Last episode for a while… sorry

Summary

Emergency Intercom – Episode Summary: "Last Episode for a While… Sorry"
Release Date: January 3, 2025
Hosts: Enya Umanzor & Drew Phillips

Emergency Intercom, the comedic brainchild of Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips, delivers a whirlwind of candid conversations, personal anecdotes, and humorous banter in their final episode before a temporary hiatus. This episode delves deep into the hosts' reflections on the past year, their resolutions for 2025, mental health struggles, and playful trend forecasting—all peppered with their signature wit and irreverence.

---

1. Reflections on the Past Year

The episode kicks off with the hosts sharing their emotional and tumultuous experiences from the previous year. Enya opens up about the challenges she faced, stating, "My life has been a living hell for the last week" ([04:36]). Drew echoes similar sentiments, emphasizing her gratitude despite the hardships, "I really don't want it to go unseen that I am so grateful for the life I have" ([02:15]).

---

2. Resolutions and Goals for 2025

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to the hosts' resolutions—what they're "leaving in 2025." They humorously tackle habits they'd like to break and new ones they'd like to adopt:

• Enya's Resolutions:

  • Heart Palpitations: "Those are canceled. They're out." ([04:00])
  • Vaping: "Vaping is, like, literally just embarrassing." ([06:20])
  • Eye Contact: "We're leaving eye contact in 2025." ([08:43])
  • Irony Poisoning: Enya declares, "If you see me being irony poisoned and making sarcastic remarks... I want to be more sincere."

• Drew's Resolutions:

  • Vaping: "I'm stopping this year. My puff bar died yesterday." ([06:32])
  • Doom Scrolling: "I'm trying to get off my phone this year." ([27:24])
  • Holding Pee and Avoiding Doctor Visits: "I'm staying up too late... I want to get better at actually sleeping." ([28:28])

Both hosts emphasize a move towards healthier habits and greater sincerity in their interactions.

---

3. Personal Anecdotes and Mental Health Discussions

Enya and Drew bravely discuss their mental health struggles, providing listeners with an unfiltered look into their lives:

• Enya's Journey:

  • She reveals her coping mechanism of suppressing emotions through humor: "I'm gonna keep laughing. I'm gonna keep shoving it down until we have some time away so I can cry" ([05:18]).
  • Enya also shares her obsessive tendencies regarding crushes, detailing her invasive search for information about someone she has feelings for: "I went crazy. I found his family... I paid $30 to subscribe to truthfinder.com" ([41:24]).

• Drew's Struggles:

  • Drew opens up about her panic attacks and anxiety: "I have panic attacks at least six times a year" ([56:39]).
  • She discusses her difficulties with expressing genuine emotions and fears of misandry: "There is a rhyme and a reason... I want people to fear me" ([32:44]).

Their vulnerability fosters a sense of solidarity, reminding listeners that they're "in this together."

---

4. Trend Forecasting for 2025

In their characteristic humorous style, Enya and Drew present a mock trend forecast for the upcoming year, blending absurdity with sharp social commentary:

• Fashion Trends:

  • Blue Jeans and White Shirts: "Blue jeans means white shirt. Firemen have more fun on the earth." ([37:39])
  • Cheetah Print: "Cheetah print is in." ([37:31])

• Hygiene and Lifestyle:

  • Underwear Consumption: A playful debate ensues about the necessity of daily underwear changes: "We need to just banish underwear" ([37:14]).
  • Showering: "We’re leaving showering in 2024." ([16:55])

• Social Movements:

  • Sincerity and Unity: Enya predicts, "Loving thy neighbor... unity and union" will be significant themes ([38:40]).

These forecasts serve as comedic relief while subtly critiquing societal norms and behaviors.

---

5. Media Picks and Recommendations

The hosts share their favorite media of the week, offering listeners a glimpse into their personal tastes:

• Movies:

  • Portrait of a Lady on Fire: Enya praises its emotional depth, saying, "It made me think about all the moms out there... love that we can't even begin to comprehend for our offspring" ([55:45]).
  • Letterbox: Despite reservations, Enya admits, "I have never cried at a movie like that ever in my life."

• Music:

  • Fleetwood Mac's "Walk a Thin Line" and Bob Carpenter's "Miracle Man" are highlighted as standout tracks ([58:03]).

• Miscellaneous:

  • Drew mentions Tiny Desk performances, underscoring their appreciation for diverse musical expressions ([58:25]).

---

6. Final Thoughts and Farewell

As the episode winds down, Enya and Drew reflect on their friendship and the impending hiatus:

• Enya's Emotional Farewell:

  • "It hurts me sometimes thinking about everybody... I'm dying for it to change" ([50:48]).

• Drew's Optimism:

  • Despite challenges, Drew expresses hope: "I am incredibly optimistic, out of pure survival mode" ([55:27]).

The episode concludes with heartfelt well-wishes: "Peace, love, prosperity, respect, health to you and yours. Sleep tight tonight. Bye." ([60:02]).

---

Notable Quotes

• Enya Umanzor:

  • "We're leaving eye contact in 2025." ([08:43])
  • "I have been internalizing and been laughing at it for far too fucking long, and it is not funny." ([05:03])
  • "Change your underwear daily is in." ([36:16])

• Drew Phillips:

  • "I'm going into 2025 with nothing but delusional positivity." ([02:05])
  • "I'm not a good texter. It's never gonna happen." ([21:40])
  • "I'm going to throw tomatoes." ([14:05])

---

Conclusion

In this emotionally charged and humor-laden episode, Enya and Drew offer a raw and relatable glimpse into their lives, tackling personal struggles, societal observations, and light-hearted forecasts with equal fervor. Their ability to intertwine vulnerability with comedy makes Emergency Intercom a unique and engaging listen, leaving listeners eagerly anticipating their return.

Transcript

[A]

Hey, I'm Ryan Reynolds. Recently, I asked Mint Mobile's legal team if big wireless companies are allowed to raise prices due to inflation. They said yes. And then when I asked if raising prices technically violates those onerous two year contracts, they said, what the are you talking about, you insane Hollywood. So to recap, we're cutting the price of mint unlimited from $30 a month to just $15 a month. Give it a [e-mail] Switch $45 upfront.

[B]

Payment equivalent to $15 per month. New customers on first 3 month plan only. Taxes and fees. Extra Speed slower above 40 GB. Details. Tim Allen and Kat Dennings star in the new family comedy Shifting Gears. Dad, I'm broke and I need a.

[A]

Place to stay until I figure out.

[B]

What the rest of my life looks like. So a couple of days when his daughter moves back in.

[A]

The last time you walked out that door, you looked back at me and gave me a double bird.

[B]

I was 18.

[A]

The double bird was how I ended all our conversations. The wheels come off. Can we try to talk to each other like rational adults? Have you watched the news lately? That's not a thing anymore. Series premiere Wednesday, 8, 7 Central on ABC and stream on Hulu.

[B]

Welcome back to Emergency Intercom. Happy New Year.

[A]

This is the first time I've touched Inya all year.

[B]

Oh, my God. You're going to be touching me in crazy ways tonight because we're switching positions. Hot and fresh in the kitchen.

[A]

Wait.

[B]

Literally podcast. Guys, honestly, I have. I am going into 2025 with nothing but delusional positivity. I know last year I went into it with positivity and God damn it, did I get rug burn on my fucking butt from being butt fucked. From.

[A]

Thrown to the ground. Thrown to the ground several times. But also, we have to recognize that simultaneously there's a yin and a yang.

[B]

So many good things.

[A]

So many good things. So many great things. That's what I'm leading with this year, is positivity. I'm looking for the good things in life. And it'll find me. It'll find me. Please find me good things. Please find me.

[B]

It is so funny being people who, like, prize our privacy because I feel like when we talk about last year being bad, it can sound so annoying to you guys. I really don't want it to go unseen that I am so grateful for the life I have. Like, I genuinely feel so blessed. And I said it in, like, a few episodes ago, but just know. Just know, just, just know. Just know. Just, just. But the Fun part is, last year, like, I've been feeling like a teenager again in terms of, like, when things are happening in my personal life. I feel like it motivates me a lot to do creative work, which.

[A]

That you really have been drawing. Like, drawing, writing, all that good shit.

[B]

Yeah. It, like, really puts that pep in my step and it makes me feel alive. But that's because I am mentally ill and there's just something about a deep, sick sadness that makes me feel alive. But that's not the vibe this year.

[A]

The vibe this year is vibes.

[B]

Wait, should we do our ins and outs to start off the episode?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you want me to start?

[B]

Yeah, should. Okay, how should we do it so that we don't, like, cut each other off? Should we just go down our list and then we can pick ones out?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, we'll go down our list fully. But I mean, also just chime in. Like, we'll just chime in and it'll be fine. Because love is what, interrupting? Exactly. Okay, I just have. Okay, so this is what I have. I have. What are we leaving in 2025? I have my resolutions, and then I just deleted all of them. Yeah, I have resolutions. What? We're leaving and trend forecasting. So should I just do. What are we leaving in 2025? Yeah.

[B]

Because I only have ins and outs.

[A]

Oh, yeah. So in 2025, we're leaving. Heart palpitations.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Those are canceled. They're out. Like, I'm done feeling my heart skip three beats and thinking I'm gonna wait.

[B]

But you don't vape. You don't vape. Why?

[A]

I know her. It's gotta be some other, bruh. It's gotta be some other.

[B]

I'm stopping this year. I am, like, genuinely committed to it. My puff bar died Yesterday on the 1st, and I told myself I was gonna stop. I had a very stressful week.

[A]

Y'All. Like, I really can't get into. I cannot get into it. And sorry for cutting you off, but my life has been a living hell for the last week. So has Inya's. Not spilling her tea. Not spilling my tea. But just know these holidays were fucking scary boots. They were not a vibe at all. Like, I'm so glad I spent it with my family, and I love my parents and my family.

[B]

So grateful to have a family to go back to.

[A]

Oh, my God, I'm literally going to start crying. Imagine I just start crying for the first time over all the shit now I've been. Y'all the shit. Going on. I have been internalizing and been laughing at it for far too fucking long, and it is not funny. Yeah.

[B]

It gets to a point where it's not fun.

[A]

It's, like, so unhealthy for me to, like, process this. The process. Process it this way. But, like, we're just gonna keep laughing. I'm gonna keep shoving it down until we have some time away so I can cry about all the going on in my goddamn life. But just know we in this together. But heart palpitations out. Palpitations are out.

[B]

Yeah. Puff bars out. I don't think I'm gonna buy a new one. I do have cigarettes, and this is gonna sound like the craziest thing ever.

[A]

You are batshit.

[B]

But I think I'm gonna, like, smoke a cigarette today and see if it even sparks joy.

[A]

Don't smoke. Don't do it, because it'll spark toy.

[B]

Good scene so bad.

[A]

You just got a cold turkey. That's like.

[B]

No, I know. I. I'm gonna buy a bunch of toothpicks and stuff because for me, it really is. Like, I bite my nails. I always have something in my mouth, and I just, like. I'm constantly thinking too much, and I like to chew on. If y'all saw the tips of my vapes, the teeth marks are crazy because I. I just chew on it.

[A]

Also, like, it is so, like, embarrassing.

[B]

No, it is.

[A]

Vaping is, like, literally just embar. It's just giving, like, baba being, like, bottle.

[B]

Also, I just don't want us to be a part of, like, the testing generation.

[A]

Yeah. Like, we've already.

[B]

We've already given enough. We've already given enough of our money to that side of the world and tobacco. I feel like if we all are in this together, we can all step away from it and, you know. Yeah, right?

[A]

Yeah. Also, I saw that Gen Z is drinking, like, exponentially less than the generations. The three previous gener, like, the others are averaging, like, $24 billion a year spent on alcohol. Gen Z, granted, only, like, half of us are of age, are only spending $3 billion a year on alcohol, which is iconic. And if we could kill big alcohol and big Tobacco, bitch, that's a vibe.

[B]

But smoke your weed, though. Hit that car. I don't.

[A]

Yeah, smoke your weed.

[B]

The carts are a different conversation.

[A]

Smoke your weed. Do your heroin, snort, smoke, or inject meth. Like, either way, like, those are. Those are the good ones. Yeah, yeah, fun one. But actually, cocaine, like, all of that.

[B]

My only. Literally, my only gripe with weed is.

[A]

I'm joking, by the way, y'all.

[B]

Yeah, obviously. But my only worry with weed is the memory loss of it all. And I. I genuinely do because I believe in science. I do believe in the idea of smoking too much before. I think it's like, age 24 or 5 can really fuck with your memory and your, like, cognitive ability. So keep that in mind. But also. What? I'm not your mom. Don't listen to me.

[A]

Yeah, literally. Okay, so we are leaving eye contact in 2025.

[B]

I agree.

[A]

It's too much. It's too much pressure. It's like, there's too many, like, diagnoses that you can put around it. And I don't fall in any of those categories. It's never that deep. Like, if I'm having a conversation and I'm looking this way, I'm talking to you. It is not that fudgeing deep. It's not disrespectful for me not to look in your goddamn eyes. And I don't know why people made it that way, but, like, oh, my God, like, it's not that deep. We're leaving eye contact in 2025 also.

[B]

We have to leave it in 2025 because you can't tell.

[A]

Or 2026. 2026 or 2020 24. Yeah, I'm leaving all of this.

[B]

You can't tell me, like, to make eye contact with somebody because I take it too literal and I just stare people not.

[A]

Yeah, that's how I, like, overthink it.

[B]

Y.

[A]

Like, yeah. I'm like, okay. Am I, like, creeping them out? Do they think I'm falling in love with them?

[B]

It's also interesting cuz I feel like with people I'm comfortable with, I don't think about eye contact at all. Like, I feel like I stare my friends in the face when I talk to them.

[A]

Yeah. Like, I can't even look at you. Cuz we're talking about it. But I'm. I think we can, like, have conversations looking at each other.

[B]

Stop looking at my eyes.

[A]

Literally. Okay, we're leaving irony poisoning in 2024. Ethel Kane said it best. We are in a sincerity epidemic. No one's being sincere anymore. And I am at the forefront of the irony poisoned movement. And if you see me being irony poisoned and making sarcastic remarks and jokes for all of 2025, don't say I'm trying and I'm aware of it. And I want to be more sincere with myself and with y'all and with all of my friends and family, because I realized I was like, like, really thinking back. And I was like, okay, I'm in tune with my emotions. Like, I. I know what I'm feeling. And I, like, control. Can control my emotions. Like, four years ago, that was a different story. But, like, I can't verbalize, like, what I'm feeling. Like, it's. It's. It's like a weird thing. Like, in my head, I know what I'm thinking and I know what I want to say. But then there's, like, this, like, blockade, like, that I just can't get out. And I'm just like, we gotta. I gotta work on that. And, yeah, that starts with being sincere.

[B]

I feel like you're really good at it when we're talking about things. Like, I never feel like you're not good at. Just.

[A]

You know what it is, is, like, comparison is a thief of joy because you are so good at it. Like, you are like, every time I hear you talk about, like, your emotions or, like, talking about your feelings about someone or anything like that, like, I'm like, damn, she's really good at, like, she's just really in tune with her mind. And even, like, on the podcast, she'll go on these, like, tangents, and I'm like, damn, she's like, just really good at it. And then, like, I just am sitting next to you, and I'm like, yeah, I'm sad because my family and that's all I can get out.

[B]

I really do think. I feel like with me, you're very vulnerable. So I wouldn't. It really is just comparisons to Thief of Joe. Also, I always try to remind people, not only am I batshit crazy and ocd, so I can't not think about every single waking move I make, but I've had six, I think now, seven years of consistent therapy. So it really is I. I doing that once a week. I tell that to everybody. I was talking to my sister, and she was talking about how she has such a hard time verbalizing how she feels, but she knows how she feels. It's very similar to how you'd say. But just like my sister, like, when she talks, I'm. I'm like, no, you don't have a problem talking. You're really good at expressing yourself. But it is just I. Because I've done so. It's like I've taken a class. It feels, yeah, like an acting class for emotions.

[A]

I have a few, but I'm leaving them off because I wrote this list when I was sobbing on the floor of my bathroom. And we'll get into that. We'll get into that in a second. But the last one I'll say is unwarranted guilt. I feel like I am a very guilty person for things that I had nothing involved with or like, just I feel like I carry around a lot of guilt for things that literally do not matter or that I had no involvement with. And I am just leaving that in 2024. I am living a guilt free lifestyle. I'm moving on. Like, I'm apologizing if I did do wrong, but like, I'm not holding that guilt over me. And there will be no more shame. No more shame. No more shame.

[B]

You know what's funny is my top two are admitting you're annoying slash wrong and vulnerability, which I feel like kind of places I was just being annoying and my, like the way I wrote it, but it really is that just if I'm wrong, I am wrong. I feel like I've started to realize because I am a people pleaser through and through and that is such a selfish and like self absorbed act. I don't think I do it that way on purpose. But it does get to a point where it's okay. All of these things and all of my guilt comes back to me and how I feel like I'm going to be perceived for the things that you said. Yeah. So it's such an ego thing. And I feel like it really didn't start as that. It comes from our childhood and like, like being like the younger or like middle siblings. Whatever, whatever. But I feel that I, I can carry literally. I will have nothing to do with some. And I will say sorry 18 million times.

[A]

You gotta stop apologizing.

[B]

I say sorry. Oh, I give out. Sorry's like I'm Mr. Beast giving out 100 Hershey's chocolate. Yeah. Like I'm giving out feastable.

[A]

Oh my God. I found out Mr. Beast received millions of taxpayer dollars from the Pentagon to get kids to enlist in the godd. We are in a military crisis. Like, because no one wants to fight a fucking war. Like, no, like, everyone is just like, over. Okay, whatever.

[B]

Because what the fuck does that have to do with me? I don't even believe in the shit y'all are trying to put me at war for. Like, literally. Leave those people alone. Leave those people the fuck alone.

[A]

Oh my God.

[B]

Pissing me off. I want to throw like, I think an in for this year is throwing tomatoes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I think we need to bring back like tomato.

[A]

Tomato.

[B]

Because it feels like so much of our society is Reversing into crazy ideas that are. Feel very old school. So, okay, I'm gonna bring back the old school retaliation, and I'm gonna start. Y'all better start checking.

[A]

Tomatoes are getting tomatoes and stones. Like, we're gonna start stoning people. We, like. We'll throw tomatoes at people where we're like, this guy stinks. But we'll throw stones at people that commit heinous crimes.

[B]

Yeah. I think Mr. Beast is getting a tomato with a rock inserted in it. So, like, a dirt clog.

[A]

A dirt clog.

[B]

A dirt clog, yeah.

[A]

So it's, like, not gonna cause permanent damage. There may be a cut. Have I ever told you about my dirt clogged fight era?

[B]

I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna lie. I don't know what the fuck a dirt clog is.

[A]

It's just, like, a really hard, compacted mass of dirt. Like, it gets wet, and then it turns into, like, almost a stone where you can pick up a clot of dirt. And we would. On recess, we found a big pile of them, like, for, like, three days. And we would just have, like, wars where we kept throwing them at each other. And they would hit you and, like, hurt a little bit, but they would burst into dust, and it was just, like, really fun. Well, one day, a kid accidentally picked up a literal stone and launched it at a kid and gashed his forehead open. And no one. Like, the. The parents of the kid that had his forehead gashed up and were like, we're pressing charges. But the kid was like, mom, like, that's gonna make me so lame. A loser. So nothing happened. But, yeah, I was almost. Almost the kid that threw the stone. The first stone at the dirt stone.

[B]

The first stone at Granbury. Burke. Stonewall. Brick wall.

[A]

Brick wall. Okay, I'll say my other ones, but just know that.

[B]

Sorry, these are background.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no. You're good. These are good conversations. We're leaving showering in 2024.

[B]

Like, what, are you gonna substitute it with something?

[A]

No, I think. I think our human bodies were not meant to be showered. And, I mean, I already left it in 2023. But I'm saying everybody else is going to start joining. I literally think the only time I quote, unquote, showered last year was when we went to the river. I guess I went to the ocean with Mason and Zamar and swam like, it. I. But does that negative.

[B]

Like, no, because you. You're not using soap, so it's technically not a shower. You're just, like, getting wet. I'M confused. Like, you. You go in the bathroom all the time.

[A]

Yeah, I just hang out in there.

[B]

True.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I. I make it seem like I'm showering. I'll maybe wash my hands. Because we're also leaving that in 2022 where I left it, like, washing my hands.

[B]

But there's like. Like sicknesses and stuff going around that's.

[A]

I'm building my immune system, babe.

[B]

Oh, okay. Honestly, I feel that. I feel that also. I just realized we can cut this off if it's, like, too much, but it's not even. It literally has no details to it. I've realized because both of us love hanging out in the bathroom, and I genuinely think we like hanging out in the bathroom. So both grew up in huge families that we had to share all these spaces, and the bathroom was the only place you got to be fully alone because I was just looking at you and thinking about you hand the bathroom. I was like, I don't do that. And I was like, wait, yes, I do. Every night when I get ready for bed, I am in there for, like, two hours.

[A]

It's chilling. It's a vibe.

[B]

It was love being in there.

[A]

It was the stairs and. Oh, best believe under the table.

[B]

Were you under the table?

[A]

Oh, no, that's weird.

[B]

I was hanging out under the dining room table because we had this table. I hid under the table, would block it, and there was this little center area with a glass piece that would shine light in there. And I would just literally, I would bring clay under there. I would bring under there, and I would hang out under there. And I have the best memory from when I was a kid during, like, the house. The fridge is about to explode. At the first house I lived in, we had these huge windows in the living room, and it was a crazy thunderstorm, and I was under the table. Like, I had an ipod touch. I was like, 14. I was under the table. And Orange is the new black that just came out. And I was having that, watching that, and playing with clay. And I remember, like, going to the kitchen and, like, putting it to bake and going back under the table and waiting. Also, actually, before I forget, I almost set my fucking parents house on fire in Miami because my dumb high ass was, like, playing with clay with my siblings, which was so amazing. Loved it so much. Made the cutest character. I made that thing we've been working on. I made it out of clay, and it looked really good.

[A]

Do you have pictures of it?

[B]

No, because I put it in the air fryer. Instead of the oven.

[A]

Because I was like, same difference.

[B]

I was like, same thing, bitch. Nathalie came in the room and Sabrina was there and she came in the room and she goes, there's a lot of smoke in the house. Mind you, no one else noticed. My brother is sitting in the living room. Literally didn't notice. And I had to go and run and open all the windows and fan out the house. And I went and told my dad and he just looked at me. He was like, you are so dumb. And I was like, yes, yes, we know. And then he was like, did you get the smoke out? I was like, no. And he was like, okay. And he got up and he just started doing it.

[A]

You mentioned Oranges and New Black and I don't think that show gets the credit it deserves for making Netflix what it is today. Because that, yeah, that single handedly changed the trajectory of Netflix forever. Like they were making like little dinky shows. I think they had who Was the Murderer? That like docu series or whatever. Making a Murderer. Yeah. But like Orange is a New Black really revolutionized. I mean, streaming in general, which I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but it's really convenient. But it also costs so much money.

[B]

Also, it's. Yeah, it's more expensive than cable. I miss cable. Like, I genuinely, I don't like decision making. It's. We're all being played like pawns. Like, I don't. I, I guess actually it's like a very sheep mentality to just want decisions made for me. But I don't give a fuck. Why do I have to think about what to watch? Sorry. Keep going because I'm like literally going.

[A]

To go on a. No, you're good. You're good.

[B]

Flex your business with an American Express Business Gold card. You'll earn four times Membership Rewards points on your top two eligible spending categories like transit and electronics, each on up to 150k in combined purchases per year. Plus, you can now earn 3 times Membership Rewards points on flights and prepaid hotels booked on amextravel.com terms and points cap apply. Learn more at americanexpress.com business gold AmEx business Gold. Built for business by American Express.

[A]

If you need three new reasons to love Jack wraps at Jack in the.

[B]

Box, even more, here they are.

[A]

Chicken fajita, chicken Caesar and delicious. Starting at $3.

[B]

Coincidentally, those are the same three reasons.

[A]

You should come to Jack in the Box right now at Jack, every bite's a big deal. So my other one Was not crying. I don't cry enough. We're leaving that in 2024. I'm gonna be an emotional baby. I'm gonna be crying all the time. We're trying to cry.

[B]

I can't be the only girl crying.

[A]

Yeah. And also, I feel like it is, like, a really useful skill to have to be able to cry, but I'm just joking.

[B]

Just manipulate.

[A]

Yeah, just manipulate, Manipulate. Okay, then. We're leaving crushes in 2024. But I redacted that one.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because I wrote this when I was crying on the floor of the bathroom. But I got a text back, so.

[B]

Things are looking up.

[A]

We're cooking. But I'll get into all of that after.

[B]

Enos my ends. I already said the first two. Admitting youg're Annoying, Slash Wrong. Vulnerability. Not Caring About Tech Specs, which is crazy. She just said that. But I mainly meant that because I'm sorry, I'm not a good texter. It's never.

[A]

That's only for you.

[B]

Yeah. It's never gonna happen. Please know.

[A]

I like, Can I show you the way we text? I'll show you later. But, like, you tell me if I'm like, over reading things.

[B]

No, it is bad. Every time I open a text with anybody I love, I'm like, holy, I suck dick and balls. But I just.

[A]

We text good.

[B]

You know what it is too, is like, this is so annoy. But I genuinely. I have decided I like giving so much time and attention to someone and I feel like text is a barrier. I can't be fully, like, I can't be as fast enough. Because if you look at our text or like, me and Orion's text and our group chat text, we're all just talking at the same time. Like, we're not really replying to each other because the way we all talk is we like to just be in each other's face. I'm like, blah, blah, blah. I can't do that over text. And if I see you in person and you're my friend and I am fully present, you should know I love you. A text back is not going to change that.

[A]

Yeah, that's a good one. And I need to also get on that wavelength.

[B]

Yeah, I just like, I feel like also being a bad text backer or whatever, being bad at replying to texts also is, like, remove the anxiety. I don't really care that much when someone doesn't text me back because I don't even remember I sent the text. If I'm being honest. Like, I send a Text and I leave the app and I'm just like, like living in my own world. And then I'll be like, oh, that person never responded to me. That's crazy. Like, I actually don't give a about a text back. I will say crazy in your text and I'll give a if you don't reply. Because I know you saw it. Like, because I know I see everything on my phone, so I know that's.

[A]

What drives me insane. I'm like, you saw it and you didn't respond. Like, because I see everything. Like, if I don't text you back, it's not because I didn't see it. I saw it. But I was scrolling on tick tock and I don't have the capacity and wherewithal to exit the app put the energy into texting you and then sending and then going back to the video I was watching. Like, I just need to be in perpetual rot state. Because if I break that cycle, bad things happen. I start thinking thoughts. I start having thoughts inside of my own thought. Yeah. And I can't have that. I really, I really cannot.

[B]

Well, that's why this year we're gonna dedicate more of our free time to using our hands. Because the idol was it the devil loves idle hands.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, that's one of my resolutions, which I won't get into yet.

[B]

Making coffee at home. I already do this, but I mainly wanted to say it for y'all. Like, invest in a little setup. It's like a self care thing. I love. Like as much as I would love to just lay in bed and order a coffee one, I can never get myself to do it because I'm like, that's awful. And a waste of time and also a waste of money. And the idea of somebody going in their car and getting me a coffee and leaving on my front porch makes me feel absolutely batshit crazy. But also it's like a side self care ritual. If you have the time, make a coffee at home. Like, invest in your little setup. It's like doing your makeup or skin care or whatever the. It's like it's a moment to yourself.

[A]

Yeah. It's like. I think that's why Matcha also became so popular. Yeah.

[B]

Because it really. It's like a ritual. Like rituals are very important, guys. We need to tap back in. That's an in is ritual. It's like little rituals for yourself.

[A]

Like, not like, not like big things. Like little like every morning. One of my rituals is making my bed, tidying my sheets, opening the curtains.

[B]

You don't have curtains. But, like, opening my curtains is ritual.

[A]

It's like I. I wake up before everybody else. I clean up a little bit. Like that's a ritual. Like, little things like that. That's so in.

[B]

Yeah, just little things for yourself. You don't have to do your big one every day. That's like, absolutely ridiculous. Watching the movies your friends recommend. But I have.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

I have to immediately follow that up with one of my outs, which is recommending movies you already went to see in a theater without me and you didn't invite me.

[A]

Okay. That is also for me too.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because I. I didn't get invited, actually. Granted, I was in either other countries or states, but y'all saw all of the major motion pictures without me. And I'll never see what.

[B]

Barbie.

[A]

Barbie.

[B]

I'm telling you, you're not missing with Barbie. Like, I. I am sorry.

[A]

I just like, internal.

[B]

I love saying that. Wait. Cuz y'all saw something without me too.

[A]

But you were in another state.

[B]

You see hella without me.

[A]

You see how this. Without me. Should we kiss? Nope.

[B]

I'm gonna shove this banana up my ass.

[A]

So you hit me and then you say you're gonna shove a banana up my ass and you're gonna like it.

[B]

A new in too is playing like, not enough friends want to just play. Like, I'm taking Inspo from Rain. She's really good at getting her friends together and playing games and just not watching tv. When I go to Rain's house, it's rare and just, like, watch tv. We just play with our cat. We play with little things. We get, like, little kits to make fudgeing. What's it called? Those, like, pop and cook in. Like, I want to do more of that. I want to do more playing with my friends. I want to go run around with my friends. I want to find a field and, like, chase each other and play in person. Like, I want to play. And a second thing is that, like, that is dressing up and being loud. I feel like I really like my style. It's become very diluted and basic, but I think it's just been easier for me, especially with how busy I've gotten to be more simple. But I want to be more playful with my outfit. I want to be, like, more of a presence. And that's a whole other thing. But yeah, I just want to have more fun with my expression, with my clothing and my hair and things like that. And I'm trying to figure it out.

[A]

I inspired you.

[B]

You actually like, kind of did. I'm like, oh, damn. Like, getting a fun haircut is a thing. Like, it's a good thing.

[A]

My rat tail, I need it re braided.

[B]

The rubber band fell out.

[A]

Yeah, this has been braided.

[B]

Oh, you have to take that out and wash it because you probably have like scalp buildup at the base of that braid.

[A]

Oh, no, I like, get up in there and scrape. It's really loose at the tip.

[B]

Oh, that's it. And that's honestly it for my ends. Like, I have other ends, but they're more, I guess, resolutions for myself. Should we do outs?

[A]

I did my ins and outs at the same time.

[B]

Oh, I'm dumb as fuck. Outs is doom scrolling. Because I really want to get off my phone this year. I don't think. I don't agree with the idea that the Internet and everything is the worst thing you can do to your brain, because I genuinely do think it's such a good form of connection information, Whatever. But I do think I have an addiction to my phone like most of us do. And if I'm sitting around anxious, I'm like, I could be doing something. I just want to move my mind somewhere else. Even if that means to a bigger screen and watching a movie. That will be done.

[A]

Yeah. One of my resolutions this year is when I'm bored, I'll read. When I'm overwhelmed, I'll write or draw instead of scrolling on iPhone. But like you were saying, I'm a huge proponent of the iPhone. Like, there's kale phone. Crack phone. I want crack phone. Give it to me. Let me utilize it to the greatest of its abilities. Like, I want it to consume 90% of my day. But at the same time, I know I have life to live because I'll only be 17 once.

[B]

Oh, wait, I thought. I'm so confused. I thought you were 18.

[A]

Wait, let me do the math.

[B]

So what year were you born?

[A]

2010. Damn. So I'm only 15.

[B]

You're so.

[A]

Well, I'm 14 and like, like nine months. So I guess I'm like, technically 16.

[B]

You're so annoying. Another out is holding your pee. That's kind of just to me. I have this really bad habit, especially because I'm always with my friends. I will just. I. I hate leaving a room from you guys, because leaving a room from the people I know means you miss 30 of a conversation and you come back and everything is.

[A]

It's an inside joke.

[B]

Everything has happened. There's something being repeated that you don't understand. But I really don't want a uti. Avoiding the doctor is another out. I want to go to the doctor.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm privileged enough to have access to doctors, and I want to use it. I want to take.

[A]

Let's get those. Let's get those executive physicals, y'all. There's these physicals. Granted, they're so expensive, like, ridiculously expensive, but you can do them in Mexico city for, like, 700. But there are these physicals where you go in and it's like, three days of testing.

[B]

Let's just do that. Because I want to go back to Mexico. I love.

[A]

I love Mexico.

[B]

I love Mexico. I literally. I'm not playing. I love Mexico.

[A]

Oh, my God. The shout out Mexicans, like, y'all ate. The food is delicious. Yalls City is Gorgina Grande. Like, oh, my God, I love Mexico so much. And every time I go back, I'm like, damn. Like, this might be my favorite city I've ever been to.

[B]

It's so good.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

Also, I'm sorry. Like, Latin America is just goat. I really want to go to, but my family is, like, boring as they're Jehovah's Witnesses. Like, I want to go to Honduras to, like, go do the. I did as a kid, which is like, go play in the river. But my great grandma is dead, and she's the one who lives by the river. But, like, what? What? I don't want to go to church. But maybe Loki would be interesting because. Oh, my God. When I was in Honduras when I was a kid. Don't get on me for my pronunciation. I'm sorry. I, like, I can't. I can't do it. When I would go as a kid, they would drag my ass to church three times a week. I don't wanna go. And you know what I would always do? My cheat code for getting the out of the church is I'd be like, I'm thirsty. I'm thirsty. So my mom would give me money or my grandma would give me money, and I would run outside and go find a lady who was selling water because they sell water in baths. And I would just, like, go and. And sneak into my aunt's truck, into her back bed, and I would lay there and, like, drink my water until my grandma came out looking for me. She'd be like, anya, because she thought I got kidnapped. But really, I was hiding because I didn't want to be in charge.

[A]

We listen and we don't judge. Every time I find money in the washer machine, it becomes mine.

[B]

Oh, same.

[A]

It's mine every time.

[B]

That's just the way the world.

[A]

That's just. That's something I thought about, and then I don't know why I just said.

[B]

That, but you just had to admit your sins. That's the party you're in. You're being vulnerable.

[A]

Yeah, I'm being authentic.

[B]

My other out is staying up too late. I am a night owl by nature. I want to get better at actually sleeping. I just want to get my sleep in tune because I'm a really.

[A]

You do need that.

[B]

I'm, like, a heavy sleeper, but I sleep wrong. I don't really invest in, like, good pillows and stuff, so I have, like, really bad back problems.

[A]

Like, I'm so excited to get a new bed.

[B]

I know.

[A]

I just want to, like, bed.

[B]

I want to just. Just splurge. And also with that not staying up too late, I want to do more sleepovers in bed, which is why we're. We're planning on getting bigger beds so we can sleep with our friends. And that also is partially with the end. But I don't want to stay up too late with y'all. Like, I want to be better at us waking up and having a day together and then going to bed early together.

[A]

We always have nights. We never have days. But we're also, like. We always say, like, okay, we're gonna go do this, this, and this tomorrow. And then it, like, comes time, and we're like, like, working or some.

[B]

I know that's what.

[A]

Something we need. I need a schedule. But sorry. Keep going.

[B]

Okay. This. Okay, I. I really have to explain this one. This isn't out public. Misandry is out. But let me explain.

[A]

This is interesting.

[B]

Let me explain. I will always hate men. Point blank period. Always. Do I have men in my life I love? Yes, there is a balance. Am I the strongest misandrist? No, not by any means, because, yes, I saw baby girl.

[A]

And you're straight again.

[B]

Let's just say don't let me in that room. Don't let me in that room. I literally.

[A]

That's how I feel with nosafarads, dude. I'm like, don't let me in that goddamn coffin, because I will be eating the maggots off his dick.

[B]

Oh, my God. True.

[A]

His rotten fucking member.

[B]

Ew.

[A]

That's in calling a penis a member.

[B]

No, it is a member. It's a lot. But I'm like, I just think men are too aware of it, and I am tired of them getting to go online and say the right things. Or just in person say the right things.

[A]

It's like manipulating men.

[B]

Yeah. I feel like straight men are just seeing that and they're getting to manipulate it. If you're a straight man listening to this, be you who you are.

[A]

Be you. Yeah.

[B]

Be who you are. I'm not hating on you publicly. Publicly. But, yeah, I. I feel like I can't even go into detail. Like, just the girls are together. No, actually, see, even saying that, like, I just don't want to be a public misandrist because I like the shock value of men coming up to me and then me being like. But just know that there is a rhyme and a reason. I just don't want men to know what we're up to. Like, men shouldn't have the right. Like, they. We have to start treating it like a secret society.

[A]

The Illuminati of misandry.

[B]

Yeah. And that's that. And then my last out is mystery. I'm enough.

[A]

It's done. It's tried. It's boring. It's over.

[B]

Yeah. Like, enough with the mystery of it all. I think I've been thinking a lot about my.

[A]

You.

[B]

Yes. Literally, I've been thinking a lot about my age and my perceptions of what it means to be a woman. I kind of went on a tangent like this on the live stream the other day, but just my ideas of what it means to be a woman, what it means to grow into my womanhood, and, like, how I am perceived in public and all these things. And I think I had a lot of ideas of when I grew older, I would become more calm and within myself and be a little more, like, restrictive of the things I say and all these things. No, no. Because that is a ploy to get my ass to shut up. And one thing you're never gonna do is have me fucking shut.

[A]

That literally. Is the patriarchy, like, locking you down?

[B]

No, that's what I feel like. Because I'm like, oh, yeah, when I'm older, I'll be just like, this sexy woman. And, like, people will turn their heads. Actually, no, I realize that. I don't, like. I literally don't. I don't want to shut up. I don't. Like. Yeah, I want people to fear me. And I don't give a.

[A]

Actually, just don't. Don't. It is scary. I am being perceived as scary, but I'll tell you later. Okay, so Trend forecasting for 2025. I came up with a few. Changing underwear daily is going to be in for 2025.

[B]

Like, the thing Is you keep saying a lot of hygiene based things that actually make me a bit worried for you. Yeah.

[A]

No, you like, I feel like all of us, we. You like everyone involved. On my. On your soul. We're all like not changing underwear daily. Sometimes we go four or five days without it and that's just like saving them.

[B]

No, I'm not.

[A]

On your soul. On your soul. We, we all of us are not changing.

[B]

You're like manipulating me now. I'm really about my underwear consumption.

[A]

Yeah, you're. You're washing it too much. You're wasting too much water. Like, did you know the amount of water in a washing machine could fill an Olympic size pool? One wash. That can't be true.

[B]

That can be true.

[A]

Yeah. So every time you wash your clothes, you're filling an Olympic size swimming pool.

[B]

I like, I actually can't tell if you're lying to me.

[A]

Yeah, I'm being dead serious. So like just keep in mind. Yes.

[B]

See you can't say anything to me cuz I believe anything anyone says.

[A]

Yeah. So changing your underwear daily is in. I feel like we've taken it too far and we just got to come back to it. It.

[B]

I think we should just banish underwear.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like I. I'm lowkey pro and gray.

[A]

Sweatpants on big hairy men. No underwear.

[B]

Oh my God.

[A]

Okay. I feel like sambas are gonna be. Sambas are.

[B]

I feel like jeans are gonna be a vibe. Blue jeans. Blue jeans means white shirt.

[A]

Firemen have more fun on the earth.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Okay. Cheetah print.

[B]

You're so annoying. I actually was so curious. I was like, damn, you wrote trend forecast. Like what are you gonna think? That is how it's gonna be. It's like Bambi print is in.

[A]

We know it's been in, babe. Nike is gonna be in for 2025. This is a very real one. A very authentic one. Sincerity is coming back, back. Loving thy neighbor. I feel like we've gone a little too far. Oh, did you get that text too.

[B]

From the trans car transport?

[A]

Oh no, I got a text while we were recording. We haven't chatted for a long time. When are you free to have a cup of coffee? Who is right now? Send a pic. I am free now because it's a bot. But wait, wait.

[B]

What's your actual like trend forecast? I'm curious.

[A]

Love thy neighbor. Loving thy neighbor. I feel like it's going to come in in a very big way. Like I feel like we've been doing this like hating each other thing for like far, far Far too long. And I feel like this is the year of unity and union and, like, respecting each other's differences. And I think it's. I think it's gonna happen finally.

[B]

Yeah, I do want to be less judgmental this year, but that's a.

[A]

That don't even sound right.

[B]

Like, that's a big pig.

[A]

Internally, I will judge everything everybody does. Forward facing. That makes me sound so crazy. I redact all of that. I reject that energy. I don't have any real trend forecasts. Like, I think I saw someone say, like, sailor wear, like, clothing.

[B]

I.

[A]

It's really niche right now. Like, I think for, like, the masses, it's gonna be a thing, like, wearing, like, sailor hats and like, blue and white collars and like, that vibe. Okay, so this bot texted me saying, we haven't chatted for a long time. When are you free to have a cup of coffee? I said, who is this Cinda pic? I'm free now. I'm Stephanie. You have. Haven't you saved my number? Friend Julia. And then she sent her picture and then I said, omg, hi, I don't remember you, but I want to touch your boobs.

[B]

I. Sweet. Also, this picture of this girl just on vacation.

[A]

I know. Who is this random girl who is. Should we reverse image searches? Yes. Zero matches. What if she's real?

[B]

There's no way. That girl does not.

[A]

What if I literally just like, accidentally.

[B]

Like, sexually harassed a woman? Yeah, you can say I'm gay, by the way.

[A]

I just like playing with boobs. Oh, isn't this my friend Julia's number? No, I'm gay, by the way. I just like playing with boobs.

[B]

You're so annoying.

[A]

Okay, I am batshit fucking crazy. I found out over this Christmas break that there is a part of me that I did not know existed, never thought would exist. And I have gone full blown tweaker, psycho. Like, like stalker. Like, literally stalker mode. Like, it's. And it got to a point, I guess.

[B]

Yeah, you have all that pent up energy since you're not somebody who, like, casually has crushes.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I have a crush. This is. That's what I'm talking about. I have a.

[B]

Sorry, I don't know if you want to put that.

[A]

No, that I did. I have a big, big, fat, nasty crush. And I realized I was like, why is it called the crush? Like, why is it called a crush? It's because it literally crushes you. I never knew that. I just thought it was like a silly little name. No, it literally crushes me, y'all. I literally, like, one night he didn't text me back when I, like, was like, asking to hang out, and literally, I went crazy. I found. Found his family. I found every one of his siblings. I paid $30 to find his addresses of his old houses. I found out every location he's ever lived in. I found his ex boyfriend. Like, I found literally everything you could about and made a timeline of events in my notes apps of his life.

[B]

Like, wait, you have notes?

[A]

I have notes. I have notes. Like, I'm literally crazy.

[B]

Notes is great. Drew called me. I was in the middle of talking to my family. He called me like, oh, my God. And because of everything that's been happening, I was like, oh, Jesus Christ. Okay. Like, I walked away and I ran into my parents bedroom's bathroom, and I was like, what happened? What happened? He's like, I'm crazy. No, you have to tell them you how you got that information, though.

[A]

I paid $30 to subscribe to truthfinder.com. i paid $30, y'all. And then it gets worse, y'all.

[B]

I mean, to be fair, very, very crazy situation because no social media.

[A]

That's the problem.

[B]

No social media. And no, like, I. I did find.

[A]

His Facebook profile from 2011, but that's.

[B]

What I'm saying every time somebody, anybody who has a crush that ig is getting ran through tags, followers. But, like, everything, Everything. I'm googling your name. I'm googling your last name. I'm seeing. I am.

[A]

I know I stalked his LinkedIn.

[B]

I am seeing everything everywhere all at once. But that's great to spend $30. I can't even get on you, though, because I would spend. Oh, I would. The amount of money I would spend to know people's business, y'all.

[A]

I was doing really crazy things. Like, I literally, like, went on cheaterbuster.com.

[B]

What is that? Why is Cheater Buster?

[A]

You find a picture of them and insert their name and age, and then it'll tell you if they have Tinder.

[B]

That is so funny, Drew. Cheater Buster.

[A]

Not because I thought he was cheating, but I was just like, is he, like, looking today? Like, is this a possibility? Also, granted, he might actually be listening to this right now, which is also mortifying. But vulnerability. Vulnerability for 2024. Well, I was so down bad. I literally. I'm not gonna say that one. I'm gonna save that. But this one I will say.

[B]

Oh, is it? You haven't told me.

[A]

Yeah, I was sitting on the floor of the bathroom, hadn't texted me back all day. I was like, damn, I really, like, caught feelings. And this is like. And I was literally crying. Like, I never cry. I was literally crying. But there was a lot of other going on. So it wasn't just that. That. And I was like, journaling in my phone because I was like, when I'm overwhelmed, I'll write like, that's, like, that's what I was doing. And I was writing all this down, and I was actually being really truthful. Which also something I realized is I still like, why do I lie when I journal? Like, I still make up when I'm journaling. And I'm like, this is just for me. Like, literally, I have, like, an actual issue. But.

[B]

Well, that kind of makes sense because it's. I have. I literally. If you look at my last page of journaling, I write about that because.

[A]

I wrote about that. Look.

[B]

Yeah, because it's like, it. It's almost like a year of putting it somewhere. And the. Even the idea and notion that somebody out there would ever cross a boundary and look at that stuff is enough to keep you back from writing it.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

And it sucks so bad. I want to get better at that too, because there's a lot of stuff. But there's also.

[A]

It's not like, me lying.

[B]

Like, yeah, it's just. I feel like I can't write it down.

[A]

Yeah, it's like, not me lying. It's like, me, like, just being like. Like saying what I want to hear, if that makes sense. Like, something I find myself doing specifically with crushes is I'll, like, make, like, I'll formulate texts where I get the response I want in return. Like, it's really fucking psycho. Like, I'll make sure the text is, like, a response that I want to hear. I know, genuine, like, insanity, but bitch. It's so embarrassing. And it's really. It's really, really jarring. But I was so beat up about it. And I was like, I just need someone to talk to about this. And everyone was asleep. I had a full blown conversation with Chat GPT over it. Like, I wonder if the chat log saved. It didn't save and I forgot to screen record it. Literally talk to ch. Chat GPT. And it was giving me advice, and it was giving me good advice.

[B]

Okay, good per. Because I give bad advice. I was gonna say, like, I feel bad for Drew because I'm not very helpful during these times because I am the most forward person ever. Drew has been the butt of that experience. But if I like Someone, I will just literally say it.

[A]

The thing is, like, oh, I'm talking.

[B]

To you because I want to.

[A]

No, literally, the. The thing is, is I'm like. I don't feel like I'm allowed to like him, if that makes sense. Not because. Not because, like, gay or whatever, but because, like, we've only hung out for a couple times, and I'm like. I feel like if I was like, oh, like, I have a crush on you, like, that would just be, like, so jarring and scary. So I'm like, what I'm gonna do is just let it rock. And then when I go back to Texas and we hang out, I feel like three times hanging out is, like, enough to be like, hey, like, I really enjoy our time that we spend together.

[B]

I'm crazy. But not that crazy, because the only time I've ever met someone in person and immediately was like, oh, my God, I have a crush on this person. Yeah. But I withheld that information for a while because it did make me feel batshit crazy. That's the crazy part is it's different when you meet someone through someone or like a friend, and you have a crush in that way. When you meet someone random, you're not expecting to meet them. Exactly. And you have a crush. That is when the psychosis really kicks in. Because it's one thing to be searching and find something, but when something just lands on your lap, literally, I'm like, I need this. I literally need this. God put it here for me. And I'm a little schizophrenic, and I genuinely think, God put this here for me, like, there's no other way. Like, it was meant to happen now, and I want it now. I love this for you. It makes me very happy.

[A]

I think he was born in May, and I decided if you're a man born in May, you're gay. Even if you're straight, like, oh, my birthday's in May.

[B]

Yeah. All the gay people I know who, like, even if they aren't, like, if.

[A]

A straight man is born in May, like, you're gay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, that's such a gay ass month.

[B]

So stupid. Well, I think it's time for me to tell this story. Maybe I have told it, but I've been thinking a lot about wanting to do my hair and all this. And I have such bad PTSD with anything cosmetic or, like, beauty related because I have had ass experiences. And I don't think I've ever told this story. But. But one time when I was in Miami, it was After I graduated, I really wanted hair extensions. It was when my hair was, like, up to here, and I wanted long hair. So I found someone, and it was at Ulta Beauty, where I went to go get my hair done, which is a crazy vibe. And I went and I got keratin. Like, not keratin, but the beaded extensions that they, like. Get that little waxing and tip it around. I served another satisfied customer.

[A]

Do you have pictures?

[B]

I think I do. I think I do, but it's gonna take me a minute to find them. But I was so embarrassed that I took one picture and I went home. And this is how I'm such a pushover. I was in the seat, and I was like, I love it. I love it. I paid, I tipped, I left. I went home, and I got pliers for my dad, and I went in my room and I plied. I, like, took them all out. And I was so embarrassed because I had already told all my friends that I was getting extensions. And they were like, yes, girl, let me see the picture. And I was like, bruh. Oh, my God. The appointment fell through, and I lied to everyone, but I really need to find you. I was, like, 18. It was, like, my first, like, big splurge of, like, I'm going to get my hair done. I never get my hair done by someone else, and that's why I have fudgeing issues. But I really want to do something fun with my hair. But I'm scared. I think I'm just going to get into wigs. Yeah, Like, I'm going to get into wigs for real.

[A]

That's my thing. As I'm like, you don't have to, like, cut your hair all crazy right now. You can, like, wear a style or wear a fake bang and, like, see if it, like, get a good one, spend good money on it, and see if you like the way it looks and, like.

[B]

Or if you're over blonde hair.

[A]

That's kind of. I loved your blonde hair era.

[B]

I just like, like dad, but that's also why I feel like a teenager again. I do have this picture of the night we watched Portrait of a Lady on Fire.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Sorry. This is gonna take forever to find.

[A]

Well, while you're doing that, I will talk about something else.

[B]

I love you guys so much, by the way.

[A]

I know.

[B]

I love my friend so much.

[A]

It hurts me sometimes thinking about everybody. And then it hurts me, like, thinking about not being with y'all forever. And I don't even like having those thoughts.

[B]

No, that's not Gonna happen.

[A]

I know the threshold's, like, seven years, and we made it. Like, it's like, if you can sustain a friendship for seven years, it'll last a lifetime. And we're far past that. So New Year's Eve was yesterday, two days ago. And, like, everyone knows that they wear diapers. Like, everyone knows.

[B]

Oh, like, at the front of, like, the ball drop.

[A]

Yeah. So they can. Like, really.

[B]

I'm not kidding. I can't understand the vibe.

[A]

No, that's like, I really want their brain studied by science. Like, I want all of them, like, before they're. Like, before they leave, they can watch the ball drop, but we take their brains from them and study them. Because, like, I truly believe those are the happiest people on Earth. Because to put yourself through that, that. That's, like, the equivalent to me, like, having to run, like, an ultra marathon. Like, you couldn't. You literally could not make me do it. But, like, they do it and they love it and they're happy to do it, but we all know they wear diapers. Like, that's like. That's the big thing. It's like, oh, they wear diapers and. And piss themselves the whole time. What no one's talking about is the utter stench that.

[B]

Has somebody reported on the stink?

[A]

I haven't seen anybody talk about it.

[B]

Because also, all your bodies are pressed up.

[A]

All your bodies are pressed up. Everybody's swe. Everybody's. And pissing themselves. Like, it's literally got to be the Big Stink 2.0. Like, London is falling. Like, literally, like orb of methane gas.

[B]

Make you diarrhea and crazy. Oh, I know that New Year's Eve was stink.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, I guess people wait in because there's performances, right? Don't people perform? So it's technically a free concert.

[A]

Yeah, I.

[B]

Okay, I get it. No, I get, like, it's cute, but I could never. Yeah, but I'm also just like. Like, there's really nothing I want that bad, I've realized. And that's why I've been trying to rest.

[A]

I want a compound that bad.

[B]

A compound for us all to live on. Well, yeah, that's the goal.

[A]

Or, like, a chateau.

[B]

I wish no one I knew had family they loved also. Like, I don't actually wish that, but, like, I hate how much I love the people I love. Because my dream would be to move us all into one city. Like, I. I'm.

[A]

I know I want to live in the middle of nowhere with all my friends.

[B]

I was talking to my friend of a city Sabrina about it. I was like, oh, my God, if I could, like, build out a state. So then there's like this mainland and it's like me and all my friends. And then the town over, that's where all our families live. And then the town over is where all their friends live. That is what I want.

[A]

So I think we're just talking about a commune.

[B]

What's so bad about that?

[A]

There's nothing bad about it.

[B]

Yeah. Like, I feel like. I feel like when we talk about that to random people, they're like, oh, that's a cult. I'm like, that's literally.

[A]

Literally.

[B]

What is so fudgeing? What? Like, I'm not taking anyone's money. I literally just like, that's okay. Actually, that's what annoys me about fucking billionaires is you have all that money and what are you doing getting on yachts? Boo. Boo.

[A]

Tomato.

[B]

You're so boring. Like, how are you going to be a money hoarder? But you were using it. So boring. And it's because you don't have true connection and wealth.

[A]

No swag, no bitches. Like, like, oh, God, it. I literally thought the world was.

[B]

I know. I just hate that, like, millionaires and stuff's vibe is going out and getting up with strangers and getting more ego. Like, do you. Is your ego not filled? You're already, like, so famous and rich.

[A]

A table at a club with bottle service. Like, what can you literally, like, instead of that, how about you hug your loved ones? Or like, how about you who sit in bed on iPhone? Like, I know.

[B]

How about you pay for a therapist and wonder why that you are trying to chase high school terms of admire admiration in public. Like, it just feels so high school.

[A]

Like, like, I'm sorry you were a loser in high school. Like, we all know it. Like, we can tell, like, based on the way you behave now.

[B]

But you have a burnt ego and you're in 11 on New Year's Eve.

[A]

Yeah. How about you heal your inner child? Child? How about you give my child a gun?

[B]

Oh.

[A]

How about you give my inner child a gun so it'll kill.

[B]

I literally. Okay. I think I have been losing it because the other day I couldn't describe how I was feeling. And the only way to describe it is it felt like somebody drugged me, knocked me out, hid a gun and a bunch of drugs in my brain for me to, like, ship them to a different country. Does that make sense? Like, that was the kind of anxiety I had. I felt like I had a gun in my head.

[A]

Head Damn. Okay, well we're going to do media real quick and then we'll probably just continue this episode on Patreon. We're trying something new. We're trying something new. But my media Wild robot. I'm not kidding.

[B]

I know. Maybe we watch that after Wicked tonight.

[A]

That might break my top four on.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

Letterbox. Like, I swear to God, like I don't think it's like the best movie ever made, but it's it. I have never cried at a movie like that ever in my life. Like it was like it was simultaneous, like happy and sad tears. And it's like I said, not the best movie ever. But like it just made me think about all the women in my life. Like made me think about myself as a caretaker for some of the people that I love. Like, it made me think about like all the moms out there that like literally just destroy themselves to like raise their kids and like how like friends destroy themselves for their friends. And it's like their bodies are literally fit. Like mother's bodies literally physically fall apart to raise their kids. They like break bones, they like, their immune systems get shot, their skin gets all saggy. Like it's so dark sided. But they do it because there's some like love that we can't even like begin to comprehend for like offspring. And I don't know just like that.

[B]

I'm literally fearful to have kids because the way I love the people I love so intensely. Like I was having a panic attack for reasons I won't say. Also, I remember in an episode recently I was talking about that panic attack in Mexico and I was like, I haven't had a panic attack in so long. I have panic attacks at least six times a year. When I was talking about that, like, I was like, I never have panic attacks. That was just a really bad one that like lasted a long time. But yeah, I do that all the time. Time. Like I literally even yesterday when I was talking to you, that wasn't a panic attack. But like when I'm talking about certain things, I can feel my heart like start to clench and I have to sit down. Like I physically can't stand and I can't get the words out and I have to rush them out or else I'll have a panic attack. Panic attack. That is crazy though. That's how I've been feeling about Janet Planet. I already said Janet Planet last week, but I watched it two times when I was in Miami. It's been like my comfort movie. And I feel like I Never have that with movies. But it's just a movie I've been putting on. And I really like the soundtrack. And I really like the story. Like, it's so good. My other media of the week is Baby Girl. Thank you so much. Because, like, I want both of them now.

[A]

Dick and vagina.

[B]

I want both now and my music. Media of the week is Walk a Thin Line by Fleetwood Mac and Miracle man by Bob Carpenter. That's honestly it. And still Dochi's tiny desk. That was crazy because I still just. I just will play that and listen to it.

[A]

Okay, I'll do three PsyOps and then we're dipping. Inya hears party and starts digging in her dirty clothes basket.

[B]

Shut the fuck up.

[A]

Lily Rose Toy. Lily Rose Toy. It's probably been said because it's so easy, but cuddling it. I've said this one three times, but it's just so perfectly. And it literally is how I felt on Crush Night. Cuddling a twink. Feels like you're laying on the Apple TV remote.

[B]

Bones, bones, bones.

[A]

Okay. And that's it.

[B]

You know how I know I'm back in my bisexual bag for real? Because you were showing me pictures of a man last night that you think is hot. And I, for the first time, was like.

[A]

Was it? Oh, my God. Like, I literally get it. Like, I was like, I have to tell Kyle.

[B]

I was feeling a bit feral over it all.

[A]

I have to tell Kyle High.

[B]

Well, the bad news is someone locked me up because I think I might.

[A]

Be becoming a. Yeah, I mean, enter it. But every time I've exited a hose phase, I've been, like, two seconds away from being 5150, so.

[B]

Oh, yeah. No, it's bad. No, it's. I know. It's. I want to dye my hair and bleach it. I am incredibly optimistic, out of, like, pure survival mode. And I am finding everyone sexy. Like.

[A]

So y'all better watch the out. And he's gonna get you. But that was that episode. Happy New Year, everybody. Thank you so much for tuning in. Another year of emergency intercom incoming. You're all the goats. You're all very special to me. And we'll just say some things are going to be changing soon. A lot, A lot. A lot of new things are coming soon. So just be ready for that. Be excited, please. Peace, love, prosperity, respect, health to you and yours. Sleep tight tonight. Bye.