lets start a podcast

Summary

Emergency Intercom Podcast Episode Summary: "Let's Start a Podcast"

Release Date: October 4, 2024
Hosts: Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips
Podcast Description: Emergency Intercom is a comedic exploration of intense, albeit non-urgent, topics, delivered with humor and honesty by Enya and Drew.

---

1. Cryptic Pregnancies and Personal Views

Timestamp: [01:18] - [03:20]

The episode kicks off with Drew expressing strong negative opinions about cryptic pregnancies—a condition where a woman is unaware of her pregnancy until late in the term.

• Drew states, "Cryptic pregnancy should be illegal." ([01:18])
• Unnamed Podcaster adds, "A woman's life is suffering. Like, are you kidding me? I could just be pregnant and I don't know." ([01:29])

The discussion delves into societal perceptions and personal discomfort regarding unexpected pregnancies, highlighting the hosts' reluctance towards parenthood.

• Drew emphasizes, "I don't want kids. Watch me end up having kids. I hate kids." ([03:20])

2. Health Challenges: POTS and Mental Health Struggles

Timestamp: [03:20] - [07:00]

The conversation shifts to Drew's personal health battles, particularly discussing POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome), a condition affecting heart rate and blood pressure.

• Drew shares his experience, "I was really down, tremendously bad standing up... I have a blood or, like, a heart rate monitor that, like, checks blood pressure, too." ([06:29])

The hosts explore the emotional and physical toll of chronic illnesses, emphasizing the stigma and misunderstanding surrounding such conditions.

• Unnamed Podcaster reacts, "Boys deserve to have POTS." ([06:37])

3. Family Dynamics and Personal Relationships

Timestamp: [07:00] - [11:00]

Drew opens up about his family, revealing the loss of his birth mother and his close relationship with his stepmother.

• Unnamed Podcaster questions, "How old is your mom?" leading to the revelation that Drew's "wife" is actually his stepmom.
• Drew clarifies, "My mom is my Wife." ([02:34])

This segment highlights the complexities of family relationships and coping with loss.

4. Interactions with ChatGPT and Technology Humor

Timestamp: [13:00] - [15:00]

The hosts experiment with ChatGPT, attempting to elicit humorous responses by asking the AI to use "gay slang" and engage in playful banter.

• Unnamed Podcaster prompts, "Hey, can you speak to me in a very gay voice?" ([14:00])
• ChatGPT responds with, "Sure thing. All right, honey, let's spill the tea..." ([14:23])

Their antics showcase the blend of technology and humor, reflecting their dynamic interaction style.

5. Food Fears and Anxieties

Timestamp: [15:00] - [47:00]

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to discussing food, tinged with humor and underlying anxieties.

• Unnamed Podcaster laments, "Food is so weird. Like, I hate decision making when it comes to food." ([24:35])
• Drew expresses a deep-seated discomfort with eating meat, contemplating the ethical implications, "All I can think about was the life that they led before and how dark sided it was." ([25:00])

They explore various food-related topics, including:

• The sensory overload of certain foods and the emotional impact of eating.
• The commercialization and artificial enhancement of food products, such as artisanal chocolates.
• Personal struggles with dietary choices and the psychological effects of food consumption.

Notable interaction:

• Unnamed Podcaster jokes, "Mukbangs are devil worship." ([46:45])
• Drew adds, "It's like capitalism. Like, do you really need something to make you ice cream in your house?" ([22:04])

6. Mental Health: Anxiety, Depression, and Sleep Issues

Timestamp: [47:00] - [55:00]

The conversation turns introspective as the hosts delve into their mental health struggles.

• Drew shares his nightmares and anxiety, "I have been having so many nightmares recently... It is killing me." ([36:29])
• Unnamed Podcaster discusses persistent nightmares and social anxieties, "In all of my dreams, it's like me being completely embarrassed, humiliated..." ([39:10])

They discuss coping mechanisms, therapy insights, and the impact of mental health on daily living, emphasizing the importance of support systems.

7. Aging and Friendship Dynamics

Timestamp: [55:00] - [53:50]

Reflecting on growing older, the hosts express concerns about drifting apart from friends and changing personal dynamics.

• Unnamed Podcaster admits, "I've become just such a homebody... It's really sad because I used to make it a point to like fill my days with things." ([49:30])
• Drew reminiscences, "We used to do things. What happened to us?" ([49:36])

They discuss the bittersweet nature of aging, the evolution of friendships, and the fear of losing close connections.

8. Personal Insecurities and Compliments

Timestamp: [55:00] - [59:03]

The hosts open up about personal insecurities and the impact of compliments.

• Drew reveals, "I have a big, nasty, giant nose... Jonathan looked at me and he was like, Drew, you have a beautiful nose." ([58:13])
• Unnamed Podcaster counters with affirmative remarks, "I genuinely think you were like one of the most attractive people I know." ([58:53])

This segment underscores the vulnerability in sharing personal insecurities and the profound effect of positive reinforcement.

9. Final Banter and Outro

Timestamp: [59:03] - [68:24]

The episode concludes with lighthearted banter, touching on topics like grooming habits, emoji usage, and quirky personal anecdotes.

• Unnamed Podcaster jokes about OCD-related behaviors, "I do this thing where... I will literally, like, wash the inside of my nostrils." ([57:31])
• Drew engages in playful teasing, "You are the new Marina Joyce... People find you so confused by you." ([63:30])

The hosts end the episode on a humorous note, maintaining their characteristic blend of candidness and comedy.

---

Notable Quotes

• Drew: "Cryptic pregnancy should be illegal." ([01:18])
• Unnamed Podcaster: "A woman's life is suffering. Like, are you kidding me?" ([01:29])
• Drew: "I don't want kids. I hate kids." ([03:20])
• Unnamed Podcaster: "Food is so weird. Like, I hate decision making when it comes to food." ([24:35])
• Drew: "All I can think about was the life that they led before and how dark sided it was." ([25:00])
• Unnamed Podcaster: "Mukbangs are devil worship." ([46:45])
• Drew: "Life is a gift, and it's worth living." ([27:09])
• Unnamed Podcaster: "I genuinely think you were like one of the most attractive people I know." ([58:53])
• Drew: "You're crazy." ([56:55])

---

Conclusion

In this episode of Emergency Intercom, Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips navigate a myriad of topics ranging from personal health challenges and family dynamics to food anxieties and the complexities of aging and friendships. Their candid discussions, infused with humor and vulnerability, provide listeners with an engaging and relatable experience. Notable moments include their humorous interactions with ChatGPT, deep dives into mental health struggles, and the heartfelt sharing of personal insecurities. Overall, "Let's Start a Podcast" offers a blend of comedy and candidness, making it a compelling listen for those seeking both laughter and genuine conversation.

Transcript

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Drew]

At Designer Shoe Warehouse, we believe that.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Shoes are an important part art of.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Well, everything from first steps to first dates, from all nighters to all time.

[Drew]

Personal bests, from building pillow forts to.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Building a life for all the big and small moments that make up your whole world. DSW is there and we've got just the shoes. Find a shoe for every you from brands you love at brag worthy prices at your DSW store or DSW.com well, cryptic pregnancy should be illegal.

[Drew]

Ban them.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Ban cryptic pregnancies. That is evil. That is evil. Evil, evil. A woman's life is suffering. Like, are you kidding me? I could just be pregnant and I don't know.

[Drew]

That is the scary shit I have ever heard in my life. That, like, bitch, like people like party and drink and do.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Always my immediate thought when someone's like, yeah, I have a cryptic pregnancy, I'm like, that baby is going to need alcohol immediately. But that's also me assuming most people are just like drinking often. Like, maybe a lot of people don't actually drink that much. But I don't know. Like, I feel like cryptic pregnancies. I usually see it's like a younger person who has it. I'm like, I know that baby was at the frat parties. Like, that baby was out with y' all. Like, y' all need. What y' all were supposed to be doing was calling an Uber XL because there was an extra passenger that nobody the tea is.

[Drew]

Is like drinking while pregnant really that bad? Two podcasters get a mic and start talking.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Just start talking like you know it. Literally like a wine a day with like a glass of wine a day with your pregnant when you're pregnant is like, not that bad.

[Drew]

Yeah. Well, my wife drank a quarter of fireball every night. Your wife while she was pregnant with me? Yes.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Your wife while she was pregnant with me?

[Drew]

Yes. She gave birth to me.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Your wife gave birth to you?

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

And you're 18. Okay. How old is your mom? She's 18 as well.

[Drew]

My mom is my Wife. My wife.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

But, yeah, cryptic pregnancies are really, really creeping me the out. I would be so, so mad. I would feel so. But also, it's because I don't want kids. I feel like most people who have cryptic pregnancies, it's like, I didn't want to do this right now, but, like, I'm down for this. I don't want babies. I don't want kids. I don't want kids. I don't want kids. I don't want kids. I don't want kids. Watch me end up having kids. You're gonna have to see all this content of me being like, kids, kids. I hate kids. I don't want kids.

[Drew]

I think something is gonna click in your brain and you're gonna want kids one day.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

I don't know. The thing is, I feel like so many women I know have always had, like, a maternal instinct and have the women I know who want kids have always wanted kids. They never went from being like, oh, fudge, kids, to being like, I think I'm ready. So I don't know. Also, it doesn't work too, that all of my friends, for the most part, all of my homegirls are like, bitch, I do not want fucking kids. So, like, we're literally in the witches club. We're, like, literally all. Yeah, we're all evil witches who don't believe in having, like, offspring.

[Drew]

Damn. I want children then. Right.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Well, what's your birth plan? Are you going to do a natural birth?

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

I wish you could have a baby.

[Drew]

You're going to carry my child?

[Unnamed Podcaster]

That's the thing is, Drew's asked me that before, and I've been like, girl.

[Drew]

Hell, we would make awesome as babies, though. And you would have nothing to do with the child afterwards. I would raise it.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Are you allowed to take antidepressants and stuff while you're pregnant?

[Drew]

Yeah. Oh, but, like, no. Babies inside produce natural hormones that make women happier.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

I think the opposite.

[Drew]

The postpartum depression is the most diabolical shit. Like, women's life really is suffering.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

That's what I'm saying.

[Drew]

And it's suffering in silence.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Literally. The baby, like, sucks all of your life and juices from you. I will say, though, like, I do think motherhood is beautiful, but I just don't have a calling to it. But every time I see somebody, like, I either relatively know or just somebody in general with their baby, it makes me so happy. But also, I never got to have a mother, so I don't believe that I should be anybody's mother awkward. People get so confused. Cuz I say stuff like that, and then I'm like, my mom. And then they're like, wait, I'm confused. Is her mom dead?

[Drew]

Listen, set the record straight.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

There's layers to this, bro. Like, there's layers to this. My stepmom is my mommy. My birth mom is dead. Hope that cleared everything up.

[Drew]

I'm laughing.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Yeah. I'm glad it brings you joy. Why does my mom's death bring you joy?

[Drew]

I don't know. Just because I have you all to myself now.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Yeah. If Drew's ever sat, I'm like, oh, my mom's dead. And he literally starts jumping up and jumping around in his room.

[Drew]

That is literally not true, actually.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Yeah, it's not true. Because if you jumped out of bed and started jumping around, you would fucking faint and cry.

[Drew]

I know, bitch. I've been standing up and on the verge of fainting for the last, like, three days. And I have, like, a blood or, like, a heart rate monitor that, like, checks blood pressure, too. And I forgot why I got it. I just. I got it. Oh. Because my mom was. My older brother got diagnosed with, like, pots when he was, like, 20 or something like that. And it was around the time that I was, like, going through the same shit. My mom was like, pots. Like, I think it's called, like, post something. Tachycardia, like, orthostatic tachycardia. It's like your heart rate is just, like, naturally higher. And when you stand up, like, your high, your heart rate, like, skyrockets and like.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Oh.

[Drew]

A lot of girls have it, but boys can get pots, too. So my mom just, like, got me a heart rate monitor.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Boys deserve to have pots.

[Drew]

No, boy. Literally. Boys can have POTS to, too. Girls can have autism as well. It's not just adhd.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Oh, my God. Thank you for bringing awareness to the misdiagnosis of many women across the country.

[Drew]

I tore. I tore. I don't even remember what the.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Oh, that's why you have that stupid fucking monitor.

[Drew]

Yeah. And I was like, oh, let me. What was I even. I don't even know because you stand.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Up when you stand up. You almost fucking die every time you stand up.

[Drew]

Yeah. Oh, well, I was just going to go look for my heart rate monitor just to, like, see what my blood pressure was because it was giving, like, really, really low, and I. My BL pressure is really low when I stand up. And I couldn't find it, and Josh stole it from me and lost it, and I'm pissed About that. And then kai stole my 3/4 Jack.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Okay. Like, real stretch of something that was stolen.

[Drew]

And then someone stole my camera and didn't put it back. Like, everything I own is getting stolen from me.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Except your heart. No one can ever take that from you.

[Drew]

Exactly. But I didn't, I didn't get to test my heart rate, but I've been really down, tremendously bad standing up. Like, I, I. Last night I was like, watch this and I can make myself pass out. It didn't work.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

I got it on video.

[Drew]

Oh, you recorded it?

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Yeah, I want to watch it, but.

[Drew]

I could probably do it right now.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

I. Cool. Demonstration.

[Drew]

Okay. There was like. There was like 2% of what's been happening to me, but I don't have pots. I walked over here. There was a. There was a tinge. There was a moment. There was a moment. Exactly what just happened.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Exactly what you just said. You're always just like, I almost fainted. I was this close away. Have you. You fainted before, right?

[Drew]

Literally, like a mini. A times. Once I took too much. Not. I almost had tramadol, too much Trazodone. And I was laying in bed and my body got all warm and fuzzy and I was like, wait, what the is happening? Like, literally, what is happening? I've never felt like this before. And then my eyes started tunneling and I was like, oh, my God. Like, I think I'm passing out. So instead of just like passing out in bed, I literally thought I was like overdosing and dying. I like, stood up and ran around my bed and I had that fist, like that coral reef at the time, and right next to it was a trash can. And I like, literally collapsed into the pile of garbage. And I remember vividly being like, bro, like, I can't die in a pile of garbage. So I like, stood up again and walked down the hallway in my room and then collapsed, just. And like hit my head like really hard and bit through my tongue. And I was like, oh, my God. And then so I like, scurried on the floor on all fours to my sister's room. And they didn't fucking believe me. And so I like, passed out a third time on the floor of the fucking bedroom and just slept there until like 7am and like, I knew I was down tremendously bad because I was shirtless and nobody in my family had ever seen me shirtless. Like, actually, let's talk about that. Literally.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

That is insane.

[Drew]

I literally was not shirtless in front of anybody in my life from the ages of, like, probably 10. I'd say even nine to, like, 20.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Like, I feel like even until, like, the past, like, two years, I really never saw you.

[Drew]

Yeah, no. I literally was, like, so disgusted by my body. And I have this one very vivid of my dead brother. This is the reason why he died. It's because he said this shit to me. I'm not even kidding. Like, karma's a. Like, don't talk about my body, because you might die. But we were in a lazy river at, like, Great Wolf Lodge or some. I don't know what the it was. And we were just, like, floating down the river, and I was just minding my own business, and I was, like, just gaining consciousness. I was probably, like, 8 or something like that. And I was not aware of the evils that this world could bestow upon, like, someone. Like, I didn't know that body dysmorphia had it entered. Yeah, body dysmorphia hadn't entered the picture. Well, we're floating down this river, and my dead brother looks at me, and he's like, fuck, what did he say? I forgot it. He just looked at my, like, my love handles, and he was like, wow, you're packing on the pounds there. It's really hanging over the edge of your swimsuit. And he just, like, kept going in. He was like, the swimsuit is, like, really tight, so you can, like, see your, like, gut and your sides billowing over. And I was like, bitch. I was literally, like, 26 pounds at this point. Like, I literally was, like, tiny, tiny, tiny. But I was just, like, entering, like, early stages of puberty.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Wait, 26 pounds is tiny to you? That's crazy.

[Drew]

Is that big?

[Unnamed Podcaster]

That's when I was eight. I was literally, like, eight pounds.

[Drew]

Oh, my God. But, yeah, ever since that moment, I was hyper aware of my body. And then my brother died, and I was set free of the clutches of body dysmorphia.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

And you were able to be shirtless. Yeah, well, we've gotten too comfortable with each other. And at this point, I just walk around, like, shirtless.

[Drew]

Yeah. It's a vibe, though.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

It is. I get, like, on Sundays, I just, like, take my shirt off and clean the house, bro.

[Drew]

India tweaks out when she's goddamn cleaning. Her ass cheek will be hanging out. Like, her bra will, like, be halfway off. Like, her sweater down her shoulder. Like, she's basically half naked and she's fucking scrubbing the walls and shit. It's so tweet coded.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Literally, Like, I know what I look like. I look Like a crazy person. But there's just like, certain times where I'll be like, committed to doing a task and I'm like, if I'm going to commit to doing this task, I need to do it at its fullest. I need to not cut corners because I'm actually here. I'm really doing it. I'm committing to it. But then I just look crazy. Cuz I was literally cleaning the. The. What are those called? The doorway boards. The, like wooden borders, whatever. The. And I was cleaning the. Out of that while Drew was.

[Drew]

The blue banisters.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

The blue banisters. What is that like. I know, but before that. What does that mean?

[Drew]

Like, the banisters aren't that. Isn't that what you, like, pray at in church or some.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Two who don't know? We're like, oh, that didn't know.

[Drew]

Let me look it up.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Blue banisters just sounds like very patriotic to me.

[Drew]

Let's ask Chat GPT. Hello. Hey, can you speak to me in a very gay voice? I can definitely adjust my tone to.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Be more fun and lively for you.

[Drew]

What would you like to chat about? Breeze? What's up?

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Hello. Hey, what's up? Hey. Hey, how's it go? Hi there.

[ChatGPT]

Hi.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Hey, wait for that one. Hey there.

[Drew]

Hi there.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Nice to. Hey there.

[Drew]

Hey, wait. This is literally. This is me scrolling through the Winterland system. Let's talk about that. They like Wonderland. Yeah, they took their brain and put it in the Wonderland system.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Literally. Chat GBT is just the new did.

[Drew]

Yeah, Arbor. Okay. Like, hello. This app is a piece of fucking shit chat.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

I know.

[Drew]

It's together.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Like we've been playing with it and it's the slowest app ever. It's so annoying.

[Drew]

Hi, can you talk to me using gay slang only?

[ChatGPT]

Sure thing. All right, honey, let's spill the tea. So you know when you're serving looks, giving face, and just living your best life, it's all about that fierce attitude. Whether you're throwing shade or snatching wigs, it's all okay.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

You didn't even ask for all that.

[Drew]

This was a hate crime on, like, multiple levels. What is a banister?

[ChatGPT]

Oh, no hate crimes here. Just serving language realness. A banister is the handrail you hold on to when you're going up or downstairs. It's there to give you a little support and prevent any dramatic tumbles. Keep it cute and safe, darling.

[Drew]

Okay. That was terrifying. That was. I like that.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

He like, hears everything.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

For real, like every time we've played with ChatGPT I feel like we're doing a prank call.

[Drew]

Actually, that's what's annoying.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

We don't use it. We literally use it to, like, prank chatgpt. We're like, oh, we're gonna get him, right?

[Drew]

We're gonna get him.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

We're gonna get him to say something so stupid.

[Drew]

Let's play. Let's play.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Eat his shoes.

[Drew]

Hello. Hey. Can I eat your shoes?

[ChatGPT]

Well, that's a first. I think my shoes might be a bit too digital for a snack. Maybe try something a little more edible.

[Drew]

I'm coming out to my family very soon, and I need help. Can you, like, list me a couple things that would help me come out to my family?

[ChatGPT]

That's a big step, and I'm here for you. Here are a few things.

[Drew]

Use more gay slang.

[ChatGPT]

Got it. So when you're ready to spill the tea, find a fab time and a cozy spot. Get your chosen fam or a supportive bestie on standby for some emotional backup. And remember, Hunty, breathe and take your time. There's no rush on this Runway.

[Drew]

You just left me speechless. We're done for now.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

That's crazy. When you asking somebody like, how should I come out to my family? Is like, okay, so when you're ready to spill the tea, like, that's like that one clip of what's it called from Drag Race when what's her nuts and plane Jane, like, were talking about, like, her diagnosis, and she goes like, oh, what is like, that's your tea.

[Drew]

She. No, she said, like, a specific word like, that was so funny. Oh, what was it like? It wasn't fucking demure. It was thanks for spilling. Oh, yeah, thanks for spilling.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

That's what I'm going to say next time someone trauma dumps on me. I'm going to be like, thanks for spilling.

[Drew]

Thanks for spilling. Did you know Tyra Brain Branks, Tyra Banks? Oh, my God. Tyra Banks referenced. What was that scary, spooky, ookie movie we just watched the other day? Rosemary's Baby. Yeah. She was like, I specifically told you, Rosemary Baby for the hair and Rosemary's Baby. Mia Farrow and Rosemary's Baby. I'm literally gonna get that haircut. I think it's so funny.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

I thought I was gonna get when I got my pixie.

[Drew]

No, you looked good. You looked good. You look good. I'm telling you.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Like, when I see pictures of me when I was, like, 21, I feel like I was stuck in the Wonderland system.

[Drew]

Like, I was, like, really were when.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

I was changing my Hair all the time. That was me changing my alters that were fronting. And, like, the scariest altar that fronted was the yellow hair. She was.

[Drew]

That was a spooker. That was a spooker, dude.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

What's funny about that is, like.

[Drew]

Or orange, even orange was giving spooker vibes.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Well, when I had orange hair, I was, like, manically depressed, and now I'm normal.

[Drew]

Boring.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Now I'm normal. I got rid of my depression, and now I'm normal.

[Drew]

Well, I just realized, like, probably a few days ago that I accidentally might have poisoned me, you and Josh, like, on a regular basis. Like, I might have committed bio warfare in our house.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Me looking around, I'm like, no.

[Drew]

Literally, so early pandemic. Probably, like, 2020, 2021. I don't know why, but I became hyper obsessed with, like, growing bacteria colonies. Like, I literally would go around the house swabbing everything, and I literally just.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

In the midst of. Midst of, like, a virus pandemic. Yeah, it was like, how can I add to this?

[Drew]

How can I make Covid 3? So, basically, I would just swab everything, and I, like, would put these petri dishes with agar in, like, dark places and let them grow. And, like, after a week or something, like, they would be beautiful. I got everything that I ever wanted out of it. And then I put them in a very dark place for years and years and years and years. And I think they're still inside that cupboard over there. And I'm too scared to look because, like, I know that, like, I created some, like, really diabolical. And not only that, but that's, like, next to, like, the air fryer. That's next to, like, the juicer. Like, it's next to, like, things that we use decent. I don't. Air fryers, first of all. Like, let's have that conversation. Like, I really.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Well, you're, like, a bad take on it because you like your food cold.

[Drew]

That's what I'm saying. Like, air fryers. Like, I really tried. I really, really did try to get behind it. Like, my mom was like, oh, like, congrats on the new house. Like, let me get you something, like, to commemorate it. Like, y' all don't have a microwave. Me and you are anti microwave. It's not even on some, like, holistic health.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

It's just, like, the way they.

[Drew]

They look horrible on the fucking counter. And, like, also, like, on top of that, like, no, let's have that conversation. Like, we're putting, like, nuclear radiation into our fucking food.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Say that, like, our fridge isn't, like, actually about to explode in the middle of you talking. I'm not kidding. For a split second, all I could focus on was that.

[Drew]

That's.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

And last night I was really convinced, but this. This is like, a whole different part of my brain, so I know it's not real, but I was really convinced last night that the fridge was going to explode. And I was like. I came into the kitchen to get water, and I ran past the fridge, and I filled up the water really fast, and I ran back this way to avoid the fridge because I was genuinely convinced it was gonna, like, burst open while I was in here. And then hearing that sound just now, it's like, it's only a matter of time. There's something blocking something, and it's gonna explode.

[Drew]

It's the free.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Also, I convinced myself the other day that our water heater was gonna explode.

[Drew]

I do that all the time. Dude. Our water heater makes, like, the scariest fucking sounds I've ever heard in my goddamn life. It's, like, literally, like, it sounds like. What is it?

[Unnamed Podcaster]

It sounds like whatever pipe is, like, pushing all the gas to heat up, our water gets clogged, and I'm just like, it. It's only gonna take one second for it to.

[Drew]

Also, Josh has never once in his goddamn life cleaned the lint catcher in the dryer. And, like, I know for a fact there is a fire hazard waiting to happen with our dryer. But air. Back to air fryers. Fuck air fryers. But Ninja made one that, like, not the gamer.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Like, Ninja Creamy Creamy has fallen off also.

[Drew]

Fuck Ninja Creamy. Like, there's so many, like, weird psychological operations, like, deep seated, like, far down the pipeline.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

A kitchen appliance, a psychological operation.

[Drew]

It's like capitalism. Like, it's like, do you really need something to make you ice cream in your house? Like, actually go buy a pint. Like, literally just go buy a pint. Like. And I know that shit does not taste as good as y' all are saying it tastes, but Ninja made an air fryer recently that I was like, wait, I actually might need that because it comes. It's like a clear glass bottom, and you can.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

I think they stole that from someone.

[Drew]

They did. They did. They're literally just blue labeling appliances at this point. And it's working because, like, I want it, I want it, I want it. And you can, like, detach the cooking basin and then put, like, a Tupperware lid.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Food is so weird.

[Drew]

I know. Literally, food is scary. Food is weird. Food is crazy.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

I don't want to see food cooking. I don' want it. I don't want it.

[Drew]

See the thing I. If I see raw meat, if I see raw chicken or red bloody beef or a steak. Oh. Oh, God. Like, all I can think about was the life that they led before and how dark sided it was. Did you know grass fed does not mean that they were. That they're roaming a grass field and eating it means that they literally just dump grass grass clippings inside of these like giant dairy farms where their heads are locked up and they just eat grass and they're still being abused. It is so sick and twisted.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

I hate it so much. But like, I love chicken.

[Drew]

I really love chicken and I love a burger. Like, I love a good Internet.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

It's so up. But oh, in and out. I used to be an in n out hater and I don't know what switch this year but like now. And I don't like burgers because burgers make my hands stink, like for a long time.

[Drew]

Burger finger, burger finger.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

I'm not kidding. That's real. Like, I literally, like, my fingers smell like it. And like, there are certain foods that I eat that require a shower after. Wing stop is one of those foods. Like I. Because I get like barbecue Wing stop and I feel like, oh, that's it goes through all the cuts on my finger for me biting my nails and it's like in my bloodstream and I need to go shower and like open up my pores so I'm not greasy.

[Drew]

By the way, y' all my hair is wet. I like wetted it right before we started wetted it what it is.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

But yeah, food is really scary. And also we're not saying that in like a nasty fucking ed way. Like, don't play around, don't play. Food is just so weird. Like, food like I hate. You know what it is? Like, I've been talking about it a lot. Like, we've been talking about it this week, but I've been talking about it with my therapist about, like, I just hate decision making when it comes to food. And I think that's why I like.

[Drew]

It'S because everything hurts. Our stomach.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Yeah, everything hurts, dude. Literally yesterday my stomach hurts so bad from eating these random chicken wings.

[Drew]

Wings. Chicken wing, chicken wing. Chicken wing. Chicken wing. Hot dog. Chicken and macaroni chili with my homie. You're my homie.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

But yeah, food is really creepy. We saw this fucking TikTok that I was like, this is literally me and.

[Drew]

Drew, literally when I'm eating food. All I can think about, specifically meat. All I can think about is, like, the mutilated corpses of, like, the dead critter that, like, lived the saddest, most drab life ever that I'm just, like, eating on. And it was, like, it was someone's child. It was potentially someone's mother and father. Like, the one food that I cannot get behind. I don't know. I think my mom made me think like that because, like, she's. She does not eat meat.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Well, I will say sometimes when I get, like, chicken wings. Okay, wing, stop. You need to get your. Together, because sometimes your chicken wings come with, like, a little feather on it. The second I see that. Oh, the things you've lied about. Like, get that out of my fucking face. Are you fucking kidding me? This shit was alive and, like, fucking clucking around, and now I'm just, like, sitting, watching RuPaul's Drag Race high as fuck, eating it like that. Oh, no, that's. The demonic part is, like, we sit in your bed and we watch, like, a guy making a terrarium full of animals, and we're just, like.

[Drew]

We're, like, eating said animal. I'm, like, crying. Like, food is so scary.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

No, the. The, like, lifespan of a chicken being like, kept in a cage and then sitting in my living room and watching RuPaul's Drag Race while eating it is crazy.

[Drew]

It's honestly beautiful and poetic. If you think about, like, their last moments were enjoyed watching a Gaga video.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Like, that is true. Okay, I can't find.

[Drew]

Literally melted in my stomach by acid and grinded with calcium bo.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Oh, this is it. Forcing myself to be alive. Food is so normal to me.

[Drew]

I do not regularly get panic attacks. Everything is okay.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

This is, like, the first thing I've seen that I'm like, this describes you, mine and yours existence so perfectly.

[Drew]

The first line. The first line.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

What?

[Drew]

Let's break it down.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

I'm not forcing myself.

[Drew]

I am not forcing myself to be alive.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

I am happy to be alive.

[Drew]

This. This life is worth every second, y' all.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

It's a. It's a gift.

[Drew]

It really is a gift. Like, unironically. Unironically. Unironically. Life is a gift, and it's worth living. Listen to this tea. If you're thinking about killing yourself and you're gonna write a letter, the people you're writing the letter to are your reason to fucking live. Like, that's the reason. Like, if you have to ride a leather. If you have to ride a Leather. A leather satchel of sorts. Maybe a fountain pen with a gold tip.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

What the fuck are you talking about? No, but seriously, again, I can't express enough. It's not even on like an ED tip. It's literally, I think it literally. Oh my God, I'm gonna have a stroke. It has to just be like add bound where food is just so overwhelming. It's so overwhelming and I just hate it.

[Drew]

Like the thing is having to cook. Like, are you kidding me?

[Unnamed Podcaster]

What's crazy is thinking like about when I used to cook a lot. I was making mush. Like I'm not India was. I am no wife material.

[Drew]

She was eating cottage cheese with pounds of mustard squirted on top of it.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Well, okay, that was cuz that one from Tik Tok who made that look good as.

[Drew]

And it was good, I'm not going to lie.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

But yeah, I. I wish I just had the brain of like a mukbanger.

[Drew]

See, I could easily get there. That's the thing. If someone. This is all I need to become like a foodie. Is someone just picking the food for me. That's it.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Oh yeah. That's what Rain was saying to me. Because I, me and Drew are people who are always like, I'm not a foodie. I'm not a foodie. But Rain is out. She is such like well rounded person when it comes to food. Like, she like, like picks really good places. She eats really good food. And every time I'm with her, I feast like a.

[Drew]

She literally treats you so right. She's like the man of the relationship. Like the way she's like, oh, let's get this. And I'm like, oh, that like literally like alleviated. That made my, like that made my kitty purr. Like in a way. Like.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

No, it's literally if we had somebody who was just like giving us the food, we would not think food is weird. But it's like I don't have the brain power for it. I hate, I hate when someone's like, what should we eat? Like, what do you mean?

[Drew]

Like, just pick. Just pick. I'll find something. Like literally just.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Oh my God. It like actually drives me crazy. But that. That's okay. That's okay.

[Drew]

Something that has been driving me absolutely insane recently is chocolatiers. They have not elevated their craft or.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Their talk about this.

[Drew]

No, their, their art, their craft. Like if I have to see one more paint splattered chocolate bar like that. Oh my God. It literally drives me like elevated pink.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Splatter is the Laziest excuse for art I have ever seen. I'm so sorry. If you own one of the Margiela shoes with the splatter and paint I want. I don't give a about history. I hate them. Like, literally. What are you talking about? You destroyed a leather good with like.

[Drew]

But for the love of God, like, I am begging you, elevate your craft. Like, I am tired of seeing green and gold splattered chocolate bars.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Like, also the gold. The gold when it comes to what.

[Drew]

The fuck are we talking about? And you know, it just tastes like alcohol. Like, it's literally just like alcohol. Like, they just like dilute pigments with alcohol.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Mica powder and alcohol.

[Drew]

It's like pissing me the fuck off. Like, I was literally sitting on the couch with Josiah like writhing in anger scrolling through this chocolatiers like TikTok accounting. I did buy something because it looked good as. But it was not one of the goddamn chocolate bars. No, but I. With his content heavily. I love his content. It was just this random lady that was like making chocolate bars and then she pulled out that goddamn paintbrush and started spattering like paint all over the top. And I was just like, okay. Immediately I'm gone. Like, I'm canceling my order. I'm gone. I don't need to see that. I don't need to see that.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Have you been getting the push of those sour gushers?

[Drew]

Oh, yeah.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Okay.

[Drew]

I want.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

That is crazy. That's literally just gushers and bath salts. Like, it's literally like, it is the least appealing candy I've ever seen. Like, usually with like the chamois and like tahin ones. Like, it's kind of like melted down and onto the candy. Like, it looks very appealing. It looks like. It looks like the two pieces are like coming together and making something. The gushers and bath salts is crazy because literally all that's happening is the bath salts that are the like sour parts of it are just absorbing all the moisture from the gushers. So it just looks like wet. It looks like if somebody was eating a bunch of them and had like spit on their fingers and kept digging in and then everything just got a little moist.

[Drew]

I want them so badly and my mouth is watering thinking about them.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

I don't think I like sour candy.

[Drew]

You really don't?

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Yeah. Like, sour candies aren't my vibe, but I just don't like. Like I have the kind of stomach that like that kind of sweet. Like, I like gushers, but I can have like 5 gushers before my stomach starts to hurt really bad, and it's just like that over sweetness makes me really nauseous. And I think that's why I, like. Like, when it comes to chocolate, if it's a milk chocolate, it's like a Reese's, because there's, like, a saltiness to it that, like, balances it out.

[Drew]

My gas station order has got to include a bag of hot chips of any kind, a sour candy, a chocolate candy, and a soda. But the sour and the chocolate is, like, non negotiable. You can't have one without the other because, like, there is simply, like, a balance to this. Like, there's a yin and a yang, and if you have one without the other, it just simply does not work. It's not a good night. Do you know what I mean?

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Yeah, I. I do agree with you, but also, like, I don't know. Like, I. I would.

[Drew]

Have you ever drank a soda just, like, without having, like, anything else along? Like, have you ever drank a soda just to drink a soda without having a meal? Yeah, I don't think I've ever done that. Like, literally, actually, that is, like, the biggest lie I've ever told, because I.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Just go in the refrigerator, soda through the day. Yeah, but you don't, like, have a full soda. You, like, take sips of a soda. But, no, like, my favorite is the mini cans of Coke. Like, that I will have alone. But I can't finish, like, a full can of Coke without a meal. But I just, like, bro, we have.

[Drew]

To stop talking about food. We've talked about food for literally 45 minutes. Like, damn, can we shut the up?

[Unnamed Podcaster]

I was being like, food is so gross. But, oh, my God, Candy and soda process, literally, like, five years old.

[Drew]

Well, look at this.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Well, I think it's. Oh.

[Drew]

Oh, what are you gonna say?

[Unnamed Podcaster]

I was gonna say, I think it's diabolical that cats don't live longer. Like, it just makes no sense. Like, so many animals live for so long. Why can't cats just live longer? And I know there's, like, a thing you can do to make them live longer, but I don't need it that bad. Like, like $35,000. Like, that's. Oh, that's crazy. You're putting a number on life.

[Drew]

It's like, that one dude like, oh.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

But I love Azul so much. And he's getting old.

[Drew]

He's gonna. Oh, my God, he's gonna die soon. Did you know this? Will has 30 minutes. He has 30 minutes?

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Yeah, 30 minutes. Seven years old.

[Drew]

He's young. Don't say that. Don't say that.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Azul's like middle age.

[Drew]

He's older than us. He is. Azul's a. Azul sucks.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

But, like, at night, when a lay on me, like, on the couch, that specifically Azulus, we were talking about this. She's such a specific kind of cat. Like, she wants to be comforted in a very specific way. Like, she's not a lap cat unless I'm on the couch. When I'm on the couch and we're all sitting around, that is the only time Azul will, like, beg to sit on my lap and just sit in my lap for hours. But in bed, she will not lay on me. She has to be, like, next to me, but she doesn't want to be too next to me. But that's also because I accidentally kicked the out of a zool all the time in bed. Like, literally this morning, he'll, like, go from up here to, like, like, near my feet. And every morning when I kick my feet out to stretch, I literally just like him off the bed. So I abuse my cat.

[Drew]

That one dude, the guy that invented the lifelonging cat medication is no different. And charging $35,000 for it is no different from Martin whatever his name is. Scarelli, the dude that, like, bought HIV or AIDS medication and then and commodified it. It made it thousands of dollars. And I think he did that with insulin too. Maybe it's also.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

I don't know if it's most evil person. I like the same thing with Narcan. Like the administrator to, like, so that narcan can be inhaled through your nose. That machine is, like, patented, and that's why it's so expensive. I don't know if it's changed, but, like, that's why. It's like $50 for a pack. Or maybe I haven't bought Narcan in a long time.

[Drew]

I thought that was cheap.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

I carry.

[Drew]

Buy a Narcan and put it in your purse and carry it around. You never know. No.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Yeah. For a two pack, it's 45. It's like, incredibly expensive. And I think that's so up. I just carry Narcan in my purse. Literally. Not for anybody in our group, but just when we go to parties and stuff. I just like to have it because I'm also schizophrenic and I'm scared of somebody dying around me because that's my biggest fear.

[Drew]

Speaking of Narcan, why is Drew Phillips bungee jumping video low key serving Saddam Hussein. Hi. Hiding spa.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Well, that's Happy fall, y' all. Happy fall, y' all.

[Drew]

Isn't that crazy?

[Unnamed Podcaster]

I love that. Like, that meme is so south park coded to me because to, like, pick the gayest narration voice and be talking about, like, Saddam Hussein's hiding spot. It is so South Park. Oh, my God.

[Drew]

God is good, y' all. Yeah, Well, I had a dream. Not a dream, a nightmare. I've been having so many nightmares recently. I don't know what the fuck is going on in my head. Like, literally, I took a nap in the middle of the day and had the worst nightmare of my life up until that night. Later that night, I had it topped it, but I don't even know what the fuck happened in my nap dream, but I was in, like, Mary Antoinette's, like, Versailles, like, Castle, like, and I was just, like, trotting around. I had a knife, and I was just, like, running around killing everybody. Like, I was just stabbing people, and I didn't want to do it, but I just kept, like. Like, just, like, cutting.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Watching that Navy SEAL video.

[Drew]

Oh, my God, dude.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Drew showed me this video that scared him as a kid, and it literally made me laugh so hard. And it's from Deadliest Warrior, and it's like, a Navy SEAL guy stabbing, like, a ballistic dummy. And he said he saw as a kid, and it made him so scared. And I'm like, this is liter the most ridiculous ever. That video is so funny and ridiculous, and humans are insane people. Like, yeah, humans are ballistic.

[Drew]

Yeah, ballistic gel bodies. But in that same dream, I woke up in my dream next to my mom in, like, my childhood home. Like, I woke up in bed next to her, and I got out of bed, and I walked around, and there was, like, 30 cats all around us. And I walked around to the other side of the bed, and my mom was sleeping on a vape, and I went to, like, grab the vape, and she was like, what are you doing? And then I just, like, woke up. Like, it was fucking weird as shit. And then later that night, I had another dream nightmare that woke me up. I've never been woken up by, like, my body being in such terror and fear. And I was, like, literally woken up out of my sleep with my heart rate, like, at, like, fucking 200. And I was, like, sweating profusely. And it took me, like, an hour to get back to sleep, and I already only sleep four hours a fucking night, bitch. I can't sleep past 6am it is, like, killing. It is killing me. I think I'M actually going crazy.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

We have the complete opposite, like bodies in terms of sleep.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Like I can just sleep for ever. It is so bad. I just sleep. Also, as you were talking about nightmares, I don't have good dreams. I only have nightmares. I literally all of my, like, they're not always like, like destructive, like awful nightmares. All of my dreams are only like me being completely embarrassed, humiliated, dehumanized, like embarrassed. Like all. Every dream I've ever told you about, it's like me in a situation where it's just me anxious and uncomfortable. In all of my dreams I never have a dream where it's like, that's so funny. I was like, I don't have like the magic carpet dreams where it's like that one video of the guy like flying around. Like what my dreams look like. I don't have that. Mine is like I was around people who I assume hate me and they were making fun of me and I had to just act normal and act like I didn't give a fuck. And it was awful and I was being chased and then they saw me naked and it was so humiliating and one of them took a picture and like that's literally what my dreams look like.

[Drew]

Mine, I have good ones, like amazing dreams. Like the best dreams ever. But my dark sided, twisted fucking brain will conjure up the most evil shit. I will never forget my friends and family being literally lined up in front of me with like chains around their hands, like behind their backs and at their feet one by one being set ablaze like, oh fuck no, we don't need like melting, like oh, we don't.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Need to get into it. But I think like it is really scary how because I like, I feel like this year I've had more nightmares. But this year I've like had really bad anxiety and I think that's part of it. And then my like scariest dreams I've ever had, the time frames in which I had them. It kind of very curious what was making make happening in my life. Like any. Like, I can't even talk about it. Like the dreams, the dreams. Oh my God. Recently I had it. The last time I woke up crying from a dream was when you died in my dream. And it was so.

[Drew]

So did I drown? Like in a car?

[Unnamed Podcaster]

No. I don't really remember how you died, but I remember in the dream that's.

[Drew]

Gonna be a reality.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Saw you die and like, like or I don't think I saw you die. I think I got the news and it was just like Even the news of it. Like, I. I couldn't. Like, oh, my God, I don't want to talk about it.

[Drew]

Like, so special.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

All I can think about, too, is, like, in. I need to finish it. But in Joan Didion's book, which one is it? Year of Magical Thinking, when, like, she kind of remarks how death is, like, the most human thing that you can experience. Like, it is the most grounding thing, but it's like, the most reality bending. Like, oh, okay, I can't, guys.

[Drew]

No, death is.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

I'm literally gonna freak out. I'm literally gonna freak out. I'm just.

[Drew]

Well, let's watch this random video. I have no idea, but it's of us, and I have it in my notes to talk about there's actually gonna.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Be a female president next year.

[Drew]

Leaked info. Girl, what the was that?

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Next year, something big is happening.

[Drew]

That was insane. Insane.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

What if Joe Biden dies next year? And I'm the one who predicted that.

[Drew]

Are you saying you're going to be president? No, I'm saying Kamala Har the way you lowkey predicted that.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Y' all better make it happen so I could write a book. Y' all better make it happen so.

[Drew]

I can write that. Make that happen. Make that happen. Oh, my God. I'm, like, sweating because my hair is wet.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

I'm sweating so bad. I sweat really bad when I'm on the podcast, and then I get really embarrassed because, like, a lot of times you can see my sweat stains. But, like, I'm just trying to show you all that, like, hot girls sweat a lot.

[Drew]

Look at this curl.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

I know it's very. I almost said it's very geriatric, but, like, you're not old. Oh.

[Drew]

It'S so bouncy, bro.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

We need to do something about our hair. We look to be like, I need bangs or something again, but I feel like bangs would make it work.

[Drew]

Just wait. After big announcement at the end of the year, I can cut my hair, and I'm gonna do something drastic.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

It's like Nikki tutorials, when she's like, time for my hair review. And then she, like, changes it, and literally, she added, like, a little pink stripe or something. Like, I don't even know what she did.

[Drew]

It literally was, like, one shade darker in the shade range.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

She's like, I've done something crazy. I would love to do something with my hair. I'm gonna get a haircut tomorrow. And I hate. It's just a hair trim, but I hate getting haircuts and hair trims. Cuz I'm so obsessed with my hair. Like, I want my hair to be longer, but I'm starting to realize, like, I don't think my hair can get any longer than it is. Like, I'm pretty sure most people have, like, a certain length their hair can get. Granted, my hair is curly, so, like, when I straighten it, it looks a little longer, but it's like my hair isn't curly enough that there's that big of a difference, at least in my eyes. But when they. When I get a hair trim, I feel like someone's stealing my hair. Like, it's like they're taking my hair. When I got a haircut for New Year's, like, the top of this year, I got a haircut and I up and I didn't tell the girl that my hair was naturally curly. I went in there with straightened hair and I was like, I need a hair trim. And she didn't wet my hair. She gave me, like, a dry cut first and then wet my hair. And I could see how much she cut off. She cut so much of my hair off. I literally left there and I felt like my hair got stolen. Like, I literally felt like someone stole my hair. Like, they took my hair. That's what I feel like when I go to a hair salon. Like, they're just. I'm paying them to take my hair. I'm. I'm paying them to take something that's.

[Drew]

Me at a nail salon. When they cut my nails, I feel powerless. Like, I'm literally, like, why? Like, I literally lose, like, 10 of my power.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Dude, I need to get my nails done so bad. I've been biting my nails so bad.

[Drew]

Chomping on.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

This is, like, the worst it's been.

[Drew]

In a long, bloody, battered and bruised.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

I don't know why, though. Like, I think my brain is just moving and I, like, have to bite on something. I literally might become one of those people who has, like, a chew toy on my necklace. Like, I'm not even playing. I lowkey just need something because it's mainly when I'm at home at night. That's when, oh, the biting begins. The biting begins. So I need to, like, have, like. Or when I'm working on my laptop, I need, like, something to chew on while I'm doing that. Maybe I'll pull a lucky blue smith and start chewing on.

[Drew]

Have you seen that clip of them eating gross food? Yeah, it's killing me when also the.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Gross food in question is like, a cinnamon roll.

[Drew]

They're like, I know when Nara was like, this is my first time having Cinnabon and ate it. And she was like, that was nasty. I was like, you are not real. Like, that's cr. That is a crazy take. I get it. I get it.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

I will say, I don't think I've ever had Cinnabon. I've had Auntie Anne's, but I haven't had cinnamon.

[Drew]

We need to go to crumble cookie. Oh, my God. I want crumble cookie. I've wanted crumble cookie for, like, the last cookie for, like, the last weekend.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

I just. I can't get behind crumble cookie. I've never had any of it and been like, oh, it's just. But that's also because I'm not, like, a sweet girl. Like, I like my snack.

[Drew]

You didn't like the waffle with cookie? Oh, me. And rain those up. Like, they sat on the counter so.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Bad because, like, I hate, like, when somebody's excited about food and it's, like, not hitting for me. So I, like, took a few bites, but I tried. Like, I went and got another snack to eat because I'm just like, this is not my bot.

[Drew]

No, I need crumble cookie. I need Cinnabon, and I need Auntie Anne's or Auntie Anne's.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

I think I'm just like. I'm like a texture. Okay, we can't keep talking about food.

[Drew]

I know. Damn. Can we shut the up?

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Like, dude.

[Drew]

Like, oh, my God. Well, yeah, we can't.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

And mukbangs are devil worship.

[Drew]

No, literally, Okay. I saw this guy talking about how mukbangs have become like. Like, you have been captured by the devil. Like, it at this point, like, it is pure gluttony. It is a sin. Like, the demonic. It is demonic energy. Like, once you see those goddamn black gloves come out, like, the black, like, latex gloves, you know, they're possessed by a demon.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Like, all I'm saying. Oh, my God, it's gonna make me.

[Drew]

Throw up with the sauce. And we're still talking about food.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Somehow the wet chipotle bowls.

[Drew]

I know it's good.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

I know it's disgusting. Okay.

[Drew]

When they make the sauce.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Okay, that looks yummy. The thing is, I don't trust chipotle because I've thrown it up multiple times from being sick from it, and that's all I'll say. Oh, okay, we're done. We're done with the food talk.

[Drew]

Mukbangs. There's. There's a way to do it, but it gets to a point that's what I'll say. It gets to a point where you're doing a lot.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Okay, well, something is happening. Yes, I. Something's always happening. What's up with the nostalgia predicting. Have you been seeing? That is people being like, this is like, we're gonna look back and like, think about summer 2024. Like, people already predicting that. I'm like, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys. Live in the moment. Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please. Don't talk about the future. Don't talk about the future. The future doesn't exist. The future doesn't exist. That's the thing is like, I don't know if we just have the brains that. Because we were just like depressed mongrels and we're like, not.

[Drew]

I wasn't supposed to live.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Yeah, I, like, I didn't expect to be alive this long. And I'm very grateful that I am. I'm very grateful I met the people that I did in my life. Became much, much better. But I can't, like, think about the future. I can't stand when a is like, what are you planning?

[Drew]

I don't know, to be alive.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

What are you talking about? Like, oh, my God. I like. But also my brain is just broken. And like, we were even talking about travel plans for summer and both of us were like, damn, should we, like, book that though? Because are we going to be alive? And I was like, what are we talking about? Like, literally, what are we talking about? But I'm just like, constantly fearful of my mortality. So I don't like to think in the future because I'm like, you can't plan for that. Like, who knows what's going to happen because I'm crazy.

[Drew]

The trick to conquering your depression is to give yourself something to look forward to. Order that shirt, order that, whatever.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Any parcels.

[Drew]

Like, Enya has been parcelless. It's like genuinely shocking. I've been getting parcels. I got. I just realized I bought that camera for nothing.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

No, you didn't. Because we can use the. Out of that. That's like a really good camera to have.

[Drew]

I guess I don't leave the house though. Like, if you look at the camera roll, it's like it's like 86 shots.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

You know what? That's been mine too. It's been making me really sad. I used to, like, go out and like, explore the world.

[Drew]

We used to do things. What happened to us?

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Well, because we became like anxiety induced homebodies. It's really sad.

[Drew]

Like, we really used to, like, just go places. And do things. Can we like actually like tomorrow just drive to Big Sur?

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Not tomorrow, but we could go on Wednesday.

[Drew]

Let's do it. And let's invite Barbie.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

That'd be actually so sweet.

[Drew]

Wouldn't that be fun? I'm texting her.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

But yeah, I. I've become just such a homebody. Like, I have separation anxiety from the house now and it makes me really sad because I used to make it a point to like fill my days with things, but thankfully I have friends who still like expect.

[Drew]

Oh wait, no, she's doing her big, like big one.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Her big relax. I mean, you should still just like invite her to invite her because that's kind of a relaxing like retreat and we wouldn't be doing anything serious. But yeah, I. I don't know. I don't know anymore.

[Drew]

Yeah, something. Something needs to change.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Something literally just shifted.

[Drew]

There actually might have been a shift.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

I felt that, but I feel kind of like good about the shift. I don't know if you feel that.

[Drew]

I. I actually do too. Like, I think that we are crazy. No, I feel, I think talking about these issues, y' all. I don't think y' all understand how bad my rut. Reclusivity has gotten. I've just started writing scripts. I'm so bored.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Like, I think it's kind of happened to our whole group too. Like our whole friend group. It's just, we've all just become like. Yeah, we like are people who. I think at which this is is funny to say because obviously there are people who like, whose jobs are much more demanding. But I think like, we all just got kind of like super involved in our own work and we only have like such crazy. I think it's because our work entails such a social aspect to it that like now continuing social lives outside of it is really difficult for all of us. So we've all kind of just reclused away. And it's also just like getting older. Like it's so.

[Drew]

It's growing so crazy.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

I'm like in that in between spot where I'm looking at a group and I'm like, oh my God, we're like, we're doing it like we're all getting older together and that makes me really happy. But then I'm like, oh my God, I'm turning 26. You're turning 27. Like Orion's 28. Like, yeah, 18. Sorry. I always forget there's a 10 year age gap. But like all of us are like growing older and it's like so it's so weird, but it is. It is nice.

[Drew]

I remember one time I laid on the floor drunk as in Orion's lap, sobbing, Literally sobbing, thinking about not being friends with y' all. It was literally like. And she was like, girl, what the is going on? And it was what I needed to hear at the moment. But I was literally just like, we're all getting, like, older, and, like, we're, like, changing, and, like, we're gonna drift apart one day and all this. And then she was like, okay, no, we're not. Like, chill the out. No, we're not. But, like, there just is just, like, a natural, like, distance that, like, happens over time. And, like, people get partners and they do their thing. Just scary.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

It's scary, but it's sweet when we all come together still. It's like, oh, like, when we went to Josie's house, I was like, oh, my God. I haven't felt this feeling in a while. We're like. It feels like we're kids again, and it's really sweet. Oh, my God. Getting older. We're having growing pains. But also, like, I feel kind of fine about it. I'm just, like, in a weird transitional period because just I'm scared.

[Drew]

The shakers and movers are shaking and moving. Yeah, that's the thing that's happening is, like, there's a lot of shaking and moving going on, and there's not a lot of news and media reporting the shakers and movers, because, like, where is the news in the media?

[Unnamed Podcaster]

The news. And can you believe they're still making content?

[Drew]

That's like.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

That's beautiful.

[Drew]

That's amazing. That is a love story.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Also, like, that almost goes to prove to you when, like, something isn't as profitable, it just. Just stays a passion, and you continue to do it because it's literally a passion. One last thing I'll say is, I de gaff about cookies. I will be accepting cookies till the day I die.

[Drew]

One thing about the computer.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Yeah. One thing about me is I will be accepting cookies. They make it like, I'm just. I don't give a.

[Drew]

They made it too easy to give away your information so you don't even think about it anymore.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

I know. Like, I just don't give a. Also, it's, like, too complicated to, like, go through the checklist of what I will accept and not accept. I'd rather just accept all the cookies. Like, what are you gonna do, email me? I don't give a. Like, I'll just, like, unsubscribe and and put you in the spam folder. Like, I don't give a. But actually, there was something the other day that I was like, why the are you texting me about this? Like, I. No, I'm on both ends where I don't give a. About cookies. But also, why the are you texting me about, like, underwear? Like, I don't need you to text me as a reminder to buy more underwear. Like, are you crazy? I know I need to buy underwear, but I actually do need to buy more underwear. I need to buy new bras. Like, none of my fits fits me. I think I'm gonna get a breast reduction. Yeah, I'm gonna get a burst reduction if anybody cares. No, I'm not. The thing is that. Oh, that just sounds like so much work. Like, stuff like that sounds like a lot of work. Like, that's like, I why I can't get my nails done. Because for some reason, sitting in a salon for two hours feels so daunting.

[Drew]

Leaving the house, I'm just like, bro, it is a job to leave the house. And I might just, like, low key, be severely depressed and not even realize it it. But, like, going out into the world, like, okay, cool. Like, I'm gonna go spend 70 bucks. Like, cool.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Yeah, I'd rather just stay home.

[Drew]

Like, I'd rather literally just rot in bed and use my phone.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

But then once it's like 5pm and the sun is going down, I'm like, I've wasted the sun. The sun. I need the sun.

[Drew]

I didn't see the first time in a very long time. I got that feeling yesterday where I was just like, oh, my God. Like, I haven't left the house in, like a week. The only time I left was to, like, get skin care.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

You know how I know my medication is working? I've been wearing this shirt for over 24 hours and I don't give a.

[Drew]

That's.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

That's crazy. That's crazy. And I didn't shower yesterday, but, like, I stayed home all day. I don't want anybody to call me gross. I'm not gross. But I have good news. Everybody who via the podcast said I had ocd. Congrats. You were right.

[Drew]

You were right.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Congrats. You were right.

[Drew]

And you got her diagnosis.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

I got diagnosed with a plethora of beautiful labels. Thank the heavens.

[Drew]

And now you know. And how has your life changed?

[Unnamed Podcaster]

There's still little things. There's still little things that aren't the.

[Drew]

Knocking on wood it was Will, I think, be with me till the Day I die.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Yeah. I don't think. I cannot do it. Like, it's.

[Drew]

And even saying it, I'm like, I have to do it if I say it.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

My psychiatrist told me that I should just write a list of things that I know I still do and that I can recognize that I do. But I was like. I literally said. I was like, talking on wood won't kill me. And he was like, yeah, but you're like. That's how it becomes, like, a bigger thing. And I was like, you're crazy. You're crazy.

[Drew]

You're crazy. You calling me crazy?

[Unnamed Podcaster]

You're crazy, but it is.

[Drew]

You're crazy.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Oh, my God.

[Drew]

No, you're crazy.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

I still do have to wash my hands a lot after I eat certain things. Like yesterday, those chicken wings really, really, really stained my fingers, and I washed them, like, five, six times, but the smell wouldn't go away. And then I do this thing where. Okay, this is a bit crazy to admit. I do this thing where, like, sometimes when my fingers. I feel like they still smell like food, I will literally, like, wash, like, basically the inside of my nostrils because I'm convinced that, like, from putting my fingers here, I. I've stained my nose, and sometimes it works, and then other times, I just, like, get a bunch of soap suds.

[Drew]

Because your sister mentioned once about a Big Mac staining your upper lip. Well, it's.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Never forget her upper lip. You know what? Maybe she also has ocd.

[Drew]

Yes. Yeah. Not to diagnose, but possibly also. It is crazy how certain compliments that I have gotten. I don't know how I got to this point. Point. But Jonathan one time said to me, I. I very rarely get compliments. Like, very rarely. I pass them out. I love telling people they look good. It's like my favorite thing. It's just catching. Catching them off guard and seeing them blush a little and like, oh, what? It's my favorite thing in the world to do. I don't get that in return. But one thing.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

I compliment you.

[Drew]

You compliment me. You compliment me. But one thing that I said or that Jonathan said to me, me, literally changed my life forever because I have a big, nasty, giant nose. But Jonathan one time looked at me and he was like, drew, like, you have, like, a beautiful nose. Like, you have a perfect nose. And I have been living off that compliment for literally three years. I am not exaggerating. And then there was one other thing that someone said that I was like, oh, my God. Like, but the. The same goes for the opposite direction. Like, there Are certain things that people have pointed out that. That literally haunt me. They haunt me. And I want to. Oh, I won't say. I won't say. Cuz people can't know my insecurities.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

I'm not kidding. I genuinely think you were like one of the most attractive people I know.

[Drew]

You mean it.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Like in an alternate universe, we were supposed to date.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

I'm very glad we didn't. Like, I'm very glad we didn't. We would. Because we would kill each other. We would. We would be the who are fist fighting behind closed doors. Like we would would start hitting our.

[Drew]

IGs would be popping.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

My IG story would be full of like, I love him so much. No, it would be like, you, I'll kill you and Fiona Apple. Like that's what my ig story would be.

[Drew]

Call the cops. I have sex with them.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

But yeah, we were supposed to date. But like thank God we didn't. That's how I feel about like. So I know who I'm very close to is like there was a world where I was supposed to date that person. I'm like, thank God.

[Drew]

Oh, thank you.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Would have killed each other.

[Drew]

Drew side up corner now though. Okay. I didn't write any of these down. These are all straight pulled from my email, so keep that in mind. This is from. And I accidentally doxxed someone last week. So I'm not. I'm not gonna say last names anymore. But Suzanne, you know who you are mother should have named. Oh wait. Damn, I'm so bad at reading bro. Like. What? I really don't know where it went wrong. Like I don't know where it went wrong.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

The thing really smart. I think you. It's not like a. It's not.

[Drew]

My brain is.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

No, you. I think. I genuinely think you have dyslexia. But again, we're sitting here like diagnosed.

[Drew]

Her mother should have named her 12 because she doesn't cook, doesn't clean, doesn't do anything. That's literally you. Anya leaves. You can tell how long Enya leaves dishes in the sink by how many mugs are in the sink. And we are on day 14 right now.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Fuck off.

[Drew]

I'm kidding. No, no, I use. Okay. This is actually gross to me.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Yeah, I was gonna say you're disgusting.

[Drew]

I have used the same Mason jar to drink my concoction every morning for the last like month.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

And like I've cleaned the Mason jar cuz he drinks chlorophyll out of it and I've literally washed the green away Multiple times. And then at this point, I don't clean his mason jar. Cuz I'm like, dude, it's literally.

[Drew]

It's like seasoning a coffee.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

No, you're like a. You're like the. The kid kids who like are pheromone maxing.

[Drew]

Oh yeah.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

With your cup. You're breath maxing.

[Drew]

Breath maxing. This is just a certified classic from fat.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

I've never smelled your breath and been like, your breath stinks period. Have you ever smelled my breath?

[Drew]

I mean, you've smelled my breath on. On everything. On God. I haven't. There are certain people that I have and I will not name names.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

I feel like the worst my breath can be is like it smells like coffee.

[Drew]

The worst my breath can be is after I eat cheese or milk. And like three hours later, like that's like the worst.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

You never smell your breath though. And we began in class close as.

[Drew]

We like snuggle embed. And this is from @fab.dtla underscore on Twitter. This is just like a certified classic. Ew. She the weed man for weed. A. That's the text man for text.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Valid.

[Drew]

Very valid. I hate when I tell someone I'm gonna be there in 10 minutes and they're calling me every half hour.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

That's literally me.

[Drew]

Wait, I just got that one. I just got like, I just got that. That is literally you. If she drives a Honda, there's a ho ho in duh car. Josie, the cloth I'm cut from is sold out permanently.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Shut the up.

[Drew]

Why tornadoes never hit banks. Blow some money over here, motherfucker.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

I think I've actually seen in a one of the tornado videos I watched that a tornado did hit a bank and the only thing left standing was the safe. And everybody hid in the safe.

[Drew]

They. I think that was the grocery or the cooler at the gas station.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Oh, it was. It was.

[Drew]

It was smoking butt naked and just dropped some of the blunt on my balls. I scrum so loud. Scrum.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

How are you supposed to say I screamed?

[Drew]

Scream. I think I screamed. That's what I would say. I screamed. Ask. I'm gonna start saying I scrumped. Can't wait to tell your business. That's why I be lying. You thought it was tea and the whole time it was piss. You thought it was tea the whole time it was piss.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

The term lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off is so crazy because that's insinuating that like lying is less fun than sex with a man. And I Got bad news for the most part. Lying is way more fun.

[Drew]

This is a banger. How are you gay and can't dress? What the were you doing the whole time you was in the closet?

[Unnamed Podcaster]

That's a really good one.

[Drew]

Yeah, that was Marina.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Marina Joy.

[Drew]

Marina Joyce, y' all. We need a new Marina Joy really badly. Like, we need. Need someone that, like, the. There is one.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

You are the new Marina Joyce. Like, people who don't know you, who find you are so confused by you. It's so awesome. I wish I had that. But people who don't know about me and find me, they're like, oh, this is. But the only thing they don't know is that I'm actually really funny.

[Drew]

The one thing they don't know is that I am celibate.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

You're so brave. That would be my biggest issue. It's like, I actually know at this point, I don't give a about sex. Like, it really is true. The older you get, the less you care about sex. And I'm sure for most people, like, for a lot of people, that's not the case, but I couldn't give a About having sex. Like, it is not something that, like, wait, crosses my mind. Ever.

[Drew]

Having a porn addiction is gay as.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Like, how the are you addicted to watching someone else get like, hello, hello, hello, you're gay. You nasty. If you take your cup in the bathroom and let the doodoo air get on it. That's India with her coffee in the morning, bro.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

I don't give a. See, that's how. Whatever. That's how. I should have knew it was ocd because I. That, like, that doesn't apply to me. That just makes no sense.

[Drew]

Okay, that's all I got for y' all. Shout out to.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

When is. Oh, new emojis available?

[Drew]

Oh, yeah, we just pushed the new update. We just pushed the new update for Drumoji. I don't think y' all wonder Moji.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Bad enough I use it all the.

[Drew]

I know everybody I can see how many Drumojis have been used, and it is crazy how many. Like, literally everybody I've sent it to uses it regularly.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

I, like, love it. Literally yesterday I was texting my sister, and I was being, like, crazy, and I was, like, saying a bunch of stuff to her, and then I ended it about the fall. Oh, no, we gotta glue that. Oh, her wing is broken.

[Drew]

It's so sad. Her Victoria's Secret wings. Yeah, I think I'm gonna. Is the Victoria's Secret fashion show still happening?

[Unnamed Podcaster]

I Think so. Okay, you're gonna get your wings, right? I need to send it your emoji to Orion. I miss Orion.

[Drew]

All right, everybody. Mama. Mama. All right. Oh, oh, oh. Bodies, parts.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Oh, wait. What the hell? Wait, where's my guy?

[Drew]

He's at the bottom. Very last time.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Oh, that's my favorite one. I love that one. This is my favorite. Oh, my God. Ew, my hand is disgusting. Don't look at my nails, please. Oh, I love that one. I love you.

[Drew]

I love you.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

You make me so happy.

[Drew]

You make me so happy.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

You. There are, like, few people who, like, when I think of them, like, I literally get, like, like, bursts of love. Like, I literally get a. What is it called? That couple that was, like, love surge and they were, like, freaking out. I get that because I have that with, like, you, Josie, Orion, Rain, Josh, Lucas, Christian. Like, all people I think of, and I'm like, oh. Like, I'm like, I love.

[Drew]

That's my bab. That's my baby.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

But like, with Josiah, it's, like, different, sadly, like, with you and Josiah different. Like, oh, Josiah is my son. But, like, like, not really, but, like, oh, like, I love Jos.

[Drew]

I love him.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Oh, I love my friends. All right, well, thank you guys for watching. I'm gonna. That's like, literally my ritual is we do the podcast and then I.

[Drew]

And I go non verbal for four hours.

[Unnamed Podcaster]

Bye.

[Ryan Seacrest]

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