Halloween spooktacular special

Summary

Podcast Summary: Emergency Intercom – Halloween Spooktacular Special

Episode Information:

• Title: Halloween Spooktacular Special
• Hosts: Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips
• Release Date: October 25, 2024

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1. Halloween Costumes and Preparations

The episode kicks off with the hosts discussing their Halloween preparations, emphasizing the challenges and humorous mishaps that come with creating elaborate costumes.

• Elena (00:54): Expresses frustration with the intense heat affecting their ability to stay in costume comfortably.
• Drew Phillips (07:07): Introduces himself in a Ruth Bader Ginsburg (RBG) inspired costume, blending wit with satire: “I'm Ruth Baker Ginsburg... I can't help you, can I?” (01:35).

The conversation delves into the difficulty of balancing performance with comfort, leading to comedic exchanges about their dog’s involvement in Halloween festivities.

• Elena (07:01): Jokes about investing in a realistic mermaid tail, revealing childhood desires: “When I was a kid, I wanted one so bad.” (07:28).

2. Letting Dogs Vote: A Satirical Debate

A recurring theme is the humorous proposition of granting dogs voting rights, exploring the absurdity and comedic potential of such an idea.

• Drew Phillips (02:14): “Let the dogs vote. I wanna vote. I wanna wear wigs and I wanna get an abortion.” (02:17).
• Josiah (19:15): Expands the concept: “Let the dogs get abortions, pierce their ears, wear wigs, get divorced, and even get married.” (04:25).

This segment satirizes political activism, blending it with pet humor to entertain listeners.

3. Health Updates and Personal Anecdotes

The hosts share personal health journeys, interspersed with humor and candid discussions about medical procedures.

• Drew Phillips (12:29): Reveals his recent endoscopy and colonoscopy: “I have erosive gastritis and esophagitis... I also have a hiatal hernia.” (12:35).
• Elena (09:27): Discusses attempting to manage Josiah's digestive issues: “I've been drinking a bunch of Miralax daily.” (14:19).

Their openness about health struggles adds a relatable and sincere layer to the comedic banter.

4. Shock Collars and Pet Discipline

A humorous debate ensues about the efficacy and ethics of using shock collars for dogs, highlighting differing opinions and comedic misunderstandings.

• Drew Phillips (08:35): Clarifies misconceptions: “No, they shock them. They actually use vibrating ones, but they...” (08:35).
• Elena (08:16): Questions the reality of shock collars: “I always thought shock collars were, like, fake, like, a thing they say in movies.” (08:30).

This discussion blends pet care with satire, poking fun at popular misconceptions.

5. Performance Art and Creativity

The hosts reflect on performance art, expressing admiration for its innovation while critiquing its accessibility.

• Elena (18:10): “Most performance art looks like batshit crazy... I wish we planned this properly and rented out a space.” (18:10).

They contemplate integrating performance art into their podcast, blending creativity with their signature humor.

6. Social Media Pranks and Viral Moments

Stories about engaging in or witnessing viral pranks on platforms like TikTok are shared, highlighting the blend of real-life antics with digital humor.

• Josiah (16:14): Mentions prank calling: “He asked if they had room for 150,000 people... they said no, like 50.” (16:36).
• Elena (21:07): Recounts a live stream prank involving the dog: “He moved the camera... something is seriously sinister there.” (21:09).

These anecdotes showcase the hosts' playful interactions and their knack for turning everyday moments into comedic gold.

7. Musical Interests and Concert Experiences

The discussion shifts to music, with the hosts sharing their favorite artists and concert experiences, blending genuine appreciation with humor.

• Elena (38:13): Praises performer Charlie: “Charlie is one of the best performers I've ever seen... I couldn't keep my eyes off of her.” (38:13).
• Josiah (38:35): Compares stage presence: “Charlie's stage presence is the closest you can get.” (38:35).

Their conversations reveal a shared love for music, interwoven with their comedic perspectives.

8. Mental Health Conversations

The hosts touch upon their mental health journeys, discussing challenges and coping mechanisms with a mixture of sincerity and humor.

• Elena (43:24): Shares struggles with intense Catholic guilt and medication: “I have intense Catholic guilt... I'm on medication.” (43:24).
• Josiah (73:38): Opens up about self-hatred: “I hate people. I hate myself.” (73:38).

These moments add depth to the episode, highlighting the hosts' vulnerabilities amidst the laughter.

9. Light-hearted Banter and Humor

Throughout the episode, rapid-fire jokes, wordplay, and playful insults keep the energy high and listeners entertained.

• Drew Phillips (25:32): Playfully compliments Kai: “You look smart.” (25:32).
• Josiah (25:50): Teases Elena: “You look like a guy in 2010 who's kind of a piece of shit.” (25:40).

This ongoing banter exemplifies the hosts' chemistry and their ability to maintain a lively atmosphere.

10. Concluding Remarks and Farewells

As the episode wraps up, the hosts engage in final humorous exchanges, reiterating their camaraderie and setting the tone for future episodes.

• Elena (86:53): “Why did he bend over like that?” (55:21).
• Josiah (87:43): Reflects on past events: “We have not addressed, like, the main thing that happened this week.” (83:52).

Their good-natured sign-offs leave listeners anticipating more laughter and engaging conversations in upcoming episodes.

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Notable Quotes:

• Drew Phillips (12:35): “It's just the wall of your stomach, the lining of your Stomach is being eroded because your stomach's producing way too much acid and it's harmful acid.”
• Josiah (19:15): “Let the dogs get abortions. Let the dogs pierce their ears. Let the dogs wear wigs.”
• Elena (43:05): “Do you want to put on your other... Oh. Oh, yeah. You can sit in your chair.”
• Kai (60:30): “So I've been thinking a lot, and I feel like I'm not straight. I'm actually a bisexual person.”

---

Conclusion:

In this Halloween Spooktacular Special, Emergency Intercom delivers a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and satirical debates, all wrapped in the hosts' signature comedic style. From discussing outrageous Halloween costumes to delving into personal health struggles and engaging in playful banter about letting dogs vote, the episode offers a rich tapestry of conversations that entertain and resonate with listeners. Notable quotes punctuate the dialogue, adding memorable moments that capture the essence of the show's lively dynamics.

Transcript

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Kai]

Oh.

[Drew Phillips]

All right.

[Kai]

Now I understand why you're saying you were hot. I don't even think she. She can't sit.

[Elena]

I. I got it. Oh. My name is Elena and I'm Dr. Now announcing Drew Phillips as RGB with wheel legs. I can't help you, can I?

[Kai]

Look.

[Elena]

I like, can't.

[Josiah]

Even fucking see me. I'm not even in frame. My whole outfit isn't even in fucking frame. My name is Drew Phillips and I'm Ruth Baker Ginsburg. Chair.

[Elena]

Woo.

[Josiah]

All right, I'm in position.

[Elena]

All right. Now, introducing the dog who wishes to vote.

[Josiah]

Reveal yourself.

[Drew Phillips]

It's so nice of you to have me. Let the dogs vote. I wanna vote. I wanna wear wigs and I wanna get an abortion.

[Josiah]

Pierce their ears.

[Drew Phillips]

Let dogs get abortion.

[Josiah]

Let the dogs pierce their ears.

[Drew Phillips]

This is actually me.

[Josiah]

Let the dogs wear wigs.

[Drew Phillips]

Did this.

[Elena]

This is the most insane you've ever looked at.

[Josiah]

This is like horrible. This was terrible.

[Elena]

I mean, like, if we're gonna context, I am 8,000 degrees right now because not only are there lights shining on us, but this is insulation foam. And I literally the heat radiating from my body through my neck hole into my face.

[Josiah]

Can you see my face? Look how fucking sweaty I am.

[Elena]

Oh, you are sweaty.

[Drew Phillips]

And yeah, I bet you wish you were out on a cold winter's night with all that insulation. Be real warm.

[Elena]

I bet you wish we would take you on a walk so you can pee anywhere but the floor of our house and we're not going to clean it up.

[Drew Phillips]

I have been like peeing myself lately. I also been hella hungry for like bones.

[Josiah]

Can you use the fucking pee pad? Like, what was the reason of getting that? You begged and begged and begged.

[Elena]

I know he like, literally he got our phones without our permission and ordered on Amazon, like lifetime supply of pee pads, but he keeps just peeing on the rugs.

[Drew Phillips]

I forgot to get into like pose. I just. It's more comfortable to sit like this for me.

[Elena]

Because you're a dog.

[Drew Phillips]

What the dog doing.

[Josiah]

What is the dog doing?

[Elena]

Every time we do a Halloween episode, I forget that, like, at the end of getting ready and doing all this, we have to actually do an episode of the podcast. And then my brain just feels, like, genuinely jarred and confused. But I think a good topic to start on would be.

[Josiah]

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Welcome back to this episode of Emergency Intercom Halloween special Three.

[Elena]

This. I think this might be four.

[Josiah]

No, this is three.

[Elena]

No, this is four.

[Drew Phillips]

No, this is four.

[Elena]

Because I did the devil. The devil.

[Josiah]

Cruella made me do it.

[Drew Phillips]

Cruella Harley, Exorcist. And now this is the fourth one. The dog.

[Elena]

What was my second one?

[Josiah]

The devil.

[Elena]

The devil. Pearl, Dorothy. And I'm Drew's chair.

[Drew Phillips]

Why do you keep laughing when you.

[Kai]

Look like I'm in, like, an insane asylum or something?

[Drew Phillips]

It's not an insane asylum. Okay. Thank you, Ruth Gator Ginsburg, for everything that you did. Actually.

[Josiah]

Yeah, that'll shout her out for real.

[Drew Phillips]

Rip. Rip.

[Elena]

That's why y' all need to vote.

[Drew Phillips]

That dog on the poster is probably also dead. It's probably an older photo.

[Elena]

No, I don't think that.

[Josiah]

No, he's not dead. Okay?

[Drew Phillips]

It. I mean, he's not. He's right in front of you.

[Josiah]

Reanimated. We reanimate. We found the wig hairs, and we reanimated him.

[Drew Phillips]

Dude. Like, the fact that it has come to this point with this bullshit. Like, have y' all told a story about this?

[Elena]

No, we haven't. Or did we say that, like, this Pulled out of the garbage, by the way.

[Josiah]

We just said we stole it from a fan accidentally.

[Elena]

So the fan who got it made a story time on how they got it, and they pulled that out of.

[Drew Phillips]

The trash on their way to the.

[Elena]

Show on the way to see us. They saw it, and they thought we'd think it was funny. So that piece of garbage, literally, like, it went from garbage to Josiah. Fully embodying that person, dude.

[Drew Phillips]

Because I when saw it, like, I'm not joking. Something changed. Like, it just made me so happy, like, seeing them hold it up, and I was like, grab that. Please grab that. We need to get that.

[Kai]

Josiah's profile looks so up.

[Josiah]

So scary.

[Drew Phillips]

Why is it beautiful? What are you talking about?

[Elena]

Really nice.

[Drew Phillips]

I know. I've been using tretinoin.

[Elena]

Very clear.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm getting.

[Kai]

This is objectively horrifying to look at.

[Drew Phillips]

It's not, bro.

[Kai]

When you walked in, I got chills.

[Elena]

I would sleep with this, period. I would sleep with.

[Josiah]

India's into pup play.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. I guess now that we.

[Josiah]

Now we know bestiality, really the more you know.

[Kai]

Oh, yeah, because you watch that movie Animals.

[Elena]

Okay, I don't think I've talked about that on the podcast, but I did say that at a college show and I was so embarrassed because I was like, why did that just leave my mouth? Oh, no, I think I did say it on the podcast. One time. I was trying to find this one French movie and the director's name is literally Amal or some. And I looked up Animal movie and I was really, really.

[Josiah]

And now we're on a list.

[Kai]

Weren't you on a plane?

[Elena]

No, I was trying to download it for the plane. So it was like 3am, which is really worse.

[Kai]

I was imagining you, like, typing and waiting.

[Josiah]

Wait. Hi. You need to reveal your outfit.

[Kai]

Oh, yeah. Guys, wait. I have an outfit. I have a costume.

[Josiah]

Kai is the scariest. The scary tip jar.

[Kai]

Pretty cool, right? I'm, like, creative.

[Josiah]

My name is Kai and I'm the tip jar.

[Kai]

My name is Kai and I'm the.

[Elena]

No, say it with, like.

[Josiah]

You gotta put some.

[Kai]

My name is Kai and I'm the tip jar.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, did I even do it?

[Josiah]

That was misogynist.

[Elena]

I did one for you.

[Kai]

How is that massage?

[Drew Phillips]

My name is Josiah and I am the dog.

[Elena]

Well, I think my next investment is going to be a realistic mermaid tail. Because I've never confessed this on the podcast, but when I was a kid, I would get my ass on the family computer and I would look up mermaid tails for purchase. Did you go through that phase? Did you want a mermaid tail?

[Josiah]

Me?

[Elena]

Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

No. Why would I want that?

[Josiah]

Look at what you're going to swim.

[Drew Phillips]

Dogs cannot swim.

[Elena]

Wait, can dogs not swim? Wait, can dogs actually.

[Josiah]

No, dogs can swim.

[Drew Phillips]

I can tell you from experience, bro, dogs can't swim.

[Josiah]

Okay, that is anecdotal evidence. Like, you can't swim.

[Drew Phillips]

I can't swim. I'm a dog. Therefore, dogs can't swim.

[Josiah]

Josiah really does have that dog in him, though.

[Drew Phillips]

I do. This collar is so itchy and, like, I think I'm pleased or something.

[Elena]

The anti itch collar. So it shouldn't be doing that.

[Drew Phillips]

Then how do I still have.

[Josiah]

If you leave this room, it shocks you.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, we should have got a shot collar.

[Elena]

We should get Josie a shock collar.

[Josiah]

Wait, we should get one and try it out next time.

[Elena]

Aren't shock collars like. Like, aren't they vibrators? Like, they're just, like, vibrating.

[Drew Phillips]

No, they shock them.

[Josiah]

No, they shock.

[Drew Phillips]

They actually use vibrating ones, but they.

[Elena]

Shock And I always thought shock collars were, like, fake, like, a thing that, like, they say in movies.

[Drew Phillips]

No, it's.

[Josiah]

They're real. I've tried one before, actually. No, I tried shock wire at my grandma's farm.

[Drew Phillips]

Kai's vaping again.

[Kai]

No, it's the fog machine.

[Elena]

Kai opened his stinky fucking mouth.

[Kai]

Yeah, my big stinky pussy opened up.

[Josiah]

You can't say the P word.

[Elena]

Yeah, basically, I really want a mermaid tail, but, like, at this point, I feel like I'm too old to get it. Does that make sense? Like, at this point, if y' all caught me dead with a mermaid tail, like, on my body, I would get ridiculed for it. But when I was a kid, I wanted one. No, I think so fucking bad. There were, like. They were, like, people who would do unboxings, and they would get it for Christmas, and they would go into, like, their pool, the shallow end, and, like, flap their tail around.

[Josiah]

That fucking thing is making.

[Drew Phillips]

Is like, dude, I know.

[Josiah]

So distracting.

[Elena]

Sorry.

[Josiah]

I think you'd be surprised. I. There are probably so many people watching that would love mermaid content from you swimming in a fucking pool.

[Elena]

That's kind of my vibe. When I'm, like, 37, I think I'll just move to a house in Florida with a pool and start making mermaid content. It's kind of my life. Also. I'm so.

[Drew Phillips]

Fuck. That scares me really close to, like, something starting to burn.

[Elena]

I'm so hot that it's kind of.

[Josiah]

I know. It's, like, blowing cool air.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, I'm not that hot.

[Josiah]

Okay, well, we've been watching what would you do A bunch recently, and, like, yes, like, a lot.

[Elena]

Dude, it's so good. So good.

[Josiah]

I don't think y' all understand. I know there's someone out there that does understand, but the LGBT episodes.

[Elena]

Okay. I just got.

[Josiah]

Okay. It's actually coming out of my mouth. You got to turn it off. Like, I'm actually. It's like I'm vaping.

[Kai]

Like, look where the thing is.

[Elena]

I know.

[Josiah]

Just turn it off from the back.

[Drew Phillips]

The LGBTQ episode.

[Josiah]

But the LGBTQ episodes of what would you do? Genuinely, like, made me feel so good as a kid. I really was like, oh, like, God is good. Life is good. Everything is gonna be okay.

[Elena]

I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing at, like, the ones we were seeing where people would be homophobic. Like, there would be people who were being hella homophobic, and then John Quiones would come out and be like, why did you do that? And they're like, I just don't think it's that big of a deal to be gay. Like, he would just. Everybody would switch up once John came out, and. And then they would replay and be like, that's interesting, because that's not what you said. And then they replay it, and these people have already signed away their rights for their face to be, like, not blurred.

[Josiah]

And also, card declined.

[Drew Phillips]

I love. I love that what you just said.

[Josiah]

I love you.

[Drew Phillips]

I love you too. I'm glad we're finally getting it out there.

[Josiah]

You say, I love Ruthie.

[Drew Phillips]

I love that feels weird because, like, she really was. I was related to her, and she's passed away.

[Elena]

You were related to Ruth Bader Ginsburg?

[Drew Phillips]

How do you think I got all this money? Hey, me driving my Honda Civic.

[Josiah]

Josiah paid for this dog Plastic surgery with Ruth Bader Ginsburg's money.

[Drew Phillips]

Dude.

[Elena]

What actually happened?

[Josiah]

She did get a bionic leg, so she really did have, like, a lot of fucking money. It, like, literally, like, hurts to, like, be crouched like this.

[Elena]

Do you want to put on your other. Oh. Oh, yeah. You can sit in your chair.

[Josiah]

Well, beauty is pain. Like, really? That's true.

[Drew Phillips]

Remember Beyonce said, pretty hurts.

[Josiah]

Pretty hurts. Whatever.

[Kai]

It's wor.

[Drew Phillips]

You don't know that song.

[Elena]

I. Oh, bitch. I know fucking Beyonce.

[Drew Phillips]

You don't know.

[Josiah]

I don't know if anyone knows.

[Drew Phillips]

Chill. She's like, the biggest artist in the world. Everyone knows her.

[Elena]

You don't know her like me, though.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay, well, what I was going to say is. Should I break the news? Finally hear the diagnoses of my stomach?

[Josiah]

Oh, yeah, Justin.

[Drew Phillips]

Gotta set it on the ground.

[Elena]

Well, you should give context just in case. Like, some people haven't been keeping up with it.

[Drew Phillips]

If you didn't know, bro, I got essentially spit roasted. I got an endoscopy on one end and then a colonoscopy in my bum.

[Josiah]

Eiffel Tower.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, it really was like. And they did it at the same time, and it was two men, so now I suppose I'm going to hell.

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

And they also drugged me. I mean, well, okay. I mean, they put me under anesthesia. They put me under anesthesia, which was scary, but, like, yeah, basically I did all that. They took a bunch of biopsies and everything. I have erosive gastritis.

[Elena]

I don't know what that is. I still don't. You've explained it to me, like, 18 times.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay. Basically, to put it in a really short thing, it's just the wall of your stomach, the lining of your Stomach is being eroded because your stomach's producing way too much acid and it's harmful acid. And then it goes up to your esophagus, and you have esophagitis as well, which is what I have, which is why I've had a sore throat for nine months. I mean, like, four months.

[Elena]

I thought you had a sore throat for that long because you guys share a bed every night. And I thought you guys were just like.

[Drew Phillips]

Well, no, it's because we make out.

[Josiah]

Has dethroned you as the throat goat.

[Drew Phillips]

Hey, yeah, I got you.

[Elena]

Let him pleasure you.

[Drew Phillips]

I also have a hiatal hernia.

[Elena]

Wait, do you? Actually, yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

It's.

[Elena]

What does that even mean?

[Drew Phillips]

It's, like, too much jargon to explain. It's not that big of a deal. Like, they put me on some fucking medication. We'll see what happens.

[Elena]

Well, the good news is I'm, like, perfectly healthy, personally. Like, bowel movements are good, eating very well.

[Josiah]

Recently, I've shit out a single chicken tender in the last 20 days. 20 days. 19 days.

[Elena]

Also, I would like to. I would like to clear. Clear the air. Drew has only been eating salad.

[Josiah]

Yes.

[Elena]

For the past, like, week.

[Josiah]

Only salad.

[Elena]

And you might find that no has come out of his butt.

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

Have you been having fruit a lot?

[Josiah]

No.

[Drew Phillips]

You should be. That makes you shit like crazy.

[Josiah]

I'm drinking prune juice.

[Drew Phillips]

That's good. That'll make you.

[Josiah]

Yeah, I've been drinking a bunch of prune juice. I've been drinking a bunch of Miralax daily. Lots of Miralax. It's giving Miralax.

[Elena]

Okay. I bought Drew something called, like, was it diatomaceous?

[Josiah]

Oh, yeah. And you got me diatomaceous earth, which is what's used to, like, kill bugs in your, like, flower beds. And I'm gonna drink it.

[Elena]

Laxative.

[Drew Phillips]

Diatomaceous. Wait, what is it?

[Elena]

Diatomaceous earth.

[Drew Phillips]

Diatomaceous D sounds like a slam poetry.

[Josiah]

Rapper from Diatomaceous D's Nuts.

[Elena]

Diatomaceous earth is Dee Dee Megadoodoo's daughter.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, Dee Dee Mega doo doo.

[Elena]

We wanted to be. One of us wanted to be the announcer who said, dd mega doo doo. And, like, get like. I was thinking.

[Drew Phillips]

You would have been perfect.

[Josiah]

I was going to be that.

[Elena]

And then I was, like, thinking in my head. I was like, damn, that'd be perfect, too, to get, like, a little, like, wireframe to hold up a picture in front of him so it looks like he's in the newscast. But then we remembered that that joke also involves somebody who literally died so.

[Josiah]

It'S like getting like. But also, Ruth Bader Ginsburg is dead.

[Elena]

I know, but, like, this is kind.

[Josiah]

Of like it's paying homage. And it's a tribute, really.

[Elena]

Yeah, it's like a tribute. Like, we love her. She did so much goodness for us. And without her.

[Drew Phillips]

Without her, you wouldn't be able to have a bank account, babe.

[Elena]

Well, you can't have a bank account or anything because you're a dog.

[Josiah]

But he's got that dog in it.

[Drew Phillips]

But I got that dog in me. I'd be like.

[Elena]

And that's why you're sitting around begging for the right to, like, begging.

[Josiah]

Begging. Bacon strips.

[Drew Phillips]

Those have been sounding so good too. I don't know why, but my appetite's completely changed. Hungry for bones. Hungry for, like, chow. Like, do you know? Ciao.

[Elena]

Yeah, you gotta get you, like, some tennis balls. Oh, man. Oh, now you can finally eat a shoe.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, my God.

[Elena]

I wish you could prank.

[Josiah]

Wait, should we prank call someone right now? We should prank call someone.

[Elena]

Yeah, but I wish you could prank call with a FaceTime. Imagine answering the phone and it's a dog and he's asking to eat the shoe.

[Josiah]

That would be funny. But I also. We should prank call someone. I've been seeing this guy online recently, prank call places and ask if they have a room for 16,000 people. And it's been killing me, like, $60.

[Elena]

Did he call like a Pizza Hut or something and ask, like, what they're.

[Josiah]

It was a McDonald's and he asked if they had a. Had room for an event for 150,000 people. And they were like, no, like 50.

[Elena]

Wait, what is the capacity of most fast food restaurants? Fast food restaurants, literally, if you go in there and you're sitting down to eat. Honestly, you are such a vibe. Like, I genuinely. So much respect for people who walk into the fast food place to eat there. Like, anytime I've done it. I genuinely feel very good.

[Josiah]

It's all. It's. It's a very grounding thing to do.

[Elena]

Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

Like you like on vacay a lot? I feel like.

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

And I love it.

[Josiah]

It's just a good pat. It's a way to pass the time without feel useless.

[Elena]

I haven't been inside of a Taco Bell in for.

[Drew Phillips]

Dude, I was about to say the only one we don't be going into is Taco Bell. That.

[Elena]

Yeah, I want to.

[Drew Phillips]

We have to stay outside.

[Josiah]

There's roaches in every Taco Bell.

[Drew Phillips]

I feel like one of the ones in my home.

[Josiah]

Also, the Taco Meat? Yeah. The taco meat. Yeah. No, no, no. I feel like the taco meat is just roaches at Taco Bell. They.

[Drew Phillips]

It was mystery me up until a few years ago when they had to disclose it. Well, I started tasting different.

[Elena]

I was going to say, I can't say anything because I was the girl who was like, I ate tuna from Subway until tuna box.

[Josiah]

The tuna box.

[Drew Phillips]

The bread is made out of yoga mats. I think I brought that up last time I was on here. I'm just full of fun facts.

[Elena]

It's not made of yoga mats. You're like, it is.

[Drew Phillips]

Why you think it's so good, bro?

[Elena]

Why do you think Ellen has so much money? Because she saves all that money.

[Josiah]

Saves it on editors.

[Drew Phillips]

She doesn't spend jack on editors. Watch the show. Watch Ellen's game of games and tell me that. She spends on editors. She doesn't fuck.

[Elena]

You know what I was going to say? Like, one of the topics I wanted to bring up is that although I know there are some good performance art pieces, like, there has been performance art that I've seen video of and I've been like, damn, that actually is, like, so innovative and, like, so interesting. Most performance art looks like batshit crazy fucking doo doo in my butt. Like, I've never seen, like, a friend go to a performance art show and post an IG clip of it. I've been like, damn, I wish I was there. It just looks like people actually tweaking out and, like, flipping freaking out. But with all that said, I wish so badly we planned this properly and we rented out a space and we got you in there for a performance art piece.

[Drew Phillips]

I mean, we have still. We have an extra. Yeah, we can do that.

[Elena]

Yeah. I was freaking out trying to get Josie's costume ready, and I bought, like, three separate dogs now, so be expecting to see a lot more of the dog.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

And also, I think it's becoming, like, a really big thing online. I've been seeing a lot of people protesting let the dogs vote, which. Thank you. Which is very real. It is very real and it's close to my heart. And I think we.

[Kai]

What are they going to vote for a bone?

[Josiah]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Kai]

Sorry, I hadn't seen.

[Drew Phillips]

That's offensive, bro. To me.

[Elena]

Yeah. Like, he's right here.

[Kai]

I said anything. I wanted to jump in with a good bit just to re.

[Elena]

Because, like, if you were listening, he also said, like, let the dogs wear wigs. Let the dogs get piercings.

[Josiah]

Let the dogs vote on those matters. Necklaces.

[Drew Phillips]

Let the dogs get A divorce.

[Josiah]

And, bro, let the dogs, like, get divorces. Like, exactly. Also not even divorces, but get married.

[Drew Phillips]

Get married.

[Josiah]

Yeah. I don't think they can legally get married, period.

[Drew Phillips]

Thank you. Thank you. Y' all are actually, like, I'm getting my life right now with y' all. Like, y' all are really making me feel better about what my life's gonna be like.

[Josiah]

Your legacy.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

Should dogs be able to adopt children? I don't think so. Yes. I think that's pushing because they need two human parents.

[Elena]

Yeah. No, because that's not taking into account the parents of the dog.

[Drew Phillips]

You're saying two dogs couldn't raise a baby?

[Josiah]

No.

[Elena]

Think so. No.

[Josiah]

Y' all lick y' all's ass.

[Drew Phillips]

Y' all are fucked up.

[Josiah]

You literally were sniffing me earlier.

[Elena]

Yeah. Since we put that on Josie, he's been sniffing around. He's been freaking out.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm good.

[Josiah]

Why did you look at me like I'm tipping over?

[Drew Phillips]

Drew, my favorite part of this whole costume genuinely, is the glasses with the. With the head wrap, like, combo.

[Josiah]

Thank you. Oh, but speaking of the dog protest, so we didn't talk about it yet, but the dude that does the Spider man cosplay and dances in front of the camera. So, like, obviously we were in that video. We were in his live stream, and it was gaggy and, like, it was such a funny moment. Da, da, da, da, da, da. Insert here.

[Elena]

Corn.

[Drew Phillips]

Yes, corn. Oh, wait, Alex, I remember.

[Josiah]

Corn.

[Kai]

Pepper.

[Drew Phillips]

Yucky.

[Josiah]

Egg pepper.

[Drew Phillips]

Eel pepper.

[Elena]

Yucky.

[Josiah]

Ice cream.

[Elena]

Yummy.

[Drew Phillips]

Hey, let the dogs vote. Chat. That's what I'm up. That's what I'm about.

[Josiah]

Notice how he moves the fucking camera at the end.

[Elena]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

Something is seriously sinister there. And I was really offended by it. And he moved it twice. But I read the room, and I was like, okay, he's uncomfortable by my presence. I'm going to just, like, get out of the frame and I'll dip. So that's what I did.

[Elena]

That's what I thought later. I wonder if so many people go see him on live and get behind him and start being dickheads, and that's why he moves it.

[Josiah]

But he, like, literally, we came in hot. We were like, let the dogs vote. Yeah, well, he didn't know who we were. And then he saw the video that was posted online and he commented on it, and he commented on Josiah's video. He thought we were PETA protesters. He literally was like, oh, my God, Peter is protesting my live stream right now. I have to move them out of the Frame.

[Elena]

I wish so badly I could see spy on him and know the conversation he had with his friend group, because you know damn well he was like, someone literally, like, PETA protested my life tonight, and I'm, like, so freaked out. Like, I don't understand why. And I bet, like, I just want to know so badly if his conclusion was that because he was Spider Man, Spider is technically an animal, too. That's all I can think about is, like, I wonder if, like, his friends were like, there's no way PETA protested you. That doesn't make sense.

[Josiah]

And if he was like, no, the spiders.

[Elena]

Yeah, don't squish the spiders.

[Drew Phillips]

I mean, but also what I want to know is, like, did he really think it was a PETA protest because we said, let the dogs vote.

[Josiah]

I mean, you can get there. Yeah, they've gone there.

[Elena]

I'm sure Peter pushes it. PETA's, like, a bit freaky deaky.

[Drew Phillips]

I know. Unless it has hummus. Eat a pita and hummus. Thank you.

[Josiah]

You ate that.

[Drew Phillips]

I'll take my rays now.

[Josiah]

You ate that.

[Drew Phillips]

I'll take my Christmas bonus now.

[Josiah]

Your.

[Elena]

Your Christmas bone.

[Drew Phillips]

I'll take my Christmas phone. Thank you for the Christmas phone, by the way. You guys know about Christmas hall? What, like, New York? Okay, forget about it.

[Josiah]

Well, I'm in my flat tummy tea era. I just decided. I decided I need flat tummy tea. I think that'll heal me. Can y' all believe that, like, IG baddies were just selling laxatives? And, like, we all were just like, yeah, flat tummy tea. Hey, like, I want some flat tummy tea. Meanwhile, like, girls were just, like, out of their butt all day long, which is illegal. Like, girls pooping is illegal.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, you making a point with this on is, like, killing me. Like, which is illegal. I'm like, he's a do not.

[Josiah]

And if they do, I don't need to hear about it.

[Elena]

I don't think that's something. Ruth Bader Ginsburg would be like, happy Ginsburg.

[Drew Phillips]

Wait, what? How'd you say Ruth Bader Ginsburg was very for girl? No, she was for girls and getting the award.

[Elena]

She liked girls.

[Josiah]

Wait, someone should have done Dreams Face Reveal. Has no one done that yet for Halloween? Yeah.

[Elena]

Oh, that would have been really good.

[Josiah]

There's a creative way to do it. There's something. Y' all need to tap into that aura real quick.

[Elena]

Like, I mean, when this comes out, there's still going to be time to get Halloween costumes. So we should just give away the extra Halloween costume ideas. We had.

[Josiah]

Your buy list real quick.

[Drew Phillips]

Did y' all talk about your buy?

[Josiah]

Oh, no, that was gonna be. We were gonna do the. Your buy. What would you do joke where, like, either me or India had, like, blue hair, green shirt, that whole vibe. Let me look up, because I have.

[Elena]

A whole folder, like, dedicated to it.

[Drew Phillips]

I can't give away what I was gonna be because I want to do it next year. But all I'll say, wait, we could bleep it because.

[Elena]

What was it? Oh.

[Josiah]

Oh, yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

Kim Kardashian did it a few years ago. I also wanted to do Selena, but.

[Elena]

I don't know, I still kind of want to do, like, there's this, like, group of cosplayers online that I found that been making their own kind of masquerade, like. Like, puppet masks. And I still want to do that, but I just don't know I have the time and dedication because I saw a tutorial on how to do it. I was like, I can do that. And then I look through the pages, and they have, like, Freddy Fazbear costumes that they made also, and I'm like, okay. That's how I know I'm out of my league. Because once you're carving foam and I'm out, like, I'm not doing all that. Also, all I could think about was the carcinogens seeping into my body because I am so sweaty. All of my pores are open. Anything from this that is bad for me is in my blood.

[Josiah]

Imagine how tired we are.

[Drew Phillips]

Imagine how tired we are. Yep.

[Josiah]

I just. I feel like I don't look pretty right now.

[Elena]

You're beautiful.

[Drew Phillips]

I love your beard.

[Elena]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Dude, you look really good. You look really hot, honestly.

[Josiah]

Thank you. I just. I don't know if I feel.

[Drew Phillips]

I think you look smart.

[Kai]

You look.

[Drew Phillips]

You got a face for me.

[Elena]

You look kind of abusive.

[Josiah]

Yeah. No, I hate people. Yeah. No, I hate people.

[Elena]

Like, not. Not in that way, but, like, you look like a guy in, like, 2010 who's, like, kind of a piece of shit and would, like, hit me. If we were in a club and I bumped into you.

[Kai]

You look like David Foster Wallace, kind of.

[Josiah]

Oh, yeah. Didn't he wear headbands?

[Kai]

Yeah, he had, like, a red band.

[Elena]

Wait, what were your other ideas?

[Josiah]

Or you don't want to find them and I. They're too good to give away because, yeah, we. Me and you're going to be mustard and ketchup or like, a light. I was going to be very Socket in a plug, plastic top And a bottom.

[Elena]

Just talk about what would you do? Basically, I need to be on that show. So if anybody has connects, just put me on. Like, just confront me at a random time. No topics are off limit. I will probably always do the right thing because I'm a really good person. So it'll only do good for me.

[Josiah]

It'll be my ass. I was thinking about that. I was like, yeah, no, I would, like, immediately step in on a lot of these, but, like, no, I wouldn't. Like, I am such a coward and afraid of confrontation that, like, I don't know. I would probably step up.

[Elena]

I think my move would probably be like, they're. Because there's.

[Josiah]

My glasses are fogging up.

[Elena]

Yeah, they are. There's three sides of, like, reactions to what would you do? And it's the people who see someone in trouble and they go up to the person in trouble and they're like, hey. And they comfort them. Then there's a person who confronts the perpetuator of evil, and then there's a person who just, like, sides with evil. Depending on what day it was, I'd either side with evil or comfort the person.

[Drew Phillips]

I'd be the first one. Yeah, we're like, no confrontation, but I just want to go and, like, give them.

[Elena]

Yeah, I would go and, like, be nice to the person who's being attacked.

[Drew Phillips]

But also my first thought would be like, I'm on. What would you do? So I really got to do. I got to do the right thing right now.

[Elena]

Yeah. In the newer episodes, you can fully tell everybody knows they are on. What would you do? Like, without fail, everybody knows. Everyone's getting into character and, like, they kind of just let it run.

[Drew Phillips]

Stop staring at me.

[Kai]

You look insane.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, I literally feel it from here. And, like, I'm trying to listen to you. And then Kai's, like, staring daggers at me.

[Elena]

It's fucked up because I think you look like. You look the best you've looked in probably, like, the six years.

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

Since I was, like, 17, right? Yeah, 17. I looked great. Minute 18 had, I was fucked.

[Josiah]

They only want you when you're 17, when you're 21 and you're no fun. Guys, I am just, like, overheating and fudgeing, dying.

[Elena]

Oh, my God. Last week you were talking about, like, nasty British food, and we cut it.

[Josiah]

Out because British teeth. No, I was talking about British teeth. I saw British teeth. I saw British teeth in real life last week. Really scary, y' all. Like, I know all of y' all aren't like that. But, like, really, like, bro, like, actually brush your teeth challenge. Like. I'm genuinely not joking.

[Elena]

Says the man who can't. Like, y' all. Y' all are gonna. Oh, no.

[Drew Phillips]

Dr. We should. You need help.

[Elena]

Help.

[Drew Phillips]

Help.

[Elena]

Help me. Okay. Sorry. Drew's okay.

[Josiah]

We're back.

[Elena]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

Took a nasty spill, but Drew's fine. But I'm chill.

[Elena]

No, you're not chill. You're too crazy. And I can't take you anywhere.

[Josiah]

You can't take me anywhere.

[Drew Phillips]

So crazy.

[Josiah]

Anywhere, my friend, is so crazy. I'm so crazy.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm crazy.

[Josiah]

I'm so crazy.

[Drew Phillips]

Meow.

[Elena]

Did you clacking those around?

[Josiah]

You're missing a pinky.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, because pinky's up, darling. I guess she's not British. I don't really know this character too well.

[Josiah]

You wanted to do it because you had a bunch of bits planned. I don't know.

[Drew Phillips]

What else does she do in the Michelle Pfeiffer one, she hisses, you're red girl.

[Elena]

I'm Minnie Mouse.

[Drew Phillips]

And it's so cute.

[Josiah]

It is so cute.

[Elena]

Like, because I know y' all know. I was talking a lot about Disney and about her house, and Disney contacted me. They kicked that out. I'm taking her spot. That's kind of up.

[Drew Phillips]

Does that mean you have to have sex with Mickey Mouse?

[Elena]

No, they don't. They're open.

[Drew Phillips]

I guess they don't have kids.

[Josiah]

Mickey and Minnie are Polly.

[Elena]

Yeah. Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. What do you think that was about?

[Drew Phillips]

Because, I mean.

[Josiah]

Wait, Goofy's gay?

[Elena]

I didn't say Goofy was gay. Goofy's bi, but Mickey's gay.

[Kai]

Goofy. Goofy's gay, but no, he watches them have sex.

[Elena]

Oh, he's.

[Josiah]

He's a cuck. Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

Goofy's kid. He's gay.

[Josiah]

Collect that.

[Elena]

Max is a child.

[Drew Phillips]

I clock that to you. He's an adult now, baby. That was, like, 20 years ago.

[Elena]

He's, like, 48. Max is 8,000 years old now.

[Josiah]

Okay, something I've been dying to talk about this entire episode. Okay. You know those chiropractor videos where they, like, break the woman's spine and she, like, screams and, like.

[Elena]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

Why are 98% of those softcore porn, like. I'm not kidding. Like, it is so hypersexual to the point where it's, like, almost like mukbangs being, like, feeder content. It's like chiropractor videos on TikTok are just softcore porn because it's like two dudes grinding up on each other. Like, a dude and a girl, like, Breaking each other's back, the moaning.

[Elena]

And then I saw one recently where this guy, like, breaks this girl's spine and then, like, holds her from behind like this. And I was like, this makes me so uncomfortable. But it's so funny because what they've started doing instead of moaning is they add, like, Tom and Jerry ass screams over it. So it's not the actual screens. Have you seen that?

[Josiah]

No, dude.

[Elena]

I liked, like, three of them recently because I was just laying in bed and I thought they were so fucking funny. Wait, let me find.

[Drew Phillips]

Also, one of those chiropractors reached out to me, like, two years ago.

[Josiah]

Oh, you should have done it.

[Drew Phillips]

And I didn't. He was like, I'm coming down to LA and, like, looking for, like, influencers to collab with. Like, I could adjust you for free, but I would want to post the video. I was too.

[Josiah]

It's like a masseuse. It's like a masseuse vibe where, like, masseuses are, like, they come into your hotel room and like, rub you up and then accidentally touch your boner.

[Drew Phillips]

Who said that? Did that happen?

[Josiah]

That never happened to me. Like, when you're at a massage parlor and they touch your boner and they just, like, jerk you up, bro.

[Drew Phillips]

The thing is, they're always playing in my ass. Like, every time.

[Elena]

The. The only weird thing I ever have happen during a massage is sometimes they, like, pull my nasty ass underwear down. Because somehow every time I've gotten a massage, I'm wearing, like, my most beat up, like, destroy dry rotted underwear. Like, oh, she's not crazy anymore. I'm so crazy. Putting your bag of chips back on your head.

[Josiah]

Bag of chips.

[Elena]

Oh, it's, like, way too dark.

[Drew Phillips]

We can brighten it in post.

[Kai]

We can. A little bit.

[Elena]

Kai will finger it out.

[Kai]

I'll finger it.

[Elena]

Okay, Don't. You aren't supposed to repeat that.

[Kai]

Okay.

[Josiah]

Kai will finger the video. Kai is always fingering an idiot.

[Drew Phillips]

That's the best one ever.

[Elena]

No. Okay. This is like the Tom and Jerry scream. That is not that woman's voice. That is literally like Jerry getting his tail snatched by Tom. Or is it reverse? Who's Tom and who's Jerry?

[Josiah]

Tom is Tom snatched his tail and.

[Drew Phillips]

Jerry is the mouse. Hello.

[Elena]

Oh, Jerry's the mouse.

[Drew Phillips]

You're the mouse, baby. I'm the cat.

[Elena]

Where's.

[Drew Phillips]

Play a little game of cat and mouse.

[Kai]

Oh, also, I found out that. Oh, I found out that Jerry's a side.

[Josiah]

Side. Do y' all know what side is?

[Elena]

No.

[Josiah]

There's Top, bottom, verse, and then side.

[Elena]

Oh, you have to.

[Josiah]

I'm like, I'm giving like.

[Elena]

You're giving like celibate. No one wants to touch you. You're disgusting.

[Josiah]

I'm giving top secret information away for free. But aside is someone that doesn't want any penetration at all.

[Drew Phillips]

Honestly, respect penetration in their mouth though.

[Josiah]

No.

[Elena]

Damn.

[Josiah]

No, no. Bottom. No.

[Elena]

First they're just hanging out.

[Drew Phillips]

So they don't give a head either.

[Josiah]

They give her. They give head.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, and you're saying Jerry's aside, the mouse, the little tiny thing that's like this big.

[Kai]

This is just what I heard. I don't.

[Elena]

Who did you hear that from? I guess LA is a crazy place, guys.

[Drew Phillips]

Just so you know that part up.

[Elena]

You need to stop doing that.

[Drew Phillips]

I need to get nails, like for real.

[Josiah]

Because like this metal nails is kind.

[Elena]

Of a vibe, dude. Have you seen the people on Tick Tock who are like, what is it called? Like, jewelry makers. There's like a name for it. I can't remember the name for it. But there are people who. No, it's not. There's jewelers and then there's like people who are literally like cobbling the metal jewelry maker.

[Josiah]

Oh, no, they're called blacksmith.

[Drew Phillips]

Blacksmith.

[Elena]

Blacksmith.

[Josiah]

No, blacksmiths make swords and.

[Elena]

Well, he might as well be a blacksmith because there's this on Tick Tock who makes like nails. Like, they are doing sterling silver and gold nails and they'll like take a mold of your hand.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, I actually have seen that.

[Elena]

Yeah, that's kind. But also like, what are you supposed to do? How the Am I supposed to bite my nails?

[Josiah]

I haven't had my, you know, like grills. I want one for my ear. Have you been seeing those? They take a mold of the inside of your ear and make a grill for your ear.

[Elena]

It's like an earring.

[Josiah]

It's kind of like Schiaparelli coated.

[Elena]

That would be kind, but also like, that's the kind of. That Here I go gluing on my gold nails. Like I'm gonna be at a party and come back home and have like a pinky, a pointy fin.

[Josiah]

And like main events though, cuz it's gold. And Ellen DeGeneres saved a lot of money on the show because she didn't hire editors.

[Elena]

That she didn't hire nail tech.

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, also, did y' all ever see Will I am's metal hair?

[Elena]

Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

Remember at the super bowl, he had like metal hair and it's like a metal is his hair, but made out of Metal dude.

[Elena]

The, like, people were doing when, like, futurism was in popularity and main culture was so funny. We need to get back to that. But I feel we are, like, too far for people to do it for fun.

[Drew Phillips]

Black Eyed Peace tour. Back then, it seemed like like 2000, the year 2010 and 11. Everybody was doing whatever the they wanted.

[Josiah]

Like, Katy Perry was on a cotton candy cloud and then riding a giant metal tiger.

[Drew Phillips]

And Lady Gaga was dressing up like Joe Calderon.

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

And Beyonce.

[Josiah]

Someone should have gone. Yeah, girl. For main Halloween, you be Jo the Run and I'll be Gaga.

[Elena]

No, for main Halloween, I gotta be this because I already spent my money on this. This is getting worn. If you see me out in this, like three times, don't say to me, act like you've never seen content of me in your life in this.

[Drew Phillips]

Cuz she sewed it herself.

[Elena]

Yeah, I made this all myself. It took me like three minutes. Probably like three minutes.

[Drew Phillips]

30 minutes.

[Elena]

Okay, 30 minutes. For a lot of people, this would probably take like three weeks, but it's gonna be like 30 minutes.

[Josiah]

Did you know you have 30?

[Drew Phillips]

You know you have 30 minutes.

[Josiah]

Do you know you have 30 minutes?

[Elena]

I love this bag of chips on your head. You're cr.

[Josiah]

Crazy.

[Elena]

Like, you're serious.

[Josiah]

You can't even see us. I'm genuinely concerned that you can't see us this whole episode.

[Drew Phillips]

Remember when that happened? When we did the outdoor episode in Joshua?

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

Like by nighttime and we turned on the night vision.

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

That's a vibe, though. Also, I was gonna say you look, like, pretty.

[Elena]

You look good.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, I don't know why I Like, I think you look like a girl right now and you look pretty.

[Josiah]

Stop.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, if I saw you at the bar.

[Josiah]

Drew, stop.

[Drew Phillips]

I was like, 10 drinks in doubles. So, like, 20 drinks.

[Elena]

So you would need to be completely.

[Josiah]

You would need to be dead to hook up with me.

[Kai]

That's really homophobic. I'm calling it.

[Josiah]

Thank you, Kai.

[Drew Phillips]

No, it's not homophobic. Let me tell you, he's gorgeous. I mean, look at him. Long brown hair, 20 drinks on his.

[Kai]

Head to hook up with him.

[Drew Phillips]

I would do it sober even. And we would laugh about it.

[Josiah]

We would laugh about it. We for sure would laugh.

[Kai]

You honestly do look good.

[Elena]

That's what I'm saying.

[Drew Phillips]

Pretty good with long hair.

[Elena]

You should grow your hair out. I was trying to convince Drew so much. Oh, my God. Okay, so since the last episode, we went to the brat tour, we went to Sweat, and it was so fun. It was like, such a Good concert.

[Josiah]

It was transcendental.

[Elena]

Yeah. I genuinely think Charlie is one of the best performers I've ever seen and trust and believe. I've been to a lot of concerts. My life's been pretty awesome.

[Drew Phillips]

You said Beyonce.

[Elena]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

She's not better than.

[Drew Phillips]

Charlie's better than Beyonce.

[Elena]

I didn't say that.

[Josiah]

No one's better than me.

[Elena]

No one's saying.

[Josiah]

But Charlie's stage presence is the closest you can get.

[Elena]

No, her presence, like, she has, like, sex appeal like crazy. She's such a good performer. She is like, I. I couldn't keep my eyes off of her. And also the way she interacts with.

[Josiah]

The crowd, too, is so fucking funny. She'll just, like. I don't know if it was LA Specific, but, like, her just, like, cussing us all out for being fucking bunk was, like, really sick.

[Elena]

Like, I know it was. Was so.

[Josiah]

It was very authentic feeling. It wasn't like, a bit.

[Elena]

Also, Troy can dance his ass off. And I found myself, like, mimicking the way he was moving on stage, the way he, like, has such a specific, like, body movement. And I felt myself like, you know what I kept doing? You know that video of Rihanna? I know. Body is crazy. That video of Rihanna when she's high as watching Lady Gaga. Show me your cheek and she smiles. I unironically did that at one point. Like, oh, fuck no. Who was on. Oh, okay. Actually, I'm. Can you keep your fucking bag of chips on your head? Because you're actually being crazy.

[Drew Phillips]

Too crazy.

[Elena]

Like, now you're pushing it with being too crazy.

[Josiah]

Can y' all shut the up? All three of y' all. Y' all want to see crazy? I'll show you crazy.

[Elena]

I mean, the chips are already on the head.

[Drew Phillips]

And now the peace signs are coming out.

[Josiah]

You got a floater.

[Drew Phillips]

Our little comedian in.

[Elena]

You know what's crazy is I don't think Orion knows you were doing that for Halloween. And she sent me that yesterday. She was like, this is how I've been feeling lately.

[Josiah]

That's so funny.

[Elena]

But I was mistaking my Rihanna moment was when we saw Conan because I was with you. You came to Conan with us. Cuz we also saw Conan Gray. We. We have had a blessing of a time at the platform.

[Josiah]

We got Inglewood over. Yeah, we were running Inglewood this week. Don't play with. I also went to the football game out in Inglewood.

[Elena]

I went to Sofa so far.

[Josiah]

And that was really fun. Shout out, Orion. I miss and love you.

[Elena]

I. It was so fun. We got to See Charlie. We got to see Troy. We got to see Conan, who was like, so awesome. Also watching, like, there were a few parent daughter couples around us at Conan's thing or, like, duos. And it was really, really sweet to see, like, moms. I wish I had a moment. But more importantly, Conan at one part goes like this. Like, I don't know if you saw him on stage. He went like this. And I was so high. I literally looked at him and I went like, I did him back. And I got so embarrassed because I was like. I was like, oh, my God, what if someone saw me doing that? Because he was, like, telling us to clap and I was clapping. And then after everybody, like, finished clapping, he went like this. And I was like, thank you. And I was like, thank you, thank you. Like, I did it back.

[Josiah]

And I was like, everyone thought, like, Charlie was like, grew and her fans were the minions. Like, I saw that joke a bunch because, like, it really was giving that at some point, Conan is grew and his fans are the minions. And I was clapping along. I was waving my hands. I had my flash out. Like, I was doing the whole thing. And I truly believe. And this is not my take, this is a known take, but if more people went to concerts, there would be a lot less bigoted religious people in this world because it is a very religious experience to be In a room of 15, 000 people, all there for the same reason, singing the same songs. And I mean, yeah.

[Elena]

Why people love church because when you think about it, they do that damn concert, they get someone up there and they sing. It's probably a kid who can't sing.

[Josiah]

For it just makes them feel included. It's like you're a part of something. And that's really what concerts make me feel like.

[Drew Phillips]

We hate church.

[Josiah]

We don't mind church.

[Elena]

We don't hate church. But would you see me in a church by choice? Absolutely. The not. Like, I genuinely don't think I could sit through. Is it a sermon? Is that what it's called?

[Drew Phillips]

It depends on the religion.

[Josiah]

Yeah, I want to go to the Mulholland Drive church really bad. I feel like that would be the Chris Jenner one. I don't know which one it is.

[Drew Phillips]

She was in a freaky church. Kris Jenner.

[Josiah]

There's. I just know there's like a church on Mulholland Drive with a beautiful view, and I just want to go to the it one time.

[Elena]

Well, yeah, but I'm really about to talk to God. And then I stepped outside and it was gorgeous. And you had a view like that, I'd be like, wow, God is here. Like, he was here this morning with us. But I've only been to Jehovah's Witness church, so I think that's why I'm like, I don't want to go, cuz that wasn't fun.

[Josiah]

That was not a vibe at all.

[Drew Phillips]

That would have not been chill.

[Josiah]

I literally, if I move, if I have any sudden movements, y' all, like, the chip back, that goes fine. So I have to, like, really be slow, really see and move. Suddenly, y' all, the Jewel class action lawsuit is going down, and people are getting their payouts. Finally, I saw one for $8,000. If I signed up for that lawsuit, I swear to God, I would have gotten paid 15 grand. I was smoking that when I was 15 years old to the age of, like, 20, and I even, like, tried one, like, at 23 or some like that. Like, really, I was, like, hitting the out of. And the fact that I'm still only 16 is, like, actually crazy.

[Elena]

Wait, that doesn't make sense. Did you, like, go back? You regressed?

[Drew Phillips]

Yes.

[Josiah]

No, I, I. Yeah, no, I've been, like, 16 for the last, like, six years. But, like, the real craziest part about it is I haven't aged a day. I really haven't. Wait, this is my RuPaul's Drag Race. Like, my. What is it called?

[Elena]

Sugar?

[Josiah]

Yeah, My Snatch Game.

[Drew Phillips]

If you get it, you get it. If you don't, you didn't get it. How. Like, what the does Catwoman do?

[Elena]

You know, she's low key, quiet as. So you're not giving Cat. Yeah, she's supposed to be stealthy and quiet. You should have just been Ariana Grande in that quiet.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm very demure. Oh, yeah.

[Josiah]

Josiah is being very demure right now.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm very demure. I'm very quiet.

[Elena]

Did your boots make so much noise?

[Josiah]

That's the biggest plot hole in Catwoman. Is that leather outfit and not making sounds.

[Elena]

Well, I think if it was real leather, it wouldn't make as much noise.

[Drew Phillips]

Actually, this is real leather.

[Elena]

No, that's from Amazon. And we got it for $0 because we're gonna force Josiah to take it.

[Drew Phillips]

Talk about it. Amazon will let you do $0 and don't pay for it. And if you return it within seven days is there's no money taken out of your account.

[Josiah]

It's a method. For real.

[Elena]

I was gonna say. I also think it's a ploy because, like, most people don't have time to return something.

[Drew Phillips]

They're lazy. Well, a lot of people don't want to work nowadays, right? You don't want to go down to the Coalsy.

[Elena]

You don't want to work nowadays? Actually, no. You. You've been working.

[Drew Phillips]

I've been working.

[Elena]

Like, I've been working. No, you had a good year where, like, the work was staggering.

[Drew Phillips]

And I wasn't even trying. I was like this. Like, I got these credit cards. Let's max them out. What's your credit score?

[Josiah]

I think I have, like, a 705.

[Drew Phillips]

Now, t, what's your credit score?

[Elena]

I think it's like, a 740.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, what's your credit score?

[Kai]

I think, honestly, mine's like 810, so.

[Elena]

Okay.

[Josiah]

Like, I buy it.

[Elena]

The thing is, I. It's like, mine is good because I'm nonchalant. Like, mine is good because I'm nonchalant, and I don't, like. I just, like, keep up with my life.

[Drew Phillips]

Well, it's good to know we'd all get approved for an apartment.

[Kai]

It. Yeah, I guess.

[Josiah]

What's yours, Jose? Josiah's is 2:20.

[Drew Phillips]

It's about 3:40. It's been rebuilding Josiah's in his building era. I'm in my building era because in 2022, I was like. Because, like, I got a girlfriend.

[Elena]

What were you even doing, though? Because you bought the same fake Prada shirt every day.

[Drew Phillips]

Food. All I spend money on is food. I love food. I'm obsessed with food. I eat all three meals.

[Josiah]

I mean, we can tell.

[Elena]

I mean, stand. Because it's going somewhere.

[Josiah]

It's going right to that bulge. It's going right. It's going right to the. It's going to the big puss, dude.

[Kai]

It's way too close to my face.

[Drew Phillips]

But really, like, I'm rebuilding my credit. Y' all just wait until I get back to. Because you know what?

[Josiah]

What?

[Drew Phillips]

One last thing about this. I'm so sorry, but by the time that I was 19, about to be 20, my credit score was at, like, 780. I was so close to 800. Like, this close. And then the pandemic hit, and I realized, oh, I have credit cards, and I can just max them out and I'll pay them eventually.

[Elena]

I literally think I only have a good credit score because I've been paying off cars my whole life. Like, that's literally it. That is the only reason I have.

[Josiah]

It is because of my credit is the devil. I hate credit. Don't get credit. It is evil. I hate credit. I wish I Prayed I did not get a credit score until I was 25.

[Drew Phillips]

That's true.

[Josiah]

I. I just got a credit. Or I just got a credit card.

[Elena]

Well, yeah, but that also made our life incredibly difficult because my credit used to be bad. So then when we got this ugly, nasty apartment, we had to beg for it, which is crazy because we had to beg for the apartment.

[Josiah]

We changed a lot of things around here.

[Elena]

I mean, yeah, we destroyed this place for sure.

[Drew Phillips]

We did change a lot of things around here.

[Josiah]

We made our landlord more trusting of people under the age of 30.

[Elena]

I mean, actually, we did, because when we moved in, there was nobody under the age of 35 in this building. Now it is ransacked and run by children under 30 and a 16 year old, aka Drew. And my neighbors, they scare me. I don't want to talk about it. That's it.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm missing my middle finger.

[Josiah]

Y' all, we have not addressed, like, the main thing that happened this week. That is legitimately the most insane thing I've ever seen happen in my entire life. Hate the man. Trump working at McDonald's and then E.

[Elena]

Coli surfacing, literally a day.

[Josiah]

It's because he licked. He scratched his ass and sprayed the E. Coli particles. And also, Trump smells like. That is not like a. Like a made up.

[Drew Phillips]

No, people.

[Josiah]

People know that. Like, this is a real thing. He smells it. He doesn't brush his teeth.

[Elena]

I mean, he doesn't rub me. As a man who's like, using clean towels. Like, I know it's exactly what his towel smells like. And it smells like just like a nasty man's.

[Drew Phillips]

Well, that's how he saves so much money. Yeah, true is because he uses the same towel.

[Josiah]

Also, he eats a fish fillet, like, every single day.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, so, y' all. That's also part of me. Is that true?

[Josiah]

He eats a fish fillet on his private jet. He always gets McDonald's for his private jet rides. He's nasty, rancid. Go vote. Please, please, for the love of God, go vote.

[Drew Phillips]

He wears a girdle. That should be enough to tell.

[Josiah]

Also, he had to sit on a pee pad on a talk show because he has a leaky gun.

[Elena]

That can't be true.

[Drew Phillips]

No, it is. Do the peace sign.

[Elena]

He is so nasty. I literally, like, I'm not kidding in my head. He is not real. And if. Oh, you know that new AI thing where you could put in a picture and squish like, the image? That's what I imagine is Donald Trump. Like, to me, he's not a Real person. He's somebody that, if somebody wanted, God could come and squish him up. And I wish that's what would happen. I wish that can't happen. So what you need to do is go to the booths of voting and go and vote for Ms. Kamala and Mr. Walls.

[Drew Phillips]

Please vote for me. Please vote for me.

[Josiah]

Oh, yeah, that actually hurt.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, I saw that, Drew. You felt that?

[Elena]

Yeah, he got a really bad headache. Like, not long after that was uploaded, they, like, reanimated.

[Kai]

That was real?

[Josiah]

Yes, this.

[Kai]

Oh, I thought that was fake.

[Elena]

If only the people who killed who were left handed and called them witches saw what we could do on our iPhones today, they would actually die.

[Josiah]

Like, oh, they would come.

[Elena]

It's crazy.

[Josiah]

You can't.

[Elena]

You can't call anybody a witch for that kind of anymore. You're just like, oh, what website did I do?

[Josiah]

They are literal witches on Etsy.

[Elena]

We need. We.

[Josiah]

Yeah, we need.

[Drew Phillips]

They sell potions.

[Elena]

They actually do.

[Drew Phillips]

They do. And candles.

[Josiah]

I want to buy them. Oh, I bought a bunch of witchcraft candles.

[Elena]

And he never lit them.

[Josiah]

I got scared. And I'm also in my era where I'm not supposed to be lighting them. I did a lot of research and I'm not going to light them anytime soon. And I may never. But I have them in the off chance that something horrible, horrible, horrible happens in my life and I really do need to sell my soul to the devil.

[Elena]

Don't do me and the devil walk.

[Josiah]

Side by side Me and the devil.

[Elena]

I think me, Drew, and Josie are going to start a trio and we're going to defeat the ones who. Who made the. Like, we're going to make a song.

[Drew Phillips]

Clickbait.

[Elena]

Even looking like clickbait. We're gonna make it look like clickbait Deep fake.

[Drew Phillips]

It's kind of looking like a clickbait. Deep fake.

[Elena]

It's kind of looking like clickbait. Tell me what you need.

[Drew Phillips]

You know, I feel bad for them, though. I truly. I really do.

[Elena]

I don't.

[Drew Phillips]

No, no. The song is horrible. They don't make good music.

[Elena]

There are people out there who like that thing. Like, that's okay.

[Drew Phillips]

I know, but I was just thinking about it and I was like, dude, dude, why the. Like, we live in such a crazy world where, like, this has become a topic that has lasted for weeks. When a shitty song used to come out, it would just be like, oh, that sucked. Like, but now it's like, just. No one has anything to fucking talk about. Like, just shut the fuck up. I hate it don't get me wrong, but, like, it's not funny to me anymore. It's not funny anymore. Three weeks.

[Josiah]

Like, I actually love this behavior.

[Drew Phillips]

We need to, like, the trend cycle needs to speed up again. For real. Because we're running out of. We spend so much time on this.

[Elena]

Or not a lot of time. We don't have, like, a lot of things.

[Josiah]

Also, like, talk about you grew up in an era of fashion. Like, that will never be replicated. I mean, like, 2014.

[Elena]

We were like, the last 2016.

[Josiah]

2017 is not gonna give. Like, when they, like, recycle that shit. Like, it is not gonna eat. No, I think 12 to 2014 will eat.

[Elena]

Specifically 2010 to 2012. That's not gonna happen. And you're never gonna make it happen. The, like, movie theater glasses with the lenses popped out. Like, the mustache, dude.

[Drew Phillips]

The mustache on the finger.

[Josiah]

She definitely had one.

[Elena]

Just won't come back. Also, before I lose this thought, the tell me what you need is the new, like, younger kids version of, like.

[Josiah]

Guys, guys, consent is important.

[Elena]

Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

What did you just say?

[Josiah]

Consent is important.

[Drew Phillips]

That's true. That actually is true.

[Elena]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I was like, why are you so.

[Drew Phillips]

I.

[Elena]

Need to start eating those damn chips.

[Drew Phillips]

Bag of chips.

[Elena]

I'm not gonna lie. I can't wait to eat pretzels. Even though pretzels low key. Give me ptsd. The.

[Josiah]

Because pretzels are disgusting. These.

[Elena]

I love pretzels.

[Josiah]

Hell no. They popped off my head.

[Drew Phillips]

They heard you.

[Josiah]

No, dude, pretzels. No, they're not. They don't give. Like, what they remind me of is church. Oh, church With a plastic cup that you would eat the pretzels out of, and then they would put some sort of juice inside the cup with the pretzel.

[Drew Phillips]

Wait, Yalls body of Christmas was pretzels?

[Josiah]

No, it was like. Like youth group.

[Elena]

Like, it was just, like, a snack they would give you.

[Drew Phillips]

Yes. Oh, I thought this was, like, the communion. And I was like, y' all were using pretzels and, like, fruit juice.

[Elena]

Oh, because I was gonna say pretzels low key. Remind me of being in YMCA when the only snacks they would give us was Fig Newtons and pretzels.

[Drew Phillips]

Fig Newtons are so good, though.

[Elena]

I don't with Fig Newtons. I haven't got over that hump.

[Kai]

Josiah, please.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm trying to fucking reinjigate.

[Kai]

We don't have HR Staring at me.

[Drew Phillips]

Stop staring at me.

[Elena]

I mean, you are lucky looking.

[Kai]

Why are you playing with his, like, Are you looking?

[Drew Phillips]

I saw you looking.

[Kai]

I don't even know what to call that.

[Drew Phillips]

Hit him.

[Elena]

Hit him.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, please.

[Kai]

Honestly.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, but talking to my God, it'd be a Halloween miracle.

[Kai]

And hit me harder this time. Because last time it didn't.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay, Hit me hard and soft is giving. Billie Eilish.

[Josiah]

Oh, you knocked the bag of chips off my head.

[Kai]

I didn't do anything. You hit me in the.

[Drew Phillips]

Get him again.

[Kai]

Again. That wasn't enough.

[Drew Phillips]

I don't even.

[Elena]

He wants it out.

[Josiah]

I know.

[Kai]

Yeah, that's cool.

[Elena]

Why'd you bend over like that?

[Kai]

Yeah, because you're too afraid to hit me again.

[Elena]

You're being a. Just being a slut.

[Kai]

Damn, your ass actually looks super good in those pants. No, not you, Josiah. Drew, look at his ass.

[Drew Phillips]

It looks great. The headband fell.

[Josiah]

Yeah. No. Oh, I'm just gonna commit. Like this.

[Drew Phillips]

This just like. Just balance it.

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

Are you taking selfies right now?

[Elena]

Oh, this is my.

[Josiah]

Yeah, in can do whatever the she wants.

[Kai]

It's her. Yeah, it's her podcast.

[Josiah]

I dare talk to my girl about that effort. Cony 2012.

[Elena]

Okay, you need to take those chips off your head, cuz if I hear them falling one more time, I'm going to.

[Drew Phillips]

Because it's all the Salt in there.

[Josiah]

2012.

[Kai]

Just put the bag down, dude.

[Elena]

Oh, my God. Wait, maybe the bag of chips wasn't crazy. Maybe the, like, real meaning of that meme is, like, when she puts the bag of chips on her head, it actually dilutes the crazy. And when she takes it off.

[Kai]

That's a good theory.

[Elena]

Drew.

[Kai]

Drew, come back.

[Drew Phillips]

Why did he run away?

[Kai]

Because you guys are being homophobic.

[Drew Phillips]

I wasn't being. I. I'm was.

[Kai]

You said a bunch of homophobic coded things.

[Drew Phillips]

No, I didn't.

[Kai]

And I'm an ally, so I do pick up on stuff like that. Drew, come back.

[Drew Phillips]

Drew.

[Elena]

I'm not begging. I don't give a. I'll keep going.

[Kai]

Please come back.

[Elena]

Ew, ew, ew, ew. Stop. You look gross. Like, you're scaring me.

[Drew Phillips]

Drew, bro, what the is this?

[Elena]

He's fall girl now?

[Josiah]

No, I took my wig off and this is what I dyed.

[Elena]

Wait, when did you get your hair done?

[Josiah]

Like, today.

[Drew Phillips]

Did you get your hair.

[Josiah]

I got it done today, y' all. It was under the wig. I wanted to do, like, a reveal.

[Drew Phillips]

Like a double wig reveal? Yeah, like a wig under a wig.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

Yeah. Guys, I took my hair off.

[Kai]

I just wanted to say I wasn't here for the last Halloween episode. It Is such an honor to be here for this one. The eve before your poop.

[Elena]

You're hitting your word, Max.

[Josiah]

I am.

[Elena]

Every word is 50 cents and it adds up quick, so think about it.

[Josiah]

Kai, I just wanted to ask you a question. Can you give me a 40 word dissertation on why I'm so hot?

[Elena]

Lot 400 word.

[Kai]

The thing about the. The way that Drew is so beautiful and his body goes crazy. I love his hourglass figure. I like the way that when he runs, I can hear his nut slap against his.

[Josiah]

When he wears his little balls like girls make a clap with their ass. I make it clapping my balls.

[Elena]

For real.

[Josiah]

My dick and ball.

[Drew Phillips]

Can you actually make it clap with.

[Josiah]

Yes, I can.

[Drew Phillips]

Can you clap those cheeks?

[Kai]

Actually, he can. Maybe you show me. Me or us?

[Elena]

I think when I turn 26, I'm gonna get a BBL, by the way, so y' all stay tuned for that. But I'll only have it for like a month and then I'll get rid of it.

[Josiah]

I was trying to come up with a joke.

[Drew Phillips]

Wait, you're gonna have it for a month and then get it sucked out?

[Elena]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

Kill myself.

[Elena]

Right? I unironically. Oh, what'd you say?

[Kai]

Drew said no. That was important.

[Elena]

He's fine. He's fine.

[Kai]

No, he's not. Look at him.

[Elena]

He has that stuff all the time. He looks like.

[Drew Phillips]

What did he say?

[Elena]

He said he's gonna kill himself.

[Josiah]

You know him.

[Drew Phillips]

He said, well, he has no commitment.

[Elena]

Yeah, he has commitment issues. Over here.

[Josiah]

No one hates me more than I hate myself.

[Drew Phillips]

True.

[Elena]

I think I'm gonna start using my phone like this. Like, you know how old people hold it from the bottom and they just like, use their finger to, like, navigate around.

[Josiah]

Yeah, I'm gonna just start fingering myself on the podcast. Yeah, just like jigs.

[Drew Phillips]

Yummy. So soda? Jeez, you owe me coke. You can't talk.

[Josiah]

You owe me bottom tonight.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm not doing that.

[Elena]

Why not?

[Drew Phillips]

No, I did not. Been chilling.

[Josiah]

Guys, should we tell ooky spooky scary stories?

[Elena]

Dude, I was trying to think. And like, I don't know if I have scary stories that I can.

[Josiah]

I have one that I've been withholding for the last 12 years for this moment.

[Elena]

What is that?

[Josiah]

I was a home alone.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh.

[Josiah]

Actually, I was in bed with my father and my mother.

[Elena]

Wait, really?

[Drew Phillips]

I am hating this wig.

[Elena]

I'm like, so confused.

[Josiah]

No, no, no. When I was about 14 years old, I was home alone.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay. Macaulay Culkin. Drew. I mean, you got it. You Got it.

[Elena]

You're actually starting to freak me out. Like, it's really scary me, because also, when you move around like that, I can't see your face, and I'm just looking at a blonde head of hair. Do you actually have a story?

[Drew Phillips]

I don't think he does.

[Kai]

I have a scary story.

[Josiah]

Tell it.

[Kai]

So I've been thinking a lot, and I feel like I'm not straight. I'm actually a bisexual person.

[Drew Phillips]

Cool. It's 2024.

[Elena]

That doesn't mean the worst one. Like, that's what you're gonna be because.

[Kai]

It'S, like, scary, bro.

[Josiah]

Just commit. Like, bro, you're either straight or gay.

[Drew Phillips]

Exactly.

[Josiah]

I love you for that.

[Kai]

Oh, thank you. Thank you. I am a bisexual, but I'm only hooking up with girls.

[Josiah]

Oh, that doesn't make Kaiser side with women.

[Kai]

Yeah. We discussed.

[Josiah]

He's the first straight side.

[Kai]

Yeah. Harvey Milk would be so proud.

[Elena]

Who the is that?

[Drew Phillips]

Who's Harvey Milk?

[Elena]

Are y' all kidding?

[Kai]

More homophobia, actually.

[Josiah]

Crazy. Crazy.

[Drew Phillips]

Who was Harvey Milk?

[Kai]

You don't know who Harvey Milk is? Drew. Drew. I know who.

[Elena]

Okay. This doesn't. This makes us kind of stupid.

[Drew Phillips]

What did he do?

[Josiah]

He was, like.

[Elena]

He was a politician who. Gay rights here.

[Josiah]

Like, he went crazy. San Francisco.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm glad that Harvey Milk existed because he paved the way, but I don't know who he is. I mean, that's just a fact.

[Elena]

Yeah. Thank you for everything you've done, Rip.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm guessing he's dead.

[Elena]

For Drew's kind. That makes me really happy, what you've done for Drew's kind mind. And I'm happy I get to witness it now.

[Kai]

Yeah, I guess now. Yeah.

[Elena]

Not me.

[Kai]

Nope.

[Elena]

Oh, my God. Back with the.

[Josiah]

Why are you crying?

[Kai]

Why are you crying?

[Elena]

Stop. Okay. Like, why are you crying? Does that all the time. He's dramatic.

[Kai]

He's in pain.

[Elena]

No, he's withdrawing. He needs vodka. He just needs a little bit of vodka.

[Kai]

And he goes, right, dude, I have a bunch. I brought a bunch. I brought my car vodka into the.

[Josiah]

Your little bottle of car vodka? Yeah.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

Keep in the car that you drink.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

Your little bottle. Your little baby bottle.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Elena]

Do y' all think if I went out this Halloween and went to a party and, like, hit, like, two people, I knew that if the next day I was like, oh, my God. I, like, was going through psychosis. I didn't know who anybody was because everyone was in costumes. Do you think I could, like, do that?

[Drew Phillips]

You would get away with it?

[Kai]

Yes, because you have Pretty privilege. And you can get away with anything. All of you do.

[Josiah]

Stop flirting with.

[Drew Phillips]

With.

[Kai]

I'm not flirting. I'm not flirting. That was a platonic compliment. Well, yeah.

[Elena]

Ours is more e. What scares me.

[Josiah]

I have a good wink. No.

[Kai]

Oh, Josiah. Does that piss you off watching that?

[Drew Phillips]

No, I just worry for Drew.

[Kai]

What are you worried about?

[Josiah]

I'm scared.

[Drew Phillips]

He's scared of you.

[Kai]

Turn. I can hear you when you whisper.

[Drew Phillips]

So scared.

[Josiah]

Okay, well, should I go into my little facts about TV remotes 25 years ago? All right, I'll get into them, y' all. So you know. You know why some people on the west coast are like, oh, that's a clicker. Like a remote. A remote to me is a remote. A clicker is a remote to them saying, remote.

[Kai]

I said, remote, remote.

[Elena]

I think Josh is the only person we've ever met who actually does that.

[Josiah]

Some people call it a clicker.

[Elena]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Really?

[Elena]

Like, give me the clicker.

[Drew Phillips]

And I was like, the switch. Oh, they use, oh, can you pass me the switch? And I'm like, my Nintendo switch. The are you talking about? And they also call the ATM the teller.

[Josiah]

Maybe they call it what The. The verse.

[Elena]

Wait. I genuinely think Josh's family has, like, time traveled, because that's a weird.

[Josiah]

They're really weird. They're weird for that.

[Drew Phillips]

The teller. That's what ATM stands.

[Josiah]

I did not get to tell my TV remote, and you interrupted me automatically.

[Elena]

We are the facts of life. You are serving like. We're just like.

[Josiah]

Maybe it's called. It is called a clicker, right? And I was always like, why do people call it a clicker? Well, 25 years ago, remotes literally change the channel. The volume turned on and off by making a high pitched frequency that was inaudible to human ears. That was a loud clicking sound. So it would turn the TV on and off, but they discontinued it because people would open a soda in the other room or, like, turn on the faucet, and it would change the channel and turn the TV off. And then at night, when the wind was blowing, and, like, a tree branch would scratch against the window, it would turn on the tv.

[Drew Phillips]

Wig list.

[Josiah]

The ghost took my wig because I was gonna get into the spooky story about poltergeist people. There's. TVs would turn on because the trees would scratch against the window. I just got my phone fixed. I swear to God.

[Kai]

God, it's. It's broken.

[Elena]

Drew needs a phone case.

[Drew Phillips]

Get a phone case.

[Josiah]

I have Apple Care, which Donald Trump is promising to take away. That's why you need to vote for tampons.

[Elena]

I don't know if that's why you need to do it. Like, there's a lot of better reasons to do it. But if you are for some reason an idiot and you haven't decided, I hope Apple Care can at least push.

[Drew Phillips]

You about the Pharaoh.

[Elena]

You made that up. Like, what's up is he's insane. And I believe that, like if I saw. No the Apple. Apple Care. I literally believed it. I heard your say in the room earlier and you repeating it. I was like, damn, he really is trying to take a like Apple Care away from us. The clicker he's trying to take Apple.

[Kai]

Car thing was so interesting.

[Drew Phillips]

Wasn't that fascinating?

[Kai]

I was like enraptured.

[Josiah]

No, listen. And people would think the TV would turn on automatically. So they thought their houses were haunted by poltergeists. And so that's why they discontinued them because people were like stopping buying TV. Stopping buying TVs then that's why they saved so much. That's why Samsung lost a lot of money. Samsung is the biggest company in Korea. Fun fact.

[Elena]

I knew that actually.

[Drew Phillips]

So the. The. What we didn't talk about was the Pharaoh and the Captain and Hulu.

[Josiah]

This is Josiah's scary story.

[Drew Phillips]

This is my scary story.

[Josiah]

Get into it.

[Drew Phillips]

I was, okay, paint you the picture. It's 2010. I was like 20 at the time. So we were on at the startup of Hulu. You know Hulu, the streaming service? Yeah, yeah, we were at the startup of Hulu. It was me. Well, I created it. All the codes for everything. Someone comes along. His name is Jason, but he calls himself the Pharaoh, you know. And everyone in the industry is like, oh, the Pharaoh. Like, he's so prestige, you know, he's so. He, you know, he's great. He ended up getting me onto the ship and it's not funny, bro.

[Elena]

We.

[Josiah]

I'm sorry. I'm not really fucking traumatic.

[Elena]

I'm laughing because, like, that's my way of connecting to people.

[Drew Phillips]

Well, okay. Well, it was a wooden ship. It was made out of wood and it was. You must know. And it was green and it floated. And the Pharaoh chased me around that ship for years until eventually he ousted me from the company.

[Josiah]

He caught you and put you in the hole of the ship and trapped you down there?

[Drew Phillips]

Well, yes, I was in the brig for quite a while, but also finally he ousted me from Hulu. I have no ties to it. No stop tock options. My options diluted down to Zero.

[Elena]

But remember what you always say, that.

[Drew Phillips]

Tick Tock ostracized me for my family. And also that Tim Walls is putting Dan Bonds in the boys bathroom. So there's a hope that maybe I'll get my access back to Hulu. I'm driving a Honda Civic, for God's sake.

[Josiah]

The rats are eating the wires, bro.

[Drew Phillips]

My life is a fucking cartoon, bro. Okay? They're eating the wires.

[Josiah]

Why don't you eat the rat since you're cat girl?

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, yeah, I wasn't cat girl at the time. But what I'm gonna say.

[Kai]

Too much work blurring that out.

[Drew Phillips]

Tailbone. Damn cats have it hard. But what I'm gonna really say is what I'm telling you right now is that the. This is true.

[Kai]

It looks like a brain.

[Drew Phillips]

Kai, you don't know this? The rats. I parked my car at Drew and Enya's for a week, which says a lot about this street.

[Elena]

Oh, okay.

[Josiah]

Don't talk about our street like that.

[Elena]

I hear people yelling at each other.

[Josiah]

Every night, throwing beer bottles into our house.

[Drew Phillips]

I would live here. I think what it was is I parked it by that abandoned house that burnt down, and I think there's rats in there. And they got up into my car. Oh, my God, bro, you're a man spreader.

[Kai]

No, I'm. I'm actually very compact right now.

[Elena]

Okay, Let him talk about his traumas, bro. You laughed about the.

[Kai]

I'm uncomfortable.

[Elena]

You laughed about sexually intimidating. Ousted by the Pharaoh and ostracized from my family.

[Josiah]

He was ousted by the Pharaoh. Like, all you care about is. All you care about is his giant. You care about his giant.

[Kai]

His botched tuck is freaking me out. Oh, okay.

[Elena]

Just keep going. I'm so sorry.

[Josiah]

Just because that was.

[Kai]

That was really good. I shouldn't have said that.

[Drew Phillips]

Just ignore it.

[Kai]

Is someone gonna hit me for what I said?

[Drew Phillips]

But really.

[Elena]

Oh, my God.

[Drew Phillips]

Just. The rats crawled up into my car and ate all the wires and caused $5,000 worth of damage. And I was like, did you hear that?

[Josiah]

The rat.

[Kai]

How much?

[Josiah]

$5,000.

[Elena]

The rats crawled up and, like, bit all the wiring, so his car just.

[Drew Phillips]

Wasn'T work, which I'm like, why? Like, why they cannot eat it? Why are you biting through it? Like, why are you press it with me? Because, cat, like, I really don't understand, because my life is like a cartoon, bro. Like, the last few months, my life. It's not even a joke at this point.

[Elena]

So your life has been like.

[Drew Phillips]

There's a lot of good things that I'M grateful for my family is alive. I have lovely people in my life. But, like, there's a lot that's, like, cartoonish. God is messing with me for real.

[Elena]

Well, the good news is, or I guess it's bad news for you, but we are not loving people in your life because we've actually been secretly poisoning you. And that's. That's why your stomach hurts.

[Josiah]

Yes.

[Drew Phillips]

You know, I thought my. My girlfriend, I really. Two months into this whole stomach debacle, I looked at her when we were, like, sitting outside, and I was like, are you poisoning. I was losing it. Yeah. I like Phantom Thread because she loves that movie. And I bought her the book from that movie. The Poisonous Mushroom book.

[Elena]

Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, that tells you which one.

[Elena]

She went into the woods.

[Drew Phillips]

Think about what was going on with me, like, a month and a half ago, two months ago, I was losing it.

[Josiah]

It was dark.

[Drew Phillips]

Stuff happened in my family and stuff. And I really, genuinely looked at her and I was like. Like, are you poisoning me? Like, I really.

[Elena]

I mean, well, I really can't even blame you because the first half of this year was so bad for me that I genuinely. I genuinely believed I had either a hex put on me. I thought I was genuinely. I didn't grow up Catholic, but I somehow had intense Catholic guilt. That's none of your business. But I genuinely was going down. I was going down a rabbit hole that I was, like, last year, I was committing sins that are like, I'm repenting. Like, I literally. I genuinely. For a day in my life, it. Thankfully, it only lasted a day, but my. Like, I had four awful things happen within the span of two weeks. And I just sat upstate with Orion because I was on a brand trip when one of these things happened. Happen. And I was sitting outside looking around, and I was like, okay. Like, God is, like, actually attacking me. Like, he's just attacking me before I die. And that means I'm gonna die soon. And now I'm on medication. The feeling hasn't gone away, but.

[Drew Phillips]

And here you are.

[Josiah]

For the most part. It has, though.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

You don't. You don't complain about it as much. You look really beautiful. Your eyelashes look really good.

[Elena]

Thank you. They're fake.

[Josiah]

Are they really? Really?

[Elena]

I put two fake ones at the end.

[Josiah]

They look good.

[Drew Phillips]

They look good as well.

[Elena]

So that I could have, like, a Minnie Mouse cuntiness.

[Josiah]

Can I hit now?

[Drew Phillips]

Now? Could have fooled me.

[Elena]

Yeah. You'd even have to give me a compliment. I'm actually, like, really easygoing and, like, nobody has to treat me right, and I'll just, like.

[Josiah]

I don't want that anymore. It's ran through.

[Elena]

Oh, okay.

[Drew Phillips]

It's ran through. Are you talking about the kitty?

[Josiah]

The purr.

[Drew Phillips]

Don't talk about the kitty.

[Elena]

Oh, my God. Thank you. You're not calling it tuna box.

[Drew Phillips]

It's not the tuna box anymore, baby. She had it cleaned out. She had it flushed out.

[Elena]

Yeah. You. You know the videos when somebody goes so far down a drain that the snake comes out the other end of, like, another ap.

[Josiah]

What happened to us?

[Drew Phillips]

They did a snake for Anya's whole.

[Elena]

Body, and it came out my mouth and, like, sludged around.

[Drew Phillips]

What happened with my colonoscopy? They were like. Like, both ends.

[Josiah]

I need the footage.

[Elena]

Was there a camera in there?

[Drew Phillips]

Yes. I have all the pictures. You guys want the pictures?

[Elena]

Do you actually have footage of it?

[Drew Phillips]

I don't have footage. I wish I have photos.

[Kai]

We can insert it.

[Drew Phillips]

My terminal ilium, the cobblestoning.

[Kai]

It'll go on Patreon, guys. It'll go on Patreon.

[Elena]

Cobblestone.

[Drew Phillips]

And it's too much to explain. It's not fun.

[Elena]

Y' all are, like, literally, the reason y' all feel sick is because you have iPhones. Like, it's that damn phone. I'm not even kidding. It's because y' all can. I've realized I am in a group of friends who are all extreme hypochondriacs, and it literally, every time I walk past the room, it's like. And I know. And I, like, I think I need to go to the hospital. Like, it's literally like every waking moment is like, somebody being like, I think I need to go to the hospital. No, you should. I'll take you. Do you want to go?

[Josiah]

And, like, it's literally that first time in my life I have not been taking my health serious.

[Elena]

I know. And it actually is working, and it.

[Drew Phillips]

Has been a very valid reason to go.

[Josiah]

And it has been begging me to go to the hospital, and I just. I think I'm gonna perforate my colon on purpose, and I'm gonna lose an arm because I go septic. No, no.

[Elena]

Okay. Because this. This is a dark.

[Josiah]

No, I shouldn't say I'm gonna go septic.

[Drew Phillips]

Don't. Yeah, we don't want to see you guys.

[Elena]

These are bad thoughts. Thoughts coming out in different ways and you not taking your health seriously.

[Josiah]

I'd rather lose a leg.

[Elena]

A projection of something you're feeling mentally because you haven't been feeling good mentally. So now you are not taking your health seriously.

[Josiah]

Exactly. No. I want to die.

[Elena]

I know. You need to go to the hospital.

[Kai]

When it finally comes out, you're gonna have to get a husband stitch.

[Elena]

But I will say I am genuinely so jealous of the relief you're gonna feel when it's gone. Like, y' all.

[Josiah]

I went to the gym. Gym. We don't have a scale in our house. I think they should be illegal in homes, but we have a scale at the gym. And I've been trying to gain weight. I've been trying to gain weight, and I stepped on the scale, and I was like, hey, I'm, like, putting on muscle like crazy. I hadn't for 14 days at the time, and I had 12 pounds of.

[Elena]

Wait when we went the other day.

[Josiah]

Yes.

[Kai]

There's no way.

[Elena]

No, no. Every time we're, like, at the gym randomly, like, when we're leaving, when Drew hits has, like, finally started to gain weight, he'll update me on, like, if he is gaining weight, and I hover.

[Josiah]

Around 138 to 144 on, like, a really good day. And, like, when I'm 144, I'm like, yeah. I'm like, I'm gaining weight. This is tea. I weighed 152.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, actually, yeah, that's 12 pounds of poop.

[Josiah]

12 pounds of Wingstop bait, babe. I did out. I did out a tinder worth of.

[Kai]

Turds out of my basket as a chicken tender. And I was like, oh, that's, like, a pretty good amount of poo to come out. And he said, no, that's the total. He described the measurement unit as a chicken tender.

[Josiah]

It's like. It's, like, the volume of it. Like, they're. They come out as little marble chicken.

[Drew Phillips]

Tender or like, a chick fil. A chicken tender.

[Josiah]

A wing. Stop.

[Elena]

Okay, okay, that's better.

[Josiah]

Yeah, but, like, no. Like, a dinky one. Not, like, a big, girthy one. Like.

[Elena]

Like, one they accident throw in, and you're like, oh, my God, they were being nice.

[Josiah]

Yeah. The tiniest tender, or it's like they give you a giant second tender and then a tiny third tender. But, like, it's. It's really over for me. But the pain has stopped over here. But it's still going on up here.

[Elena]

Yeah, I guess I'm taking.

[Josiah]

I have toxic megacolon. I've been claiming that I have toxic mega colon.

[Drew Phillips]

Mega colon is the best title for, like, a disease or, like, condition they've ever come up with.

[Josiah]

It's literally when your colon that should.

[Elena]

Be a big toxic. Toxic me. No toxic.

[Drew Phillips]

Could you pull this off?

[Elena]

Well, I can't say it.

[Josiah]

It's so iconic. Your colon gets so big that it, like, can't go back down, and then the just falls out of your body.

[Elena]

Well, a reason why I've been thinking my hex is back to being activated is because I've been getting really embarrassed. Tourist at the gym recently, and one of the things that happened is I was leaving the shower, and I. When I leave the shower, I literally just leave it butt naked. Nasty. Because I'm like, I'm just gonna go to my locker and put my clothes on. Well, when I was walking out my bag.

[Josiah]

Girls see each other naked.

[Elena]

Yeah, we play and stuff.

[Josiah]

Okay, I was gonna ask that.

[Elena]

And we don't have a sauna room. We have, like, a slip and slide, and we all push each other around.

[Josiah]

With your boobs out. Damn.

[Elena]

We only push by the boobs.

[Josiah]

Period.

[Elena]

When I was leaving the shower the other day, I have this, like, drunk elephant zip bag that I got in PR once that's kind of like a little briefcase with a zip. And I didn't zip it all the way. And I walked out into the hallway and everything. I have, like, 40 random pieces of in that bag. Everything dropped on the floor exploded and shot across and around the locker room. So I had to embarrassingly run and grab a towel in half, like, cover myself to try and pick everything up. And then a girl came and started to help me because she felt bad for me. And because I was carrying everything, my towel kept falling. So this girl basically just watched me scrounge around the floor naked and grabbing things. And I kept being like, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. So sorry. I'm so sorry. Like, you don't have to help. And we had a back and forth like that for three minutes straight.

[Josiah]

And I. I don't believe in apology.

[Drew Phillips]

So sad.

[Elena]

And then when we were walking to our car, I said, I saw her again. So she saw me also. It was right when I was telling Drew what happened. And I think she heard me, so that was embarrassing.

[Kai]

I think women apologize too much.

[Josiah]

Straight up, Kai, I'm with you. Oh, I'm with you on that too.

[Kai]

Yeah. Weirdly, me and Drew also agree.

[Drew Phillips]

I feel like cats should also be able to vote. No, not just dogs.

[Josiah]

Cats are very conservative.

[Elena]

My distinct.

[Josiah]

They are.

[Elena]

Dogs are different level. That's scaring me.

[Josiah]

Dogs are liberal. Cats are conservatives.

[Elena]

That is not true.

[Kai]

Azul's a Republican.

[Elena]

Azul is Democrat. Azul is a liberal goddess. Azul voted early by also I said early by ballot. She did vote in.

[Kai]

I would say Azul. Azul's a libertarian. Honestly.

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

Azul has blue eyes and white fur. That is an Aryan cat.

[Elena]

She has some orange tits lips.

[Kai]

Hello.

[Drew Phillips]

That is blonde hair.

[Josiah]

Oh yeah, you have a Republican cat ginger hair.

[Drew Phillips]

So you being fat of it.

[Elena]

Liberal. A is liberal, guys. I swear. You know what's the worst part is I'm being so defensive because I know Aul is conservative. Like I know that's a conservative cat.

[Drew Phillips]

But I had a question.

[Josiah]

Yeah, Mama.

[Drew Phillips]

No, no, no. How would you get away with murder?

[Josiah]

How would I get away with murder?

[Drew Phillips]

If you were gonna kill someone?

[Elena]

Kill someone and kill myself.

[Drew Phillips]

No, just that's literally the easiest way.

[Elena]

To get away with.

[Drew Phillips]

No, no, that doesn't count.

[Elena]

You get away with it.

[Drew Phillips]

How would you kill somebody? How would you do it? Just we can you say it really quick and how would you get away with it?

[Josiah]

Okay, well I know the method that I would dig a hole that is 12ft deep down vertically that only the body can fit into. But it's going down, but I can't smell it this. So the surface area is super small. And then put a dead animal carcass on the top of it. So when the dogs hit the scent they see, they dig it up and they see an animal carcass and they're like oh, this phony ass dog got.

[Drew Phillips]

Like what's the dog?

[Elena]

What the dog lose its job?

[Josiah]

Yes. Let the dog.

[Elena]

You're gonna get the dog fight fired. Like you already killed someone and now you're gonna get the dog.

[Drew Phillips]

I don't give a about give dogs unemployment.

[Josiah]

I don't give a about police dogs.

[Drew Phillips]

Exactly.

[Elena]

I guess where do we stand on like police dogs, guys? Seriously, because we're like pro dogs. But where do we stand with them?

[Josiah]

I don't give a about police dogs.

[Elena]

I feel bad for them. I genuinely feel like police dogs are abused. Well, most of the time they're German.

[Drew Phillips]

Shepherds, so that means they're also German. I mean I don't want to say it but like I'm saying it it and yeah, how would you kill somebody?

[Elena]

I wouldn't kill anybody because I'm an angel. I'm not about to say publicly cuz what if I do kill someone now they're just going to have also I.

[Josiah]

Would just bury the bodies in Central park next to the big rock.

[Elena]

No, I actually, I'm not kidding. I think I genuinely would be the last person to get away with murder. I Can't keep a secret or something that I've done in me to save my life. I. I have admitted to everything I have ever done or pre Told someone that I'm going to do something. I quite literally can't. Shut the up.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, written all over your face.

[Elena]

Yeah, I literally. And I feel like I'm a bad. Like, if the police came up to me and they were like, you came.

[Josiah]

Up with that, y' all. Did you hear that?

[Elena]

Huh?

[Josiah]

Wear your heart on your sleeve.

[Drew Phillips]

You didn't come up.

[Josiah]

Like, that's not in your. Wears her heart on her sleeve.

[Elena]

I actually never have sleeves, so that's really good.

[Josiah]

Thank you, guys.

[Elena]

Well, when it's hot, how am I gonna wear it on my sleeves? Leave.

[Josiah]

Where's it going, Josiah? How would you kill someone?

[Drew Phillips]

I would kill somebody by really just the vacuum. Big vacuum. Death by vacuum. Or I'd put them in the freezer or something. I really don't know. I kind of would. I was curious to hear yalls.

[Josiah]

I was like, I feel like mine kind of ate.

[Drew Phillips]

No, yeah, no, yours.

[Elena]

Yours ate in a way that I really don't. Like. Like, I feel like you know something or you've done something.

[Drew Phillips]

Well, no, you just have to think about it. Cause you gotta be prepared.

[Josiah]

Also, the blood stains in the car. Car. Can't forget about those blood stains in the car.

[Drew Phillips]

What are you talking.

[Elena]

Like you're saying that's always what gets someone caught, y' all. I. If you want to know where my mental health's been, I've been back to watching a lot of murder stuff. So. Yeah, it's like, tell you where I'm at. Because there was a run where I wasn't watching any of that.

[Josiah]

That is a great way to tell where our mental health is.

[Elena]

No, because I was gonna say when I was getting a little better, I was actually. Oh, my God. No, it does. It does say a lot lot. Because literally right when I started taking my medicine, I stopped watching. Watching murder stuff. But a little before that. Right, right.

[Drew Phillips]

Drew up. Ju Up.

[Josiah]

Josiah. Sing it.

[Drew Phillips]

But, like, how does it go?

[Josiah]

Just any way you want.

[Drew Phillips]

Ju.

[Josiah]

A little.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, how that girl does it.

[Josiah]

Yeah, exactly.

[Elena]

Tell me what you need.

[Drew Phillips]

Got to look like D. That's how he sounds.

[Kai]

Touching it. He keeps, like, patting it.

[Elena]

Order more food on your phone with your ass.

[Josiah]

I only have three, y' all.

[Elena]

Oh, okay.

[Josiah]

The worst part about COVID is those damn QR menus. Worse than all those people that died. My. I'm allowed to my grandpa and technically my grandma Both died of COVID.

[Elena]

And your bug.

[Josiah]

Yeah, no, my. You killed my bug.

[Elena]

No, I gave your bug Kovid.

[Josiah]

She sprayed it with Never.

[Elena]

I ate it.

[Kai]

Dude, I have this. Such a good picture of Drew with the bug. I don't know if you guys have seen it, but it's really good.

[Josiah]

We'll insert it right now. It. We'll insert it.

[Drew Phillips]

Uber drivers just be Drew with the bug for Halloween.

[Josiah]

Oh, t. My Uber driver just said he's his own boss. No one controls him. Make a left right now. So in a polyamorous relationship, who sits.

[Elena]

In the back seat that actually is up?

[Josiah]

I'm not sitting in the back seat.

[Drew Phillips]

Drew, you love sitting in the back seat. Your little knees up. Fact that you rotate.

[Kai]

You rotate in a polyamorous. I know that.

[Drew Phillips]

Also, did I tell you that my Uber. I told you guys that my Uber driver was trying to kill me the other night?

[Elena]

Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

Yes. I was ubering to LA cuz my car was getting chewed up by rats. But no, he was also maybe schizoaffective.

[Josiah]

Yeah, he was trying to kill.

[Drew Phillips]

He was telling me, talking about how. Cuz he was like, I live in la. And I was like, oh, is this like your life last drive of the night then? And he was like, no, I got like 12 more hours. And I was like, oh, night shift. And he was like, no, I've been working since like 9, 10am And I was like. And he. And I didn't even ask. And he was just like, yeah, I try to work like 24, 32 hour shifts.

[Elena]

And I was like, driving. That's like the last job you should be doing for long in a row. They make pilots do that. And that's why so many planes go down. It's always because of pilot error. And that's why a lot of pilots.

[Drew Phillips]

Because they don't strike money on there.

[Josiah]

And yeah, that's how airlines say money, because they don't hire editors for their videos.

[Drew Phillips]

This was telling me. I was like, do you have insomnia? He was like, yeah. He was like, I don't know. He was like, I'm just like, super paranoid. And then started going on this whole long tangent about how, like, he was like, pointing at the lights outside the window. He was like, have you noticed these lights have been off lately in la? And, like, kept looking back.

[Josiah]

That's me.

[Drew Phillips]

I was like, dude, I'm sorry, you are crazy. Like, let me out this car. And this was the last 10 minutes. He started talking like this. And I was like, so this is why You've been trying to kill me. And then it made sense why he kept checking the mirror, like, every five seconds. There was nobody there. There was no car there.

[Elena]

So he just thought he was being followed.

[Drew Phillips]

I don't know. He said it himself. He's paranoid. I mean, I gave him five stars.

[Josiah]

I tipped him, like, I can relate a little bit. I thought that headlights were speaking to me.

[Drew Phillips]

You did for a while.

[Josiah]

Yeah. I really. I thought that the left headlight being out was a sign of cars for.

[Elena]

Like, saying it in the car with me to be like, I feel like I'm gonna die. Like, probably by an accident or something. And I was like, I'm literally driving the car, so that means we would both die.

[Josiah]

So I think, like, really what it was like. I'll tell you exactly what it was. When I would see a headlight out that side of the car, hit my side of the car and killed me in a past life, that's what was scaring me. And I was just waiting for it to happen in this current life. Must have started something inside me again.

[Elena]

A crazy person.

[Drew Phillips]

I love you, Drew.

[Josiah]

Bye, y' all.

[Elena]

Dude, I literally can't wait till Drew's 50.

[Drew Phillips]

I know. It's going to be so good.

[Elena]

All right, well, thank you, guys for watching.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm going to have media or no.

[Elena]

Oh, I forgot about that.

[Kai]

I also have media, so don't forget about me.

[Elena]

Guys, good news is it's 11:40pm no, it's not. Yes, it is.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay. My media. I'll get it over quick. The substance. Seen it twice. Gonna see it again in theaters. Love it. I'm sure you guys have already been talking about it still. I mean, I just re listened to that Claire album when we were on the way back from Big Sur, and since then, I've been on the kick of it again. It's a really good album.

[Elena]

It is amazing.

[Drew Phillips]

And Greer's new album is coming out.

[Josiah]

Greer's coming out with a new album soon.

[Drew Phillips]

Within the month, you'll have something.

[Josiah]

That's all they get. That's all they.

[Drew Phillips]

That's all they get. Something.

[Elena]

I'm featured.

[Josiah]

Mine is. Ladies and gentlemen, we are floating in Space by Spiritualized. I can't believe I got to see them perform in person. That's crazy.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh.

[Elena]

Oh.

[Josiah]

Can't do that song because they're a bad person In God's childlike hands. Lauren Alderman. Pluto Bjork. Everyone knows nerd. And re. Watching Nurse Jackie again. Yes. Boom.

[Elena]

Oh, Mine is.

[Josiah]

Oh. Healing Todd Rundgren. Sorry I Stole that from you.

[Elena]

So good. Please read me by the Bee Gees. I've got to see you tonight. Timmy Thomas. You make me feel brand new stylistic plastic.

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Elena]

And I rewatch Edward Scissorhands and I think his hands were unnecessary. That's it.

[Drew Phillips]

The blood was giving. Like, why were his hands made?

[Josiah]

Also, the blood was not te in that movie.

[Elena]

The blood was ridiculous. It was ridiculous.

[Josiah]

It's a great movie, though.

[Kai]

Oh, guys. And my media is. I've been seeing these, like, really cool videos on Tik Tok. I think they're called edits, where I'm like, the subject of them and it like, flips around and it does, like, all these cool, like, motion graphics types type things. And I'm. Anyway, I think they're really cool. I would love to see more. I'd love to see more of those.

[Josiah]

More edits, please.

[Elena]

Yeah, I'm just giving them content. So instead of making edits of you, they can make edits of us.

[Kai]

Okay. Well, guys, I like it when you do, like, the slow motion thing where it's fast and then it's slow and I'm kind of like taking off my jacket or something. I actually don't even know if there's a video of that. But yeah, so just keep making those.

[Drew Phillips]

Sam.

[Ryan Seacrest]

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