episode one hundred and eighty six

Summary

Emergency Intercom – Episode 186 Summary

Host/Authors: Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips
Release Date: April 4, 2025
Description: Emergency Intercom is a comedy podcast where Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips engage in humorous and candid conversations about their lives, experiences, and random topics. In Episode 186, titled "Hangovers, Heroes, and Hysterics," the hosts delve into personal stories, societal observations, and lighthearted banter, offering listeners a blend of laughter and heartfelt moments.

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1. Sobriety and Personal Experiences with Alcohol ([01:43] - [02:56])

The episode kicks off with Drew and Kai discussing their experiences with hangovers and sobriety. Kai mentions, “[01:48] I haven't been hungover in probably like five years, four years,” highlighting their journey towards reducing alcohol consumption.

Notable Quote:

Drew ([02:51]): "It was darkness. I was screaming in my head. Please call an ambulance."

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2. Reflections on Youth and Aging ([02:57] - [04:33])

Drew reflects on meeting younger individuals, expressing a sense of nostalgia and the challenges of aging. He remarks, “[03:43] It's insane. I was like, wow, you are like, you're young to me,” emphasizing how his perception of age affects his interactions.

Notable Quote:

Drew ([03:43]): "I think now when I meet a 21-year-old or a 22-year-old, I genuinely look at them and I'm like, wow, you are like, you're young to me."

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3. Streaming and Entertainment Preferences ([04:33] - [05:23])

The conversation shifts to entertainment, where Drew discusses his preference for YouTube channels that help him unwind. He mentions, “[04:33] I have like two guys in mind who I don't know off the top of the head, but they're the people who I watch to fall asleep.”

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4. Life-Saving Anecdotes and Impact ([07:00] - [08:00])

Kai shares a profound personal story about saving a friend from a suicide attempt. He recounts, “[07:00] The kid that I saved from killing himself… I saved his life,” detailing the emotional gravity of the experience.

Notable Quote:

Kai ([07:44]): "I saved his life."

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5. YouTube and Educational Content ([05:23] - [08:20])

Drew and Orion discuss educational YouTube channels like Niall Chemist and Chris Angel, blending humor with admiration for these creators. Drew reminisces, “[05:23] It's what I thought high school was going to be because he does demonstrations of physics… like bridges, dams.”

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6. Technology and Internet Discussion ([15:44] - [17:13])

The trio delves into technology, particularly the differences between Samsung and Apple devices. Drew laments storage issues, “[15:44] I can't walk across a bridge or anything… Because I used to think I was gonna die in a car crash,” and discusses the theoretical limits of internet capacity.

Notable Quote:

Drew ([16:14]): "From rocks into a version of glass. And they etch rocks into circuitry onto it."

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7. Celebrity Interactions and Music Preferences ([17:37] - [25:00])

Orion shares experiences from attending a Role Model concert and interacting with fans mistaking him for a rapper. The conversation also touches on synesthesia, with Orion asking, “[17:54] What's Color and shape is a Benson Boone song?”

Notable Quote:

Orion ([21:00]): "It's like a paint splatter. A neon delta paint splatter."

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8. Fears and Lucid Dreaming ([30:03] - [35:00])

The hosts discuss fears related to heights and past-life experiences. Orion recounts a vivid lucid dream, “[28:06] I woke up in my parents' bathroom on fire,” and Drew shares his apprehensions about skydiving and falling from tall structures.

Notable Quote:

Kai ([30:20]): "I know what it feels like to be stabbed because I was killed in a past life by a knife."

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9. Substance Use and Health Concerns ([32:36] - [35:00])

Kai and Drew delve into the topic of poppers, discussing FDA bans and their effects. Kai humorously comments, “[33:02] They took the VCR cleaner away from us,” highlighting the absurdity of labeling poppers as household cleaners.

Notable Quote:

Kai ([33:02]): "They took the VCR cleaner away from us."

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10. Body Image and Personal Relationships ([38:52] - [47:27])

The conversation shifts to body image, with Drew discussing his experiences with breast reduction and body acceptance. He states, “[47:32] I feel so good about my boobs now,” reflecting his journey towards self-acceptance.

Notable Quote:

Drew ([47:27]): "I am letting this idea that because I'm in a field now where I can have that, like, perfection, I should just do it."

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11. Movies and Media Talk ([37:10] - [38:52])

Drew and Orion talk about movies like "Secretary," comparing it to "50 Shades of Grey." They express appreciation for "Secretary" as a more authentic depiction of relationships and sexuality.

Notable Quote:

Drew ([37:10]): "Secretary is so good. But I will say it's the horniest movie I've ever seen."

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12. Relationships and Toxicity ([55:00] - [55:44])

A brief discussion on the desire for toxic relationships before debating its merits. Drew admits, “[55:44] I want a toxic relationship. No, I don't.”

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13. Humor and Banter (Throughout)

Throughout the episode, Enya and Drew engage in playful and humorous exchanges, touching on a variety of lighthearted and sometimes risqué topics. Their camaraderie and quick-witted remarks add a layer of entertainment, making the conversation dynamic and relatable.

Notable Quote:

Kai ([40:03]): "I have low density penis."

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Conclusion

Episode 186 of Emergency Intercom offers a rich tapestry of conversations ranging from deep personal experiences to lighthearted humor. Enya, Drew, and Orion navigate topics such as sobriety, life-saving moments, technology frustrations, body image, and the quirks of modern life with honesty and humor. Notable moments include Kai’s heroic act of saving a friend, Drew’s reflections on aging and body image, and the trio’s shared love for unconventional YouTube content. Their candid discussions provide both laughter and poignant insights, making this episode a compelling listen for both regular fans and newcomers alike.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Drew ([02:51]): "It was darkness. I was screaming in my head. Please call an ambulance."
• Kai ([07:44]): "I saved his life."
• Drew ([16:14]): "From rocks into a version of glass. And they etch rocks into circuitry onto it."
• Orion ([21:00]): "It's like a paint splatter. A neon delta paint splatter."
• Kai ([33:02]): "They took the VCR cleaner away from us."
• Drew ([37:10]): "Secretary is so good. But I will say it's the horniest movie I've ever seen."
• Drew ([47:27]): "I am letting this idea that because I'm in a field now where I can have that, like, perfection, I should just do it."
• Kai ([40:03]): "I have low density penis."

These quotes encapsulate the episode's blend of serious reflections and humorous banter, providing a glimpse into the hosts' dynamic interactions.

Transcript

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[Drew]

You haven't been hungover in like a long time or no?

[Kai]

No, I haven't been hungover in probably like five years, four years.

[Drew]

So insane because I'm with Kai. Like my last like hangover was like a year ago at this point that's also a complete lie. I was like, I've been on my medicine since August. So like before then I think actually right before I got the last the call I had with my psychiatrist when he prescribed Prozac. I was suffering the worst hangover. Like because the night before I had so much so many drinks like hanging out with Orion and I kind of was like so happy to hear that I couldn't drink anymore because I was like thank God. Because I to me now like, or even at that point too many drinks was I had four drinks within the span of like four hours and I think I had like half or a sip of the fifth drink and I was like and I ate a big meal and like drank a bunch of water and had electrolytes before I went to sleep and I still woke up like.

[Orion]

Was was definitively the last time you drank the Sidewalk thing?

[Kai]

I think so.

[Drew]

I think, I think that was it.

[Kai]

That was like the last time I like drank. Drank like what.

[Orion]

What did you experience when you were like passed out or was it just like completely.

[Drew]

It was darkness.

[Kai]

I was screaming in my head. I've said this a billion times. I was literally screaming like call an ambulance. Like please.

[Drew]

I was like fully lucid in. You were saying that like you felt like you couldn't even like project. Now looking back at that, it is insane. And I'm like, holy shit. That's why now when I meet a 21 year old or a 22 year old, it sounds like such an annoying old head thing to say. But I genuinely look at them and I'm like, wow, you are like, you're young to me. Because I look at me at 21 and I'm like, oh my God. Because now as an adult I'd be like fudgeing. Call an ambulance.

[Orion]

Like I'm still, I feel still very young. I feel like I still have growing pains when I go to sleep.

[Drew]

Oh no, literally, I, Yeah, I think.

[Orion]

Well, I'm only 30, so I feel like there's still some growing.

[Drew]

No, I'm not kidding. I'm like the last year I have felt like a teenager in a way. I can't describe it. I'm like, Jesus Christ. Like, I'm like, oh my God. I thought. I remember at 22 I have a tick tock somewhere where it was like me being like, I can feel, I feel my age now 22. Or like I have some dramatic.

[Kai]

It was 25.

[Drew]

No, that. Because 25 is actually when I was like, that was, I was like, oh God. And that's when I started to feel like a teenager again. And I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wow. Like the year before that I was like, I am so I've got it figured out. And then it just.

[Orion]

Well, I, I still buy shoes that are a little bit too big cuz I'm going to grow into them because.

[Kai]

They'Re full of sand.

[Drew]

So he can have a sand pocket. You lowkey should do that. You should find one of those YouTube engineers. And like I have like two guys in mind who I don't know off the top of the head, but they're the people who I watch to fall asleep. Which actually sounds crazy, but I can get through like two videos and buy the third one I'm like. Because they have really good voices. Do you know who I'm talking about? I've talked to you about him. One of These guys is, like, in his basement, he has a huge studio where he just does, like. It's what I thought high school was going to be because he does demonstrations of physics to, like, help explain how things are made. Like, bridges, dams, how they do, like, garbage sites, how that works and all that. And I'm like, oh, okay. Visual learner.

[Orion]

Wait, is that Nile Red?

[Kai]

No, I love Niall Chemist.

[Drew]

Right?

[Orion]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Drew]

Oh, I go with him. Freaky ass channel.

[Orion]

Turn up Snickers into, like, alcohol or something.

[Kai]

He'll turn a chocolate chip cookie into gold.

[Drew]

Like, I was thinking earlier, because you showed me that ass video of Criss Angel.

[Kai]

Like, oh, that's my dream. Here, let me show you.

[Drew]

You have to show guy. Like, this was what I opened my eyes to this morning, by the way. Like, I woke up and Drew came into my room, and this is the first thing he showed me.

[Kai]

Like, I want to do this so bad.

[Drew]

Oh, it would make me so happy at this point. Okay, wait, what.

[Kai]

How do you spell his name?

[Orion]

Nylah?

[Drew]

I think it's like, oh, Chris Angel. C, H, R, I, S. Or he's some freaky. And it's C, R, I S. Like, Christina.

[Kai]

Chris Angel. Instagram mind freak.

[Drew]

You know, what's up is I was talking to someone about this the other day. I. When that movie, now you see me came out. I don't even want to think about how old I was because I think I was a bit too old to be this obsessed. But I became hyper fixated on magicians and I became hyper fixated on Chris angel. And I, like, that was when YouTube was kind of at its start so you could find clips. So this had to have been, like, maybe 2011. I was maybe 12. So actually, that's a. That is a child as. So I was acting my age at 12. I wanted to be a magician so bad because the.

[Kai]

The kid that I saved from killing himself, like, when I, like, literally took him out of the noose, was obsessed with magic. And I was so jealous that he.

[Drew]

Got this and it wasn't his, like, departing gift. And how you knew he was, like, going away.

[Kai]

Yeah, he. He was like. He started giving away all of items like his, like, Xbox, his PlayStation, like, everything. And he gave me that goddamn magic kit. And I was like, oh, yes. Like, he gave me a magic kit and he's giving me his PS3 next week. Like, yeah, like, this is lit. Turns out he was planning a suicide.

[Drew]

But is it.

[Kai]

But I saved his life. I saved his life.

[Drew]

I was going to say, was it him? On Xbox. That made. You know. But I remember one time you were like, that kid was obsessed with fucking magic. So I started to kind of raise an eyebrow when he gave away the magic kick, because I was like, yeah.

[Kai]

I was like, wait, hold on. Because I was so jealous of that fucking thing. But, yeah, we were in an Xbox party playing Halo, and his, like, departing goodbye felt really off. And I was like. I went and told my mom, and I was like, that. That didn't seem. That didn't seem normal. Like, that would, like, that wasn't a good goodbye. And he lived up the street, and she was like, oh, well, just, like, go check on him. So I went up the street to his house, ran around back, open the back door, because his front door. He wasn't opening the door. And I was like, oh, Fuck. Mind you, 12 years old, maybe 13. And I ran around back and crawled through his, like, brother's bedroom window and, like, went into his room. This was literally hanging. Hanging on by a thread. And he was, like, no shade, like. Like, a little bigger than me. I was like a little baby, like, twinkie kid. And so I, like, had to, like, get up under him and, like, pick him up off of the noose. He's blue.

[Drew]

Oh, my God, Drew, that is so.

[Kai]

Then he begged me not to tell his mom. I didn't tell his mom, but my mom told his mom.

[Drew]

I mean, like, sent away. So sad. But also, like, also, this Criss angel video.

[Kai]

I found it. Blinding lights lost in your eyes Feeling the pressure you and I spending the.

[Drew]

Night like, what about this makes you a magician or a mind freak?

[Orion]

This is what I think about when someone says mind freak. Maybe that does make quite literally a.

[Drew]

Mind freak behavior to keep things in perspective. That video is definitely sped up. It's definitely.

[Kai]

Oh, no, it is. It is.

[Drew]

So imagine. Yeah, Imagine being there, and it's just like.

[Kai]

It's like. Well, he has other ones of him floating around.

[Drew]

Like, that's how long it would take.

[Kai]

To watch him, like, walking down the ladder. He loves this trick. Walking down the ladder.

[Drew]

No. Okay, okay, okay. Can we please see if he's performing soon? Because I'm not kidding. That is the kind of. That I genuinely think will bring me joy. Like, we used to do, like, that. We used to, like, go to the, like, marionette show. American. Oh, yeah, I guess Bob Baker. We used to go to Bob Baker. We used to do, like, stupid. We used to go. Going to the zoo was so fun. Oh, do you know what Bob Baker is? No, It's Was this place that was across the street from the block we lived on. And we used to always just walk around that area, and we always saw it. And then finally we went and it was cool as. Because it's literally just puppeteers.

[Kai]

Puppets.

[Drew]

Like, it's just a puppet show. And I grew up loving the Muppets. I'm like, damn, I need to start doing like that again. Because that's also when I was the happiest recently is when Josh was obsessed with the Muppets and I started watching the Muppets again. Like, their cover of Take Me to Rio is so good.

[Kai]

Have y' all heard the old iPhone alarms, like, recently?

[Drew]

No.

[Kai]

Oh, my God. This is my ringtone.

[Drew]

That really is it. And it's been it since that song was, like, a thing.

[Kai]

Yeah. So people call me that. Or, wait, where is the one that, like, was cracking me the fuck up?

[Drew]

Wow. That song actually, like, really had longevity because there's a fortnite skin with it that. Oh, I need to make mine that right the. Now, Wait.

[Kai]

I remember hearing these for the first time and being like, wow, they're, like, groundbreaking.

[Drew]

And. No, not only that. You know what this is reminding me of? Before, there were, like, apps and. Because I. Me and my siblings shared the first iPhone because we had it. Because the guy.

[Kai]

This one, this one, this one. Who had that as their ringtone, bro.

[Drew]

Also, I know something's wrong with me because I could keep talking in coherent sentences the whole time he's doing Drew.

[Orion]

Just, like, stare off into the distance while pressing each one of those, like, what's like, the orangutan video?

[Kai]

Also, why is a motorcycle.

[Drew]

Bro? It's when they were like, oh, wait, that's when we had true innovators. They were throwing at the wall and seeing if it would stick.

[Kai]

They were this one.

[Drew]

Bro. The meanest we've ever done is one time when Orion was leaving our old apartment.

[Orion]

We were still that one way, dude. The. The, like, Goofy. Yeah.

[Kai]

I hate that one.

[Drew]

You know what's fucked up is that sound just reminds me of the alien skin on Fortnite.

[Orion]

Oh, yeah.

[Drew]

Like, alien sound. Like, that's exactly what an alien looks like. And he's wearing little swim trunks. You already know the freakiest Disney adult you've ever met. Like, she's into it all. She's down, down, down. That's her ringtone.

[Kai]

The, like, the haptic feedbacks on that one are crazy.

[Orion]

Like, I know that shit felt good.

[Kai]

Yeah. No, it's like it's vibrating down. Like, you know when you get a mosquito bite on the clit of your ankle and you. It. That's what the glit of your ankle. Yeah. And you like, itch it and it feels like. It's really like. It's like the greatest feeling of all time.

[Drew]

That was amazing.

[Kai]

That's what it feels like when you're itching the mosquito bite on the clit of your ankle.

[Drew]

No, to me, that's more like a tickle.

[Kai]

Oh. This was my dad's ringtone. Why does this make me sad? Okay. It's not funny.

[Drew]

My dad always had song ringtones. He always, always had song ringtones. And it was fucking awesome. I got. Because my dad and mom, up until like 2015, they were Samsung users. Samsung Loki got smart because isn't that like the top distributor of tech in general?

[Kai]

Like, it's like literally one of the.

[Drew]

Biggest tech companies and they let Apple get away with having Apple users dig on them for so long. And they were like, yeah, yeah. Like, you play your silly games and try to expand your company, but you're like, never going to beat us. And now they just like, kind of whoop their asses with the phone.

[Orion]

I know. I feel like they weaponize the resentment because now Samsung phones are literally. Have you seen what they look like? They're from, like, the year 2015.

[Drew]

No, I literally think I want to switch and you know what's up? I don't give a. I want the one that opens into a huge.

[Kai]

No, that's what I was about to say. There's one that you can open and it's like six screens. Like, you fold it open and it's three screens. Like, it's so ridiculous and I want it so bad also.

[Drew]

Especially because, like, there's so much used. Like, there is so much used. Like, I'm like, I'm just switch off. Because Samsung now is like, I think a competitor in terms of prices. Like iPhones are. It's the craziest thing ever, but I guess actually it is the. Why the Is an iPhone and a laptop from them the same price? I like, you can't do with this thing. And it's.

[Kai]

You can do everything with this thing.

[Drew]

Yeah, you could do everything.

[Kai]

Bubble everything.

[Orion]

Ever literally rearrange everything.

[Drew]

You can't do everything because Rain and me went on that trip and I used a camcorder because I'm like, so cool. And I had to give her those files. It's an older system, so the only way to access those files is you have to convert them into MP3s manually. And, like, Yes, I could sit there and convert them all, but my laptop is fucking full. And I don't want to have to deal with it because, oh, my God, I spent so much money on this thing and I'm a freak, and I. I'm not, like, an organized God.

[Kai]

I hate the storage on a fucking MacBook.

[Drew]

I know. Like, why, like, how have you not figured it out? Like, make infinite. Like, make it infinite. We used to strive for infinite. Like, we need to go back to getting infinity also.

[Kai]

It doesn't make sense to me. Like, why is, like, ones and zeros, like, taking up, like, physical space?

[Drew]

Like, clean it up. You're so fucking smart. Damn. Like, some of these files. I know damn well you're all up.

[Kai]

Also, wait, how is the Internet infinite?

[Drew]

Smaller files for me.

[Kai]

How is the Internet infinite if I can't have infinite data on my computer? Why is the Internet.

[Orion]

I think there's a theoretical limit to the Internet size. It's like the amount of silicone.

[Kai]

Okay, enough. Okay, all right, I'm with you. That is, I actually want to know.

[Drew]

Because I'm, like, so confused.

[Orion]

I think there's, like, a theoretical. Because silicon is made from sand, I.

[Kai]

Think, essentially from the shoe of Kai.

[Orion]

Well, that's.

[Drew]

Oh, that's one of the sources.

[Kai]

So often he's making silicon.

[Drew]

Actually, he's making the Internet than I thought. Like, I'm so sorry. That's amazing.

[Kai]

Amazing.

[Orion]

Okay. Honestly. Thank you.

[Drew]

I actually. Okay, yeah.

[Kai]

So silicon is it, like, servers and like, I think.

[Orion]

I think you can. You can view, like, the amount of material that can be converted into silicon, and then you can. There is a theoretical. I'm like. I think it's like exabytes. That's like a billion trillion exabytes of rocks that you can convert into silicon. I remember seeing something about.

[Kai]

I wanted to buy a silicon disc off of ebay one time, but it was 500 and I.

[Drew]

Silicon. Is that what they, like, make, like.

[Kai]

Like glass?

[Drew]

Oh, it's glass, basically. Okay, Right. Okay. So it is just glass. Because if it's sand, they're just heating up the glass to use. I'm not totally heating. They're heating up the sand to just, like, make it into glass.

[Kai]

Why the three dumb bitches.

[Drew]

I know. Why is it.

[Kai]

Exactly. Exactly.

[Drew]

I'm, like, so confused by that, but just keep going.

[Orion]

Well, I think basically, I think it's like they turn it into. From. I think it's literally from rocks into a version of glass. And they etch rocks into circuitry onto it. Yeah, yeah. I Did want to talk about.

[Drew]

Oh, my God. You can literally get silica. Oh, so it's. Yeah, it's just minerals. Cool.

[Kai]

Kai, what were you saying?

[Orion]

Oh, two really important things happened to me last week. I was Sally at the Role Model concert, which for a 30 year old man is like, obviously huge.

[Drew]

Huge role.

[Orion]

Yeah, yeah, it's amazing. And then also, so I was on tour with him for like five shows and at the one in la, Shaboozi came up to me and asked me if I was Ian the rapper. Yeah.

[Kai]

Wow. And you said yes?

[Orion]

I said I wish. And he thought that was really funny.

[Kai]

Wow.

[Drew]

Wait, why do I love that? Oh, that's sweet. That's a really big step up from the Dua Lipa incident.

[Orion]

Yeah, I have no idea.

[Drew]

You've got your grounding.

[Orion]

I actually don't know.

[Drew]

Kai's got a bit of confidence in Pepin's stuff.

[Orion]

Well, I actually control the edit, so there's no way that that's gonn.

[Drew]

No, I. I feel you, though, because I had like. I can't even make fun of you for the Dua Lipa thing because I cried to a huge celebrity in public like this weekend.

[Kai]

Literally, like, sobbed.

[Orion]

Wow, that's so sick.

[Drew]

Okay, so I was at this like vintage market and I was with friends and it was like really packed. So I must admit I went outside and I smoked because I was like, if I go outside and I smoke, I'm gonna come back in here and get hyper fixated on the fact that, like, there's just a bunch of clothes. And it was like a whole charity thing. And I was like, oh, cool. I could find like a cool thing here. So I like, there were a bunch of friends of ours who were there, so I was like talking to them, like, whatever. I'm on this one floor and one of my friends comes up to me and it's like, like, Cynthia is here and like.

[Kai]

And you like, turn around and she's like literally like 4 foot 2 floating through the crowd. Like, she's really tiny.

[Drew]

She's so tiny. Oh, my God. I literally like, oh, I think I like, grew up with Stan behavior. Like, I only, like, do so much. I only like music so much because that is just my nerd hyper fixation. And I don't have that with, like, actors. But with Cynthia, I'm like, oh, my God, she has knocked both out of the park. So I must stand. Like, I only kind of feel that way with musicians and I am blessed enough that, like, because of how vocal I've Been about, like, my love for music. I'm friends with a lot of artists, which is, to me, I'm like. Like, I. They don't know I'm their biggest fan. They don't know I know all their lyrics. Because if I like a song, I have to read the lyrics and memorize them. It's like, I'm not kidding. I think if you look up the word lyrics in my history, it will go forever. Like, I. I want to know what.

[Kai]

Quite literally, could not be more opposite.

[Drew]

I know which understanding.

[Kai]

A lot of songs recently, though, for the first time, I know.

[Orion]

Oh, well, you have synesthesia, so that's.

[Kai]

Yeah, I see the lyrics in my head.

[Drew]

I paint the lyrics in my mind.

[Orion]

What Color and shape is a Benson Boone song?

[Kai]

Blue circle.

[Orion]

I see that. Yeah. Ask another blue backflip what Color and shape is a Claro song.

[Kai]

That's a tricky one, because it's not just a single color or shape. It's like an explosion of red and yellow.

[Orion]

It's like one of those four.

[Kai]

Like a paint splatter.

[Drew]

Yeah, a paint splatter.

[Kai]

It's like a paint splatter. A neon delta paint splatter. When she did her talent show, that's hella funny.

[Drew]

What the was I saying? Oh, yeah. We were at this market, and somebody told me that, and I was like, okay, I'm not gonna go up to her, because I. I usually don't go up to people. And I was like, that's insane. And at the end of it, she like, I. But I had seen all of my friends going up to her. Like, she was having conversations. Like, she was talking to people, and it wasn't, like, a thing. She was, like, fully alone. And then at one point, she was, like, talking to a girl, and then she turned around and, like, went to walk away, and I was like, dude, I don't know why I need to just be like, you are amazing. Because I literally think she's amazing. And I'm like, I never have this, like, guttural feeling. But I was like. I think I was so pulled to it because me and Rain got really close because of my hyper fixation with Wicked. And me and Rain love, like, her and Ariana so much. And, like, we were like, we gossip about the fact that, like, things are being previewed at Comic Con right now. Whatever. I went up to her, and I was like, I think you were so awesome, and I am just such a. Like, I don't know. I think because I was high, I forgot that I essentially was running up to a fucking beetle. Like, she's one of the Beatles. Like, her. Her to me, her and Ariana Grande. Like, Drake has made comments about how he's bigger than the Beatles, and I'm like, babe, like, whatever. But Wicked is the Beatles. Like, to me. Like, to me right now, like, I feel that way. Like, I feel that strongly. I remember when I didn't like the Beatles and people would, like, really get passionate to me about it, and I'd be like, whatever that is. I like the Beatles now, but I don't have that passion for that. I have that passion for Wicked. And I went up to her and I was like, I usually don't do this, and I'm so sorry. But, like, I used to, like, be that annoying person who was like, oh, musicals are like, whatever. I don't really like them. I don't like theater like that. And my friend who I ended up getting really close to because of this showed me Wicked. And, like, I have, like, such a newfound respect for what it really is to be a performer and what it is to, like, like, be a creative and actually be passionate and, like, put it in, whatever. I held her up for way too long because I was just high and ranting to her. And then I saw, like, a. There was, like, a photographer there, and I saw a photographer coming up, and I was like, oh, my God, I'm gonna go, because I don't want, like, this on camera because I don't want her to just, like, be berated because a photographer sees, like, her in a conversation. And then I was like. She was like, oh, my God, thank you. Like, that means so much. Like, I really love to hear that. And then I was like. I started crying, like, tearing up, because I started to talk about Ray now. I was. It just brought me, like, so, so close to, like, somebody who I really love. And I started, like, to cry, and she's like, oh, my God. Okay. And I was like. Then the darker came, and she probably thought I was bash or crazy because I go, okay. Yeah. Just had to say that. Please enjoy your day. Thank you so much for hearing me out. And I turned and I ran away.

[Orion]

That's really sweet.

[Drew]

But, yeah, I, like, went back to my friend who I'd been hanging out with that day, and I just started cracking up because I was. I just looked at him. I was like, she probably thinks I'm batshit crazy. Like, I am a crazy person. That was so weird. But, like, I was so happy because.

[Orion]

I was like, no, that sounds really sweet.

[Drew]

Honestly, like, that was lit as. I was so happy. And that's like the first time in a long time I felt like that about a celebrity. And in that way, it made me feel like a teenager again, too, because I was like.

[Kai]

Well, we were seven days into lockdown. Seven. Seven days into lockdown when all of the celebrities got together and made the Imagine cover. We were locked down for seven whole days.

[Orion]

What color and shape is that song?

[Kai]

Black Hole? They really could not handle having zero attention on them for seven days that they got together and did that. Yeah, that, like, that blew my mind. Like, I saw a girl talking about it on Tick Tock and I was like.

[Drew]

Bro, the group chat for this probably was insane.

[Kai]

There's no heaven. It's easy if you try. They're being dead serious too. No hell below us, above us, only sky. Imagine all the people. People that, like, sing. Wait, that is Josiah. Wait, who is this? Wait, who is that? Who was that? James?

[Drew]

That's somebody who edited themselves.

[Kai]

Yeah, James, what was that?

[Drew]

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. We need to read. Like, we need to.

[Kai]

Wait.

[Drew]

Who put ourself in? And then cover up random people and.

[Kai]

Wait, is this Vincent Boone?

[Drew]

Oh, wait, I don't know. Dude, that is so funny.

[Orion]

I have no idea. It looks. Is that like a snowboarder?

[Drew]

Well, a random. I get a lot.

[Kai]

Someone commented the only thing moving during this montage was my gag reflex. Oh. I thought they were making, like, a sex joke, but I guess they were gagging at it. They were so gagged by it.

[Orion]

They gagged me.

[Kai]

That literally gagged me. Also, we have yet to talk about my Beyonce covers from the DJ set that everybody said was fake.

[Drew]

They said it was fake.

[Kai]

They said it was Josiah singing for.

[Orion]

Me, which is insane.

[Kai]

Josiah. Six months.

[Orion]

For six months. Yeah. Literally six months, and you've gone through hell.

[Kai]

I know. I was. I literally was in the studio with Beyonce getting vocal lessons from.

[Drew]

No, you went and got vocal surgery. Like. Like a new thing in LA where they'll like. I'm not even kidding. I'm not lying, guys. I'm not lying, guys.

[Kai]

I didn't want to bring this up.

[Drew]

They'll put Botox, like, in your vocal cords, and you can sing and you can sing better.

[Kai]

I got castrated for this, so I didn't go through puberty.

[Orion]

I think you missed the window to get castrated.

[Drew]

No, no, don't say that about him.

[Kai]

Don't say. Don't say that.

[Drew]

Oh, my God.

[Kai]

Oh, well, also, we're going to run those videos, by the way, and we're going to play them all the way through. People are going to be know my Beyonce covers God, and people are going to be annoyed, but the world needs to hear my voice.

[Drew]

Yeah, okay, dude.

[Orion]

Watching those back.

[Drew]

Well, upload them to.

[Orion]

I genuinely. I think that's the closest I remember, like, a couple of years ago, I taught myself how to lucid dream, but I had, like, a horrible experience where I basically just, like, awoke in my parents bathroom and I was, like, on fire. And then I was like, no.

[Kai]

And I like, wait, that's what you wanted to do?

[Orion]

No, I wanted to fucking have sex and fly. But then I, like, forced myself out of the lucid dream and I was paralyzed for three and a half minutes. But anyway, watching those videos back is the, like, closest feeling I have to, like, lucid dreaming.

[Kai]

I know. I hate that it's also red light, and I, like, hate red light.

[Drew]

With.

[Kai]

The other hat on top.

[Drew]

Oh, my God.

[Kai]

Bring in the clowns.

[Orion]

Wait, Drew, did you. Oh, we haven't talked about this. The structures they found under the pyramids.

[Kai]

Oh, yeah, the eight spiral.

[Drew]

I saw that, and I don't believe it.

[Kai]

I'm like, I need to see it with my own two eyes.

[Orion]

What's crazy is that I'll like. I'm like, so skeptical of everything. So I'm like, oh, that's probably AI generated. But then I see that. I'm like, yeah, of course there's batteries underneath the pyramid.

[Kai]

Duh. There's laser beams that shoot.

[Orion]

Immediately my brain's like, yes, yes, yes. Of course there's. There's like a Empire State Building tall battery under both of the eight of them. Yes.

[Drew]

And they were like, bro, no way. And I just saw that because I started watching it, and I was like, whoa. Because I. Everything I see now, I'm like this.

[Kai]

I believe everything I see on the Internet. I'm not kidding. Everything that crosses my feet, I believe. I'm like, yep, period.

[Drew]

No, some things. Well, I'm also like, the. But we've been over this. Like, the moon landing. Like, but I really actually, on the last plane ride I got on, I really want to go to space. Like, I think I need to go to space soon, or I need to do skydiving, which I've always been against. But if I die, I die. But if I don't die, I'm scared I might become addicted to skydiving.

[Kai]

I was gonna say I can't go skydiving or, like, climb. I can't walk across a bridge or anything, because I used to think I was gonna die in a car crash. But now I know I'm gonna die from falling from a high, like a really high structure. I just have visions like, I know what it feels like to be stabbed.

[Drew]

Just being like. Exactly.

[Kai]

No, I know what it. I know what it feels like to be stabbed because I was killed in a past life by a knife. And that's why I'm so scared of being stabbed. Like, that's my literal worst fear, is being stabbed to death. I'm gonna fall from, like, a really high place, and that's how I'm gonna die. So I have to, like, avoid tall buildings. Like, I cannot go to the top of the Empire State Building. I cannot, like, also, I'm just so tiny.

[Drew]

I can't. Like, no one's trying to take you to the top of people are Empire State one.

[Kai]

I'm so, like, tiny and thin. Like, one, like, gust of wind would blow me over the edge.

[Orion]

I will say, when we were walking around New York, I did see, like, you know, there's those grates where. Where the subway tracks are and that, like, pushes wind out of it to, like, dissipate the air pressure. Yeah. Drew was walking over one in it and it lifted him up a couple blocks and I had to, like, go and get.

[Kai]

It was, like, horrible.

[Drew]

Also. I'm sorry. I'm really trying to find this lady that got caught in a, like a dust devil when it was hot and she didn't give a fuck. Like, she got caught in, like, a little, like, torture situation. And it's on video and she's like.

[Kai]

No, I was gonna say my mom. Literally, that happened to her when she was young. And she tells me this story and it, like, literally makes me cry laughing. She like, saw like, a violent dust devil, probably like 40 or 50 miles per hour. And I was like a six year old kid. Just was like, I'm gonna run into it. She ran and stood in the middle of it and she was like, it was the worst five seconds of my life. Like, my eyes were full of dust. Like, rocks and debris were hitting me. My face or my hair was like, whipping across my face. And, like, I had, like, lines from where my, like, hair whipped so fast across my face that it left, like, marks. And, like, just makes me cry laughing with my mom, like, being like.

[Drew]

Help, dude. You know what I want to do? Like, we need to find.

[Kai]

No, we don't. I'm telling you right now. We literally.

[Drew]

They're actually, like, realistically, there's nothing left to find. Like, I don't want to find anything else, but I do need to go to, like, an arcade where you get in that machine and you have to, like, grab tickets. Oh, I need to do that.

[Kai]

Like, Chuck E. Cheese. Like, tornado machine. Yeah. I got invited to the opening of a new Chuck E. Cheese.

[Drew]

Really?

[Kai]

No.

[Drew]

Oh, like, no me interested.

[Kai]

I was like, we should go.

[Drew]

Like, I realized I'm like, damn.

[Kai]

I know this is old news. Like, this is very, very, very, very old news. They banned poppers.

[Drew]

Like, wait, what?

[Kai]

Poppers are gone. Like, the company that made poppers in America literally got shut down by the fda.

[Drew]

Wait, what?

[Kai]

Yes.

[Drew]

Oh, but puff bars are still here.

[Kai]

Yeah, exactly. Oh.

[Drew]

Oh, okay.

[Kai]

They took the VCR cleaner away from us.

[Drew]

Yeah, I'm not. I'm not even kidding. I actually can't believe.

[Orion]

Why did they take the vcr?

[Drew]

People were just cleaning because Troy sang about it and. Oh, God forbid, like, people get to sing about the things we love. Like.

[Kai]

Well, no, Kai, poppers. Like, open your butthole up.

[Orion]

What? What? Who's doing that?

[Drew]

So amazing. They got away with being claimed as, like, VCR cleaner for so long. Ho. What? Like, no.

[Kai]

It's been like, 25 years. Like, jungle chase.

[Drew]

I remember at one point it said, like, nail varnish or something, or, like, one that I bought. And that kind of scared me because I was like, okay, this is kind of putting into perspective that I'm just huffing.

[Kai]

Like, we really did have, like, a pop resort work.

[Drew]

Dude. I was addicted to popper and it.

[Kai]

Was, like, laying like that.

[Drew]

No going around it. I have an extremely addictive personality.

[Kai]

And, like, she had it on her bedside table and she'd, like, wake up first thing in the morning and hit her poppers.

[Drew]

And that was before I even, like, smoked cigarettes or puff bars. Like, instead of a puff bar, I just was. I had poppers for, like, three months. But then it left me with, like, I have, like, nauseating migraines now, like, all the time.

[Orion]

Really? Have we talked about exploding head syndrome?

[Kai]

No. I mean, kinda like, we talked about, like, when I fall asleep, I hear explosions.

[Orion]

Oh, yeah, I guess we have.

[Drew]

Talking about.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Orion]

But it happened to my roommate's girlfriend. She, like, ran out of the room and she was like, what's going on? And I was like, I'm pretty sure you're just experiencing exploding head syndrome, which you can literally Google, which is insane.

[Kai]

So weird. Like, when I'm like, literally when I'm falling asleep, I haven't actually, now that I think about it, had it in so long. But, like, I will literally hear people whispering my names, like, in the corner of my room. Like, oh, yeah.

[Drew]

Like, it'll be like, yeah, true.

[Kai]

And then I'll hear, like, India, like, or not India, but, like, a voice down the hall. Like, yell my name. And I'll, like, wake up and be like, what? And then I'll hear fucking, like, car wrecks and explosions in my fucking head. Like, I'll be like, literally.

[Drew]

Look out my insane. See, I don't have that. But also, I don't have that because I kind of rarely fall asleep without watching something. I. I, like, I can't fall asleep without watching something because if I close my eyes, I will just start, like, doom prepping for the next day and, like. Like, just, like, making a list, which I guess I. We should start journaling again. Because usually when I journal, I, at some point in that, will just write out things I feel like I have to do. And a lot of them are, like, fake things, because I'm just, like, anxious to make myself anxious, and that helps. But, like, bro, for the most part, I'm throwing on a man who's making physics in his basement, and I'm gonna learn how the dams are made and why they're important and when they collapse and why it's devastating, and it's gonna be cool. And, like, am I gonna retain all the information?

[Orion]

No, but I wanted to say this is, like, kind of random, but I never. I never really go hard for Halloween, and I. I think this year I really want to do something special.

[Drew]

I will literally tap in with you.

[Kai]

You're gonna pop out with a boner.

[Orion]

Go hard. No, no. I think what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna be poop baby. Remember that video of the guy? And he walks in, there's, like, a baby on the counter, it's covered in poop, and it's like.

[Kai]

That was peanut butter, baby.

[Orion]

What?

[Kai]

Wasn't poop baby. It was peanut butter baby.

[Drew]

Yeah. What are you talking about? Also, like, you, like, had me, and then you completely lost me. I was trying to be nice to you. Now you're back, you're.

[Kai]

You're gonna walk around.

[Orion]

I thought there was poop baby.

[Kai]

Poop all over you.

[Orion]

Ah. Like, ah. Get the poop off of me.

[Kai]

You do kind of look like that, baby.

[Orion]

Stop. Thank you.

[Kai]

Yeah. You also kind of give. I want to start doing that Andy Kaufman.

[Orion]

Oh, I don't know if I love that.

[Kai]

No, you'll have the same eyes. He has, like, sweet, scary eyes.

[Orion]

I have sweet answers.

[Drew]

It's the eyes and the eyebrows.

[Orion]

Okay, I'll take that.

[Drew]

I watched the movie Secretary, and it really is just 50 shades of gray. If it was good and, like, people were.

[Kai]

Is that the one with the robot girlfriend that, like, burns her hand on a candle?

[Drew]

No, no, that's a companion, which I actually did see, and it was, like, so. It was, like, funny.

[Kai]

I want to see that movie.

[Drew]

Yeah, it was good.

[Orion]

Wait. Secretary is actually good.

[Drew]

Dude, Secretary is so good. But I will say it's the horniest movie I've ever seen. Is it new?

[Orion]

I want to watch a good horny movie.

[Drew]

It's. No, it's amazing because I like, do.

[Kai]

You want to make? And I still.

[Orion]

Yes.

[Drew]

Ew. I like Baby Girl, and I still fuck with it because I'm like. I like a movie with kind of no reason other than the fact that, like, they're horny and I'm like, purr. Like, that's fine, because I'm a perv. I don't fucking know. But Secretary is like, dude. It's so crazy. Also, like, performance of a lifetime from Mrs. Like, what's her name? Jane Goodall. She has some crazy name. Jane Goodall is the lady. I'm. No, I'm sorry.

[Kai]

Jane Goodall is having sex in a movie.

[Drew]

Not Jane Goodall. She has. Elsie kept saying her name to me, and I was like, who are you? I don't know her name. And then I looked into it. I was like, oh, my God. She's been in so many movies I With, and so many movies that are on my watch list. And she did this movie when she was 22, but I don't.

[Orion]

Is that. Is that Maggie Gyllenhaal?

[Drew]

Maggie Gyllenhaal.

[Kai]

Jane Goodall.

[Orion]

Who is Jen.

[Kai]

Did she work with that girl that, like, lived in? Yeah, lived in the gym.

[Drew]

And she was, like, a scientist.

[Orion]

Her pivot to, like, very horny, which would be kind.

[Drew]

Like, I would be like, yes. I, like, love that.

[Orion]

The last time I watched 50 Shades of Gray, I was like, this is really funny and very fun to watch, but I do wish it was, like, an actual good movie.

[Drew]

Well, that's what Secretary is.

[Kai]

Would y' all break up with your boyfriend if you found out he could do the splits?

[Drew]

Honestly, no. That would, like, really make me laugh. That would make me laugh a lot. Like, but it just, like, would y'.

[Kai]

All break up with your boyfriend if you found out he could do the splits?

[Drew]

Like, well, no. If I found out way later, yes. Unless it was, like, to me, I'M like, because what, you could do a split.

[Kai]

You'd be swooned by it.

[Drew]

No. Yeah, because I'd be like that dude, hilarious. Like, because I wish I could do it a flip or a backflip. I would really love to learn how to do some sort of flip. And I. I've thought about learning to do the splits because imagine just me being drunk as a party and dancing what I want and doing a split.

[Kai]

I want to secretly learn it and then just like bring everyone into the living room and be like, guys, watch this. And then just do the split.

[Drew]

See, if that was the scenario this happened, I'd be like, girl, I don't even believe. Like, but you literally, you've brought magic back into the world.

[Kai]

Yeah, I don't think I would break up with my boyfriend if I found out he.

[Drew]

Can you learn to do the splits for me?

[Kai]

I'm like pretty close. I'm like really flexible.

[Drew]

I'm just, I'm flexible. But for some reason the splits, you know what it is, is because I just think of my skin tearing. And it's always been a thing in my head which the more I talk about things like that, the more it.

[Orion]

Is like I think about my balls tearing, doing the splits.

[Drew]

Ew, Come on. Like, don't even mention that. Don't even mention that.

[Kai]

The between like the taint area.

[Orion]

Yeah. The seam.

[Kai]

Yeah. What is it, the pregnancy stitch or the husband's stitch?

[Orion]

Because like, it's definitely not the husband stitch.

[Kai]

No, like when girls give birth, they're like tear down.

[Orion]

That is the husband.

[Kai]

It's like we would have to get the husbands.

[Drew]

No, wait, it's not taint. Cuz there's like two words for it.

[Kai]

Gooch and taint.

[Drew]

Gooch. No. What?

[Kai]

Ludal cycle. Also, tea is like, everybody's been using like, what's that? Oil or the, the beef. Beef tallow as moisturizer. Like, first of all, don't stop putting meat on your fucking face. But I've been using gooch grease, like just scraping it from the gooch and just like putting it on my face as a moisturizer. And it's literally.

[Drew]

I thought you were gonna say using in your mustache.

[Kai]

No, no, I've been using it as a moisturizer.

[Orion]

Does that work?

[Kai]

No, I think it's like breaking my skin out. But it's like a purge era. Okay, well, I made a list of 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 things that if someone cheated on you, someone hurt you in a really bad way, that you were dating Someone broke up with you and you really want to ruin their life, but, like, not in, like, a crazy way, I think. I feel like these are things that you could do to someone that would get under their skin and drive them absolutely be bananas. Like, batshit crazy insane. Because they never find out. They'd never find out if someone hurts you. Put shrimp in their shower rod or sew them into their curtains like little baby shrimps in the bottom of the curtain so they rot over time and smell bad. Crack eggs into their heat and heater vent. Like, if they have floor vents, like, crack an egg into it or put.

[Drew]

A boiled egg in there.

[Kai]

Yeah, exactly. Pour oil down the windows of his car.

[Drew]

He just so stupid, bruh.

[Kai]

Put chia seeds in his drain.

[Drew]

Oh. In my head, I was like, oh, that'd be cute, though. But I was like, dude, oh, that's really good.

[Orion]

Because they expand, right?

[Kai]

And they'd also sprout and they would.

[Drew]

Be like, oh, but then what if he, like, becomes the guy who, like, posts on his tick tock with, like, a random, like, like, sweet song, and.

[Orion]

He'S like, life finds a way.

[Drew]

Yeah, like, like, nature will always grow. Like, I will always grow, like. Or some shit like that. And then he goes viral, and then he gets, like, so much play from it.

[Kai]

Get a spray bottle and fill it with milk and spray everything in his house. Like, you know the fine Mr. Like, spray bottles we have for our hair. Like, dusting everything in milk. Oh, hell, though, in two to three days, it would smell so good.

[Orion]

That's really good.

[Kai]

Yeah. So there's a few little, little things that you could do to people you don't like. Oh, also, this is the craziest thing ever. I've been keeping tabs on all of the women in my life. All of them, no matter the age. I've been keeping tabs on them for this one specific reason. Every single girl in my life is complaining that they're balding. I'm not joking. Every single dude. It's the Internet.

[Drew]

Literally. It's literally the Internet. I, like, I've been thinking about it so much. I'm like, y' all are gonna make me the kind of bat, like, natural only, like, literally, which is no shampoo. Like, I'm not kidding. I'm like, I'm not doing this game anymore because I now think I'm balding. And it's because, like, men balding has become such a big topic online. And then that transferred into women seeing that, I think, and being like, wait, am I like, Losing hair and the.

[Kai]

Minoxidil thing, it's also, don't put minoxidil on you because Azul will lick it off and die. It's so bad for cats.

[Drew]

No, I'm not kidding.

[Kai]

I, like, also, I feel like minoxidil on women, like, is not a good thing. I don't know, though.

[Drew]

Yeah, I. I don't know. I haven't looked into it because I remember I was talking to somebody about it, and it might have been you, and you were like. Because I know their side effects for men. And you were like, you should look into the side effects for women. And I don't want to do, like, when it comes to beauty. And I can't lie. Like, I'm not going that far. Like, I'm not. Like, if. If there's, like, running through the airport. Oh, my God. If it's side effects like that, I'll bald. Like, if I'm. If I'm supposed to bald, I guess I'll bald and I'll have, like, a shaved head. Like, Sinead o' Connor was a g and she had a shaved head. And, like, people, like, she was gorgeous.

[Kai]

My wife's name out of your mouth.

[Drew]

You're gay. Like, you're gay. I don't understand. Dude, did you know that they're gonna start. Don't. Oof.

[Kai]

Oh.

[Drew]

Yeah. If I'm supposed to bald, I'm supposed to bald because that's how I feel about my boobs. Like, when I started running, I lost weight and my boobs deflated, which was always a dream. I've always complained about my boobs. I feel so good about my boobs now. Now other than the fact that they look like the tits of the woman from Barbarian. And I had to really come to terms with that. And that's tripping.

[Kai]

I've seen your boobs so much recently.

[Drew]

No, I've been embracing, like, recently. I'm like, I am just letting. I am letting this idea that because I'm in a field now where I can have that, like, perfection, I should just do it because, like, really is, like. And I don't have any gripes about it because I have a lot of friends, actually, who have had, like, breast reductions and, like, work. Like, I know people with work done. And I have no gripes about it. But for me, personally, I'm just like. I don't know if I care that much. Like, I just don't because I kind of. I'm like, I'm really pretty, actually. Like, I'm like, it's fine. Like, but I feel like everyone should hit that. Like, I don't know. Like. Yeah.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Oh, my God. I forgot what I was wearing the other day. Oh, I was wearing a bathing suit the other day and my boobs are at the point where they, like, fold over. Like, if I wanted to, I could literally roll my boob up like a joint.

[Kai]

Roll up.

[Orion]

Like, I could like sprinkling Keef on your boob.

[Drew]

Yeah. Like, I could literally like some wax.

[Kai]

In there making a mega joint if.

[Drew]

I put on a push up bra.

[Kai]

Push up.

[Drew]

It's a lot. My boobs were way bigger. They were huge. Like, I didn't realize how big my boobs.

[Kai]

You had really big knock and I.

[Drew]

Kind of missed them. But like, that's like that. That's the whole thing. I think that's what it was is like I lost my boobs. I was really happy. But now I find myself every now and then being like, damn, I kind of wish my boobs were like, a little bigger or something. I'm like, oh, no, no, no. See, there's no winning.

[Kai]

And I'm not gonna pay.

[Drew]

I'm not gonna pay to, like, get in the cycle of like. Like, I need it. Oh, I got told I had low density breast. That's what spiraled my really, like, crazy boob.

[Orion]

Who told you that?

[Drew]

I went to a bra store because I needed new bras. And the woman was actually really helpful and really sweet and she didn't mean this in a mean way. And she hooked me the up cuz. She gave me bras that are, like, perfect. But it cracked me up because I was like, I can't believe I'm paying for a woman I don't know to stand over my shoulder looking in a mirror with me topless in, like, a bra that's transparent. And she's like, fixing the straps and stuff. And she's like telling me how to adjust my booze and she's like, yeah, you're gonna have to do that because if you don't, like, you have low. You have low density breasts. So, like, you're gonna have to adjust them. But they looked like. But she was being complimented. Like, she was complimenting me. But the term low density breasts, I was like, we don't.

[Kai]

All this. All this boob talk makes me have a big boner.

[Orion]

Do you have a high density penis, dude, have you checked?

[Kai]

No, I have low density penis. Yeah, it's really low density. Drew Psyop corner doing hate when ugly. Be like, no caption needed. You Better explain this. You better explain this one. Soon as 10:30am Hit the McDonald's, workers shove all the breakfast up their ass. Where did it go? I know, I know. You'll have it back there still. Y' all shivering in this cold weather because them sheen jackets are made out of paper towels. If you have they them in your bio, I will not be arguing with you. I'm clearly outnumbered. Yeah, I'm. I'm. I will never argue with anybody with did Outnumbered, as this one's so good. There aren't any more squirrels outside. Now all of a sudden Taco Bell sells wings? Something's not right because those wings from Taco Bell are really small. Like, squirrel.

[Drew]

I. Like, I haven't had the wings from Taco Bell. Why have you had the wings from Taco Bell?

[Kai]

Because I try everything that's new.

[Orion]

Because he watches the TED talks of fast food companies?

[Kai]

No, I love new things. I love trying new things.

[Drew]

Like, I know you really do.

[Kai]

Like, I wanted the fucking dirty Mountain Dew Baja Blast so badly.

[Drew]

What is that?

[Kai]

It's a Mountain Dew Baja Blast with cream in it. Like, hella cream.

[Orion]

Oh, that sounds really nice.

[Drew]

It being like. I just think of the way those drinks look when they sit out and, like, the.

[Kai]

The curdling effect, the curdling of it all.

[Drew]

There's not real cream in it. It has to be, like, artificial. Like, I think it's.

[Kai]

It's cream. I don't know. It's either cream or it's ice cream.

[Drew]

Cream. The way you say cream is so funny.

[Kai]

Cream.

[Drew]

Cream.

[Kai]

Cream. It's cream.

[Drew]

Cream.

[Kai]

I'll do one more.

[Drew]

You know what's crazy is I'm watching him look at this. And it's five words.

[Kai]

Well, I'm trying to figure it out. First day as a pilot. The what pit?

[Drew]

Oh, you idiot.

[Kai]

The cockpit. That was from at male.

[Drew]

I'm trying to figure it out.

[Kai]

Cali Miller submitted those.

[Drew]

Oh, that was amazing.

[Kai]

And then Shelby Claire submitted the McDonald's one. And then Blake Bennett has just been on a tear recently.

[Orion]

Shout out Blake Bennett. Being on it.

[Kai]

Shout out Blake Bennett.

[Drew]

And that's Benson Boone's brother.

[Kai]

Yeah. Lyrical lemonade.

[Orion]

I did not know that Benson Boone was a real guy. I thought that was a, like, a funny name that people were saying, figure.

[Kai]

Out who that was.

[Drew]

Oh, is the guy who did a backflip and has crazy vocal range.

[Kai]

Yeah, no, he's actually really talented.

[Drew]

Yeah, he's like a really good vocalist, but it's kind of like Charlie Puth. Like, I'm like yes, you are like so good. There's no question about your craft. But like, like what a backflip.

[Orion]

Also coming from someone named Kai. Your name's not real. Benson Boone is not a real name. I get to speak on that because I also don't have a real name.

[Drew]

Benson boom. Sounds like Ben 10. Like it'd be like Ben 10's real name. Yeah, like in the cartoon Ben 10. His real name is Benson Boone.

[Kai]

Benson Boone. More like Benson Boom Boom boom. Five.

[Drew]

That was for you guys.

[Kai]

Five big boons. Vincent Boone. More like Vincent Poon nanny. Eat all that. Ew. Oh no. I'm the bad guy now. I'm the bad guy.

[Drew]

Okay. I actually this is something I'm curious about.

[Kai]

These beautiful teas that I got.

[Orion]

Whoa.

[Kai]

That was really deep cut.

[Drew]

I know you. What was I say? Oh, I'm actually curious like, because I know there's the bush is like a huge conversation right now. Blah blah blah.

[Kai]

The bush is back in a big way.

[Drew]

The bush never left the bush.

[Kai]

Never left the bush. Like I've, I've had a bush for the like since I was nine years old.

[Orion]

That's weird.

[Kai]

Since I was seven years old.

[Drew]

But basically I know there's girls who have lasered their bush and now like they maybe have regrets about it. I'm curious if there's men who like lasered their bush and they're like, I.

[Kai]

Regret that a hundred percent. And I know they're like kind of. They have like leather skin. Like they tan a lot. It's like those guys.

[Orion]

Oh yeah. They're getting their, their bikini lines.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Oh, I guess. Yeah. That is. It would be like kind of maybe somebody who's like really with us.

[Kai]

This part of their neck up is covered in freckles and is red.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

And they wear glasses that have like a string around the back so if they fall off it goes around their neck.

[Drew]

You know what? I might get something like that though because I leave my glasses everywhere. When I'm wearing my glasses. I'll take them off because when I'm. What's it? I'm like nearsighted. Yeah. I'm near sighted. So if I'm like talking this.

[Kai]

You're near sighted. I'm beer sighted. Kai, pick this up. Up.

[Drew]

That was your.

[Kai]

Arch it a little more. What do you say?

[Orion]

Thank you, daddy.

[Kai]

Yes. Yes. Yes what? Yes, daddy, no.

[Orion]

Yes. Oh. Did you know it's the one year anniversary for the Chow main video?

[Kai]

Which one?

[Drew]

What?

[Orion]

You remember the one. Wait, let me pull this up.

[Drew]

Also. It's not only because I don't want to embarrass myself, but it was because I don't wanna. I don't want to give the driver PTSD and think they've harmed me as well. So everyone wins in this situation.

[Kai]

If I got hit by a car. Never mind.

[Drew]

Never mind. Oh, dude, I have a migraine.

[Kai]

I know. Me, too. I have, like, bad temple headache.

[Orion]

Okay, okay.

[Kai]

Who has the best girlfriend ever? I do.

[Drew]

Who just bought you all this stuff?

[Kai]

She did. And all the stuff? My girl. All of it. And I'm about to eat this, and then we're gonna chow on that after. I used to feel bad for him.

[Drew]

Yeah, but we're not eating it all. Just know that because we gotta save some. Yeah.

[Kai]

Yes, ma' am.

[Drew]

Budget cuts, you know.

[Kai]

Save, save, save.

[Drew]

I fear this is me.

[Kai]

Like, no, you're her and I'm him. I used to feel bad for him, but there is, like, a power dynamic there that they both love.

[Orion]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Deeply.

[Drew]

It works.

[Orion]

Something about that works pretty nice. I'm not gonna lie.

[Kai]

I know. Like, I want to kind of be like, yelled at.

[Drew]

Y' all are disgusting.

[Kai]

No, I've always said. I've been saying that recently. I want a toxic relationship. No, I don't. Okay. Should we do a little media vibe?

[Drew]

Oh, yes. Okay. I already said Secretary, so.

[Kai]

I saw Aaron Brockovich. Or I rewatched Aaron Brockovich. Very great. I watched Conclave as well. That was an iconic moment in time.

[Drew]

I watched Companion, actually. That's one of the movies I watched, Companion. What was the other one we were talking about?

[Kai]

Secretary.

[Drew]

Yeah, Secretary. I think I watched, like, a. A horny movie the night before, too. Dude. Remember one time you kept me hostage watching that Dumbass movie because you said you were listening to it like a podcast.

[Kai]

I did that, too, recently.

[Drew]

That's funny. White Lotus, I'm trying to think of. Yeah, I tried to watch To Die for again. What was the other movie? Oh, my God.

[Kai]

You search for it still life by 100 tricks point never textures by Herbie Hancock, Halcyon, and On and on by Orbital. And then I've been listening to Flow by Philip Glass, literally on repeat, in the craziest way. Like, literally over and over. And I never do that with music. That song has been on repeat. I feel like that is, like, the encapsulation of my life and every relationship I've ever built.

[Drew]

Oh, yeah. That song is so sweet.

[Kai]

Love that song so much. I think it's perfect.

[Drew]

I fucking love music. That's how I feel.

[Kai]

Music is so goated.

[Drew]

Music is life.

[Kai]

Wait, why is music literally the goat?

[Drew]

Well, I have been listening to Glock by Don Toliver, this is my Life by Shirley Bassey and the 454 album, but I've been listening to that already for, like, two months. Cast of a Dreamer, trying to see what else. I've actually been listening to a lot of music. Is this what you Wanted by Leonard Cohen? Leonard Cohen. I can't say people's names. I'm sorry. Like, seriously, don't fucking. Like, don't hit me. Don't hit me. And I've been listening to a lot of Donna Summer and. Yeah.

[Orion]

That'S like. When you do that face, it. It looks like if you were in, like, a Madame Tussaud museum.

[Kai]

It feels like I had a pacifier on for too long. Like, I had a pacifier till I was, like, 7 years old, which.

[Drew]

I'm not good at doing. Like the it.

[Kai]

Yeah, you are. Don't act like you're not. Do the face.

[Drew]

That's why. Don't act like you can't do that face anymore. Funny faces are so funny.

[Kai]

I love funny faces. And I love poop jokes.

[Drew]

That's why Jim Carrey is the goat. He was a silly little guy.

[Kai]

I feel like I literally am like the Jim Carrey of our generation.

[Orion]

I agree.

[Drew]

Jim Carrey could do the podcast, but could you be the mask?

[Kai]

Yes.

[Drew]

Could you be a. I could do.

[Kai]

The mask, but could Jim Carrey do the podcast? Let's have that.

[Orion]

Oh, yeah.

[Drew]

I actually didn't think about it the other way. Yeah, right. Okay. I have a really bad migraine, so, like, yeah.

[Kai]

Thank you for watching.

[Drew]

Bye.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and safeway now through June 24th. Score hot summer savings and earn four times the points. Look for in store tags on Items like Pepsi 2 liter bottles, poppy prebiotic sodas, all laundry detergent, and Kinder's seasoning blend. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event. Long savings. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in store or online. For easy drive up and go pickup or delivery subject to availability restrictions. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details.