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Drew
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Kai
I realized why all of my socks get dirty so quick. It's because I wear clogs and the brake dust from LA just gets into the fibers and stains it.
Drew
I don't know, is that really it or do we just have like chronically dirty floors?
Enya
I think it's the brake dust.
Kai
Yeah, it's the brake dust. It's all in our lungs. I was thinking about that when I was thinking about my dirty sucks, bruh.
Drew
Like, dirty sucks?
Kai
Yeah. There's gonna be like 2 inches of like brake dust all over LA if we weren't moving.
Enya
I set up a. It's like a fan and it's all white plastic and within a week it was like black.
Kai
Yeah.
Drew
Are you joking?
Enya
I'm not joking.
Kai
No, dead serious. We're breathing in like mad amounts of brake dust.
Drew
I literally have vape in my pocket and there's one upstairs under my pillow. Like, I don't care.
Enya
No, that's a supplement, but in, in my room I replaced.
Kai
It's a nootropic. Nicotine is neutrophil.
Enya
It Literally is. That's the thing. I replaced my air filter, and it was from the fires, and it's black, like.
Kai
No, you. No, you didn't. And you're lying.
Drew
You left the plastic on your air filter. Be honest.
Enya
No, I didn't.
Kai
No.
Drew
The amount of people who left the plastic on their air filter genuinely, like, actually, you were one of those people. Yeah, yeah, he was one of those people.
Kai
I left. I left the fil. Are in the plastic for, like, three months and was like, nothing about my room has changed. I'm actually sicker randomly. And it was because the filter was wrapped around or the plastic was wrapped around the filter, and it was just, like, caking onto plastic.
Enya
What the. Anyway, guys, welcome to episode 50.
Kai
Bleep that. Welcome to episode. I don't know what episode 26. I think it's 190.
Enya
I think it's 27.
Drew
197.
Enya
27.
Kai
But we are up there in the 90s.
Enya
The real. The real answer is I think it's 194.
Kai
Oh, damn. Oh, gosh.
Drew
Guys. Hi. Welcome.
Kai
How did this happen?
Drew
Have emergency intercom. I seriously am a new woman. Like, seriously, Seriously. Has my voice changed?
Kai
Yeah.
Drew
All right. I need to stop smoking. I was listening to myself the other day. I was like, o, the frame leap witch obsession is going, like, going throat. Like, it's getting to throat era throat goat. Wow.
Kai
We haven't said that in a long time. Fried gay homie. What? Was it that part?
Enya
Oh, yeah, you're gay homie that got hit by lightning.
Kai
We were at Kai's birthday dinner last night, and Kai was like. He was like, oh, that part of the chicken is weird or whatever. And I was like, that part.
Enya
It'd be like, every. Every 30 seconds, Drew would just, like, light up and then say something and then just, like, go back to being silent.
Kai
Like, Kai, one of his friends, was like, oh, I just, like. I literally gagged. Like, it was so gross. I was, like, gagging, and it was like.
Drew
Gay friend who got struck by lightning. That is what Drew feels like. That's a better representation. Because sometimes I've always said this, but when Drew's in my passenger seat, it feels like the second he gets into my car, he turns into my uncle with, like, light amnesia. Like, he just becomes, like, a different person because he's not really there. And then every now and then, simulated when he said something, it's like, oh, wow. On Memorial Day, or, like, before that, we were passing a cemetery with flags all over it, and Drew literally has Been dead tied the whole time. And he goes, those flags are for Memorial Day. And I was like, yeah, buddy. Yes. Like, that's what our conversations in the car feel like. It's like, yeah, buddy. I didn't know what to say. I just went, oh, wait.
Enya
When you had, like, the beard and your hair would be all frizzy, that was your most struck by lightning period.
Kai
I'm thinking about. I know. I'm thinking about bringing the beard back. Like, not because I think it looks good, because it's, like, probably my funniest.
Drew
So, like, de centering and destabilizing.
Kai
Yeah. It's really creepy, I guess. Yeah.
Drew
Thinking of you with, like, pictures of you. No wonder people actually maybe are confused about your sexuality, because I will say you don't look like the gay friend struck by lightning. When your hair is puffy and you have a beard, you look like the person who I need to lock my car.
Kai
I look like the Unabomber or no, Ted Kaczynski. I literally look like I'm, like, in the cabin in the woods.
Drew
That was your most, like, doppelganger time, too. That's when, like, everybody was looking.
Kai
They grew out beards. They grew. All the doppelgangers grew out fucking beards.
Drew
What's happening now? Are you growing one back out?
Kai
Like, no, I just, like, am so lazy. I hate shaving. I hate shaving. I hate shaving.
Drew
How often do you have to shave?
Kai
Like, I should shave every day, but I just shave, like, once every two days.
Drew
Every day. That can't be good for you. Every day.
Enya
I shave every day. Or are you talking about your face?
Drew
Can you grow facial hair?
Kai
I thought we were talking about our buttholes.
Enya
I thought we were talking about our buttholes, but do you want to talk about facial hair?
Drew
I don't want to talk about men.
Kai
Kai can grow a beard, and if he did, he, like, better watch the out.
Enya
Yeah, but I look, like, inside out, dad, and I don't really like that.
Drew
Okay. Like, literally, I literally do those. Stop. Like you.
Enya
That's weird.
Kai
You're like, I like that. I like that.
Drew
No, but can you actually grow facial hair?
Enya
I can.
Drew
You don't feel like somebody who needs facial hair?
Enya
I don't like the way I look.
Kai
No. He looks, like, only good to me.
Enya
What?
Kai
You look only good to me with facial hair.
Enya
What was Josiah? One time I, like, had some facial hair, and Josiah was, like. It went quiet for a second. He just turned to me and said, I think you still look good even with this.
Kai
By the Way.
Drew
Just in case you're in severe right now. I think you still look fine.
Enya
Drew, you kind of look like Pedro Pascal. I realized. Do you not see that? Because I. I'm not joking. Like, I. A little bit I'm joking, but I'm also like. You kind of do.
Kai
Yeah. I feel like it. Show them that. Put up on the screen the picture of me mogging you from last night.
Enya
Oh.
Kai
I'll show you right now.
Drew
I have fomo. I missed Kai's birthday dinner because I was at Disney for Salem's work. Is this yesterday?
Kai
Yeah.
Drew
Oh, my God. I can't believe I've been in Kai's room now. That was really, really. That was really.
Enya
You look like a Tom of Finland character.
Kai
Yeah, I know. My jaw is all big.
Drew
Why are you guys, like, so flirtatious today? Did something happen last night?
Kai
We're literally not. I feel like we're just average flirtatious, but, yes, we got on Omegle together, and it was really traumatizing.
Drew
Oh, is that where you got attacked? I thought you got attacked in real life.
Kai
I got attacked in real life, y' all. I was for real hate crimed by, like, 10 people.
Enya
It's true.
Drew
What were you wearing?
Kai
I was wearing a rainbow Pride flag outfit.
Drew
What's today? It's not June yet. Yeah, you're pushing it.
Kai
Wait, actually, before I get into that story, one of our friends, like, was posting on his story, being on his close friends, being like, ugh, like, I spent all my money, like, waiting for, like, the Pride Month brand deals to come in, and they're not doing them this year. So now I'm broke. So, like, please, like, someone pay me. And I just thought that was, like, such a funny mentality to have waiting.
Drew
On the Pride brand deal.
Kai
And they're not doing it anymore because Pride is literally, like, demonic now.
Drew
Not Pride is lit. I want to go to Pride. We got invited. I said no because, like, the reality.
Kai
Of this, like, oh, I'm going, or.
Drew
No, I mean, to be on the Mac Pride.
Kai
Oh, yeah.
Drew
Like, Mac is doing a Pride flow, and they asked me and Drew if we wanted to be on it, and I do want to be on it, but, like, the idea of any gay person who's only ever seen a clip of me calling bisexual people evil, like, and me on the Mac Pride flow. Like, I wish I could go on it so bad, because getting, like. Like, up and getting on the Pride.
Kai
Floats, I may tell them, yes, it.
Drew
Would be fun, like, doing a solo mission on the Pride, but I just Want to watch. To, like, be there and observe. And that's why I'm like, I don't think I have it.
Enya
You're by.
Kai
You're by, you're by. And then I was, control him, control him, control him.
Drew
I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. It seriously is evil.
Kai
I was talking to my therapist about that.
Drew
It literally is evil. Me and my therapist talk about it. It's evil. It's evil. It literally. It's the root of all my evil. I think.
Kai
I think it actually.
Drew
It's the root of all my evil. A woman like me shouldn't have endless options. Like, no. Oh, no. I already have a phone. That was already bad. We're learning a lot about when you give women phones and bisexuality at the same time in the same century. Like, it literally. The world expands tenfold. Like, it's up.
Enya
Did you know that all the witches that were burned in the Salem witch trial were by.
Drew
I would love to be burned at the stake.
Kai
I think that that's in your cards. In you.
Drew
Should we burn me in the backyard.
Enya
For episode 200 for the barbecue this weekend?
Kai
We'll put.
Drew
Oh, my God. We're literally accidentally having a pride barbecue.
Kai
No, that's what I was telling my mom on the phone, and I was like, we can't do that. And she was like, why can't you do both? And I was like, mom, we can't do that.
Drew
Gonna think we're gay.
Kai
Yeah, everyone's.
Drew
Everyone's gonna think I'm gay.
Kai
And then. So we're at. Oh, I'm just figuring out how to say this.
Drew
How to talk about your account.
Enya
That was a perfect transition. 200 episodes of podcasting.
Drew
And then he really has been struck by somewhere.
Kai
Saturday, Saturday, Sunday. And then we.
Drew
That was literally me on Sunday.
Enya
Like, also Drew yesterday.
Kai
Yeah, that was me yesterday. And then we are all sitting in a living room, and we're playing this game called fishbowl. And for those who don't know what fishbowl is, it's a game where you take three pieces of paper, you write a random word. We played it at Devin's house at one time where, like, you put all the words in a bowl, and then someone's standing up, and they're playing with rain before. I don't know.
Drew
It's like a charades game.
Kai
Yeah, exactly. And, like, the first round is you, like, get as many words as possible to get the word or to get your Team to guess a word. The second round is you only get one word. And the third word is to just act it out. Yeah, well, someone in that room, I have no idea who it was, put Pride Month as one of the words. And not only Pride Month, but as one of the words. It was me.
Drew
It was me who did that also. That's like.
Kai
It was me.
Drew
Okay, keep going. Because you have to say the other thing you almost did to troll someone when you almost wrote, you're gay.
Kai
Oh, yeah, Yeah, I have that written down. And so someone did that, and it was really scary. That was the first scary part of it.
Drew
Okay, so. And then essentially you wrote those things and it backfired on you. Okay, that's what I'm learning. Like, literally.
Kai
No. And then you were the only gay.
Drew
Person in the room in a game of charades, and you put gay words in a bowl, and you were like, surely no one will point at me.
Kai
Every single time that word came up. Everybody would just look at me. They would look at me in the craziest way. They would just look at me. Some people would maybe even say it. Who the fuck gave them permission? Because I know I did it. I know. That's for damn sure. And then. Oh, this is the worst. This is the worst part of it all. So someone was acting out the words and they just pointed at me. And everyone was like, it was Pride Month. So everyone in the room just hate crying to me.
Enya
Oh, my God. I didn't even think about Pride Month.
Drew
Yeah, of course you didn't think about it.
Kai
Yeah.
Enya
But the thing is, nobody even said it. They were just like, not a slowly point. I was gonna say, look at Drew. They knew that Drew wrote it every.
Kai
Everybody would just, like, look, and then they'd immediately know.
Drew
You're so annoying. Dude, we spoke to, like, what's that guy who. He, like, reads your mind? It was at the story a Mentalist at this Tory Bird.
Kai
My mom went to a Mentalist in Vegas, too, and did some really shady about me to him. But it. Go ahead.
Drew
Oh, my God, your mom is, like, beefing with you constantly.
Kai
I know. We're, like, really, like, in a fight right now.
Drew
Me and my mom, too.
Kai
I screamed at her on the phone yesterday.
Drew
Oh, that's why your. The bottom of your socks are always dirty. Because I play with my mom's ashes sometimes.
Kai
What?
Drew
And I think the dust gets on the floor.
Enya
Inappropriate.
Kai
What the.
Drew
How I grieve is my process.
Kai
Yeah, Kai, that was weird for you to not only check Anya, but a.
Drew
Woman that's how I still play. Me and my mom still do cartwheels.
Enya
Oh, my God.
Kai
I vaped my grandma. Or. Yeah, my grandma's dead too. I forgot.
Enya
Is that the thing that LeBron does?
Kai
Yeah. Seeing that with your mom's ashes.
Drew
Right, right. Well, should I talk about my story, guys? My story?
Kai
The Mentalist. Yes.
Drew
Oh, the Mentalist. Oh, my God. We went to a mentalist, and Drew wanted to troll him, and he was gonna write, you're gay, because he wanted him to have to look him in the eyes and say, you're gay. And Drew didn't do it.
Kai
He didn't write, I chickened out. I wrote nothing. But he still somehow knew I wrote nothing. Like, it was so weird.
Drew
But wanted him.
Kai
No, no, no. But, like, him doing, like, magic tricks, like, that would be, like, really cute.
Drew
Yeah. Something about a man who's so upfront with his manipulation.
Kai
Yeah. Also just, like, magic is such, like, a nerdy cute thing. Like, I'm like, you're a nerd freak bitch. Why are you doing magic?
Drew
I feel like having a partner who could do magic would low key be so embarrassing for me.
Kai
I wouldn't, like, like, imagine, like, them practicing the tricks and, like, failing.
Drew
No, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay, I'm gonna restart it. I'm gonna restart it. I did something wrong. Like, that's. It would be a lot of that.
Kai
Yeah.
Drew
Wait, Just forget everything I said. Wait, hold on, hold on.
Kai
But my mom went to a mentalist, and the guy, like, kind of explained how it works, and it's just, like, reading some, like, micro movements, and like. Oh, you raise your left hand when it's in your left hand just by, like, a quarter of an inch. And just, like, little things like that. And that's how they, like, end up guessing the things. Right? And I don't remember.
Drew
That was crazy how he guessed mine, though.
Kai
Yeah, no, it was like, that was.
Drew
Crazy because I said Adelitas, which is just a random Honduran restaurant in Miami that I grew up going to. That's bomb.
Kai
No, it's freaky because I wrote nothing, and he guessed that I wrote nothing, which is weird as it's because you're.
Drew
Giving nothing, so it's like, easy. Boom.
Enya
No, you're giving.
Drew
I think you stole my jeans. I think you stole a pair of jeans.
Kai
No, no, no, no, no. These are from a rich.
Drew
Those are my jeans. I didn't think those were my jeans. Babes. I'm saying there's a pair of jeans. My acne baggy jeans. That I wore all the time. They're missing. I have a light pair of jeans that look like your jeans. Where are my jeans? Because those are not my jeans. I know my jeans.
Kai
I didn't steal your jeans. I didn't steal your jeans.
Drew
I think you have my jeans. You took my jeans.
Kai
I'll let you go through my closet, see if you find them. But my mom was also at a mentalist, and she, like, the. The person was, like, being like, I'll predict your future. Like, I'll predict a question you ask for the future girl. My mom asked this mentalist in front of 300 other contestants if I was ever gonna get married. Which is crazy. That, like, I've never even thought about my mom thinking about that for me. But I was like, oh, that's like, she, like, is genuinely concerned that I'll never get married. And I'm like, oh, that's kind of sweet.
Drew
Like, I'm right here.
Kai
Well, no, we're gonna get married. I'm just saying my mom doesn't understand that.
Drew
Yeah, people don't. Like, they try to, but they kind of don't.
Kai
They really. They really, really, really don't get it, and they don't understand how serious we are about it. And, like, I will marry you this year.
Drew
Yeah, I don't care. We basically, we genuinely. Especially being around Madeline and Steven, we were, like, cracking up because we really do function like a married couple with each other, because at this point, we also think the same things.
Kai
So every time, we predict each other's, like, wants and needs.
Drew
That's my man.
Kai
That's my girl, y' all. Greer is on tour, and best believe I'll be getting my tickets through Seat Geek because they don't give me tickets anymore because they're ops because the tickets are selling too quickly. So. So I literally am actually pissed. But seatgeek is the place where I will be getting my Salt Lake City tickets. Also, if you have any friends that need a gift, you need to get a gift for someone. Go to SeatGeek. It's literally the best way. With over 28 million downloads, SeatGeek is the number one rated ticket app. There are more than 70,000 events listed on SeatGeek, including concerts, sporting events, festivals, and so many more. Y' all should go see Beyonce this summer. Like, please, please, please, someone do it, because I didn't get to, and I want to die. I love using SeatGeek. I didn't go, but Enya went to Cowboy Carter, and just hearing her describe it fundamentally changed me and if it's not something I experienced this year, like, there may never be an episode of the podcast again. And you know, we came through for you guys. You can use code EMERGENCY10 for 10% off your next set of tickets at SeatGeek. That's 10% off tickets with promo code EMERGENCY10. Make sure you click the link in the description to download the app and have the code automatically added to your account so you can use it later. Thank you, seatgeek. Hey, guys, want to take a quick break to thank one of today's sponsors, Shopify. Y' all, I'm working on a business right now. It's very top secret. I don't want to speak about it. Don't even ask me about it. But there's something in the works that I have been wanting to do for the last decade of my life, and I'm finally putting in the work and the effort to make it happen. And guess who is helping me make this business a reality? Shopify. I had no idea what I was doing when it came to back end and inventory tracking and all of that freaky shit. And that's where Shopify is really picking up my slack. That's a normal part of entrepreneurship. But, like y' all, Shopify makes dreams happen. It makes them true come true, y' all. It makes them come true. Turn those dreams into sales and give them the best shot at success with Shopify. Sign up for our $1 per month trial period and start selling today at shopify.comintercom. go to shopify.comintercom shopify.comintercom.
Drew
But she asked if you were going to get married and they said no, Correct.
Kai
I don't remember the answer. Let's actually call her. Hey, mom, you're on the podcast.
Drew
Oh, okay.
Kai
I was gonna ask. So you were really shady in Las Vegas. Like you. You shady. Yeah, I'm clocking your right now.
Drew
Don't call Pam that.
Kai
What did I do? You asked the mentalist if I was ever gonna get married. Well, what did he say?
Drew
He said, absolutely not.
Kai
Oh. Oh.
Drew
I mean, he said.
Kai
Well, he said.
Drew
He goes, I'm feeling. I am. I'm feeling you have two sons. And I said, no, no, I have three sons. And then he said, well, I'm feeling that that one is married. And he said the other two. No. No.
Kai
Wow.
Drew
Yeah.
Kai
So this is bullshit.
Drew
Do I not count?
Kai
Yeah, me and in. You're getting married, Mom.
Drew
What do you mean.
Kai
We'Re getting married?
Drew
Said that if you. If you guys aren't married by 30 that. That you're gonna get married. It's really inching up on us.
Kai
Yeah, it's getting close.
Drew
It's getting close. It's. It's really getting there. I think we spoke too soon, saying that. I'm okay with that. Oh, we should have a wedding. And you guys should come. Yeah. Think that would be awesome. I've already got my dress picked out.
Kai
Mom, can I tell you something?
Drew
What?
Kai
Like, you might want to be sitting down.
Drew
I'm laying down.
Kai
I kiss boys. I kiss boys.
Drew
Drew, I've been. I've been new. Is that what you say.
Kai
We begin? When was the first time you were like, oh, he's gay as fuck? When I was, like, nine.
Drew
I think it was more like five.
Kai
When I was literally doing, hence, hand headstands. I don't think I told you about that. I was obsessed with gymnastics, and I would just do headstands, like, all over the house, like, literally for hours.
Drew
I would do the same thing on a pillow. We low key would have vibed. You'd be on your head just staring at the golf course. That way you'd watch the. The guys come through on that green, and you'd be standing on your head just watching them play through.
Kai
Literally gay guy that got struck by lightning. Okay, Mom, I'll. I'll call you after, but, yeah, you have to come on the podcast. Okay, guys, comment if you want. My mom on the podcast, Mama. All right, I love you. I'll see you soon.
Drew
All right, love you too. Bye.
Kai
What a bro. Like, did you see hear the way she was talking to me?
Drew
Yeah, she doesn't like you anymore.
Kai
That was.
Drew
I could feel it off of her.
Kai
Like, that was. It was the most jarring. Like, that actually ruined my day.
Enya
Wait, do you guys want me to start recording or are we. Are we ready?
Kai
I'm gonna hit you a classic bit. He's a classic man.
Drew
While being around Kai is making me scared because literally, Kai kind of saved my life the other night. I was thinking about it, I was like, damn, men get the easiest of praises. Because you saved my life. Because you lived close. I actually am very grateful. But, like, I literally, all night or the next day, I was like, kai literally saved my life. And I was like, it's true. Technically, the grace of God, having you live that close to that ass club literally saved my life.
Kai
But you did, technically, me and Rain saved your life.
Drew
Yeah, I just actually, technically, it started with Mason saving my life because Mason was the first person to shield me. Throwing up in that party. Like, I Threw up at the party. Like, it started. Oh, wow.
Kai
Inya got like, zooted beyond belief. Like, you know the video roll the clip of me laying on the concrete.
Enya
I mean, we could drive him to the hospital.
Drew
No, I'm not going to the hospital.
Enya
We could just drive to the hospital. It wouldn't cost $4,000.
Drew
The thing is, Mason, last night was literally throwing up like four times in a row. And we did take him to the hospital. So I'm like, why do we have to take Drew to the hospital? Look at him.
Enya
He's way worse than Mason.
Drew
This is like Project X. I had my moment.
Kai
Well, how old are you when that happened?
Drew
No, you weren't 26. You were like 23.
Kai
No, that was literally like, like 22.
Drew
I'm just stunted. I'm stunted. I don't know if anybody can tell I'm a stunted person. So I'm just now getting to that point, I guess. It was awesome. I would do it again. Like, I would literally, I would do that whole night back to back again. Like, for me, it was the best night of my life.
Kai
Like, me, it was.
Drew
Everyone else was worried and scared, I'm sure. But like, for me, at one point.
Kai
And yet you literally, like, it was me, you and Rain in the room. And Kai, Mason and our other friend was in the living room and they were all just talking back and forth. And you, like, bug eyed and, like, sat up and like, you heard them laugh and like, you literally thought, like, demons were in the living room. Like, you literally were like, there's demons in the living room. Like, like, who are. What is that? What is that? What was that? What is that? What is that? And I was like, in. Yeah, it's our friends. You're okay.
Drew
Dude, I am not kidding. I don't remember. Okay, I need to preface. It was Salem.
Kai
This clip. This clip.
Drew
Yeah, yeah. Did I want vape or what was I doing?
Kai
You wanted my hand. Is that not so sweet?
Drew
I was scared. I was really, like, I. Okay. I went to Salem's birthday party. Actually, the last time I got completely obliterated was Salem's birthday party. Like, four years. Every year, every year, her birthday party. It genuinely brings something out of me. And if I am in a vulnerable space and I'm at Salem's birthday party, it's going down, but it's going to be the best night ever.
Kai
It's literally my favorite thing to do every single year. Like, every year. Like, Salem, Happy birthday Queen.
Drew
Once. Like, all of our friends who are like, what Are April babies like, Taurus, question mark Taurus. Or, like, whatever. Once, like, the birthdays in April start rolling in, that's when I know life.
Kai
It's about to get wicked.
Drew
Like, life is worth living. Is other people's birthdays rolling in.
Kai
It's literally a wicked summer. I decided, not like the movie, but, like, I'm gonna be wicked.
Drew
No, it's bad. Like, y' all should have never let me go outside, because it's. It's done. It's around. Like, I had so much fun that night, but I got to Salem's, and I was already. I didn't need anything else in my system. I was, like, capped already.
Kai
But I was like, we. We drank down at Rain's house before, by the way. Like, we had, like, five drinks before. And then also, you were, like, blasting weed into your brain and blood sugar plus edibles. Like, you were like, well.
Drew
So the thing is, for context, Salem's birthday is always a good birthday party. It's always full of, like, I've never been at Salem's party. And I'm like, oh, my God. Someone I don't fuck with is here. Like, it's usually everyone I like is there. I know I can roam around a party and be like, wow. And I'm not gonna run into anybody. It's gonna, like, really scare me.
Kai
Yeah.
Drew
But I got there, and I was immediately offered shrooms. I've never done shrooms. It wasn't a lot. I found out it wasn't a law.
Kai
Also, famously, like, India has said she would literally never do a hallucinate.
Drew
I'm famously terrified of shroom.
Kai
Because you have, like, literally, disorders in your brain now and in your DNA that's ready to just come out.
Drew
Yeah. So it was a crazy vibe. It was definitely like, oh, my God. It was a. But I say that all the time. I am like, I am a drug dealer's dream. Because if anybody offers me anything, for the most part, I'm like.
Kai
Me when I was 15.
Drew
If it's a friend, I'm like. Like, I really am. Monkey see, monkey do me.
Kai
During the Xandemic Saturday.
Drew
That's when you were the gangster. Highlighting Saturday.
Kai
Saturday is Hyundai.
Drew
How could you. When you were during the Xandemic, how were you able to like, control your, like, gay accent when you were all fucked up around your friends? Did you not just get fucked up?
Kai
Hazy Zannies are hitting. Wow, These Xanaxes are hitting. Yes. I'm literally gagging at the Zannies. Guys, can we go to the drug dealer's house to pick up more Zanns.
Drew
I hate.
Kai
I want perk.
Drew
It feels like a Muppet. Like the first game, you know, like og before they were allowed to put games on media, they would do like that and be like, did you know that this Muppet was gay? So, yeah, I did that. And, like, immediately I knew. I was like, I shouldn't have done that. Because also, I took it. I put it in my mouth. I went to the bathroom with my friend and I took it out, and I was like, I'm gonna do this. Just know, like, things are about to go down. And then I just ate it. And then I went out and I told Kai, I told Mason. I told. So I told any of my friends.
Kai
You literally told everyone but me. I was the only person that.
Drew
Because I didn't see you. We got there and literally split up. Because that is what we do at parties. Like, famously. We get there and we split up. You usually end up with Kai.
Kai
Yeah, we were asking Amine if he wanted to be a part of our three Man.
Enya
Yeah. Yeah. We were trying to run a three man on other guys also. Then Drew went up to the thermostat at the venue and was just turning it all the way down.
Kai
No, it was locked. I would never do that to Salem. It was locked.
Drew
He wanted in there so bad. If it was open, you would have gone in there.
Kai
I probably would have. I was blacked out, y' all.
Drew
Drew got drunk enough that the second we got in the car, he started giving awful advice and telling us to call people on our phones and say crazy. We were like, no. Like, he was like, call so and so and tell them you need help. I was like, it's like my favorite thing.
Enya
Also, I want to clarify. When I was like, let's run a three Man, Drew was down because he thought it was a threesome with three guys.
Kai
Yeah.
Drew
Oh, yeah.
Enya
He was really disappointed when he found out.
Kai
When I got to the three man, it was horrible.
Drew
I was just scared.
Enya
Drew pulling up to the three man, very confused.
Kai
Where's the guy?
Drew
So, yeah, I did that, and I was having the time of my life, and then suddenly. I don't remember. Actually, I do kind of remember.
Kai
Wait, are you and Kai dating?
Drew
Yeah, famously. No.
Enya
Well, I thought we weren't going to talk about it.
Drew
Oh, sorry.
Kai
Okay. Cuz for privacy. I'm getting an energy between you two right now. Like, there's something, and I feel like the world can feel it.
Drew
Maybe the energy is all. Instead of going to Kai's birthday dinner. I went to Disney, and all the food you could imagine is in my stomach right now, and I'm going to it out. That's the energy you're feeling. It's like, the amount of food I ate yesterday. Actually, post Salem's party, what I did to my body is crazy.
Kai
It's crazy. But wait, finish Salem.
Drew
But I did get into a conversation with, like, two guys, and I think, like, just being in the state, I was talking to two men who I have no personal relation to genuinely was freaking me out. Also, I was just like, like, watching them interact, and I was like, I literally see the person you are d.
Kai
Like, competing over you.
Drew
Yeah, it was just like, it was weird, which I was probably reading into it, and that wasn't what was happening, because also, I do have to keep in mind that because me and Drew are like. Like, we're the clowns. Usually people, when we're talking, it does become like, let's make each other laugh all night long. Challenge. But I was just so up that I was like, why? Who are you people? Why are you talking to each other? Like, I literally, like, it was starting to green me out, and I just grabbed. Sabr was like. I think I was just like, I need to sit down because I. I started laughing really hard, and I was like, I'm gonna puke. Like, I think I'm gonna puke. I'm gonna throw up everywhere. And it was like, everything was making me laugh. Like, I wasn't scared in a way that I was, like, gonna throw up and explode, but it was making me laugh because I wasn't having any, like, sort of, like, new thoughts I haven't had. I was just like, okay, cool. This. Like, what? Like, it was just. I don't know. I was. I was just cracking up. And then I went and I sat down, and I remember sitting there with Sabrina. I think I was trying to explain to her that I had to so nauseous, and she was freaking out. She was like, oh, my God, Are you good? Are you good? Because she thought I was, like, starting to green out crazy. And I was laughing because I was like, no, I feel fine. I'm just going to throw up everywhere. And, like, I was sitting next to this, like, planter, and I was just like, hold on. And I just turned and I threw up in it. And then Mason came, and I was like, mason, hold on. And I grabbed him, and I think I just, like, turned him in front of me, and I just threw up more, and I was like, okay, it's not gonna stop. I need to go, like. Because I could feel that I was just gonna keep throwing up.
Kai
And also, Mason also saved you because.
Drew
He, like, carried no Mason. I am not kidding. All of y' all. Looking at the videos from that night. That video of me on. I'm not kidding. I have a love surge for everyone in that. Like, the next day, I was like, I'm seriously having love surges. Like, this is, like, the best thing I've ever seen in my life. But I just. Yeah, I don't remember really being outside. I remember I started to get scared because I don't have parents. And that's all I could think about is, like, I don't have parents. I don't have parents. But then all my friends were on. I was like, oh, my God. And these are, like, my par. But then I started to get embarrassed because I was like, this is so humiliating. So I just wanted to cover my face, but I couldn't stop throwing up because I was so nauseous.
Kai
The amount of times you said sorry was crazy.
Drew
I was so embarrassed. I was like, this is fucking. Also, I had no idea what time it was. In my head. I don't know. In my head. We had just gotten there. Like, in my head, I feel like that for me. So I was like, I am ruining everyone's night because I'm the bitch who just got here, and I am. Am up. Like, I literally. Like, I can't move. Like, my body. It didn't feel like I could move my body. It genuinely was mind over matter. Like, it was mind over matter. And I just kept like, oh, my God. I felt like everything. I don't know. It was freaking me out. And I kept throwing up, and then I just knew I needed to go somewhere else because I was gonna keep throwing up. Like, I was like, the throw up is not gonna stop the ride there. I don't remember getting in that car. I remember at one point being like, I'm covered in vomit and in water and, like, piss or something, because I just remember, like, I felt my whole body was wet.
Enya
You entering that Uber was so funny because we. We had an Uber come, and the guy was like.
Kai
And you threw up on his car for literally, like, 10 minutes. And then he was about to re. Yeah. And, like, he. We were about. He was about to leave, and he was literally, like, such a trooper. He was like, no, she.
Drew
Like, he saved my life, too. That man.
Kai
Yeah.
Enya
I was like, it's all right. We'll call another one. He's like, we can take care of her. Like, we can do this. It's only seven minutes away.
Kai
Yeah. He was like, you got it. Like, you got it.
Enya
So we got in first. That any could be by the door to exit as easily as possible. And I vividly remember sitting and then Sabrina's like, all right, Enya, come in. And then you, like, looked at us for a second, and then you pulled your skirt off and then jumped in like Superman into the car.
Drew
I was like, all I could think about. Okay. Because the whole. Not the whole night. For the most part, while before getting in the Uber, I was always crouched down. And I, like, from throwing up, I don't think I got throw up on me, but that's all I could think about is I was like, I am covered in vomit right now. Like, I felt like, literally there was vomit under my skin. I was like, I am covered in vomit. I'm gonna get it all over this guy's car. Also, I think one of those waters, because we got a glass water bottle, which giving a glass water bottle at a club is literally why. Like. Like, why? Because was the bottle glass? Why did the bottle explode? Like, there was water all over my skirt. And when I stood up, the first thing I felt was like, that skirt has, like, all those layers. And I felt all of the layers, like, stick to my skin. And I was like, if I have to sit in this car with, like, wet fabric on me, because the. I can't describe the feeling of the skirt landing on my butt when I stood up. And I felt like a. Like, of, like all of the wet. And I thought about all the dirt that had been dragging on it, and I was like, I can't have this on. On. So I took it off. Also, when I got in the car, I'm not kidding. I felt like I was in so much. I was. It took everything not to vomit in that car. Like, it literally. Wow, wow, wow. Like, yeah, I don't remember getting. I do remember launching in the car because I remember, like. So I. I don't know if someone was behind me, but I remember crouching down and just, like, getting up, and I was like, yeah, I just, like, had to put my body in because I was like, I'm not getting in. I was so scared also. I was kind of convinced y' all were gonna to leave me there, which would never happen. But I was like, holy, what if they all get tired of me, like, acting like this? And, like, it's not funny because that's all I all. I kept Thinking I was like, I was laughing really hard, and I was like, I'm not laughing because this is funny. I'm laughing because I was, like, really embarrassed. And also, it was just a funny situation. But I was, like, convinced that y' all were gonna be like, this isn't funny anymore. We're going back inside. Or we're just, like, leaving her because she won't stop vomiting.
Kai
Because in my head, no one would let me. I was trying to wrap the troops to keep raging.
Drew
It was my karmic. My karmic, like, subconscious was like, we.
Kai
Don'T need to take her with us. Like, you don't need to. She can find her way home.
Drew
I don't remember getting into Kai's room. In my head, Mason carried me up, like, 18 flights of stairs. Like, you could have told me. He literally carried me up to, like, I don't. Like, in my head, it took so long to get there. And then when I was in there, I remember just, like. Like, coming to and be like, oh, my God, this is not my room. Where am I? Like, literally, like, oh, honestly, amazing. I was so scared, and I covered my face the whole night, and I threw up all in Kai's bed.
Enya
At one point, I went into my room, and you were just, like, face down, not moving, and there was just hella bagels around you.
Kai
Yeah, no, like, the bagels, like, one.
Enya
Bite out of each of them.
Kai
And the thing is about the bagels is they were so stinky. Like, they smelled, like, bad.
Enya
Like, they were, like, onion everything bagels or something.
Kai
And they, like, cooked Kai's room.
Drew
That bagel and the apple you guys fed me genuinely saved my life. Like, I had nothing in my system. It was so crazy. Also, I felt like I was running into your bed, if that makes sense. Like, I felt like I was, like, genuinely trying to escape through your mattress. Like, I don't know if that makes sense. Like, yeah, and I thought y' all were the killers at one point. I was just really, really, really scared. But also, it was the best night of my life. Now looking, I'm like, that was literally so fun. Like, I would do it again if you guys would want to carry me around covered. Also, my shirt that I was wearing, I'll post it. It looks like I got hit by a car. Like, my shirt, it's all like, I don't know where my skirt is. I think rain has it. She said, like, were covered in vomit. So I'm, like, really scared to see those because they were like. Like, they're like, these braided, like, shoes.
Kai
I'm like, well, no, rainwashed them at Kai's house.
Drew
Literally. I have the best friends ever. Like, you guys seriously saved my life.
Enya
Well, sort of. But Drew kept on. He would come out of the room and be like, where's the afters? Yeah, what are we doing after this?
Drew
That's okay. Like, he needs that. I was gonna go. I'm not even kidding. What's up? Is, like, when I came to, I was in a vibe where I was like, let's get. Like, if y' all. If. When I came to, y' all put my clothes back on me and we're like, let's go. I'd be like, yeah.
Kai
Like, your brain was so close to being permanently rewired. It was not. It was.
Enya
I feel like There was a 45 minute period where you were on mushroom.
Kai
Yeah, you were like. You were, like, writhing around super drunk. Like, literally screaming.
Drew
No, I remember in the car, I literally. I have a vivid memory of my hands in your pocket. Pockets. Like, I remember, like, taking my wallet. I was taking his ID or like, I just remember, like, when I was in the car, I grabbing. At one point, I felt my hand in your pocket, and then I was like, oh, my God, these are people I know in this car. Like, this is, like, real people in this car. And yeah, there were, like, moments. There was one moment where Sabrina was touching me, and I'm not kidding, I was like, oh, my God. Get the. I Like, I genuinely. I felt that. I think that was when I took my skirt off. I think that's like, like the second I got in the car. Up until at one point when I woke up in your room. I do know at that point I was like, it was a miracle. I was alive. Like, I genuinely, Like, I was in my head. I was not there. Cuz at one point when I opened my eyes in your room, I was so confused. And the room also, like, because of all of us in there. It was so weird. It just felt so weird. It kind of felt like I was in, like, an episode of Nurse Jackie and I woke up in the hospital bed and I was like, like, what? But, yeah, I was really scared. It was so fun for me, though. Like, seriously, guys, I didn't really explore any parts of my mind I haven't gotten to because I think my OCD has already showed me, like, all the scariest parts of my mind I can be shown. It was more just like it felt like a taunting voice of like, yeah, girl, your is. And look at you. Right now. And I was like, I know, look at me, we're so silly. But yeah, best night ever would do it again. Like literally.
Enya
It wasn't an inconvenience though. Like I, I genuinely think we all would have left, left that party at the same time. And then it was an excuse for us to hang out for another like two hours. Basically.
Kai
It was, it was like literally perfectly timed.
Drew
It was genuinely like so awesome. And then the next day I woke up at rains and we sat around all day and ate shitty food. We had John and Vinny's seafood boil, leftover Mac and cheese and meatballs. Like literally I ate like a fucking king. And then I knocked out at her house. And then the next day we went to Disney for Salem's birthday and I ate, ate everything. And literally it felt like my, I, it felt like honestly the past week I was reborn. Like that was my cleansing day. You guys helped me clean and now I'm reborn and I feel genuinely amazing. Like I would do it again. That part, that part. Ryan Reynolds here from IT Mobile.
Kai
I don't know if you knew this, but anyone can get the same Premium.
Drew
Wireless for 15amonth plan that I've been enjoying.
Kai
It's not just for celebrities. So do like I did and have one of your assistant's assistants switch you.
Drew
To Mint Mobile today. I'm told it's super easy to do@mint mobile.com Switch upfront payment of $45 for three month plan equivalent to $15 per month required intro rate first three months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees, extra fee, full terms@mint.
Kai
Mobile.Com does it ever feel like you're.
Drew
A marketing professional just speaking into the void?
Enya
Well, with LinkedIn ads you can know.
Drew
You'Re reaching the right decision makers. You can even target buyers by job title, industry, company seniority skills. Wait, did I say job title yet?
Enya
Get started today and see how you.
Drew
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Kai
Right buyers with LinkedIn ads.
Drew
We'll even give you a $100 credit on your next campaign. Get started at LinkedIn.com results, terms and conditions apply. Hey there travelers. Kaley Cuoco here. Sorry to interrupt your music great artist BT Dubs, but wouldn't you rather be there to hear it live? With Priceline, you can get out of your dreams and into your dream dream concert. They've got millions of travel deals to get you to that festival, gig, rave, sound bath or sonic experience you've been dreaming of. Download the Priceline app today and you can save up to 60 off hotels and up to 50 off flights. So don't just dream about that trip. Book it with Priceline. Go to your happy price price line. But actually, maybe not. I don't know. Like, I will say the demons, honestly, I don't know. I literally, like, I got down with the demons. I partied with the demons and I had a good time. Like, I'm not scared, scared of them. Like, I literally had a good time. Like, what? Invite them back? Like, the demons are welcome and it.
Kai
Gets addicted to mushrooms.
Drew
The demons. No, I will say, thankfully, because of my extreme guilt and disgust with myself, because as much as I'm talking about it, I genuinely have, like, seeing Kai today. I can't lie. When you first got here where I. When I heard the doorbell, it genuinely felt like somebody I'd hooked up had gone here. And I was like, I have to see this person. Because y' all all did see me. And like, like at one point I was borderline butt naked. Like, like I didn't wear the right underwear to be taking off my skirt. Like, I like, y' all think, like, the bush is a joke. Like, I'm about my like, and I had see through ass underwear on. I am very aware. Like, I looked bat.
Kai
You're lucky. That's family.
Drew
I know I'm lucky. Like, Id gaff. Like, what are y' all gonna go do, right?
Enya
It was see through, but you a.
Kai
Bunch, so we covered it up.
Drew
Oh, I was so scared of pissing myself because I had to pee so bad.
Kai
I was so pissing yourself in Kai's bed?
Drew
Yeah. I'm not even kidding. In your bed. I was like. Because at one point when I came to, the first thing I did was wet and peed and I was like, the whole time I was in your bed, I had to pee so bad. I was like, if I pissed in Kai's bed, that would be like, that's pushing it. I really enjoyed using the treadmill after. That was fun. That was like, really fun. I'm not even kidding.
Kai
That was a vibe.
Drew
Yeah, it was awesome. But I wouldn't do that again because throwing up like that in front of every. Anybody and everybody is crazy. Crazy. Like, the nausea is not for me. I don't like that. Like, I'd rather just like smoke weed and then get scared for like 10 minutes because it's like kind of same effect. Actually. Not really because I don't know where I went, but, like, it was fun. Like, I don't know. I would do it again. Right, Right. Nobody should do that, though, because I'm pretty sure, like, the concoction I was putting in my body was, like, ruthless.
Kai
Yeah. No. Well, I went out, like, a few weeks ago, a couple weekends ago, and I went out with my buddy, and we were at his house before, and I had brought multiple shirt options because I was like, ooh. Like, I don't know what to wear. Like, I don't know this crowd. I've never been around these people. Like, what's the tea? So I had him pick out the shirt that I was gonna wear, and he picked the one that I was going to wear. Like, I wanted to pick it, but I didn't know if, like, it was a good look for the night. Well, he was like, oh, no, everyone's gonna love that. Like, that's like, literally everyone is gonna be so gagged by that shirt. Like, yes, please, please wear that shirt. And so put it on. I'm feeling confident in myself. Literally, the first person I talked to just, like, berates me for my shirt. And then, like, five seconds later, another person asks me about my shirt and is like, what is that? Like, what are you wearing? And then literally five seconds later, after that, another person that actually shared the same name as me comes up and is like, oh, your shirt. And was, like, really shady. Not exaggerating. Within, like, 15 minutes of being at a party, three people had bullied me for my fucking shirt that I was wearing. And it was so bad that I, like, literally took it off and turned it inside out. Because I was like, this is. Is. I can't keep doing this. Notice, not once in my goddamn life other than when I'm wearing this shirt, do I get even compliments on the shirts I'm wearing, let alone just, like, bullied for it. So my buddy set me the up.
Drew
And yeah, there is something about wearing graphic T shirts in certain locations. Like, we went to Perfect Circuit, and I was accidentally wearing. I was. What shirt was I wearing? I was wearing a. I was already wearing a music shirt. That was like a annoying cuddy. Like, a guy would come up to me, like, like, not a vibe. So I was. And then I had my Apex twin zip up with me, and I literally, before going in, I got so self conscious, and I turned it inside out and zipped my shirt up because I was like, the idea of somebody seeing me coming here and be like, you're coming in here to play with sids in your Apex twin shirt and your Bjork shirt. Like, Like.
Enya
Well, for context, the shirt that Drew was wearing, it Said blue lives matter. And it had the blue Eminem, which is.
Kai
Which is, like, I should be able to express myself.
Enya
Like, I just think you should be, like, aware. Like, if people think that shirt's bad, like, you should just know that, you.
Kai
Know, hello Kitty says Agab.
Drew
The thing is that design is so barned. Like, the. The blue lives matter. They didn't even put some pep in their step. That was, like, the laziest push I've ever seen conservatives do with their merch. Because, like, conservatives don't play about the merch.
Kai
Like, they don't play.
Drew
Which is also, like, kind of goes back to proving the point that, like, a lot of conservative people just need, like, music or, like, movie hobbies. Because I feel like liberal people, they wear, like, merch of fun things. Like, whoa.
Kai
Conservatives wear merge of, like, killers. Yeah.
Drew
Literally to, like, start the worst conversation and vibe ever. It's literally like, a form of vibe terrorism. It's like, how do I genuinely. Because at most waking moments, it's like, you're not even gonna get into a conversation about that ass shirt. You're literally just gonna make people uncomfortable. Like, you literally are just in the farmer's market, and I'm gonna see you and be like, holy. Like, that is like, a deep spawn.
Kai
And they all look the same. It's like a white guy that looks hairless. Literally hairless. Like, literally. Alopecia down. Like, pale. Like, freckles on his shoulders. Like, glasses that have the hook that goes around the back. Like, nasty, nasty, nasty.
Drew
We do need to talk about the fact that, like, some people still smell like mildew. I was behind somebody yesterday at Disney, and he reeked of mildew. Like, mildew is crazy. I know you smell it. Anybody who smells like mildew, I know you smell it.
Kai
No, nose blindness is a thing. It's a real thing, bro.
Drew
That's.
Kai
And you smell like mildew.
Drew
Wait, actually, yes. Really?
Kai
Yes. That's, like, your whole thing.
Drew
Oh, you. Because I believed you. Because my. I can't lie, though. My moomoo I wore to sleep last night was a bit mildewy. I can't lie. But I just was so cold, and I didn't have anything.
Kai
I destroyed my favorite pair of jeans in the washing machine. I ate them, but I went and got them. Oh, wait. Yeah, I went and got a new pair of jeans yesterday. I just went. I was like, it. I'm just gonna go. I went to the gym before Kai's birthday.
Drew
It's literally, like, the Memorial Day flags.
Kai
Like, yeah, guys, it Was Kai's birthday. Hello.
Drew
I know. Happy birthday, Kai. I genuinely do. I hate that I'm missed it, but like, I did have the best night of my life, if you were wondering.
Kai
It was honestly, your birthday was literally perfect. That was like the most ideal. Not. Not even just saying that. Like it legitimately was cute.
Enya
And there's also so much anxiety as the person whose birthday it is when you get like a group of people together. And I'm like, I was afraid. But dude, it was so fun. We basically, we got dinner, then we played Fishbowl, Drew got hate crimed, and then we went on Omegle with like eight people.
Kai
That is Omegle was so.
Enya
And we had like, I swear to God, eight good interactions with people, which is. That's probably seven more than I was expecting.
Kai
Yeah, it was sweet. Like a couple of them. I was like, oh wait, this is like. I could see how if I was like a lonely 19 year old, how I would like love to be on this app. I mean, I literally was that kid. Except I was being groomed. Groomed?
Drew
Yeah, I liked to go on the texting part in line, say that I was old, and then get groomed.
Kai
Yeah.
Drew
Yeah, that's kind of my Omegle vibe. I was like, can I talk to an old person who sees me as an equal? Because everybody in my life treats me like an equal, but nobody wants to have sex with me because I'm 12.
Kai
The. Oh, the, the. The. Something I've been thinking about recently. Like, I mean, it's not. This is not what I've been thinking about. But like, it's preface. It prefaces what I really have been thinking about. But like, okay, like this gap in the bathroom stall, like, that's crazy. Like, if I can look out of the bathroom stall, gap in like lock eyes with a person in the mirror of the sink. Like, that's really crazy. Like, fix that. Like what? Like there's some perv that designed it to make it a thing. But what I didn't think about is the girls is the girls that wear rompers. Butt, ass, butt naked. Nasty. In a stall with a gap. Like, what the.
Drew
I'm not kidding. A gap in a stall has never crossed my mind. I don't give a. Take a peek. I don't care. Like, what we're literally, to me, like, to me a bathroom is the least sexual place ever. I actually get. Like, I genuinely think about this and it annoys me because I'm the kind of person that I don't like to fiddle with my belt buckle and my buttons after I've peed. Because in my head, I'm just like. Like, well, I've just peed. I want to wash my hand before I start playing with the thing I'm going to touch all day, and, like, that's going to be exposed to the world. So I will literally leave a stall with, like, my pants half down and, like, my underwear out and my belt unbuckled, and people will give me the craziest look, bro, I don't want to. You. I'm in the bathroom. Like, this is the bathroom. I don't want to. You, like, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill. You're not even bad.
Kai
People brushing their teeth in the airport bathroom, like, is really one of the most.
Drew
I brush my teeth in an airport bathroom.
Enya
The worst is in airport bathrooms. They have the gaps on the bottom. And I always take my socks and shoes off to.
Drew
When you get barefoot in the bathroom, do you put, like, towel down or.
Kai
You just, like, he's grounding.
Enya
No. Yeah, I want to ground before I get into the plane, dude.
Kai
The worst. The worst thing for me is the gaps underneath. Like, never mind.
Drew
I'll hold my pants the whole time I use the bathroom. That is something I won't like in an airport bathroom or any bathroom or plane bathroom. I am so aware of my clothes touching anything. Like, it becomes like, a game of. Not, like, bumping into anything. That's something I care about, but, like, I'll put my feet on anything. Yeah, I'll get, like, bare.
Enya
I'm always, like, at the airport. I. I have to.
Drew
You have to?
Enya
I have. Well, I have to take my poop scissors out.
Kai
Yeah.
Enya
And use them.
Kai
They take them at TSA now.
Enya
I know.
Drew
It is.
Kai
So.
Enya
So then you have to bring the plastic ones.
Kai
Ugh. Like, the safety scissors, it, like, does not work. The same. Same. Guys, I got fasting all wrong. I thought it was when you ate quicker. I know my deepest, most honest intentions, and they are all pure. I haven't acted in malice once. EMDR therapy to forget things. Sorry, I'm just reading my notes. Oh. One of our friends was telling us that, like, you can do EMDR therapy to literally, like, forget things. And so, like, if I ever commit a crime, I'm just gonna go to EMDR therapy for, like, smart six months. And so when they lie detector me, I pass with flying colors.
Enya
Eternal sunshine of the spotless crime.
Kai
Do not use the vibrators from temu. It just blew up my cushions. Hold coochie. God, I'm So bad at reading. I'll literally never be able to read. Huh?
Drew
I mean, if you practice, I think you just can't read out loud.
Kai
I. I can read, like, when it's myself.
Drew
I kind of think you can't read or write or text because sometimes also, like, I'll text. The miscommunications we have over text are actually mind blowing.
Kai
I know. It is weird. As.
Drew
Should I go into my media?
Kai
Yeah.
Drew
Oh, my media of the week is Check on it by Beyonce, Sunny side of Heaven, Fleetwood Mac, don't you wait by Solange, Memory Lane, Mini Ripperton. And I'm not in love. 10cc. Oh, my God. Sure, I have, like, I. I haven't really.
Kai
Don't forget it.
Drew
I have a lot of music shirts, but usually it's bands that I. I like. Not because I actually think that matters, but because I hate the idea that somebody could come up to me and ask me a question. But the 10cc shirt I have is for an album I really, really, really don't like. And I went to a record store and the guy was asking me about it and I was like, no, yeah, this album. This album's good. I like this album. And I lied my ass off, but that album sucks. It's like, bloody Taurus.
Kai
My media is Le Fleurs by Minnie Ripperton, I want you to love me by Fiona Apple, and if any women want to have sex with me, let me know. I listen to Fiona Apple, Everything means nothing to me by Elliot Smith. And then I've been listening to Driving on nine so much recently. But there's, like, a reason. There's like a gay reason. And then I watched the entire first season of a show, not at night, not over through the night, in the middle of the day, called Bet. It's on Netflix. Terrible. Like, literally. Well, I watched, but I literally. I haven't been enthralled by, like, a lead character's, like, acting, like, in so long in that way, like, she ate so bad. And it's like, like an adaptation of a manga into, like, a live action. And, like, it was the best live action anime manga I've seen, I think, ever. But the show was like. The first three episodes are so captivating and you just get, like, sucked in immediately. And then after that, it falls off tremendously. But you do want to find out what happens next, so I do suggest you go watch it. Don't expect to watch, like, the greatest show ever, but it was. It was fun. It was really cool.
Drew
I watched Ultimatum, the lesbian edition, and that is the craziest thing I've ever seen.
Kai
That's gonna be me today.
Enya
Oh, guys, Tesla's sales have gone down by 50%.
Kai
Thank God.
Enya
Let's go.
Kai
Hey.
Drew
Thank God. I have the negative Tesla stocks. It's when you bet on the opposite side. I'm not kidding. We should do that. Like, that should be a game.
Kai
It's too late.
Drew
No, for everything, though.
Enya
For everything. Bet against everything.
Drew
Yeah, I'll bet against everything. Well, thank you guys so much for watching. I'm gonna go explode poop out of my butt.
Kai
Yes.
Drew
LA.
Emergency Intercom: Episode "Enya Passed Away" Summary
Release Date: May 30, 2025
Hosts: Enya Umanzor, Drew Phillips, and Kai
Note: This summary excludes all advertisement segments and non-content sections to focus solely on the engaging discussions and stories shared by Enya, Drew, and Kai.