Enya Overshares

Summary

Emergency Intercom: Season [X] Episode "Enya Overshares" Summary

Release Date: August 5, 2022
Host/Authors: Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips
Description: Emergency Intercom is a comedy podcast by Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips. There is no emergency, but there is an intense need for attention, so maybe listen up… You don’t want to know what happens if you don’t. (we will be violent)

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1. Health and Dietary Habits

The episode kicks off with a candid discussion about gut health, probiotics, and the unexpected side effects of dietary supplements. Drew shares his uncomfortable experience with taking probiotics and chlorophyll, leading to severe digestive issues.

Drew [01:43]: "This is like so TMI and gross... it was like a fire hydrant out my butthole."

Enya (referred to as Kai) speculates that the probiotics are the culprit behind Drew's distress, leading to a humorous yet relatable conversation about balancing dietary supplements and their effects.

Kai [01:33]: "That's what's doing it to you. It's the probiotics."

The hosts delve into their snack preferences, debating the ideal order of consuming savory and sweet snacks. Drew humorously critiques Kai's snacking habits, emphasizing the importance of flavor balance.

Drew [04:17]: "You are supposed to eat your snacks from savory to sweet and end... you literally swee."

2. Flight Mishap and Monkeypox Concerns

A significant portion of the episode revolves around Enya's chaotic flight experience. She recounts accidentally spilling a can of soda on herself, which leads to an awkward interaction with a fellow passenger who fears she might have monkeypox.

Kai [10:18]: "I fell asleep with the open coke in my hands... I woke up to coke all over me and all over my pants and my ass."

Drew supports Enya's concerns, mentioning that spider bites and the presence of a large spider in his room have heightened their worries about potential infections.

Drew [13:04]: "Now what? So I think I have it."

3. Personal Hygiene and Body Odor

The conversation shifts to personal hygiene, with Drew and Kai humorously criticizing each other's showering habits and body odors. They exchange playful jabs about their cleanliness routines, highlighting comedic tension in their friendship.

Drew [17:10]: "You have nice pheromones. You're smelling my balls."

Kai [18:52]: "I actually did shower. I literally did."

4. Anxiety and Mental Health Struggles

Enya and Drew open up about their struggles with anxiety, particularly concerning global events and personal well-being. They express frustration with constant negative news and its impact on their mental health, discussing their coping mechanisms and the importance of focusing on personal happiness.

Drew [25:57]: "We need to stop telling me about things I can't fix because it's just giving me, like, impending doom anxiety."

Kai [26:49]: "The economy is ruined. We know this. We don't care."

5. Social Media and Interactions with Youth

The hosts share awkward encounters with teenagers pushing them to participate in TikTok trends. They describe uncomfortable situations where young individuals aggressively solicited their participation, leading to reflections on the nature of social media influence and generational differences.

Kai [47:34]: "I am so scared of what they're thinking about me and saying about me."

Drew [51:05]: "I wish I was there because I would have been such a fucking cunt to them."

6. Relationships and Emotional Topics

Enya and Drew discuss their perspectives on relationships, including the challenges of maintaining emotional connections and the complexities of open relationships. They humorously navigate topics like gift-giving anxiety and the pressures of maintaining relationship dynamics.

Kai [23:44]: "Every person I've ever had sex with is a loser."

Drew [58:24]: "When it does get serious, I feel like those conversations are usually short-winded."

7. Media Consumption and Cultural Discussions

The podcast delves into the hosts' media preferences, including movies, music, and societal observations. They critique the homogenization of colors in design, the influence of hyper-consumerism, and share their thoughts on various media pieces like the movie Vengeance and the music of Lana Del Rey.

Kai [61:16]: "There was a line in this movie that stuck with me... Texans aren't actually stupid."

Drew [63:00]: "My media of the week is 'Dress You Up' by Madonna... Runner by Alex G."

8. Closing Remarks and Reflections

As the episode winds down, Enya and Drew reflect on the nature of their podcast, the pressures of public perception, and their ongoing personal struggles. They emphasize the importance of staying true to oneself amidst external challenges.

Drew [46:25]: "I want to hear that story."

Kai [58:59]: "It's all for you. Everything I do is for emergency intercondiors."

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Notable Quotes

• Enya (Kai) [01:33]: "That's what's doing it to you. It's the probiotics."

• Drew [01:43]: "This is like so TMI and gross... it was like a fire hydrant out my butthole."

• Kai [04:17]: "You are supposed to eat your snacks from savory to sweet and end."

• Drew [10:18]: "No, you literally have monkey pox. Like, I'm not joking."

• Kai [17:10]: "I actually did shower. I literally did."

• Drew [25:57]: "We need to stop telling me about things I can't fix because it's just giving me, like, impending doom anxiety."

• Kai [47:34]: "I am so scared of what they're thinking about me and saying about me."

• Drew [58:24]: "When it does get serious, I feel like those conversations are usually short-winded."

Conclusion

In "Enya Overshares," Emergency Intercom offers listeners a blend of humor and heartfelt conversations as Enya and Drew navigate personal anecdotes, health mishaps, mental health struggles, and societal observations. Their candidness and comedic flair provide a relatable and entertaining listen for those seeking both laughs and genuine dialogue.

Transcript

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[Drew]

My check.

[Kai]

1, 2.

[Drew]

Do you know what that is? Welcome to this episode of MRTC Intercom. Those are gonna be my last words.

[Kai]

Bye.

[Drew]

Bye.

[Kai]

Welcome back, guys. I feel like it's been like a month for some reason. I literally feel weird.

[Drew]

I know it feels like it's been a long time, but it's just because you went out of town and usually four days.

[Kai]

Yeah, but okay, so this morning or yesterday when you picked me up from the airport, you were like, like, I'm shitting out of my ass. Like I'm spraying liquid shit everywhere. Like, I don't know what it is. It's probably the chlorophyll because I'm drinking chlorophyll again. I opened up that cabinet and I see you have probiotics in there. Are you taking probiotics?

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

That's what's doing it to you. It's the probiotics.

[Drew]

To me this morning I was like, I'm not even taking probiotics. What are you talking about? But that literally is.

[Kai]

That's what it is.

[Drew]

Okay. This is like so TMI and gross. But I went to go and it was like, like, it was like a fire hydrant out my butthole. And it was like the worst it's ever been. And I couldn' believe it. It was so bad that I was gonna go pick Drew up from the airport and I had to stand by the bathroom for like an extra 30 minutes cuz I was like, dude, if I fart, I'm gonna everywhere.

[Kai]

She texted me when I was on the airplane. She's like, I don't know if I'm gonna be able to make it. Like, I think I'm gonna myself in the car.

[Drew]

But I. I've been fine this morning. My poop was solid, but it was dark green because of the chlorophyll. So. Yeah, so I think it was definitely a mix of the probiotics and the chlorophyll that had my guts twerking. Because my guts are still twerking. Like, it's like, I haven't taken it today. Should I take it? Should I still keep taking it?

[Kai]

I mean, yeah, it'll. It'll balance.

[Drew]

Am I supposed to take that every day?

[Kai]

Yeah, okay. Every day. I mean, it depends on the bottle.

[Drew]

But, like, imagine it's like, only take one a week. I've literally already taken five.

[Kai]

No. Yeah, you should be good. Probiotics are lit, though. You're just eating, like, a bunch of bacteria.

[Drew]

It's kind of crazy. I know. It probably doesn't help that, like. Like, what I'm eating with it, too, is, like, all the kind of things that make you Your little butt out.

[Kai]

Yeah. Takis hot Cheetos.

[Drew]

I haven't had a hot Cheeto or Taki in a minute. I don't like.

[Kai]

Oh, I ate so much in Texas. It's so bad, dude. When I go back to Texas, I literally lay in bed at, like, 1 or 2am and what I do is I go to 711 because there's a new 711 in town. I go buy a ton.

[Drew]

711 in town.

[Kai]

I have to get a chocolate. She literally just moved in. I have to get a chocolate. I have to get a sweet or a sour, which is typically like a gummy worm or a sweet tart situation. Then I have to get, like, a cakey item. So I get like, one of those Hostess with the white swirl on top.

[Drew]

I was like a cake item.

[Kai]

Yeah. And then I get a bag of hot chips. So whether that's like, Takis hot Cheetos, hot fries. One of those, and I get a big bag of those. And then on top of that, I also get the cheddar cheese Ruffles, and I eat that bag on the way home.

[Drew]

You know what's so nasty about Drew is like, okay, I was talking to Orion about this, and she doesn't really care for it, but she agrees with me. Drew. Okay.

[Kai]

Damn. So you are talking shit.

[Drew]

Hot Topic.

[Kai]

Damn.

[Drew]

Hot Topic. Hot take. You are supposed to eat your snacks from savory to sweet and end. That is how you're supposed to do it. No, that is how Michelin star chefs feed you. They give you savory, and then they end it with sweet. Drew will have all of his snacks open and eat, like, a handful of gummy bears and then throw chips in his mouth right after, and then take a sip of a Dr. Pepper and then have a bite of cake and go for more hot Cheetos like, he literally. Like, his teeth have a crazy mix of gunk stuck in there.

[Kai]

You know why I do that? It's because I like to, like, level out my flavors in my mouth. Because if I eat all the sweets and then I move to the chocolate, then, like, I'm not going to be able to balance out that chocolate acidity from the sweets.

[Drew]

Savory. You're gonna.

[Kai]

Exactly. Or just, like, all around. So, like, I like to balance it out and have, like, an even level of flavors all the way through.

[Drew]

No, you're literally swee. Supposed to have the savory thing until your body is now craving a sweet because you had so much savory, and then you ended off with a sweet, and then you drink water.

[Kai]

But I don't like having a sweet mouth after.

[Drew]

But why do you drink a Pepsi? To finish it off. He's like, I don't want a sweet mouth after. But he gets a doctor. A vanilla Dr. Pepper to.

[Kai]

Yeah. I've never had a vanilla cream Dr. Pepper. Like, sue me, put me in jail. Because I saw it at cvs and I was like, you know what? I'm gonna try this.

[Drew]

How was it?

[Kai]

I haven't tried it.

[Drew]

Oh, my God.

[Kai]

Well, no, I save it so I can have it for, like, a good moment. Like, tonight, I'm gonna eat that Dr. Pepper or drink that Dr. Pepper and eat my peppers. Like, it's gonna be nice.

[Drew]

That's your dinner?

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Yesterday, Drew's dinner was sour gummy worms.

[Kai]

Well, the very, very. The very berry flavor.

[Drew]

Is there a difference?

[Kai]

Yeah, it was, like, a very berry mix.

[Drew]

Oh, so there was no yellow and, like, green ones. Fudge. The yellow and green gummy worms. Are you kidding me?

[Kai]

I, like, agree, but also, I don't agree.

[Drew]

Come bounce on mama's lap. Okay, okay. But, yeah, if you drink the fucking. If you eat the yellow and green gummy worms by choice. Like, if, like, you open up a bag of gummy worms and those are your ones that. Oh, no one's doing that, bitch.

[Kai]

No one is doing that. If you're doing that, leave a comment, and you and I will.

[Drew]

She's doing it.

[Kai]

And the thing is, is you are a freak, and I will find that comment, and I will berate you for it, because that is weirdo. Behav. Weirdo.

[Drew]

We're gonna dox you.

[Kai]

We're gonna find your IP address and leak it.

[Drew]

I'm gonna call your job and be like, this freak.

[Kai]

Yeah. Because that is honestly weirdo behavior. But I do agree. But I Do like the. I like them sometimes, but not like.

[Drew]

No, those are nasty. They shouldn't even be in the pack.

[Kai]

I'm not even. I'm not like tapping in to eat those though. I'm tapping in to eat the blue and red one. And that's why I got the very berry pack, because it's is the lunches.

[Drew]

Here's something I. I remembered. This was a voice to text thing I said in bed at 4:13am I.

[Kai]

Said it in bed.

[Drew]

I said, we need to start prepping and warning women that they will not be seeing their ex in the next ten years ever again. You will not date that person again because you will not want to be back with that motherfucker. You will never see them in the next life. Or what does our next life even mean? You will never date him again. Do not date him again. You're fucking 18.

[Kai]

Real. Um, real.

[Drew]

Because that is literally like. It's comical how everyone's first relationship, it's like a mirror. Like everybody's first relationship, they have the same exact experience. Like, at the end of it, everybody has like the, like the denial of like, no, we're going to work it out. We're going to work it out. It's going to work out. It's fine, it's fine. I could fix this. I could fix him. Like, I'm going to fix this. No, you break up. You always try to make friends. Like, you always try to be like, what? We're going to be friends. We're going to be so, so slay and friends. And then it doesn't work out. And then it's like, you know what? In our next life, like, let's circle, girl.

[Kai]

What does that mean?

[Drew]

Like, you're my. You know what? We have good stuff here. Let's circle back in 10 years. I don't have any business talking to you when I'm 30. I have a job, literally. For what? Like what? But we need to start prepping people because I think I.

[Kai]

No, I think you should have hope. I think you should love yourself and have hope.

[Drew]

Yeah, girl. Once you start to loving yourself, you're gonna be like, wait a minute, let's dissect what that.

[Kai]

Love yourself. Love yourself.

[Drew]

Because also, like, it's just so funny because you get out of that first big relationship and everybody looks back and.

[Kai]

Is like, oh, that was really toxic.

[Drew]

That was not good.

[Kai]

Like, like any relationship that you've gotten back together with your partner three or four times, like babes, call it quit. Just give up.

[Drew]

Call it.

[Kai]

Please, please. I'm begging you, just give up, move on.

[Drew]

But I. I wish I remember what I tik tok, where, like, someone was like. They were talking about breaking up, and it was like, maybe one day we'll get back together. And I'm like, no, you won't. What are you talking about?

[Kai]

Look, we come here to be real, and we tell you the truth. Okay?

[Drew]

Y' all. Y' all are. Be real. Be. Be real this. Time to be real. Time to be real. That on an application. I'm apply. You're on an app. I'm applying it to my real life.

[Kai]

The Iroquois. Easy. Hold it down, hold it down, hold it down.

[Drew]

But that was one of my notes that I had, and then it was the diarrhea from my chlorophyll.

[Kai]

You know what I am to this podcast? I'm literally just a soundboard. Like, you click. You. You know the soundboard where you click.

[Drew]

The button except no one's clicking. Shit, bitch. You just do it.

[Kai]

But no, I know. That's what I'm saying. I take it into my own hands, and I click the soundboard.

[Drew]

Well, what's the next sound?

[Kai]

I don't have one. I literally froze just now. The Drew. They're spreading the Drew. They're sp.

[Drew]

Word trying to come out of your mouth. You Drew.

[Kai]

Drew. Drew. This druth that. Drew. Drewth. Drewth.

[Drew]

Sometimes you gross me out.

[Kai]

You. Well, this will gross you out even more. So on my flight to Texas, like, I was like, oh, this is going to be an easy flight. It's only like, three hours. Like, it's chill, whatever. And I, like, got on the flight, and every single time I get on an airplane, I've said this a million times, but the fucking hum of the engines, like, put me to sleep. Like, with. Before we even take off, I am asleep. But for some reason, this time, I was like, I'm gonna try to stay awake. And I was literally like. Like, nodding off. Like. And I was, like, forcing myself to stay awake. And I am sure the girl next to me who had monkeypox. We'll get into that later. Was like, literally, this man is on drugs. Like, what is wrong with him, girl?

[Drew]

She thought you had monkeypox. You were experiencing extreme fatigue and fighting for your life.

[Kai]

Well, okay, okay. We'll get into it in a second. We'll get into it. Damn. Shut up. Damn. So I'm like, okay, I want to at least stay awake for the drink cart and the. The pretzels. So I stay awake. And I'm like, fuck, yes. Like it's coming, but then I fall asleep as it's passing by me. And they pass by me and I don't get my soda and I'm like, oh my God. But by the grace of God, she like, looked around and saw that I was awake. And she was like, because you can't hear anybody on the fucking airplane because it's loud as fuck. And I was like, yes, get me a Coca Cola. So she was like, can or ice? And I was like, give me the can. And the. I. Bad decision. So I got the can of soda and I opened it and I had my can, my cup of ice, and I set it down for a second because, like, damn, I'm like really tired. So I just set it there and then I nodded off and I fell asleep with the open coke in my hands, completely full, had not had a single sip of it. And I'm like sitting there and I like fall asleep. And then like 10 minutes go by and like, I feel like the can like in my hand, like crushing. And I'm like, whatever, like I don't care. And I'm still asleep. And then I wake up to like coke all over me and all over. No, like, literally, like it had spilled all over me. Like I. It like it like fell over and just sprayed all over me and all over my pants and my ass. And like, thank God I was wearing camo pants, so it just looked like a part of the thing. But if I was wearing these jeans, it fully would have looked like I had shit and pissed myself all over. Like, literally. It was crazy. And like the girl next to me was like, so pissed. But I was like, I don't give a fuck because you literally have monkey pox. Like, I'm not joking. And she also brought a fucking pillow on the airplane that was all over me. And one of the ways monkeypox is fucking spread is through fabrics and bedding. And she brought her fucking pillow on the airplane. We need to ban pillows from airplanes. Like, don't even know.

[Drew]

Yeah, real life sized pillows are like, crazy.

[Kai]

But the reason, the reason I she's not beating these monkeypox allegations is because she had a sore on her thigh. And I sent a picture to you and it looked like a monkeypox. It was scary as fuck.

[Drew]

Well, do you have it? So now you have it.

[Kai]

I don't get acne, and I got something pop up right here five days later.

[Drew]

Now what?

[Kai]

So I think I have it.

[Drew]

If you gave it to me, I would fucking beat the shit out of you.

[Kai]

Well, I'm literally, I would go into.

[Drew]

Your room at night and I would fucking cut open all your lesions and pour fucking salt and vinegar, and you.

[Kai]

Would probably fix me.

[Drew]

So thank you.

[Kai]

Yeah, actually, thank you for healing me. But no, there's no way I'm gonna get it because I'm celibate.

[Drew]

That's, like, not gonna. That's not gonna protect you. What you need to do is probably just like, stay in your room. And then, like, when we go out as friends, like, you should honestly just stay back. Like, it's the best way to protect yourself.

[Kai]

Wait, no. So you know how Kai was like, drew, you predicted Monkeypox. It wasn't even me. It was you.

[Drew]

You're welcome, y' all. You're welcome.

[Kai]

So, Kai, you're a liar.

[Orion]

I'm not a liar.

[Drew]

Did someone clip it?

[Kai]

No, I went back to the episode because I was like, did I actually say that? Because there's literally no way. I do not remember.

[Drew]

You know what's crazy is I don't know how I came up with that, because I, before this, had never heard of monkey pox.

[Kai]

Yeah, you just pulled it out of your ass. But no, you were just like. You said something about it within the first, like two minutes of the episode, and I was like, it wasn't me. It wasn't me.

[Drew]

Yeah, it was me. Is that when we had our flea bites? Yeah, dude. It doesn't help that there was a spider in my room. Dude, it was eating me up. Like, so I have like two bites from a spider and I've been getting a bunch of spider bites, but this has been going on for the past like four months that a spider has been living in my room. And I wake up with these crazy spider bites. And I'm always like, oh, my God, it's a spider bite. And everybody's like, no, it's like a mosquito bite that got like, infected or something. Like, no, bitch, this is a big ass spider bite. And it was a spider because we found it and it was humongous.

[Kai]

It was like a quarter of an inch. It was not humongous.

[Drew]

It was big as fuck.

[Kai]

And it was like, drew, if you don't fucking get this bug or if you don't get this spider, I'm killing it. I was like, do not kill that spider. He deserves to live.

[Drew]

Yeah, right.

[Kai]

He's.

[Drew]

Who? Says who?

[Kai]

Where are the 2022 flies in our house with the fucking keys? They're not in here because of that spider cleaning.

[Drew]

No, that's cuz a zool will be chomping them. We have a zool. We don't need spiders.

[Kai]

No, I. But the. I take this. I don't let the spiders live in the house. I do have one that lives in my bedroom that I see crawling across my ceiling at night. And I'm just like, dude, like I like want to get you out of here so bad. But like, you're literally not biting me or harming me and you're probably eating other flies. So I'm like, whatever, you can live in here. But that fly or that spider bit you and it deserved to die, but I didn't want to die die. So I took it outside. But I was gonna say Ryan caught.

[Drew]

It cuz she put her in the worst way of. Like she had a mason jar full of water in my room and she put it on top of it. And I came home at night after the gym and I was like walking.

[Kai]

Cuz I was surprised it was still.

[Drew]

Orion always does this and it drives me crazy. But I've never brought it up to her, so like, how would she know? But I feel like we need to.

[Kai]

Do an Orion episode before we leave.

[Drew]

I know. I feel like even if I said this, it wouldn't get fixed. But every time she fucking comes over and spends the night, she unplugs my Siri. Because she unplugs it so she could plug a charger in there. But she always takes her charger and never plugs my Siri back. Which makes it like so hard for me to maneuver around my room. Because how I turn on my lights is I'm like, hey, Siri, turn on the lights. So she leaves it unplugged. And the mason jar was right there. And she had told me she was like, be careful for the mason jar. But I forgot. I came home, went to go plug in my thing and was like maneuvering in the dark and I spilled the cup. And that's why I was screaming.

[Kai]

Yeah, because I was like yelling.

[Drew]

I was like, my feet are wet and now a spider is going to be on me. And I was freaking out.

[Kai]

No, the spider is alive and well and in the front yard.

[Drew]

No, it probably got put outside and got eaten by something else like immediately that.

[Kai]

Well, I was going to say I went after I spilled the coke on me. I just didn't shower that night because I kind of like my sticky ass.

[Drew]

You are like so fucking disgusting.

[Kai]

I actually did shower. I literally did.

[Drew]

You didn't shower Yesterday, Drew came home with stinky airport body and just put no hear this. He came home, he. He didn't shower. Not only that, but then he just slept in his gym clothes again for the next morning.

[Kai]

So he like, I sleep in my clothes the night before so I don't have to wake up earlier to put them on.

[Drew]

That's what I just said. You slept in your gym clothes for.

[Kai]

The morning, but you're. It sounds like they're dirty. They're clean gym clothes. But I don't sleep. I don't shower before the gym because I'm like, girl, I'm gonna getting nasty and sweaty.

[Drew]

But he spent the whole day in Disney shower and he didn't go to the gym yesterday.

[Kai]

Girl, okay, I like the way my balls smell. Is that what you want to hear? Because I literally do, like, my balls smell delicious. I'm not kidding. They do. And every time you come in my room, you're like, damn, you have nice pheromones. You're smelling my balls.

[Drew]

I never say that to you. You're putting that in your house. Your fake candle, your fig candle is.

[Kai]

What smells good mixed with my balls.

[Drew]

No. You know who has, like, a good, like, scent? The Ovalle family. They do those smell good as they.

[Kai]

Wash the out of their clothes?

[Drew]

Josh's natural scent. Josh slays with his natural scent. He's like, never stinky to me. Yeah, you on other hand.

[Kai]

Have I smelled that before?

[Drew]

No, I've actually never smelled you. Maybe there was like, once, but, like, it was after, like, we did something like, exercise wise. And I feel like it was, like, more funny than it was. Like, you stunk, like, but you've never. I've never, like, gotten in the car with you. Bitch, if I got in the car with you and I smell your musty.

[Kai]

Ass, I'd be like, you're luring. Get out.

[Drew]

Yeah, I'm like, go inside and take a shower.

[Kai]

The craziest thing is I've trained my body not to smell because I just don't shower.

[Drew]

I thought you liked the stink of your balls, but now you don't stink.

[Kai]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. If you don't shower as often, you'll stop getting back knee and your body won't stink.

[Drew]

I do.

[Kai]

Same with washing your hair. That's a real thing. Don't wash your hair.

[Drew]

Okay, the hair thing, yes. But, like, do not, like, make it seem like it is okay to go, like, days without washing your body, because that is, like, nasty.

[Kai]

This is literally like someone's like, scientific research or some. I don't know. Don't ask me. For sources, because I'm literally just speaking out of my ass. Like, shut the up. But like, there was this picture set going around that like, color is leaving the world. Like, literally like the rainbow is leaving. And it's because, like, brands are trying to like, make everything hyper consumable. So like, like white, gray, like houses, like little boxes made of ticky, tacky, like that type of vibe. And like, if you look at like interior design, like, everything is like, like black and white and gray and maybe some tan in it. And like color is literally disappearing in the world. Like all of our cars are black and white now. And like they were like someone in their tick tock was saying, like. And it's like crazy because, like, I don't know, it's not important. It's not important. But colors disappearing, it is.

[Orion]

It is crazy to see, like, some of the richest people on earth live in a house that basically just looks like penitentiary.

[Kai]

It's so weird. It is so weird.

[Drew]

I think that kind of like, like for some people it works and it feels authentic, but so much of it feels like, dude, it's literally like the Kardashian like, like delusion of wealth. It's like I've always said that it's like, it's literally like this like, delusion that because like, you see someone, which I understand because I've fallen victim to it. I feel like anybody who doesn't come from like, like an elite status of wealth, like, you look to that for like, okay, what feels like good.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

And it's crazy how like, that's just like bled out into like everything.

[Kai]

It's that and also like hyper consumerism. Like all of these brands, like, like making their logos from like cute, like their old school logos, and now all of them are literally the same font. Like in the video, she had like a side by side of like all of these brands are just becoming like, hyper consumable. So like anybody and everybody can buy it and wear it and look good in it instead of like making like, clothes that like, take risks and shit like that. Like, they're making things like a black T shirt with their logo on it and people will buy it.

[Drew]

Even Ninja changed his logo.

[Kai]

I know that because of the Ninja isn't. Doesn't have blue hair anymore.

[Drew]

Ninja. No, Ninja literally did like fucking Yassify minimalize his fucking.

[Kai]

Really?

[Drew]

Logo? Yes. It went from like, his head. Like that whole thing.

[Kai]

What if your shirt says 69 instead of 68? It would be like 69. Like we could like, talk about that. Or something. The only reason I noticed it was because I was looking at your boobs.

[Drew]

I know.

[Kai]

Do you ever catch me looking at your boobs?

[Drew]

No. But yesterday when I walked in your room, it was. I don't think you were actually looking at my cootie. But when I was walking in your room, you were on the floor, and you were, like, just staring at me, and your eyes were right to my.

[Kai]

No, I was looking at it, and I was looking at it.

[Drew]

I almost made comment on it, but I was like, Drew's, like, not looking at my big ass cooch. And even if he is, like, it's in a way that's like, damn, girl. Like, put that big thing away.

[Kai]

No, no, it wasn't like that. What?

[Drew]

I don't think I've caught you looking at my. I don't think any of my. I haven't caught any of my looking at you in a weird way for looking at my.

[Kai]

Like, he was just staring at you. It was creepy.

[Drew]

Well, that's because Kai's, like, in love with me, and it's, like, kind of sad because it's like. Like, what is he to.

[Kai]

Do you want what you can't have?

[Orion]

I will say it is very sad. My life is very sad. Thank you.

[Drew]

Why are you. Why are you, like, why do you want, like, what. You're gonna hurt him? Why are you sympathizing with him over that? Oh, you can have him. You can have him. Nobody else wants him. You can literally have him.

[Orion]

That's true. Nobody else wants me. Drew. Do you want me, Kai?

[Kai]

I want you.

[Drew]

So that he had to think about it. So, like, let that rest now. If he wanted to, he would. Way later, if he wanted to, he would. That's the thing is.

[Kai]

Wait, but that's, like, real.

[Drew]

Let's be real. He just doesn't want to.

[Kai]

He just isn't thinking about you.

[Drew]

Yeah, like, let's be real. He doesn't want to. And that goes for me. That goes for you. Like, we all have to disagree. Like.

[Kai]

Like, they want their video games. Like, I'm gonna be the worst. I'm gonna be so bad in a relationship. Like, I know literally, I, like, don't want to see my partner ever. I never want to see them. I literally just want to hang out with them maybe once a week. And then also, like, I like buying people things, but I hate seeing them open the things that I give them. So I would, like, maybe get gifts and put it somewhere. I don't know.

[Orion]

So you would, like, get a drone that drops off.

[Drew]

Wait, why don't you, like, watching people open the gifts? Is it because, like, you hate.

[Kai]

Like, I just put a reaction in my head, and when I don't get that reaction, I'm like, they hate it.

[Drew]

Yeah, I. I get. I don't like people watching me open anything or, like, receive anything because I don't give. I don't think I give, like, good reactions, like, because I get. I literally get performance anxiety. I'm like, well, now I'm like, I have to, like, give. Like, I have to jump up and click my heels. Oh, my God. And then I'm like, that's too big of a reaction. And then I can't gauge what a good reaction for the gift is. So I'm just like, oh, my God. Thank you.

[Kai]

We brought Kai to tears with our gift.

[Orion]

Very small tear.

[Kai]

I'm.

[Orion]

I mean, I'm normal. I don't actually cry when I get kids.

[Drew]

That is normal. It's normal.

[Orion]

Men are. Shouldn't do stuff like that.

[Kai]

Men are allowed to cry.

[Drew]

What is it, Boys cry too? No. Boys cry.

[Kai]

Boys don't cry.

[Drew]

What?

[Kai]

Oh, my God. Well, yeah, men shouldn't cry.

[Drew]

Like, what are you a.

[Kai]

Or something? Like, don't cry.

[Drew]

Wait, Boys Don't Cry?

[Kai]

It was weird when you cried.

[Orion]

There was a small, masculine tear. Very small.

[Kai]

No, it was really cute.

[Drew]

What the Is the name of that book? Is it Boys Don't Cry?

[Kai]

Yeah. Men Don't Cry? No, Boys Don't Cry. It's Boys Don't Cry.

[Drew]

Yeah. Why did I think it was Boys Cry Too? My book Boys Cry Too.

[Kai]

I have an open copy and an unopened copy because I want to.

[Orion]

I get that anxiety to, like, is he okay?

[Drew]

He did a naughty. You did a naughty. You little naughty boy. Mama's gonna spank you. Yeah, yeah. I don't care.

[Kai]

I don't give a. Like, that's the thing is I don't care.

[Drew]

I don't know that I care.

[Kai]

Like, I don't care. You know what actually has been eating me alive is, like, okay, we all know the world is ending. Like, can we shut the fuck up about it? Like, the earth is spinning faster now. Like, okay, shut the fuck up. I don't care. Literally, Monkeypox is happening. Okay, shut the fuck up. I don't care if I shut the fuck up. I don't care.

[Drew]

I'm like, we. We need to stop telling me about things I can't fix because it's just giving me, like, impending doom anxiety. And, like, I've already Been having, like, awful anxiety, and, like, the Internet is just making it look so much worse. And part of me, I understand. I'm like, yes, it is good to know about things, but I'm like, at what rate?

[Kai]

At what cost?

[Drew]

Like, I do not need to know everything everywhere all at once like, that. I don't need to know. Like, why. Why do I know what's happening, like, 5,000 miles away? Like, I don't.

[Kai]

I don't care. Enough. Enough.

[Drew]

I'm like. Like, no, I don't need to know that there's no three new deadly diseases out to get me, because also then I feel like it's out to get me. Like, it's. It is going to happen to me. It is inevitable. That happens to me and only me. And I don't need it. And I don't. I don't want to talk about it.

[Kai]

Like, the economy is ruined. We know this. We don't care. The USD is collapsing. We don't care.

[Drew]

I don't know what that means, and that's okay.

[Kai]

I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. It's, like, driving me fucking insane.

[Drew]

As long as my mama and papa are happy, I'm chilling.

[Kai]

Literally, like, as long.

[Drew]

That's how I gauge my reality. I'm not kidding. It's like, if my parents are chilling, like, yeah, I had a call with my dad the other day, and, like, I was just asking, like, how he is and everything. And, like, he was just so fine. And I was like, okay, the world isn't ending. Like, because for, like, somebody who has, like. Because that's. The other thing is, like, this is a privilege in itself that, like, I don't have. Have many things to worry about. So, like, of course I get, like, extremely, like, spiked up by the things I see. But my parents are still in a position where they have, like, a million and ten other things to be, like, actually, like, freaked out about. And I'm like, if they have all that to be freaked out about, and they're still chilling. Breathe.

[Kai]

Breathe.

[Drew]

The famous words of Derek. Breathe.

[Orion]

I think it's, like, it's our responsibility to just figure out what affects us, because that.

[Kai]

And yet. Stop. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

[Orion]

All right, Drew, can I try? You hit me harder this time.

[Drew]

Oh, was I not hard?

[Orion]

That's good.

[Kai]

Wow.

[Orion]

Okay, one more.

[Drew]

Okay, stop. He's bleeding. He has a nosebleed.

[Orion]

Dude, it is so hot in here. It's actually.

[Kai]

I know the ac.

[Drew]

You said it was our responsibility to.

[Orion]

Figure out it is because this will never end. Like the, the fear mongering in the news.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Orion]

Never end for the rest.

[Kai]

When will we start rewarding like happy news? Like it when we stop rewarding and like giving people money for telling us that the worst thing in the world is happening right now. Everybody's anxieties, levels, anxiety levels will go down. Like, I'm. Yes, I need to know that the world is ending. Like I'm, I'm aware of that. I need to know that climate change is happening at an alarming rate. Like what am I supposed to do.

[Drew]

When are flying jets from one end of the city to the other?

[Kai]

I know. What am I like, what is, what is that like my knowledge on that actually doing for anything.

[Drew]

Here's the thing. I heard if Mrs. Taylor invited you on the jet you're getting on.

[Kai]

No, I literally, I texted let's talk about I DM Jordan and I was like, the way I'm gonn infiltrate Taylor's friend group just to get on this private jet that's like all over and I want to post a picture from it so bad. Like literally so bad. I think it was so funny. And then also make a documentary on it. Like, like finding Taylor's jet or something.

[Drew]

Finding Taylor Also with all this being said, I don't want it to come off that I'm like, we shouldn't know anything. I understand. I want to make it very clear. I understand. And I do know that like having open source news that is like more unbiased than the news stations that our fucking parents had is good. I understand that, but it's too much. And also the misinformation is kind of crazy. I'm like, now every bitch with doctor in her name is on TikTok talking to me. Miss, you're an OB GYN.

[Kai]

Wait, I watch this documentary.

[Drew]

Why are you telling me?

[Kai]

I watched this documentary called Our Father. No, that was crazy. Have you heard of it, Kai?

[Orion]

No. What is that?

[Kai]

Oh my God. I don't want to spoil it because I want everybody to go into it with like fresh eyes. I will say it was like, like a little disingenuous and like, like making light of a situation that like is really gnarly. And the documentary wasn't done the best. Like it was like a little like, not offensive. But there's like a word there that I'm missing that I was just like, like it's a little weird that you would make a documentary on, like maybe a little ignorant. Yeah. Or I don't know. But it's about, like. I just don't want to say anything because I went into it completely blind. And, like, I was. I haven't had my jaw dropped from a documentary like this ever in my life. Like, I was like. And it was just one after another. Like, it just kept going and going. And I was like. I was like, are you fucking kidding me? And this dude is just like. Like, like is free. Like, I don't know. It was. It was really.

[Drew]

I need to watch that. And I need to watch the Mormon document.

[Kai]

Yes, I know. I need to watch that.

[Drew]

We should watch that after this because I'm down. Yeah, but I have to play Fortnite.

[Kai]

So, like, I'll go to the smoke shop, get the bong. You play Fortnite?

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Happy birthday, Devin.

[Drew]

We're filming this on Devin's birthday. And that even that, like, doesn't clarify it at all. Like, us being like, we have to go get the bong first. And then, oh, happy birthday, Devin.

[Kai]

Yeah, well, that's a little secret for us to keep.

[Drew]

That's inside. That's insider trading secrets. Oh, okay. I have to squash this before it, like, gets too crazy. But whoever is starting the rumor that I give, like, the best head in the greater Los Angeles area, in the Tri State area, needs to stop. Not because it's not true, but just because that puts, like, an immense amount of pressure on me and then really gnarly for her. Yeah. Because then when I, like, I already, like, have to carry the burden of giving really good head and not being, like, a known thing within my.

[Kai]

Like, we circle, we have had so many conversations. Like, I'm actually fucking tearing up about it right now because it's just, like, it really is hard that you have to live with the throat go. Like, you are the throat go. And now that people know it, it's so much pressure.

[Drew]

Like, I don't know what to do with it. And honestly, it gives me performance anxiety because now I'm going into the ring and I'm like, oh, my God. Okay. Like, is my hair up? Like, am I good? Are my chains, like, tucked like, so they. They're not in my way?

[Kai]

Like, like, you're good. And every time you freak out about it, you come out the other side and you're like, damn. Like, that was better than the last. You know? Like.

[Drew]

I know, I know. But yeah, you guys have to stop it because, like, also, like, so many people are, like, trying to, like, tap in, and it's just like, I'm like, I'm Booked. I'm, like, literally too busy to, like, get anybody else in there.

[Kai]

Drake. Ew.

[Drew]

No, I actually can't. That, like, I genuinely thought about that. I was gonna go on, like, a.

[Kai]

Nasty ramp, but, like, no, he's not. I know it. I know for a fact there.

[Drew]

There is, like, a picture of, like, a guy who, like, has the similar build to him, who's, like, has his back turned to the camera and his butt naked. And, like, I was again, I was like, dude, one. Drake is, like, a big man, but, like, not in the way that I find a big man attractive. He's like a bigger man in the sense I'm like, ew. You, like, work out.

[Kai]

You love yourself so much.

[Drew]

Yeah. I'm like, that's so embarrass. You work out and you, like, stare in the mirror.

[Kai]

Yep.

[Drew]

Get a grip. Get a grip.

[Kai]

Well, that's a YouTube video. That's literally me now. I'm, like, becoming that. I, like, look at myself in the mirror and, like, I'm like, yeah.

[Drew]

When I go to workout classes, I do my very best to not look in the mirror.

[Kai]

Look at that.

[Drew]

Because it freaks me out.

[Kai]

It's crazy how big I am. Like, it's crazy.

[Orion]

You did not hear a word that you just said.

[Kai]

Huh?

[Orion]

You're just, like, looking at your own body, and then we're not here.

[Kai]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Orion]

Let me see your biceps. Can you flex? Pull those out. Damn.

[Drew]

Me. Next.

[Orion]

I feel like your guys's biceps are, like, similar size, honestly.

[Drew]

Oh, you made him mad. Like, why are you so mad being compared to a woman? Like, why is that so.

[Kai]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Orion]

Why is that even bad? Why is it even bad?

[Drew]

Wow. Wow.

[Orion]

What is he doing? What is he doing?

[Drew]

Is he crying? Drew?

[Orion]

No, no. He walked in there, and he was smiling, and then I looked over, and he put on, like, a fake sad face. Come on.

[Drew]

Drew got a fucking water flosser and kept squirting me with it yesterday while I was doing the laundry.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

He was squirting all over me.

[Kai]

Yes.

[Drew]

Yeah. And I slipped in it and I fell and I broke my two front teeth.

[Kai]

I can't tell if it's right now purchase yet.

[Drew]

The water flosser, it feels pretty, like, random.

[Kai]

It hurts me really bad. It makes me bleed. Like, floss makes me bleed.

[Drew]

I need that maybe because I think I floss too aggressively. I'm, like, a really aggressive. Like, also, I'll squash it right now because everybody has always wondered, why did I take out my smiley piercing? I took it out because since I got Like, a really big one. Juror's hitting a jewel right now, and he's embarrassed, so he's turning.

[Kai]

She has a really big one.

[Drew]

I got a really big one. So it would, like, sit slanted. And it made the gums on my left big tooth raise the tiniest bit. And that really scared me because I'm already a really, like, rough toothbrusher because I give such good head that sometimes when I'm like, yeah, you get the deal. And I do that with wiener, too. But I, like, brush my teeth way too hard, and that can lead to, like, your gums raising. And then I just got really paranoid about it. And basically, what I'm trying to say is I need to go to the dentist, which I'm going to tomorrow, and they're probably going to tell me that I have, like, four cavities, and then my wisdom teeth are infected and that, like, I have.

[Kai]

Have gingivitis.

[Drew]

Yeah, gingivitis, tonsil stones, and, like, I don't know what else. I don't know what else. And gum disease.

[Orion]

Yeah, I'm good.

[Kai]

You just, like, fell.

[Orion]

No, no, I was just, like, stretching my neck.

[Kai]

What are you stretching your neck for?

[Orion]

What do you think, Drew, what we do after every episode?

[Kai]

Say it, don't say it.

[Orion]

I throw the out of you in the back of the apartment while Anya's playing Fortnite and has no idea what's going on.

[Kai]

Why would you tell her that?

[Drew]

Yeah, I don't. I didn't need to know that. Now you're gonna with my game because I'm gonna be playing and be scared for my life that that's what you guys are doing.

[Kai]

Oh, look, one of my hairs is in the mic.

[Drew]

Cool ending to an episode. Like, what? Oh, it's not what just happened.

[Kai]

It's not over. It's not over until.

[Drew]

It's not over till I say it's over. Me and Orion are so Lana Del Rey vinyl vibes. You know what? I actually won't even say what we.

[Kai]

Wait, bitch, stop. I had a Lana Del Rey, Lana Del Pickle ray.

[Drew]

Wait, I can't even say what we've been getting into because me and Ryan were talking about it, and, like, I was like, not us, because we were also granted crossfaded when we were talking about this. I was like, not us. Sounding like every fucking friends group who's like, no, we need a movie. Like, we need a show.

[Kai]

We need a show.

[Drew]

But I do want us to, like, start writing down the things we do, because me and Orion Are like, this is. Again, I know this sounds so annoying. And maybe we'll, like, get into a few of the, like, little shenanigans we get into together when we have her on. But, like, we do things that later on we're like, wait, why was that so literally, Lana Del Rey vinyl slay. Yeah, like, why was that so Tumblr, gif, Reblog.

[Kai]

I cannot believe at the same time you were living your Lana Del Rey fantasy, I was also doing it. And it was not, like, talked about between us, but I was sitting in my school parking lot listening to Lana Del Rey.

[Drew]

I know I wasn't talked about because I thought I was gonna date you.

[Kai]

No, no, no. I mean, like this past few days.

[Drew]

Oh, I thought you meant when we were teenagers. I was like, girl, I know why I didn't think you were a lot of fan. Like, I can name a few reasons.

[Kai]

No, no, no, I. We were living our Lana Del Rey fantasies at the same time.

[Drew]

Oh, yeah.

[Kai]

This past few days. And it was lit. I like, freaked out in the parking lot. I was like, holy shit, this is the best album ever made.

[Drew]

Simply Born to Die.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

And honestly, Ultra Violence are like, you can't. You can't.

[Kai]

Don't compete where you don't compare.

[Drew]

Also, I've said it once and I'll say it again. True or True Romance by Charlie. I always almost say Chemical Romance, but it's True Romance by Charli xcx. That album. Are you kidding me?

[Kai]

It's like a dog, like Paradise.

[Drew]

No one compares to you. There's only you. Oh, my God. I don't wanna wake up from this tonight. Oh, my God. Wait, no. Oh. Like, the thing is, I remember when I was. I've said this also before. I'm just repeating. I don't give a. You, you and your mom and you're ugly and you smell like sweaty balls farts.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

But I remember when I was, like 17 and I would see, like 25 year olds talking about, like, oh, my God, like, I miss being like a teenager. There was just something so, like, sweet about that. And I was like, grow the up. You are so weird. What the are you talking about right now? As if I don't listen to old music. And I'm like. Like, I actually, I. I would rather fucking die two times over than be 15 again. Because it was genuinely like the worst time of my life and so boring. But the feelings. The feelings, because they were all so new.

[Kai]

It was so wrong, visceral, real. It was all happening. And the world Wasn't ending yet.

[Drew]

Yeah. Also to be fair, like, I say that right now as if I don't think back to being, like, 20. And I feel like that about being 20. So, like, I'm just literally, like, I am one of those people, which I feel like most people our age are now, where, like, I cannot enjoy the now for the goddamn fucking life of me. Like, I cannot. It's rare. I'm in a moment and I'm like, no, that's kind of a lie. Like, I find myself being grateful for being in moments, but I enjoy things so much better at least two days later. Yeah, a week later, I were talking about that. We're like. I was like, dude, when we were walking around together, I was like, literally, this is going to be, like, the kind of things we think about when we're, like, 40 and we're hanging out together and we're like, oh, my God. Like, we were, like, just young and, like, doing shit. And then she was like, bitch, I'm going to feel like that in two days. And I was like, sure.

[Kai]

There was, like, seven months where I was like, oh, like, I'm, like, living in the moment. This is the best life ever. I, like, I'm so grateful for everything that I have. And then, like, in the last, like, two months, like, for some reason, I have been, like, the most scared of literally everything ever.

[Drew]

No, I feel that.

[Kai]

Like, me and you both, when you were talking about it last night, I was like, dude, like, now that I think about it, like. Like, something also happened to me where I'm like, dude, like, I am, like, like, freaked out about everything. Like, everything all the time. And I'm like. Like, I'm freaked out about my future. Like, and I. For, like, seven months, I was like, dude, like, I don't give a. But, like, all of a sudden, now I care. I'm like, girl, no.

[Drew]

And what's sad is it's not even a care in the way that, like, I would like for it to be a care. It's a care in a way that, like, I feel impending doom. And not even just, like, because of news. It's literally. I. Like, I spoke to my therapist about it. Like, come on. And I will be seeing a psychiatrist, but I'm seeing a psychiatrist in a way that, like. So basically, I spoke to my therapist, and we came to the conclusion that, like, I think what would help me is validation on, like, the, like, anxiety. And I've been feeling. Because I've been feeling, like. And I think I mentioned this a Few episodes ago, I've been feeling, like, intense anxiety like I've never had before. I've never been, like, a super anxious person. Like, I've definitely had anxiety, but not the way it is now. Like, now it's almost, like, debilitating. Like, Drew went out of town, and I was home alone for three days. And I enjoyed, like, being alone, but there was, like, a part of, like, this anxiety that came with it that, like, when I had to leave the house, it took me. I wish this was a joke, like, two hours to, like, muster up the courage to actually stand up and leave the house. Like, I was like. I was like, okay. Like, I was fully ready to go, and I was like, I'm gonna leave. But then I was like, dude, I'm gonna leave, and I'm gonna get killed. I'm gonna leave, and I'm gonna die. I'm gonna leave, and this is gonna happen. I'm gonna leave. And the fires. The stove is on. I'm gonna leave and, like, azula, eat something that kills her. Like, the way my brain, like, attacks me, and then I freak out and spiral into almost a panic attack. But, like, I don't. I don't get, like, the hyperventilating and, like, those reactions of it. It's literally just me freaking out and being, like, incapable of being assisted for 20 minutes. And then after that freak out, I'm like, damn.

[Kai]

Damn, I need a can.

[Drew]

What was that? Like? What was that? Like, I was being crazy, but it. Yeah. So I'll be seeing a psychiatrist. I'll let you guys know what I'm told. I don't know why I said all that now. I feel like I overshared.

[Kai]

We need to do a drunk episode.

[Drew]

I know. Or.

[Kai]

And also a high episode.

[Drew]

I don't know that I'm that interesting. Like, drunk, though. Like, I don't know if I say anything like. Like, necessarily funny.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Or like, hi. Oh, my God. Hi. I just, like, I am the. Who's like, I'm so giggly right now. I'll never forget one time I was smoking with a guy I liked. Tell me why. We were watching. We were watching funny videos. You. He was a. Yeah. We were laying down, watching videos, and we had just smoked, and I was high as fucking giggling my ass off. Tell me why. He deadpan turns to me and is like, why are you laughing so much? Like, literally, like, what? Like, you. You're like. You got way too high. Because this is not that funny.

[Kai]

You're high and, like, put me down.

[Drew]

And Then, yes, I did have sex with him 20 minutes later.

[Kai]

You're so high.

[Drew]

But honestly, like, that's just. That's the joy of being a young 20 something. Having sex with a fucking loser. That's. That's. Honestly, we all got to go through it. We all got to get through it.

[Kai]

Not me. Not me.

[Drew]

But yeah, I'll never forget that. That was so humorous.

[Kai]

Every person I've ever had sex with is a loser. Cut it. You need to cut it, dude.

[Drew]

Being personal online makes me so uncomfortable now. I get so scared.

[Kai]

That's how we built our audiences, though.

[Drew]

I know, but I've talked about it before, but. Oh, actually, you know what? To make up for all the cuts, do you? Actually, this is such a sexually based question. And I'm always like, why do so many sex burns reach out to us? And this is why I think 69 is one of the, like, biggest fucking. Well, you're the one who brought it up earlier, but it had me thinking. I mentioned this in my video and I didn't explain it correctly, but, like, 69 is the biggest scam of all time. Like, to me. To me, like, that is like, I.

[Kai]

Think it's a lit.

[Drew]

Why the fuck would I want to be putting in work? Like, I enjoy doing that job. Like, I'll, like, Like, I've been. I've been given a promotion to the captain of the ship. Like, I'm good at the job, bitch. I don't want to clock in when you're clocking in, because I'm like, what the fuck is the. Like, no, I don't, Like, I don't agree with it. I think it is a scam. Can I just lay down, please? Can I lay down?

[Kai]

Stiff as a board.

[Drew]

Can I live? Can I.

[Kai]

Can I live?

[Drew]

And that's my take on that.

[Kai]

Yes. I love it. It's fun.

[Drew]

No, I don't have fun. I don't have fun. I'm like, I want to have fun on my back. Let me. Let's see what this mattress feels like on my back right now. That's it. I'm over sharing. So crazy.

[Kai]

One last thing that I wanted. Well, there's two technically, but I'm only gonna share one. But in Texas, or just literally anywhere, like, but I noticed it happening a bunch in Texas. I would, like. Like, whether I was at the movies or we were walking around the mall with my sister, or like, we were at a restaurant or something, I get intense, like, intense, like, visceral fear in my body when I see, like, a group of like 16 year olds, 17 year olds, 14 year olds even. Like, I am so scared. And it's not even like I'm physically afraid of them. It's like I'm scared of what they're thinking about me and saying about me. Because I was 16 once and I was a mean person.

[Drew]

Yeah, I was a fucking bastard. Like, I didn't give a.

[Kai]

Literally.

[Drew]

And you had no reason to. It's like, who cares?

[Kai]

Like, what are you gonna hit me? I'm 16 years old. Like, I will hit a 16 year old. I don't give a. I am 16. Yeah, you.

[Drew]

I was gonna say you are 16. So it's a fair fight.

[Kai]

I'll be 16 forever. Yeah, but no, like, I will hit a 16 year Old.

[Drew]

They're just evil. Like, I'm not kidding. Oh my people, 13 are like the worst. I was the worst version of myself.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Literally in my teen years.

[Kai]

The re. The. One of the reasons why that like popped up into my head was because we were in Walmart, me, Madeline and Steven, and we were getting. What were we fucking getting? Oh, we went for your PS5, but they didn't have it. But we were like walking around the Walmart in Granbury. And I love that place. It's my sanctuary. I love people watching there. And then we're just like walking through the toy aisles because I'm like, I need to get like a fidget toy or something while I'm here. I ended up getting one, but we're like walking through and then these like, like young hick ass, like camo wearing, boot clicking, like kids, like, walk up to me and it's like, yo, like, will you be in my tick Tock? I'll give you a dollar. And at first I was like, oh, he probably knows who I am. Like, okay, whatever. And then he was. I was like, no, I'm not gonna do that. And then he, like, talked to Madeline and Steven was like, be my tick tock, I'll give you a dollar. And Madeline, Steven were like, no, we're not doing that. And then they were like, come on, Just like, do it. Like, please, please. And they were like being like really aggressive. And we were like, I was like, fine, we'll fucking do it, whatever. And he pulls out his money. I'm like, I'm not taking your money. Like, I'll just be in your stupid TikTok. Whatever. And then they're like sitting there and the kid's scrolling through his sounds and he has some really, really gnarly sounds. Like on Tick tock, like really gnarly. And then he's like, I don't know which one to pick. And then the one of the friends like with the cash leans over and it's like, like, you should do like this one, blah, blah, blah. And I didn't hear what he said. And then I both started laughing out loud. And they picked the sound, turned the audio down on the phone and it was all five of us in frame. And then the two kids that asked us to be in the Tick Tock, like walked out after one second and it was like, like, I don't know what it said, but it was definitely like into preface. Like before I. I was like, I don't know any Tick Tock dances. And he was like, oh, well, like, I was like, what audio are you going to use? And he was like, like, you shouldn't, you shouldn't care because you're not emo or gay. And I was like, girl, you have no idea. You have no idea because I'm not. And so like I was assuming obviously, like, oh, this is like, it's like a. Yeah, like a up audio that's like, like if you're gay, like stay in frame or something like that. And I was like, okay, like losers. And then I thought about it more and I was like, these kids are freaks. And I bet this is a crazy audio because I. Yeah, because I was.

[Drew]

Gonna say like, I haven't heard any crazy Tick Tock audio, but I can only imagine that there's a side that it's like fucking 4chan.

[Kai]

Yeah, exactly. That's what it felt like. So then like the kids walked away and started like, like laugh, like laughing really loud at the end of the hall. And Madeline walked out of frame. I walked out of frame and it was just Stephen. And I felt bad for it just being Steven. So I like walked back in frame and like got big in the camera or whatever. And then like I thought about it more and I was like, okay, I. Whatever. This is like, I do not want this on the Internet. So I just deleted the video and we walked away and they screamed at us like, I was actually terrified. I was like, oh, they're gonna like come like hit me. And I'm like, fuck, I'd have to beat up a 14 year old. Like, what the fuck? I'm gonna grab this skateboard.

[Drew]

I wish I was there because I would have been such a fucking cunt to them. I would have broken their dude.

[Kai]

And there were two, there were 14 year old. I would have fucking broken no, there were two girls with him.

[Drew]

Fucking evil.

[Kai]

No, there were two girls with them that like, were calling us like crazy names. And I was like, dude, this is crazy. I am literally being bullied and hate crimed in Walmart right now. Like this. Your mom's a crazy. Like, I wish I heard the audio before I deleted the video, but like, I was so scared, so I just deleted it and walked away.

[Orion]

Did you look up emo or gay on Tick Tock?

[Kai]

No, I'll do it. You're so brave.

[Drew]

You're so brave for that.

[Kai]

No, I doubt. It's like, I. I don't know.

[Drew]

Something you could find by looking that up, I bet. I. I think you have to be on like, like the scary pipeline of Tick.

[Kai]

Yeah, the alt right. What is it? Alt right side.

[Drew]

Alt right pipeline.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

My little wiener. That's terrifying. And I would beat the out of them. Kids are so mean. They're getting progressively more mean because of.

[Kai]

Like, it's being rewarded.

[Drew]

Crazy how like, Tick Tock is a really a reward system for being evil because everyone's trying to get top comment for being a. Which is crazy because it's also one of the platforms where people are so quick to like, like jump down someone's throat and like play the moral high ground game. So I'm like, damn, pick a side. Because like, I literally could post something right now and if someone got a good quip at me of calling me ugly and stinky and a freak, it would get top comment. Y' all be like, hahaha.

[Kai]

I mean literally. And any video we post the top comment, like, which I don't give a shit because I know it's coming from a funny place, but like, there are people that see these top comments about me being like a fucking freak or something.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

And thinking it serious and like enjoying that, which I literally don't give give a. But like, for like the random local that like posts a TikTok that gets 150,000 likes, like, and all of the comments are making fun of them. I'm like, damn. Like, I don't know if they realize that these people aren't joking or they are joking, but like, they're still saying mean things. It's crazy. Just like TikTok is sick and twisted, but I still love it. I still scroll on it. Let's check my screen time from Texas.

[Drew]

Tik Tok still wins.

[Kai]

All right, let's check.

[Drew]

That's such a crazy story. Like, why did that make me so mad?

[Kai]

It freaked me out.

[Drew]

I would literally body Slam a child. If they acted like that with me. And you can quote me on that. A Brian is gonna be like, hey, like, we don't know if we want to work with her because recently in a podcast episode, she said that she would body slam a child. And like, that's kind of up. Remember when it was like, top tier comedy to talk about how you wanted to, like, literally squish kids the bottom of your foot?

[Kai]

Like, what was I doing? Like, July 10th through the 7th, 17th on iPhone.

[Drew]

I guess that's what it looks like.

[Kai]

It's an hour and 52 minutes. Like, look, this is 23 minutes. 21 minutes, 11 minutes, 16 minutes. I've never done that. Was I, like, camping or something?

[Drew]

Fourth of July, Kind of after fourth of July, where were you?

[Kai]

I don't know.

[Drew]

I think you were here. You were here.

[Kai]

Damn, I'm lit. I was only on my phone for 23 minutes. But what was last week? Last week was bad.

[Drew]

Not see mine.

[Kai]

Yeah, last week was bad.

[Drew]

Damn me getting help.

[Kai]

Two hours on Tick Tock. Three hours on Tick Tock. Damn. Yeah, my average was eight hours last week when I was in Texas.

[Drew]

Let's see mine.

[Kai]

But it always turns up when I go to Texas because I, like, do nothing else.

[Drew]

Mine is probably crazy because I was home alone and freaking out. Yeah, mine was 7 hours and 50 minutes.

[Kai]

Yes.

[Drew]

I dedicated 38 hours of my last week of last week to social media.

[Kai]

41 for me.

[Orion]

We should get that number up.

[Drew]

You think I need to get it up?

[Orion]

I think we should get that up.

[Drew]

I think if it's up, it's stuck.

[Orion]

I've heard that before. I think my grandma used to say that.

[Drew]

Your grandma used to say that?

[Kai]

What does that mean? It's up and then it's stuck?

[Orion]

It means when it's up, it's also.

[Drew]

No, I think she was referring to, like, twerking. No, I think she was referring to literally, like, money.

[Kai]

Oh.

[Drew]

Because I remember I. I used to think.

[Orion]

I think we've had this conversation on the podcast before.

[Kai]

Have we?

[Orion]

Actually, yeah. And then I googled it. And then I, like, read.

[Kai]

I'm done.

[Drew]

I'm never talking to you bitches again.

[Orion]

Wait, before we end, someone uploaded a compilation of me getting hit on the podcast. And then people think it's real.

[Kai]

It is. It is good.

[Drew]

I don't go.

[Orion]

People know that it's real. And in the comments, people are like, no, personally, I wouldn't. I wouldn't take that.

[Drew]

Oh, I'm so sure. I'm so sure.

[Kai]

Ain't you, Nathaniel B.

[Drew]

Like, everybody is so annoying. Me included. Like, people are like, I would never. Yes, you would, because I would put up with anything. We give Kai lots of love, and y' all are jealous.

[Orion]

It's true.

[Drew]

It is a jealousy, and you have to. You have to make that love worthwhile by.

[Kai]

If you were sitting in that chair, you would want me to hit you, too. Kai begs for it.

[Drew]

Dude, there's so many things with the podcast. Like, there's just such a lore that, like, people outside of it don't like the video of you dead on the concrete. Yeah. Like, the amount of comments I saw where it was like, this girl is so up, her friend really could have died. But, like, people being. And then people were like, no, that's literally, like, his, like, best friend. Like, it's like, not that she saw. People were like. People were like, my best friend would never.

[Kai]

I was talking about this. I was like, dude, the Lord, like, becoming a new fan of us, like, is probably, like, the scariest task to, like, climb. What? What if I just scratch?

[Drew]

Like, I squirt right onto you?

[Kai]

Damn. Really?

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Okay.

[Drew]

As. As your, like, hand goes down, like, the squirt would increase into, like, fire hydrant status of, like, water pressure.

[Kai]

But I was, like, become, like, having to sift through, like, the cousin dating allegations. Like, and, like, being like, wait, are they actually dating? Like, that's something every single person has to go through. It's like, are they actually cousins? Are they actually dating? Yes, yes, and yes.

[Drew]

Yeah. And it can say, like, that. You know what's crazy to think about is, like, there's definitely people who are, like, that's funny. But, like, like, I wonder if we would ever be in a relationship, like, a romantic relationship outside of us, in our open relationship, if, like, our other, like, like, partner would be, like, no, I. I don't. With that.

[Kai]

Like, well, Kai doesn't really, like, enjoy, like, us.

[Drew]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. He doesn't care.

[Kai]

I mean, he, like, gets mad sometimes.

[Drew]

About us, but, like, control over it.

[Kai]

Yeah. It's like. It's also like, oh, he knows it's a joke. And when we have sex and make love to each other, it's just a joke.

[Drew]

Yeah. It's just like, well, we have to keep it up. We have to keep up that.

[Kai]

To keep the bit.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Yeah. But no, actually, I feel like there will be a moment when someone is, like. Like, I don't know if I like that.

[Drew]

Yeah. I think there's, like, certain lines, like, we don't cross or like, we don't like that. Like, I almost did something this episode, but I didn't do it. Mostly because I was like, on camera. That would look crazy. Like, it would look crazy. But you know, like one of the episodes where I got down and I was like, let me get that. I almost did it again, but like, put my hair up. I was like, grab it. Like, just hold my hair. And then I was like thinking about what that would look like from the back and I was like, that would be.

[Kai]

Be too much. Too, too much.

[Drew]

It'd be like too real.

[Kai]

Yeah, no, that. But that's like we do off camera though.

[Drew]

Yeah. Like it, it is insane the amount. But I, I think I've said that before too. Like, we have friends who see the way our friend group interacts and they're like, I've never seen people talk about.

[Kai]

Sex, like as free as y' all.

[Drew]

Do, like so much. What's crazy is we talk about sex but never seriously, like.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

And when it does get serious, I feel like those conversations are usually like short winded and they don't. Like, we're just like not the kind of group to like talk in depth about our sex life to an extent with like, like, I literally don't know how to have those conversations.

[Kai]

Yeah, no, I've kept it a secret for so long that I literally just don't talk about it.

[Drew]

Yeah, and then when you do, like, it feels like I'm hearing like a fictional story. So I'm like, I don't know.

[Kai]

I told Kai something the other day and he was like, you need to. Do you remember that those voice notes were. And you were like, dude, you need to like write this down. This is crazy.

[Orion]

Oh yeah, that one. That one story.

[Drew]

Yeah, I want to hear.

[Orion]

Good.

[Kai]

Did you save the audio messages? I think you did. Because I don't think I'd say.

[Orion]

No, I didn't save that.

[Drew]

You don't have your audio message on, like automatic save?

[Kai]

No, I save everything.

[Drew]

So don't say anything out of pocket to me.

[Kai]

There were some. There were words shared that wasn't allowed to be saved.

[Orion]

I had it on automatic save, but then I've had people multiple times be like, dude, why did you just save that? Because it says like a notification.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Orion]

And it seems very deliberate. And I was like, I'm turning this off. I don't want people to think I'm like collecting.

[Drew]

I don't give a fuck. You sent that to my phone. That's mine now.

[Kai]

Those are my receipts.

[Drew]

That is mine. Now that is mine now.

[Kai]

But yeah, it was just like a.

[Drew]

I didn't tell you this.

[Kai]

I had that. I told Kai about. I've probably told you about it.

[Drew]

Let me get something. You give it to everybody except me. Hi, Kitty.

[Kai]

She's purring. This is purring. All right, well, let's do media.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Okay. So in Texas, I saw the movie Vengeance, which has the guy from the office in it. And I went into it thinking it's going to be, like, an awful movie. And, like, the opening to the movie has John Mayer, like, talk, like, broing down. And I was like, this is gonna be. Be bad. Like, this is gonna be really bad.

[Drew]

John Mayer.

[Kai]

Yeah. And then it, like, turned into, like, a very, very beautiful movie about, like, what she's making this insane face about. I don't know if I can do it again about. I'll just watch the clip back.

[Drew]

You can use that against them. Have you seen that audio? Sorry, Drew.

[Kai]

It was just like, a very beautiful movie about, like, ass, nowhere Texas culture, which I've never seen. Yeah, I've just never seen, like, Texas portrayed or, like, spoken about in a way that, like, wasn't coming from a place of, like, making fun of Texas people. Which, like, yes, like, we are crazy and, like, it's funny to make fun of us. But, like, also, there was just a line in this movie that stuck with me so well that it was like. It was just talking about how, like, Texans, like, aren't actually stupid, but, like, what makes them stupid is be. They're. They're actually, like, very intelligent people, and they just don't have outlets to put that intelligence into. So they put it into alt right ideals and conspiracy theories and, like, they just don't have access to the same, like. Like. Like, I don't know the word. Like, the same shit that, like, people who aren't fucking crazy. I don't know how to word it the way they worded it, but it was just, like, really interesting. And I was like, damn, this is, like, a really cool take that I've never seen. And they, like, weren't it, like, it was a movie about, like, going to Texas to on Texas people and then finding out, like, oh, like, wait, they're kind of just like me.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

But it wasn't the best movie I've ever seen. And I don't agree with a lot of things, but it was really. That was a really pretty moment in the movie. The end freaked me the fuck out. I was like, this is too real.

[Drew]

I don't think I'VE watched any movies or anything. I'm still just playing Fortnite and oh, I started Girls and that's a really good show.

[Kai]

Yeah, you've been session it. Did you still sesh it when I was gone?

[Drew]

Oh, I only watch it when I'm with Orion.

[Kai]

That's cute.

[Drew]

Like, watch it together. But my media is so. There's this artist called Alex G. I don't know what the letter stands for, but you guys should definitely tap in.

[Kai]

Oh, Alex Gay.

[Drew]

Alex Gay.

[Kai]

Do not listen to Alex G. Have.

[Drew]

Y' all heard of Alex G. No, have you? Wait, have you actually not heard of him?

[Kai]

No, I've never heard of him.

[Drew]

Oh, he's popping on tick tock.

[Kai]

Stop staring at me.

[Drew]

He, Kai gives these loving stares that are almost like too much sometimes.

[Kai]

He, like, furrows his brows and he, like.

[Drew]

And he plays with himself a little. Okay, my media of the week is dress you up by Madonna. The Duke is gone by Chuck. Cedric. I just died.

[Kai]

Kai looks at us. Every podcast, take them down so they.

[Drew]

Can see regular international player anthem. I've said that before and I'll say it again. Again. Runner by Alex G. West End girls by Pet Shop Boys. My finest hour, the Sundays. I love you always, forever, Donna Lewis. That's a whole playlist. Suck my balls, bitch.

[Kai]

Okay, so I got.

[Drew]

We have to hurry because I have to play Fortnite. I know. They updated the shop.

[Kai]

I got On a mountain by Danny L. Harle. I've got video games by Lana Del Rey, west coast by Lana Del Rey, Dark paradise by Lana Del Rey. And then we'll just give you one. Bass down Low by Dev. I like my beats fast and my bass down. All right, bye.

[Drew]

It's you, it's you.

[Kai]

It's all for you. Everything I do is for emergency intercondiors.

[Drew]

Because I am an.

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