episode one hundred and eighty six

Summary

Emergency Intercom – Episode 186 Summary

Hosts: Enya Umanzor & Drew Phillips
Release Date: April 4, 2025
Podcast Description: Emergency Intercom is a comedy podcast by Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips. There is no emergency, but there is an intense need for attention, so maybe listen up… You don’t want to know what happens if you don’t. (we will be violent)

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1. Alcohol Experiences and Personal Reflections

Timeframe: [00:15] – [03:04]

The episode kicks off with Drew and Kai discussing their experiences with alcohol and hangovers. Drew shares a poignant moment about his last severe hangover, linking it to his decision to stop drinking after his psychiatrist prescribed Prozac.

Notable Quotes:

• Drew: "You haven't been hungover in like a long time or." [00:15]
• Kai: "I was screaming in my head. I've said this a billion times. I was literally screaming like, call an ambulance. Like, please." [01:36]
• Drew: "That's why now when I meet a 21-year-old or a 22-year-old... I genuinely look at them and I'm like, wow, you are like, you're young to me." [02:15]

2. Magicians, Chris Angel Obsession, and Life-Saving Stories

Timeframe: [03:04] – [07:22]

The conversation shifts to Drew’s childhood fascination with magicians, specifically Chris Angel, and how it influenced him. Kai recounts a harrowing yet heroic story of saving a friend from suicide, intertwining it with their shared interest in magic.

Notable Quotes:

• Drew: "I became hyper fixated on magicians and I became hyper fixated on Chris Angel." [04:11]
• Kai: "I saved his life. I saved his life." [06:07]
• Drew: "That is one of the biggest steps up from the Dua Lipa incident." [16:51] (Note: This timestamp seems out of sequence but is included based on transcript)

3. Technology, Internet Limitations, and Silicon Discussion

Timeframe: [07:22] – [16:15]

The hosts delve into a technical discussion about the Internet's theoretical limits, silicon usage, and data storage challenges. They explore the conversion of sand to silicon and its implications on technology and infrastructure.

Notable Quotes:

• Kai: "How is the Internet infinite if I can't have infinite data on my computer?" [14:22]
• Orion: "There is a theoretical limit to the Internet size. It's like, the amount of silicone." [14:37]
• Drew: "Some of these files, I know damn well you're all up to." [14:27]

4. Personal Interactions with Celebrities and Emotional Moments

Timeframe: [16:15] – [28:50]

Orion shares significant personal experiences, including attending a concert and a humorous yet heartfelt encounter with a celebrity named Cynthia. Drew echoes similar sentiments, recounting an emotional meeting at a charity event which reignited his teenage enthusiasm.

Notable Quotes:

• Orion: "I started crying, like, tearing up because I started to talk about Ray now." [18:48]
• Drew: "That was lit as I was so happy. And that's like, the first time in a long time I felt like that about a celebrity." [25:29]
• Kai: "I held her up for way too fucking long because I was just high and ranting to her." [25:18]

5. Sleep Disorders, Lucid Dreaming, and Mental Health

Timeframe: [28:50] – [36:52]

The discussion moves to sleep-related issues such as exploding head syndrome and lucid dreaming. Orion shares a frightening lucid dreaming experience, while Kai talks about hearing voices and experiencing disorienting sounds when falling asleep.

Notable Quotes:

• Kai: "When I'm falling asleep, I hear explosions... it's like, literally, look out my eye." [35:16]
• Orion: "I taught myself how to lucid dream, but I had a horrible experience where I awoke in my parents' bathroom on fire." [29:32]

6. Relationships, Self-Image, and Body Positivity

Timeframe: [36:52] – [51:13]

The hosts engage in a candid conversation about body image, specifically focusing on breast size and density. Drew shares his journey toward accepting his changing body, while Kai humorously laments issues related to body modifications and self-image.

Notable Quotes:

• Drew: "If I'm supposed to bald, I'll have a shaved head... People like she was gorgeous." [50:10]
• Kai: "I got castrated for this, so I didn't go through puberty." [28:25]
• Drew: "I have low-density breasts... fixing the straps and stuff." [50:17]

7. Miscellaneous Topics and Humor

Timeframe: [51:13] – [62:21]

In the final segments, the conversation becomes more lighthearted and humorous. Topics range from McDonald's collaborations and fast food observations to playful banter about split techniques and personal quirks. The hosts engage in playful insults and comedic exchanges, maintaining a lively and entertaining atmosphere.

Notable Quotes:

• Kai: "I've been using gooch green... making it like the greatest feeling of all time." [11:30]
• Drew: "Jim Carrey could do the podcast, but could you be the mask?" [62:00]
• Kai: "I feel like I literally am like, the Jim Carrey of our generation." [61:58]

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Conclusion

Episode 186 of Emergency Intercom is a rollercoaster of personal anecdotes, deep reflections, and relentless humor. Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips, alongside Orion, navigate through topics ranging from mental health and personal growth to technology and self-image, all while maintaining their signature comedic flair. The episode offers listeners an engaging blend of heartfelt stories and laugh-out-loud moments, making it both relatable and entertaining for those tuning in for the first time.

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Highlighted Quotes with Timestamps:

• Drew [00:15]: "You haven't been hungover in like a long time or."
• Kai [01:36]: "I was screaming in my head. I've said this a billion times. I was literally screaming like, call an ambulance. Like, please."
• Drew [02:15]: "That's why now when I meet a 21-year-old or a 22-year-old... I genuinely look at them and I'm like, wow, you are like, you're young to me."
• Kai [28:25]: "I got castrated for this, so I didn't go through puberty."
• Drew [50:10]: "If I'm supposed to bald, I'll have a shaved head... People like she was gorgeous."
• Kai [61:58]: "I feel like I literally am like, the Jim Carrey of our generation."

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Note: Advertisements and sponsorship segments have been excluded from this summary to focus solely on the podcast's content.

Transcript

[Drew]

You haven't been hungover in like a long time or.

[Kai]

No, no, I haven't been hungover in probably like five years, four years.

[Drew]

So insane. Because I'm with Kai. Like, my last like, hangover was like a year ago at this point. That's also a complete lie. I was like, I've been on my medicine since August. So, like, before then, I think actually right before I got the last. The call I had with my psychiatrist when he prescribed Prozac, I was suffering the worst hangover. Like, because the night before I had so many drinks, like, hanging out with Orion. And I kind of was like, so happy to hear that I couldn't drink anymore. Because I was like, thank God. Because I. To me now, like, or even at that point too many drinks was. I had four drinks within the span of like four hours and I think I had like half or a sip of the fifth drink and I was like. And I ate a big meal and like drank a bunch of water and had electrolytes before I went to sleep and I snapped. Still woke up. Like.

[Orion]

Was. Was definitively the last time you drank. The sidewalk thing?

[Kai]

I think so. I think.

[Drew]

I think that was it.

[Kai]

That was like the last time I like, drank, drank. Like, what.

[Orion]

What did you experience when you were like, passed out or was it just like completely.

[Drew]

It was darkness.

[Orion]

It was pure darkness.

[Kai]

I was screaming in my head. I've said this a billion times. I was literally screaming like, call an ambulance. Like, please.

[Drew]

I was like fully lucid inside. I remember you were saying that like, you felt like you couldn't even like, project. Now looking back at that, it is insane. And I'm like, holy shit. That's why now when I meet a 21 year old or a 22 year old, it sounds like such an annoying old head thing to say, but I genuinely look at them and I'm like, wow, you are like, you're young to me. I look at me at 21 and I'm like, oh my God. Because now as an adult, I'd be like, fudgeing, call an ambulance.

[Orion]

Like, I'm still. I feel still very young. I feel like I still have growing pains when I go to sleep.

[Drew]

Oh, no, literally, I. Yeah, I think.

[Orion]

Well, I'm only 30, so I feel like there's still some growing.

[Drew]

No, I'm not kidding. I'm like, the last year I have felt like a teenager in a way I can't describe. And I'm like, Jesus Christ. Like, I'm like, oh my God. I thought. I remember at 22. I have a tick tock somewhere where it was like me being like, I can feel. I feel my age now, 22. Or like I have some dramatic.

[Kai]

It was 25.

[Drew]

No, that. Because 25 is actually when I was like. That was when I was like, oh God. And that's when I started to feel like a teenager again. And I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wow. Like the year before that I was like, I am so I've got it figured out. And then it just.

[Orion]

Well, I. I still buy shoes that are a little bit too big, cuz I'm going to grow into them because.

[Kai]

They are full of sand.

[Drew]

Oh, so he can have a sand pocket. You lowkey should do that. You should find one of those YouTube engineers. And like, I have like two guys in mind who I don't know off the top of the head, but they're the people who I watch to fall asleep. Which actually sounds crazy, but I can get through like two videos and buy the third one. I'm like. Because they have really good voices. Do you know who I'm talking about? I've talked to you about him. One of these guys is like in his basement, he has a huge fucking studio where he just does like, it's what I thought high school was going to be because he does demonstrations of physics to like help explain how things are made. Like bridges, dams, how they do like garbage sites, how that works and all that. And I'm like, oh, okay. Visual learner.

[Orion]

Wait, is that Nile Red?

[Kai]

No, I love Niall Chemist.

[Drew]

Right? Yeah, yeah, with him, freaky ass channel.

[Orion]

Like, turn us snickers into like alcohol or something.

[Kai]

He'll turn a chocolate chip cookie into gold.

[Drew]

Like I was thinking earlier, because you showed me that ass video of Criss Angel.

[Kai]

Like, that's my dream. Here, let me show you.

[Drew]

You have to show Kai. Like, this was what I opened my eyes to this morning, by the way. Like, I woke up and Drew came into my room and this is the first thing he showed me.

[Kai]

Like, I want to do this so bad.

[Drew]

Oh, it would make me so happy at this point. Okay, wait, what?

[Kai]

How do you spell his name?

[Orion]

Nile, I think it's like, oh, Chris Angel.

[Drew]

C H R I S. Or he's some freaky and it's C R I S. Like Christina, Chris Angel.

[Kai]

Instagram mind freak.

[Drew]

You know, what's up is I was talking to someone about this the other day. I when that movie now you see me came out. I don't even want to think about how old I was. Because I think I was a bit too old to be this obsessed, but I became hyper fixated on magicians and I became hyper fixated on Chris Angel. And I. Like, that was when YouTube was kind of at its start so you could find. Find clips. So this had to have been like, maybe 2011. I was maybe 12, so actually that's a. That is a child as. So I was acting my age at 12. I wanted to be a magician so bad because the.

[Kai]

The kid that I saved from killing himself, like, when I, like, literally took him out of the noose, was obsessed with magic. And I was so jealous that he got this.

[Drew]

And was it his, like, departing gift and how you knew he was, like, going away?

[Kai]

Yeah, he. He was like. He started giving away all of items like his, like, Xbox, his PlayStation, like, everything. And he gave me that goddamn magic kit. And I was like, oh, yes. Like, he gave me a magic kit and he's giving me his PS3 next week. Like, yeah, like, this is lit. Turns out he was planning a suicide.

[Drew]

But is it.

[Kai]

But I saved his life. I saved his life.

[Drew]

I was going to say, was it him on Xbox that made. You know. But I remember one time you were like, that kid was obsessed with magic. So I started to kind of raise an eyebrow when he gave away the magic kit because I was like, yeah.

[Kai]

I was like, wait, hold on. Because I was so jealous of that fucking thing. But yeah, we were in an Xbox party playing Halo, and his, like, departing goodbye felt really off. And I was like, I went and told my mom and I was like, that. That didn't seem. That didn't seem normal. Like, that would, like, that wasn't a good goodbye. And he lived up the street. And she was like, oh, we'll just, like, go check on him. So I went up the street to his house, ran around back, open the back door, because his front door, he wasn't opening the door. And I was like, oh, Fuck. Mind you, 12 years old, maybe 13. And I ran around back and crawled through his brother's bedroom window and went into his room. This was literally hanging, hanging on by a thread. And he was no shade, like, a little bigger than me. I was a little baby Twinkie kid. And so I had to get up under him and pick him up off of the noose. He's blue.

[Drew]

Oh, my God, Drew, that is.

[Kai]

So then he begged me not to tell his mom. Oh, I didn't tell his mom, but my mom told his mom.

[Drew]

I mean, I got sent away. So sad. But also, like, also this Criss angel video.

[Kai]

I found it.

[Drew]

Like, what about this makes you a magician or a mind freak?

[Orion]

This is what I think about when.

[Drew]

Someone says, maybe that does make.

[Orion]

That is quite literally a mind freak.

[Drew]

Behavior to keep things in perspective. That video is definitely sped up. It's definitely.

[Kai]

Oh, no, it is. It is.

[Drew]

So imagine. Yeah, Imagine being there, and it's just like.

[Kai]

It's like. Well, he has other ones of him floating around.

[Drew]

Like, that's how long it would take.

[Kai]

To watch him, like, walking down the ladder. He loves this trick. Walking down the ladder.

[Drew]

No. Okay, okay, okay. Can we please see if he's performing soon? Because I'm not kidding. That is the kind of. That I genuinely think will bring me joy. Like, we used to do, like, that. We used to, like, go to the, like, marionette show. American. Oh, yeah, I guess Bob Baker. We used to go to Bob Baker. We used to do, like, stupid. We used to go. Going to the zoo was so fun. Oh, do you know what Bob Baker is?

[Orion]

No.

[Drew]

It's was this place that was across the street from the block we lived on, and we used to always just walk around that area, and we always saw it. And then finally we went and it was cool as. Because it's literally just puppeteers.

[Kai]

Puppets.

[Drew]

Like, it's just a puppet show. And I grew up loving the Muppets. I'm like, damn, I need to start doing like that again. Because that's also when I was the happiest recently is when Josh was obsessed with the Muppets and I started watching the Muppets again. Like, their cover of Take Me to Rio is so good.

[Kai]

Have y'all heard the old iPhone alarms, like, recently?

[Drew]

No.

[Kai]

Oh, my God. This is my ringtone.

[Drew]

That really is it. And it's been it since that song was, like, a thing.

[Kai]

Yeah. So people call me that. Or, wait, where is the one that, like, was cracking me the fuck up?

[Drew]

Wow. That song actually, like, really had longevity because there's a fortnite skin with it that. Oh, I need to make mine that right the now. Wait.

[Kai]

I remember hearing these for the first time and being like, wow, they're, like, groundbreaking.

[Drew]

And. No, not only that. You know what this is reminding me of? Before there were, like, apps and. Because I. Me and my siblings shared the first iPhone because we had it. Because the guy.

[Kai]

This one, this one, this one. Who had that as their ringtone, bro.

[Drew]

Also, I know something's wrong with me because I could keep talking in coherent sentences the whole time he's doing Drew.

[Orion]

Just, like, stare off into the distance while pressing each one of those. Like, it's like the orangutan video.

[Kai]

Also, why is a motorcycle.

[Drew]

Bro? It's when they were like, oh, wait, that's when we had true innovators. They were throwing at the wall and seeing if it would stick. They were like, this one.

[Kai]

This one.

[Drew]

Bro. The meanest shit we've ever done is one time when Orion was leaving our old apartment, we were still that one way, dude.

[Orion]

The. The, like, Goofy. Yeah.

[Kai]

I hate that one.

[Drew]

You know what's fucked up is that sound just reminds me of the alien skin on Fortnite.

[Orion]

Oh, yeah.

[Drew]

Like, alien sound like, that's exactly what an alien looks like. And he's wearing little swim trunks. You already know the freakiest Disney adult you've ever met. Like, she's all. She's down, down, down. That's her ringtone. The light.

[Kai]

The haptic feedbacks on that one are crazy.

[Orion]

Like, I know. That felt good.

[Kai]

Yeah. No, it's like it's vibrating down. Like, you know when you get a mosquito bite on the clit of your ankle and you itch it? That's what the glit of your ankle. Yeah. And you, like, itch it and it feels like. It's really like. It's like the greatest feeling of all time.

[Drew]

That was amazing.

[Kai]

That's what it feels like when you're itching the mosquito bite on the clit of your ankle.

[Drew]

No, to me, that's more like a tickle.

[Kai]

Oh. This was my dad's ringtone. Why does this make me sad? Okay. It's not funny.

[Drew]

My dad always had song ringtones. He always, always had song ringtones. And it was awesome. I got. Because my dad and mom, up until, like, 2015, they were Samsung users. Samsung, Loki got smart. Because isn't that, like, the top distributor of tech in general?

[Kai]

Like, it's like, literally that one of.

[Drew]

The biggest tech companies and they let Apple get away with having Apple users dig on them for so long. And they were like, yeah, yeah. Like, you play your silly games and try to expand your company, but you're, like, never going to beat us. And now they just, like, kind of whoop their asses with the phone.

[Orion]

I know. I feel like they weaponize the resentment because now Samsung phones are literally. Have you seen what they look like? They're from, like, the year 2015.

[Drew]

No, I literally think I want to switch. And you know what's fucked up? I don't give a fuck. I want the one that opens into a huge.

[Kai]

No, that's what I was about to say, there's one that you can open and it's like six screens. Like, you fold it open and it's three screens. Like, it's so ridiculous. And I want it so bad also.

[Drew]

Especially because, like, there's so much used. Like, there is so much used. Like, I'm like, I'm just switch off. Because Samsung now is, like, I think a competitor in terms of prices. Like, iPhones are. It's the craziest thing ever, but I guess actually it is the. Why the. Is an iPhone and a laptop from them the same price? I like, you can't do with this thing. And it's.

[Kai]

You can do everything with this thing.

[Drew]

Yeah, you could do everything, but everything.

[Kai]

Ever.

[Orion]

Literally rearrange everything.

[Drew]

You can't do everything. Because Rain and me went on that trip and I used a camcorder because I'm, like, so cool. And I had to give her those files. It's an older system, so the only way to access those files is you have to convert them into MP3s manually. And, like, yes, I could sit there and convert them all, but my laptop is fucking full. And I don't want to have to deal with it because, oh, my God, I spent so much money on this thing and I'm a freak, and I. I'm not like, an organized file.

[Kai]

I hate storage on a fucking MacBook. I know.

[Drew]

Like, why, like, how have you not figured it out? Like, make it infinite. Like, make it infinite. We used to strive for infinite. Like, we need to go back to getting infinity also.

[Kai]

It doesn't make sense to me. Like, why is, like, ones and zeros, like, taking up, like, physical space?

[Drew]

Like, clean it up. You're so fucking smart. Damn. Like, some of these files, I know damn well you're all up to.

[Kai]

Also. Wait, how is the Internet infinite?

[Drew]

Smaller files for me.

[Kai]

How is the Internet infinite if I can't have infinite data on my computer? Why is the Internet.

[Orion]

I think there's a theoretical limit to the Internet size. It's like, the amount of silicone.

[Kai]

Okay, enough. Okay, all right, I'm with you. That is, I actually do want to.

[Drew]

Know because I'm, like, so confused.

[Orion]

I think there's, like, a theoretical. Because silicon is made from sand, I.

[Kai]

Think, essentially from the shoe of Kai.

[Orion]

Well, that's.

[Drew]

Oh, that's what.

[Kai]

So often he's making silo content.

[Drew]

Actually, he's making the Internet than I thought. Like, I'm so sorry. That's amazing.

[Orion]

Okay. Honestly. Thank you.

[Drew]

I actually. Okay, yeah.

[Kai]

So silicon, is it like, servers and Shit.

[Orion]

Like, I think, I think you can. You can view like the amount of material that can be converted into silicon and then you can. There is a theoretical. I'm like, I think it's like exabytes. It's like a billion trillion exabytes of rocks that you can convert into silicon. I remember seeing something about I wanted.

[Kai]

To buy a silicon disk off of ebay one time, but it was 500 and I.

[Drew]

Silicon. Is that what they like make like, like glass? Oh, it's glass, basically. Okay, right, okay, so it is just glass. Because if it's sand, they're just heating up the glass to use. I'm not totally heating. They're heating up the sand to just like make it into glass.

[Kai]

Why the three dumb bitches. I know. Why is it exactly, exactly.

[Drew]

I'm like so confused by that, but just keep going.

[Orion]

Well, I think basically I think it's like they turn it into, from. I think it's literally from rocks into a version of glass and they etch rocks into circuitry onto it. Yeah, yeah, I did want to talk about.

[Drew]

Oh my God, you can literally get silica. Oh, so it's. Yeah, it's just minerals. Cool.

[Kai]

Kai, what were you saying?

[Orion]

Oh, two really important things happened to me last week. I was Sally at the Role Model concert, which for a 30 year old man is like, obviously that's a huge role. That's. Yeah, yeah, it's amazing. And then also, so I was on tour with him for like five shows and at the one in L. A, Shaboozy came up to me and asked me if I was Ian the rapper. Yeah.

[Kai]

Wow. And you said yes?

[Orion]

I said I wish. And he thought that was really funny.

[Kai]

Wow.

[Drew]

Wait, why do I love that? Oh, that's sweet. That's a really big step up from the Dua Lipa incident.

[Orion]

Yeah, I have no idea.

[Drew]

You've got your grounding run.

[Orion]

I actually don't know.

[Drew]

I got a bit of confidence and Pepin is still.

[Orion]

I actually control the it, so there's no way that that's going to be.

[Drew]

No, I, I feel you though, because I had like. I can't even make fun of you for the Dua Lipa thing because I cried to a huge celebrity in public like this weekend.

[Kai]

Literally, like sobbed.

[Orion]

Wow, that's so sick.

[Drew]

Okay, so I was at this like vintage market and I was with friends and it was like really packed. So I must admit I went outside and I smoked because I was like, if I go outside and I smoke, I'm going to come Back in here and get hyper fixated on the fact that the, like, there's just a bunch of clothes. And it was, like, a whole charity thing, and I was like, oh, cool. I could find, like, a cool thing here. So I like, there were a bunch of friends of ours who were there, so I was, like, talking to them. Whatever. I'm on this one floor, and one of my friends comes up to me and is like, cynthia is here and, like.

[Kai]

And you, like, turn around, and she's, like, literally, like, four foot two, floating through the crowd. Like, she's really tiny.

[Drew]

She's so tiny. Oh, my God. I literally, like, oh, I think I, like, grew up with Stan behavior. Like, I only, like, do so much. I only like music so much because that is just my nerd hyper fixation. And I don't have that with, like, actors. But with Cynthia, I'm like, oh, my God. She has knocked both out of the park. So I must stand. Like, I only kind of feel that way with musicians, and I'm blessed enough that, like, because of how vocal I've been about, like, my love for music. I'm friends with a lot of artists, which is, to me, I'm like, like, I. They don't know I'm their biggest fan.

[Kai]

Hey, guys, we wanted to take a quick break to thank one of today's sponsors, SeatGeek. Hey. I am so freaking excited for the NBA playoffs, y'all. Thought I said I was gonna say a musician? No, I want to see basketball. And I know y'all hate to hear that, but, like, I'm a Hooper at heart. I love basketball. Unfortunately, my mavericks were blown up, so I am now a spurs fan, and they're not making the playoffs this year because wimby fragile, so I'm an OKC fan now. I will be getting my tickets to my basketball games on seatgeek. With over 28 million downloads, Seatgeek is the number one rated ticketing app. There are more than 70,000 events listed on seatgeek, including concerts, sports and festivals and more. There's so many artists going on tour this summer, like Beyonce and Sabrina. Hey, I mean, I've used seatgeek countless times. My favorite was when I bought tickets for me and my dad to go watch Luca drop 60 points and win in overtime and just know I came through for you guys. You can use code EMERGENCY10 for 10% off your next set of tickets at SeatGeek. That's 10% off tickets with promo code EMERGENCY10. Make sure you click the link in the description to Download the app and have the code automatically added to your account so you can use it later. Thank you, seatgeek.

[Drew]

Hey, guys. We want to take a quick break from today's episode to thank one of today's sponsors, Shopify, Home of the number one checkout on the freaking planet. And the not so secret secret with shop pay that boosts conversions up to 50%, meaning way less carts going abandoned and way more SAF sales. Shopify is the platform to use if you want to grow your business. Shopify was one of my first introductions to selling anything online, let alone running any business. Anytime I think of starting a website or I have an idea to sell a product, Shopify is my first go to. It puts all your info into one place. It makes growing your business easy. It makes running your business easy. I'm not the smartest girl, but Shopify makes it work. Upgrade your business and get the same checkout Alo Yoga uses. Sign up for your $1 month trial period at shopify.com intercom all lowercase go to shopify.com intercom to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.com intercom they don't know I know all their lyrics because if I like a song, I have to read the lyrics and memorize them. It's like, I'm not kidding. I think if you look up the word lyrics in my history, it will go forever. Like, I. I want to know what.

[Kai]

Quite literally could not be more opposite.

[Drew]

I know, which is nice.

[Kai]

I've been understanding a lot of songs recently, though. For the first time, I know.

[Orion]

Oh, well, you have synesthesia, so that's.

[Kai]

Yeah, I see the lyrics in my head.

[Drew]

I paint the lyrics in my mind.

[Orion]

What color and shape is a Benson Boone song?

[Kai]

Blue circle.

[Orion]

I see that. Yeah. Ask another blue backflip what color and shape is a Claro song.

[Kai]

That's a tricky one, because it's not just a single color or shape. It's like an explosion of red and yellow.

[Orion]

It's like one of those four.

[Kai]

Like a paintball.

[Drew]

Yeah, a paint splatter.

[Kai]

It's like a paint splatter. A neon delta paint splatter. When she did her talent show.

[Drew]

That's hella funny. What the was I saying? Oh, yeah. We were at this market and somebody told me that, and I was like, okay, I'm not gonna go up to her. Because I. I usually don't go up to people. And I was like, that's fucking insane. And at the end of it, she like, I. But I had seen all of my friends going up to her. Like, she was having conversations. Like, she was talking to people, and it wasn't, like, a thing where she was, like, fully alone. And then at one point, she was, like, talking to a girl, and then she turned around and, like, went to walk away. And I was like, dude, I don't know why I need to just be like, you are amazing. Because I literally think she's amazing. And I'm like, I never have this, like, guttural feeling. But I was like. I think I was so pulled to it because me and Rain got really close because of my hyper fixation with Wicked. And me and Rain love, like, her and Ariana so much. And, like, we were like, we gossip about the fact that, like, things are being previewed at Comic Con right now. Whatever. I went up to her, and I was like, I think you were so awesome. And I am just such a. Like, I don't know. I think because I was high, I forgot that I essentially was running up to a beetle. Like, she's one of the Beatles. Like, her. Her to me, her and Ariana Grande. Like, Drake has made comments about how he's bigger than the Beatles, and I'm like, babe, like, whatever. But Wicked is the Beatles. Like, to me. Like, to me right now, like, I feel that way. Like, I feel that strongly. I remember when I didn't like the Beatles, and people would, like, really get passionate to me about it, and I'd be like, whatever that is. I like the Beatles now, but I don't have that passion for that. I have that passion for. For Wicked. And I went up to her, and I was like, I usually don't do this, and I'm so sorry, but, like, I used to, like, be that annoying person who was like, oh, musicals are like, whatever. I don't really like them. I don't like theater like that. And my friend who I ended up getting really close to because of this showed me Wicked. And, like, I have, like, such a newfound respect for what it really is to be a performer and what it is to, like, be a creative and actually be passionate and, like, put it in, whatever. I held her up for way too fucking long because I was just high and ranting to her. And then I saw, like, a. There was, like, a photographer there, and I saw a photographer coming up, and I was like, oh, my God, I'm gonna go, because I don't want, like, this on camera, because I don't want her to just, like, be berated because a photographer sees, like, her in a conversation. And then I was like, she was like, oh, my God, thank you. Like, that means so much. Like, I really love to hear that. And then I was like, I started crying, like, tearing up because I started to talk about Ray now. I was like, also, it just brought me, like, so, so close to, like, somebody who I really love. And I started, like, to cry, and she's like, like, oh, my God. Okay. And I was like. Then the darker came, and she probably thought I was b crazy because I go, okay, yeah. Just had to say that. Please enjoy your day. Thank you so much for hearing me out. And I turned and I ran away.

[Orion]

That's really sweet.

[Drew]

But, yeah, I, like, went back to my friend who I'd been hanging out with that day, and I just started cracking up because I was. I just looked at him. I was like, she probably thinks I'm batshit crazy. Like, I am a crazy person. That was so weird. But, like, I was so happy because.

[Orion]

I was like, no, that sounds really sweet.

[Drew]

Honestly, like, that was lit as I was so happy. And that's like, the first time in a long time I felt like that about a celebrity. And in that way, it made me feel like a teenager again, too, because I was like.

[Kai]

Well, we were seven days into lockdown. Seven. Seven days into lockdown when all of the celebrities got together and made the Imagine cover. We were locked down for seven whole days.

[Orion]

What color and shape is that song Black Hole?

[Kai]

They really could not handle having zero attention on them for seven days that they got together and did that. Yeah, that, like, that blew my mind. Like, I saw a girl talking about it on Tick Tock and I was like.

[Drew]

Bro, the group chat for this probably was insane.

[Kai]

There's no heaven easy if you try. They're being dead serious too. No hell below us, above us, only sky. Imagine all the people, the people that.

[Drew]

Like seeing for today.

[Kai]

Wait, that is Josiah. Wait, who is this? Wait, who is that? Who was that? James?

[Drew]

That's somebody who edited themselves.

[Kai]

Yeah. James, what was that?

[Drew]

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. We need to reach, like, we need to wait. Who Lay ourselves in and cover up random people.

[Kai]

Wait, is this Vincent Boone?

[Drew]

Oh, wait, I don't know. That is so funny.

[Orion]

I have no idea. It looks. Is that like a snowboarder?

[Drew]

Well, a random.

[Kai]

I get a lot commented. The only thing moving during this montage was my gag reflex. Oh, I thought they were making, like, a sex joke, but I guess they were gagging at it. They were so gagged by that.

[Orion]

Gagged me.

[Kai]

That literally gagged me. Also, we have yet to Talk about my Beyonce covers from the DJ set that everybody said was fake.

[Drew]

They said it was fake.

[Kai]

They said it was Josiah singing for me.

[Orion]

No, babe, insane.

[Kai]

Six months.

[Orion]

For six months? Yeah.

[Kai]

Literally six months.

[Orion]

And you've gone through hell.

[Kai]

I know. I was. I literally was in the studio with Beyonce getting vocal lessons from.

[Drew]

No, you went and got vocal surgery. Like, there's like a new thing in LA where they'll like. I'm not even kidding. I'm not lying, guys. I'm not lying, guys.

[Kai]

I didn't want to bring this up.

[Drew]

They'll put Botox, like, in your vocal cords.

[Orion]

And you can sing better.

[Drew]

And you can sing better.

[Kai]

I got castrated for this, so I didn't go through puberty.

[Orion]

I think you missed the window to get castrated.

[Drew]

No, no, don't say that about him.

[Kai]

Don't say that. Don't say that.

[Drew]

Oh, my God.

[Kai]

Oh, well, also, we're gonna run those videos, by the way, and we're gonna play them all the way through. People are gonna be, no, my Beyonce covers, and people are gonna be annoyed, but the world needs to hear my voice. Voice.

[Drew]

Yeah. Okay.

[Orion]

Dude, watching those back, we'll upload them to shorts. I genuinely am. I. I think that's the closest I remember, like, a couple years ago, I taught myself how to lucid dream, but I had, like, a horrible experience where I basically just, like, awoke in my parents bathroom and I was, like, on fire. And then I was like, no.

[Kai]

And I like, wait, that's what you wanted to do?

[Orion]

No, I wanted to fucking have sex and fly. But then I, like, forced myself out of the lucid dream and I was paralyzed for. For three and a half minutes. But anyway, watching those videos back is the, like, closest feeling I have to, like, lucid dreaming.

[Kai]

I know. I hate that. It's also red light, and I, like, hate red light with the other hat on top.

[Drew]

Oh, my God.

[Kai]

Bring in the fucking clowns.

[Orion]

Wait, Drew, did you. Oh, we haven't talked about this. The structures they found under the pyramids.

[Kai]

Oh, yeah, the eight spiral.

[Drew]

I saw that and I don't believe it.

[Kai]

I'm like, I need to see it with my own two eyes.

[Orion]

What's crazy is, like, I, like. I'm like, so skeptical of everything, so I'm like, oh, it's probably AI generated. But then I see that. I'm like, yeah, of course there's batteries under.

[Kai]

There's laser beams that shoot immediately.

[Orion]

My brain's like, yes, yes, of course there's. There's like a Empire State Building Tall Battery. Under both of the eight of them. Yes. And they were like.

[Drew]

That's why I was like, bro, no fucking way. And I just saw that because I started watching it, and I was like, like, whoa. Because I. Everything I see now, I'm like, this.

[Kai]

I believe. Everything I see on the Internet. I'm not kidding. Everything that crosses my feet, I believe. I'm like, yep, period.

[Drew]

No, some things. Well, I'm also like, the. We've been over this. Like, the moon landing. Like, but I really actually. On the last plane ride I got on, I really want to go to space. Like, I think I need to go to space soon, or I need to do skydiving, which I've always been against. But, no, if I die, I die. But if I don't die, I'm scared I might become addicted to skydiving.

[Kai]

I was gonna say I can't go skydiving or, like, climb. I can't walk across a bridge or anything, because I used to think I was gonna die in a car crash, but now I know I'm gonna die from falling from a high. Like, a really high structure. I just have visions. Like, I know what it feels like to be stabbed.

[Drew]

Just being, like. Exactly.

[Kai]

No, I know what it. I know what it feels like to be. Be stabbed because I was killed in a past life by a knife. And that's why I'm so scared of being stabbed. Like, that's my literal worst fear, is being stabbed to death. I'm going to fall from, like, a really high place, and that's how I'm going to die. So I have to, like, avoid tall buildings. Like, I cannot go to the top of the Empire State Building. I cannot, like, also, I'm just so tiny.

[Drew]

I can't. I can't. Like, no one's trying to take you to the top of people are Empire State one.

[Kai]

I'm so, like, tiny and thin. Like, one. One, like, gust of wind would blow me over the edge.

[Orion]

I will say, when we were walking around New York, I did see, like, you know, there's those grates where. Where the subway tracks are, and that, like, pushes wind out of it to, like, dissipate the air pressure. Yeah. Drew was walking over one, and it lifted him up a couple blocks, and I had to, like, go and get him.

[Kai]

It was, like, horrible.

[Drew]

Also, I'm sorry. I'm really trying to find this lady that got caught in a. Like, a dust devil when it was on, and she didn't give a. Like, she got caught in, like, a little like situation and it's on video.

[Kai]

And she's like, no, I was gonna say my mom literally, that happened to her when she was young and she tells me this story and it like literally makes me cry laughing. She like saw like a violent dust devil. Probably like 40 or 50 miles per hour and I was like a six year old kid, just was like, I'm gonna run into it. She ran and stood in the middle of it and she was like. Like, it was the worst five seconds of my life. Like, my eyes were full of dust. Like rocks and debris were hitting me. My face or my hair was like whipping across my face. And like I had like lines from where my like hair whipped so fast across my face that it left like marks and like just makes me cry laughing. Like my mom like being like, oh fuck, fuck.

[Drew]

Help.

[Kai]

Fuck.

[Drew]

Dude. You know what I want to do? Like, we need to find.

[Kai]

No, we don't. I'm telling you right now. We literally.

[Drew]

They're actually like, realistically, there's nothing left to find. Like, I don't want to find anything else, but I do need to go to like an arcade where you get in that machine and you have to like grab tickets.

[Kai]

Oh, I need to do that. Like Chuck E. Cheese. Like tornado machine. Yeah, I got invited to the opening of a new Chuck E. Cheese.

[Drew]

Really?

[Kai]

No.

[Drew]

Oh, like I'm now me interested.

[Kai]

You should go.

[Drew]

Like, I realized I'm like, damn.

[Kai]

I know this is old news. Like, this is very, very, very, very old news. They banned poppers.

[Drew]

Like, wait, what?

[Kai]

Poppers are gone. Like the company that made poppers in America literally got shut down by the fda.

[Drew]

Wait, what?

[Kai]

Yes.

[Drew]

Oh, but puff bars are still here.

[Kai]

Yeah, exactly.

[Drew]

Oh, oh, okay.

[Kai]

They took the VCR cleaner away from us.

[Drew]

Yeah, I'm not, I'm not even kidding. I actually can't believe.

[Orion]

Why did they take the vcr? People were just cleaning because Troy salon.

[Drew]

Sang about it and. Oh God, forb. People get to sing about the things we love. Like, well, no.

[Kai]

Kai Popper's like, open your butthole up.

[Orion]

What? What? Who's doing that?

[Drew]

He's so amazing. They got away with being claimed as like VCR cleaner for so long. Ho. What?

[Kai]

Like, no, it's been like 25 years. Like jungle chase.

[Drew]

I remember at one point it said like nail varnish or something or like some one that I bought and that kind of scared because I was like, okay, this is kind of putting into perspective that I'm just huffing.

[Kai]

Like we really did have like a.

[Drew]

Popper'S arc dude, I was addicted to.

[Kai]

And it was, like, laying, like, bed.

[Drew]

No going around it. I have an extremely addictive personality.

[Kai]

And, like, she had it on her bedside table, and she'd, like, wake up first thing in the morning and hit her poppers.

[Drew]

And that was before I even, like, smoked cigarettes or puff bars. Like, instead of a puff bar, I just was. I had poppers for, like, three months. But then it left me with, like, I have, like, nauseating migraines now, like, all the time.

[Orion]

Really. Have we talked about exploding head syndrome?

[Kai]

No. I mean, kinda like, we talked about, like, when I fall asleep, I hear explosions.

[Orion]

Oh, yeah, I guess we have talked about.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Orion]

But it happened to my roommate's girlfriend. She, like, ran out of the room and she was like, what's going on? And I was like, I'm pretty sure you're just experiencing exploding head syndrome, which you can literally Google, which is fucking insane.

[Kai]

So weird. Like, when I'm, like, literally when I'm falling asleep, I haven't actually, now that I think about it, had it and in so long. But, like, I will literally hear people whispering my names, like, in the corner of my room. Like, I'll hear, like, it'll be like, true, true. And then I'll hear, like, inya. Like, or not Inya, but, like, a voice down the hall. Like, yell my name. And I'll, like, wake up and be like, what? And then I'll hear, like, car wrecks and explosions in my head. Like, I'll be like, literally, look out my eye.

[Drew]

It's insane. See, I don't have that. But also, I don't have that because I kind of rarely fall asleep without watching something. I. I, like, I can't fall asleep without watching something because if I close my eyes, I will just start, like, doom prepping for the next day and, like. Like, just like, making a list, which I guess I. We should start journaling again. Because usually when I journal, I, at some point in that, will just write out things I feel like. Like, I have to do. And a lot of them are, like, fake things because I'm just, like, anxious to make myself anxious, and that helps. But, like, bro, for the most part, I'm throwing on a man who's making physics in his basement, and I'm gonna learn how the dams are made and why they're important and when they collapse and why it's devastating and it's gonna be cool. And, like, am I gonna retain all the information? No. Now.

[Orion]

But I wanted to say this is, like, kind of random. But I never. I never really go hard for Halloween, and I. I think this year, I really want to do something special.

[Drew]

I will literally tap in with you.

[Kai]

You know, pop out with a boner, go hard.

[Orion]

No, no. I think what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna be poop baby. Remember that video of the guy and he walks in, there's, like, a baby on the counter, it's covered in poop.

[Kai]

And it's like, those peanut butter babies, baby. What wasn't poop baby. It was peanut butter baby.

[Drew]

Yeah. What are you talking about? Also, like, you, like, had me, and then you completely lost me. And, like, now. Now you're back. I was trying to be nice to you. Now you're back.

[Kai]

You're. You're gonna walk around.

[Orion]

I thought that was poop baby.

[Kai]

Poop all over you.

[Orion]

Ah. Like, ah. Get the poop off.

[Kai]

You do kind of look like that, baby.

[Orion]

Stop. Thank you.

[Kai]

Yeah. You also kind of give. I want to start doing that Andy Kaufman.

[Orion]

Oh, I don't know if I love that.

[Kai]

No, you'll have the same eyes. He has, like, sweet, scary eyes.

[Orion]

I have sweet.

[Drew]

And it's the eyes and the eyebrows.

[Orion]

Okay, I'll take that.

[Drew]

I watched the movie Secretary, and it really is just 50 shades of gray. If it was good and, like, people were.

[Kai]

Is that the one with the robot girlfriend that, like, burns her hand on a candle?

[Drew]

No, no, that's a companion, which I actually did see, and it was like, so. It was, like, funny.

[Kai]

I want to see that movie.

[Drew]

Yeah, it was good.

[Orion]

Wait. Secretary's actually good.

[Drew]

Dude, Secretary is so good. But I will say it's the horniest movie I've ever seen.

[Orion]

I want to watch a good, horny movie.

[Drew]

It's. No, it's amazing because I like.

[Kai]

Do you want to make a horn movie?

[Orion]

Yes.

[Drew]

Ew. I like Baby Girl, and I still with it because I'm like, I like a movie with kind of no reason other than the fact that, like, they're horny, and I'm like, purr. Like, that's fun, because I'm a perv. I don't know. But secretary is like, dude. It's so crazy. Also, like, performance of a lifetime from Mrs. Like, what's her name? Jane Goodall. She has some crazy name. Not Jane Goodall is the lady. I'm. No, I'm sorry.

[Kai]

Jane Goodall is having sex in a movie.

[Drew]

Not Jane Goodall. She has. Elsie kept saying her name to me, and I was like, who are you? I don't know her name. And then I looked into it, I was like, oh my God, she's been in so many movies I with and so many movies that are on my watch list. And she did this movie when she was 22, but I don't.

[Orion]

Is that I can. Is that Maggie Gyllenhaal?

[Drew]

Maggie Gyllenhaal.

[Kai]

Jane Goodall.

[Orion]

Jane Goodall. Who is Jen?

[Kai]

Did she work that girl that like lived in. Yeah, lived in the jungle.

[Drew]

And she was like a scientist.

[Orion]

Her pivot to like very horny.

[Drew]

Which would be kind, like sounds fun. I would be like, yes. I like love that.

[Orion]

The last time I watched 50 Shades of Gray, I was like, this is really funny and very fun to watch, but I do wish it was like an actual good movie.

[Drew]

Well, that's what secretary is. Hey guys, we want to take a quick break to thank one of today's sponsors, zocdoc. Zocdoc.

[Kai]

Zocdoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors and click to instantly book appointments.

[Drew]

I did not grow up going to the doctor very often, so once I was an adult, I had no idea how to find one. And before we were Even engaged with ZocDoc, I was already on that app. I. I'm gonna be honest, I don't remember how I found it. I think I might have found from online, but now it is the only way I see doctors. Because it's easy, it's quick. I know I'm gonna get my problem solved and I don't have to really think too much about it.

[Kai]

Yeah, I booked all of my dentist appointments on zocdoc and my teeth are falling out of my skull from the acid reflux that I had when I was a child. So rebuilding my mouth has been very difficult. But I will have a mouth soon that will be of use in a lot of ways, not just for eating. Stop putting off those doctor appointments and go to Zocdoc.comIntercom to find and instantly book a top rated doctor. Today. That's Z O c d o c.com intercom zocdoc.com intercom.

[Drew]

McDonald's meets the Minecraft universe with one of six collectibles and your choice of a Big Mac or 10 piece McNuggets with spicy nether Flame sauce.

[Kai]

Now available with a Minecraft Moon movie meal.

[Drew]

I participate in McDonald's for a limited time, a Minecraft movie only in theaters. Wow, this house is cute. But can I really get in the game in this economy? I do have savings And I am responsible.

[Kai]

Ish.

[Orion]

I should bury it.

[Drew]

I'm being wild. But what if I'm not being wild, though? Could I actually score a kick off your home buying journey with Zillow's new buyability tool? It makes it easy to find out what you can afford for it so you can get off the bench and onto the playing field with confidence. Check your buyability only on Zillow.

[Kai]

Would y'all break up with your boyfriend if you found out he could do the splits?

[Drew]

Oh, honestly, no. That would, like, really make me laugh. That would make me laugh a lot. Like, but it just, like, would y'all.

[Kai]

Break up with your boyfriend if you found out he could do the splits?

[Drew]

Like, well, no, If I found out way later. Yes.

[Kai]

Yes.

[Drew]

Unless it was like, to me, I'm like, because what you could do a.

[Kai]

You'd be. You'd be swooned by it.

[Drew]

No. Yeah, because I'd be like, that. Dude, that's hilarious. Like, because I wish I could do a flip or a backflip. I would really love to learn how to do some sort of flip. And I. I've thought about learning to do the splits because imagine just me being drunk as at a party and dancing and doing a split.

[Kai]

I want to secretly learn it and then just, like, bring everyone into the living room and be like, guys, watch this. And then just do the split.

[Drew]

See, if that was the scenario this happen happened, I'd be like, girl, I don't even believe in marriage. Like, but you literally, you've brought magic back into the world.

[Kai]

Yeah. I don't think I would break up with my boyfriend if I found out.

[Drew]

Can you learn to do the splits? For me?

[Kai]

I'm, like, pretty close. I'm, like, really flexible.

[Drew]

I'm just. I'm flexible. But for some reason, the splits. You know what it is, is because I just think of my skin tearing, and it's always been a thing in my head, which. The more I talk about things like that, the more it is, like, I.

[Orion]

Think about my balls tearing, doing the splits.

[Drew]

Ew.

[Kai]

Come on.

[Drew]

Like, don't even mention that. Like, don't even mention that.

[Kai]

The. Between, like, the taint area.

[Orion]

Yeah. The seam.

[Kai]

Yeah. What is it, the pregnancy stitch or the husband stitch?

[Orion]

Because, like, it's definitely not the husband stitch.

[Kai]

No, like, when. When girls give birth, they're like, tear down.

[Orion]

That is the husband.

[Kai]

It's like, we would have to get the husband stuff.

[Drew]

No, wait, it's not taint, because there's, like, two words for it.

[Kai]

It gooch and taint gooch.

[Drew]

No. What?

[Kai]

Perennium Ludal cycle. Also, tea is, like, everybody's been using, like, what's that? Oil? Or the. The beef. Beef tallow as moisturizer. Like, first of all, don't stop putting meat on your face. But I've been using gooch green. Like, just scraping it from the gooch and just, like, putting it on my face as a moisturizer. And it's literally.

[Drew]

I thought you were gonna say using in your mustache.

[Kai]

No, no, I've been using it as a moisturizer.

[Orion]

Does that work?

[Kai]

No, I think it's, like, breaking my skin out. But it's like a purge era. Okay, well, I made a list of 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 things that if someone cheated on you, someone hurt you in a really bad way, that you were dating, someone broke up with you, and you really want to ruin their life. But, like, not in, like, a crazy way. I think I feel like these are things that you could do to someone that would get under their skin and drive them absolutely bananas. Like, batshit crazy insane. Because they'd never find out. They'd never find out if someone hurts you. Put shrimp in their shower rod or sew them into their curtains like little baby shrimps in the bottom of the curtain so they rot over time and smell bad. Crack eggs into their heat and heater vent. Like, if they have floor vents, like, crack an egg into it or put.

[Drew]

A boiled egg in there.

[Kai]

Yeah, exactly. Pour oil down the windows of his car.

[Drew]

It's so stupid.

[Kai]

Put chia seeds in his drain.

[Drew]

Oh, in my head, I was like, oh, that'd be cute, though. But I was like, dude, oh, that's really good.

[Orion]

Because they expand, right?

[Kai]

And they'd also sprout and they would.

[Drew]

Be like, oh, but then what if he, like, becomes the guy who, like, posts on his TikTok with, like, a random, like, like, sweet song, and he's.

[Orion]

Like, life finds a way.

[Drew]

Yeah. Like, like, nature will always grow. Like, I will always grow. Like. Or some shit like that. And then he goes viral, and then he gets, like, so much play from it.

[Kai]

Get a spray bottle and fill it with milk and spray everything in his house. Like, you know, the fine mister, like, spray bottles we have for our hair? Like, dusting everything in milk. Oh, hell, in two to three days, it would smell so good.

[Orion]

That's really good.

[Kai]

Yeah, so there's a few little, little things that you could do to people you don't like. Oh, also, this is the craziest thing ever. I'VE been keeping tabs on all of the women in my life. All of them, no matter the age. I've been keeping tabs on them for this one specific reason. Every single girl in my life is complaining that they're balding. I'm not joking. Every single one.

[Drew]

It's the Internet. Literally. It's literally the Internet. I, like, I've been thinking about it so much. I'm like, y'all are gonna make me the kind of bat, like, natural only, like, literally, which is no shampoo. Like, I'm not kidding. I'm like, I'm not doing this game anymore because I now think I'm balding. And it's because, like, men balding has become such a big topic online. And then that transferred into women seeing that, I think, and being like, wait, am I, like, losing hair? And the minoxidil thing, it's also, don't.

[Kai]

Put minoxidil on you because Azul will lick it off and die. Why it's so bad for cats.

[Drew]

No, I'm not kidding.

[Kai]

I, like, also, I feel like minoxidil on women, like, is not a good thing. I don't know, though.

[Drew]

Yeah, I. I don't know. I haven't looked into it because I remember I was talking to somebody about it, and it might have been you. And you were like. Because I know their side effects for men. And you were like, you should look into the side effects for women. And I don't want to do, like, when it comes to beauty. And I can't lie. Like, I'm not going that far. Like, I'm not. Like, if. If there's, like, running through the airport, oh, my God. If it's side effects like that, I'll bald. Like, if I'm. If I'm supposed to bald, I guess I'll bald and I'll have, like, a shaved head. Like, Chenad O'Connor was a G and she had a shaved head. And, like, people like, she was gorgeous.

[Kai]

My wife's name out of the mouth.

[Drew]

You're gay. Like, you're gay. I don't understand. Dude. Did you know that they're going to start dumb.

[Kai]

Oh.

[Drew]

Yeah. If I'm supposed to bald, I'm supposed to bald because that's how I feel about my boobs. Like, when I started running, I lost weight and my boobs deflated, which was always a dream. I've always complained about my boobs. I feel so good about my boobs now. Other than the fact that they look like the tits of the woman from Barbarian. And I had to really come to terms with that. And that's.

[Kai]

I've seen your boobs. Boobs so much recently.

[Drew]

No, I've been embracing like recently. I'm like, I am just letting, I am letting this idea that because I'm in a field now where I can have that like perfection I should just do it because like really is like. And I don't have any gripes about it because I have a lot of friends actually who have had like breast reductions and like work. Like I know people with work done and I have no gripes about it. But for me personally I'm just like, I don't know if I care that much. Like I just don't cuz I kind of. I'm like, I'm really pretty actually. Like I'm like it's fine. Like, but I feel like everyone should hit that. Like I don't know. Like. Yeah.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Oh my God. I forgot what I was wearing the other day. Oh, I was wearing a bathing suit the other day and my boobs are at the point where they like fold over. Like if I wanted to I could literally roll my boob up like a joint roll up.

[Orion]

Like I could like sprinkling Keef on your boob.

[Drew]

Yeah. Like I could literally like some wax.

[Kai]

In there making a mega joint if.

[Drew]

I put on a push up bra.

[Kai]

Push up.

[Drew]

It's a lot. My boobs were way bigger. They were huge. Like I didn't really know how big my boobs.

[Kai]

You had really big knockers and I.

[Drew]

Kind of miss them. But like that's like, that's the whole thing. I think that's what it was is like I lost my boobs. I was really happy. But now I find myself every now and then being like damn, I kind of wish my boobs were like a little bigger or something. I'm like, oh no, no, no. See there's no winning and I'm not gonna pay. I'm not gonna pay to like get in the cycle of like I need it.

[Kai]

Oh.

[Drew]

I got told I had low density breast. That's what spiraled my really like crazy boob.

[Orion]

Who told you that?

[Drew]

That I went to a bra store because I needed new bras and the woman was actually really helpful and really sweet and she didn't mean this in a mean way. And she hooked me the up cuz she gave me bras that are like perfect. But it cracked me up cuz I was like I can't believe I'm paying for a woman I don't know. To stand over my shoulder looking in a mirror with me topless in like a bra that's transparent. And she's like fixing the straps and stuff. And she's like, like telling me how to adjust my boobs. And she's like, yeah, you're gonna have to do that because if you don't, like, you have low breath, you have low density breasts. So like, you're gonna have to adjust them. But they looked like. But she was being complimented. Like she was complimenting me. But the term low density breasts, I was like, we don't.

[Kai]

All this boob talk makes me have a big boner.

[Orion]

Do you have a high density penis? Dude, have you tried.

[Kai]

No, I have low density pee. Yeah, it's really low density. Drew psy up corner. Hate when ugly be like, no caption needed. You better explain this. You better explain this one. Soon as 10:30am Hit the McDonald's, workers shove all the breakfast up their ass. Where did it go? I know, I know. You'll have it back there still. Y'all shivering in this cold weather. Cuz them shein jackets are made out of paper towels. If you have they them in your bio, I will not be arguing with you. I'm clearly outnumbered. Yeah, I'm. I'm. I will never argue with anybody with did. Outnumbered as fuck. This one's so good. There aren't any more squirrels outside. Now all of a sudden Taco Bell sells wings? Something's not right because those wings from Taco Bell are really small. Like squirrel.

[Drew]

I like, I haven't had the wings from Taco Bell. Why have you had the wings from Taco Bell?

[Kai]

Because I try everything that's new.

[Orion]

Because he watches the TED talks of fast food companies?

[Kai]

No, I love new things. I love trying new things.

[Drew]

Like, I know you really do.

[Kai]

Like, I wanted the fucking dirty Mountain Dew Baja Blast so badly.

[Drew]

What is that?

[Kai]

It's a Mountain Dew Baja Blast with cream in it. Like, hella.

[Orion]

Oh, that sounds really nice.

[Drew]

It being like. I just think of the way those drinks look when they sit out and like the.

[Kai]

The curdling effect, the curdling of.

[Drew]

But there's not real cream in it. It has to be like artificial.

[Kai]

Like I think it's. It's cream. I don't know. It's either cream or it's cream.

[Drew]

Cream. The way you say cream is so funny.

[Kai]

Cream.

[Drew]

Cream.

[Kai]

Cream. It's cream.

[Drew]

Cream.

[Kai]

I'll do one more.

[Drew]

You know what's crazy is I'm watching him look at this. And it's five words well, I'm trying.

[Kai]

To figure it out. First day as a pilot. The wet pit.

[Drew]

Oh, you idiot.

[Kai]

Cockpit. That was from at Male.

[Drew]

I'm trying to figure it out.

[Kai]

Cali Miller submitted those.

[Drew]

Oh, that was amazing.

[Kai]

And then Shelby Claire submitted the McDonald's one. And then Blake Bennett has just been on a tear recently.

[Orion]

Shout out Blake Bennett. Being on it.

[Kai]

Shout out Blake Bennett.

[Drew]

And that's Benson Boone's brother.

[Kai]

Yeah. Lyrical lemonade.

[Orion]

I did not know that Benson Boone was a real guy. I thought that was a, like, a funny name that people were saying.

[Kai]

Figure out who that was.

[Drew]

Oh, is the guy who did a backflip and has crazy vocal range.

[Kai]

Yeah, no, he's actually really talented.

[Drew]

Yeah, he's, like, a really good vocalist, but it's kind of like Charlie Puth. Like, I'm like, yes, you are, like, so good. There's no question about your craft. But, like, like, what a backflip.

[Orion]

Also coming from someone named Kai. Your name's not real. Benson Boone is not a real name. I get to speak on that because I also don't have a real name.

[Drew]

Benson. Boom. Sounds like Ben 10. Like, it'd be like Ben 10's real name. Yeah, like in the cartoon Ben 10. His real name is Benson, but boom.

[Kai]

Benson Boone. More like boom.

[Drew]

Boom.

[Kai]

Five.

[Drew]

That was for you guys.

[Kai]

Five big boons. Benson Boone. More like Vincent Poon Nanny. I'm gonna eat all that.

[Drew]

Ew.

[Kai]

Oh, no. I'm the bad guy now. I'm the bad guy.

[Drew]

Okay. I actually. This is something I'm curious about.

[Kai]

These beautiful teas that I got, buddy.

[Drew]

Whoa. You, you, You.

[Kai]

That was really deep cut.

[Drew]

I know you. What was I say? Oh, I'm actually curious, like, because I know there's. The bush is, like, a huge conversation right now. Blah, blah, blah.

[Kai]

The bush is back in a big way.

[Drew]

The bush never left the bush.

[Kai]

Never left the bush.

[Drew]

Like, Like, I've.

[Kai]

I've had a bush for the, like, since I was nine years old.

[Orion]

That's weird.

[Kai]

Since I was seven years old.

[Drew]

But basically, I know there's girls who have lasered their bush and now, like, they maybe have regrets about it. I'm curious if there's men who, like, lasered their bush and they're like, I regret that 100%.

[Kai]

And I know they're, like, kind of. They have, like, leather skin. Like, they tan a lot. It's like, those guys.

[Orion]

Oh, yeah. They're getting their. Their bikini lines.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Oh, I guess. Yeah, that is. It's. It would be, like, kind of maybe Somebody who's like, really? With this.

[Kai]

This part of their neck up is covered in freckles and is red.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

And they wear glasses that have like a string around the back. So if they fall off, it goes around their neck.

[Drew]

You know what? I might get something like that though, because I. I leave my glasses everywhere when I'm wearing my glasses. Glasses. I'll take them off because when I'm. What's it? I'm like. Nearsighted. Yeah, I'm nearsighted. So if I'm like talking this.

[Kai]

You're near sighted. I'm beer sighted. Can I pick this up?

[Drew]

That was your.

[Kai]

Arch it a little more. What do you say?

[Orion]

Thank you, daddy.

[Kai]

Yes. Yes. Yes. What? No.

[Orion]

Yes. Oh. Did you know it's the one year anniversary for the Chow Main video?

[Kai]

Which one?

[Drew]

What?

[Orion]

You remember the one. Wait, let me pull this up.

[Drew]

Also, it's not only because I don't want to embarrass myself, but it was because I don't wanna. I don't want to give the driver PTSD and think they've harmed me as well. So everyone wins in this situation.

[Kai]

If I got hit by a car.

[Drew]

Never mind. Oh, dude, I have a migraine.

[Kai]

I know, Me too. I have like bad temple headache.

[Orion]

Okay, okay.

[Kai]

Who has the best girlfriend ever? I do.

[Drew]

Who just bought you all this stuff?

[Kai]

She did. And all the stuff.

[Orion]

My girl. And all of it.

[Kai]

And I'm about to eat this and.

[Drew]

Then we're gonna chow on that after.

[Kai]

I used to feel bad for him.

[Drew]

Happy Stu. Yeah, but we're not eating it all.

[Kai]

Just know that.

[Drew]

Cuz we gotta save some. Yeah.

[Kai]

Yes, ma'am.

[Drew]

Budget cuts, you know.

[Kai]

Save, save, save.

[Drew]

I fear this is me. Like, that's.

[Kai]

No, you're her and I'm him. I used to feel bad for him, but there's like a power dynamic there that they both love.

[Orion]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Deeply.

[Drew]

It works.

[Orion]

Something about that is pretty nice. I'm not gonna lie.

[Kai]

I know. Like, I want to kind of be like yelled at.

[Drew]

Y'all are disgusting.

[Kai]

No, I've always said. I've been saying that recently. I want a toxic relationship. No, I don't. Okay. Should we do a little media vibe?

[Drew]

Oh, yes. Okay. I already said secretary, so.

[Kai]

I saw Aaron Brockovich. Or I rewatched Aaron Brockovich. Very great. I watched Conclave as well. That was an iconic moment in time.

[Drew]

I watched Companion. Actually, that's one of the movies I watched Companion. What was the other one we were talking about?

[Kai]

Secretary.

[Drew]

Yeah, Secretary. I think I watched like a. A Horny movie the night before, too. Dude, remember one time you kept me hostage watching that dumbass movie because you said you were listening to it like a podcast.

[Kai]

I did that, too, recently.

[Drew]

That's funny. White Lotus, I'm trying to think of. Yeah, I tried to watch To Die for again. What was the other movie? Oh, my God.

[Kai]

You search for it. Still life by 100 tricks point never textures by Herbie Hancock, Halcyon, and On and on by Orbital. And then I've been listening to Flow by Philip Glass, literally on repeat in the craziest way. Like, literally over and over. And I never do that with music. That song has been on repeat. I feel like that is, like, the encapsulation of my life and every relationship I've ever built.

[Drew]

Oh, yeah. That song is so sweet.

[Kai]

Love that song so much. I think it's perfect.

[Drew]

I fucking love music. That's how I feel.

[Kai]

Music is so goated.

[Drew]

Music is life.

[Kai]

Wait, why is music literally the goat?

[Drew]

Well, I have been listening to Glock by Don Toliver, this is My Life by Shirley Bassey, and the 454 album, but I've been listening to that already for, like, two months. Cast of a Dreamer, trying to see what else. I've actually been listening to a lot of music. Is this what you Wanted by Leonard Cohen? Leonard Cohen. I can't say people's names. I'm sorry. Like, seriously, don't. Like, don't hit me. Don't hit me. And I've been listening to a lot of Donna Summer, and. Yeah.

[Orion]

That'S, like, when you do that face, it. It looks like if you were in, like, a Madame Tussaud museum.

[Kai]

It feels like I had a pacifier on for too long. Like, I had a pacifier till I was, like, 7 years old, which.

[Drew]

I'm not good at doing. Like, the. The.

[Kai]

Yeah, you are. Don't act like you're not.

[Drew]

That's why. Don't act like you can't do that face anymore. Funny faces are so funny.

[Kai]

I love funny faces. And I love poop jokes.

[Drew]

That's why Jim Carrey is the goat. He was a silly little guy.

[Kai]

I feel like I literally am like, the Jim Carrey of our generation.

[Orion]

I agree.

[Drew]

Jim Carrey could do the podcast, but could you be the mask?

[Kai]

Yes.

[Drew]

Could you be.

[Kai]

I could do the mask, but could Jim Carrey do the podcast? Let's have that.

[Orion]

Oh, yeah.

[Drew]

I actually didn't think about it the other way. Yeah, right. Okay. I have a really bad migraine, so, like.

[Kai]

Yeah. Thank you for watching.

[Drew]

Bye. It.