Enya’s secret project

Summary

Emergency Intercom – Episode: Enya’s Secret Project
Released on September 15, 2023
Host: iHeartPodcasts

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Overview

In the episode titled "Enya’s Secret Project," the comedy duo behind Emergency Intercom, Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips, delve into a series of outrageous and humorous topics. The episode is characterized by their signature banter, spontaneous humor, and candid discussions about personal experiences and societal observations. This detailed summary captures the essence of their conversations, highlighting key points, notable quotes, and the natural flow of their comedic interplay.

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1. The "Diarrhea Plane" Incident [01:00 – 04:19]

The episode kicks off with Drew Phillips recounting a bizarre and cringe-worthy incident he refers to as the "Diarrhea Plane." He describes a situation where multiple passengers on a flight experienced severe diarrhea, leading to a mess in the airplane's aisles.

Notable Quote:

• Drew Phillips [01:08]: "The aisles were covered in human. Like, it look, multiple people sprayed feces everywhere."

Kai expresses his reluctance to watch the video associated with the incident, emphasizing the gross-out factor but also showing curiosity:

• Kai [01:10]: "Wait, actually, do you have that video? Because I didn't watch it cuz I wanted to, like, react to it."

The hosts discuss the prevalence of such viral videos, noting how common it is to find security footage capturing people having accidents in public spaces.

Notable Quote:

• Drew Phillips [03:52]: "It's so funny. Yeah, just look up, like, security camera footage. Someone shitting inside my convenience stores."

---

2. Intrusive Thoughts and Personal Reflections [04:19 – 07:00]

The conversation shifts towards more personal topics, with Kai sharing a profound and unsettling experience he had while falling asleep. He describes a moment of intense self-awareness and existential contemplation that left him feeling overwhelmed.

Notable Quote:

• Kai [04:19]: "I was like, I sit here. Maybe my projections of you being schizophrenic and losing your mind in the future are just me, because that's where I'm headed."

Drew responds by discussing the concept of recognizing and confronting one's thoughts to unlock personal growth, albeit in his characteristic humorous manner.

Notable Quote:

• Drew Phillips [05:49]: "Once you start consciously thinking about why you picked up your phone... that's how you crack the code."

---

3. Phone Throttling and Technology Frustrations [07:00 – 08:00]

The hosts transition to discussing the frustration surrounding smartphone performance, specifically addressing the well-known issue of Apple throttling battery performance. Kai and Drew voice their exasperation with the sluggishness of their devices.

Notable Quote:

• Drew Phillips [08:42]: "They literally are, bro."

Kai adds to the frustration by highlighting the real-world implications of such technological decisions.

Notable Quote:

• Kai [08:23]: "That was a court case... it's a real thing."

---

4. Spy Critters and Fake Monkeys [08:00 – 14:00]

A significant portion of the episode is devoted to a bizarre topic introduced by Drew, who talks about "spy critters" — robotic animals equipped with cameras that are supposedly infiltrating animal societies. He shares a particularly touching yet absurd story about a fake monkey that was treated as a real creature and even given a funeral by other monkeys.

Notable Quote:

• Drew Phillips [12:24]: "It's like a Zazul. Look. They host a funeral. Like, this is gonna make me cry."

Kai is visibly moved by the tale but maintains a humorous perspective on the absurdity of the situation.

Notable Quote:

• Kai [12:51]: "Why is this made me cry?"

The discussion highlights the hosts' unique ability to blend humor with surprisingly emotional content, keeping the conversation engaging and multifaceted.

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5. Fashion and Makeover Jokes [14:00 – 18:00]

The conversation lightens as Kai and Drew engage in playful banter about personal appearances and potential makeovers. They joke about eyebrow laminating, lip blushing, and other cosmetic enhancements, showcasing their comedic timing and rapport.

Notable Quote:

• Kai [15:39]: "Extension, laminate your eyebrows, perm your lashes. We can perm your mustache to sit correctly."

Drew humorously resists the makeover suggestions, further adding to the playful dynamic between the hosts.

Notable Quote:

• Drew Phillips [16:01]: "Have you seen that? Seems like no one cares about it anymore."

---

6. Q&A Session [25:00 – 40:54]

The middle segment of the episode features a lively Q&A session where the hosts answer listener-submitted questions. This segment showcases their improvisational skills and deepens their connection with the audience.

a. Best Fortnite Season

Christian asks about the best Fortnite season, leading to a nostalgic discussion about the game's early days.

Notable Quote:

• Drew Phillips [25:55]: "Season one, baby."

Kai reminisces about the simplicity and fun of the game's initial seasons, contrasting it with the current, more competitive environment.

Notable Quote:

• Kai [26:01]: "That was the best. And I'm so upset because I wasn't that good at playing it yet."

b. Creative Fulfillment

The question about creative fulfillment allows Drew and Kai to explore their aspirations beyond the podcast. Drew expresses a desire to create engaging content like cartoons or brands that stand independently of their personal identities.

Notable Quote:

• Drew Phillips [30:44]: "Starting a brand outside that can live outside of myself and like be on the shelf at like Target or Walmart."

Kai discusses the challenges of feeling creatively fulfilled as a comedian, emphasizing the constant performance aspect of their lives.

Notable Quote:

• Kai [30:54]: "We are constantly performing through day to day life, so it's hard to feel creatively fulfilled through that."

c. Intrusive Thoughts

The hosts candidly share their most common intrusive thoughts, blending humor with raw honesty.

Notable Quote:

• Drew Phillips [34:27]: "I need to fudgeing kill this baby. I need to rip it limb for limb."

Kai shares a troubling yet humorous intrusive thought about car crashes and interpersonal actions.

Notable Quote:

• Kai [35:00]: "If I'm next to someone who I have any sort of love for, I want to, like, pinch them or, like, punch their arm."

d. Waking Up in Opposite Bodies

Responding to a hypothetical scenario, Drew and Kai imagine what they would do if they woke up in each other's bodies, leading to a mix of serious and comedic responses.

Notable Quote:

• Drew Phillips [37:24]: "I would shoot my arm up with heroin and take a video of me doing it and post it on my IG story."

Kai counters with a more responsible approach, highlighting their supportive friendship.

Notable Quote:

• Kai [38:00]: "I would make you healthy. So. Yeah, perfect."

---

7. Experience Filming with Brat TV [41:05 – 47:03]

In a more introspective segment, Kai and Drew discuss their experiences filming a mockumentary-style project with Brat TV. Kai shares emotional insights about falling in love with the crew and the impact the experience had on him during a tumultuous personal period.

Notable Quote:

• Kai [41:25]: "I just got so close to everyone on set, and it didn't help that I was going through, like, a breakup at the time."

Drew reflects on the time capsule-like footage they have of their early days together, noting the changes they've undergone over the years.

Notable Quote:

• Drew Phillips [46:00]: "We were watching clips from, like, when we all first started filming together. And it's just crazy, like, how much we've all changed."

The discussion underscores the depth of their friendship and the lasting memories they've created through their collaborative projects.

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8. Final Remarks and Light-Hearted Banter [47:03 – 55:09]

As the episode nears its end, the hosts engage in light-hearted banter, sharing humorous remarks about personal aesthetics, upcoming projects, and playful teasing.

Notable Quote:

• Drew Phillips [48:12]: "It might never see the light of day. Honestly, I don't think years are deserving for. It's definitely ahead of its time."

They wrap up the episode with more jokes and a brief discussion about their favorite songs, maintaining the comedic tone that characterizes the entire episode.

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Conclusion

"Enya’s Secret Project" is a testament to Emergency Intercom's ability to blend humor with sincere conversations. Through a mix of outrageous stories, personal reflections, and engaging Q&A sessions, Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips create an entertaining and relatable listening experience. Their dynamic interaction, punctuated by memorable quotes and genuine moments, offers both laughter and insight, making it a compelling episode for both regular listeners and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and safeway. Now through June 24th. Score hot summer savings and earn four times the points. Look for in store tags on items like General Mills cereal drumstick, frozen treats, outshine fruit bars, Oreo cookies, and Capri sun pouches. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event long savings. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in store or online for easy drive up and go pickup or delivery subject to availability restrictions apply. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details.

[Drew Phillips]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Kai]

Hey, guys. Welcome to Emergency Intercom, where we get crazy.

[Drew Phillips]

We do serious things on here, but we can also get serious.

[Kai]

We can also make love and meaning. Meaning of the sick and twisted world.

[Drew Phillips]

You. You saw the diarrhea plane?

[Kai]

The diarrhea.

[Drew Phillips]

Dude.

[Kai]

Wait, actually, do you have that video? Because I. I didn't watch it cuz I wanted to, like, react to it.

[Drew Phillips]

So there was this airplane that was flying across the sea. It got two hours into their trip. I think they were taking flight out of Atlanta.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

And two hours into their trip, someone was fighting demons, bro. Like, real demon. And when you see the video, you're gonna know what I was.

[Kai]

Wait, is it. There's a video?

[Drew Phillips]

Not. No, no, no. But like, it was like. It was two hours in the flight. This person, like, must have been like really down bad because, like their butthole, like, it looked like it was spraying. Like, it. The aisles were covered in human. Like, it look, multiple people sprayed feces everywhere. But it was so bad that like, it was like splattered all down the hallway and they were like running to the bathroom like, like spraying the girl who.

[Kai]

At the club.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Have I showed you that? Literally, dude, Kai, this is gonna make you disgusted.

[Drew Phillips]

Diarrhea plane.

[Kai]

I wanna get it back.

[Drew Phillips]

Diarrhea plane.

[Kai]

Damn. Wait, I'm low key serving Olivia Rodrigo right now.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay, here's the video. Wait.

[Kai]

Viewer discretion is advised.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, they covered. Oh, there it is. Look. It like goes all the way up the aisle. Do you see how far it goes up?

[Kai]

Has Sal Manila. Like, why are they like that?

[Drew Phillips]

I'm not putting it in the episode.

[Kai]

Like. Yeah, we can't show that. It's literally like turds. What's annoying is I really want. But we can't insert that. But I really want to insert what I have.

[Christian]

Oh, my God.

[Kai]

On my phone right now. Because it's the craziest thing.

[Christian]

I've never had to like that before.

[Drew Phillips]

That's what I'm saying. Like, literally what was going on. Like, why were they spraying? No, that's a vibe.

[Kai]

Like, that hurts you.

[Christian]

No way. That looks like peanut butter.

[Drew Phillips]

We can put that in the episode.

[Kai]

What's crazy is I literally was texting some friends before we went to a party, and one of my friends was like, dude, I have such bad diarrhea and I'm wearing a dress. Like, I'm gonna on the floor. And then I literally looked up girl on the floor in the club and I found this.

[Drew Phillips]

Dude, those videos of just like the most random people that like, look like they've done it for their entire life, where they just like, like shake a turd out of their pant leg and it just plops on the ground.

[Kai]

Wait a second, because. Is that like a common video?

[Drew Phillips]

Because I've never seen at least six videos just going around the Internet where someone will like, just like be standing up and drop a turd out of their pants and then just keep walking like nothing happened. And it's all like, recordings of like, security cameras where they're like, recording like, the turd falling out. And it's like. It's so funny. Yeah, just look up, like, security camera footage. Someone shitting inside my convenience stores.

[Kai]

That is so crazy because it just is such an animal instinct. Like, you just have to poop. You naturally have to do those kind of things. And also, I don't know why my brain is going here, but last night as I was falling asleep, I literally, I was like, I sit here. Maybe my projections of you being schizophrenic and losing your mind in the future are just me, because that's where I'm headed. I don't know how to describe this. I was not high. I was not drunk. I was dead sober falling asleep last night. And when closed my eyes, I literally, like, I had a moment where I like, felt my whole existence and I felt everything in my body. Like, I felt my whole body and like, like the weight of it and like everything moving through it. And then literally listen to this. And then it was like, you know those stupid ass cameras that award shows that like, swing around. Like, I. I like, envisioned myself because I like, my brain, like 3D scans projected.

[Drew Phillips]

You were omnipresent.

[Kai]

I, like, scans my whole body. And then like, it was just like, nothing. Like, I was just like in like, someone's like, Tumblr grid feed. Like, it was like so, like. Like, you know, like when everybody was obsessed with just like a white thing with like, black lines. Like, I was there. Like, it was literally like in A video game where you're. You walk too far outside of the world. So it's just like the 3D, like, rendering, like, it has to render out. That's what I felt like. And I. It freaked me out. I immediately opened my eyes, and then I just looked around. I was like, okay. And then I grabbed my iPhone and I drowned myself in.

[Drew Phillips]

That's like. That's the real problem is, like, once you realize, like, why you, like, okay. Like. Like when you start consciously thinking about why you picked up your phone or why you hit the puff bar or why you turned on the TV or why you open your laptop, like, whatever it is. Like, once you start, like, locking in and thinking about the thoughts you had before that, that's how you crack the code. Because, like, there's a reason want to dull your senses or, like, need that spike of dopamine, and it's because your brain is thinking some thought that you don't like that you're running from. And once you stop running from those thoughts, that's when you unlock, like, superpowers. And I'm never gonna stop running. That's why my screen time is 18 hours.

[Kai]

Superpowers. Like, I don't need that. That's the thing is, like, what. Like, what are you going to gain? What are you going to gain?

[Drew Phillips]

Literally. Okay, so you know, like, in ancient times, how they, like, demonized sex and made, like, sex, like, made everyone in the world still guilty about sex. Like, you can't have sex without, like, being, like, a little guilty about it. What if instead of sex, the Catholic church chose so everyone was just going around, like, holding. I don't. I never do that. I don't have sex before marriage. I don't before marriage.

[Kai]

I don't before marriage. Well, girls do that. Girls don't poop until they die. When they die, they drop a huge load.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah.

[Kai]

And that's why I seen it.

[Drew Phillips]

My grandma.

[Kai]

Look it up. Look it up, girls. Coffins are bigger.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah.

[Kai]

My grandma's coffin, their lower half becomes full of poop.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, it was crazy. My. My grandma's coffin was, like, full of turds. So weird.

[Kai]

Smelled so bad.

[Drew Phillips]

Every funeral woman, funeral smells really bad.

[Kai]

How many women's funerals have you been to?

[Drew Phillips]

Like 36. I go to the victims. I go to my victims funerals. You've seen the pictures and videos of me hanging out with Shawn Mendez going around.

[Kai]

There's no. You have never hung out with Shawn Mendes.

[Drew Phillips]

Correction. I did. Let me find the pic. It was before Beyonce, before toy, before rainbow Slurpee.

[Christian]

His clout chaser album.

[Kai]

I know.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, what was it before?

[Kai]

You looking at the Masonic imagery and Mr. Beast videos or.

[Christian]

Let me see, Let me see.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm gonna send it to you. I air dropped it. I'm gonna cancel that because it's taking you too long. Oh, my God. I'm actually gonna freak the.

[Kai]

Hey, you need a new phone because yours is moving so slow. Oh, my God. They unveiled the new iPhone today, so your phone is going slow. Guys, they're doing it again.

[Drew Phillips]

They literally are, bro.

[Kai]

They're throttling that. Y' all are speakers. It's that damn phone. Too much. So your battery is.

[Drew Phillips]

There was an actual court case. There was an actual court case where, like, they're awarding people money because it was proven that Apple throttles batteries. Like, it's a real thing.

[Kai]

That's okay. What's so bad about that?

[Drew Phillips]

Here it is. Me and Shane. Me and Sean.

[Kai]

You, me and Shane.

[Drew Phillips]

Fuck. There is a picture of me and Sean. It was. It's actually so funny, and I wish I find it. Dude. Dude, I literally. I cannot deal with my phone right now. This is, like, driving me insane. It was before. Was it after the look up Aaron?

[Kai]

Because it was in the air 1. Do you have your.

[Drew Phillips]

No, it wasn't in the air one. You already know, so it's not even funny to show you because I don't think.

[Kai]

I know.

[Drew Phillips]

Because I'm asking you flocked.

[Kai]

I'm asking you, like, what it is, and you're saying it's not what I think it is.

[Drew Phillips]

It is exactly what you think it is.

[Kai]

Oh, then this is awkward because I.

[Drew Phillips]

Here. I found it. Dude, I cannot.

[Kai]

I hate when you make that face, but y' all are hanging out in that. It kind of looks like a fan interaction.

[Drew Phillips]

I sent it to you.

[Kai]

You know what's crazy is that's the second time Drew Phillips and Shawn Mendes have been in an erewhon together. So something is happening.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. Yeah, that's the one. Flash that one when I showed in. Yeah. And then flash it when I showed you. But I think it should be coming in now. If you swipe over.

[Kai]

Coming in hot. Hey, hot off the presses is Drew Phillips being a creepo.

[Christian]

I'm not getting it.

[Kai]

You're going to jail.

[Christian]

They're throttling your phone. That's why.

[Drew Phillips]

This is too much. This is too much. I can't deal with this.

[Kai]

You have had that phone for 18 years.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, I know I'm getting the 15, but then I saw it, and I Was like, I think it was so depressed. I was like, this is like so mid. This is what I was waiting for.

[Kai]

Like, I'll let you buy this one off of me and I'll buy the other one.

[Drew Phillips]

Girl, no, you'll give that one.

[Kai]

You'll get this for a discounted price.

[Drew Phillips]

Can you stop filming me?

[Kai]

Oh, you thought I was filming you?

[Drew Phillips]

Nah.

[Kai]

Guys, buy my wildflower case. Do you know I have a case collaboration case came out.

[Drew Phillips]

Have you.

[Kai]

A year ago.

[Drew Phillips]

Have you seen that? Seems like no one cares about it anymore, though. Have you seen the spy animals that they've been dropping in, like, animal society? No, I'm being in animal society.

[Kai]

Like, what are you talking about?

[Drew Phillips]

Let me speak. Let me speak.

[Kai]

Society.

[Drew Phillips]

No, they have been making fake critters of like, monkeys, of turtles, of birds, of things. And these birds are like drones and they like, they drop them in these things and they lay eggs. And the eggs are cameras. And then they record how other animals react. And these monkeys, like, for sure, these monkeys take these spy monkeys in and they treat it as its own because they're like all this, like, hurt little monkey can't even do anything for itself and. And they'll fucking. One of them dropped it and it like, died. And they made it just go still and die. And they literally held like a funeral for this robot.

[Kai]

I need to see this.

[Drew Phillips]

And it was. Oh, now all of a sudden, now I'm not showing you.

[Kai]

Well, I need to see it because it sounds like you're fudgeing, making it up. Also, were they filming it and putting it on YouTube for profit? Because then we will really know the connection to monkeys and humans once monkeys start recording them. Giving food to people and money to people in Best Buy.

[Drew Phillips]

But disaster strikes. An injured baby is a cause for concern. Oh, you thought I was lying?

[Kai]

Yeah, look at his butt.

[Drew Phillips]

And this Langer seems to believe she's died. And then look, something extraordinary happened.

[Kai]

Look at them.

[Drew Phillips]

It's like a Zazul. Look. They host a funeral. Like, this is gonna make me cry.

[Kai]

Yeah. No, it's like actually making me tear.

[Drew Phillips]

Up as if it is a real baby.

[Kai]

No. Why is this made me cry?

[Drew Phillips]

This is deep, as it's so obviously fake. Stupid ass. Dumb ass critters.

[Kai]

Stupid ass monkey. Like, wow.

[Drew Phillips]

They react just as they do when their own babies die.

[Kai]

This has to be edited, like, to make it look like they're actually.

[Drew Phillips]

Look, they hug. They're so sad. A calm and contemplative mood descends on the colony.

[Kai]

He's looking up at God, there's a sense. Oh, my God. What if monkeys think there's a God?

[Drew Phillips]

We are their God.

[Kai]

Nah, we're the devil.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. Quite accidentally, our spy creature is at the center of something extra, but.

[Kai]

Yeah, that is. Wow, that actually made me tear up.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, well, there's even more spy critters. Like, it's really crazy.

[Kai]

Okay. Stupid ass monkeys, though, because that monkey.

[Drew Phillips]

Looks obviously fake and the spy bird is hilarious. It, like, literally made me scream. Oh, yeah, this is a spy grub, which is so od. Like, they made a grub worm with a spy camera and the birds eat it.

[Kai]

The birds eat it. They killed the bird.

[Drew Phillips]

And then. Oh, here's one they made a spy pile of.

[Kai]

This is just the Ace Ventura movie.

[Drew Phillips]

It then rolls. It, like, drops these cameras. And then that bird. Look at the bird. Did you see it? That's a spy bird.

[Kai]

Like, what is that? So they can, like, film. Film for film for her. Like Discovery Channel.

[Drew Phillips]

You thought I was filming you.

[Kai]

You thought I was filming for her.

[Drew Phillips]

But look, if you go through this subreddit, like, there are so many.

[Kai]

Look, the thing is, a lot of that footage kind of sucks.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. They don't even use that footage.

[Kai]

The footage they're getting from the sky. Spy cameras aren't even good.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, yeah. The. The baby.

[Kai]

The. Out of that baby.

[Drew Phillips]

And then it started in the baby. The whole herd left the baby elephant behind, and then was. The baby, like, got stuck on the land because it's not allowed to go into the water because the first part is super muddy. So it just got left behind. And then the mom, like, forgot about him and then sprinted back and was, like, beating the out of him with its trunk because it was like, don't ever leave my side again. And the mom, like, it was the learning lesson for both of them because it was like, I gotta look out for my baby. But elephants are like, that's smart.

[Kai]

When we walk into a store and there's rocks in there.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah.

[Kai]

You walk away from me to go.

[Drew Phillips]

Start hitting me with a belt.

[Kai]

But I do it sensually so I don't get in trouble. We get in trouble for fudgeing each other because I get to fuck with your sister. We should take you to get a makeover. Like, I'm thinking we get.

[Drew Phillips]

I don't need that because I'm already hot. Okay, here's a peak form.

[Kai]

Here's what I'm thinking for you. Extension, laminate your eyebrows, perm your lashes. We can perm your mustache to sit correctly. No, you. You're not getting any. We're not doing anything permanent. We can. Oh, we can get you lip blushing, though. We could get you lip blushing so your lips are permanently, like, overly pink.

[Drew Phillips]

I mean, Kybella, I think, in that. I need a facelift. I need.

[Kai]

Hey.

[Drew Phillips]

Eye cream.

[Kai]

Hey. You don't need anything.

[Drew Phillips]

Thank you.

[Kai]

What you need to do is love yourself. Oh. I mean, a lot of people need that, but I can't be of service to everybody. What do I look like, AAA or. Like.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm gonna start laughing like that? Wait, this is. This is my impression of Kai. Hey.

[Kai]

Wait a minute. I get no bitches.

[Christian]

What did you say?

[Kai]

Oh, I get no bitches. I thought you would understand because I just sounded like you.

[Drew Phillips]

My name is Kai.

[Christian]

That's not what I sound like.

[Kai]

My name is Kai. I get no bitches.

[Christian]

That's not what I sound like.

[Drew Phillips]

Dude, he's doing it.

[Kai]

You're actually, you're. You're better at sounding like you than you sound normally.

[Christian]

My name is Kai. I get no. That sounds like what you say.

[Drew Phillips]

My name is Kai. And I get no.

[Kai]

Yeah, that's how you sounded.

[Christian]

That's how you sound like Kermit the Frog.

[Kai]

I'm so sad. I need Jim Henson to come back to life so I can him. There's a lot of people I need to come back to life so I can them.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm gonna do a teleprompter test.

[Kai]

Oh, okay.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. So rumors on the street and I'm killing them now.

[Kai]

Do you want me to hold it.

[Drew Phillips]

For you that I can't read? And we're going to do the teleprompter test live and in 4K. What is the rainbow scope?

[Kai]

Oh, LGBT.

[Drew Phillips]

Yes.

[Kai]

Okay, let's tap in pride.

[Drew Phillips]

Four, three, two. Welcome to the Big Ant. National weather forecast. As we head into the middle of the week, we are seeing a storm system pushing west which is already bringing rain showers up in the Pacific Northwest and light hail and sleet in the Rockies. Moving across the eastern US the very cool areas are starting to retreat.

[Kai]

This is slow.

[Drew Phillips]

We have around 51 New York City and although there is still sunshine in Atlanta, it is cool 52, but it's getting warmer in the central part of the country. We are starving between staying between 50 and 60. Out west, we are seeing some rain, cooler temperatures. Seattle is hovering around 49 and no head to put or no need to put your suntan lotion on just yet. A little more weather down in Florida. Scattered storms out in Orlando and Miami to some storms and quite powerful later on in the evening. By Thursday, the storm system will increase the risky heavy rain and even large storms across the southern hemisphere of Texas and going into Louisiana, Baton Rouge.

[Kai]

Okay, I want to try. Well, now I like watched you read it, so I can feel like it's like. Yeah, do a different one. Oh, my God, that was so funny. Honestly, if you ever need your spirits lifted, just watch Drew Reed out loud. Okay. Oh, my God. So embarrassing. What if I it up?

[Drew Phillips]

Wait, that's the same one.

[Kai]

And don't it up. I'm so embarrassed that now I have a jewel in my hand because I used to be the person who made fun of people so bad for it. But honestly, I've never had advice in my life and I need something. What do you want me to do? Heroin. Let's use this practice session to report on the life and passing of Queen Elizabeth II of England. Her Majesty ascended to the you foot.

[Drew Phillips]

In Devil's Feed and put it into 10 speed.

[Kai]

But I was kind of eating though.

[Drew Phillips]

You kind of ate. This has got to be too slow.

[Kai]

Yeah. Let's use this practice session to report on the life and passing of Queen Elizabeth the second of England. Her Majesty acceded or. Yeah. To the throne at the young age of 25. Though young and inexperienced in the role, through hard work and determination, she managed to visit every realm, some many times over. Every realm? What the fuck is she talking about? Like, she would meet with the prime ministers of her time regularly. This must have been a curious situation, being privy to sensitive information while ensuring a neutral position. She continued in the fashion through a total of 15 prime ministers. The Queen's role as head of state saw her acting as diplomat and Hostess to over 110 presidents. This. What the are they talking about? Queen Elizabeth. She can stay dead because I don't want to have sex.

[Drew Phillips]

I want to her.

[Kai]

What if you could bring someone to life, but only through the power of sex, girl.

[Drew Phillips]

No, I mean, I. Yeah, it's just.

[Kai]

Not funny because I mean.

[Drew Phillips]

Wait, wait, wait. Listen to this. You literally can. By making babies, you bring someone to life. Planting your seed inside of a woman.

[Kai]

Wow.

[Drew Phillips]

They made babies in a test tube without sperm and I think without egg or a woman egg even. And they made it. And it was secreting chemicals that made a test president. Oh, my fucking God. That made a pregnancy test positive, like, go off positive. And it was. There was no literally, they like, made the DNA and shit on its own.

[Kai]

Wait, but is it growing a baby or isn't that illegal? Like, why are bitches just Growing babies in potions.

[Drew Phillips]

Also randomly, in a fucking. Just randomly one day. We launched a nuclear warhead into the Pacific Ocean, like, a couple of weeks ago, maybe this week, maybe last week.

[Kai]

Where did you see all of this? Because, like, like, I just don't. Like, like, where. Like, when I think of you on your phone, I'm like, there's no way you go this. Like, how do you use it? Like, I just don't understand my superpower.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm not even playing when I say that.

[Christian]

It's fake news.

[Drew Phillips]

It's my super. No, that's not big news. That's real. We launched a nuclear warhead, and it was a show of power because we're like, look, we got nuclear warheads that can reach all the way to Russia, wherever we need to launch these. So don't play. And it made me patriotic for half a moment. I was like, don't send nukes at me because we will blow you up.

[Kai]

I think Mr. Beast is becoming war propaganda. He's becoming pro war propaganda. This started as a corner with two freaks who liked Mr. Beast. Nowadays, I'm starting to question where he stands.

[Drew Phillips]

And Mr. Beast, if you want to come on to the podcast and clear your name, your name, we're always here for you.

[Kai]

But for now, you were being punished because actually. Okay, also, if you want to fly me out to North Carolina, first class only, don't play with me.

[Drew Phillips]

I'll have sex with Mr. Beast.

[Kai]

I would him. Yeah, I'd him.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Yeah. If I had to. Yeah, if actually, I'm not kidding. If I had to him to see one of those explosions. 100. I do need to see one of those explosions. I'll. Anyone in the crew except Nolan.

[Drew Phillips]

Wait, which.

[Kai]

Or Carl.

[Drew Phillips]

The Carl.

[Kai]

I'm like, except Nolan, except Carl. Wait, what's the one who we all think is like, kind of fine?

[Drew Phillips]

Chandler.

[Kai]

Chandler. So I'll anyone in the Mr. Beast crew except everyone except Chandler.

[Drew Phillips]

And then there's Carl. Kind of freaks me the out. Like, got some weird asses.

[Kai]

Also, like, I don't know why I think it's okay to talk about living people our age and be like, so if I had to. One of them.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, because if someone did that. No, actually, if someone was doing that about me, I'd be like, I know.

[Kai]

I miss when people, like, openly said they wanted to me. No one wants to me anymore.

[Drew Phillips]

Still no come tributes on the Reddit. Like, where's the come tributes? Like, for me, the thing is, I.

[Kai]

Think if that actually happened, people would be Pissed.

[Drew Phillips]

So I'm giving people permission to literally come on a face of my picture.

[Kai]

I need a snail trail across one of my picks, personally. Like, I need, like, someone to move it, like a holographic car.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, burger. Do silly Burger.

[Kai]

Ice cream for our first meal. Like, I'm not even kidding. Why is this.

[Drew Phillips]

We have. I wanted ice cream, like, three nights ago.

[Kai]

I want that.

[Drew Phillips]

I want a sweet treat. I want the one on the Italian spot.

[Kai]

Yeah, you want to come get ice cream after this?

[Drew Phillips]

Yes, we know you do.

[Kai]

You just have to eat across the street. You just have to eat across the street from us.

[Drew Phillips]

No, we found a good ass.

[Christian]

Can I eat with you guys this time?

[Kai]

No.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay, we are gonna eat at Sweet Finn, and we're gonna eat at the ice cream spot.

[Christian]

Okay.

[Drew Phillips]

No, but we found this really good spot that is, like, a major key alert, and they make the best Italian ice cream ever.

[Kai]

Yeah, it's, like, Italian, like, whatever the. They be calling it. Gelato.

[Christian]

Oh, gelato.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

Smoking on gelato.

[Kai]

The next episode, I'm gonna roll the fattest blunt you've ever seen and smoke the whole thing and then, like, pass out on screen just to, like, traumatize a few people.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay, you're literally not gonna do blur that. You're literally not.

[Kai]

I'm gonna though.

[Drew Phillips]

All right, wait, why am I gonna do a couple questions?

[Kai]

Okay, we're gonna answer some questions because we've never done that for our main episode, and we thought it'd be fun. Like, just. What you guys thinking?

[Drew Phillips]

It's a vibe. It's a vibe.

[Kai]

If the question don't provoke a funny answer, I'm gonna wish death upon whoever asked the question.

[Drew Phillips]

It's a vibe.

[Christian]

What's the best Fortnite season?

[Drew Phillips]

Season one, baby.

[Kai]

The best season was with the. The theater, the outdoor theater when we all started first playing together, when you would land at the top, like, that was the best. That was like, Fortnite. You had the automatic assault rifle with, like, the scope on it. Like, it literally was the best. And I'm so upset because I wasn't that good at playing it yet. And I wish I could play that now, because I would be killing it. Y' all want y' all up attack too much now.

[Drew Phillips]

Y' all weren't with Fortnite in the real good season. I mean, Kai might have, but just.

[Kai]

Be like, I was there.

[Drew Phillips]

I played the first season.

[Christian]

I was there first.

[Drew Phillips]

The real season. Like, December 31st. No, no, no, wait. Let's actually find it, because I have my very first Win on camera. Oh, my gosh. What do we got to do?

[Kai]

The last one standing. Oh, my God. He did it.

[Drew Phillips]

He did it, he did it. He did it. That was peak Fortnite. Like, getting home from school and going upstairs into your bedroom or going to your bedroom and isolating for three hours and playing with your friends and sucking. Dude, everyone was so bad at Fortnite back then. Like, no one was good. And it was like, that was. Was. That was what made it fun. It wasn't like. Like, competing. Like, you were just trying to stay alive, and you weren't trying to kill as many people as possible. You were literally just like. That was a vibe. Like, just trying to stay alive and hiding in bushes until the final kill and trying to, like, trying your hardest to get a kill because movement wasn't a thing yet.

[Kai]

I didn't play when I was in high school because I was too busy getting home from school and then, like, banging your mama, which, honestly, now that I look back at it, is probably not good.

[Drew Phillips]

Actually, for me, it was after playing Fortnite, I was squirt making your mama squirt juice.

[Kai]

You were squirting.

[Drew Phillips]

You're making your mama squirt shoes.

[Kai]

Did we create the. No, we didn't. There's no way. Someone the other day said, Cream Team or Squirt Squad in front of me, and in my head, I was like, that's my saying. And I was like, we didn't make that up. Squirt Squad.

[Christian]

Did you guys make.

[Kai]

I think we might have made.

[Drew Phillips]

I think I made that up in, like, one of the first episodes, like, Cream Team or Square Squad. But I don't know. Maybe I'm not.

[Kai]

Maybe we did it. But, yeah, someone said it the other day, and I was like, do you listen to the podcast? Like, why are you saying that to me?

[Drew Phillips]

Are you creamed?

[Christian]

I've only seen that in the comments of the podcast and stuff.

[Kai]

Yeah, we. I mean, this. This podcast, Low Key gives Squirt Squad. Like, I don't think it serves Cream Team. We serve Square Squad. Like, I'm trying to think of what podcast would be like, Cream Team, Theo Vaughn's podcast. No, that's Squirt Squad. Yeah, that's Square Squad Team is like.

[Drew Phillips]

A doctor making a podcast.

[Kai]

Yeah, like, boring.

[Drew Phillips]

Boring. I love you and I listen to you, but boring murder podcasts are killers. That's quarters.

[Kai]

No, that's Cream Team.

[Drew Phillips]

They're squirting all over the place.

[Kai]

No, they're, like, creaming, and it's like, guys, settle this debate, it like dries up, like, weird. Like their murder podcasts are cream team.

[Drew Phillips]

I feel like it's a squirt because it's like high energy and like.

[Kai]

No, a squirt is like ludicrous. Like, oh my God, I can't believe you just squirted. So like a Theo Von or like a Us or like a Trixie and Katia. Like those. Or like that's all squirting but like cream is more like. Like, oh, like it's on my jeans.

[Drew Phillips]

I don't know. I feel like it's a squirt. You feel like it's a cream. We can move on.

[Kai]

Yeah, we can agree to disagree.

[Drew Phillips]

Next question.

[Christian]

Do you guys feel creatively fulfilled? What does that look like for you guys.

[Drew Phillips]

Right now? Creatively fulfilled? Nor. There was like a moment where with the podcast, it was like all the creative I needed, but like everything I'm growing and changing and it's just not like what I want it to be currently. But I'm hoping in the next few months the podcast becomes creatively fulfilling. Yeah, change is coming and I hope it does become creatively fulfilling. However, podcast aside, for me, I think like creating a show of some sort or like creating a cartoon, like with original characters and all that is a vibe. Or just like starting a brand that like, like not clothing, because I suck at making clothing, but like starting a brand outside that can live outside of myself and like be on the shelf at like Target or Walmart and like, for people to buy it and not know it's attached to me would be very creative.

[Kai]

Yeah, I was gonna say, I think it's like, it's hard when your creative fulfillment has so much to do with your own person. Like being a comedian and feeling creatively fulfilled. It's kind of difficult because this sounds.

[Drew Phillips]

Girls aren't. Girls can't be comedians.

[Kai]

I was speaking for you.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay.

[Kai]

Because like, men can't like articulate their thoughts properly. So I was just really looking at you and trying to read.

[Drew Phillips]

And girls have vaginas, so they can't.

[Kai]

Yeah, cuz, like, what, am I going to tell the joke out of my lips? Like, come on. But it's like hard as a comedian to feel creatively fulfilled, especially when it's not something I think we like, turn on and off. I feel like we're constantly performing through day to day life, so it's hard to feel creatively fulfilled through that in terms of just communicating or like doing the podcast because the podcast is so conversationalist. I do feel fulfilled by it when I walk away and I'm like, that was a really funny episode. I, like, literally get a high off of it. But sometimes it's hard to just always make a funny episode. But we are hopefully headed towards excited change, which don't complain when you see change, because I'm gonna slap you in the head.

[Drew Phillips]

Big things coming.

[Kai]

But, yeah, like, I. I think it's just important to find other creative paths to feel fulfilled. Recently, I've been, like, really into taking, like, photos, and that's been, like, really fulfilling. Like, I pulled out an old camera. I want to get back to, like, taking photos. And, like, I went somewhere the other day and, like, drew and, like, read. Like, it's important to just, like, expand.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. And I think, like, another thing. I mean, this might be just, like, our experience, but, like, I know when I'm, like, creating things and then I post it online, it immediately becomes just, like, so unexciting for me because, like, it becomes, like, a job. It becomes, like, a part of my job. Like, so, like, if I, like, yeah, I know. Draw something, I don't know it.

[Kai]

Yeah. I don't share my drawings anymore because it literally takes away the magic, but it just start. Makes it feel like, oh, okay, what is this work? Like, why am I adding this to, like, the person and business that is me online? It's nice to just have those things and reserve them for myself and then every now and then, post it so all my mutuals and friends could be like, oh, my God, did you draw that? And I'm like, yeah, I bet you didn't know I was sexy, funny, can draw, can suck dick like a beast.

[Drew Phillips]

Suck a dent out of a car door.

[Kai]

Babe, I need to stop. Like, I. I make way too many sex jokes. I'm just, like, literally more open about their sex next life. Oh, like, I'm just here for the girls.

[Drew Phillips]

No.

[Kai]

Next question.

[Christian]

Can you tell us your most? Oh, my God. I just realized whenever we've done a Q A, I've listened to it back, and I start every question with, and then I want to blow my brains out. And I just realized I was doing how.

[Drew Phillips]

You're beautiful.

[Kai]

That's okay. I say, like, everybody look good today, though.

[Drew Phillips]

Actually, yes. I'm not even joking.

[Christian]

I feel like you're lying because I saw my reflection on the way out, and I was like.

[Drew Phillips]

I literally saw him and I was like, what is different? And I was like, oh, he's got a little stubble. Like, he looks nice guy looks.

[Kai]

Have you ever thought about growing In a mustache.

[Drew Phillips]

When I met him, he had a mustache.

[Christian]

I had one.

[Kai]

Does yours grow pretty thick or is it like a thinner mustache?

[Christian]

I, I, it's like, in between. I feel like it's neither thin or very thick.

[Drew Phillips]

Grow it out for us.

[Kai]

Yeah. I'm trying to, like, imagine you with a mustache right now.

[Drew Phillips]

Do it and then post it online and watch the girls go crazy.

[Christian]

Okay. Can you, can you tell us your most common intrusive thought?

[Drew Phillips]

Kill myself. Kill myself?

[Christian]

Yeah. Or common.

[Kai]

Oh, oh, yeah. It's death.

[Drew Phillips]

No, like, like, I need to watch a plane crash right now.

[Kai]

Like, I need terror, terror, terror, terror, terror, nightmare, nightmare, nightmare, nightmare. But you know what I think it is? I've said this before, but I think it was growing up so, so depressed and, like, still having, like, it's. That's such a depressing answer.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. Mine is also, like, if I'm holding a baby to, like, push it soft spot. Like, I'm like, I need to fudgeing kill this baby. I need to rip it limb for limb.

[Kai]

I guess my most intrusive thought is crashes car. If I'm next to someone who I have any sort of love for, I want to, like, pinch them or, like, punch their arm.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. And you've been, like, attempting to poke my butthole recently, but, like, out of love. And like, it hasn't quite got there yet. But, like, the day it happens will be, like, very magical for both of us.

[Kai]

I feel when we're both, I. It's such a bad habit. Like, if I'm close to someone, this.

[Drew Phillips]

It only happens on the stairs.

[Kai]

This sounds so bad. Like, me saying this, but, like, our friend group is like, very, like this. Like, I don't know. It sounds so bad, but I love, like, going to touch someone's, like, butt.

[Drew Phillips]

Cheeks or like, I mean, I literally just will walk by and grab your ass. It's like, funny. But if someone else did it to me, I'd be like, literally, what are.

[Kai]

You are attacking me? But it's just like, it's so funny. I think it ties back into us thinking, like, sexual stuff is really funny. But, like, I love pinching, like, my friend's asses. And that's my intrusive thought. Like, if somebody's ass is in my face, I'm like, I need to poke their butt.

[Drew Phillips]

Right? I was going to say, like, one of my intrusive thoughts. This isn't me joking. Is like, when I'm like, talking to you. Like, every time I'm talking to you, I, like, want to Grab your boobs and, like, be like, hong Kong. Like, I want to honk your boobs. Like, so I know.

[Kai]

And he'll, like, reach out to do. I'm like, hello. Like, what are you doing?

[Drew Phillips]

I literally just want to go, come on.

[Kai]

See, we talk like this and then we're like, why do people think we. Why do people think we actually have sex and stuff and whatnot?

[Drew Phillips]

All right, next question. Tits are ass. I'm more of an ass man myself. But, like, boobs and bon bons can, like, do it for me.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

You could get down with some bon bons or Bronson. Why?

[Kai]

Why pick between those two?

[Drew Phillips]

Which one? Bon bons or Bronson for me.

[Kai]

Yeah, Bronson, probably.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, I'd say bonbon.

[Kai]

I don't know that I care about bon bons. Like, because I have boobs. So I'm like, why? Why do you need tits, too?

[Drew Phillips]

If I woke up in a woman's body.

[Kai]

You would want G size tits.

[Drew Phillips]

I don't even know what the sizing scale is.

[Kai]

G is humongous. A, B, C. Like double D, triple D, E, F, G. Where the destroyers.

[Christian]

There's actually a question that says if you guys woke up in your opposite bodies, what's the first thing that you would do?

[Kai]

Go outside.

[Drew Phillips]

I would touch grass. I would. I would record myself.

[Kai]

Give his body a new experience and go the outside. Shock his system, drink some water. I would fully just shock his system. Wake up, have a green juice, drink water.

[Drew Phillips]

I would shoot my arm up with heroin and take a video of me doing it and post it on my IG story and say, like, this is the new me.

[Kai]

But make it really block my parents from saying it.

[Drew Phillips]

Everyone see it. Yeah. I'd ruin your life.

[Kai]

I mean, actually, I could spin that for me. I could make that really good for me.

[Drew Phillips]

No, like, you would be addicted and it wouldn't be fun.

[Kai]

No. But then I could spin it for me and, like, be like, guys, I really need help, and then start to go fund me, but then use the money to buy.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. So I guess people do good things for each other. I would shoot you up with heroin and you'd make me touch grass.

[Kai]

Yeah. And I would, like, make you healthy. So. Yeah, perfect.

[Drew Phillips]

And if I woke up.

[Kai]

Combination.

[Drew Phillips]

Combination. If I woke up in Kai's body, I would look in the mirror and say, I love you.

[Christian]

Oh, thank you.

[Drew Phillips]

Because I feel like you need to love yourself a little bit more.

[Kai]

Yeah. If I woke up in your body, I would get rid of all the mirrors in my home because they cover my iPhone with.

[Drew Phillips]

Wait, this is such a shitty. Because they broke. Because you looked at them.

[Kai]

Oh, wow. Next question.

[Christian]

What do you imagine you would be doing if your paths had never crossed and you never met each other?

[Drew Phillips]

I would legitimately be, like, addicted to drugs in a crazy way. Like, and that's not even a joke. Like, I was going down such a dark path and I'm will probably never be ready to talk about it.

[Kai]

Do you think I had anything to do with your trajectory on that, though?

[Drew Phillips]

No, but if we just, like, didn't have aspirations to move in, if we didn't even know each other, like, I would probably not be doing the Internet and doing heavy drugs all the time.

[Kai]

I think I would probably still be here. Just, like, maybe not as happy because I don't think, like, if I didn't meet you, like, because I met Christian, than you, then everybody. But, like, meeting you at that first show is kind of what roped me in, because when I went there, I felt so awkward and didn't speak to anybody. So if I didn't meet you, I probably wouldn't have done that.

[Drew Phillips]

It was literally love at first sight.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, not even, like, like, not even joking.

[Kai]

It wasn't like, we immediately clicked so.

[Drew Phillips]

Well, Soulmates.

[Kai]

Except I thought I was gonna, like, marry you. Like, not actually.

[Drew Phillips]

I mean, I have that effect on people, bro. Like, oh, my God.

[Kai]

You taking that straight to your head.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, I wanna.

[Kai]

There is not a single person who I'm friends with who, at one point I wasn't like, oh, my God.

[Drew Phillips]

But for me, for you, with me, it was, like, deeper, though.

[Kai]

Yeah. I think I would still be in la, but. And I honestly, like, it sounds annoying to say, but I probably still be here with a podcast. But, like, I. I would probably be.

[Drew Phillips]

Doing it alone with Emma Chamberlain.

[Kai]

With Ember. Ember Chamberlain.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah.

[Kai]

But, yeah, I'd probably just be like, dolo, doing the same thing and just, like, wanting to kill myself.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah.

[Kai]

So my life wouldn't change.

[Drew Phillips]

You know, I have this really, really unethical documentary that, like, if I created, I wouldn't be able to tie my name to. And I'm not going to give you the rundown because you will think I'm a monster, but it kind of ties into, like, I would probably be documenting my life as a drug addict. Lowkey, which is a vibe. And someone should do.

[Kai]

Oh, my God.

[Christian]

All right, that got pretty, pretty dark there at the end. Anya, what was the experience like filming with Brat tv?

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, I'll take this.

[Kai]

Okay. I Don't think I've ever talked about this. Have I talked about this, Drew?

[Christian]

I don't think so.

[Kai]

So cuz you were recording a documentary. Yeah. So if you don't know, that's like, not even a joke. Like, the reason I did that Brat series isn't because I was aspiring to be a actress with Brat tv. Although I would like to pursue acting maybe when I'm like 42, because I do love being on camera, but right now it makes me want to kill myself. You made me want to kill myself, basically. I had always made fun of Brat tv. I thought it was like really funny, like, low quality production. I. Me and Josh, I got the offer to do it and then I like pulled Josh aside. I'm like. I was like, dude, it'd be so funny to film behind the scenes and make like a mockumentary of like, just like every famous person has. Like, oh, is this thing like. Like, whoa. Like the camera always starts here and they're like, what's your name? Like, what are you doing? Like, what's the journey you're about to go on? And that was kind of like, I wanted to make a mockumentary style thing about like a young influencer who was really convinced that they were about to win an Emmy off this really shitty show. And Josh came with me every day to sit. Like I said, I. I said I would do it if they let me bring Jo. Told them I was going to be vlogging for my YouTube channel. They said yes because they were like, okay, yeah, you're going to promote the show. And Josh came with me to set like almost every other day. And we would just like film bits. Like the first day I was there, my car got towed and like, we did like a whole funny bit over it of like, me being like, just delusional, taking like an uber black to the towing place. Just whatever. Like. Like that, like Young Blood was in the show. And we got a really funny clip of me going up to him and like, my like, character thought it was Lil Xan. And I kept calling him Lil Xan. And I was like, little Xan is here. Like, holy. Like, whatever. And it was just like me being delusional. Like in the kissing scene, we have like shots of me, like doing the kiss and then pushing the guy off of me.

[Drew Phillips]

Another guy.

[Kai]

It was for work. Don't be like that.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh my God.

[Kai]

It was for work. Don't be like that. This happens every time.

[Drew Phillips]

Dealer with the new one.

[Kai]

I didn't say where I kissed him. So it doesn't count.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay, well, it's coming back, and now I'm leaving again.

[Kai]

Drew gets really jealous. Oh, but, yeah, like, me, like, running. Yeah, I'm yours now. That's all that matters. It doesn't matter how many people I and screwed and, like, made squirt. I saw you're shaking.

[Drew Phillips]

I saw this really delusional tik tok. Actually, no, keep going, because that will lose us.

[Kai]

Yeah, I. There was, like, a clip of, like, after I, like, I kissed him for the scene. Like, me pushing him off and, like, running to the bathroom and, like, throwing up and being like, dude, he's so disgusting. Like, he's not even. Like, he's not. He doesn't even have an IMBD yet. I can't believe I just kissed that. Like, whatever. Just stupid like that. But what happened is, while I was filming, because I'm such an empath, I literally fell in love with, like, the production team there. Like, I just was meeting all these people, and, like, it really had me thinking about. It actually was such a good experience for me because I'm so easily like, oh, you're corny. You're cringy, whatever. But meeting all those people, I'm like, all these people have aspirations to make something, like, quote unquote, better, and this is kind of their, like, jumping platform or. Some of them just genuinely enjoy making, like, content like this. That is for, like, younger audiences, and they, like, enjoy being a part of the team, and they love their job. And I just got so close to everyone on set, and it didn't help that I was going through, like, a breakup at the time. So I was, like, really emotionally charged. And all these people kind of knew about it because I was just, like, in such a hard, like, in the. It was, like, such a tumultuous time, actually, when I think about it. But I literally loved the whole crew. I just, like, fell in love with everybody on the set and, oh, my God, you're such a jealous bastard. It was four years ago. Like, get over it. But, yeah, and then I just never used any of the documentation that we got. We never cut it into anything. We never did anything with it, really Watched the footage. Yeah, we never looked at the footage.

[Drew Phillips]

I wonder if Josh still has it.

[Kai]

I think so. Josh, do you still have. Is he here? I think he left me talking to the bathroom. The empty bathroom. I think he still has it. Josh is really good with saving, like, everything he does.

[Drew Phillips]

He has, like. Like, actually the last, like, six years of us documented, like, in a Very heavy way. And we were watching clips from, like, when we all first started filming together. And it's just crazy, like, how much we've all changed. Like, you and Josh haven't really changed much. Like, visually, like, appearance wise. But, like, me and Christian, like, look, like, crazy. Like, I was still in my, like, twink arc. I'm not a twink. Someone say you're still. No, I'm not a twink.

[Kai]

Oh, my God.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm like an otter.

[Kai]

Yeah, that's what I was gonna say. Oh, you're cute. You're a cute man.

[Drew Phillips]

Thank you.

[Kai]

But, yeah, we never did anything with it. And I just, like, let it rock. And I was like, I'm not gonna, like, make fun of this thing that also I committed so much time to. And then that had me thinking too. I'm like, it's like as I grow older, I'm like, I can make fun of something as much as I want, but if I find enjoyment of it, then I am just being prideful and judgmental for no reason. And it's okay to be a part of things that I don't worship as top tier art.

[Drew Phillips]

And.

[Kai]

Yeah, that's my overly long answer. It was really fun actually being with Denzel too. Like, me and Denzel became like, yeah, good friends via that. Okay. Oh, my God. Hey, other man. No, Denzel doesn't like, like, like girls, like.

[Christian]

Oh, he's coming back.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay.

[Kai]

I don't think like, you do.

[Drew Phillips]

Next question, next question.

[Kai]

Okay, next and last question.

[Christian]

Okay, I'm trying to find another one.

[Kai]

Find a juicy one. Kai, it's all up to you. If you don't find a good one, you're gonna destroy the vibe.

[Drew Phillips]

Kai. If your middle name was Bella, it would be Kai Bella.

[Christian]

Oh, yeah, that's good. Okay, I'm, I, I'm really struggling to find one. A lot of these say do it far. A lot of them say Cream team or squirt squad.

[Kai]

You guys are crazy. But that's.

[Drew Phillips]

Why do a lot of them say Kai is beautiful? Because they're telling the truth.

[Kai]

I would question that too. So if I was asked the question, I would be like, is Kai beautiful? And the answer would probably be like, no. Beautiful is the wrong word.

[Christian]

Yeah, when I look in the mirror, it's more like they break.

[Kai]

Jarring. Jarring.

[Drew Phillips]

No, no, no, no.

[Kai]

Kai knows he's attractive. You have to know you're an attractive man.

[Christian]

I genuinely do not think that, Like, I really am. I'm being. I'm not just being humble when I say this, It's. I think it's a meme that people are like, you know what I mean?

[Kai]

Like, no. People find you attractive because you're an attractive person.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, you're hot.

[Kai]

Like, yeah, you're an attractive man. I'm not friends with ugly people.

[Drew Phillips]

So, hello, you're right there.

[Kai]

But I guess you're an employee.

[Christian]

So me just, like, frantically trying to find a question to change the subject.

[Drew Phillips]

You're right there. So you are friends with ugly people.

[Kai]

I'm friends with the monster that's on my bed.

[Christian]

Drew, when album drop. When's the album dropping?

[Drew Phillips]

So I've been working on it for, like, what, like, six years now. It is really my magnum opus. It's like, like, potentially the greatest thing I've ever created.

[Kai]

Oh, your magnum opus.

[Drew Phillips]

It might never see the light of day. Honestly, I don't think years are deserving for. It's definitely ahead of its time. And, like, if I dropped it now, it would flop. People wouldn't with it. But in 15 years, they'd be like, damn. He was, like, really creating for the future. Like, people just wouldn't understand it now. So I'm like, do I drop it now, or do I wait 10 to 15 years and drop it then when it's like. Like, when the ears are ready? That's what I'm struggling with. Like, do I want to be cool now or do I want to be cool in the future?

[Christian]

I heard it, and it's insane.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah.

[Christian]

Like, I can't enjoy music anymore.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah.

[Christian]

Because I'm always comparing everything to that.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. I mean, I feel the same way. I'm not even gonna be humble about it. It really is a masterpiece. Okay, should we do Drew sigh up corner?

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

I'll only give them three today. The inventor of celery. Be like, damn, I wish I could bite water with hair in it.

[Kai]

That's a good one.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm so freaking excited for autism. Like, beautiful orange and red leaves everywhere. Yes. And pumpkin spice lattes.

[Kai]

Oh, my God. The other day, I had my first meal was a pumpkin spice latte and oysters and a cigarette. So. Yeah. And cigarettes. So if you're wondering how my coochie tastes, it tastes like Chernobyl.

[Drew Phillips]

People died. He only misses me because I could suck a dent out of a car door.

[Kai]

Damn. For real. Send that to me, please.

[Drew Phillips]

I hate cheap ass toilet paper. I just fingered my Inya knows everything until I ask her, what's that smell?

[Kai]

That was a good one.

[Drew Phillips]

Y' all are eating discharge. Like, ooh, she got that wet wep. No, you are eating cream of mushroom. That's discharge, babe. And then this one. This one is mid. No, I'm not even going to say.

[Kai]

Say, say.

[Drew Phillips]

I need to know is stupid. Social media is only. Social media only toxic to miserable people. I'm having a ball on this.

[Kai]

It's literally true.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, y' all need to just relax a little bit. We need Tumblr to come back because we need that echo chamber of everyone just yelling at each other, and it needs to be just there.

[Kai]

I'm trying to find this one that I have. Okay, so here is. Oh, we like camp without it. He would be pissed.

[Drew Phillips]

We can ask him.

[Kai]

Okay, I think I. Maybe I read this, but I'll add to Psyop Corner. I offered you five hits from my elf bar. He offered you 20. And that's why you chose him. But what you didn't know was that he had 500 puffs left and I had only five.

[Drew Phillips]

Whoa, whoa.

[Christian]

That's crazy.

[Drew Phillips]

What the hell makes you think. It's actually really deep? All right, so should we get into media? Yeah, Okay.

[Kai]

I guess we have no choice.

[Drew Phillips]

A barely lit path. 100 tricks point. You know what I listened to finally, and I could listen to it all the way through, and I did cry, but it felt good. Was. What are. What's that song? Texas song? Dead brother driving up and down the street.

[Kai]

Slow Dive.

[Drew Phillips]

Yes. Slow Dive.

[Kai]

Roving.

[Drew Phillips]

Roving. Yes. That song. Slow Roving or yeah, listen to that song.

[Kai]

Star Roving.

[Drew Phillips]

Yes. Also, I saw a video of the dad of an interview of a dad of the dad.

[Kai]

Oh, my God, this song is so good.

[Drew Phillips]

I saw a video of the lead in Slow Dive talking about how he has, like, a 12 year old daughter that, like, had no idea what music he made and just thought he was in an old lame band and that was it. But then his daughter started, like, realizing her friends have been listening to Slow Dive a little bit, and it was just like a cute moment for him and his daughter because now she's, like, interested in his work. And she always was like, this shit's a. You're in a shitty band.

[Kai]

Oh, I wish my dad was in Slow Dive.

[Drew Phillips]

Hello? Yeah. So you're, like, on the podcast right now, Mom. And I was curious if I should come back home to Texas in like a week or so.

[Kai]

Oh, good God, no. Drew, shut up. I can't talk right now.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh.

[Kai]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

[Drew Phillips]

No. That's a fun game we play.

[Christian]

I don't.

[Kai]

Oh, are you about to cry?

[Christian]

She seems serious.

[Drew Phillips]

That's a fun. No, it's like fun for us. True.

[Christian]

Do you want me to cut that?

[Kai]

I know, just like we. Stop.

[Christian]

Do you need to take a break?

[Kai]

Hello? Oh, he's rebooting. Just kidding. He'll. He'll be back.

[Christian]

What is. What do you mean rebooting? Oh.

[Drew Phillips]

Welcome back.

[Kai]

Hey. Okay, we're going to get back into media, guys. Sorry for that.

[Drew Phillips]

What happened? What are you sorry for?

[Kai]

Nothing. Nothing happened. Just. Your mom called and said she loved you and then hung up on you. But because she was so overpowered, she's.

[Christian]

Proud of you and.

[Drew Phillips]

Really? That's weird. She never says that. Yeah, I wish I remembered that.

[Kai]

I wish I remember that. Mine is Long hot summer, the style council. And that's all I'm gonna say.

[Drew Phillips]

Turn style.

[Kai]

I'm so hot. Grind mode, Whole problems, JT Money and honestly Spin about you by Drake.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm so high right now, man.

[Kai]

I'm so high. All right, bye. Bye.

[Drew Phillips]

See you on Patreon.

[Ryan Seacrest]

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