Enya got bullied

Summary

Podcast Summary: Emergency Intercom – "Enya Got Bullied"

Episode Overview "Enya Got Bullied" is the latest episode of Emergency Intercom, a comedy podcast hosted by Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips under the iHeartPodcasts banner. Released on May 31, 2024, this episode delves into personal anecdotes, humorous exchanges, and a heartfelt discussion about bullying, all wrapped in the show’s signature comedic flair.

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1. Gift Opening Frenzy (01:47 – 05:03)

The episode kicks off with a lively gift opening segment featuring guests Drew Phillips, Kai, and Josiah. Drew and Kai express their excitement over receiving gifts from Teenage Engineer (TMG), a brand they avidly follow.

• Drew Phillips (02:20): “We got gifts from TMG. Are you kidding me?”
• Kai (03:17): “I actually can't believe this. Damn. This is awesome because we're going to Texas.”

The hosts humorously struggle to open their packages, highlighting their genuine enthusiasm and the comedic chemistry among them.

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2. Hygiene Habits and Personal Quirks (05:03 – 11:55)

Drew introduces a humorous yet odd topic about not wiping for 15 days, sparking reactions from Kai and Josiah. This segment showcases the hosts' ability to blend personal quirks with humor.

• Drew Phillips (05:03): “I haven't been wiping my ass for like 15 days, and it's actually been super sick because it's better. It saves money on toilet paper.”
• Kai (05:48): “Wait, how is poop still okay? No, we can't do this.”

Josiah joins in, contrasting his lack of similar habits, adding layers to the comedic dialogue.

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3. Prank Calls Galore (17:02 – 22:28)

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to the hosts’ prank calling antics. Drew, Kai, and Josiah take turns calling luxury brand stores with absurd requests, such as eating shoes and car parts.

• Josiah (19:11): “Do you guys have gay shoes? Because that always tends to stump them.”
• Drew Phillips (20:04): “I want to buy the shoes first and then eat them.”

This segment not only highlights their comedic timing but also their creative approach to humor, keeping listeners engaged with unpredictable twists.

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4. Stand-Up Comedy Bits (50:22 – 54:25)

Drew shares a stand-up comedy segment he wrote, attempting to emulate his earlier comedic successes. Despite mixed reactions from the team, this part of the episode underscores the show’s commitment to diverse comedic styles.

• Drew Phillips (50:25): “How old do you have to be to buy alcohol?”
• Drew Phillips (51:09): “Why are there so many chickens crossing the road? Look at all those chickens. And why am I so hungry all of a sudden?”

While Kai and Josiah critique the bits, the segment adds depth to the episode, showcasing the hosts' multifaceted talents.

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5. The Bullying Incident (30:28 – 34:27)

The emotional core of the episode centers around Kai recounting a distressing bullying incident at a concert. Kai details the encounter with two men who mocked and laughed at him, leading to feelings of anger and embarrassment.

• Kai (30:28): “I got bullied and I did cry over it. So if anybody was wondering…”
• Kai (32:44): “He was laughing in my face, and I was just standing under these two nasty monsters laughing at me.”

Drew and Josiah respond with empathy and support, reinforcing the episode’s blend of humor and genuine emotional discussions.

• Drew Phillips (34:20): “And hopefully he sees this somehow and he feels guilty and then ends up going to therapy.”
• Josiah (34:32): “Rest.”

This segment provides a poignant moment, allowing listeners to connect with the hosts on a deeper level.

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6. Relationship Dynamics and Comedic Tension (34:32 – 44:30)

The conversation shifts to relationship dynamics, with Drew humorously claiming a fictional relationship with musician SZA. This leads to playful banter and teasing among the hosts.

• Drew Phillips (34:30): “Sza is my girlfriend, and I just don't think people are talking about it.”
• Kai (35:02): “Do you think you can pull Sza?”

The interactions escalate into exaggerated claims and humorous insults, maintaining the episode’s lively and chaotic energy.

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7. Stand-Up Comedy Revisited and Final Jokes (50:22 – 70:44)

Drew attempts another stand-up bit, incorporating puns and playful jabs at the other hosts. The segment is interspersed with more prank call stories and light-hearted teasing.

• Drew Phillips (54:25): “How old do you have to be to buy alcohol?”
• Kai (54:32): “Drew’s addicted to porn.”

As the episode winds down, the hosts continue their rapid-fire joke exchanges, ensuring a memorable and entertaining conclusion.

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Conclusion

"Enya Got Bullied" masterfully balances humor with heartfelt moments, offering listeners a multifaceted experience. From outrageous prank calls and stand-up snippets to a sincere discussion on bullying, the episode exemplifies Emergency Intercom's ability to blend comedy with meaningful narratives. Notable quotes and dynamic interactions among the hosts ensure that both regular listeners and newcomers find the episode engaging and relatable.

Notable Quotes:

• Drew Phillips (05:03): “I haven't been wiping my ass for like 15 days, and it's actually been super sick because it's better.”
• Josiah (19:11): “Do you guys have gay shoes? Because that always tends to stump them.”
• Kai (30:28): “I got bullied and I did cry over it. So if anybody was wondering…”
• Drew Phillips (34:30): “Sza is my girlfriend, and I just don't think people are talking about it.”

Overall, this episode stands out for its candidness, comedic brilliance, and the genuine camaraderie among the hosts, making it a must-listen for fans of the podcast.

Transcript

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and safeway. Now through June 24th. Score hot summer savings and earn four times the points. Look for in store tags on Items like Pepsi 2 liter bottles, poppy prebiotic sodas, all laundry detergent, and Kinder's seasoning blend. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event long savings. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in store or online. For easy drive up and go pickup or delivery subject to availability restrictions. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details.

[Drew Phillips]

Still getting around to that fix on your car? You got this on ebay, you'll find millions of parts guaranteed to fit. Doesn't matter if it's a major engine repair or your first time swapping your windshield wipers. Ebay has that part you need ready to click perfectly into place for changes big and small, loud or quiet. Find all the parts you need at prices you'll love. Guaranteed to fit every time. But you already know that. Ebay things people love. Eligible items only. Exclusion supply.

[Josiah]

I've never felt like this before. It's like you just get me. I feel like my true self with you.

[Kai]

Does that sound crazy? And it doesn't hurt that you're gorgeous. Okay, that's it. I'm taking you home with me. I mean, you can't find shoes this good just anywhere. Find a shoe for every you from brands you love, like Birkenstock, Nike, Adidas and more at your DSW store or dsw.com.

[Drew Phillips]

Welcome back, guys.

[Kai]

Hi.

[Drew Phillips]

Welcome back.

[Kai]

So long. It feels weird being right directly in front of the camera like this because I'm just staring down the lens. I'm looking you in your eyes. You're not alone. I see you. This is Josiah.

[Drew Phillips]

If anybody, our first guest in the new set.

[Josiah]

Hey, it's only right.

[Drew Phillips]

It's a movie. It's a movie.

[Josiah]

I'm the only one that could get on such short notice.

[Kai]

He's the only free person we could get on set.

[Josiah]

Also, Drew, I'm sorry, but the whole episode, I'm gonna be looking at myself in that tv, right?

[Drew Phillips]

You're welcome.

[Kai]

Half the time when we're doing an episode and I'm looking at Drew, I'm looking past him, and I'm looking at myself because I'm making sure my side, that's.

[Drew Phillips]

That's typical for me. I'm. I'm used being looked through, not seen, not cared for, really. So I do have some gifts for you. Oh, what the hell? I think you're going to really like it.

[Kai]

I have a feeling this is going to make me laugh. It will make you laugh even. Oh, my God, guys, we got gifts. The hell?

[Drew Phillips]

We got gifts from tmg. Are you kidding me?

[Kai]

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, no. Okay.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm literally about to throw up.

[Kai]

Oh, wait.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. No, y' all, this is so hard to open.

[Drew Phillips]

No, these are the.

[Kai]

Okay. I got really scared. I was like, I have to act like I don't have this. This is awesome. And I'm gonna try.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm, like, literally shaking. Holy.

[Kai]

I actually can't believe that. This is perfect because we're going to Texas.

[Drew Phillips]

I know. Yeah.

[Kai]

Wait, we need to explain. So me and Drew are obsessed with Teenage Engineer, and we've been like, TMG team that we really want this, even though it is, like, ludicrous and it's, like, the most ridiculous ask ever. It's literally two who get, like, a team behind them, and we're like, just give me the jet. Like, give me the jet. This is our equivalent. And we just got the jet, y' all. But no emissions.

[Drew Phillips]

Holy.

[Kai]

Thank you guys so much. This is actually awesome.

[Drew Phillips]

Thank you.

[Kai]

I needed this. You have no idea how much I needed this right now.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, my God.

[Kai]

Wow. Thank you so much. This is actually awesome. I thought it was going to be something really stupid.

[Josiah]

Dude, they have been talking about these microphones. I'm not joking.

[Drew Phillips]

I've even emailed them asking for them because they were sold out when I wanted to buy them. Didn't get a response to order them from Belgium. Really?

[Josiah]

Really.

[Drew Phillips]

Belgium. Wow.

[Kai]

Wow. Thank you so much. Oh, my God. This is perfect because we're going to Texas so we can, like.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God. Thank you.

[Kai]

Thank you guys so much.

[Drew Phillips]

This is.

[Kai]

Yeah, this is actually lit.

[Drew Phillips]

I know. I trying to open it like a fucking.

[Kai]

They make them, like, actually impossible to open. When I got my tape recorder, like, it took me so long to learn how to open it.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh.

[Kai]

But now. But I'm like, I'm really well versed in Teenage Engineer because I actually have so much stuff.

[Drew Phillips]

I have an OP1.

[Kai]

Wow. Thank you guys so much. I actually can't believe this. Damn. This is awesome.

[Drew Phillips]

Damn, I can't even get it.

[Kai]

Also, what's cool is this big plastic acrylic case is going to be here 1800 years after I die, and they're going to be like, what the fuck was in this?

[Josiah]

Now, teenager Josiah, my gift is the wrapping paper. I love paper. Lucky for you guys, paper is my kink.

[Drew Phillips]

Hello.

[Josiah]

Or My. I. I couldn't think of a better word. You ate with that.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay, so thank you. Yeah, thank y' all. Okay, to start this episode after the beautiful gift giving, I just wanted to start by saying I don't know if this is something weird or something that I only do, or if this is something that all men do, which I'm pretty sure Josiah and Kai are a part of this, but I haven't been wiping my ass for, like, 15 days, and it's actually been, like, super sick because, like, it's better. It's easier. It saves money on toilet paper.

[Josiah]

Also, like, I don't do this at all.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay, well, Kai does, so you're free.

[Josiah]

Okay, you're rejoicing that you have a similarity with Kai when it comes to hygiene.

[Drew Phillips]

Yes.

[Josiah]

That's.

[Drew Phillips]

That's my boy. And after 15 days, you just get to peel it off like a little scab. That is the build up.

[Kai]

Wait, how is poop still okay? No, we can't do this.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, we can't do this.

[Anya]

It looks like a piece of Amari at the end. Here's the thing, guys, really quick. If anybody's interested in doing this process, don't just go straight into it. Go from wiping to just dabbing or slash putting, pushing it back in to. Then you can go cold turkey, pushing it back in. Just check the subreddit. What's up?

[Kai]

Are you full of poop?

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, wait, that reminds me of the photo. When twinks get this little belly, that means they have a turd in the chamber.

[Kai]

Also, I wish. Like, have you ever seen Drew post, like, a meme to his story on his meme account and be like, y' all were going viral. Like, have you ever witnessed that?

[Josiah]

No, I don't.

[Kai]

Well, he does that all the time. Anytime a meme on his meme page gets like.

[Drew Phillips]

Meme page? What the fog.

[Kai]

Because your memes are so crazy, they.

[Josiah]

Need to be locked up in the case, actually.

[Kai]

But any time a post gets, like, literally eight likes, Drew will post it to a story and be like, y' all, we're going viral. We're going viral. And then I was curious because I was like, wait, we need to go through your archive of your stories to see how often you said that. And his only stories on his meme page are him reposting his own thing, saying, we're going viral.

[Josiah]

That I actually do know what you're talking about now, because Drew, since, like, fucking 2018, has been showing me his page. And when a meme gets more than three likes he's like, dude, it's, like, blowing up.

[Drew Phillips]

We're cooking. We're cooking.

[Kai]

I'm cooking.

[Drew Phillips]

Well, there's only, like, 69. 69. You know, 69 followers on. So on.

[Kai]

That was, like, the craziest thing ever. What the fake laughing just did.

[Drew Phillips]

That was Josiah. That just came out of it.

[Josiah]

Do not watch the new season of Drag Race All Stars.

[Drew Phillips]

It is.

[Kai]

It is so brought.

[Drew Phillips]

Ran.

[Josiah]

Horrible.

[Kai]

Yeah, I like when they're mean. Like, I want to see.

[Josiah]

There's no stakes on the season. No one can go home. No one's winning.

[Kai]

Oh, is everybody against red meat now?

[Drew Phillips]

Damn.

[Josiah]

Oh, there's no stakes. Damn.

[Drew Phillips]

That's damn.

[Kai]

Well, the other day, when it was a full moon, me and Drew stood in our backyard and stared up at the moon because we're crazy people, and we were just saying.

[Drew Phillips]

And I said, I want to let go of all the toxic and bad things in my life. And what did you say?

[Kai]

I said, I might not make it through my sleep. I might disappear in my sleep.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, okay.

[Kai]

And I told him to take it back because I wanted to live.

[Drew Phillips]

When there's a full moon, you release. You release all the things you don't want in your life. And when. Oh, no, no. When there's a. Yeah, yeah. When there's a full moon, you release. When there's a no moon, you speak the things you want into your life. Since it's a new. You're born a new. What are you doing?

[Anya]

I was trying to flip off Josiah because I'm pissed off at him, and I think everyone here knows why.

[Kai]

Oh, because Josiah is Drew's boyfriend?

[Anya]

Yes, Josiah's Drew's boyfriend, and you brought him on the podcast, and now you're rubbing boyfriend, too? What is this that makes me feel.

[Josiah]

I'm not talking about this on the podcast.

[Kai]

A cheater. So you can't even be mad.

[Josiah]

No, I'm not.

[Kai]

No, I not.

[Josiah]

No, I not. That's my response to me calling my head. You guys do need my help. This is unacceptable. I really wanted to come today dressed as super nanny. Like, super bad. Like, Zach. We literally were contemplating at 1am last night, texting you, saying, like, can you get a super nanny outfit for tomorrow?

[Drew Phillips]

I would have a way. Like, I would have found a way.

[Kai]

Oh, my God.

[Josiah]

Babies are gonna be crazy.

[Drew Phillips]

Exactly. Exactly.

[Josiah]

They really are. They're gonna come out skinny as.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, like the Zika virus. Babies with the shrunken heads.

[Kai]

Oh.

[Josiah]

Does that affect men, though?

[Drew Phillips]

What?

[Josiah]

I think that disease is only for the girls.

[Drew Phillips]

What? Zika I didn't know that.

[Kai]

I don't think that's real. That sounds like something you just made up.

[Drew Phillips]

No, Zika's a very real thing. You get it?

[Kai]

No, I know. Zika is real, girl. I've, like, my life is a movie. I'm always in the airports and stuff, so I remember when they had it.

[Josiah]

Oh, and you have Zika virus?

[Kai]

Well, I had.

[Josiah]

Oh, I got rid of it.

[Kai]

I got past it. But, yeah, I know that it's a real thing, but Josie is trying to claim that if a man had Zika virus, like, it would. It'd be like, hpv. Like, you just. Like, it wouldn't be a thing for.

[Drew Phillips]

Wait, the TV network.

[Josiah]

HP. No, that's HGTV.

[Drew Phillips]

HP.

[Josiah]

Oh, MTV. Like, I don't think.

[Drew Phillips]

What's the. Oh, the. HBO's.

[Kai]

Three people who just spend all their time together watching TV. Like, that's all we do. We literally get mad when Josie comes over to the house and somebody invites us out to a plane. We're like, okay, well, that's like throwing a wrench in our plans. And the plan stop.

[Josiah]

And watching Drag Race and playing Fortnite.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. Fortnite. The new season of Fortnite is so good. It's so good.

[Anya]

Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

Are you playing with people?

[Anya]

They did to us last time.

[Drew Phillips]

No, for real.

[Anya]

Why the. Was it Greek mythology?

[Kai]

Because the zodiacs and stuff. The zodiac signs and stuff.

[Josiah]

There was no astrology like, it. Like, I don't even think that's matches.

[Kai]

Y' all aren't on what I'm on.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, it's different.

[Josiah]

We are.

[Kai]

My lithium is hitting right now. No, this morning.

[Drew Phillips]

The new season is so fun. I could see how it would be horrible if you played alone, but with, like, a group of people. It is so good. It brought me back.

[Kai]

Playing it alone actually makes me so mad. And I played the other night, and I got so close to a win, and then once I let my controller down, my hands were, like, cramped up, and it felt like. It kind of felt like after I see your mom, like, that's how my hands felt.

[Drew Phillips]

What?

[Kai]

Oh. What's the other notes you have?

[Drew Phillips]

Wait, what do you mean?

[Kai]

Oh, my fingers were really cramped after I was playing for it.

[Drew Phillips]

I know. What do you mean by. It?

[Kai]

Just was reminding me. I don't know. Like, why. Why are you prodding me?

[Drew Phillips]

I want to know. Just say it. Just.

[Kai]

Oh, Finger blasting your mother.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. Oh, right.

[Josiah]

Also, which camera is recording? So I know which one to look into.

[Drew Phillips]

That one.

[Anya]

I think it's this One.

[Josiah]

No, is it that one?

[Kai]

This is the main.

[Josiah]

Because there's three of them.

[Anya]

Are you serious?

[Drew Phillips]

This one is.

[Kai]

This one is that one. This one is the main one.

[Josiah]

This one is the main one.

[Drew Phillips]

Wait, that one is.

[Kai]

Yeah, the one with the time on it.

[Drew Phillips]

I thought it was the one by Kai.

[Anya]

Not this one.

[Kai]

Oh, it is that one. It is that one.

[Josiah]

Oh, it's that one.

[Drew Phillips]

It's this one.

[Anya]

Because this is closest to my.

[Kai]

I've been like, oh, my God. I'm staring at you literally looking the other way.

[Drew Phillips]

I see the type of person that you are. Wait, what were we talking about? The. It makes you feel like, what game were we playing where it was like, I don't know who I am. Oh, never mind. It's stupid. It's stupid. It's.

[Kai]

There's this game that we went to a friend's house for game night, and there's this game that everybody is like a robot in the game and they all look the same. And you just have to move your character around to figure out who you are in this crowd of, like, 20 robots. And it was the funniest game to play with a group of people, because every two seconds, somebody would be like, I don't know who I am. I don't know who I am. It sounded like a big existential party.

[Drew Phillips]

Of, like, we all did ayahuasca.

[Kai]

I lost myself. Who am I? I can't see myself.

[Josiah]

Oh, Drew, tell that joke. The ayahuasca joke.

[Drew Phillips]

Which one?

[Josiah]

Show me to me, please.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, okay. So y' all know. Show it to me, Rachel. Y' all know. Show it to me, Rachel. Please, Rachel. Show it to me. Well, you could say, show me to me, Rachel, and it's me after doing ayahuasca. And Rachel's name is Rach. Or Rachel's name is ayahuasca. Oh, my God. I'm so fried. I'm so.

[Kai]

Wouldn't it be your name is Rachel if you were like, show me to me, please, Rachel.

[Drew Phillips]

Show me to me, please, Rachel. No, I'm asking Rachel to show me.

[Kai]

Yeah, because Rachel is used. Show. You're speaking to yourself, like, show me to me, please.

[Drew Phillips]

No, Rachel's God in this scenario.

[Kai]

Okay.

[Drew Phillips]

Omnipresent Rachel is Jesus. Yeah. Okay. So to fill some time, I feel like I could talk about basketball if y' all.

[Kai]

Oh, my God. No, we don't.

[Josiah]

Like.

[Kai]

We just started. We don't need, like, a.

[Josiah]

You and some other guy were talking about basketball yesterday when we were walking back to the car, and it freaked Me out so bad that I had to run up to Enya and Rain and be like, dude, they're talking about basketball, and it's freaking me out.

[Drew Phillips]

You just don't get it.

[Josiah]

I really don't.

[Kai]

I actually don't. When we were at that same game night before, we had to get there early because Drew wanted to watch the rest of the game. So we had to go, like, an hour early to finish the game. And I felt the exact way an infant does. Their mother is ignoring them and on Tik Tok while the baby is on the chest. Like, I was just looking at the screen because it was something to look at.

[Drew Phillips]

And I was, like, sitting on the couch, like, on my knees, like, rocking, like, watching the game.

[Kai]

And he kept being like, oh. Oh, my God. Oh, wow.

[Drew Phillips]

This is. Well, that's my team. Like, we're teammates at this point. Like, I bought a jersey. Like, we're part of the squad. Kyrie and Luca. Kyrie and Luca.

[Kai]

You ate him up. You're not a teammate. You're a fan.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, wow. Mark Cuban.

[Josiah]

Mark Cuban died yesterday.

[Drew Phillips]

I know. Yeah.

[Kai]

No, fuck you. I would have seen that. I keep up. I would have seen that.

[Drew Phillips]

But, yeah. So Kyrie and Luca, best backcourt in the league right now. Cooking Rudy Gobert, defensive player of the year. Yeah, right. That team was built to beat the Nuggets and the Nuggets only the reigning champions and the Mavs are going to sweep them, unfortunately tonight. And it's going to be very sad for them, and I'm so excited.

[Anya]

I don't understand basketball or sports or anything, but I'm a good ass boyfriend. And I fucking spoiled Drew and I take him to courtside.

[Josiah]

Why do you say shit like that?

[Kai]

I'm a good ass.

[Drew Phillips]

What do you mean the girls are fighting?

[Anya]

No, no. Say it. Say it. Say what you want to say.

[Josiah]

Delusional girl here. Delulu.

[Anya]

Delusional.

[Josiah]

Chocolate.

[Drew Phillips]

Chocolate potato chicken.

[Josiah]

Okay. I have a joke.

[Drew Phillips]

Chocolate.

[Josiah]

Okay. Knock, knock.

[Drew Phillips]

Who's there?

[Josiah]

Potato.

[Drew Phillips]

Potato who?

[Josiah]

Potato chicken.

[Kai]

Dude, this is, like, really, like, one of those episodes I'm gonna watch back and be like, what the.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm already mortified. I'm like.

[Josiah]

I feel like every episode that I come on ends up like that. And y' all keep bringing me on. You're like, well, it. We'll just have Josie on. It'll be a good episode. And every time it's horrible. It's just a different type of vibe.

[Kai]

Well, when I finish my period, every few days after that, I get really scared that there's a chance that I left a tampon in myself, and then I'm gonna die.

[Josiah]

Ew.

[Anya]

Yeah. I'm out of here. I can't do this.

[Drew Phillips]

I literally just threw up in my mouth.

[Kai]

Do you know how hard it is being a girl?

[Drew Phillips]

Y' all always complaining about some, like, you don't have Sephora Rogue sale right around the corner.

[Josiah]

No.

[Kai]

What you got? The other day, Drew was like, wait, where are you going? Are you going to the Sephora road sale?

[Drew Phillips]

That was Josiah.

[Josiah]

I thought it was the road sale. What the Is the rogue sale?

[Kai]

Rogue, like red?

[Drew Phillips]

Rogue wave Rogue, like red?

[Kai]

Is that not what it is?

[Josiah]

I don't know if that's girl or is it wrong?

[Kai]

Because I'm going crazy in the Sephora rogue.

[Josiah]

Oh, I have a good idea for Sephora. The Sephora challenge is go into Sephora, run in there, try to eat as much makeup as you can before you throw up.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, should we prank call Gucci again? Oh, well, yeah, me and Josiah. Okay, so me and Josiah Kai. Don't touch that. Don't touch that.

[Anya]

I was told by the team that Drew needs a little bit more room on his left side.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay, good. Oh, wow. Also, I'm so big that I need.

[Anya]

That's not at all. That is not at all a lot.

[Kai]

Of the shot right now.

[Josiah]

Yeah, Drew, it's not shocking.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, my God. This is crazy.

[Josiah]

What makeup shade is that? What makeup shade is that? Malt liquor.

[Kai]

Do you know what he's referencing?

[Drew Phillips]

Yes. Yes, I do. Okay, so India left to the gym and left me and Josiah home alone. And when we're home alone, when we have custody of Josiah, me and Josiah just get into shit. Like we do. Fun leaving us home alone.

[Josiah]

Mistake number one.

[Drew Phillips]

Exactly.

[Kai]

Also, you keep looking at this scammer. That one.

[Drew Phillips]

Sorry.

[Josiah]

Continue.

[Drew Phillips]

So we decided to prank call. So our victims this time were luxury brand stores. So, like, Gucci, Prada, Mu Mu. Louis Vuitton, Versace.

[Josiah]

Why we never called them?

[Drew Phillips]

I don't know. It's. And it was.

[Kai]

So I have business there. Y' all are with my business.

[Josiah]

Yeah, your business there is buying things.

[Drew Phillips]

And being a customer, the business in question. So we. We started prank calling all of them, and I don't know. Oh, no, we started with that WSS.

[Josiah]

Sneakers, because we call them. I like, I've called them in the past. I'm like, do you guys have gay shoes? Because that always tends to, like, stump them.

[Drew Phillips]

They're like, wait, like gay shoes?

[Josiah]

And I'm like, yeah, like Karachis. Like gay shoes. Like, for. For Pride Month. Like, my son wants to go to school and, like, show his colors, and.

[Drew Phillips]

They'Re like, oh, well, then we. Josiah, decided to ask them if he could eat the shoes. And so it's, like, literally not funny. Like, I don't know why it's so funny to us. Yeah. But we decided to call all of the designer stores and just contrive, like, a long story about how, like, we want to eat the shoes. And it would freak them out, and they'd be like, wait, what do you mean? Like, you want to.

[Kai]

You want to say. It's like the best prank call. Because one, it is not only so harmless, but it genuinely gets the person on the other line asking questions. Because usually the person is like, fudge you. And hangs up. But this one, the person actually believes it. Because first they started out and they would be like, no, you. You can't just buy our. Like, you can't just eat our product. You have to buy it. And then Josie would be like, oh, no, of course I'm going to buy it. But, like, can I eat it in the store?

[Josiah]

I'm really going to eat the shoes in front of you.

[Drew Phillips]

And then it would, like, evolve into, can I eat your shoes? And they'd be like, okay, unless it.

[Josiah]

Was a woman, because I'm not going to do that. But if it was a man, I would be like, well, what shoes are you wearing? Can I eat?

[Drew Phillips]

And then we called like, have you tried the leather?

[Kai]

Like, is it.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, yeah, yeah. We. We also called Gucci and said that someone took a bite out of the purse.

[Josiah]

Oh, yeah. I bought a purse for my wife yesterday, and I. There's a bite taken out of it.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. And then it. It evolved into us admitting that we were the ones that ate the bite. And they were like, well, you can't return that, bro.

[Kai]

Yeah. And then she was like, okay, well, that. I can't help you. And then he was like, should I.

[Josiah]

Just eat the whole bag?

[Drew Phillips]

Because it tastes really starving. Yeah. And then we called Land Rover and asked them if we could eat. If we could eat a Defender or. No, No, a Land Range Rover. Yeah, Range Rover Sport. Because by piece. Bolt. By bolt.

[Josiah]

Defender would rubber. By rubber filling.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

Because I told him. I was like, okay, like, I'm doing this thing where, like, every year I consume a whole car bit by bit throughout the year. So, like, can I come in and taste test some of the bolts? Like. And he was like, what? And I was like, I know it sounds crazy. Like, I. Half an engine for breakfast this morning. And he was like, you want to eat the car?

[Kai]

And he was like, you can't eat the car. And Josie was like, can I just taste, like, taste test, like, something under the hood where no one will see it? Like, I'll just take a bowl or, like, lick the engine or have some of the oil that's in there.

[Drew Phillips]

We'll insert some videos of it. I'll find. I filmed literally every single one of them. I was curious if I could come in and just, like, eat the shoes. I'm sorry, what? To what? Eat. Eat the shoes.

[Anya]

It's a crime to damage the product.

[Drew Phillips]

No, no, no. I mean, like, I want to buy the shoes first and then eat them.

[Josiah]

You gonna buy them first or you're gonna eat them first and then buy them? Oh, I would want to purchase them first.

[Kai]

I mean, you can do whatever you.

[Anya]

Want with them, man.

[Josiah]

You know, but we. You can't return them if you eat them. You know, I basically had, like, half an engine for breakfast.

[Drew Phillips]

It's.

[Josiah]

It's weird, I know, but I'm just. I'm just looking to get more of a luxury one this year. I purchased an Infinity last year, and I'm almost 70% through the range over. Defenders are amazing. Yeah, they're just so filling. I. I mean, I know I'm hungry right now, but I know it's going to be too much.

[Drew Phillips]

And there's literally 30 minutes of footage.

[Kai]

Dude. The car dealership one was the craziest one because it was seven. Somebody who just got a car. It is crazy how predatory, like, the car salespeople are, which. I get it. Get your bag. Understand? But, like, every time I went and looked at a car, I got countless and resentless emailing and texts and calls from the car dealerships being like, are you gonna buy the car? Oh, we could give you a deal. Like, low interest. Like. Like, just harassing me. So this guy stayed on the phone.

[Drew Phillips]

With the links that they will go.

[Kai]

Yeah. For literally. Yeah, six minutes.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, seven.

[Kai]

Entertaining Josie.

[Josiah]

And by the end, he was just like. He was like. I kept. I kept pressing it, like, no, I'm gonna eat it before I buy it.

[Drew Phillips]

I just came. Joke.

[Kai]

Oh, God.

[Drew Phillips]

Wait, hold. Let me think about it.

[Josiah]

Okay.

[Drew Phillips]

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven, eight, nine, y' all.

[Josiah]

You didn't just think of that.

[Kai]

That's a joke.

[Josiah]

That's been a joke. Like, in, like, third grade. Fourth grade, y' all.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm burning your houses down.

[Anya]

My favorite Josiah prank calls were on the way to Jose, Not Josiah.

[Josiah]

Oh, Joseph Tree.

[Anya]

No. I knew you guys were gonna make fun.

[Josiah]

Joshua. Yeah. What is Joseph?

[Anya]

I never knew this was gonna happen.

[Josiah]

You sound like a Joseph Tree expert.

[Anya]

I knew this would happen again. No. On the way to Joshua Tree and you called, like, five Chick fil A's and asked if they got the pussy part of the bird. Yeah.

[Josiah]

Drew came up with that. That is really good, Linus. Calling them and saying, y' all use the pussy part of the bird or. No. Are we allowed to say that word?

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. Yeah, of course.

[Kai]

What do you.

[Anya]

We can say whatever Josiah we want.

[Drew Phillips]

Nothing has changed.

[Josiah]

Say the crazy thing.

[Drew Phillips]

Say, do the crazy thing.

[Josiah]

Do the crazy thing.

[Kai]

How much earlier were y' all awake than me?

[Josiah]

We woke up at, like, seven.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, we've been awake since seven.

[Josiah]

We've been up.

[Kai]

You look like it.

[Drew Phillips]

You're out of frame, Josiah.

[Josiah]

Oh, sorry.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay, so back to basketball.

[Kai]

No. Shut up.

[Josiah]

Please. No.

[Drew Phillips]

The Timberwolves. Our Anthony Towns is cooked.

[Anya]

I'd love to hear more.

[Kai]

Starting to scare me. The emergency intercom meals on that account, they're really starting to scare me because I keep referencing this game night. But before we went, our friend was.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, oh, game night.

[Kai]

That's what you were the president gay.

[Josiah]

Oh, yeah. He was the president of the gay night. What is that thing that he's holding?

[Kai]

He's probably gonna put it in his butt or something.

[Josiah]

I'm just looking at the. The meals. That's not so bad. That's just Wingstop.

[Kai]

No, but what I'm saying is, what's scaring me is we are literally the generation of Eat Hot cheetos. Can't cook, lie. Use iPhone. And I'm starting to think be bisexual. No, no, no.

[Josiah]

That's pushing it.

[Kai]

Yeah, that's.

[Josiah]

I feel like.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. No.

[Josiah]

Well, they ate healthy this day. Avocado toast.

[Kai]

Yeah. No. Some people are making themselves things. Okay. That meme was more of a premonition than it was like, a joke. Like, it literally was telling the future. Because our generation can cook breakfast. Like, we can make eggs past that. It's a wrap. Like, it. Literally, finding somebody who can cook a real meal that tastes good, I think, in our generation, is actually impossible.

[Josiah]

Pasta. I can make pasta.

[Kai]

Anybody can.

[Drew Phillips]

Butter noodles. Butter noodles.

[Josiah]

Butter noodles. The girls be making butter noodles.

[Drew Phillips]

I make Slim Jims at home.

[Josiah]

Oh, in the toilet.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

Now you make, like, cocoa. Cocoa Puffs. Like, little pellets.

[Drew Phillips]

And I'm cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.

[Josiah]

I'm cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.

[Kai]

Throw it at me.

[Anya]

I would never Throw something at a woman.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay, so basically, Rudy Gobert got his ankles broken by Luca.

[Josiah]

And maybe if he was wearing Gucci shoes, he.

[Drew Phillips]

Gucci loafers. If he ate his shoe for breakfast that morning, he probably wouldn't have gotten broken down.

[Josiah]

They should do a gay season of the NBA where they all have to wear high heels for all the games.

[Anya]

Drew, what else happened in basketball?

[Drew Phillips]

Thank you for. Actually, you're welcome. Taking interest in.

[Josiah]

You're such a pick me.

[Anya]

I don't give a fuck.

[Drew Phillips]

Wait, we need to go back to what you just said.

[Josiah]

What, that he's a pick me?

[Drew Phillips]

He's a pick me. No, no. Gay basketball league where they play in high heels.

[Josiah]

Oh, yeah. And they wear flips.

[Drew Phillips]

Have y' all seen the gay basketball league?

[Kai]

Oh, I seen the gay, like, basketball player who, like, emotes after everything.

[Drew Phillips]

Yes. Hold on.

[Josiah]

Who wears nail. Nail gloss or nail polish? What is it called? I just.

[Kai]

That's, like, every man now.

[Drew Phillips]

Gay basketball Philippines.

[Kai]

This is literally.

[Josiah]

Dude, like, that's a normal reaction to getting a goal, though.

[Drew Phillips]

For you.

[Josiah]

Yeah, for you, too. Like, you want to celebrate. Oh, wow.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, he cooked them. And that emo is so fun.

[Kai]

I love the, like, the bow.

[Drew Phillips]

The cupid's bow.

[Josiah]

Craziest part about this is that guy's straight.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. Like, probably. No. That's literally, like, one of my favorite videos of all time. Ky, are you good?

[Anya]

Yeah, I'm good. I still have a head rush from that.

[Drew Phillips]

He just chugged a tall boy.

[Josiah]

Head rush.

[Kai]

Well, if anybody was wondering where my mental state is, this is something I wrote down in my notes. Kind of in the mood to go to a deserted beach that is kind of cold and foggy, and I have to wear a really big jacket parka, and have a metal detector and just find garbage.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, that's where I'm at.

[Josiah]

I like that idea. But if you were wearing a bikini three sizes too small.

[Drew Phillips]

Mmm. Just covering the nipple.

[Josiah]

I'm not discriminating. This year, I'm gonna be sexually harassing Drew and any. Fuck it. Women cannot escape. Y' all want equality? Here you go. Here you go.

[Kai]

Here you fucking go. Damn.

[Drew Phillips]

Wait, y' all. Last night at Kai's, we had, like, such a pretty night. Kai's birthday, we had, like, a beach bonfire, and Kai's community came out. And it was genuinely very sweet and cute. It was packed. It was. It was a good idea.

[Josiah]

You know, people.

[Drew Phillips]

I was worried it was going to be freezing cold, but when the fire got started and we all got cold or close and, like, it was sweet. It was really cute. But before the fire was started, it was still daytime. I was like, walking around the beach and I picked up this big fucking crab. And it was like, riz. It was crab. Riz. All of the girls were like, drew.

[Kai]

Oh my God, this is so crap.

[Drew Phillips]

I saw it.

[Anya]

Yeah, I saw it. Yeah. And I just have Riz.

[Drew Phillips]

I have Riz.

[Kai]

Okay, so this might be a thing of like.

[Drew Phillips]

I. I'm not gonna say I have Riz. Yeah, don't do it.

[Anya]

Drew, do you know what, like, a reality distortion field is? Yeah, it's where, like, someone's perspective is so different from like, the rest of the world's. I'm just wondering if you know what that is.

[Josiah]

Why are you being mean to Drew?

[Anya]

I'm not being mean to you.

[Josiah]

You're supposed to be his boyfriend. You're being patient.

[Anya]

I support him, but I also, like, help him grow and shit. Okay, here's the thing. Last night, did you guys notice it was really fucking hard to start the fire?

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah.

[Anya]

And then daddy came in and I started that so quickly and I. My energy was so magnetic. I just felt people, like, feel so safe and so comfortable and they were like.

[Kai]

Oh, so.

[Josiah]

Okay, we're telling you differently.

[Drew Phillips]

Look, wait, I literally have a video of you starting the fire. Do I look that in there? And you look good, Kai. You're literally doing so good right now.

[Anya]

Oh, I think I actually did that.

[Drew Phillips]

Also.

[Josiah]

The fire was.

[Drew Phillips]

Wait, I'm still. We need to go. Kai, burn down Malibu.

[Kai]

Kai actually started a forest fire last night.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay, wait, but I need to go back to reality distortion because I think all three of Yalls realities are very distorted. Actually, never mind.

[Josiah]

Mine is awesome.

[Drew Phillips]

Never mind.

[Kai]

Awesome.

[Josiah]

Mine is awesome.

[Kai]

Well, I got bullied at a concert.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, it was really dark. It was really dark.

[Kai]

I got bullied and I did cry over it. So if anybody was wondering.

[Drew Phillips]

And then she took. Stood next to a leaky trash can and took like 30 photos.

[Josiah]

Oh, how long was she standing next to you a leaky trash can? He said leaky.

[Kai]

You may laugh about it even.

[Josiah]

Sorry, Drew. Read the.

[Kai]

You really made him think.

[Josiah]

Read the notes. Yeah, he's thinking. Not the thinker on set today.

[Drew Phillips]

Syphacis. Syphilis. Rolling the Stone. Oh, my God.

[Josiah]

Remember when I thought I had syphilis?

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, that was a horrible dude.

[Kai]

24 hours, Josie. You thought you had it like for an hour and then you called everybody you knew.

[Josiah]

Oh, no, I know. I called like my long term girlfriend and was like, dude, like, like 99. I have it, and I haven't even been.

[Drew Phillips]

And actually, like, y' all, like, weren't long term yet. Y' all. Y' all, like, literally just started.

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, it wasn't, like, a fresh, like, or. It was a very fresh relationship. Josiah called everybody without getting tested and told everybody he had syphysis.

[Josiah]

And I went to the doctor, and she made me pull down my pants and looked at it, and it was.

[Kai]

She actually.

[Josiah]

Yes. It was just, like, awkward because I was like, oh, my God.

[Drew Phillips]

Never mind. I'm gonna say I had a them in.

[Kai]

Well, should I say my bullying story, or does nobody care about me?

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, oh, yeah, of course.

[Kai]

I. I already told you. So it's like.

[Josiah]

I mean, you thought you didn't tell.

[Drew Phillips]

Them, and you tell them.

[Kai]

It's true, guys. Well, when we were at the Sky Ferrera concert, we were getting stopped in, like, this walkway while we were, like, about to head out to, like, use the bathroom, and this girl, like, stopped me and was, like, just talking to me and Drew, and, like, she was, like, the second or third person to stop us, like, in that little walkway. And I'm assuming this guy had been watching us for a minute because I go to walk towards this step, like, their steps down into the walkway. Also, at this point, it was still, like, two, three hours before the concert started, so us being in the walkway wasn't a big deal. It wasn't, like, mid concert or anything. And I was walking in front of the steps, and this guy is, like, charging at me, stops at the top of the steps, and is, like, looking down at me.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, it's, like, literally three inches from in his face.

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Almost falls on me. And then, like, is this close to my face and is like, I'm a huge fan of you, by the way. And I just. I thought he was being. I didn't think he was being facetious. So I was like, oh, wow. Thank you so much. Like, hold on. I'm gonna. I'm speaking to someone right now, but, like, I'll talk to you in a second. And then he just started laughing in my face, and I was like.

[Drew Phillips]

His friend started laughing?

[Kai]

Yeah, his friend was right behind him, like, over shoulder. And they were both laughing at me, and they were both grown as, like, pushing 35. So then I was just standing, like, under these two nasty monsters laughing at me. And then I was with that big.

[Drew Phillips]

Oversized, like, nasty, ratted and tattered turquoise shir. Slept in it that night.

[Kai]

And then I was like. He just looked at me. He's like, okay. And I was like, oh. And then I backed up, and he started walking away, and him and his friend just looked back at me and were literally dying, laughing. And then I took a few pictures and spoke to somebody, and, oh, we did that video where the girl came up to us and was like, oh, can you take a video of me? And I did that. And then I went out to the smoking area and I cried because I was so angry and embarrassed. And that was my story.

[Josiah]

That's why concealing carry should be legal.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, but Papa was there.

[Kai]

Concealer and carrying your powder.

[Drew Phillips]

You mean period. But papa was there to talk you off. Yeah, but I really wanted to find him in the crowd and spit on his face.

[Kai]

But, yeah, and then we were, like, really trying to think. I was like, what are the chances he actually watches the podcast and was just, like, trying to be funny. But I was like, no, because he definitely did that to me because I was like, a girl and he wanted to make fun of me. And he probably knew that, like people.

[Drew Phillips]

Because he didn't do that to me.

[Kai]

Yeah, he didn't like.

[Josiah]

And hopefully he sees this somehow and he feels guilty and then ends up going to therapy.

[Anya]

Yep.

[Drew Phillips]

Well, Sza is my girlfriend.

[Josiah]

Who's Sza?

[Drew Phillips]

The musician. S Z A. Sza.

[Josiah]

S Z A. R Z A. Oh.

[Drew Phillips]

My God, y' all. No, Sza is my girlfriend, and I just don't think people are talking about it.

[Kai]

You think you can pull Sza?

[Josiah]

You think that you're.

[Drew Phillips]

I already. I already bagged Sza.

[Kai]

You know Sizza?

[Josiah]

I don't know.

[Kai]

We hang out with her all the time.

[Josiah]

I know Stizza.

[Kai]

Who is Stizza?

[Josiah]

That girl who, like, sings all about weed and stuff. Says his sister.

[Kai]

Wait, so how is she your girlfriend? I've never seen you guys.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm finding it. I'm finding it.

[Kai]

You have to find proof that she's your girlfriend.

[Drew Phillips]

She liked my IG posts.

[Kai]

I don't know if that makes you not realfront and boyfriend.

[Drew Phillips]

She liked my IG post Ghost, and it's my Met Gala look, and she thinks I'm funny and she likes my comments.

[Kai]

Have you ever been in a relationship? Do you know how they form? Because that's kind of not.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, it starts with a leg babe.

[Kai]

Like, yeah, it starts with, I've never had any kind of engagement romantically or intimately that didn't spawn from instagram.com.

[Josiah]

Seriously?

[Kai]

Yeah, everybody.

[Josiah]

Horrible.

[Kai]

Actually, no. I have one person who I met in person, and then it moved to Instagram. Oh, your mama no, your mom. My mom is dead. She never had an Instagram, sadly.

[Drew Phillips]

Rest.

[Josiah]

Bummer.

[Kai]

She didn't make it there.

[Drew Phillips]

Boring.

[Kai]

Rest in peace to my mother. She would have loved the iPhone 15.

[Drew Phillips]

Pro Max, the new camera cook.

[Kai]

She would have loved to go to a concert and zoom in and be like, guys, you would never guess. I'm actually in, like, section eight now. She's in section eight. Heather.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, wow.

[Josiah]

Or hell, depending on how you both Section 8, period.

[Drew Phillips]

I've been thinking a lot about billionaires and how they drive in the same traffic as us and they have the exact same iPhone.

[Kai]

I love when you say, like, I've been thinking a lot about this, and.

[Drew Phillips]

It mainly means I watched a tick tock. I watched a tick tock about it. They put the. The pants and under underwear on the exact same way as usual. And socks.

[Josiah]

We're all human.

[Drew Phillips]

No, I've been saying that. Wait, can someone go to my most recent IG picture and see who follows Sza and see if it's the first person that pops up when you look at it?

[Kai]

I don't think that means she was the first person.

[Drew Phillips]

No, no.

[Josiah]

Like, if you follow her, what's your on Instagram?

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, my God, Drew.

[Josiah]

Phil, I didn't follow you a while ago.

[Drew Phillips]

It's Drew Phillips 09, bruh.

[Kai]

If she was gonna be there, that would have to mean that somebody in this room interacts with her enough to be the most interacted account.

[Josiah]

I don't follow her.

[Kai]

It's.

[Josiah]

She doesn't exist, and I don't know who she is, so.

[Kai]

And you're making up a girlfriend. And Josie's just like, he's doing this thing right now by protecting his peace and by convincing himself that Sza is made up because he knows that Sza is real and she's, like, a baddie.

[Drew Phillips]

I feel like I'm being ganged up on by everybody.

[Kai]

No, I'm defending you. I'm defending you. But I will say, I think if Sza had to pick between you and me.

[Drew Phillips]

It would. She might pick me.

[Kai]

I think she might be.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, because you're such a Pick me. You're a pick.

[Josiah]

Exactly. You're that girl. I knew you were.

[Anya]

No, she's not.

[Josiah]

Very classy. Lady.

[Drew Phillips]

Lady. Wait, what? Kai.

[Anya]

No, she's not. Any. Is not a pick me.

[Kai]

Thank you.

[Anya]

She's.

[Josiah]

Kai is the ultimate pick.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

Kai is actually, like, every time anyone's getting clowned, he's like, no, you're not.

[Drew Phillips]

Notice how he hasn't done it to you yet?

[Josiah]

Exactly.

[Kai]

Well, no, because he doesn't like you. So actually. What? You're sexy. You're projecting again because you're defensive. Kai's very loving and caring soul, but when he is targeted so viciously by someone as evil as you, why would I defend you?

[Anya]

We have sexual beef.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, true.

[Josiah]

What does that mean, dude?

[Drew Phillips]

Just beef.

[Anya]

I'm not gonna explain.

[Kai]

Beef.

[Drew Phillips]

Beef. Well, the reason Ellen is so rich is because she saved money on editors.

[Josiah]

The up.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, let's talk about it. Spray on. Talk about it, Mr. Spray On.

[Josiah]

Like, that is not funny to anyone else.

[Kai]

No, it's awesome. And it. It's. It's so, so sad because it really is one of those moments that I wish was recorded so you guys could see. See how silly it was. But we were all in, like, 2018, 2019, sitting on the couch, really hungover, just, like, watching Ellen clips as one does. And we were just sitting, like. I don't know why.

[Drew Phillips]

We were watching the Ellen games.

[Josiah]

It was the game of games where she was a big villain and hitting a button and, like, killing.

[Drew Phillips]

Killing people. Right. It was so crazy.

[Kai]

And we were watching that, and we were all dead silent. And then Josie goes. The editing on this is horrible. That's probably why she's a millionaire because she saves so much money on editors.

[Josiah]

Well, what really said was this. The editing on this is horrible. I probably said that. And then I said that's why she's so rich is because she doesn't spend jack on editors.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. Jack on Editors.

[Kai]

I've never.

[Drew Phillips]

And I've never. I've never felt more uncomfortable in my life than when that came out of Josiah's mouth. It shut everyone up in the craziest way. And then we were playing Jackbox tv. Or. Wait, what is it?

[Josiah]

It's Snatch Game.

[Drew Phillips]

Snatch.

[Josiah]

No, no, it's Quip Lash.

[Drew Phillips]

Quip Lash. We were playing Quip Lash. And, like, we used to take that so seriously. We would play it, like, every night for hours and hours and hours. And, like, it was just, like, basically one big performance for whoever wins. Like, I won every time, basically. But anyways, that's.

[Kai]

Yeah, that's not true.

[Drew Phillips]

It's very. It is very.

[Josiah]

Did win a lot, though.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah.

[Kai]

I think you and Josie won the mo.

[Josiah]

No, no, it was always Lucas and Josh. They won.

[Drew Phillips]

No, that was without me playing. When I was guys, I won a lot, too.

[Kai]

I feel like I only really won when I was high and I wasn't thinking about my answers.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. Ye. Yeah.

[Kai]

Yeah. And then anytime I was playing it sober, I was so in my head and trying so hard to win it.

[Drew Phillips]

It was. And you could tell, like, when people were trying too hard. And then you could tell when people were just, like, trying to not be funny by trying to not be fun. I don't know. It was such a. It's psychological warfare. But anyways, we were playing around, and it was like one of the first times we hung out with Josiah, like, top five. And one of the answers or one of the questions was like, finish this. Since spray on with a new invention.

[Josiah]

Like, come up with a new invention that starts with spray on.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. So, like, there's so many avenues you can go down.

[Josiah]

Spray on pants, spray on shirt, spray on hair.

[Kai]

But Josiah decided, technically, spray on hair exists. Like, look at Kai.

[Anya]

Okay, that's not true.

[Kai]

Sorry.

[Anya]

That's so fucked up.

[Kai]

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. If it makes you feel any better, I'm gonna.

[Josiah]

If you ever.

[Drew Phillips]

No, no, say it.

[Kai]

I'm gonna start taking Minoxidil because my hair is thinning. So I'm projecting onto it.

[Josiah]

If y' all women out there, if you ever.

[Kai]

My hair is not thinning. I was lying.

[Josiah]

If you really want to hurt a man, like, at his core, bring up his hair.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, that's all.

[Anya]

Clock the hairline.

[Josiah]

Block the hairline. Clock the thinning hair, because other than that, men have nothing.

[Kai]

Also, I want to make.

[Josiah]

Where they don't wear makeup.

[Kai]

Where. Oh, where?

[Drew Phillips]

Reduced hairline wear.

[Josiah]

If I showed mine right now, would be crazy.

[Kai]

Fell asleep. We were watching All Stars, and I was making fun of what's her name? The one. Oh, Roxy Andrews. I was, like, making fun of Roxy Andrews hairline because she has, like, bleach blonde hair outside of that wig. And, like, it goes so far back, and it looks like it's breaking. Which. God bless. Like, I don't want to make fun of Roxy Andrews.

[Josiah]

I think I love. Yeah.

[Kai]

But, like, I was just, like, high and, like, making fun of it. And then Josie was like, don't even start. Don't start. And I was up close to the tv taking a picture, and I turned, and Josie had all his hair pulled back. And we stood in the living room in, like, dead silence.

[Josiah]

All is coming from inside the house. Finally, someone was honest with the nna, was like, oh, you need to get on Minoxidil.

[Drew Phillips]

I told you before you.

[Josiah]

Yeah. But Anya was, like, very, like, brutal. Just, like, it was silent. You need to get on that because I have my hair pulled back. I have tension alopecia.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. No, it is that. It really is.

[Kai]

I have attention alopecia. Alopecia. Like, I'm losing attention as I get older.

[Drew Phillips]

You do look like JoJo Siwa.

[Josiah]

Don't.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay, like, actually, you do.

[Josiah]

I'd rather have Jeffrey.

[Anya]

Josiah, you do look like JoJo Siwa. Andrew, you look like a prince.

[Drew Phillips]

And.

[Anya]

And like a handsome prince.

[Drew Phillips]

And Kai, you look like Jeffrey Dahmer.

[Anya]

What? Well.

[Josiah]

Oh, Kai looks like David Dober.

[Anya]

Well, is it. Wasn't Jeffrey Dahmer kind of sexy? No, he wasn't.

[Drew Phillips]

No, he was a baddie.

[Anya]

Which one was a baddie?

[Josiah]

The one who played him.

[Drew Phillips]

The Night Slasher.

[Josiah]

Evan Peters. Oh, yeah. I can't remember his name. Rick James.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm a Rick James super freak. Okay, I didn't finish, but anyways, Josiah's answer was spray on. And it shifted reality. I like, but it was. It was literally one of those moments. You just had to.

[Kai]

Also, we didn't know each other that well, so it really came.

[Drew Phillips]

It was the first bond.

[Josiah]

Oh, you didn't need to know me that well. Y' all went in on me.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kai]

It was payback. Because you were so mean when we first met, which we've talked about before. And I've let go of. I've let go of that, but, you.

[Josiah]

Know, it wasn't genuine. Genuinely mean.

[Kai]

When I met Josiah, it was the year my mom died. And I told him he was. I don't know how we got.

[Josiah]

That's not my problem.

[Kai]

And I said. And I said, oh, yeah, my mom died this year. And he goes, okay.

[Drew Phillips]

And I thought you were joking.

[Josiah]

One and two. Also, you like. I don't know. You like, that's not my problem. I'm sorry.

[Drew Phillips]

That's horrible.

[Josiah]

Like, that as we just met.

[Kai]

Yeah, well, I think I only said.

[Josiah]

It because you were being made a yo mama joke.

[Kai]

Oh, yeah.

[Josiah]

Which is also like, okay, like, you're the one to be like, actually, my mom's dead.

[Kai]

Yeah, well, you were being mean as to me.

[Josiah]

I don't remember that.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay, well, I have a note saying, crying at all of my toxic ex girlfriends that are. That I cheated on making tiktoks about me. Lol. Y' all are so desperate. Get over it.

[Josiah]

You don't have a girlfriend.

[Drew Phillips]

Sza. Hello. I cheated on her.

[Josiah]

With who?

[Drew Phillips]

You were making music.

[Kai]

Drew, you spent 20 minutes of this episode. Episode. Convincing us she was your girlfriend, but now you're saying you've been cheating on her?

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, that's why she makes all the good music.

[Kai]

Oh, so I guess you're doing it to benefit, like, the audience.

[Drew Phillips]

Yes, exactly. I'm for the people.

[Josiah]

Exactly.

[Kai]

Yes.

[Drew Phillips]

Well, yes. Also, I know I've been, like, teasing a lot recently that I've been reading the Bible. Well, I decided to join a church, and I'm gonna. I. I joined Westboro Baptist Church.

[Josiah]

No, Drew, you can't join there. You really.

[Drew Phillips]

Actually, I'm really proud. Proud.

[Anya]

Drew, did you do any research before making that decision, or, like.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kai]

If they look you up, they might.

[Drew Phillips]

Know exactly what they do.

[Josiah]

Oh, you know exactly what they do?

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

With the signs.

[Drew Phillips]

Yes.

[Anya]

Okay.

[Kai]

They're probably gonna kick you out if they look you up online, though.

[Drew Phillips]

A straight man that is sexy hot with a very defined jawline.

[Kai]

Wait, what's that?

[Anya]

I literally agree with everything you just said.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, thank you.

[Kai]

But y' all are dating. Dating. I'm so confused.

[Anya]

Yeah, we're dating.

[Drew Phillips]

He beats it up so bad about Westboro Baptist Church.

[Josiah]

Like, they. That's.

[Kai]

Honestly. That was such a crazy era. Like, them getting on vine and singing that. Do you know what we're talking about? Yeah, like, them singing. That was crazy.

[Josiah]

But you have to admit, iconic.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

I mean, it has stood the test of time. If you just sing God hates. Anybody can finish that.

[Kai]

I'm, like, curious if that'll ever.

[Drew Phillips]

Not anybody. Not anybody.

[Kai]

I'm curious if it'll make a run back to Tik Tok.

[Josiah]

Like, I'm shocked that it has.

[Drew Phillips]

No, they're there.

[Josiah]

I've seen it on Tik Tok.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm actually the social media manager for Westboro Baptist.

[Kai]

Oh, do you ref.

[Drew Phillips]

All of the videos were me. They were my work.

[Kai]

Oh, wow. You're actually really good.

[Josiah]

Are you?

[Kai]

Could manage, like, Charlie d' Amelio or something now with that kind of, like, I do portfolio. You do?

[Josiah]

Are you, like, infiltrating from within with them or something?

[Drew Phillips]

Like, asleep or so.

[Josiah]

Yeah, no, I like fighting the fighting enemy.

[Kai]

Yeah. Like, you're going to. You're going to, like, get in so he could be like, guys, like, it's okay. Like, you don't have to be so hateful.

[Drew Phillips]

I like the hate.

[Josiah]

Oh, no. All right, all right.

[Drew Phillips]

It's giving low. Anthony, stop. Okay, well, Lyme's disease is in for 2024, and it's Zachary's disease.

[Josiah]

I don't know what that is, but that's an interesting name for it. What if it's, like, a really bad.

[Kai]

I saw somebody on Tick Tock who had a tick in their hair.

[Josiah]

They're so gross.

[Drew Phillips]

Have you Ever popped one? Have you ever got bit by them or have one?

[Josiah]

We're not from Texas.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay.

[Kai]

Yeah, we're from, like, normal places with buildings and, like, ocean elevators.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, wait, y' all did both?

[Kai]

When's the first time you got in an elevator? Like, probably not till you moved to la.

[Drew Phillips]

No, I actually have a very visceral or.

[Anya]

Keep going. You got this.

[Drew Phillips]

I have a very vivid visceral memory of being in an elevator for the first time. And it was. My mom was Christmas shopping, and I don't think she thought I was sentient yet. And I remember her going into the back of the trunk to get her purse, and I saw all the presents in the back, but she was taking me and Madeline to a doctor's appointment, and I remember being in the elevator on the way up and being in the waiting room room and playing with the, like, classic doctor office. Like, toy where you, like, make the balls drop.

[Josiah]

No, I know what you're talking about.

[Kai]

Y' all were playing with balls at the doctor.

[Josiah]

Stop playing.

[Kai]

That's crazy.

[Anya]

Also, I just want to. I want to celebrate Drew's lexicon. He just said sentient and visceral, and I think that's so cool.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, thank you. I don't feel like I get enough recognition on my vocabulary.

[Josiah]

Can you spell those words?

[Drew Phillips]

No.

[Kai]

He has to say it to his iPhone.

[Josiah]

I hear Drew from the other side of the house constantly. Be, like, walking Drew, walking. Or excited.

[Kai]

He'll be like, nauseous.

[Drew Phillips]

Well, no. Spell nauseous right now. Yeah. Don't play with me.

[Josiah]

I can't spelling.

[Anya]

Be captain I. I can't, but I'm actually. I'm sure you could if you tried.

[Drew Phillips]

Any A, U, S, C, I, O, U, s. Probably right.

[Anya]

You're so.

[Drew Phillips]

I didn't.

[Josiah]

You put an I in there.

[Drew Phillips]

I didn't put an I. Nauseous.

[Kai]

Nauseous and nauseous. I feel like that's one of those words. I just have to start typing it, and my brain somewhere in the back just has that kind of information. Like.

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Like, if I'm writing something down, there are a lot of words I can just spell if my hands start doing the work, because it's like muscle memory. But if I have to do it in person, I can't.

[Josiah]

That's how I feel. Making your mama squirt is like, josiah.

[Drew Phillips]

Josiah. I swear to God. I was gonna say trying to make.

[Kai]

My mom squirt would be like going to the dune set and trying to make water show up.

[Drew Phillips]

It would be like, this It'd be like this. Like a dust. Dust cloud. Okay.

[Josiah]

This is what we're about.

[Kai]

Talking.

[Drew Phillips]

I just have this saved for some reason. I don't know why I saved it in my notes.

[Kai]

Because you want to do that again?

[Drew Phillips]

Is that what it was?

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

Why don't you do your.

[Kai]

Oh, okay. Wait. Oh, yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

It is time. It is time. Oh, a vibrator downloaded the vibrating. I downloaded the vibrator app.

[Kai]

Sorry, guys, Wait. I have a really good idea, because your month is coming up, so if you want to do something fun with your hair, we could do highlights of color.

[Josiah]

Oh, yeah, the month.

[Drew Phillips]

Month.

[Josiah]

June.

[Kai]

Month, too.

[Josiah]

Just true.

[Anya]

Body is tea.

[Drew Phillips]

Wait, is body right now?

[Anya]

No, body is absolutely.

[Kai]

Body is fart.

[Josiah]

Body is coffee. So it's not tea. Body is boba.

[Drew Phillips]

Body is milk. Okay, well, so since the stand up killed in the TMG episode, in our episode, I decided I was gonna write some more stand up. And I don't know if it's as good as last week, but I have, like, a solid two minutes, maybe three of stand up.

[Kai]

That's too long.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay. How old do you have to be to buy alcohol?

[Kai]

21.

[Drew Phillips]

This is like the divine humor part.

[Kai]

Divine humor.

[Josiah]

Divine, masculine. Divine humor.

[Drew Phillips]

Divine feminine. No, divine. Why are there so many chickens crossing the road? Look at all those chickens. And why am I so hungry all of a sudden?

[Kai]

Okay, you know, it's fucked up. It's like Drew sat next to me, like, 10 minutes.

[Josiah]

He read them to me yesterday.

[Drew Phillips]

So Inyako wrote this one in the dare program. They taught me about weed, meth, and heroin, but they never taught me about pornography. Porn.

[Kai]

Because Drew's addicted to porn.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. Okay. Money makes me feel like a pirate sometimes. I want more. I'm getting into the accent.

[Kai]

Wait, I don't think, like, pirates say that.

[Drew Phillips]

No, they like the booty.

[Kai]

They say org, but they don't say, I want more.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, it could be. It could be like, I want more. The booty. The booty. I want more booty. I want more booty. That's you be when you shut the up. Okay, Every time I turn on the light in my house, I get scared because I see Anya naked.

[Kai]

That's been you anything that I'm, like, always naked.

[Josiah]

One originally was icy Anya hd, and I was like, please change it to IC and ya naked.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay, this is a good one. Lesbian. More like the good good. I want to be friends with all of them.

[Josiah]

Lesbian, like in Spanish.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, I cooked y' all.

[Kai]

Dude, that one was really crazy.

[Josiah]

Okay, they're Good. I want to be friends with all of them. They will laugh about it even.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay, this is a callback to earlier in the episode. Gucci. More like Gooch makes me say E because it smells so bad. Oh, by the way, why do I get so scared to eat in front of the workers at Gucci? Oh, I know why. They always make me feel bad about eating their shoes. Like, have y' all ever tried leather, cork, and rubber? It's a godly combination. Near scare me cuz Kai stands in front of them naked and they break.

[Josiah]

Never go in the bathroom with Kai.

[Drew Phillips]

Exactly.

[Josiah]

Unless you want cuts all over your body. It'll shatter.

[Drew Phillips]

It'll explode. It doesn't just shatter.

[Kai]

Like, it's gonna, like, burst at you.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay. Witches are always brewing their potions and shit and saying things like, I want to cook all the bad kids in the world in a cauldron. And Enya is ugly like a witch.

[Anya]

Okay.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay, okay, okay.

[Kai]

Oh, wait, there's more.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Did you help write that one? Did I?

[Drew Phillips]

No, I wrote that one. And, yeah, it's ugly. Monogamy is overrated. Who just wants to have sex with one person? Y' all are crazy people. I want to have sex with at least 200 people.

[Kai]

At least 200.

[Drew Phillips]

And that is the stand up.

[Kai]

Wow, that was actually good.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, we'll need to add, like. Drew, stand up.

[Kai]

Why do you. You sing all of your little things in the same key.

[Drew Phillips]

Well, then how would you do it?

[Kai]

You don't need to sing.

[Drew Phillips]

Josiah, sing Drew, stand up. No, Kai, sing Drew, stand up.

[Anya]

I'm not doing that.

[Drew Phillips]

What the.

[Kai]

Yeah, we're all.

[Josiah]

You have ops.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, my God, y' all. Zach, sting Drew, stink up. Drew, stand up. See, I have one person on my side. One person on my side.

[Anya]

I'm not going to sing it, but I did laugh so hard that I actually pissed myself a little bit.

[Drew Phillips]

Did you save it?

[Kai]

Fergie pissing her pants literally made me crack up.

[Josiah]

Please can y' all answer that?

[Drew Phillips]

Wait, hold on. Did you save it for me? Cuz you were supposed to save that for me.

[Anya]

Oh, yeah, no, it's an amazing.

[Kai]

You could suck on the cotton.

[Anya]

Oh.

[Josiah]

Ew.

[Drew Phillips]

Cocking. What's the Fergie video? I didn't see it.

[Josiah]

It's not a video. You remember that picture of her where she's singing like this?

[Drew Phillips]

She pissed.

[Josiah]

Or someone say she talked about it. She confirmed.

[Drew Phillips]

They would talk about it even. Those were the most footsteps sounding footsteps I've ever heard.

[Josiah]

No, I didn't know we were in The Foley Studio.

[Anya]

No. Is this real?

[Drew Phillips]

I want to be a Foley artist. I want to be a Foley artist so bad.

[Kai]

When Fergie peed her pants while performing let's get it started in 2005, I'm running on stage.

[Drew Phillips]

Let's get it started. More like, let's get it farted. Hey, sorry, I. I didn't write that one down. I just. I'm trying, like, improv.

[Kai]

Yeah, don't do that. When Fergie Peter pants while performing let's get it started 2005, I'm running on stage, and we jump and do let's Get It Started. And I get crazy. Crazy. And I jump and I run across the stage, and my adrenaline was going, and, gosh, I wish it didn't happen. I was so embarrassed. Like, also, that being her statement. Like, the interviewer who asked her that question is so up. What else is she supposed to say? Like, her being like. So I was.

[Josiah]

I want an audio recording of that interview of them being like, so did you pee yourself on stage?

[Kai]

So can you explain this photo?

[Drew Phillips]

They would be about it even.

[Kai]

She should have just said she started her period. That's would have been my. But I guess it was not red, y' all. When she said she squirted, she was so happy. And then she could have made a sexy vibe.

[Drew Phillips]

Brainstorm.

[Josiah]

Green needle.

[Drew Phillips]

Laurel.

[Kai]

Laurel.

[Drew Phillips]

Yanny.

[Josiah]

Yanny. Yanny.

[Drew Phillips]

Laurel.

[Kai]

Okay, let's get into.

[Drew Phillips]

Is the dress black or blue or white and gold?

[Josiah]

It's white and gold. And that man tried to kill his wife.

[Drew Phillips]

I saw that.

[Josiah]

Saw that.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, Me.

[Josiah]

But you know what? Honestly, when I saw that, I was like, I don't care. Did he kill his wife? No. He tried to. I don't give.

[Drew Phillips]

I've tried to kill y' all, like, at least.

[Josiah]

Yeah, like, that's not interesting to me at all.

[Drew Phillips]

I. I get dry ice, and I put it in a bucket in Yalls room, and I try to fill it up with carbon dioxide.

[Josiah]

What the.

[Drew Phillips]

So y' all suffocate in your sleep?

[Kai]

Well, I hit my puff so many times. That's gonna take a lot more than that to, like, suffocate me.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, true.

[Josiah]

Also, I want to make this. I. I recently watched some of the guest episodes. Right. And I'm the only guest. You guys don't have any questions for me? You don't. You.

[Drew Phillips]

Just because you're an extension of us.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

Well, what. What do you. You don't.

[Drew Phillips]

You.

[Josiah]

But you never have any questions for.

[Kai]

Me where you're like, yeah, I have A question. When are you gonna start fucking paying rent since you stay at our house so much? Yeah, that's my question for you.

[Josiah]

Okay. I'm not the one who, like, when I'm leaving, you guys, like, beg me to stay. Right? Right.

[Drew Phillips]

It's because we get alone. Like, because me and in are essentially, like, the same person at this point. So, like, we get alone with our thoughts, and it's like talking to a mirror.

[Kai]

Well, look how scary we look in this. We look like we do meth. Like, we look like a really scary dude.

[Josiah]

I saw that, and I do. Not with that.

[Drew Phillips]

Put that on the episode.

[Kai]

Dude. Look at us in this picture.

[Drew Phillips]

Was that at Coachella when I wore the.

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

The Hot Cheetos rebrand is horrible.

[Josiah]

They did a rebrand?

[Drew Phillips]

Yes. The bags are horrible. They did. Don't. If it ain't broke, don't fix it, because it looks terrible. And I haven't bought Hot Cheetos since because the packaging is horrible.

[Josiah]

That movie was really good, though. Apparently, people loved it, and it was super good.

[Drew Phillips]

Was Ryan Reynolds in it?

[Josiah]

No. I was joking.

[Drew Phillips]

Apparently, it was Ryan Reynolds. No, actually, never mind. You should talk about. Look at the new rebrand. Looks terrible.

[Josiah]

Wait, what's the new one?

[Drew Phillips]

So the new one just looks like that triple extra hot. No, it's.

[Kai]

So I guess. Yeah, the new one looks like it's the extra, extra hot one.

[Drew Phillips]

It's. Oh.

[Josiah]

Which would make me be like, oh, those are probably really hot.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, exactly. And I don't want that. Like, I want the old bag where it was.

[Kai]

Like, why? The, like, the. The real, like, picture of it that they put on the bag.

[Drew Phillips]

It's pixelated.

[Kai]

Insane.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, it's horrible.

[Josiah]

How did they get a cheetah to be holding them? That's kind of interesting.

[Drew Phillips]

Cartoon, Josiah. That is a cartoon.

[Josiah]

I think it's Holly. Weird. They drugged the cheetah.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay. The last thing I want to talk about is, when I was very young, I wanted to be a rapper really badly. Like, I'm not kidding. I wanted to be, like, the next Eminem. Like, I really, like, I wanted to so badly, and I had.

[Kai]

You can't write on a beat to save your life. Like, that was.

[Drew Phillips]

Hold on. Let's talk about the pink dot lyric and the world getting smushed.

[Kai]

You can barely do it.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay, but I can write on a beat. Like, I can write the notes.

[Kai]

The notes that you'd write.

[Drew Phillips]

Josiah, can I write on the beat? Tell me. I don't fucking cook.

[Josiah]

Sometimes you can.

[Drew Phillips]

No. Most of the Time. Because look at. Look at all of the footage. I'm the one planting the seeds. And the idea is, I think.

[Josiah]

I think you have good ideas. I think just when you're actually getting on the mic, it gets kind of difficult for you sometimes. That's the truth.

[Kai]

Scared of it.

[Josiah]

It's not a bad thing.

[Kai]

I'm not even making fun of you too, because I'm like, no, better.

[Josiah]

It's not you guys job.

[Drew Phillips]

No, true, true, true, true, true. I'm not actually. No, I'm genuinely not.

[Kai]

He. No. He asked if he could sing on the next Greer album and Jesse was like.

[Drew Phillips]

I mean, like, I did not actually get offended. You're like, you're shifting my real. Well, no.

[Josiah]

What actually happened?

[Kai]

Someone's like, you're shifting my reality.

[Drew Phillips]

You are shifting my reality. Literally. What is it, diarrhea or. No, diorama.

[Anya]

Reality distortion.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, Reality distortion.

[Josiah]

Diarrhea also. Yeah. New girl album coming.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. Oh, that's what we wanted to ask.

[Josiah]

Oh, yeah, that's.

[Drew Phillips]

I actually want to ask you about that. How's the process been recording that Al album? Ask you question?

[Josiah]

No, it's been good.

[Kai]

They're so bad when you.

[Josiah]

Please don't. There's not much left.

[Drew Phillips]

Chick fil A sauce.

[Josiah]

Oh, no. Chick fil? A sauce. A lemonade. No, it's going good, though. The boys are happy. Everyone's being fed and it's probably not going to come out for a while, so I don't even know what I'm talking about it. Maybe there will be a single. Maybe the whole album will come out this year. I'm not acknowledging that. You're saying we can tell when you're saying that. I'm. I'm eating because you're eating.

[Kai]

Like you're always eating because you're so good.

[Josiah]

Because my figure is great. I feel amazing about it and I like what I see when I look in the mirror.

[Drew Phillips]

Distortion.

[Josiah]

Maybe I have Ed Zachary disease.

[Kai]

Well, I asked if I could sing on the album and he said, maybe that. I just want to put that.

[Drew Phillips]

And then I asked if I could sing on the album and he said, absolutely not.

[Josiah]

Well, because it's like, Drew, you don't have a singing voice like that.

[Kai]

And then Drew was like, yeah, well, like a song. If you put me on a song and get like 3 million, 4 million.

[Drew Phillips]

Realized I was doing a bit well. Yes. Okay. Well, India doesn't.

[Kai]

I do.

[Drew Phillips]

Because you were saying it was. I was actually offended.

[Josiah]

I am.

[Drew Phillips]

Because you're shifting my reality. You're shifting your Reality. Making it sound like to the rest of them that I was.

[Josiah]

Was that he was pressed. When in reality, Anya was the one who got mad last night when I touched her screen all funky and then her was all up.

[Kai]

Because my car, like. Like, audio AUX system sucks ass. And it's insane. If you get in the car and you touch the screen and, like, with it before you let it, like, just start up and do its thing, the aux doesn't work. Like, it can't connect to anything. And Josiah got it and started.

[Drew Phillips]

Well, now I know you're weak.

[Josiah]

Yeah. Maybe you shouldn't have bought a piece of shit car.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Okay. Says.

[Josiah]

I drive a nice, sensible Honda Civic.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay, well, anyways, I wanted to be a rapper really, really badly. And there was this one beat that I listened to all the time. I would literally listen to it, like, unironically all the time. Just, like, thinking thoughts in my head. And I'm about to show you.

[Kai]

Get this out of Wire. Laughing. I wasn't gonna say to the camera guy. I. I was gonna say, okay, says Mr. No Hair.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, no.

[Kai]

Mr. No Hair is so much.

[Josiah]

You are not winning the crazy battles. I am winning the crazy battle.

[Drew Phillips]

This beat truly, truly, like, shifted everything for me.

[Kai]

I know what it is.

[Josiah]

It's a joker beat, bro. Hey, I got some reality in the worst way. Wrap my verse. I got so many dicks up. We recorded the three of us, which. This probably came full circle for you, Drew.

[Drew Phillips]

It was a very important.

[Josiah]

We recorded this song.

[Drew Phillips]

Brought the beat to y' all.

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, it was, like, a very real thing. Like, it felt really good. What was my verse?

[Kai]

It was the worst vibe ever. Like, we all were so tired.

[Drew Phillips]

It was like dicks up in my butt.

[Josiah]

That was mine. Yours. I feel like. Was. Was it the dinosaur finger line?

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, it was.

[Josiah]

I'm fingering your mom.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, yeah. Ah.

[Josiah]

I'm fingering your mom. I got a dinosaur finger. It was, like, the worst. The worst thing I've ever heard in my life.

[Drew Phillips]

Do you have it on your phone?

[Josiah]

No, I have it on my computer.

[Drew Phillips]

We should outro it with this song if we can.

[Kai]

Yeah, we'll think about it, because I think I'm evil in that song. Did my evil side.

[Anya]

I have just, like, if you want to ask Josiah a legitimate question, I have legitimate question for him.

[Kai]

Oh, my God.

[Anya]

Like, podcast vibes.

[Kai]

Yeah. What?

[Anya]

Like, are you good? Are you okay?

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, my God. No.

[Anya]

Yeah. Answer.

[Josiah]

Are you first name? Are you last name?

[Drew Phillips]

I actually love seeing y' all.

[Anya]

No, no, no, no, no, Seriously, like, you feel good?

[Josiah]

Yeah, I'm good.

[Anya]

Okay, then why would you destroy someone's relationship? I guess it's just my question.

[Josiah]

Whose relationship?

[Kai]

That's an illegitimate relationship.

[Josiah]

Wait, wait, wait. Was it your mother and your father? When I fucked your mama for 10 years like a fucking animal, did you?

[Kai]

Seriously, did you?

[Josiah]

I fucked her crazy.

[Anya]

Like years like an animal.

[Josiah]

Huh.

[Anya]

Did you actually do that?

[Josiah]

Oh, yeah, no. Since I've been 13.

[Anya]

I don't even. I didn't even know. I didn't even know about that. You're ruining my life.

[Drew Phillips]

Sorry.

[Kai]

All right. Do you have Psyop Corner?

[Drew Phillips]

Yes, but I have to find them first.

[Kai]

I'm going to do media.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, wait, a Walmart Ex Drew collab. I'm not kidding.

[Josiah]

I've got that email before and I.

[Drew Phillips]

Was like, I want Walmart.

[Kai]

I want Walmart.

[Josiah]

They wanted me to go into a Walmart and, like, take pictures with.

[Drew Phillips]

And I was like, that's crazy.

[Kai]

Well, my media of the week is choked by the cardigans. Nothing will t change my mind. Text crick laughing the Guess who? Ventura Highway America and George Martin and what's not.

[Josiah]

Also, that's like one of my favorite songs on that record. Choke.

[Kai]

I know.

[Josiah]

And I feel like everyone hates it.

[Kai]

No, I feel like it's one of the best ones. It's great and Sexy to Someone by Claro.

[Drew Phillips]

I like the new Billy. Billie Eilish, Josiah. Do your media.

[Josiah]

My media. Let me think. The movie. Movie. That movie that I saw.

[Kai]

What movie did you see?

[Josiah]

That one. The one movie. I don't know. I. I wasn't prepared for this.

[Drew Phillips]

The meme account is actually going so viral right now. Like, I went from getting like one to two likes on every post to nine, four, seven.

[Kai]

Well, I also did go through and like 18,000.

[Josiah]

Oh, it's dark lady by.

[Kai]

Oh, isn't that the one that what's her nuts couldn't sing Mirage got sent home on?

[Josiah]

Actually, such a good song. And that one Dusty Springfield song. You guys can figure it out.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay, so.

[Josiah]

Oh, and still baby reindeer. I'm still. That's still my media.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay, Drew, sigh up there. I opened two gifts this morning. They were my eyes. Thank you, Lord. Westboro has changed me.

[Kai]

Shut the up. That's your only media?

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, group Breastfeeding starts in 10 minutes. This is more of a visual one, so I'm going to send it your pants.

[Kai]

Oh, that's a good joke.

[Drew Phillips]

Select multiple.

[Kai]

Are we going to get to play Fortnite or do you have to go?

[Josiah]

I don't know, cuz I don't want to deal with the traffic. Maybe if we have a little bit of.

[Drew Phillips]

All right, everybody check your phones. I'll show you guys. Josiah, since you have. I wish it's an island where I belong.

[Josiah]

Oh, freak island.

[Drew Phillips]

That's like kind of my place.

[Kai]

Is that where you're from?

[Josiah]

I think that's. Yeah, that's Epstein's. I silent.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, it is. Wait, who the is in the car with Kim Kardashian and Davidson? Yeah, hold on. Who the is that? See, I'm not kidding. Who is that?

[Kai]

It's me.

[Drew Phillips]

I think it's Kai in the back. I think it's Kai in the back seat.

[Kai]

Kai. Kai.

[Anya]

There's no way that you guys seriously think that's me, bro.

[Kai]

Dude, that is. Is that not you?

[Anya]

No, no, that's not me.

[Kai]

Cuz right now you're serving like you got your beat done by, like, makeup by Ariel before you got here. And this might be like on and off.

[Anya]

300 year old person in the back.

[Kai]

Of the car also, for a second I was like, wait, is that real? Why is he there?

[Drew Phillips]

No, no, no, no, no. Okay. My media is baby Kia. Kai, what was that meat computer song you sent me? I really like that one. One.

[Anya]

Oh, let me. Let me find it.

[Drew Phillips]

Actually, I have the album right here. There's morning again.

[Anya]

Shut down entirely.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, shut down entirely. And then I've already said burial like a hundred times, but untrue is just like my vibe. Oh, go, go.

[Josiah]

You guys do need my help.

[Drew Phillips]

No, you did not.

[Josiah]

Dude. I'm the opposite of super.

[Kai]

The hands with it.

[Drew Phillips]

You do need my help.

[Kai]

You were doing last night, you were like.

[Josiah]

So you guys do need my help. This is unacceptable. I'm the opposite of super nanny with this podcast. I come like every few months and I fuck it up.

[Drew Phillips]

You shift our reality, our views tank.

[Kai]

What were you saying? You're altering my reality. No, because you're altering my reality.

[Drew Phillips]

Shifting my reality. Altering my reality. I don't remember anymore.

[Josiah]

All right, well, also, am I attractive? Let me know in the comments below because it's been freaking me out lately.

[Kai]

You are attractive. Active.

[Josiah]

I don't think so.

[Kai]

My. You're beautiful.

[Drew Phillips]

You're beautiful.

[Anya]

This is what I say. I'll wrap it up with this. Drew only smashes tens, so if he's hitting that.

[Kai]

Oh, my God.

[Josiah]

Not hitting this.

[Anya]

Oh, what are you talking about? What the. I'm losing my mind. Over the top.

[Kai]

Oh, okay. There's peace. There's still peace.

[Drew Phillips]

We in the gym. I was just like screaming, I'm not a twink. I'm not a twink. Just for like 15 minutes straight and, and scaring everybody in there.

[Josiah]

And there was this creepazoid sitting in the corner. Cuz there's like a seat that no one sits on in the locker room.

[Kai]

There's always.

[Josiah]

And he was like, he like looked at Junior, like looked at me. He was like. And I was like, you're a creep. Sitting there for 30 minutes in the locker room watching all the guys looking.

[Kai]

At him and judging him as if Drew isn't in the hallways yelling, I'm not a twink. I'm not a twink. I'm not a twink. Like he got stuck on loop.

[Josiah]

Self.

[Kai]

And I just don't get defensive over Bazinga.

[Josiah]

Bazinga.

[Drew Phillips]

All right, does anybody watch Young Shell?

[Kai]

Guys? Thank you guys so much for watching.

[Ryan Seacrest]

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