Enya Is Still A 1D Stan

Summary

Emergency Intercom: Episode Summary - "Enya Is Still A 1D Stan"

Release Date: June 10, 2022
Hosts: Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips
Description: Emergency Intercom is a comedy podcast by Enya and Drew, blending humor with personal anecdotes and pop culture references. In this episode, titled "Enya Is Still A 1D Stan," the hosts delve into their experiences with fandoms, personal mishaps, and everyday humor.

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1. Humorous Beginnings and Banter (00:00 - 02:00)

The episode kicks off with light-hearted banter between Drew and Enya, setting a playful tone. They joke about misunderstandings and the use of slang, highlighting their quick-witted dynamic.

• Drew: “I just have all this information in my brain constantly because I'm super paranoid.” [03:10]
• Enya: “Drew's having his unspiked can. That's his cup of joe.” [01:42]

2. The Gas Leak Fiasco (02:00 - 10:05)

Enya recounts a recent panic when Drew suspected a natural gas leak in their home. The story unfolds with comedic exaggeration as Drew describes his paranoid anticipation of an explosion.

• Drew: “I was expecting my house to explode into shrapnel and wood...” [04:29]
• Enya: “Drew is so annoying. Like, two weeks ago, I was out with our friends, and he was like...” [03:02]

The conversation touches on the importance of home safety measures, with Enya expressing frustration over Drew's dramatic response.

3. Navigating Self Taping and Acting Challenges (10:05 - 17:00)

The hosts transition to discussing their attempts at self-taping for acting roles. Enya shares her struggles with memorizing lines, while Drew humorously admits to confusing words during rehearsals.

• Drew: “I just yelled it into my phone because I'm like, one, I don't want to type all that shit out.” [05:50]
• Enya: “I had all these hopes because it was the both of us doing it.” [13:18]

They reflect on their lack of professional acting experience and the humorous outcomes of their efforts.

4. One Direction Fandom and Stan Culture (17:00 - 29:00)

Enya opens up about her enduring fandom for One Direction, discussing the emotional support and community she found within the stan culture. They explore the impact of fandoms on personal lives and relationships.

• Enya: “It genuinely did, like, save my life in a lot of ways.” [28:19]
• Drew: “I love Stan culture.” [29:10]

The conversation highlights both the positive and challenging aspects of being a dedicated fan.

5. Tipping Etiquette and Social Interactions (29:00 - 46:00)

A segment on tipping culture ensues, with Enya and Drew sharing their experiences and philosophies on tipping service workers. They humorously debate the societal expectations and personal discomforts related to tipping.

• Enya: “I give everyone tips because I'm like, I really like you.” [46:33]
• Drew: “I don't tip. I don't tip.” [46:41]

This discussion underscores their contrasting approaches to social norms and generosity.

6. Personal Confessions: Singing and Family Dynamics (46:00 - 57:00)

Drew reflects on his childhood experiences with singing, revealing how family teasing impacted his confidence. Enya empathizes by sharing her own experiences with encouraging and critiquing siblings.

• Drew: “I was traumatized into not having a good singing voice.” [55:31]
• Enya: “I made fun of my little sister for wanting to be a singer.” [55:41]

These candid moments add depth to their comedic interactions, showcasing vulnerability behind the humor.

7. Fashion, Nostalgia, and Trends (57:00 - 66:00)

The hosts discuss fashion trends, particularly the resurgence of nostalgic styles like One Direction merch and galaxy print leggings. They humorously critique the commercialization of nostalgia in modern capitalism.

• Enya: “Spending $120 on a One Direction Varsity is embarrassing.” [35:18]
• Drew: “Nostalgia runs most trends because it's a proven thing.” [34:43]

Their insights highlight the cyclical nature of fashion and its ties to personal memories.

8. Closing Remarks and Final Banter (66:00 - End)

As the episode wraps up, Enya and Drew share final thoughts on various topics, including plastic surgery and personal aesthetics. They maintain their humorous rapport, ending the episode on a light and playful note.

• Drew: “Why do the gays get a month, but us straight Christian Trump supporters don't get a month?” [50:17]
• Enya: “You're gonna burn.” [19:48]

The episode concludes with a mix of humor and affectionate teasing, reinforcing their strong partnership.

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Notable Quotes:

• Drew: “The truth is the new lies.” [02:29]
• Enya: “You should know that. You started saying, like, that's the truth.” [02:18]
• Drew: “I literally have all this information in my brain constantly because I'm super paranoid.” [03:10]
• Enya: “It genuinely did, like, save my life in a lot of ways.” [28:19]

---

Conclusion:

"Enya Is Still A 1D Stan" is a blend of humor, personal stories, and pop culture commentary. Enya and Drew navigate topics ranging from home safety mishaps and acting challenges to the depths of fandom and social etiquette. Their candid and comedic exchanges provide both laughs and relatable insights, making the episode engaging for both regular listeners and newcomers alike.

Transcript

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[Drew]

Oh, literally. Sorry.

[Anya]

Damn. Like, you literally were so slow to understand what I was saying.

[Drew]

Four seconds. It took you four seconds to piss me off on the podcast. Four freaking seconds.

[Anya]

Drew's having his unspiked can. That's his cup of joe.

[Drew]

This is my tea for the day.

[Anya]

Wait, T. Drew is still saying tea? Seriously, in every given situation, it's really up. I was talking about, like, grieving my mother.

[Drew]

See? And, yeah, that's literally tea. Like, it's giving tea, though.

[Anya]

I don't know if it's like, tea.

[Drew]

It's not like, gossip, but. No, it's like that. Like, that's tea.

[Anya]

Like, it's true.

[Drew]

Yeah, like. Yeah, like, you're spilling the truth. I'm sipping the Drewth tea.

[Anya]

You should know that. You started saying, like, that's the truth.

[Drew]

The truth is the new lies. Do you know what I mean?

[Anya]

Yeah, but it's. It's more than that. It's a religion. It's a way.

[Drew]

You don't have to explain it to me, girl.

[Anya]

Oh, okay. I'm sorry. I mean, like, yeah, I thought you would be appreciative that for once I was, like, acknowledging it.

[Drew]

And, like, no, I don't need that from you anymore.

[Anya]

Oh, you've moved on.

[Drew]

You have an army. Dude, I'm really hot.

[Anya]

Like, like sexy or, like, physically hot?

[Drew]

Like, physically hot.

[Anya]

I feel like it's been really cold in the house and I keep waking up with migraines, so maybe we do have black mold.

[Drew]

Yes.

[Anya]

Because I wake up every single morning with a migraine but it goes away instantly.

[Drew]

It's not black mold. Now I figured out what it is.

[Anya]

What is it?

[Drew]

It's a gas leak.

[Anya]

Oh, my God.

[Drew]

We literally have a gas leak, and it's seeping gas into the air. Constant.

[Anya]

Drew is so annoying. Like, two weeks ago, I was out with our friends, and he was like. He texted me. He's like, we have a. Oh, my God. We have a natural gas leak. In my head, what I thought that meant is that someone knocked on the door and was like, oh, my gosh, there was something happened in the neighborhood. Like, we need to evacuate. Whatever, whatever. And I was like, oh, my gosh. How do you know? And he was like, it just smells kind of funny. And. And I. And then he said, I want to look it up because you're. Your text was so. Like, you Googled something in the span, like, in between our texts.

[Drew]

I just have all this information in my brain constantly because I'm super paranoid. But, no, the house smelled like. Literally like sulfur, which is what they put in natural gas to make it have a smell. Or propane to make it have a smell, because naturally, propane doesn't have a smell. But if there's a propane leak, you should know about it. So they put, like, an odor in it to make it smell. And that's what I was smelling, because I remember when my dad would grill, I would smell that all the time, and I was like, okay, the house is going to explode. Like, let me not, like, light anything.

[Anya]

Oh, so it wasn't a natural gas leak. It was just a gas leak.

[Drew]

But he said natural gas.

[Anya]

I don't know. I. You were the one saying natural gas. So I was like. I was thinking, like, yield and, like, what killed the dinosaurs? I was like.

[Drew]

I was expecting my house to explode. That's literally what I was expecting was, like, the house to explode into shrapnel and wood and to turn everything into dust. And it's just like, an isolated vent on the corner of the corner of our block. And, like, people are like, oh, my God. Yeah, there was, like, an explosion. Killed, like, eight people.

[Anya]

No, it killed two things. Drew and Aul.

[Drew]

Yeah, exactly.

[Anya]

And everybody else was at work because.

[Drew]

It was, like, a bunch of things. What do you mean? I'm a people get.

[Anya]

No, no, you're not. You're more than that. You're an icon. You're not. You're no longer an icon. Here's the text he said to me. He said, there's the really. There's the really bad smell. Filling the house. And I thought natural gas immediately, because I know. Wait, I want to start from the beginning, actually. I said, he called me, and he didn't answer, and then I called him back.

[Drew]

I just need to say I have typos in my text. Like, if you text me, you know this, and you get used to it, and you just learn to assume and understand what I'm saying, because every other word is either misspelled or, like, not grammatically correct or, like, whatever it is. And what it is, is I don't give a fuck. Like, people know exactly what I'm trying to say. Like, when people have typos to me, I'm not like. I'm like, do you mean this?

[Anya]

Actually? So I'm like, wait, we have to talk about that. What the acting coach said to you.

[Drew]

Oh, yeah, literally. So we were doing this, like, self tape. Yeah, I'm an actor, baby. I'm an actor, baby. And I had read my lines, like, all night, so I had them, like, memorized. And then he was like, why don't we just, like, try, like, reading them off the screen? And, like, this person is the person who you're, like, doing the scene with. And I was like, okay. And, like, he was, like, scrolling through, and, like, I was just, like, constantly mixing up the words and shit. And he was like, you have dyslexia, don't you? And I was like, yeah, I've, like, never been diagnosed with dyslexia. I just lied to him because I was embarrassed because I don't know how to fucking read out loud, but. Oh, I can literally smell the smell now. The natural gas smell.

[Kai]

Really? Because I'm right next to the stove. I don't smell it.

[Anya]

I smell anything.

[Drew]

Maybe I'm just tricking my brain into thinking it's around.

[Anya]

Oh, my God.

[Drew]

But, yeah, back to the type of shit. I can assume what you're trying to say, and I don't have to send back like, oh, did you mean this? Because. Yes, you knew that's what I fucking meant. Like, I know what you're trying to say. I. You don't have to fucking correct me.

[Anya]

Drew's just really bad grammatically. Because also, like, so many times in our day, I hear him say something, and I'm like, huh? And he's like, oh, I. I just set it to my phone so it writes it.

[Drew]

Yeah, literally, I just yell it into my phone because I'm like, one, I'm like, I don't want to type all that shit out. And two, I don't know how to spell that word. And it's honestly genius. Like, I'm utilizing the feature in a way they never even expected.

[Anya]

Or you just turn on, like, the predictive thing. Okay, so here it is. He called me.

[Drew]

Keep going.

[Anya]

He called me. I didn't answer because I didn't see it. And then I called him back and he didn't answer. And then he called me again and I didn't. So then I said, hey, what's up? He said, I think we might have a natural gas leak, but I'm not sure how to tell, slash, if we have a sensor. Lol. Which immediately I was like, you think we have a natural gas leak, but you're not sure how to tell? Like. And I said, h. Is the oven on? Like, why do I feel that? Cuz I use, like, the stove all the time.

[Drew]

So I was like, we're on the same wave.

[Anya]

So I was like, maybe I. Like, also I have before knocked into the knobs and turned it on. And I was like, tell, like, our landlord to send someone over. Like, it would be simple. And he goes, there's the really bad smell filling the house. And I thought, natural gas immediately, because I know they put a chemical in gas that smells like rotten eggs because natural gas on its own is odorless. And I said, hmm, want to call the landlord? And then he didn't say anything to that.

[Drew]

And then I was trying to give drama. Trying to be like, oh, I know, it was.

[Anya]

It was so annoying because I was like, I'm literally out. And like, now you're going to give me paranoia.

[Drew]

Yeah, I was giving drama when I wasn't responding. I'll be honest.

[Anya]

And I don't know what I said an audio message. I'm not gonna play it. Or should I play it?

[Drew]

Sure.

[Anya]

Do you want to just, like, burn out open windows and check all the knobs on the stove to see if, like, maybe you or me knocked into.

[Drew]

The stove and maybe, like, see, you feed into my delusions. That's the thing.

[Anya]

No, because you were scaring me. I was like, you know what it was? It was one of those. I was like, dude, Azul would die first because she's so small that if.

[Drew]

She'S in, it's like the parakeets that they bring into the ship on arrival. Mine shafts.

[Anya]

Yeah. I'm like, Alyssa was gonna die first because she's probably in the kitchen snooping around the garbage, and she's gonna inhale all the gas first. Also maybe turn on, like, batteries. That's the other Thing is, we don't have batteries in our carbon monoxide.

[Drew]

We do. We do. I looked at it. We do have batteries. Not the one in my bedroom, but the one in the hallway. It's on. It's just hanging off the wall.

[Anya]

Anyway, Drew had me fucking occupied forever, and. And then I called him, and I was like, hey, like, if you want to, like, you could just Uber to Home Depot. And they have, like, the testers. And he was just like, I don't think I want to do that because he's more lazy than he is.

[Drew]

Like, he'd rather. I would rather die.

[Anya]

$15 on an Uber.

[Drew]

I would rather die and have every fiber of my being ripped apart and exploded down to the, like, atomic, molecular level. Didn't have to drive to Home Depot or Uber to Home Depot to get batteries to put it in the carbon monoxide detector. But before we finish the story, let's hear from our ads. Let's hear from us. Our ad reads our sponsors. Let's hear from our sponsors.

[Anya]

Oh, my God, girl, you're good at that.

[Drew]

Yeah. Okay, we can just pick it up. Oh, wow. That was beautiful. That was beautiful.

[Anya]

And then he was just like, oh, no, I'm not gonna do anything. And then didn't text me back forever. And I was like, oh, my God. So then the drama. So I was like, what are you going to do? Didn't say anything to me for an hour. And then I said, any updates? He said, nope. Window widows open. Smell still around. I said, and I said, again, you can get a test at Home Depot. And he said, I'd be dead already. Lol. And I said, is it that fast? And then that ended there. And I was like, fudge this, motherfucker. I'm, like, out, like, at a museum, like, on my phone, trying to see if my friend's, like, dying.

[Drew]

Yeah, as you should. If people aren't constantly thinking about me, what the fuck are they doing? Because I am literally the only actually alive person on this planet, and no one else can prove to me that that's.

[Anya]

Well, if you want people to see.

[Drew]

The way Kai just looked at me when I said that was very suspicious. It was like I caught him looking at me and, like, he's supposed to be, like, acting like he is. You know what I'm saying?

[Anya]

Like, he's supposed to be acting like he's not just.

[Drew]

You two are putting on the performance of your lifetime, being around me every single day of the. Every single day. And then at night, like, you go report back to, like, the Truman show, like, producers, and you're like, how did I do? Like, should I add some flavor to it?

[Anya]

Like, you suffer from delusions of grandeur quite often.

[Drew]

Yeah, well, no, not delusions of grandeur. It's more like, I think you're schizophrenic.

[Kai]

True.

[Anya]

I think you're.

[Drew]

I think you guys need to shut the up. Oh, and I'm gonna. I'm gonna let my altars come out.

[Anya]

Anyways. Oh, also circling back around to the self tapes. Me. Andrew did not talk about this.

[Drew]

Oh, this is so embarrassing. This literally, so embarrassing.

[Anya]

Okay, for reference, I've done a few self tapes, like, and I obviously have not gotten any parts. I'm, like, really lazy with it. It's actually really upsetting. I should take the chance to, like, go to acting class and work on it, whatever. But I'm a busy girl, and I, like, would rather have fun than you'd rather, like, further my career. So I've, like, done a bunch of self tapes before, and, like, I usually don't. Like, I never go in being like, I'm going to get this because I'm like, I don't take classes. I never practice this. Like, I'm not gonna go and self tape and, like, miraculously get it. The closest I've gotten is, like, being told to do, like, a second round of self taping, which, honestly is just them being like, you know what you should do right now is spend money for nothing. And then me being like, okay, like, I guess I have nothing better to do. But me and Drew went, and neither of us had, like, spoken about it, like, Or. I don't know. I don't know what about it got our hopes up. I think it was like, you're like, you had, like, this optimism since it was the both of us doing it.

[Drew]

Yeah. I was like, okay, one, this is really cute. And also, I literally thought it was made for us. Like, that's the thing is I thought it was made for us, but, like, our agent was like, no, this is, like, literally made for you. And I was like, oh, my God. They wrote something for me, like, with me in mind. And I didn't, like, try to clarify that. And I literally thought it was on my end.

[Anya]

I understood that, like, someone being like, oh, like, this part was literally made for you just means, like, oh, it's like, the character is you. So it's like, it should be easy to do a self tape.

[Drew]

If that self tape ever leaked, I would actually kill myself. It would be so bad. I. I literally can't you know what's.

[Anya]

Funny though is the fact that you still walked away and we were like so basically okay, so they gave us the song. I won't say the name of the song that like is gonna be soundtrack that they're choosing because like I think that's literally illegal. But they told us this song. It's like a song I know and it. That song already makes me happy and.

[Drew]

Like it's a good song.

[Anya]

It's a good vibing song. So like on the way there, on the way there I was playing it just because I had listened to it that morning of the self tape because I was like, dude, I haven't heard this song in so long. And because I'm a piece of and I don't read my lines until literally an hour before I need to leave the house. So I like saw that it plays in there. I was like, oh my God, this song's so good. I was listening.

[Drew]

Oh, this was also my first audition.

[Anya]

Ever, by the way.

[Drew]

I have to let you let that. Let you in on that little secret.

[Anya]

So we were like on the way there and I was playing the car in the car and like Drew was driving so I could again, I'm a piece of. I was so I could memorize my lines in the car. So Drew was driving. We were like going back and forth because like one of the scenes we weren't doing a self tape together but one of the scenes we like were would have together. So we were like going back and forth trying to like help each other remember the lines. We got there. I went in, did myself tape like per usual. I'm like, that's probably the most average job I could do as a human on this planet. Serve went back to the car and then Drew went back and like I don't know what about it. Like for some reason me, Andrew were like, wait, now that we're doing it, like I actually really want it because like now I'm going out of my way to do this thing.

[Drew]

Like leading up to it, we were kind of both just like whatever.

[Anya]

Like we'll do it or like telling us to.

[Drew]

It's good experience. Like it's good practice. We're not going to get the part. Like it's whatever. Like this is just fun and like when I was like on the car ride over there, I was like thinking about it and like I had that like feeling of like, like excitement and like almost like like a passion for this like craft to like pursue. And I was like, oh my God. I Literally haven't felt this since, like, we started, like, the podcast or like, since we'd like, we're talking about field trip. And I was like, this is so exciting. Like, I literally, like, would love to, like, pursue this further, girl.

[Anya]

So came back and he literally was like, I'm a pit myself. I'm literally not hungry because I like, I hated that. Yeah, Like, Drew, like, did not enjoy his experience.

[Drew]

Oh, no. It was so bad.

[Anya]

It was self taping in front. Also, to clarify, we are doing it with an acting coach who I had been to multiple times. So I went in and I was like, I'm gonna come in here, act like I memorized the lines for a week. And you're gonna believe me because I just remembered them in the car 20 minutes ago, even though I've literally never said any of this out loud before this moment.

[Drew]

But basically we got out, we sat in the car, and like, we just like fantasize and romanticize and we're like, wait, like, why are we literally gonna get the part? And like, we were like, the thing.

[Anya]

Is, we never even said that to each other.

[Drew]

No, we in secrecy it both in our brains. We were like, why are we literally about to be stars? Like, why are we about to be.

[Anya]

The lead to get food? And we were sitting, eating and literally like that the other day when we were at the car, like, and I broke it. I was like, the way we both had a secret delusion that we were going to get that.

[Drew]

No, I was like, my first lead is going to be in an A24 film. Like, this is crazy. Like, I cannot believe I'm this good.

[Anya]

And literally, like, both of us walked out being like, yeah, I did probably the most mediocre job. Like, it's embarrassing on my part and. But somehow, like, there was a delusion in the back of our head. Listening to outside the world, like.

[Drew]

My.

[Anya]

Life after today, it's going to be different.

[Drew]

It's going to be in the documentary.

[Anya]

Yes. I'm going to remember this day and be like, what a bland day. I just went and did the self tape, but little did I know my life was.

[Drew]

I was a star, baby.

[Anya]

My life was going to. I just love us sitting in silence with that delusion, though. And the song playing above, it was just like.

[Drew]

It was literally. When you said that, it, like fucking killed.

[Anya]

It literally felt like a 2000s Rom com where, like, everything works out in the end. So the friends are like this. They're like, hey, we're not so bad after all. And then the Song blares off when we drive off into the sunset and spend $30 on a mediocre Mila Air one.

[Drew]

The worst food ever I've ever eaten in my. Sorry.

[Anya]

I have something important to say. No, it's not actually important, but I do have something that I thought about the other that was, like, making me personally crack up. What is it? It's crazy how you used to be able to go to school and just lie and nobody could check you because we didn't have cell phones that you could just look it up in someone's face and, like, you could go to school and be like, oh, did you know that the moon is actually only, like, 300ft away? And you could literally walk there if they put out, like, an.

[Drew]

But can you really?

[Anya]

Yeah, I literally heard that on National Geographic last night.

[Drew]

Wait, you can just walk to the moon with an escalator?

[Anya]

Yeah, they're building one right now. Wait, where it'll probably be it. The launch pad is, like, Texas. So that's good for you when you go back to see your family.

[Kai]

Drew, she's lying to you. You should know this.

[Anya]

What? Why would he know this? It's literally. The news came out last night. The news came out Last night at 11pm My mom let me say up late it. So I got to see it.

[Drew]

So now you're calling her a liar? The massage. The misogyny jumped out.

[Anya]

We were in, like, fourth grade, so, like, you up big time.

[Drew]

The misogyny leaped out. The fact that, like, you called a woman crazy is just crazy.

[Anya]

Yeah. You're batsheva.

[Kai]

When did I call Anya crazy? I never.

[Anya]

You're going to hell. Well, you're gonna burn. Wait, what are you saying to him? Were you saying more mean things?

[Kai]

He just covered his mouth and said, she is crazy. She is crazy. Get me out of here.

[Drew]

I did not say that. I literally did not say that.

[Anya]

And that's you guys, because I'm taking that word and I'm. I'm crazy about myself.

[Drew]

I'm reclaiming the word crazy, and I'm crazy.

[Anya]

I'm crazy for love.

[Drew]

Damn. That's actually.

[Anya]

Oh, but I was thinking about. That goes away. Let me literally look up. I think I was, like, high in the bathroom, and I said it to my phone, and I want to see what the phone caught. You used to be able to just lie and say, you know something. Because of the Internet and people. Because of the lack of Internet and people couldn't Google it in your face because of the accessibility to Google.

[Drew]

This sounds like, one of my texts.

[Anya]

People still didn't really trust Google also. So you could literally just lie and say, oh, no, that's on Wikipedia. Someone probably wrote that in and lied about it.

[Drew]

Yeah, I trust Wikipedia with my heart. Everything on Wikipedia is real to me.

[Anya]

I don't trust Wikipedia. I've never, like, read Wikipedia. If I look something up and the first thing is a Wikipedia, I'm like, I guess I don't have to know.

[Drew]

No, I deadass, have the Wikipedia app on my phone, and I just go through it and, like, learn things. Like, let's look at my history. Romanian bones, all worm. Scientology and celebrities. Drag race, Insomniac games.

[Anya]

List of most expensive insomniac gay.

[Drew]

What else do we got? Oh.

[Anya]

What is that?

[Drew]

The love parade disaster. I won't get into it, but it's really tragic and sad.

[Kai]

I don't understand how Wikipedia works. Like, it seems like all that shit is. Is true, but anyone can change it, right?

[Drew]

Yeah, you can go, yeah, I could go in and edit everything. But it, like, there are, like, moderators that, like. Like, it's hard to explain because, like, when I was, like, having everybody hack my, like, school's Wikipedia to, like, change, like, the school colors to, like, pubes and, like, make me, like, a notable alumni and shit, like, it was really hard to get that stuff approved because there is someone who's, like, actively, like, approving and denying it, but, like, sometimes it slips through the cracks and, like, there is, like, a system in place that, like, make sure there aren't just, like, blatant lies and misinformation being, like, spread through it. But, like, for the most part, like, you just, like, make the information, and I think you have to have, like, like, credibility or sources.

[Kai]

Like, like, you have to build up a reputation.

[Drew]

Yeah, exactly.

[Anya]

As a nerd, I literally just trust Google. Like, which I feel like, what. Why does Google give you, like, those answers? So, like, if I asked a basic.

[Drew]

Question, like, oh, have we talked about how I was replaced in Fortnite because I went on a date?

[Anya]

Dude, yes. Drew's been bringing up this date in all these ways that, like, I've literally. Also, to be fair, I asked him literally day of. I was, like, trying to, like, prod him and ask him about it, and it was very, like, no, no. Like, I don't want to talk about it. But Drew keeps bringing it up in all these ways that are, like, literally the way no one fudgeing cares that I did this thing.

[Kai]

It's true. Going on a date by yourself and.

[Drew]

Then having to decompress for seven hours after.

[Anya]

Yes, you did mention that.

[Drew]

Yeah. Okay. I was just making sure that they know that I'm dating.

[Anya]

Yeah, they know that you're a slut and you're dating around.

[Drew]

Yeah, I'm out there. I'm like seeing people.

[Anya]

You're on the scene.

[Drew]

Yeah, I'm on the prowl. But I did see Christian Walker in public.

[Anya]

I know I'm jealous of that. I would go up and ask him.

[Drew]

For a selfie that I was genuinely like, thinking. I was like, I should go up and ask him for a photo just to have one. Because, like, he's one of those people that, like, I just think are like, insane and like, I. He knows exactly what he's doing. He cannot convince me otherwise. He says he doesn't.

[Anya]

No, it's, it's. But it's like. No, I don't know. I was going to say it's like the HRH thing, but like the difference between, like, I don't know. For some reason there feels like a difference between HRH and like Christian Walker. Even though both of them walk the line of being like, not even walk the line. Like, HRH has been like, fully problematic and said like insane, irrational, fucked up things. And so has Christian Walker. But something about Christian Walker feels like he knows what he's doing. Like, yeah, I think it's because, well.

[Drew]

It'S the Starbucks videos. Like, he does like the really high pitched, like, voice and the Starbucks launch and then he's like screaming about like some really. Yeah, you're all crazy. Really gnarly.

[Anya]

Hi.

[Drew]

Which is like the funniest ever. Like, if it was. If it is ironic and like, if he is doing it shrouded in like layers of irony. I literally think it's like genius comedy.

[Anya]

Like, no, he fully is in my eyes. I'm like, that's a comedian. And that's the difference is like, Christian Walker. I feel like you could definitely sit down with him and have like a hilarious conversation. HRH. I feel like if, like, I remember once I DM'd her because I wanted her to be on here. And then I really thought about it. First of all, she did not open that. Like, she doesn't give a about me. Second of all, I really thought about it and I was like, she would literally scare me. Like, we would. You would. I feel like she's someone you would sit down with and then realize, like, oh, this is actually like a person who's like, who's like kind of losing it. But with that being said, she serves in the, like, live, laugh, love her.

[Drew]

Exactly.

[Anya]

And I'm not about to get on here and, like, question her mental state, because I literally don't know her. And there's always. There's always a space for you to come here.

[Drew]

Literally. Literally. But, yeah, I saw Christian Walker and I was, like, low key, starstruck. Like, I don't get starstruck, actually. Why am I lying? I literally love celebrity. I love celebrity. But, like, that was. That was a moment where I was like, I cannot go up to this person and say anything, but I really badly wanted to.

[Anya]

I probably would feel the same way. I feel the same way. I don't get started. But little, like. Yeah, little things like that, it's. It's because it's like, a phenomenon. It's like an enigma. It's like, oh, my God. Like, you really are like. Also, it's just crazy. Like, didn't you see him at, like, the Melrose, like, flea market?

[Drew]

Yeah, in the plaza.

[Anya]

That is, like, insane, like, to just see him there. Like, what, you're buying fruits right now? Like, you're just like, you.

[Drew]

He went to Alfred's.

[Anya]

That's. Yeah. Okay. Shrouded.

[Drew]

Yeah. It was on my.

[Anya]

There's no way. It's not like, an ironic slay.

[Drew]

It was on my date.

[Anya]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Wait, he went to Alfred's? But he loves Starbucks.

[Anya]

Make it make sense. I don't know what that means. Okay. I was gonna say. Yeah, I don't get star shocked, but I have realized I still, like, I would, like, actually, like, fall over and keel over and die for any member. Funder, actually.

[Drew]

Oh, yeah.

[Anya]

I, like, I tapped back in.

[Drew]

I always thought it was like, this little, like. Like you were, like, judging it up, like, playing, like, joking a little bit. But when I watched you watch that One Direction documentary and, like, relive your experiences, I was like, I. This is not a joke. It is, like, very real for India that she know it. Die for One Direction.

[Anya]

No, it literally is, you know.

[Drew]

Okay, so, like, it never left.

[Anya]

I understand when people have, like, I think, like, calling every relationship, you have to, like, an. Either an Internet figure or, like, a celebrity, a parasocial figure is. Isn't doing it justice that, like, there is validity and finding, like, extreme comfort in figures outside of your personal life? Like, of course, yes, A lot of those relationships can become toxic. But, like, for me, basically, what I'm trying to say is when people, like, talk to us about, like, or, like, any of our friends who do things and they're like, oh, my God, like, you have no idea how much what you do, like, how much it helps me. I fully understand that because that's genuinely how I felt about One Direction, which sounds stupid. And I think, like, as I got older, I realized it was, like, really up and, like, honestly shrouded in sexism. To be like, you just gave me a new word. I'm gonna say shrouded like, every day.

[Drew]

Yeah. Is it the new belligerent?

[Anya]

I don't know. I've been saying belligerent. It's kind of out. We'll see what the new one is.

[Drew]

Belligerent is out. Shrouded as in.

[Anya]

Yeah. So, yeah, it was shrouded in sexism that, like, grown ass men would be like, it's so whack how obsessed you are with this thing. But for so many people, it was because it was, like, an emotional crutch. And, like, it was such a disconnect from your real life because.

[Drew]

And girls just love, like, boys, cute boys.

[Anya]

But yeah, like, it literally. It genuinely. One so funny to say, but it literally did, like, save my life in a lot of ways. Like, it genuinely was like, this thing where I could. Anything happening in my life, I could turn it off and, like, get on my computer and find all these people who. We had this, like, common basis of what we liked. And then through there, we got to, like, build real friendships and become, like, close knit. Like, I felt like I had, like, these friends that I couldn't really make in real life because of how shut off emotionally I was. And online there was just that safe space that it was like, you don't really know me and I don't really know you in real life. So I feel like I could confide in you because it's like, it will never, like, confront me, like, in real life.

[Drew]

I love Stan culture. So.

[Anya]

Yeah. And also, it literally is, like, it's so funny. I was saying to Josh, I was like, I don't think you understand. Like, this is the reason why I got, like, a platform. Like, it literally is like, I always thought I wanted to do, like, radio hosting or, like, comedy, and that's why I was, like, within the fandom, like, one of the funny people. Like, that was my whole thing. But, like, literally I never knew. I didn't even know Twitter existed until One Direction. Like, I. I found them on YouTube through, like, that animation, which I think I've said this before. And then because of that, I was like, what is this? I need to find more. And then I went to Twitter. But yeah, re watching that, I was like, oh, my God. Also, that was the first. This Is Us is the first movie I ever went to go see with a friend in. In theaters. Like, that was my first, like, going to the movies with my friend experience when I was like, like 13 or. No, I think at that point that came out, I was like, 14. I just turned 14. And so that was my first time being out alone. And like, me and my friend Anastasia, like, went and saw it and we were literally the only two people in the theater other than, like, one other person. Because it was in the middle of Miami and, like, nobody gave a. About One Direction.

[Drew]

Why was there never a One Direction Justin Bieber crossover?

[Anya]

I think it's because it's like. It's like with. It's like with street, where how there's like, unannounced beef between certain brands.

[Drew]

That's what I was like.

[Anya]

I think that's kind of it. But I mean, in Liam's interview, which is what sparked all this. So embarrassing on his part. But in that he talks about, like, oh, how there was like. I guess there was pseudo beef because.

[Drew]

With Justin Bieber.

[Anya]

Yeah, because Liam had made like, a comment on like a live stream or something like that before where they were like, you're like Justin Bieber. He was like, except I don't get like, I don't go to jail or like, something. Because that was when, like, the beat kind of started. But in general, it was just always like, I think, like a tension thing.

[Drew]

Because of they're both stars and they both.

[Anya]

Yeah, it's both like a big thing. What? I literally. How did I just lose my train of thought?

[Drew]

I don't know.

[Anya]

But yeah, I think also it just would. It would be too much. I think, like, it'd be too much if those crossed over. Also at the time when One Direction was really popping off, Justin Bieber was having his whole, like, what's the purple Journals? Moment, which they were on completely opposite ends. Like, Justin was tapping into R B and One Direction was still like, pop rock. Like Slayer.

[Drew]

Yeah. I love Stan culture. I love Stan Twitter. I think, like, there are healthy boundaries that need to be created. But like, at the same time, like, I know how much it did for me, like, growing up and, like, being able to, like, find these communities online where I just, like, fit in actually, because, like, in ass. Middle of nowhere, Texas, like, girl, like, I can't talk about this with real life people because I'd actually be murdered. But what are you doing over there?

[Anya]

This Reminded me of. I'm trying to repurchase my One Direction Varsity.

[Drew]

You're buying online right now as we speak. You have an actual addiction.

[Anya]

Okay, listen, this was literally because I had. I've talked about this before. I had this One Direction Varsity, but they still sell them and, like, make them. But it's on those gross sites where you can, like, get a varsity made, and it's like $110, but it's on, like, a random cotton, like, shitty Varsity. And I'm not about to spend $120 on it and someone's selling it in a size that would fit me. I. I don't know where mine went. You know what's crazy is I think I sent it to Honduras. So there's like, some little girl in Honduras who's like, running around in a One Direction Varsity jacket, and she probably has no idea what that means because it's literally from 10 years ago, which is insane.

[Drew]

The trend cycle is so vicious that galaxy leg print leggings. Galaxy print leggings are coming back in two years.

[Anya]

Yeah, fully. I would even maybe say less, because remember how we were saying domo is going to be a thing again? I saw a Domo video on my timeline on Tick Tock last night, and it fucking lit. It freaked me out. Demo was so cute.

[Drew]

Demo serve. Yeah.

[Anya]

There was something.

[Drew]

Galaxy leg tights are coming back. I have a note.

[Anya]

Oh, the Adidas Superstars. Yeah, those are coming back, which is freaking me out. I knew once I saw those.

[Drew]

Vapor wave is coming back soon. It's gonna make, like, the aesthetic that.

[Anya]

Makes a lot of sense because to me, because of, like, Blade and. Yeah, it's like that, like, world, like, popping so heavily. Like, it just makes sense for that to cut, like, tag along behind it.

[Drew]

It's just also that, like, nostalgia core. Like, people love nostalgia. Like, people, I don't know. Do people like nostalgia? I love nostalgia. And, like, I've had conversations. People are like, I fucking hate nostalgia. I hate the feeling. It's like the worst feeling ever. And I was like, okay, am I like the weirdo for liking it?

[Anya]

No. Nostalgia, literally, I think runs like most trends because, like, almost everything is like a callback. Especially now, because it's like you're in the. What is it? It's a 10 year cycle or is it 20 year cycle?

[Kai]

Yeah, I think it's a 10 year cycle.

[Anya]

Yeah, we're like, literally caught up in the 10 year cycle. So now we get to see it.

[Kai]

I also, I think that, like, nostalgia just Validates stuff because people are like, oh, this is a proven thing. If. If you're coming up with a new trend or a new style, that's scary. But if you're, like, calling back to stuff from the past.

[Anya]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Oh, this song, like, this band, it's a. It's a proven, validated thing because it's been around for long enough.

[Anya]

Also, I feel within capitalism, it works.

[Drew]

So well because it literally is like.

[Anya]

You'Re selling people back their memories. So it's like, oh, remember this thing you really used to. Like, you used to make. Make you so happy. You should do it again. Literally, me with my One Direction Varsity. But to be fair, I wear varsity jackets a lot. So, like, I would. Like, y' all are about to see me pulling up. Should I just get a really nice One Direction Varsity made? That's kind of embarrassing.

[Drew]

No, don't do that.

[Anya]

Yeah, that's embarrassing.

[Drew]

Do not do that.

[Anya]

Spending 400 on, like, a leather. Like.

[Drew]

Like, literally, you are 32 years old. You cannot be wearing.

[Anya]

Yeah, sure. Yes, I can. Okay. That's the thing is One Direction merch is about to start coming back the way, like, in sync. Merch is, like, a fucking thing. I was thinking about that, and I was looking at their merch, and, like, they have a few pieces that I'm.

[Drew]

Like, I would fully, like, come to an Urban Outfitters. Pacs on.

[Anya]

Yeah. But I think all them would have to sign off. And, like, I don't think.

[Kai]

Oh, yeah.

[Drew]

That's the thing is they don't have to. Like, no one. Like, I. I'm not gonna mention what I'm.

[Anya]

Oh, yeah. But, yeah, I guess licensing, it's not up to you. It's up to the label.

[Drew]

Yeah, exactly. Like, a lot of the. That, like, musicians and boy bands, like, all of their merch, like, actors, like, all of it. Like, the people don't even know half the time that it's being created. It's just, like, written into their contract and they don't even realize it.

[Anya]

Merchandising, and then they get, like, a small. Small.

[Drew]

Especially if it's like a major estate. Like, something as big as One Direction was.

[Anya]

Yeah. Fuller.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

I was in Justin Bieber merch is, like, almost there where people are wearing it, and it's almost like a vintage.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Anya]

Justin Bieber, like, purple era, like, where he would always wear purple. That merch is so good. Like, I would.

[Drew]

Yeah, that shit's fire.

[Anya]

I want the fucking big prints of his face.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

The. The Purpose Tour merch. I don't want it, but I want to, like, see it. Because I remember, like, I was so jealous of everybody who had the Purpose Tour merch, and I was like, I want that so bad. But then, like, eventually I, like, discovered streetwear instead.

[Anya]

I stole that hoodie from a fucker who is somehow still around. Do you remember? Do you know what I'm talking about? I won't say his name.

[Drew]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Anya]

I stole that hoodie from someone because they were being a. And it was rightfully deserved, but that's how I had that hoodie. And again, another thing that I think is in Honduras, because I was just like, I don't. I have no use for this anymore. And I just sold that. I wonder how much a Purpose hoodie goes for now. Because, I mean, now he has Drew.

[Drew]

Which is up because he stole my name. He stole my name. He saw me popping online.

[Kai]

Drew's your name?

[Drew]

Yeah, he saw me popping online. And he was like, actually, you know what? I' ma steal this kid's entire identity. And he did. And it's up. And Justin Bieber, you're an evil entity for that. Like, I hope you burn and rot for stealing my name.

[Anya]

Are you kidding me? This 2010 Justin Bieber merch. See, this is the era I'm talking about, guy. Wait, Yahoo. I'm thinking.

[Drew]

It'S just cute. It's like giving JoJo siwa.

[Kai]

Oh, yeah, that's crazy. Looks like that was made in PowerPoint.

[Anya]

But purpose merch is pretty cheap. It's. I mean, it's not like, selling for what I would have ever expected. There's like a hundred dollar hoodie. There's a 45 hoodie.

[Drew]

Wait, speaking of Purpose merch, literally, do you shut the toilet when you flush it?

[Anya]

No.

[Drew]

No. Neither do I. And I didn't. I. I never. I never knew it was gross. I just like, yeah, I was like, I don't shut the toilet when I flush it. Like, it just never crossed my mind to even shut it. And I was always curious. I was like, why do we have a top lid on it? I was like, maybe to keep, like, babies from drowning or, like, from animals from drinking the water. But no, like, when you shit in that water and you flush it without shutting the top lid, it's literally spraying shit particles and fecal matter into the air and it's landing all over your fucking toothbrush, your skin care. Like, and guess what?

[Anya]

My skin is clear. My teeth are, like, kind of yellow, and I need to go to the dentist. But that doesn't have to do with the shit.

[Drew]

There is definitely, like, three parts per million fecal matter to, like, everything we consume in that bathroom. Just because I don't simply. I don't shut the lid when I flush.

[Anya]

Yeah.

[Drew]

And then I noticed, I was like, everybody does it. Like, even Josh shuts the lid when he flushes. Yeah, he does. Kai, do you shut the lid when you. Yeah, I don't give a. And also, I feel like it's dirtier to touch the.

[Kai]

I poop. I'll actually put my head into the bowl, but no. And get. Get my nose really close to the water, and then I'll flush it.

[Drew]

Why the. Would you. Why would you do that?

[Anya]

Sit around eating.

[Kai]

I'm from Northern California.

[Anya]

Oh, okay.

[Drew]

That makes sense.

[Anya]

Yeah. That makes sense culturally.

[Drew]

Yeah. Wow. Yeah.

[Anya]

Sorry. I'm sorry for, like, a diet.

[Kai]

Thank you for apologizing.

[Anya]

Yeah, you're.

[Drew]

I'm. No, you don't. No one should eat, like, what the.

[Anya]

I think people should eat poop if they want.

[Kai]

I think it's cool if sometimes I eat poop.

[Anya]

If it's only sometimes I talk about.

[Drew]

Eating shit on this podcast anymore. Like, it's literally got to stop. And this is. This should have just been over five minutes ago, but somehow we always end up about.

[Anya]

Someone said, if you give yourself a little treat every day, it's not a treat, it's a habit. So, Kai, if you give yourself a little treat, like, twice a week of poop, it's not.

[Kai]

No, I've been good. I haven't had poop in five days.

[Drew]

No. Oh, my fucking God. You should have never had poop in your life once. Holy. Y' all are weird. Oh, my God.

[Anya]

I'm weird. I'm crazy.

[Drew]

Also, I can't believe, like, a normal person.

[Anya]

What?

[Kai]

No, you can't be eating. Catch it. That's actually disgusting.

[Anya]

I guess they do make it into a perfect little Almond Joy.

[Drew]

Yeah. It's like pudding little.

[Kai]

Give them a little milk.

[Drew]

Give them a little milk rope. Yeah.

[Kai]

When it comes out of the thing.

[Drew]

Give them a little milk, and it liquefies a little bit, and it's like a little patty once it hits the cat litter, and then you can, like, pick it up, like.

[Anya]

Oh, it is like a nerd's rope kind of thing. Because it's. It's like. It's like a nerd's cluster.

[Drew]

Yeah, exactly. Cover.

[Kai]

I always thought a good prank is, like, pooping in a bowl and then putting it in someone's microwave.

[Anya]

Did. Did kids at Yalls school have the.

[Drew]

Like bombs, the glass vials?

[Anya]

No, it's like ours was like plastic bags that you hit and they would like, expand and you had to run away and they would burst.

[Kai]

Oh, I don't. I have no idea.

[Anya]

You know, so fucked up. The ice cream truck at my school sold them them.

[Drew]

That's great.

[Anya]

So literally, the person who sold us ice cream also showed. Wait, I need to find them. Like, I want to know the same one.

[Drew]

No, they're the exact same.

[Anya]

Is it in like a.

[Drew]

It's like a foil packet that you, like. There's like something and it makes a chemical reaction that. And we had the glass vials. Yeah, the glass files are that you would break.

[Anya]

Damn. The graphic design of this is too late.

[Drew]

Don't show the people. Let me see.

[Anya]

Well, they're. They could look it up.

[Drew]

No, don't even tell them. No. That actually is like. I almost fell, but.

[Anya]

Dude, this is fire.

[Drew]

No, those.

[Anya]

I haven't seen this.

[Drew]

The. The vial and then the liquid ass spray. Have I ever told the story about when we poured the liquid aspray in my friend's hair and he freaked the out?

[Anya]

Yeah, but yeah, we had these, like, little fart.

[Drew]

This kind of smells like, off, like it will, like, void off mosquitoes.

[Anya]

I think it does.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Anya]

Because.

[Drew]

Oh, it is like a spring candle. Yeah, no, but that's a cleaning line. I don't know.

[Anya]

Who cares? But. Oh, kids would take that and throw it in the fucking air vents at school. They would go in the bathroom, toss it in the air vent, and run away. And then the whole floor would smell like fudgeing shit. So we would get evacuated. But it was just, like, really annoying. But yeah, the ice cream truck would literally sell it to the kids.

[Drew]

I would make turds out of Clif bars and hide them in the corners of the hall. And I would record people's reactions to them, like walking past like a human turtle.

[Anya]

I. I misread the. I. I misheard you. So crazy. I thought you were making a joke that you would, like, shape your. Like a Cliff bar.

[Kai]

And I literally was like, as a prank, I guess.

[Drew]

Yeah, it's like, funny. I wouldn't show anybody, but it's like a funny thing to do.

[Kai]

I used to make fake turds out of Snickers. It looks really, really good. Looks very real.

[Anya]

It looks good, like.

[Drew]

And then you eat them. Okay, riddle me this. Why do you have to order a side of fries now? Remember the days when the fries would come with the burger?

[Kai]

I have noticed that recently.

[Drew]

Oh, wait. Me getting A girl's number.

[Kai]

What?

[Anya]

Oh, my God.

[Drew]

I got a girl.

[Anya]

I think you. You might have already said this, but I might.

[Drew]

No, I have not said it because I wrote it down to say it, but I got a girl's number. What?

[Kai]

When would that.

[Anya]

Ask him where and when?

[Kai]

Where and when?

[Drew]

The Prada store when I got my Prada loafers. The girl who helped me out, she was like, here, take my number down so you can text me about, like, ordering other Prada things.

[Kai]

But that was the store's number. That's like, a girl gave it to me.

[Anya]

Associate number.

[Drew]

But a girl gave it to me.

[Kai]

That's like a customer support thing. It's like, oh, these are expensive.

[Anya]

Have you guys talked about.

[Drew]

No, because I haven't needed to buy anything.

[Anya]

Yeah.

[Kai]

When you. When you call the number, is it a robot that answers?

[Drew]

It says, like, Well, I. Yes, I did call it, and it was an automated thing. It was like, this is Prada at the Galleria. Like, we'll get back. Or the Beverly center or whatever. We'll get back to you when we can. But I thought her name was Prada. Beverly.

[Anya]

Her name was Prada at the Beverly Center.

[Drew]

No, Beverly. Prada. She did give Beverly vibes.

[Anya]

What was I gonna say?

[Drew]

You weren't gonna say suck my balls. Yeah. You weren't gonna say on the tip.

[Anya]

Of my tongue, and it was gonna be suck my balls.

[Drew]

That's the thing.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

That's the thing about you.

[Anya]

I thought you were gonna talk about the lady at Aesop who both of us fell in love with.

[Drew]

Oh, we are.

[Anya]

Even though she was literally just buttering us up to sell us stuff.

[Drew]

You're so sad and miserable and disgusting.

[Kai]

Anybody who gives us every time.

[Drew]

Yeah. Anybody who's nice to us and gives us attention, we literally just fall in love with.

[Anya]

She was also beautiful, and she had a British accent, and she was talking about her friends visiting and going to the Roosevelt Hotel, and I was like.

[Drew]

Can I see your boobs if I buy this candle? Can I see your boobs?

[Kai]

I fall for this.

[Anya]

It's not even, like, your butt crack.

[Drew]

It's just the tip. It's not even, like I'm, like, falling in love with her. It's like she gives me maternal energy, and I long for that.

[Anya]

Yeah. And I want her to, like, carry me around and pat me on the back and give me.

[Drew]

Yeah, I want to be watched and.

[Kai]

Then touch a. I mean, there's so much to unpack there. But I have noticed, like, if you're. If you're at a store, like, right when you're buying something and there's, like, a tipping situation. Drew, don't smile at that. Like, you're supposed to tip the person who's selling. You will, like, compliment you right before the sale is made. They'll be like. They'll say something nice about you. This happens. They'll be like. They'll be like, oh, I really like that shirt.

[Drew]

Y' all are wonderful.

[Kai]

They'll laugh at what you're saying, like, right before. And I think that's just a technique to be, like, the very last interaction you had with them was, like, good. So you're like, oh, I'll tip this person.

[Drew]

Oh, I worked with that. I support it. And I, like, give everybody.

[Anya]

Yeah, I give everyone tips. And, like, I am, like, such a little, like, turd. Actually, it's. It's a good thing.

[Drew]

I don't tip. I don't tip. Like, if you needed a tip, like. Like, give me service that requires. You know what I'm saying? Like, I don't need the unironic, technically.

[Kai]

Have never tipped, guys.

[Drew]

Never tipped once in his life.

[Anya]

He doesn't know what that is. He doesn't get it. He's like, wait, why did your price go up by, like, $5? Mine was literally $5.

[Kai]

Optional. It is optional.

[Drew]

Yeah. No, I tip. I tip. I tip 35.

[Anya]

I only tipped well because I was, like, taught it at a young age because my mom is in the service industry, so she would always, like, talk to me about it. So I was like, okay, that's the thing you need to do. But I had, like, a funny conversation with a barista the other day. Also. Any. Yeah, anybody who's nice to me, I like, overly tip them because I'm like, I really like you. It's.

[Kai]

My brain will be like, I'm gonna give you the 30.

[Anya]

Yeah. Because I'm like a little monkey. They're like, oh, you're pretty and funny. And I'm like, thank you. I'm like, I'll give you.

[Kai]

My finger. Has been hovering over the 18. And then they, like, said something nice. I went, 25. Yeah.

[Anya]

No. You know what is up is when they do it 25.

[Drew]

Oh, they flip the script.

[Anya]

They flip it because they want to trick you into doing it. Also, one time, like, recently, I accidentally. When I went into a coffee shop, somebody behind the counter knew who I was, and I had a short conversation with them. And this. If you're listening, this was fully an accident, but I couldn't go back on it. Because it would have been so embarrassing. I went to go. It was like a $5 coffee. I went to go do the, like, a $2 tip, and I accidentally did 20. And then I just. I had to commit to it. But then I was like, oh, my God, this is so embarrassing because he's gonna look at that and be like, did this just tip me $20? Because I, like, not even that in my head. I was like, oh, my God, he's gonna think I tipped in 20 to be like, yeah, I'm a good person. Like, I'm so good. Like, oh, this five dollar coffee. Yeah, I'm gonna triple it. Like, you know what? Have 15 extra dollars like, on top of this coffee. Oh, and I was so embarrassed and I ran out of that spot. But I had a conversation with a barista. I went, bought the coffee, and before I tipped, he, like, just started walking away. And I was like, hey, you didn't turn the screen to let me tip you. And he was like, oh, yeah. Like, I don't want to do that. My other job, like, I did that and it made me feel funny. So, like, here we decided, like, they just opened up a coffee shop, I guess, like, solo.

[Drew]

And they were like, I haven't been listening.

[Anya]

You haven't been listening?

[Drew]

I'm sorry.

[Anya]

Really?

[Drew]

I was looking through. Yeah, I know. It's about a guy that doesn't tip or.

[Anya]

No, that he. He opened up a coffee shop and he's like, oh, we're not going to turn the screen to tip. We're going to. He was like, we. We're going to do cash only tips.

[Drew]

Okay.

[Anya]

So it's just like, oh, if someone really wants to, they can, like, go ahead and do that. But, like, we're not going to, like, ask them to do tips. Because he was just like, oh, I felt funny. Like at my last job, like, literally we would, like, turn the screen and kind of look away because it was just like, oh, God. Like, I. This feels so weird. Like, asking you for a tip. I was like, I guess that is. Like, there are certain. There are only certain moments where I'm like, no, I'm. Wait.

[Drew]

I'm literally like, you should pressure every customer into giving you a tip. I don't give a. Like, I mean, like, personally, it does make me uncomfortable, but I'm like, literally do that to everybody. I don't care.

[Anya]

Yeah, I'm like, because I will still tip. That's the thing is no matter how I feel about it, like, in any given situation, even at the restaurants where it's like I go put my order, and then I sit down, and then I do all the things, and then I do all the little things, and I, like, do it myself. But I did think that even if.

[Drew]

They'Re mean to me, I still.

[Anya]

Yeah, I'm like, I should be, like, a pissy. But I'm like, I'm sure you had a hard day. Like, you know, here's. Here's your 15, 18. Like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I shouldn't be here.

[Drew]

Why isn't there a Straight Pride month?

[Kai]

I was thinking that.

[Drew]

Why do the gays get a month, but us straight Christian Trump supporters don't get a month? I think it's weird. And the liberal agenda say, like, us.

[Anya]

Like, who is us?

[Drew]

Me and my altars.

[Anya]

Oh, okay.

[Drew]

We need straight pride.

[Anya]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Are you, like, we need that month?

[Anya]

Stop saying we.

[Drew]

You keep saying the community.

[Anya]

You and the rest of the straight community.

[Drew]

Yes.

[Anya]

So what do straight people use Grindr for?

[Drew]

Why are you bringing that up?

[Anya]

Because Grindr is, like, a notoriously. Like, it's literally for.

[Drew]

Like, it's not on my phone.

[Anya]

When we went through our screen time.

[Drew]

Grinder is not on my phone.

[Anya]

Six hours of Grinder time.

[Kai]

That's too much. True. I'm just saying that's way too much.

[Anya]

Not you literally. You. Not you being homophobic during Pride month.

[Kai]

I'm not being homophobic. That's just. That's clearly, like, an addiction.

[Drew]

Whoa.

[Anya]

An addiction to love. To. To seeking out love and friends.

[Drew]

Yeah. Like, you can be addicted to having sex. Like, that's like, I'm being addicted to being the coolest person alive.

[Anya]

That's literally. Okay, don't. Don't even get mad, because that's Kai being a loser. Yeah, he's being jealous because he's literally a virgin.

[Drew]

Yes, I have sex all the time.

[Kai]

I'm not.

[Anya]

Yes, I have.

[Drew]

Now I'm about to start crying because.

[Anya]

I'm, like, habitual, and, like, I need to do it, and if I don't.

[Drew]

Then, like, I wasn't gonna cry.

[Kai]

First of all, you can be addicted to sex. I'm not a virgin. I have sex all the time. Literally constantly.

[Drew]

I told myself I wasn't gonna cry. I really did.

[Anya]

He's crying. You're like. You're literally attacking him. You think you're helping, but you're just hurting.

[Kai]

I. You know what? Fuck this. Good. I'm glad I made him cry because I've. I try to help you all the time, and then this. He's also fake crying.

[Anya]

No, that's how he cries. It's really weird sometimes I'm like, oh, my God. It's like they're a dog outside. And I go. And it's just Uranus room.

[Drew]

Oh, my God. Did you see that?

[Anya]

That was really scary, guy. I like, rebooted. Where are your eyes? Brown.

[Kai]

They're green.

[Drew]

Do you actually have green?

[Kai]

Actually, no, I lied. They're brown. But there, there is a little bit of green in there.

[Anya]

Literally me in like third grade when I was so jealous of my siblings, I was like, no.

[Drew]

Yeah, I was like, in the light.

[Anya]

My eyes are like.

[Drew]

So like, if we go outside me.

[Anya]

When it was because my eyes are so dark, the trees were reflecting off of my eyeball.

[Drew]

Hold on, hold on.

[Anya]

Also, I was thinking about this other way and it's like how to be cracking up. People literally find out they can sing and they don't stop. They, like, just don't.

[Drew]

What did she say? Tiger.

[Anya]

What?

[Drew]

I live Tiger, the girl that the tick tock you sent me this morning.

[Anya]

Oh, wait, I don't know. I have to look at it. Dude, I watch so many TikToks at this point. Like, when people reference them to me, I'm like, actually, what the are you?

[Drew]

And it doesn't like tick tocks. She just sends them to me.

[Anya]

I know. And then when it's time to like, share your screen and show what you've been liking, my sucks balls holes. Oh, yeah.

[Drew]

Literally, me discovering I can sing on camera for the first time.

[Anya]

All right, but dude, this literally had me cracking up because I was like, oh, my God. Okay, it's not.

[Drew]

Oh, Inya.

[Anya]

When I realized I can think. I can't believe I got it on video.

[Drew]

You're gonna. You're gonna hear me, right? You're gonna hear me roar. Damn.

[Kai]

What do you mean, shut the up?

[Anya]

No, but actually, literally, imagine. Do you know how annoyed I'd be if my little 4 year old started singing and had kind of a decent voice? And then by the time they're seven, they're like belting around the house and they're like, I'm gonna do this for a living. I'd be so annoyed. Like, shut.

[Kai]

Especially because people that can sing, they'll like go to school and then sing under their breath.

[Drew]

Stop. No, literally, I was the kid humming My camera is greasy as I was the kid humming under my breath. I was the one doing the whole, like, my dad in on the way to like, one of my baseball games. I like, sang in the back seat. And my dad jokingly was like, drew, you have, like, a really good voice. And he didn't tell me it was a joke for, like, a week. And I went around the house singing for literally all of those seven days and, like, belting the songs, like, like. And I. And then after, like, the seventh day, my dad was like, drew, like, I was joking. And my sister, my Madeline, she literally freaked out and died laughing like, they were in on this. I was literally bullied by my family. And now y' all wonder why I don't have a good singing voice. It's because I was traumatized into.

[Anya]

Not how that works.

[Drew]

Trauma. And every time you make fun of me for being a bad singer, you're making fun of my trauma.

[Anya]

Literally. James Charles, be like, no, but, like, seriously, I'd be so annoyed if my, like, 10 year old is, like, on YouTube. Like, hey, yeah. I'd be like, shut the fuck.

[Drew]

No, the thing is, you'd be like, okay, that's your service.

[Anya]

No, I made fun of my little sister for the same thing. My little sister wanted to be a singer so bad, and I made fun of her so crazy. I was like, girl, you do not sound good.

[Drew]

You showed me. Yeah, maybe. I don't know.

[Anya]

There's a video I'm gonna see if I could find it. This is so mean to do to Sophia, but there's a video.

[Drew]

It's. It's literally the funniest thing. I love. I love you, Sophia. Actually, I love you, Sophia. But it is so funny.

[Anya]

I think I showed it to her the other day because I think. Dude, you thought you were eating. Like, she literally thought, like, she was. Like, she felt like she was in a movie. Like, she was like, wait, a Solange song? What song is it? I. I just have to find it. Like, I'm gonna. Yeah.

[Drew]

Am I, like, conventionally attractive or am I, like, weird attractive?

[Anya]

You're special.

[Drew]

Thank you. Let me know. Am I, like, Like, am I attractive to you or am I ugly?

[Kai]

You're hella sexy to me, but, like.

[Drew]

Unironically, like, if you saw me down the street, would you be like, oh, he's, like, kind of cute?

[Anya]

I think I would.

[Drew]

Okay. Thank you. I needed that confidence boost because I was feeling ugly today. It's simply. It's because of my hair. I need my hair cut really bad.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Anya]

I need to find this more than anybody knows.

[Kai]

What are you gonna do? Oh, is it a secret? Oh, my God.

[Anya]

You look insane. Not you serving sex. Oh, you look like you just came Home from a dog on a windy day. On a windy, humid day.

[Drew]

It looks like I just came.

[Kai]

You do look like you just, like stumbled out of the sexier at Burning Man.

[Drew]

Yes. Don't. Why you. You looked at me a little too long ago. Y' all are weird.

[Kai]

You look sexy.

[Anya]

I mean, it is your mom.

[Kai]

There's that clip from the last episode of you like the Silent Race.

[Drew]

The Silent Race? Yeah. We watched the tick tock of the girl saying like this. Why do celebrities wave very condescendingly? And it literally cracked me up. And me and Anya have just been like, saying bye like this.

[Anya]

I literally love it. That's all we do to each other day.

[Drew]

I'm like, you know, whisper to. You're the best.

[Kai]

My best.

[Drew]

Oh, my.

[Anya]

The thing is, no one is about to turn to you and say, I can't end this episode without playing the. Oh, you know what it is? It's. What's the Solange song? That's like what you say to me. She's like, what you say to me? What you say to me like that. And like, what makes it funny is it's so breathy. Cuz my sister had headphones on. She's like, what you said to me.

[Drew]

Don't touch my hair.

[Anya]

Okay, I'm almost there. I'm going down my finsta. But I just have a million posts.

[Kai]

When I hold this up, it feels so passive aggressive.

[Drew]

No, I literally love it, but it's cool.

[Kai]

All right.

[Anya]

I like it, but it really does, like, throw me off because I have absolutely no concept of, like, vaginal. See anything? Oh, I got guys. It's cured now. But I had bacteria. Bacterial vaginosis. I had it again.

[Drew]

We're gonna make sourdough bread in that oven.

[Anya]

Throwback.

[Drew]

Wait me on. What do you know about me unironically loving the Pride Month advertisements and all of the icons changing?

[Kai]

What do you think about the Chipotle one?

[Drew]

I haven't seen it.

[Kai]

It says homo estas.

[Anya]

No, it does not.

[Kai]

I think it's real.

[Drew]

I actually genuinely love that if that's true.

[Kai]

I love that it's a rainbow burrito. It says homo estas, but maybe it's a joke.

[Drew]

Winstar Waco from Succession in their Pride Month post. I love pride. I literally love pride so much.

[Kai]

I really. I do really enjoy the fact that in the Uber app, the line is rainbow is rainbow and it like, glows.

[Drew]

Yeah. No, I actually love it. And I'm like, yeah. Yep.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

But that's me as a straight man saying that what's the straight.

[Anya]

I was gonna say, like, what you. You say you like it. Like, it's, like, made for you. You say you like the pride.

[Kai]

Does the straight people have a flower?

[Drew]

I cleaned this table this morning. How is it? Like this.

[Kai]

This water right here?

[Drew]

Yes.

[Kai]

I don't know, but what was weird is that water was, like, cloudy before.

[Anya]

What you said to me, dude, I'm never gonna find it. I. Hopefully I can find it and send it to Kai and he could play it, but I know I'm getting close.

[Drew]

I'm close. I'm so close. Okay, let's see what else I can.

[Anya]

Talk about myself on the floor.

[Drew]

High tech, low life. We're basically living the worst imaginal life possible. We have all these technologies. Oh, is this me falling?

[Anya]

No, it's me throwing myself on the floor.

[Drew]

And the people watching you. We have a ring doorbell. And now we see every single time our neighbors leave our house.

[Anya]

And it feels wrong. It feels like. Like, that should be illegal.

[Drew]

Okay, I know I made a comment about 20 episodes saying that I don't like or understand impractical jokers. I need to clear the air. I am a mer bias. And I watched a couple episodes, and I literally love it. They're just goofy old men being goofy and having fun, and I love it, and I can't wait to be old. Actually, no, I lied. Oh, me and that meeting.

[Anya]

I can't wait to be old.

[Drew]

Girl, do you remember me in that meeting? We never talked about it.

[Anya]

What?

[Drew]

I don't even know if I'm allowed to say it, but, like, I was like, when I. I was just, like, in a manic, like, flow state, and I was like, well, I'm, like, killing myself when I turn 30 anyways. In front of those.

[Anya]

Dude, I know. And it literally, like, the thing is, like, our agents got it and left, but, like, the new person on the call was like, oh, also, I just. It wasn't like, no, that's not what a high note is, Drew. Also, I just scrolled through my whole Finston. I couldn't find it, but now I'm really paranoid. Like, I've said this before, but sometimes I feel like y' all could see through my phone, and now I'm scared that y' all just saw my whole life.

[Drew]

High tech, high tech, low life.

[Anya]

Okay, that's the end of this episode. The last, like, five minutes was just me trying to find this video, and you just, like, floating into oblivion, like, talking.

[Drew]

Girl, I have fun. One thing about me is I'm Gonna have fun. Okay, let's do media.

[Anya]

Mine is Valentine, Fiona Apple, Wild Horses by Prefab, Sprout Down Under, Men at Work, and One Day by Nobu Kazu Takamura and Love Song by Biba Doobie Slay. And then visually, I haven't seen nothing. I haven't seen nothing.

[Drew]

Nothing Yet I see nothing.

[Anya]

I haven't read nothing. I ain't done nothing.

[Drew]

First songs 180 decibel, underscore 130, I'm assuming BPM by Apex Twin on Cyra Syro. That's a good album. Let's go to the end of this. No, no, I added it to this playlist list. I ignored it.

[Anya]

Now.

[Drew]

Oh, I have so many private playlists on Spotify now. I've been gatekeeping my music. We got White Sheep and Small Light by Nobukasu Takam Takamori Takamura. And then also, we both pronounce his name so differently. Oh, wait, did you say a song from.

[Anya]

Yeah, I said One Day.

[Drew]

Oh, the Beep Loops. Literally love that song. That is my favorite ambient song of all, all time. Very bold of me to say after all by 703-863-4357. And then Julian showed me this song. TLC by Turnstile in the outro. I saw it on this story. I thought it was really cool. And I saw Top Gun. I don't know. Did I talk about that on the podcast?

[Anya]

I don't think so.

[Drew]

I saw Top Gun and we did. It was awesome. It was so good. I literally couldn't believe it. Like, it was. It was a masterpiece. Like, they did the damn thing, and that's all. Go watch Top Gun.

[Anya]

Go watch your mom is ugly and stupid.

[Drew]

Oh, my God. Also, I'm sorry, What's his face? Yeah, Mom, I know you heard that. Text me.

[Anya]

I'm kidding.

[Drew]

Text me, mom, because we'll get this together. We'll get her. No, but what's his name? Tom Reynolds.

[Anya]

Tom Hanks?

[Drew]

No, the Tom Cruise looks good for being, like, 800 years old.

[Anya]

Someone said he had a facelift. Oops. Oops. And we're gonna out women for having facial surgery. We got to do it for Ben. He had a facelift. And you could see because.

[Drew]

Are people still trying to hide, like, getting plastic surgery?

[Anya]

Yes, fully.

[Drew]

Go. Who cares? Like, own that if you're gonna do it. Own it. Own it.

[Anya]

Own it by Drake.

[Kai]

I got a bunch of work done.

[Anya]

Yeah, it was beautiful.

[Drew]

But, you know, he got a penis and large. Actually a penis shrinking surgery because he's so well endowed. It like, was act. When he would get a B word, he would pass out because the blood. When he would get a boner, it would. He would pass out because the blood from his brain would rush to his.

[Kai]

It happened a couple times while I was driving, so it was dangerous.

[Drew]

So it was. What was it? It was an elective surgery turned needed. So the insurance covered it.

[Kai]

Exactly. Yeah. And there was. It was such. Such a long surgery because it's really big. Cost like $2 million.

[Drew]

17 hours.

[Anya]

Wait, wait, wait. This is big news. Thanks to you guys. It literally is because of this podcast. Now I can have it. I have health insurance.

[Drew]

Yes. Yes. You got health insurance. I had to sign papers to get it turned over. So it's Maya doing. No, literally, it is. Y' all do it. It's actually so advanced. And then I also.

[Anya]

Now I can go get my swab. Then it won't be $2,000.

[Drew]

I was thinking maybe I. Kai, it's a vagina that sprays discharge. I was. I was thinking I might get on the health insurance to just do it, but I was like, no, I get health insurance till I'm 26. Through my parents.

[Anya]

Yeah, do that. If I got health insurance through my parents, I would fully do that. What you say to me? What you say to me? Me? No, but I'm gonna find it and we'll. We'll outro with that. We'll outro with Sophia. We'll have Kai mix it.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Anya]

Into a song.

[Kai]

I'm gonna make it a drum and bass song.

[Drew]

Merch coming soon. Oh.

[Anya]

Oh, you naughty little boy. You're gonna get a big spanky.

[Drew]

Merch coming soon. Maybe we tease it. Not now. Not now. But I mean, like, on the weeks leading up, maybe we just, like, have it folded over.

[Anya]

Not me being a tease. All right, bye, guys.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and safeway. Now through June 24th, score hot summer savings and earn four times the points. Look for in store tags on Items like Pepsi 2 liter bottles, poppy prebiotic sodas, all laundry detergent, and Kinder's seasoning blend. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event long savings. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in store or online for easy drive up and go, pickup or delivery subject to availability restrictions. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details.