Getting blocked by famous celebrities

Summary

Emergency Intercom: Episode Summary – "Getting Blocked by Famous Celebrities"

Host Information

• Title: Emergency Intercom
• Hosts: Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips
• Description: A comedic exploration of urgent yet often trivial topics, blending humor with relatable anecdotes. The hosts navigate through various subjects, delivering laughs and insights along the way.

Episode Overview Released on May 3, 2024, the episode titled "Getting Blocked by Famous Celebrities" delves into the amusing and sometimes bewildering experiences of the hosts with social media interactions, particularly focusing on being blocked by well-known personalities. Throughout the episode, Enya and Drew engage in lively banter, interspersed with personal stories, pop culture commentary, and humorous takes on everyday situations.

---

1. Introductory Banter and Weather Talk (00:29 – 02:36)

The episode opens with Drew Phillips and Kai (a recurring co-host or guest) engaging in a lighthearted discussion about the weather. Kai humorously boasts about his "females intuition" predicting natural disasters, sharing exaggerated claims about forecasting tornado outbreaks and earthquakes.

• Notable Quote:
  • Kai [02:38]: "There's going to be an earthquake in LA soon. Like, it's earthquake weather, baby."
  • Drew Phillips [03:37]: "When I die, people are going to make a compilation video of everything that I ever predicted, and it's going to go viral as fuck."

This segment sets a comedic tone, blending absurd predictions with playful jabs between the hosts.

2. TikTok Trends and Viral Content (03:38 – 10:16)

The conversation swiftly transitions to discussing TikTok trends, particularly the phenomenon of making random videos go viral. Kai shares a story about being nominated for a fictional "Turkish Quandale Dingle" movie, a nod to internet memes and viral content.

• Notable Quotes:
  • Unknown [03:38]: "I got nominated to be in the Turkish Quandale Dingle movie."
  • Kai [06:49]: "I know a lot of the girls making fun of her just see a little bit of themselves inside of her."

Drew and Kai humorously criticize the oversaturation of viral content and express their disdain for certain trends, highlighting the absurdity of striving for internet fame.

3. Personal Stories: Obsessions and Social Media Interactions (10:17 – 25:35)

The hosts delve into personal anecdotes about their interactions on social media, particularly focusing on creating fake fan accounts and orchestrating elaborate online personas. They recount their experiences with creating a fake fan account for Drew's sister, Madeline, leading to humorous confrontations and admissions from friends.

• Notable Quotes:
  • Drew Phillips [21:15]: "We were cosplaying a crazy fan. Like, fun. We were so bored."
  • Kai [22:16]: "They're literally scar certain spots on the oyster and the shape that they want them to grow."

This segment showcases the playful and mischievous side of the hosts, emphasizing their camaraderie and willingness to engage in entertaining antics.

4. Discussing Movie Preferences and Reviews (25:36 – 41:37)

Shifting gears, the conversation moves to movie reviews and preferences. Kai criticizes the trailer of the movie "Challengers," expecting it to be poor based on its trailer, only to later praise the film after watching it.

• Notable Quotes:
  • Kai [41:37]: "It was doodoo kaka garbage."
  • Drew Phillips [41:58]: "The score of the movie was so good. The movie itself was so good."

Despite initial skepticism, both hosts commend the movie's quality, highlighting their ability to change opinions based on personal experience rather than relying solely on marketing materials.

5. Social Media Personas and Stalking Narratives (41:38 – 56:22)

The hosts continue to explore the theme of internet personas, sharing stories about creating and maintaining fake accounts dedicated to various celebrities. Kai recounts his experience creating a fan account for Caitlyn Bennett, engaging in behaviors that mirror stalker tendencies, all in jest.

• Notable Quotes:
  • Kai [21:49]: "We were Martha Coded. Like we would talk about Taco Bell literally all the time."
  • Drew Phillips [26:04]: "He built character."

The anecdotes are laced with humor as they discuss the lengths they've gone to in crafting these online identities, showcasing their knack for storytelling and self-deprecation.

6. Unicorns of the Internet: Nugget Couches and Blue Man Group (56:23 – 66:24)

The latter part of the episode meanders through various topics, including bizarre TikTok trends like "nugget couches" and the enigmatic Blue Man Group. The hosts critique the commercialization and strange evolutions of these trends, blending sarcasm with genuine curiosity.

• Notable Quotes:
  • Kai [38:22]: "They make literal sex swings and, like, sex toys and, like, sex beds out of these nugget couches."
  • Drew Phillips [53:45]: "That group is literally the exact definition of, like, what goes through a man's head when he starts losing his hair and he doesn't have self-acceptance."

Their commentary reflects a critical yet humorous take on how certain trends and groups become entrenched in popular culture, often losing their original charm or purpose.

7. Closing Remarks and Final Banter (66:07 – End)

As the episode wraps up, the hosts engage in playful banter, exchanging quips about song recommendations and personal preferences. They crash into humorous mentions of their past behaviors, favorite books, and absurd song snippets, maintaining the comedic flow until the very end.

• Notable Quotes:
  • Kai [64:32]: "So this is a tweet from the Joey Davis propaganda. How about I take a propaganda at your boobs?"
  • Drew Phillips [65:00]: "I'm a girl pervert."

Their natural chemistry and ability to riff off each other’s jokes create a lively and entertaining conclusion, leaving listeners amused and eager for the next episode.

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Conclusion

"Getting Blocked by Famous Celebrities" offers a humorous exploration of social media interactions, celebrity culture, and the absurdities of internet fame. Enya Umanzor, Drew Phillips, and their guests navigate through personal anecdotes and pop culture critiques with wit and camaraderie. The episode seamlessly blends satire with relatable content, making it both entertaining and insightful for listeners who enjoy a comedic take on modern digital experiences.

Key Takeaways:

• The episode highlights the often irrational pursuits of internet fame and the humorous side of being blocked by celebrities.
• Personal anecdotes about fake fan accounts and social media personas underscore the hosts' playful nature.
• Pop culture critiques, including discussions on TikTok trends and movie reviews, provide depth amidst the comedy.
• The dynamic chemistry between hosts and guests ensures a lively and engaging listening experience.

Notable Quotes Recap:

• Kai [02:38]: "There's going to be an earthquake in LA soon. Like, it's earthquake weather, baby."
• Drew Phillips [03:37]: "When I die, people are going to make a compilation video of everything that I ever predicted, and it's going to go viral as fuck."
• Drew Phillips [21:15]: "We were cosplaying a crazy fan. Like, fun. We were so bored."
• Kai [41:37]: "It was doodoo kaka garbage."
• Drew Phillips [41:58]: "The score of the movie was so good. The movie itself was so good."
• Kai [38:22]: "They make literal sex swings and, like, sex toys and, like, sex beds out of these nugget couches."
• Drew Phillips [53:45]: "That group is literally the exact definition of, like, what goes through a man's head when he starts losing his hair and he doesn't have self-acceptance."
• Drew Phillips [65:00]: "I'm a girl pervert."

Listeners new to "Emergency Intercom" will find this episode a perfect blend of humor, relatable content, and sharp social commentary, encapsulating the essence of what makes the podcast both unique and entertaining.

Transcript

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Drew Phillips]

Wanna pull off the season's freshest trends? You just need the right shoes. That's where designer shoe warehouse comes in. Loving wide leg jeans. Pair them with sleek low profile sneakers. Obsessed with the sheer trend. Try it with mesh flats, Feeling Boho comfy sandals. Nail the whole free spirited thing. Find on trend shoes from the brands you love, like Birkenstock, Nike, Adidas and more at dsw. Hey guys. Welcome to this episode of Emergency Intercom. We're going to talk about traffic, the weather, pop culture.

[Kai]

Your weather report for today is. Put some Sunscreen on. The UV is at a 9.

[Drew Phillips]

Is it actually today?

[Kai]

There's a hole in the ozone layer.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay. Yes.

[Unknown]

Isn't nine very low?

[Drew Phillips]

No, nine is high. Ten is like, like kind of peak ten.

[Kai]

Go out. You're cooking.

[Unknown]

Oh, it is. It is nine.

[Kai]

Oh, really?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Kai]

I just intuitively knew that. I could just feel it.

[Drew Phillips]

He checks the weather app so often.

[Unknown]

I think you didn't know that.

[Drew Phillips]

I think you love.

[Kai]

I actually did not see it, but I do check the weather app all the time, which is a perfect segue into. What I wanted to talk about was the super tornado outbreak that just happened in the Midwest. Oh, there was like 20, like there were like five tornadoes on the ground at the same time from the same cell. Like across like Nebraska, Oklahoma, like y' all. It's crazy how I just know these things. I just can predict natural disasters and it may take a few. Take a few weeks to like actually come to fruition, but I do say it. And they do happen. Within three years. Within three years they have.

[Drew Phillips]

I don't know if that's like necessarily.

[Kai]

There's going to be a earthquake in LA soon.

[Drew Phillips]

How soon?

[Kai]

Like it's earthquake weather, baby.

[Drew Phillips]

Days.

[Kai]

Within three, five years.

[Unknown]

No, I believe you because you have like females intuition.

[Kai]

Yes. A period. But don't say the F word. Sorry.

[Unknown]

We can bleep it.

[Drew Phillips]

You sound like so gross when you do that.

[Kai]

Female.

[Drew Phillips]

You're such a female.

[Kai]

Wow.

[Drew Phillips]

It's giving female My female friend. You're my feline friend.

[Kai]

Oh, okay.

[Drew Phillips]

Well, Drew has admitted to me multiple times that he likes to just say things are gonna happen so that people go like, oh, my God. He knew. Yeah.

[Kai]

When I die, people are going to make a compilation video of everything that I ever predicted, and it's going to go viral as fuck.

[Drew Phillips]

You're going to be dead.

[Kai]

We're trending number one on Twitter.

[Unknown]

You know what? That's true. Because you. I think, like, a couple of years ago, you were like, oh, something big. Big is going to happen. And then, like, two years later, you.

[Kai]

Walked into my life.

[Unknown]

Oh, shit. Wait a second.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. Do you get it?

[Unknown]

You know what's crazy is that actually wasn't what I was talking about. I was talking about I got nominated. I don't know if you guys saw this on Tick Tock. I got nominated to be in the Turkish Quandale Dingle movie.

[Drew Phillips]

What is that?

[Kai]

You don't know? Tick Tock Wrist Party.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay, no, y' all are not bringing that here. This is my safety. Like a boy. Like, that's where we, like, keep those things out.

[Kai]

Turkish Kwondel Dingle.

[Drew Phillips]

I hate that. That's a real name.

[Kai]

Yes, It's Blue Tie Kid. And Turkish Condel Dingle.

[Unknown]

You know what? I got Group leader. What am I. I don't think you got cast.

[Kai]

Oh, wait, I did see that video. Yes, I did. It was like a slideshow of a bunch of people. And you were cast as the group leader.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Find that video.

[Unknown]

All right, I'll pull it up.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, my God. I, like, don't understand that. Anything I've seen about that, like, TikTok lore, I have skipped so quickly, like, from the moment I saw. And I remember when that video first got uploaded, like, a few months ago, I almost posted on my story and was like, this is my ideal nightmare. Not ideal nightmare. It's like my peak nightmare is being in a room with a bunch of high school kids screaming a song by, like, it was a sweet what's his nuts, Kanye West. Like, that's my nightmare, is to be in that room. And then it became a thing.

[Kai]

But no, what they're doing, they're doing this again. So, like, I guess it's becoming, like, a trend. There's two, like, trends on Tik Tok right now. It's to make, like, a random video, the most viral video of all time. And, like, it becomes this, like, trend to, like, give it likes. Give it attention, give it. Make it your profile picture, share it with all your friends.

[Drew Phillips]

What if we did that with our body?

[Kai]

Yeah, someone do that with this episode of Emergency intercom, please. And then so, like, one of them, like, they always compare, like, the Bella porch, like, oh, this is the most liked video of all time. And now it's like a raccoon dancing to this song. And it has, like.

[Drew Phillips]

I thought that a billion covered in.

[Kai]

That was. That was one of them. It got dethroned, actually. Yeah, it got dethroned by, like, dogs in, like, hoodies or something like that. And now it's a raccoon.

[Drew Phillips]

Well, I know what I want my opinion.

[Kai]

They're filming a biopic. Yo, this eats. So it's Kai that Jeremy Ellen. Yeah, that dude. Okay. For as Red Tomato Boy.

[Drew Phillips]

Well, I want this Tick Tock to.

[Kai]

Be the most liked one before we move on. What they're doing is they're doing the same thing to that Coco girl. Who the is Coco? She doesn't even go to our school. And I need to get. I need to set it straight. Y' all need to leave that girl alone, because I know a lot of the girls making fun of her for wanting to fit in and get a word in, talking to the cute person, like, whatever it is. Like, I know some of the people making fun of her just see a little bit of themselves inside of her. And y' all need to flip the script like you always do, because y' all were making fun of the Tick Tock Riz party, and then you made them, like, lore and famous. Y' all need to do the same thing to Coco because, like, no, that girl does not deserve Coco. Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

Also, I saw a good TikTok about it where I was like, the T of it all is, this girl must be one of the more popular girls, because why doesn't she know that?

[Kai]

Oh, literally. Literally. Why doesn't she know Coco? Who the fuck is Coco?

[Drew Phillips]

I want this to be. The way this made me laugh at the gym yesterday was, like, actually diabolical. Like, I was on the treadmill, and I was, like, crying on the treadmill, and the guy next to me was running and kept looking over at me, and I had to, like, stop the treadmill and, like, like, bend over and pant from laughing so hard.

[Kai]

We work out on different floors, and she sent it to me, and I just got finished hitting my PR, which is about, like, £400 on the bench press. And, like, the video, like, popped up in front of my face, and I was pushing up on 480. And that laugh just, like, exerted it out. And that was after a thousand push ups.

[Drew Phillips]

But that way you were just trying to casually say that you were like basically bench pressing 480.

[Kai]

Yeah, that's.

[Drew Phillips]

There's no way you can't.

[Unknown]

Well, you've been sarms maxing, right?

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

No, okay, enough, enough, enough. I've been doing what we're doing. Y' all are not saying all these weird words to me. I don't want them in my brain. I don't want to be a part of that. I do a very good job of making sure my tick tock timeline is nothing but people getting abused by the British horses. Girls being cute and like music video snippish and then like gay memes maxing and bone smashing. What is that? I don't like bone smashing. Sounds like, like that sou something on bridge. Like, like bone smashing bone sm.

[Kai]

They take a hammer and they break their bones in their face to like rebuild it. Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

Some of you need self love for real. Well, I love the British horses. Abusing Taurus, like, is so funny.

[Kai]

There's more.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, I've seen a bunch of them. They get beat the up by these hoes and like. Okay, I'm sorry, but why do you want a picture with the horse? Like, what is so special about the horse?

[Kai]

My prediction. Horse girl couture. I swear to God.

[Drew Phillips]

We passed that.

[Kai]

No, no, I know we passed that. But the trend cycle is going to revert it back. So we did like Catholic core. Like now it's gonna be like horse girl couture.

[Drew Phillips]

Horse girl couture is already in, but.

[Kai]

Not like, not in the way that it was before.

[Drew Phillips]

Like someone's like, here's my trend forecast. And they say like the five most popular things on the planet.

[Kai]

Yeah. Tanker. I think tank. Tank tops are going to be in for this summer. Tank tops and flip flops.

[Drew Phillips]

No one in the summer is going to be wearing like sweaters and jeans. Like, nothing. Like, because it's like hot. So you don't want to wear that. That's not the vibe.

[Kai]

Sunscreen and deodorant and. And banging Kai's mama from the back is going to be a big. A big.

[Drew Phillips]

But that might. That might be falling out of trend.

[Kai]

It's already ran two.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. It's ran through. Like too many people have hit.

[Unknown]

That was big in 20. 19. 19. Yeah, that was one of the bigger trends.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, but I guess it's kind of. It's been five years now, so isn't that scary?

[Kai]

The trend cycle?

[Unknown]

Has it been five years? I thought it was only one year since 2019, dude. Max.

[Drew Phillips]

No, it's been five years.

[Kai]

We're age maxing, Y' all.

[Drew Phillips]

Shut the up. Y' all are h. Maxing. I still have my youth.

[Kai]

How the hell are you gonna love somebody else if you can't even love yourself?

[Drew Phillips]

RuPaul.

[Kai]

No. Me no RuPaul. Like, every start quote, unquote, Drew Phillips. How the hell are you going to love anybody else if you can't even love yourself? Mamas.

[Drew Phillips]

How does she end?

[Kai]

Thanks for spilling.

[Drew Phillips]

She thinks we have, like, an intimate talk. I'll be like, thanks for spilling your tea, my queen, for spilling. But back to the tornadoes thing. I, like, was looking them up because I kept getting them on my timeline. So I was like, I want to, like, look up, like, what happened. Whatever. The comments, like, the things people say about natural disasters and comments will always crack me up because I'm like, first of all, not only did, like, actual people get devastated by this, so, like, don't come in here with conspiracy theories, but, like, I'm sorry. They actually cracked me at this one. Like, I was in bed, like, giggling my ass off.

[Kai]

They're firing the tornado machines.

[Drew Phillips]

Someone said, this is the third tornado video I see in a different location. What is happening?

[Kai]

You mean, like, weather? Weather patterns. Like, that is, like, happened has happened in the Midwest every single year for the last thousand.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, the first opera, I was like, you mean springtime in the Midwest? Like, what are you talking about?

[Kai]

Ever heard of Tornado Alley?

[Drew Phillips]

Oh. Oh. But, yeah, those kind of, like, people are like, the world is what's happening to the world. Like, I love when people start saying that on, like, natural disasters and just, like, nature being nature and unpredictable and, like, ramping up. Obviously, like, part of it is, like, not this necessarily, but there are other things that have been happening that are just global warming. But even that, I'm like, the answer is right there. Like, literally all you have to do is Google it. But people get in comments, and they're like, wait a second. Also, we usually don't have rain. Why is it raining?

[Kai]

What's happening on top of all of that? Like, we do live in a more, like. Like, people film things more often. And not only that, but they post things to the Internet because, like, every tornado since, like, 2012 has been filmed by literally everyone, but they just didn't have a place to upload it. And Tik Tok can make every fucking thing go viral. With that said, the tornado footage from these last couple of outbreaks has been the greatest footage of tornadoes. I've ever seen, like, saying, I'm a connoisseur. Y' all can go back and look. I fudgeing love tornadoes arena was claim like, being like.

[Drew Phillips]

No, no, no.

[Kai]

I get the. Like, y' all get to claim it.

[Drew Phillips]

Clock my teeth.

[Kai]

I get the claimant. I get to claim it. Like, my hometown was ravaged by. Ever since then, I was just, like, obsessed. And I've been saying one thing for so long before the. Whatever. I'm not even going to get into it.

[Drew Phillips]

No one can trust and believe. No one's going to take your tornado chase.

[Kai]

Day. It's just the. Drew is so stupid. No, ably not. Me and Kai fell in love.

[Drew Phillips]

Get me water. Get me water.

[Kai]

Okay, now.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, pick it up after. Get me water now. And that's before gratuity, so get the water.

[Unknown]

Oh, my God. You just threw money at him.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, let me have that. Look, he's going to give me my water.

[Unknown]

Let me have that.

[Drew Phillips]

Thank you.

[Unknown]

What were you saying, Drew? You were about to say something crazy.

[Kai]

Give me my, um. I was saying that you were about.

[Drew Phillips]

To say something crazy.

[Kai]

Me and Kai fell in love the other day. We had, like, a real moment. It was crazy.

[Drew Phillips]

What?

[Unknown]

We were. We were on set for the. Wait, can we talk about it?

[Kai]

Not yet.

[Unknown]

No, we can't.

[Kai]

But we can say that we were on set.

[Drew Phillips]

We were on set for Challengers, too, With Kai and Drew.

[Kai]

Yes.

[Unknown]

We were on set for helping Girth master film his new video. Yeah, Just kidding. We weren't. We weren't. We weren't. But we were on set, and I turned and I looked at Drew, and we locked eyes, and he went, did we just fall in love for a second? And I was like, yes, we did.

[Kai]

It was.

[Unknown]

And it was so real, too.

[Kai]

It was very raw. It was also, like, hour 12 of the shoot, and we were just dissociating into each other's eyes. It was a magical moment, truly.

[Drew Phillips]

Did y' all hook up at the bathroom?

[Kai]

No.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay, then it's not real love.

[Kai]

Like, wouldn't let him hit in a million years.

[Unknown]

Drew won't let me touch him.

[Drew Phillips]

He lets me touch him.

[Unknown]

I know. And it pisses me off.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. He begs. He's like, please come into my bed. Please come and lay in my bed.

[Unknown]

I think I just don't want it enough, you know? I think that's the problem. It's like, I need to want it more. Drew wants to. What is it? You know? Whiplash. The, like, instructor that's, like, trying to bring out the best. Yeah, that's so Drew is my instructor and I'm the drummer, and he wants to, like.

[Kai]

And he has bloody hands and.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

How the did they pitch that movie? So, like, I want to be a drummer, and this guy's like, really about it, and, like, he's crazy.

[Unknown]

I was actually thinking about the last time I watched Whiplash, which. I really like it.

[Kai]

I was like, shitty drumming movie.

[Unknown]

Okay.

[Kai]

Oh, like, that horrible drum actually, like.

[Drew Phillips]

Held to high regard, actually.

[Kai]

And it's terrible. Ye olden boring as fudge.

[Unknown]

It's good. I liked it.

[Kai]

Oh, I'm glad you all liked it.

[Unknown]

Oh, my God.

[Drew Phillips]

My God.

[Unknown]

Okay, what's your favorite movie?

[Kai]

Minions Part two.

[Drew Phillips]

I don't even think it's called Part two. Like, like, it wouldn't be called Part two.

[Kai]

Minions. Go to space.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, this has nothing to do with tornadoes. I used to be obsessed with water parks, and last night I was cracking up because I saw, like, one of those GoPro videos of somebody going to, like, the new water slides, and it was like, you can pick the theme of this water slide, and, like, they picked jungle, and it was like all these really shitty projections of, like, a tiger snake bite. Yeah, the snake bite and everything.

[Kai]

And you can see corners of the projector because it, like, killed the screen and it just looked like.

[Drew Phillips]

And I used to be so obsessed. I don't know if it was because growing up in Florida, there was water rapids, I think it's called. It's like, rapids water park. It's like a huge water park that everybody wants to go to. And like, in school when they would give you those, like, coupon sheets, there would always be a big water rapids one, which, like, my family is broke as, like, the 20 off is not going to get us to drive, like, two hours out. We need a hotel. Like, stop playing with me. But I think I went, like, once or twice in my lifetime. And first of all, water parks are terrifying. Like, they're nasty. They are so, like, scary to get on a water ride. Especially because as a kid, I was so obsessed with them. I would look up videos and I would always find videos of people dying on them. Like, not.

[Kai]

Oh, my God, that one. There's that specific one where they're in that raft and it's like, the hills. And he got decapitated. Like, what?

[Drew Phillips]

So every time I'm getting the water.

[Kai]

Slide, it's not a video.

[Drew Phillips]

It's not a video of it, but they, like, talk about the incident. So every time I would, like, go to a water park, that's All I could think about, I was like, I would be the one to die on this slide right now. So that's all that would play in my mind. And then also, the older I get, the more I just realized there was piss and. And poop in the water. And every time I was in the water, all I could think about was that. But in Miami, it was such a big thing to go to water parks, so I was at them all the time in the amounts of times that slides got shut down because some little kid shit himself on the fucking stuff slide.

[Kai]

Sorry, guys. That was me.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, water parks should be illegal. And that's my take on it. Like, it's literally biohazard as. Like, it is so crazy. It's just piss and poop.

[Unknown]

And I will say, though, there's no better. There's no more euphoric feeling than, like, feeling zero gravity, having your belly out, and, like, flying down a warm water slide.

[Kai]

It's literally just urine. The warm water is all of it.

[Drew Phillips]

Shooting up your nose and into your mouth, like, fully. Making sure you get dementia when you're older because of all the bacteria going to your brain.

[Kai]

Yeah. The wave pool. Amoebas go crazy. I loved the way you said that. The wave pulled amoebas. They went crazy.

[Drew Phillips]

I want them in my way.

[Kai]

I'm so crazy.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm so crazy. I thought. I always felt like I was gonna drown, and I was not a good swimmer. And I would always just sneak in and try to go all the way back to the wall because I wanted the strongest wave. And I would always almost drown and always have to get saved by a lifeguard. And they would always be mad at me, and I would always try to sneak back.

[Kai]

Have you seen the machines that, like, make the waves?

[Drew Phillips]

Isn't it just, like, the huge things.

[Kai]

That are so scary, bro, like, getting sucked into that. That's what I'm saying. I'm sure they. A bunch of people have. That's the tea. But have you all seen that one girl?

[Drew Phillips]

The tea, they're just not telling.

[Kai]

I know. Literally a conspiracy. They put. That's what they put in those fucking burgers. There is a squished kids they like, and they get squished by the wave machine.

[Drew Phillips]

The more and more burgers the water parks come out with, the more and more kids go missing.

[Kai]

I've been noticing that. I've literally been noticing that. It's like minced meat. But y' all seen that one girl since you were talking about, like, amoebas and scabies and that like she went, she has Munchausen syndrome, not Munchausen by proxy.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, you were talking about it.

[Kai]

Actually, never mind. I'm not going to talk about it. And that's that. Okay, well, this is the real tea. I wanted to talk about how India and Addison Rae quite literally stole my twin sister swag. And it's. It's crazy and it's like actually not even funny. And I know Madeline's like probably how left handed by it.

[Drew Phillips]

What the fuck are you talking about?

[Kai]

And just like not to air your out like this, but hold on, wait, let me find the group chat. So you completely annoying. Y' all completely stole her swag.

[Drew Phillips]

Girl, that's been a swag since the dawn of time.

[Kai]

And she created it.

[Drew Phillips]

She created this picture of me with my braces off is literally a photo like that because I was like me and my twin with straight teeth. And that's literally an ID post I have archived.

[Kai]

I just. I don't know, I just think you like were just inspired and it's okay to be inspired.

[Drew Phillips]

I mean, I'll admit when I'm inspired. But I think you and your sister have the DNA of the killers.

[Kai]

Yeah, I'm just playing.

[Drew Phillips]

But yeah, no, we are inspired by her. I have a whole what if you found out I had a whole IG dedicated to reposting Madeline stuff.

[Kai]

I mean, we literally did do that. Oh yeah, dude, y' all, this is wicked.

[Drew Phillips]

On my own.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

And living here and like when you were on the phone with her, like you found like recordings of like me recording the screen when you're on FaceTime with her. And it was like just really like weird, sinister like video dude.

[Kai]

So like that would be actually insane. But some. One of the most wicked, like evil shit we've ever done is me, Jake, Dana and Enya and had made a fake fan account for my sister. Made a fake fan account for my sister and then just acted like a crazy stalker person. Madeline caught on immediately. So then it became about like tricking the public into believing that we were like a crazy fan. And like we were just saying the most out of pocket shit. The most wild shit.

[Drew Phillips]

We were Martha coded as.

[Kai]

Fuck. We were literally Martha Coded. Like we would. We would talk about Taco Bell literally all the time.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, that was Chipotle.

[Kai]

That was our favorite thing. Oh yeah, Chipotle. It was Chipotle. Yeah. We would just like ran and like for four years after like Meline, like caught on, we would just still tweet on that account. Just like being like I want a Chipotle. I don't want to say it out loud, but I remember.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so basically the climax, like, okay, so we would like to eat at Madeleine and be like, I love you so much. Can we please go to Jimbolt together? And, like, we would just, like.

[Kai]

And we would just, like, we would literally, like, eat Stephen alive. We would be like, that nasty fucking boyfriend of yours. He needs to fucking go. Like, just saying, like, crazy.

[Drew Phillips]

Literally cosplaying a crazy fan. Like, fun. We were so bored.

[Kai]

And then we need to do that shit again. That's the most. I felt alive when they. When Madeline caught on and said she's calling the police and that they have our IP address, that the police are coming, I was horrified. I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And it was Steven's mom that called. Steven's mom was like, yeah, like, we're really freaked out over here. And she already knew at the time. Whatever. Crazy vibes.

[Drew Phillips]

So funny. But then once everybody was in on it, there were, like, fans of Madeline and Steven who were like, we need to get this account gone. Like, she's so weird, because we would be like, oh, my friend Madeline's room, I have her sock. And, like, we took a picture of one of her socks, and we were like, I'm going to cherish this forever. I'm going to wear it right now. And then, like, we would, like, put it on my foot and tweet a picture of it and be like, I love her socks. They're so warm.

[Kai]

And then we, like, one night, this was, like, the climax of it all. Like, this is, like, what the whole account was leading up to was when we were at this certain press play show. And, like, Madeline and Steven are, like, aware of it now. And, like, basically we orchestrated this whole thing where we were, like, live tweeting it. And the tweets were like, for an account with, like, 300 followers were going, like, semi viral. And people were like, what the fuck is this person talking about? And was. It was. We were just basically saying we were going to sneak into Madeline's room and take pictures of her. And we did. We went into Madeline's room, set up a camera, and it was me and India in one bed and Madeline and Steven in the other bed. And, like, we had it set up where it took a picture of us, and then we uploaded it, and then we were running and sprinting down the hallway and taking pictures as we're running away, and people were freaking out. And the Tour manager.

[Drew Phillips]

God, I heard that move. Like, I had to run out of there and like, live tweeting, like, sneaking.

[Kai]

Into the room and people fully were like, what the fuck? Like, this is crazy. And like, our tour manager at the time was like, low key, scared as fuck. But like, also, he didn't do anything about it.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, he was like, do you all know about this? And we were like, yes. We're so freaked out.

[Kai]

He's like, okay, then they can just moved on. But like, whatever. But yeah, we went hard as fuck with.

[Drew Phillips]

I miss her.

[Kai]

Yeah. Then I also had a Caitlyn. Caitlyn Bennett Stan account. I. I, like, I moved on from a. Or Madeline, and I moved on to Caitlyn Bennett. But that's a story for another time.

[Drew Phillips]

I know that one's so good, I'm.

[Kai]

Saving it for Patreon. Oh, sorry, sorry.

[Drew Phillips]

My favorite, like, what I will say is my favorite tweezer you did is when you were like, I'm seeing codes in the sky. I'm seeing codes in the sky.

[Kai]

And like, I had like a. A full fledged, like, story arc, like.

[Drew Phillips]

And doing it all by himself. Like, I went into his room one day in complete secrecy, and he went through this account. He had been tweeting for like, months. No, years, like, as this random girl who was like, obsessed with Caitlyn Bennett.

[Kai]

Three years when I showed. Or two years when I showed you. And it went on for another year after that. And I did get Caitlyn Bennett noticed and I did join group chats with Caitlyn Bennett fan accounts. And I was a sleeper cell. I would go in there and spread like, misinformation about Caitlin. And they'd be like, wait, what? Like, this is crazy, but that era of my life is over and I will not apologize for anything.

[Drew Phillips]

And you were, you were cosplaying a girl who was, like, in love with Caitlyn.

[Kai]

Yeah, yeah. But she didn't know it. But that. That's as much as you get. That's as much as you get.

[Drew Phillips]

He built character.

[Kai]

I did delete it because I don't know why. I wish I kept it because, like, but there was a moment afterwards where I was like, oh, this is like actually deranged crazy person behavior. And then now, like, it's that two years, two crazy being.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, it's not that crazy.

[Kai]

Yeah, it's not that crazy to pseudo stalk someone, but, like, post, like, there's that like, timeline where it's like, okay, you're in the moment. Two years from now, you'll look back at what you're doing and you'll be like, dude, that is so cringy. And then two years after that, you look back and you're like, damn, that was lit. Like, I was cool as I was in that. Like two years after a stage where I was like, why the was I doing that? And now four years later, I'm like, gag. Like, that was so fire gag.

[Drew Phillips]

Well, I decided that I don't understand pearls. Like, they don't make sense to me. Like, do they keep the clams alive?

[Kai]

I've seen some where they do keep the clams. Lies.

[Drew Phillips]

But does that not hurt, like, so bad? Like, prying their mouth open and like sticking sharp ass utensils.

[Kai]

Like, imagine someone literally, like pulling your jaw open, like digging around in your brain with a scalpel and pulling out.

[Drew Phillips]

Your penal gland of like, somebody taking out like, okay, pineal pearl. Pearls are just clam tonsil stones. Let's talk about that. Like, pearls are literally just fancy tonsil stones.

[Unknown]

Talking about clam.

[Kai]

Yeah, clam chowder, tuna box, vagina y.

[Unknown]

We're talking about clams now.

[Kai]

Okay, yeah, okay, can just.

[Drew Phillips]

But they're just not. No, we're leaving that in. We're leaving it. They're just fancy tonsil stones. That's first of all. Second of all, that looks like it hurts. Like, leave them alone, bro. Like, I was watching a video of somebody doing it to a live clam and then just like ripping him open, taking it out and like tossing it hard as back into a bucket. I was like, damn. Like, put some respect on his name. You just took all his life's work out of his mouth.

[Kai]

They do donate the, like, innards to like farms and shit in local areas, which is kind of a vibe. So it turns them into pig slop. Those are the ones they kill. But did you know that they can literally like scar certain spots on the oyster? And like when you see like oyster shaped in hearts, you're like, yeah, that's fucking clam.

[Drew Phillips]

It's a oyster.

[Kai]

Whichever. I think it's a clam. I think it's a clam. It's a clam. But they can score certain spots on the clam and the shape that they want them to grow and they can chip certain places and it like will literally grow into a heart. So when you see like heart shaped pearls or star shaped pearls, they were naturally grown, but then they also like seed them where they like put like a grain of sand or something in there. And that's like where the calcium deposits because, like, it is essentially a tossel tonsil stone. It's like their body's trying to, like, get that out, like, expel it and filter it out. But, yeah, I was watching a fudgeing video of someone, like, seeding and scarring clams, and I was like, what the fuck? This is so pretty that, like, they are gorgeous.

[Drew Phillips]

The first bitch scratching up on a clam.

[Kai]

They were probably eating it. They were probably like, ooh, they're probably eating that clam, spreading it open. Fishy odor. Stinky.

[Drew Phillips]

What is like, seriously, what is wrong with you?

[Kai]

I. I didn't.

[Drew Phillips]

I don't know anymore. I'm not gonna get you help.

[Kai]

Wait. Oh, my God. Wait. I'm in, like, a mode right now where I could probably cry on command.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay, then do it.

[Kai]

No, I did make tears in my eyes that they didn't fall.

[Drew Phillips]

Should be like, scene.

[Kai]

I need menthol. You need a menthol stick. Wait, I could. No, I lost it. I wanted to talk about Rainy. What were you going to say?

[Drew Phillips]

Rainy Rodriguez.

[Kai]

Yes. I have her written down because, like, that is another arc of my life. That was crazy when you were, like.

[Drew Phillips]

Faking, like, you were obsessed with her.

[Kai]

No, it was like me and her were in a relationship. But okay. Getting a block by Rainey Rodriguez in the moment felt so special. Like, I was like, oh, she noticed me. Like, what the fudge? Like, she blocked me. This is so funny. Granted, what she blocked me over was. It was a picture of me wearing I'm. He's in her wearing a shirt that said I'm hims or something like that. And I tweeted, like, I edited to say, like, I'm. He's. I'm hers, or whatever. I posted like, it was us together, and she just blocked me immediately. And I was like, okay, if that's grounds for blocking, we got to find. Actually, I'm going to look it up and see if I can find it.

[Drew Phillips]

That is so funny.

[Kai]

But I can't find the fucking video. I can't find the picture. Sorry for the break, y' all, but it's somewhere out there in the Internet ether scape.

[Drew Phillips]

I saw a clip from, like, OG YouTube. I've been getting a lot of those on my TikTok timeline right now of, like, old YouTube, like, Bethany Mota, like, era YouTube. And the shit we were watching to pass the time was actually, we can't.

[Kai]

Make fun of the kids right now for watching Brain Rot because we were like, skibidi is like, oh, my God, Ermie Gerd. Like, it's literally like there's. Oh, there will always be brain rot for children to consume.

[Drew Phillips]

The one I was watching is this one. I'm gonna show it to you and I wonder if it's gonna make you crack up the way it made me crack up because I was like, girl, what the is happening? Like, I never watched this video when I was younger, but I like, I could have seen myself watching it. Also this.

[Kai]

What that looks fun. Is.

[Drew Phillips]

I know. And if it's actually a workout, like I want to do it.

[Kai]

It probably your abs up and gives you a big butt.

[Drew Phillips]

The perfect eye bat will look a little bit like this.

[Kai]

Wait, what is she teaching you? How to be, like, candid?

[Drew Phillips]

How to flirt? Oh, she show you how to I video just on fluttering your eyelashes.

[Kai]

Cuz I feel like, girl, she sucks. She flopped eye bat. Wait, they can't see.

[Drew Phillips]

Why are you like.

[Kai]

That was horrible.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, my God. Also, you look like you had something in your eye. You were like this.

[Kai]

I do it.

[Unknown]

What an eye bag.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Why are you looking?

[Kai]

Yes. Wait, hold on. Get in front of the camera.

[Unknown]

Okay.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, my God.

[Unknown]

Give me a second, guys.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, he has to crawl under the table. He has to crawl under the dining room table. Oh, did y' all hear my stomach?

[Kai]

Girl, you're hungry.

[Drew Phillips]

No, I'm about to everywhere, cuz Kai's making me uncomfortable. Ew. I like. What? How did you even learn you could do that?

[Unknown]

I don't know.

[Drew Phillips]

You shouldn't have been doing that.

[Kai]

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Can I come back? Okay, now go back. Why are you crawling like that?

[Unknown]

It's a low table.

[Kai]

I have to low table fade. Dude, my camera's all greasy and nice.

[Drew Phillips]

Because you're a greasy monster.

[Kai]

Sorry.

[Drew Phillips]

I call it how it is. That's my new vibe. That's my tread forecast.

[Kai]

It's calling it. What is going on?

[Drew Phillips]

Your camera's switching through, like, lenses.

[Kai]

That was actually what's going on. What? You know what I watched on YouTube? I know. I. I don't even know what I watched on YouTube.

[Drew Phillips]

When you were younger. I just watched family vlogs because my family was arguing and fighting so much.

[Kai]

What's that? Skeleton girl. She liked the baby dolls she had the room.

[Drew Phillips]

The blonde girl?

[Kai]

No, she was. Yeah, Texas. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

I don't remember her name.

[Kai]

She like Grimmy or something like that. Grimy Grims? No, Greasy Grove.

[Drew Phillips]

Grimsley.

[Kai]

I don't.

[Drew Phillips]

Grimsley. I know who you're talking about, and I Bet you all know who we're talking about.

[Kai]

Yeah, leave it in the comments.

[Drew Phillips]

She was like, loud, big blue eyes.

[Kai]

Yeah, she had the scary blue eyes. Who was it? Do you know? Graveyard Girl? Graveyard.

[Drew Phillips]

Graveyard Girl? Yeah. What's Graveyard Girl? I watched her. I watched that girl who's really good at sfx. Makeup.

[Kai]

Yeah, she was kind. She did the ginger girl.

[Drew Phillips]

She is so pretty.

[Kai]

When she did the Raven. Or is that the X Men girl? The blue one.

[Drew Phillips]

I want to see it.

[Kai]

She tore that up. I loved her. I remember watching her videos in 7th grade science class and it was post sex ed and then someone stole a little race car and our teacher had a meltdown conniption fit. She freaked the out, bruh.

[Drew Phillips]

Have I told y' all about, like, this is the like, most evil thing I did. But granted, I was literally like 12 and I was just an evil 12 year old.

[Kai]

Oh, when I was 12, I knew better.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, okay.

[Kai]

When I was 12, I knew better.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, you must think you know the world then. Yeah, well, when I was 12, I had no comprehension of, like, what OCD was and how, like, serious it was for some people. And I had a science teacher who was so mean to me because I sucked at science and she just thought I was really stupid and she.

[Kai]

Her, like she was faking it.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, that's how I feel.

[Kai]

OCD is not real.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, that's not what I meant.

[Kai]

It's not real. Okay, just like, depression and anxiety are phony too. Just eat a red steak and drink a glass of water and fix your gut. Health tired.

[Drew Phillips]

But she. Her. Her, like things were she didn't want. She hated composition notebooks. Like, they really freaked her out. So you weren't allowed to come into that classroom with, like, composition notebooks.

[Kai]

I loved composition books. Like, with the. The COVID I hated.

[Drew Phillips]

I liked the ringed one. So, like, she was with me on that. But she also hated cats. Like, cats really freaked her out. And like, she didn't like pictures of cats. She didn't like talking about cats. Like, they really freaked her out.

[Kai]

For you drawing a picture of a.

[Drew Phillips]

No, listen. One time she gave me detention and I got so fudgeing mad because she called my parents and said that I was talking during class. So I took a composition notebook from my fucking house, I cut out a bunch of pictures of cats, and I like, filled the book with pictures of cats and covered the notebook. And I was walking past the room and I literally, like, bent over, like, shot it under the door and ran down the staircase and I literally heard her go, what? What? What? And, like, freaking out in the room. And then she was like, asking all the classes. She was like, who? Like, who put that in here? And then I just didn't look her in the eyes.

[Kai]

I was like, it wasn't me.

[Drew Phillips]

Was me. And I that is diagnosed. I didn't even tell any of my friends about it too, because I was like, I'm not getting caught for that. I already got detention like three times from this bitch. I'm not doing it again. The reason she gave me detention is because I got a 15% on a quiz and she called it out trying to, like, make me feel stupid in front of the class. And I literally looked at her and I was like, I don't care. I guessed everything. So 15% is actually really good for, like. And I was like, I didn't even read the question. So if you think about it, 50% is actually so good. And then she was like, you think that's funny to not take this class seriously? And I was like, yeah. And then she gave me detention.

[Kai]

She's up.

[Drew Phillips]

But I ate her ass up. I was like, I don't give a about a 50, like what you think. I give a how deers are born. Like, I just want to look at them. I don't give a about what they.

[Kai]

Do when the clouds rain, when they're sunshine out.

[Drew Phillips]

I agree with that. That's what my grandma told me.

[Kai]

Abuela.

[Drew Phillips]

Abuela. I don't know my grandma's name, bro.

[Kai]

It's literally just Abuela.

[Drew Phillips]

That her name is Abuela. That's it. Like, I don't know. I just don't think you need to know certain people's names. And your grandma is one of those people.

[Kai]

Literally.

[Drew Phillips]

Actually, I asked her if she had pictures of herself when she was younger, and she was like, no. And she was like, I didn't have a picture of myself until I was like, maybe 56. And I was like, literally. What the are you talking about?

[Unknown]

That's lit.

[Drew Phillips]

Huh?

[Kai]

Do you all know what nugget couches are?

[Drew Phillips]

No.

[Kai]

Do you know what they are?

[Unknown]

No.

[Kai]

Okay, so they're these, like, really popular kids toy right now. It's like a modular sofa for children, right? They're like foam lining.

[Drew Phillips]

It's Ikea furniture collector.

[Kai]

No, it literally is. And people, like, collect the out of the ways. It's literally, like, supreme for, like, mothers and fathers, and they collect them for their children. And you can big. They're really sick, actually. You can build, like, really big forts out of them. And like, you can. They're just like fun toys for, like, nourishment for children. Like, they, like, become super mobile and, like, you can fall on them and it won't hurt. And they're kind of a vibe. Well, there's some dark lore behind nugget couches. So people were, like, looking in these mommy groups and someone got suggested this nugget couches after dark. And basically, are there adults on the nugget. They make literal sex swings and, like, sex toys and, like, sex beds out of these nugget couches. And they never thought to think, like, oh, wait, my kids play on these. And now we do s at night with them. And it became like this huge thing on Tick Tock. And everybody was eating these parents up. And there were people, like, there was like two sides. They were like, defending it. And then there were families, like, old. Like, I just bought it for me and my wife. Like, we just. I just bought it for me and my husband. Our kids don't even touch it. There were videos of their kids playing on it. So they were literally lying. But, like, Madeline and Steven just got one. They had no idea about the nugget lore. So I put them on and they posted an unboxing of it. And all of the comments were like, I don't think they know about the law of the nugget couch. And it was just cracking me the fuck up.

[Drew Phillips]

Stop. Also, like, can y' all keep some shit to your fucking self? Like, I don't want to know where you're fudgeing in your fucking house. Like, yeah, like.

[Kai]

Like me and in your. In his bed, on the couch counter, on this chair, and y' all sat in it. And that's the craziest thing. If y' all came to the L A show, y' all sat in this chair where we did s. And it was crazy. And Kai joined, and that's why it's so dirty.

[Unknown]

I joined. I joined for a second. I was only involved for, like, cleaning up. Yeah, I was hosing it down.

[Kai]

What was that bit?

[Drew Phillips]

The tarp.

[Unknown]

My job was to put down the tarp.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, guy's the tarp guy for me and Drew.

[Unknown]

And I don't mind it. I actually like it. I like doing acts of service.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's your thing. That's always your thing.

[Kai]

Speaking of acts of service, challengers. Eh.

[Drew Phillips]

We haven't seen it.

[Kai]

I haven't seen it yet, but today I wanted to kind of rehash the conversation we were having because we didn't have it for the public, that trailer was doodoo kaka garbage. And when Zendaya was in that interview, being like, it's just like a movie you have to see three times, I was like, you're lucky if I go once, because that looks horrible. It looks horrible. Terrible. And then everybody that I've spoken to, except for two people, were like, that was one of the best movies I've ever seen.

[Drew Phillips]

I know. I. Like, I really was. Because even when Conan was here and he was like, oh, I'm gonna go to a screening for. I was like, I don't think that movie's gonna be good because the trailer was so stinky.

[Kai]

It was rank. It was horrible. But I. I always held out a little bit of faith because Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross would not say yes to a shitty movie.

[Drew Phillips]

Also, I have liked all of Luca's movies. Movies.

[Kai]

Yeah, exactly. So I was just like, there's probably something here, but everybody saw it. Kai saw it, was raving Boots about it.

[Unknown]

I was like, live texting you.

[Kai]

Yeah, Kai was live texting me in the theater.

[Unknown]

It was a horny movie. Okay, well, it's a special movie.

[Drew Phillips]

Remember when James Charles tweeted some about it? And then everybody get Finn, and everybody from the cast was like, why the are you.

[Kai]

Get off your phone, loser. But, yeah, that brings me to my next point. Trenton, Reznor and Atticus Ross are the greatest of all time, period. Hey, we just wanted to insert something really, really quick. We didn't see Challengers before we spoke on it. And just like a book, don't judge it by the trailer, because that was lit, y' all.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, that movie was so good. And my walk away because I had such big things to say about the trailer is I think the trailer was done purposefully with the intent to get the average person to watch it and be like, cool sport movie.

[Kai]

Wrong gay agenda. Gay bisexual agenda.

[Drew Phillips]

Imagine, walk away from the movie like, this is a gay.

[Kai]

They were brothers fighting over a girl.

[Drew Phillips]

And they were brothers. Okay, I need all three of them.

[Kai]

Right now. Right?

[Drew Phillips]

That movie was so good. Also, the score of the movie was so good. The movie itself was so good. Everybody ate that role up, like, every person who was acting.

[Kai]

And, you know, and, you know, it's good because, like, we popped in here the day before the episode goes live to set the record straight. Because, like, that was one of the better movies I've seen.

[Drew Phillips]

Also, I feel like we're both pieces of shit in a way. Like, if we already think something's going to be bad. We have a hard time getting our opinion changed because, like, especially because some of the people who were like, no, it's so good. I was like, you would think.

[Kai]

You would think that.

[Drew Phillips]

So I went in being like, there's no way this movie is going to change me. I was like, my jaw was dropped and I cried.

[Kai]

Yeah, we were. We were gooped and gagged me. And then you had to go to the restaurant or the restroom at some point, and I had to adjust my boner before forgetting.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, my God.

[Kai]

It was good. Go watch it.

[Unknown]

Are you okay?

[Kai]

No, I literally. Yeah, I'm fine.

[Unknown]

Okay.

[Kai]

That was scary.

[Unknown]

The neuralink, like, shifted.

[Kai]

No, like, they were, like, popping.

[Drew Phillips]

Fell down your spine.

[Kai]

It was literally popping inside of my brain.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, it's literally slipping down your spine, like, zapping every, like, memory. But, yeah, I do want to watch the movie now because everybody says it's good, and I thought it was going to be bad. I just remembered also when I saw Bones and all, I have, like, audio messages, I think, on my other phone. Me and Orion were watching it, and we were cracking the up at, like.

[Kai]

Is that a movie? Penises. All of the penises.

[Unknown]

Bones and all. Oh, okay. I get it. Should we talk about Clam about.

[Drew Phillips]

Y' all need to stop. Y' all are disgusting.

[Unknown]

Wait, why were you laughing during Bones and all.

[Drew Phillips]

If y' all haven't seen Bones? And I'll.

[Kai]

It's been three years.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, but no, the scene where, like, they're, like, eating each other. Me and Orion were crying because we were like, oh, my God, this is, like, so sweet. But we were cracking the up at, like, the camera just panning way. It's like, no, no, like, them, like, off camera. And, like, you're supposed to just insinuate that, like, she's eating him. And we were cracking up because I was like, it was that scene. And then there was, like, another scene that was just making me laugh so hard. But I really do like that movie. That movie is, like, kitschy. Like, campy. To me, that's, like, a fun movie.

[Kai]

To love is to die.

[Drew Phillips]

You need to read a book soon. Like, soon. Soon.

[Kai]

Love is to die because you give yourself to another person.

[Drew Phillips]

I was talking to somebody the other.

[Kai]

Day before is gone.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay. I was talking to somebody the other day who had it see Call me by your name. And it actually, like, floored me. I was like, how have you not seen that movie?

[Kai]

I literally.

[Drew Phillips]

You might just be a little homophobic if you haven't seen that movie, like, at this point. Come on.

[Kai]

I want to fucking go see Broke that mountain in the theater. Because I thought it was a Western and it was just two dudes fucking the whole time.

[Drew Phillips]

I actually still haven't seen Brokeback Mountain. I think that's the only gay movie I haven't seen that.

[Kai]

The outcry and the backlash that that movie received in its peak was absolutely insane. Like, I understand, because we just weren't there culturally yet, and we weren't ready for it, and that was a very big stepping stone. But that movie is good as. And that is not a hot take at all. But, like, that's a good movie.

[Drew Phillips]

I like that. I. I've seen literally every other movie that is gay. You know the movie the sounds like. Show it to me, please, Rachel. Rachel. And it was like, when somebody mentions, like, you in 2023, a homoerotic movie, like, about, like, friends. And it was like, please show it to me. Show me to me, Rachel, please.

[Kai]

Yo. Anya was logged into my HBO account, and she would use the list feature in literally every single movie on the list. Feature was, like, lgbt, like, lesbian love. Like, girl on girl. Like, it was every single one. Like, it was crazy. And she's a vibe. And she's a vibe.

[Drew Phillips]

Well, I really want to re watch Portrait of a Lady.

[Kai]

That was. That movie was horrifyingly sad.

[Drew Phillips]

It's so good.

[Kai]

All me, you, and Orion just sobbing together after watching that.

[Drew Phillips]

I know. I think I was supposed to go to Miami the next day, and I stayed up extra late to, like, watch it, and I was sobbing, but I want to watch it again. The number, the number. The number on the painting. The number. The number means so much.

[Kai]

I'm literally. Kai, have you seen it?

[Unknown]

I haven't, but I'm writing it down right now. Of course I'm adding it to my list.

[Drew Phillips]

It's so freaking good, bro. It is absolute yearning to the max. Yearning, Maximalism.

[Unknown]

Once I finished reading my year of rest and relaxation.

[Drew Phillips]

I don't ever finish that book, man.

[Kai]

Gargo's Lanthimos, My Year in Restaurant.

[Unknown]

Is that real?

[Kai]

Yes. Yeah, it's real. And we got some insider tea yesterday that I will not be sharing. But, like, from what it went from to what it is now, I'm kind of sad, but it'll still be good.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, I'm like. Like, I feel like adapting books into movies is really hard, especially when the book is, like, loved. Like, when it's a random ass book no bitch has heard of. It's like per. Like, do Dune.

[Kai]

Who gives A fuck are you saying? No one heard of Dune?

[Drew Phillips]

But, like, who the fuck, like, in our life, in our circle has read through Dune? That's what I mean is, like, I've never met somebody in the. I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm reading this right now. And they're like, you. I just read Dune. Like, I just finished Dune. I've never met a human who's finished Dune the book.

[Unknown]

Hell, no. Isn't there, like, it's 20 books?

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

And they're each million pages.

[Kai]

Yeah. There's, like, 100 books. And then the son, after the original writer died, like, wrote, like, 13 that got included for some reason. And they're fucking horrible ass. There. There's, like, four good books.

[Drew Phillips]

That's why I don't believe in family legacy. Like, just because somebody in your family did some does not need, like, mean. You need to pick it up. Like, you don't need to pick it.

[Kai]

Up, like, the fuck alone. Do y' all want to see the books that I ordered last night or yesterday? Because when I was driving home after the gym, I was, like, horrifyingly sad, and I was like, oh, my God, no. I need to fix this. I need to fix this. I need to get, like, books. I need to. I need to read. I need to, like, feel comfortable.

[Drew Phillips]

Did you get happy books? I don't think I've ever read a happy book in my goddamn life. I've never read a book that made me go, wow, life is beautiful. It's like, actually, no, that's a lie. Some of them are really beautiful, but it's, like, by somebody who, like, died from, like.

[Kai]

I didn't not get happy books.

[Drew Phillips]

What books?

[Kai]

I got the Idiot. I got the Metamorphosis. I got no Longer Human, and then I got the Tibetan Book of the Dead. But the only reason I got this one one was because also, I mean, it's super sick. Like, I'm pretty sure it's about, like, reincarnation and. And I need that. I need that. But also, it's the book and Enter the Void, and I found one with the exact same cover for $43. When I was looking for it, like, for the past, like, five years, they were, like, 800 for, like, this cover of the book. So I am so excited.

[Drew Phillips]

That's, like, when I really wanted my friend Lebowitz first editions. And then, like, a month I was looking at them, and they were, like, 50. And I was like, dude, I don't want to spend $50. And then it got republished into, like, the big book of all her books. And then all of the first editions were like 500. And then finally they went back down and I bought them. And then I realized, like, I love Franley Woods. She's so interesting and she's really funny to me, but I don't think I like her writing style. Like, but she eats down. Like, I love Friendly Woods. Not that I even have to say that because that doesn't have a phone. So she's not gonna see this. But I love Fran, but she's not my bae. My BAE is Cookie Mueller.

[Kai]

That's my bae and Drew Phillips.

[Drew Phillips]

You've. You've seemed loose and like, loose, like for the streets, kind of. So you're not my baby right now.

[Unknown]

Well, I figured out my sexuality.

[Drew Phillips]

Guys, what is it?

[Unknown]

Isn't this exciting? It's sapio sexual.

[Drew Phillips]

Sapio sexual?

[Unknown]

Yeah, I'm sapio sexual. I'm attracted to intellectual.

[Drew Phillips]

Don't you have to have that? Don't you have to have that to recognize it in other people, though?

[Unknown]

No, you don't need it.

[Kai]

He's saying that publicly.

[Unknown]

Why?

[Kai]

It's like, not cool.

[Unknown]

What do you. What's not cool?

[Kai]

Never mind, ma' am.

[Unknown]

Okay.

[Drew Phillips]

You're only supposed to like girls.

[Unknown]

Yeah, I guess.

[Drew Phillips]

At least that's what I've heard.

[Unknown]

Yeah, that's the rule.

[Drew Phillips]

That's just kind of what I've, like, heard through the grapevine is like, boys. Oh, wait, we know that though.

[Kai]

Adam and Steve. Adam and Eve. More like Adam, Steve and Eve Polyamory babe. Oh, see, it landed. Now, I did it in Josiah's video. And Josiah and Inya were like, girl, shut the up.

[Drew Phillips]

Because that was after he said a bunch of weird, like, random things. Like we put the camera in his hand for one second and he just started like, so spit firing at us. And we were like, where is all of this coming from? Like, we haven't said anything to you. But you, me and Josie are literally Adam. Even Steve.

[Kai]

Yeah, literally.

[Drew Phillips]

You're Steve, though.

[Kai]

Yeah. Oh, for sure.

[Drew Phillips]

And what's his name?

[Kai]

No, I'm Adam. Josiah is Steve, I guess.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. Cuz that's our side.

[Unknown]

Hell, I'm God. I'm God. I'm the omnipresent.

[Kai]

No, you're the rib that was taken out of whatever, the rip.

[Unknown]

I'm the snake.

[Kai]

Yeah, yeah, you're the apple.

[Unknown]

Because I'm sweet.

[Kai]

If we take a bite out of.

[Unknown]

You, Kai, it would be sweet, but.

[Kai]

It would also be like, you're this in the last thing I want to Talk about is the Blue Man Group.

[Unknown]

Yes. Yes.

[Kai]

The. Literally what the y' all. Have y' all, like, Have y' all ever, like, actually, like. Like, looked into that? Like, dude, that.

[Drew Phillips]

That group is literally the exact definition of like, what goes through a man's head when he starts losing his hair and he doesn't have self acceptance. Like, that is the perfect.

[Kai]

They're all in bald caps. They're all involved.

[Drew Phillips]

Wait, I thought they were actually.

[Kai]

And they're painted blue in, like, oil paint. And then they play, like, paint drums like, insane ever. And there's not just one group of them. They, like, there's like, four. It's like a cult. There's, like 40 of them. Then there's, like, 10 separate Blue man groups, and they have, like, shows all across the world. Yeah.

[Unknown]

There's Kevin Abstract. There's Matt Champion. There's Joba.

[Drew Phillips]

This is the craziest Blue Man Group.

[Kai]

Did you hear that in you?

[Unknown]

I was like, there's Kevin Abstract. There's Matt Champion.

[Drew Phillips]

Joba. This is the craziest Blue Man Group. I hate this.

[Kai]

Like, glow paint everywhere. This is an edit.

[Unknown]

The cutaway to the reactions they dead ass thought.

[Kai]

I hate that.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, like. Okay, first of all, this is my bone to pick. And this is the last thing I'll say in the episode. They need to go back to crazy editing. In RuPaul's Drag Race, they used to literally destroy the girls on that fucking show. And the editing would literally, like, shift your, like, view of them. Yeah, I would, like, change your perspective of the whole show.

[Kai]

It's all about perspective.

[Drew Phillips]

He has said that eight times this week. I'm not kidding.

[Kai]

It actually might be all about perspective.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, how are you shocked every time you say it?

[Kai]

I just came up with that. No, like, you would be shocked, too, if you came up with something so great.

[Drew Phillips]

Well, I see. I come up with great things so often that I'm not shocked by anymore. I'm actually. I've become so jaded by.

[Kai]

Name one great thing.

[Drew Phillips]

Name one great thing in general that.

[Kai]

You came up with. Love.

[Drew Phillips]

You mean love? Yeah.

[Kai]

That was you.

[Drew Phillips]

I taught you guys love.

[Unknown]

That was.

[Kai]

Wait, literally us in the Big Brother. What was the Kevin abstract thing? Baby Brother?

[Drew Phillips]

Peach in the.

[Kai]

The video, Me talking in the front of the.

[Drew Phillips]

Is that Peach?

[Kai]

I don't know. Is it Baby Boy?

[Unknown]

I don't know. Oh, where you're like Baby Boy talking about how you love each other. That was so sweet. I actually only saw that a year ago on Tick Tock.

[Kai]

Oh, they post reposted it.

[Unknown]

No, I think like a fan posted it.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, it is peach, I think.

[Kai]

Baby boy. Baby boy.

[Drew Phillips]

No.

[Kai]

Yeah, you did. Show me platonic love.

[Drew Phillips]

Back to love you.

[Kai]

Love my queen. My beautiful queen.

[Drew Phillips]

Thank you.

[Kai]

Wait.

[Drew Phillips]

You're the best boyfriend I've ever had.

[Kai]

I can't do it. I can't flirt.

[Drew Phillips]

That's okay.

[Kai]

I just have aura. Everyone's just attracted to my aura. I'm dead serious.

[Drew Phillips]

I wonder how many people have been attracted to you and talk to him.

[Kai]

In like every, literally every single person ever. I'm not kidding.

[Drew Phillips]

But they need to go back to shady editing in RuPaul's Drag Race and that's it. And like, also stop being amazed by things like the detox thing, because that is not.

[Kai]

Or start being amazed by that shit. Because I'm tired of like, we need trashy broke queens. I'm sorry. We don't need like these put together sixty thousand dollar loan budget queens. Like new. No, no, no.

[Drew Phillips]

No loan budget queen.

[Kai]

We need to go back to Blue Man Group. I'm sorry. Because I saw a video of them in San Antonio, Texas on this fucking raft that they built. Pissed me the off. Like, I literally also I saw another clip of them. I went on a deep dive, y' all. It was like, I. And it was like, I would love to speak to them, I would love to talk to them, but I think they are you.

[Drew Phillips]

I, I feel like you would also find that they're like the most like boring guys ever.

[Kai]

That's what I'm saying.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, they definitely are like, yeah, like, I take my kids to school in the morning and then I answer some emails when I clean the house. Like, I feel like they don't do much. They definitely also have. Okay, they have to have side jobs. There's no way their main income is the Blue Man.

[Kai]

I mean, they literally, the main four are like literally like 365 days out of the year playing in Las Vegas. Like, if they're getting.

[Drew Phillips]

Who is going to that show? Actually, I, I, I, if I saw a poster for. I would go because I'm not kidding. In my life is when I was in Portugal, I was in this. No, I was in Spain in a random town on Mallorca and there was a poster for a Michael Jackson impersonator that I wanted to go to.

[Kai]

Why so bad?

[Drew Phillips]

Because. But we were like an hour away from our Airbnb and I was like, dude, I can't do that sober. Like that will I need to be drunk at a Michael Jackson in person. They were like, there's just certain things you can't do sober. And some would disagree, but okay, suck my balls from the back. I don't care. I need to be crossfit as fuck. Watching this man live out his Michael Jackson dreams. So I couldn't see. And I'm not kidding. It's actually crazy how often I think about that poster. I remember the temperature. I remember exactly what I was doing. I had just come back from the bathroom from the random restaurant that he was going to be performing at. And I was looking around, I was like, look at all these families who are going to get to see Michael Jackson, and I'm not. So I actually now I understand the Blue Man Group thing.

[Kai]

Sorry, I'm like, literally freaking the fuck out. I can't find this goddamn video.

[Drew Phillips]

You made that up. You fell asleep watching, like, I might dream they were on a ride.

[Kai]

It was New Braunfels festival and someone like the up house. And I was like, oh, that's lit. Then the Blue Man Group came out. Unless I'm literally making this up and, like, that would freak me out, y'.

[Drew Phillips]

All, I think you'll find it.

[Kai]

Give me a second.

[Drew Phillips]

You just watch so many Tick Tocks, it's not like you could go to your Tick Tock history.

[Kai]

Oh, wait, I literally could. Hold on. Let me see if this.

[Drew Phillips]

They need to add a search feature to the Tick Tock history because, like, scrolling through is too much. Yeah, because also then it freaks me out. I'm like, I don't even remember seeing half this.

[Kai]

It's so up. Can't wait. What just happened?

[Drew Phillips]

Well, I'm gonna watch the video of the lady getting attacked by the horse again.

[Kai]

Look at my watch history. I'm not kidding. It's all Blue Man Group. Like, I'm not even playing.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay. The man riding the horse told that to do that. Like, why did the horse do that? The lady, like, because the whole thing with the horses in London or wherever the hell that is is like, everybody always knows you're supposed to stay away from the horses and be far away. She was standing exactly where she should have been, so she had no reason to get bit up like that.

[Kai]

That horse was feel like not feeling it that day.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, it's kind of sad. This is someone's grandma. She was so happy.

[Kai]

I know. She literally just wanted a picture. Have you seen the one where, like, the like, armed guards just like, scream in people's faces? It'll be like a child come up.

[Drew Phillips]

To me for a picture. I'm Gonna bite your sleeve and drag you to the floor.

[Kai]

It'll be like a child that's, like, in the way of their walking path, and they'll just check the out of them and throw them to the side like garbage.

[Drew Phillips]

Like. What?

[Kai]

Y' all didn't get my reference? But I was humming to the sound of the refrigerator. How did I watch this many videos, bro? Was it up here?

[Drew Phillips]

Okay, Drew, I'm actually about to myself, so we need to go.

[Kai]

Whatever, y' all. Y' all find it if you want it. I'm not looking for it anymore. Y' all are, like, pissing me off.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay, well, media of the week is. I don't want to tell you.

[Kai]

Pet Shop Boys. What song were we listening to yesterday?

[Drew Phillips]

West End girls or Dominoes?

[Kai]

Dominoes. I love dominoes. Or I also love western girls. West in girls, you can drive my fast car.

[Drew Phillips]

I want a fast car. It's crazy what Tick Tock does, because I can never listen to that song and not think of the, like, the blonde girl with the hat on.

[Kai]

Like, it's forever. I was literally just about to say that. I'm gonna find that one. Casanova 70 by air.

[Drew Phillips]

Say yes to heaven.

[Kai]

Hey.

[Drew Phillips]

Yes, I got my eyes on you.

[Kai]

Wait, that sounded actually, like, really good. What was I gonna look up? Oh, yeah. Like, this is what I looked up.

[Drew Phillips]

Her proportions look insane.

[Kai]

She tore.

[Drew Phillips]

It's a weird clip from Boys Don't Cry.

[Kai]

A little bit of money.

[Drew Phillips]

A lot of y' all won't get my reference. Silver Dagger by Joan Bay. Just for a moment. Ronnie Wood and Ronnie Lane. You go where I go. Walter Becker and Donald Fagan. There was a song that I heard yesterday on my Discover Weekly before, like, Renewed, and it was a song you would have liked because it was really sweet. And it was, like, about, like, an uncle and a niece, and I'm. But I'm assuming, like, the song was insinuating that, like, the daughter didn't have a father figure, so the uncle was, like, trying to be that for her. But it was really cute. And I'm gonna find it because it made me think of you and Luna. It was really sweet.

[Kai]

I love my Luna girl. All right, well, they know about it. We should do that at the end of every episode. Now we're gonna start singing songs that we like. They know about it. They know about it.

[Drew Phillips]

What song is that?

[Kai]

I don't know. Black Beatles in the city. Say it ridicul. Miraculously, it's coming looking at me.

[Drew Phillips]

All right, bye, guys.

[Kai]

Oh, y' all really Thought y' all really thought that I forgot. Psyop. I did. Throw me to the wolves and I'll come back pregnant. Shout out, Sarah.

[Drew Phillips]

That's a good one. To be fair, Drew said it off camera and we all laughed.

[Kai]

So this is a tweet from the Joey Davis propaganda. How about I take a propaganda at your boobs?

[Drew Phillips]

I don't like that one.

[Kai]

We say how quiet it gets in between. I'm tired of people asking me if I'm an introvert or an extrovert. Bitch. I'm a pervert.

[Drew Phillips]

That's me. What? Me saying that's me. We need more girl pervert.

[Unknown]

Dead silent.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm a girl pervert.

[Kai]

Yeah, I've been, like, losing, like, I haven't been collecting memes for my, like, private meme account in so long, and I've just, like, been trying to, like, get my algorithms back into showing me memes so I have more content to just post to the.

[Drew Phillips]

But you're watching BL for 30 minutes.

[Kai]

Yeah. To post to the 23 followers that are actually active on that account. I just realized y' all send me, like, literally thousands of memes a day into my emails, and I'm going to start sourcing them there. Adriana said, don't you love when your coochie hairs poke through your undies and it feels like a little hedgehog?

[Drew Phillips]

Okay, this one is for my girl, and she knows who she is. I can't stand a moody man. What is your problem now, girl?

[Kai]

I'll find one more. I love this picture. Atlanta. Mr. Beast. This is from Ruby. I thought my homegirl was cooking fish. She in the living room doing squats. That's that. That's that.

[Drew Phillips]

All right, Bye.

[Kai]

Bye. For real now.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and safeway now through June 24th. Score hot summer savings and earn four times the points. Look for in store tags on items like Kinder Bueno Cheesy Crackers, Oscar Meyer lunchables, and Just Bear chicken bites. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event long savings. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in store or online for easy drive up and go pickup or delivery subject to availability restrictions apply. Visit Albertson or Safeway.com for more details.