Loading summary
Ryan Seacrest
Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and safeway now through June 17th. Shop in store or online for your favorite personal care Items and save $5 when you spend $15 or more. Stock up on items like Dove Body Wash, Degree Motion Sense Deodorant, Tresemme Hairspray, Dove Shampoo, Dove Bar Soap, Dove Men's Body and Face Wash, and Dollar Shave Club blades. And save $5 when you spend $15 or more. Hurry in before these deals are gone. Offer ends June 17th. Promotions may vary. Restrictions apply. Visit Albertsons or Safeway Dot.
Drew
Hello? Hello.
Enya
I have an Archeric beanie on. A lot of people don't even really know what arc' teryx is, and I.
Drew
Think it's a popular brand.
Enya
It's. It's a very special brand that a lot of people, they don't know about. Like you were saying. And it's a really expensive brand.
Drew
I was saying I think a lot.
Enya
Of people don't know about it. Yeah, exactly. So. And it's a really, really expensive beanie I have on.
Drew
Oh, that's cool.
Enya
Thank you.
Drew
Do you know anything? Like, can you give us any anecdote, little facts about the. The brands?
Enya
Like, no. Oh, I don't know about. I buy. Oh, what was I gonna say? Oh, don't talk about me wearing this shirt again so soon.
Drew
When did you wear it? I don't know.
Enya
Not you then. Because I know they're gonna have some slick to say. Oh, Drew wears the same thing every episode. Yeah, I'm saving the earth. What are you doing buying a bunch of landfill? No, I wear the things I buy. I wore it, like, two weeks ago.
Drew
That was long enough ago. Well, you just get, like, offended now because everybody thinks you have, like, three pairs of shirts. I like three shirts and three pairs of pants.
Enya
I mean, yeah, no, everybody's toxic to me lately. Stop talking about me.
Drew
Oh, my God. I thought it like, you loved when people.
Enya
No, I love when they talk good about me, but when they start, like, saying slick somewhat. Someone had a full on dissection of my body. My archetype. Oh, I know what it feels like to be a girl.
Drew
I was just about to say now. You know, everybody's always like, why is Anya so angry? Like, why is she yelling at us? That's why. Yeah, I have to see people say.
Enya
Things like that someone had a lot to say about my body. Things that I am very, very insecure about, which. Don't play with me. And then on top of that, I saw an entire conversation about my penis. Size. We all know I have a giant fucking wiener. Like, it's. I'm hungry.
Drew
You have to, like, you have to really explain this to me because were they saying you had a small penis or a big one?
Enya
They just. Someone said Drew has a big penis. That's hilarious. And then there was a full on argument about me having an extremely average sized penis, which. Don't fucking play. Just don't talk about my fucking penis. I get to talk about my penis. Y' all don't get to talk about my penis.
Drew
I never needed to hear you. You say like penis that many times.
Enya
Penis, penis, penis, penis, penis.
Drew
And that's how we get the yellow check on our video.
Enya
Exactly.
Drew
We get that.
Enya
Oh, that brings me to my next point. I went to Best Buy because Kai stole. He stole. He's a thief. He's not here.
Drew
This is the second time Kai has just randomly left town and taken our stuff with him. He. So he. What he's doing is he's coming into the house, taking things and then leaving for an extended amount of time. So by the time he comes back, we forget that he's a thief and we let him back in the house.
Enya
So he stole from us. He stole SD cards. And you bought two SD cards. But one of them didn't work for our audio equipment. So I had to go to Best Buy to buy a micro SD card. And I was shopping around Best Buy a little bit. I've been wanting to get a Samsung phone for a long time. I want the flip one or the fold. The Samsung flipper fold. And so I was playing with it for a little.
Drew
Imagining you in a Best Buy alone is really freaking me out.
Enya
Yeah, no, it was.
Drew
It was a very simple imagine you anywhere alone. Like when you went to Rite Aid and you ran into Petra and she sent me. She sent me a picture of you and I was looking at it. I was like, oh, my God. When he's out there, he really is just out there. Like, he goes outside and he's alone.
Enya
No, I stay outside. For real. Like, we're outside. We're outside. Okay. Right. One thing about Enya is she's gonna make sure the lighting's okay.
Drew
I don't have my glasses on, so I feel like I. I can't see.
Enya
But it looks fine.
Drew
So you were in Best Buy?
Enya
Yeah. And I was gonna get one of those Dyson fans. The one that do the heating, the cooling and the purification. Yes, I do the cooling, dicing. Be like. But then I also want one with the humidifier. Dyson just make a fan with hot mode, cool mode, humidifier and purifier and sell it for fifteen hundred dollars. People will buy it. Actually, no, they won't, because you've been.
Drew
Looking at the one you're talking about for four years and you refuse to buy it. Because nothing like that is something that shouldn't be that expensive.
Enya
Yeah, but anyways, I was looking around and then I went back to the phones and I was playing with the phone and I was like, huh? Like, I just want to play around with this for a little bit. So I went on YouTube to look up just anything and I was like, oh, I'm curious about the emergency intercom channel, what it looks like on here. Looked it up. You can't find it on the Samsung phones when you look it up. And then I looked up emergency intercom. You can't even just look up emergency intercom. And then I went through the YouTube page and I couldn't find it until I clicked someone's re upload of your PowerPoint video that we did like years ago. And so then and there in the recommended was our channel. I clicked on the video. You can't fucking view it. And so I went to the channel and you can't fucking look at the channel. And it's because it is because it's.
Drew
Like a phone on the floor, so they don't want kids to have access to stuff. Damn, we're that bad.
Enya
Yeah, look, I even like took a picture of it. You can go to the channel, but you can't fucking see the videos.
Drew
Well, it's because we opened the episode with you saying, stop talking about my penis. Penis. Penis.
Enya
Well, no, that's very valid. Stop fucking talking about my dick and balls that hang between my fucking legs. Massive dick and balls, might I add big.
Drew
I seriously like hate that you have those body parts. Like, I can't stress that enough.
Enya
I hate that you have a vagina.
Drew
I was gonna say, when I was 14, somebody commented on the vine of me and my siblings in our bathing suits and said, damn, she's packing about me. So.
Enya
Well, you reclaimed. They called my because you're hung big. And yes, Anya has a hung coochie.
Drew
Okay, we don't have to get into that. The older I got, I used to talk about it a lot. And then I realized, like, people will be perverts about anything and that's huge topic to be pervy about. Like, they literally sell fake camel toes on Amazon. Like, you can buy underwear that has padding to give you like a Huge camel toe. Because it's like, a huge kink.
Enya
People, like, see, that's that. I don't need to buy like, that because just, like, anything I wear, you can just see.
Drew
You should probably buy something to put in your pants for when you do gray sweatpants challenge.
Enya
Yeah, Gray sweatpants challenge. I went to the. Nevermind. We won't get into that. But I look like the day I went out, by the way. And then I ran into Petra, and that was so embarrassing. And then on top of that, she asked like, oh, what are you picking up? And she probably thought I was, like, gonna say, like, oh, my. Like, depression meds. Or like, oh, like, I'm getting this medication. Yeah, Percocet. Like, something chill. I was picking up colonoscopy prep. Oh, like, oh, my God. If that doesn't work, I swear to God, y' all will never see me again because I'm gonna kill myself. I'm gonna kill myself.
Drew
So, yeah, Drew it to the doctor, and I know you guys are probably like, oh, my God, like, you recorded the episode, the Halloween episode so long ago. We literally recorded the Halloween episode basically on Thursday. So it has been that long. Drew went to the doctor and suck.
Enya
My dick and balls. I can do whatever the I want with my body.
Drew
Drew, people just like you.
Enya
They're my word for you. They're making me insecure recently. So chill out. Chill out.
Drew
You guys keep talking about me positively, good about myself.
Enya
Like, keep talking about me positively.
Drew
You guys have been so like, oh, my God, she's so hot. She's gorgeous. And I'm just like, oh, my God, stop. I mean, no one's. No one's calling me funny.
Enya
They're like, oh, Drew doesn't take care of himself. Oh, Drew's so annoying. Oh, Drew has an average penis. Oh, Drew's body is disgusting.
Drew
What really bothered you?
Enya
No, what really bothered me was someone called my body disgusting.
Drew
That's mean. Your body is hot.
Enya
I have a disgusting body. I know I have a disgusting body.
Drew
That's not true. I would have sex with you. No, I wouldn't. But that's because you're. We don't have to get into that.
Enya
I got cupping done, y' all. I got cupping done on my back, and no one warned me that it was literally the most painful thing I've ever had.
Drew
Now I'm scared because I've always wanted cupping done because I'm like, oh, that sounds so nice. Like, us. Like, just, like, a bit of pressure and like. Like, is in my head there's like, heat involved. And I think now they use this ones where, like, they put a, like, thing to. And they're like a tire pump.
Enya
Yeah. It's for the people that don't know cupping is when you go to the masseuse and they fart in their hand and they cup it in your face like that so you have to smell farts.
Drew
Yeah, it was bumps on your back.
Enya
Yeah. Because it's shit particles going into my fucking bloodstream. No, I. It's when they, like, put all those cups on your back, and then they basically give you giant hickeys. But I didn't know it hurt as bad as it hurt. And I know you're probably like, oh, you're being such a little. Like, it didn't hurt that bad. No, it literally hurt because, one, she, like, suctioned them, like, way too much. I think it might have been her first time doing it. Two, she left it on.
Drew
The sauce parlor we go to is, like, pretty janky.
Enya
It's busted as. No offense.
Drew
I love it there, and I'll always go. But, like, I've had, like, people who give me massages there who are literally just like this.
Enya
Like. No, they, like, pet you. I had a massage done there one time where they, like, literally were doing construction above my head, and the ceiling was putting dust all over my back. And when I flipped over and looked up, dust was falling into my eyes because people were doing construction upstairs. Dust during my peaceful massage.
Drew
Also, I've been there before getting a massage, and one of the workers was in the room next door watching, like, De La Nolas on their phone, loud as. So the whole time I was getting the massage, all I heard was, like. Like. Like, literally, like, it was some, like, silly show. And I was like, cool, cool. Okay, I'm not relaxed.
Enya
That's Captain Cooked.
Drew
Arg.
Enya
I'm Captain Cook.
Drew
Ew. I hate the arg.
Enya
I'm Captain Cook.
Drew
Why did they make that the sound for pirates? Like, what the does that have to do with argument?
Enya
Oh, what is it?
Drew
I don't know.
Enya
Look that up while I finish telling this, because I didn't. One, she sucked the out of my back. Two, she left them on for, like, 25 minutes, which is far too long. And I swear to God, like, when she was, like, taking them off by the end because she did half of my massage first, then she put them on, and then she just left the room for a little bit, and it hurt so bad. I, like, had tears, like, forming in my eyes. And then she started taking them off 20 minutes later, and she got one off, and then she moved to the second one, and she tried to get it off, and she shook it a little bit, and it wouldn't fucking come off. And I wanted them off so bad at that point. And I started, like, internally panicking, and then she couldn't get it off, and she left the room for, like, three minutes. It felt like my skin was, like, ripping so bad. And then she started taking them off, and, like, there were, like, four specifically that were hurting me so bad. She left those ones for last for some reason, and I was like. I almost was like, hey, can you get this one off?
Drew
And.
Enya
And then, like. But every time I moved, it, like, ripped my skin a little more. It was so miserable.
Drew
I really curious. I want to go to a different spot and get cupping and see if that's how it's supposed to be. But I feel like there has to be one of y' all out there who's, like, a cupping fanatic who could tell us if that's how that's supposed to feel. But I feel like we would know. Like.
Enya
Like, it shouldn't hurt.
Drew
Like, that hurts.
Enya
Yeah. Like, I mean, afterwards, like, Let me finish. So I, like. She starts, like, wiping my back down, and I guess there was liquid coming out of my back because the rag was literally, like, neon pink, which was fucking crazy. And she just laid it next to me, and I was like, what the fuck just happened? And I swear to God, y' all, my back was like. Like, I thought it would help with my back pain because my lower back hurts all the time, like, 24 7. Literally just like, a dull pain. And then, like, when I walk around a lot, like, my left leg hurts really bad. And that was happening recently because we, like, went to, like, Halloween. So I was like, oh, maybe this will help out Halloween. Yeah, maybe this will help out a little bit for me. Or maybe this will help me out a little bit, y' all. It made my back pain so much worse. Like, literally did not help me at all. It felt like I had bruises all over my. All over my back, because I literally did. I'm gonna insert the picture right here.
Drew
Like, that was the craziest thing. She went down to his butt crack. Like, you had one straight on, like, half your crack. I was like, damn. She was. She was trying to suck the poop out of you.
Enya
No, she was really trying.
Drew
She was like, this man's constipated. I'm gonna suck.
Enya
No, I had to warn her. I was like, by the way. I'm like really constipated. Like, please don't. If you like touch my stomach, don't go hard, cuz I don't want you to perforate my colon.
Drew
I swear to God, she's gonna do like a zit popping video, but with your colon.
Enya
But that picture is gnarly. It's really fucking.
Drew
I know. Are you going to like blur your butt crack or just show the world your crack?
Enya
I mean, like crop it out.
Drew
Oh yeah, that sucks. I wish you guys could see his butt crack.
Enya
No, because they'd probably think actually I might not even fucking put that picture up because someone's going to have some fucking shit to say about my nasty fucking gross body.
Drew
Apparently. Oh no, no apparently. Well, I found a guy on Tick Tock whose whole thing is like this really shitty. It's so dark. Did you look up, like pictures to see how dark the cupping spots were supposed to be when you finished?
Enya
No, I didn't.
Drew
He probably should have. Because I wonder if, like, what if that is. But there's. I'm sorry. Actually, no, there's just no way it feels like that. I feel like people would be like, just got copied, done. I'm in so much pain. Like, people are like, I'm so relaxed.
Enya
I was definitely being a bitch. Like, it definitely is not that bad. It's not as bad as I make it sound, genuinely, but it hurt me.
Drew
Also. Pirates didn't really say ark. Like they don't know that some bitch was just like me. Mayday. It literally became popular in a random film. It became popular in the film Treasure island in 1950, but nobody knows why the fuck he did that. He just took his own kind of like, no one knows why they were singing. They kind of just decided to sing. But I found a guy on TikTok whose whole thing is like this really stupid trick where it looks like he takes his torso off and like walks.
Enya
Oh, I saw that.
Drew
That's his. Do you go through his page? That's his whole gag. That's literally his whole page. And what was he doing? I think he was at, like, I.
Enya
Just saw him walking down the street and he did it.
Drew
I saw a video where he was doing stuff. Some. Like, it was like a paid promotion and like he was like the act for some show. It was like the opening of a basketball game or it was something like that. Like some big event. He was there, he did his trick and I was like, okay. Weird. Like, I wonder if he got paid to go and do that. Like, what else does he do? And I went through his page. That is quite literally all he does. And once I find a page like that on TikTok where there's somebody who's like super popular, it's like Zach King. Is that the guy's name? The magician once you're down.
Enya
Video editor.
Drew
Yeah. Or what?
Enya
He's not a he.
Drew
Like not a magician.
Enya
He's, he's a, he's a video editor. Like, like.
Drew
I'm sorry. Once you are posting Tik toks via a dslr, it's time to pack it.
Enya
I know. We don't need to see those pores. We really don't need to see.
Drew
I don't want to see this sharp ass video on my iPhone. I'm supposed to see like degenerate like stuff, stupid comedic videos that were supposed.
Enya
To be your phone. Yeah, exactly. Your phone is taken out of your pocket, you record the video and you upload it. Like that's what I want to see.
Drew
That's the magic of TikTok. It's like on vine when people started doing that on vine. Do you remember at the end people would start uploading DSLR content and it just made no sense. Like it looks video 8k video on Vine.
Enya
They've been doing that on TikTok recently. Like 160 frame video or whatever frame per second video and it crashes iPhones. Have you. Did you ever get that? Yeah, they like there's like videos that they uploaded on TikTok that only Androids could see.
Drew
We haven't had the text that crashes iPhone in a while. Like has iPhone just fix their shit that you can't just crash someone's phone like that anymore because Remember that text that would literally just turn your phone off?
Enya
Yeah. We made need to make that the title of this episode because the word or no. The text.
Drew
The text.
Enya
Yeah.
Drew
Because it was literally just like a bunch of symbols.
Enya
It looked like star, like a shooting star. Yeah, they. I think they patched that like almost immediately. But that shit was so fun. I had so much fun texting people. Could you like tweet it and then like crash everybody's.
Drew
No, I think that was the thing because I got mine from Twitter. Like somebody had uploaded it to Twitter and that's how I found it. And I copy and pasted it from there and started texting it around and I literally sent it to easily like 20 people in my iPhone. I was like I'm literally turning all of yalls phones off, especially people who weren't texting me back. I Sent the. Out of that. Like, if you weren't texting me back, I was sending that to your phone.
Enya
Get crashed, bitch. Oh, literally, the iPhones would be like, crash out. I'm having a crash out the iPhones after getting that text. Oh, I'm crashing out. Damn. Damn, I forgot. Damn, I forgot. Damn, I forgot. Damn, I'm crashing out.
Drew
Wait, what is that? What were they asking her? How many.
Enya
How many side equal sides is an isosa? These triangles have none.
Drew
How many corners does it have?
Enya
No, it was.
Drew
How many sides.
Enya
Yeah, Equal sides. And she was like, none. And then they're. Damn, I forgot when she said three.
Drew
I see. I really can't get on her because. What is it two? Is it two? I can't. I don't even know. Yeah, okay. Yeah, it's the two, like, top ones and the bottom one is different. Okay, but you scared the fuck out of me because we just. We just presented. I saw these triangles recently. If you're a constant watcher, a consecutive watcher.
Enya
I can't remember what I did, but I'm killing isosceles triangles now.
Drew
You're killing them? Yeah, because it was Mary kill. But I don't remember my answers. Oh, I said I was gonna kill the perfect triangle. What's it called?
Enya
Equilateral.
Drew
Yeah, I was gonna kill that.
Enya
That's. That is odd behavior because I'm marrying the equilateral triangle.
Drew
We don't have to get back into it. Like you're. But that's your choice. You do what you want, I do what I want.
Enya
What's the one that's not isosceles? Equilateral. And then.
Drew
You don't look at me. I don't know. I'm.
Enya
No, I'm trying to think of it.
Drew
Damn, I forgot.
Enya
Damn, I forgot. Damn, I forgot.
Drew
Well, I had a crazy migraine all day, and I laid down to take a nap and I immediately knocked out. And I woke up. The least, like, gracious wake up ever. I was drenched in sweat, laying on my stomach, and I woke up like. And I, like, literally made a sound.
Enya
Oh, my God, Me.
Drew
Last night, I. I was like, oh, my God. And then I woke up and it was dark. And there is something so jarring about going to sleep when it is bright as fuck outside and waking up to darkness. Like, it just. Just like a sadness.
Enya
Sadness?
Drew
Yeah, it's like sadness creeps over me and I'm like, I am such a piece of shit.
Enya
It's like, I can't believe I did this. Like, I can't believe I should be. We shouldn't be doing this. We should not be doing this. Yeah. Napping, I think, is simultaneously the greatest thing and the worst thing I can.
Drew
Do because I genuinely hate naps.
Enya
Yeah, I, I, I love naps. And I've been trying recently not to take as many naps because, like, I feel disgusting with my. Disgusted with myself after I wake up. But when I sleep for, like, I only take, like, I try to take, like, 26 minute naps. Like, that's like the sweet spot. Scientifically. Whatever. It doesn't fucking matter. But if I go past, like, 45 minutes. Oh, like, I wake up with, like, a raging migraine. Like, I'm shaking and fatigued. Like, I literally feel like I have HIV or some. Like, it's literally like, like all of the same symptoms. Like, I get fever. I feel like I have the flu. Like, oh, my God, it's horrible. But that sweet spot, I like, if I. Like when we go out and I take my quick little power nap before, like, oh, I feel like a brand new fucking purse.
Drew
I feel like a brand new person. No, I can't do naps, like, because I just want to sleep through the night. I genuinely. I am somebody who I can sleep for fudgeing ever. And I don't do well. I don't bode well with the short naps because.
Enya
Shout out, Bodhi. Yeah, shout out, Bodie. I don't bode well. Shout out, Bodie out.
Drew
But I fudgeing. Hate a short nap. It pisses me off.
Enya
I hate a short king. I literally just hate a short king.
Drew
I feel like we have a lot of short. Like, the men who do brave it out. And listen to this. I feel like our short king.
Enya
No, see, I'm thinking the men that brave it. Oh, like the straight men? Yeah, men that listen. They're all tall.
Drew
Like, yeah, all the, all the gay guys who listen. Tall.
Enya
Actually, I take back the twink comment. I don't think y' all are twins. Unless you want to be. And then you can live that life. You can choose to live that life.
Drew
You can be that. But, like, do you literally do Drew, You.
Enya
Drew, you. Speaking of Drew, you. Okay, so Addison just released Aquamarine. We don't have to get into it. It's Monday. This is going up on Friday. You've already heard all the conversations about it. Masterpiece of a song. I fear she, I mean, been claiming it. She's the next pop girl. She's gonna have her moment, but I don't think she's Gonna be, like, thrusted into, like, pop star status, like an Ariana Grande or Olivia Rodrigo just yet. Eventually, it will be a thing, but it's gonna take some time to get there because she still has to, like, convince people that she's not the old Addison and she's, like, this new perceived or new woman to be perceived. But in that song, I don't know if you heard it, but she texted me afterwards, and she was like, by the way, made this for you. I was like, made what? And she was like, make a tick tock to it. And I was like, what the. And she was like, oh, you haven't heard the song yet. I was like, no, listen to it. When she said, when? I'll just play it for you. I'll just play it for you. You're gonna be gagged. Because I didn't realize it either.
Drew
Like, what? I'm confused because I've heard the song. I've actually heard it a lot.
Enya
I've been saving on to this. It's coming.
Drew
Me when I'm talking about.
Enya
Christ, give me Drew. Gave me true Drew.
Drew
She's not saying. She's saying more, like. It's literally, like. I think you're having, like, the schizophrenia Disney adults have when they see the hidden Mickeys. You're seeing hidden Drews now because.
Enya
No, Lana. Lana also did it. Lana also said my name.
Drew
I mean.
Enya
No, no, Lana said my name.
Drew
I'll give it to you. A lot of people say your name. It's very common. But give me true. Like, that's the biggest stretch of that joke you've ever done. When I saw you write that, like, when I saw that you had that written, I was like, what does that mean? I thought there was a part of the song where she actually at least sounded like it because Drew left.
Enya
I also forgot to mention that I was wearing this today because we did a very special interview that I was really excited for, that I wanted to dress dapper, and I did not want to change before the podcast, But I did bring that up in the interview.
Drew
And the person who was interviewing us was like, what?
Enya
What?
Drew
What? Well, I got into funny road rage. I took my friend to the airport today. Oh, BE Attack challenge.
Enya
Yeah, everybody. Ow. Oh, my God. I just went to, like, push my hair back, and my finger went all the way up my goddamn nose. I hope you could see that. I think I, like, literally have a bloody nose.
Drew
I've never had a bloody nose, which I hate. Like, I want a bloody nose.
Enya
Let's just go do a Bunch of blow. Let's get you up.
Drew
I didn't even think about that. That is, like, such an easy way to get that.
Enya
Yeah. No, I used to have them really, really bad when I was a kid. Like, wake up.
Drew
Doing blow when you were a child?
Enya
Yeah, when I was 12. I ra crazy, y' all.
Drew
Like, we're hitting the slopes.
Enya
She's a snow queen from Dallas.
Drew
How do you make your tongue so skinny when you do that?
Enya
They can't see.
Drew
It. Like, looks fake. Well, I got into crazy road rage at the airport today. I was, like, going to pull in and I couldn't tell if this woman.
Enya
What were they driving?
Drew
They were driving, like, a smaller Audi.
Enya
Do you get the license plate?
Drew
No.
Enya
Okay. Because I'm gonna say I can go kill them for you.
Drew
Oh, thank you.
Enya
How was a girl or a guy?
Drew
It was an old white lady.
Enya
Okay. I'm gonna kill her.
Drew
True.
Enya
I'm gonna kill the next old white lady I see.
Drew
Oh, thank you. That, like, actually means so much to me.
Enya
Yeah. Also, do you still have a headache?
Drew
Yes.
Enya
Listen here. Enya's brain, My best friend, my lover's brain. If you don't fucking stop hurting my friend, I'm gonna get really angry and I'm gonna take you out of there and shake you up and make a brain slushy. Stop fucking hurting my friend. Did it feel better?
Drew
I was disassociating a bit. So when that. When I was disassociated, disassociating, yes, it did feel better. I actually might have made it worse because you were yelling into my ear.
Enya
Here, in his ear, in his ear. Stop hurting my friend.
Drew
But I got into crazy road rage. I was, like, pulling up, trying to get to the curb, and this woman, I couldn't see her leaning or not. And I wasn't even, like. I hadn't blocked her in or anything yet. I was being mindful. I was being. I was being very mindful of other drivers. And I was like, okay, I'm not gonna lock her in. But she did some. That pissed me off, technically. I guess I started this, and this is very immature of me, but I was not having it. But she turned to me and, like, I hadn't moved my car. I hadn't blocked her in, but she turned to me and she goes. And, like, starts yelling at me. Oh, my window. She's like, hello. Like, I could only imagine this is what she was saying because I was trying to read her lips, but she was like, hello. Like, I need to leave. I need to Leave.
Enya
If you don't chill the out.
Drew
So I laid on my horn, which I hate when people do. But I like, I just like, literally I was holding my steering wheel like this and my immediate reaction to her yelling at me is I started laughing and then I went beep. And I honked at her and she was like. And she like hit the horn back and I was like, I like hit it a few times and I was laughing really hard. She was like. And like opened her door.
Enya
That face you make is so funny.
Drew
Dude. That's what she was doing. Just like. She's like, like, just so like shocked. Like her jowls hit her knees. Like she was pissed at.
Enya
And she.
Drew
I was like, oh, you. I don't. I don't.
Enya
Do you have three more days left to live?
Drew
She opened her door and was about to get out of the car and she's looking at me and she's getting out of the car to I guess come up to me. And then I started laughing really hard and my friends in the passenger seat just laughing at her too. So then I was like, I saw like come here and I like was like going like this to her and she was like, like, like literally verbally, like screamed like that and then got back in her car and looked at me and moved up to like block me. So then she moved her car in front of me and blocked me and then she honked.
Enya
She really had places to go, but she really needed was wasting her time.
Drew
But she up because she like parked right in front of me to block me off. At this point, everyone's watching and I'm laughing. And usually when stuff like that happens and people are watching, I'm like, this is kind of embarrassing. But I was like, honestly, she started it. And you're old and haggerty choose your battles because you don't have much stamina left in this lifetime. And she parked her car right in front of me so that like I was like, this is dumb as cause I'm about to blow your ears out. And I just literally. And she was like, like, literally so funny. And then I was like. I was like. Started kissing like, like blowing kisses. And then she was trying to match my energy and she was like. And like started figure out and I was dying laughing.
Enya
She could not match your freak. And then that's for damn sure.
Drew
She.
Enya
Did you hear that? That reference? Yeah, she couldn't match your freak at all. And then she couldn't match her freak a little bit.
Drew
Drove off embarrassed. And then when I got out I was, like, laughing and helping my friend get their bags out of my car, and I was like, I'm so sorry I just did that in front of you. Like, that's so annoying. And we were cracking up. We were like, no, it's funny. And then this younger duo who was behind us, like, this guy came up and he was like, that lady, she was being such a. To you. I was like, thank you. I'm glad someone else saw.
Enya
And all women are.
Drew
Exactly. That's why we need a podcast.
Enya
Yeah, exactly. Okay, should we have a fake podcast conversation where we're, like, acting like straight male podcasters? I mean, that's very easy for me because that's what I. Yeah, okay, so. Oh, wait. I literally just sounded gay and was playing with my hair.
Drew
Okay, let. Let's talk like straight guys. So wait, what was the chat GBT say to us?
Enya
Like, the gaggery of it all, when.
Drew
You'Re ready to spill your tea. Yeah, I was hooking up with this nasty with huge tits.
Enya
How big were the tits?
Drew
Dude, they were almost too big. And I love big tits. Like, I would love.
Enya
Are you a tits guy or a boob guy?
Drew
Honestly?
Enya
Or a tits or butt guy?
Drew
I'm like, kind of like. I'm a bit of both. Like, like, both need to be perfect.
Enya
Really? Yeah, I'm more of a personality guy. Right? No, I'm more of a tits guy myself.
Drew
Oh, okay. Cool, Cool. My vibe.
Enya
When there's hairs, I pull them out one by one until I find a nerve ending, and then I rip out the nerve ending.
Drew
Oh, my God.
Enya
That literally, like, it sends electric shocks through their body.
Drew
No, because you know why? That just freaked me out. It reminded me. Remember when I was convinced for one single day and I did nothing about it, that I had bre. Breast cancer? This is kind of gross.
Enya
Well, actually, it's literally because every time it's like clockwork. I have Enya's period, like, down like clockwork.
Drew
I know.
Enya
I mean, I don't have to talk about your period, but India, before her period, every single time, thinks she has.
Drew
Breast cancer because my boobs just hurt so bad. And I'm like, this pain. This pain is not normal. But I will be going and getting a mammogram because I decided that I need to take that part of my health very seriously. And I need to go get my pap smears and I need to get a mammogram. And I need to say, I always.
Enya
Thought pap smears were the mammogram. No, but Pap smears.
Drew
They literally put a. A wrench in your and stick a cotton flow up there and they're like. It's like they literally treat your like a cotton machine. Like, they go in there and they're.
Enya
Like, let's get the slime.
Drew
Slime collector simulator.
Enya
Yeah, let's get the discharge. Let's.
Drew
Oh.
Enya
Every time they go up in a girl, it's like a blind box, cuz it's like, what color is the discharge going to be?
Drew
And the mystery. You always want the mystery one. The mystery one is green guy.
Enya
And scene.
Drew
Oh, was that us talking? Oh, but I don't think I've talked about this on the podcast. But now that enough time has passed, I think I can say it. One time. This is gross. One time I had an infected hair follicle on my nipple and it literally squirted out so much pus. And I thought it was a nerve ending coming out of my boob. And I sat. I remember in the gym having a true panic attack. Like, panic attacks for me are rare. But I was in the bathroom on the floor. Literally, just like, I felt that, like, dull pain hit my chest. And then I was taking a shower and I was like, I couldn't breathe in the shower. And I was just like, oh, my God. And that's how I know I'm a. And all my suicidal ideation is fake.
Enya
Yeah.
Drew
In that moment, I was like, I'm gonna die. I can't believe I'm gonna die. But that's different because I'm just gonna die. I want to die in a spectacular way, and it's gonna be by my own hand.
Enya
I'm gonna die in a spectacular way.
Drew
I'm not getting out of hand.
Enya
Jazz hands.
Drew
That's big. It's gonna be big.
Enya
It's gonna be a big moment. Like, it really. It really is.
Drew
If I live to like, 75, 80, and I'm just like, honestly, I'm done. I'm either gonna, like, smoke heroin till I die. But then I was thinking about that and I was like, that's embarrassing. Because, like, smoking heroin, what is like.
Enya
A spectacular way to die?
Drew
I was thinking I'd blow myself up like a Mr. Beast video with fireworks included and then give away all the money inside of.
Enya
A red Ferrari and it'd be behind.
Drew
A Patreon paywall that all the money gets donated. Donated to, like, a cause that I, like, feel for. I'm trying to think, and I won't.
Enya
Be having kids give girls more boob jobs.
Drew
Yes. It'd probably go to Yalls kids like, or, like, spread between Yalls kids and my families. I'm talking about that. Like, I can literally do that. And you, like, legally, I couldn't do.
Enya
No. Like, every time I get on an airplane, I fantasize about it crashing. Never mind. And thinking about, like. No, thinking about me dying and how many people would talk about me after I die. But then I sober up and I'm like, oh, wait, I wouldn't know that.
Drew
I don't get to read, girl.
Enya
I'm training. I know for a fact, for at least 20 minutes, I'm trending number one.
Drew
You better pray to God the Super bowl isn't happening at that time.
Enya
There's not like a halftime show or fucking, like, somebody. Someone died.
Drew
You better pray to God Addison Rae doesn't really release another single when you die.
Enya
I know it's over. It's Captain Cooked. Captain cooked for me. But wait, what were you saying? Oh, panic attacks, y' all. I've been doing this thing. I'm having a panic attack.
Drew
Wait, what is it? It's like, I'm paralyzed. I'm paralyzed.
Enya
I'm paralyzed. I'm paralyzed. I'm paralyzed. I'm paralyzed. I'm paralyzed. No, guys, hearsay. I was paralyzed. I was just paralyzed. Guys.
Drew
No, seriously.
Enya
But last night, and you came home late, and I had fallen asleep before she had gotten back, and I did this. I've been doing this thing, like, in the last, like two years where, like, I wake up in the middle of the night, like, completely, no reason why, with my heart just, like pounding. And I did that last night and I proceeded to have like a gnarly, gnarly panic attack. Like a 16 year old drew panic attack. I don't know if y' all know this, but when I was 16, I was having like the worst panic attacks, anxiety in my life. Like, it was horrible rants. I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy. But if you're dealing with that right now, just know soon you'll be a podcaster. Soon you'll. You. Soon you'll become a podcaster.
Drew
If somebody suffers from, like, a panic.
Enya
Disorder, that might make it worse. But I did it last night. Like, and you came home, like, scared me awake. And then like, I wasn't upset with Enya, but for some reason I was just like, like viscerally angry. Like, I wasn't angry at anything, but I just had anger flowing through my body. It was like really crazy vibes.
Drew
Well, I have hormones running through my body. That make me want to have sex with you.
Enya
Oh, meow, meow. No, that part. Start for real.
Drew
Dude, I am so sad. Drew's going to Texas tomorrow, and, like, we've been so busy that we haven't had a proper day of sitting on the. Actually, that is literally a lie. We, like, three times we watched a whole season of nursery this week.
Enya
But that's, like, work, though.
Drew
I know. Yeah. I was making the props for the podcast while we were doing that, so it doesn't count. Like, I want to just sit on the couch and get nasty and stinky.
Enya
Yeah.
Drew
Watch TV with you. But you're leaving.
Enya
I know you don't miss me until I'm gone.
Drew
You're going to miss me when I'm gone.
Enya
No, that's literally. See, listen up, y' all. Y' all are all going to miss me when I'm gone, and you're going to not make fun of my nasty, gross body. Okay.
Drew
I want a few more edits of me. Like, I've seen good edits, but, like, I need, like, a good edit. But I'll get you all the content for that. I don't think I've been getting them enough. Enough content. Let me know if you guys think I'm lacking on the content of me being beautiful. Because, like, I know the editors are looking for a specific vibe.
Enya
They're gonna clip that and make an edit out of me rolling my eyes.
Drew
Us, like, clip farming. So let me all want to be edited.
Enya
Let me try to get, like, an Inia edit. Ah, no, I'm not gonna be able to channel it right now.
Drew
Wait, what do you mean? Like, angry?
Enya
No, no. Like. Like. And, like, if a man is there, I'm gonna kill him with my bare fucking hands.
Drew
Honestly, I'm glad that's. Oh, what was that last one? The last one looked like you were drunk and about to throw up.
Enya
Now, Velocity edit that. Oh, it's gonna eat. I can see it now.
Drew
I can picture it now. I'm glad that people will always identify my voice with, like, the voice of hating men. That makes me happy.
Enya
It's a voice of reason, truly.
Drew
But I. I do love men. There are men in my life who I do love. I want to make that very poor men. There's, like, five. Like, will I ever be procreating with a man? Hell, the no. Not gonna happen.
Enya
Not on, and especially not on my watch.
Drew
Like, I'm sorry. I. I won't get into it because I talk about it so often, but, like, having kids and getting married to me is a death sentence. Like, I'm not kidding. Like, putting me in a situation where, like, I would. I'll date a man. Like, whatever. Like, yeah, like, let's have fun. You want to fucking lock me away and hold me hostage and make me bear children? You're a fucking killer pervert. You're literally the pervert. Fucking killer monster. Evil. Evil demon. Dark.
Enya
Like, now serve. Now serve. No, like. Like, give. Like, give.
Drew
I, like, can't.
Enya
You've done it enough this episode.
Drew
But I actually. I unironically didn't mean to say that, but. But you can't bring that up, because I really skip to thinking. I get to thinking it's literally a death sentence. Like, the idea of that feels like somebody's putting me in the thing where my head is through, like, the hole and everybody's watching me, like, about to get, like, yeah. It's like. It might as well be a guillotine to me. It's like getting stoned in the town square. Whoa.
Enya
Y' all. We did a thing. Like, we really. We really did.
Drew
Everybody will know.
Enya
We finally met Trisha, and it was.
Drew
It was amazing.
Enya
It was.
Drew
I was terrified of her.
Enya
I was, like, shaking in my boots a little bit, but it was genuinely, like. Like, I was gooped and gagged. Like, I. I can't. I. I very rarely. Very rarely get gooped and gagged. Like, when Beyonce was, like, 16ft away from me. Like, I was gooped and gagged. Like, when Trisha Paytas was just hugged me, I was gooped and gagged.
Drew
Like, I know. Also, like, it was. We did a shoot with Petra for her brand. I'm sorry. On essence. And Terry, she asked us to be a part of it, and it was Holly Madison, Terry Jo, and Trisha Paytas. And me and Drew were like, duh, we're gonna be there. And I guess they hadn't told anybody else that we were gonna be there. So Trisha, when she saw us, was like, oh. Oh, my God. Like, was so shocked. And so was Terry, and it was. Was awesome. And it was such a fun shoe. And I had so much fun. I love Petra. I love everybody who was there. Holly was so nice, and Trisha made fun of us.
Enya
Yeah, she made fun of us right to our face.
Drew
No, no, it was literally, it was the most, like, it was so funny.
Enya
And I love it so much. I have it written down.
Drew
We were talking to her about our Halloween cost costumes.
Enya
Yeah. And she was like, oh. Like, oh, you already did your Halloween costumes. And I was like, yeah, yeah. Like, here's a video of them. And it was like, the video in you posted on her account. And, like, it's the most obscure, like, esoteric niche Internet knowledge.
Drew
Like, no sense. I don't even. I was, like, impressed by how many people interacted with that post. And I was like, it's kind of amazing that. That many people liked that. Tick tock. That many people don't know what the fuck.
Enya
Yeah, they have no. They have no idea what the fuck.
Drew
Was they were looking at. They're looking at nonsense.
Enya
And so, like, Trisha had, like, the normal reaction of just being like, oh. Like, she literally. She literally basically did like, oh, oh, okay. Like that audio in real life. And she was like, huh? Like, you guys are, like, weird. But then started laughing and she corrected herself, but, like, in a good way. In a good way. And I was like, no, we're weird.
Drew
It's okay. You can say that to us. And, like, it was just so sweet because I feel like she. She wasn't saying it to be mean. She's like, the sweetest person I've ever met. And. But me and Drew were just laughing so hard, and I think she thought we were making, like, she was making fun of us.
Enya
It was a compliment.
Drew
We literally did. We were like, thank you so much.
Enya
Like, I genuinely don't know if there's anything that Trisha could say to me that would hurt my feelings.
Drew
She, like, I don't know.
Enya
She was like, she's literally mother.
Drew
Yeah, she was just. Just so nice to us. And we got into a conversation about how she thought we were really funny. And we were like, that's so funny because we think you're funny. And she was like, oh, I don't really find myself to be funny. I don't think I'm a funny person. Me and Drew were like, you were literally tripping because you are so funny. Like, there are a few people on this planet who are just to be born naturally funny. I feel like we're funny, but we definitely have to work on it. Like, we had to hone in on what makes us funny, and we have to, like, think of, like. Like things to be funny. And she is just so naturally funny. It was so awesome. And we were just cracking up. Also, we sent. We sent the video in our group chat, and Christian goes, I'm genuinely so proud of you guys.
Enya
Yeah. Yeah. Our friend Christian, like, we made a TikTok with Trisha. Trisha.
Drew
Yeah, Terry.
Enya
And we sent it to our friends because we were like, oh, everybody's gonna be gagged by this. And Christian was like, no. Like, on a real note, like, I'm.
Drew
Here to say I'm, like, actually so proud of you.
Enya
Yeah. And it was, like, very sincere and real and was like, yeah. Honestly, like, this was a big moment. Like, legitimately, like a big moment. But, yeah, big things coming.
Drew
Well, should we get. Shall we get into some media?
Enya
Some media? Yeah.
Drew
Oh, my media of the week.
Enya
Wait, before I have one. One psyop.
Drew
Oh, yeah.
Enya
Drew, wait. Drew. Give me Drew. I only have one. Funerals are way too expensive. Air fry my body when I die. Get all crispy.
Drew
I just imagine your body, like, this big and crispy.
Enya
Yeah. Like, even when you put a chip bag in the microwave and it, like, shrinks, that's what happens to my body. And people, like, will run a knife over my body to show a crispy. My skin got.
Drew
Oh, actually, I want to talk about this, because we were talking about our friends with this, and specifically Josiah was like, no, no, no. That's awful. But I was saying. Okay. Actually, no, now I feel like people are gonna make fun of me because I was saying I love Azul so much that, like, part of me does want to get him taxidermied when he died. And I think that is a very, very polarizing idea. People are, like, very. Like, it's. It's just polarizing. You're either super down for it. It. Or you think it's disgusting, horrifying. But I really either want to do that, or I would get his little paw.
Enya
And I want to pause because I.
Drew
Love him so much. Like, y' all can't even get on me because I have a box of cat dust and some of my other cat's hair just sitting around. How uneventful. Like that. It's literally cat dust. Like, I can't. Like. I can't look at it and be like, oh, like, she. She looks.
Enya
My little Eddie.
Drew
My little Eddie. Like, it's a bowl of ash, and.
Enya
It could very well like, just be dust they collected from the place.
Drew
No, it literally could be, like, also, I don't believe that they're, like, turning my cat to ash in a new container. They're probably burning a bunch of them and being like, here's a little bit for this.
Enya
You got, like, 14 cats.
Drew
Yeah, I got, like, somebody else.
Enya
You got a tabby. Yeah. You got a cat.
Drew
Coyote in there for sure. Like, I got random. I probably got dogs in there. But yeah. Let me know what y' all think. Actually, don't.
Enya
Y' all are. Also, I need to make it very clear you're allowed to talk about me, but not in a way that hurts my feelings.
Drew
You're having a. This is your proof that you haven't been in a romantic relationship because you haven't thought about how you're going to communicate with them yet. Like, you haven't thought through your emotions and then brought it to them.
Enya
Yeah, I did. So you're giving them mixed.
Drew
Yeah, you're giving them mixed emotions. You're being mean to them. Like, guys.
Enya
Well, they were mean to me first.
Drew
Okay, guys, seriously, be nice. Like, it just.
Enya
Thank you.
Drew
Now you guys are okay. Now you guys have to go on a fancy date. You're paying.
Enya
Are we good? Everybody say we're good.
Drew
I know there's at least one high bitch out there who like that.
Enya
We're good. I need a TikTok of you saying we're good.
Drew
Actually, no. We need to, like, do well. We'll write something out for the next episode, but I want to scare because I love the way y' all interact online for us because it adds to the lore of the podcast. So next episode, we'll script out a little thing where we're leaving gaps for y' all to respond, and I want y' all to record your screen and be talking to your computer.
Enya
That's hilarious.
Drew
So that other people who find it.
Enya
Are like, wait, what is happening? How do they record this? That's actually so fun.
Drew
And we'll. We'll, like, leave pockets. We'll. We'll make it an easy joke for you all to make. Or. Or we'll, like, write the joke for you so you guys can respond. And then it's even freakier because all of y' all are saying the same joke. Like, we'll make it work.
Enya
We'll figure it out. But just be ready for that.
Drew
My media of the week is. What's his name with Piers Morgan?
Enya
Oh, Hannibal Lecter Arm and Hammer.
Drew
Yeah. Armin Army Hammer. Him trying to defend his weird ass life. You him being Pierce Morgan going, are you a cannibal? And him going, do you know what you have to do to be a cannibal?
Enya
It's like my favorite line.
Drew
You have people.
Enya
You have to eat people. Me. And then you're gonna recreate that word for word.
Drew
Yeah. So stay tuned for that.
Enya
My media of the week is the fact that the Mars rover has been on Mars for a decade and has only traveled 20 miles. What the are you doing up there? Like, it actually pissed me off when I Found that out. Like, like, literally we spent billions getting you up there and you're only going to walk 20 miles or scoot around. Like, it's not even walking. It's like, like barely rolling.
Drew
Is like the travel up there just like, lagged out. Why is it so little?
Enya
I don't know. It like, literally pissed me off. I couldn't even read anymore about it. But I was like, are you kidding me? I thought it was like, traversing the whole planet. I guess naively, because it's only traveled like, like literally two miles a year. Two miles a year? I walk miles in a day. Yeah, I walk that in literally a day. Like, get a grip.
Drew
I do that at Disneyland.
Enya
Also, why has Taylor Swift been on tour for literally three years?
Drew
She's like Frankie Valli. She's gonna be Frankie Valley. Like, who the made her sign? What contract?
Enya
I'm not hating at all. I just genuinely want to know, like, how the does she do that?
Drew
I hope she. She like, performs until she's really old. Something about that is like, kind of cool time when a girl does that. I'm like, purr. But it is crazy. Like, damn, she is big. Like that. Huh? My.
Enya
Oh, I was gonna say. But my real media is. I went and saw Megalopolis and that was the single greatest movie I've ever seen in my life. I think all the hate up for it is very unjust and unwarranted.
Drew
Oh, you like it? Did you give it five stars?
Enya
I'm a contrarian. Yeah. No, that was the best worst movie I've ever seen in my life. That was horrible in everything.
Drew
I want to see, like, the first hour of it. I don't need to commit anymore.
Enya
Yeah, no, it was. It was rightfully made fun of into oblivion. Because there's like so many moments that I'm just like, actually what the was going on. But I will say I left with a full heart because it just made me think about how in his head, like, the. The idea behind the movie is like, this is like his legacy. This is what he wants to leave behind. This is like where he wants the world to end up. Like, it was really cute in that sense. And like, you could just feel and like, just like a bunch of like, things that like an aging man, person in general, like, goes through. And like, you can feel that in the movie. But it's like, I. I heard like some horror stories on set. Like, he would, like, be late to shooting because he was just like smoking hella weed in his trailer and then he'd stumble out and be like. Because he's, like 400 years old directing a movie. Also, he sold his winery for it. Like, it's cute.
Drew
Oh, that's kind of sad. But I guess he doesn't need it if he's, like, that old.
Enya
No, he doesn't give a. He's. He just wanted this mace made, and he got it made, but he ruined independent filmmaking. No one's ever gonna trust anybody ever again.
Drew
Well, my media of the week is Wichita 2 by Harper's Bazaar, Time by Culture Club, and Crying in the Rain by Carole King. Such good songs. Time Won't give me time, and Time.
Enya
Makes Lovers Feel My media. My other media is bliss bay 8b I, l, s b a, e number 8.
Drew
Obsessed with people who, like, are so good at art in our community, putting time into that. Like, there is something so magical about it.
Enya
No, it's really. It's truly, truly a beautiful thing. Oh, also, one last thing, and then we can for real go. But let me send this to Kai.
Drew
Oh, yeah.
Enya
Like.
Drew
I. I do want to say. I feel like we don't talk about it often enough, but to end off this episode, I want to say at.
Enya
Matt's Underscore Creations, go check them out.
Drew
I do want to say you guys are awesome. And I talked about so happy for.
Enya
Literally an hour today in our interview. Like, we are so blessed, and I mean it to my core. Yeah, like.
Drew
Like, you guys are so cool, and you guys have such a deep understanding of just us, and it feels awesome. And I feel like we're so lucky, and y' all are so creative and so good at all the art you make. Like, the amount of cool art I see come out of our community genuinely makes me feel like we got blessed with the masterminds. And then I'm like, of course. Of course you freaks are good at art. Like, it only makes sense.
Enya
But literally, thank you. Because it means a lot.
Drew
I know when I see good art from you guys, like, it genuinely, the smile it puts on my face is unironically unreal. And thank you guys for continuing to listen for so long, because it's getting to the end of the year and all I can think about is, I can't believe y' all are still here. It's very unreal. But don't forget, I'd hit all of you in the face and within an instant.
Enya
And don't talk about my body. And don't talk about my body.
Drew
Oh, you thought. Oh, you thought I was being nice to you? You. You freak.
Enya
Yup.
Drew
Don't talk about my girl.
Enya
Yeah.
Drew
Cause I fight.
Enya
Yup.
Drew
And I haven't fought in a really long time.
Enya
No.
Drew
So I'd probably get my ass beat.
Enya
Nope.
Drew
But I'd still fight.
Enya
Yup.
Drew
And I would lie if I lost.
Enya
Yo, that's a.
Drew
That's. I'm not even kidding. Like, I was sitting outside, like in the middle of the night on the phone last night at like 3am sitting on the corner, and somebody was just walking by with headphones on, this like, random girl. And I looked at her and she was like on a midnight run. Which I was like, girl, you are so brave. This is dangerous. But then I convinced myself that she was crazy and she was gonna come over and beat the out of me. And I thought about it. I was like, would I go in there and lie and say I beat her ass? I was like, yes, the I would.
Enya
But I just got in a fight and I got my. Or I beat her.
Drew
Yeah. I. I killed her ass. Like, she's out there dead on the floor.
Enya
I think I would. I think it would be funny if I got my ass ass beat. Like, if I initiated. If I like, it would. It would match my energy so well. If I got beef, I feel like.
Drew
If I got beat up, it'd be like, oh, talking all that.
Enya
No, it would win this. I wouldn't let you live it down if I wipe. I saw you get your ass beat in you. Like, I'd make sure you were okay first. And then like after a couple weeks.
Drew
I'd be like, I think that's what would push me to kill myself.
Enya
You can't win in a fight.
Drew
Thank you guys for watching. See you next week. It.
Ryan Seacrest
Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway this spring. Stock up on all your personal care Favorites and earn 4 times points now through June 17th. Shop in store online for deals on all your favorite personal care items like Pantene shampoo, Native body spray, deodorant, Secret body Spray, Venus razors, Always pads, head and shoulder shampoo and native deodorant and earn 4 times points. Then use those points for discounts on groceries or fuel. You don't want to miss these deals. Offer ends June 17th. Promotions may vary. Restrictions apply. Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details.
Emergency Intercom - Episode: "Make More Edits of Us" (Released November 1, 2024)
In this episode of Emergency Intercom, hosts Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips deliver their trademark blend of humor and candid conversation. Titled "Make More Edits of Us," the episode dives into a variety of topics ranging from personal insecurities and quirky experiences to interactions with celebrities and reflections on social media trends. Here's a detailed summary capturing the key moments and notable quotes from the episode.
The episode opens with Enya showcasing her high-end Arch'teryx beanie, sparking a humorous debate about niche fashion brands. Enya comments on the exclusivity and expense of Arch'teryx:
Enya ([00:51]): "I have an Archeric beanie on. A lot of people don't even really know what arch'teryx is."
Drew counters by highlighting the brand's popularity and questioning its recognition among the general public:
Drew ([01:00]): "I think it's a popular brand."
This exchange sets the stage for their ongoing banter about personal style and the challenges of wearing unique, expensive items.
A significant portion of the conversation centers around body image and the discomfort stemming from public scrutiny. Enya expresses her frustration with unsolicited comments about her body:
Enya ([02:27]): "Don't play with me. Just don't talk about my fucking penis. I get to talk about my penis. Y'all don't get to talk about my penis."
Drew joins in, adding to the humor while discussing societal pressures related to body image:
Drew ([02:59]): "They just. Someone said Drew has a big penis. That's hilarious."
The hosts navigate this sensitive topic with a mix of humor and genuine vulnerability, providing a relatable perspective for listeners.
Enya recounts a frustrating trip to Best Buy caused by Kai's theft of their SD cards. She shares her woes about purchasing a reliable micro SD card and her interest in expensive tech gadgets:
Enya ([04:47]): "I was gonna get one of those Dyson fans. The one that does the heating, the cooling, and the purification. But then I also want one with the humidifier."
Drew humorously critiques the high cost of multi-functional appliances, highlighting their shared frustrations with consumer technology:
Drew ([05:14]): "Looking at the one you're talking about for four years and you refuse to buy it. Because nothing like that is something that shouldn't be that expensive."
The hosts delve into Enya's painful experience with cupping therapy, providing a detailed and comedic account of the mishaps during her session:
Enya ([10:03]): "No, it's not as bad as I make it sound, genuinely, but it hurt me."
Drew expresses his newfound apprehension towards trying cupping after hearing about her ordeal:
Drew ([12:54]): "I really curious. I want to go to a different spot and get cupping and see if that's how it's supposed to be."
Their exaggerated descriptions offer both laughs and a playful commentary on alternative health practices.
A standout moment features Drew's recounting of a road rage incident at the airport. He describes his emotional and somewhat absurd interaction with an elderly driver:
Drew ([26:33]): "She opened her door and was about to get out of the car and she's looking at me and she's getting out of the car to I guess come up to me. And then I started laughing really hard and my friends in the passenger seat just laughing at her too."
Enya adds her witty remarks on the situation, emphasizing the humorous side of what could have been a tense encounter:
Enya ([29:46]): "She really had places to go, but she really needed was wasting her time."
This story underscores their ability to find humor in unexpected and challenging situations.
Enya and Drew discuss the evolution of social media, particularly critiquing the shift towards high-quality DSLR content on TikTok over authentic, spontaneous user-generated videos:
Enya ([16:50]): "They don't need to see those pores. We really don't need to see."
Drew humorously laments the complexity of TikTok videos that can crash smartphones, reflecting on the platform's rapid changes:
Drew ([17:56]): "They were looking at nonsense. And so, like, Trisha had, like, the normal reaction of just being like, oh."
Their observations offer a humorous take on the changing landscape of online content creation and audience expectations.
The conversation shifts to their contrasting views on napping. Enya advocates for short, power naps to rejuvenate her, while Drew expresses his disdain for naps altogether:
Enya ([20:07]): "I take my quick little power nap before, like, I feel like a brand new person."
Drew ([20:57]): "I genuinely hate naps."
This segment provides relatable humor around differing sleep habits and personal preferences.
Both hosts share their takes on current media topics. Enya controversially praises the movie Megalopolis, calling it "the single greatest movie" despite widespread criticism:
Enya ([50:58]): "I left with a full heart because it just made me think about how in his head, like, the idea behind the movie is like, this is like his legacy."
Drew discusses Taylor Swift's enduring tour, marveling at her stamina and questioning the feasibility of her long-term commitments:
Drew ([50:20]): "How the does she do that?"
Their media discussions blend sincere appreciation with comedic critiques, offering a unique perspective on popular culture.
Enya and Drew share an exciting encounter with internet personality Trisha Paytas. They describe the funny and awkward moments of the meeting, emphasizing Trisha's genuine yet self-deprecating sense of humor:
Enya ([41:15]): "When Trisha saw us, was like, oh. Oh, my God. Like, was so shocked."
Drew adds his perspective on Trisha's natural comedic talent:
Drew ([43:54]): "She is just so naturally funny. It was so awesome."
This segment highlights their interactions with other influencers and the blend of admiration and comedic perspective they maintain.
In a candid exploration of mental health, Enya and Drew humorously discuss their experiences with panic attacks and anxiety. Enya shares her overwhelming panic attack with both humor and vulnerability:
Enya ([36:49]): "I proceeded to have like a gnarly, gnarly panic attack... soon you'll be a podcaster."
Drew opens up about his own struggles with anxiety and panic attacks, blending dark humor with sincere reflection:
Drew ([34:12]): "My suicidal ideation is fake. In that moment, I was like, I'm gonna die."
Their openness provides a relatable and comedic perspective on serious personal struggles, fostering a sense of connection with listeners.
Towards the episode's conclusion, Enya and Drew express deep gratitude towards their listeners, acknowledging the creative community that supports their podcast:
Drew ([54:39]): "I see good art from you guys, like, it genuinely the smile it puts on my face is unironically unreal."
Enya ([54:44]): "Literally, thank you. Because it means a lot."
They discuss future interactions and content plans, hinting at creative ways to involve listeners in upcoming episodes:
Drew ([48:52]): "We'll write something out for the next episode, but I want to scare because I love the way y' all interact online for us because it adds to the lore of the podcast."
This segment underscores the hosts' appreciation for their audience and their commitment to fostering a strong community.
"Make More Edits of Us" exemplifies Emergency Intercom’s ability to blend humor with heartfelt conversation. Enya and Drew navigate a range of topics with authenticity and wit, making the episode both entertaining and relatable. From personal anecdotes and comedic exchanges to sincere gratitude towards their community, the hosts create an engaging narrative that resonates with both regular listeners and newcomers alike.
Listeners can expect more of the same dynamic chemistry and candid discussions in future episodes, continuing to build on the strong connection Enya and Drew have cultivated with their audience.