Halloween Spooky Ookie Special feat Josiah

Summary

Emergency Intercom: Halloween Spooky Ookie Special feat Josiah Release Date: October 21, 2022

Hosts: Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips
Guest: Josiah
Duration: Approximately 90 minutes

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Introduction: The Late Start

The episode kicks off with Josiah expressing frustration over Drew's tardiness in starting the Halloween special. Josiah shares his irritation about waiting for Drew to unveil his mysterious costume, only to be minorly relieved when Carly bursts in, revealing herself dressed as "Harry Steiner."

Josiah [01:18]: "Well, welcome to this episode of Emergency Intercom. I guess I'm just gonna sit here with this the whole time..."

Carly [02:25]: "It's me, Harry Steiner."

---

Carly's Spooky Childhood Story

The core of the episode revolves around Carly recounting a chilling incident from her childhood in Texas. She narrates the unsettling experience of a construction worker named Bob White who ingratiated himself with her family under the guise of needing help after a supposed accident. Over time, Bob's behavior became increasingly intrusive, culminating in a terrifying home invasion where he watched her mother bathe. Carly describes the harrowing encounter and the subsequent realization of Bob's true, malicious intentions.

Carly [09:55]: "He walked all the way through our house... Watching my mom bathe."

Josiah [20:07]: "That is so scary."

---

Aftermath and Swatting Incident

Following the eerie home invasion story, the conversation shifts to a disturbing event where Carly and her sister were swatted during a live stream. They detail the chaos of police and emergency responders invading their home based on false reports, highlighting the dangerous repercussions of such online trolling.

Carly [33:05]: "We just got swatted. So we were like, dude, that is..."

Josiah [34:18]: "It's so dangerous."

---

Mental Health and Personal Struggles

The hosts delve into personal discussions about mental health, sharing their battles with anxiety and depression. Drew talks about his experience with Zoloft, emphasizing how it has significantly improved his ability to manage intrusive thoughts and anxiety levels.

Drew [50:45]: "Zoloft helps with my anxiety so much. Y' all are jealous."

Josiah reflects on his own tendencies to overanalyze and grapple with self-criticism, while Carly shares her struggle with anhedonia, a condition where she loses pleasure in activities she once enjoyed.

Carly [52:43]: "It's called like, Hidinia... where, like, everything, like, you just don't feel pleasure from anything you, like, typically do."

---

Humorous Banter and Light-Hearted Moments

Interspersed with serious discussions, the episode is filled with the trio's trademark humor. They engage in playful teasing about each other's habits, body image, and awkward social interactions. Topics range from farting and body insecurities to quirky personal anecdotes about eating habits and wardrobe malfunctions.

Drew [37:37]: "I'm confused as to what the society's saying standard is for the puss."

Josiah [43:30]: "I take a picture. You look gorgeous."

They also explore hypothetical scenarios about relationships, surrogacy, and baby planning, all delivered with their characteristic comedic flair.

---

Upcoming Projects and Farewell

Towards the end of the episode, the hosts briefly mention upcoming projects, including Drew and Lucas's new podcast, hinting at future collaborations. The episode concludes with lighthearted farewells, maintaining the show's humorous and irreverent tone.

Drew [87:31]: "Marilyn Monroe. You know that song?"

Carly [90:18]: "Literally kill ourselves if you don't come back here in two weeks."

---

Conclusion

The Halloween Spooky Ookie Special of Emergency Intercom masterfully blends spine-chilling storytelling with candid conversations about mental health and the duo's signature humor. Featuring Josiah as a special guest, the episode offers listeners a diverse mix of scary tales, personal insights, and laughter, making it a memorable entry in the podcast series.

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Notable Quotes:

• Josiah [01:18]: "Well, welcome to this episode of Emergency Intercom. I guess I'm just gonna sit here with this the whole time..."

• Carly [09:55]: "He walked all the way through our house... Watching my mom bathe."

• Drew [50:45]: "Zoloft helps with my anxiety so much. Y' all are jealous."

• Carly [52:43]: "It's called like, Hidinia... where, like, everything, like, you just don't feel pleasure from anything you, like, typically do."

• Drew [37:37]: "I'm confused as to what the society's saying standard is for the puss."

• Carly [90:18]: "Literally kill ourselves if you don't come back here in two weeks."

---

Note: This summary focuses solely on the content-rich segments of the episode, omitting advertisements and non-essential sections to provide a comprehensive overview for those who haven't listened.

Transcript

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and safeway. Now through June 24th. Score hot summer savings and earn four times the points. Look for in store tags on Items like Pepsi 2 liter bottles, poppy prebiotic sodas, all laundry detergent and Kinder's seasoning blend. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event long savings. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in store or online for easy drive up and go pickup or delivery subject to availability restrictions. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details. At Designer Shoe Warehouse, we believe that shoes are an important part of, well.

[Josiah]

Everything from first steps to first dates.

[Drew]

From all nighters to all time personal.

[Carly]

Bests, from building pillow forts to building.

[Drew]

A life for all the big and small moments that make up your whole world.

[Josiah]

DSW is there and we've got just the shoes.

[Drew]

Find a shoe for every you from.

[Josiah]

Brands you love at brag worthy prices.

[Drew]

At your DSW store or dsw dot com.

[Josiah]

All right, well, I'm literally just gonna. I go, I forgot my. Awesome. I love that. Well, we were supposed to start like hours ago, but Drew is still in his room. He's just sitting in his room. And I told him for the past two weeks, I was like, hey, we're not going to be dropping an episode on Halloween. Have your costume, have your costume. And he kept being like, I have it, I have it, I have it. Didn't tell me what his costume was, not once. And he's just sitting in his fucking room. And I'm just sitting here waiting for him to come out so we can start the episode. But I guess it's just gonna be me on this episode because he's. Oh, what is this? Oh, what is that? What? What do you have in there?

[Carly]

I'm on hard.

[Josiah]

Oh, you're. You're just gonna stay hard the whole episode? Oh, my God. Harry Styles, I love.

[Carly]

It's me, Har.

[Josiah]

I'm so excited to have you here.

[Carly]

It's me, Harry Steiner.

[Josiah]

Shouldn't you be at the Kia Forum right now?

[Carly]

I don't know what that is, love.

[Josiah]

You don't know one of the ten shows you.

[Carly]

No.

[Josiah]

Oh, I like that, that you're humble.

[Drew]

Thank you, love.

[Josiah]

Well, welcome to this episode of Emergency Intercom. I guess I'm just gonna sit here with this the whole time just because I feel like it. Like, you know, it does the job. Are you gonna talk in that fucking accent? The whole.

[Carly]

No.

[Josiah]

And I bet you're wondering, okay, what is that little pink thing in that microphone that's just sticking up.

[Carly]

Well, we have a very special guest.

[Josiah]

A very special.

[Carly]

Any guesses?

[Josiah]

Guest. She's loved. She's loved amongst all she.

[Carly]

She's the it girl.

[Josiah]

She brings. Oh.

[Carly]

Oh.

[Josiah]

Oh, my God.

[Drew]

Me and Joker broke up.

[Josiah]

Oh, you know what's awesome is because it's zoomed in. You can barely. Your ass looks crazy.

[Drew]

I know.

[Carly]

These jeans.

[Drew]

I saw it earlier.

[Carly]

I was, like, going to give you.

[Drew]

A compliment, but I was like, I don't know.

[Carly]

It literally looks really fucking good.

[Josiah]

Not your post breakout with Joker. Glow up.

[Drew]

I know you're glowing. Me and Joker broke up.

[Josiah]

These are the three besties who are like, we need a reality show.

[Carly]

We need a podcast.

[Josiah]

We need to be.

[Carly]

If only Styles and Harley Quinn.

[Drew]

Guess who?

[Carly]

Charlie Quinn.

[Josiah]

Oh, Charlie. Poof.

[Drew]

Good night, pudding. Well, all right.

[Josiah]

Well, that's the end of the episode. We decided to have Josiah back because he's a hit. Oh. Do not turn that head in that way.

[Carly]

You're about to be exposed.

[Josiah]

Yeah. Do you want. Do you want to back up so we can look you in your eyes?

[Drew]

It took a while to get this. To get this?

[Carly]

No, to get our ensemble. Wait, the ensemble?

[Drew]

The ensemble? The ensemble.

[Josiah]

Wait, was it the hats? The shoe?

[Drew]

It was the hair.

[Carly]

The shoe. Queen of a new generation. I don't know what it is.

[Drew]

I'm an icon, baby. An institution.

[Josiah]

Okay, so Josie has been here for days on end.

[Carly]

Like, literally days, weeks. And he's still staying. He's got a couple more days in him.

[Josiah]

Yeah. But we do this thing where we have, like, a squad sleepover, which I feel like we've, like, talked about before, but we have sleepovers where the whole squad gets together, and while we were watching our, like, usual, like, YouTube.

[Drew]

Our usual programming.

[Carly]

Yeah, our usual regular scheduled programming. I'm talking to the back of your.

[Josiah]

Witch, and it looks awful. Like, I need to take a picture. You look gorgeous. Though I will say, like, you look very.

[Drew]

I saw myself in the mirror, and I was like, whoa. I look unrecognizable. Like, okay.

[Carly]

I look like.

[Josiah]

The back of your head is ridiculous, ma' am.

[Drew]

Wow.

[Josiah]

Also, this is, like, a real ax.

[Carly]

Because so against it. But I was like, no, you need an ax for the outfit. You have to get an axe. And I was like, axes come dulled. And I was lying.

[Josiah]

Yeah, he fully lied to my face. He was like, axes come fully dulled. And I believed him. But basically, I was just. The videos we were watching, you had something on your ear. Like, it's literally like a big Speck?

[Carly]

No, that's just dust because he hasn't showered in four days.

[Drew]

I showered this morning, and I used your towel. You know that?

[Carly]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

You let him use your nice towel.

[Carly]

Yeah, I know.

[Drew]

I was so surprised. I was like, e shirt once. I was like, are you sure you want me to use that?

[Josiah]

And I know you rubbed that hole.

[Drew]

Oh, no, I did not.

[Carly]

Yeah, you. You better.

[Josiah]

Is it like your hole air dry?

[Drew]

Hmm. Wait, what hole? Which hole?

[Josiah]

Your butthole. What other hole?

[Drew]

Oh, no, I usually. No, I'll use the towel or I'll use a blow dryer.

[Josiah]

Oh, yeah, you spread and spray.

[Drew]

No, actually, usually it, like, grosses me the out to use a towel, so I usually use, like, I'll just grab toilet paper.

[Josiah]

But you should be washing your ass well enough that the towel going on your butt doesn't matter even.

[Drew]

No way. After a shower, no matter.

[Carly]

Wipe your ass with.

[Drew]

No matter how you're done, no matter how long I wash it, it's still to me, I'm like, no, it's gonna have to be toilet paper, because I'm about to. I could end up using on my face. Like, I don't. I can't do it.

[Carly]

That's why there's three towels in a set.

[Drew]

I don't use. I have one towel set, so I don't have sets of things.

[Josiah]

Yeah. I don't use a separate face towel. Like, in my head. Like, my germaphobia stops at me. Like, anything I touch and, like, mess with, like, is clean.

[Drew]

Like your fart.

[Carly]

I don't know why I said that. Like, I literally wipe my ass with my towel and then wipe my face.

[Josiah]

You also, like, have not been using your towels. Do you use your towels? The new ones?

[Drew]

You got the rest of that, right?

[Carly]

I just keep them.

[Josiah]

Go for it, babes.

[Drew]

And then everybody gets, like, the most uncomfortable.

[Carly]

I'm. It's. I'm in a very uncomfortable.

[Drew]

My legs are shaking.

[Josiah]

I'm so comfortable.

[Drew]

Like, look at my legs right now.

[Carly]

Because my. My.

[Josiah]

You can take the shoes off. They're not in frame my chair.

[Drew]

Then it's not going to feel right.

[Josiah]

Okay.

[Carly]

That's.

[Drew]

That's why I've been wearing them for, like. I've been wearing these heels for, like.

[Josiah]

Josie's been five hours for the past four hours.

[Drew]

And also, let me tell you, isn't it crazy?

[Josiah]

I could literally murder both of you. Okay, but what were you going to say?

[Drew]

No. Oh, I was going to say heels hurt. Pretty hurts. Hunger hurts, and I want him. No, no, no. You Know, someone needs to make an.

[Josiah]

Edit of Harley to that.

[Drew]

Someone needs to make a Fiona Apple McDonald's meal. And it's two Big Macs, two large Cokes, two large fries. And you know why? Because hunger hurts. Mic drop.

[Carly]

You ate, like, McDonald's.

[Josiah]

Oh, what the are you saying?

[Carly]

Like, you know when people are like, oh, sishu a. Like, Josiah ate, like, McDonald's.

[Josiah]

What does that mean?

[Carly]

It's just me being very classist.

[Josiah]

Explaining your joke. And the joke is like, oh, I'm just like, I hate poor people. That's like, kind of the, like the butt of the joke. Yeah.

[Drew]

Thumbnail. I just gave you guys a thumbnail.

[Josiah]

You probably blocked both of us, so.

[Drew]

That'S not the thumbnail, but.

[Carly]

Okay, should we just get into this episode?

[Josiah]

Yes, let's really start.

[Drew]

My legs look crazy.

[Carly]

Yesterday I asked Enya and Josiah to write down some spooky, ooky stories from childhood.

[Josiah]

And guess what? I don't have any.

[Drew]

That I told you.

[Carly]

Neither of you bitches wrote them down.

[Josiah]

I know. I was thinking about it today. I was like, oh, what's a scary story? But I think I've told them all. And then, like, other ones that are scary are, like, traumatizing scary.

[Carly]

Yeah, the only one I know which ones you're referencing.

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Carly]

Was.

[Drew]

And I read it to you and you, like, I don't know. Did you register me reading? I said, okay. Stinky dog food story.

[Carly]

Yeah, I don't know what. I was like, it's gotta be something.

[Drew]

No, it's nothing I, like, came up with.

[Carly]

I don't.

[Drew]

I don't have any spooky stories.

[Carly]

Like, okay, well, I'll give you one, and then y' all kind of.

[Josiah]

You have a really good one, and then maybe it'll jog my memory.

[Carly]

Okay, so I have two really good ones. Or three, kind of. Or four. Oh, I got a bunch of good.

[Josiah]

Damn.

[Carly]

Yeah. No, I had a very terrifying childhood. So should I start out with me seeing three people die in a week as, like, a 10, 11, 12 year old? I can't remember what age I was. The home invasion story from back home, the cat killer or us getting swatted?

[Josiah]

The home invasion is the best one.

[Drew]

The cat killer.

[Carly]

So it's a long story. And I'll try to be as brief as possible so y' all can get some fucking words in. Because I don't want to consume this entire episode. But, like, back in Texas, my, like, neighborhood was like, an up and coming neighborhood. So, like, the lot next door to mine was, like, completely Empty. It was like woods forever. I feel like I've told this story before on the podcast.

[Josiah]

I don't think so, because when you mentioned saying it, I was like, is.

[Drew]

Our cut supposed to scar like that or what? Look at that cut. That scarred. Doesn't that look? It's like purple.

[Carly]

Okay. So my neighborhood, the lot next door to my home was empty for so long because it was like an impossible lot to build on. No one wanted to, like, take the feet on because it was like a lot of dirt moving. And that's really fucking expensive, apparently. But, like, eventually, like, after living the house for like 10 or 12 years, they decided to like someone, Some family decided to build on it. So there was like a construction lot next door to my house for, like, years because it was a really big project.

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Carly]

And I remember, like, playing in their, like, wooden house and shit was really cute. But, uh, my, like, with a construction site so close to your home, there's obvious. My parents obviously got close to some of like, the construction workers on the site because, like, they would, like, see.

[Josiah]

Them like every day.

[Carly]

Yeah, they see them every day. My dad would, like, bring them meals and stuff every once in a while and, like, bring them water or whatever.

[Josiah]

I'm fixing it.

[Carly]

But so my dad basically met everybody on the lot. Same with my mom. And then one day, this random guy that my dad and mom had, I.

[Josiah]

Went to your construction site and nobody know who you knew who you were. Whoa.

[Carly]

What was that reaction, girl? I don't know. I really don't know.

[Drew]

Like, that was the definition of I'm in the middle of a story and someone just said something. Let me come up with something quick, bitch.

[Carly]

Yeah, so, okay, so this random ass dude came over to my house and was like, really, really frantic. And he was like, I. I don't know what to do. Like, the helicopter just came. Like, someone chopped off their arm with a buzz saw in the backyard. Like, I don't know what the to do. I'm freaking out. Like, can you help me? Like, I'm freaking out. Like, someone cut their arm off with a buzz saw in the backyard. And my dad was like, one. Who are. Who are you two? My wife was home all day. She would have heard a helicopter land. Where the is gonna a helicopter gonna land? You've seen my house. Like, a helicopter is not gonna land anywhere around there. But my dad was like, okay, I mean, I guess you can, like, hang out here for a little bit. And then like, my dad, like, brought him a beer because he was really frantic. And freaking the fuck out. And he just chilled in the backyard, whatever. They, like, hung out for a little bit. No problem. No problems. Then my dad just kind of believed it and was like, okay, whatever. And then, like, every once in a while, this dude, since it was like a very long project, this dude would come to, like, our house every once in a while to just, like, hang out. And my dad and him became, like, really close. And, like, it was like, my parents were so comfortable around him that, like, me and my sister would, like, go swimming with him in our pool and, like, we would hang out with him. Like, we met him. Like, we were really friendly with him. He was really friendly with us. It was like, he was, like, a really nice guy. I remember it was, like, really just, like a chill situation all around. And, like, some time passes, like, the relationship develops a little bit more. And, like, whatever. Like. Like we invite him over for dinner and shit. And it's just, like, it's a nice person to have around. Like, when he's, like, working all day, like, we let him come over, like, hang out, like, yeah, just, like, have dinner with our family. And then he randomly, like, disappears. Like. Like in thin air. Like, he stops coming around. We have no idea where the fuck he went, like, for weeks and weeks and weeks. And my dad was like, where the fuck did this guy go? Like, did he get fired or what? And, like, he's gotten close to our family, so we were like, oh. Like, my dad was like, oh, let me go ask, like, the construction yard if they know, like, where Bob White went. Because he went by the name Bob White. And they went over, which is also.

[Josiah]

Like, false name number one.

[Carly]

Just wait. Just wait. It gets it. Where he got the name is fucking crazy. But basically, he. My dad went over and was like, yo, where's, like, Bob White? Like, he was, like, really friendly. I'm just curious. I'm just wondering if he's okay. Like, kind of miss him around here. He's, like, a nice person to have around. And they were like, a Bob White. Like, who the fuck is that? We've never met a Bob White in our entire life. Like, let alone working on our fucking, like, our site. Our site. Like, yeah, of course. Like, no, we don't know where the fuck he went. My dad was like, huh, that's weird. I wonder if, like, they just forgot about him or something. But, like, it was a small crew, very weird first encounter. Whatever, whatever, whatever. Well, then, like, a couple weeks passed, and, like, my parents are just, like, noticing, like, weird things around the house. Like, like we'll go. Like they'll get home from. I'm getting like full body chills. Like we'll get home from like work and like. Or my dad will get home from work. Like it's really late at night and like the refrigerator in the garage will be like wide open. And my dad like would yell at me and my sister for like getting sodas and not opening or shutting the refrigerator. And like, just like random cabinets in our house would be wide open in the middle of the night. Like random cabinets in our garage would be open in the middle of the night. Like, just weird shit like that.

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Carly]

And like, my dad would yell at me and I'd be like, yo, what the fuck? Like, why is all this shit happening? And then it like escalated and like shit in our kitchen would be open. And like it was just like weird little things like that. Like things like out of place, like put into different places. And my dad was just like kind of freaked out, but like also didn't think about it much because he thought it was us, like, whatever. And then like there would be like weird, like, I don't know, just like, just shits out of place.

[Josiah]

Just like. Yeah.

[Carly]

And then like, I don't know how to transition this into the climax of the story without like giving it all away. So I'm just gonna like kind of go all in and like word vomit. But like, basically, um. Like my dad is asleep one night or goes to sleep one night. Hear some sounds. Doesn't think anything of it. Like outside because he had like a door connecting to the backyard.

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Carly]

And he like hear some sounds out there. He thought like, maybe it was some animals. But like, we're in like a suburban neighborhood. Like we don't get like big ass animals. And he was like. It was like a big sound. My mom heard it too. She was like, what the fuck was that? Like that was a big fucking sound. Whatever. My dad and mom go to sleep that night and they wake up the next morning like nothing happened. Like they're just like going about their day, like, whatever. And then like my dad normally is like getting ready for work by now, but he's like feeling really sick and under the weather. Like he's not feeling really well. So he decides to stay home. And my mom like every morning goes into her bathroom and like takes a bath. And me and Madeline had like already been like dropped off at school, so we're like out of the house. My dad stays home from work. He's already normally gone by now. And they're just, like, enjoying their morning as they normally would, like, with my dad home from work and my dad literally in, like, my entire life, I have never seen him miss a day of work. I've never seen him sleep in once for a day of work. I've never seen him miss a day of work. Just, like, a very, very rare, like, thing to happen. And my dad, like, just chugged some nyquil and, like, tries to go back to sleep because he's, like, sick. He, like, doesn't feel very well.

[Josiah]

He actually was the first person with COVID which.

[Carly]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was really.

[Drew]

There was nothing.

[Carly]

Yeah, he was station zero.

[Josiah]

There was nothing that could be done about it.

[Drew]

Yeah, because this was when you were a kid.

[Carly]

That's what we're saying.

[Josiah]

Yeah. Like, he got it and, like, cured himself and like everybody else just, like, didn't.

[Carly]

And that's why vaccines aren't real.

[Drew]

From the penis.

[Josiah]

No, wait. Two thing. It's the peanut fact.

[Carly]

Oh, no. Work the peanut factory for me. Enough from the peanut.

[Josiah]

It's enough from the peanut factory. What'd you say about the vaccine?

[Carly]

That they're very real and very potent, and everybody should get one.

[Josiah]

They're potent. Wait, why did I get the potent batch? How did I get the potent Pfizer? Okay, get. Keep going.

[Drew]

Are you tapping me?

[Carly]

So my dad's, like, knocked the out of bed. My mom is in the bathtub, and she gets, like, a call from a friend on her cell phone, and she's like, yo. Like, there's, like, this random man, like, standing outside of your bathroom window, like, looking in. And it was like, our. One of our friends. And my mom was like, what the fuck? And she, like, opens the window, and she looks out, and she doesn't see anybody. And she's like, no, there's not. Like, whatever. And then she's like, oh, I could have sworn I saw someone when I passed by. It must have been, like, a tree stump or something. And my mom's like, okay, yeah, like, whatever. Like, she didn't think anything of it. She just thought her friend was just, like, looking out for her.

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Carly]

And then, like, my mom continues taking her bath and my dad fully asleep, like, this random fucking man, Bob White, at this point, had entered our garage, grabbed a beer, chugged a beer, grabbed another one, chugged another one, and grabbed a third beer and walked all the way through our house. He. It's. It's the craziest thing. He walked all the way through our house, and my mom had, like, a A curtain to the bathroom. And this man was just watching my mom bathe for, like, God knows how long, and God knows what he was going to do to my mom. And then my dad rose out of bed and was like, bob, what the are you doing in my house? Like, why are you watching my mom bathe? And, like, I get, like, full body chills. It's like, the most terrifying thing. And then he just sprinted out of the house. And my parents, like, called the cops. And, like, basically, this man had, like, such a gnarly record. He had, like, child abuse charges. He had, like, R word charges, sexual assault charges. And he had been in and out of jail his entire life. And, like, you can look all this just, like, lies. Yeah, he lied. Yeah.

[Josiah]

Dude, that is so scary.

[Carly]

He went to jail. And you know how he got the garage code to get into our house? One of the days he just looked over my dad's shoulder and, like, got the code to the garage. And that's how he was, like, able to get into our house and steal little things and, like.

[Josiah]

And that's why you shouldn't trust anybody or make new friends, because everybody's crazy.

[Carly]

It's even more creepy when you remember that, like, he was swimming with my sister and I and, like. Yeah. And my sister was, like, in her bathing suit. It's just so weird. And the craziest part is his name, Bob White, is a street like, three or four blocks away from our house that, like, he just made up on the way to our house.

[Josiah]

And, like, damn. Like, he is really.

[Drew]

It's called Bob White?

[Josiah]

Yeah, he's really working on the Fly.

[Carly]

Bob street and White street, and it's a crossroad. He was like, bob White. Isn't that crazy?

[Josiah]

Okay, those street names, maybe you deserved it for living that close to the streets because, oh, I live off Bob and White.

[Carly]

I told that story so terribly. But, like, whatever. Like, that is actually insane.

[Josiah]

I don't have anything like that one time, a man who was on the run was in our backyard.

[Carly]

He's still in prison, by the way.

[Drew]

I went to prison.

[Carly]

Yeah, he's still in prison. Do you know his real name? He called literally Free Bob Wyatt. Yep. And he called our house, like, every single time he could get, like, a. Like, a prison call. He called us every single time.

[Josiah]

And, like, that, like, shouldn't be allowed.

[Drew]

He didn't have anybody.

[Carly]

It was crazy.

[Josiah]

Yeah, right?

[Carly]

He.

[Josiah]

He just had them, and they him.

[Drew]

That at least you guys gave him some beer and a good time. And, you know, probably Gave him story. A story to tell.

[Carly]

He was probably going to murder my mother.

[Josiah]

I mean, okay, but he maybe not. Yeah, he didn't.

[Carly]

We don't know. If my dad wasn't home, he could have murdered my mother.

[Josiah]

Maybe your mom should like, I was at school.

[Drew]

Oh, at school.

[Josiah]

Yeah. How old were you?

[Carly]

It was like seven.

[Josiah]

Yeah, you should have been busy being the man of the house.

[Carly]

Yeah, you should have been busy if.

[Josiah]

You want your mom to be so safe. Why aren't you home?

[Drew]

Why aren't you guarding the bathroom door?

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

And take you a peek for yourself? Because that's what I would do.

[Carly]

Oh, what the fuck?

[Drew]

You are actually like messed up in the head. And I don't know if it's this whole costume that's got you feeling like very sexual energy. Yeah.

[Carly]

Weird.

[Drew]

She's been touching my back with the axe.

[Josiah]

Well, that's because I could feel that Your body is radiating like a radioactive dude.

[Carly]

It's about to start getting like cloudy.

[Drew]

Yeah, because it's like a fucking trans people parent also like loudest jacket of the year award. Like, imagine going to a movie theater.

[Josiah]

Why would you.

[Carly]

I had one of these jackets. Press play tour. And yet do you remember my clear trench coat choices? Choices were made. Choices were made.

[Josiah]

Yeah, I. My only scary story involves somebody who. That I still fear. And like, you know what I'm talking about.

[Carly]

Yeah, that's the thing.

[Drew]

All my stories I like can't tell because it's like people in my family and where I'm like, fucking, they found out about this, they might kill me.

[Josiah]

Yeah. Like, it's like all stories that I'm like, oh, you like scare me. And I feel like you would like.

[Carly]

Actually, you're still keeping up.

[Drew]

I've told you about the death predictions, right?

[Carly]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

What?

[Drew]

No, from my uncle. I can't really. My unc, he like predicted like several deaths in my family, like day of.

[Josiah]

Like, we need a private investigator stats.

[Drew]

Oh, we tried. There was nothing.

[Josiah]

I talk about.

[Carly]

He's not joking.

[Josiah]

Well, that's good that there was nothing.

[Drew]

He's spiritual.

[Josiah]

Well, I like just saying that I'm going to die before I leave the house because then if I do, it's like you with earthquakes. It's like, oh, my God, she told me that.

[Carly]

I said that before. I've said that before.

[Josiah]

And every time I walk out of the house, I convince myself that I'm gonna die.

[Carly]

And I'm like, damn, like this.

[Drew]

But you're asking for death when you do that.

[Josiah]

I'm actually I, I. I am asking.

[Carly]

For death when I do that.

[Josiah]

Oh, my God. Hey, don't bring that here next time I.

[Drew]

Come on. We need to get a better setup because I, like, can't have a conversation with you guys because I have to.

[Josiah]

Like, maybe you should just turn and show them the back.

[Drew]

Yeah, because that's the thing. I'm not turning to show the back of my wig.

[Josiah]

Well, one day we'll have a big studio where we can see your beautiful little face.

[Drew]

If you guys get a big studio.

[Carly]

Yeah, no one's gonna watch anymore.

[Drew]

There was this girl named. What was her name?

[Josiah]

Tammy Faye?

[Drew]

No, it was Ruth. She would. She would draw on my back during math. During, like, I think it was, like, pre algebra or something. It was, like, eighth grade. And she would draw on my back and be like, can you tell what it is? And I was like, get the away from me.

[Josiah]

Okay, I'm sorry, but that is, like, so, like, weird. Like, no, it's so advanced for, like, somebody to be doing that. Like, I'm like, okay, I'm taking notes.

[Carly]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

Like, a chair.

[Drew]

She literally, like, no, it was so uncomfortable.

[Carly]

Penis. Over and over.

[Josiah]

So you got into a fistfight with her?

[Drew]

No, but she did get a fucking. She hit a kid with her car.

[Josiah]

Okay.

[Drew]

Like, two years later. And left my friend Emily to, like, clean up the mess. And she was just like, I don't know what to do. And just drove away. And Emily was like, not Emily, the.

[Carly]

One y' all know.

[Drew]

It's Emily Molina. No, no, different Emily. And Emily was like, what the fuck am I supposed to do here? Like, the kid was like, I think the kid was bleeding. I don't know.

[Carly]

But. Well, she got her car admitted to, like, a crime.

[Drew]

I didn't. I wasn't there.

[Josiah]

Well, in seventh grade, the guy had a crush on. Ran into a parked car when he was playing football.

[Carly]

And.

[Josiah]

And then every time we would get into an argument in our fight, like, in our relationship, I'd be like, oh, I'm the dumb one, bitch. You ran into a fucking parked car, you dumb person on the planet who's ever gotten hit by a parked car?

[Carly]

Damn.

[Josiah]

I was in seventh grade.

[Drew]

And that was your boy toy?

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Drew]

And y' all had fights?

[Josiah]

Of course, because he wanted to, like, do s with me. And I was like, we're literally in seventh grade. What the fuck is happening? Like, it was a mess.

[Carly]

Yeah. That's messy Stories.

[Josiah]

I think I've told, like, the girl who did Bloody Mary and then ran away and then me getting, like, Scared me I was going to die, dude.

[Carly]

Yeah.

[Drew]

I can't talk about stuff you.

[Carly]

You really can't talk about.

[Drew]

I really can.

[Carly]

From what I know. You really cannot talk about stuff I can't talk about.

[Drew]

Like. Oh, like, everything from, like, family is like. Let me tell you something though. Hold on here. Let's talk about this. Yeah, here I go. Did I tell you guys about the person impersonating my mother on Tik Tok?

[Josiah]

Dude, this is going to like, recently, like, spike them up. They're going to be like, I'm going to keep going.

[Drew]

Oh, I don't care.

[Josiah]

Okay, but keep. So go in.

[Drew]

They basically, they were just like, following my, like, sister's friends and shit and, like, commenting on my stuff, commenting on my sister stuff. Being like, so proud of you, son. I was like, you are crazy. And it was like, me, my mom and my sister in my bedroom. And my sister Grace was like, mom, why are you following Carly? Like, is the Grace's friend. She's like, why did you just follow her? And my mom was like, I didn't like, what the fuck are you talking about? And I knew immediately because this person's been like, posting stuff, being like, I know his last name and I know, like, his, like, where his. And in the bio of the account, it was like, where my mom works, like, her name. And I was like, that is too far too much.

[Josiah]

I remember one time, and I really hope this doesn't like, make anybody think that this is okay to go and do. I would like to think people know this is not okay. But one time somebody found my birth mother's information. And like, that's crazy. Oh, that has to do with the scary story, though. But that kind of behavior, when I see that, I'm like, okay, you freak. Especially now because I'm like, okay, like, I will never see her again. So, like, keep that in mind.

[Drew]

And I went online. I went on live because I didn't want to, because to DM someone on Tik Tok, you got to follow them. And I didn't want to follow this person. So I went on live because I knew they'd come and I was. And I knew they'd. I was screaming.

[Carly]

What do you mean by that?

[Drew]

I wasn't screaming. I was pissed.

[Josiah]

Violation of privacy.

[Drew]

But it really is, especially with me too, because it's like, if my mom is like a common character, my videos, like, if someone did that about Pam, it wouldn't be as. It'd still be weird. But, like, people know who Pam is, you know, like, it's a common character and like, YouTube videos and shit. But my family is, like, completely private.

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Like, everything other than, like, the shit I post on my page is private.

[Josiah]

I mean, I think that's why, like, all of us have made steps to, like, making our life, like, more private. Because it's just like, that people, like, have no boundaries.

[Drew]

I know.

[Carly]

Ends up a can of worms.

[Josiah]

Well, how did I, like, bring up my mom? When we were watching X just now.

[Drew]

You said that the song Landslide reminded you of her.

[Josiah]

Oh, yeah. And then Josh and Lucas laughed. I was like, oh, it's funny because I'm never going to see her again. And I don't even remember what her voice sounds like. And it's really, like, actually fucked up for me. Yeah, that's funny.

[Drew]

And then I said, that song reminds me of your mom too.

[Josiah]

And why did you say that?

[Drew]

Because I banged her.

[Josiah]

Oh, my God. Dude, this house has been a nightmare for the past four days. It's literally just been the whole crew, like, rotting away playing Fortnite. We are going to play Fortnite though, because I have not played Fortnite to get.

[Drew]

Did you update on your Xbox?

[Josiah]

No.

[Drew]

Oh, and you're dumb. Oh, and you're done.

[Josiah]

Did it take a while?

[Carly]

Yeah, it took a while.

[Drew]

It's gonna be late. Can you go do it right now? Like, how bad would it be to just go going? But like, Fortnite podcast. Fortnite podcast Fortnite.

[Carly]

But like piggybacking off of like, your yalls last stories about like, your parents being impersonated by freaks on the Internet. Me, I don't think I've ever told this because, like, it still scares the out of me to this day. Like, it's still.

[Josiah]

That's literally why most of my serious stories I can't say because I'm like, I'm still fearful of this happening.

[Carly]

It's not like I'm fearful of even.

[Josiah]

Though not saying it won't stop it from happening.

[Carly]

Yeah, I'm not fearful of, like, a particular person or entity. I'm just, like, fearful of this event happening again because it's a very common occurrence with like, people, like, in our position. But like, me and my sister would like, go live like before. Like I did YouTube. Yeah. Like on youn Now. Me and my twin sister, we would go live like, all the fudgeing time. She went live every day for like an entire year straight. And she was like one of the.

[Josiah]

First people get a fucking job or something.

[Carly]

Yeah, that was her job. But like, she would, like, one. She would even do, like, 24 hour live streams. Like, before she did a 24 hour. She would do that. She did them several Mr. Beast take notes, literally. And, like, she just, like, had a really big following on there. And, like, I would just kind of do it as well. And, like, it was just a fun thing for us when we were bored as after school. Just, like, go live on you now. And, like, my sister was, like, doing, like, a celebration pod or celebration live stream for, like, hitting, like, a certain amount of followers or something. So she was, like, live, like, blowing up fireworks, like, baking cakes, like, whatever. Just, like, random, like, kid, like, whatever. Because we were really young.

[Drew]

Did you say fireworks?

[Josiah]

Yeah, she was not. Her adding production.

[Drew]

I'm gonna set a firework off in the house.

[Carly]

Yeah, no, she. We would. We went out front and we would, like, blow up cakes and shit in this live stream. It was really fun. But she was, like. It was, like, getting to the end of her broadcast and, like, one of the people that, like, watched her very regularly, like, was kind of, like, not chill. I don't know. Just like, they. They had, like, rapport and, like, a friendship in a relationship. But, like, they definitely, like, overstepped boundaries sometimes. And, like, it was just like, they felt, like, way too, like, comfortable with my sister, I guess, is what it was. Like, it was like a very early parasocial relationship because she was, like, live every day. They felt like they were friends with each other, whatever, but my sister was live. And, like, all of a sudden, like, we get, like, a pizza delivered to our door, and we're like, oh, that's weird. We didn't order a pizza. Like, that's weird as fuck. Like, okay, but we'll take it. We'll pay for it. Y' all made the pizza. You delivered it. We feel bad. Like, yeah, we'll take the pizza. And then another pizza gets delivered to the door. And like, we're like, okay, this is weird, but we'll pay for this pizza. Like, not the biggest deal in the world. And then, like, an order comes in with, like, two pizzas. And then we're like, okay, we'll pay for these pizzas as well. But, like, damn. Like, we called Domino's. And we were like, yo, stop delivering us pizza.

[Josiah]

Somebody is hungry.

[Carly]

Yeah, literally. They were probably like, damn, bitch. Like, why are y' all ordering so much fucking pizza? But we call Domino's. And we're like, don't deliver us any more pizzas. And then Papa John's delivers us, like, eight Pizzas. And we're like, I'm sorry, like you complain about that. One cannot pay for this. Like just like don't deliver us pizzas. So we like have like we go through and call all of the pizza restaurants in our town and just tell them like, look, someone got our address or trolling us. Like they're delivering us pizzas. We don't want pizzas. It was silent for like maybe two hours, maybe an hour. And then all of a sudden like we see like a bunch of fucking police cars racing down the street and slamming on their brakes out front of our house. Like three fire trucks, which is like all of our city's fire trucks and.

[Josiah]

All of our volunteer fire trucks.

[Carly]

Yeah, exactly. And all of the police officers. All of the police officers in our town. And like just like so many, like, like first responders, like three ambulances. It was like the craziest thing in the world. And we're like, what the is going on? And then we realized, oh my God, we just got swatted. And all of a sudden we hear like banging at our front door. And like I forget what they had told the police, but they said like someone was erratic and there was a, they like called like several times saying someone was erratic and going to endanger themselves and their family. Someone is like dying actively. And they said there's an electrical fire in our house. And like they basically swatted us on livestream. And like I answered the door because I was like, what the is going on? And Madeline was on live and she really didn't know what was happening. And I was like, they were like, is everybody okay inside? And I was like, yeah, like we're fine. What's going on? They were like, someone said like blah, blah, blah, blah blah blah. And I was like, no, we're like just getting, we're just eating pizza and on live. And we were like, oh my God, like someone swatted us. So we were like, dude, that is.

[Josiah]

Such just like insane behavior. And also it's so dangerous.

[Carly]

It's so dangerous also having to explain that to like a so small ass town.

[Drew]

Small town.

[Carly]

Also like six years ago before like swatting was even really like a thing yet like do you think now there's.

[Josiah]

Almost like a protocol like that, like a lot of like people go through like oh, but that, dude, that just sucks. Cuz then what if you like actually needed that?

[Carly]

I, I, I actually doubt there is a protocol. I bet they respond.

[Drew]

I feel like in LA they, they know. Yeah, in LA and California it's probably like oh, if someone says, like, someone spotted me, they'd be like, oh, okay.

[Carly]

Believe. Yeah. I don't know. But very spooky stuff, right, guys?

[Josiah]

That's never happened to me.

[Drew]

Like, never happened to me.

[Carly]

Me telling that story with a boner. Yeah, you.

[Josiah]

You don't have a boner. You have to have something tucked into your.

[Carly]

No, I'm just.

[Drew]

I'm not.

[Carly]

I'm just.

[Josiah]

Are you packing like that? I didn't know you were packing heat.

[Carly]

Babe, babe, babe.

[Josiah]

Your bulge looks so good today.

[Drew]

No one.

[Carly]

It's pretty hard season.

[Drew]

It's pretty hard to get.

[Carly]

Damn, I stink.

[Drew]

It's pretty hard to find my address around.

[Carly]

I can't keep catching you looking at my bulge. Both of y' all look. Both of y' all look up and down.

[Josiah]

Well, you pointed it out.

[Carly]

Look at them.

[Josiah]

And you're being a everybody.

[Carly]

I see you looking at it, too.

[Josiah]

What if I literally went like that? Oh, I'm talking to you as a joke. And it actually, like, cut your wiener.

[Drew]

Oh, I'm talking to you.

[Josiah]

Oh. You know a scary story. In seventh grade, when I was talking to my crush, some. One of his friends thought it would be funny to pants him while I was talking to him, and then they accidentally pulled his boxers down and. And that was the first time I saw wiener. And that was terrifying. And when I saw it, I, like, we made eye contact and we never spoke again.

[Drew]

And then.

[Josiah]

I don't want to clap you up. It was sad for him. That's probably his scary story.

[Carly]

That's probably.

[Drew]

Dude, Josh did that to me right in front of.

[Carly]

Humiliated.

[Drew]

Josh did that to me right in front of. Kai was standing at the couch, like, doing a dance to Kaiser, and they're, like, fudgeing with him. And then Josh came up. I went.

[Josiah]

And you were asking for it, though.

[Carly]

Yeah, you're being.

[Drew]

How was I?

[Carly]

You were being a slut.

[Drew]

I was doing the gray sweatpants challenge for, like, a year straight.

[Josiah]

And.

[Carly]

No, I know. I said it to you every time. I was like, josiah, your whole is out in those sweatpants. And you just. You just decided to act surprised every single time we were telling you.

[Josiah]

And I won't call out our other friend who did that, but one time when I went to Big Sur with one of the friends in the group, I literally called it out. So crazy because I was like, dude, you're not wearing underwear. Like, I don't want to see.

[Carly]

Whisper it.

[Drew]

Okay. Yeah, I figured.

[Carly]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's like. But also, he's just like, literally hunt. Like, that's the thing. I'm sorry.

[Josiah]

I was just like, dude, chill. Like, and it just. He was, like, on the car, like, dancing, like, on top of my car in front of all of us, and I was like, I know. I'm not like, come on, get down.

[Carly]

Get.

[Josiah]

Put that.

[Drew]

Put down.

[Carly]

Down.

[Josiah]

Well, yeah, I do that with my big.

[Carly]

Okay.

[Josiah]

I just, like, wear tiny shorts.

[Carly]

I'm like, you're packing some heat down there too.

[Josiah]

I know, but you're bulging.

[Drew]

I'm confused as to what the society's saying standard is for the puss. Do people want a small one or a big one? Because obviously, with the guys, it's pretty straightforward. But is it, like, do people want, like, a big fat. Like, here's my fucking, like, you know, juicy puss, or do they want, like, why do you keep saying teeny, tiny pussy?

[Josiah]

Oh, you thought about the last. You thought about the latter?

[Drew]

No, but I really am confused as to what the society is, like, pressuring.

[Josiah]

Trust me, girl. I would like to know too, because, like, I.

[Drew]

It's, like, unclear.

[Josiah]

I am ashamed of my big, fat watermelon sugar coochie. Like, I have, like, wait.

[Carly]

Harry Styles reference.

[Drew]

Drew, I want to squeeze your nipple so bad.

[Josiah]

I know. I was. That's what I was looking. I was staring at your nipple. I was like, dude, it's literally, like.

[Drew]

Right for the picnic.

[Josiah]

It was rubbing against your.

[Carly]

Against your sexualizing my body.

[Drew]

No, I'm not sexualizing.

[Josiah]

You would look really good with tattoos, though.

[Drew]

Yeah, you would.

[Josiah]

You should get tattoos.

[Drew]

I'm never getting tattoos. I have one.

[Carly]

Why would I put a bumper sticker on a Bentley with. Wait, I came up with this earlier today. I was gonna be like, okay, Howie Mandela effect.

[Drew]

Okay. I was in the car when you came up with that, and I stayed completely silent.

[Carly]

It's like when Howie Mandela develops all time.

[Josiah]

You literally can silence a room.

[Carly]

It's when Howie Mandel develops Alzheimer's. Alzheimer's.

[Josiah]

Alzheimer's.

[Carly]

Yeah. And Alzheimer's. Can't remember any. And he's like, was that my Alzheimer's or the Howie Mandela effect?

[Josiah]

When you said the bumper sticker on a Bentley, I almost made fun of the one tattoo you have, and then I silenced myself very quick. But, like, not because I think it's.

[Carly]

The one I got for my dead brother. The one I got for my dead brother. You want to make fun of that tattoo?

[Drew]

I'm the one you should be scared of.

[Josiah]

Oh, I can't.

[Drew]

Not you, not him, not Mr. J. Me. Cause I'm Harley fucking Quinn. Yeah.

[Josiah]

Dude, this trio pulls up to your Halloween party.

[Carly]

Kick them out.

[Josiah]

Yeah, get rid of them.

[Carly]

Kick them out or kill them. Honestly, either way. Okay, this fact that I fact checked today, because there's no way that's real.

[Drew]

You find it on Uberfax.

[Carly]

No. TikTok Tick tock. Yeah, same thing. Okay. Taylor Swift and Amy Winehouse were both nominated for best Artist of the Year in the same year. Is that not mind bending? That blew my mind.

[Drew]

2007. 2008.

[Carly]

2008.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Carly]

That makes no sense.

[Josiah]

I know what you're saying, because the other day I was watching something about, like, Amy Winehouse, and in my head, she passed, like, way before she actually.

[Drew]

She passed in 2011.

[Josiah]

I know, but, like, in my head, she passed, like, way, like, earlier because, like, my, like, my gauge of that time, like.

[Carly]

I know what you mean. I feel like she died in 2008.

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Carly]

Like, I feel like she was an artist for, like, 10 years.

[Josiah]

Yeah. It feels like she was, like, around for, like, a really long time, but she was, like, really, like, she put.

[Drew]

Her first album out in 2001, I think. 2002. Yeah. She wasn't like, frank, now go.

[Josiah]

Oh, but same. But it's funny that that's the case. But then with Michael Jackson, I'm like, yeah, he died in, like, 2010. Like, I know that. Like, but that's also. I know that because my whole. I was at summer camp and I was sleeping, sat down to watch tv.

[Carly]

We acted like it was like a literal terrorist. Like, it was.

[Josiah]

It was literally like, turn on the tv. Look what's happening.

[Carly]

I mean, I guess it was that deep. Like, he was like, literally more pretty bad guy. Like, he.

[Josiah]

He would have been. He would have been to rending.

[Carly]

I never been with a Betty. Yeah.

[Drew]

If Twitter. Yeah, if he. Okay.

[Josiah]

Oh, Twitter was around.

[Drew]

Twitter was around. And he was not trending because a lot of people knew who he was. Do you know?

[Josiah]

Yes, I like.

[Drew]

Did you watch the documentary?

[Josiah]

Like, literally everybody.

[Drew]

Not everybody.

[Josiah]

Who doesn't know people.

[Drew]

And you know there's other countries.

[Josiah]

Off of your head.

[Drew]

Please don't. Because. Please don't. Because it's carefully placed.

[Josiah]

Yeah, I know. Because I fucking worked on it.

[Drew]

Yeah, I know.

[Josiah]

Makeup by Anya. Styling by Anya.

[Carly]

Wait, tattoos by Drew, though. Though.

[Josiah]

Yeah, we know.

[Carly]

We can tell.

[Josiah]

Oh, yeah, we know.

[Drew]

Tattoo by Drew. You should open up a tattoo shop. Tattoo by Drew.

[Josiah]

No, he should not. What do you say?

[Carly]

I could.

[Drew]

You should.

[Carly]

I feel like I'd be good at.

[Drew]

Tattooing you Would be good.

[Josiah]

I think I could be too. But that's because, like, I think I'd be good.

[Carly]

We just have blind confidence in everything we do and nothing. It never really works or sticks because we have really debilitating ADHD.

[Josiah]

Self. Because now you're just, like, sounding very accusatory of me. Me and my swag.

[Carly]

If you die with your diva cup in, they gotta take it out.

[Josiah]

They gotta take it out and you know what's up. You know what's up, because I'm not alive. They don't have to do this, the pinch method to pull it out. They could just pop that sucker out and suction cup my uterus out of my body.

[Drew]

Are you on your period right now? Are you in the rag? Are you on your rag?

[Josiah]

No. I might be pregnant.

[Drew]

Are you joking?

[Josiah]

No. Yes.

[Carly]

I better die on hard. So I'm showing print in the casket.

[Drew]

Well, just pump it.

[Carly]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

Silicone.

[Drew]

I had a pregnancy scare recently.

[Josiah]

You had a pregnancy scare?

[Drew]

Yep.

[Josiah]

Harley Quinn did.

[Drew]

No.

[Josiah]

Oh, Josiah did.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

Oh, you thought you were pregnant?

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

I like. I like the idea that you even have sex really, like, freaks me out. And I like.

[Drew]

Well, I do, and I have a ton of it.

[Josiah]

Oh, I'm so sure.

[Drew]

I do. Like, you know, I.

[Josiah]

Then show us pictures. Show us videos.

[Drew]

If you do show you video. No. That sounds like you're just trying to convince me to show you videos of me having sex.

[Josiah]

It sounds like you're scared to prove that you don't have sex.

[Drew]

I don't need to prove anything. I think my swag and my confidantio and my confidence.

[Carly]

You saying you have sex in this outfit is, like, really crazy. It really is crazy.

[Drew]

Y' all just need to ask your moms.

[Josiah]

Oh. But back to fat. Wait, what? My mom is dead, bro. My mom died, bro.

[Drew]

Time to use the Ouija board. Are you and Josie.

[Carly]

Yes.

[Josiah]

No. She doesn't just say yes. She said. She gives us a long sentence, and it's like, yes. His wiener is so big. Good. But, yeah, I. I still feel like as a society, we are not. Right. Like, although that there is talks of, like, big coochie being, like, desirable. Aesthetically, I don't think it's considered desirable because anytime I wear jeans where I am showing camel toe, I see everybody take a. Take a peek down a quick look.

[Drew]

At what's happening, including yours truly.

[Carly]

Your fat vagina.

[Drew]

And you called it fat.

[Josiah]

Like, do you hear yourself when you speak?

[Carly]

I don't know what that got me.

[Josiah]

Your fat vagina.

[Carly]

It Got myself off guard.

[Drew]

Can I get a Diet Penis?

[Josiah]

Penis Cola? Who started Diet Penis? Oh, Drew admitted to drinking the Red Bull. Drew drank the Red Bull. Oh, yeah.

[Drew]

If you know about that and listen to this as well. Okay, You're.

[Carly]

No, I did. Okay, actually.

[Josiah]

That's Josie's scary story.

[Drew]

That is my scary story because there's a five minute long video of me sleeping that I found on my fucking phone, Drew. And right now is the time. If you did it, admit it.

[Josiah]

Right now would not be the.

[Carly]

Josiah, look at me in the eyes. Look at me in the eyes. On, God, I did not do it. On fucking everything. I did not. I did not take that fucking video of you. We'll insert a clip of it. It's you fucking recording it. Your eyes open up halfway through.

[Drew]

Because I don't actually want to talk about it because it's actually gonna get me really, really frustrated. Because I feel crazy. I feel insane.

[Josiah]

Well, you're getting into character, love.

[Carly]

Oh.

[Drew]

Oh, I just had a big fart.

[Josiah]

Yeah, fart.

[Drew]

I did. It's gonna. My farts have been stabbing, climbing up.

[Carly]

That jacket right now. I can see it fogging up the bag. Babes.

[Josiah]

Recently, I've been letting out juice and they're loud, and then I have to be like, yeah, fart is like, oh, the other night for squad night, I let out a fucking loud one and everybody was talking. I was like, fuck it. I was so high. And I was like, oh, I'm gonna have to admit to that. But nobody heard it. So I got away with my 2.

[Drew]

Farting at the beginning of a new relationship is such a thrill and such a thrill.

[Josiah]

Such a. I learned. Okay, I know you're joking, but I learned during my first, like, situationship, I will never hide and farting or, like, feel embarrassed about it ever again. And since then, literally everybody I dated, I never was, like, poop shy or pee shy. I. I've never been shy, literally, but I've never post that. Never been poop shy. Because the first time I was seeing someone, we were at an Airbnb and I didn't shit for three days and was just in chronic bloated pain because I, like, refused to shit because it was a small Airbnb and the room was right here and then the bed was right there. Honestly, I should have shit because the bathroom smelled like one big condom latex fiesta and I should have just shit to cover some of that smell.

[Drew]

Were you guys having sex?

[Josiah]

Like, why do I miss that? Like, why do I miss the smell of, like, so many condoms in a. In a bathroom trash can.

[Carly]

Whoa.

[Drew]

I don't know why you missed that. You. I think that's something you got to figure out on your own. But I personally have never been poop shy. I tell. Oh, I'm going to go. I'm going to go tell the bathroom.

[Josiah]

But you are not a woman anymore.

[Drew]

But I. But the thing is, I haven't fart shy. I'm like, you're not a girl fart shot. I was. I was at the beginning of, like, Of. Although. At the beginning of a relationship, I'm like, I don't want to fart in front of you. Like, hold on a second. But I'll let it out secretly. And then I guess.

[Josiah]

Yeah. The first few times, I'm not about to let out, Like, I have to be like, yeah.

[Carly]

Every relationship I've been.

[Josiah]

Oh, wait, what did you say?

[Carly]

In every relationship I've been in, I just, like, have never really cared. I just.

[Josiah]

Every.

[Carly]

What relationship I've been in.

[Josiah]

Girl, you didn't know that holding hands was desirable until three weeks ago.

[Drew]

Let me hold you.

[Josiah]

Did I tell you about that? Did I tell you about that?

[Carly]

Drew, it just doesn't feel right coming from me. Right.

[Drew]

For coming from you. Yeah, no, we hold hands all the time. It feels fine.

[Josiah]

Yeah, but, like, Drew doesn't understand. And, like, does it, or I don't know if he does now.

[Carly]

That's crazy. That.

[Drew]

Okay.

[Josiah]

Okay. But Drew didn't understand. It was asking me why couples hold hands.

[Carly]

That's actually crazy because I was gonna say. Never mind.

[Josiah]

So, like, the stars. Not you getting messages from the stars right now?

[Carly]

Because when I said you're not a girl, bitch, that's just something. That's just something.

[Drew]

Okay, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about, but I love to hold hands. And it's just. It's like a. Like, it's like, come here. You know? Oh, no, I'm not, like, aggressive like that. It's just like.

[Carly]

It's like, literally just when I'm walking next to any of my friends, I'm just like, grab my fucking hand now. Like, just grab it.

[Josiah]

Yeah, but imagine that was someone who. Who you were like.

[Drew]

Who you were like. Yeah.

[Josiah]

Have you ever been. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you have. You've had your heart, like, actually destroyed and crushed.

[Carly]

Shattered, and my walls went right back up, and they have not come down.

[Josiah]

And it was good for you. I think you needed that.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Carly]

Yeah. I needed to be humbled.

[Drew]

I think you need a good heartbreak Be humble. And the good thing is, is that we all had, like, traumatic heartbreaks at a very young age and learned a lot of lessons. Because I look at, like, like, old, like our parents, and. And I'm like, whoa, like, you are going on 50 and you are still in that. And I'm like, also, they don't have.

[Carly]

I. They didn't have iPhones.

[Drew]

That's true. Yeah, that's true.

[Carly]

Or they. They didn't have Grindr. I don't.

[Drew]

They didn't have a Zoloft in therapy. Zoloft is so. For me, it's so good.

[Josiah]

Yeah. I, like, couldn't see myself, like.

[Carly]

But that's a lie to yourself.

[Josiah]

I know you're free. I was gonna say, oh, never, like, with, like, let somebody treat me a certain kind of way again. But, like, yes, the. I would. Like, yes, the. I would. Like, I would literally run me over. Oh.

[Drew]

But I would not.

[Carly]

I would, I would. I couldn't.

[Drew]

I really couldn't because, like, I'm very.

[Carly]

Different, I think, in friendships, but, like, in a relationship, I would let someone actually kill me before I said something.

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Carly]

I mean, even now, like, I don't think I'm very confrontational. I just, like, internalize things. And then I just. I don't even think, Like, I don't think I have, like, the brain capacity to even, like. Like, give certain things, like, more than a second thought. I'm just like, oh, that was just like, whatever. That came from, like, whatever. But, like, like, what happened to me today, like, should have pissed me off because that was weird, weirdo behavior. But I was just like, I actually.

[Josiah]

Don'T give a. I'm very easily like, I. Dude, I am. I am very, like, over analyzing. Like, I'll make a joke to a friend and then sit back and be like, oh, like, I don't think I should have said that to them. But I've started to brush that off because then when I, like, over pick and I'm like, oh, was that, like, not chill? And it makes it more awkward because it's like, I literally couldn't give a.

[Drew]

Because the thing is, that's what, like, Zoloft literally changed my life with that because I was the worst.

[Carly]

Like, I would never think everything, dude, everything.

[Drew]

And I would literally be like, this person hates me, so I'm going to not talk to them for weeks.

[Carly]

Like, I.

[Drew]

Because I would just be, like, horrified and.

[Carly]

Okay, I literally cannot be sitting like this.

[Drew]

And then when I started Zoloft, instead of, like, instead of those intrusive. Thoughts being, like, lasting for, like, days. They would be like 5 minutes, 10 minutes, and then just be like, oh, that's not reality. Like, Zoloft helps with my anxiety so much. Y' all are jealous.

[Josiah]

I'm not. Because I was born, like, very much normal and I don't have those kind of balance.

[Drew]

I think I'll get off of it soonish, though, because, like, I feel really good and, like, I just am not in a place, like, this dark place that I needed to be. I mean, that I.

[Josiah]

Where I needed to be.

[Drew]

No, I needed to be in that dark place to be where I am.

[Josiah]

You know what I will say is I, like, literally, I don't think with age I will stop missing being so sad.

[Drew]

You like being sad, you know, in the moment.

[Josiah]

I don't like it in the moment, but, like, I love, like, I love romanticizing my heartbreaks. I love it, like, literally. Do not play Florence.

[Carly]

When you brought that up, I was like, oh, I'm about to go off. Like, I can feel it, like, inside of me.

[Josiah]

It feels so good, so fun. Like, when I'm driving around and, like, listening to Florence, I'm like, oh, like.

[Carly]

Give me a reason to be sad about something and I will. And I will take it and I will run a mile.

[Josiah]

I will sulk. But I've been really good about not, like, just like, leaning into it too much, but, like, that's a whole other thing.

[Drew]

I didn't know. I didn't know that this became the mental health podcast since last time I've been on here.

[Carly]

Kill yourself. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Josiah]

So much for mental health project and your life and this man.

[Carly]

What was I saying to you in the kitchen earlier? That I was like, I'm gonna save that for the podcast.

[Josiah]

Oh, that you were so, like, debilitatingly sad earlier.

[Carly]

Oh, I had. I have had such an awful, like, off day today. Like, it's like, really hard to describe, but I just woke up. Like, I think it's. I think it's called like, like a Hidinia or a. In Hindi.

[Drew]

Sorry, go ahead.

[Carly]

Hey, Anne. Hidinia. It's, ah, something. It's just like, basically like, where, like, everything, like, you just don't feel pleasure from anything you, like, typically do. Like, when I was reading my book that I was.

[Josiah]

Let me get that wing bot in. Come on, for a session.

[Carly]

Come on.

[Josiah]

Oh, you'll get some blood.

[Carly]

Give me right. Give me right.

[Josiah]

Okay.

[Carly]

But I was pleasuring each other.

[Josiah]

I would pleasure you if you needed it.

[Drew]

Sorry. True.

[Carly]

Thank you, babe. You're the one interrupting.

[Drew]

We were happy.

[Carly]

But no, I. I was just, like, describing, like, dude, like, I'm having. I. I don't know how to. I don't even know what I was gonna say. But basically, I'm just having such an awful day today where, like, for hours, I'll just be like, I hate everything. I hate everyone. I don't want to exist. Like. Like, I had to drag myself into the gym. Like, I. I didn't even do the sauna at the gym because I was just, like, in such a bad mood. Yeah, that's when you know it's bad.

[Drew]

When Drew doesn't do the sauna.

[Carly]

And I was just like. Actually, I was just like, dude, I need to get the out of here and go lay in my bed and rot. And then I tried reading, and I was, like, just boasting about that book, and I was like. I was like, dude, like, this book is so good. I'm loving it. And then I, like, sat down to read, and I was like, this is bringing me no joy. Like. And then the past couple days, like, every song I had listened to, like, has been actually making me, like, physically, like, emotional and reactive, like, in a good way, where I'm like, dude, I haven't liked music in so long. I've, like, been listening to music and actually enjoying it. Ended the day I just, like, turned on the music, and I was like, hopefully this brings me out of it. I just, like, could not stomach. I was just like, this music. So then that's when I was trying to make that new playlist. I was like, I just. I need to make a new playlist. Like, it's just, like, one of my things is, like, when I'm freaking the out, I make a playlist just to listen to, to, like, chill me out. And I just. I've had such just, like, bad day, but, like, I'm kind of out of it now. But, like, when I dropped that goddamn light bulb, it sent me right back in. I was like, I am. Even when.

[Drew]

When we were in the car at Lowe's and we were driving around, I was like, I think he's gonna do it today.

[Carly]

I almost did.

[Josiah]

I know. When I came home, you seemed so sad. But you know what I did? I walked right past you.

[Drew]

See, that's the fear of being friends with you guys. And honestly, everyone we know. I mean, not everyone we know, but, like, everyone here. I'm like, when's. Like, sometimes I just think I'm like, today could be the day, you know?

[Carly]

What? No, we are.

[Drew]

I know it's grim, but, like. No, but. I know, but all it takes is one off day.

[Josiah]

Remember when I was really bad?

[Carly]

Oh, my God, Miss it.

[Josiah]

I was bad.

[Carly]

In the moment. I, like. Like, I knew, like, you were up, but, like, looking back, like, Maya, naive, like, boy brain, like, really did not see, like, the.

[Drew]

Was that in 2018 of, like, 2018.

[Josiah]

The beginning of 2019.

[Drew]

That was when I first met you. And I was like, she's lit.

[Josiah]

Yeah, I know. When we were hanging out, it was so, like, I. I don't think I, like, was, like, showing it, but, like, genuinely, like. It is insane to think what I, like, did with my life at that time. Like, I didn't do anything. Like, I could.

[Carly]

A year of rest and relaxation.

[Josiah]

No, I totally. I actually fully did. Like, I would be awake for, like, four to six hours in a day, and, like, those hours were just to go get a coffee and eat and go right the back to sleep.

[Carly]

Crazy. But you were skinny.

[Josiah]

I know I was, dude.

[Drew]

My, like, my darkness period was so bad, and you guys didn't see me at all for, like, like, five months. Six months.

[Carly]

Yeah, we saw you, like, twice in five months.

[Drew]

And I was completely off social media, too. I wasn't using it at all. I really was considering going to real estate school and just quitting everything because I was like, I can't. I can't stomach this. I literally can't do it. But then, I don't know, something just.

[Josiah]

Just something so random, and it was.

[Drew]

Like, God, you know, it was like God had, like, put his finger in or on me.

[Josiah]

God has smiled on me.

[Drew]

God has put his finger on me and was like, you.

[Josiah]

He put that finger in you.

[Carly]

Dude.

[Josiah]

I heard y' all. You guys doing that, like, last night, and I was like, they were so annoying. Like, you. Josh and Lucas are like, oh.

[Drew]

Because I was going like this. I was doing some dumb. I was like. Like, it was like. It was. Oh, God.

[Carly]

Also, I. I've been going to bed. Super. I'm entering my year in wrestle.

[Drew]

Talk about the chips.

[Carly]

That's what I was gonna talk about, motherfucker. Every single time I've gone to talk about that, you've been like, like, dude, did you heard about my chip story? Like, literally, you butt in right before. I'm going to say, now, go on.

[Drew]

Talk about the chips.

[Carly]

But I'm literally in my rest and relaxation arc. Like, I've been going to bed at, like, 9 or 10. Like, I'm past my bedtime. I'm like, forcing myself to stay awake. And, like, I've been waking up at like, 7am and I have to do it again tomorrow and I'm going to freak the out. But I, I'm in a movie, y' all. I, I, I'm acting in a movie.

[Josiah]

No, you're not.

[Drew]

Hold on.

[Carly]

You didn't get.

[Josiah]

Oh, my God. You were, like, freaking the out.

[Carly]

Why am I white? Passing.

[Drew]

Oh, wait, no.

[Josiah]

I think you might just be white.

[Drew]

I'm Greek.

[Josiah]

You're white. But you're passing the bar of expectations.

[Carly]

I'm an ally.

[Josiah]

Okay?

[Carly]

The chay. An ally.

[Drew]

Why am I a gay ally?

[Josiah]

Why am I a gay alien?

[Drew]

Frankie Grande.

[Josiah]

Be like, okay.

[Drew]

Frankie Grande.

[Josiah]

We have been huge Frankie Grande content connoisseurs for the past five years of our friendship.

[Carly]

It's like our secret little, like, go to thing where, like, we don't bring it to the Internet ever. Because it's like our little thing.

[Drew]

Are you coming up on five years of friendship or.

[Josiah]

I, I was. For us, it's four. Oh, no way. 20. 20.

[Drew]

In, like, mid 20.

[Carly]

Yeah.

[Drew]

We'll be five years and we haven't gotten anything done.

[Carly]

And neither of us have it.

[Josiah]

Why are you saying that? I've had very fulfilling moments in my life.

[Carly]

Look at where we're at.

[Josiah]

Yeah. Keep it. You're in the kitchen set, babe. Yeah. You idiot.

[Drew]

I just mean. I mean. Yeah, I was like, oh, by 22, I'll be a millionaire.

[Josiah]

Oh, well, that's what you get for sitting really high.

[Carly]

You did not just fart.

[Drew]

I did. Let's just. Okay. You didn't get to the chips, by the way.

[Carly]

Okay, I was. You want me to tell it? I went to bed really, really early last night and, like, I fell asleep with my lights on and everything. And, like, whatever. Like, it was, it was a vibe. It was nice. And I was just pineapple salsa. But Josiah, that salsa.

[Josiah]

Josiah brought pineapple salsa from Trader Joe's to our house over a week ago. Talked about it for three days straight. Would not like, we need to eat this.

[Carly]

We need to eat this.

[Josiah]

I was like, oh, my God, it's so good. It's literally the best salsa ever. And then we all got highest and we're sitting in the.

[Carly]

Not me, not me, not me.

[Josiah]

I don't, I don't get so. So that Josie was like, oh, it's the perfect time. Like, I went out and I bought chips for the salsa because I was like, damn, maybe I have some of that salsa. Most mid I've ever had in My life. It literally tastes like if a baby had a bunch of fruit snacks and then ate a tomato and threw up.

[Carly]

Wow, that is incredible.

[Drew]

And you know what?

[Josiah]

Isn't it?

[Drew]

You didn't even try it.

[Carly]

No, I didn't, but, yeah, exactly.

[Josiah]

Yeah, you know what that tastes like.

[Carly]

I know that. I know that taste.

[Drew]

I want to go get it.

[Carly]

But basically, Josiah Kaya, like, woke me up in the middle of the night eating chips loud as outside my door. Like, and he wasn't even trying to wake me up. He was just macking on these chips so hard.

[Josiah]

It was literally, you with your Chipotle today. Came home hungry as. Because there was literally around his bowl, there was rice splattered everywhere.

[Carly]

I never make a mess when I eat. And I, like, I ate and went and laid down and napped, and I came back out, and I was like, damn. I was hungry as.

[Drew]

Because me and Drew. Drew, like, we're talking about going to get food for maybe, like, three hours. Yeah, let's go get food. And we were like, let's get something healthy. And I was like. And Drew said, shake Shack. And I was like, maybe Subway. And then we were like, oh, maybe Chipotle.

[Josiah]

Yes. Health food queen. The idea of health food is literally a scam.

[Carly]

The reason why the only bad ingredient in these foods that we're eating, technically, is palm oil, because it's destroying the earth. Why I'm about to become an eco terrorist.

[Drew]

The reason.

[Josiah]

That's what I'm saying. All of this is going right into a fucking landfill. Keep going.

[Drew]

The reason why I was eating those chips outside your door was because I was really, really, really. I got way too high on accident, which I don't smoke very often. I mean, I guess I have a little bit. Been a little bit more lately, but, like, I don't smoke very often, but I got way too high, and I needed something to eat, so I brought this old pizza box. Box full of chips. I emptied some chips out into it.

[Josiah]

You thought you were eating when you did that? No idea.

[Carly]

You were eating, like, McDonald's and.

[Drew]

Okay. And I put the pineapple salsa in there as well, and I brought it to Josh's room. And because he's a freak about his, like, rug and his couch, and he's.

[Josiah]

Like, okay, he's not a freak about his. He has a very nice and expensive.

[Carly]

I would say he is neurotic about it, but, like, it's warranted.

[Drew]

Yeah, yeah, he does what it is.

[Josiah]

He's like, why invest in something you step on? But, like, I. I digress.

[Drew]

Like, it's basically, I went in there and I was like, yo, can eat this chips and salsa in here. And he was like, no. And we talked about it, deciding if I should for like 15 minutes. And then I was like, you know what? I'm just gonna go right outside your door in the hallway and eat it. And they all had to watch me eat it. And I woke Drew up, I guess. Yeah, I'm feeling like a. Like lacrimose.

[Carly]

What the is that?

[Drew]

I don't know.

[Josiah]

I would up a lacroix right now.

[Drew]

Should we get a Taco Bell after this?

[Carly]

Pamplemouse.

[Josiah]

Yes.

[Carly]

I need a second meal. I need to get big. I need to eat more so I can get big. Like, I want to be like, oh, my God. I want to be an otter or a bear. Oh, I'm about to enter my bear.

[Josiah]

Oh, you mean you're using a grinder, like, esque terms right now?

[Carly]

I want to be a manly man. That's what I want.

[Drew]

Mask. Mask.

[Carly]

Mask for mask.

[Drew]

Mask. Fit gamer.

[Carly]

Should I talk about how I saw three people die in a week?

[Josiah]

I'm convinced that my ass has gotten bigger.

[Drew]

Dude, it's so hot in here.

[Josiah]

I literally almost showed you my butt. Like, I was gonna be like, you would tell me. Like, I don't think my butt's gotten bigger, but I do think going to so many pilates and yoga's classes, my ass.

[Drew]

Can you feel the sweat?

[Carly]

I'm not kidding. I felt that today too, because I did leg days and I, like, looked in the mirror.

[Josiah]

Like, when you were sitting, I was like, you have an ass.

[Carly]

Really?

[Josiah]

Yeah, like, it was like you were, like, sitting on an ass. There's no sweat.

[Drew]

Are you serious there?

[Carly]

Like, to God, radiating off the be. It's like, it's really insane.

[Drew]

How far. How far in are we?

[Josiah]

Oh, we're 15 minutes in.

[Drew]

Dude, your joke. We're at an hour.

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Okay.

[Carly]

I'm going to talk about how I watch three people die in a week, because I really want to tell that. How do I get started?

[Drew]

I watch three people lie in a week.

[Josiah]

Lie. You said die.

[Carly]

Judge Judy.

[Drew]

Judge Judy. Jetson.

[Josiah]

One time in Publix, I was eating baby bottle pop, and it triggered my. Oh, dude. The last time I had a bad eczema breakout was when I had baby bottle pop.

[Drew]

Why do you say baby bottle pop and not baby bottle pop? Why not?

[Josiah]

That's what it's called.

[Drew]

Why not baby bottle pop? You say baby bottle pop.

[Carly]

Josiah called me out for my Weird, like, enunciation. He notices everything. Like, what?

[Drew]

Sorry. I'm a singer.

[Carly]

Oh, okay.

[Josiah]

Whoa.

[Drew]

And a language expert. Okay. Sorry. What the was I saying? Go ahead.

[Carly]

What was I saying?

[Josiah]

Yeah, you saw three people die in a week.

[Carly]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Josiah]

Oh, I think you. You might have because you told the baseball one.

[Carly]

The baseball game one.

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Carly]

I haven't told the basketball game one, though. That was in the same week. Have I told you that one?

[Josiah]

I don't think so.

[Carly]

I was so in my, like, small ass town, there's, like, intramural basketball leagues, which is just, like, a basketball league for, like, people who aren't actually good at basketball. They just want to, like, be healthy and, like, not. Not be sedentary.

[Josiah]

That is so embarrassing. Imagine, like, running around playing basketball. You're, like, not that good at it.

[Drew]

Imagine doing it for fun. How awful would that be, right?

[Carly]

Jesus Christ, girls, look at me.

[Josiah]

Look at me.

[Drew]

Nope.

[Josiah]

Look at me.

[Drew]

Nope. Drew, why don't you.

[Carly]

Oh, I swear to God.

[Josiah]

Don't make me.

[Drew]

Oh, now you're gonna be mean, and now you're gonna be.

[Carly]

That was up for him to call you out. Like, I did not agree with that.

[Drew]

Take it off.

[Josiah]

Look at me. You're nothing. And you're a loser, sir.

[Drew]

You're a loser.

[Carly]

But it was at a basketball game, intermural basketball game. And I was like. However old I was. I don't know how old I was. Damn.

[Josiah]

No one was, like, pressing you.

[Carly]

All. Y' all are asking so many goddamn questions all the time.

[Drew]

No one asked one question.

[Carly]

Whatever. Okay, now you're gaslighting me, but whatever. I was at this basketball game, and they were, like, warming up for the game. It was like. It was like a tournament. So, like, a bunch of people, they were, like, a bunch of games back to back and back. And I was with my babysitter at the time, who was also with me, when I saw the person at the baseball game die a few days later. And I was, like, kind of dolo. Because there were no kids there, because it was, like, a bunch of, like, 20 early 20 year olds. 20 something year olds. So I was, like, basically the only kid there was there. And I was just kind of, like, loitering around, like, hanging out, like, watching them warm up, just, like, being, like, they were all so big. I remember, like, they were all really tall. And I was like, damn, like, y' all are some tall.

[Josiah]

But I saw something about a video about that, about how, like, your perception of, like, older people when you're younger is just like so skewed because literally of your age, like when you were a freshman, you saw seniors and you were like, they look like adults.

[Drew]

And now, now, dude, I know. Now I see like seniors in high school.

[Josiah]

I'm like, you are a child.

[Carly]

What.

[Josiah]

Baby child?

[Drew]

Loser. Loser.

[Josiah]

You are a loser. You should go and get your driver's license or something.

[Carly]

If you're a senior in college or in high school right now, grow up.

[Josiah]

Don't say that to them. Go to prom.

[Carly]

But I was watching these giants, like do layups and I was underneath a goal and this guy was on the opposing team that I was rooting for. And like he was the tallest person on the field. He was probably like 6, 5 or 6, 7. Like he was a really. He was a tall, a big. And like he was like completely normal. Like there. It didn't seem like anything was off with him. It was like completely like just like normal drills, running drills over and over again. And then one time when he went up for a layup, he literally, in midair, right in front of me, had a brain aneurysm. His brain exploded. And his head, I. I literally remember it so viscerally. His head kicked back, back and he fell face first right in front of me at my feet, like, like full force, like after jumping like six feet in the air. And like everybody was like, oh my God, like, what just happened? Did he trip? Did he trip? And he like they rolled him over. He was already dead. Like, you die instantly. And he died at my feet. And like, I remember all the adults in the room like being like, grab his tongue, don't let him swallow his tongue. Like, like, just grab his tongue. Like, don't let him swallow his tongue, like over and over again. And this went on for like seven minutes. And I. He was literally, his head was at my feet like the entire time. And then my babysitter saw me and was like, get the out of here. Like, go to the car. And I got like ushered to the car. And that's the only time I've ever heard him cuss in my entire life was when he was telling me to go to the car.

[Drew]

Who, your dad?

[Carly]

No, my babysitter.

[Drew]

Oh.

[Carly]

I got to the car and listened to A Millie by Lil Wayne over and over and over again so many times that I still to this day remember every single lyric to that song. And I was in that car listening to that song for literally three hours probably. And then I got home and they sat me down, my babysitters, and they were like, we told Your parents. Like, my sister was in the other room because she would. She stayed home and they were like, do you know what death is? And I was like, yeah. And they just like kind of gave me like this talk about death and.

[Drew]

Like, do they have to tell you that, that. How old are you? Do you think that helped you?

[Carly]

Yeah, I. I was like.

[Josiah]

It was good for you to understand.

[Carly]

Yeah, I was like really terrified. I was like, oh my God, you can, you can die at any moment. It was so scary. Yeah, I'm gonna lie to.

[Drew]

I'm gonna lie down on all of them.

[Carly]

Yeah, I'm gonna lie the to my kids and I'll probably kill them.

[Drew]

I need a good one. I need a good person to raise them with me because like, like someone who's a little more like, like. Okay, let's get down to like reality.

[Josiah]

I have to like, find a normal person to have kids with. Like, no. Nobody who's like.

[Drew]

But a normal person who like gets there goose like me any day.

[Carly]

Any. Could you imagine us having a child together? Like, actually the two of you.

[Drew]

I'm sorry, dude, time.

[Josiah]

You're like 30 something. You will be like super lit. But the way you react to frustration now I'm like, oh, you would like.

[Carly]

No, I would.

[Josiah]

You would literally be like the kid who's like my dad. Like, like I. I don't know how he feels.

[Carly]

Yeah, no, it would be so bad.

[Josiah]

We gotta, we gotta get those feelings out.

[Carly]

Will you be my surrogate?

[Josiah]

Probably not.

[Drew]

I'd be your surrogate.

[Carly]

Thanks, babes.

[Drew]

If I could.

[Carly]

No, no, you don't have to carry the baby. You just gotta give me an egg.

[Josiah]

Oh, I would give you an egg.

[Carly]

You would?

[Josiah]

Yeah, I would give you an egg. Her baby's gonna have a wide fucking.

[Carly]

Yeah, her egg. It's gonna be. Damn.

[Drew]

Who wants her egg?

[Carly]

Like, damn.

[Josiah]

I think our baby would be cute though.

[Carly]

We would have a cute baby. Yeah, we're both very cute people. Oh, we're not. I'm not cute. You're cute. I'm like, you're cute.

[Josiah]

No, you're cute.

[Drew]

Don't lie to me.

[Carly]

You're cute.

[Josiah]

You're sexy.

[Carly]

Don't lie to me.

[Josiah]

Yeah, we would have a cute kid.

[Carly]

And then in the same week I saw him.

[Josiah]

Oh, but you and Orion's kid would be tall and slay.

[Carly]

Yeah, we would have a.

[Drew]

No one wants to have a kid with me.

[Josiah]

Oh, hell no. Why.

[Carly]

You don't with blondies, you freak. If you have blonde hair, you're a monster.

[Josiah]

You're Gorgeous. No, I was lying. You were gorgeous, Josiah.

[Carly]

I'm not kidding. I think if we had a child, it would be very cute because you have a nice slim face. I have a giant massive gourd.

[Josiah]

Technically. Like, I feel like I've seen like now people being like. When you're thinking of having kids, it shouldn't be about what the way they're gonna look. I'm sorry, but I don't want to ugly.

[Carly]

I will not have an ugly baby.

[Drew]

I don't want to because also, like, that's just gonna make their life harder.

[Josiah]

And I need my baby to have the easiest life. Like, I need my child to be just like, gorgeous. And when Instagram is tapped into your mind, my baby will be Instagram famous. And I will give my baby an Instagram at the age of three months.

[Carly]

I'm not joking. Part of the reason why I'm working so hard in my 20s is so I can have a very good life for my children when I'm.

[Josiah]

Yeah, no, literally. Isn't it crazy how that's like animal instinct? Because I used to be like, having kids. I don't give a about having a kid and having like, like them, whatever. But now I fully am kick charged into like, dude, I have to like, bust my ass not only for, like, my family that I have now, but so I can, like, build my own family. And then I was thinking the other day, I was like, dude, I need to have a bunch of kids and like, have a big family because I got lucky since I have so many siblings. Like, my, like, kids will have a lot of cousins. But I was like, damn, cuz there are small ass families. Like, there are families that when they get together, it's literally like, like 10 of them. I'm like, just my like, immediate family alone in a room is like seven.

[Drew]

My immediate family in a room. Yeah, it's like eight or nine.

[Josiah]

It is sad.

[Carly]

Seven. And then my brother died and so now it's six.

[Josiah]

You should just replace him.

[Carly]

My mom was seven wild kids because my dad was one of the kids. Her name on Instagram said, I want.

[Drew]

To have two kids. I'm not having more.

[Carly]

It's a lie. Now she's a lying slack bag.

[Josiah]

Oh my God.

[Drew]

Did you tell her to change it?

[Carly]

Yeah, I said change it to six wild kids because one of them wild kids went to hell.

[Drew]

Oh, Drew.

[Carly]

Yeah, that was dark. That was really bad.

[Josiah]

Hey, that should get cut. But that was really.

[Drew]

I wonder if you can hear me biting the out of my mouth.

[Josiah]

I can't Because I can hear it in the back of my head. It's vibrating.

[Carly]

You want us to eat?

[Drew]

I really don't. I'm just, like. I had to go in. Does anyone else think global warming is a good thing?

[Josiah]

Should I order?

[Carly]

I love Lady Gaga, by the way.

[Josiah]

Oh, my God.

[Carly]

Yes. Yes.

[Drew]

We should order Taco Bell.

[Carly]

Taco Bell.

[Josiah]

Chick Fil A. Yeah.

[Drew]

Say that publicly. Work.

[Carly]

That is actually up. Yeah.

[Drew]

You support them.

[Josiah]

We know where I stand.

[Drew]

Cool. Cool.

[Josiah]

Wait, okay, just so. Okay. Okay. This is like. So I'm gonna sound stupid saying this on the podcast, but, like, the whole global warming thing. You're not. No. You're not, like, gay?

[Carly]

Like, the global warming thing, though? Like, I love Lady Gaga.

[Josiah]

Like, no, but I'm asking.

[Carly]

But, like, can we give up this whole global warming.

[Josiah]

Well.

[Drew]

Well, you don't want to hear about 9 11.

[Josiah]

That was so good, Josiah. Like, the tone. You did so well.

[Drew]

She's a robot, dude. Mimi is. I will never. I'll never give up on her. And it's the same thing with Demi. I like there. I just. I will go hard for them.

[Carly]

Playing I want you and you only.

[Drew]

For the rest of my. Why are you crying?

[Carly]

You and you only.

[Drew]

Oh, my God. What? He said he's gay and you're surprised.

[Josiah]

Oh. Oh.

[Drew]

And now we have to cut that.

[Josiah]

And now we have to let your truth live. Let your truth live. If you're. If your truth was a plant, I would water it because I want it to grow.

[Drew]

I, like, literally my truth to grow. Dude, I've been so, like, this is the quietest y' all have probably heard me in.

[Josiah]

Yes.

[Carly]

In my whole life.

[Drew]

I feel bad because. No, literally, because, like, I'm sitting here, but also because I have talked about so much on the thing with Lou.

[Josiah]

Oh, yeah.

[Drew]

Because. And now I'm literally like, what the. Do I talk about how hard our job is?

[Carly]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

Yeah. It's not so easy.

[Drew]

Me and Lucas have a podcast publicly.

[Josiah]

Sexy.

[Drew]

Do you want to announce under the emergency intercom networks?

[Carly]

I tried to buy Yalls podcast so bad, but you ignored every offer I gave you.

[Drew]

Well, we don't need it right now. We don't need money.

[Carly]

Yeah, but, like, let me get in.

[Josiah]

It so we can make a lot of money off of you and you.

[Carly]

Become profitable, because this is the only time you're getting promotion from me because.

[Josiah]

No one else will want you.

[Drew]

We have a podcast coming. You know, I can't say the name because it's like, I don't.

[Carly]

It's A very big.

[Drew]

It's a really big part of the podcast. And, God, I want to say the fucking name so bad. It's me and Lucas.

[Carly]

Yeah. You know, free the nipple. Well, when are we gonna free the rectum?

[Drew]

Free the rectum? Yeah. No.

[Josiah]

What are y' all talking about?

[Drew]

Free the. Free the rectum?

[Josiah]

Oh, we've asked this question, but I don't think we asked Josie. What do you think is more explicit? Showing your butthole or your wiener?

[Drew]

Your wiener.

[Josiah]

That's how I feel.

[Drew]

Your butthole can be perceived as funny to a lot of people.

[Josiah]

Yeah, see, that's exactly how I feel.

[Drew]

And your wiener is.

[Carly]

Your butthole is so vulnerable because.

[Drew]

Okay, it's very vulnerable.

[Josiah]

I don' Your wiener flaccid. When I say your wiener, I think about it, like, on, like, hard as a way.

[Drew]

Yeah, no, no, it's definitely the butthole to a large group of people is a lot less suggestive.

[Josiah]

It's just so funny.

[Drew]

Like. But the wiener.

[Josiah]

But everyone is having to spread whole is a lot easy.

[Drew]

My hole is, like, naturally out.

[Josiah]

Oh, at the steam. Wait, what? Because you don't have an ass.

[Drew]

No, no, I just. I got it pinned a few years ago.

[Josiah]

Oh, I just remembered a girl at the steam room. Because everybody knows that I like. Where'd your hat go? Where's your hat?

[Carly]

Where's your mama at?

[Josiah]

My mom died. Oh, no.

[Carly]

That's what I'm asking. That's what I'm asking. Where's your mom at? You're always asking about my hat. Where's your mom at? She's dead.

[Drew]

Okay, now I have an open playing field today to just joke about Enya's mother passing away.

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Because there's a time and a place.

[Carly]

Because she asked about where my hat is.

[Josiah]

I.

[Drew]

So that means you can say. You can say. Oh, you're my hat off.

[Carly]

I took hat off because my head hurt and it itched.

[Drew]

That's all you.

[Josiah]

That is just not like. That's just not very, like, com. Comparable. Oh, no, no.

[Carly]

Oh, my God.

[Josiah]

Okay. Oh, my God. Last thing before we go, I was in the steam room. Everybody knows, like, I've said it before at the.

[Carly]

Are you okay?

[Josiah]

Everybody knows that at the steam room. I spread whole like, I don't give a. But she really does tell me why somebody in the steam room. I. Oh, my God. I almost said something. I just see her pull out a mitt and I'm like, I know she's not about to do what I think she's about to. She started Exfoliating dead skin off of herself right next to me in the steam.

[Drew]

Off her puss or off her whole body.

[Josiah]

Like literally started out her feet and started going up her legs. And I was like, I literally laughed. Laughed so hard out loud. And I was like, no, I have to go. And I just like got up and left.

[Carly]

Someone in the sauna last time I was in there, like had a towel over his head and like he was. I was sat on the top row because I like sitting on the top row because it's way more high and I like can be in and out quicker.

[Drew]

Like heat rises.

[Carly]

Yeah, exactly. And he was sitting up there with me. And then he put his back on the wall so his feet were facing towards me. And his feet like touched my arm and like I like kind of just moved my arm really quick because I was like, your gross ass feet do not need to touching me. And then he. We both just started dying laughing. And I think we were laughing at the same thing, but I couldn't tell if we were laughing at the same thing or if he was laughing at me. And it made me really insecure.

[Josiah]

He was probably also laughing at like, he was probably laughing at it all in general because like you moving so quick.

[Carly]

Yeah, it was really crazy.

[Josiah]

Also like I've realized like little noises really do piss me off. And like it's like a deep thing like for me and that. And that's it. Because this girl in my pilates class had I hate a sniffle below your nose. Get away. Cuz she was literally the whole.

[Drew]

Some people can't help it.

[Josiah]

And you well stay home and fix it before you go out.

[Drew]

This chair fell off. It's the worst when you can't tell people are laughing with you or at you. When I went to this festival, I told you about this festival. Right? Right. This festival that I went to, I like there was this group of girls I was like waiting for the people I went with in the bathroom. I was waiting outside the bathroom and they literally like looked at me as they were passing by, pointed at me, said no way. And then laughed and kept walking. Said that before we've said that feels so mean.

[Josiah]

Why you do that? Like that's not.

[Drew]

So I was just standing there alone and I was wearing like. I hope we can insert a picture. Sure. Like huge baggy pants, huge like baggy T shirt, the Louis Vuitton glasses and like a snap, like a huge snapback. And I was like, well that's kind of warranted that festival I got like, I Was, like, going up to people.

[Carly]

I got screaming.

[Drew]

I got several dms after going to that festival, being like, hey, I saw you at the festival yesterday. But, like, I didn't want to go up because, like, I really thought you were rolling. I was dead sober for anyone who was there. Like, I was just like. So, like, I had my glasses on. I was, like, screaming at people, like, behind their backs, and, like, just like. Oh, it was. It was bad. I kept breaking off from my group. I got lost a few times.

[Josiah]

You got lost in the translation? Maybe.

[Drew]

Oh, I got lost in the sauce.

[Josiah]

Maybe. I.

[Carly]

All right, well, one. One last thing, and it's a very quick thing. Oh, but why do moms love me?

[Drew]

Oh, moms love me.

[Carly]

Insert the TikTok.

[Josiah]

Oh, of the mom being obsessed with the you.

[Carly]

He's different. I love how she says he's different. You know, like, hold on, I need to watch it real quick.

[Drew]

Did you know that in a relationship. No. Okay, where the is this? I don't know where I was going with that. Oh, and now you want to try and be weird with me?

[Josiah]

I didn't do anything.

[Drew]

Yes, you did. And guess what? Enya.

[Carly]

See, I think aliens sent us Nikolai Tesla.

[Josiah]

Kissing.

[Carly]

Listen, listen, listen. Aliens sent us Nikolai Tesla.

[Drew]

Wait.

[Carly]

To give us free energy. Free renewable energy. And we killed him.

[Drew]

Aliens did.

[Josiah]

What is.

[Drew]

Why are you reading this?

[Josiah]

Okay.

[Carly]

I like him. You think?

[Josiah]

I think he looks. The way he dress. I don't know. I like. Okay, I always like that. And you think he was looks.

[Drew]

Are they really talking about you or.

[Carly]

Are they talking about. They're talking about me.

[Drew]

They're talking about Drew Gooden.

[Carly]

I would have sex with Drew Gooden.

[Drew]

I would have sex with Drew Gooden.

[Josiah]

He has a wife.

[Carly]

Okay, well, that. That has literally never stopped me once. Oh.

[Josiah]

Oh, my God.

[Carly]

I am a homewrecker.

[Josiah]

Ned Fulmer. How about you try staying in your relationship?

[Carly]

Okay, why are you faulting Ned Filmer for cheating on his wife?

[Drew]

He was just cheating on his wife. Why don't you go and you go and why don' you stop posting about your wife every once in a while?

[Carly]

You.

[Drew]

Oh, loser, loser, loser. Keep cheating.

[Josiah]

All right. Oh, okay.

[Drew]

Keep cheating, loser.

[Carly]

I predicted that, by the way.

[Josiah]

He.

[Carly]

And the before the episode before that, I was like, we need to bring cheating.

[Josiah]

Oh, yeah, you did say that.

[Drew]

I love cheaters.

[Carly]

Cheaters.

[Drew]

It's, like, so interesting to me.

[Carly]

I'm like, someone cheated on me. I'm not kidding. I would ruin their lives. I would kill their family. I would kill their Pets. I would kill their animals. I would kill their parents. Parents.

[Josiah]

Here's my game plan. Because I thought about it. If somebody cheated on me, I would hang myself above their side of the bed with the thing. They came. Yeah. So they came back. They can no longer sleep in the COVID of their home and they gotta move out. And then they'll always have these images.

[Drew]

Tell them. Yeah, no, tell them. Tell them.

[Josiah]

And let's see, you go and there, huh?

[Drew]

Tell them you want to go on a vacation and be like, okay, I love you. And then have them pick you up the next day and you're dead in your bed. And they come and they're like, damn, we were supposed to go on vacation.

[Carly]

That happened to my mom.

[Josiah]

I can never go on vacation. Okay, come on.

[Drew]

You can never go. Well, you'd be dead and you could never go on a vacation.

[Carly]

That really did happen to my mom.

[Drew]

If I got cheated on, I would probably stay in the relationship. Let's be real here.

[Josiah]

If I got cheated on, I would tell my dad. He would beat your ass.

[Carly]

Honestly, if someone cheated on me, I'd be like, damn, I'm underperforming. And then I'd kill their family and their daughter.

[Josiah]

If someone cheated on me, I'm not kidding. I would go out of my way, actually, I would never sex with whoever they deemed deemed important in their life. And I would destroy every relationship.

[Carly]

That's the thing, though, is.

[Drew]

And you're angry.

[Carly]

I wouldn't be able to kill someone's dog if I was dating them. Because if I'm dating someone and they have a dog, I'm breaking up with them.

[Drew]

People change, guys. And you got to give people second chances, third chances, and fourth chancers. Come on.

[Josiah]

Okay. Media.

[Carly]

Oh, God.

[Josiah]

We watched Triangle of Sadness. Wow. Best movie ever. It was so good. It was insane. By the time this comes out, I have seen Pearl. I started X today, but I started it too late.

[Drew]

So you decided to tell the truth.

[Josiah]

And I. Yeah, because I'm a truther and I'm not a liar.

[Carly]

You're a truth.

[Josiah]

And if you follow my letterbox, you will see that it is true that I've watched these movies.

[Drew]

Do you have your letter box public?

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Carly]

Do people.

[Drew]

I do not. I do not have mine.

[Josiah]

Talk about it. I don't.

[Drew]

By the way, on. On in me and Lucas's podcast, there's no media.

[Carly]

Yeah, that's our thing.

[Drew]

Everybody else, you want to hear my media?

[Carly]

Yes. That's the other thing is I know I keep going on weird tangents. But a lot of these is our sons. And you are not fooling anybody. You can try to steal the chemistry and charisma, orphan.

[Josiah]

I am your mother. Mother. Yeah.

[Carly]

You will never be able to emulate what me. And then you have. You will never have what we have because we.

[Josiah]

We suck and we love. And you don't have that with your. With your.

[Carly]

Except Josiah. Well, they're not even trying to emulate us. They're doing their own thing because I know they're original like all these are.

[Drew]

Trying to do our sons. But who's the daddy?

[Josiah]

The rest of my media. I'm your puppet by Foster Silver's Girls against God by Florence of the Machine by Tono Impossible by Figurine. I'm just gonna give you a bunch because you won't see us for two weeks. I need your love by Arthur Priceock. I need your love, Natasha by Peter Thomas sound Orchestra. And Hala by Mazzy Star. There was one more song. I'm so sorry, Drew. There was one more song that I was really. Oh, And Miracles by Alex G. And that's it for me.

[Carly]

Okay. I got Clumsy by Oil and XL. I got 302, question mark. Wanna to go by Yabujin. Chalice of mine by Job. I can't ever say their name. Yabujin. Cry cry. Mozzie Star, Local forecast. Casino versus Japan. Listen to that entire album. What is this album called? I can't remember it off the top of my head. The album Go Hawaii. That is a masterpiece of music. Water level by Yawning Portal. And a cover of Flim by Apex Twin. But the COVID is by Simon Farintas.

[Drew]

Simon and Garfunkel.

[Josiah]

We both said that. Josie, you are so funny.

[Drew]

Okay, my media of the week.

[Carly]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Is a text that I just got from Lucas saying, yo, that's my media, Louie. Okay, no, mine is probably your podcast. Marilyn Monroe by Daniel Cohn.

[Carly]

Actually, Daniel cone.

[Drew]

The Danielle.

[Carly]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Marilyn Monroe. You know that song?

[Carly]

No, I don't.

[Drew]

Yeah, 4 million fans and they all sing along. You know that song? Okay, I'll show you later. No, my show. Media don't. Because. No, you need to watch it. Drew started it. I just re watched Russian Doll season two again. It's like way better than season one. I sobbed my eyes out. And my song is probably. I don't know.

[Carly]

My song is probably a 4am by.

[Drew]

Oh, it's Norman Rocco by It's Norman. Not the album. This song. Norman Rockwell by Lana Del Rey. And Lana. Lana Del Rey. And also.

[Carly]

Wait, we should all we should all go right now.

[Drew]

Cause you're just a man? It's just what you do? Your head in your hands as you color me blue? Cause you're just a man?

[Josiah]

Thank you guys so much for watching.

[Drew]

Thank you guys so much for watching. See you in two weeks.

[Carly]

Surprise. We're in Japan.

[Josiah]

You should.

[Carly]

I said that.

[Drew]

I don't know when the promo for me and Lucas's podcast will drop, but it'll drop in the next few days.

[Carly]

I don't know.

[Josiah]

Yeah, exciting time, maybe. Check these guys.

[Carly]

Oh, last. Last one. Last. Thing is I want to watch Fleabag.

[Josiah]

Oh, was it the slideshow of that big conversation I saw?

[Carly]

Something about breaking the fourth wall.

[Josiah]

Oh, we are watching that tonight. We're starting it.

[Carly]

Dude, I recently about watching the breaking the fourth wall or something.

[Josiah]

Oh, yeah.

[Carly]

Is that a big moment?

[Josiah]

It's not the biggest moment, but it is like, oh, she did it. Like, what the hell? Like, it's like kind of like that vibe, but time. No, that's not the biggest spoiler. Oh, that.

[Drew]

Oh, God, that show made me sob.

[Josiah]

Oh, that show is so up.

[Drew]

That show really, like, first season was gnarlier than ending of second season for me.

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Season one. I was like, whoa. Because I. I knew it was coming the whole time because it's pretty obvious.

[Carly]

Yeah.

[Drew]

But I was like, dude, oh, my God.

[Josiah]

That show is like, do I have dead eyes?

[Drew]

Phoebe Waller Bridge.

[Carly]

I think I have, like, emotion. Full eyes.

[Drew]

Yeah, emotion.

[Carly]

I feel like I don't have, like, the micro movements other people have have.

[Drew]

I've been told that I have dog shelter eyes.

[Josiah]

What? Whoa. Oh, my God.

[Carly]

I'm.

[Drew]

I'm not joking. Like, shelter dog.

[Josiah]

You are a little sad puppy.

[Carly]

Puppy's happy, though. Recently.

[Drew]

The puppy is so happy.

[Carly]

All right, bye, everybody. We'll see you soon. I love you. Don't forget about us. Please don't forget about us. Please don't forget about us.

[Josiah]

Literally kill ourself if you don't come back here in two weeks.

[Carly]

I'm not. I'm not joking. And I'm being dead serious when I say that.

[Josiah]

Oh, my God.

[Ryan Seacrest]

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