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Drew
This is an iHeart podcast.
Ryan Seacrest
Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Now through August 26th, it's back to Deals time where you can enjoy storewide deals and earn four times points. Look for in store tags to earn on eligible items from Kettle, Haagen, Dazs, M&MS. Ritz, Chips Ahoy, Arrowhead, All Poppy, Charman and Red Bull. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event long savings. Shop in store or online for easy drive up and go pickup or delivery subject to availability restrictions. App albertsons or safeway.com for more details.
Kai
Mint is still 15amonth for premium wireless.
Drew
And if you haven't made the switch.
Drew's Friend
Yet, here are 15 reasons why you should 1.
Drew
It's $15 a month 2.
Drew's Friend
Seriously, it's $15 a month.
Kai
3.
Drew's Friend
No big contracts 4.
Drew
I use it.
Ryan Seacrest
5.
Kai
My mom uses it. Are you. Are you playing me off?
Drew
That's what's happening, right?
Kai
Okay, give it a try@mintmobile.com Switch upfront.
Narrator
Payment of $45 for three month plan $15 per month equivalent required New customer offer first three months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra mobile.com from the executive producers of Outlander I know what it is to be parted. From your true love comes a new Outlander story.
Drew
Blood of My Blood I'm Brian Fraser. My father detested Darius. If you don't go to him, it'll haunt you forever.
Narrator
Watch the new season of Blood of My Blood Now I'll find a way out.
Drew
I swear it.
Narrator
Only on Stars in the Stars app.
Drew's Friend
What if you never find her?
Drew
I will.
Narrator
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Drew
Actually, I don't. I hate that song.
Kai
Take a look at mine.
Drew
Yeah. It's like one of those recession songs I always talk about. It just makes me so uncomfortable. Like, recession, core recession music. Music that destroyed my life. That's what it feels like.
Kai
There's the soundtrack music that was playing while my life was being destroyed.
Drew
Yeah. While, like, everything was crumbling around me. Right.
Kai
Why don't we hold hands anymore?
Drew
Because it's, like, too far.
Kai
I know.
Drew
It's really too far.
Kai
We must get closer.
Drew
We should just get rid of this table. Or you should sit on here.
Kai
Should I sit over there today?
Drew's Friend
Yeah. Mix it up.
Drew
Okay. This is like.
Drew's Friend
Oh, nice. The energy.
Kai
Oh, God. But they can see the.
Drew
Your lumps. Your lumps. You're literally dense in your chair.
Kai
And it's, like, dyed a different color from, like, sweat.
Drew
Is that what it is?
Kai
No.
Drew's Friend
Or is it your butt crumbling off dirt?
Drew
The sea.
Kai
It's just dirt from my butt dirt.
Drew's Friend
And I would assume, honestly, a lot of it is skin cells.
Drew
That's disgusting.
Kai
And if you. If you took, like, a blow dryer and blew into it, like, the crevices, like. Oh, blow. Yeah, blow like, head. It will, like, blow dust and dirt and dander.
Drew
Yeah. Every time I've moved it and there's been direct light on it and I just. You drop it and you see everything. Like, it's like a little.
Drew's Friend
We gotta make a video. Have you seen the ones in, like. It's like public transport. Like bus seats that are made out of fabric and.
Drew
Yeah.
Kai
Oh, they hit it.
Drew's Friend
We gotta do one with the seat, but, like, add a bunch of. On it.
Drew
I don't think you would need to add stuff on it. I'm not kidding. I think it would. I think you would see, like, quite a lot.
Kai
You can do it with this one too, a little bit.
Drew
Cool episode.
Kai
All right. Welcome to episode of emergency.
Drew
Well, I went to a psychic for the first time. I went to the same psychic that Drew went to. I don't think we had the same psychic, though.
Kai
We didn't have the same psychic, but I should update on that.
Drew
Oh, yeah.
Kai
Y' all know how I was, like, laughing in that bitch's face? I was laughing at everything she was saying to me. I was like, hehe. Haha. This, like, literally has no idea what she's saying. Literally everything she said to me came true.
Drew
Yeah.
Kai
Every single detail she said to me came true. I Left a non believer a year and a half later. I believe, like, that was. It was crazy. I don't want to go into the details, but like, oh, hell no.
Drew
Hell no.
Kai
Hell. Oh yeah.
Drew's Friend
I guess, like, the only one I remember is that there was a sinister person in your midst.
Kai
Yeah.
Drew
Yeah.
Drew's Friend
And then I got wrongly accused.
Kai
Yeah.
Drew's Friend
But it was not me.
Kai
I mean, wait, there's like smoke in the air.
Drew's Friend
You like that?
Kai
It's, like, faded.
Drew's Friend
I know. It's like euphoria.
Drew
Kai is sitting back there vaping.
Kai
Vaping on the job.
Drew
Yeah, he's vaping in the middle of his work day. So if you ever feel guilty about hitting your pen, just know that Kai Newman sits on his job all day and hits.
Drew's Friend
This is a DMT pen. It is not nicotine. This is. I'm opening my mouth.
Drew
Do they make DMT pens?
Drew's Friend
Yes, of course they do.
Kai
People, like, rip them regularly and they just like, have like the most life altering psychedelic trip at like a house party while, like, people are, like, playing beer pong three feet away.
Drew's Friend
Yeah.
Drew
Since when? I thought DMT was like. Really?
Drew's Friend
You can make dmt, people? It's like, not that hard to make.
Kai
It's like a tree root.
Drew's Friend
Yeah.
Kai
You boil it in your kitchen.
Drew's Friend
You make it out of bark. I'm pretty sure you boil it, like, whoa.
Kai
You distill it down into its crystalline form and then you mix it with some glycerin and then you smoke the glycerin.
Drew
You smoke the glycerin.
Kai
I think. Yeah, yeah, but I want to hear you do that. I want to hear. I want to hear your psychic story.
Drew
Oh, okay. I haven't told Drew anything because we wanted to wait for the podcast. I need to, like, properly set this up because it was the first of all. It was usually like a week and a half before my period starts. I.
Kai
You get mean and crazy. PMSing be crazy.
Drew
What if I went? I. I actually do. I get, like, extremely irritated and I want to kill myself and anybody within five feet of me. Like, I. I would love to die, period. So I. But. And my siblings were in town, period. And like, the day this started, my siblings were in town, so I was already feeling that, like, kind of like droney silent hill music in the back of my head. And like, everything I play, like, it's. Yeah, it's like not even going through my brain glazed.
Drew's Friend
Thought we were doing that. Wasn't that, like a thing that we were doing?
Drew
What the fuck are you talking about?
Drew's Friend
You like that?
Kai
Yeah.
Drew
Ew.
Drew's Friend
Like that.
Drew
Okay, stop. You have your hand holding. That's why I don't hold your hand anymore is because you're all up on this motherfucker.
Drew's Friend
No, I make him wash after pressure washer.
Drew
But I was not feeling good. But my sister, my little sister was in town and she wanted to go to a psychic so bad.
Kai
First thing she said, the first thing.
Drew
She asked for, and I was just like, oh, I don't know. Also granted, like, I'm just an overthinker in general. And I was actually like having a bit of existentialism about bringing a teenager to a psychic because of my head. I was like, oh my God, what if, like, she tells her something that her brain isn't ready to hear yet.
Kai
And it chemically alter. Changes her life forever, Changes the trajectory.
Drew
Of her life forever. But then I remembered that this is a child who's had access to infinite information since the moment she was born. And some of the shit she's seen on her iPhone, secluded in her room, I will have no capacity over. And she's probably already seen everything that's going to change her life on that.
Kai
There's sigils inside the iPhones. Circuit boards.
Drew's Friend
That's. That's true, actually.
Kai
Demonic situation.
Drew
Like signs. Like.
Drew's Friend
Yes. If you crack open a circuit board open. Yeah. If you split open a circuit board.
Kai
Circuit board.
Drew's Friend
You get in its guts. The guts of the. Anyway, I mean, if you rearrange the guts of the iPhone and then you create another circuit board outside of it, powering it from the original one, and then you attach a laser to it and then you look at it from a certain angle, you can see. You see sigils. Yes. And this is real. We've actually looked into this. But anyway, why can't buy lasers? Because we're setting up something in the basement.
Drew
But why, what are you setting up.
Kai
With all the time in the crawl space?
Drew's Friend
It's in the crawl space. We're putting in the.
Kai
You'll see, you'll see, you'll see.
Drew's Friend
It's basically a window into another dimension.
Kai
You'll all see ones.
Drew
It's actually so funny because I feel like my grandma when I hear y' all talk about technology like this. Because it actually infuriates me.
Kai
Like, it feels like also it's not real.
Drew
I know. No, I don't think you two morons are down in the basement and playing in the crawl space. This is barely here. No, he's getting up in some other crawl space.
Kai
I don't think I'm gonna say anything.
Drew
No, it literally Feels. It literally feels so demonic. Like, I really don'. With the AI, the Chat GPT. Like, all of it, the boards, all this. I don't with it. It's demonic. Anybody. Anybody partaking in it will burn in hell. And if not for all of eternity, for a while, you will see the devil for partaking in those sins.
Kai
No, you can, and I love y.
Drew
Y' all will get sent back up after you did your time, but justice will be served.
Kai
You can FaceTime chat GPT now.
Drew
Ooh.
Kai
You can, like. You can talk to it and be like, how does my hair look today?
Drew
Anybody shouldn't be allowed to own a gun. Absolutely not.
Drew's Friend
What if it's helping me? Or what if it's helping someone feel less depressed.
Drew
When it gets there?
Kai
What if we have a deep, deep, genuine connection and I think we're in love? Me and my ChatGPT robot?
Drew
Yeah.
Drew's Friend
What if it's telling me everything that I'm saying is correct and there are people following me?
Drew
Follow the oldest story of love and you should both kill yourself since you can't be together.
Drew's Friend
Romeo and Juliet, the new chap GPT came out. And then there were. There was, like, millions of people that were genuinely upset because they changed it to be less sycophantic and less, like, supportive. And there's people, like, genuinely trying to cancel OpenAI because antic.
Kai
Look at you.
Drew's Friend
Right? Yeah, I'm smart with the. Yeah, Sorry. Fuck. Okay. There's just a way that your eyes, anyway, they're just like, you took my friend away from me. And now Open AI is doing.
Drew
You know what's funny? I don't feel bad at all.
Drew's Friend
No, of course not. These people are insane.
Kai
Weirdest, bottom of the barrel.
Drew
Like, whoa, Crazy crazy. Also.
Kai
Just go and touch grass.
Drew's Friend
Touch. Anyway. You went to a psychic?
Drew
Oh, yeah. I was worried about taking my sister because she's a child. But then I remember she turned 17 in a month. And this is somebody who refers to her ninth GR as a face. She's glad she went through because she just doesn't have an affinity for alcohol like most teenagers. She is so fucking funny and smart and just so amazing. She really wanted to see a psychic. I had told her that I would take her because I say yes to anything anybody asks of me. And then I think about it later, and the last day we were all here, she mentioned it again. She. And she kept mentioning it, and I was like, oh, honestly, fuck it. I'm gonna take her. But I didn't want to say out loud that I really didn't want to go like that. I've always talked about it. That kind of stuff scares the out of me.
Kai
And I was so you got hexed? You hung up on like three of the.
Drew
Okay, not three, not three. Also the first lady try and put a hex on me, you dumb. You're not a psychic hoe. You're literally a scammer. Die, die, die. Like the, you know, I could find on my laptop. Well, let me not talk like that. Actually I was really scared when I first called her though. Cuz I called this woman, the first person I called to book an appointment with. I called and asked about a time and it says they were open from like butt crack of dawn till like 11pm and it was around 5pm And I was like, oh, can we come at like 8? And she was like no, I have to do 6:30. I. I only can do 6:30. And I was like okay, yeah, yeah, we'll do 6:30. And then she was like okay, well if you're gonna cancel, please call me and tell me that you're gonna cancel. Because I just had to move a bunch of stuff around so that I could get you in for this 6:30. Which I was like, what the fuck is she talking about? Because when she, I answered the phone, she was telling me to pick any time, whatever. I hung up and I start looking at reviews and they're all the worst reviews ever. It's like she's so fucking expensive. That's why she doesn't list her prices online. She literally like each session is like $300 and then she'll start doing something that she didn't tell you about. And then like you're just in this position where you feel like you have to pay and like all the reviews were bad. So I called back immediately. I was like, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, but I didn't realize I'm on the opposite end of town and it's going, wait, I won't be able to make it for 6:30. I think I'm just gonna like try and do this another day. Thank you. And then she was like, no, no, no, wait, wait, wait, don't hang up. Cause there is so much you need to know about your love life. And then I just hung up because I was like, no, I'm not. I am too.
Kai
You're cursed forever now.
Drew
Yeah, I got really scared. But I was genuinely. There was an hour. I don't know if you could tell.
Kai
No, I could tell. You were literally shaking in your fucking Boots. And I was like, girl, she doesn't know your name. She doesn't know your. She did.
Drew
She did. I did say my name. Name. Not my full name, but I did say you're. And yeah, but, like, yeah, I was really freaked out. And I was like, she's gonna put a hex on me. This stupid, nasty, scamming ass. And then I went to another place, and I went to the place Drew went to, but we didn't have the same lady because mine was like an older woman.
Kai
Yeah, mine was like a younger woman.
Drew
It was the most destabilizing hour or two hours of my life because we drove to this spot. It's like, kind of.
Kai
Did the lady do both of y'?
Drew
All? Yeah.
Kai
So you went and then your sister.
Drew
No, so Natalie went first, and then.
Kai
You went, and then I went.
Drew
So we go in and it's. It's like on a property with a huge sign for it. And I didn't think it was going to be a residential home because she has two locations. Drew went to the residential home last time. This one literally is a full ass looking business because it has the biggest sign on the planet. It right in front of it.
Kai
And I go, that, like, marketing is always so fascinating to me because every time I drive past, like, a psychic sign, I'm like, that's a sign. Like, I. I mean, literally, that is a sign. But, like, no, I'm like, that's a sign. I need to go in. Like, me.
Drew
When the Miss Rachel videos are working in. My cognitive abilities are catching up. That's a sign.
Kai
Coco Melon.
Drew
Who is doing that? Who is obsessed with stop signs? One of your nieces or something?
Kai
Oh, Luna.
Drew
Luna. Luna's obsessive. Stop. That's a sign.
Kai
That's a sign right there. That's my sign right there.
Drew
That's my sign right there. Okay. We have to do that when we're at, like, a spa. We don't want to be anymore. Like, that's our sign to go. We're like, that's my sign right there.
Kai
Yeah.
Drew
Yeah, Right.
Kai
All right.
Drew
Oh, my God. Actually, I didn't. I know. I did tell you about, like, this nasty who was, like, flirting with me.
Kai
That's the third time you've brought that up.
Drew
It's really jarring when you put your arm around me. I'm not kidding. That was the first thing I thought about because it really made me uncomfortable because I don't, like, don't put your big, meaty claws. Don't put your bare meaty Dry ass. Never seen lotion hands on me, like.
Kai
And those are thick, meaty claws. Those are beefy hands.
Drew
Who works at labor and you haven't seen the sun.
Kai
You sit at a computer all day. He's translucent. It's gonna be okay. It's gonna be okay.
Drew
Mind you, all this did was, like, touch my shoulder. Like, literally grab my shoulder. But not once, not twice. But, like, I literally. I think I want to take Jiu Jitsu.
Kai
I think you. I think you should take a boxing class.
Drew
Yeah. No, I don't want to do boxing, though.
Kai
Why?
Drew
I would rather learn, like, self defense because I don't think somebody. I. I could. I've never been the type. Although I talk about, like, my anger on here. Like, I'm super quick to anger in public if I'm ever in a situation where I'm uncomfortable. Really, I cowered away. Like, that's all a facade. And you guys are, like, kind of foolish for thinking I actually walk around the world with my dick in my hand, but that's on me. But I am so fake in that way. Like, people can do whatever the they want to me in my face because I am such a coward and I don't do anything about it. So I need. I want to learn, like, Jiu Jitsu, because to me, that's kind of self defense, I think would make me feel better. I'm just confident because I think, like, in a blind rage, I could do damage.
Kai
But you have to be worked up there to get there.
Drew
Yeah, but I also don't. I almost don't want that kind of confidence in fighting. Do you know what I mean?
Kai
Yeah. You'll use it and.
Drew
Yeah, because somebody would bother one of you, and if it was a bad day, I'd be in jail. Like, I just mock. Well, shit. But what are you saying?
Drew's Friend
Well, me and Drew are getting strong, so we could protect ourselves. You know, I don't know if you.
Drew
Yeah. You would never think to protect a woman or anything.
Drew's Friend
No, I've never even considered doing that. I didn't even know that was something I was allowed to do. I didn't even know yet.
Kai
This episode of Emergency Intercom is brought to you by zocdoc. Y', all. Do you remember that doctor appointment you were trying to make a while ago that you forgot about because you are adhd? Well, that's where Zocdoc comes into play. I don't know about you, but my social media is freaking me out. I literally need y' all to stop putting olive oil on your face. It's not going to help your skin. Please go to a dermatologist booked through zocdoc. As I get older I think I should go to the doctor more because I can't sleep at night. I'm stressed out all the time and I want to keep myself healthy but the system makes it impossible to find the right doctor for my needs. That was until I found ZocDoc. ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors and and click to instantly book an appointment.
Drew
Zoc Doc is the only reason I've been to the doctor. If I'm being honest, anytime anything in my body is going wrong, I open up that app. It's probably one of the most used apps on my phone because sometimes I can't lie. I just start to scroll around because I'm getting to that age where like between my shoulder blades hurts and I wake up with the kind of night sweats that are so wet and nasty. I wake up cold no matter what the temperature in the house is. And I definitely should go to the doctor and I'm actually going to go this week and I'm gonna open up the app right now. I think you guys should stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to Zocdoc.comIntercom to find it. Instant book a top rated doctor today. That's Zocdoc.com Intercom Zocdoc.com Intercom.
Ryan Seacrest
Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Now through August 26th it's back to deals time where you can enjoy storewide deals and earn four times points. Look for in store tags to earn on eligible items from Califia Farms, Pillsbury Crescent, Yoplay, General Mills, Prego, Bertoli, Heinz and Kraft. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event long savings. Shop in store or online for easy drive up and go. Pickup or delivery subject to availability restrictions apply. Visit Albertsons or safeway.com for more details.
Narrator
From the executive producers of Outlander.
Drew
I know what it is to be parted.
Narrator
From your true love comes a new Outlander story. Blood of My Blood.
Kai
I'm Brian Fraser.
Drew
My son. If you don't go to him, it'll haunt you forever.
Narrator
Watch the new season of Blood of My Blood now.
Drew
I'll find a way out. I swear it.
Narrator
Only on Stars in the Starz app.
Drew's Friend
What if you never find her?
Drew
I will.
Narrator
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Drew
But I didn't think this was going to be a residential place. And I walk in and I'm in someone's living room immediately. No ac, it's been hot in la and I'm wearing a zip up and like this vintage like shirt that I slept in that's like kind of all beat up and ripped and like you.
Kai
Were like rolling around in the grass like 30 minutes before.
Drew
Yeah, we were like laying around outside and I thought I was gonna be in a building that was like more like an office, but I was in someone's living room and they had very classically like, it felt like the furniture like my family would have.
Kai
Is it like mirrors on coffee tables?
Drew
Yeah, like mirrors on coffee tables. The couch is like a shaggy rug of sorts, almost material, like, and it's white.
Kai
Plastic plant in the corner.
Drew
Yeah, yeah. Like so humid, like very humid room.
Kai
Thick air.
Drew
Thick air. I walk in, there's a sofa here, a sofa here. Two guys, two grown ass men are sitting on the sofa. You could have said like, wait, what? To that. Two grown ass men.
Kai
Wait. I would have sat in between them.
Drew
They were watching golf. And then there's a family in the living room. Or not in the living room, but like in the dining area behind the couch. The two moms are like finishing feeding their kids. And I'm like, oh, this is literally, I just walked in after the family has had dinner. And then the woman who's the sidekick comes out of this room that's like immediately to the right. And she's like.
Kai
And she floats towards you.
Drew
Yeah, she's like, oh, what do you want? Like whatever. We decide what we want. Me and Natalie, you're both gonna get like a combo thing of like a tarot card reading and a psychic reading.
Kai
How much was y'?
Drew's Friend
Alls.
Drew
A hundred dollars each.
Kai
Oh, that's not bad at all.
Drew
Not bad?
Kai
No, like my. I. I can't remember it.
Drew
Crazy because it was only 20 less than my therapist.
Kai
Like, just go get your guys. Stop doing therapy and just go get your tarot cards read. I think it's like.
Drew
And stop taking that medication. It's making you worse.
Kai
I think stop taking your antidepressants and your anti anxiety medications and start taking like, marshmallow root or chlorophyll or if.
Drew
You have, like a mood stabilizer, you could fully just swap that out for electrolytes.
Kai
Yes. That is a new thing.
Drew
And it would do.
Kai
That is a new thing. Yeah. And I think, yeah, just stop up therapy all together.
Drew
And if you have a psychiatrist they're probably in love with you, don't trust them. Don't. Don't trust that. Have you. I wish you were keeping up with that even in the slightest.
Kai
What?
Drew
The girl who's, like, online claiming her therapist was in or her psychiatrist was in love with her.
Kai
No.
Drew
And she's like, claiming her therapist and her psychiatrists were, like, in cahoots to make her go crazy. Like, she's. Oh, she has two AI robots that she talks to as a therapist, essentially.
Kai
Wait, are there AI therapy bots?
Drew's Friend
Not.
Drew
Yeah, people use them like that. But hers calls her the oracle.
Kai
Pharaoh, please save me Pharaoh, Pharaoh, please save me I want you so bad.
Drew
Pharaoh, Pharaoh, I need you Pharaoh, tell.
Kai
Me I'm gonna be okay Pharaoh, Pharaoh.
Drew
I'm such a.
Kai
Pharaoh.
Drew
The Pharaoh. Josiah.
Kai
Josiah. Yeah, that was up. He stole Hulu. He stole from Josiah.
Drew
I mean, Josiah would never have to sing again if it wasn't for the Pharaoh. Now he's, like, destined to a life of singing and dancing. Poor guy.
Kai
He's just a jester.
Drew
But I. Yeah, so we decide on that. She asked who goes first. I was like, nathalie, because I'm not about to leave Natalie in this living room with this family. So then I sit down and this actually, this gives the perfect description of how I navigate my life. On the way there, I brought my notebook that I've been drawing in, like, two color pencils, a sharpener, and headphones in, like, a little bag. And then when I got there, no, I didn't bring a joint because I was like, I can't be high for this. Like, I literally don't want to be high. Because it will freak me the fuck out if she starts saying anything correctly. I kind of wish I got high, though, but I'll explain that later. So I go inside this house, I sit down, and I'm incredibly uncomfortable already. It's like 85 degrees in this house and I'm starting to sweat. And I'm embarrassed because the shirt under is, like, I wasn't anticipating a family to be around. And it's this, like, vintage shirt that's, like, kind of see through a bit. Like, not really, but it just, like, felt weird to be in someone else's house. Like, I just have, like, very OG ideas of, like. Like, decorum. And to me, being in, like, an almost translucent shirt is enough of a crime. Being in someone else's house with their family, like, and there's two men on the couch. I don't know. It's, like, weird. Like, I don't want to do that.
Kai
So I'm trying to steal her over husband.
Drew
Yeah. That's literally the kind of, like, crazy I'm raised up on is like, you're a. It's like, no, your husband is actually a freak, but whatever.
Drew's Friend
Husband.
Kai
Husband. Stitch.
Drew
Husband.
Drew's Friend
Hole.
Drew
I want some of your husband hole so bad. Thank you. Can I have husband home? Can you believe some people talk to their partners like that? That's crazy.
Drew's Friend
Do they, like, call each other husband whole?
Kai
No. Like baby talk.
Drew
Like baby talk.
Drew's Friend
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Drew
Because he's like, that's normal.
Kai
What are you talking about?
Drew's Friend
That's not my vibe at all.
Kai
Kaiser Sapiosexual.
Drew's Friend
It's true.
Drew
Kai is a homosexual.
Drew's Friend
No, I'm a saviour.
Drew
I saw Ace. I saw Ace in real life. I saw Ace, Shelly and Nick in real fucking life. It was awesome.
Kai
And Ace was on his iPhone and his phone kept blowing up. Like, just a billion calls. Like, one after another. 300 text messages coming through. It was the craziest. I thought, like, some shit was for real going down. Nope. It was Fofo texting him. The character Fofo in Love Island.
Drew
Pepe.
Kai
Pepe.
Drew's Friend
Frou Frou.
Kai
True Fru. The character True Fru.
Drew
I can't remember what Drew called him.
Kai
Like, I called him Fo. Fo. Fifi.
Drew
Fifi. It was Fifi o'.
Kai
Hara. Oh, fuck Fifi o'. Hara.
Drew
Who is that? Oh, Fifi. Okay, okay, okay. Ah. Some like. I think people think I'm Fifi. I'm the Fifi. I think I'm Fifi.
Kai
I feel like I'm the RuPaul.
Drew
You're the oil baron.
Kai
Of it all. Speaking of RuPaul.
Drew
What, the Roblox game?
Kai
No, what we were talking about in the car last night with Josiah and Mason.
Drew
Oh, Drew is obsessed with Ross Matthews. Ross Matthews. If you hear this, Drew just get enough of you. He wants Ross Matthews so bad and he's trying. He tries to act like he hasn't multiple times while we've been watching Drag Race. Every time Ross is on the screen, that orange glow is enough to get Drew blue.
Kai
No, I choose the fucking tv. If I had to choose anybody from the judging panel, any guy from the judging panel, it would be Ross. Matthew.
Drew
That's not what he said. He said he.
Kai
He was like, he hilariously talented. Ross.
Drew
Matthew, the hilariously talented Roth Matthews.
Kai
You need Instagram. Jessica Obvious. You need Instagram.
Drew
No, but he is so funny and I love him so much, but it's just like so off the wall. And that was not how it happened. You randomly just said he's fine. Shit. One day, like one day, you randomly just let that come out of your mouth. And me and Josie have never. Do you know who that is? Can you please look him up, Kai? So you like.
Drew's Friend
No, I know who he is. I know.
Kai
Why do you know?
Drew
I know.
Drew's Friend
He's like the 45 year old guy, right? Isn't he 45 and he's 5 10.
Drew
Okay. You looked up, but yeah, that's your bae, that's your man.
Kai
Yeah.
Drew
And then I was asked, he was acting like he doesn't know who Ross is. Because then the other day I was like, oh, it's Ross. Gonna be there tonight. And he's like, oh, Ross, like, blah, blah, blah, like one of our agents or something. I'm like, no, you're bae. That's your girl.
Kai
No, no, no, no.
Drew
You want him back. See how silent he got, though? Like, it is kind of jarring. And you're kind of blushing.
Kai
I mean, he is fine. Ross. Matthew is fine. Shit. Matthews. Matthew. See, I don't even know Matthews.
Drew's Friend
It's actually Matthew.
Drew
He's acting nonchalant. He's like, Ross, whatever your name is.
Kai
Should I raise up Ross Matthews?
Drew
Yeah, shoot. Your shot right now.
Kai
I love your pale skin.
Drew's Friend
Oh, was that an egg?
Kai
I love your balding head.
Drew's Friend
Is he balding?
Drew
I don't think he's balding.
Kai
Receding.
Drew's Friend
A slight recession.
Kai
Yeah. Nor wood for.
Drew's Friend
Yeah. Recession indicator.
Drew
What does that mean?
Drew's Friend
Norwood measurement for male powder baldness. No, you're like.
Kai
You're a negative one.
Drew's Friend
You're a zero. You're mogging us.
Drew
I think I'M gonna go to Turkey.
Drew's Friend
You said hairline.
Kai
I want to get really up. Veneers in a beard transplant in Turkey. Yeah, like that one photo. I like his smile. I like his smile.
Drew
I like his smile. Yeah, he's that cute. But I get into this house, I sit down, I'm overheating. I don't have my headphones. All I can think about is, like, Nathalie's in this room with this random woman who I just paid a hundred dollars to take my little sister into this room. And I'm in this family's house, and I'm really overthinking, and I was, like, overheating crazy. And then I was looking at my phone and I saw some shit that pissed me off. So I went on, like, a complete muting spree. And I was just, like, upset and uncomfortable, and I didn't want to look at my phone, so I turned my phone off and.
Kai
Wait, who said something that pissed you off?
Drew
No, no one said anything. I just saw something that made me like. Oh.
Kai
Is it what I think it is?
Drew
Yeah, bro. Like, I got a taste of my own fucking medicine and I didn't like it, and I was upset and annoyed, and so I turned my phone off and I, like, teared up. So now I'm sitting in this living room kind of tearing up, and I just put my phone down. And they have these two little kids, and, you know, I like something about kids, like toddlers who are able to talk with me. They can sense that they could get me to get up and play with them. So they always kind of, like, come up and try to talk to me. And I was in this weird, like, closed off set setting where I was just so uncomfortable. I didn't say anything and I did not look at anyone in that family. The whole hour I sat there waiting, Nathalie. And all I could think the whole time was like, dude, I am like a grown adult. I could stand up right now and just be like, I'm gonna wait in my car and go outside, like, it would be fine. Or I could go out and get the notebook that I brought here to bring in for this reason. Like, and I just felt so paralyzed and uncomfortable. And I felt like anything I do did was gonna change my fate. Like, it was just weird. Like my ocd.
Kai
No, I don't play about that shit either. Like, that shit, like, literally freaks me the fuck out. Like psychics and all that. Like, yeah, I take it dead serious. Even though it's non. It's fucking real. And I Know that deep down, but, like, the way it, like, affects my brain. Like, we were talking about it last week when it's like, those videos pop up on your fudgeing feed and it's like, save this sound and make a video to the sound. It can be private or your family will die. Like, that shit, like, means something to me genuinely.
Drew
But I do think part of it is just, like, weird anxiety and, like, ocd. Because I do think, like, the average person is just like. My sister was definitely just like the psychic that I. Because part of the reason I didn't want to inter interact with that family. I'm not kidding. Is because I felt like if I opened my energy to them, I was like, almost like, breaking a rule. Because, like, this is this woman's business. This is not a family for me to partake in. And I don't want some emotional, like, opening vortex to happen here. Because also, I do have a problem that, like, if I meet people and I like them, I suddenly feel like I need to give these people everything. Like, I would love to, like, provide everything for these random. So I was just, like, blocking myself off. Off. Nathalie comes out. She's smart as and normal. And she's like, can I wait in the car? And I was like, yes, please. She goes in the car. I go into this room with this woman. At this point, it's 98 degrees in the house. Like, it has gotten, like, extremely hot. And the room is a tiny box of a room with a table in the middle. And it's her on one side, me on the other side. And when I got in there, it was so hot that even she was, like, kind of having a hard time. She's like, oh, it's hot in here. And then open the door to the living room. She's like, I'm gonna leave this open because it's so hot. So now I'm like, oh, cool. My experience is going to be me listening this golf tournament and this family while, like, this. And I'm listening to them talk about, like, they're sending someone to the store and, like, whatever. And, like, she's having me shuffle the cards and say my name. And then she was, like, trying to call her. I'm assuming it's her son whose house it was. And she was trying to call him to get him to open the windows, and he just was either not listening or did not hear that girl. And I was like, okay, I'm. I can do it. And then she was like, no, no, no. And I was like, it's okay. Like, I could do it. She was like, the windows are painted over. The windows were brand new. But I was like, no, it's okay. I can open them. And I opened it and, like, opened the windows first, and then she closed the. And we started shuffled the cards, said my name, said my birthday, blah, blah, blah. And then she lays out my cars. And I wish I, like, asked to take a picture of my cards or something. The only one I, like, really remember is the. The one that's, like, the star. It's like, the first one was, like, the star. I remember on this side, there were, like, ones with, like, trees and people hanging out and stuff. Like, it was, like, sweet, but. But basically I went in there thinking she was about to be like, your life is gonna crumble and you're gonna kill yourself soon. Which, honestly, would have been such a relief to know that that joy was coming. But it actually, I didn't. She did not. She did not say, like, anything bad. She didn't say anything bad.
Kai
Yes.
Drew
She was like. Or at least not anything that I perceived as bad. Like, she definitely, like. She started off by just, like, telling me about my life. She was like, oh. She was like, you seem like somebody who. She was like, you're very open to people. You lead with your heart, not your logic. It gets you in a lot of trouble, but you're still somebody to, like, always choose your heart over your, like, logic because you know that you'd rather like. She was just calling me basically, a sacrificial lamb. And I was like, yeah. And she was like, three loves in your life have really hurt you. And then she was like, one was from your family, and two was from relationships. And then she said that, like, she was like, oh, the person in my family, like, it took a lot to trust them, but, like, they disappointed me a lot. But I continue to trust them. And I, like, do that with a lot of people in my family. And then the two loves is, like, both of them. She said that it was like, again, that, like, sacrificial lamb of, like, the first one. It was like, you loved them maybe more than they loved you. Blah, blah, blah, blah. That one really hurt you, and it hurt you so deeply. And she was like, but even that second one is, like, still hurting and is hurting you deeply. And then she was just talking about.
Drew's Friend
That's crazy.
Kai
Crazy.
Drew
She was saying that, like, my love life is what's gonna give me trouble. She said, the next three to five years are going to be, like, extremely tumultuous. And hard for me. And, like, I'm not gonna find, like, the thing that is gonna satisfy me, like, or something.
Kai
That's, like, kind of a perfect timeline for you.
Drew
Yeah. Also, like, that's exactly what I've. No offense, like, I'm pretty tucked into my life, and I've been feeling that, which is. Okay. So when her. She said that to me, I was like, oh, that's gonna be my problem. I don't give a. Like what? Like. Like.
Kai
That too shall pass.
Drew
And I'm sure I'm going to be the who in two years. I'm like, I want someone. Like, I want to date someone. I don't care. Like, I seriously didn't care. At least right now, I don't give a. But then she said. She said that my work life. She was like, oh, your work life has been, like, tumultuous. And she was like, but you're getting back to a place where, like, you feel satisfied. And she was like, the next four months, you're going to see, like, things, like, unfold for you that, like, are going to actually make you happy. And then she was like, I think your biggest issue is, like, everyone thinks you're happy, but you're not happy. And she was like, deep, deep down, you were just, like, so unsatisfied. But it has nothing to do with anyone or even yourself. Like, there's just, like, you're on a hunt always for something. And she said that. She was like. She said a bunch of.
Kai
I'm, like, applying all your shit to my life, by the way. I'm like, yeah, yeah.
Drew
Well, it's because, to be fair, we, like, live as a couple. The things that woman said for you affected me, too. It's literally because we are, like, partners in life. And I think that's what a lot of people also don't understand about close friendships. And that's why friendships really fucking don't last. For them is because you do have to make the commitment you make in, like, romantic relationships or familial relationships. If you love this platonic friendship enough, you have to know that, like, there will be moments where you have to look at the person next to you and think, like, damn, am I that much of a sacrificial lamb that I'm gonna ride for this person? And, yes, because it's, like, the love of my life and one of the best people I've ever met and such a good person. Back forth. You too. Also granted that confidence literally comes from. Because this woman, who I paid a hundred Dollars said that to me. Like, that was one of the first things she said. She was like, you're a good girl. You're a good person. And I literally started crying immediately. I literally started sobbing. And what was I gonna say? Like, what else was she saying? Yeah, she was just, like, going on about that. Oh, and then she said that she was like, there's a lot of things you like to do, but, like, you haven't found the thing that, like, makes you full yet. And she was like. She was like, need to be filled. Full where? Like, what's getting filled?
Drew's Friend
What's the.
Drew
This.
Drew's Friend
Wow. Sexy.
Drew
Like, feel how warm I am.
Kai
No, it's really hot in here. And I have heat rash behind both of my knees and in my armpits and in my forearm pits. And it's being reignited right now.
Drew
Reignited.
Kai
And I thought it was ring worm for a second, but I think it's. I. I literally just had fever, went to the beach, lathered my body in oil, and then just trapped the sweat inside while I was breaking fever. And yeah, I was lathered up in oil. Was lathered up. But, yeah, I just have, like, fucking scars all over my body now. Wounds.
Drew
Yeah, you do. It's sad.
Kai
It's really gross. Don't get heat rash.
Drew
Y' all avoid it at all costs.
Kai
Please don't do it. It makes me feel disgusting. And look at myself in the mirror and I'm grossed out by what I see even beyond my heat rash.
Drew
Well, I have eczema, like, on a lot of parts of my body. As you were talking about that, I just remembered that the reason we found out and realized my eczema was so bad because remember there was a time where I thought I was allergic to baby bottle pop and I used to talk about that. Now looking back, I'm like, oh, that is. What happened was when I was in elementary school, like, a bunch of kids got ringworm. And then, like, it seemed like I kept getting it and keeping it right here, but then I had an allergic reaction to a baby bottle pop and all my eczema, like, right here and down, like, my neck flared up. And then I went and got an allergy test and I have fucking eczema. But, like, that is exactly how I feel with a flare up, like, especially. Cause it's like my flare ups are right here and then, like, on my neck and just like in such visible places.
Kai
I know. I hate it. I fucking hate it. You need a good bob talking shit about me. My left ear is Ringing.
Drew's Friend
It's not me. It's not me.
Kai
Who is it?
Drew
It looks like he closed a bunch of tabs, so he's probably texting about you.
Drew's Friend
My three group chats, guys.
Kai
Fortnite is gonna have proximity chats.
Drew
I am so excited.
Kai
I literally can't wait to scream at little kids. That's enough to bring me back. Like, I want to bully little kids. I want to scream because, like, literally getting on Roblox and being my big age and just like, trolling kids is like the most fun I've ever had on the Internet ever in my life.
Drew
It's so fun to tell a random kid that you're gonna tell their parents on them.
Kai
Yeah. It's also like a rite of passage because I was getting bullied box by like 20 something, 30 something year olds all the time. Like, I can't wait to do it. Unfortunately. Get off my phone.
Drew
Someone was annoying the out of me. But. Oh, yeah. And then she said something in the next year that I've been like, doing is going to like. Like, it's gonna be like a puzzle falls into place and it's just I. I'll feel satisfaction and. But she said it's gonna be something that helps a lot of people. And I was like, okay, that can really. Like, what the does that mean, bro? Like, what are you. What are we talking about?
Kai
I know what it is.
Drew
I think I do know what it is, but I don't know. Yeah, she said a lot of really good things, but then she said she was like, oh, you're usually a very, like, vivacious and bright soul, but right now there's just something that's kind of like, like, dragging you down. And like, there's just something that's like, it feels like you're like, coated in like, a film or something. Like, it's just. There's something blocking. And then she was like, there's something blocking your chakras, but I can clean them for you. And then she. Yeah, and then she started to try to sell me that. But I. I think I will go back to her also, because I just love her because any older Latin woman, I'm like.
Kai
Abulita. Abulita. Abuelita. Coco.
Drew
Coco. Abuela. I don't know my grandma's name.
Kai
Is it Abuela?
Drew
Me? Yeah. No, she's told me her name so many times. I'm just a piece of. I don't remember. Well, to be fair, like, I only called her Grandma.
Kai
I don't know my mammals. No, no, yeah, I do.
Drew
Yeah, I know your Grandma's name. Yeah, but people call her by her name.
Kai
Or. No, not that. Grandma on my mom's side. Mama know her name. It's Meline and my mom's middle name.
Drew
Oh, that's cute.
Kai
Yeah, it's really cute.
Drew
But, yeah, she said all of that and then, oh, this was like, my favorite part. At one point, she, like, backed up from my cards and she was looking at them, and then she was like, is that your sister in the car? And for anybody who doesn't know, me and my sister don't look alike. I don't think anybody. Usually no one's ever thinks we're sisters. We look pretty different. And she was like, oh, are you sisters? I was like, yeah. And then she was like, oh, my God, that's so funny, because I. I obviously I did her first, and I didn't know if you guys were related or anything. I thought you guys are just friends. And I'm looking at the cards, and usually in cards you can see, like, if someone's related to someone, it's, like, so apparent. And she was like, you. Your cards are so similar in the ways siblings cards are similar. But there's, like, a few missing things that kept me thinking, like, no, I don't think they're siblings. And she was like. But a lot of, like. Basically the upbringing part she said is, like, was identical. And that's what she kept. She kept being like, these people are so similar. Like, in a way that siblings are so similar. Which was cute because I was like.
Kai
That'S your little mini me.
Drew
That's my girl. Natalie is so funny, bro. Leo is also just so. My siblings are awesome. I love them so much.
Kai
I'm about to derail the conversation into a completely different place. I think making a bag of popcorn at home is so deranged. I think that is scary person behavior. And, like, it's really. No, like, getting a bag of Orval Peck and popping it in the, like, night.
Drew
Like, what are you talking about?
Kai
I can't get behind it. With no. With no movie playing on the tv, you're making a bag of popcorn. Like, if you have a reason to do it, I'm like, make that bag of popcorn. But just making a bag of popcorn.
Drew
As a snack, when is that, like, an invalid snack? You walked around the house yesterday eating a huge fucking sausage that he got from Costco. And then I went to Costco, and then I went in the fridge this morning, and where was that sausage? Not dipped back into that ugly package that he got? No, it's lean up against milk in the fridge.
Kai
The person I was with get the.
Drew
Milk and the the sausage just rolls to the back of the fridge.
Kai
I use that as a brace. But the person I was with was like, you're not going to be able to put any of this in the refrigerator because it's so ugly. All of the Costco packaging is ugly. They need to do something about it. Where's the options? I will say my first experience at Costco was major. It was like, is that your first.
Drew
Time at a Costco period?
Kai
Yes. Like I thought you had it up growing up.
Drew
Like you were kind of the broke one.
Kai
No, we had Sam's Clothes Club broke. Yeah. Brookie. No, but I shopped around this Costco. Who the is Coco? Who is Sam? My dead brother. Yeah. Who the is Coco?
Ryan Seacrest
Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Now through August 26th it's back to Deals time where you can enjoy store wide deals and earn four times points. Look for in store tags to earn on eligible items from Kettle, Haagen, Dazs, M&M's Ritz, Chips Ahoy, Arrowhead, All Poppy, Charman and Red Bull. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event long savings. Shop in store or online for easy drive up and go pickup or delivery subject to availability restrictions.
Kai
Apply.
Ryan Seacrest
Visit Albertsons or safeway.com for more details.
Narrator
From the executive producers of Outlander.
Drew
I know what it is to be parted.
Narrator
From your true love comes a new Outlander story.
Drew
Blood of My Blood I'm Brian Fraser. Nice father detested Darius. If you don't go to him, it'll haunt you forever.
Narrator
Watch the new season of Blood of My Blood Now.
Drew
I'll find a way out. I swear it.
Narrator
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Drew's Friend
What if you never find her? I will.
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Drew
Wasn't that delicious? So good.
Kai
Your bill, ladies.
Drew
I got it. I got it. No, I got it. Seriously. I assist. I assisted first. Oh, don't be silly. You don't be silly.
Kai
People with the Wells Fargo Active cash credit card prefer to pay because they.
Drew
Earn unlimited 2% cash rewards on purchases. Okay. Rock, paper, scissors for it. Rock, paper, scissors. Shoot. No, the Wells Fargo active cash credit card card. Visit wells fargo.com ActiveCash terms apply.
Kai
But no. I went shopping randomly. A lot of like sub 13 year olds shopping at Costco. The kids are buying the groceries these days.
Drew
What does that mean?
Kai
And they're washing their cars. They're, they're, they're, they're the breadwinners of the family. Don't come here.
Drew
Okay.
Kai
Costco was a movie. I spent $200 on candy and Ramon soda and a gallon tar. A gallon tub. A tub. Not a. A tub of cottage cheese, which I'm going to up in Joshua Tree. Oh my God, it's going to be so good. I bought like 152 foot long sausages.
Drew
A tub of cottage cheese.
Kai
How do you think it got in a car?
Drew
No, for three to four hours.
Kai
Two and a half in.
Drew
You know that car ride's going to be longer.
Kai
Yeah, it's going to be longer.
Drew
Oh, we're taking it slow and steady. And that's my sign right there.
Kai
That's my sign right there. Yup, that's my sign.
Drew
But you're gonna have it heating up in your ass trunk.
Kai
I don't give a.
Drew
For four hours.
Kai
No, I'm gonna put it in the front. It's insulated.
Drew
Is it? Actually, no.
Kai
But Costco was a movie. Had the Costco dog. It was delicious. Put about 3 pounds of mustard on it. Which was actually really scary because at one point my, my Costco hot dog with 10 pounds of mustard rolled off the packaging and rolled onto the table. And I moved it immediately and then wiped up the mustard immediately. The way that mustard stained that table, like it was scary. It was like it really freaked me out. And I was like, that's what I'm putting into my body right now. Like what it, like literally what.
Drew
Also you're.
Kai
And I ate the rest of the hot dog.
Drew
Yeah, the hot dog was just on the table. Too.
Kai
Yeah, I didn't give a. Well, no, I was thinking the. It was mainly the mustard.
Drew
The mustard caught all the bacteria.
Kai
Yeah, I peeled it off and there was like still a layer.
Drew
Did you wipe that mustard off on the table or the, the mustard that was left on the hot dog. Did you wipe it off or you use that.
Kai
I ate it, but it didn't touch the table. The other mustard touched the table. Someone out there understands.
Drew
I. I get your logic, but you're.
Kai
Like kind of also chicken bakes. They're so good. They are so good. It's. And it's so much food for the price, the color, the flavor is amazing. But the way look of it that sat in my body should be considered a crime against humanity. Like that was. It was really intense to go through the rest of my day with a chicken bake in my body. And I only had like five bites of it, but it was like. It was really, really, really up what it did to me. But yeah, it was really crazy. All of the kids were shopping for their groceries.
Drew
Why are you saying that? Like, why do you keep saying that? Is that like a thing that people say? No, it's just like a joke. You and like somebody are trying to like pick off the floor. Like you're trying to like jump start it.
Kai
Yeah, I'm just trying to make it a thing. I also used aluminum free deodorant for the first time and Wait.
Drew
For the first time ever?
Kai
Yeah, I'm pretty sure.
Drew
Oh, I guess. Yeah. Because you've always used like.
Kai
I use gel. Yeah, I love. I. I used to get chemical burns from. What's that blue one with the red bottle? Old Spice. They gave me like helichemical burns I will never forget.
Drew
My first boyfriend would get the worst chemical burns from that and continued to use it. And I had to like explicitly tell him to just stop using it and.
Kai
Just get a new deodorant.
Drew
And then he. It stopped burning.
Kai
But to my original point, I used aluminum free deodorant for the first time like a couple days ago. I think that shit is designed to make you smell worse. So you buy more and apply more all the time. Just like EOS lip balm. Just like fucking dangerous.
Drew
What's sampu?
Kai
Sampaku eyes. It's when the whites of your eyes show and it means you're gonna die young.
Drew
Young.
Kai
I have senpaku eyes sometimes everybody does.
Drew
Sometimes when I look up, everybody has.
Kai
Everything sometimes and everything is bad for you if you do too much of it. Everything means nothing to Me?
Drew
Yeah. I use anti perspirant. Like I use a deodorant that on any app you look on, it's definitely gonna kill me. And that's exactly what it should be.
Kai
And that's. I don't give a if it's giving me armpit cancer or whatever. Like I literally don't care.
Drew's Friend
I use the natural stuff and I.
Drew
Can tell it works. I'm pretty sure it works for you. To you.
Drew's Friend
No, I ask other people.
Drew
No, it's because it's blocking those, those aluminum ones. What they are good at is the like scented part kind of squeezes out the like part where you're sweating and then you get the scent.
Kai
Do you know what I mean?
Drew
That you get from when you raise your arms is fucking stench.
Drew's Friend
Oh, you're on the.
Kai
You know what I'm good at?
Drew's Friend
What?
Kai
Banging both of yalls moms poo poo style from the back.
Drew's Friend
I did notice that you were good at that.
Kai
Yeah. We, me and Kai ran into each other at 1am really completely random on Saturday night.
Drew's Friend
Saturday, you're gonna tell people?
Kai
Yes. So I was walking in Silver Lake across an overpass and I just was stood in the middle of the overpass staring at the traffic for literally like five minutes. Because I was like, one, I could kill myself right now and that would be awesome. Two, it's beautiful. It's like the arteries of the city. Like, it's a gorgeous thing to see all these like Angelinos, like keeping the city alive. They're like carrying the oxygen through the city. And it was like a beautiful. Yeah, Sonder. No, I wasn't feeling Sonder.
Drew's Friend
Really?
Kai
Yeah, no, I was like, this is like a beautiful thing. I was like, this is gorgeous. The like freeway is the interstate. What is it called? An interstate highway? Freeway. What the. What it literally. What does that mean? Are they different? Are highways and freeways different?
Drew
Yeah, I think so. Because the highway. Because technically, like in Miami the US One is considered a highway. But I think a freeway is when it's huge. A freeway is what America loves.
Kai
Can we just call them roads? Like, are we allowed to just call them a road?
Drew
Literally, conservative people when they found out non binary was an option. Can we just call them roads?
Kai
Can we just call them a road?
Drew
Me, when I'm at the, the, the workshop meeting with Haley Bieber right before the makeup started, can we just call it road?
Kai
That. That.
Drew's Friend
That was good. That was really good.
Kai
That was really sick. But yeah, I was, I was contemplating suicide and then it's just that Time of year I eventually. Yeah, exactly.
Drew
And like literally is.
Kai
I mean, I wasn't actually gonna jump because the fence was too tall and it actually worked.
Drew
I wouldn't partake in a suicide like that that like, like would with somebody else.
Kai
But I finished that whole like dramatic moment of my life. And then I start walking towards where my car was parked and we see this guy stumbling in front of us, jingling his keys, like just pull up and skirt into a spot and like he's like all up and we're like, oh my God, this is like really sad. This guy's like blackout drunk. And then the person I was with was like, like, oh look, it's Kai. Hahaha. Cuz he always sees like a white guy with glasses. And I was like, that's Kai. And then I look a little closer and I see an NPR sweater and I'm like, oh my God, that like the dude's wearing the same sweater as Kai. This is weird. This is so weird.
Drew
So you witnessed Kai blackout drunk parking?
Kai
Yes, yes. He skirted into a red zone, was like literally stumbling all over the place. And we ran into him. He just walked right past us.
Drew
Us.
Kai
And then stumbled into another car, hit the ground. And me and my buddy were like, girl, what the is happening? Like Kai. And then we realized like, holy, this is actually Kai. And he just like was blackout drunk. Where are you going?
Drew
You got into someone else's house?
Kai
He wasn't even at his house. He was literally like three blocks away from his house.
Drew's Friend
Just an overpass. Parking.
Drew
Parking. He was just parking somewhere else.
Drew's Friend
Just chilling at the overpass that I always hang out it. And I don't want to talk about it because there's stuff smelled like I had to get something from my boy. I had to get something from my.
Kai
From your boy. You smelled like tequila and you were rolling around on the ground and like basically seizing.
Drew
Well, don't Priuses have like self driving now?
Kai
No, Priuses have. They have anti alcohol technology in the ac. It sucks it out.
Drew
Oh, so it sucks it out of you?
Kai
Sucks it out of you.
Drew
Oh, so that's how you were so good at driving when you were blackout.
Drew's Friend
Yes, of course.
Drew
Kai is one of the best drunk drivers I know.
Kai
He drives better when he drinks.
Drew's Friend
Yeah, like makes you more confident. No, guys, I wasn't actually drunk driving.
Drew
Wait, but did y' all actually see each other?
Kai
Yeah, you actually were parking. I was driving from your perspective and.
Drew's Friend
I saw like Drew's silhouette and I was like, I know what that silhouette is. He has very broad shoulders, very tiny waist, big bubble butt, Perfect print. So I pulled over.
Kai
I did. I did have a print that night.
Drew's Friend
Yeah. And it was. It was a random ass place in silver. It was like you're walking over the highway from.
Drew
It sounds like y' all were all maneuvering around the same gay bar, but I am following.
Kai
No, it actually was really close, but it was. We were nowhere near. I was at a gay guy's house.
Drew's Friend
Yeah. So I. I.
Drew
What?
Kai
Also, the guy's house I was at, his was Kai.
Drew's Friend
That is crazy.
Kai
Isn't that weird?
Drew's Friend
Yeah. I found that out later, but I pulled over.
Drew
Now we know two guys who. Gay guys named Kai who live in.
Drew's Friend
Yeah, sorry.
Drew
You could block that out. I just outed you.
Drew's Friend
I pulled over and I was like, how. How can I utilize this very rare situation?
Kai
It was so special.
Drew's Friend
I want to. I want to prank him and scare him. So one thing I was going to do was just, like, stand perfectly still in between the cars, and when you guys walk by, just be motionless and then run off when you guys notice me. But then I was like, what if I. I just pretended to be, like, super hammered and I stumbled in front of them and I was, like, so close. I really. What I wanted to happen was I stumbled by them and then just ran.
Kai
Off and never spoke about it.
Drew's Friend
Never spoke about it. Didn't even acknowledge it when I saw you next. But then I broke because I saw Drew's face and I folded.
Drew
Were you terrified? Did you actually think he was fucked up?
Drew's Friend
That had to have been scary at first.
Kai
I legitimately, like, you just do that bit all the time, so I, like, immediately assumed you were in that bit. It. But there was, like, a brief moment where I was like. I was like. So, like, one, I thought you were stalking me. I was like, did he just check my location and, like, pull up on me or some? Two, I was like, what the Are the chances of this? Like, Kai just watched me, like, think about killing myself. And then it was crazy.
Drew's Friend
You. You drove standing, looking at the road.
Kai
Yeah. And I was like, whoa, this is crazy. Like, Kai, like, kind of could have saved my life if I was really, like, like, going for it.
Drew
You don't think the person you were with would have saved you?
Drew's Friend
They would have pushed you.
Kai
They would have pushed you. They would have been.
Drew
You're lucky I wasn't there.
Drew's Friend
That's what you get for being surrounded by yes men.
Kai
And you need just no men.
Drew's Friend
No men.
Kai
No Mads.
Drew's Friend
You need a new man.
Kai
New man. Come on.
Drew's Friend
Come Save you.
Kai
Come on. Yeah, but yeah, that was really crazy. It was like 1am and then we ran into another person that we knew in the exact same spot. And we were like, girl, what the is happening? It was just like. Like the meetup of the Silver Lake Gays, I guess.
Drew's Friend
And me and Kai.
Kai
And me and Kai.
Drew
Wait, so what were you actually doing?
Kai
Me?
Drew
No, Kai, I was driving.
Kai
What were you doing? Kai? What were you up to? Why were you driving home at 1am?
Drew's Friend
I was driving home at 1am you got yogurt. I did get yogurt a lot.
Kai
And he got yogurt alone. And the craziest thing.
Drew
Oh wait, you actually weren't getting play or something. You were getting yogurt.
Kai
I was getting yogurt. And the craziest thing is he went went to Minchi's, which is a yogurt shop. There are none in la. And we looked at the map after. You were in the Valley?
Drew's Friend
Yeah, I went to the Valley for that.
Kai
Yeah. We were like. You drove all the way to the Valley for yogurt?
Drew's Friend
Yes.
Drew
Let me see what this is.
Drew's Friend
And it was really good.
Kai
Like Silver Lake to the Valley for yogurt is crazy.
Drew's Friend
I went. I got yogurt. I ate it alone. Everyone else there was like on dates. And then I went back for seconds and then the guy was like. Like I went back and I filled up the same cup. And he was like, you can't do that.
Drew
Okay, that's just not making sense because this yogurt shop closes at 10pm so.
Drew's Friend
There'S another one that closes at midnight.
Drew
It's just your alibi is like getting a bit funky, cuz there's another one.
Drew's Friend
That closes at midnight. It's in the Valley. Yes, I'm right.
Drew
11:00Pm But y' all weren't in the Valley.
Drew's Friend
No, I was driving home to my house.
Kai
It was 1am when he got back.
Drew
Wait, did you actually park that far from your crib?
Kai
No, no, no. He did it to do the. And then he drove.
Drew
I thought you were actually parking there. I was like, that's still sus. Y' all need to investigate Kai. Cuz why are being the. The stalker? You're being the like midnight stalker. That's what.
Drew's Friend
I don't really like you guys anymore.
Kai
I could smell the yogurt on his breath.
Drew
He's being the. What is it? Is it the Midnight creeper?
Kai
What flavor did you get? Oh, the Night Stalker?
Drew
Yeah, Kai's the night.
Drew's Friend
I got vanilla with peanuts and peanut Nutter Butters. And it was really good look. That's the type of thing that I like. And the guy gave me a free second cup because he saw that I.
Kai
Was alone and you're a little sad.
Drew's Friend
I actually felt good. It was a. It was very nice. It was a cathartic loneliness. And then I actually I. I saw Weapons alone yesterday.
Drew
Oh, was that good?
Drew's Friend
It was so good.
Kai
I want to see it so bad. I want to see it.
Drew
So Mason was trying to see it yesterday but I was like, I actually would rather die than I want to see on a Sunday.
Kai
I want to see Weapons really bad. I want to see Freakier Friday really bad. I want to see F1 and IMAX really bad. Like I need to do it.
Drew's Friend
Yeah.
Drew
I don't know if I can get behind Freaky or Friday also. Freaky Friday.
Kai
What happened to our and a half movies? Why is every movie two and a half hours long now? Like literally what is going on?
Drew
It's because they get more ad sense the longer the movie is.
Kai
Oh yeah.
Drew
They get to shove more ads in it. They get to put more ad placements in the movie that you don't pick up on.
Kai
No, but like, like a two hour movie is too much.
Drew
I know. Yeah.
Kai
It's like sitting.
Drew
Unless the story needs it most of the time. It's so ridiculous.
Kai
30 minutes suck every time.
Drew
Yeah. I haven't been to a movie that's that long in so long that I haven't gotten an hour 30 in and I'm like, surely this is the end.
Drew's Friend
I sure. Weapons was two and a half hours, I think. Don't quote me on that. Weapons. But it is the first movie I have seen in so long where I was like, like dreading it ending cuz it was so.
Kai
Was it. Was it actually scary it?
Drew's Friend
I wouldn't say it's scary.
Kai
Is it kind of like barbarian where it's. It's like weird middle ground.
Drew's Friend
There's like horror. Oh my God.
Drew
Is it from the same creators?
Kai
He was a comedy guy first and then just like I'm going to write a scary movie. And then he wrote Barbarians. Got that made for $4 million, then got made Weapons and it was like one of the greatest screenplays of all time. It was in a massive bidding war and Jordan Peele wanted it so bad. He was like he, he wanted it so bad and they're actually really close friends, the director, writer and Jordan Peele. And he didn't get the movie. So Jordan fired his entire team because he wanted to produce it. It and the guy actually went with Another production company because he got an extra million dollars in the deal. Yeah, but it's more. It's deeper than that. It's like Jordan Peele has, like, a first look situation with Universal.
Drew
And how do you know all of this? What's happening?
Kai
I actually don't know if I'm allowed to be saying any of this.
Drew
I was going to say that doesn't sound like stuff.
Drew's Friend
I'm sure it's.
Kai
But he has a first look deal with Universal and he. His team. Jordan Peele's team was tasked with. With convincing the higher ups at Universal to get this movie, but they needed. It was a $48 million movie, like, to pay the director and fund the movie. $40 million budget or whatever. And his team couldn't convince Universal to buy the movie. So he went. Yeah, with another place.
Drew's Friend
Yeah. My expectations were so high because of that. And, like, all of my friends were like, this is. This is incredible. And it was so good.
Kai
That was the single greatest piece of promotional material I've seen come out in the last. Like. Like that, like, Jordan Peele fired his team because he didn't get the movie because he wanted.
Drew's Friend
Like, I think they leaned into that.
Kai
Marketing because Jordan Peele's the only person making good horror movies right now, too. So if he saw it, he was, like, gagged by it. Like, yeah, I need to see that movie so bad.
Drew
I haven't been to the movie since January. The last thing I saw was Nosferatu.
Drew's Friend
What the hell?
Kai
Yeah, that is a terrible movie to end on.
Drew
Yeah, well, it pissed me off.
Kai
I mean, it's not a bad movie. It's not a bad movie.
Drew
But, yeah, I don't want to because I love the costuming, I love the directing. I think it's a gorgeous movie. But for me, I. It was just boring.
Kai
I wish I also.
Drew
Yeah, she was so good. But, like, the movie itself was good, but it just pissed me off because I. I wish I liked that style of movie more than I did because it reminds me of Lighthouse. Like, I really love Lighthouse, but to me, it wasn't the greatest movie ever because I was like, I can just. Like, with Nosferatu, I can recognize that this is an amazing movie. But I didn't walk around away being. Being, like, holy. Like, I would literally give away everything to, like, be a part of this world and, like, this universe.
Drew's Friend
That's how I felt with Janet Planet and Perfect Days. I was like, I love these movies. I probably won't recommend them to people unless, like, I really know that person. I know what they like, but Weapons, it was just so refreshing to see a movie that was, like, so fun and so, well, so well written.
Drew
I want to watch it. I did see something today that I was, like, on reels. One of the camera operators who's, like, a rollerblade operator in this, I think it was from Weapons because it has that one blonde girl. That one white girl.
Drew's Friend
Yeah, yeah.
Drew
And it was, like, him literally just, like, being DoP on rollerblades. And I was like, damn. That alone makes me want to watch a movie, because I'm like, holy. That kind of stuff is so impressive.
Kai
I think God's greatest gift to humanity is Rollerblades. No, other than Rollerblades, aids, and other than me being able to lay in bed on my iPhone as lesbians.
Drew's Friend
I agree. I agree. 100.
Kai
I literally love and.
Drew
Yeah.
Drew's Friend
Where are you going? We're not done. What did you say? Oh, literally. What did you say?
Kai
I just said I like lesbians.
Drew's Friend
The hell is she good? I. I just heard her crack a bottle of Grey Goose. Don't drink, Anya.
Kai
Sorry. We just. We just noticed that we didn't move the room mic, and it's in the box.
Drew
It's not even being used.
Kai
Yeah, it's not even being utilized, but I was saying that unironically, by the.
Drew
Way, like, lesbians are the best.
Kai
Yeah. I had, like, one of the greatest conversations I've ever had with a lesbian on Saturday night.
Drew
You might find that that happens when you speak to lesbians. It's literally, like, the least threatening place to be in the world.
Kai
Yeah.
Drew's Friend
So it's like, I want to shout out some lesbians. Do you know Izzy and Emma? Emma on Tick Tock.
Drew
Yeah. I love that.
Drew's Friend
The last two times I went to New York, we went to Cafe Mogador, and both dinners were, like, the highlights of those trips.
Kai
Wait, why don't lesbians get enough recognition? Because guys are.
Drew's Friend
I think 2026 is gonna be Lesbians.
Drew
The year of the lesbians.
Drew's Friend
Yeah. Yeah.
Kai
Yuck.
Drew
I'd love to see that.
Kai
I hate gay. Whoa. We know you'd love to see the. That.
Drew
A.
Kai
A. Who does it better?
Drew
Who does it better.
Kai
Okay. Also, one last thing I want to bring up is, can you stop naming your kids Drew?
Drew
You think you will like what I am?
Kai
So I literally have met more Drews in my life in the last month and a half, two months, than any other name. It's, like, literally at the top of the list, and it's starting to piss me off. I know. Drew's Not a special name, but. But like, chill the out.
Drew
I mean, just change your name. Yeah, you should just make that first step.
Kai
Should I make it to Bartholomew?
Drew
I would beat your ass.
Kai
Well, but. But going by Bart would be kind of cute.
Drew
You're not Bart.
Kai
I give Bart. I give Bart. No, not like Bart from the Simpsons. Actually, I can't even do that because Bart from the Simpsons is the Bart. What? What do I give?
Drew's Friend
I've actually had.
Kai
I feel like I give.
Drew's Friend
Cassie, I've had the conscious thought that you are so a Drew.
Drew
Yeah.
Drew's Friend
Before, like, I. I remember when I first met you, I was like, this person embodies the name Drew.
Drew
I don't think I knew a Drew before you.
Drew's Friend
I didn't know one either.
Drew
I didn't know a Drew before you, and I don't want to because you're my final boob. No one's gonna comment on the fact that I just said like that. Media of the week.
Kai
Wait, one last thing. The statue of David has heart shaped pupils.
Drew's Friend
Really?
Kai
Yes. It's a Mandela effect.
Drew's Friend
That's cool.
Kai
It's a man.
Drew
Somebody went there, went in there with a nail Dremel tool and made it hard shaped.
Kai
No, because it's kind of crazy because people were like, I got like a tattoo of the statue of David and never once did I discuss it with my. My tattoo artist that. Do you want the heart shaped pupils or not? It was just everybody. They always had Reg or he always had regular pupils, but now all of a sudden he has heart shaped pupils. Like what? The Mandela effect.
Drew's Friend
We need a woman Della effect.
Kai
Oh, yeah. Womandella.
Drew's Friend
Womandela.
Drew
No, there's no way that is a Mandela effect. Because what, like this was on Tumblr down?
Kai
No, I never would have been in all my textbooks.
Drew
To be fair, though, like, is, isn't it? Who's getting up in his face like you? Like, no one's really like, going, I'm.
Kai
Going get up in that free. If he speaks bad about a woman, I'm getting up in his face. Yep, I'll push that over, watch it crumble. Crumble into dust.
Drew
Yeah.
Kai
Don'T talk to me or my lesbians.
Drew
You. I think you know, like two.
Kai
You. Okay.
Drew
All right. Should we do media?
Kai
Oh, that was a good flick, that.
Drew
I hate that so much. Well, I got an ad this week for a luxury rehabilitation in Malibu.
Kai
Oh, I've been getting. Is it Passages? I want to go to passages so bad.
Drew
No, this one is Carrera treatment.
Kai
I want to. I want to go to Passages so.
Drew
So if you want to sponsor me since you think I have such a problem, fly me out. Oh, brand trips are going to be popping once they start doing rehab trips. Like if a brand was.
Kai
We're all about to have limes disease. Okay. My media is Love My Way by the Psychedelic Furs. And then I brought back Orinoko Flow the other day and did the bit and it's such a good song. And the bit is funny still.
Drew
I love any. Yeah.
Kai
And then. Oh, I watched Bama Rush.
Drew
What is that?
Kai
It's like about like the sorority girls, like, and how intense, like.
Drew
Oh, I think I started that.
Kai
I think you did. Because I had never seen it and that was like halfway watched on my HBO account.
Drew
And I was like, I started that. I started that after I finished the Dallas Cowboy show because I was like, college culture is just something. I'm so not sorry. Drew is so pretty.
Kai
Stop. Hey, here, I'll call you right back.
Drew
Are y okay? Love you.
Kai
Love you.
Drew
But I started cuz I'm like so removed from university culture that that was like blowing me away and I started that. I have to finish it. Was it good?
Kai
I. I loved like, like the cinematography of it. Like there was a part of me, like there is one thing about it that I am super annoyed by and it's just like the director kind of using this like really, really fascinating topic of like girls rushing for sororities as a vehicle to talk about her like alopecia, which like it did fit in some places and it made sense in a of lot, lot of places. But it was just like, why don't you make a separate documentary about that? Yeah, because, but the documentary as a whole, I liked it. People hated it. Like hated it. But there were like a few moments like, just like specifically with like the way the camera was held in these girls faces and like how like I. I think I really liked like the editing and like the like the cinematography maybe is like the word. But like she, she would like hold the camera in these girls faces while they were talking about something and you could just see these. These like micro expressions on these girls faces. Like where like the facade like was finally like cracking a little bit because they're all acting a little bit because they're on camera. And there was this one girl who I like wanted Kiki with in real life because I know she has some fucking stories. But yeah, I would give it like a 2.5 out of 10. Oh, out of five. Out of five.
Drew
Oh. I was like, that's like awful.
Kai
Yeah. I mean it has like a 1.3 on letterbox.
Drew
Really? Yeah.
Kai
Like the girls did not like it.
Drew
Gab I watched I love you Philip Morris and that was awesome. It was like I kind of didn't like the directing style of that movie, but the movie itself was like really funny and good and made me cry. And honestly, my only media of the week is Too High by Stevie Wonders. That's it.
Kai
What is Stevie wondering about? What's on his mind?
Drew
You Drew.
Kai
It's Drew. It's Drew.
Drew
It's all for Drew. Everything I drew, I drew it all the time.
Kai
Heaven is a place on earth with Drew. And Kya is so sexy and fine too. Inya gaves me boners every single day. Oh yes, it's true. And yeah, I'm loving you In Maladru In Maladru.
Ryan Seacrest
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Narrator
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Drew
Does Friendly have a taste?
Narrator
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Ryan Seacrest
This is what the market used to sound like.
Kai
Pretty compelling, complex. But today with iShares by BlackRock investing is easier with over 450 ETFs. IShares gives you easy access to countless market opportunities. IShares by BlackRock the market is yours. Visit www.ishares.com to the old perspectives, which includes investment objectives, risks, fees, expenses and other information you should read and consider carefully before investing.
Drew
Risk includes principal loss.
Kai
Prepared by BlackRock Investments, LLC. Member FINRA.
Drew
This is an iHeart podcast.
Podcast Title: Emergency Intercom
Host/Author: iHeartPodcasts
Episode: Enya Went to a Psychic
Release Date: August 13, 2025
In this episode of Emergency Intercom, hosts Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips delve into Enya's recent visit to a psychic. The conversation navigates through their personal experiences with psychic readings, skepticism, and the emotional aftermath of such encounters. The episode blends humor with genuine reflections, offering listeners an engaging exploration of the supernatural from a comedic perspective.
Introduction to the Psychic Visit ([04:44] - [05:03])
Setting Expectations and Booking the Appointment ([06:50] - [08:31])
Experiencing the Psychic Session ([22:30] - [40:46])
Psychic's Predictions and Emotional Impact ([36:40] - [42:34])
Reflection and Conclusions ([43:46] - [55:46])
Closing Thoughts ([55:46] - End)
Kai on Psychic Predictions:
"Every single detail she said to me came true. I left a non-believer a year and a half later. I believe, like, that was crazy." ([05:03])
Drew on Booking the Psychic:
"I was really scared when I first called her... all reviews were bad. So I called back immediately and hung up." ([13:05])
Drew on Sharing the Session Experience:
"She was like, oh, what do you want? Like whatever. We decide what we want. Me and Natalie, you're both gonna get like a combo thing of like a tarot card reading and a psychic reading." ([24:11])
Drew on Psychic's Impact:
"She was saying that like my love life is what's gonna give me trouble... And she was just talking about... I started crying immediately." ([38:23])
Drew on Friendship and Commitment:
"The things that woman said for you affected me, too. It's literally because we are partners in life." ([39:24])
Skepticism vs. Belief: The hosts oscillate between skepticism and belief in psychic abilities, providing a balanced perspective that resonates with listeners who may share similar doubts or convictions.
Emotional Vulnerability: Enya's experience with the psychic serves as a catalyst for discussing deeper emotional issues, such as personal fulfillment and relationship challenges.
Humor in Adversity: Despite the serious undertones, the hosts infuse humor into their narratives, making the content relatable and entertaining.
Impact of External Opinions: The episode highlights how external opinions (like those from a psychic) can influence one's self-perception and relationships.
Emergency Intercom masterfully blends comedy with heartfelt discussions, allowing listeners to engage with the hosts' experiences and reflections on psychic readings. Enya's visit to the psychic becomes a springboard for broader conversations about belief, emotional well-being, and the dynamics of close relationships. The episode underscores the importance of navigating personal challenges with both humor and introspection.
Note: Timestamps correspond to the provided transcript and are used to reference specific moments within the episode.