Men Shouldn't Have Instagram Because They Are Probably Using It To Cheat On Their Partner

Summary

Emergency Intercom: Episode Summary Title: Men Shouldn't Have Instagram Because They Are Probably Using It To Cheat On Their Partner
Host/Authors: Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips
Release Date: April 8, 2022

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1. Introduction and Personal Updates (00:00 – 01:30)

The episode kicks off with Drew showcasing his eight-year-old Apple Watch, leading to playful banter between him and Enya about outdated technology.

• Drew (00:37): "Have you all ever seen one of these? Have you ever used one of these?"
• Enya (00:45): "Literally? Almost everybody's parent has one."

This lighthearted exchange sets the tone for the episode, highlighting their comfortable and humorous dynamic.

2. Misadventures: Devin's Drinks and Sunburn (04:03 – 05:20)

Enya and Drew recount their visit to Devin's house, where they admit to "stealing" Devin's drinks. This segment blends humor with candid admissions about their insecurities.

• Drew (04:26): "Devin, if you hear this, I'm so sorry for stealing all your drinks."
• Enya (04:30): "Both of us immediately named, like, three things we were insecure about."

Drew also shares his experience of getting severely sunburned despite high UV warnings, emphasizing his stubbornness.

• Drew (03:16): "Drew is burnt as balls. I literally did not mean to get sunburned."

3. Energy Drinks and Caffeine Challenges (04:43 – 06:00)

The hosts delve into their relationship with energy drinks, particularly focusing on the excessively sweet flavors and the negative impact of caffeine.

• Enya (04:43): "Energy drinks. Just, like. Unless it's Red Bull, they don't taste very good because all of them are trying to be too sweet."

Drew humorously suggests a non-caffeinated Red Bull to address his caffeine sensitivity.

• Drew (05:10): "Exactly. Without the caffeine, I would be able to drink it."

4. Tech Talk: AirPods and Headphones (06:38 – 08:36)

Enya and Drew discuss their preferences for headphones, leading to a playful argument about the merits of AirPods.

• Drew (07:56): "They're the AirPods Maxes."
• Enya (07:25): "I don't believe in wireless headphones, so that's. Okay."

Their conversation highlights differing tastes and the humorous tension that arises from such trivial disagreements.

5. Ghost Hunting Adventures (08:36 – 12:18)

The duo shares an experience revisiting a theater to communicate with spirits, only to find that their presence deterred any supernatural activity.

• Enya (08:47): "Because we brought a friend to look and as a witness."
• Drew (09:01): "We'll have to do another, like, midnight viewing."

This segment blends their comedic take with moments of genuine intrigue about the paranormal.

6. Movie Mania: "Everything Everywhere All at Once" (12:04 – 15:03)

Enya and Drew passionately discuss their admiration for the film "Everything Everywhere All at Once," praising its revolutionary storytelling and emotional depth.

• Drew (09:10): "Cinema will forever be changed. It'll never be the same."
• Enya (09:23): "I found myself like laughing... I can't believe someone just made this."

Their enthusiastic conversation underscores the film's impact and their deep appreciation for its creativity.

7. Sober Life and Social Media Struggles (15:03 – 23:30)

Addressing their sobriety journey, Enya and Drew talk about attending parties without alcohol. They describe the challenges of navigating social interactions while maintaining their commitment to sobriety.

• Drew (17:36): "We've been going to parties... we don't drink. We don't pre-game."
• Enya (18:25): "You're gonna pass away soon."

Their discussion reveals the complexities of balancing fame, social life, and personal well-being.

8. Personal Quirks: Nail Biting and Dermatophagia (34:00 – 43:50)

A heartfelt segment where Enya and Drew open up about their struggles with nail biting and skin picking, known as dermatophagia. They share personal stories and coping mechanisms, fostering a sense of vulnerability and relatability.

• Drew (40:23): "It's called dermatophagia. It's a body-focused, repetitive behavior."
• Enya (41:43): "I have to always put makeup on because if I didn't, I would pick up my face."

Their honest conversation highlights the challenges of dealing with anxiety-related behaviors and the steps they've taken to overcome them.

9. Relationship Dynamics: Instagram and Cheating (43:43 – 45:00)

Tying into the episode's main title, Enya and Drew argue that having Instagram is tantamount to cheating. They believe that men use the platform to engage in flirtatious behavior outside their relationships.

• Drew (43:49): "Yes. Yeah. Like, without a doubt, if you have Instagram, you're cheating on your significant other."
• Enya (44:03): "Who do you want to be seen by so badly?"

Their banter captures the exaggerated yet humorous take on social media's impact on relationships, aligning with the comedic essence of the podcast.

10. Media Recommendations (52:00 – 53:56)

Enya and Drew share their favorite media from the week, including books, songs, and movies, offering listeners tailored recommendations.

• Drew (52:05): "Appalachian Fiction by Christian Camaro, Amaro Camaro, Pluto by Bjork."
• Enya (53:08): "Everything Everywhere all at once is my movie of the week."

This segment provides a personal touch, allowing the hosts to connect with listeners over shared interests.

11. Final Remarks and Closing (53:56 – 55:11)

The episode concludes with Enya humorously wishing listeners a bad night, followed by Drew clarifying it was a joke. Their playful exchange leaves listeners with a lingering sense of camaraderie and humor.

• Enya (54:38): "I hope you have an awful night and something bad happens."
• Drew (54:47): "No, jk."

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Key Takeaways:

• Humorous Banter: Enya and Drew maintain a comedic and lighthearted tone throughout, making personal and sometimes serious topics approachable and entertaining.

• Authentic Conversations: The hosts share personal stories and vulnerabilities, fostering a genuine connection with the audience.

• Relatable Content: From struggles with anxiety behaviors to navigating sobriety in social settings, the podcast touches on universally relatable themes.

• Engaging Dynamics: The interplay between Enya, Drew, and occasional interjections from Kai adds depth and variety to the conversation.

Notable Quotes:

• Drew (09:01): "Cinema will forever be changed. It'll never be the same."

• Enya (40:23): "I have to always put makeup on because if I didn't, I would pick up my face."

This episode of Emergency Intercom effectively blends humor with heartfelt discussions, offering listeners an engaging and memorable experience. Whether tackling personal quirks or societal observations, Enya and Drew deliver content that is both entertaining and meaningful.

Transcript

[Drew]

Foreign.

[Enya]

Welcome to this episode of Emergency Intercom.

[Drew]

I was gonna say welcome to this emergency episode of Come. Welcome to this emergency episode of Come. Oh, something's different about my wrist.

[Enya]

Drew's wearing his 8 year old iWatch or Apple watch.

[Drew]

Apple watch. Have you all ever seen one of these? Have you ever used one of these?

[Enya]

Literally? Almost everybody's parent has one.

[Drew]

The background is my hairy arm, so it looks like it's blending in with my skin.

[Enya]

Yeah. And also the band is really white, so it is blending really well.

[Drew]

Why are you jealous of me in everything I do? I try to give to you so much.

[Enya]

What do you give me?

[Drew]

My love and affection.

[Enya]

You are singing that so crazy. Wait. Because you're singing it so crazy. I know it's a song, and I can't think of it. Is that a Rihanna song? I actually don't know what you're saying.

[Drew]

I think it's Rihanna.

[Enya]

Oh, it's love song by Future and Rihanna.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Enya]

Okay, I have something to start the episode with.

[Drew]

Okay.

[Enya]

It's a little anthem next time you're at school. Rebel.

[Drew]

Yes.

[Enya]

Wait, you one of the kids who, like, refused to stand for the Pledge of Allegiance?

[Drew]

No, I was.

[Enya]

I was so annoying. I was like, I'm not standing. I'm literally not standing for the flag.

[Drew]

We would get in so much trouble if we didn't pledge allegiance to the Texas flag.

[Enya]

Really? We didn't even have the Florida flag. It was just the flag. And I was like, why are we still doing this?

[Drew]

It's such a weird, like, propaganda thing that Texas does because they're like, we're gonna succeed. From the nation. They're always threatening. I'm like, please go.

[Enya]

Imagine needing your passport to go to Texas.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Enya]

Is that how that would work?

[Drew]

I actually don't know. Like, I don't think anybody knows. And that's why it would never happen.

[Enya]

Nobody's actually committed to it. Okay.

[Drew]

Committed to the sleigh.

[Enya]

Put your right hand. Is it right or left?

[Drew]

It's right hand.

[Enya]

This is my. Oh, right hand. Over your boob.

[Drew]

Over your heart.

[Enya]

Okay. Oh, sleigh, can you serve by the boots? Early wig.

[Drew]

What?

[Enya]

So proudly weeper by the Twilight's last giving. I was trying to think of more.

[Drew]

But that's why that's the Twilight's last giving is giving.

[Enya]

Who's broad shoulders and slay.

[Drew]

Wait, who.

[Enya]

Who was Salem? She was like, y' all need to calm down in the comments, please. Because someone was like, oh, my God, I have broad shoulders too.

[Drew]

Broad shoulders, gang.

[Enya]

Yeah. She Was like, I've never said that about myself. Like, oh, my God. So that's our national anthem. That's. Emergency intercom. National anthem.

[Drew]

Oh, slay. Can you say also, Drew is burnt as balls. I literally did not mean to get sunburned. I was like, the UV index is 8.5, which is, like, very high, but I was like, oh, I'm not gonna get burnt. Like, there's no way I get burnt. My stubborn ass. And I am literally charred to a. Chris.

[Enya]

Yeah. You are really red. Your. Your right arm is definitely going to peel. Like.

[Drew]

Yeah, no, it's already peeling. Like, it's already. Yeah, it's already going, but it doesn't hurt yet, but.

[Enya]

Oh, it'll hurt tomorrow.

[Drew]

It definitely. Like, I like touching it because you see, like, the fingerprints in it.

[Enya]

It's like the. The little thermal toy that we used to have as kids.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Enya]

Oh, my God. Yeah. Your right side of your body is burnt. The right side of my body still smells like you. We both said something completely different, but, yeah, it's because we went to Devin's house today.

[Drew]

Oh, yeah. Have y' all ever heard of her? Ms. Devin Lee Carlson? Yeah, that's.

[Enya]

Wait, have y' all been to her house? Oh, probably not.

[Drew]

Y' all definitely have not been to her house.

[Enya]

Probably not.

[Drew]

We go, and we have a key. We hang out.

[Enya]

We go, we open the fridge, we grab.

[Drew]

Devin, if you hear this, I'm so sorry for stealing all your drinks. I got into the car immediately and was like, I took a lot of drinks.

[Enya]

I know. Both of us immediately named, like, three things we were insecure about.

[Drew]

I was like, I should not have done that. But I drank every single drop except for the ani.

[Enya]

Alani.

[Drew]

Yeah, that. No, the energy drink. Yeah, that was. Did so sweet.

[Enya]

Energy drinks. Just, like. Unless it's Red Bull, they don't taste very good because all of them are trying to be too sweet. They're trying to be something that they're not. And it's like, no, this isn't juice. This is acid. That's going to burn my liver.

[Drew]

Yep.

[Enya]

And do what you're supposed to do.

[Drew]

And burn my inside and give me energy. So, like, I don't even really care about the flavor, but give me heart palpitation. Red Bull. Red Bull. I have a genius idea for you. Non caffeinated Red Bull.

[Enya]

The flavor can unspike.

[Drew]

Exactly. Without the caffeine, I would be able to drink it.

[Enya]

Drew can't have caffeine anymore.

[Drew]

Yeah. So figure that out.

[Enya]

You can't Have a lot of things you need to see. Go see, like, a psychologist and get your brain, like. Like, he's convinced he can't have red onions. Like, he's convinced. Like, no, he has stomach issues because he doesn't have, like, a real meal.

[Drew]

Like, you're just. Gummies are a real meal.

[Enya]

Oh, you know what I did with the gummies we had?

[Drew]

You did not.

[Enya]

No, I didn't throw them away.

[Drew]

Okay. What'd you do?

[Enya]

I put them in the freezer.

[Drew]

Oh, yeah.

[Enya]

But Drew's convinced. He'll be like, oh, this. This is bad for me. This is bad for me. I'm like, no, girl. Like, you just don't eat. So every time you eat, your stomach is like, what is happening? Or you don't eat, like, real meals. You, like, scavenge around the house.

[Drew]

You.

[Enya]

You eat, like, crackers, cheese, and meats that you find. Then you have gummies. Then you have, like, something red to throw in the mix.

[Drew]

Yeah, I'm going to go. I think I'm going to try to eat blue for the next week because I did red or maybe orange because I feel like it's a little. Yellow is really easy. I could easily eat yellow for a week. Maybe That's a little YouTube series. Eating yellow for a week.

[Enya]

Yeah, that's like Mr. Beast. That's like Mr. Beast Challenge.

[Drew]

Mr. Beast Challenge. Well, I have a little surprise. What, for everybody?

[Enya]

Me included or do I?

[Drew]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, you're included for literally everybody. Kai, are you ready? Yes.

[Enya]

Oh, my God. He got a purse.

[Drew]

Oh, damn.

[Enya]

That didn't sound good.

[Drew]

Yeah. Wait, do y' all still use AirPods or.

[Enya]

I actually have rarely been an AirPod.

[Drew]

I'm confused because I actually don't even know what that is anymore because I have.

[Enya]

Wait, those are AirPods? Like, you do know what they are.

[Drew]

They're Maxes, because the ones that go over your ears, not inside your ears.

[Enya]

I have plenty of headphones that go.

[Drew]

Over my ears, but These are the AirPods Maxes.

[Enya]

Oh. But I don't believe in wireless headphones, so that's. Okay.

[Drew]

Okay. You sound mad. Everybody watching sounds pissed too, but. Yeah, just. Just. Why do you still have AirPods? I don't get it.

[Enya]

I. I just said I. I don't use AirPods. And you have AirPods on your phone.

[Drew]

I'm saying to them, oh, okay. Yeah, it's because it's kind of just like. Like, these are superior.

[Enya]

Are you poverty shaming right now?

[Drew]

Yes. Get your money up. Get your bed up. Get you a pair of these, Let me tell you.

[Enya]

We were literally laughing at you because he had the audacity to be like, oh, my God. Wait, now when I travel and go on planes, people are going to be like, oh, my God, this guy has money. And we're going to be like, no, because you're going to be sitting in economy with everyone else.

[Drew]

Why did you spend the money you spent on these?

[Enya]

On the ticket allocated your funds, like, more intelligently? Because you're literally.

[Drew]

Maybe, Maybe your seat can't go back.

[Enya]

Right now like the rest of us.

[Drew]

Yeah, maybe that's right. But I'm happy. I'm happy and that's all that matters. And they have the.

[Enya]

You are not happy, girl.

[Drew]

I know, I know. It's really bad. The demons are winning. The demons are literally winning.

[Enya]

You said they have the clairvoyant.

[Drew]

Yeah, they have the clairvoyance mode.

[Enya]

What? What the fuck does that mean? That the word you just made up?

[Drew]

I can hear ghosts. What?

[Enya]

Okay, also an update on the ghost story. We revisited the theater yesterday, but I think because we were with Jester, the spirit didn't come to us.

[Drew]

They didn't want to show face. They weren't serving face.

[Enya]

Yeah, because I think they just got nervous because we brought a friend to look and as a witness. And, yeah, they got nervous and too many people were around. We went too early. We have to do another, like, midnight viewing.

[Drew]

Yeah, I do think a dolo. Midnight viewing. Maybe we go see everything everywhere all at once again. Because that was the best movie I've ever seen in my entire life.

[Enya]

Genuinely, like, so not exaggerating. I can't. I just can't believe when I see shit like. Like that, I'm like, no, you had to have been on meth when you wrote that. Like, there's no other way. Like, I just.

[Drew]

Without spoiling anything, because it is a movie that if you go into it completely blind, it is so insane. Insane. Like, it. I. I don't know how you conceptualize that. I don't know how, like, you film that. I don't know how you go back to watching regular movies after watching that. Because, like, it was so revolutionary that, like, it was revoir revolutionary. So, like, cinema will forever be changed. It'll forever never be the same.

[Enya]

Forever never be the same. Okay. Yeah, I. I honestly, like, I don't even have, like, a good take on it because it just actually left me speechless, like, so many times. Like, my mouth is just wide open watching. And I, like, couldn't believe it. And I found myself like laughing. Not even at the funny parts, but just laughing because I'm like, I can't believe someone just made this. Like someone literally had all these thoughts, somehow translated it onto paper and then onto video image and it's like translating well, real. Especially because I bet a lot of those jokes, like, I feel like would read like, not that funny and then on screen are really funny.

[Drew]

Yeah, there were like points in the movie where like me and Enya would just like look at each other and be like, are you freaking kidding me? Like, like there. You actually like, were able to do that. Like, I. I don't know. It was like, really, really sick.

[Enya]

But yeah, sorry. Kai's literally scaring me because he was just holding his phone in front of the camera, but not in the viewfinder.

[Kai]

I was using the reflection to see if it was recording. I wanted to see if there's a way for me to like make sure that the camera.

[Enya]

You're literally bored as shit right there. You're so bored and you're not listening to us anymore. But yeah, I was so insane.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Enya]

And it destroyed my life. And I came home and was gonna watch another movie, but I was like, I don't think my brain could handle any more content.

[Drew]

Yeah, it does make it make you question your reality. That's all I'll say. Which and is like, in a good way. And I think it, like will humanize a lot of people that needed human.

[Enya]

It was a sweet movie. I was like, oh, this is just like sweet. I cried, I cried, I laughed. I lived and I loved.

[Kai]

Was there sex in it actually?

[Enya]

So much.

[Drew]

There was a lot of whole, like spread hole. Yeah, you. There was like a point where the camera. Someone spread their ass cheeks and the camera literally went inside someone's and they like. It was basically like a colonoscopy scene and you kind of just.

[Enya]

Which I don't think that was a 3D render. I think they.

[Drew]

No, it was practical. It was practical. And you lived in there for two weeks in the movie. It was weird.

[Enya]

It was like a. A big time lapse because obviously if it was like two weeks, we wouldn't be here.

[Drew]

Yeah. Literally. So weird. I actually couldn't believe that they went there.

[Enya]

I can't believe they took it there.

[Kai]

I didn't want to see it, but now I want to see it.

[Drew]

So go watch it.

[Enya]

Because of the colonoscopy, like scene.

[Drew]

Yeah, dude. Oh, my God. And we saw it in 4D, so they were spraying everywhere. It was crazy. It was crazy lit. Well, last time I had sex. I was thinking about Elden Ring. And that's not a joke. Like, I literally, like, was having sex and I was like, this shit's, like, boring. Like, like, come on, let's get it over.

[Enya]

No, literally, if I'm ever having sex again and I start thinking about other things, I'm like, all right, get out.

[Drew]

Yeah, like, it's time for you to go. You to go. But, yeah, I was thinking about Elden. Elden Ring. I keep saying elder ring. Elder. Elder ring. But, yeah, it was really tragic.

[Enya]

Well, what if the person literally hears this and, like, sees you say that you don't think about.

[Drew]

I was about to say it ended up being a really fun time and we had a bunch of chemistry, but.

[Enya]

You were thinking about playing a PC game.

[Drew]

I think it was just because it was in the peak of it. It was like in the peak of my cuz this was like, a while back.

[Enya]

Yeah. Oh, so you're in your dry season.

[Drew]

Yeah, like, nobody wants you. Darn celibate. No, I. I could literally have sex every night if I wanted to. Three times a day. And I'm not joking. I lit. Thank you, guy.

[Enya]

Why are you so, like, sure of that? You're so admin of that.

[Drew]

You know what happened to me is I took off my glasses, I got my Lasik eye surgery, I took down my pony, I let my ponytail free, and I got sexy.

[Enya]

You took.

[Drew]

And I walked down the stairs in slow mode. I literally, like, you had a Princess Diaries moment. Yeah, but I need to cut my hair and shave all my.

[Enya]

Oh, I have to show y' all the saddest, ugliest pictures of the back of Drew's head.

[Drew]

No, I haven't even seen them yet. I haven't even seen them yet.

[Enya]

It was so nasty.

[Drew]

Oh, my.

[Enya]

Oh.

[Drew]

What the. It literally looks like I, like, have Justin Bieber dreads. It looks like I haven't. It looks like I haven't showered in literally 14 years.

[Kai]

My hair is mad of Russell Brand's head.

[Drew]

My hair is matted. I look like one of those. Let me see, let me see. I look like one of those mangy, stinky.

[Enya]

Do look at the lives.

[Drew]

Why am I actually serving, though? Like, low key?

[Enya]

You're serving like, extreme stench. Extreme body odor.

[Drew]

Like, wait, hold on. Let me see the live again. When I turn around, I look good, actually. You know what I'm saying? The Kraken rising. Like, I literally look like a killer live video.

[Enya]

Looks like Devin went inside for a second. I like, was like someone's out here.

[Drew]

I rose out of the water. Sorry.

[Enya]

He rose from the depths of the song.

[Drew]

These are, like, really comfortable. I just, like, even forgot I had them on for a second.

[Enya]

That's weird, because you just, like, really messed with them, and it seemed like they were bothering you.

[Drew]

Oh, fuck off.

[Enya]

Are you being paid? Is this, like, paid? Like, why do you have them on?

[Kai]

Do you have advanced hearing on right now?

[Drew]

The clairvoyance mode? Yeah. I can hear everything.

[Kai]

Really?

[Drew]

I can hear y' all. I can hear the ghosts. I can hear the spirits.

[Enya]

There's no ghost.

[Drew]

A girl. If only you could hear what I hear.

[Enya]

Then give them to me.

[Drew]

No, you don't want to hear.

[Kai]

Can you hear that little fart that I just made?

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

You heard that?

[Drew]

No, I didn't. I heard, like, something, but I thought it was a ghost or, like, a screaming child, but I. It was a fart.

[Enya]

You thought the fart was a screaming child?

[Drew]

Yeah, it was weird. Weird as. I think we should talk about how we're sober, but not really sober.

[Enya]

No, I think, like, crazy. This looks with the skulls, right?

[Drew]

I know. I literally, like, I take notes for the podcast throughout the week, and I write them down in notes, and, like, I just write them down like I'm texting myself from the past. It's really awesome. And then I get to read them in the future, and I'm like, oh, I know what I was saying there, like, this. Go, dude.

[Enya]

My heart actually just dropped because I got a text from a friend who's, like, coming to LA to visit, and they texted me and said, something. Something is on fire right now. And they said, turbulence, But I read it as engine, because I was just skimming, and I was like, oh, my God, this person's gonna literally die. And my heart actually just dropped. And I just had to say that because I feel like my face actually changed. And I just wanted everyone to know.

[Drew]

That, but chlorine curls right now. I didn't even shower after I got out of the pool because I was like, my hair is, like, really curly, and I want to see what it looks like, but I hate it so much. I've been looking at myself in the mirror recently and, like, being disgusted by how I look, but it's on purpose. What? That's like.

[Enya]

That's Juror's ongoing dig. Is he, like, he or gig? He can't, like, decide if he thinks he looks awesome or. Or if he thinks he looks literally disgusting because every.

[Drew]

Why did you say literally?

[Enya]

Because that's how you describe it. You're like, no, I actually look, like, actually repulsive right now, but I'm doing it on purpose. And then two days later, you're like, I'm actually sexiest I've ever been in my life. And, like, you actually. So hard.

[Drew]

I'm a liar, and I lie to myself, and I don't know it's true anymore. But we are so sober. Okay, but, like, sober. Y' all let us know if this is a sober.

[Enya]

We got into an argument with.

[Drew]

We've been. We've been going to parties. Like, we've been going out to, like, events and parties and stuff, but we don't drink. We don't pre game. We just go. And we're in our sober slayer era because we're like, let's see if we can just communicate with people and let loose and be fine without alcohol, which we have been. But we went to this party, and we. Right when we got inside, like, a thousand people surrounded us, and we're. Because we're so fucking famous, so popular. Yeah. That's basically like.

[Enya]

That's the core of the problem that we're finding is, like, we're so popular. So when we go to parties, everyone's.

[Drew]

Like, oh, and it's your favorite celebrities. It's your favorite celebrities.

[Enya]

Come with me. Come with me. Take a shot with me. Please, please, please. Like, I just want to share a moment with you. Like, an intimate moment, because I know you're gonna pass away soon, and I want to be able to post about it. And then what?

[Drew]

You're gonna pass away soon?

[Enya]

No, they're saying that to us. We're both.

[Drew]

Why?

[Enya]

It's like a duo. Die.

[Drew]

I don't want to die. I don't want to die yet. Does it look like I'm crying, but I have tears welling up? Okay, they went away. But yeah. So we walk into these party. This party, and a bunch of people are like, come take a shot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like an open bar. So we go to the shot or we go to the bar and we get a shot poured up. But they're the most minuscule little shot glasses ever made. Like, literally tiny. And I wouldn't even consider it a full shot. Like, they were, like, literally fake shots. And me and India took one of those and didn't feel anything. So I still say so bur sway. But technically, it's literally, like, not at.

[Enya]

All, I guess, technically. But in my head, I'm like, oh. If I'm like, I don't know. I'm Just like, I guess what is sober is considered nothing at all.

[Drew]

Like, yeah, Literally not even a drop.

[Enya]

So I guess, yeah, someone could argue with me, but I'm like, no. Like, I'm the only one coherent and, like, literally looking around, having the same social cues that I have when I'm, like, standing in the grocery store, like, I'm not. I'm not, like, blurred.

[Drew]

Like, a mass. Viewing is happening. When we go to parties now, we still have fun. We still shake our ass. We twerk on each other. I get a boner. But we.

[Enya]

You get a boner When I, like.

[Kai]

I get a boner, too.

[Enya]

From me.

[Kai]

No, just watching.

[Enya]

Don't talk to me.

[Drew]

I do get a boner boner. But now I watch. Now I'm viewing, and I see everything, and I see how people interact with each other, and I see the soulless fools, and I see the fools with souls.

[Enya]

And I see you.

[Drew]

It's crazy. I just know that I see you, and I see the type of person that you are. I see the type of person, and.

[Enya]

It'S making me really horny.

[Drew]

What the.

[Enya]

Like, all the people I see. Oh, this is an update. So recently I've been doing this thing where I, like, kind of sand down all my holes. And honestly, all the users are coming back with, like, raving reviews. They're like, it's so soft. Yeah, my holes, because I've been sanding them down.

[Drew]

Yeah, they do feel nice and smooth.

[Enya]

Yeah, it's like. It's like, almost. It's giving, like, a silicone effect recently.

[Drew]

But.

[Enya]

But I'm getting good, like, reviews about it.

[Drew]

It's true. They're. They're like, if you've ever done LSD or mushrooms and you've touched your skin or your trip sitter skin, because you should not trip without a trip sitter. And you felt their skin, and it's kind of glistening, and it feels kind of like silicone. That's what ineos holes feel like.

[Enya]

And I don't just mean, like, my member hole. Like, I mean all my holes. Like, any hole that can be used is sanded down.

[Drew]

I stretch a poor. Oh, my. I'll stretch a pore. What the. But we're still so. Okay, the craziest part.

[Kai]

That is the craziest you've ever said on this podcast.

[Enya]

That is. That was up.

[Drew]

What? Y' all are literally tweaking the out right now. I didn't even say anything. Like, that's the crazy. When you were talking about rewind it back. It says, I love Enya and Kai and y' all are saying that. I am crazy for saying that. I did not say anything bad.

[Kai]

No, it was cool. I liked it.

[Drew]

Thank you.

[Enya]

We didn't even say what you said was bad. We were just, like, astonished by your comedic timing.

[Kai]

You're, like, lashing out.

[Enya]

Wait, so did you actually not say anything? You're not that funny.

[Drew]

No, I said a lot of shit. I'm really funny. No, no, no. The thing is, is that we broke our Tick Tock sobriety, though. That's the craziest part.

[Enya]

I know people. The thing is, people were like, what the hell? What the hell? I'm trying to get a bag. If you see me doing an average.

[Drew]

Do not, like, just let me. Just let me live.

[Enya]

I. I don't really use the app still. Like, sometimes I catch myself using it and I'm like, oh, my God, this is really endless, like, doom scrolling and it's so scary. But my screen time on it is still, like, not as crazy. But I was thinking today, I was like, I'm gonna redelete it because I'm.

[Drew]

Racking up screen time. Like, it's literally like it never left my life. Like, I opened it and for like two days, I was like this. Like, I'm over it. Like, it doesn't do anything for me anymore. And then by day three, I was literally using it like six hours a day again. And I'm like, I need to. But it's. It's even worse now because I don't use it all day. I just sit in bed till like 4am and scroll aimlessly.

[Enya]

I use it at night the most. But, like, when I'm waiting for my bath to fill up, that's when I'll be using it because I'm like, I'm not gonna start my movie outside of the bath. I'm gonna start my movie in the bath. Like, come on. I'm not a psychopath. So I do use Tick Tock on the toilet while I'm waiting.

[Drew]

But, like, who? You know? No, I can't give the secret away. I can't.

[Enya]

Then don't.

[Drew]

Yeah, I'm not going to. Like, I'm literally want us to claw.

[Enya]

It out of you. So.

[Drew]

Bad girl, I'm living. No, I don't. That's the thing is I don't even want you.

[Enya]

I've gotten so good at that. Drew used to always be like, oh, like, about to say something and I would claw for it because I'd be like, you. You don't get to do that and now I literally don't give a. Like, he'll go to say something and I'm like, yeah, you don't have to share that if you don't want to. And I just keep it pushing and I literally, like, don't ask another question.

[Drew]

And I do the same to you and you don't even realize it.

[Enya]

No, but I say what I mean.

[Drew]

In a different way.

[Enya]

In a different way?

[Drew]

Yeah. Like, why I manipulate you in a different way?

[Enya]

No, the thing is, I just like, denounced you being able to manipulate me. So you wanted to double down and say that you do manipulate me.

[Drew]

Oh, I have my ways.

[Enya]

Sometimes I want to hit you so hard. Like, I wanted to smack the. I want to hit you so hard your head hits the wall behind you and hits my hand again.

[Drew]

Everything all at once reference. Nice.

[Enya]

Well, this is something I wrote down is my favorite thing is when a random civilian's TikTok goes viral. When you go to the comments in the. In there replying to things like, you go, sis. And because they have no grasp of the Internet, they're saying things like, I'm a boy. You getting mad for no reason.

[Drew]

Like, wait, what?

[Enya]

Like, you know when, like, someone random, like, I'm trying to think, it'll be like a girl goes viral. Like a really normal, average girl who obviously doesn't use the Internet that much or lingo. Yeah. Like, let's just use a guy, for example, and like, he, like, got really viral for something and then like, them not understanding the way people on the Internet talk. So taking all of the comments, like, really to heart. Like, if someone being like, you go sis. And then being like, I'm literally a fucking boy, don't fucking say that shit to me. Like, not realizing that it's not a girl, you go like, you're such a, like, girly, like, boy. Like him reading it as, like, I'm literally a fucking man. Like, I love partner flies.

[Drew]

People being offended by femininity.

[Enya]

Yeah. And I'm just being, like, offended by comments in general. I can't think of, like, good examples, but it's just like, it'll be like an older lady whose, like, thing goes viral and someone's like, you ate? And she's like, don't fucking say that to me. Like, just like, not understanding what that means.

[Drew]

What do you mean I ate? Do I look fat?

[Enya]

What do you mean I ate? I ate. What? I'm literally not eating in this video. Like, shut the fuck up. Leave me alone. Like, like, it's just like, it's so human. Like, we should not be having that many people talk to us who we don't understand.

[Drew]

Yeah, I think, like, lingo has gone so far. Like, actually, like, like thinking about it. Like, I. At this point, I don't know what slay means. Like, like, I don't know what it. It means everything and nothing at once. It's like the craziest thing ever. I use it like, in so many different ways. Like, if, like, if I said slay to my dad, I think his brain would melt. Like, I think he would actually, like, have an aneurysm and like, explode and die.

[Enya]

If we sang the national anthem the way we just did to pilgrims, they would like, melt.

[Drew]

They would. If we said that in front of a Republican, they would know. They would actually melt away. What the fuck does that mean? Not in my country. Let's talk about coyote survival situation. So we were on a hike. Me and India are in our house.

[Enya]

Just an example. Me and Drew should not be in a dangerous event together because, like, we do not exactly.

[Drew]

No, we're not compatible at all in survival situations.

[Enya]

But also calling this a survival.

[Drew]

We got. Me and Inya have been in our hike area. Yeah, we've been hiking. Like, I'm sure you can tell we're like a little more fit.

[Enya]

Like, we're just toned.

[Drew]

We're sexy, we're a little more tan. We're feeling good. We're. We've got our endorphins going. It's really nice. But on the hikes we go to, we go into like the canyons and like into the mountains of la and there's always going to be like a coyote out there. Cuz like, that's literally where they live. Like, we force them off their habitat. They had to move to the hills. It's really sad. But there was a kite. We were walking. We were walking.

[Enya]

You're giving a moment for the coyote.

[Drew]

A moment for the coyotes. I feel bad for them. They're misunderstood and even I misunderstand them. I know, but we were walking down to the hike and there was a coyote crossing in front of us. We wouldn't have even known it was there. Had a car not honked, but we were walking.

[Enya]

Yeah, it was like one of the rangers honked. So we turned around.

[Drew]

Yeah, so we turned around and looked and this coyote was literally staring at us like it was gonna like, try to kill us. It was like the scariest thing I've ever seen. I got a video of it. We'll insert it, but it was the.

[Enya]

Way it went was just funny because, like, I turned and I looked back when the car honked, and Drew turned and then turned back, and I looked back, and I was like, oh, I think he honked because there's, like, a coyote right there. Like, there's just a coyote behind us. So we kept walking, and then Drew, like, I don't. I think you just didn't process what I said. And then you just, like, looked back and, like, literally.

[Drew]

No, it's. It's not that I didn't process that you said, it's a coyote. I looked back and saw it was a coyote. And then I was like, no, that, like, literally, I was just so in shock and in fear that I was like, that it was going to attack us, that I wasn't listening to anything. But instead of my internal monologue, and I was like, I looked and I was like, oh, that's a coyote. And then you were like, yeah, it's a coyote. And then I looked back and I was like, oh, my God, that's a coyote. And you were like, I know. And I was literally like, you was.

[Enya]

Going into pure panic. And like, I was like, I. Like, I didn't even realize it because I was like. Like, I was more annoyed because I was like. I said it was a coyote. Like, why are we going. Like, why are we both repeating this to each other? I know it's a coyote. And then Drew's just like, oh, my God. And like, he started, like, kind of like, listing off his fear and being like, no, it's literally following us. And I was like, I know, but it's a kite. It's just a coyote.

[Drew]

Like, I don't like, but in the video. In the video, it literally is staring through my soul, and it literally wants my sweet, supple skin. It wants to eat me.

[Enya]

It wants your electric touch.

[Drew]

It literally wants my electric feel. Like, that's the thing. It wants my little honeybee.

[Enya]

But basically, I have no fear. And I don't see, that's just the thing about me. I've said it like a million times, like, I know how I'm gonna die, and that's just not it. I'm not gonna be mauled by a coyote.

[Drew]

But like, us in, like, a real survival situation, I think we've, like, dabbled on this subject. But, like, it would not be good.

[Enya]

No, it wouldn't. I would. I would get annoyed.

[Drew]

Yeah, I would be like, it would not. It would not be good. Cuz I would. And also, like, we just can't like, handle each other, like, giving us directions because we both want to, like, lead. So, like, if you told me to do something, I'd be like, fuck off. Like, I'm gonna go do this. And then I'd literally go and cut my foot open and get, like, gangrene. Have to cut my foot off.

[Enya]

That's the thing is, like, I know in a survival, like, situation, realistically, I feel like I would be more fit in terms of, like, building shelter and, like, getting food. And, like, I think I could build.

[Drew]

A shelter and get some food, but I think you telling me to go get food, I would be like, fucking damn it. Like, I was just about to go get the food. It's like when your mom used to tell you, like, go do the dishes, and I was literally, like, washing them already.

[Enya]

I think I would slay. But the thing is, like, I would just. I would not try. I'd be like, all right, cool.

[Drew]

Like, yeah. Like, do you actually want to live in an apocalyptic situation? Like, think about.

[Enya]

Not at all.

[Drew]

Think about it.

[Enya]

I'm like, listen, like, humans already went past the caveman era. Like, I'm in my slayer. Like, I don't want to have to go, like, find berries that won't kill me. I want to go to Erewhon and get some overpriced berries that will taste like dirt.

[Drew]

Like, that's what I want. Exactly. That's the vibe.

[Enya]

And I'm not doing the post apocalyptic shit. Like, I really, like, all of us have been saying, like, the world is going to end in like, two, three years.

[Drew]

Yeah. Like.

[Enya]

Like, I genuinely, like, am kind of starting to believe that. And I'm just prepping myself for absolute doom. And I'm always like, okay, what am I gonna do? Like, I guess I have to say bye to all my friends and give them one last kiss and, like, drive to Miami to be with my family while the world ends. Which is, like, so annoying because, like, I want to, like, play with my girls.

[Drew]

But yeah, we. That's like, been our motto recently is like, if I'm like, don't want to go out, or if I don't want to see people or, like, hang out with people that, like, I do love. But I'm just in my anti social era. I'm like, literally, like, it, like, the world's ending in three years. Like, let's just.

[Enya]

You have to get it out now.

[Drew]

Yeah, let's just, like, hang out because, like, we're not going to be alive in.

[Enya]

And I'm not fighting to the death with you bitches. Like, y' all want to live so bad. For what? Like, I literally. Like, it's not like, for what. Like, no, I'm not. I'm literally. I'm not fighting over food. Like, I'll be damned. I have too much pride. I'm like, oh, that's embarrassing.

[Drew]

I'm not running after a deer. That's embarrassing.

[Enya]

I'm like, that's so embarrassing. Like, people lining up at the gas station because there's no more oil being imported, and, like, they're fighting to death over gasoline. No, not a chance. I'm like, if I don't get gifted it, I'm not getting it. Like, just if someone isn't, like, thinking about me at the gas station is like, oh, I'm gonna give Anya some gas because, like, she's gonna need to, like, this to cook her food for the next, like, two days. I guess I'm not eating because I'm not doing it. Like, I'm literally not. I would rather drill a hole to the middle of the earth for my own oil before I go fight with you at the gas station over some gas.

[Drew]

Like, actually, it's humiliating. That's why surviving. Actually, like, surviving and being alive is just, like, perpetually embarrassing. Like, just like.

[Enya]

No, it is. Oh, my God.

[Drew]

Like, just existing is embarrassing. No, Also, like, dating, like, having a significant other is, like, actually so humiliating. Like, I couldn't imagine it.

[Enya]

Forever and ever, and I just want to. Someone needs to marry me right now. I'm gonna freak out.

[Drew]

Wife her up. She's taking applications. Where's my come tribute? I asked for a come tribute last.

[Enya]

Week, and I haven't seen.

[Drew]

I have not gotten a country.

[Enya]

Granted, I haven't looked it up, but you'll.

[Drew]

You'll do my come tribute? Yeah.

[Kai]

I mean, if nobody stepped up in the last.

[Drew]

Honestly, Kai, thank you. I. That's what I need in my life, people to step up and give me come tributes. That's what I need. I'll take a cream team. I'll take a squirt tribute.

[Enya]

Can we actually pause? Because I'm.

[Kai]

Oh.

[Enya]

Next time you flirt with my boyfriend in my face, I'm gonna stop you. Okay.

[Drew]

Okay.

[Kai]

I'm really sorry.

[Drew]

I had no idea.

[Enya]

No, you're sorry. You're sorry. Yeah.

[Kai]

I'm sure you're sorry.

[Drew]

Sorry.

[Kai]

I am sorry. Please don't fire him.

[Drew]

That was the hottest I've ever seen a movie.

[Enya]

I got really mad. I was like. I was like, I hope he steps.

[Drew]

And that was me. No, I wasn't gonna stop you. Hit someone for me. I don't give a. Okay. Yeah, because I'll go to jail with you. Oh, no, you're. Don't talk to my girl. Don't talk to my girl like that.

[Kai]

Please don't.

[Drew]

That's what it is, is you're talking to my girlfriend like that. It's like, really suspect.

[Kai]

I didn't even know.

[Enya]

Be a ass homewrecker. For what?

[Drew]

Like, I have, like, a bunch of notes if I should just go through them. Okay. Actually, this is just something that I actually do want to address. How good fingernails taste and the smell after you bite your fingernail off.

[Enya]

Like, the thing that you always say that, but after I go into, like, a biting frenzy, I'm really disgusted with myself. Like, I don't.

[Drew]

I have practiced such self control with my nails recently that I am able to literally let them grow for two weeks, three weeks at a time, and then I just get a big fucking snack at the end of the three weeks, and I just numb off. And then I let them grow for three more weeks.

[Enya]

Well, if anybody knows me, they know that I've always been a nail biter. That's disgusting, by the way. But they know that I've always been a nail biter.

[Drew]

It tastes good. It's like eating.

[Enya]

I haven't been biting my nails. I'm also gonna show you all my nails. And I know you bitches are gonna copy me, so let's just put it out right now. Like, I have the sauce, I have the slay, I have the serve. Like, fine, I'll show you my nails. Whatever. Like, go ahead, copy me. Copycat ass bitch me. When I'm doing my job and influencing. I don't know.

[Drew]

They're like, why don't we just take a photo and then insert a photo?

[Enya]

Because they look really pretty right now. My nails are beautiful. Like, I can't believe how long they are. Do you see what's on them?

[Kai]

Is that Jesus? Oh, that's cute.

[Drew]

Jesus, Mary, Mother Mary your mama. Well, no, I'm telling you, you should gnaw them off and just get a taste. Get a taste of. Just do. And then, like, practice self control after. And then just let them grow out. And then you get it. Like, it's like kind of infinite food if you think about it.

[Enya]

No, because you know what the thing is? I think we bite our nails in different ways. Like, we bite our nails in different ways. Like, mine is, like, really gnarly. Like, I go in. In, like, a very Destructive and hurtful way. You know who talked about it is. What is her real name? Miranda Sings. Like, real name. I don't know.

[Drew]

Miranda Sings. That's literally what I know that's on her birth certificate, Amanda Bynes.

[Enya]

But she has a really good video where she talks about it. Like, there' like, a thing. Also, sorry, I just have to address this. I finally hit a million subscribers on YouTube, like, which isn't, like, I don't feel good about, because I was stuck at 994k for literally two years. So, like, I think a bunch of bots attacked my account. Or maybe, like, people from this, the podcast who found my account went and followed my account. But I finally hit a million. And, like, I just got a text congrats from our manager being like, congrats. But I'm like, like, girl, give me flowers.

[Drew]

Yeah, send me flowers. Send me a bouquet.

[Enya]

Me and me being like, can you do something? As if they don't, like, bust their ass for us. I'm like, can you get me flowers? Really ungrateful of me. Thank you, guys. But I like. She was talking about how she has the thing where she will, like, scratch at her skin. I don't have it as bad as she does, but that's what I have.

[Drew]

I used to. I used to eat. I do not remember my hands. I used to be so humiliated getting out of the bath or shower because it, like, I would eat the skin around my nails all the way up the side of my nail, and it was on all of them, and they would, like, swell up when it prunes and like that. And I would go even harder then and just eat all that.

[Enya]

Because you even it out.

[Drew]

Yeah. And, like, it was so gnarly. It got to the point. This is why I stopped biting my nails and eating the skin around my fingers. It's like, it's really gnarly and gross. And I know it's, like, sounds kind of funny, but it was. Was so debilitating, actually, like.

[Enya]

I know, I know.

[Drew]

Showing my hands.

[Enya]

Yeah.

[Drew]

And like, it was to the, Like, I remember like, in, like, fifth grade, like, I was on baseball and, like, I, like, would. I would take the glove off of my hand and just start gnawing at the skin because it was like, an anxiety. It was. It wasn't like I could control it either. But I know what you're talking about. And it got so bad that, like, even, like, up until, like, like a year and a half ago. I'll tell you how I fixed it for people who have It. But it got so bad that I moved to, like, the skin on my. The underneath of my big toe. Do you remember that? And I would peel the skin off the bottom of my toe. It was gnarly, and it was pure anxiety. When I was, like, in my most anxious, like, state, I would literally rip the skin off of my big toe, like, the bottom of it, and, like, it would hurt to walk, and. And it was really gross and embarrassing. But the way I stopped it was gel nail polish. I literally just. I put, like, when I had the gel nails and, like, the acrylics on, like, I couldn't, like, bite the skin, and I couldn't, like, rip my nails off. So, like, that's literally how I cured it. I wasn't able to bite it.

[Enya]

Yeah. Anytime I go back into a phase of binding my nails, I'll get, like, long acrylics. But putting on gel polish is the only way I don't bite my nails. Because I'm just like, oh, I have this nail polish. Because if it's regular nail polish, I will literally eat that nail polish. Like, it doesn't stop me. Like, I've ingested probably, like, a bottle and a half worth of, like, real nail polish from trying to style myself. But I'm the same way. Like, I literally. Yesterday when we were watching the movie, I, like, fully got into a fit of it.

[Drew]

I know I, like, pulled your hair when I'm just.

[Enya]

It's literally when my brain is off. Like, I kind of just start going at it, and, like, I will not stop. It's like I will have, like, almost my whole hand in my mouth at some point, just, like. Like, eating my up. And it's like, now it's just the skin around my face and not my nails. And, like, it hurts. Like.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Enya]

Like, if you, like, it's kind of a good. A lot of my nails, like, a lot of them have, like, deep cuts from, like, me just, like, ripping off.

[Drew]

I permanently changed, like, the shapes of my fingers forever by biting all the skin off. But it would, like, I would bite them until, like, they bled.

[Enya]

Yeah.

[Drew]

And I would. Like when you.

[Enya]

When you bite the nail too low, and then it's like, all, like. Like, the raw skin under the nails.

[Drew]

And, like, right here, it would, like, be, like, literally gushing blood, and then it would get, like, infected, and, like, I would, like, it would just hurt so bad. Yeah.

[Enya]

But it still happens to me pretty often.

[Drew]

It's, like, pure anxiety, I think. Like, it's like, an anxiety thing. And then, like, it's like, literally, like a disorder. Like, it's called something.

[Enya]

I don't know there's a name for it because I used to also do that to my face. Like, when I was, like, breaking out a lot, I would like to sit in bed and, like, if I had no makeup on, that's also one of the reasons. Even when I had acne, I always had to put makeup on because if I didn't, I would pick up my face. A lot of my, like, acne scars and stuff are literally from me just, like, sitting and scratching at my acne. And I would, like. It would literally, I would scratch it until it felt flat. But obviously that's not how that works. So I would just, like, scratch at my skin forever. And I have so many pictures of my face, like, really, like. Like, puffy and red from me just, like, scratching at it. Because I wouldn't even, like, think about doing it. I would just be sitting, watching something, and then all of a sudden I'm like, oh, my face really itches because I have acne right now. And I would just scratch at it. And then, like, also when it would scab up, I would always, like, peel and scratch at it because I didn't like the feeling of.

[Drew]

You were just addicted to meth and heroin. It's called dermatophagia. It's a body for body focused, repetitive behavior. It goes beyond just nail biting or occasional chewing on the finger. It's not a habit or a tick, but rather a disorder. Damn. So we are literally neurodivergent. I know.

[Enya]

But literally. Oh, it was actually also so embarrassing because in all of my relationships.

[Drew]

Is dermatophagia a mental illness? It is a mental disorder order related to obsessive compulsive disorder.

[Enya]

A lot of my. It was so embarrassing because a lot of my partners would be like. And, like, people just, like, who I had relationships with would be like, like, always trying to stop me. And it would just, like, make me really angry too, because I'm like, dude, I'm not doing this because I want to be doing this. Like, I literally can't. Like, I'm not. It's not like you're telling me to stop, and then I'm like, oh, them. I'm gonna keep going. It's literally like someone can, like, pull my hand out of my mouth, and before I know it, like, I don't even think about it. Like, it's back in my mouth. Like, and that's, like, always been. Especially when I drive. Like, when I drive, I'm always, like, if I'm in traffic, I'm just like, like, eating my, like, hands.

[Kai]

Why don't you guys just be normal and not.

[Enya]

That's a good take. Honestly.

[Drew]

Honestly. Yeah, you're right. Maybe we should just try that. I mean, I actually genuinely, like, I've.

[Enya]

Gotten to a good place with it. I don't do it as crazy.

[Drew]

Like, I gin, like, don't anymore. It's like, the craziest thing ever. I've cut. Like, maybe there's like, one. Like, when, like, shit gets really hot. Like, recently I've been, like, picking at, like, this part of my finger. Like, you can kind of see it happening just because I have so much going on. But, like, other than that, like, I've completely stopped, which is so sick.

[Enya]

Yeah. I'm trying to think I don't do it as much anymore. But that's also one of the other reasons I deleted Tick Tock was because I would, like, be doom scrolling and stuck. And I think I would get anxious because I'd be like, dude, I'm wasting so much time sitting on my phone. But I couldn't get away from my phone. So I'd be biting the out of my nails and then it would make my hands really clammy, and I would just get more anxious because I'm like. I'm like, like, so stuck in this loop right now. And I would bite my nails even more and then I would feel like, because I'm like, oh, my God. Like, my mouth. Like, I do it so badly sometimes that my mouth feels, like, weird. Have you ever had that? Like, I've done it so badly that, like, my mouth is, like, tired from biting. Like, my skin and my mouth doesn't get tired easily. Like, I'm sure you all know about my goal. Whatever. Whatever. We don't have to get into it.

[Drew]

She wants to kill a person by.

[Enya]

Giving them head, which is, like, you can only dream. I'm. It's honestly a dream. It's not even a goal. Like, I don't know if I want to get to it.

[Drew]

What do you think about this take? Having Instagram is literally cheating on your partner. Like, if you have Instagram.

[Enya]

As a man.

[Drew]

Yes. Yeah. Like, without a doubt, if you have Instagram, you're cheating on your significant other.

[Enya]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Enya]

Why are you replying to stories right now?

[Drew]

Yeah. Why are you posting yourself? Like, so who do you want to be seen by? Kids can like your photo.

[Enya]

No, literally, who do you want to be seen by so badly? When I'm right Here. Motherfucker.

[Drew]

It just makes sense. It just makes no sense. I genuinely think it's cheating.

[Enya]

So, yeah, that's my cheating. You know the thing on, like, it was a thing on TikTok where I was like, is it cheating or not cheating? Like, it was, like, the thing. Do you consider cheating or not cheating? I was, like, taking a selfie. Posting a selfie.

[Drew]

Cheating main.

[Enya]

No story. Selfie main.

[Drew]

Posting selfie cheating.

[Enya]

Cheater, cheat.

[Drew]

That's literally cheater behavior.

[Enya]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Like, if they're not posting pictures of us, then they're cheating.

[Enya]

Literally post me. I've never been into that, though. That's embarrassing. Like, being posted by a significant other. Really? It can be cute when it's, like, done casually and randomly, but when it's like, like, I'm like, y' all are fighting. I know y' all are fighting.

[Drew]

Y' all are not actually in love.

[Enya]

That's. That's the truth. I had this really going in on posting each other. They're fighting. Yeah, they're fully fighting.

[Drew]

This is so weird that you brought this up, because I literally thought about this, like, two days ago because I was looking at, like, a bunch of, like, locals, like. Like, couple pictures or whatever, and I was just like, these are so weird and, like, framed and, like, professionally shot. I'm like, y' all don't love each other.

[Enya]

Yeah, literally, like, any partner I've ever had, I have to go out of my way to get a picture with that. Oh, but now y' all are posing.

[Drew]

I know you're.

[Enya]

You're fighting. You are fighting. You're fighting so much right now. Y' all are pissed at each other.

[Drew]

They are pissed. The.

[Enya]

And I think it's, like, not even, like, you think about it. I think people do it because they're like, all right. Like, no, we're not gonna break up. Like, I'm solidify that we're together. And, like, you're not gonna go find someone else. Like, you're not gonna cheat because everyone knows that we're together.

[Kai]

Like, you mean like, candid photos, too?

[Drew]

Like, I don't think.

[Enya]

No, not necessarily. I mean, like, when couples start posting heavily, like, pictures of themselves together, like. Like, it's someone who's been dating someone, and it's specifically, like, if they've been dating for more than a year and they don't really post each other that much, but now all of a sudden, they're posting the living out of each other, it's like, you're cheating. Also, if, like, he's commenting on all her pictures, they fought about it and she asked him to do it.

[Drew]

She told him to.

[Enya]

Like, that goes for honestly any relationship. Because, like, I don't comment on. I rarely comment on people's. If someone's partner is commenting on every single post of theirs, they were asked to do that because no human in the right state of like, mind is doing that by choice. Like, you live with. You took the photo, but you don't have anything to say about it.

[Drew]

I literally live with you. Yeah.

[Enya]

Why am I commenting on this right now?

[Drew]

You're so pretty hyping each other up in the comments.

[Enya]

I'm like, okay. Like, that's their friend's job. Subs like, yeah, get out of here. Why are you on this app? Yeah, but that's just my type. That's just my hateful. Well, let's Spirited tape.

[Drew]

Let's talk about how we went to a Jersey Shore themed party and we got dressed. It's on us.

[Enya]

This is on us, though, because technically we were supposed to be there for the intimate part of it. Like a surprise part of it where it was like, oh, cute. And then we got there, like, after it had already turned into, like a public thing because everyone I spoke to was like, no, I didn't see that invite.

[Drew]

Yeah. So we got an invite to this Jersey Shore themed party and we dressed the fuck up. Like, we dressed like we were on the show Jersey Shore. Like, the most, like, disgusting, rancid outfits possible.

[Enya]

I can't even post my outfit because it's like it's did so much.

[Drew]

Yeah, it was a lot. I can post mine. I'll post mine. But it was. We went hard as and we pulled up to this party and we looked through the windows of the front door or in the living room and it was the most normal normcore, like, outfits I'd ever seen in my entire life. Like, normally when we go out, like, people are dressed the up, dolled the up. Everyone was in like, the most norm core outfits I've ever seen. Granted, like the typical girls that always come to slay. We're slang. But, like, we had different versions of jerseys. Sure, for sure. Like, ours was like, literally like, go as like white trash as possible. And they were like, we're going to be like, cute Jersey Shore. And I know.

[Enya]

And me, I was like, I'm going to give nasty. Like, snooki just had 10 shots and I'm like, stumbling back home.

[Drew]

So we pulled up to this party and literally everyone was looking at us the entire time. And I was very Insecure about it the entire time. And anytime I would talk to someone new, I'd be like, yeah. Also, I thought this was your jersey. Also, I thought this was a Jersey Shore themed party. I'm sorry that I look like this.

[Enya]

I literally had to change because I was like, no, I brought. I brought different clothes because I was like, I have a feeling I'm going a little too hard. My whole hole was out. I was showing.

[Drew]

Yeah, her Bronson was showing.

[Enya]

My Bronson, my boobies. Everything was out. And then I was like, you know what? I'm going to put it all away because you are wearing jeans. So I'm gonna join the Gene. The Gene party. I'm gonna. I'm gonna join the Jeaners. Like, the Jenners. Anybody?

[Kai]

That was good.

[Enya]

Let's get into media.

[Drew]

Wait, no, no. I want to talk about one more thing. I've been seeing a lot of conversation about. Like, I've said this before, but I've seen a lot of conversation about, like, oh, like, this person's an npc. Like, look how they dress. Like, let's fucking troll the NPCs. And I'm like, literally, what is wrong with that? Like, if I could be an npc, it genuinely would be the best thing that's ever happened.

[Kai]

You don't have to wear a Cookie Monster hat.

[Drew]

No, no.

[Enya]

Like, no one's making you act.

[Kai]

No one forced you to put that.

[Drew]

Well, no, that's what I'm saying. I. I don't even make these decisions. Conscience, like, whatever, Consciousnessly, that means that. What is the word? Consciously conscious. Consciously. I don't make these decisions. It just happens.

[Kai]

That means that you're an NPC. NPCs don't have free will.

[Drew]

Ever. Rebooting.

[Enya]

I'm not an NPC. I'm really smart. I'm, like, here. I make decisions for myself.

[Drew]

No, I want all of my. I want my life to be predetermined. I don't want to ever have to make another decision again. I don't want to have to decide what I want to eat. I don't want to decide how I want to dress.

[Enya]

That's why I eat the same thing every day. Because you don't have to decide.

[Drew]

That's why I'm doing uniform.

[Kai]

You're doing uniforms.

[Drew]

I'm gonna start doing uniforms. I was sitting on the couch today thinking about it, and I was like, I'm fully going to have a uniform. Maybe it's not, like, a strict uniform. Like, the same clothes every single day. Maybe it's Like. Like, three or four outfits that, like, I love, and I love the colors, and I love the way they fit me, and I just wear those every three. I literally already do that. Like, I don't know what I'm talking about. Like, I literally wear the same thing every day.

[Enya]

Couldn't be me. I love fashion. I love slang. I love serving. I love giving head. Oh, my God.

[Kai]

Oh, I have two outfits.

[Drew]

You literally do. Kai has his uniform, and I usually make.

[Enya]

Kai is sitting right now.

[Drew]

He's slaying.

[Kai]

I'm being. I'm relaxing.

[Drew]

I used to make fun of Khan for his uniform, but then I realized that, like, I'm jealous of Kai for his uniform. You literally have chicken legs and. Oh.

[Enya]

Okay. But you.

[Kai]

Oh, no, those are actually my legs.

[Enya]

Yeah, you.

[Drew]

You're serving girl leg, girly girl.

[Kai]

Thank you.

[Drew]

Yeah. You're literally serving skinny right now. It's, like, actually crazy, honestly.

[Kai]

Thank you.

[Drew]

But, yeah, I just. Basically, what I was saying is shut the up about the NF or shut the up about the NPCs, because I want to be one, and you should.

[Enya]

You're a wannabe. I'm losing it. I'm suppressing so much emotionally, and I'm gonna continue.

[Drew]

All right, my media of the week is Appalachian Fiction by Christian Camaro, Amaro Camaro, Pluto by Bjork, Anti Matter by Nerd, and Everybody Knows by Nerd featuring Kanye West, Lupe Fiasco, and what's the last. I forget the last guy always. Oh, well, it doesn't matter. Y' all will find the song. And then obviously everything in Everything Everywhere, all at once. That movie's a classic.

[Enya]

I know.

[Drew]

It's literally my favorite movie of all time.

[Enya]

Yeah, it literally immediately got added to my favorites on letterboxd. All right. Simulation Swarm by Big Thief, Srio Samte by Bronco Matahe, and Peace by Dave Bigsby are all of my audios. And also Still Healing by Todd Rundgren. I think I already said that. Oh, and no One in the World by Locust. But if you put those songs like Healing first and then no one, they transition really well into each other, and that's my media of the week. And then, yeah, Everything Everywhere all at Once is my movie of the week. I can't think of any other movie I've seen. I don't think I've been.

[Drew]

Watching a lot of this show called the Good Place. And the way I describe it is it's not good, but it's good brain rot. Like, it's good to just lay in bed for four hours and watch, like, 26 episodes and just rot away. But actually, I say that, but then the season finale for season one, like, actually got me. I was like. I was like, damn, this, like, literally got me. Like, I. I normally don't get. I don't normally get tricked. Yeah. I don't normally get got or, like, get tricked. And, like, I. I always know what's coming next in, like, movies or shows, but this got me. But, yeah.

[Enya]

All right, thank you guys so much for watching this episode. I hope you have an awful night and something bad happens.

[Drew]

No, jk.

[Enya]

Jk. Guys, I could not. I don't wish that.

[Drew]

It's not recording.

[Enya]

Shut the fuck up. All right, bye.

[Drew]

Yeah.