meet our interns w/ Quen and Larray

Summary

Emergency Intercom: Episode Summary - "Meet Our Interns with Quen and Larray"

Release Date: January 31, 2025

Hosts: Enya Umanzor (E), Drew Phillips (D), and Larry (L)

Guests: Quen (Q) and Larray (La)

---

I. Hiring New Interns

The episode kicks off with Drew and Larry discussing the recent expansion of their podcast team. Faced with an increasing workload, they've decided to bring on interns, carefully selecting candidates they deem not only competent but also embodying their unique blend of humor and charisma.

• Drew (01:14): "We thought it was time to hire some interns."
• Larry (01:18): "We were really selective, because only the sexiest people can work with us."

II. Introducing Quen and Larray

Quen and Larray join the conversation, bringing fresh energy and perspectives to the group. Their introductions are marked by playful banter and humorous interactions, setting the tone for the episode.

• Quen (02:28): "Fun key now. But isn't it crazy when your boss takes your shit?"
• Larray (02:33): "Yeah, well, no, no, no. It's like, boring. Your job as an intern."

III. Personal Relationships and Dynamics

The hosts delve into their personal relationships, discussing sexual orientations, relationship dynamics, and the complexities that come with long-term friendships.

• Enya (07:15): "I'm in a two-week break from work and needed to see a therapist."
• Drew (07:32): "I never got casted. Damn, I wanted it."

IV. Anecdotes and Past Experiences

Various personal stories are shared, including Kai's unsettling experience with her manager attempting to harm her and Drew's unexpected encounter with Logan Paul.

• Kai (05:43): "He tried to run me over. Luckily, I hopped in the car with Murderized."
• Drew (25:11): "Logan Paul introduced himself to me at a nightclub in Miami."

V. Mental Health and Attachment Styles

A significant portion of the episode focuses on mental health, exploring different attachment styles and their impact on relationships.

• Enya (11:25): "I feel like I've got these reactive attachment issues because I can't depend on anyone."
• Larry (09:17): "I'm avoidant. I run after where you're like, talk to me."

VI. The Darkness Retreat Experience

Enya shares her transformative experience at a Darkness Retreat in Portland, Oregon, detailing the intense sensory deprivation and spiritual insights she gained.

• Enya (49:30): "It was a 15-foot hole covered in linseed oil and smelled like bleach. It was insane."
• Drew (56:50): "Honestly, I believe that, but I want to do that. You're brave."

VII. Interactions with Influencers and Celebrities

The conversation touches on interactions with internet personalities and influencers, including candid stories about meeting figures like Logan Paul and opinions on platforms like TikTok.

• Larry (62:57): "Candace Owens took a video of me frolicking around in a dress and uploaded it to her story."
• Enya (58:05): "Love K. Poyer. She’s genius. A great mind of our generation."

VIII. Coping Mechanisms and Personal Growth

The hosts discuss various coping mechanisms they've employed, such as therapy, meditation, and retreats, highlighting their ongoing journey toward personal growth and healthier relationships.

• Enya (43:50): "I feel like we're all literally deluded."
• Drew (60:04): "I need a baby lobotomy. I want a trial run."

IX. Humorous Banter and Group Dynamics

Throughout the episode, the group engages in lighthearted and often irreverent humor, showcasing their close-knit dynamics and ability to find comedy in everyday situations.

• Kai (68:51): "Wait. Your dick is going to fall out."
• Larry (73:56): "You smell so good. Like, both of you smell so good."

X. Wrap-Up and Future Plans

As the episode nears its conclusion, the group reflects on their friendship, the longevity of their connections, and looks forward to future endeavors, including potential collaborations and continued personal development.

• Enya (82:37): "I hope we know each other for so many more years."
• Drew (82:41): "We're gonna be all old and crazy."

---

Notable Quotes:

• Drew (03:07): "I do wish. Bro, that would give you way too much attention."
• Enya (15:07): "That was therapy for me."
• Larry (25:00): "I want to fly. Make me fly."
• Enya (53:50): "I did the darkness retreat after I came out of the darkness."
• Drew (60:04): "I need a baby lobotomy. I want a trial run."

---

Key Themes:

1. Friendship and Team Dynamics: The episode emphasizes the strong bonds between the hosts and their new interns, highlighting trust and camaraderie.
2. Mental Health Awareness: Open discussions about therapy, attachment styles, and coping mechanisms underscore the importance of mental well-being.
3. Humor in Adversity: The group's ability to infuse humor into serious topics showcases their resilience and unique comedic style.
4. Personal Growth: Stories of personal challenges and transformative experiences illustrate the hosts' journeys toward self-improvement.

Conclusion:

"Meet Our Interns with Quen and Larray" offers listeners an intimate glimpse into the lives of the Emergency Intercom hosts and their guests. Through a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and meaningful discussions, the episode reinforces the value of friendship, mental health, and personal growth within a comedic framework.

Transcript

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Drew]

Oh, my God. Guys.

[Larry]

Hey, guys.

[Drew]

Welcome to this episode of Emergency Intercom.

[Larry]

So, as you can tell, there's two seats there. And it's because we've had a lot on our plate recently with the podcast specifically, and we thought it was time to hire some interns.

[Drew]

Yeah, honestly. Yeah. And. But we were really selective, though, because, like, not to be this person. I don't want to, like, sound like kind of like a Matilda Durf here, but only these sexiest people can work with us. Yeah, that's kind of like our whole thing.

[Larry]

Like, fine.

[Drew]

Yeah, like, very sexy. See, very, like. Oh, my gosh. Someone. Oh, that's a bad joke. I was gonna say someone get HR in here.

[Larry]

Mysterious, like, aura. Like.

[Drew]

Yeah, we just wanted to buy that whole thing. Set of interns. And honestly, like, you guys, like, you'll. You'll. You'll know.

[Larry]

Just.

[Drew]

Guys, come in.

[Larry]

Come on in, y' all.

[Drew]

Come on. Oh, yeah. I stole one of quenches.

[E]

Yes.

[Drew]

What's up?

[E]

Emergency.

[Larry]

We are here.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[E]

Fun key now. But isn't it crazy when your boss takes your shit?

[Larry]

Yeah, well, no, no, no. It's like, boring. Your job as an intern.

[Kai]

Can I eat now?

[Larry]

No, no. Like, eight more hours. Yeah, but you have to get us food first.

[Drew]

But we have you guys on, like. Okay, we just have them on insert. I would, don't I?

[E]

And it's not yet.

[Drew]

We only hit Kai.

[Kai]

We haven't hit our sky trade, though. Kai's trade.

[Drew]

I do wish. Bro, that would give you way too much attention. We should start blocking Kai's name and comments just, like, blocking him to bleep.

[E]

It out in the podcast too.

[Larry]

I know this is really.

[Drew]

I can't help but, like, curl my toe up and, like, lift it out. Like, I'm playing with them.

[Larry]

It's, like, bad.

[E]

I did an interview with Heels for the first time. I was like. And then I had my feet, like, playing around. Yeah. I was not comfortable at all.

[Drew]

Wait, we're double dating right now, and it's awesome.

[Larry]

Also, like, two bi girls into one gay guy and one straight guy.

[Kai]

Exactly.

[Larry]

And it's like, wait, who's.

[Drew]

Which one's gay?

[Kai]

I thought y' all was.

[Drew]

Oh, I'm straight.

[Larry]

Oh, did I mix that up?

[Drew]

Yeah, I think you, like, are you.

[Larry]

Bye.

[Kai]

It's confusing because I can't be around you if you're bi. That's disgusting.

[E]

You suck dick.

[Kai]

Oh, can I go?

[Drew]

No, no.

[E]

You already want to get up and get out? See, you don't like having one obligation.

[Kai]

I don't like this. This is fucked up.

[Larry]

Oh, my God.

[Drew]

I feel like we need to explain. Explain how long we've all known each other.

[Larry]

Literally too long.

[Drew]

Like, way too long.

[Kai]

Way, way, way.

[Drew]

I think about it all the time because I feel like all of us have so many people who we've just randomly known at this point for a decade. And then every now and then, I'll be looking at yalls faces and I'm like, no. I saw y' all when y' all were kids, and you saw my face when I was a kid.

[Larry]

It was so freaky. I saw, like, a compilation of old videos that you reposted on Tick Tock. Like a couple. Yes. Literally freaked me the out how young we all were. Like, you were a baby.

[E]

When I had my first weed, my first drink.

[Larry]

Yeah.

[E]

I heard people having sex for the first time. I felt like Playlist live. Like the devil brushed my foot.

[Drew]

The devil loves idle hands at Playlist.

[Larry]

It was freaky. Everyone's first was at Playlist.

[Kai]

Did y' all meet at Playlist?

[Larry]

No, we met at Press Play.

[Kai]

Oh, let's talk about that. How was that?

[Larry]

That was.

[Kai]

She's seen a ghost.

[Drew]

Actually, like, it was fun as, like.

[E]

I wanted to go the conventions. I was so jealous every time I seen y' all. The conventions. I remember the first convention I went to.

[Kai]

It was a ballroom.

[Larry]

It was a ballroom.

[Drew]

It was a quinceanetta.

[Kai]

Oh, y' all dead ass had a quinceanera.

[E]

Yeah.

[Drew]

It literally every press play felt like the hangover from a quinceanera like, I there in the morning shaking and being like, the.

[Larry]

The amount of Aderall flowing through our veins was crazy.

[E]

My Vance for me.

[Kai]

Who was the man? Do you know the. I forgot his name. The manager guy. My manager.

[Drew]

That's your manager?

[Kai]

He tried to kill me.

[Larry]

Yeah. Oh, shotgun.

[Drew]

Wait, what?

[Larry]

Wait, he was like, lock in. Wait, what? Hold on.

[Kai]

Let's lock in.

[Larry]

Yeah, lock in. Tell that.

[E]

That was gay.

[Drew]

Wait, what happened?

[Kai]

Oh, my God. When Tanacon happened, the guy who was in the Segway, for context, I hung out with Tana at Coachella. And then I came home, and he was pissed off that he saw a photo of me and Tana. Like, and he literally. I'm not even kidding. Tried to run me over. Like, I was hopping in my car, and he zoomed and tried to literally run me over. And luckily I hopped in the car with. You won't believe who was my roommate at that time. Murderized.

[Drew]

Who?

[E]

I don't even know who that is.

[Larry]

You know, her tea with.

[Kai]

Wait, let me hold your hand When I say, baby, I hope you're okay. God bless.

[E]

I don't know what it is.

[Kai]

Oh, thank God.

[Drew]

Oh, my God. It's low key. Like, I. The thing is, I don't even have any sort of trauma. I look at that. I'm like, honestly, where's my coffee? From scammer to scammer. You. You did it. You did it. No, I'm not.

[Kai]

Girl, your phone's gone.

[E]

Well.

[Kai]

Well, your phone's gone. It's in her pocket.

[Drew]

Also, me, I'm like, wait.

[Larry]

Oh, it's a refrigerator. Oh, thank you.

[Kai]

Trade. Stop trying to.

[Larry]

That was trade as know, right? That was crazy.

[Drew]

But is a man who man is questionable. Yeah, he is a boy. I thought he was gay, and I met him on Twitter and we were friends over One Direction, and then he tried to have sex with me, like, on multiple occasions.

[E]

Oh, that's scary. Also, gay tries to. You was terrifying. It's literally like, you are gay. Oh, my God. You're one of them. You was waiting for the gay nigga to try to fuck you with.

[Larry]

Drew.

[Drew]

The thing is, I wanted you really bad, but also everybody who would be like, would you make out with him? Would you have sex with him? I was like, oh, you might have.

[E]

Been young enough to have, like, friendship, admiration, and romantic, like, wanting to have sex with somebody confused, because I've had that before.

[Drew]

Oh, I think I had that with, like, all of my early friendships.

[Kai]

I was like, let's have sex.

[Drew]

I was like, wait, we're so close. We can have sex.

[E]

Yeah.

[Drew]

I still do.

[E]

Same. No, same, same, same.

[Kai]

Same thing. I think it's a bad thing.

[E]

Me and Larry went to a concert about three weeks ago. Got so drunk, all I remember about the concert is Larry and my tongue touching.

[Kai]

We were making out.

[E]

We were making.

[Larry]

We still haven't kissed yet.

[Drew]

I know we need to kiss. We're, like, saving it.

[Larry]

We're saving it for me.

[Drew]

We're really serving Mormon with it.

[E]

We're like, would you ever do a lavender marriage?

[Larry]

Yeah, of course.

[Drew]

We talked about it. Would y' all?

[Kai]

Yeah.

[E]

No.

[Kai]

Oh.

[Drew]

Oh.

[Kai]

Actually, she's dead to me. Yeah. I hate her.

[Drew]

God, you're seriously gonna reject your boyfriend on camera?

[Kai]

What the fuck?

[E]

I'm my boyfriend.

[Kai]

Did y' all notice how. Wait, can we, like, really talk about it, though? Y' all notice how I became more masculine ever since I started hanging out with her?

[Larry]

Wait, that.

[Drew]

No, I genuinely have. When you were sitting here, you grabbed her thigh at one point, I was.

[E]

Like, he always grabs my thigh.

[Kai]

And I'm like, she hits me.

[Drew]

I'm just kidding.

[E]

No.

[Kai]

When I don't film with her. Trey. Exactly. She hits me.

[E]

Y' all see how he calls her friends? Oh, spooky. When Larry puts his hands on me, I'm like, larry. Larry is a cancer. Larry's very emotional, wants to be like this. I said, larry used to have a boy hand. So every time he touched my thumb, like, is you trying to fuck? Because I feel like this is. I know.

[Drew]

I know what you're talking about. Because when me and Drew, especially when we first started getting physically affectionate, even now, sometimes I'm like, are we pushing?

[Larry]

I know. Literally this morning. This morning, we were literally like. She was like, can you get in my bed and lay on me? And I was like, yeah, sure. So I just, like, laid on her legs like this for, like, five hours. And I was, like, sitting there, and I was like, this is, like, really intimate. This is really intimate.

[Drew]

I needed warmth. I literally felt like one of the grandparents from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory this morning. Like, I couldn't get up.

[E]

My husband, too.

[Drew]

Yeah. Like, I can't get up.

[Kai]

You guys are cute. She texts me like, I'm her boyfriend sometimes. Yeah, I text her today. I was like, no, I texted her yesterday, and I was like, go look at therapy. She said, thank you, baby.

[E]

Oh, yes. I say, baby, mommy, honey, sugar, love.

[Kai]

She calls me Ms. Nigg.

[E]

Yes.

[Kai]

Yes.

[E]

What? I call you when you close the door. Oh. I said, you such a gentle Girl.

[Larry]

Gentle. Gentle.

[Kai]

No, I am gentle. I'm gentle. Okay, I have a curious question. Live together.

[Drew]

Sorry, no.

[Larry]

Speak. Speak.

[Drew]

No.

[Kai]

You speak Queen. Yes. Mother.

[Drew]

Guys scared. Would you ever live together?

[E]

No.

[Kai]

I said yes. She said no because she said, she'll be mean to me.

[Drew]

There's a lot happening here.

[Kai]

She. It's one of those things where I'm.

[E]

Like, I got diagnosed yesterday with this. This is an issue with me. I started going to therapy right now because I'm in a two week break from, like, doing any work. And I was like, I need to go see a therapist. I'm getting a second to sit and think for myself. And I went to therapy and I told her, like, I. How, like, when my friends touch me, it kind of makes my skin crawl. And like, when I get in a fight with, like, a significant other, I just blocked him on everything. I'm like, them. I don't need nobody. And my therapist was like, have you ever heard of reactive attachment disorder? And it's a disorder that you get, like, you diagnose children with this disorder, and it's because one or two of the caregivers in your life you couldn't depend on. So you decided that you can't depend on anybody as an adult, so you never attach to anyone securely. So me saying I couldn't live with him is probably just that.

[Drew]

But I feel like y' all could live.

[Kai]

I think we could. But also, one thing about our friendship that I've noticed is that, like, I would say the universe put us in each other's lives for a specific reason, for healing. And I am very, like, warm, loving, and I feel like she never really had a friend that didn't compete with her or try to take from her. And I've literally showed her unconditional love. And I feel like she became such a gentle, soft, angelic.

[Larry]

You really have opened up.

[Drew]

I know.

[Kai]

It is, and it's so sweet to see.

[E]

Thanks.

[Larry]

It is.

[Drew]

When I noticed y' all, like, getting closer, I was like, damn. I like, at first I was like, oh, I wonder if, like, they're gonna get super close. And then the amount I've like, y' all are always together now. And I'm like, I just love it because I know what that feels like.

[E]

Having somebody like that.

[Kai]

It was so hard. Like, I used to literally be friends with everybody because I didn't know what, like, a friendship looked like because I was. I was raised in the hood, so I didn't know what community felt like. And then meeting her, I was like, oh, wow. So you genuinely do fuck with me.

[Larry]

Me. It's like. Cause it's really, like, a line. That's also how I feel about all of us. Like, we literally are like, what is that theory? There's, like, that string.

[Drew]

Invisible string.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Larry]

Invisible string theory.

[E]

Like, we've known each other for, what, a decade? Almost a decade.

[Kai]

Literally too long. Your contact on my phone is.

[E]

Ditto 2026.

[Kai]

That's crazy.

[E]

Kind of known each other for a decade.

[Larry]

You know what's crazy? A decade.

[Kai]

A decade of What?

[Larry]

Of friendship.

[E]

2016, almost 10 years ago. Like, why is that in two years, in one year, it's 2025.

[Larry]

No, it's not.

[Drew]

Wait, what? It is 2025.

[E]

So next year, it'll be a decade since 2016.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Larry]

And that was the greatest year.

[Drew]

We've all known each other since, like, even 2014, though.

[E]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Because I. In my head, I categorize all of us having met on, like, vine and Twitter.

[E]

Yeah. Because I'm just like, yes, there's been 2015. Twitter.

[Larry]

Yeah.

[E]

And Vine. 2014 was mine.

[Drew]

2014.

[E]

I was 13.

[Drew]

What were you gonna say?

[Kai]

That shoe's crazy. Give me Claro's number.

[Drew]

Honestly.

[Kai]

Juno.

[Drew]

For 150. For a 150 Essence gift card? I'll think about it.

[E]

150?

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Larry]

Okay.

[E]

It's all you can do for 150.

[Drew]

I mean, easily. I've been eating a vase.

[E]

I want to be a pottery class.

[Drew]

Oh, you're drinking now?

[Kai]

Oh, no, girl. I just finished it. I had anxiety coming on this, so I finished, like, five beers before I sat down.

[Larry]

Gnarly.

[Kai]

I'll tell them my business, Gwen.

[Drew]

Seriously, guys, Seriously.

[Larry]

Or what?

[Drew]

No, it's okay. You guys could be open here.

[Kai]

Girl, I almost. You up. I'm not gonna do that to you.

[E]

Me up.

[Drew]

You can't hit her.

[Kai]

I can do whatever I want. I'm gay.

[Larry]

No.

[E]

And you beat his ass.

[Kai]

Wait, what happened? Why is she cute?

[Drew]

You bitch. You bitch.

[Larry]

Drew. Thank you, Drew.

[Drew]

Thank you.

[Kai]

Drew, thank you, thank you.

[E]

Because you're really being fucked with me.

[Larry]

I'm sorry, Drew. I'm sorry, Drew. No, no, no.

[Kai]

I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it, but I'm.

[Drew]

Not gonna do it. Leave him alone.

[E]

I don't know what's going on and what demons y' all got, but let me pray for the rue. Father, heavenly Jesus, God, please take the demons out. These.

[Drew]

How do you have. So why do you have so many? No, I'm.

[E]

I'm feeling prayer mid prayer.

[Drew]

That's the demon. That's the demon. That's the demon.

[Kai]

The demon was demon.

[Drew]

Me. No.

[Kai]

I rebuke. I rebuke. I rebuke. Honey. Balenciag. Okay.

[Larry]

Literally crying right now.

[Kai]

Yeah, that felt good.

[E]

That was therapy for me.

[Kai]

You know how good that felt? I feel alive again.

[Drew]

I know it is fucked up how fun it is. Don't touch me.

[Kai]

Don't touch me.

[Drew]

Don't.

[Kai]

Are you okay?

[E]

Yeah. I gagged you. The scream.

[Kai]

It did, but I'm used to it. Abusive shit really does get stuck everywhere, though.

[Larry]

Yeah, that's good.

[E]

Thank you, Inya. Thank you.

[Larry]

Pretty, pretty, pretty. Yes.

[Kai]

I love when girls help.

[E]

You're jealous.

[Kai]

You guys are just lesbians.

[Drew]

Girls.

[E]

We're girls.

[Drew]

Girls. We're just girls. Girls.

[Kai]

We're some poppers.

[Larry]

The poppers. I literally have girls.

[E]

Girlhood. It's just girlhood right now.

[Larry]

Wait, I'm a girl's girl.

[Kai]

Mother.

[E]

Yes.

[Drew]

Also, I love your tattoos. I don't think I've ever said, oh, no.

[E]

Larry is a witch and this is her sigil.

[Larry]

Brujaria.

[E]

Every time. Bruharia.

[Kai]

She's projecting. Where's Josiah? Is he in your attic?

[Larry]

He's actually.

[Drew]

No, he's coming.

[Larry]

He's coming.

[Kai]

Wait, can I be honest? I genuinely am worried.

[Larry]

Why?

[Kai]

Josiah scares me.

[Larry]

He. Wait.

[Drew]

Scares me when he meets new people, too.

[E]

Why?

[Drew]

Because he's freaky. He's so scary.

[Larry]

He's a queen.

[Drew]

He just lies to everybody. Like, he.

[Larry]

He'll just lie to y' all.

[Drew]

He will literally just lie. Because I think it's like, Josiah is one of the best people I've ever met. But if you can get. You have to get through, like, the first. What was that?

[Kai]

Did you hear that?

[Larry]

Oh, my God. I'm gonna kill.

[Kai]

I have to shoot you. Get the gun. We have to kill them. We have to kill them all. I'm not even kidding. Like, if I stutter in front of somebody, I have to shoot them on silence. You're. You have to die. I'm sorry, guys. You like that?

[Drew]

Guys, get her back.

[E]

Like that again.

[Drew]

Wait, was that a burp?

[E]

That was a burp. That's like.

[Drew]

Guys, let's just air each other out. I think I don't have anything fun, though. I already said my last thing on the last episode that went up today. My admission was one time in back and forth traffic. I did a nasty face to a woman, and I can't do it, so.

[E]

You have to do it.

[Drew]

She did that because she made me really mad.

[E]

She cut you Off, Right?

[Drew]

Yeah, I was. I remembered today when I was driving, because I was thinking about it, and I was like, why did I get so mad at that? But it was because I was at the airport, and she was trying to cut me off as I was leaving, and I was like, okay, if you gave it two more seconds, I would have left. And then I wasn't going fast enough for her.

[E]

No. So you're playing with my life, so I'm about to play in your thing. Don't cut me off.

[Larry]

Exactly.

[Kai]

She's actually on Sniffies. Do you know what Sniffy's is?

[Larry]

No, what is.

[Kai]

She knows everything.

[E]

I don't know what Snippies is. Y' all see, Lorraine knows what Snippies. Yes.

[Larry]

No, I know.

[Drew]

Backfire.

[Kai]

But because it's this bitch being like, she faced him. She goes, what a Sniffy.

[E]

Because I'm always around gay. Because I work on so many different sets with, like, hair stylists and stuff, and they're like, sniffy, Sniffy. I'm like, larry. What? Sniffy.

[Larry]

Yes. We've played it before.

[E]

Sniffies. You literally see dick in balls by you.

[Drew]

Oh, yeah.

[Larry]

Crazy. I know that sounds. It's literally the greatest thing of all time.

[Drew]

To me, that is an active threat. If I can get on my phone and there was men who wanted to have sex, I'd be like.

[E]

And it's just, like, open assholes walking towards my girl.

[Drew]

It's actually such a vibe that we've come so far with technology.

[Kai]

You guys, let Drew speak.

[Larry]

I was going to say it's just crazy because it has your location, like, locked. Wait, what was that?

[Kai]

I'm going to slay.

[Larry]

Am I? Am I trade? Am I?

[Ryan Seacrest]

You are.

[Kai]

You are.

[Larry]

I'm trying.

[Kai]

You was trade. Now you're just gay.

[Larry]

Gay.

[Kai]

But, like, I love it, though, because you're one of us.

[Larry]

Yeah, I'm a queen. I'm a queen. But it's crazy because Sniffy literally, like, doxes you. It literally, like, it's down to your point. Like, they just updated it recently where it will like, make your location, like, 300ft from where you actually are. But, like, literally just, like, you'll walk up the street and you'll see, like, a dick and balls on Sniffies. And you know exactly what house.

[E]

Why do you know so much?

[Kai]

So much? That's what I'm.

[Larry]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Knowing the, like, the coding, really crazy.

[Kai]

You got stuck in it.

[Larry]

I actually don't know why. I know that you got Juvederm. I do.

[Drew]

I do own Stocking or is it a website?

[Larry]

A website.

[Kai]

You would like to know, huh?

[Drew]

Yeah, actually, I would.

[Larry]

Yeah. First of all, I'm really digging myself into a hole.

[Kai]

I love finding twinks and then just making them your little accessories.

[Larry]

I know. We're little toys.

[Kai]

That's all we are to these girls.

[Drew]

No, it's more your warm bodies, your people to walk with us. But when I got to go to the car, Drew can walk with me to the car, and people will think we're dating until they hear us talk.

[E]

Larry never gives straight when we. When we together. Every time we go to a coffee store, you go, hey, girl. And the coffee store lady be like.

[Kai]

Hey, Loren, I'm the people's princess.

[Larry]

As you should.

[Drew]

I wish I was somebody like that. I really have a hard time talking to. Like, when anybody in public tries talking to me.

[E]

Like, yeah.

[Drew]

What?

[E]

No, Literally scared for a life.

[Drew]

I went to the art store. Like, the girl behind the counter is talking to me. I was like.

[Larry]

Yeah, Short circuiting.

[Drew]

Yeah. Literally. I ended up signing up for a membership because, like, she was just talking to me, and I'm like, yeah, thank you.

[Larry]

You got a credit card open.

[Drew]

I didn't know what to do. I was too scared to tell her no and to be like, stop talking to me. So I was just like, yes.

[E]

I just. No, I do the same thing because I, like, it's the small talk that I'm not good at. So I just kind of overshare to try to create some form of connection. I hate when I text, hang out with some, like, text, make a fake plan to hang out with somebody. They probably don't think it's fake. And then the next day, they're like, what are we doing? And nothing again. So. And then it comes. Literally four days. I'm like, I think I'm depressed right now.

[Larry]

Yeah, I'm going to kill myself.

[E]

I'm getting 5,150 later.

[Larry]

Yeah, right. I have to go to the hospital involuntarily.

[E]

I feel like I'm sweating.

[Kai]

Wait, what?

[E]

You're sweating?

[Kai]

I'm sweating. Can I change my shirt?

[Larry]

I'm sweating as.

[Kai]

Can I change my shirt? You guys can.

[Larry]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Drew]

Oh, wow.

[Larry]

Well, actually, I have one thing before you go. So we were talking about Playlist earlier live and Vidcon. Do you remember sleeping on my mom's hotel rooms floor?

[Kai]

I don't remember anything past 2020.

[Larry]

Anything back or before.

[Drew]

Oh, no.

[Kai]

Yeah. I don't remember anything before 2020, when.

[Larry]

We were, like, first planning to, like, get Together. My mom was like, oh, yeah. He slept on my floor. Like, he slept on my floor at VidCon. And it was like, Issa Twain's like, everyone, we were just, like, partying as.

[Kai]

Wait, I was lit as.

[Larry]

Yeah, we were, like, blackout drunk. And my mom was just like, okay, yeah, y' all have fun.

[Kai]

Your mom was a key.

[E]

I remember hanging out with y' all for the first time, and I was literally a baby. I was like, let me laugh at all their jokes, even though I didn't get any of them. And I just remember hanging out y' all. Y' all had y whole friend group, and y, like, come. Come in our hotel room. And then y' all was like, scuba Doobert. Y' all thought it was the funniest thing ever.

[Larry]

It's still the funniest.

[Kai]

Wait, what's Scuba Dubert?

[E]

We knew his real name.

[Kai]

Scuba Dubert is his real name.

[E]

And y' all, it was like. It wasn't just a second of a joke. It was literally, like, three hours of Dubert.

[Kai]

I'm sorry, because I literally don't remember any memory before 2020. Do we meet a lot or do we hang out a lot?

[Larry]

Because I had, like, contact in three or four times.

[Drew]

Like, we went to so many parties together.

[Larry]

Because when you live the Bryce hall parties, huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kai]

I don't remember.

[Larry]

With your manager. He would, like, bring us into the bathroom and try to get me.

[Drew]

Wait, because your manager was that little white guy?

[Kai]

The one that tried to kill me?

[Drew]

Yeah, because that. He was the first person I ever saw do coke, and I was really scared.

[Kai]

Are you serious?

[Larry]

Yeah. In that bathroom. Do you remember K. K's house?

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Larry]

Kay's house.

[Drew]

K's house.

[Kai]

Loved her.

[E]

We could do an entire episode on, like, having bad teams.

[Larry]

Yeah.

[E]

For real.

[Kai]

He pulled a shotgun out on me. That was a vibe.

[Larry]

Wait, yeah, you said that earlier. I need to know that.

[Kai]

Oh, no. So many times he tried to kill me. The shotgun was because I was moving out, and he had the shotgun while I was packing with Issa being like, girl, I think he has a shotgun. And I was like, girl, he would never. And then, girl, he's like. When I was literally walking Milo to my car, he was like, all right, I'm just making sure I'm safe, because, you know, you guys are crazy in this. And literally had the shotgun like this waiting for us to, like, do something. Girl, I was twinkling.

[Larry]

Was there, like, down, like, what's the.

[Kai]

What could I do?

[Drew]

Also not even that, but, like, that is A grown man. Like what?

[E]

Like you were literally a kid.

[Kai]

I was a kid too, also. Even if you were like 24 at the time. 25.

[E]

No 24 year old should be managing anything.

[Larry]

Yeah, exactly.

[E]

You think everybody's so much older until you get to that age and you're.

[Kai]

Like, yeah, oh, 100.

[Drew]

When I was like 17, somebody who was 26, which I am now, I.

[Larry]

Was like, damn geriatric. You must have your life figured out.

[Drew]

You've seen. I'm sure you've seen a lot now.

[Larry]

The 30 year olds, you don't even really have wrinkles. The 30 year olds I know now are like actually batshit crazy like that. It's. It's really shocking how like no one actually ever grows up.

[E]

Anyone that I know over the age of 35. Me and them key and I'm 24. It's like, oh, why can't we relate? We're all the same at the end of the day.

[Kai]

There's a lot of influencers that are like pushing 30s now that are still in the Peter Pan syndrome.

[Larry]

Oh, I know.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Brett Rivera.

[E]

It never will leave.

[Kai]

And I feel so bad.

[Drew]

Wait, how old is Brett Rivera?

[Kai]

The 40? 45? 63.

[Larry]

45.

[E]

On a good strong morning.

[Drew]

Because in my head, I've never known his age. Like, I always thought he AI.

[Larry]

No, literally, I've never seen him in person.

[E]

Me neither.

[Drew]

That's something I've never seen. I feel like I've seen a lot of people.

[E]

I've seen Logan Paul in person.

[Larry]

Whoa.

[E]

Logan Paul introduced himself to me at a nightclub in Miami, and I was just friends with a girl that he was dating at the time.

[Larry]

Wait, you were dating a girl?

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Larry]

Oh, cute.

[E]

You're not Logan Paul. Mumble.

[Kai]

Oh, no. You just unlock the memory every. That you fully. Just like I went, oh, my God. I remember every time you would talk about Jake Paul and Logan Paul in like 2020, you would be like, if I saw them, I would collapse.

[E]

Exactly, exactly. I would always.

[Kai]

And that was your bit.

[E]

I said my bit was like, I will never, ever, ever meet them. And then I'm at this nightclub in Miami probably like four ago. And I look and it's like, Logan Paul. And he's like, hi, I'm Logan. And he's probably seen how many times I said I would never introduce myself to him. And I was like.

[Kai]

He grabs you by your neck.

[E]

And then I went into spiritual for the next two years. I was that.

[Larry]

That like one hulk.

[E]

Like, no, I swear to God, I was going through spiritual psychosis. After I touched him, there was, like, this statue that was made into a chair. It was like, like. And I, like, grabbed the statue by his face and I was like, you don't want to be here, do you?

[Larry]

Oh, he ruined you. I mean, he has really demonic energy, actually.

[Drew]

I know he.

[Larry]

He's really demonic.

[Drew]

Well, I have. I have to find it, cuz it's on one of my phones that's sitting in my cabinet. I have unedited vlog footage of Logan Paul in, like, 2019 when I was on that random ass brat show that was legendary.

[E]

I was pissed as that I never got casted. Damn, I wanted it.

[Drew]

I literally did it. Like, it's so humiliating. I did it because I was like, I'm going to make fun of everyone here.

[E]

Oh, yeah.

[Larry]

That was her whole thing. Her whole thing was she was going to go in and, like, shoot a mockumentary where she was, like, a diva on set. And, like, it was like this whole thing they had planned out, and Josh.

[Drew]

Filmed a bunch of it. And then I was like.

[E]

But I like, yeah, that's how I was during the Hype House during the pandemic.

[Larry]

Oh, hi.

[Kai]

Don't look at me. What, the Beyonce? Yeah, go for it.

[Drew]

I was gonna say, I feel like. Yeah, it's hard to go in. And even as I feel like all of us are very good at looking at someone being like, I would never.

[E]

Yeah.

[Drew]

It'S way harder because, yeah, I.

[Kai]

Was, like, a little bit afraid of it.

[Drew]

Yeah. It's almost like I forget, are y' all friends with, like, anybody from the Hype House?

[E]

I literally, during the fires, I need to park my car at somebody's house because my house got evacuated and they closed off my neighborhood. And I texted Ms. Heidi D' Amelio. She said, bring the car on over. Took care of my car while I was away. I'm still friends with Dixie. I'm still real good friends with Addison.

[Larry]

Just followed me on Instagram like, a week ago.

[E]

She's finally tapping in.

[Larry]

Okay, good. Yeah, Yeah, I don't blame. I'll let her. I'll let her.

[E]

She's bad.

[Kai]

I don't believe she's beautiful.

[E]

She's literally beautiful. I'm like, dixie, get into the model bag, please.

[Drew]

I know.

[E]

But love Addison sitting down.

[Larry]

Yeah, she's goaded.

[E]

I never really talked. I spoke to Charlie. Me and Charlie have had, like, conversations, but I never was like, friend, let's go hang out one on one. Because I didn't. I wish people didn't do that. To me, when I was.

[Larry]

How is it filming the show?

[Drew]

That is, like, such a good way.

[E]

I was like, I don't want to be your friend as deep as I could be your friend because I'm going to negatively impact you because I'm tweaked out right now.

[Larry]

How was it filming the show?

[E]

Oh, good. They would be like. I would. We would go to. We would go on set, and they'd be like, okay, so today, y' all are gonna just wake up from a sleepover and talk, mic you up. And I'd be like. And we talk. It was fun.

[Larry]

That's you. That's a vibe.

[E]

How was it?

[Kai]

The show or being friends with them?

[E]

Being friends with them. Are you still friends with any of them?

[Kai]

I'm still friends with, like, the same people you mentioned. I honestly think it was one of those things where I was going into it, like, oh, I'm gonna make this a joke. And then I ended up meeting really sweet people, regardless of the Internet perception of them. I found out that people from, like, I don't know, places that I would never see myself hanging around were people that I can relate to. And then, honestly, I would say, like, the show was just, like. It was just sweet. Everyone was so nice. Yeah, it's just. Everyone's nice, and it sucks to, like, be like, oh, these people are literally evil. But, like, no, not all of them are bad.

[Drew]

Yeah. Especially when you're working on sets like that. The production team, like, it's a whole different set of faces that you get close to. You're gonna be seeing them every day, spending hours with them. It's hard not to get close. So I was just like, I can't do that to you. Like, that would actually feel like.

[E]

So, yeah, I would be a.

[Drew]

Actually, it's not funny.

[E]

That's how I felt about my High Pals mockumentary.

[Drew]

I was like, did you burp again?

[E]

And it's like. It's like. It goes into my nose. It's like spongebob when you see the green squiggles. I literally just had Erewhon.

[Kai]

Erewhon is poisonous.

[Drew]

Honestly, you're not gonna get a smoothie.

[E]

Take it back.

[Kai]

I love Erewhon. You know Lisa from Blackpink?

[Larry]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kai]

I just ran into her at Erewhon.

[Larry]

Oh, really? Yes.

[Kai]

I was gagged.

[Larry]

That is.

[Kai]

I said, you should take it.

[Larry]

A picture.

[Drew]

Honestly.

[E]

Have you ever asked for a picture from someone? Yes, I don't think I have.

[Larry]

It was, like, a collaboration, but Bella Hadid.

[Drew]

Oh, Abby Miller.

[Larry]

She Was down for it. Oh, yeah. Abby Lee Miller.

[Drew]

They've gotten a lot of self.

[Larry]

Literally, I've seen her four different times in public. Like, invisible energy around her. Yeah, yeah. She. She has an aura of evil around her, and she'll be, like, rolling in her wheelchair, and you can, like, see it, like. Like, following her. But one of the times we were like, it's always me and Josiah for some reason. I was like, can I get a picture with her or with you? And she was like, yeah, make it quick. And then she, like, grabbed my phone and then, like, brought it to the angle, and, like, it was so funny. She, like, stabbed up. But no, she, like, had her angles all figured out. Same with Gypsy Rose.

[Kai]

You met Gypsy Rose?

[E]

I cannot believe. Yeah, I was jealous.

[Larry]

It was.

[E]

It was sweet girl.

[Kai]

Where did you meet Gypsy at?

[Larry]

She invited us to her, like, premiere of, like, her docu series show or reality.

[Kai]

She was watching all in prison.

[Larry]

I don't know how she.

[Drew]

I think, like, her team showed us to her, and we had talked about her so many times, and they were trying to find, like, influencers to go to this thing, so they showed her a bunch of people, and then she liked me and Drew.

[Larry]

Yeah.

[Drew]

So we got. We were chosen by the killer, and.

[Larry]

They gave us, like, a little table with our names on it and everything.

[Drew]

That's actually the nice.

[Larry]

And then.

[E]

You'Re like, Grim Reaper.

[Larry]

Also. Gypsy's. Her whole family just took our table and sat there. But, like, all of the characters in the family.

[Drew]

Yeah, like, yeah, they kind of really stepped up on us. We had our little name tag on this table in the corner. And then when the premiere ended, they all came out and went.

[Larry]

Went, yeah, and just moved our.

[Drew]

Moved our stuff at all. Side.

[Larry]

Also, the girl in the back corner.

[Drew]

No, we literally stood by the table. We were just like, okay.

[Larry]

It was crazy. And the girl that Chloe Sevignier played in the show, like, which is, like, basically her, like, mother now had her and Gypsy as the background on her phone. And she sat it down, and it unlocked, and she just, like, had her phone unlocked. And I could have gone through, like, Gypsy's, like, mother's phone saying, like, I.

[Drew]

And I could have.

[Kai]

Have.

[Larry]

I should have.

[E]

My. I don't know.

[Kai]

It doesn't sound illegal.

[Drew]

Wait, if somebody. Can I just, like, take them to small claims court.

[E]

Small claims court.

[Larry]

What are you hiding in your phone?

[Kai]

Yeah, what do you got here?

[Drew]

What am I not hiding on my phone?

[Larry]

You got games on your phone?

[Drew]

Actually, no. Like, literally. No.

[Larry]

I don't Yeah, I don't play games.

[E]

Do you have porn on your phone or do you not indulge? I literally quit.

[Drew]

I, like, really, really for a second.

[E]

I quit for a second.

[Larry]

That's lit.

[Drew]

I did for a second because I started taking Prozac and then I wasn't, like, hitting. Yeah, I was like, what?

[E]

And then you got back into it. I know. If I'm in a relationship and I'm getting into my nightly reads, as I like to call them, then I need to break up with that person.

[Drew]

Oh, that is a good. I guess that is a good sign.

[Kai]

Baby Girl of the dark D. I'm AI.

[Drew]

Have you seen it?

[Kai]

No, I haven't.

[Larry]

I remember.

[Kai]

Y' all want to talk about it? Yay. I'm your assistant. Baby girl talk. Do girl stuff.

[Larry]

Do it. Yeah, we'll watch.

[Drew]

Okay. So I got on here and I said I liked Baby Girl and people didn't like it. And I think it's just because it was like a sex. Like what I don't like. I don't know. But it makes me. Now I feel perverted.

[E]

I'm like, baby Girl is everything. I'm sorry you don't get trade like we do, but Baby Girl is teen. You actually get that work in real life.

[Drew]

Wait, what do you mean? The woman who has to be like a mother, a boss, a caretaker, this or that that she has to have a little fun.

[E]

And I like how he, like, is laughing at her the whole time. He's like, oh, you think you high? Okay. Like, he's like. Like, that's what gags me in. When I meet somebody and they don't bow down to whatever what they could be bowed down to. And they're like, okay. So I'm like, I know.

[Drew]

I guess. Yeah, Too crazy. Must be, like, exactly two crazy.

[E]

When he told her. Wait, wait, girl. Okay. I can really get nasty.

[Kai]

Get nasty.

[E]

The way that she was masturbating on her stomach. I know. I liked it.

[Drew]

I was, like, starting off hot.

[Larry]

Wait, can you show me how it was done? Just.

[Drew]

Yeah. Lay on the floor.

[Larry]

No, you, you, you.

[Drew]

We're going to use you. Lay on the floor and rub your clit.

[E]

Oh, let's go.

[Larry]

You have a yeah.

[E]

Period.

[Kai]

Wait, wait.

[Drew]

Also, I feel like I. I literally.

[Kai]

Feel like I' a bathroom with two drunk girls.

[Larry]

I know.

[Kai]

Have your fun. This is like taking our kids out talking.

[Drew]

We're basically talking about softcore.

[E]

I'm like, another 50 shades of gray. I remember reading and this probably was terrible for the development of my mind, but during independent reading. Yeah, during independent reading time in the fifth grade, I would go to IMDb and type in synopsis and I would just read all the sex movies because my mom wouldn't let me me see them. And I think it did something to the development of my brain cuz.

[Larry]

Locked in.

[Drew]

And I, I, when I was going to watch, I was like, bro, I don't give a. And literally the second. I'm so sorry, but her finishing having sex and then going to master, I was like, and you. And you go, queen, my queen, my. Go to the closet and get yours.

[E]

Get yours like, get yours like. Oh my gosh. My therapist. This was telling me that you should be in alignment with your mind, your heart and your genitals, which represents your health. Your heart represents like your soul and your mind represents your logic when you're engaging with somebody sexually or in like in a relationship. And like she, her fucking vagina, her genitals was not pleased and like she was out of alignment and that's why she cheated.

[Drew]

Yeah, 100%.

[Larry]

When a girl cheats, it's okay. I also fully believe that I'm like, what did the man do?

[E]

Thank you.

[Drew]

I feel like I would. Yeah, no, actually there's no man in my life if, if any man confided me and that he cheated, but I guess specifically on a woman.

[Larry]

What if I cheated?

[Drew]

No, that's fine.

[Larry]

Yeah, like it's.

[E]

I don't think gays can cheat.

[Larry]

Yeah, everybody's. Everybody's open every.

[E]

It's free. It's free.

[Kai]

Wait, so you gay your boy that you were talking about on Tick Tock Boombok Clock. Clock. Was that the boy that you were talking about in your podcast?

[Larry]

When I made a TikTok, everybody thought it was him and it was driving me insane. And it's DL trade. Not actually DL trade. He's not DL, but he's trade in Texas. DL trade.

[Kai]

Also, I need to learn how to speak English, cuz. What did I just say? Tik tok boom bok clock.

[E]

Clock. What?

[Larry]

I knew exactly what you were talking about.

[Kai]

He liked it, right?

[Larry]

I knew what you were talking about. No, he's from Texas.

[Kai]

Guess dropped his location while you're at it.

[Larry]

I should say his location.

[Kai]

Is he top?

[Larry]

I don't know.

[E]

Are you top? Answer at the same time. Are you top or bottom?

[Larry]

On girl, I'm a side.

[Drew]

Shut the up.

[E]

What do you think I am?

[Larry]

You're a top.

[Kai]

Top for sure.

[Larry]

A hundred percent a top.

[E]

What do you think?

[Drew]

I feel like I could see you playing both sides.

[E]

Thank you.

[Drew]

I think for the right. I. I think it really, like, you rub me as somebody who you get to the room and it's like, I want this. You want. Okay.

[E]

Yeah. Yes, yes.

[Kai]

Very versatile.

[E]

I would never top A in my life.

[Kai]

She told me you were short, hurt.

[Larry]

What?

[Kai]

And now I'm gagged because I was like, oh, he's short by.

[E]

I told him you were five' five because he was hyping you up so much. I was I need Kai moment. I never had my Kai moment. So I tried to just quickly. I was like, girl, I never got my pizza.

[Kai]

I was gagged. When I look around, he's like, yo, I'm Kai.

[Drew]

What you were expecting?

[Kai]

Like, yay, Hi, buddy. No, same damn. Like, wait.

[E]

I didn't get my turn. So now you want your own turn?

[Kai]

That's fine. I don't even want to turn in my. I got eyes somewhere else, girl.

[Drew]

You guys already have a situation happening, so it's like, up for you to.

[Kai]

Like, to do that in front of him. Baby, stop acting like that.

[E]

I would never do nothing with you.

[Kai]

Yeah, she plays hard.

[Larry]

Oh, my God.

[Kai]

So funny.

[Larry]

I literally love y' all so much. I could literally watch y' all talk for like five hours.

[Kai]

Because I'm like, no. You know, I just see when we go at it on FaceTime.

[E]

Oh, it goes back, back and forth. Y' all should see us in a serious meeting. I cannot look at Larry.

[Larry]

India does the same thing. She does the same thing. She can't, like, look at me like, are you serious?

[E]

Like this? Like, you act like a businessman.

[Drew]

Like what? I know you're thinking the dumbest shit ever.

[Kai]

I'll text her the dumbest while we're.

[E]

On, like, a big call. Like, this determines the next six years. Larry's like booty cheeks. Like, girl, and I'm like, the same shit.

[Drew]

We'll literally have a notepad and be.

[Larry]

On zoom and be like, gay, loser, gay.

[E]

Absolutely no, like, no way we're in the room.

[Kai]

Oh, my God. I was on a business meeting for. Wait, I need girl. What?

[E]

Girl, I thought you had one of my.

[Kai]

I thought I got hacked by Elon David.

[Larry]

Privacy protection, bitch.

[Kai]

I was on this business meeting with caa. Yeah, she signed clock it. But however, though one of the fucking people in the CA meeting was like, yeah, you can do a pop up in, like, WEHO or something. I texted David. I said, he just sneaked me.

[Drew]

That was a sneak.

[Kai]

That was a sneak. I wanted to leave the call so fucking bad. A pop up in WeHo.

[Larry]

Well, my old manager used to be like, well, Drew, you're, like, the sassy one. You're the one that's sassy and has an attitude. You're so sassy. And I was like, wow.

[Kai]

No, it's actually insane in our space.

[E]

They really push the gauge in doing shit. Doing. During the pandemic and after the pandemic, like, I was not. Okay. I was not in charge of, like, my image. I was starting to do things where I go on appearances and, like, shoot shows for people. Girl, I needed me a shot before every single one.

[Drew]

Were you just, like, anxious or.

[E]

It was because I wasn't in control. Like, because I'm in control of my.

[Larry]

She's not gonna let you hit, bro.

[Kai]

Just one time. Please, please, please, please.

[E]

Larry, would you go fuck. You want to go in the bathroom?

[Kai]

You would take my stuff?

[Drew]

We have an air mattress.

[Kai]

I would come up like this.

[Drew]

It has a hole in it. The air mattress over there has a hole in it, and it has a shirt.

[Kai]

Your bathroom. You have a glory hole here?

[Drew]

No, I wish to. A glory hole would.

[E]

Drew would go to that club.

[Kai]

You're sick.

[Drew]

I lucky would. Yeah. I don't know if I would, like, join in on the festivity, but I would like to see.

[E]

I don't want to see y' all.

[Kai]

Are y' all the girls that like gay porn?

[E]

I particularly only won gay men.

[Kai]

Yeah. Gay porn.

[Larry]

That's in your gay man gay porn.

[Drew]

I've never. I'm not lying.

[E]

Wait, y' all. It's me. There was a time. There was a time. There was literally a time when I was, like, 18. Something around there where I was like, I don't believe straight porn, but I don't. I feel like there's no way gay can be lying about that. So. So gay porn would just be. Be so real to me. Like, straight point. I'd be like, she's cap. She's cap. Gay. I'm like, no way. This cap serious?

[Kai]

Yeah. The video of, like, the two guys in the car kissing and the black girls recording it.

[Larry]

Oh. Literally the greatest video of all time. Literally.

[Kai]

It was literally.

[E]

Do it again.

[Larry]

Do it again.

[E]

I love gay tea. I forgot who I was with, but I think it was. I think it was melon rg. She was like. Like a man having a dick. Did you barf again? This way. That's how I have prednisone.

[Kai]

She's gonna hit me when I get home.

[E]

I don't hit people.

[Kai]

She literally hits me.

[E]

Shut down syndrome. Are you avoidant or anxious attachment style or. I'm avoidant.

[Larry]

I'm avoidant.

[E]

I run after where you're like, talk to me. Talk to me.

[Drew]

I'm anxious attachment. Like, I.

[E]

If there is.

[Drew]

I'm like, I need this over now. Tell me what the issue is. And if you don't tell me the issue, I just going to tell you what my issue is.

[E]

Oh, my God.

[Larry]

That literally made my heart drop.

[Drew]

I'm like, you can reply when you want. I'm not going to press her for a reply or anything. I'm just like. Just so you know, I didn't like that.

[E]

That's how. That's how Larry is. Larry. Me and Larry will get in a tiff and he'll FaceTime me. I'll be like, Like, I really cannot answer the phone.

[Kai]

I text this exactly how I feel too. Let's get into that, cuz now you get out. No, no.

[E]

Because our tiff.

[Kai]

I texted her exactly how I feel. She said, it's okay. Thumbs it up. Whoa.

[Larry]

It's really that easy, though. It's that easy.

[Drew]

I was wrong.

[Kai]

How was I wrong?

[E]

Because you said that.

[Kai]

Four days left.

[Drew]

My life down. Don't bring it down.

[Larry]

It's six.

[E]

What? I just blown you. You might want to go get cleaned. And I rebuke it. We're all. We're all literally deluded.

[Kai]

But back to attachment styles, too. I get really nerv. Confronting people, but it's something I'm working on.

[E]

You don't get nervous.

[Kai]

I get nervous to do it. I do it because I. Oh, my God. If this is how it's going to be. War. Does you see me?

[E]

Yes.

[Kai]

Whose phones ring?

[Drew]

I feel like I don't like, I don't like.

[Kai]

But I have to force myself to do it.

[Drew]

Yeah. Because if I don't, then I'm just like. I feel like a.

[Larry]

A.

[Drew]

An idiot. I'm just like, well, now I wish.

[E]

I was like y' all, but I think, why am I not like y' all? I feel like I'm acting. If I was like y' all, like.

[Kai]

You think it's formative.

[E]

Yes. For me. Like, I don't. I'm like, I need to sit and gather and be like, well, you hurt my feelings. Because. But if I was like. Like, I can't even do like. Yeah, this type. That's why I've never been in a fight with nobody, buddy.

[Kai]

Yeah. I had to force myself to do it.

[Drew]

And now, yeah, I've like a fist fight. Not since like. But you've been, like, ninth grade.

[E]

I never have been in a fight in my life. And there's that. Deserve to fight. Where's the finger at?

[Drew]

I kind of think everyone should have, like, everybody who's been annoying. Like, I've had my ass. Glass falling, so I, like, feel like.

[E]

You've had your ass.

[Drew]

I've talked and saw the repercussions of that, and I feel like that taught me a lot at a young age.

[Kai]

Like, I got beat up.

[Drew]

Up? Yeah. I was tiny. I got beat up, like, twice. But, like, seven fights I got into.

[Larry]

I was a fighter.

[E]

Have you ever been?

[Larry]

No, but I punched.

[Drew]

She was big.

[Kai]

She was big.

[E]

Why?

[Larry]

Okay, so he, like, copied my Valentine's Day milk jug and, like, copied it verbatim. So I beat the what?

[Drew]

My Valentine's Day milk.

[E]

Speaking in Texan, I'm like, yes.

[Larry]

You get it. You get it, you get it. No, it was third grade, and he copied my, like. Like, we brought milk jugs, and then you, like, would customize them for Valentine's Day, and he copied mine verbatim. So I punched him in the face. Michael Golba. And I think I had a crush on him.

[E]

I get it.

[Kai]

You're seen.

[Larry]

Hey, you get it.

[Drew]

We're all seeing each other.

[Larry]

Do you remember Yalls first crush?

[Kai]

Can I help you?

[Drew]

Yes.

[Kai]

The g. My first crush.

[Larry]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kai]

Oh, my God. Yes. His name was Alexis, and he was actually my bully, and he literally made me want to kill myself.

[Larry]

Classic.

[Kai]

No, he actually moved away because his family was just doing shit. But he literally looked at me. I'm not even kidding. Verbatim. Was like, none of your friends. The friend group that I was in, none of us. Like you. Stop hanging.

[Larry]

Oh, my God.

[Kai]

And I sat in the hallway and cried.

[Larry]

That's so dark. Well, now you all have friends in us.

[Kai]

I know. Thank you. That was a little play. This feels performative.

[Larry]

No, it's real.

[Drew]

Yeah, we're faking.

[Larry]

Yeah. And this is not real.

[E]

I don't do that. And I don't know where the I am.

[Drew]

I would cry. I would cry all the time at school. Every time I got yelled at, I would literally cry, and I would cry so much. I was such a sensitive kid that in fifth grade, my teacher, Mrs. Hollywood.

[Kai]

I'm not Hollywood art.

[Drew]

Like, her name was Mrs. Hollywood.

[Larry]

My teacher's name was Ms. Vine Street.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Larry]

Ms. Vine Street.

[Kai]

Vine Street.

[Larry]

Yeah. The W Hotel.

[Drew]

Ms. W on Hollywood.

[Larry]

Yeah.

[Drew]

But one time she yelled at me and told me that I was being a sensitive baby and Then I never cried at school again because I got scared, and I was like, damn, do.

[E]

People think I'm a bitch?

[Larry]

My teacher.

[Drew]

I mean, I really was. I. I feel like Drew. I got close to Drew, but we didn't. It. I feel like our friend group didn't even get as emotionally close until, like, 2019. 2020. Like, I was so blocked off. I hated the idea of having a best friend. I thought that was me, too. Beautiful.

[E]

I was weak. Yeah, I need someone. That's what I. Yeah, I was like.

[Drew]

Oh, you like what? Because without your best friend, what are you gonna die?

[E]

Grow up.

[Drew]

Like, I didn't want to be close to people. I thought it was so weird, because I also hate.

[E]

I hated thinking that they could eventually usually leave me.

[Drew]

Oh, yeah, Because I had had that happen already too. I had kids I got close to who would, like, turn around and tell my secrets and that.

[E]

I was like, so you're like, oh, no, That's. Never forget anyone. Yes. My best friend will be the Internet real, though.

[Drew]

But now we got here, so now we're here.

[Larry]

Now we're in the kitchen with our emotional support gaze.

[Kai]

Literally, I love you straight, but.

[Drew]

Oh, you're not.

[Larry]

Wait. I need you. I need you to talk about the Darkness Retreat so badly.

[E]

Okay.

[Larry]

Like, dive in.

[E]

Always want to talk. Okay, ask me. What's the question?

[Larry]

What's the Darkness Retreat? What is it all about?

[E]

About the 16th billionth time I said.

[Larry]

This, I thought, we don't have to talk about.

[E]

No, we can. We can talk about it. We can talk about what?

[Larry]

The video is the greatest. The video is the greatest thing.

[Drew]

Honestly, what I will say is something I have always loved about the both of you is I genuinely do feel like y' all are both people, that if you have an idea and you want to do something, you will just literally do it. Like, y' all are just like, okay, yeah, I'm gonna go and do it.

[E]

Yeah.

[Kai]

So the Darkness Retreat, though, is, like, insane. When she told me she was doing it, I was like, oh, you go.

[E]

I did that for my 22nd birthday. I turned 22 in the darkness. When I came out with all birthday.

[Kai]

Masks, I'm not even call. I'm not even kidding. The first FaceTime she called me, she was like, hi, Larry.

[E]

Y' all don't understand what the went on. Okay, Y' all. A Darkness Retreat was when I. It was like, I seen it on my Instagram reels algorithm.

[Larry]

Yeah, you really don't need to follow Instagram reels advice.

[E]

It was videos of People taking off their glasses and looking around like they saw God. And I was like, I want to meet God. Let me go. So I call him and I'm like, I want to come join the Darkness retreat. They're like, we don't have any availability to 2027 because it's so booked out. And then they said, they called me back like a week later and they're like, we have availability from the 16th to the 20th. My birthday is the 17th. So I'm like, this is destiny. So it was in Portland, Oregon, where Nick biggest tweak.

[Drew]

You went to Portland for that? That. See, that to me is the scary. It's like being in Portland for some reason.

[Larry]

Like.

[Drew]

Like.

[E]

Crash apps. Yes. I went alone. There was a guy that met me at the. At the airport. He like came in this broke down Ford pickup truck. He had one curl sitting up straight in the middle of his head. He's like, I'm here to hold you and guide you through this experience.

[Larry]

Oh.

[E]

And I was like, oh, my God. I'm very excited. I'm very ready to receive.

[Larry]

Open.

[E]

And I get into the car and the music he turns on the aux is like.

[Larry]

Yes.

[E]

It was like a red soundtrack.

[Larry]

Yes.

[E]

It's like hereditary music. And we're driving through the woods. I'm like, alone. There's no service anymore.

[Larry]

Were you scared at any point, like.

[E]

You were gonna know? Because I tweak hard. I've always tweaked hard. I tweaked hard. And so, like, if you just, you know, a shroom. Like I was taking shrooms when. Yes. Yeah. Like I tweak hard. And so I was like, I'm about to go into the darkness. Me. God. So then I get there and it was on a commune and there was a wood fired sauna. There was like the Darkness Retreat, which were these cabins. And then there's this thing called Akiva. So first I went into the wood fire sauna. And it's called Preparing for the Darkness, where you just like chill and like acclimate to your experience. And there was this woman that had like the most beautiful voice of all time. And she's like. But it was like gorgeous, like better than Beyonce type shit. And she had two long filled with milk titties sitting on her lap. And each of each.

[Drew]

Sometimes it sounds like you're just describing like an episode of Super Jail or something. Like, what are you talking about?

[E]

Wait. And she, she was singing with her tit, titties out. And we were all naked, like, and.

[Drew]

They all the Movie like literally that is the ending of Baby Girl that we never got to see.

[E]

I was with Nicole Kidman. And so then after I get out the wood fired sauna and I get ready for the darkness and I would probably do that for about two days and I get ready for the darkness and it was like a house that had a room that was light proof. Like they went and got every shred of light out. Like not even a pin prick of light light. And it's like darker than closing your eyes and going in a closet. Like it's 10 times dark. It was insane level of dark. And one side of the room was a wood fire fireplace and then the other side was like the room that I stayed in. The room had like a bed, a bathtub, a sink and a yoga bed.

[Drew]

Wait, how did you do all that?

[E]

Oh, I like this. And then after.

[Drew]

How do you know you wiped all the way?

[E]

Oh, I didn't. I know I have stuff. Sticky cheeks.

[Kai]

Sticky cheeks is great.

[Larry]

Sticky cheek.

[E]

Sticky, sticky. My booty hole would just peel over. I'm kidding. I'm.

[Kai]

That's crazy.

[E]

So it's crazy. It's crazy what your body does when you it thinks you went blind. So every time I would go to sleep and wake up, I would have a panic attack that cuz my body thought I went blind. So it was trying to acclimate to that. They never gave me food like breakfast, lunch and dinner. They would give me meal prep for the entire next day every dinner. So I couldn't calculate the time. By the time they brought me the meals, I wrote in a journal the entire time in the darkness. Why was each paragraph perfect? None of the paragraphs touched. It's like all of your senses pick up times 100. I was in the darkness for 72 hours. I took a bath. I literally. I think I spoke to God.

[Kai]

I oh, that was him.

[Drew]

He's here.

[E]

I dead. I think I spoke to God. I like and I, I really wanted, like I really wanted to go into the darkness because I never experienced life without the Internet and without like this third point of view. Yeah. Of thinking like what? There's an audience behind all this. Like I always am even thinking about myself when I'm talking to someone about like how I'm being perceived all the time.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[E]

And I feel like that would take it away. So then I did my three days of the darkness and I came out and I was like, yeah, you can like they asked me before I went in.

[Larry]

You went to video?

[E]

Video's so bad. And I'M so mad that, like, the real algorithm picked it up because all the other videos have, like, 300 likes. My video had, like 700,000.

[Drew]

Because someone was like, is Quinn. They were like, someone also got it on their timeline. It was like, what? And went to the page and saw all these people.

[Larry]

They were like, what is going on?

[Drew]

Like, someone took you.

[E]

No, it does. Those people are like, this is the type of. That would get taken by cola. Like, I hate y' all.

[Drew]

I hate y' all.

[E]

But when I came out of the darkness, I. What was crazy was I was so interested in, like, eye contact because I hadn't been around, like, another human for 72 hours. I had not spoken to anybody but myself. And so I was just so, like, I loved looking people in their eyes. Like, I was like, oh, my gosh. I see why they say, like, the eyes is the whatever. Yeah. Because I was like, oh, my gosh. Your eyes don't ever age. Like, I can see you when I look at your eyes.

[Drew]

Whoa, that's scary because your eyeballs really don't. But low key, I feel like my eyeballs have aged. Like, I don't know something about the. The look of them recently. I'm like, don't do that face. Like, there's something. Every time I look in the mirror, I'm like, I see something. Like, something is withering here, but I just can't.

[Larry]

A darkness is brewing.

[E]

I did the darkness retreat after I came out of the darkness. He was like, the guy who was holding me through the entire experience was like, you want to go into the kiva? The Kiva is a 15 foot deep hole in the ground that they dug that has lens. I could have been murdered. I could have been killed.

[Drew]

Wait, what was.

[E]

It was a 15 foot hole that you ladder down into the ground that's covered in linseed oil and it smells like bleach down there. And there was, like a whole bunch of rugs and pillows and stuff. And he was like, here's the medicine that we should take on this practice. And it was a weed pen, and we both hit the weed pin and they closed the latch.

[Larry]

The stizzy bringing the most modern.

[Kai]

Bring a blinker.

[E]

Literally. We hit the Crayola pack, close the top. It goes completely dark. Like, the darkness retreat and he starts hitting sound sound bowls. I swear to God, y' all. I swear to God. May God shrug me down right now if I'm lying. I could see sound like, I could see, like, the vibrations and the patterns of sound because it was so dark.

[Larry]

Honestly, Yo, I believe that.

[Drew]

I know. I do believe it. But I want to do that. But damn, you're brave. I can't. I don't wanna.

[Larry]

Like, I'm gonna do it.

[E]

Yeah, it was so. It was.

[Kai]

Can you do it with people?

[E]

No, that would take away.

[Drew]

That would be fun.

[E]

But they were also telling me different, like, ancient practices, because it is ancient practice to do a darkness retreat. And they have this thing called the Vision quest that men in tribes usually do where you go into a field where you can't see any people, any life, and you draw a kilometer circle around you, and you stay in the circle, no water, no food, until you get a vision from God. So you just drive yourself to deliriousness this. Until God speaks to you and you can't tell if anybody, like, somebody's watching you, but you can't see.

[Larry]

That's our next retreat.

[Kai]

Yeah, I feel like that when I go to Erewhon every time.

[Drew]

The Vision quest.

[Kai]

Literally. Damn, bro. You're brave. As though.

[Larry]

Yeah.

[Drew]

I. I just, like, I don't also, I think I'm too lazy. Like, I feel that, like, what I would have to figure out, like, like.

[E]

But the whole time I could leave the room. Who are your favorite new generation content creator people?

[Larry]

World of T shirts.

[E]

Love him. I'm so sad for him.

[Larry]

I'm so sad. He was the one I was most sad for with the Tik Tok band world of T shirts.

[Kai]

Oh, I'm not familiar.

[Larry]

Do you know Daniel Larson? Yeah, love Daniel Larson.

[E]

You love, like, the cryptic. You love the Cryptids.

[Larry]

The Cryptids of the Internet.

[Drew]

She asked our new, like, well, who are your favorite new generation creators? And you're like, like Daniel Larson. Like, literally, they are our age and they've been on the Internet just as long.

[Larry]

They're not.

[E]

I can tell y' all who my favorite girl is.

[Larry]

Who is it?

[E]

Okay.

[Drew]

I was going to say this is one of my favorite people right now.

[E]

Oh, love K. Poyer.

[Larry]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Need her on the podcast. Genius. Literally genius. A great mind of our generation.

[E]

Let me see. Oh, is it a no, wait, there's also.

[Drew]

This girl is so funny.

[E]

Hilarious. The girl who did the small talk be like, have y' all seen Thicky?

[Drew]

Oh, yeah. Hi, bro. That is literally what it feels like. That's what small talk feels like. When I take a Vyvans and I don't expect to run into somebody and I'm like, in a store with a mission and they're talking to me, I'm like, yes. Where have you been?

[E]

Like, where have I been?

[Drew]

We need to go get our coffee. Me know.

[E]

You're so good. Larry is king of small talk. Larry can make a feel like that's his best friend in literally a minute and a half.

[Kai]

I'm a triple cancer.

[Drew]

Okay. That's such a good trait to have, though. I feel like I'm really jealous of that. I. I. But I feel like that's also just all of us are extroverted, and that's. No. Maybe something's wrong with all of us.

[Larry]

Yeah. No.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[E]

I think there's something deeply, deeply wrong with anybody who has the Internet. We're all just talk to a phone. Yeah, that's a camera.

[Larry]

We're disturbed. We're disturbed.

[E]

We're really disturbed. They would have gave us all lobotomies if we were in the 40s.

[Drew]

Honestly, I wish I could get, like, a. You know how there's baby Botox.

[Larry]

I want a baby lobotomy. I want a trial run.

[Drew]

Yeah. I just want one for, like, two days.

[E]

They have one.

[Drew]

What?

[E]

So I'm really staying on. And if you about it.

[Larry]

You really want that?

[Drew]

Actually, I'm not kidding. In, like, two years, I'll hit that. Like, I think. Yeah, I think it's like that. It sounds so nice. Like, what? My brain just is off.

[E]

Oh, that sounds nice. That was what the darkness retreat did to me. When I was quiet and I wasn't speaking, there was nothing going on in my head at all.

[Larry]

See, I need that. Like, my. My ultimate, ultimate, ultimate dream is to be in a coma for three months. Like, that put me to sleep for three months, and then, like, all. Like, all of my obligations just, like, dissolve away. Oh, Drew's gonna come.

[Drew]

Well, that's not gonna happen. You wake up, it's gonna be like, hey, Drew here.

[Larry]

Yeah, hey.

[Drew]

Just checking in. Hope you're doing good. Loving you. You have 18 things do. I don't know if y' all had this, but during the fires.

[E]

Can we talk about the fires?

[Drew]

Why are you texting me about a Instagram post? My everything I own is in my car.

[E]

Right?

[Larry]

I'm about to burn down.

[E]

To pause. Caused all of my work.

[Larry]

We did, too.

[E]

And they didn't.

[Drew]

No, they were like, we know you guys are busy, but, like, busy.

[E]

You're like, we're in the apocalypse.

[Drew]

I'm like, so I haven't been home in three days.

[Larry]

My house is literally on fire.

[E]

My panties were a hard crunch by the time the evacuation was over.

[Larry]

It does fall out.

[Drew]

It Was granola for the top of.

[Larry]

An acai water ew.

[E]

Discharge granola. Larry, would you eat?

[Kai]

Where am I?

[Larry]

Oh, my God. What is happening?

[E]

Oh, Larry. Everybody's, like, in la. Like, during the evacuations. Larry is in Hawaii.

[Larry]

Like, oh, yeah. Literally. I, like, I texted y' all, girl. I was like, are y' all safe? And he was like, yeah, I'm in Hawaii.

[E]

Before the world caught on fire. You already had that?

[Kai]

I had it planned. And I didn't do trips. I didn't do a trip.

[E]

Insurance. Larry already had a plan.

[Larry]

I know. I was going to say, did you do the fire?

[Drew]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kai]

Don't tell.

[Larry]

QAnon. QAnon.

[Kai]

See, I hate you. Niche. What are y' all talking about?

[E]

Republican conspiracy theory.

[Larry]

Yeah, it's like Texas. Yeah.

[Drew]

Oh, Candace Owens.

[E]

Christian Walker. Wait.

[Larry]

Oh, love. Love Christian Walker. Candace Owens. I met him. I saw him in public. I was on a date date, and I saw him walk by.

[Kai]

Wait.

[Larry]

Crazy. No, I wanted to so bad. I was so scared of him, though.

[Kai]

He's actually cunt here in real life.

[Larry]

Really?

[Kai]

I went up to him. He was like, hi, what's your name, babe? And literally stared at me with his. And I was like. He goes, nice to meet you.

[Larry]

Oh, my God, you have floated away. Also, Candace Owens. Speaking of Candace Owens.

[E]

Oh, my God.

[Drew]

Girl, why did you.

[Kai]

Just get up and leave?

[E]

Just.

[Larry]

In his own darkness, retreat. Oh, it's right here, right here, right here. But Candace Owens, speaking of, she took a video of me, of me frolicking around in a dress, uploaded it to her story and was like, this is why we need to bring back real men.

[Kai]

Did she lie?

[Larry]

She did not lie. Not even for a second. Not even for a.

[Drew]

Not even depending on. Yes.

[Larry]

Well, yes. And she put me, like, with the likes of, like, Harry Styles and, like, like, someone else. And I was like, wow, you think? I'm like.

[Kai]

Now she put you in the same category as you should. Did you watch the freaking documentary with Joe Rogan and what's his name, Instagram guy? Mark Zuckerberg.

[Larry]

Like that episode.

[Kai]

Yeah, the episode.

[Larry]

No, I want to kill him.

[Kai]

He's so scary. Yeah, he's actually so scared.

[Larry]

Genuine, robotic. He's evil. Like, genuine.

[Kai]

He's amphibian darkness.

[Drew]

Well, I feel like anybody who has.

[Larry]

Quinn is, like, scurrying around.

[Kai]

Wait, Ray, did she grab the suitcase? Oh, my God. Brb.

[Larry]

You guys all right? We're back from our little break.

[Drew]

I had to pee. Pee. I'm not gonna lie. I've had a. Yeah, they. Well, we Told them we were gonna go pee. Well, first Quinn walked away, then the ray walked away, and then I was like, okay, cool. We're all using the bathroom. I'm gonna go pee.

[Larry]

And they just left.

[Drew]

I think they left.

[Larry]

They just left the house. So now it's just us.

[Drew]

So it feels empty. I miss them. There's a warmth. It's so cold in here.

[Larry]

Now I think I'm gonna start drinking coffee.

[Drew]

Really?

[Larry]

Yeah. I'm gonna start macro dosing. Caffeine, that'd be good for you.

[Drew]

I think it would, like, elevate your senses.

[Larry]

It's a nootropic, you know.

[Drew]

Yeah. Is it really? I do consider, like, caffeine a drug, which I don't think that's what you just.

[Larry]

It is. It is.

[Drew]

Yeah, it is, right? Because I'm addicted.

[E]

It.

[Larry]

I mean, you literally are.

[Drew]

I. Yeah. I don't know. Guys, seriously.

[Larry]

Now they're running water.

[Drew]

Bro. I've had a really bad habit recently where I've been holding the. Out of my pee because I don't want to miss a moment because I'm just so, like, just. I'm so entranced in this beautiful miracle that is life.

[Larry]

Yeah. You have fun, Elmo. For every moment ever I do.

[Drew]

So I hold my pee until I'm about.

[E]

Oh.

[Larry]

Oh. Is that a quince dress?

[Drew]

Sabrina Carpenter. Hi.

[Larry]

Your cute little shoes are a little small.

[Drew]

Oh, my God.

[E]

Gravity.

[Drew]

Wait. I love this car.

[E]

Wait.

[Larry]

This is so important. This is so major.

[Kai]

The movie was so good. She's an incredible performer.

[Drew]

Feel about being in queer media. Are you guys still in character or are you excited for Wicked 2?

[E]

I feel like we were never in character.

[Kai]

I think this is just us. We finally figured out how to come together and make this.

[Drew]

Aw.

[Larry]

So you all have schizophrenia. What?

[Kai]

What's that?

[Drew]

Are you guys, like, how close? Like this? Or like this?

[Kai]

Tell her how close we are.

[E]

Tongue. Get ass.

[Kai]

Tongue and ass.

[Drew]

Tongue and ass.

[Kai]

Just guess whose idea this was.

[Larry]

Whose idea was this?

[Kai]

You know what's even crazier? This is her.

[Drew]

No.

[Kai]

You heard it.

[Larry]

No one hears it.

[Kai]

But wait, I didn't hear. Do it again. Yes. Don't ever do that again.

[E]

Wait. He gave me curd fingers.

[Drew]

There's, like, green on your lips every time you smile.

[Larry]

I like your smile.

[Kai]

Y' all want to gag?

[Larry]

Yeah.

[Kai]

This is Quinn's Halloween cost costume.

[E]

Wow.

[Larry]

Oh, wow. You have a back vagina. Tiny. Tiny.

[Drew]

I know. It's gorgeous. Wait, what was this? Was this going to be Glinda? What was.

[E]

Yeah, it's supposed to be Glinda.

[Kai]

I didn't get the wand.

[Drew]

I wish I could have brought Glenda. You know that gentle monster package they were giving out?

[E]

Yes.

[Drew]

I was like, I want the scepter. I want the scepter.

[E]

You got it.

[Drew]

Yes. And I got it today and I didn't bring it. But literally everything I love. Gentle monster. So good.

[Kai]

I can't breathe.

[Drew]

This was literally the my body. Oh. I was recording how dirty my car is. But listen to what I was listening to. Take a message back from me.

[Kai]

You manifested.

[Larry]

Gravity.

[Kai]

Take us there, sister. When Corona Grande was like, yes, sister. Mother Goose, stop touching me.

[Larry]

She literally is.

[Kai]

I didn't know it was a musical.

[Larry]

Oh, really?

[Kai]

I did it.

[Drew]

Have you seen it?

[Kai]

I did. I love y. I didn't know it was a musical. So when they started singing, I said, oh, yes.

[E]

I haven't seen the movie yet.

[Drew]

It's so fun.

[Larry]

Y' all would love it.

[Drew]

I'm not kidding.

[E]

Other side. You have a white flag. Flick is gone.

[Kai]

Pretty, pretty girl with white flick. You look pretty as green is your green. I know.

[Drew]

You actually do look good green.

[E]

Thank you.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[E]

My isn't your problem or your business period.

[Larry]

That part.

[Kai]

Wake up, America.

[Larry]

My it power. Yes.

[Drew]

Is that what I want?

[Kai]

I protect my.

[E]

My bites back.

[Drew]

My has.

[Kai]

I don't like gays who claw their. Their or their penises get pushed now. I don't like them. I actually don't care about them. But it's just like, boy, you got dick and bald.

[E]

Call it what it is going to stain my face.

[Kai]

No, you're good.

[Larry]

Yeah. What is the face paint, though?

[E]

It was just a face stick that I put on. You think it might stain?

[Drew]

I don't. Well, go like your lip. Cuz I'm curious if. No, no.

[Kai]

Like, you're good.

[Larry]

Oh, you're good. You're so good. Yeah.

[E]

Is there a hue?

[Drew]

Wait there.

[Larry]

Maybe. Maybe we take it off. Maybe. Yeah, maybe we take it off.

[Kai]

I kind of like this dress.

[Larry]

Yeah, That's Indel. You're Sn.

[Kai]

Have you tried AlphaB?

[Drew]

You're glad AlphaB.

[Larry]

I'm sorry.

[Drew]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

[E]

Wait, are we about to end Alphabet?

[Larry]

Yeah.

[E]

Yeah.

[Larry]

Let's.

[Kai]

Stop looking at me.

[Drew]

Girl.

[E]

Your dick is going to fall out.

[Larry]

Needy to putting on those ratchet goes.

[E]

You got me. What? I never seen it. Have you ever seen his dick?

[Drew]

No. You know what's crazy that you asked. This is crazy that I wrote this down. Actually, I think I literally was going to ask if y' all have seen each other naked.

[E]

Smell this whole face.

[Drew]

Oh.

[Larry]

It'S baby diarrhea.

[E]

It literally.

[Drew]

It smells like the tree.

[Larry]

Oh. Oh, it really does smell like the vagina trees. I have the vagina tree right outside of my window.

[E]

What's the vagina tree?

[Drew]

You know, the, like, will. Those that smell like.

[Larry]

I think they're like magnolia trees, but they smell like vagina. Oh, it's. No, it's so good. And that came off.

[Drew]

And you have such good skin.

[Larry]

Good. Yeah. Gorgeous. But she's melting.

[Drew]

Stop burping. Sorry.

[E]

Master misses.

[Drew]

You. Ariana and Cynthia have a weird vibe.

[Larry]

Yeah, y' all. No. Oh, I mean, yeah.

[Drew]

Yeah, we.

[Larry]

We know that.

[E]

We. She. No, I don't. Girl, don't try to make me in this masculine life.

[Kai]

Remember her mask era, y' all?

[Larry]

Yeah, I do.

[Kai]

Yes, young Ma era.

[Drew]

I want to see.

[Larry]

Oh, Quinn had a mask, you know.

[E]

You know, did I actually have a mask?

[Drew]

No, you didn't.

[Larry]

No, you didn't.

[Kai]

You didn't, period. He gagged me.

[Larry]

Gag it. Gag it.

[E]

He.

[Kai]

I talk about it.

[Drew]

I'm trying to think of, like, the craziest. Honestly, Like, I would. No, I was, like, about to say something that I like.

[E]

I'm like, come on, say.

[Kai]

I think I've told too much on this.

[E]

I can say something. Who wants to do secret time?

[Kai]

Yes. Clock them again, sir. Let them know.

[Drew]

And they think. They.

[E]

They think. They think. They talk about Kendrick.

[Drew]

They think.

[E]

They think.

[Drew]

I literally can't wait for all of us to be, like, in an old person crazy online. Like, I literally. I can't. Can't. People who make fun of Tokyo Tony. I lit. I see. I see.

[E]

Tokyo Tony is everything.

[Drew]

Like, all of the, like, older women who are online and people like to make fun of Fish. Fish. All of the older women who people make fun of. Like, I can't even lie. I'm like, yeah. I literally see her logic.

[E]

Like, Tokyo Tony makes sense.

[Kai]

I love her.

[Drew]

Like, I see your logic. You're just brave.

[E]

See, that's the thing with, like, a Tokyo Tony or, like, these. That is crashing out. It's like they funny, like, on the Internet, but then people's like, you should collab with them. I'm like, that energy. I don't want to be in the same room. Tokyo Tony can make me crumble. If she looked at me with the mic, I was like, I would turn to ash. I would literally just turn to ash.

[Kai]

I'm gonna watch the compilation when I get home.

[Drew]

No, but that. I fear that's gonna be Us. That's why I'm saying that.

[Kai]

I can't wait to feel Tony. That's gonna be you for sure. I'm not.

[Drew]

I will be on IG Live.

[Kai]

I'm gonna be cruising. Me and Drew are gonna be cruising.

[Larry]

Yeah. That's crazy. That's crazy.

[E]

Porn is when gay put their dicks under a bathroom stall and, like, jack off. But not. I was talking about.

[Larry]

I know. Why do you know that?

[Kai]

Like, look at her.

[Larry]

She's like, you're locked in. You're, like, locked in.

[Kai]

Talking about, like. Like a cruise.

[Larry]

That's your secret.

[E]

My secret is I know what cruising is always. Maybe I had dick envy.

[Drew]

There have been times where I'm watching. I'm like, okay, like, I want to be the. Literally no fair.

[E]

Right? Right. I want to do the penetrating.

[Larry]

Y' all literally can't. Oh, you want to do the penetrating? Yeah.

[E]

No.

[Drew]

Wait, Y' all. Video of y' all screaming about lar being like, maybe we could work at emergency intercom. And you're like, no, please.

[E]

The kids were funny.

[Kai]

That was so real.

[Larry]

It was real.

[E]

I literally called Larry. I said, I'm about to crash out. I'm about to crash out. I'm about to crash out. Join live. Join live. Join live. Jo life.

[Larry]

That was so funny.

[Drew]

The thing is, Tik Tok genuinely could have died, and I don't think getting rid of Larry.

[E]

Larry. Yo, I. This is Larry's secret. Larry. I never seen somebody so happy.

[Drew]

You guys are nasty.

[E]

I've never done the biting stuff during sex.

[Drew]

Have you?

[Larry]

No.

[E]

You say, Larry's like, give it to me. I'm like, that's your joke. You're like.

[Kai]

Because, you know, have you ever seen, like, nasty? Okay, Straight girls and porn would be like.

[E]

But that's what you. I know you're one of those girls during sex.

[Drew]

Oh, my God. I am not.

[Kai]

Oh, maybe I am.

[Larry]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[E]

This is me during sex.

[Drew]

I'm still trying to think of a secret. Girl.

[Larry]

Girl, we're over, though.

[Kai]

Girl, you're late.

[E]

Have you ever had sex with one of your friends and then y' all are friends, and then y' all don't date? And it's just like, that was crazy. No, see, maybe it's a girl thing.

[Drew]

Yeah, I've done it. I have only done it with, like, two people. Like, done that with two people because I'm, like, overly attached. Cuz if I like someone, like, yeah.

[E]

I get a yeah.

[Drew]

I'm like, what if we get married? And then two years, I'm Like, I want to get. Actually.

[Larry]

Never mind.

[E]

Smith and Lucky Blue AI guy. You talk.

[Kai]

No, I kind of get the hype.

[Larry]

I love.

[Kai]

I want chi cheese. I like it. I like. Okay, I guess that's it.

[Larry]

Wait, let's do a media, and then we can tap out whatever y' all want to do. Just music, Pilates.

[Drew]

We all going to go to Pilates after. Oh, I'm sorry.

[E]

I did not.

[Larry]

I did. Damn it.

[Drew]

I want you to go to Pilates in this.

[Kai]

I would.

[E]

Is it aloe Hot? Ate yoga.

[Drew]

Oh.

[Larry]

Oh.

[Drew]

I used to love going there. I. I'm not good at yoga and stuff anymore. I almost fainted last time I went, and I'm scared.

[E]

A lot of the girls been fainting during the workout. It's like, girl, stop trying to Alexis Wren. Just do it for the health.

[Drew]

I know. No, I. I just. I almost knocked out because I literally just couldn't, like, I was. I. I had it worked out.

[Larry]

I literally.

[Drew]

We had it worked out in, like, a year. We went to this new gym.

[E]

Gym.

[Drew]

And you're like, it. Let's do it. And I hadn't moved that much in so long. And it was hot yoga, and I was standing at one point. I went to bed. Down I went. I literally just, like, went to the floor because I was like. And I had to leave early.

[Larry]

Slippery. I hate it.

[E]

It's slippery and hot.

[Kai]

It is hot. It's like hot yoga.

[E]

Like when you do your gay orgies.

[Kai]

Yes. Or when you just.

[Drew]

Can I watch?

[Kai]

Oh, yeah, of course. We should have one.

[Larry]

Yeah, let's do it.

[Kai]

We should do a party.

[E]

I'm down for group six. Kai, I would love to join.

[Kai]

Okay. Beautiful. This would be fun. I can wear this.

[Larry]

I would love to wear that. No, no, no.

[Drew]

Tell me to do.

[Larry]

I'll literally do whatever you guys.

[Kai]

You're so sweet, submissive.

[Drew]

You're so sweet.

[Larry]

You're so cute.

[E]

No. There he goes. You're so sweet, submissive.

[Kai]

I got your gun, Dom.

[E]

Or some girl.

[Kai]

Let's end it.

[Larry]

Yeah. Okay.

[E]

She does this all day on my top or bottom.

[Drew]

I think we're, like, doing this and we're just talking. I'm like, oh, we, like, need to shut up.

[Larry]

Yeah. Okay. We'll do media. We'll do media.

[Kai]

What's media?

[Larry]

Just, like, name a song you like in a movie you like any ever.

[Kai]

Okay. Song I like right now is White Ferrari by Frank Ocean. And my favorite movie right now is Blinking Twice.

[Drew]

Wait, have I seen that?

[Larry]

Zoe, I've just seen it.

[E]

Are you checking Letterboxd?

[Larry]

Yeah, my lip.

[Drew]

I was gonna look it up on.

[Kai]

Wait. I wish I could read you my letterbox review reviews. They're so good.

[Drew]

What's your at?

[Kai]

I don't know it, but I'm not gonna say it. You didn't do your. You wanted to read him your things that David sent you. Oh, we got some.

[E]

Can't give you my phone.

[Drew]

Trey.

[E]

Can't give you my phone. It's on the floor next to the.

[Kai]

We got something for you.

[E]

You want me to read them all?

[Kai]

Yeah, read them all. I can.

[Drew]

No.

[Kai]

Yeah, you can read them all. Like, I don't like reading. I'm dyslexic.

[Larry]

I'm so bad at reading out loud.

[Kai]

Hey, girl.

[E]

Okay.

[Larry]

The glass crunching.

[E]

Okay. Are you ready? Ugly bitches be like, my man gotta be six too. You make me sick to my stomach.

[Larry]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kai]

Have you seen that one already?

[Larry]

Yeah.

[E]

Ah. Okay. Tell me when this one you haven't seen chicks be chicks with that little light mustache be cool as, like, you know what? Un. You all right with me.

[Larry]

I haven't seen that one. That one's good. You know what? Unk.

[Kai]

Oh, that's a good one.

[E]

I sex outside is fun until a mosquito help her suck your dick.

[Drew]

That is awesome.

[E]

I got five more.

[Larry]

Hell, yeah.

[Drew]

This looks so good.

[E]

Stop asking my broke ass for money. I said, I'm chasing the bag. I ain't caught that yet.

[Drew]

Send that to me. I'm going to send that to my.

[E]

Family next time they ask for money.

[Larry]

Listen to you.

[E]

Okay. The crunch of the glass shard.

[Drew]

I know. Also like Lorraine.

[Larry]

With the cables. It's really cooked in here.

[E]

Okay. White people be so extra. They be like, is that you, Tom? Well, shove a stick up my ass and call me a corn dog. Okay, two more. Two more. This is my favorite one. Oh, my God.

[Kai]

Wait. I got too excited.

[Larry]

I started stimming.

[E]

When the dick good, you can wait. When the dick good, you can get her to do anything. Go fry me some cereal.

[Drew]

That's. So I was just talking last night about how I wish I was a royal like in the 1800 or like 1600s so I could just be bored as be like, I want to eat snake today. Don't get me a snake.

[Larry]

I want to fly. Make me fly.

[Drew]

That's.

[Kai]

I want to fly.

[Drew]

I'm saying, like, I would just say, like, that they have to do it like, what, you're going to be beheaded in square. Like, I want a car. What's a car? Figure it out.

[Larry]

Make me a Wheel.

[E]

Make me fly. Make me fly. When you said that, imagine you would like the puff.

[Larry]

Just getting thrown over the edge makes me fly.

[Kai]

Yes.

[Drew]

Right.

[Larry]

All right.

[Drew]

Wait, is there one more?

[E]

Oh, yeah.

[Drew]

I was having fun. I like.

[Larry]

I know. I want more.

[E]

Okay.

[Drew]

I want more.

[Larry]

Give me more. More.

[E]

Now stop saying you dating a thug just because your man smoke weed and steal from Walmart.

[Drew]

Oh, my God. Wow.

[Larry]

That was amazing. I think that's a great way to end the episode. Yeah. Yeah.

[Drew]

Well.

[Larry]

Yeah. My song Flow by Philip Glass movie. I don't. I haven't watched a new movie in a very long time. Fantastic. Planet Nosferatu.

[Kai]

Perfect.

[Drew]

My movie is wicked. Guys, please go see these stars on screen.

[Larry]

They're beautiful performances.

[E]

Amazing.

[Drew]

Thank you guys so much for giving us the time. Love you so much. So excited.

[E]

Thank you. Thank you, guys.

[Drew]

You smell so good. Like, both of you smell so good.

[E]

Thank you.

[Drew]

Also, that's how I knew they were here, because I came into the apartment and I smelt something good. And I unironically. Because I had music playing on my phone because I thought you guys weren't here yet. And then I smelled something good and I turned off the music because I.

[Larry]

Was like, they're here.

[Drew]

It smells good in here. That's not. That's not.

[Larry]

That could have been me.

[Drew]

No, no.

[Larry]

Okay.

[E]

You usually smell like a bestos.

[Larry]

It's my chair.

[E]

Oh, yeah.

[Larry]

It's my asbestos chair.

[Drew]

I almost said something so nasty. Okay. Thank you guys for watching. Thank you guys, actually, so much for being on. That was so fun.

[Larry]

Long time coming.

[Kai]

Thank you for having us. This is the best podcast I've ever done in my life.

[Larry]

It was a movie.

[E]

Thank you guys for having us. I'm so happy to know y' all to this point. I hope we know each other for so many more.

[Larry]

10 more years.

[Drew]

Oh, we're gonna. We're gonna be all old and crazy.

[E]

1. Four more years.

[Larry]

4 more years. Let's go, Brandon. Let's go, Brandon.

[Drew]

Wait, is that the Costco? The boom? Is that what you're doing?

[Larry]

Boom, boom, boom, boom.

[E]

What?

[Drew]

That guy who was like. And four. Four booms for his dead brother.

[Larry]

Oh, your brother died. Four big booms for his brother.

[Drew]

I thought. When I thought you got that done.

[Larry]

I know it looked like a.

[E]

Do y' all remember alt talk?

[Larry]

Yes.

[Drew]

I feel like I sadly, like, was I there?

[Larry]

Are you visiting the tree? Are you gonna be to the tree? Is that all talking? No, that's deep.

[Ryan Seacrest]

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