Faith over fear

Summary

Emergency Intercom – "Faith Over Fear"

Hosts: Enya Umanzor, Drew Phillips
Release Date: August 20, 2025
Podcast Network: iHeartPodcasts

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Episode Overview

This lively, meandering episode of Emergency Intercom finds Enya, Drew, and frequent guest/host Kai in their usual loose, comedic mode, swapping stories about mental health, sobriety, pop culture, and everyday mishaps. Despite the comedic tone and chaotic tangents, themes of navigating adulthood, addiction (both serious and playful), relationships (platonic and romantic), and self-acceptance emerge. The podcasters bounce between vulnerable admissions and playful banter, offering the audience both relatable moments and zany humor.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Rehab, Sobriety, and Society’s Relationship with Drugs

• [01:53–08:45]
• The hosts dive into a tongue-in-cheek, but occasionally sincere, discussion of rehab culture and substance use.
  • Kai jokes about “running hot” lately due to SSRIs and marijuana.
  • Drew pokes fun at the idea of podcasting from rehab: "Those episodes are gonna go crazy" [02:09].
  • Anya recounts growing up affected by the opioid epidemic—how celebrity rehabs would deeply impact her:

    “Any artist that was outwardly going through addiction genuinely affected me in a way that was so understood. It was so real for me.” [02:32]

  • Reflection on how society normalizes being medicated—SSRIs, coffee, even food: "No one is sober. I've not met a single person who is, like, sober." – Anya [08:11]
  • Kai equates caffeine to the ultimate gateway drug, describing addictive behaviors around it:

    "I drink two sips and I get lifted to a plane of existence… like I literally just did coke." [09:32]

  • Anya critiques the casualness around everyday addictions:

    “Don’t talk to me before my coffee… you sound a lot like an alcoholic to me.” [10:45]

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2. Body Image, Cosmetic Work, and Online Pressures

• [03:56–04:52, 12:16–15:01]
• Anya opens up about feeling pressure to get cosmetic work, but is deterred by bad experiences and laziness.
  • “I am a purist… I think I'll be the test dummy who goes wrong.” [04:06]
• Peer ribbing about Botox and revealing insecurities about glasses and wrinkles.
  • “Without something on my face, I will stay forever scrunching my eyebrows…” [13:58]

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3. Gender, Identity, and Social Roles

• [15:08–23:20]
• Playful, sometimes dark hypotheticals about switching genders and societal expectations.
  • Anya:

    "If I woke up as a man, kill myself. I would. I'm not kidding." [15:39]

  • Discussion around how being a middle-aged woman gets you into statistically “awesome” (dangerous) situations, with a sardonic take on true crime:

    "What's cool about being a woman is every single year of my life, I'm a part of an awesome statistic…" – Anya [23:06]

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4. Pop Culture Debacles: Food Sneaking and Movie Mishaps

• [28:10–35:03]
• Hilarious account of the group’s attempts to smuggle dinner and snacks into an AMC theater.
  • Anya: “I had a game plan…I got buns instead of dumplings…buns I could put in my pocket.” [29:55]
  • Multiple confrontations with theater staff, shaming over food choices, and comparisons to “Tater tots from Napoleon Dynamite” [29:57], escalating into pure farce with accusations of smuggling “guns inside about buns” [32:51].

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5. Relationships: Platonic, Romantic, and Otherwise

• [20:25–22:56, 51:26–61:16]
• The hosts jokingly (and sincerely) analyze their relationship dynamics.
  • Discussion of who is “the girl” and “the boy” in their various pairings.
  • Kai and Drew elaborate on the “inevitable” low point that will bring them together “like two eagles…plummet towards earth…if they don’t bust, they die” [21:05].
  • Vulnerable reflection about platonic soulmates:

    “But, yeah, we are soul mates. I don't think people realize…like, truly, truly realize that. Yeah, we complete each other.” – Kai [52:13]

  • Practice of sharing thoughtful, specific compliments:

    “You are a useful human being by nature, and you're very nice and sweet.” – Anya to Kai [61:09] "You're a genuinely very magnetic person…people are truly attracted to you in a way...very rare." – Drew to Kai [54:09]

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6. Pop & Internet Culture Opinions

• [36:33–47:21]
• Reaction to a viral and “scary” breakup video from a famous Instagram gay couple “Probably This.”
  • Kai passionately details his emotional investment in their breakup:

    “It is the scariest video I've ever seen in my life…A 12 year relationship ending with a fist bump…” [40:08]

• Brief tangent on the meaning of “jabroni.”

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7. Random Humor, Tangents, and Memorable Quotes

• [Throughout]
• Reveling in the absurd: discussions about coffee, showering, odd eating habits, and random facts (e.g., ticks that cause meat allergy [48:21]).
• Notable comedic lines:
  • “Just cut yourself and starve. Like, if you're that desperate.” – Anya on diet drugs [05:07]
  • “Bbl bow bun. What's the L? … Lesbians.” – Kai and Anya [33:46]
  • “Instead of a wet T-shirt contest, we need a wet mind contest.” – Kai [48:13]

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8. Reflections, Compliments, and Growth

• [51:26–61:16]
• The hosts end the pod with genuine affirmations, recognizing how their friendships have changed them for the better and reinforced self-growth.
  • Anya: “I am a very harsh person. And when I met you, I feel like I was very against your existence because I just did not know you. And you are one of the very few and rare cases that not only have you proved me wrong about your character, but…you genuinely are constantly, like, so open to changing, and…wanting to just, like, be in a room and be of use…” [60:31]
  • Drew: “…I was, like, blown away by the diversity of interests you had… I was, like, very excited to hang out with this person…” [61:48]

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Notable Moments & Quotes

• On cultural drug use:

  "Everyone is on drugs. It's really, really fucking crazy." – Kai [07:59]

• On celebrity crises:

  "I didn't fully grasp what it meant for an artist to go to rehab or a celebrity to go to rehab, but I knew that it would affect my mood for the week." – Kai [02:56]

• On gender euphoria:

  "I just got gender euphoria from being called a girl low key. I'm not even kidding." – Kai [22:09]

• On viral video breakups:

  "A 12 year relationship ending with a fist bump and like having to reluctantly fist bump your partner that probably just like ruined and completely destabilized your life. Like something sinister happened…" – Kai [40:08]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:53] Substance use, rehab & personal stories
• [04:06] Cosmetic pressures / Botox conversation
• [08:03] Sincerity about “nobody sober” in modern society
• [09:32] Satirical ode to caffeine
• [15:39] Gender switching hypotheticals
• [23:06] Serial killers and women in statistics
• [28:13] Movie theater food smuggling fiasco
• [36:33] The “Probably This” breakup video analysis
• [48:21] Random trivia: ticks that make you allergic to meat
• [51:26] Heartfelt car conversation
• [54:09] Compliment circle / vulnerability
• [60:31] Anya’s reflection on Kai’s character

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Episode Tone & Takeaways

Faith over Fear is a perfect cross-section of Emergency Intercom’s ability to move from ridiculous banter to deeply honest moments, and back again. The tone stays irreverent, self-deprecating, and hyper-aware, with the kind of openness unique to friends with long, complex histories—equal parts “roast” and sincere.

Listeners are left with a sense that modern life is a chaotic parade of influences—drugs, social media, pop culture meltdown, shifting self-identity—but that humor, affection, and connection are the anchors to make sense of it all.

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Recommended for
Fans of messily honest chats, edgy and chaotic humor, confessional-style podcasting, and those who enjoy group dynamics with both biting wit and warmth.

Transcript

[Anya]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[Kai]

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[John Fry]

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[Anya]

Hi, we're back.

[Kai]

I feel so far away from you.

[Anya]

Today because you're not sitting on my lap.

[Kai]

Yeah, we were so close last night.

[Anya]

No, I'm honestly glad we're not doing that again this week because you were, like, overheating my body, like, and I already overheat. Really?

[Kai]

Like, I've been running hot recently.

[Anya]

I think since I started taking SSRIs and abusing marijuana. Like, I'm just. Like, my body is overheated forever. And that's a price I'm willing to pay for, like, my.

[Drew]

Have you picked a rehab yet?

[Kai]

No. No Passages in Malibu.

[Drew]

Those episodes are gonna go crazy.

[Anya]

They'll let us do episodes in rehab.

[Drew]

They take your phones away.

[Kai]

We'll fly in a drone.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

And we'll have, like, mics.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Magnetic Mike, who's we?

[Anya]

You don't have to go with me. If I go to rehab. It's a solo journey.

[Kai]

No, I'm going to fudgeing rehab and.

[Anya]

I'm never going to rehab.

[Kai]

They don't take me.

[Anya]

Have I. See, what's crazy is there was like a. A pocket of artists that. Because I was being personally affected by the opioid epidemic. Any artist that was outwardly going through addiction genuinely affected me in a way.

[Kai]

That was so understood. It was so real for me. I, like, full.

[Anya]

It was like, holy shit, this shit gets outside of these four walls.

[Kai]

Yeah. I didn't fully grasp, like, what it meant for an artist to go to rehab or a celebrity to go to rehab, but I knew that it was bad and it would affect my mood for the week. Like, it would. It would ruin my mood.

[Anya]

Well, I was like, actively partaking in a household where I was a child. And I understood, like, what it meant for someone to disappear into rehab. Like, literally like that. Like having that and then knowing. Because it's like, it's that fucking ser. This, like Demi posting on Facebook that she was in rehab. It's that serious. Like the day I remember so clearly. Also, if you're wondering why I'm wearing glasses, a lot of people I know have been, like, overly talking about the wrinkles in their face, and I've been like, now looking at my own, especially because, like, people online are so crazy and you're so used to seeing the beauty filter and like, Botox. Like, literally everyone has Botox. I am a purist, and the only sense that I have had no medical work done. And it's not out of any reason of thinking I'm better. It's literally, one, I think I'll be the. The test dummy who goes wrong.

[Kai]

You're the martyr.

[Anya]

Yeah, I'll be the martyr because every, like, cosmetic thing I've ever gotten done has gone wrong. And two, I'm too lazy. I can't even go to the doctor. Like, I can't even get myself to, like, right. I mean, Ozempic doesn't count.

[Kai]

Yeah. In oic.

[Anya]

No. But I don't take it. Everybody takes it for like, the. The weight thing. I. I've literally go back. I've said this before. I take it because it gives me a high. Something in the chemical and I don't. Where. Cuz where are you supposed to put it?

[Kai]

Also, I take it for the dementia, Alzheimer's effects. Well, because it clears your brain.

[Anya]

It gives you like a clear mind now and. Sure. Brain fog, dementia, whatever they want to call it is going to, like, hurt me later. From the. Also, I don't put my.

[Kai]

No, no, it makes it better.

[Anya]

Oh, it makes it better.

[Kai]

Oh, good.

[Anya]

Thank God. I put it in my. Almost like I kind of treat it like an epidural. Like I get between a spinal cord and that's where I put my Ozempic. I can't believe people are really stabbing themselves.

[Drew]

I know.

[Kai]

It's gonna be me with steroids.

[Anya]

Oh, just cut yourself and starve. Like, if you're that desperate.

[Drew]

I was diagnosed with a fat penis, so I have to take it for that.

[Kai]

Oh, that sucks.

[Anya]

What were we talking about before that?

[Kai]

Demi Lovato. Rehab.

[Anya]

Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. I remember that. Where I was with her. Like, her Facebook was updated with her location and that she was okay, but she was in rehab. And the tabloids were right. I was at, like, my dad's girlfriend's house at the time. And, like, she had a daughter who's, like, 16, and this had to have been when I was, like, 10 or 11, and me and my sister were watching Gorillaz videos, and then my, like, my dad's girlfriend's daughter came in the room, but she was like, my sister. Like, I'm just gonna refer to her as my sister. Like, my stepsister come. And she was like, oh, my God. Because she knew I didn'. Facebook. Like, I was too little to have Facebook in my space. But also she knew that I was, like, tapped in. Like, I got home from school, and the news was going in.

[Kai]

Like, where's the news in the media?

[Anya]

Where's the news in the media?

[Kai]

Like, that's what I've been talking about.

[Anya]

I got home from school, and I wanted to know what was happening on my block. I was like, I will know absolutely right now what is happening in my city.

[Kai]

Demi Lovato.

[Anya]

But Demi Lovato was a part of the conversation, and she updated me. And I remember going. And I remember the picture or, like, the post, and I remember the room. I. I remember, like, I remember it all too well. Like, I feel like Taylor Swift when.

[Kai]

She'S talking about, like, the version of that for me was Charlie Sheen when Charlie.

[Anya]

About Charlie Sheen.

[Kai]

Yes. Because Two and a Half Men was on my TV all day long. Not because I wanted to, but because I was forced. Yeah, exactly. And that, like, that whole arc was like. Like, probably the biggest pop culture moment in my life. Like, winning, like, all of that, like, that was special. Like, that was.

[Anya]

I remember him.

[Kai]

We need something like that. Should we do that? Should we be the ones that, like, loser?

[Anya]

I mean, I feel like people view us like that. Like, Charlie Sheen was viewed as a piece of drug addict, and now I guess, oh, sue me. Like, me too. I know there's nothing whatever. So that I am kind of in my Charlie Sheen a bit.

[Kai]

But, yeah, Charlie Sheen.

[Anya]

Charlie Sheen. Oh.

[Kai]

But I couldn't listen to rehab.

[Anya]

I couldn't listen to Amy. Rest in peace. I couldn't listen to Britney. Like, I didn't have, like, a Britney or, like, an Amy phase growing up because, like, I. They were so in the news as, like, women with mental illness and drug abuse. So I was like, okay, I'm turning on the TV to not think about my mom. I don't need to see my mom on tv. Like, I don't want that. So I didn't, like, listen to them. But I can't think of anybody as of recent.

[Kai]

Aaron Carter.

[Anya]

Did he die?

[Kai]

Moss, Winona Ryder, Ben Affleck, Eminem.

[Anya]

Okay, but see, now the problem is everyone's on drugs to everyone. Does that make sense? I'm like, this list is like, literally.

[Kai]

Everyone is on drugs. It's really, really fucking crazy.

[Anya]

I mean, everyone is on drugs also, because it is insane how many people are, like, just not sober at any waking moment. Because I. I personally. This is me personally, I consider, like, SSRIs and stuff not being sober because I'm like. That is like, really to me. Like, because I'm like, these are medicines I pick up. And literally, on the bottle, it's screaming at me that, like, my vyvanse may disrupt how I drive the. Like.

[Kai]

Well, yeah, vyvanse is like a controlled.

[Anya]

Substance, but, like an ssri, yeah, it's controlled as fuck. I can't get the shit over the counter. It's controlled to me, the fog. I can't instacart it. I got to go off and, like, beg a pharmacy to give me an SSRI so I don't kill myself. Like, they're like, oh, we ran out. Everyone. Everyone's on the kill themselves drugs now. Like, no, it's not. No one is sober. I've not met a single person who is, like, sober. But I guess I have. Like, I've been infected by, like, straight edge mind people. And, like, to me, I kind of do agree with that, though. But I guess I agree to me, like, ho, don't claim sober if you have caffeine pumping through your blood. Like, I don't give a fuck. You're not sober. You're a meth head. You're like, your level one meth head. It's like when you first open up fortnite for the new season. Caffeine is the bots they give you.

[Kai]

Yeah, caffeine is the real gateway drug, y'. All. I'm like, I'm. I'm finally starting to see the vision. Like, I've been like, Anti coffee.

[Anya]

Like for last gay guy on the planet to find out about.

[Kai]

No, literally, I like, I've been very like, no, I don't need that shit. I've drank a coffee a day at least, maybe even two for the last like week and a half. I really, really, really, really special. Like, I drink two sips and I get lifted to a plane of existence that like, I feel like I literally just did coke. Like, it's crazy. Like, I literally love that shit. Also, I did coke when I was 16, so I don't know what like it feels like now, but like a.

[Drew]

Seventh grader talking about coffee.

[Anya]

I know that sounds like. Also, we have to keep in mind he doesn't finish any of these coffees. Like, not once it gets to like about here and then it's done.

[Kai]

Well, because by then I'm like, I turn into a shell of a human being. I like lock into this like, plane of existence that like, literally, like I. I feel like I'm living in Silent Hill. Like, it's just like my. I'm bug eyed. Like, I was talking about it with India yesterday. Like I was driving like up on coffee and I was like, this is. It's actually making me.

[Anya]

Okay, so is my point being proven or. No, you're not in a sober state. Your mind is completely.

[Kai]

I agree. This is. This shit is like the heaviest drug.

[Anya]

Don't talk to me before my coffee. You're sound a lot like an alcoholic to me. Also, you're going to get the shakes and start screaming at me.

[Kai]

Literally. The way people like react when they don't have coffee in the morning is legitimately freaky. It's like, girl really is a drug.

[Anya]

Like, to me, caffeine is a drug.

[Kai]

Well, no, that's. That is like a common.

[Anya]

Okay, so it's. You're not sober. Ho. You're at the office tweaking off that.

[Kai]

It's actually a neurotransmitter.

[Anya]

Send me the weirdest email I've ever seen. Bitch, sober up the lock in. Like, you're tweaking. Oh my God. But.

[Kai]

But no caffeine feels good.

[Anya]

I don't think anybody is sober.

[Kai]

Also, like, well, I'm high on life, so, like, I'm not sober.

[Anya]

I'm high, period.

[Kai]

Actually, whatever the opposite of high is on life. That's what I am.

[Anya]

I'm degrading from this life.

[Kai]

Yeah, this. This life is beating my ass, y'. All. But it's only gonna get better from here.

[Anya]

No.

[Kai]

Yeah, me or her.

[Anya]

I have to choose one Her.

[Kai]

You.

[Drew]

Yeah, I'm not sober either.

[Kai]

I'm addicted to eating, munching on box.

[Drew]

I'm an eater and I have to go to rehab also for that. Whatever.

[Anya]

You only need to go to rehab when you found yourself surplus. No, in a surplus of the substance. Because yearning for the substance versus having.

[Kai]

It, then when you have it, that's.

[Anya]

When you go to rehab. You're eating a lot, you're battling your own demons.

[Drew]

I mean, I'm eating so much, my doctor is a word. I'm going to od.

[Anya]

Oh, I never finished why I have these stupid fucking glasses on one. I haven't had my seeing glasses for like four or five days, which I don't care because, like, I genuinely don't give a shit. Like, I don't do anything anyway.

[Kai]

It's affecting my life though. So you need to find them.

[Anya]

Yeah, because I can't drive.

[Kai]

I literally have to drive her around everywhere. I'm her little chauffeur. I drove us to and from Santa or San Diego, which, honestly, I love driving. I love driving. Like, am I the only person that loves driving?

[Anya]

You kind of do sound like a seven year old who, like, got switched with an adult body sometimes. Like, I love coffee. I love driving. Like, that's your vibe.

[Kai]

No, like, that coffee. Like, I'm not kidding. Like, I literally thought I was gonna kill us. Like, there were moments where I had zero thoughts in my head and I was like, oh, I don't want to feel like this. Like, I don't. I want this out of my body. I want to piss this out. Also, the way your piss smells after drinking a cup of coffee.

[Anya]

Like a tuna.

[Kai]

Disgusting. The way your mouth tastes.

[Anya]

Just like a tuna melt.

[Kai]

No, like the way your mouth tastes after drinking coffee. Like, you are fucking freaks. Because, like, this shit is disgusting. Like, I want it out of my mouth now.

[Anya]

You literally eat the most carcinogenic food the world has to offer for breakfast. Like, you don't. And you fall asleep without brushing your teeth. Pretty. So don't talk to me about tasting your mouth. Ho.

[Kai]

Don't even play in my face right now. I am a neurotic freak about my mouth.

[Anya]

No, you. But you do knock out all. Dude.

[Kai]

You're like, I brush my teeth every single time. No matter what I brush my face. I can't. I literally. Did you get this mad about, like.

[Anya]

A simple task, like bush. It's like, oh, if someone said, I don't shower, I'm not gonna be like, I shower every day. Oh, I. I'm wearing these stupid glasses because I don't have my seeing glasses. And without something on my face, I will stay forever scrunching my eyebrows. And yesterday, for the first time in a long time, at the end of the day from, like, squinting and I already make a lot of, like, rude faces naturally, so I scrunch my eyebrows a lot yesterday, the indentation down my forehead when we got home from being in the car and me trying to look out the window all day.

[Drew]

I've never noticed any wrinkles on your face, to be honest.

[Anya]

Thank you.

[Drew]

You're welcome.

[Kai]

That was nice.

[Drew]

That was nice.

[Kai]

I did kind of. I didn't mean it to come off as mean, but, like, I was taking pictures of you and I was like, stop throwing your brow. Because you were like, scowling.

[Anya]

You were like, dude, I just naturally. That's how. But also because I don't have my glasses. Like, it's just.

[Kai]

Don't talk to me before my glasses.

[Anya]

But I'm never gonna get Botox. Like, that can't. That can't be a thing.

[Drew]

I'm gonna get it.

[Kai]

I know. I kind of want to get it too.

[Drew]

Let's go get it. Let's get it.

[Kai]

I want to go. I also want to drive to Mexico City. Not Mexico City. I want to drive to Mexico and I want to give people big bear hugs with testosterone gel. And like, it gets on your skin and then you grow, like patches of like, body hair in those spots. Or like, when you're sleeping in you. I'm gonna lather you in testosterone gel when you're like, in bed next to me and I'm going to dose you full of test. It's going to be awesome. I'm going to force transition you. What's the first thing you would do if you woke up as a man?

[Anya]

Kill myself. I would. I'm not kidding. I would. Suicide all fucking day.

[Kai]

Well, that's not an option.

[Anya]

I wake up in the body of a straight guy. Like, a straight CIS guy.

[Drew]

A straight CIS guy?

[Anya]

Yeah, dude. I don't know.

[Kai]

White and white.

[Anya]

I'm going to do Uber deliveries and make sure that nobody says meet at the door.

[Kai]

You don't want to be seen. I don't want wanted that picture of the girl like, in the floor of her tub screaming, like when the Uber delivery, like, knocks on the door and won't drop your food off. And it's like.

[Anya]

That'S even at the idea of being seen. You know, in the original Fantastic Four, when the guy gets turned into the thing and he's like checking up on his gorgeous wife and being a little freak in the bushes. And a trench coat. That would be me living in the white CIS straight guy's body for a day. Like, I would want to see my friend and yearn for their love, but I would never want to interrupt their livelihoods with my presence.

[Kai]

If I woke up a woman, I would, I would buy a gun. Because men are scary.

[Anya]

I want a gun. I do, I do. But I think I'd kill myself on like a weird day. Like, if I woke up feeling weird and then someone called me or left me a stupid voicemail or a text or like, called me in the middle of something important, I would kill myself.

[Kai]

Yeah, y' all won't let me buy a gun because you're scared of what I'll do with it.

[Anya]

Yeah. Also, like, it's that and it'll just.

[Kai]

Be used against me. Someone will like, break in and grab it out of my hand.

[Anya]

If I'm being so honest. And I'm not saying this because I, I feel the same way for me, because I don't think you'd actually do something to yourself because we, you live with people and you have common decency in that respect. Not to say that people kill themselves with people present in the house. You know what, like, you do what you got to do. Like, that's a different conversation. But I don't think you would do that. I would be more concerned of someone just getting to it before you used it. Because you've talked so many times about how you like grabbed a knife and you'd even hold onto it for self protection measures. When that guy came into the old apartment and broke in, you just threw it back in. Like to not even keep that gun.

[Kai]

And he watched me throw it in the sink. He could have just grabbed it.

[Anya]

Yeah, he could have literally just. And that's exactly what would happen with the gun.

[Kai]

No, I would blast someone away.

[Anya]

No, I think I would kill myself with it. But like, not even. And I don't mean that in like a sad way. And literally just like I, I, my like, brain rests more in suicidal ideation. Just because that's naturally like my upbringing like that, that's just like, that's the base of it. Like, I talked to my therapist about it. Don't pity me. I'm almost 30. I'm fine. But like, that's just where I live. And like, I don't know, I think I would really get it, like, even if someone just like, made me annoyed and I, like, I Was like, you pissed me off so bad, I'm going to shoot myself. Like, I could see myself just grabbing it out of boredom, honestly, and playing with it.

[Kai]

Next. Next conversation. Next. I think we need to hit up Nardoir about the Epstein list.

[Drew]

Yeah, he's gonna, he's gonna get to the bottom.

[Anya]

He's gonna bust it open.

[Kai]

Yeah. I think just the way he like speaks to musicians and finds dirt on musicians, I think he could find the Epstein list.

[Anya]

What does he have Nardwar? Like.

[Kai]

Autism.

[Anya]

Oh, yeah. But do you think, like, I, I sometimes I can't tell if he's like playing up a character if that's him. Like, what?

[Drew]

I don't think he's. I don't think it's a character.

[Kai]

I think he's just that.

[Drew]

Yeah, I think he's probably leaning into his quirks.

[Anya]

That seriously makes me so happy.

[Drew]

Yeah, it's cute.

[Kai]

Yeah. Nardwar.

[Anya]

Well, he's not gonna expose the Epstein list because then who does he have left to interview?

[Kai]

Literally, like, oh, okay. Any of that was all of you? No, I've been in some freaky ass rooms, y'. All.

[Anya]

I'm gonna start hitting people. I don't give a. Like, I am at such a weird.

[Kai]

The way K. Just looking at Inya was insane.

[Drew]

No, we're not gonna do this.

[Kai]

It was like he was falling in love.

[Drew]

I wasn't falling in love.

[Anya]

Only fall so much deeper.

[Kai]

Like that was crazy. I've never seen someone look at someone like that before.

[Drew]

I wasn't. I was just listening. She was saying something funny and I was laughing and smiling at it. It was funny.

[Anya]

How long have you had that shirt?

[Drew]

This is. I've had my Hulk shirt for three years.

[Kai]

I like that shirt on you.

[Drew]

Thank you.

[Anya]

Yeah, it's a good shirt.

[Drew]

Yeah. I like the silhouette that it creates on my body. Gives me an hourglass silhouette.

[Kai]

It falls on your body like a 6 foot 2, 125 pound skater boy with a size 26 waist.

[Drew]

AKA yeah, the perfect body. Oh, also, me and Drew went to Heimat and we worked out together.

[Kai]

Oh my God. Yeah, it was freaky. And we also like posed in the mirror.

[Drew]

Like, we were like, we were flexing and stuff.

[Anya]

Now you guys are like, really. The dance you guys do with each other in this lifetime is genuinely amazing to witness.

[Kai]

Like, one day it'll happen in like 10, five, 10 years.

[Drew]

It's gonna happen in six years. I. I genuinely feel that.

[Kai]

I think, I think it's gonna be crazy. We'll be. We'll both be caught at a low moment.

[Drew]

It's. Yeah, it'll be very low moment, but it'll be beautiful and horrifying. Like when two eagles come together and they plummet towards us.

[Kai]

Oh, they like lock towns, spin down.

[Drew]

And if they don't bust, they die.

[Kai]

They hit the ground and will rise from the ashes like a phoenix.

[Drew]

Yes, we will bust. We will be busting.

[Kai]

We will be busting.

[Drew]

Me and Drew are gonna try for a child.

[Kai]

We'll be the first. We'll be the first.

[Drew]

We're gonna keep trying until we have one.

[Kai]

You are the girl.

[Drew]

Yeah, that's been established, I think.

[Kai]

Yeah, but you mean DR's the girl.

[Anya]

And who's the boy?

[Drew]

I'm the girl.

[Anya]

I said between me and Drew. You're so caught up in your fantasy with me.

[Drew]

I'm very self centered. I forgot you're the boy. You're the boy. 100%. You are the boy.

[Anya]

You know, I'm not kidding. That's like kind of my, like, thing is when I like the way like.

[Kai]

The, the like, feeling that gave you being called the boy made you feel so good. I think we need to look into that.

[Anya]

No, actually, it's like, awful. I can't believe I've done this to myself.

[Kai]

Like, we need to explore that.

[Anya]

Oh, that's so annoying. In every right, I've gotten my wish.

[Kai]

To be like, I just got gender euphoria from being called a girl low key. I'm not even kidding.

[Anya]

You do. You do yearn for like, you yearn for the practices a woman gets to partake in.

[Kai]

Yeah, I want to be one of the girls so bad. Like, I watched. It's complicated. And like, all of the girls sitting around the living room, like, eating really yummy food and just talking their partners. Like, I will never be able to do that because I will be the partner being talked because I'm a straight man and my wife will be with her girls. But the. But no, no, no. I unironically. Unironically. I want to like, be like a middle aged woman so bad. I think that would be so fun.

[Anya]

That's funny. Middle aged women, I think are like the most sought after by serial killers and murderers.

[Kai]

Exactly. At least I don't have to do it myself.

[Anya]

What's cool about being a woman is every single year of my life, I'm a part of an awesome statistic. It's just like, literally, like, do I want to be stabbed, raped, or like, pushed off a cliff more? It's like depending on my age.

[Kai]

Pushed off a cliff. Low key. It would be kind of fun going down.

[Anya]

What were we watching yesterday that someone got. Oh, we were watching that show High Potential, so was tap dancing on the roof. He got pushed off. Like, I'm not kidding. Just now. I was like, was that real?

[Drew]

That's how Josiah is going to die.

[Kai]

He's going to be tap dancing. Which one of us is pushing him?

[Drew]

It's just gonna be a random.

[Anya]

Hi.

[Drew]

It's gonna be me.

[Anya]

No, because it's me. Josiah. It's me.

[Drew]

I do get jealous of the attack.

[Anya]

Me and Josiah were the ones tap dancing. You're trying to solve the murder. You killed Josie. But I think the whole thing of. Sorry to spoil it. If you're watching episode two, season one of High Potential, but I think the whole spoiler is somebody got in his trunk and, like, followed them upstairs. Did you finish and meant to kill the other person. I was up for a long time last night. Stuff.

[Kai]

Damn. Yeah. Me and bed, like. Or me and bed went to India. Me and bed went to India at, like, 10:30 last night. It was crazy.

[Anya]

Me and Jenga went to bed.

[Kai]

Jenga. I miss you, Brian.

[Anya]

Brian Colberger.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Can we go back this way?

[Anya]

Kill him.

[Kai]

To hi, Matt.

[Drew]

No, to oh, my God.

[Kai]

Kai is so obsessed with.

[Drew]

I want to go. I like hanging out.

[Kai]

That is my fault, though. That is my fault. Because I made very big, big plans for all of us to hit.

[Drew]

Oh, yeah.

[Anya]

Which Drew keeps doing, by the way. Drew keeps telling people that I'll be going out with them. And then he comes also comes up to me, like, last minute is like.

[Kai]

No, you said yes. You said yes.

[Anya]

I always say yes. I say yes to everything. I can't say no. I don't have that kind of me. Like, yeah, sure, okay.

[Drew]

No, don't do that. Please don't do that.

[Anya]

Oh, he'd be jealous because you would not look back after getting some head from me. Kai would be literally useless. Kai would be like anybody who got stuck with that fucking Spotify thing in your car.

[Kai]

Oh, my God.

[Anya]

Useless.

[Kai]

The bricks sounds like that.

[Anya]

Fucking useless.

[Kai]

This episode of Emergency Intercom is brought to you by Zocdoc. Y'. All. Do you remember that doctor appointment you were trying to make a while ago that you forgot about because you are adhd? Well, that's where ZOCDOC comes into play. I don't know about you, but my social media is freaking me out. Literally need y' all to stop putting olive oil on your face. It's not Going to help your skin. Please go to a dermatologist. Booked through zocdoc. As I get older, I think I should go to the doctor more because I can't sleep at night. I'm stressed out all the time and I want to keep myself healthy. But the system makes it impossible to find the right doctor for my needs. That was until I found ZocDoc. ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment.

[Anya]

Zocdoc is the only reason I've been to the doctor. If I'm being honest, anytime anything my body is going wrong, I open up that app. It's probably one of the most used apps on my phone because sometimes I can't lie. I just start to scroll around because I'm getting to that age where like between my shoulder blades hurts and I wake up with the kind of night sweats that are so wet and nasty. I wake up cold no matter what the temperature in the house is. And I definitely should go to the doctor. And I'm actually going to go this weekend. I'm going to open up the app right now. I think you guys should stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to Zocdoc.comIntercom to find it instantly. Book a top rated doctor today. That's z o c doc.com intercom z.com/intercom.

[Kai]

That's so funny you mentioned that because I just saw like, like a car detailing video with one of those inside the car and it had like a sunburn on it. Like the sun had like burned a hole into the screen and like he was cleaning it with like a steam wand and I was like, did he do that with a break?

[Anya]

I mean, it's a brick already.

[Kai]

Yeah, it's a brick. But it was free. It was free. So like I'll give it to Spotify.

[Anya]

Yeah, it was free. And like that literally called up about.

[Drew]

Wasn't that the name for that product, the thing.

[Kai]

I think you might be right.

[Drew]

I think they named it something weird where they kind of knew that it was trash or something.

[Anya]

I swear we're gonna.

[Kai]

Did anybody actually touch one of those? Because was it made of garbage?

[Anya]

I don't know. I'm not kidding. I really wanted one though.

[Kai]

I did too. I mean, and also my car like already has that.

[Anya]

My car didn't have that at the time or mine had CarPlay, but it was Spotify.

[Kai]

CarPlay thing. Yeah, Spotify car thing. Yeah, Spotify Bricked the car thing, so I hacked mine. Yeah, jailbreak the car thing. Can you play Dune Doom on the car thing?

[Drew]

Doom.

[Kai]

Dune.

[Anya]

Oh, the movie.

[Kai]

No, Doom, doom, doom.

[Anya]

I think I got us tickets for something.

[Kai]

What?

[Anya]

Oh, that's what.

[Kai]

Monster trucks?

[Anya]

No, yesterday. Remember when you.

[Kai]

Demolition derby.

[Anya]

Can you let me speak?

[Drew]

Let her speak.

[Anya]

Oh. Oh, my God. We have to talk about the movies. We have to talk about the movies, Kai. Your movies. Experience. Experience. Like you, me, and Josh how we all got bullied by the AMC Century 15 mall.

[Drew]

Oh, my God.

[Kai]

Also, I booked a movie ticket to Century City. Amc. Three minutes before my movie started, the water pipes burst and flooded the whole theater. And they gave me a refund for my a list membership. $0. Wow. They're like, here's your refund. And it was $0. Like, don't even tell me that. But what happened?

[Drew]

Oh, yeah, we went to the movies, and then Anya tried to bring. She went to. What is that? She got, like, a three course meal at Din Tai Fung with, like, the most garlicky ass green green beans. And then she tried to, like, bring it into the theater. And the guy was obviously like, sorry.

[Anya]

I care about what I put in my body.

[Drew]

And then I brought Skinny Pop because I. Because I don't want to eat the unhealthy popcorn at the theater. And then since I was.

[Kai]

You are so gay. It's crazy. It is so the gayest ever. Also, you're gay.

[Anya]

We have to back up, by the way, because it. I showed up with Josh. Me and Josh rode together. I showed up with Josh. I had my bag of taipong. It was packed, and in my head, I'm just like, well, the Din Tai Fung is in this mall. It's my leftovers. It's like 8pm I was just gonna be like, it's my leftovers. I won't eat it in there.

[Drew]

It was like five boxes.

[Kai]

I know, because when Enya goes to Din Tai fung, she orders the whole goddamn menu and never finishes it.

[Anya]

Shaming.

[Kai]

Wow.

[Anya]

Okay.

[Kai]

Well, yes.

[Drew]

She was stuffing bowel buns into her pocket.

[Anya]

Okay, you didn't let me get that.

[Kai]

Tater tots from Napoleon Dynamite.

[Anya]

So I go to go in, and the guy's like, you can't bring food in here. And I said, said, it's leftovers. And he said, no, you have to put it in your car. And then I was like, no, what? So I just turned around and I went outside and I opened up and I started, like, shoving these string beans in my mouth. Because I'm just like, okay, that I can't sneak in there. But I'm smart enough that I thought about this. I had a game plan in a way because I got buns instead of. I usually get dumplings. And I was like, oh, buns I could put in my pocket.

[Kai]

Long bow into your pockets and then bursting like discharge pustules.

[Anya]

Literally, like weapon. Like a hot.

[Kai]

Like throwing it at the screen.

[Anya]

What is it called?

[Kai]

Wait, no. People are ultimately good because you can just throw like soda, like sodas at the screen in the movies if you.

[Drew]

Want to see the Minecraft movie trend where people are like bringing bombs into the chicken jockey scene. But yeah, and you put a box of like the dessert bow buns into her. Like the back of her waist, like the, the waistband like a gun of my jeans.

[Anya]

I had a zip up on, so I put my zip up on. I put.

[Kai]

Wait, so you sat on them here?

[Anya]

No, I put them here. And then I put two buns in my pocket.

[Kai]

You should have put them in your boobs.

[Anya]

Ew.

[Kai]

How is that any different?

[Anya]

I don't know. What if he was like, can I check you?

[Kai]

And what, can I grab your tits?

[Anya]

But when I was walking back in, we were with Kai and he had his skinny pop and I was finishing one of my buns. And the look, the look this man gave me was like I was literally bringing a fucking machete into the movie theaters. Like, I might as well have literally been strapped down because he thought I.

[Kai]

Was the strut down. Like, what do you mean? But a dildo. Okay, sorry, keep going.

[Anya]

But yeah, then guy, I'm not here for the rest of it because then Kai gets stopped and God, he does.

[Kai]

Sounds like my worst fucking thing I.

[Anya]

Will give you credit for. Because I should have done the same thing, which is he stood up for himself because, like, plenty of people walking in here.

[Drew]

I did.

[Anya]

With food, which we'll get to later. But like, I just go in because I'm hot. Like, I literally got that on me. I gotta get.

[Kai]

You're packing.

[Drew]

Bow buns smuggled like 3, 000 calories of Chinese.

[Kai]

She's bagging like, literal heat.

[Anya]

Like, the chicken buns are so good, but they. When they pop open, like, I need to go because, like, I'm like, there's a scent.

[Kai]

Wait, what happened with Kai?

[Drew]

O. I was. I was really confident because I've gone before and whenever if they do say something, I'm like, I have severe allergies, which is technically true. And they're like, okay, fine. But I think, because I was with you, he was like, these people are really sketchy, so I'm not.

[Kai]

They're sneaking in guns inside about buns.

[Anya]

Like, I know to be fair, like, it did cross. I was like, okay, keep going.

[Drew]

And then he called the manager over.

[Kai]

No way.

[Drew]

Because I was like, it's not going to get to that point. Like, it's two bags, small bags of popcorn. And the manager comes over. He's like, absolutely not. You're not fucking bringing that in here. Because he definitely.

[Kai]

He was aggro.

[Drew]

Immediately he was notified of our group of friends, for sure. Because of Enya. Like, she was. She was like a. You know, someone that.

[Kai]

Number one. The cameras are, like, following her through the. Yeah. So then she left the theater with no ass and no boobs and walked in with giant knockers and an ass. They know those bow buns are in there. Babe, you did not get a BBL on the back.

[Anya]

Also, the kind of zip up that the pockets are kind of tight. And you could see that there was.

[Kai]

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Oh, my God. Bbl Bow bun. What's the L?

[Anya]

Lesbians.

[Kai]

Yes.

[Drew]

So then I gave Josh Ligma. I gave Josh the bags of popcorn when he got to the other side of the line, and then he went up, and then he got stopped.

[Anya]

No, also, I did see this part.

[Kai]

So all three of y' all got stopped?

[Anya]

No, no, no. Yeah.

[Kai]

Oh, my God. That's my worst nightmare. D. Dude, were there people behind y'?

[Anya]

All?

[Drew]

There are so many people.

[Kai]

Oh, my God.

[Drew]

Dude, there were people with, like, rotisserie chickens hidden in their bags. Because when we were in the movie.

[Anya]

Oh, yeah, because we. Also, I did see Drop his popcorn. Like, your popcorn. Like, I. Because I went. I went up and I was like, it. I'm gonna get a soda. Because I, Like, I'm not stupid. I knew I couldn't bring a soda from didn't die Fung into the theater. So I go to get a soda, and, like, I'm waiting at the top of the stairs. I just see Josh, like, picking something up. And, like, I see the manager come over to Josh and he's like. Goes like this to him. And then Josh turns a guy. He's like, He. He got me like, dude. And we're all just standing.

[Kai]

Wait, why did he drop the bag of popcorn? Oh, my God.

[Drew]

And then. So I got it, and I. And then I looked, and the manager was just looking at me directly in the eyes, and he was, like, pointed at the trash, and I was like, okay. And I, like, walked over to the trash and then kind of like, walked past it. And he was like, no, throw it in the trash.

[Kai]

Oh, my God.

[Drew]

And I was like, I've never experienced movie theater experience.

[Anya]

It was really high school. It was kind of fun. But then. Oh, you're lucky. Naked Gun changed my mood. Because when we were sitting down, not one, not two, but three came into the movie theater with gin tai fung bags.

[Kai]

Huge ones.

[Anya]

Huge ones. Literally, just like they did. Not with our vibe.

[Kai]

Honestly, fair, I don't with y' all's vibe either.

[Drew]

You don't like us?

[Anya]

Us?

[Kai]

When have I ever liked y'? All?

[Drew]

When I was clapping your.

[Kai]

That is.

[Anya]

That has nothing.

[Kai]

Babe.

[Drew]

You're saying when I was rearranging your guts, you didn't enjoy it?

[Kai]

When you were pressing on my stomach so you could feel it inside?

[Drew]

I was getting the triangular pillow and putting it under your lower.

[Kai]

Oh, my God.

[Drew]

When I pulled out the pebble. It's a vibrator.

[Kai]

Yeah, I know. Okay, well, this is something very special that happened that I don't think y' all will understand. But I know there are people out there that will get this. But there is this gay couple on. Oh, what the. No, there's this gay couple on Instagram called probably this, and they, like, buy homes and remodel them, and they're. They're an interior design couple. And, like, they've been together for 12 years. They wrote books. They built this empire of a business together. They are, like, gold standard for, like, gay relationship. At least they, like, appear.

[Anya]

I think I know who you're talking about. Are they on Tick Tock too?

[Kai]

Yeah, yeah. One of them's bald, one of them's not. Well, they just post the most. I'm not kidding. It is the scariest video I've ever seen. Like, it is the scariest video I've ever seen in my life.

[Anya]

It was babies after seeing the cappuccino.

[Kai]

A baby's ever seeing Bart the Dragon. But this video, they might have deleted it. Because, like, when I saw it, were people not happy?

[Anya]

Like, were people in the comments saying, like, it scared them too? Cuz they deleted it.

[Kai]

Oh, my God, they deleted it. Holy. Holy.

[Anya]

Wait, let me see. Cuz I need to see this.

[Kai]

They. They deleted it. That's crazy. But, yeah, I'll. I'll show you them. I'll show you them after. But basically, they posted this video of them.

[Anya]

Like I was gonna say, I literally feel like our audience for the first time, and I understand their gripes about not seeing it because the fact that your iPhone is in your hand and you won't let me look at the.

[Kai]

Face of it, it's just, like, throwing me off.

[Anya]

That they deleted it.

[Kai]

Yes.

[Anya]

Like, this is real time reporting right now.

[Kai]

I'm, like, literally shaking.

[Anya]

Drew's the news and the media. Drew's the news of the media for.

[Kai]

This random couple, probably this video.

[Drew]

Okay.

[Kai]

So again, this is the scariest video I think I've ever seen in my entire life. Like, I. If. If you keep up with them, like, you understand like, how earth shattering this is. Like, I've been watching them for the past, like, four or five years, and, like, they're. They're cute. Like, they're a cute couple. They randomly, out of the blue, uploaded this. We broke up. It's been a privilege doing 12 years together as, like, partners and for 10 years sharing that online with everyone. And look at the pain behind his eyes. This dude already has a boyfriend. This dude got cheated on. Bald guy got cheated on, and we decided to just be best friends. It feels both at once, like, silly to have to do this and also, like, kind of necessary. Yeah. This is, like, the dumbest video I.

[Drew]

Think I could imagine.

[Kai]

This belongs in my journal. Not, like, out there. Yes.

[Drew]

I want you to know I'm single.

[Kai]

Oh, my God. We're really lucky to be on great terms and to respect each other so much and to start have so much love for each other. Even, like, vacation together. Wait, no. The worst part's coming. If I need you to build something for me, I'm probably still going to call you.

[Drew]

You're going to pay me.

[Anya]

Okay.

[Kai]

Oh, my God. If you're watching this on Tik Tok, Matt will be leading that account. If you're on Instagram, you're stuck with me. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I just put this together. Matt. The bald Guy owns the TikTok account, and then the black shirt guy owns the Instagram account. He deleted it off the Instagram, but Matt kept it up on Tick Tock. Oh, my God. Wait, I really. I need to find someone that knows.

[Anya]

These two so I can life investigation.

[Kai]

If you're on Instagram and you want to follow Matt, it's Matt Armato.

[Drew]

I'm gonna take a second to, like, lick my wounds and be like, what the just happened?

[Kai]

I'm really, like, grateful to have had.

[Drew]

You in my life. I'm proud of him, what we've done, and I'm proud of what we're doing right now.

[Kai]

The fist bump. The fist bump. At the end of the video is so scary. A 12 year relationship ending with a fist bump and like having to reluctantly like fist bump your partner that probably just like ruined and completely destabilized your life. Like something sinister happened. And like when I saw that video, it was so, so, so, so, so scary for me. Like I was like o. Like it really can just like come to that. Like, whoa, dude, I. I can't, I can't.

[Anya]

That was really destabilizing. Oh, I, I really feel bad for the bald guy. Yeah, I mean I feel bad for like anybody who has a public relationship. Cuz like although you put yourself in that position, it is so gnarly to have to navigate that, especially in a circumstance like that.

[Kai]

Also like black shirt guy is what I'm going to call him cuz I don't know his name. I think it might be Bo. Question mark.

[Anya]

David Good.

[Kai]

But he, what's his name is being absolutely destroyed.

[Anya]

Like he should, he should have came with a different vibe. Like if like exactly from one. And I am saying this, I need everyone to know. Like I'll admit my rights and I'll admit my wrongs. Like I got a black shirt on too. I've been there too.

[Kai]

Literally.

[Anya]

Read the room. Read the room. Like you are. You're gonna call to get something. Bill, don't say that.

[Kai]

Like, chill. We're gonna be best friends forever.

[Anya]

Back up. Back.

[Kai]

Oh ho. Back the fuck up.

[Anya]

Oh fuck. That video is so hard to watch.

[Kai]

Yeah, it's so scary. And like I've been like, oh, what.

[Anya]

Are we doing to ourselves? Poor guys.

[Kai]

Like, no, I feel bad for both of them. But. But.

[Anya]

Well, I feel bad for both of.

[Kai]

Them because that also, also, also the bald guy for the past like two months has been posting like ripped like hot shirtless photos.

[Anya]

Does he live in la?

[Kai]

I think they live in South Carolina. What gay people live in South Carolina?

[Anya]

A lot of gay people. I'm not kidding. It weirdly is like a lot of the gay people in my family.

[Kai]

Is South Carolina super close to D.C. is it like a train ride away? Because the D.C. gays are scary.

[Anya]

I don't know. I just know that North Carolina and South Carolina, in my head, there's a lot of gays there because a lot of the women who are gay in my family slash, who I grew up with like ended up there. Question mark. So to me it's gay as hell.

[Kai]

Weston and Kaylin are both very gay people and they're from South Carolina.

[Anya]

They're gay.

[Kai]

Yeah. Oh, welcome in yeah, exactly. Well, I also.

[Anya]

I'm here as like a. Like a chaperone. Yeah, that's why I'm in here.

[Drew]

You're moderating it.

[Anya]

Yes. I'm the mod of the lgbt. Thank God.

[Kai]

I went to Joshua Tree to see the Percy meteor shower, and it was.

[Anya]

Meteor shower?

[Kai]

Yeah, yeah, the Percy Jackson and the lightning thief meteor shower. That was crazy. I told you to come, like, six times.

[Anya]

I know, but I had.

[Kai]

But my Airbnb host was kind of being like. Like, do not bring any uninvited unknown guests into the house. And, like, he was being, like, very crazy about it. Yeah. Joshua Tree was beautiful. I saw 30 meteors in an hour, which is crazy. And a couple of them had, like three second trails that left, like, shimmer behind. It was so crazy.

[Anya]

I'm so jealous.

[Kai]

So gorgeous. I made 30 wishes.

[Anya]

I was watching 90 Day Fiance while you were watching that.

[Kai]

None of my wishes came true.

[Anya]

True.

[Kai]

Not a single one of them came true.

[Anya]

You literally, what was that, like, three days ago?

[Kai]

Yeah, but not the only.

[Anya]

You saw three 30 meteors and wanted 30 wishes?

[Kai]

Yes, 30 meteors. It was probably more like 25 meteors, actually. I took like a 17 minute video so I could like, hear the cuz. It, like, it really, like, it triggers something so primal in your body where, like, you just make sounds like you don't speak. You just, like, make, like, oohs and alls. Like a fucking caveman. Like, I don't know. It was cool.

[Anya]

Oh, I wish I saw that.

[Kai]

No one, literally, no one gives a fuck about me telling my meteor trees meteor shower story.

[Anya]

No, I do love it. The closest I got to that is when I went to, like, a lake and there was a random meteor shower and I saw a few shooting stars. But like. Or maybe when I was with you and your mom.

[Kai]

No, wait, we saw one Joshua Tree.

[Drew]

Yeah, we went.

[Kai]

We saw a meteor shower in my front yard when you came to Texas when we were like, 15.

[Anya]

Yeah. And did we see one in Joshua Tree?

[Drew]

I think they were shooting stars because there's, like, always.

[Kai]

We saw a couple from the front yard.

[Anya]

Right, Right.

[Kai]

Y' all remember the Faith Over Fear tattoo? Cover up?

[Anya]

No.

[Kai]

Oh, my God.

[Anya]

Faith over fear.

[Kai]

This woman had faith over fear tattooed on her neck right here in you. Just faith over fear. And she went to a tattoo artist and was like, honestly, like, I want this covered up. I'll let you choose anything, anything you want. Like, whatever you are the best at. Like, I'll let you cover up this fucking tattoo, bitch. This is The Faith Over Fear tattoo. Like, not bad. Like, just not the vibe anymore. Why did she cover it up with a fucking rainbow cupcake? That looks like shit. It looks like a Juggalo painted it. Like. Like, girl. What the.

[Anya]

That looks like a draw. Like the girl. Like, in middle school when it was, like, back in my day when it was rare to see a middle schooler smoking anything, but the only middle schooler in seventh grade, you knew who was allowed to smoke weed would draw something like that.

[Kai]

That is the meanest thing I think anyone's ever done to a human being. And it's big as. Like, it's huge. And you can still see faith over fear in the cupcake.

[Anya]

Oh, you can.

[Kai]

Like, girl.

[Anya]

Dude, what the. Okay, but also, like, to this lady, she had to have put a stencil down. Or did you let her freehand?

[Kai]

I think. I think she was like. I don't. I want it to be a surprise, because they did. There's a video of the reveal. I can't find it anywhere. But, like, no, I've drawn that cupcake in seventh grade before. Like, that exact cupcake. But, like, what is going on with, like, wait, why were you, a boy.

[Anya]

In middle school, drawing cupcakes?

[Kai]

I love My Little Pony, guys. I love My Little Pony.

[Anya]

I loved Care Bears. I. What are they called?

[Kai]

My Little Pony Nights.

[Drew]

Oh, Brony, Brony, Brony.

[Kai]

Jabroni. You jabroni.

[Anya]

What the is that?

[Kai]

I don't know. Maybe we should look that up. That might be, like, bad for me to say.

[Drew]

A jabroni. Yeah, I think that was just a thing that people in the 90s would.

[Kai]

Like, say, you fucking jabroni. Is it, like, you dunce.

[Drew]

Let me look up. Is jabroni problematic? The word jabroni can be considered problematic depending on the context and intent of its use. It's an insult. The primary definition of jabroni is foolish, contemptible person or a loser.

[Kai]

Okay, okay, so both Enya and Kai are jabronis.

[Drew]

Okay. Well, it's problematic according to Google, so you need to apologize now.

[Kai]

Guys, y' all know tan Mom. You know, I've been mentioning her a lot. Well, I found out that she has a book, and I bought the book, and the title of the book is called the Color Tan.

[Drew]

That's insane.

[Kai]

It's really, really, really crazy. It's really.

[Anya]

I can't believe.

[Kai]

Quite literally the worst book I have ever cracked up in my life. No.

[Drew]

What do you mean you cracked it open?

[Kai]

I. It. Y' all don't. Your books. I. I For knowledge. I'm a sapiosexual. I massage your mind, not your bagini. Guys, instead of a wet T shirt contest, we need a wet mind contest.

[Anya]

We need a wet book contest.

[Kai]

Wait, did y' all know that there are fleas? That if they bite you, they make you allergic to meat?

[Anya]

You mean ticks?

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Anya]

Okay. I can't lie, though. My stomach is literally tossing and turning. So I'm gonna go, and y' all are gonna have to sit for, like, 10 minutes.

[Kai]

And you had to take a. And you went and took a dump.

[Anya]

And it was successful. It was awesome. It was healthy. It was amazing. I got to use my phone, which did give me a passing thought, and I wiped my phone down with an alcohol wipe after because I'm neurotic like that. But I did find myself really grossed out at the idea of all of us carrying our phones into bathrooms and all the time. And I don't think anybody cleans their.

[Kai]

Phone at the hotel In San Diego the past few days. I literally, like, for some reason, was, like, so, like, German freaked out. Like, I don't know if it was just, like, the amount of, like, I was just thinking about the amount of sex that was, like, happening in that room, and it was, like, grossing me out. Crazy. Like, laying on that zebra print couch was a lot for me.

[Anya]

That's you projecting. You're projecting about, like, having sex on a bunch of random things.

[Kai]

Yeah, I have sex all over the place.

[Anya]

Yeah. That's like. Do you care if I say that you, like, Drew mentioned that one time he's had, like. Like, a thing with someone where, like, the whole running gag was like, we in every room that you're fully just projecting that.

[Kai]

I think it's funny. I think it's hilarious.

[Anya]

I mean, I agree with you. It is hilarious, but it is crazy. We just share rooms like that as humans. Like, it's fine. Have you seen that plane that they'll take you up in the sky and let you in the back of it?

[Kai]

Oh, yeah.

[Anya]

That is like, get a grip again, if your hobby is set sex. Whoa.

[Kai]

Something is seriously off.

[Anya]

That's not good.

[Kai]

You know, while you were. While you were taking your big, fat, stinky dump, Kai was taking one at the same time, which I thought was really special and cute.

[Drew]

But yeah, we're synced up.

[Kai]

I was scrolling. I was scrolling on Instagram, just chilling. And I found this swingers couple, and I was like. I watched, like, six of their videos while y' all were, like, doing yalls thing. And that is so Interesting. It is so fascinating to me.

[Anya]

Yeah. I mean, I'm pro swingers. I just, like, get that out of my face and don't talk to me. Me.

[Kai]

No. Yeah. They were, like, talking about, like, going to the bar to hit on married couples, which happened to K. Yeah, well.

[Anya]

Kai isn't a married couple. He's like, a random guy.

[Drew]

Yeah, Yeah. I got hit on. I forget what happens.

[Kai]

Just they, like, came up to you and they thought you were hot.

[Drew]

Oh. Yeah. But then. Oh, the one guy said that we weren't gay.

[Kai]

Oh, yeah. We were like, oh, we're gay together. And then he was like, y' all are not gay. I can tell.

[Drew]

I was trying to get out of it. So I started hooking up with Drew.

[Anya]

Oh, my God.

[Kai]

He started making out on the dance floor.

[Drew]

I immediately started bouncing off. Have you all kissed me and Drew?

[Kai]

No, I don't let him.

[Drew]

He spit in my mouth. That's about as close as it gets.

[Kai]

Gross. Me and Inya had a very special moment in the car ride down to San Diego.

[Anya]

Oh, yeah. It was sweet.

[Kai]

It was sweet. It was just for us. Sorry.

[Anya]

Yeah, we were talking about, like, how we've changed. Oh. Cause we were talking about how I used to be way more angry, but being friends with Drew kind of taught me how to place my anger in a way that doesn't, like, endanger me.

[Kai]

And I learned how to say no.

[Anya]

Huh?

[Kai]

And I learned how to say no through you.

[Anya]

No.

[Kai]

No. How about this? No, no.

[Drew]

That's very poetic. You guys kind of completed each other a little bit.

[Anya]

Yeah, we really did.

[Drew]

That's what we were talking about.

[Kai]

It's like, people really fuck.

[Anya]

Wow. Honestly, I think that was a sign. That was a sign for the universe. The universe was saying, yeah, keep that to you guys. Like, that's for us.

[Kai]

The camera died right when we were saying that. So, like, we're keeping that to ourselves. That's the universe speaking to us to keep it to us. But, yeah, we are soul mates. I don't think people realize, like, truly, truly realize that. Yeah, we complete each other.

[Anya]

And it takes work, even.

[Kai]

Even in moments of frustration and anger.

[Anya]

Because we still disagree all the time on a daily basis.

[Kai]

I feel like we disagree on something a hundred percent. I think what it is is we figured out how each other communicates, and we figured out what's worth talking about and what's not worth talking about. And I think that's literally the key to any relationship.

[Anya]

Also, it is the thing of I. We don't argue so much because it's like you're saying I can recognize when something is just pushing it there.

[Kai]

Exactly.

[Anya]

It's very rare that line is crossed and then when it is, it's resolved so quickly, but for the most part, it is just like.

[Kai]

We've never had something that push.

[Anya]

It is so useless.

[Kai]

We've never had something that hasn't been resolved within an hour. Like. Yeah, and it's literally just like.

[Anya]

Just eat it.

[Kai]

No, just eat it.

[Anya]

If you were just fucking eat it. And then someone would like, I don't know, it's like you have to figure out what to eat. It's hard to figure out your diet, but you got to figure out what to eat.

[Kai]

And we all have a hunger period. So let's just feast together. Wait.

[Drew]

Yeah, let's feast. First we feast.

[Kai]

First we feast. Hot ones.

[Drew]

Yeah. It's important to learn the language that your partner is speaking. Like for instance, I learned with Drew, he speaks Morse code of the clapping noises of me bouncing on it.

[Kai]

I thought you're gonna say something like, genuine. Can you say something genuine about me? Kai? I'll say something genuine about you. I think you're, like really, really, really intelligent. I've like had some of the most, like, intellectually stimulating conversations in my entire life. Yeah.

[Drew]

I think that you're a genuinely very magnetic person and people are truly attracted to you in a way. And I don't even mean sexually, I mean like, like aura wise. That is very rare.

[Kai]

Yes. Wait, say one about Inya. In Inya, you say one about Kai.

[Drew]

Enya is a perfect 10. Okay. Do you want about me?

[Anya]

I'm trying to think. Like, seriously, let me think on this.

[Drew]

Mind for Anya being three words.

[Kai]

Inya is ten.

[Drew]

Dime piece.

[Kai]

Honestly, Sex, pot.

[Anya]

But no but to me, a dime piece is way more than a baddie.

[Drew]

Because it's true.

[Anya]

That's why they call someone's a dime and then someone's a baddie.

[Kai]

Like a baddie's like someone will get.

[Drew]

Degraded from status of a dime piece if they have a mean, ugly personality.

[Kai]

Did I have a twink death? I think I had a twink death. Like way before I was supposed to have a twink death.

[Drew]

Yeah, I had a premature twink death, but I do feel.

[Kai]

Bitch, I was a fucking twink. Like, I was like, you know what? Drinking pinkity drinkity Starbucks drink in my car with like arctic monkey shirts on. Like, I was.

[Anya]

There's levels to this though. Like, there's really levels to this. Because at the time, yeah, you were twinkie, but twink was in demand for the straight girls. So, like, to be a twink was actually kind of like the straightest thing to do at.

[Kai]

It was like, gay. It really was, like, literally, actually metrosexual.

[Anya]

Connor Francis. Hello.

[Kai]

Yeah. Yeah, hello. Oh, my God. I had the biggest crush on Connor.

[Anya]

I was gonna say out of all those guys. I was like, way, way, way, way, way, way. Who's this one?

[Kai]

I didn't recognize it was a crush until, like, five years ago. But, like, I was obsessed. He's always been. No, he's fine still. And he's like. Like mine in his own goddamn business, like, doing whatever the he does now. And I respect the. Out of that. Like, he made his bad. Got his house and does what? Like, walks. Like, he goes on walks. Like. That's so fierce.

[Anya]

That's so fierce. But, like, yeah, that was the thing. To be gay was to be sought after by women. Like I said, the most games of my. Of my teen life to men I thought were gay. I literally, like, it was just like, you didn't know. You really just didn't know who was gay and who was lying.

[Kai]

Like, India would send me unsolicited nudes all the time. I'm joking. I'm joking.

[Anya]

I actually wish. No, I wouldn't have done that to you because, like, I wanted you.

[Kai]

You were in love with me.

[Anya]

That's what I'm saying. You were gay guys.

[Kai]

Would you say you were in love with me?

[Anya]

Yeah, but I. But I think I was in love.

[Kai]

With you in a different way.

[Anya]

Yeah. That's what I'm saying is I think I still was because I will never forget Weston asking me. I think Weston was the first person to ask me just straight up. Or maybe it was another, like, little guy.

[Kai]

No, it was Weston.

[Anya]

It was Weston. But, like, well, he's a little guy in the sense that he's, like, way younger.

[Drew]

14.

[Anya]

Yeah. He was like a jit. Like, he was a child. So I was like, very, very. I'll never forget it because I was so shocked by, like, a young person at being so straightforward, but he was like, I was tangenting on to him and maybe Kaylin about how much I liked Drew. And then they were like, I wasn't saying anything about the way you look or, like, being attracted to or anything. And then they were like, but would you kiss him? And then I was like. Like, I think, yeah, like. But, like, for me, it felt more so, like, isn't that what you're supposed to do? Like, next. Like, that's the next Thing move. But the idea of actually doing it, I was like, no, I. No, like it's never. Yeah, it's never been the thing other than when I came on to you. But that was cuz I drank.

[Kai]

That was so lit.

[Anya]

I think we bleeped that out.

[Kai]

I. We might have bleeped it out early.

[Anya]

On because I was like so embarrassed in.

[Kai]

Yeah. Like I was laying in bed in another person's hotel room and Enya literally got on top of me and straddled me and started like kissing my neck and like literally like trying to like, like get in, get in, get in.

[Anya]

I thought about in it. Yeah, it was my first.

[Kai]

And it was lit. Like it was so lit. Like I love being desired.

[Anya]

Were other people in the room?

[Kai]

Yes.

[Anya]

Id gaffed. Wow. That's crazy. Yeah, weird, weird times.

[Kai]

Yeah, but I love that. That's like my favorite.

[Anya]

Well, when you first. Also the thing was when we, we bleeped it out on the episode because when you told me, I have no recollection of it. Like I fully trauma blocked that because I think I, I was like, that, that was bad and I didn't remember it. So I wanted to block it out because like.

[Kai]

But I very easily could have been like, get the off.

[Anya]

No, but no, it's not even that.

[Kai]

Like I let it happen because I was like, girl, like, yes, yes. Get yours Queen.

[Anya]

That is so amazing. Like, yeah. And now I don't. I. I have no pull. I can't do stuff like that ever again.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Anya]

What's crazy is like with people who I was like sexually attracted to and shit, I knew.

[Kai]

Wait, y' all never said the nice thing about each other.

[Drew]

And yeah, I genuinely think you're one of the funniest people I've ever met.

[Kai]

This episode you have been fucking on. You've been destroying, killing me. This fucking episode you've been saying some of the most advanced jokes I've ever heard in my life.

[Drew]

You also.

[Kai]

I'm being dead serious.

[Drew]

You have like a it girl beauty, which is like a very rare beauty. I do think.

[Kai]

Think I and her beauty is the most boring thing about her because she's a boring thing.

[Anya]

But hey, I think this is literally a sign for us to stop.

[Kai]

We have to keep going. Cuz this is sweet, this is genuine. We need this.

[Drew]

I think it gives us five.

[Kai]

Inya's trying so hard to get out of complimenting Kai.

[Drew]

What was he going to say? But you know what I'm saying, as far as it girl beauty goes, she's.

[Kai]

Got a Special beauty.

[Drew]

Yeah, you're turning. Yeah, I wasn't done.

[Kai]

You. I said one thing. And you.

[Drew]

You also. You also. You have a lot of very good outfits.

[Anya]

Thank you.

[Kai]

You have to give me two now. You gave me one.

[Drew]

Dude, come on. You're. I'm constantly complimenting you.

[Anya]

I know. All these podcasts talk about wanting to fuck you.

[Kai]

That doesn't count. I'm kidding. Go in. Yeah.

[Anya]

My compliment to Kai is.

[Kai]

Just say it.

[Anya]

No, I'm trying to think of how to word it. Like, I'm actually somebody who. I think about my words, period, I guess. Actually, no, I don't.

[Kai]

Yeah, no, we don't.

[Anya]

I, like, literally have a history.

[Kai]

We literally don't.

[Anya]

But in this moment, see how I learn and I change in this moment, I'm thinking my compliment to Kai is I am a very harsh person. And when I met you, I feel like I was very against your existence because I just did not know you. And you are one of the very few and rare cases that not only have you proved me wrong about your character, but, like, I genuinely feel like, despite your age and everything, you genuinely are constantly, like, so open to changing, and, like, your biggest thing is wanting to just, like, be in a room and be of use, whether it's, like, comedically, emotionally, intellectually. Like, you just. You are a useful human being by nature, and you're very nice and sweet.

[Drew]

Thank you. That is very sweet. All right. Drew wants more. Drew is, like, desperate for more.

[Kai]

Cute. A.

[Anya]

And I mean it.

[Kai]

Give me one more. Kai.

[Anya]

Oh, my God.

[Drew]

You have really nice hair, which I really. You know. I know. I know that's, like, more of a shallow thing, but, you know that. That's, like, big.

[Kai]

No, that's major for now.

[Drew]

You have really nice hair, and it's, like, it has, like, a nice texture to it.

[Anya]

That's major for Kai.

[Drew]

What else?

[Kai]

Well, Kai's just a genuinely good person.

[Drew]

Oh, you know what? He's got a good person. I actually do always think about this with you. You're a very multidimensional person. And I remember when I first met you, I was, like, blown away by the, like, diversity of interests you had that were very real. And I was like, I truly have no idea the depth to this person or, you know, sometimes, like, you'll meet people and you'll be like, I kind of know, like, what. What the limits of, like, what they're interested in or, like, what the areas of what they're interested in. I was, like, very. I think you're one of the first people I would. I would consciously be like, I'm excited to hang out with this person because they have such a wide variety of interests and like, on very different ends of different spectrums.

[Kai]

That's something I pride myself on.

[Anya]

Yeah, it's your autistic.

[Kai]

Kai has never done harm in his life.

[Anya]

Oh. Oh. What does that mean? The camera keeps cutting out. I'm just gonna keep talking because, like, just put a blank screen, bro.

[Drew]

I think it'll give us two minutes.

[Kai]

But yeah, Kai's never done any bad thing in his life. He only had. He's well meaning and has good intentions with every single move he makes.

[Drew]

Thank you. That's very sweet.

[Kai]

And that was this episode of Emergency Intercom. Thank you for watching. I watched. It's complicated. It was.

[Anya]

I love that movie.

[Kai]

So good. Really, really funny. Made me cry.

[Anya]

I don't know if it made me cry.

[Kai]

No, it didn't. It didn't make me cry.

[Anya]

It might have made me cry.

[Kai]

I wanted to cry.

[Anya]

I think I cry at every movie I watch, though.

[Kai]

Like, you're just an emotional person. You just.

[Anya]

See, I'm practicing. I. I practice for my manipulation.

[Kai]

Manipulation.

[Anya]

My manipulation.

[Kai]

Forgot that my psychic said manipulation, and she was right.

[Anya]

So chill.

[Kai]

And the song is the skin of my Yellow country teeth. Oh, my gosh. So good.

[Anya]

My music is Hose Be Mad by Cash Cobain, Daisy Jane by America Jerkin by Emil and the Sniffers Swang by jt. That's it.

[Kai]

Beautiful. Guys, I just want to say thank you for tuning in.

[Drew]

And mine is the Rick and morty meal from McDonald's.

[Kai]

I.

[Anya]

Are they for real? Still on about that shit?

[Kai]

The Szechuan sauce. My media is the Szechuan sauce.

[Drew]

Yeah, the Szechuan sauce. Meme on Reddit.

[Kai]

Ahora and veinte porciento en marca selejibles como valspar HGTV home de Sherwin Williams. I cabot despues los nosotros 2 ahoras.

[Anya]

This is an iHeart podcast.