Enya was Hospitalized

Summary

Emergency Intercom: "Enya Was Hospitalized" – Episode Summary

Release Date: March 29, 2024
Hosts: Enya Umanzor (India) and Drew Phillips
Podcast Description: Emergency Intercom is a comedy podcast by Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips. There is no emergency, but there is an intense need for attention, so maybe listen up… You don’t want to know what happens if you don’t. (we will be violent)

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1. Introduction and Welcome

The episode begins with Drew accidentally welcoming listeners back twice, setting a humorous and light-hearted tone for the discussion.

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2. Enya’s Hospitalization

[01:01 – 04:46]

India (Enya) opens up about her unexpected hospitalization, sparking concern and laughter among the hosts.

• Unexpected Appearance Post-Hospitalization:

  "I walked out of that hospital looking like I, like, came in there." — India [01:14]

  Enya humorously describes leaving the hospital still wearing her apron, covered in blood, and adorned with multiple layers to conceal her condition.

• Stabbings and Regeneration:

  "I was stabbed 18 times... I plan on being stabbed at least three times a year to make sure my body is regenerating." — India [04:36]

  In characteristic comedic fashion, Enya exaggerates her resilience by stating her nonchalant attitude toward repeated stabbings, portraying it as a bizarre method of body regeneration.

• Drew’s Cryptocurrency Fiasco:

  "Y' all, I bought Fentanyl stock cryptocurrency called Fentanyl." — Drew [02:44]

  Drew introduces a humorous subplot about purchasing a cryptocurrency named Fentanyl, leading to confusion and playful banter among the trio.

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3. The Omaha Trip and Health Scare

[05:43 – 11:07]

The hosts delve into their trip to Omaha, Nebraska, for a college show, where Enya experiences severe food poisoning.

• Overeating and Severe Nausea:

  "I had half of a Chipotle bowl and I felt fine... then my head hurt so bad that it was making me nauseous." — India [05:59]

  Enya recounts the onset of her illness after indulging in too much food, leading to intense headaches and nausea.

• Hospital Struggles:

  "I was just there because of food poisoning basically." — India [11:11]

  Enya humorously describes her experience with disinterested hospital staff and the challenges of getting the necessary treatment.

• Drew’s Distraction:

  "I went to a March Madness game... and came back with a hot dog and some tin foil." — Drew [20:24]

  While Enya deals with her health crisis, Drew amusingly distracts himself by attending a basketball game and indulging in junk food.

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4. Interactions with Hospital Staff and Flight Issues

[11:34 – 18:43]

Enya navigates the frustrations of hospital bureaucracy and the stress of missing their flight back.

• Unhelpful Front Desk:

  "She was being mean as fuck to me." — India [17:23]

  Enya humorously vents about dealing with a rude hospital front desk lady, adding to the chaotic narrative.

• Flight Rescheduling Chaos:

  "We gotta go back to the hotel. I'm gonna go pack our bags." — Drew [15:32]

  The duo shares their frantic efforts to reschedule their flight amid Enya’s hospital stay, highlighting Drew’s resourcefulness and Enya’s determination.

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5. Recovery and Light-Hearted Banter

[18:43 – 60:22]

As Enya begins to recover, the conversation shifts to various humorous topics, maintaining the podcast’s comedic essence.

• Dirty Hotel Room Antics:

  "We treated that hotel room like, literally an abandoned house." — India [22:48]

  Enya describes their post-illness hotel room as a chaotic mess, setting the stage for playful jokes about hygiene and cleanliness.

• Food Obsessions and Quirks:

  "I want to eat like a tic tac." — Drew [26:51]

  The hosts share funny anecdotes about their eating habits, with Drew’s excessive ordering of unhealthy foods adding to the humor.

• Fashion and Hat Fiasco:

  "I decided I'm gonna be Zendaya with her big hat for Halloween." — India [34:36]

  A significant portion of the episode revolves around their humorous obsession with a particular hat, leading to playful accusations and jokes.

• Random Musings and Games: The duo delves into varied topics such as fake leather scams, psoriasis videos, and quirky internet phenomena, keeping the energy lively and engaging.

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6. Memorable Quotes and Highlights

Throughout the episode, several standout moments epitomize the podcast's humor and chemistry between the hosts:

• Drew’s Declaration on Cryptocurrency:

  "I bought Fentanyl stock cryptocurrency called Fentanyl." — Drew [02:44]

• Enya’s Resilient Attitude:

  "This is going to make me stronger." — India [04:46]

• Humorous Take on Sleep:

  "Sleep is a drug. It is literally a drug. And I'm addicted, baby. I'm addicted to it." — Drew [47:07]

• Comedic Pricing of Services:

  "For a print pick, it's gonna be a dollar for a dick pic, it's gonna be $3 for a nut video..." — Drew [56:14]

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7. Conclusion

The episode wraps up with continued banter and laughter, maintaining the irreverent and comedic style that "Emergency Intercom" is known for. The chaotic narrative intertwines personal anecdotes with comedic exaggeration, providing an engaging and entertaining experience for listeners who haven't tuned in yet.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• "I was stabbed 18 times... I plan on being stabbed at least three times a year to like make sure my body is regenerating. Like rebooting." — India [04:36]

• "Y' all, I bought Fentanyl stock cryptocurrency called Fentanyl." — Drew [02:44]

• "Sleep is a drug. It is literally a drug. And I'm addicted, baby. I'm addicted to it." — Drew [47:07]

• "We treated that hotel room like, literally an abandoned house." — India [22:48]

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This comprehensive summary captures the essence of the "Enya Was Hospitalized" episode of Emergency Intercom, highlighting key discussions, humorous exchanges, and memorable quotes. The structured sections provide clarity and flow, making it useful for those who haven't listened to the episode.

Transcript

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Drew]

Welcome back to this episode of Emergency Intercom. Drew, it's not welcome back to this episode because we're not just joining this episode. Yeah, you're right. So sorry. I say that all the time. It's actually. Welcome back to Emergency Intercom.

[India]

Guys, I'm. I've been hospitalized.

[Drew]

She's sick, y' all.

[India]

Oh, help me.

[Josie]

That's crazy that you still have the. The apron.

[India]

I didn't. I. I didn't know. I don't think I was supposed to leave the hospital with this on.

[Drew]

Yeah, I think.

[India]

I don't think that's, like. I think you're supposed to take it off before you leave, but I felt so sick that I just hobbled out. I literally had jeans on under it. I. I put on a shirt over it, and then I put on a hoodie over that. So I walked out of that hospital looking like I, like, came in there.

[Drew]

It's covered in blood, too.

[India]

Y' all reasons? Yeah, I bled through.

[Drew]

Yeah, she.

[India]

I was stabbed 18 times.

[Drew]

It was not a vibe, y' all. It was so scary. Omaha, Nebraska. Count your fucking days. I swear to God. No, in. Yeah, Like, I was like. I went back to the hotel because my phone was dying, and I was like, why am I waiting in this lobby to literally get, like, mononucleosis or some from, like, a random kid that, like, walks.

[India]

What the is mononucleosis?

[Drew]

I don't know.

[India]

That sounds like something you can only get, like, blood. Trans.

[Drew]

Mono.

[Josie]

Yeah, there just mono.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[India]

Okay.

[Josie]

But he said the.

[India]

The extended version me when mono makes me mad. So I have to say its full name to let. Let it know I'm being me.

[Drew]

Me when me. When I'm addressing mononucleosis. Mono.

[Josie]

Oh, my God, sis. Oh, I see where you're going. Yep. Damn. Anya's destroying you at the bits so far, but yeah.

[Drew]

So I was back at the hotel, and, like, the cleaners were, like, picking up the room, and I felt so awkward because I was just, like, standing.

[India]

Staring when I got into the room, they were still there, and Drew literally was, like, standing out the window, like he was thinking about his next stock move, staring over the skyline of Omaha, Nebraska, thinking about how he's gonna own the city one day.

[Drew]

Y' all, I bought Fentanyl. Stock cryptocurrency called Fentanyl.

[India]

When Drew came in the room, and he literally said to me and Josh or me and Josie, he was like, y' all, like, tag bought Fentanyl, and it's, like, worth so much money now or something like that. And me and Josh are both like, what? Because we didn't know that was a coin. And in my head, I was like, damn, am I about to start flipping Fentanyl, too?

[Drew]

But I was, like, chilling in the room, and you just, like, hobbled in and laid on my maid bed sick. And I was like, oh, like, this. This is so infuriating. But I let it pass because you were literally sick as fuck.

[India]

Well. Cause she was making my bed, and I felt nauseous, and I was like, bro, I literally need to lay down or I'm gonna die.

[Drew]

You laid on my bed with a bag of crackers and, like, crushed them, and it, like, powderized, like, cracker crumbs all over my bed.

[India]

There was issues. The universe doesn't want us to do this episode. Also, I keep seeing this in the viewfinder, and we look fucking crazy right now.

[Drew]

I don't know why you're saying I look crazy. I feel like I look good.

[India]

You in that big ass hat.

[Drew]

Guys, I decided it's a normal sized hat for me, at least.

[India]

It's.

[Drew]

This is very normal to big things. This is very. This is average size for me.

[India]

Did you hear me?

[Drew]

No.

[India]

What I said you're used to big things. And then you kept talking. I was like, in your butt.

[Drew]

Oh, yeah, of course I put that.

[India]

Hat in Drew's butt. That's why it's kind of like. Yeah, misshapen.

[Josie]

What do you always said? Your big things coming.

[Drew]

Oh, yeah. Big things coming. Earthquake coming soon. I'm telling you. All right now, earthquakes come in.

[India]

Also, I should probably.

[Drew]

My penis coming soon.

[Josie]

Let's go. Let's go.

[India]

I should probably explain why I was in the hospital. So y' all don't think something actually dead serious happened?

[Drew]

But what's crazy is you got stabbed 17 times.

[India]

Well, yeah, but, like, that's not even the series for someone like me. Like, I'm not like, y' all. Like, y' all are the kind of people that get stabbed and you complain about it about that person to take like to get stabbed and I take it in stride. I'm like, this is going to make me stronger.

[Drew]

It is interesting like how like people would just post about them getting stabbed online and you don't. You're different. You're different.

[India]

And yes, I did provoke the stabbing because I hit someone in the face and they pulled out a knife and I said, what are you going to do? Stab me 18 times? And I stood there in their face for like 10 minutes like emotionally terrorizing them until I pushed them to the the edge and then they stabbed me. But that doesn't need to be a part of the story cuz I don't even give a about being stabbed. Like it's not the first time and it's not definitely not the last. I plan on being stabbed at least three times a year to like make sure my body is regenerating. Like rebooting.

[Drew]

Did you know we could regenerate limbs technically, but it would just like destroy our metabolisms.

[India]

It's like in sci fi movies when they're like when they like reboot themselves to tell the last secret. But they all that rebooting killed them and. Yeah, yeah, well, we talked about. Oh wait, let me talk about me being sick. So y' all know I was sick.

[Drew]

Like last week and twisted.

[India]

Y' all know I was sick last week. I got better. I was on my A game. So happy to live life. Having the best time ever in Omaha, Nebraska.

[Drew]

No, it was. I love Omaha.

[India]

We went to Nebraska for a college show and shout out Lincoln. Night of the college show right before at like 340. I had Chipotle. I had half of a chipotle bowl and I felt fine. I felt fudgeing lit. I did have a headache like all day that was kind of building up until at the end of the show my head hurt so fucking bad that it was making me nauseous. I also, I blame it on. I've never had raising canes and I had raising canes in Lincoln, Nebraska. All I had was one chicken tender, a piece of toast and a few french fries because my head was hurting so bad that it was already making me nauseous. And I was like, oh my God, I don't feel good. So I didn't eat the rest of it. Got back to the hotel, was laying in bed, was so mad because me and Drew's favorite activity when we go like to a college show is to get a bunch of snacks and pig out and watch a movie. And I was watching Drew have his feast.

[Drew]

It was lit, y' all. We posted it. It was crazy. We'll insert the photo.

[India]

I was, like, so nauseous, but I was so hungry. But I knew, like, I. I had hit that point of nausea. Like, I am a big stomachache person. Like, something about me is, I'm gonna.

[Drew]

Have a stomachache, and she's gonna let everybody know she has, and I'm gonna.

[India]

Complain about it until it goes away. And then when it goes away, I'm gonna be like, oh, my God, my stomach doesn't hurt anymore. And I'm gonna let everybody know it went away. I have to let everybody know that the soul has entered and then exited my body, because I think low key's. Like, stomach aches are, like, souls trying to speak to me, you know, like, it's okay. You've lost your mind. No. Oh. But you get to say that you hear explosions when you go to sleep and you hear people talking, But I'm the crazy.

[Drew]

I do. I literally do. I saw, like, this video where it was, like. I don't remember what the context was, but it was, like, a bunch of, like, whispering and, like, people saying this person's name and, like, all this. And they were like, this is what it sounds like. And I was like, this is what it sounds like. Literally, almost every single night, I go to sleep. Plus explosions and big, loud sound.

[India]

I guess that I just, like, I've never experienced that, so I don't, like, I can't imagine it. That's like, to me, when you do that, it sounds like the beginning of a movie where, like, someone's in the hospital and there's, like. And then eyes open. That's what Drew is falling asleep.

[Drew]

Yeah, it is.

[India]

But whatever. That night, I'm really nauseous. And also, what's so funny is Drew was eating his feast, and I was actually so hungry because my head hurt so bad. I took an ibuprofen. It didn't work, and I was like, fuck it. I'm going to take an edible to, like, just, like, put me to sleep and, like, get rid of my headache. My headache went away, but my nausea was, like, still really intense. So I was just laying down, about to go to sleep, and Drew was like, I think it's because you need to eat. And, like, he kept trying to offer me, like, candy and stuff.

[Drew]

Well, it was like, that's normally, like, you always complain about having a stomachache, and then you eat and it goes away.

[India]

Yeah, I know.

[Drew]

So that was my reasoning.

[India]

Yeah. So it made Sense. But I was at that point in nausea that I knew that food would just make me throw up. And I hate throwing up. I'm so scared of it. And I was like, this is disgusting. So if you have a throwing up fear, keep listening because, like, I don't know, I'm not going to throw up. I'm just going to talk about it. But I fall asleep, Knockout. I wake up around. Like I fell asleep at 2am and I woke up around 3 and I was laying diagonally on the bed. And I opened my eyes and I felt so nauseous and like, I couldn't move. And if I moved, I would be like, I would throw up. But I didn't want to throw up. So I was. I literally. I wanted to move so bad, but I knew if I did, I would throw up. So I just went back to sleep. Like, I closed my eyes. I was like, I'm just going to go back to sleep in this position, even though it's uncomfort terrible. Woke back up at 4am I was like, all right, it's not going away. Like I need to just get up and do it. I went, ran, threw up. Second time in my life I've had Chipotle come up on. What's it called? Digested. I had full grains of rice coming out. Yes, very nasty. Second time that's happened to me with Chipotle. Something's wrong with you and I'm gonna sue you because that's abnormal. I threw up thinking, it's fine. I'm like, all right, cool. Like, I feel better. I'm gonna go to sleep. I brushed my teeth. I drank a bunch of water to.

[Drew]

Rehydrate and I was like, she used of my toothpaste.

[India]

Yeah, I did because I had to brush my teeth like 18 times because of how much I was throwing up.

[Drew]

She melted her enamel off of her teeth.

[India]

I know at one point I did like think about that and I stopped brushing my teeth, which is gross. But I went back to bed thinking, like. Like, I'm going to wake up tomorrow. We're going to get on our flight and fucking leave Nebraska. No. An hour later I woke back up, threw up all the water I drank, and I was like, okay, not normal, but maybe I shouldn't have chugged all that water. Brushed my teeth again, went back to bed, took a few sips of water thinking like, oh, it's chill. Fell back asleep. An hour later, again, woke up and threw up. That happened four more times that I would go to bed, fall asleep for an hour wake up, throw up. And then I like would just start. I felt so bad cuz Drew was also just awake the whole time basically.

[Drew]

It was so scary. Y. It was so loud and scary. And it was also like the traumatizing type of throw up where like you already threw up all the. Out of your stomach and your body's just like trying to eradicate the poison. So it's just like trying to like get it out of you, but there's nothing left in you to get out.

[India]

Yeah, like it's too late.

[Drew]

Dry heaving.

[India]

I know. And my shoulders and chest and throat were sore for like three days.

[Drew]

Why was your throat sore?

[India]

Because we shared a room.

[Drew]

Don't act like, wait, but tell. Tell them how I'm like the best boyfriend. I'm like boyfriend material.

[India]

What did you do?

[Drew]

We'll get into it. I'll let you finish your story about it.

[India]

But basically I just woke up at one point and. And I felt nauseous again. I just woke up, put some fucking uggs on. Put jeans on. I was like, I'm going to the hospital because I, I like can't do this. And I couldn't drink water, I couldn't eat anything. I was like, I just need to go to the hospital. Went to the hospital. They pumped me with like IV fluids and stuff. But it took like an hour for them to do it. Cuz which it makes sense because I'm just there because of food poisoning basically. And there's other who actually just like got hit by a car challenge.

[Drew]

So someone when I was waiting in the lobby had like a literal hole in their skull and like had an eye patch on and blood just like all down their body and sure.

[India]

And I was back there being like, oh, my stomach hurts.

[Drew]

I got go.

[India]

But yeah, they pump me with liquid IV and like not liquid iv shout out liquid iv. They put liquid IV into my.

[Drew]

Directly to the bloodstream. I found out something that if the liquid IV tastes salty, you need it. And if it tastes. Or no, no, no, you don't need it. And if it tastes good, you need it. But that could just be like Internet lore.

[India]

That might be Internet lore. Cuz I always had the.

[Drew]

I just love the flavor.

[India]

I, I love like plain liquid IV that's like kind of salty. Like I, I don't really like, like I like electrolytes with no flavor. Like if I get the, the juice one, I get coconut and everybody makes fun of it for it. But like it's like coconut water flavor.

[Drew]

Coconut tastes like semen. I'M sorry. I know I'll say it.

[India]

And it does. I'm practicing now.

[Drew]

What? Now what?

[India]

I'm practicing, guys. You practicing for Drew's Ew.

[Drew]

Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew. Okay, finish your vomit story.

[India]

Okay, sorry. Whatever. Basically, it's so fucking uninteresting. I just literally went back to the hotel and. And I woke up hourly after getting my IV and everything. I crazy boots at the fucking hospital. I threw up again.

[Drew]

That shit reeked. It was thick, like a cloud of shit. Stinking.

[India]

Dude, the room smelled like vomit and shit. It was so gross.

[Drew]

Horrible.

[India]

Yeah, it was fucking disgusting. And I feel like usually I am like such a hygiene freak, but I was so sick that I, like, wasn't brushing my teeth and I didn't shower for, like two days because I was so fucking sick. I was scared to stand in the shower. But I got back to the hotel after they pumped me with everything, and I literally slept all fudgeing day. I couldn't even stay awake. I got back to the hotel and I slept all day. And I would wake up every, like, two hours, eat two crackers, a bite of a banana, some water, and knock back out. Like, it literally was like I was like, slowly rebooting.

[Drew]

Yeah, it was.

[India]

And now I feel awesome. And no one talks about, like, the lit feeling after being sick, because I had just been sick the week before, and I was saying, like, I can't sing and dance. This is so sad. I can't sing a dance. And I was back to singing and dancing. And then I just had to happen again. And I'm like, oh, my God. God, like, life is so beautiful. I can sing and dance. I can literally sing it. I can jump, sing, and dance.

[Drew]

Did you drink the water at the university? Like the sink water?

[India]

Yeah.

[Drew]

No, because I drank sink water and it electrocuted me. It literally electrocuted me. I'm not kidding. It literally shocked me when I was like, running my hands under it. And I was just like, whatever, bro. Like, it's not that deep. But I kept doing it. And I thought maybe, like, you just don't have an ironclad stomach like mine and it got you. Cuz like half the time the water at universities are non potable, so you're not supposed to drink it. But I do that.

[India]

And you always do that when there's like. They always give us water bottles. They always give us bottles of water and there's always a fountain. So Drew just does it because he likes drinking out of his hand or putting his head in his.

[Drew]

It's very primal. Yo, I just did it. Like, when we were fixing the mic, I went drink sink water, but that is not.

[India]

It's like, you are going to die. And, well, I guess I don't care either. Like, it actually wouldn't. Like, now that I think about it, wouldn't faze me. Yeah, literally, I'd be like, I might be happy.

[Drew]

Wait, what?

[India]

Like, if you died, I might be happy.

[Drew]

What the.

[India]

I'm happy.

[Drew]

No, but I'm like, boyfriend material, yo. I'm like, wifey. Like, no, I'm like, husband material. For real.

[India]

What did you do?

[Drew]

Okay, so I went to the hospital within you, and on the way to the hospital, and you was like, drew, just leave. Just like, go. Like. Like, just go. And I knew she didn't actually mean that. I knew she did.

[India]

And one time in an audio message, I was like, dude, if you want to get on the plane, I fucking, like, full respect. It sucks to stay here for another.

[Drew]

And I was like, no. Like, I'm here with my girl. Like, that's all I do is I'm here to protect India. Like, that is my vibe. I commuted to the hospital with her. I got exposed to so many illnesses. It was just, like, scary.

[India]

He was there for, like, 10 minutes. I got taken back.

[Drew]

I know I did. I did. Yeah, you did.

[India]

Crazy, because when we got there, the front desk lady was being so mean to me.

[Drew]

She was.

[India]

It made. It makes sense, though. Like, I visibly looked healthy. I, like, walked in by myself. They asked if I needed.

[Drew]

You did not look healthy, girl. You look disheveled. Like, it was scary. It was really scary. And you fudgeing reeked. They should have smelt you and taken you back immediately.

[India]

But, yeah, she was being mean as fuck. And I, like, I started also. I. I rarely get sick to that point. Usually when I'm sick, I'm sorry, I don't do it anymore. That's a lie, because I do it all the time. But when I get sick, I literally just thug it out. And I. Someone will be like, hey, want to get lunch? I'm like, yeah. Just so you know, I have sore throat, and I, like, feel like throwing up. And they're like, okay. And I'm like, okay. And I'll literally just go out and chill with them. But I. I'm not, like, Covid. Spreading. But usually when I'm sick, it doesn't actually put me into that state. So then whenever I've ever gotten that sick, it Freaks me out because I'm not used to getting sick. So she was being mean as fuck to me also, like, she low key had dyslexia, which isn't like a dig at her, but she was yelling at me. But I was like, girl, I can tell because I have a friend right next to me who also has dyslexia that you have dyslexia. Because she, like, she goes, what's your birthday? And give me your id. And I was like, okay. And I'm like, saying, my birthday. Give her my id. She's like, I didn't ask for your id. Your id.

[Drew]

And I was like. I literally, like, damn. Like, what the hell?

[India]

Okay. And then I'm spelling my name to her, and she was like, what's your first and last name? I'm spelling it. Mind you, we're in the middle of. But fuck Nebraska. There are not many. Any humans or mans or is your name is India?

[Drew]

And I was like, girl, you're being crazy right now.

[India]

Yeah. And then she, like, couldn't, like, hear me, even though I was being very clear of how to spell it.

[Drew]

When your name is literally India. Like, that just hit me right now. Like, that's crazy. Like, no, just like, I've never, like, thought of your name. Like, I don't know how to explain it.

[India]

You're visualizing it and, like, letter.

[Drew]

Yeah, your brain is animated. Like, your name is in you. What? The fog?

[India]

But she couldn't spell my name. And then she was trying to hear me. Couldn't. And she was like. She just goes, give me your id. And I was like, okay. So I just gave her my id, she gets my id, and then she goes, your first name stops at Anya. And I was like, okay, what is happening? Is she like, I don't know what's happening, but I genuinely think she might have had, like, dyslexia because her reading it to me felt like when I'm watching you read something on your iPhone to me, which isn't a dig at her, I could just tell. But she was being really mean to me about it. And I was like, what the fuck? So then I started crying because I also started to get really nauseous from having to speak with her so much.

[Drew]

And.

[India]

And then she started to feel bad because I looked like she got nice.

[Drew]

And she was like, go. You go. He'll help me with your insurance. So I. I stood back with the mean lady and gave her Anya's insurance. It was scary, y' all. She was yelling at me. Well, anyways, I'm sitting in the lobby, like, having a panic attack because I'm like, india might not make it through this. Like, it was really traumatizing for me. And I'm like, like, I need to go back to the hotel and, like, pack our bags because our flight.

[India]

Oh, actually, thank you.

[Drew]

I didn't. Yeah. I was like, we gotta go back to the hotel. I'm gonna go pack our bags. And it does feel better. So I go back and I pack all of our up, and I'm just, like, doing my thing and I'm chilling in the hotel. And then, like, I start thinking, and it, like, gets, like, to, like, two or some. And I'm like, oh, we have to be at the airport right now. We're not making this flight. So I call American Airlines, and I like, like, yo, like, is there any way we can get our flight changed up tomorrow? And he was like, y' all didn't book the flights where you can change it same day. And I was just like, she's in the hospital. Does that change anything? And she was like. He was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, let me look into this. And, like, he got us our flights changed. I still had to pay, like, 160 each, which is insane, but it was better than, like, 700 each. And then I, like, get our hotel extended, and I'm just like. I'm literally embossing up y' all. I'm, like, doing the whole damn thing. Like, it was crazy. And then I get. Then I'm like, oh, like, the room is dirty. I'm gonna pick up. And then I had, like, them come up and clean the room. And, like, I was. I was just like.

[India]

Like, yeah, you were doing good doing things.

[Drew]

Like, I was doing the thing. Kai's over here. Like, like, damn.

[Josie]

I know. I'm. I'm, like, a little bit jealous, honestly.

[India]

Then I came and I blew up the bathroom. So all that cleaning meant, like, blue. I blew up the bathroom and fucking ripped my suitcase open that he packed for me and, like, ripped everything out. Trying to.

[Drew]

I folded everything nicely. No. And then, like, the real tea is. At night. I ordered Sonic for dinner because I. I haven't had Sonic in a long time. Well, since I was in Texas last, but. And I was, like, also on top.

[India]

Of that, he went to a basketball game that night because there just so happened to be, like, a game he wanted to see. Yeah, March Madness was happening in our hotel. He went to a basketball game and came back with a hot dog and some tin foil. So with.

[Drew]

I Walked like a quarter of a.

[India]

Mile to five hours before he ordered Sonic on top of that, mind you. And I ordered a corn dog rotting. And I can't eat anything other than saltine crackers.

[Drew]

And whose fault is that? Whose fault is that?

[India]

Low key, York.

[Drew]

Yeah, true. But anyways, wait. Yeah, I did go to a March Madness game. It was lit and everything. I wanted it to be. And I'll. That I'll end it there so y' all don't freak the.

[India]

Yeah, he left me alone in the hotel room.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[India]

And I could have died in my sleep. Actually, good thing you left because I wasn't to hang out a bowl. Like, I just was dead asleep.

[Drew]

I asked you, like, several times. I was like, are you sure you want me to.

[India]

No, you needed that.

[Drew]

I need it. I needed that after taking care of you all day. It was really. It was really scary being a mother. But I order. I did bring home a hot dog. And I walked, like, I'm not kidding, like, a mile and a half, like, away from the gymnasium because everyone was like. Or from the stadium because everyone was calling Ubers. And I was walking with, like, a hot dog in my hand and a Pepsi that I had ordered. Like, as I was walking out, because I was like, this is going to be good as fuck for dinner tonight. I get back to the hotel, I order Sonic, and it sits out because I normally let my food, like, get cold because I'm a monster and it's sitting at the edge of my bed. And it gets, like, to bedtime, and he already passed out really early. And I'm like, why I need to eat this before I go to bed. And I was like, this is my dream situation. Like, I can go to sleep before midnight. Like, this is a vibe for me. So I, like, literally start pulling my food out of the bag, and I realize it's, like, loud as. So you know what I do to protect India? I take my food to the bathroom and I eat it on the floor of the bathroom with that door shut so I don't wake up in. Yeah.

[India]

And I was still kind of awake. And I told him the next day that I heard him starting to crinkle everything because I was, like, asleep, but not in a deep enough since I had slept all day. I was still really exhausted, but I wasn't in a deep enough sleep that I couldn't hear what was around me. And I heard the back start to crinkle. And also, I hate small sounds. They drive me crazy. So I was laying there, I was like, oh, my God. This is about to be the worst, like, 28 minutes of my life because I'm gonna hear Drew crinkle through his sonic, and I. You're also so lit. Because I'd made a comment about how the night before I was. So when I was, like, throwing up a bunch, we had raising canes in the. In the room with us. Like, it was in the room with us, and it smelled so bad overnight. Like, it was so disgusting. We fudgeing treated that hotel room like, literally an abandoned house. Like, it was really fudge.

[Drew]

Yeah, it was our trap.

[India]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Like, for sure.

[India]

But, yeah, I heard him go into the bathroom, and I was like, I don't. There's no way he's going to eat in there. And he did.

[Drew]

Yeah. Because I wanted you to sleep. I needed you to sleep me to.

[India]

Rest up so we could get the fuck out of Nebraska.

[Drew]

No, I would have, like, not cared if we were still there. Like, I, like, literally loved it there. Everyone was so, so nice. Like. Like, also, like, everybody. Like, I must, like, have aura or something, because everybody wanted to, like, have a conversation with me.

[India]

Yeah, nobody wanted to talk to me, which I actually, like, I'm offended by.

[Drew]

Like, everybody would just, like, start chopping it up.

[Josie]

And it's because you're in a hospital gown covered in.

[Drew]

Covered in red, and you smell like.

[India]

Also. And then the other times when I wasn't sick, when we got there, I was highest scared of everybody I saw because I was like, oh, my God, people live here. I'm so scared. But that first day there was magical, though. It was also. That's probably what added to my. Like, I was not treating my stomach correctly, especially four days after being sick already.

[Drew]

Well, that's like, the point of the college shows for us is, like, we get to do a college show. We also get to, like, live in a hotel and, like, experience what it was like to be 16 again. Like, hanging out with each other for the first time. And we order the worst food you can possibly eat and put in your body because it's like, vacation calories don't count. Like, that's the whole vibe, guys. I don't actually calorie count.

[India]

Like, oh, girl, we fucking know we see what you eat. Like, I don't think there's a single person on this place who's like, guys, we need to help Drew. Like, he's literally not.

[Josie]

I think. I think Drew actually eats the most calorically dense foods I've ever seen.

[Drew]

I saw something I like yours. Breaking record oh, the fucking meal. So on Wingstop, I ordered, like, like, five tenders and then an extra two tenders because I wanted five. Lemon pepper. I've been transitioning to lemon pepper. Like, the lemon pepper goes crazy, and then I get. I get two mild wings, and then I get a side of fries and a large Coke. And that's, like, been my, like, go to order seven tenders, not wings. And I. On the app, it, like, showed me, like, how many calories it was, and it was, like, 3,800 calories that I just, like, ate in one sitting with pistachio butter.

[India]

They on top of, like, pistachio butter. Or take five, like, leftover chipotle and in and out burger. Like, what Drew does all day is any. Yeah, he gathers all day. So anybody eats anything or goes out to eat anything or, like, make something, and you offer to him, like, I could make Mac and cheese right now at Fudgeing, 12:30pm as Drew, if he wants something, he's like, no, but maybe I'll dig into it later, so just leave it out. And he wants you to leave it out. And then later on, he goes around and, like, picks up all the leftover food. Like, Josh had extra food last night, and Drew was like, oh, I'll eat it. And, like, earlier the day in the day, they went to in and out, and I came home, and there was just a burger there. And I was like, oh, who's this? And Drew was like, mine. I didn't even question because it was like, 4:00pm I was like, yeah, that's his dinner. I got 1:00am what kind of, like.

[Josie]

Great depression mindset is that?

[Drew]

I'm like a little squirrel, like, collecting my fucking food for the winter every night. Like, I had, like, a box of fish and chips. I had an in N Out burger. Dude, I'm not. I'm not playing. Like, the pistachio butter. Like, mixing or dipping a. A. Reese's stick into the pistachio butter and eating it is, like, literally so goated. Like, I'm telling y' all now, we're.

[India]

Not talking about how I'm wifey material. You are butter two times in one day. And was like, I want that. But because he's, like, frugal and, like, busy collecting for his dinner, he didn't want to buy it for himself. And I went back to the spot we saw it at, and I was like, actually, I shouldn't have bought that because I was, like, way too overpriced. But I felt, like, inclined to because of the interaction I. But I. The cashier heard me say, I, like, grabbed. And I was talking to a friend. I was like, I'm going to get it for my friend. Like, whatever. I'm going to get it for Drew. Like, Drew really wants this. He. I saw him keep talking about it, and, like, I think he'll be happy if he came home and saw it. So I go and get it. And then the friends, like, odd. Like, the cashier was like, oh, that's so sweet. Just to let you know, it's $31.

[Drew]

It was $31.

[India]

One.

[Drew]

Oh, yeah.

[Josie]

Because pistachios are like, ra.

[India]

Yeah, pistachios are like. No, it's like, a nice, cunty one from who you are for Italy.

[Drew]

I need to, like, savor that because I understand.

[India]

It's like, you're sticking KitKats, Reese's pieces, and, like, all this.

[Drew]

Like, that's, like, blasphemous.

[India]

No, I mean, that's the way it's like when you get. Like, when people buy something nice for themselves, I think they should use the out of it and really, like, not destroy it, but, like, put it to use, because you got it, and you should enjoy it. That's what you're doing.

[Drew]

Pocket P. Word, dude. What?

[Josie]

I don't know if that's okay. I mean, I think you are technically right. You're technically right.

[Drew]

Yeah. Oh, my God, guys. Am I an expired twink?

[Josie]

Yeah.

[India]

Yeah, True. No, no, no. I. Oh, I. I know a few expired. Let me stop. Fuck. Should we name them? Should we name who we think Expire twinks.

[Josie]

Let's dox the twins.

[India]

No, I don't think you're expired, inspired twink. Because, like, the era everybody claimed I'm not.

[Drew]

I was never. Yeah, this was. This was a trick question, and y' all all fell for it. You're supposed to say, oh, Drew, you were never a swing. You were never a twin.

[India]

You know what? Now I'm not gonna finish, because I was literally about to go in and protect the out of you, and guess what? You're a sweet. With that stupid big ass. You.

[Drew]

No, no, no. Say it.

[India]

I hope you die.

[Drew]

Say, what the hell.

[India]

No, I would never wish that.

[Drew]

Oh, my God.

[India]

Ignore what they say. I would never say that. I don't know who said. I said that. I was gonna say, y' all need to stop, because when y' all pictures and say, he's tweaked, you just were, like, 8 years old, so you didn't know the vibes, but that was every guy's vibe with, like, oh, I'm so, like, put together and, like, little.

[Drew]

Yup, yup.

[India]

No, but that literally was the vibe. If you look at every guy's vibe during, like. Okay, yes. It doesn't help that you were only posting about Beyonce and Lana Del Rey and, like.

[Drew]

No, because they're hot.

[India]

I think that's where it gets mixed up. Because also, you were, like, posted up with. You were kind of.

[Drew]

No, no, no, no, no, no Rapuccino. That's all I could think.

[India]

I was, like, battling your gays, but you're going to jail.

[Drew]

Like, Drew Phillips Frappuccino.

[India]

I. Because I never got that vibe from you. And I never was, like. Also, I feel like you were straight passing, too. Everybody around you thought you were straight, which is kind of crazy. But it's. It, like, it goes into showing, like, true vibe of that era. Do you get what I'm saying? Like, nobody would have assumed anything, so I don't. I. I never thought you were a twink. I never gave you the twink card, period. You're more of, like, stink. Like, you're on that end. Like, whatever that would be.

[Drew]

I'm like, a twink. I'm a twink. Okay, well, I just needed to address that. And, Kai, you failed miserably.

[Josie]

I know. I'm so. I should have said otter, right?

[Drew]

Yeah. You mean otter death.

[Josie]

Otter death. Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm working on it.

[India]

Hey, I just think you're sexy.

[Drew]

I know.

[India]

You don't need a label. Okay.

[Drew]

I know I am.

[India]

I don't mean it. Also, last night, I was like, fuck, what are we going to talk about on the podcast? Like, I don't know. I'm like. I was like, fudge it. I'm just going to get high. And, like, we were watching Snatch Game and stuff. I'm like, I'm going to. I'm going to think of something funny to say. Like, it's going to be funny, bitch. I came upstairs and we talked about Coco Montrese for an hour. That's all we did. We were just watching Coco Montrese. And I'm only mentioning it again because I was talking to Josiah about it. I was like, fudge. I can't even, like, mention all these things we're saying right now because we just talked about Coco on the last episode, and people are going to be like, damn, they really, like, are obsessed with Coco. But I am. And I decided we need to hold an event and hire Coco to do her Janet drag. That's what I need. Like, that would be fudgeing everything. It would be so good. But Coco Montrese was scaring me because I think she's been the same age for, like, 18 years.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[India]

And that's like RuPaul. Like, RuPaul's been the same age. And also Bianca Del Rio has been the same age for 18 years. Like, Bianca Del Rio has been whatever age she is for 18.

[Drew]

Plus, she's a queen's queen.

[India]

Yeah, she's the queen's gamut of the queens.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[India]

I've never seen that show. I don't know why I said that.

[Drew]

I watched that all in, like, literally one sitting nerd.

[India]

So boring. Is there sex in it?

[Drew]

Yeah, actually, like, naked. Yeah. Oh, boobs. Big boobs everywhere.

[India]

Download.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[India]

But we did play with this hat for two hours.

[Drew]

Oh, yeah. We'll insert the videos now.

[India]

Threw up. We played with that. Happen. Locked. Oh.

[Drew]

No, no, no, no. I need it down here.

[Josie]

I swear, my life was like, before I saw that image and then after.

[India]

Wait, which one did you.

[Drew]

Get down, bro?

[India]

We played with that hat for so long. The way it started was I. I was, like, talking about Zendaya or something and. Nobody steal this. Y' all better not steal my Halloween costume, because I know I have it way.

[Josie]

You look so cute. Is there. There's nothing, like, on there as far as, like, a filter goes, Right? Okay. It's just the hat that.

[Drew]

I actually am, like, low key offended that you asked if I had it.

[Josie]

No, I was. I was just confirming that there wasn't. It's the ha. It. It balances out your face, I think.

[India]

Oh, yeah. When we put the filter on Josie, though, it made his head, like, actually, like, penny size. I don't know why it did that to Josie. Josie, like, had no head. But the way that started was we were talking about how we were missing this hat for so long. We brought it back from New York from that one trip. It went missing. We hadn't seen it in so long, and we. I was to the point where I was accusing Josie of Loki stealing it and selling it because it's a cope of garcon hat. I was. We were talking to him about it, and I was like, you stole that fudgeing hat? And he just was kind of silent, and it seemed like he did. I was like, you saw, like, stole it and sold it. I fudgeing know you did. And then he was just like, how much was it? And I. I thought it was 800, but it was like a $300 hat. And I Think it was also on sale when we got it, but whatever. But I. In my mind, it was, like, an $800. I was like, that was $800, and Josie, like, freaked the fudge out. And then I. That further my suspicions that he probably fudgeing, sold it for 20 bucks and find out it was worth 800. Was like, oh, like, what the.

[Drew]

Should we insert the video of us finding.

[India]

Yeah, we need to find, like, we. We have a really gross closet that's, like, full of. And Drew just got up, and he was like, I feel like I know where.

[Drew]

This closet is crazy. It's crazy, y' all. Like, this is dangerous. You can find him.

[India]

Wait, there's.

[Drew]

Oh, he's right here. Oh, he has a tripod.

[India]

Wait, it's a he.

[Drew]

It looks so tired.

[India]

Wait, she actually looks, like, really good. Like, he hasn't aged a day since we've seen him. Wait, George. Oh, wow. It was so fun. That has. That hat has. This hat has been worth every penny.

[Drew]

I know. We have gotten. We have gotten, like, multiple, multiple, multiple bits out of it. We've had so much fun. Like, it's literally.

[India]

I don't think the designers ever thought they would. They would have brought this much joy with that hat.

[Drew]

They literally thought, like, it was a joke. Yeah, they thought it was a joke, but, no, this is very real.

[India]

But I decided I'm gonna be Zendaya with her big hat for Halloween, so I'm gonna buy, like, a suit jacket like that to find a full outfit picture. But that's my Halloween costume this year, so y' all better not take it. I know it's very ahead.

[Drew]

Yeah, it's ahead of itself.

[India]

Maybe I just do that for an episode. Like, should I just be Zendaya with big hat?

[Drew]

Yeah.

[India]

Let me not forget my big. Yeah. What I say to Josie when we kept accusing him of selling it, I was like, yeah. And every time you went and bought another fudgeing pop bar, you were like, let me not forget my big hat.

[Drew]

Yeah, big hat money. Okay, well, I was thinking about the show the Biggest Loser. That show is crazy, dude.

[India]

So many shows from that era are just so awful. Or, like, what not to wear. Did you ever watch that?

[Drew]

No.

[India]

What not to wear. They would literally, a family member would be like, you dress like you look like your makeup is, and you need help. They would call these two random people, like, these two, like, designers. I don't know what the they did. I don't know how they got the. The prestige.

[Drew]

Oh, did we do an episode of Field trip.

[India]

Like, yeah, we, like, made fun of Josie in that way. They would film them, like, candidly, walking around the mall looking like. And then pull them out and be like, look at yourself. And it would just be videos of them existing. They'd be like, you look like, you know that. You know, you walk around and you look like.

[Drew]

And then we need to put you on that show.

[India]

Look at that hat on your head. We gotta put.

[Drew]

Oh, you know, it looks good and you're jealous.

[India]

I hate that. Because of your hair. Like, it looks like you would wear that.

[Drew]

I know. It literally looks like proportionately. Like, it looks like a part of the outfit.

[India]

Sore from what?

[Drew]

The squats that we did on the treadmill.

[India]

Oh, yeah, right?

[Josie]

You can do squats on a treadmill.

[India]

Yeah, you, like, do lunges.

[Drew]

It's like walking.

[Josie]

Oh, that's really creative.

[Drew]

And then put it. Put it on, like, 15 incline, one mile. You are so beautiful.

[Josie]

Drew, did you. Did you see the investigation to Red 40?

[Drew]

No. Yeah.

[Josie]

This, like, medical journal released a bunch of side effects of. Says the use of red 40s concerning. Because it has been linked to a host of physical and mental.

[Drew]

Why did you point at me? Why did you point at me when you said mental? I was just like, genius. It's because I have this big cat. My brain, it's so big.

[India]

Y' all.

[Drew]

Y' all are wondering why I have this big hat.

[India]

That's why they want to top of my head the people to have power.

[Drew]

Exactly. It's my big fucking brain be exposed.

[Josie]

Anyway, it says it's linked to a host of physical and mental health issues, including add, adhd, allergies, immune disorders.

[India]

You do have allergies.

[Josie]

And then they said, because I'm allergic.

[Drew]

To these bitches, y' all.

[Josie]

They said the last side effect.

[Drew]

Immune disorders. It's because I'm immune to the hate.

[Josie]

Dude, why are you joking around? I'm literally trying to, like, tell you how serious this is. The last thing that they say is mindstorms, bro.

[India]

We had all of that.

[Drew]

Wait, hold on. Mindstorms. What is that?

[Josie]

Mindstorm.

[Drew]

Green needle. What is a green needle? Brains.

[Josie]

It says issues where the brains. It says issues where the brain's wiring or electrical activity has been dismantled.

[Drew]

So does that mean, like, my explosion.

[India]

40 is doing all that? Like.

[Drew]

I mean, isn't it made out of, like, bugs, blood or some shit like that?

[India]

Yeah, it's like beetle. Beetle.

[Josie]

Oh, I don't know.

[India]

Beetles.

[Drew]

Well, is that why I hear explosions and whispers that night is from the.

[Josie]

Explosions thing is like, do you know about exploding head syndrome?

[Drew]

I. Like, I've heard of it, and that's what people have told me, but I don't know.

[Josie]

Yeah, I didn't. I didn't know it was a real thing, but it's when you, like, wake up to the sound of a massive explosion.

[Drew]

Dude. And. And you can vouch for me. I'll, like, fall asleep on the couch, and then I'll be like. I'll wake up and be like, did y' all hear that? Did you hear that? Like, what happened outside?

[India]

What the are you talking about?

[Drew]

I was like, I swear. The house shook. I swear.

[India]

Also, wait, you were fully dead asleep on the couch at one point, and I was, oh, Drew is asleep, and we wanted to keep hanging out, and me and Josie were sitting there. I was like, oh, should we watch? Young Sheldon and Drew just, like, mummed for us. He was, yes.

[Drew]

Yes, bro. Young Sheldon has infiltrated my brain. Like, it's all I can think about. Wait, wait, but red.

[India]

Do you not have red 40? Like, do you not eat red fork?

[Josie]

No, I only eat natural Whole Foods.

[Drew]

Red 40 is a synthetic food dye made from petroleum. So it's a petroleum product from dinosaurs. Girl, RuPaul's been fracking Red for the whole time Grandma started Red 40 fracking business. Hello.

[India]

I really thought it was beetles. Oh, I think that's for makeup. There's, like, a makeup product. There's, like, an. Like, a certain red dye used for makeup that's beetles. And that's why certain brands are vegan and Beetlejuice.

[Drew]

Beetlejuice.

[India]

I just don't think that serious.

[Drew]

Okay, I'm like, I don't think I.

[India]

Care because I feel like we had all that shit before. So I'm like, well, now what? Yeah, it's only making us stronger. Yeah, if you think about it.

[Drew]

Wait, so I'm still hung up on you pointing to me when it said it causes mental issues.

[India]

You don't think my girl is mentally stable?

[Josie]

I mean, it's like, look. Look at him.

[India]

Expensive shirt, expensive hat. What else is there?

[Drew]

Yeah, my shirt is meth. No, Etsy. I think it's MDMA maybe or something like that. I don't remember what it is.

[India]

What did you say about mono? Mononucleus.

[Drew]

Mononucleosis. Wait, Kai, can you read the letters off to me on my shirt? Because I can't look down and see them.

[Josie]

M E T H Y. M E T, H Y. What is the other one?

[Drew]

Is it fennel?

[Josie]

Oh, is that an L, L, E N E D, can you move your hand? L, O, X, Y, M, E, T, H, A, M, P, H, E, T, A. And then the other one I can't see because your wieners in the way.

[Drew]

Oh, my God. Wait, is it. Oh, it is mdma, period, period. And I wore this to, like, my grandma's old folks home, and I was walking around with my shirt that just said, like, MDMA all over it, and I felt so weird. Rest in peace, grandma.

[India]

Oh, a moment of silence.

[Josie]

I think I'm just, like, kind of blown away.

[Drew]

Hi. We were doing a moment of silence.

[Josie]

Okay.

[India]

Hi.

[Drew]

Doesn't in.

[Josie]

Yeah, no, I do.

[Drew]

I do.

[Josie]

I just want to say I do respect your grandma, and we can start now.

[Drew]

All right, we're good. We're good. We're good. We got a second silence. Okay, let's see what my other notes.

[India]

Can we get a second of silence?

[Drew]

Oh. I talked about this at the college show, but my whole feed has been sourdough bread and psoriasis videos. The two don't really mix well.

[India]

I hate psoriasis videos. But scalp flakes? Yeah.

[Drew]

What I found out is that sourdough, you have, like, a culture that you literally have to feed every day. Like, it's a child. It. Like, it's crazy. It. That is, like, crazy person behavior. I thought it was just, like, a powder that you sprinkled into the bread that made it sour. Like, funky, but, like, no, like, funky. It's like a literal child that you have to feed flour every single day, which is, like, hilarious. And when I heard that, I was like, damn, I want to do that. And when it's, like, super bloomed and you have to, like, rotate it to, like, flatten it out and, like, let all the gas out, like, burp it. You literally have to burp your baby. I want to do that so bad. But anyways, psoriasis. I love psoriasis videos when they're. It's, like, in your scalp, and they, like, comb the flakes through your hair with that special comb, and then they have the comb that, like, collects all the dust in the tip, and they shoot it out like charcoal or, like, powder pellets, like, and it's all your dead skin. Like, I'm not kidding. I want to eat it like a tic tac. Like, I want it literally said that.

[India]

The flakes look like fish food, and he wants to eat it.

[Drew]

I want to eat.

[India]

That is, like, the grossest thing I've ever heard. Also, I'm not even hanging on people with psoriasis Because I have gnarly eyes. Eczema bitch. My fucking sky.

[Drew]

I got it right here, boots.

[India]

But the videos of that stuff, I just have realized I always known this, but I am so grossed out by humans. They fudgeing disgust, disgust me. And I don't want to see that. Like, I just want to see somebody looking. Like, I just want to see you from afar. And if you have, like, like, flakes in your scalp, I do too. But, like, I don't, like, imagine, like, going up to somebody just showing them your flakes.

[Drew]

I have a horror story about Dan Drift, but I'm not going to get into it because it's very traumatic. But, yeah, no, I want to eat psoriasis flakes, period, point blank.

[India]

Well, we need to talk about the scam of the century, which is fake leather being sold at high margins because they just put the word vegan in front of it.

[Drew]

Like, it's literally just plastic.

[India]

Like, it is plastic.

[Drew]

Wow.

[Josie]

Is it really just plastic?

[India]

I mean, a lot of it is. I think a lot of them, like.

[Drew]

Make it out of mycelium, and then I'd pay a premium.

[India]

A lot of the higher brands do claim to make it out of other things. Like, but wait, but then it's not vegan mycelium, because I've seen somebody said they made it out, like, like fish eggs or some before. Like, I don't know what the they.

[Drew]

Make it out of. Vegetarian.

[India]

Yeah, vegetarian leather.

[Drew]

Oh, have y' all seen those snail crushing videos? The snail egg crushing videos? Crushing, yes. And yeah.

[India]

Okay, like killing.

[Drew]

Okay.

[Josie]

Bright red ones.

[Drew]

Yes. So I thought you were.

[India]

Oh, Miss mister. Oh, it's only crime is being small is watching snail crushing videos.

[Drew]

No, no, it's the eggs. And it's an invasive, invasive species, and they lay, like, millions of eggs a year. So, like, if you see these clusters.

[India]

Why do you have a species like that every day? Like, every year? Because wasn't it the flying things, like the moths?

[Drew]

Oh, what the is this video? I hate this video.

[India]

Oh, they look like kids.

[Drew]

Raspberries. Imagine eating that. And I know it tastes good because nothing should be that color and not be canned candy, period.

[Josie]

Have you seen a snail laying it? Laying the eggs?

[Drew]

No. Can I? I want to.

[Josie]

Dude, it looks insane. It literally looks like an alien because it, like, it, like, transports them out onto its tail into, like, a cluster.

[India]

That is so, like, little raz.

[Drew]

Like, raspberry.

[Josie]

Please don't make that noise.

[Drew]

What?

[India]

Like, you want to eat?

[Josie]

It sounded like.

[India]

Yeah, dude, the Red 40 has gone to your Brain. Because anything you see that color. We were at the farmer's market walking around and Drew literally just saw bottles of pure red. Was like, oh, what is that? That looks so yummy. There was no description of what it could have been like. It could have been chamoy, it could have been hot sauce. It could have been like anything. It could have been kimchi. And he was like, oh. And like ran over to it and looked at all the bottles. He was like, oh, wait, this kind of sounds really good. As if he's going to put it on anything. He just like wants it because he's red.

[Drew]

You remember my arc of eating a color a day? Like, yeah, I tried to eat only red for a day, only blue for a day, only orange for a day. I didn't get very far. I didn't get very far.

[India]

But yeah, because God forbid you landed on green and you'd have to have vegetation.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[India]

Like, yeah. You're like, oh, that is.

[Drew]

This game isn't fun anymore. Okay. Sleep has been freaking me the fuck out recently. I like, literally, like, how does time happen so fast when you're asleep? But it happens fast for everybody. Like, no, I'm telling you, that's when the simulation is shutting down and they're literally putting us all asleep because the simulation can't handle two hemispheres of the earth all on at once. So we turn out all of our lights, we turn out all of our brain power, like all of that. Because it doesn't make sense.

[India]

It's so funny. You're like low key dead as literally.

[Drew]

Explain it to me. And then how do you only know you're asleep? Or how do you only know you slept when you wake up? Like, what?

[India]

Okay, you gotta stumped all of us again.

[Drew]

Yeah, because I got a big brain. I got a big brain. No, but sleep, like, what the. It's. I know what it is. Like, I know it's like to like whatever, but like really like, it's weird.

[India]

It's so funny because it's genuinely. I love it and it's so nothing. Like. And it also like makes me feel so bad when I do too much of it. But I like low key. Wait, guys.

[Drew]

Sleep is a drug. It is literally a drug. And I'm addicted, baby. I'm addicted to it.

[India]

This conversation just now reminded me of like, oh, if you had to wear vintage clothes, but it was dead people's clothes. That's where we.

[Drew]

I like, hell no. Hell no.

[India]

Shut the up. That's it. Okay.

[Drew]

No, no, no, no. I got A couple. I got a couple more. I got a couple more.

[India]

I want a puff bar so bad. Like, I'm. I'm done. I'm done. Because of being sick, I'm, like, off of it because it kind of just naturally. The first time I was sick, I fell off of it. Then we were going to the college show. I was like, I, like, need one for this because I want to just, like, sit in bed and suck on my baba. I got one. I got sick. I wasn't hitting it. Then we got home, and I went out one night, like, right after I got healthy, which is, like, such a crazy vibe. I didn't drink, but I need to stop doing that. Like, the day. You know what it is? It's just so exciting when I wake up and I could sing and dance, and then someone invites me out, I'm like, oh, my God. I really can sing and dance. Like, tonight is my night of dancing and singing and, like, using my body. But whatever. I had it that night, and then that night, I was disgusted by it, so I threw it away. But every time I do the podcast or play Fortnite, I want it so bad. Like, Fortnite podcast and drinking coffee, I want a puff bar so bad. And those are the only moments it crosses my mind. But I'm done. I'm fucking done. That's a lie. I think I'm gonna go get one after this.

[Drew]

Imagine doing S. Imagine doing S. And, like, rolling over. And instead of it being a cigarette, it's a vape.

[India]

I would literally win that place.

[Drew]

Really?

[India]

Yeah. And I. And I've done it with someone else, too. I'm like, here.

[Drew]

Okay. Oh, my God.

[India]

And, you know, it's worse. I've been the person to go out, smoke a cigarette, come inside, and still hit my buff bar in bed.

[Drew]

You're excited.

[India]

I don't give a. It literally doesn't matter. I actually don't think it matters. It's propaganda, and it doesn't matter. But it actually does, guys. Like, there's so many layers to it. What the ever, bro.

[Drew]

Literally.

[India]

But being sick so often really has had me thinking about what I put in my body. And I think that's why I'm trying to distance myself from it, because I don't. I, like, don't want fast food because it, like, it's freaking me out because I got sick too often. And, like, I don't want it. And I want to see what happens if I don't have it. And I want to see what happens if I don't have puff bar. But then I'm like, do I actually give a. Because the joy of being healthy after being sick, like, it's so weird.

[Drew]

That is so weird.

[India]

But I don't take my health for granted. Trust and you. What's crazy is, the day before I got sick, we were walking to the grocery store. Remember I was talking about that? I was like, it feels so good to sing and dance. Like, I just can't. Like, no one can take singing and dancing away from me. Yeah, that's it.

[Drew]

That is beautiful. And, like, really, at the end of the day, like, if you want to sing and dance, just sing and dance. Because, like, if you really think about it, like, life is all about, like, loving yourself.

[India]

Okay, that's real, though.

[Drew]

Sir, I was gonna ask you, what's your craziest? Like, oh, hear me out. Like, and then you show me someone who's sexy hot, but, like, I don't want to play this game anymore. Let's play a little game. Oh, in his bunk ass water bottle, bruh. Literally. I hate this thing, y' all. I hate this water bottle so much.

[India]

For 24 hours. And the hate I've received only from the men in my life have been like, oh, that stupid fucking big fucking water bottle. Fuck you, bitch. You don't even drink water. At least I'm sitting here hydrating myself, and I take care of myself. Bitch, you're going to get off of this. Go kneel down into the bridge and drink an old Coke. Like, you're going to get on my ass.

[Drew]

Yeah, you bet. Yeah, you're baba. You're big, pink baba.

[India]

Okay? Also, what's fucked up is I didn't buy this and, like, thank you to the person who sent it to me to the company. Like, God bless you.

[Drew]

The baba.

[India]

The big baba I keep getting made fun of for. But it's, like, kind.

[Drew]

Like, it's glad if I get sent one off.

[India]

It's so nice.

[Drew]

If I get sent one, maybe I'll be a reformed person. But until then, I don't know. It's just goofy looking.

[Josie]

At that object.

[India]

Hear me out. It's kind.

[Drew]

This is, like. This is kind.

[India]

One of our friends was like, get that, Normie stinky water bottle. Okay, that is not. That is, like, aggressive.

[Josie]

Like, that looks like a military.

[Drew]

This is brutalism. Like, this is, like, drab Russian architecture. Like, this is giving. Like, metal.

[India]

No, that's giving Iowa. Like, that's giving Iowa. This is giving. God. Sorry if you live in Iowa.

[Drew]

Okay. Oh, I didn't, like, get any Drew sigh up? Oh, hold on. Let's just go through the email real quick. Me. Okay. This is from Nora Cochran.

[India]

Oh, wait, Nora. What?

[Drew]

Hold on. I want to go to the strip club and throw quarters. That hard as. Oh, my God, guys, not me. My stomach. All right, Preston, let's see what we're working with. Preston, you better not fail me and make me look like a fool. Nope. Pussy stank, but clothes be fly. Bitch, you funky fresh. Oh, this is just a classic. Smoke their whole pregnancy and ask why the baby keeps crying. He need an eighth. Damn, Preston sent a bunch. Shout out, Preston. Mary.

[India]

Hey.

[Drew]

Oh, wait, here we go. This isn't from Preston. If I die right after I pay my rent, sit me on my couch till the 31st.

[India]

That's good.

[Drew]

Whoever. Oh, this is a good one. Whoever made Fortnite India, don't even wash her ass no more.

[India]

I thought I was over it, but I woke up bright and early again. After being sick. I woke up and I felt so amazing. I woke up naturally at, like, 9:30am which is a rarity for me. I was like, oh, Like, I have the whole day ahead of me.

[Drew]

It's called the bink.

[India]

Oh, my God.

[Drew]

It's called a bink.

[India]

In.

[Drew]

Yeah, you're drinking out of a bink.

[Josie]

She's trying to hide it too. Her body language is, like, trying to.

[India]

Hide, like, y' all are seriously haters, and I hope you both die of dehydration soon. How about that? Period?

[Drew]

At least I'll be skinny.

[India]

What was I gonna say? Oh, yeah. I woke up early as. And I was like, guys, it's a beautiful day outside. It actually was a gorgeous day. I was like, what do I do today? And then I played Fortnite for four and a half hours, and it was awesome. Honestly, I don't regret it.

[Drew]

If you say my username five times in the mirror, I'll show up and eat your butt.

[India]

Eat your butt.

[Drew]

Okay, this is the last one. Oh, no, no, no, no. Wow, it's, like, so quiet. What? I search. This is fun. Well, now there's, like, a bunch of pressure. Like, what if I don't perform, y'.

[India]

All, you know I'm gonna beat your ass. Oh, my God, y' all. There's something gorgeous about Discover Weekly. Like, when. Yeah, Hits when a discovery is a good playlist. Last night in my bed, I was literally, like, wiggling my toes in my sheets. I was like. Like, this song's gone. And then there's something so good about it because it gives me an ego boost. Because I'm like, y' all don't even know this fudgeing song. Like, I have to put you on. As if I didn't get put on by an algorithm. But neither here nor there. That shit is lit as fuck. And my Discover Weekly is so good. So that means it's going to be an awful week.

[Drew]

It's going to be a beautiful week. It's a beautiful neighbor day in the neighborhood.

[India]

It's a beautiful day.

[Drew]

Okay, this is, like, less of a Drew s up and just me reading a meme out loud. But this. These are my, like, prices for like. Like, this is. This is just, like, services. Yeah, for my services. Good. Yeah. All right, so for a print pick, it's gonna be a dollar for a dick pic, it's gonna be $3 for a nut video, $7 nut video with audio, $10 nut video with moaning, very crucial. $15. Nut video with screaming, $20, and then nut video with crying, $25.

[India]

Wow, that's actually, like, your prices are really healthy.

[Drew]

Yeah, I'm for the people. I'm for the people.

[India]

Are those, like, linked on your Tick Tock shop or.

[Drew]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tick Tock Bio. Tick Link Tree Bio. Whatever. Shout out, Preston. Can we get a round of applause for Preston? What was the other one? Conference Nora. Shout out, Nora. Okay. Okay.

[India]

See how I caught more for a woman, Period.

[Drew]

Period. Okay. Do you want to go first on music?

[India]

Well, don't mind if I do. I'm actually about to explode. Poop on my butt, so I need to hurry the up. Like, I'm not playing with y' all. Like, I'm about to make it. Stinky boots at 17 by Janice Ian. Plain Sailing by Tracy Thorne. Teardrops by Womack and Warmack and Marquee Moon by Television. Still Bumping Dim all the Lights by Donna Summer. Such a fun song. Play it with your girls. Everybody dances and sings like guys. We need to bring singing and dancing back. The simple joys of life. That is what God gave us when we were born. Was singing and dancing. Music makes me feel so good. Like, it, like, actually does something to my brain. The joy I felt last night when I was listening to new music. Oh, my God. It literally feels like. Like heroin. Yeah, that's it. That's why I don't need to do, like, crazy drugs. Because I have music. I have art. Guys.

[Drew]

Mine is box the 40 caribou. Cortisa crump by Cort or Cortisa Cortisa Star.

[India]

In the Morning we get back.

[Drew]

The 40 forever by my Lonely Black Crayon. If this album actually did come out in 2002, like, I know we're all like, we're all like, oh, like young, lean changed music. Yes, fully agree with. Oh, little B changed rap. Yes, I agree with. But the conversations that are not being had behind Black Cray is literally horrifying. Like, literally like a travesty to mankind because, like this music, like really shifted, specifically that album.

[India]

That's how I feel about DJ Chipman.

[Drew]

Still struggling, still shining. But that is not a hot take. I've seen people talk about that before and I'm not taking credit for it, but we need to have more conversation about it. Gengo, bk, the Ruler. Did I already say that?

[India]

No.

[Drew]

Okay. That's my media. And then I've been really dabbling back into big oiled up booty twerk compilations on YouTube. We've been looking up like fart videos too. Like India's been putting those on. Just like girls twerking.

[India]

Yeah, Like I like, like someone gets into the crybaby position, like the, the dance like on the floor, and then like with each like lift of the butt, they fart. That's kind of our vibe. That's just. But that's just something to throw on in the background while you're cleaning, if you're cleaning the kitchen, just to have.

[Drew]

On your TV back and forth like that.

[India]

Yeah, I think you do such a good fart wet fart sound. Oh my God, guys, I wish I could transfer in time last night to when we found this big hat. Like, I never felt so much joy. Last night was so joyous. There was joy all around. It's almost like all I knew was the sun and the birds. Oh, somebody actually tagged me in a tick tock that there is scientific connection to hearing birds chirping and like dopamine rushing to your brain like, like it actually does something good.

[Drew]

From Primal Ages.

[India]

Some of y' all need to read books to know. I just natur it and you're dumb. All right, I'm going to go blow up the bathroom. Bye, guys.

[Ryan Seacrest]

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