Halloween spooktacular special

Summary

Emergency Intercom: Halloween Spooktacular Special Summary
Hosted by Enya Umanzor & Drew Phillips
Release Date: October 25, 2024

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Introduction
Note: The episode begins with sponsor advertisements which have been omitted from this summary to focus solely on the main content.

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1. Halloween Costume Preparations

Timestamp: 02:02 - 05:21

Enya, Drew, and Josiah dive into their Halloween preparations, showcasing their creative and humorous approach to costumes. The trio introduces Josiah's dog persona, complete with accessories and amusing antics.

Notable Quote:
Drew Phillips humorously remarks, “This is the most insane we've ever looked at” [03:44], highlighting the exaggerated nature of their Halloween outfits.

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2. Let the Dogs Vote

Timestamp: 05:21 - 23:00

The hosts hilariously debate the concept of granting dogs human rights, such as voting, wearing wigs, and getting piercings. They explore absurd scenarios where dogs participate in societal activities, blending satire with playful banter.

Notable Quotes:
Anya enthusiastically declares, “Let the dogs vote” [03:29], setting the tone for the comedic exploration of anthropomorphizing pets.
Josiah adds to the absurdity with, “Let the dogs get abortion” [03:35], further pushing the boundaries of their humor.

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3. Personal Health Discussions

Timestamp: 13:27 - 19:00

Josiah opens up about his recent medical challenges, including a colonoscopy and his diagnosis of erosive gastritis and esophagitis. The conversation shifts between serious health matters and lighthearted jokes about medication side effects and dietary changes.

Notable Quote:
Josiah candidly shares, “Essentially, it's just the wall of your stomach is being eroded because your stomach's producing way too much acid” [14:13], providing insight into his condition amidst the comedic environment.

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4. Performance Art and Costumes

Timestamp: 22:26 - 31:00

The team discusses their interest in performance art, contemplating hosting their own pieces with elaborate costumes. They reflect on past experiences and the challenges of balancing creativity with the demands of podcast production.

Notable Quote:
Drew muses, “I wish so badly we planned this properly and we rented out a space and we got you in there for a performance art piece” [21:26], expressing a desire to elevate their Halloween special beyond mere costume display.

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5. Conversations on Food and Eating Habits

Timestamp: 14:30 - 19:00

The podcast delves into their evolving eating habits, including Josiah's newfound appetite for bones and Anya's experimentation with prune juice and Miralax to manage her diet. Drew humorously shares his attempts to maintain a clean diet, juxtaposed with his craving for unconventional foods.

Notable Quote:
Anya jokes, “I've been drinking a bunch of prune juice. I've been drinking a bunch of Miralax daily” [15:30], highlighting their quirky approaches to dietary adjustments.

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6. Pop Culture References

Timestamp: 33:00 - 50:00

The hosts engage in lively discussions about various pop culture elements, including Disney characters, famous personalities like Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and contemporary trends in fashion and media. They blend sarcasm and playful mockery to comment on the absurdities of popular culture.

Notable Quotes:
Josiah humorously connects, “I love that feels weird because, like, she really was” [12:30], referencing Ruth Bader Ginsburg in their antics.
Anya quips about Harry Potter-style immersion, “I just want to buy grills for my ear” [38:08], showcasing their unique humor.

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7. Scary Stories and Personal Anecdotes

Timestamp: 65:00 - 87:00

In a twist to their comedic style, the hosts share exaggerated and fictional scary stories. Josiah narrates a tale involving a "Pharaoh" and a haunted ship, while Anya reveals a dramatic encounter with an Uber driver exhibiting paranoid behavior. These stories blend absurdity with mock-seriousness, enhancing the Halloween theme.

Notable Quote:
Josiah recounts, “The rats crawled up into my car and ate all the wires and caused $5,000 worth of damage” [73:07], adding a surreal twist to his narrative.

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8. Final Thoughts and Wrap-Up

Timestamp: 87:00 - 93:00

As the episode winds down, the hosts reflect on their personal experiences, upcoming plans, and continue their playful exchanges. They touch upon topics like credit scores, relationships, and lingering humorous disputes, maintaining the lively and irreverent tone characteristic of Emergency Intercom.

Notable Quote:
Drew humorously announces, “When I turn 26, I'm gonna get a BBL” [63:37], poking fun at societal beauty standards with his trademark wit.

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Conclusion
The Halloween Spooktacular Special of Emergency Intercom offers a blend of humor, absurdity, and genuine camaraderie. Enya, Drew, and Josiah navigate through a myriad of topics—from whimsical costume discussions and pet rights satire to personal health anecdotes and fictional scary stories—maintaining an engaging and entertaining dialogue throughout. This episode is a testament to their unique comedic chemistry, making it a must-listen for fans and newcomers alike.

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Notable Highlights with Timestamps:

• “Let the dogs vote” – Anya [03:29]
• “This is the most insane we've ever looked at” – Drew [03:44]
• “I've been drinking a bunch of prune juice” – Anya [15:30]
• “How would I get away with murder?” – Josiah [85:02]
• “When I turn 26, I'm gonna get a BBL” – Drew [63:37]

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Disclaimer: This summary captures the essence and key moments of the episode based on the provided transcript. The comedic and often irreverent nature of the podcast is preserved to reflect the hosts' unique style.

Transcript

[Drew Phillips]

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[Josiah]

He came by my school for career day and said he was a big roas man. Then he told everyone how much he.

[Drew Phillips]

Loved calculating his return on ad spend.

[Josiah]

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[Anya]

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[Josiah]

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[Drew Phillips]

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[Anya]

Birth control for 25% off your first month of [e-mail].

[Kai]

Oh.

[Josiah]

Hi, guys.

[Kai]

All right, now I understand why you were saying you were hot. I don't even think she. She can't sit.

[Drew Phillips]

I. I got it. Oh. My name is Anya and I'm Drew. Stuff. Now announcing Drew Phillips as RGB with wheel leg. I can't help you, can I?

[Kai]

Look.

[Drew Phillips]

I like. Yeah.

[Anya]

See me, I'm not even in frame. My whole outfit isn't even in fucking frame. My name is Drew Phillips and I'm.

[Josiah]

Ruth Bader Ginsburg, chair.

[Drew Phillips]

Woo.

[Anya]

All right, I'm in position.

[Drew Phillips]

All right. Now introducing the dog who wishes to vote.

[Anya]

Reveal yourself.

[Josiah]

This is so nice.

[Anya]

Let the dogs vote.

[Josiah]

I want to vote. I want to wear wigs and I want to get an abortion.

[Anya]

Pierce.

[Josiah]

Let dogs get abortion.

[Anya]

Let the dogs pierce their ears.

[Josiah]

This is actually me.

[Anya]

Let the dogs wear wigs.

[Josiah]

Did this.

[Drew Phillips]

This is the most insane we've ever looked at.

[Anya]

This is like, horrible.

[Drew Phillips]

This was, I mean, like, for context, I am 8,000 degrees right now because not only are there lights shining on us, but this is insulation foam. And I literally. The heat radiating from my body through my neck hole into my face.

[Anya]

Can you see my face? Look how fucking sweaty I am.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, you are sweating.

[Josiah]

And I bet you wish you were out on a cold winter's night with all that insulation. Be real warm.

[Drew Phillips]

I bet you wish we would take you on a walk so you can pee anywhere but the floor of our house and we're not gonna clean it up.

[Josiah]

I have been, like, peeing myself lately. I also been hella hungry for, like, bones.

[Anya]

Can you use the fucking pee pad? Like, what was the reason of getting that? You begged and begged and begged.

[Drew Phillips]

I know. He, like, literally, he got our phones without our permission and ordered on Amazon. Like, lifetime supply of pee pads, but he keeps just peeing on the rugs.

[Josiah]

I forgot to get into, like, pose. I just. It's more comfortable to sit like this for me.

[Drew Phillips]

Because you're a dog.

[Josiah]

What the dog doing?

[Anya]

What is the dog doing?

[Drew Phillips]

Every time we do a Halloween episode, I forget that, like, at the end of getting ready and doing all this, we have to actually do an episode of the podcast. And then my brain just feels, like, genuinely jarred and confused. But I think a good topic to start on would be.

[Anya]

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Welcome back to this episode of Emergency Intercom Halloween special three.

[Drew Phillips]

I think this might be four.

[Anya]

No, this is three.

[Josiah]

No, this is four. No, this is four.

[Drew Phillips]

Cause I did the devil. The devil made me do it.

[Josiah]

Cruella.

[Anya]

The devil made me do it.

[Josiah]

Cruella Harley, Exorcist. And now this is the fourth one. The dog.

[Drew Phillips]

What was my second one?

[Anya]

The devil Pearl.

[Drew Phillips]

Pearl. The devil Pearl. Dorothy. And I'm Drew's chair.

[Josiah]

Why do you keep laughing when you look at it?

[Kai]

I feel like I'm in an insane asylum or something.

[Josiah]

It's not an insane Asyl. Oh, p. Thank you, Ruth Gator Ginsburg, for everything that you did.

[Anya]

Actually, yeah, that. Shout her out. For real?

[Josiah]

For real.

[Drew Phillips]

That's why y'all need to vote.

[Josiah]

That dog on. The poster is probably also dead. It's probably an older photo.

[Drew Phillips]

No, I don't think that dog.

[Anya]

No, he's not dead. Okay?

[Josiah]

It. I mean, he's not. He's right in front of you.

[Anya]

Reanimated. We reanimate. We found the wig hairs, and we reanimated him.

[Josiah]

Dude. Like, the fact that it has come to this point with this bullshit. Like, have y'all told a story about this?

[Drew Phillips]

No, we have it. Or did we say that like this pulled out of the garbage?

[Anya]

Yeah, we just said we stole it from a fan accidentally.

[Drew Phillips]

So the fan who got it made a story time on how they got it and they pulled that out of.

[Josiah]

The trash on their way to the show.

[Drew Phillips]

On the way to see us. They saw and they thought we'd think it was funny. So that piece of garbage, literally, like, it went from garbage to Josiah, fully embodying that person, dude.

[Josiah]

Because I. When I saw it, like, I'm not joking, something changed. Like, it just made me so happy. Like, seeing them hold it up and I was like, grab that. Please grab that. We need to get that.

[Kai]

Josiah's profile looks so up.

[Anya]

So scary.

[Josiah]

Why is it beautiful, bro? What are you talking about?

[Drew Phillips]

Really nice.

[Josiah]

I know. I've been using tretinoin.

[Drew Phillips]

Very clear.

[Josiah]

I'm getting.

[Kai]

This is objectively horrifying to look at.

[Josiah]

It's not, bro.

[Kai]

When you walked in, I got chills.

[Drew Phillips]

I would sleep with this period. I would sleep with.

[Anya]

And is into pup play.

[Josiah]

Yeah. I guess now that we now we.

[Anya]

Know bestiality, really the more you know.

[Kai]

Oh, yeah, because you watch that movie Animals.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay, I don't think I've talked about that on the podcast, but I did say that at a college show, and I was so embarrassed because I was like, why did that just leave my mouth? Oh, no. I think I did say on the podcast one time I was trying to find this one French movie and the director's name is literally fucking Amal or some shit, and I looked up fucking animal movie. And I was really, really.

[Anya]

And now we're on a list. Aren't you on a plane?

[Drew Phillips]

No, I was trying to download it for the plane. So it was like 3am, which is really worse.

[Kai]

I was imagining you, like, typing in.

[Anya]

Fucking, hi, you need to reveal your out.

[Josiah]

Oh, yeah.

[Kai]

Guys, wait. I have an outfit. I have a costume.

[Anya]

Kai is the scariest. The scary tip jar.

[Kai]

Pretty cool, right? I'm, like, creative.

[Josiah]

My name is Kai and I'm the tip jar.

[Kai]

My name is Kai and I'm the.

[Drew Phillips]

No, say it with like.

[Anya]

You gotta put some.

[Kai]

My name is Kai and I'm the tip jar.

[Josiah]

Oh, did I even do that?

[Anya]

Was misogyny.

[Drew Phillips]

I did one for you.

[Kai]

How is that massage?

[Josiah]

My name is Josiah and I'm the dog.

[Drew Phillips]

Well, I think my next investment is going to be a realistic mermaid tail. Because I've never confessed this on the podcast, but when I was a kid, I would get my ass on the family computer and I would look up mermaid tails for purchase. Did you go through that phase? Did you want a mermaid tail?

[Anya]

Me?

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

No. Why would I want that?

[Drew Phillips]

Look at what?

[Anya]

Your dog swims.

[Josiah]

Dogs cannot swim.

[Drew Phillips]

Wait, can dogs not swim? Wait, can dogs actually.

[Anya]

No, dogs can swim, bro.

[Josiah]

Cannot swim. I can tell you from experience, bro, dogs can't swim.

[Anya]

Okay, that is anecdotal evidence. Like, you can't swim.

[Josiah]

I can't swim. I'm a dog, Therefore, dogs can't swim.

[Anya]

Josiah really does have that dog in him, though.

[Josiah]

I do. This collar is so itchy and, like, I think. I imagine.

[Drew Phillips]

Well, no, we got you the anti itch collar, so it shouldn't be doing that.

[Josiah]

Then how do I still have.

[Anya]

If you leave this room, it shocks you.

[Josiah]

Yeah, we should have got a shot collar.

[Drew Phillips]

We should get Josie a shot collar.

[Anya]

Wait, we should get one and try it out next time.

[Drew Phillips]

Aren't shot collars like. Like, aren't they vibrators? Like, they're just, like, vibrating?

[Josiah]

No, they shock them.

[Anya]

No, they shock.

[Drew Phillips]

They actually.

[Josiah]

They have vibrating ones, but, yeah, they shock.

[Drew Phillips]

And I always thought shock collars were, like, fake. Like a thing that, like they say in movies.

[Josiah]

No, it's.

[Anya]

No, they're real. I've tried one before, actually. No, I tried shock wire at my grandma's farm.

[Josiah]

Kai's vaping again.

[Kai]

No, it's the fog machine.

[Drew Phillips]

Kai opened his stinky fucking mouth.

[Kai]

Yeah, my big stinky pussy opened up.

[Anya]

You can't say the P word.

[Drew Phillips]

Basically, I really want a mermaid tail, but, like, at this point, I feel like I'm too old to get it. Does that make sense? Like, at this point, if y'all caught me dead with a mermaid tail, like, on my body, I would get ridiculed for it. But when I was a kid, I wanted one. No, I think so fucking bad. There were, like. They were, like, people who would do unboxings and they would get it for Christmas, and they would go into, like, their pool, the shallow end, and, like, flap their tail around.

[Anya]

The sound that fucking thing is making.

[Josiah]

Is like, dude, I know.

[Anya]

So distracting. Sorry. I think you'd be surprised. I. There are probably so many people watching that would love mermaid content from you swimming in a fucking pool.

[Drew Phillips]

That's kind of my vibe. When I'm, like, 37, I think I'll just move to a house in Florida with a pool and start making mermaid content. It's kind of my life. Also. I'm.

[Josiah]

Oh, fuck, that scares me. Like, something's starting to burn.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm so hot that it's kind of.

[Anya]

I know. It's like blowing cool air.

[Josiah]

Yeah, I'm not that hot.

[Anya]

Okay, well, we've been watching what would you do? A bunch recently, and, yes, like, a lot.

[Drew Phillips]

It is so good.

[Anya]

I don't think.

[Drew Phillips]

So good.

[Anya]

I don't think you'll understand. I know there's someone out there that does understand, but the LGBT episodes. Okay, it's actually coming out of my mouth. You gotta turn it off. Like, I'm actually. It's like I'm vaping.

[Kai]

Like, look where the fucking thing is.

[Drew Phillips]

I know.

[Anya]

Just turn it off from the back.

[Josiah]

The LGBTQ episode.

[Anya]

But the LGBTQ episodes of what would you do? Genuinely, like, made me feel so fucking good as a kid. I really was like, oh, like, God is good. Life is good. Everything is gonna be okay.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing at, like, the ones we were seeing where people would be homophobic. Like, there would be people who were being hella homophobic. And then John Keones would come out and be like, why did you do that? And they're like, I just don't think it's that big of a deal to be gay. Like, he would just. Everybody would switch up once John came out, and then they would replay it and be like, that's interesting, because that's not what you said. And then they replay it, and these people have already signed away their rights for their face to be, like, not blurred.

[Anya]

And also, card declined.

[Josiah]

I love. I love that what you just said.

[Anya]

I love you.

[Josiah]

I love you too. I'm glad we're finally getting it out there.

[Anya]

You say, I love Ruthie.

[Josiah]

I love that feels weird because, like, she really was. I was related to her, and she's passed away.

[Drew Phillips]

You were related to Ruth Bader Ginsburg?

[Josiah]

How do you think I got all this money? Hey, me driving my Honda Civic.

[Anya]

Josiah paid for this dog plastic surgery with Ruth Bader Ginsburg's money, dude.

[Josiah]

What actually happened?

[Anya]

Well, she did get a bionic leg, so she really did have, like, a lot of fucking money. It, like, literally, like, hurts to, like, be crouched like this.

[Drew Phillips]

Do you want to put on your other. Oh, yeah, you can sit in your chair.

[Anya]

Well, beauty is pain. Like, that's true.

[Josiah]

Remember Beyonce said pretty hurts.

[Anya]

Pretty hurts shine a lot.

[Josiah]

You don't know that song.

[Drew Phillips]

I. Oh, bitch. I know fucking Beyonce.

[Josiah]

You don't know.

[Anya]

I don't know if anyone knows.

[Josiah]

Whoa, chill. She's, like, the biggest artist in the world. Everyone knows her.

[Drew Phillips]

You don't know her like me, though, okay?

[Josiah]

Well, what I was going to say is, should I break the news? Finally hear the diagnoses of my stomach?

[Anya]

Oh, yeah, Joseph.

[Drew Phillips]

Well, you should give context just in case some people haven't been keeping up with.

[Josiah]

If you didn't know, bro, I got essentially spit roasted. I got endoscopy on one end and then a colonoscopy in my bum.

[Anya]

Eiffel Tower.

[Josiah]

Yeah, it really was like. And they did it at the same time and it was two men. So now I suppose I'm going to hell. And they also drugged me. I mean, well, okay. I mean, they put me under anesthesia. They put me under anesthesia, which was scary. But like. Yeah, basically I did all that. They took a bunch of biopsies and everything. I have erosive gastritis.

[Drew Phillips]

I don't know what that is. I still don't. You've explained it to me like 18 times.

[Josiah]

Okay. Basically, to put it in a really short thing, it's just the wall of your stomach, the lining of your stomach is being eroded because your stomach's producing way too much acid and it's harmful acid. And then it goes up to your esophagus and you have esophagitis as well, which is what I have. Which is why I've had a sore throat for nine months. I mean, like four months.

[Drew Phillips]

You had a sore throat for that long? Because you guys share a bed every night and I thought you guys were just like.

[Josiah]

Well, no, it's because we make out.

[Anya]

Has dethroned you as the throat goat.

[Josiah]

Hey, yeah, I got you.

[Drew Phillips]

Let him pleasure you.

[Josiah]

I also have a hiatal hernia.

[Drew Phillips]

Wait, do you? Actually, yeah.

[Josiah]

It's.

[Drew Phillips]

What does that even mean?

[Josiah]

It's like too much jargon to explain. It's not that big of a deal. Like, they put me on some fucking medication. We'll see what happens.

[Drew Phillips]

Well, the good news is I'm like perfectly healthy, personally. Like, bowel movements are good. Eating very well.

[Anya]

Recently I've out a single chicken tender in the last 20 days. 20 days. 19 days.

[Drew Phillips]

Also, I would like to. I would like to clear. Clear the air. Drew has only been eating salad.

[Anya]

Yes.

[Drew Phillips]

For the past like week.

[Anya]

Only salad.

[Drew Phillips]

And you might find that no shit has come out of his butt.

[Anya]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

Have you been having fruit a lot?

[Anya]

No.

[Josiah]

You should be. That makes you shit like crazy.

[Anya]

I've been drinking prune juice.

[Josiah]

That's good. That'll make you.

[Anya]

Yeah. I've been drinking a bunch of prune juice. I've been drinking a bunch of Miralax daily Lots of Miralax. It's giving Miralax.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay. I bought Drew something called, like, what is it? Diatomaceous.

[Anya]

Oh, yeah. And you got me. Diatomaceous earth, which is what's used to, like, kill bugs and fucking your, like, flower beds. And I'm gonna drink it.

[Josiah]

Diatom. Wait, what is it?

[Drew Phillips]

Diatomaceous earth.

[Josiah]

Diatomaceous D sounds like a slam poetry rapper.

[Anya]

Diatomaceous Deez Nuts.

[Drew Phillips]

Diatomaceous earth is Dee Dee Mega Doo Doo's daughter.

[Josiah]

Oh, Mega Doo Doo.

[Drew Phillips]

We wanted to be. One of us wanted to be the announcer who said, dd Mega Doo Doo. And, like, get, like. I was thinking you would have been perfect for that. Sure was going to be that. And then I was, like, thinking in my head, I was like, damn, that'd be perfect, too, to get, like, a little, like, wireframe to hold up a picture in front of him so it looks like he's in the newscast. But then we remembered that that joke also involved somebody who literally died.

[Anya]

Yeah, but also, Ruth Bader Ginsburg is dead.

[Drew Phillips]

I know, but, like, this is kind of paying homage.

[Anya]

And it's a tribute. Really.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, it's like a tribute. We love her. She did so much goodness for us. And without her.

[Josiah]

Without her, you wouldn't be able to have a bank account, babe.

[Drew Phillips]

Well, you can't have a bank account or fucking anything because you're a fucking dog.

[Anya]

But he's got that dog in it.

[Josiah]

But I got that dog in me. I be fucking like.

[Drew Phillips]

And that's why you're sitting around begging for the right to, like, begging.

[Josiah]

Begging.

[Anya]

Begging strips.

[Josiah]

Those have been sounding so good, too. I don't know why, but my appetite's completely changed. Hungry for bones. Hungry for, like, chow. Like, do you know chow?

[Drew Phillips]

We gotta get you, like, some tennis balls. Oh, now you can finally eat a shoe. Oh, my God, I wish you could sprinkle.

[Anya]

Wait, should we prank call someone right now? We should prank call someone right now.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, but I wish you could prank call with a FaceTime. Imagine answering the phone and it's a dog, and he's asking to eat the shoe.

[Anya]

That would be funny, but I also. We should prank call someone. I've been seeing this guy online recently, prank call places and ask if they have room for 16,000 people. And it's been fucking killing me.

[Josiah]

Like, $60.

[Drew Phillips]

Did he call, like, a Pizza Hut or something and ask, like, what he was?

[Anya]

A McDonald's, and he asked if they had a. I had room for an event for 150,000 people. And they were like, no, like 50.

[Drew Phillips]

Wait, what is the capacity of most fast food restaurants? Fast food restaurants, literally, if you go in there and you're sitting down to eat, Honestly, you are such a vibe. Like, I genuinely have so much respect for people who walk into the fast food place to eat. They're like, anytime I've done it, I genuinely feel very good.

[Josiah]

It's all.

[Anya]

It's. It's a very grounding thing to do.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

Like you, like, we get on vacay a lot. I feel like. Yeah. And I love it.

[Anya]

It's just a good pat. It's a way to pass the time without feeling useless.

[Drew Phillips]

I haven't been inside of a Taco Bell in far.

[Josiah]

Dude, I was about to say the only one we don't be going into is Taco Bell.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, I want to.

[Josiah]

We have to stay outside.

[Anya]

There's roaches in every Taco Bell.

[Josiah]

I feel like one of the ones in my home also.

[Anya]

The taco meat. Yeah, the taco meat. Yeah. No, no, no. I feel like the taco meat is just roaches.

[Josiah]

At Taco Bell day, it was mystery meat up until a few years ago when they had to disclose it. Well, I started tasting different.

[Drew Phillips]

I was gonna say, I can't say anything because I was the girl who was like, I ate tuna from Subway until tuna box.

[Anya]

The tuna box.

[Josiah]

The bread is made out of yoga mats. I think I brought that up last time I was on here. I'm just full of fun facts.

[Drew Phillips]

It's not made of yoga mats. You're like, it is.

[Josiah]

Why you think it's so good, bro?

[Drew Phillips]

Why do you think Ellen has so much money? Because she saved all that money.

[Anya]

Saves it on editor.

[Josiah]

She doesn't spend jack shit on editors. Watch the show. Watch Ellen's game of games and tell me that she spends shit on editors she doesn't fuck.

[Anya]

Hey, I wanted to take a quick break to thank one of today's sponsors. Shipstation, y'all. Every device we use is getting smarter and more connected. WI FI enabled, LED lights, literally wi. Can I use social media on my refrigerator? Like, why can I post on social media for my refrigerator? It's like actually insane. But with that said, the world keeps getting smarter around you. Your E commerce business should too. Whether you're looking for incredible efficiency or your business has outgrown your old shipping solutions, ShipStation helps you take the next step. With Shipstation, it's so easy to automate shipping tasks and manage orders in one simple dashboard. Shipstation has simple simplified the process, which makes it easy to see all your orders in one place. One of my favorite features is the automation that allows you to print shipping labels at the click of a single button. You literally just ask ShipStation to print for you and you have a smooth, clean label ready for your packages. Lead your e commerce business into a smarter future with the shipping software that delivers. Switch to ShipStation today. Go to ShipStation. To sign up for your free 60 day trial that ShipStation.com intercom hello, we.

[Drew Phillips]

Would like to thank one of today's sponsors, Zoc Doc. Okay, I'm going to be honest and brave. I haven't had a doctor's appointment in quite some time and the last time I did it it was through zocdoc. But it's getting to that point that I'm going to need to do it again because I'm finding myself researching random symptoms and trying to diagnose myself as if zocdoc, the free app and where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors, choose the right ones for your needs and click to instantly book an appointment doesn't exist because it does. So I need to stop researching my own symptoms and get to ZocDoc where I can find a professional. We're talking about in network appointments with more than 100,000 healthcare providers across every specialty from mental health to dental health, eye care to skincare, and much, much more. Plus Zocdoc appointments happen fast, typically within just 24 to 72 hours of booking. You can even score same day appointments. So stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to Zocdoc.com intercom to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today. That's Z O C doc.com/intercom SOCOM/intercom. You know what I was going to say? Like one of the topics I wanted to bring up is that although I know there are some good performance art pieces, like there has been performance art that I've seen video of and I've been like damn, that actually is like so innovative and like so interesting. Most performance art looks like batshit crazy fucking doo doo in my butt. Like I've never seen like a friend go to a performance art show and post an IG clip of it. I've been like damn, I wish I was there. It just looks like people actually tweaking out and like freaking out. But with all that said, I wish so badly we planned this properly and we rented out a space and we got you in there for a performance art piece.

[Anya]

I mean we still do that.

[Josiah]

We have an extra. Yeah, we can do that.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. I was freaking out trying to get Josie's costume ready, and I bought, like, three separate dog snouts, so be expecting to see a lot more of the dog.

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Anya]

And also, I think it's becoming, like, a really big thing online. I've been seeing a lot of people protesting let the dogs vote, which. Thank you. Which is very real. It is very real and it's close to my heart. And I think we.

[Kai]

What, are they going to vote for a bone?

[Anya]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Kai]

Sorry, I hadn't seen.

[Josiah]

That's offensive, bro. To me.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. Like, he's right here.

[Josiah]

I said anything.

[Kai]

I wanted to jump in with a good bit just to react, because, like.

[Drew Phillips]

If you were listening, he also said, like, let the dogs wear wigs, let the dogs get piercings, Let the dogs necklaces.

[Josiah]

Let the dogs get a divorce.

[Anya]

And, bro, let the dogs, like, get divorces. Like, exactly. Also not even divorces, but get married.

[Josiah]

Get married.

[Anya]

Yeah. I don't think they can legally get married, period.

[Josiah]

Thank you. Thank you. Y'all are actually, like, I'm getting my life right now with y'all. Like, y'all are really making me feel better about what my life's going to be like.

[Anya]

Your legacy.

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Anya]

Should dogs be able to adopt children? I don't think so. Yes, please. I think that's pushing because they need two human parents.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. No, because that's not taking into account the parents of the dog.

[Josiah]

You're saying two dogs couldn't raise a baby?

[Anya]

No, I think so.

[Drew Phillips]

No.

[Anya]

Y'all lick yalls ass.

[Josiah]

Y'all are up.

[Anya]

You literally were sniffing me earlier.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, because we put that on Josie. He's been sniffing around. He's been freaking out.

[Josiah]

I'm good.

[Kai]

Why did you look at me like that?

[Anya]

Like I'm tipping over.

[Josiah]

Drew, my favorite part of this whole costume genuinely, is the glasses with the head wrap, like, combo.

[Anya]

Thank you. Oh, but speaking of the dog protest, so we didn't talk about it yet, but the dude that does the Spider man cosplay and dances in front of the camera. So, like, obviously we were in that video. We were in his live stream and it was gaggy and, like, it was such a funny moment. Da, da da, da, da, da da. Insert here.

[Josiah]

Oh, wait, Alex. Corn.

[Drew Phillips]

Pepper.

[Josiah]

Ill. Pepper Yucky.

[Anya]

Is pepper.

[Josiah]

Ew. Pepper yucky.

[Drew Phillips]

Ice cream. Yummy. Hey, let the dogs vote.

[Josiah]

Chat. That's what I'm up. That's what I'm about.

[Anya]

Notice how he moves the fucking camera at the end.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah.

[Anya]

Something is seriously sinister there. And I was really offended by it. And he moved it twice. But I read the room, and I was like, okay, he's uncomfortable by my presence. I'm gonna just, like, get out of the frame and I'll dip. So that's what I did.

[Drew Phillips]

That's what I thought later. I wonder if so many people go see him on live and get behind him and start being dickheads, and that's why he moves it.

[Anya]

But he, like, literally, we came in hot. We were like, let the dogs vote. Yeah, well, he didn't know who we were. And then he saw the video that was posted online, and he commented on it. And he commented on Josiah's video. Bitch. He thought we were fucking PETA protesters. He literally was like, oh, my God. PETA is protesting my live stream right now. I have to move them out of the fucking frame.

[Drew Phillips]

I wish so badly I could spy on him and know the conversation he had with his friend group, because you know damn well he was like, someone literally, like, PETA protested my life tonight. And I'm, like, so freaked out. Like, I don't understand why. And I bet, like, I just want to know so badly if his conclusion was that because he was Spider Man, Spider is technically an animal, too. That's all I can think about is, like, I wonder if, like, his friends were like, there's no way PETA protested you. That doesn't make sense.

[Anya]

And if he was like, no, spiders.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, don't squish the spiders.

[Josiah]

I mean, but also what I want to know is, like, did he really think it was a Peter protest? Because we said, let the dogs vote.

[Anya]

I mean, they've gone there.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm sure PETA pushes it. PETA's, like, a bit freaky deaky.

[Josiah]

I know. Unless it has hummus. Eat a pita and hummus. Thank you.

[Anya]

You ate that.

[Josiah]

I'll take my raise now.

[Anya]

You ate that pita.

[Josiah]

I'll take my Christmas bonus now.

[Drew Phillips]

Your. Your Christmas bone.

[Josiah]

I'll take my Christmas bone. Thank you for the Christmas bone, by the way. You guys know about Christmas haul?

[Drew Phillips]

What?

[Josiah]

In New York? Okay, forget about it.

[Anya]

Well, I'm in my flat tummy T era. I just decided. I decided I need flat tummy tea. I think that'll heal me. Can y'all believe that, like, IG baddies were just selling laxative.

[Drew Phillips]

Laxatives.

[Anya]

And, like, we all were just like, yeah, flat tummy tea. Hey, like, I want some flat tummy tea. Meanwhile, like, girls were just, like, shitting out of their butt all day long, which is illegal. Like, girls pooping is illegal.

[Josiah]

Like, you making a point with this on is, like, killing me. Like, which is illegal. I'm like, he's a girl.

[Anya]

Do not. And if they do, I don't need to hear about it.

[Drew Phillips]

I don't think that's something. Ruth Bader Ginsburg would be, like, happy Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

[Josiah]

Wait, what?

[Anya]

How'd you say Ruth Bader Ginsburg?

[Josiah]

Ruth Bader Ginsburg was very for girls. No, she was four girls shitting Ew. And getting the award.

[Drew Phillips]

She likes girls.

[Anya]

Wait, someone should have done Dreams Face Reveal. Has no one done that yet for Halloween? Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, that would have been really good.

[Anya]

There's a creative way to do it. There's something. Y'all need to tap into that aura real quick.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, I mean, when this comes out, there's still gonna be time to get Halloween costumes. So we should just give away the extra Halloween costume ideas we had.

[Anya]

You're by list.

[Josiah]

Did y'all talk about your buy?

[Anya]

Oh, no, that was gonna be. We were gonna do the your buy. What would you do joke where, like, either me or Anya had, like, blue hair, green shirt, that whole vibe. Let me look up, because I have.

[Drew Phillips]

A whole folder, like, dedicated to it.

[Josiah]

I can't give away what I was going to be because I want to do it next year. But all I'll say is, wait, we.

[Drew Phillips]

Could bleep it, because. What was it? Oh. Oh, yeah.

[Josiah]

Kim Kardashian did it a few years ago. I also wanted to do Selena, but.

[Drew Phillips]

I don't know, I still kind of want to do, like, there's this, like, group of cosplayers online that I found that have been making their own, like, kind of masquerade, like, puppet masks. And I still want to do that, but I just don't know. I have the time and dedication because I saw a tutorial on how to do it. I was like, I can do that. And then I look through the pages, and they have, like, Freddy Fast Bear costumes that they made also. And I'm like, okay. That's how I know I'm out of my league. Because once you're carving foam and I'm out, like, I'm not doing all that. Also, all I could think about was the carcinogens seeping into my body because I am so sweaty. All of my pores are open. Anything from this that is bad for me is in my blood.

[Anya]

Imagine how tired we are.

[Josiah]

Imagine how tired we are. Yep.

[Anya]

I just. I feel like I don't look pretty right now.

[Drew Phillips]

You're beautiful.

[Josiah]

You look Gorgeous. I love your beard.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Dude, you look really good. You look really hot, honestly.

[Anya]

Thank you. I just. I don't know if I feel it.

[Josiah]

I think you look smart.

[Kai]

You look.

[Drew Phillips]

You got a face for abusive.

[Anya]

Yeah, no, I hate people. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, no, I hate people.

[Drew Phillips]

Like not. Not in that way, but like, you look like a guy in like 2010 who's like kind of a piece of shit and would like hit me. If we were in a club and I bumped into you, you look like.

[Kai]

David Foster Wallace kind of.

[Anya]

Oh, yeah. Didn't he wear headbands?

[Kai]

Yeah, he had like a red band.

[Drew Phillips]

Wait, what were your other ideas or. You don't have to.

[Anya]

I couldn't find them and I. They're too good to give away because. Yeah, we were meaning you're going to be mustard and ketchup or like a light.

[Josiah]

I was going to be very socket.

[Anya]

In a plug plastic. I love that top and a bottom.

[Drew Phillips]

We need to talk about what would you do? Basically, I need to be on that show. So if anybody has connects, just put me on. Like, just confront me at a random time. No topics are off limit. I will probably always do the right thing because I'm a really good person. So it'll only do good for me.

[Anya]

It'll do my ass. I was thinking about that. I was like, yeah, no, I would like immediately step in on a lot of these. But like, no, I wouldn't. Like, I am such a coward and afraid of confrontation that like, actually, I don't know, I would probably step up.

[Drew Phillips]

I think my move would probably be like, there. Because there's.

[Anya]

My glasses are fogging up.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, they are. There's three sides of, like, reactions to what would you do? And it's the people who see someone in trouble and they go up to the person in trouble and they're like, hey. And they comfort them. Then there's a person who confronts the perpetuator of evil.

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

And then there's a person who just like, sides with evil. Depending on what day it was, I'd either side with evil or comfort the person.

[Josiah]

I'd be the first one.

[Anya]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

We're like, no conversation, but I just want to go and like, give them.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. I would go and like, be nice to the person who's being attacked.

[Josiah]

But also my first thought would be like, I'm on. What would you do? So I really got to do. I got to do the right thing. Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

In the newer episodes, you can fully tell. Everybody knows they are on. What would you do. Like, without fail. Everybody knows everyone's getting into character and, like, they kind of just let it run.

[Josiah]

Stop fucking staring at me.

[Kai]

You look insane.

[Josiah]

Like, I literally feel it from here, and, like, I'm trying to listen to you, and then Kai's, like, staring daggers at me.

[Drew Phillips]

It's fucked up. Cause I think you look like. You look the best you've looked in probably, like, the six years we.

[Josiah]

Yeah, probably since I was, like, 17, right? Yeah, 17. I looked great. Minute, 18 hit, I was fucked.

[Anya]

They only want you when you're 17. When you're 21, you're no fun. Guys, I am just, like, overheating and fucking dying.

[Drew Phillips]

You look hot. Oh, my God. Last week you were talking about, like, nasty British food, and we cut it out because British teeth.

[Anya]

No, I was talking about British teeth. I saw British teeth. I saw British teeth in real life last week. Really scary, y'all. Like, I know all of y'all aren't like that, but, like, really, like, bro, like, actually brush your teeth. Challenge. Like, I'm genuinely not joking.

[Drew Phillips]

Says the man who can't. Like, y'all. Y'all are gonna. Oh.

[Josiah]

Oh, Dr. We should.

[Anya]

You need help. Oh.

[Drew Phillips]

Help.

[Josiah]

Help.

[Drew Phillips]

Help me. Okay. Sorry. Drew's okay.

[Anya]

We're back.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah.

[Anya]

Took a nasty spill, but Drew's fine. But I'm chill.

[Drew Phillips]

No, you're not chill. You're too crazy. And I can't take you anywhere.

[Anya]

You can't take me anywhere.

[Josiah]

So crazy.

[Anya]

Anywhere, my friend, is so crazy. I'm so crazy.

[Josiah]

I'm crazy.

[Anya]

I'm so crazy.

[Drew Phillips]

Meow. Did you clacking those around?

[Anya]

You're missing a pinky.

[Josiah]

Oh. Cause pinky's up, darling. I guess she's not British. Fuck. I don't really know this character too well.

[Anya]

You wanted to do it because you had a bunch of bits planned. I don't know.

[Josiah]

What else does she do in the Michelle Pfeiffer one?

[Anya]

She hisses.

[Josiah]

You'Re red, girl.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm fucking Minnie Mouse, bitch.

[Josiah]

And it's so cute.

[Anya]

It is so cute, because I know y'all know.

[Drew Phillips]

I was talking a lot about Disney and about her house, and Disney contacted me. They kicked that bitch out. I'm taking her spot. It's kind of up.

[Josiah]

Does that mean you have to have sex with Mickey Mouse?

[Drew Phillips]

No, they don't. They're open.

[Josiah]

I guess they don't have kids.

[Anya]

Mickey and Minnie or Paulie?

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. What do you think that was about, cuz?

[Josiah]

I mean.

[Anya]

Wait, Goofy's gay?

[Drew Phillips]

I didn't Say Goofy was gay. Goofy's bi, but Mickey's gay.

[Kai]

Goofy's gay and he's gay, but no, he watches them have sex.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, he's.

[Anya]

He's a cuck.

[Josiah]

Yeah, Goofy's kid. He's gay.

[Drew Phillips]

Max is a child.

[Josiah]

Yeah, I clocked that to you. He's an adult now. Baby, that was like 20 years ago.

[Drew Phillips]

He's like 48. Max is 8,000 years old now.

[Anya]

Okay, something I've been dying to talk about this entire episode. Okay, you know those chiropractor videos where they, like, break the woman's spine and she like, screams and like.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah.

[Anya]

Da da da da da da da da DA. Why are 98% of those softcore porn, Like, I'm not kidding. Like, it is so hypersexual to the point where it's like almost like mukbangs being like feeder content. It's like chiropractor videos on TikTok are just soft core porn because it's like two dudes grinding up on each other. Or like a dude and a girl, like, breaking each other's back.

[Drew Phillips]

The moaning. And then I saw one recently where this guy, like, breaks this girl's spine and then like, holds her from behind like this. And I was like, this makes me so uncomfortable. But it's so funny because what they've started doing instead of moaning is they add like, Tom and Jerry ass screams over it. So it's not the actual screens. Have you seen that? No, dude. I liked like three of them recently because I was just laying in bed and I thought they were so fucking funny. Wait, let me find.

[Josiah]

Also, one of those chiropractors reached out to me like two years ago.

[Anya]

Oh, you should have done it.

[Josiah]

And I didn't. He was like, I'm coming down to LA and like, looking for, like, influencers to collab with. Like, I could adjust you for free, but I would want to post the video. I was too pussy.

[Anya]

It's like a masseuse. It's like a masseuse vibe where, like, masseuses are like, they come into your hotel room and like, rub you up and then accidentally touch your boner.

[Josiah]

Who said that? When did that happen to you?

[Anya]

That never happened to me. Like when you're at a massage parlor and they touch your boner and they just like, jerk you up, bro.

[Drew Phillips]

The thing is, they're always playing in my ass.

[Josiah]

Like every time. Without a doubt.

[Drew Phillips]

The only weird thing I ever have happen during a massage is sometimes they, like, pull my fucking nasty ass underwear down. Because somehow every Time I've gotten a massage. I'm wearing like my most beat up, like, destroy dry rotted underwear. Like, oh, she's not crazy anymore. I'm so crazy. Putting your bag of chips back on your head.

[Anya]

Bag of chips.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, it's like way too dark.

[Josiah]

We can brighten it in post.

[Kai]

We can a little bit.

[Drew Phillips]

Kai will finger it out.

[Kai]

I'll finger it.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay, don't. You aren't supposed to repeat that.

[Kai]

Okay.

[Anya]

Kai will finger the video. Kai is always fingering the video.

[Josiah]

That's the best one ever. No.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay. This is like the Tom and Jerry scream. Like that is. That is not that woman's voice. That is literally like Jerry getting his tail snatched by Tom. Or is it reverse? Who's Tom and who's Jerry?

[Josiah]

Tom is Tom tail and Jerry is the mouse. Hello.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, Jerry's the mouse.

[Josiah]

You're the mouse, baby. I'm the cat. Play a little game of cat and mouse.

[Kai]

Oh, also, I found out that she say that.

[Josiah]

No.

[Kai]

Oh, I found out that Jerry's a side.

[Anya]

I was side men. Do y'all know what side is?

[Drew Phillips]

No.

[Anya]

There's top, bottom, verse, and then side.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, you have to.

[Anya]

I'm like, I'm giving like.

[Drew Phillips]

You're giving like celibate. No one wants to touch you. You're disgusting.

[Anya]

I'm giving top secret information away for free. But aside is someone that doesn't want any penetration at all.

[Josiah]

Honestly, respect penetration in their mouth, though.

[Anya]

No.

[Drew Phillips]

Damn.

[Anya]

No top, no bottom.

[Drew Phillips]

No first they're just hanging out.

[Josiah]

So they don't give head either.

[Anya]

They give her. They give head. Oh, aside.

[Josiah]

And you're saying Jerry's aside, the mouse. The little tiny thing that's like this big.

[Kai]

This is just what I heard that I don't.

[Drew Phillips]

Who did you hear that from? LA is a crazy place, guys, just.

[Josiah]

So you know, that part clocked up.

[Drew Phillips]

You need to stop doing that.

[Josiah]

I need to get nails, like, for real.

[Anya]

Because like this metal nails is kind of a vibe, dude.

[Drew Phillips]

Have you seen the people on Tick Tock who are like, what is it called? Like, jewelry makers. There's like a name for it. I can't remember the name for it, but there are people who. No, it's not jewel. There's jewelers and then there's like people who are literally like cobbling the metal jewelry maker.

[Anya]

No, they're called blacksmith.

[Josiah]

Blacksmith.

[Drew Phillips]

Blacksmith.

[Anya]

No, blacksmiths make swords.

[Drew Phillips]

And he might as well be a blacksmith because there's this on Tick Tock who makes like nails. Like they are doing sterling silver and Gold nails, and they'll, like, take a mold of your hand.

[Josiah]

Oh, I actually have seen that.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, that's kind. But also, like, what are you supposed to do? How the Am I supposed to bite my nails?

[Anya]

I haven't had my, you know, like, grills. I want one for my ear. Have you been seeing those? They take a mold of the inside of your ear and make a grill for your ear.

[Drew Phillips]

It's like an earring.

[Anya]

It's kind of like Schiaparelli coated.

[Drew Phillips]

That would be kind, but also, like, that's the kind of. That. Here I go, gluing on my gold nails. Like, I'm gonna be at a party and come back home and have, like, a pinky. A pointy finger, and, like.

[Anya]

And it's pretty worth, like, main events, though, because it's gold. And Ellen DeGeneres saved a lot of money on the show because she didn't hire editors.

[Drew Phillips]

She didn't hire nail tech.

[Anya]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

Oh, also, did y'all ever see Will I am's metal hair?

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

Remember at the super bowl, he had, like, metal hair and it's like a metal. Is his hair but made out of metal?

[Anya]

Yeah, dude.

[Drew Phillips]

The, like, people were doing when, like, futurism was in popularity in main culture was so funny. We need to get back to that. But I fear we. We are, like, too far in the future for people to do it for fun.

[Josiah]

Black Eyed Peas tour. Back then, it seemed like, like, 2000, the year 2010 and 11. Everybody was doing whatever the fuck they wanted.

[Anya]

Like, Katy Perry was on a cotton candy cloud and then riding a giant metal tiger.

[Josiah]

And Lady Gaga was dressing up like Joe Calderon. Yeah, Joe and Beyonce.

[Anya]

Someone should have gone, Joe Calderon. Girl. For main Halloween, you be Joe Calderon, and I'll be Gaga.

[Drew Phillips]

No, bitch. For main Halloween. I gotta be this because I already spent my money on this. This is getting worn. If you see me out in this, like, three times, don't say to me, act like you've never seen content of me in your life in this, because.

[Josiah]

She showed it herself.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, I made this all myself. It took me like, three minutes. Probably like three minutes.

[Josiah]

30 minutes.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay, 30 minutes. For a lot of people, this would probably take, like, three weeks, but it took me, like, 30 minutes.

[Anya]

Did you know you have 30?

[Josiah]

You know you have 30 minutes.

[Anya]

Do you know you have 30 minutes?

[Drew Phillips]

I love this bag of chips on your head. You're crazy. Crazy like you're.

[Anya]

I'm genuinely concerned that you can't see us this whole episode.

[Josiah]

Remember when that happened when we did the outdoor episode in Joshua.

[Anya]

Yeah, like, by nighttime.

[Josiah]

And we turned on the night vision.

[Anya]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

That's a vibe, though. Also, I was gonna say you look, like, pretty.

[Drew Phillips]

You look good.

[Josiah]

Like, I don't know why. I. Like. I think you look like a girl right now. And you look pretty. Like, if I saw you at the bar.

[Anya]

Drew, stop.

[Josiah]

I was, like, 10 drinks in doubles. So, like, 20 drinks.

[Drew Phillips]

So you need to be completely.

[Anya]

You would need to be dead to hook up with me.

[Kai]

That's really homophobic. I'm calling it.

[Anya]

Thank you, Kai.

[Josiah]

No, he's not homophobic. Let me tell you, he's gorgeous. I mean, look at him. Long brown hair.

[Kai]

You need to hook up with him.

[Josiah]

I would do it sober, even. And we would laugh about it.

[Anya]

We would laugh about it. We for sure would love it.

[Kai]

You honestly do look good with good long hair.

[Drew Phillips]

You should grow your hair out. I was trying to convince Drew so much. Oh, my God. Okay. So since the last episode, we went to the Brat Tour, we went to Sweat, and it was so fun. It was, like, such a good concert.

[Anya]

It was transcendental.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. I genuinely think Charlie is one of the best performers I've ever seen and trust and believe. I've been to a lot of concerts. My life's been pretty awesome.

[Josiah]

You said Beyonce.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah.

[Anya]

She's not better than.

[Josiah]

Charlie's better than Beyonce.

[Drew Phillips]

I didn't say that.

[Anya]

No one's better than Beyonce.

[Drew Phillips]

No one's saying.

[Anya]

But Charlie's stage presence is the closest you can get.

[Drew Phillips]

No, her presence, like, she has, like, sex appeal like, crazy. She's such a good performer. She is like, I couldn't keep my eyes off of her. And also, the way she interacts with.

[Anya]

The crowd, too, is so fucking funny. She'll just, like. I don't know if it was LA Specific, but, like, her just, like, cussing us all out for being fucking bunk was, like, really sick.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, I know. It was so.

[Anya]

It was very authentic feeling. It wasn't, like, a bit.

[Drew Phillips]

Also, Troy can dance his ass off. And I found myself, like, mimicking the way he was moving on stage, the way he, like, has such a specific, like, body movement. And I felt myself like. You know what I kept doing? You know that video of Rihanna? Fuck, I know. Body is crazy. That video of Rihanna when she's high as fuck, watching Lady Gaga. Show me your cheek and she smiles. I unironically did that at one point. Like, oh, no. Who was on say, oh, okay. Actually, I'm. Can you keep your fucking bag of chips on your head? Because you're actually being crazy.

[Josiah]

Too crazy.

[Drew Phillips]

Like now you're pushing it with being too crazy.

[Anya]

Can y'all shut the fuck up? All three of y'all. Y'all want to see crazy? I'll show you fucking crazy.

[Drew Phillips]

I mean, the chips are already on the head.

[Josiah]

And now the peace signs are coming out. We got a bloater. Our little comedian in.

[Drew Phillips]

You know what's crazy is I don't think Orion knows you were doing that for Halloween. And she sent me that yesterday. She was like, this is how I've been feeling lately.

[Anya]

That's so funny.

[Drew Phillips]

But I was mistaking my Rihanna moment was when we saw Conan because I was with you. You came to Conan with us because we also saw Conan Gray. We. We have had a blessing of a time at the platform.

[Anya]

We got Inglewood over. We were running Inglewood this week. Don't play with me, C. I also went to the football game out in Inglewood. I went to Sofa and that was really fun.

[Drew Phillips]

Shout out.

[Anya]

Orion, I miss and love you. You can get the most important meal of the day any time of day.

[Josiah]

I'm Talking about the $5 Big Deal.

[Anya]

Breakfast meal from Jack in the Box.

[Josiah]

Available all day and all night.

[Anya]

A breakfast Jack with a freshly cracked egg, a hash brown and French toast sticks for five bucks. Sounds good. For breakfast, lunch and dinner at Jack. Every bite's a big deal. Order Jack's $5 big deal breakfast meal now.

[Drew Phillips]

This episode is brought to you by Etsy. Oh, hear that? Okay, thank you. Etsy knows these aren't the sounds of holiday gifting. Well, not the ones you're hoping for. You want squeals of delight, Happy tears? How.

[Josiah]

How did you.

[Drew Phillips]

And spontaneously written songs of joy.

[Anya]

I am so happy. Oh yeah.

[Kai]

Oh yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh yeah. Um, okay, the song needs a bit of work, but anyway, to get those reactions, make sure everyone on your list feels heard with handmade, handpicked and designed gifts from small shops on Etsy. Gifts like personalized jewelry, custom artwork, cozy style items, vintage pieces, and home decor to celebrate all of your favorite people and their specific kind of special. For original gifs that say I get you, Etsy has it way to eat a tea. You listening to an app at PC Game Pass? Want new games on day one? Like Indiana Jones and the Great Circle? How about living out your SIMS Life with EA Play? We talking high quality PC games all.

[Josiah]

For one low monthly price?

[Drew Phillips]

We got you. Learn more at Xbox.com PCGame Pass or click the banner Indiana Jones and the Great Circle. Available December 9, 2024. GameCap Lock Varies by region and over time. Okay, that's the ad. You can go back to doing whatever.

[Josiah]

You were doing now.

[Drew Phillips]

I. It was so fun. We got to see Charlie, we got to see Troy, we got to see Conan who was like so awesome. Also watching, like there were a few parent daughter couples around us at Conan's thing or like duos not. And it was really, really sweet to see like moms. I wish I had a mom. But more importantly Conan. Conan at one part goes like this. Like, I don't know if you saw him on stage. He went like this. And I was so high. I literally looked at him and I went like, I did hit him back and I got so embarrassed because I was like, I was like, oh my God, what if someone saw me doing that? Because he was like telling us to clap and I was clapping. And then after everybody like finished clapping, he went like this. I was like, thank you. And I was like, thank you. Like, I did it back.

[Anya]

And I was like, everyone thought like Charlie was like grew and her fans were the minions. Like, I saw that joke a bunch because like it really was giving that. At some points Conan is grew and his fans are the minions. And I was clapping along, I was waving my hands. I had my flash out. Like I was doing the whole fucking thing. And I truly believe. And this is not my take, this is a known take. But if more people went to fucking concerts, there would be a lot less bigoted religious people in this world because it is a very religious experience to be in a room of. Of 15,000 people, all there for the same reason, singing the same songs.

[Drew Phillips]

And I mean, yeah, why people love church. Cuz when you think about it, they do that damn concert, they get someone up there and they sing. It's probably a kid who can't sing.

[Anya]

For it just makes them feel included. It's like you're a part of something. And that's really what concerts make me feel like.

[Josiah]

We hate church.

[Drew Phillips]

No, we don't hate church.

[Anya]

We don't mind church.

[Drew Phillips]

We don't hate church. But would you see me in a church by choice? Absolutely. The not like, like, I genuinely don't think I could sit through. Is it a sermon? Is that what it's called?

[Josiah]

It depends on the religion.

[Anya]

Yeah, I want to go to the Mulholland Drive church really bad. I feel like that would be the Kris Jenner one. I don't know which one it is.

[Josiah]

She was in a freaky church. Kris Jenner.

[Anya]

There's. I just know there's like a church on Mulholland Drive with a beautiful view, and I just want to go to it one time.

[Drew Phillips]

Well, yeah, but I'm really about to talk to Stepped outside, and it was gorgeous. And you had a view like that. I'd be like, wow, God is here. Like, he was here this morning with us. But I've only been to Jehovah's Witness church, so I think that's why I'm like, I don't want to go. Because that wasn't fun.

[Anya]

That was not a vibe at all.

[Josiah]

That would have not been chill.

[Anya]

I literally, if I move, if I have any sudden movements, y'all, like, the chip bag goes fine. So I have to, like, really be slow, really see and move. Suddenly, y'all, the Jewel class action lawsuit is going down, and people are getting their payouts. Finally, I saw one for $8,000. If I signed up for that lawsuit, I swear to God, I would have gotten paid 15 grand. I was smoking that when I was 15 years old to the age of, like, 20, and I even, like, tried one, like, at 23 or some like that. Like, really, I was, like, hitting the out of. And the fact that I'm still only 16 is, like, actually crazy.

[Drew Phillips]

Wait, that doesn't make sense. Did you, like, go back? You regressed?

[Josiah]

Yes.

[Anya]

No, I. Yeah, I time travel. No, I've been, like, 16 for the last, like, six years. But, like, the real craziest part about it is I haven't aged today. I really haven't. Wait, this is my RuPaul's Drag Race. Like, my. What is it called? Yeah, my Snatch Game.

[Josiah]

If you get it, you get it. If you don't, you didn't get it. How. Like, what the does Catwoman do?

[Drew Phillips]

You know, she's low key, quiet as. So you're not giving cat.

[Anya]

Yeah, you're supposed.

[Drew Phillips]

She's supposed to be stealthy and quiet. You should have just been Ariana Grande in that one video.

[Josiah]

I'm very demure. Oh, yeah.

[Anya]

Josiah's being very demure right now.

[Josiah]

I'm very demure. I'm very quiet.

[Drew Phillips]

It. Did your boots make so much noise?

[Anya]

That's the biggest plot hole in Catwoman. Is that leather outfit not making sounds?

[Drew Phillips]

Well, I think it was real leather. It wouldn't make as much noise. Actually.

[Josiah]

This is real leather.

[Drew Phillips]

No, that's from Amazon, and we got it for $0 because we're gonna force Josiah to take it.

[Josiah]

Talk about it. Amazon will let you do $0 and don't pay for it. And if you return it within seven days, there's no money taken out of your account.

[Anya]

It's a method for.

[Drew Phillips]

I was gonna say, I also think it's a ploy because, like, most people don't have time to return something.

[Josiah]

They're lazy. A lot of people don't want to work nowadays.

[Anya]

Right?

[Josiah]

You don't want to go down to the coals.

[Drew Phillips]

You don't want to work nowadays? Actually, no. You. You've been working.

[Josiah]

I've been working.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, I've been working. No, you had a good year where.

[Josiah]

Like, the work was stagnant, and I wasn't even trying. I was like, fuck this shit. Like, I got these credit cards. Let's max them out. What's your credit score?

[Anya]

I think I have, like, a 705 now.

[Josiah]

T, what's your credit score?

[Drew Phillips]

I think it's like a 740.

[Josiah]

Oh, what's your credit score?

[Kai]

I think, Honestly, mine's like 810, so.

[Anya]

You're annoying.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay.

[Anya]

Like, I buy it.

[Drew Phillips]

The thing is, like. It's like, mine is good because I'm nonchalant. Like, mine is good because I'm nonchalant, and I don't, like. I just, like, keep up with my life.

[Josiah]

Well, it's good to know we'd all get approved for an apartment.

[Kai]

Yeah, I guess that.

[Anya]

What's yours?

[Drew Phillips]

Josiah.

[Anya]

Josiah's is 2:20.

[Josiah]

It's about 3:40. It's been brief. Rebuilding.

[Anya]

This is in his building era.

[Josiah]

I'm in my building era because in 2022, I was like. Because, like, I got a girlfriend.

[Drew Phillips]

What were you even doing, though? Because you same fake Prada shirt every day.

[Josiah]

Food. All I spend money on is food. I love food. I'm obsessed with food. I eat all three meals.

[Anya]

I mean, we can tell.

[Drew Phillips]

I mean, Stan, because it's going somewhere.

[Anya]

It's going right to that bowl. It's going right.

[Josiah]

I have to remember that.

[Anya]

It's going right to the pussy. It's going to the big puss, dude.

[Kai]

It's way too close to my face.

[Josiah]

But really, like, I'm rebuilding my credit. Y'all just wait until I get back to. Because you know what? One last thing about this. I'm so sorry, but by the time that I was 19, about to be 20, my credit score was at, like, 780. I was so close to 800. Like, it's close. And then the pandemic hit, and I realized, oh, I have credit cards, and I can just max them out and I'll pay them eventually.

[Drew Phillips]

I literally think I only have A good credit score because I've been paying off cars my whole life. Like that. Literally, that is the only reason I have.

[Anya]

It is because of my credit is the fucking devil. I fucking hate credit. Don't get credit. Bullshit loans out. It is evil. I fucking hate credit. I wish I prayed I did not get a credit score until I was 25. Five, six.

[Josiah]

That's true.

[Anya]

I. I just got a credit card. Or I just got a credit card.

[Drew Phillips]

Well, yeah, but that also made our life incredibly difficult because my credit used to be bad. So then when we got this ugly, nasty apartment, we had to beg for it, which is crazy because we had to beg for the apartment.

[Anya]

We did change a lot of things around here.

[Drew Phillips]

I mean, yeah, we destroyed this place for sure.

[Josiah]

We did change a lot of things around here.

[Anya]

We made our landlord more trusting of people under the age of 30.

[Drew Phillips]

I mean, actually we did because when we moved in, there was nobody under the age of 35 in this building. Now it is ransacked and run by children under 30 and a 16 year old, aka Drew. And my neighbors, they scare me. I don't want to talk about it. That's it.

[Josiah]

I'm missing my middle finger.

[Anya]

Ooh. Y'all, we have not addressed, like the main thing that happened this week that is legitimately the most insane thing I've ever seen happen in my entire life. Life. Hate the man. Trump working at McDonald's and then E.

[Drew Phillips]

Coli surfacing, literally a day.

[Anya]

It's because he licked, he scratched his ass and sprayed the E. Coli particles. And also Trump smells like. That is not like a. Like a made up thing. No, people, people know, like, this is a real thing. He smells like he doesn't brush his teeth.

[Drew Phillips]

I mean, he doesn't like using clean towels. Like, I know exactly what his towel smells like. And it smells like just like a nasty man's.

[Josiah]

Well, that's how he saves so much money. Yeah, true is because he uses the same towel.

[Anya]

Also, he eats a fish fillet, like every single day.

[Josiah]

Like so, y'all. That's part of me. Is that true?

[Anya]

He eats a fish fillet on his private jet. He always gets McDonald's for his private jet rides. He's nasty, rancid. Go vote. Please, please, for the love of God, go vote.

[Josiah]

He wears a girdle. That should be enough to tell you.

[Anya]

Also, he had to sit on a ped on a talk show because he has a leaky fucking gun.

[Drew Phillips]

That can't be true.

[Josiah]

No, it is. Do the peace sign.

[Drew Phillips]

He is so nasty. I Literally, like, I'm not kidding. In my head. He is not real. And if. Oh, you know that new AI thing where you could put in a picture and squish, like, the image? That's what I imagine is Donald Trump. Like, to me, he's not a real person. He's somebody that, if somebody wanted, God could come and squish him up. And I wish that's what would happen. That can't happen. So what you need to do is go to the booths of voting and go and vote for Ms. Kamala and Mr. Walls, please.

[Josiah]

Or vote for me. Please vote for me.

[Anya]

Oh, yeah. That actually hurt.

[Josiah]

Oh, I saw that, Drew. You felt that?

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, he got a really bad headache. Like, not long after that was uploaded, they, like, reanimated.

[Kai]

That was real.

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Anya]

Yes.

[Kai]

Oh, I thought that was fake.

[Drew Phillips]

If only the people who killed who were left handed and called them witches saw what we could do on our iPhones today, they would actually die.

[Anya]

Like, oh, they would come.

[Drew Phillips]

It's crazy.

[Anya]

You can't.

[Drew Phillips]

You can't call anybody a witch for that kind of anymore. You're just like, oh, what website did I do?

[Anya]

They are literal witches on Etsy, by the way.

[Drew Phillips]

We need. We.

[Anya]

Yeah, we need.

[Josiah]

They sell potions.

[Drew Phillips]

They actually do.

[Josiah]

They do. And candles.

[Anya]

I want to buy them. Oh, I bought a bunch of witchcraft.

[Drew Phillips]

Candles, and he never lit them.

[Anya]

I got scared. And I'm also in my era where I'm not supposed to be lighting them. I did a lot of research, and I'm not gonna light them anytime soon, and I may never. But I have them in the off chance that something horrible, horrible, horrible happens in my life, and I really do need to sell my soul to the devil.

[Drew Phillips]

Don't do Me and the devil walk.

[Anya]

Side by side Me and the devil.

[Drew Phillips]

I think me, Drew, and Josie are gonna start a trio, and we're gonna defeat the ones who made the, like, stop that way that you ate me. We're gonna make a song.

[Josiah]

Clickbait.

[Drew Phillips]

Even worse.

[Josiah]

Kind of looking like clickbait music.

[Drew Phillips]

We're gonna make it look like clickbait.

[Josiah]

Deep fake. It's kind of looking like a clickbait. Deep fake. It's kind of looking like clickbait.

[Drew Phillips]

Tell me what you need. You know what you need.

[Josiah]

I feel bad for them, though. I tr. I really do.

[Drew Phillips]

I don't.

[Josiah]

No, no, no. The song is horrible. They don't make good music.

[Drew Phillips]

There are people out there who like that thing. Like, that's okay.

[Josiah]

I know. But I was just thinking about it, and I Was like, dude, why the. Like, we live in such a crazy world where, like, this has become a topic that has lasted for weeks. When a shitty song used to come out, it would just be like, oh, that sucked. Like, but now it's like, just. No one has anything to talk about. Like, just shut the up. I hate it. Don't get me wrong. But, like, it's not funny to me anymore.

[Anya]

Respect, Honest.

[Josiah]

It's not funny anymore. Three weeks.

[Anya]

Like, I actually love this behavior. Behavior.

[Josiah]

We need to, like, the trend cycle needs to speed up again. For real. Because we're running out of. We spending so much time on this.

[Drew Phillips]

Or not a lot of time. We don't have, like, a lot of things to, like, talk about.

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Anya]

Grew up in an era of fashion. Like, that will never be replicated. I mean, like, 2014, we were like, the last 2017 is not gonna give. Like, when they, like, recycle that, like, it is not gonna give.

[Drew Phillips]

Eat.

[Anya]

No, I'll eat specifically 2010 to 2012.

[Drew Phillips]

That's not going to happen, and you're never going to make it happen. The, like, movie theater glasses with the lenses popped out.

[Josiah]

Like, the mustache, dude, the mustache on the finger.

[Anya]

She definitely had one.

[Drew Phillips]

Just won't come back. Also, before I lose this thought, the tell me what you need is the new, like, younger kids version of, like.

[Anya]

Guys, consent is important.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

What did you just say?

[Drew Phillips]

What?

[Anya]

Consent is important.

[Josiah]

That's true. That actually is true.

[Drew Phillips]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I was like, why are you sad?

[Anya]

I ate. Y'all, like, leave the alone.

[Drew Phillips]

You need to start eating those damn chips.

[Josiah]

Bag of chips.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm not gonna lie. I can't wait to eat pretzels. Even though pretzels low key give me pts.

[Anya]

Psd because pretzels are disgusting. These.

[Drew Phillips]

I love pretzels.

[Anya]

Hell no. They stop my head.

[Josiah]

They heard you.

[Anya]

No, dude, pretzels. No, they're not. They don't give. Like, what they remind me of is church. Oh, church with a plastic cup that you would eat the pretzels out of, and then they would put some sort of juice inside the cup with the pretzels.

[Josiah]

Wait, yalls body of Christmas rice was pretzels?

[Anya]

No, it was like, like youth group.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, it was just, like, a snack they would give you.

[Josiah]

Yes. Oh, I thought this was like the communion. And I was like, y'all were using pretzels and, like, fruit juice.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh. Because I was gonna say pretzels low key. Remind me of being in YMCA when the only snacks they would give us Was Fig Newtons and pretzels.

[Josiah]

Fig Newtons are so good, though.

[Drew Phillips]

I don't with Fig Newtons. I haven't got over that hump.

[Kai]

Joe, sign, please.

[Josiah]

I'm trying to fucking readjust.

[Kai]

We don't have HR staring at me.

[Josiah]

Stop staring at me.

[Drew Phillips]

I mean, you are looking.

[Josiah]

Why are you looking?

[Kai]

He's playing with his. Like.

[Josiah]

Are you looking? I saw you looking.

[Kai]

I don't even know what to call that.

[Josiah]

Hit him.

[Drew Phillips]

Hit him.

[Josiah]

Yeah, please.

[Kai]

Honestly.

[Josiah]

Yeah, it be a Halloween miracle.

[Kai]

And hit me harder this time, cuz last time it didn't.

[Josiah]

Okay, hit me hard and soft. Is giving Billy Eilish.

[Anya]

Oh, you knocked a bag of chips off my.

[Kai]

I didn't do anything. You hit me in the jerking.

[Josiah]

Get him. Do it again.

[Kai]

Again. That wasn't enough.

[Josiah]

I don't even.

[Drew Phillips]

He wants it out.

[Josiah]

I know.

[Kai]

Yeah, that's.

[Drew Phillips]

Why'd you bend over like that?

[Kai]

Yeah, because you're too afraid to hit me again.

[Drew Phillips]

You're being a slut. Drew's being a slut.

[Kai]

Damn, your ass actually looks super good in those pants. No, not you, Josiah fucking Drew. Look at his ass.

[Josiah]

It looks great. The headband fell.

[Anya]

Yeah. No. Oh, I'm just gonna commit. Like this.

[Josiah]

This just like. Just balance it.

[Anya]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

Are you taking selfies right now?

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, this is my.

[Anya]

Yeah, India can do whatever the she want.

[Kai]

It's her. Yeah, it's her podcast.

[Anya]

You dare talk to my girl like that? Coney 2012.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay, you need to take those chips off your head, cuz if I hear them falling one more time, I'm.

[Josiah]

Because it's all the Salt in there.

[Anya]

2012.

[Kai]

Just put the bag down, dude.

[Josiah]

Oh, my God, you're actually.

[Drew Phillips]

Wait, Maybe the bag of chips wasn't crazy. Maybe the, like, real meaning of that meme is like, when she puts the bag of chips on her head, it actually dilutes the crazy. And when she takes it off.

[Kai]

That's a good theory.

[Drew Phillips]

Drew.

[Kai]

Drew, come back.

[Josiah]

Why did he run away?

[Kai]

Because you guys are being homophobic.

[Josiah]

I wasn't me. I. I wasn't.

[Kai]

You said a bunch of homophobic coded things.

[Josiah]

No, I didn't.

[Kai]

And I'm an ally, so I do pick up on stuff like that. Drew, come back.

[Drew Phillips]

Drew, I'm not begging.

[Kai]

I don't give a. I'll please come back.

[Drew Phillips]

Ew. Ew, ew, ew. Stop. You look gross. Like you're scaring me.

[Josiah]

Drew, bro, what the Is this?

[Drew Phillips]

He's Fall Girl now?

[Anya]

No, I took my wig off and this is what I died My hair.

[Drew Phillips]

Wait, when did you get your hair done?

[Anya]

Like today.

[Josiah]

When did you get your hair?

[Anya]

I got it done today, y'all. It was under the wig. I wanted to do like a reveal. Like reveal?

[Josiah]

Like a double wig reveal? Yeah, like a wig under a wig.

[Anya]

Yeah. Guys, I took my hair off.

[Kai]

I just wanted to say I wasn't here for the last Halloween episode. It is such an honor to be here for this one. The eve before your poop.

[Drew Phillips]

You're hitting your word, Max.

[Anya]

I am.

[Drew Phillips]

Every word is 50 cents and it adds up quick. So think about it.

[Anya]

Kai, I just wanted to ask you a question. Can you give me a 40 word dissertation on why I'm so hot?

[Drew Phillips]

400 words.

[Kai]

The thing about the. The way that Drew is so beautiful and his body goes crazy. I love his hourglass figure. I like the way that when he runs, I can hear his nut slap against his ews.

[Anya]

Like, girls make it clap with their ass. I make it clap in my balls.

[Josiah]

For real.

[Anya]

My dick and ball.

[Josiah]

Can you actually make it clap with my ass?

[Anya]

Yes, I can.

[Josiah]

Can you clap those cheeks?

[Kai]

Actually, he can. Maybe you show me or us.

[Drew Phillips]

I think when I turn 26, I'm gonna get a BBL, by the way. So y'all stay tuned for that.

[Anya]

That.

[Drew Phillips]

But I'll only have it for like a month and then I'll get rid of it.

[Anya]

I was trying to come up with a joke.

[Josiah]

Wait, you're going to have it for a month and then get it sucked out, right?

[Drew Phillips]

I unironically. Oh, what you say?

[Kai]

True said. No, that was important.

[Drew Phillips]

He's fine. He's fine.

[Kai]

No, he's not. Look at him.

[Drew Phillips]

He says that stuff all the time.

[Josiah]

Like, what did he say?

[Drew Phillips]

He said he's going to kill himself. You know him. He said that all the time.

[Josiah]

He has no commitment.

[Drew Phillips]

He has commitment issues over here.

[Kai]

You guys are not being empathetic.

[Anya]

No one hates me more than I hate myself.

[Josiah]

True.

[Drew Phillips]

I think I'm going to start using my phone like this. Like, you know how old people hold it from the bottom and they just, like, use their finger to, like, navigate around the screen.

[Anya]

I'm going to just start fingering myself on the podcast. Yeah, just like jinx.

[Josiah]

You owe me soda jigs. You owe me coke.

[Anya]

You owe me bottom tonight, right?

[Josiah]

I'm not doing that.

[Drew Phillips]

Why not?

[Josiah]

No, it had not been ch.

[Anya]

Should we tell ooky spooky scary stories?

[Drew Phillips]

Dude, I was trying to think and, like, I don't know if I have scary stories that I can.

[Anya]

I have One that I've been withholding for the last 12 years for this moment.

[Josiah]

What is that?

[Anya]

I was a home alone.

[Josiah]

Oh.

[Anya]

Actually, I was in bed with my father and my mother.

[Drew Phillips]

Wait, really?

[Josiah]

I am hating this wig on.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm, like, so confused.

[Anya]

No, no, no. When I was about 14 years old, I was home alone.

[Josiah]

Okay. Macaulay Culkin. Drew. I mean, you got it. You got it continuously.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, you're actually starting to freak me out. Like, it's really scaring me because also when you move around like that, I can't see your face. And I'm just looking at a blonde head of hair. I do actually have a story.

[Josiah]

I don't think he does.

[Kai]

I have a scary story.

[Anya]

Tell it.

[Kai]

So I've been thinking a lot, and I feel like I'm not straight. I'm actually a bisexual person.

[Josiah]

Cool. It's 2024.

[Drew Phillips]

That doesn't mean the worst one. Like, that's what you're going to be.

[Kai]

Because it's, like, scary.

[Anya]

Just commit, like, bro, you're either straight or gay.

[Josiah]

Exactly, exactly.

[Anya]

I love you for that.

[Kai]

Oh, thank you.

[Anya]

I love.

[Kai]

I am a bisexual, but I'm only hooking up with girls.

[Anya]

Oh, that doesn't make Kai's a side with women.

[Kai]

Yeah, we just.

[Anya]

He's the first straight side.

[Kai]

Yeah. Harvey Milk would be so proud.

[Drew Phillips]

Who the is that?

[Josiah]

Who's Harvey Milk?

[Kai]

Are y'all more homophobia?

[Anya]

Actually crazy.

[Josiah]

Who is Harvey Milk?

[Kai]

You don't know who Harvey Miller. Drew. Drew. I know who. Her.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, okay. This doesn't. This makes us kind of stupid.

[Josiah]

What did he do?

[Anya]

He was like.

[Drew Phillips]

He was a politician who gay rights.

[Anya]

Like, he went crazy in San Francisco.

[Josiah]

I'm glad that Harvey Milk existed because he paved the way, but I don't know who he is. I mean, that's just a fact.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. Thank you for everything you've done, Rip.

[Josiah]

I'm guessing he's dead.

[Drew Phillips]

For Drew's kind. That makes me really happy what you've done for Drew's kind. And I'm happy I get to witness it now.

[Josiah]

Yeah, I guess now.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

Not me.

[Kai]

Nope.

[Drew Phillips]

No. Oh, my God. Back with the crying.

[Kai]

Why are you crying?

[Josiah]

Stop.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay, like, why are you crying? He does that all the time. He's dramatic.

[Kai]

He's in pain.

[Drew Phillips]

No, he's withdrawing. He needs vodka. He just needs a little bit of vodka.

[Kai]

And he goes, right, dude, I have a bunch. I brought a bunch. I brought my car vodka. Vodka into that.

[Anya]

Your little bottle of car vodka keep in the car that you drink.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Anya]

Your Little bottle. Your little baby bottle.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

Do y'all think if I went out this Halloween and went to a party and, like, hit, like, two people, I knew that if the next day I was like, oh, my God, I, like, was going through psychosis. I didn't know who anybody was because everyone was in costumes. Do you think I could, like, do that?

[Josiah]

You would get away with it?

[Kai]

Yes, because you have pretty privilege, and you can get away with any thing all of you do.

[Anya]

Stop flirting with.

[Kai]

I'm not flirting. I'm not flirting. That was a platonic compliment. Well, yeah, ours is more.

[Anya]

Ew.

[Josiah]

What?

[Anya]

I have a good wing. No.

[Kai]

Oh, Josiah. Does that piss you off watching that?

[Josiah]

No, I just worry for Drew.

[Kai]

What are you worried about?

[Anya]

I'm scared.

[Josiah]

He's scared of you.

[Kai]

I can hear you when you whisper.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm scared.

[Anya]

Okay, well, should I go into my little facts about TV remotes 25 years ago, bro. All right, I'll get into him, y'all. So you know. You know why some people on the west coast are like, oh, that's a clicker. Like a remote. A remote to me is a remote. A clicker is a remote. To them, it's a remote.

[Drew Phillips]

Saying remote.

[Kai]

I said, remote.

[Josiah]

Remote.

[Drew Phillips]

I think Josh is the only person we've ever met who actually does that.

[Anya]

Some people call it a clicker.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Really?

[Drew Phillips]

Like, give me the clicker.

[Anya]

And I was.

[Josiah]

They call it the switch. Oh, they used, oh, can you pass me the switch? And I'm like, my Nintendo switch. The fuck are you talking about? And they also call the ATM the teller.

[Anya]

Maybe they call it what the fuck? The verse.

[Drew Phillips]

Wait. I genuinely think Josh's family has, like, time traveled because they're on some weird shit.

[Anya]

No, they're really weird. They're weird for that.

[Josiah]

The teller. That's what ATM stands for.

[Anya]

I did not get to tell my TV remote shit, and you interrupted me.

[Drew Phillips]

The facts of life you were serving just, like, making.

[Anya]

It is called a clicker, right? And I was always like, why do people call it a clicker? Well, 25 years ago, remotes literally changed the channel, the volume turned on and off by making a high pitched frequency that was inaudible to human ears. That was a loud clicking sound. So it would turn the TV on and off, but they discontinued it because people would open a soda in the other room or, like, turn on the faucet and it would change the channel and turn the TV off. And then at night when the wind was blowing and, like, a tree branch would scratch against the window. It would turn on the TV wig list. The ghost took my wig because I was going to get into the spooky story about poltergeist people. There's. TVs would turn on because the trees would scratch against the window. I just got my fucking phone fixed, I swear. God, it's.

[Kai]

It's broken.

[Drew Phillips]

Drew needs a phone case.

[Josiah]

Get a phone case.

[Anya]

I have Apple Care, which Donald Trump is promising to take away. That's why you need to vote for Kamala Tampons.

[Drew Phillips]

I don't know. That's why you need to do it. Like, there's a lot of better reasons to do it, but if you were for some reason an idiot and you haven't decided, I hope Apple Care can at least push you. You made that up. Like, what's up is he's insane. And I believe that, like, if I saw. No the Apple. Apple Care. I literally believed it. I heard were saying in the room earlier and you were repeating it. I was like, damn, he really is trying to take a like Apple Care away from us.

[Kai]

The clicker.

[Drew Phillips]

He's trying to take Apple C was so interesting.

[Josiah]

Wasn't that fascinating?

[Kai]

I was like in rapture.

[Anya]

No, listen. And people would think the TV would turn on automatically. So they thought their houses were haunted by pol guys. And so that's why they discontinued them because people were like stopping buying TV. Stopping buying TVs then.

[Josiah]

That's why they saved so much.

[Anya]

That's why Samsung lost a lot of money. Samsung is the biggest company in Korea. Fun fact.

[Drew Phillips]

I knew that, actually.

[Josiah]

So the. The. What we didn't talk about was the Pharaoh and the Captain and Hulu.

[Anya]

This is Josiah's scary story.

[Josiah]

This is my scary story.

[Anya]

Get into it.

[Josiah]

I was, okay, paint you the picture. It's 2010. I was like 20 at the time. So we were on at the startup of Hulu. You know Hulu, the streaming service? Yeah, yeah, we were at the startup of Hulu. It was me. Well, I created it. All the codes for everything. Someone comes along. His name is Jason, but he calls himself the Pharaoh, you know. And everyone in the industry is like, oh, the Pharaoh. Like, he's so prestige, you know, he's so. He, you know, he's great. He ended up getting me onto the ship and it's not funny, bro.

[Anya]

We bought.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm sorry. I'm not really fucking traumatic laughing because, like, that's my way of connecting to people.

[Josiah]

Well, okay. Well, it was a wooden ship. It was made out of wood.

[Anya]

And it was.

[Josiah]

You must know. And it was Green. And it floated. And the Pharaoh chased me around that ship for years until eventually he ousted me from the company.

[Anya]

No, he caught you and put you in the hold of the ship and trapped you down there.

[Josiah]

Well, yes, I was in the brig for quite a while, but also, finally, he ousted me from Hulu. I have no ties to it, no stock options. My options diluted down to zero.

[Drew Phillips]

But remember what you always say, that.

[Josiah]

Tick Tock ostracized me for my family. And also that Tim Walls is putting dim bonds in the boys bathroom. So there's a hope that maybe I'll get my access back to Hulu. I'm driving a Honda Civic, for God's sake.

[Anya]

The rats are eating the wires, bro.

[Josiah]

My life is a cartoon, bro. Okay, okay. They're eating the wires.

[Anya]

Why don't you eat the rat since you're cat girl?

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, yeah.

[Josiah]

I wasn't cat girl at the time. But what I'm gonna say.

[Kai]

Too much work blurring that out.

[Josiah]

Tailbone. Damn cats have it hard. But what I'm gonna really say is what I'm telling you right now is that the. This is true.

[Kai]

It looks like a brain.

[Josiah]

Kai. You don't know this? The rats. I parked my car at Jas for a week, which says a lot about this street.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, okay.

[Anya]

Don't talk about our street like that.

[Drew Phillips]

Where I hear people yelling at each.

[Josiah]

Other every night, throwing beer bottles into our house. I would live here. I think what it was is I parked it by that abandoned house that burnt down, and I think there's rats in there. And they got up into my car. Oh, my God, bro, you're a man spreader.

[Kai]

No, I'm actually very compact right now.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay, Let him talk about his trauma. You laughed about the shit.

[Kai]

I'm uncomfortable. Sexually intimidating.

[Drew Phillips]

Ousted by the Pharaoh and ostracized from my family.

[Anya]

He was ousted by the Pharaoh. Like, all you care about is your giant. You care about his giant pussy.

[Kai]

His botched tuck is freaking me out. Oh, okay.

[Drew Phillips]

Just keep going. I'm so sorry. Just keep going.

[Kai]

That was. I shouldn't have said that.

[Josiah]

Just keep ignoring.

[Kai]

Is someone gonna hit me for what I said?

[Josiah]

But really.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, my God.

[Josiah]

Just. The rats crawled up into my car and ate all the wires and caused $5,000 worth of damage. And I was like, did you hear that?

[Anya]

The rat.

[Kai]

How much?

[Anya]

$5,000.

[Drew Phillips]

The rats crawled up and, like, bit all the wiring, so his car just.

[Josiah]

Wasn'T working, which I'm like, why? Like, why? They cannot eat it. Why are you biting through it? Like, why are you press it with me? Because, yeah, Kat, like, I really don't understand because my life is like a fucking cartoon, bro. Like the last few months, my life, it's not even a joke at this point. It's. Your life has been like, there's a lot of good things that I'm grateful for. My family is alive, I have lovely people in my life. But like, there's a lot that's like cartoonish. God is messing with me for real.

[Drew Phillips]

Well, the good news is, or I guess it's bad news for you, but we are not loving people in your life because we've actually been secretly poisoning you and that's why your stomach hurts.

[Anya]

Yes.

[Josiah]

You know, I thought my girlfriend, I really. Two months into this whole stomach debacle, I looked at her when we were like sitting outside and I was like.

[Drew Phillips]

Are you poisoning Phantom?

[Josiah]

And I was losing it. Yeah, I like Phantom thread because she loves that movie. And I bought her the book from that movie. The Poisonous mushroom book. Yeah, like that tells you which one.

[Drew Phillips]

She went into the woods.

[Josiah]

Think about what was going on with me like a month and a half ago, two months ago, I was losing it.

[Anya]

It was dark.

[Josiah]

Stuff happened in my family and stuff. And I really, genuinely looked at her and I was like, like, are you poisoning me? Like, I really, I mean, well, I.

[Drew Phillips]

Really can't even blame you because the first half of this year was so bad for me that I genuinely, I genuinely believed I had either a hex put on me. I thought I was genuinely. I didn't grow up Catholic, but I somehow had intense Catholic guilt. That's none of your business. But I genuinely was going down. I was going down a rabbit hole that I was like, last year I was committing sins that are like, I'm repenting. Like I literally, I genuinely. For a day in my life, it. Thankfully it only lasted a day. But my. Like I had four awful things happen within the span of two weeks. And I just sat upstate with Orion cuz I was on a brand trip when one of these things happened happen. And I was sitting outside looking around and I was like, okay, like God is like actually attacking me. Like he's just attacking me before I die. And that means I'm gonna die soon. And now I'm on medication. The feeling hasn't gone away, but.

[Josiah]

And here you are.

[Anya]

For the most part. It has though.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah.

[Anya]

You don't, you don't complain about it as much. You look really beautiful. Your eyelashes look really good.

[Drew Phillips]

Thank you. They're fake.

[Anya]

Are they? Really?

[Drew Phillips]

I put two fake ones at the end.

[Anya]

Let me see. They look good.

[Josiah]

They look good as well.

[Drew Phillips]

So that I could have, like, a Minnie Mouse concert now.

[Josiah]

Could have fooled me.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. You'd even have to give me a compliment. I'm actually, like, really easygoing and, like, nobody has a treat, right? And I'll just, like.

[Anya]

I don't want that shit anymore. It's ran through.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, okay.

[Josiah]

It's ran through. Are you talking about the kitty?

[Anya]

The purpur.

[Josiah]

Don't talk about the kitty.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, my God. Thank you. You're not calling it tuna box.

[Josiah]

It's not the tuna box anymore, baby. She had it cleaned out. She had it flushed out.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. You. You know the videos when somebody goes so far down a drain that the snake comes out the other end of, like, another ap?

[Anya]

That's what they did to us.

[Josiah]

They did a snake through Enya's whole.

[Drew Phillips]

Body, and it came out my mouth and, like, sloshed around.

[Josiah]

What happened with my colonoscopy? They were like, like, both ends.

[Anya]

I need the footage.

[Drew Phillips]

Was there a camera in there?

[Josiah]

Yes. I have all the pictures. You guys want the pictures?

[Drew Phillips]

You actually have footage of it?

[Josiah]

I don't have footage. I wish. I have photos.

[Kai]

We can insert it.

[Drew Phillips]

Ew.

[Josiah]

My terminal ilium. The cobblestoning.

[Kai]

It'll go on weird, guys.

[Drew Phillips]

It'll go on Patreon cobblestone.

[Josiah]

It's too much to explain. It's not fun.

[Drew Phillips]

Y'all are, like, literally, the reason y'all feel sick is because you have iPhones. Like, it's that damn phone. I'm not even kidding.

[Josiah]

It's definitely a big part of it.

[Drew Phillips]

It's because y'all can. I've realized I am in a group of friends who are all extreme hypochondriacs, and it literally, every time I walk past the room, it's like. And I know. And I, like. I think I need to go to the hospital. Like, it's literally like every waking moment is like, somebody being like, I think I need to go to the hospital. No, you should. I'll take you. Do you want to go?

[Anya]

And, like, it's literally that first time in my life I have not been taking my health serious.

[Drew Phillips]

I know. And it actually is working.

[Josiah]

Very valid reason to go.

[Anya]

India has been begging me to go to the hospital, and I just. I think I'm gonna perforate my colon on purpose, and I'm gonna lose an arm because I go. I go septic. No, no.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay. Because this. This is a dark. No.

[Anya]

I shouldn't say, I'm gonna go septic.

[Josiah]

Don't. Yeah, we don't want to see you guys.

[Drew Phillips]

These are bad thoughts. Thoughts coming out in different ways. And you not taking your health seriously.

[Anya]

I'd rather lose a leg.

[Drew Phillips]

A projection of something you're feeling mentally because you haven't been feeling good mentally. So now you are not taking your health seriously.

[Anya]

Exactly. No. I want to die.

[Drew Phillips]

I know. You need to go to the hospital.

[Kai]

When it finally comes out, you're gonna have to get a husband stitch.

[Drew Phillips]

But I will say I am genuinely so jealous of the relief you're gonna feel when it's gone. Like, y'all.

[Anya]

I went to the gym. The gym. We don't have a scale in our house. I think there should be illegal in homes, but we have a scale at the gym. And I've been trying to gain weight. I've been trying to gain weight, and I stepped on the scale, and I was like, hey, I'm, like, putting on muscle like crazy. I hadn't for 14 days at the time, and I had 12 pounds of.

[Drew Phillips]

Wait when we went the other day.

[Anya]

Yes.

[Kai]

There's no way. It's.

[Drew Phillips]

No, no. Every time we're, like, at the gym randomly, like, when we're leaving, when Drew has, like, finally started to gain weight, he'll update me on, like, if he is gaining weight, and I hover around.

[Anya]

138 to 144 on, like, a really good day. And, like, when I'm 144, I'm like, yeah, I'm like, I'm gaining weight. This is tea. I weighed 152.

[Josiah]

Like, actually, yeah, that's 12 pounds of poop.

[Anya]

12 pounds of Wingstop babe. I did out. I did out a tinder worth of.

[Kai]

Turds out of my butt as a chicken tender. And I was like, oh, that's, like, a pretty good amount of poo to come out. And he said, no, that's the total. He described the measurement unit as a chicken tender.

[Josiah]

It's like.

[Anya]

It's like, the volume of it. Like, they're. They come out as little marble.

[Josiah]

Filet. Chicken tender.

[Anya]

A wing. Stop.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay, okay, that's better.

[Anya]

Yeah, but, like, no. Like, a dinky one, not, like, a big, girthy one. Like.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, when they accidentally throw in, and you're like, oh, my God, they were being nice.

[Anya]

Tiniest tender or it's like they give you a giant second tender and then a tiny third tender. But, like, bitch, I. It's. It's really over for me. But the pain has stopped. Over here, but it's still going on up here.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, I guess I'm taking you.

[Anya]

I have toxic mega colon. I've been claiming that I have toxic.

[Josiah]

Mega colon is the best title for like a disease or like condition they've ever come up.

[Anya]

It's literally when your colon.

[Drew Phillips]

That should be a drag name. No, Toxamelic.

[Josiah]

Could you pull this off?

[Drew Phillips]

Well, I can't say it.

[Anya]

It's so iconic. Your colon gets so big that that it like can't go back down and then the just falls out of your body.

[Drew Phillips]

Well, a reason why I've been thinking my hex is back to being activated is because I've been getting really embarrassed at the gym recently. And one of the things that happened is I was leaving the shower and I. When I leave the shower, I literally just leave it butt naked. Nasty. Because I'm like, I'm just going to go to my locker and put my clothes on. Well, when I was walking out my.

[Anya]

Back girls each other naked.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, we play and stuff.

[Anya]

Okay. I was going to ask that.

[Drew Phillips]

And we don't have a sauna room. We have like a slip and slide and we all push each other around.

[Anya]

With your boobs out. Damn.

[Drew Phillips]

We only push by the boobs.

[Anya]

Her period.

[Drew Phillips]

When I was leaving the shower the other day, I have this like drunk elephant zip bag that I got in PR once that's kind of like a little briefcase with a zip. And I didn't zip it all the hallway and I walked out into the hallway and everything. I have like 40 random pieces of in that bag. Everything dropped on the floor, exploded and shot across and around the locker room. So I had to embarrassingly run and grab a towel and half, like, cover myself to try and pick everything up. And then a girl came and started to help me because she felt bad for me. And because I was carrying everything, my towel kept falling. So this girl basically just watched me scrounge around the floor of naked and grabbing things and kept being like, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. So sorry. I'm so sorry. Like, you don't have to help. And we had a back and forth like that for three minutes straight.

[Anya]

And I don't believe in apology.

[Josiah]

So sad.

[Drew Phillips]

And then when we were walking to our car, I saw her again. So she saw me also. It was right when I was telling Drew what happened. And I think she heard me. So that was embarrassing.

[Kai]

I think women apologize too much.

[Anya]

Straight up, Kai, I'm with you on that. Oh, I'm with you on that too. Yeah.

[Kai]

Weirdly, me and Drew also so agree.

[Josiah]

I feel like cats should also be able to vote.

[Anya]

No, not just dogs. Cats are very conservative.

[Drew Phillips]

My distinct.

[Anya]

They are dogs are different level.

[Drew Phillips]

That's scaring me.

[Anya]

Dogs are liberal. Cats are conservative.

[Drew Phillips]

That is not true.

[Kai]

I feel like why Azul's a republican.

[Drew Phillips]

Aul is Democrat. Azul is a liberal goddess. Azul voted early by.

[Kai]

I would go so far as also.

[Drew Phillips]

I said early by ballot. She did vote in.

[Kai]

I would say Aulin. Azul's a libertarian. Honestly.

[Anya]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

Azul has blue eyes and white fur. That is Aryan cat.

[Drew Phillips]

She has some orange tips. Hello.

[Josiah]

Blonde hair.

[Anya]

Oh yeah, you have a republican cat hair.

[Josiah]

So yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

You being sad about liberal is liberal guy. Guys, I swear.

[Josiah]

Loki.

[Drew Phillips]

You know what's the worst part is I'm being so defensive because I know Azul is conservative. Like I know that's a conservative cat.

[Josiah]

But I had a question.

[Anya]

Ya mama.

[Josiah]

No, no, no, no. How would you get away with murder?

[Anya]

How would I get away with murder?

[Josiah]

If you were gonna kill someone.

[Drew Phillips]

I would fucking kill someone and kill myself.

[Josiah]

No, just that's literally the easiest way.

[Drew Phillips]

To get away with murder.

[Josiah]

No, no, that doesn't count.

[Drew Phillips]

You get away with it.

[Josiah]

How would you kill somebody? How would you do it? Just can you say it really quick and how would you get away with it?

[Anya]

Okay, well I know the method that I would dig a hole that is 12ft deep down vertically that only the body can fit into. But it's going down, but I can't smell it. So the surface area is super small. And then put a dead animal carcass on the top of it. So when the dogs hit the scent they see, they dig it up and they see an animal carcass and they're like, oh, this phony ass dog got.

[Josiah]

What's the dog?

[Drew Phillips]

Dog lose its job.

[Anya]

Yes. Let the dog.

[Drew Phillips]

You're going to get the dog fired. Like you already killed someone and now you're going to get the dog.

[Josiah]

I don't give a about give dogs unemployment.

[Anya]

I don't give a about police dogs.

[Josiah]

Exactly. How would you do it?

[Drew Phillips]

I guess where do we stand on like police dogs? Guys, seriously, because we're like pro dogs. But where do we stand with them?

[Anya]

I don't give a about police dogs.

[Drew Phillips]

I feel bad for them. I genuinely feel like police dogs are abused shepherds.

[Josiah]

So that means they're also German. I mean I don't want to say it but like I'm saying it and. Yeah. How would you kill somebody, bitch?

[Drew Phillips]

I wouldn't kill anybody because I'm an angel. I'm not about to say publicly, because what if I do kill someone now? They're just going to have.

[Anya]

Also, I would just bury the bodies in Central park next to the big rock.

[Drew Phillips]

No, I actually. I'm not kidding. I think I genuinely would be the last person to get away with murder. I can't keep a secret or something that I've done in me to save my life. I have admitted to everything I have ever done or pre told someone that I'm going to do something. I quite literally can't. Shut the.

[Josiah]

It's, like, written all over your face.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, I literally. And I feel like I'm a bad liar. Like, if the police came up to me and they were like, you go there.

[Anya]

Came up with that. Y'all did. Did you hear that?

[Drew Phillips]

Huh?

[Anya]

Wear your heart on your sleeve.

[Josiah]

You didn't come up like, that's not.

[Anya]

Enya wears her heart on her sleeve.

[Drew Phillips]

I actually never have sleeves, so that was really good.

[Anya]

Thank you.

[Drew Phillips]

Well, when it's hot, how am I going to wear it on my sleeve? Where's it going, Josiah?

[Anya]

How would you kill someone?

[Josiah]

I kill somebody by really just the vacuum. Big vacuum. Death by vacuum. Or I'd put them in the freezer or something. I really don't know. I kind of want. I was curious to hear yours.

[Anya]

I was like, I feel like mine kind of ate. No.

[Josiah]

Yeah, no, yours.

[Drew Phillips]

Yours ate in a way that I really don't like. Like, I feel like you know something or you've done something.

[Josiah]

Well, no, you just have to think about it because you got to be prepared.

[Anya]

Also, the blood stains in the car. Can't forget about those blood stains in the car.

[Josiah]

What are you talking?

[Drew Phillips]

Like you're saying that's always what gets someone caught, y'all. I. If you want to know where my mental health's been, I've been back to watching a lot of murder stuff. So, yeah, it's like, tell you where I'm at because there was a murder run where I wasn't watching any of that.

[Anya]

Damn. That is a great way to tell where our mental health is.

[Drew Phillips]

No, because I was going to say when I was getting a little better, I was actually. Oh, my God. No, it does. It does say a lot because literally right when I started taking my medicine, I stopped watching murder stuff. But a little before that. Right, right.

[Josiah]

Drew sigh up.

[Anya]

Do say up, Josiah. Sing it.

[Josiah]

But, like, how does it go?

[Anya]

Just any way you want. Lion juice. Little more ju. A little more.

[Josiah]

Like how that girl does it.

[Anya]

Yeah, exactly. Tell me what you need.

[Drew Phillips]

Gotta look alike.

[Josiah]

Deep.

[Drew Phillips]

Deep.

[Josiah]

That's how he sounds.

[Kai]

Touching it. He keeps, like, patting it.

[Drew Phillips]

And order more food on your phone with your ass.

[Anya]

I only have three, y'all.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, okay.

[Anya]

The worst part about COVID is those damn QR menus. Worse than all those people that died. My. I'm allowed to. My grandpa and technically my grandma both died of COVID.

[Drew Phillips]

And your bug.

[Anya]

Yeah, no, my. You killed my bug.

[Drew Phillips]

No, I gave your bug Covid.

[Anya]

She sprayed it with.

[Drew Phillips]

I ate it.

[Kai]

Dude, I have this. Such a good picture of Drew with the bug. I don't know if you guys have seen it, but it's really good.

[Anya]

We'll insert it right now. We'll insert it.

[Josiah]

Uber drivers just Drew with the bug for Halloween.

[Anya]

Oh, T. My Uber driver just said he's his own boss. No one controls him. Make a left right now. So in a polyamorous relationship, who sits in the back seat that actually is up? I'm not sitting in the back seat.

[Josiah]

Drew, you love sitting in the back.

[Anya]

That is true.

[Kai]

You rotate in a polyamorous. I know that.

[Josiah]

Also, did I tell you that my Uber. I told you guys that my Uber driver was trying to kill me the other night?

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

Yes, I was Ubering to LA because my car was getting fucking chewed up by rats. But no, he was also maybe schizoaffective.

[Anya]

Yeah, he was trying to kill.

[Josiah]

He was telling me, talking about how. Because he was like, I live in la. And I was like, oh, is this, like, your last drive of the night, then? And he was like, no, I got, like, 12 more hours. And I was like, oh, night shift? And he was like, no, I've been working since, like, 9, 10am And I was like. And he. And I didn't even ask. And he was just like, yeah, I try to work, like, 24, 32 hours shifts. And I was like, driving.

[Drew Phillips]

That's, like, the last job you should be doing for doctors. They make pilots do that. And that's why so many planes go down. It's always because of pilot air. And that's why a lot of pilots.

[Josiah]

Because they don't strike money on there.

[Anya]

And, yeah, that's how airlines save money, because they don't hire editors for their videos.

[Josiah]

This was telling me. I was like, do you have insomnia? He was like, yeah. He was like, I don't know. He was like, I'm just, like, super paranoid. And then started going on this whole long tangent about how, like, he was, like, pointing at the lights outside the window. He was like, have you noticed these lights have been off lately in la? And, like, kept looking back.

[Anya]

That's me. I was like, dude, I'm sorry.

[Josiah]

You are crazy. Like, let me out this car. And this was the last 10 minutes. He started talking like this, and I was like, so this is why you've been trying to kill me? And then it made sense why he kept checking the mirror, like, every five seconds. There was nobody there. There was no car there.

[Drew Phillips]

So he just thought he was being followed.

[Josiah]

I don't know. He said it himself. He's paranoid. I mean, I gave him five stars. I tipped him, like, nice.

[Anya]

But I can relate a little bit. I thought that headlights were speaking to me.

[Josiah]

You did for a while.

[Anya]

Yeah. I really. I thought that the left headlight being out was a sign of cars for.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, saying it in the car with me to be like, I feel like I'm gonna die. Like, probably by an accident or something. And I was like, I'm literally driving the car, so that means we would both die.

[Anya]

So I think, like, really, what it was, like, I'll tell you exactly what it was. When I would see a headlight out that side of the car, hit my side of the car and killed me in a past life. That's what was scaring me. And I was just waiting for it to happen in this current life. Might have started something inside me again.

[Drew Phillips]

A crazy person.

[Josiah]

I love you, Drew.

[Anya]

Bye, y'all.

[Drew Phillips]

Dude, I literally can't wait till Drew's 50.

[Josiah]

I know. It's going to be so good.

[Drew Phillips]

All right, well, thank you guys for watching.

[Josiah]

I'm going to have media or no.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, I forgot about that.

[Kai]

I also have media, so don't forget about me.

[Drew Phillips]

Guys, good news is it's 11:40pm no, it's not. Yes, it is.

[Josiah]

Okay, My media. I'll get it over quick. The substance. Seen it twice. Going to see it again in theaters. Love it. I'm sure you guys have already been talking about it still. I mean, I just relistened to that Claire album when we were on the way back from Big sir, and since then, I've been on the kick of it again. It's a really good album.

[Drew Phillips]

It is amazing.

[Josiah]

And Greer's new album that's coming?

[Anya]

Yeah, Greer's coming out with a new album soon.

[Josiah]

Within the month, you'll have something.

[Anya]

That's all they get. That's all they get.

[Josiah]

That's all they get. Something.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm featured.

[Anya]

Mine is. Ladies and gentlemen, we are Floating in Space by Spiritualized. I Can't believe I got to see them perform in person. That's crazy. Crazy. Oh, oh, let me kill myself. I can't do that song because they're a bad person. In God's childlike hands. Lauren Alder, Pluto Bjork. Everyone knows nerd and re Watching Nurse Jackie again. Yeah. Is boom.

[Josiah]

Oh.

[Drew Phillips]

Mine is oh.

[Anya]

Healing Todd, run. Sorry I stole that from you.

[Drew Phillips]

So good. Please read me by the bgs. I've got to see you tonight. Timmy Thomas. You make me feel brand new stylistic. And I rewatched Edward Scissor hands and I think his hands were unnecessary.

[Anya]

That's a blood giving.

[Josiah]

Like, why were his hands made of the blood?

[Anya]

Was not te in that movie. Ridiculous.

[Drew Phillips]

It was ridiculous.

[Anya]

It's a great movie, though.

[Kai]

Oh, guys, in my media is. I've been seeing these, like, really cool videos on Tick Tock. I think they're called edits where I'm like the subject of them and it like flips around and it does like all these cool, like motion graphics types type things and I'm. Anyway, I think they're really cool. I would love to see more. I would love to see more of those.

[Anya]

More edits, please.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, I'm just giving them content. So instead of making edits, if you. They can make edits of us.

[Kai]

Okay. Well, guys, I like it when you do like the slow motion thing where it's fast and then it's slow and I'm kind of like taking off my jacket or something. I actually don't even know if there's a video of that. But yeah, so just keep making those.