everything is falling apart

Summary

Emergency Intercom: Episode Summary – "Everything is Falling Apart"

Release Date: February 21, 2025

Hosts: Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips

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Introduction

In this episode of Emergency Intercom, hosts Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips dive into a whirlwind of personal anecdotes, humorous conflicts, and candid discussions about their lives. Despite the chaotic title, the conversation remains light-hearted, filled with comedic banter and relatable moments.

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Technical Glitches and Studio Setup

The episode kicks off with Drew expressing frustration over technical issues, specifically dealing with an echo during recording.

• Drew (01:32): "I definitely hear an echo."
• India (01:49): "But I think we fixed the echo in this episode, so it should sound a little bit better for you guys right now."

Kai also chimes in about handling the camera setup, showcasing the trio's teamwork despite the initial hiccups.

• Kai (02:00): "Guys, seriously, like, also, I, I did the camera today, so you guys don't have to worry about it."

---

Family Dynamics and Personal Freedom

Drew opens up about his relationship with his parents, emphasizing his desire for independence.

• Drew (01:15): "One thing about me is like, my parents aren't going to tell me what to do."

The conversation takes a humorous turn as the hosts tease each other's family sentiments.

• Kai (01:26): "Damn."
• Drew (01:27): "Here is crazy."
• Kai (01:26): "I don't like my family."

---

Creative Endeavors: Painting and Sewing

India shares her journey into painting, revealing her initial fears and how she overcame them to embrace oil painting.

• India (04:16): "I started my first oil painting piece last week. And why did no one tell me that oil paint is lit."

Drew humorously admits his lack of patience with the medium, adding levity to the discussion.

• Drew (05:42): "I'm still really bad at it because I have absolutely no patience. I'm not waiting for this to dry."

---

Memory Lapses and Personal Struggles

The hosts delve into personal struggles, notably memory issues that India experiences, leading to emotional revelations.

• India (14:01): "Like, I just want to see the inside of a woman's brain, not her boobs."
• India (16:29): "A lot has happened in the last eight hours of my life."

Drew responds empathetically, suggesting memory games to help India cope.

• Drew (15:27): "We got to get you on some memory games."

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Moving and Adjusting to New Environments

The topic shifts to the chaos of moving houses, with India recounting a particularly stressful encounter at a gas station.

• India (50:15): "I was trying to be nice to someone and I asked them about the weather because there was a really gnarly weather storm coming in."

Drew supports India's experience, highlighting the challenges of adjusting to a new neighborhood.

• Drew (50:52): "We're leaving you guys for a month."

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Humorous Interactions and Group Dynamics

Throughout the episode, the hosts engage in playful teasing and light-hearted conflicts, particularly around personal quirks like ear issues and tongue-tied moments.

• Drew (29:18): "I have like a constant just like, like small ringing in this ear."
• India (43:29): "I just was coming up with it on the spot."

Their interactions underscore the strong, albeit sometimes tumultuous, bond between them.

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Temporary Break Announcement

Towards the end of the episode, Enya and Drew announce a temporary hiatus, discussing the need for personal space amidst their ongoing dynamics.

• Drew (59:53): "I need some space from you. It's not you. It's us."
• India (60:03): "Yeah, we are taking a month off or like three weeks or something like that."

They reassure listeners that this break is necessary for their well-being, promising to return refreshed.

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Closing Thoughts and Final Banter

The episode concludes with the hosts reflecting on their relationship, future plans, and continuing humorous exchanges, maintaining the comedic essence that listeners appreciate.

• Drew (61:31): "Thanks. The break."
• India (62:46): "I have LV sandals by D.J. s kid."

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Notable Quotes:

• Drew (07:05): "I am the most fake insecure person ever."
• India (10:36): "I'll say that right now. You'll never see the insides of our house."
• Drew (28:04): "I love raising my voice."
• India (35:06): "It's like, literally, it's just a belief."
• Drew (43:54): "I love our."

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Conclusion

"Everything is Falling Apart" offers listeners an unfiltered glimpse into the lives of Enya and Drew, packed with humor, real-life issues, and the unique chemistry that defines Emergency Intercom. The episode balances comedic elements with moments of genuine vulnerability, making it a relatable and entertaining listen for both longtime fans and newcomers.

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Disclaimer: This summary is based on a transcript of the podcast and aims to capture the essence of the conversation while omitting advertisements and non-content sections.

Transcript

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[Drew]

One thing about me is like, my parents aren't going to tell me what to do. Like, literally, my parents. My parents aren't going to tell me what to do. And I, I love my family and I do so many things for them.

[Kai]

Damn.

[Drew]

Here is crazy.

[Kai]

I don't like my family.

[India]

Well, well, no, the T is with the echo.

[Drew]

Like, that makes sense.

[India]

Everyone, everyone was like, the echo, the echo, the echo so bad. When I listened back, I literally did not hear an echo at all. And I'm like, what the is going on? Like, can I not hear? I don't think I can hear good anymore.

[Kai]

Really?

[Drew]

Yeah, yeah, I think my hearing's kind of shot. But no, I definitely hear an echo.

[India]

But I think we fixed the echo in this episode, so it should sound a little bit better for you guys right now.

[Kai]

I'm sure it sounds good as.

[Drew]

And like, honestly, if it doesn' get what you get and you don't throw no litter.

[Kai]

Guys, seriously, like, also, I, I did the camera today, so you guys don't have to worry about it.

[Drew]

Oh, yeah. Kai did such a good job of setting up today. He crashed out.

[India]

We are crashing the out. Like, oh, my God.

[Kai]

Well, here's the thing. I drank a lot. I started at.

[Drew]

You always drink a lot.

[Kai]

I always. Well, not. It depends on your definition of a lot, but I started drinking at seven. I came in, I set everything up.

[India]

For you guys, but you came in. What?

[Kai]

I know. I came into the house. Don't make it sexual, dude. Why are you always making it sexual? And then I just set everything up.

[Drew]

So Freaky.

[Kai]

I might have bumped into a couple.

[India]

Things, but yeah, Kai set up this studio today.

[Drew]

No, he came in and crashed out. He literally just came in and started throwing around.

[India]

It was really, like, actually scary.

[Drew]

But we should make like a breakaway room out of the set. Like, we should have a bunch of those made and just let y' all go in and freak out and we'll have dummies of us that y' all can beat up and.

[India]

Yeah, that's literally such like an actually good idea.

[Kai]

Whoa.

[Drew]

I mean, dude, the thing is, if about me is I am one of the greatest minds on the planet.

[India]

Yeah. See, like the tea is. Is the amount of ideas we have more specifically Inya that like, she has that we are like, okay, we're going to do this because there's a lot of that we want to do that we don't do. That gets done six months to a year later is genuinely insane. Like, it's actually shocking.

[Drew]

You know what? It is. And I really think both of us have to get better at this.

[India]

Orion's so good at it.

[Drew]

Oh, but Orion's so good at it. But Orion bends over back to do everything herself. And that's why she's the hermit.

[India]

We do that same.

[Drew]

But that's what I was going to say is like, we all, like everyone we know, takes on tasks that we know are things that could get done maybe sometimes even better. I think we're all extremely good at what we do. But like, not. Maybe not better, but faster if we just ask for help. Fapper.

[India]

Yeah.

[Drew]

And we don't ask for help. And I do that with everything. That's why I've been doing with sewing. I haven't looked up a single video on how to sew something. And I've been making. Because I'm just going to time off.

[India]

Show the crown that you made. No, we'll insert a picture if you want. It's so cute. And I also. I've started. So like, I've. I've been painting for years and I kind of keep it a secret from everyone because showing off. No, I've. I literally.

[Drew]

I'm kidding.

[India]

I literally keep it a secret because, like, once I post it online, I just like fall out of love with whatever I'm doing. So I started painting in privacy. And I have always been so scared of oil paint. Like, oil paint freaks me the out. Like, I never thought I could do it. And then I started my first oil painting piece last week. Two weeks ago. And why did no one tell me that oil paint Is lit. Like, I know.

[Drew]

It is so fun. I only started oil painting because of you, but I'm still really bad at it because I have absolutely no patience. I'm not waiting for this to dry. What do you mean? It's gonna take, like, hours to dry. You're really good at it. Drew will do his little layer and walk around the house and like, pass the time. I will do the layer and stand up for two seconds and come back and touch it and feel it's wet.

[India]

And be like, you'll make mud. But like that the tea is really do make mud. Makes mud on the canvas. It's crazy, but he is. Is. You're not supposed to like, paint the whole painting. Like, you're not supposed to paint a layer and then paint a layer. Paint a layer. You're supposed to like, do brush strokes. But I don't know. I. What I do is I water down the oil paint until it becomes like, literally just watercolor. And I paint with oil paint. Like it's watercolor.

[Drew]

That's, I think, essentially what I do. And I do it because I saw you do it. So then I just thought that's how you do it. Because I'm not looking it up. I'm not looking it up. Give me the fucking shit. And if it happens, it happens. And if I can't do it, then it's not meant to be. I don't post my art. Why are you wearing my fucking shoes? Give me my shoes.

[India]

I just thought I looked pretty in them.

[Drew]

Give me.

[India]

No.

[Drew]

Give me my fucking shoes, you freak.

[India]

I just like the way your feet feel on my feet.

[Kai]

Even close to delicate enough to fit in those.

[India]

Delicate.

[Drew]

Kai, back up about my feet.

[India]

Don't talk about in's feet.

[Kai]

Well, okay, if you frame it like that, I guess, but.

[Drew]

Well, yes.

[India]

Well, no, I was.

[Kai]

We'll insert the video here.

[India]

Yeah, insert the video.

[Drew]

I got it on video. I was watching.

[India]

No, the craziest thing of all time is. And you witnessed it. I realized how chopped I am. Like two days ago, I literally started, like crashing out. Like, it was really bad. A 26 year old man saying, realize how chopped I was. I started crashing out. Like, can I shut the fuck up? Like, oh my God. But no, I like, freaked out. Like, I saw me for me for who I really am for the first time the other day.

[Drew]

In what?

[India]

Like, just every photo I've ever posted, every video of me on my phone. Like, I started going on a deep dive and I was like, oh, my God, everyone lies to me. I'm chopped. I'm crazy.

[Drew]

That can be how you feel. Because, like, I am the most fake insecure person ever. Because at the end of the day, I do think I'm hot. I know I will say, and I will look at my TikToks and my IG and my pics and I'm like, damn. I just like, casually walk through life that bad? Like, I'm literally Michael Jackson bad.

[India]

Oh, what? But, like, wait, you're bad Like Michael Jackson?

[Drew]

No, no, no, no.

[India]

What do you do that's close to Michael Jackson? Why would you compare yourself to Michael Jackson?

[Drew]

I'm a fucking pop stars and I make the girls go crazy.

[India]

Yeah, the little girls.

[Drew]

Little girl.

[India]

Well. Oh, this is something else I wanted to bring up. That, like, literally was driving me insane. But yes, we fucking moved. Like. Like what? Like. Like what? Like we weren't trying to hide it. If we were gonna hide it from y' all, we would have done a good job at hiding.

[Drew]

We're just overwhelmed and, like, we don't have the time to just, in the middle of a move, do the. Here I go. Fucking doing the set.

[India]

I know. Literally.

[Drew]

Look at this shit. What? Like, I literally can't. Like, I don't wanna. But with that being said, you won't see us for a while. Yeah, yeah.

[Kai]

I'm just checking to make sure it's recording. I'm just doing my job.

[Drew]

Oh, yeah, no, because you almost knocked it over.

[Kai]

Yeah, everything looks perfect from here. If you guys ever get ugly and fall off, I'll tell you and I'll quit. So.

[India]

Okay.

[Kai]

That's how you'll know.

[India]

Okay. Literally perfect.

[Drew]

Waiting for an ugly person to identify another ugly person is way too difficult.

[India]

Way so.

[Drew]

We can't do that.

[Kai]

Who's that?

[Drew]

You can't.

[India]

Other ugly. The ugly person.

[Drew]

No, that's what I'm saying. But Kai can't, like, be looking out for us to turn ugly. Like, he'll let it get far past that.

[Kai]

This actually isn't funny because I am actually ugly.

[India]

Yeah.

[Drew]

All like three people who know they're good looking being, like, I'm so.

[India]

No, I genuinely. I genuinely. I'm not kidding. I look at myself and I actually think I'm heinous. I'm not. It's not a bit.

[Kai]

It's not a bit skin melting and rotting.

[Drew]

Yeah, well, it depends on the time of the day for me. Like, it really depends. Like, yeah, I. I do have days. I can't lie. Like, even princesses have their days. Like, some days I Do see a mirror, and it sends a shiver down my back that I can only assume epidural will would be able to.

[India]

Like, India's new bathroom is haunted. It's like, it is a cursed space.

[Drew]

I think literally lock her mind in there because it's pushing me. But, like, in the best way. In, like, a weird, like, sadistic.

[India]

It's very Chuck E. Cheese coated.

[Drew]

Okay, chill.

[India]

Not too much on my bath.

[Drew]

Not too much of my bathroom. I spent a lot of time in there, but is really, really freaky. That bathroom is, like. I just go through phases with it. Like, sometimes I love it, but, like.

[India]

Oh, sometimes, like, that's. That's where I realized how chopped I was. But then I go to my.

[Drew]

Also, because it has these really old mirrors with very specific lighting in there. I had to put one of those tulip shades over one of the light fixtures because it used to be even brighter in there somehow, but it is covered in mirrors. Whatever. Crazy. Honestly, God bless, because it did something positive for my ego to see myself from all ang cuz I was like, you know what? Like, I'm good looking. Like, I can chill, but on days when I don't feel like that, I don't need to see.

[Kai]

I think your bathroom's cool. I. I like that it looks like a McDonald's playpen.

[Drew]

Like, seriously, chill on my.

[India]

And I have just, like, the most beautiful bathroom. We each have our own bathrooms, which is so.

[Drew]

It's really, really, really goated.

[India]

But I. I felt, like, literally just got v. Buck saying that it's terrifying how much time I spend in the bathroom. Like, I literally, like, anytime y' all are like, hey, Drew, like, you have a question for me? I'm so insecure because I'm literally always in the bathroom. Like, every time anybody's come to my room, I'm, like, just chilling in the bathroom.

[Drew]

But I know that about you. Like, I know you like to spend time in the back.

[India]

Yeah, it's. It's a given and take is so good. It's a given and take because India's room is, like, nice, cozy, warm, beautiful. Like, stunning, gorgeous. Her bathroom is terrifying. Like, deep, guttural pits of hell. Like, really.

[Drew]

Okay, guys, seriously, because, like, not too much on my bathroom because it's a vibe sometimes.

[India]

My bathroom is gorgeous. Beautiful. Stunning. Bright light, skinny.

[Kai]

And soft light. Yeah, soft light. You have, like, this very harsh overhead.

[Drew]

No, there's no shadows. Not a shadow in sight in the bathroom. Like, it's really eerie.

[India]

But my bedroom is a Dungeness pit that is cold and literally leaking.

[Drew]

Well, to be fair, because, okay, I have never lived in a house with like a banging ass heater. Like, I've never. I've never had to live in a location. Like, our last place, we had a heater, but it sucked, so we just had to freeze. Like, you had to freeze now. This place has good heaters. I don't give a. And, but like, granted, I. I think I'm gonna really be brought back to reality when I see that first bill because I've never lived in a place with a heater. And Drew is very frugal and very responsible and yells at all of us about the heaters. So he would rather be cold and miserable than just.

[India]

No, I just get under a heated blanket and put a hoodie on and like, literally I'm so dad coded with the heater. But I'm like, just wait. Our bill is gonna be like four grand. It's gonna be so. It's gonna be terrible.

[Drew]

There's no way.

[India]

It's. No, no, it's going to be expensive. I mean, like, it's. It's going to be mad expensive. But we'll. We'll see, we'll see, we'll see. But yeah, we moved. Lovely house.

[Drew]

Like, you'll never.

[India]

You'll never get a house tour. I'll say that right now. You'll never see the insides of our house. You might be able to in the YouTube video I have coming out soon.

[Drew]

But also to be clear, because, like, although flattered, I don't own anything, okay? There's not a single thing in my life other than the clothes I've gotten off.

[India]

Like my also, we're renting. We did not buy a home.

[Drew]

That's what I'm saying. Everybody has. He just like, we bought. And I've been doing this really bad thing. Cuz it's specifically. It's older adults.

[India]

I do it with older adults.

[Drew]

Been talking to me and been like, oh my God, congrats on the house. Like, when did you buy? And I don't know how to be like, girl, I'm renting.

[India]

Like, yeah, we did not buy a house.

[Drew]

So I just lie. So there are a lot of old people. A lot of old people think I own a house. A lot of old people also, this is the first time I've lived in a neighborhood. Hi. Jesus fucking cry.

[Kai]

I was sending you something. I was sending you to the group chat so you could look at it and I would interrupt and then I still fucking interrupted because I suck.

[India]

Honestly, India, you know what tea is like, you know, that, like, I think something.

[Drew]

Wait, what is tea? I don't know what tea is.

[India]

It's. This is tea. So what? We know, but start doing tea. What we should start doing is instead of wet T shirt contests, we should do wet brain contest, where you, like, finger the girl's mind by making her read books and seeing how, like, intelligent she is.

[Drew]

Aren't brains technically always wet? Like, everything in your body is kind of technically always wet.

[India]

Yeah, but I just want to see the inside of a woman's brain, not her boobs.

[Drew]

Like, you want to get to know the character of her soul.

[India]

Exactly. You verbalized it perfectly.

[Drew]

You really are that kind of man. Like, Drew just doesn't see, like. Like, women as objects. He sees them as beings.

[India]

Yeah, exactly. Also something else.

[Drew]

Isn't it crazy? That is, like, a real sentence that probably has to be said in a lot of places of the us like, on girl just being like, guys, I swear he's normal. Like, he doesn't think you're just a hole. Like, he. Like, he sees people, like, normal.

[India]

And you know what else just dropped. Speaking of men thinking of holes or whatever, you said there's a new tick that came out that makes you allergic to meat, but, yeah, my memory is going, like, very rapidly. My brain is deteriorating at, like, an alarming rate. Like, I don't remember telling. It's specifically with Josiah for some reason. I don't know when he's here and when he's not here, and I don't know what I've told him and what I haven't told him, and I'll tell him something, and he's like, dude, I was literally, like, with you. Or like, dude, you've told me that three times now.

[Drew]

You have. You have.

[India]

Oh, my God. I did it with you. I did it with you.

[Drew]

I have been forgetting a lot of thing.

[India]

What was it with you?

[Drew]

Me? It was. Wait, wait, wait, wait. You told me about some interaction you had, and then literally, like, 30 minutes later, we were in the car and you retold it. I can't remember the interaction, but I know it was with, like, a woman. It was, like, a funny interaction you had, and you just retold it to me twice, and I thought you were crying.

[India]

I literally almost started crying. It was so scary.

[Drew]

We got to get you on some memory games. Like, what can we do to, like, get your memory up?

[India]

Dude, this. This memory game that I want to play is suck on Indian Kai's toes challenge and play with her boobs. And dick and balls and vagina challenge. It's apparently really good for, like, minds that are going away.

[Kai]

Is that it helps?

[Drew]

Is that what they do with people? Is that what they be doing?

[India]

Yeah, I hear that. I hear that in the.

[Kai]

Dude, I mean, if it helps, I'm down. Yeah, you want to do that right now? And we could film it.

[Drew]

Yeah, like, men's toes are fudgeing. Disgusting.

[Kai]

Mine are nice.

[Drew]

That is so gross.

[India]

The man that wants to play with my feet.

[Drew]

That's a vibe, though. Getting your feet played with is a vibe. Like, I get that, but, like, ew, A man's foot. Oh, are you gonna have to cut that?

[India]

We'll bleep it.

[Drew]

Oh, my God, I'm so upset.

[India]

And we'll bleep this. We'll bleep the first.

[Kai]

When he said, I'll bleep it again.

[India]

I guess y' all just know.

[Drew]

Just know, Just know, just know, just know.

[India]

A lot has happened in the last eight hours of my life.

[Drew]

Like, I know serious movie action over here for Drew. It literally sounds fake. When he first was telling me all the things that happened to you, I genuinely thought you were trolling me. I was like, damn, he gets really bored nowadays.

[India]

The most, like, movie plot, like, kismet, chance encounter, like, situation ever. And I will not go into detail because I. I really. I can't even say, just know. It's crazy. And nothing like, this has ever happened to me in my entire life. And I'm just having fun. And I was telling India, like, I.

[Drew]

Mean, my girl is being love bombed down.

[India]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Like, it's all. It's all in the name of, like, fun.

[India]

That's what I was telling India. I was like, honestly, like, I just, like, need to get it over with, and I need to be in, like, a toxic, like, relationship where we're, like, yelling at each other, and I'm like, come home to India. And I'm, like, really sad. And I'm like. And, yeah, bro, like, my man, he just, like, screamed at me. And, like, I just. I yelled back and I lost control, and, like, it was so horrible.

[Drew]

Imagine a world. Like, the amount of times you've seen me crash out over relationship.

[India]

And, like, I wouldn't.

[Drew]

Situation.

[India]

I don't even. I literally think I've never yelled in my life.

[Drew]

I don't think that's what you think.

[India]

Have I ever yelled?

[Drew]

Like, I've heard you yell.

[India]

Really?

[Kai]

I've never heard you yell.

[India]

Oh, but my yelling. I know what you're talking about.

[Drew]

It's Like, I haven't. I haven't heard you yell at a person before.

[India]

Yeah, it's like yelling into the void about a situation that's happening.

[Drew]

Direct it at anybody.

[India]

Yeah, But I was like, I need to be in a toxic relationship. Like, I'm not kidding. Like, I really.

[Kai]

You should.

[Drew]

I mean, chicken noodle soup is good for the soul.

[India]

Yeah, exactly.

[Drew]

Like, the sad truth is we all got to get it done. Like, we all got to.

[India]

You got to go through it.

[Drew]

It sucks. It sucks, girl. Like, I feel that way, too. We feel that way together. But it happens. Has to happen.

[India]

And I'm like, has to happen. It should just be. Oh, yeah. Also, I did, like, a bunch of.

[Drew]

Like, people were just better people. It quite literally does.

[India]

It doesn't have to happen.

[Drew]

But most people suck dick and balls from the back.

[India]

They're all evil. They're all evil. But I did a lot of, like, soul searching recently and just like, thinking.

[Drew]

Crazy.

[India]

Is it really crazy you're doing soul searching? It's going to make me insecure. No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

[Drew]

It's going to make me realistic, basically, like, every day is a search for my soul. Like, every day is a journey to search for my soul.

[India]

Well, I could. I could. I almost said I could verbalize it different, but you were probably going to make fun of me for that, too. I could word it. I could.

[Kai]

Oh, my God. Painting yourself as the victim. Of course.

[Drew]

You are. Literally, you are my toxic relationship. Oh, I need to be in one. I'm right.

[India]

Yeah, we're toxic to each other. But I. What I was gonna say is I was doing a lot of soul searching. But I'll rephrase it. I was thinking a lot about the past hookups that I've had when I was literally a fucking child and how fucking crazy. How crazy that shit was. I just realized things.

[Drew]

Yeah. I would say. I think also, it is just so interesting to see somebody go through. I mean, I have a lot of friends who are our age, especially because of the. Again, I hate saying, like, this, but dating nowadays, it genuinely. Like, it's so annoying. But really, it is an a decision issue or, like, too many decisions leads to, like, no decision at all. And I feel like a lot of people are having that in terms of romantic. But also, I'm sorry. I don't know if, like, I am just really lucky and I really, really, really, really, really need to chill with saying this, but I genuinely think it's because most people are, too, to just say, like, can you speak your mind. That's like, can you seriously just say, what the is up?

[India]

What topics you got over there, babe? What do you got to talk about?

[Drew]

Well, I have. I've been doing a lot of soul searching as well, but mainly in terms of. Also, I swear I'm not making fun of you, because I know.

[India]

I know, I know. I'm.

[Drew]

I'm Every time my life is going into Drew's room every night and saying some shit that I feel like I just found out about life and yelling it on a tangent to Drew about it. And really what I'm talking about is, like. Like, I had a good day today because I got flowers. Okay.

[India]

Like, buying flowers are alive once. Really? No, legitimately, y' all. If y' all want to have a good day, go and buy fresh flowers for yourself and make a bouquet.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[India]

Like. And then make a bukake or whatever you want to call it, because that really, really made me so happy.

[Drew]

Set off the. Like, yesterday. Not to brag. I had the perfect day. I had the perfect day. I. I woke up and had therapy. Then we went to the farmer's market and got flowers. We came home, I cleaned the kitchen as a good wife would do on a Sunday morning. Praise the Lord.

[India]

Good wife. More like a good female. Keep going, woman.

[Drew]

I'm a female, and a female is a bitch, and a bitch is a female dog, and dogs are the most loyal, and dog is a man's best friend.

[India]

Like, what is that whole thing?

[Drew]

I've never heard that before, but you've never heard that.

[India]

I know boys are stupid and go to Jupiter or whatever.

[Drew]

It's when a guy would call you bitch in school and you'd be like, yeah, well, bitches are female dogs. And dogs are, like, the most loyal animals to man. So you're actually a fudgeing idiot, because I'm literally the smart. Like, it was some stupid shit. I wonder if anybody else did that or if, like, that my friends made up. Because there was a lot of shit like that that I said as a kid. And I'm realizing I have had the disease from a very young age where Rain has pointed this out and we all do it to each other, but we will just start quoting things to each other, and it's not from anything. It literally is just a random thing. We. Like the Hazal thing. I don't know where. I don't know why I quote it.

[India]

I. I quote it from the girl in the grocery store that sees a rat on this stack of sodas. Yeah, that one and then badoinka doink came from bazinga and huzzah. Like, I wanted my own catchphrase. Badoinka doink. Yo, can we make that a thing? Like, damn.

[Drew]

No, I, I.

[India]

Can we get that trending?

[Drew]

I don't think Bedoinka doink. Gaff. Gaff got a little bit of traction.

[India]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Like, I'm still gaffing all over the place all the time.

[India]

Yeah.

[Drew]

So, like, I'm gaff. I have a gaffitude to me. If you are driving reckless with a baby on board sign. How about this? Fudge you and that fudgeing baby. I don't give a fuck about the baby on board, because if you're driving recklessly with that fuck ass sticker on your car, why do I have to care about your baby? You don't give a fuck about the baby. I'm going to go off the road.

[India]

I'm going to break your laptop.

[Drew]

What?

[India]

Oh, have I not premiered these? I haven't debuted yet.

[Drew]

You have.

[India]

Oh, my God, Kai, that's so good of you to bring up. Do you have them?

[Kai]

I have them.

[India]

Yeah. Can. Can we watch them? So I'll give a little backstory. T is I made these videos. Backstory completed.

[Drew]

No, he was in a badass mood. So this. This is the kind of yelling Drew gets up.

[India]

Yeah, I was. I was in a. Like, I wasn't in a bad mood, but I was in this, like, like, mental purgatory, like, where I, like, really was like, oh, like, none of this is real. I can just, like, do whatever the fuck I want, like, if I wanted to. I, like, scream at people, like, what? And so I made all these videos while I was driving and listening to the Challenger soundtrack.

[Drew]

You're so stupid. Why am I being left on screen alone?

[Kai]

I sent him to the. To the group chat.

[Drew]

So you guys know he just wants to be next to you.

[Kai]

Oh, yeah, he's all right. Here's the video, guys.

[E]

Go. Oh, my God.

[Drew]

Go.

[E]

What are you waiting for? People have places to go, jobs to. I have a family to feed. You're gonna make me lay.

[India]

That like that?

[Drew]

I really. It's not done, y' all.

[India]

It's not done, y' all.

[Drew]

Whoa.

[E]

Whoa.

[Drew]

Oh, my God.

[E]

You almost killed me. What the.

[Drew]

Oh.

[E]

I want to find your family pulling out in front of me.

[India]

No. What the. The crazy thing about these videos is they completely derailed my day because I was like, we were moving while we were doing them, and it literally, like, it put me in such a weird headspace. And my throat hurt. I literally tasted blood. Like after is tasted a word. I tasted blood.

[Kai]

Yeah, yeah. That's a word.

[India]

That's a word. I tasted blood.

[Drew]

I thought you were saying you tasted a word. I was like, wow.

[Kai]

I was just thinking at the beginning. You saying. I don't know if I've ever yelled.

[India]

No, I feel like.

[Drew]

Seriously yelled, like, yelling at people. I feel like, ow, motherfucker.

[India]

The thing is crashing out. The hang. It all is crashing out right now. Level crash out. This is another one.

[Drew]

The lighting looks crazy, by the way.

[India]

This is when y' all haven't. Y' all haven't seen that one?

[Drew]

Wa. No. I literally love them.

[India]

Wait, I'm going to do one more. I have another one somewhere. We saw this one. Oh, wait. Maybe this is.

[Drew]

The fact that there's so many.

[E]

Oh, my God. Go. I have a family to feed. They're gonna starve to death because you're gonna make me late to my job. God damn.

[Drew]

You know what's crazy is yesterday work.

[Kai]

These days, you don't sound like you.

[India]

I know.

[Kai]

It's like a pet.

[India]

It's really creepy.

[Kai]

Did you feel good after that?

[India]

No, it ruined my day.

[Kai]

I feel like I. I had the realization that I had never screamed over the course of, like, 15 years, like, since I was, like, a little boy.

[Drew]

Yeah. I don't think I've ever heard you be loud.

[India]

You haven't been loud ever? Once.

[Kai]

And I. I tried because, like, I was at my sister's house.

[India]

Wait, scream right now?

[Kai]

No.

[Drew]

No way. Why?

[Kai]

It's gonna. It's gonna. It is. So I screamed at my sister's house because I was just there alone. It's like a house in the middle of nowhere. And I lost my voice for, like, two days, like, immediately.

[India]

Well, those are. Those, like. Those are those 48 year old vocal cords.

[Kai]

No, they're not 48. I think my vocal cords just don't have the, like, muscles to do that.

[India]

Yeah, I mean, because I wore them bitches out.

[Drew]

Whoa.

[Kai]

It's true.

[India]

Yeah.

[Drew]

You looking around?

[Kai]

It's true. I gave Drew the type of head where he has to wipe his ass after.

[Drew]

Ew. Come on. Well, I love screaming. And if I couldn't scream anymore, I would kill myself. I love raising my voice.

[India]

One thing about Anya, she's gonna raise her voice.

[Drew]

Yeah. I don't have any volume control. My dad is the loudest. My mom and dad are the loudest people I have ever heard in my life. And up until recently, I never thought of how loud I was and how much I took that from them. When I went back home recently, my little sister was like, like oh my God. When you talk you're just like mom and dad. You like scream when you talk. You're always so loud. Like Never let a 16 year old perceive you and then tell you directly to your face how they're perceiving it. Because that did something to my core. I have, I feel like if you even go back on episodes. I have been trying my best to watch my volume since she said that.

[India]

But you haven't been trying hard enough.

[Kai]

Oh my God.

[Drew]

Well, to be fair, I think my ears got blown out. I can't lie like in my head right now. I'm having like a very, very like I, I like to me, I'm like.

[India]

At a dude in his ears are so bad. Like she's fully, she's fully like hard hearing at this point. Like we'll be driving in the car and like the music will be like the loudest music I've ever heard in my life. And she's like, do you mind if I like turn it up a lot more? Because like I can barely hear this and I'm like in your. You're actually.

[Drew]

No, I. I definitely do. Like unironically. I think I. It's specifically my right ear. I think I blew it out. I have like a constant just like, like small ringing in this ear. And this ear always feels like someone has a bowl over this side of my head. Like I can hear out of it.

[India]

It's clogged earwax probably.

[Drew]

Yeah. I need to go get my ears.

[India]

You should get them cleaned.

[Drew]

I clean my ears all the time, guys. But you know what I got told last time I went to go get my ears checked. I'm one of those evil people who. I clean my ears actually hurt my ear because I like, I get like really freaky about it.

[India]

Like because I'm so scared.

[Drew]

Well, because I hate, I'm so scared of having dirty ears. Because I will never forget when I was like 7, I watched my godmom clean my godbrother's ears in the pick in the back of their pickup truck. Sitting outside in broad daylight. So imagine like Miami sun in the middle of the summer. We were all running around. It was like the kid I was closest in age to and she. Oh my God, this is actually such a sweet memory. She would clean her kids ears and then clean our ears. So we would all take turns and she would like clean our ears. But one time I watched her Clean my godbrother's ears. And I'm not even like, oh, like, gross. Like a sight to remember, like, genuinely from that moment on. I have been using Q tips in my ears since I was way too young. I would sneak into my parents bathroom and clean my ears because seeing that scared me so bad. And also it made me laugh so hard at him that I was petrified of ever being humiliated like that. Because literally, imagine, like, the most, like, annoying kids you could imagine. Me and my God siblings. Like, I got so blessed because our, like, God family setup was exactly like our family setup. So there was like a middle girl, a younger boy, and like an older brother. And that was like, basically the same as our family, except it was a younger sister. But, like, all of the correct ages got along so well. So it's like all these kids who are mirroring each other. We lived across the street from each other, so we were all so similar. Imagine me and a bunch of little other badass elementary kids, students watching you get your ears cleaned and it's dirty. Like, it was like humiliation ritual. So basically, long winded story to say.

[India]

That that happened to me with Dan Drift.

[Drew]

Dandruff?

[India]

Yeah. I was the kid I had dandruff in, like, I think it was like fifth grade or something. Oh, no.

[Drew]

For some reason, having dandruff as a kid was really.

[India]

It was the worst thing that's ever happened to me in my entire life. We were sitting in, like, the gymnasium, like, like at a pep rally or like, where teachers were talking at us and we were sitting in the stand.

[Drew]

His teachers were talking?

[India]

Yeah. And like, my friend, he was literally trying to impress, like, these girls that we were friends with. And he, like, just like, blatantly just pointed out, like, that I had dandruff, like, really bad dandruff, and rewired my brain in a way that, like, I still have not recovered from. And if I see dandruff, like, it's, it's like, it's literally a thing that just happens. Like, people can control it. It's, it's. It's not a big deal.

[Drew]

But like me, because I'm in my.

[India]

Dandruff era, anytime I dandruff on someone, I like, really want to tell them or like, whatever. But I'm like, I kept making those faces because I thought about, like, when I was younger, I literally. It's like, like chewing on Q tips.

[Drew]

Oh, I thought you were about to say dandruff.

[India]

No, I was like, drew, no, like, chewing on like not used Q tips, just like regular Q tips and that, like cotton, like scrunching in your teeth.

[Drew]

Why were you chewing on Q tips?

[India]

I, I, I'm not kidding. I think I had like pika or some. Because I would eat paper and like chew, I would chew on like wood and so crazy.

[Drew]

I was definitely, yeah, I guess I was putting random like weird into my stomach that I shouldn't have been putting in there. I was trying to think of how to say that without sounding crazy because yeah, we've, but we've talked about this. I used to eat chargers. I used to eat Android chargers. Android chargers were the best. Like they were literally the best. And then that just makes me really think about who I am as a person today. And I'm like, damn, I wonder if I was low key just sending micro, like I was kind of just electrocuting myself. That's what I liked. Cuz the charger had to be plugged in. It had to be plugged in to get that taste. And the taste in question was literally electrocution. Like it was literally like it would zap the end of my.

[India]

We really used to just lick 9 volt batteries. Like do kids still do that? Like that shit was lit.

[Drew]

I know. Like I don't think they do as much anymore. And what's, no, that's, that literally isn't true. A child's curiosity doesn't change. There's just more things to be curious about. Like I'm sure because when I remember when we, when Madeline was talking about baby proofing the house, I thought we were past that time. Like what? We stuff the baby proof the house. Like what is the baby getting into? But then I look at the floor and I'm like, yeah, we could kill at least three infants with the amount of tiny things.

[India]

They would just crawl in here and die.

[Drew]

But I'm gonna kill myself.

[India]

Thank God.

[Kai]

Did you see what I said in the group chat?

[India]

Thank God.

[Drew]

He's like obsessed with texting us today. Weirdest.

[Kai]

I'm trying to not be intrusive to your guys's energy but also send you stuff.

[India]

Wait, oh yeah, you need to talk about the movie that you're in.

[Kai]

Oh yeah, I'm in a movie.

[India]

Kai's in a.

[Drew]

Wait, I thought we were going to talk about your painting.

[India]

Oh, we can talk about that like this.

[Drew]

But wait, what movie?

[Kai]

I got a comment on a tick tock and it was like, I'm not saying the name of the movie but oh my God, it was like you're in this You're a part of, like, you're a dating app profile in this movie. And I was like, I don't know anything about that.

[India]

Must be a doppelganger.

[Kai]

I looked it up, and this movie that's, like, on streaming services, and I'm not fucking saying the name of it.

[Drew]

Wait, is this real?

[Kai]

This is real. I am like. They use my photo, and she's like. I think she's, like, a girl that, like, meets up with guys and kills them through dating apps or something. But I was one of the profiles that she, like, swiped.

[India]

It's like, literally his picture. It's him. The one standing in the stairwell.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Oh, so small claims courted in.

[India]

Exactly.

[Kai]

And the reason. Well, I'm not even mad about that. I'm not even mad about that. The reason why I'm angry is because they put my age as 30, and that's really.

[India]

Wow. That's really.

[Drew]

I mean, that's your age.

[India]

No, it's not. Don't say that about him.

[Kai]

Yeah, technically, that's my biological age, but I have, like, the mind of a very young guy.

[India]

Yeah, he's a very young, chill guy.

[Drew]

So you're, like, super amateur, immature and stuff or like, what.

[India]

Yeah, exactly.

[Drew]

Did she swipe on you? Did you get.

[Kai]

Oh, I didn't even think about that. She didn't.

[Drew]

Yeah, you got. You got literally, like, publicly and say, ew. Yeah, they use. Not only did they use your photo without your consent, but they publicly were.

[Kai]

Like, I see them for not swiping right. And putting my age. Actual age.

[India]

If you just, like, change the movie where she swipes on me, I won't sue you.

[Drew]

Yeah, just edit it should do that. Yeah, I'm pretty sure, like. Yeah, just have them AI it.

[Kai]

I. I got really. I got mad and I crashed out.

[India]

I was tweaking out.

[Drew]

It sucks, too, because, like, if I was in the movie, they probably would have been like. They probably would have just found my picture naturally, because I'm so, like, popular and whatnot, and then been like, oh, my God, this girl is so goodlooking. But this just doesn't work because we wouldn't swipe on her. We would want her in the movie, so then I would be in the movie.

[Kai]

Yeah, that's.

[Drew]

But that's the difference between us also.

[India]

The T is. Is me, and then you're in euphoria.

[Kai]

We're. I don't think we're supposed to talk about that.

[India]

No, they. They tweeted about it.

[Drew]

Who's we?

[Kai]

Us. All of us.

[Drew]

Were directed this season of.

[Kai]

Yeah, I directed it.

[Drew]

And he wrote it.

[Kai]

I wrote it. Yeah. I actually did, like, a weird power play, and I kicked Sam Levinson out. And now.

[India]

Good.

[Drew]

I mean, you won.

[Kai]

I won.

[Drew]

You ate him up.

[India]

Yeah. We got casted in euphoria as roost trip sitters. People were being so shady in the comments. They were like, yeah, cast it as the janitors.

[Drew]

That would be a vibe. Oh, my God. I started watching Abbott elementary, and because of that janitor. I would love to be the janitor. That's, like, the perfect character for me to play. Like, I just show up, and I say something, and then I disappear for the rest of the episode. That's, like, in my head. That's my ideal role to play in a show. I just want to be on a show and have no. Like, I. You don't even need to give me much. I just want to, like, be passing. Like, I don't want to have a purpose. Like, I really just want to be, like, a room filler, but, like, a kind of consistent room filler.

[India]

Isn't Abbott elementary so good?

[Drew]

It is so fucking.

[India]

There's not enough conversation around how perfect of a TV show.

[Drew]

I need to start it from the beginning because I started watching random episodes because I hadn't seen it before, and, fuck, I kind of fucked up. And I watched, like, I watched some of their best episodes because I literally just looked up what were the best episodes. Cause I feel like I'm so behind on shows in general. I don't know why I did that. I really. I mean, it's kind of Rain's fault. Loki. So that's rainfall. Because she was like, this is a really good episode, but also that I just know certain people. I'm the kind of person who. I like to watch a show from top to bottom, but that's me.

[India]

Top and bottom from.

[Kai]

Oh, are you bringing that up?

[Drew]

Show from Drew to Kai.

[India]

Yeah. Thank God. Yep.

[Kai]

That was good.

[Drew]

I just put my finger in my mouth and then touched you.

[Kai]

What we were gonna say before. So, Drew, you know I'm always saying that your body is a work of art. I'm trying to compliment you.

[Drew]

So what's up? Is, like, the way y' all interact is genuinely kind of just the way y' all talk to each other. I think I've heard y' all have, like, two normal conversations.

[India]

Well, no, no, no.

[Drew]

Every time y' all are texting each other, I'll be like, oh, what made you laugh? Like, what are you laughing about? And it's Some weird. You sent him. Or vice versa.

[India]

No, I was speaking Kai's language. Language.

[Drew]

Oh, wait, yeah. And you learned. Is that your Valentine's Day?

[India]

Yeah, that's his native tongue.

[Kai]

A pig snort. I just don't understand.

[Drew]

Wait, what is he saying?

[Kai]

Kai saying, like, what are you talking about? Like, what's the next topic of the podcast? But it doesn't matter. That's. I think he's being mean.

[Drew]

That's actually.

[India]

Is that not sweet?

[Drew]

He went out and he learned your language. Oh, duolingo. Well, I have carpenter ants, so. Thanks, guys. That's why I didn't want to say anything about the move, because I have carpenter every. I wake up every morning to buzzing sounds.

[Kai]

What does that mean? You have the wood?

[Drew]

It's like. Yeah.

[India]

Also literally. Or tell them how sexy of a man I am. Like, I'm like, a real. Oh.

[Drew]

Oh, no, I actually did.

[India]

I am a real.

[Drew]

Like, this. This is, like, a compliment to both of us in my head. But I will start with you.

[India]

I. I'm like, a real man.

[Drew]

People genuinely ask how me and Drew work so well together, and it is because there are just certain roles we play in each other's lives that we take that role and we accept. Like, even when it annoys you or I. I'm. I might just be speaking for you because he. He does, like, a lot of, like, house. Like, Drew will take care of a house. Like, this is a man who. He will tend to the house. We are kind of like the.

[E]

What?

[Drew]

What's that? Like, hot couple. Levi and.

[India]

Oh, William William.

[Drew]

Me saying Levi and Coraline. That's just her name.

[India]

Like, I was just stalking them yesterday. They're such a vibe, bro.

[Drew]

But, like, we are that, but minus the cooking. That's not happening, actually. No. My man cooked me. Oh, wait. I literally cooked a yummy ass pasta. I got the it up.

[India]

I got the exterminators coming in tomorrow to get her ants out, and I cooked her a pasta dinner. But you made the salad.

[Drew]

My man. My man. But I genuinely think we only work so well together because you do that kind of shit. And then I do. I actually don't know what I do.

[India]

You don't do much. No, I'm kidding. You do a lot.

[Drew]

I clean the rest of the house. I keep. I keep the house tidy.

[India]

I, like, clean your room four times a day.

[Drew]

Yeah, my OCD in that room has really gotten to me, Guys. I pay girls captain every night. The ghost of this house tells me to clean.

[India]

I know. Literally can't stop and like it's, it'll be like 2am and I'll like be like cozy in bed, about to fall asleep and I'll be like, like, like falling into sleep like this. And then it'll hear a broom go. Cuz she's right above me. I hear everything from in ev. Literally everything. Every aul footstep.

[Drew]

Have you heard unwanted sounds?

[India]

No, I haven't. I haven't heard that yet.

[Kai]

But.

[India]

In'S very heavy footed. She's very, very heavy footed. She stomps around. She's heavy footed.

[Drew]

Are you not in your head?

[India]

Yes. No, I'm not kidding. I'm kidding.

[Drew]

Seriously, nothing graceful about me.

[E]

Like, I don't know what I'm gonna do.

[India]

No, you can turn it on and off, but no. And you stop for long and you stomps in her room.

[Drew]

My, my like gracefulness battery is the equivalent to when you buy an old digital camera and you use flash three times. Like that's like the amount in which I can hold myself to be classy.

[India]

Yeah, but yeah, in, yeah, like you're not heavy footed. You just walk on your heels.

[Drew]

No, I'm heavy footed. Yeah, I, I stomp around and, and I, and I try and I really like. What's up is I try to try sometimes. Well, it also doesn't help because like, I've said this before and it's the corniest thing ever, blah, blah, blah. But y' all, seriously, if more people just listen to a song on repeat that they really liked and dance around their room, I think everybody would be happy. And that doesn't help for you because I blast my music and I stomp around my room like I really am the noise maker.

[India]

And yeah, it's like the annoying roommate.

[Drew]

But I do such good things.

[India]

You do amazing things.

[Drew]

Like, I got a table.

[India]

Two and.

[Drew]

I got us a bunch of rugs. I have to show them.

[India]

No, you didn't. I haven't seen them yet. Well, I found out that I'm tongue tied.

[Kai]

Damn. They thought that was funny.

[India]

As I know I got the whole neighborhood laughing. Yeah, I found out I'm tongue tied. And that's probably why I like, like miss words all the time.

[Kai]

Oh, that's a medical term.

[India]

Yeah, there's like this like line, like basically if you open your mouth all the way, like as wide as you can go, and then try to touch the roof of your mouth with your tongue. If you can't touch the roof of your mouth with your tongue, you're tongue tied.

[Drew]

I'm not.

[Kai]

Oh, I am tongue tied then. I can't do that.

[India]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Oh, God. Jesus Christ. That's so nasty.

[India]

Wait, why?

[Drew]

Y' all really just are so weird. Like, y' all are weird people.

[Kai]

Why is that weird?

[Drew]

Do you have white tongue?

[India]

You have to blur my tongue. I just have a pale tongue. I swear.

[Drew]

I have a really pale tongue. I've been smoking too long. I. I feel like. Do you know what? I feel like some people have smoker's tongue. And I really need to stop smoking so much because I. I'm. I'm pushing it, and I just don't think you could get that medically done.

[Kai]

Does my tongue look weird?

[India]

Ew, Kai, like, do that in front of the camera. Why are you running? Is this weird, y' all?

[Drew]

Kai, whatever anxiety medicine you're on now is working too well. Like, I'm kidding, though. That was mean. You are you today. You are such a ray of sunshine.

[Kai]

Thank you. And I blessing, even if I have anxiety, why would I keep my gift from people and show them that I can do stuff like that?

[India]

Yeah. And. Yeah, that was really crazy.

[Kai]

Yeah, that's actually crazy.

[Drew]

It's so.

[Kai]

A lot of people think that that's cool that I can do that.

[India]

It is awesome. And I know everyone agrees.

[Drew]

I made the roof of my mouth like it. I feel like I tickled my. Like, that area. Do you know what I mean? Like now, like, it is. Yeah. Because I was like. Like touching it.

[India]

Yeah. When I pet a cat and their whiskers, like, touch my forearm, I feel it on the roof of my mouth. I don't know how to describe it.

[Kai]

Huh. That's really weird.

[India]

And if some. If. If someone presses my belly button, I feel it in my penis tip.

[Kai]

That.

[Drew]

Well, that's like.

[Kai]

That happens to me too.

[Drew]

Yeah, I feel that. I feel that way too. We feel that way together.

[India]

Yeah, we feel that way together.

[Drew]

No, when I touch my belly button, it kind of hurts. Oh.

[Kai]

What? I. I was gonna say before, but then you interrupted me rudely.

[India]

Oh, get out. Actually, hold this.

[Kai]

Huh?

[Drew]

Yeah. You got him. Come on. Oh, my God.

[Kai]

I've never been hit there before. Drew just slapped me in the gooch. And honestly, I didn't hate it. What I was going to say was that your body is. It's tea. It's a piece of art, and somebody put it in a gallery.

[India]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Someone painted me. Guys. Someone did a big oil painting. Did their big one with it. I love a good. I love a good oil painting. Like, oil. I love a good. Do I say oil oil.

[Drew]

I love good oil pain.

[India]

I like, had to cut oil oil for my vocab because I realized I literally did lose my Texas accent because I used to say, like, oh, I have to put oil in my car oil. Someone painted me.

[Drew]

Knocked out.

[India]

Knocked out on the front, which it honestly is beautiful. It is a beautiful painting. And also, there's, like, a lot of meaning behind.

[Drew]

I know. I was gonna say because that was like the last night you ever drank. Like, that's on video.

[India]

Yeah, it's like. It's an iconic moment. It's like a. It's a. A lens into my. It's a lens into my sobriety. Wait, Kai, what's their name?

[Drew]

Jena or Ayana.

[India]

We'll flash it on the screen.

[Drew]

I've never seen that name. Beautiful name girl.

[India]

Gorgeous, gorgeous gowns. But shout out to you. That painting was lit so good.

[Drew]

Also, how long did it take? Because I really don't understand how you can make an oil painting that big.

[India]

Because I have no idea. But we'll insert the IG account.

[Drew]

Well, if. When I'm old, if I ever see a video of myself being recorded by a younger person from far away and they're pitting me online, I'm not kidding, I will go out of my way and do meth and kill that person with my bare hands. Because let me find out, anybody is just like pitying me. In my head, my ideal situation is somehow I have grandkids, but they're probably not my grandkids. They're like yalls grandkids, which makes than my grandkids. And I'd be down for them to record me because I'm funny. Like the right, right lady. Like, that's a vibe. But if you see me struggling.

[India]

Did you know that's a bit up? Did you know the right. Right was a bit or.

[Drew]

Yeah, I know. It's like a whole video they recorded and then the.

[India]

Yeah, they cut.

[Drew]

Yeah, they like cut it up. But that's what I'm saying. She's like, still such a funny lady. If I'm struggling to pick something up and instead of helping me, your piece of ass is filming me. The amount of tiktoks I see like that have, like.

[India]

Like, oh, poor old person.

[Drew]

And it's like them trying to put something in their car. Go help them. Like, literally. Why are you recording them?

[India]

Yeah, no, I'm gonna be like my grandkids. Like holy grail. Like, I'm gonna be like that one grandma on Tik Tok that like her Grandkid like, feeds her lines to say that's what they're. I'm just gonna be so geriatric and, like, rotted by then that, like, I'm just gonna be saying, like, all of the young slang and, like, crashing out.

[Drew]

I'm gonna be like baddy Winkle. Which actually, can someone please tell me, like, if Baddie is still alive? Because I like, I reference her a lot and I looked it up recently and I couldn't find any updated photos of her. So I don't know. And if Baddie Winkle isn't here with us anymore, honestly, it does make me sad. That is like, that does make me sad. Because, like, Granny Winkle. I always say Baddie Winkle. It's Granny Wink.

[India]

Granny Winkle. No, I think it's Batty Winkle.

[Drew]

Something like that. It's some weird ass name. And honestly, let me find out. Almighty or oh, my weekend or whatever. The didn't cut her the fattest check ever because I'm beating everybody up. Because that was the girl. She was literally the poster girl for.

[India]

She was cleaning out teen girls.

[Drew]

Like, she's kind of lit for that.

[India]

Yeah. And the last thing. No, I'll bring up is we obviously filmed the episode in Big surprise for last week and it was beautiful.

[Drew]

No, that was. We weren't in Big Sur. We were in. What's it called? We were in Paris, Texas.

[India]

Yeah, we were in Paris, Texas.

[Drew]

It was beautiful.

[India]

It was beautiful. But in Big Sur, I crashed out. I had. I had like a real life, like, like seeing red moment. And I won't go into too much detail, but basically I was trying to be nice to someone and I asked them about the weather because there was a really gnarly weather storm coming in. And I was just like, oh, like, just making sure she knew. Making sure, like, we were on the same page.

[Drew]

So we both grew up in places that were affected by extreme weather. And that is a casual thing. Like when a hurricane was about to hit Miami, when you go to Publix to get something and be like, oh, like, like, how are you feeling for the storm? Are you ready? Like, is everything good? Like, you've been keeping up with it?

[India]

Like, so I just was making casual conversation. I mean, I should have known better because from the jump, she did not get out of my city. You don't belong.

[Drew]

Yeah, she did not.

[India]

Yeah, it was. It was really gnarly. And like, there was a moment where I tried to like. Or she. She asked me how I wanted to pay and I was like, oh, do you do Apple Tap? Because literally I had my wallet and I had cash and a card in there, but it was literally stuck in my back pocket and I had to like, take my pants off to get my wallet out. So I was like, hopefully she takes Apple Pay. Because I know she's going to be so mad if I, like, try to get that out. Yeah, I struggle. And so I go to like, tap, because it says, you can tap now. And she pushes my hand and phone out of the way. And then she's like, you tap when I tell you to tap. And I was like, okay. And then like a second later she's like, okay, tap now I tap. She also said I was like, do you take Apple Pay? And she was like, unfortunately, which is just such bad energy. But I'm still trying to kill her with kindness. I'm still trying to be nice. And I talked to her about the weather and she muttered something under her breath, like super angrily, like really mad. And I was like, oh, God, what'd you say? And she was like. And I was like, what? And she said. I said, check the Doppler. I'm not your Doppler radar. And I was like, oh, in that moment I'd like, saw red. And like, I was, I was so.

[Drew]

I'm gonna beat this up.

[India]

Yeah, I know literally that one audio. And y' all, like, I said heinous, heinous things. Not directly to this woman, but an earshot of this woman. And I, like, I said some really vile, hateful things that I regret. But, like, don't be mean to me. I was just being so nice. I was literally, like, having such a good day.

[Drew]

I'm about to beat this up.

[India]

I'm about to beat this up. Literally, I'm about to beat this.

[Drew]

I remember thinking, I'm about to beat this up.

[India]

I'm about to beat this up. But yeah, and like, I was like, probably 30 yards away, like, saying these things so she could hear because Enya and Josh had gone to the library, like right next door. And yeah, yeah, I know she already.

[Drew]

Didn'T with our vibe. Like the second we pulled up, it was. It was this weird ass gas station that still has you, like, pump your gas and then you pay. Which I am so sorry she. Because she kept saying, oh, like old fashioned times. And that's when I knew her funky ass was being weird for no reason because that's the first thing she said. She was like, oh, like the old times, like the way it's supposed to.

[India]

She was so shady. From the jump? Yeah, because I went up to pay and she was like, no, you pump first. Like the old fashioned times. Well I like I, I, I snap back before I like crash out and I'm like, sorry, I was just trying to make like casual conversation. Sorry. And then she was like, she like kind of like reset a little bit and was like, oh, I was being mean. And then she turned it up to level 10 and was like, well you do know this weather like affects real lives and like we're, we're, our lives are actually affected by this weather up here. And she just like, like went off on me for like 30 seconds about it and then I was just like whatever. And I just like walked away. And then she knew she up because as we were driving away she like tries to like make things right and she goes, she looks at, looks at me and I'm making eye contact with her the whole time because I'm like, she, I wish I could like show you how mean she was to me, but I really don't want to go there because it actually still affects me. I wish shaking in anger as we were driving away like that and she like knew she up. And so she looks at me and she's like. And I keep staring at her and she's trying to wave at me and then she's like, cuz I'm not waving back, like don't play with me.

[Drew]

Well also I think cuz you were upset and then she, I think she got scared when me and Josh came back because she heard you telling us what had happened. And I think in her head she was like, oof, I'm about to have to prep to like go against like 320 something year old. But here I go arguing with a like you ill. You nasty, putrid, nasty, bitter negative.

[India]

Here I go arguing with a with rotten meth teeth.

[Drew]

No, literally also don't play with a lot I think should be passed not actually not law. I'm just gonna start doing it. I think this summer I'm gonna push old mean white people into a well.

[India]

That's.

[Drew]

That to me sounds like a correct punishment for evil nasty white people is like not the kind of well that's going to kill you, but I want a well with enough water to like to cushion your fall a little bit. And you don't really have to swim while you're down there and waiting for help. But I really want to tell old white people to go look into a well and then push them in it. And I want it to be like a Spring day, I want it to be beautiful outside, but the sun to be perfectly pointed so that when they fall in the well, the sun is shining directly on them. So they get sunburned on the top half of their body that's not being saved by water. Protected by water. And then the hot summer sun is so hot, though, that it evaporates the water while it's above them. And then, like, it's a place in the US where it gets really cold at night, so then they have to be freezing and soaked and sunburned.

[India]

I.

[Drew]

That is correct punishment.

[India]

I think I fully, fully, fully, fully, fully support that.

[Drew]

Yeah. Like, is that not perfect? Next time you piss me off, I'm going to literally get a well built in my room. Like. Like that goes down to your bedroom. And when you're in my room, I'm going to push you into the well, and you have to stay there until I lock. Unlock the door from the other side.

[India]

That is a vibe, bro. Okay, like what?

[Drew]

It's just like. Is it though? Cuz it's like, not.

[India]

I think it's a vibe. I like swimming.

[Drew]

I think I want to rip your shirt off with my teeth.

[India]

Your period? Just that.

[Drew]

And play with you.

[India]

Thank you. Thank you. Sorry, y' all. That really. I just started.

[Drew]

I know it put you back in that.

[India]

It really put me back in the place. And so I have to lift ourselves out of it with some psyops.

[Drew]

You should just lift yourself out of it.

[India]

It's Drew S up. It's s. Wait. It's Drew s up. Psy up. It's Drew s up. Drew Sigh up. Drew S up.

[Drew]

Drew S. Were you practicing? Did you practice that?

[India]

I just was coming up with it on the spot.

[Drew]

Oh.

[India]

It was pretty good though, right?

[Drew]

I mean, you kept, like. It sounded like you were messing up.

[India]

But Do I gotta dress up as a vape to get sucked on around here?

[Drew]

Yeah.

[India]

Men out here wearing Nike head to toe with a dick that just can't do it.

[Drew]

That's good. That's good.

[India]

No car, but you're going around telling everybody's business. Okay, walkie talkie. That's just a certified classic.

[Drew]

That was just you for the first four years of being in la.

[India]

Wait, this is such a certified classic that, like, I can't believe I haven't said yet. Why? Why does McDonald's sprite taste like a screenshot? If butt isn't supposed to be 8, then why is it already cut in half off?

[Drew]

Shut the up.

[India]

This homeless man's sign said one day it could be you. So I put my dollar back in my pocket just in case the was right.

[Drew]

I think my bones are crack. Like, are done. Does that make sense? Like, the way my, like, cartilage cracks in all of my joints. I'm cooked.

[India]

We clock the tea we think we deserve.

[Drew]

Shut the up.

[India]

Unemployed people always want to fight. Go punch a clock and knock out eight hours.

[Drew]

That was good.

[India]

I'm so jealous of people who know how to shut up. I shut up, and subtitles come out of my face. Okay, I'll do. I'll find one more.

[Drew]

I have a talking disease. I think something's wrong with me.

[India]

You. You. You have a talking disease?

[Drew]

I literally do. I'm the first woman to have the talking disease. Can you believe they would just kill bitches who talked as much as me in the olden days? Like, I would be dead a long time ago. They'd be like, all right, we got to get this bitch out of here.

[India]

I can't get over the fact that the word gullible backwards spells cat.

[Drew]

You're so annoying.

[India]

Whatever. That's all I got. No.

[Drew]

Didn't Josh give you a good one yesterday?

[India]

Oh, he said Mr. Beast. More like Mr. Boast. That guy's so full of himself. And then I bet I countered back and said, Mr. Beast. More like Mr. Least he's giving away all his money.

[Drew]

Mr. Beast. Like, on a real note, Mr. Beast. I hate that.

[India]

We need to make a Mr. Beast dish track.

[Drew]

Oh, coming soon.

[India]

Yeah, we'll debut it when we come back.

[Drew]

Oh, my God. Guys, we are not gonna see each other for a while.

[India]

They have no idea.

[Drew]

We're leaving you guys for a month.

[India]

Unironically, not a bit. Yeah, I need some time.

[Drew]

I need some space from you. It's not you.

[India]

It's not you. It's us.

[Drew]

Yeah, it's us.

[India]

And I mean, you are really toxic and hateful and mean to me, and you yell in my face, but. But I like that.

[Drew]

Yeah, Sometimes I need that, so that's okay. But, like, you just, like, you like me too much, and I don't really feel like I can handle that right now. So I think I need to, like, not talk to you for a month. Let's go. A month, no contact. And then you're gonna. You're gonna be like, oh, my God. Month, no contact. But you're gonna see everything I post and be like, I wish we could talk. And then I'm gonna be back in a month, and you're gonna, like, like, get like, a dopamine rush. Like, I'm back. So I am. I love you though. And I love you so much. And I'm really going to miss you and like, you mean the most to me and I'm not love bombing you, but I just can't be around you because you're a lot right now.

[India]

Right now.

[Drew]

Just right now. But I'll definitely be back in a month because I'm going to need my ego brushed up and boosted. So please be here in a month.

[India]

Month.

[Drew]

Please, please, please. Because I love you.

[India]

Legitimately though, we are taking a month off or like three weeks or something like that.

[Drew]

I don't.

[India]

I don't know the exact amount of time. Three episodes. But we'll be back. We just need to recuperate. We've had stressful, stressful few months. Like not even work. Work has been chill, but just in real life. And we got some things that we need to take care of and handle with, with our families and our. Our friends and our relationships. So we'll be back. We'll be back.

[Drew]

I'm back and I'm better. Want you bad as ever.

[India]

Sex with me.

[Drew]

Amazing.

[India]

Media though, right? Sorry for killing the vibe at the very end.

[Drew]

Oh, I know.

[Kai]

I.

[Drew]

It was like a. A. Like a breakup. We kind of just had our closure talk because at the beginning, maybe we started it and then we kind of brushed over it because we didn't want to remind each other why we were here.

[India]

Yeah. But maybe we clip it and put it in the beginning.

[Drew]

Just break your heart early.

[India]

Yeah. Just get over with because no one's gonna see that. No. Does anybody watch the end?

[Kai]

If you watching at this point, we can do whatever we want.

[India]

If you watch right now, comment. Poopy, poopy. But in the comments. Oh my God. Booby poopy butt.

[Drew]

Okay. But yeah, I will. It will be sad, but it will be worth it. Me. Thanks. The break.

[India]

Yeah. I thought I was gonna cry saying it because there's. There's a lot of emotions behind it. I haven't cried on the podcast since Meline. I looked at Meline and she was a mother. I need to cry on here again.

[Drew]

This fun thing where like I cry only in huge explosions now. I don't do my casual crying the way I used to. Media, media.

[India]

I got LV sandals by D.J. s kid. Or S. D.J. kid. Or S.D. kid. Jesus Christ. The winner is from the Little Miss Sun Sign soundtrack. The Little Miss on side top telephono TA to condo by D.J. yeah, I don't know. I Don't know what the lyrics are to this song, so they could be very problematic, but I love this song.

[Drew]

Oh, this shit's Brazilian or what?

[India]

Yeah, Portuguese.

[Drew]

I'm really just letting it play and looking at this cover because it's easily the worst cover I've ever seen, bro.

[India]

Let me show. Oh, I have a SoundCloud playlist, which is so insane to say in 2025, but Violet made it for me. It was like her. It's all her Brazilian DJ music that she played in Japan. And the covers of those songs are the most insane things I've ever seen in my entire life.

[Drew]

Like, that's when you know the song is about to be good.

[India]

Yeah, it's like, literally hole in the. Hole in the wall, restaurant vibes. Like, it's like the good sticky menu vibes. Yeah. Sticky mini vibes. Wait, I watched something that I was like, oh, I need to talk about that, but it doesn't matter.

[Kai]

Well, my media of the week is.

[Drew]

I didn't even do mine yet, Kai. So back up.

[India]

Back the the up.

[Kai]

I'm sorry, Kai.

[India]

Back the up from Enya.

[Drew]

What did I watch? Oh, I started Taxi. I watched Taxi. That was cool. But, y' all. Or Taxi Driver. What's that one with the guy crashing out over some cooch? What is that? What is it? What is. What is it? Taxi Driver.

[Kai]

I don't know.

[Drew]

It's a boy movie.

[Kai]

Could be a lot of movies. Oh, Taxi Driver is a boy movie.

[Drew]

Yeah, I just saw that for the first time. Y' all are too much. Like, boys are too much. It did take me two days to finish. Obviously it was gorgeous. But, like, one thing about me is I don't give a. About a man's crash out. Like, a man's crash out is just so less inspiring to me. But it was such a good movie. And also De Niro and the blonde girl, the. The one he was crashing out over. Girl, I would crash out too. Like, I guess I would crash out too. So I can't even really hold him. So that was a good movie. I saw another boy movie. Oh, I started the Master. I feel like that's a boy movie. I couldn't.

[Kai]

Good, though.

[Drew]

I couldn't finish it, really. I. I got like an hour and 30 in, but I was really sleepy because I think I sleep. I watched a movie before that. I watched something before that, and then I watched that. I was just like, oh, no. Oh. I literally think I watched Wicked. And then I was like, time to put myself to sleep. So I put the master on. But I have to finish it. I've gotten into a really bad habit of starting movies and not finish them, which was a bad habit I got into as a teenager. And I'm back to that. Like, I have watched Paprika Papa.

[India]

That is the one movie I will literally never finish. And I know it's amaz amazing, but that movie puts me like. It's a narcotic. It is literally, like, it gives me narcolepsy. It gives me necrophiliac. Like, it's so crazy. Like, I just start dead people, you know?

[Drew]

What's up is the other night I slept in Drew's bed, and he heard my knees cracking while we were going to bed. And he, like, literally shut up from his sleep. And he was like, was that your knee? And I said, yes. And it's made me conscious, self conscious about how loud my, like, knees crack. My knees crack.

[India]

Crazy. I've never heard that before or since. So that was just. That was a really.

[Drew]

Every night I like. I like, do this or I like clench here and then my knees crack a bunch. And it feels so good. But I know that's bad, right?

[India]

I. I think popping joints is okay.

[Drew]

I really wish, like.

[India]

But there's different types of cracks. Like in my knee. I have scar tissue from my knee surgery. And that. That is not good. I think I have, like a bruise. Put a permanently bruised meniscus, but swear.

[Drew]

I know what that is. Well, I guess I'll miss you guys. I guess I actually will because I. I like talking.

[India]

You know, I love our.

[Drew]

But I need to take a break from talking so my talking can get better.

[India]

I love, like, the. I've been seeing a bunch of tik toks recently of people being like, bro, I feel like I'm in the room with them and like, I'll be like, laughing and then I'll like, in my head, like, like, want to chime in. And they can't chime in because it's like they're on the other side of the screen. Babe, chime in, record yourself recording it, and then have a conversation with us and upload that to Tik Tok. No, Someone legitimately should do that and start an account. Like those one boys that do the talking talk to us. They should do that with emergency intercom. But it's like, just pause, adding in. Yeah, adding into the conversation and then playing if you. That's a million dollar idea. Whoever's out there is great.

[Drew]

Thank you guys so much for watching. We will see you soon. And I hope you're here when I get back. And if you're not, honestly, I understand. But you're a for moving on. Because literally, you couldn't just wait for me.

[India]

You couldn't wait.

[Drew]

You couldn't just wait while I go around and I do whatever I want and I don't talk to you for three weeks. God, you're a. Oh, no, but seriously, please be here when I come back.

[India]

And nothing is gonna change, by the way. Like, we're not, like, building a space.

[Drew]

Oh, yeah, don't get too excited.

[India]

Yeah. Like, we're, we're really. It's like, it's purely for us.

[Drew]

It's for our mental.

[Ryan Seacrest]

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