Normalize being an awful person

Summary

Emergency Intercom Podcast Episode Summary: "Normalize Being an Awful Person"

Release Date: August 25, 2023

Hosts: Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips
Produced by: iHeartPodcasts
Description: Emergency Intercom is a comedy podcast where Enya and Drew delve into various topics with humor and candidness. In the episode titled "Normalize Being an Awful Person," they explore themes surrounding self-perception, technology addiction, mental health, and societal norms.

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1. Introduction to the Episode's Theme

The episode kicks off with Enya and Drew setting the stage for a candid discussion about being perceived as "awful" and the societal pressures that influence self-image and behavior.

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2. Social Media and Technology Addiction

Discussion Highlights:

• TikTok's Impact: Enya shares her struggles with excessive scrolling on TikTok, likening it to the extreme gaming addiction seen in Japanese game cafes. She remarks, "I'm becoming with my phone. It's like to the point where I'm laying immobilized in bed" (03:19).

• Screen Time Concerns: The hosts delve into their own screen time habits, highlighting the challenges of reducing phone usage. Enya expresses frustration, "I just can't stop scrolling" (03:19), while Drew suggests, "We need to make that a song. Yeah, that'll be a hit" (03:44).

Notable Quote:

Enya: "I have been studying, like, near death experiences a lot. And I want to experience that so bad." (12:18)

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3. Mental Health and Near-Death Experiences

Discussion Highlights:

• Exploring Near-Death Experiences: Enya opens up about her fascination with near-death experiences (NDEs) as a coping mechanism following her brother's sudden passing. She states, "I genuinely... have become attached to it because, like, when my brother died" (12:18).

• Drew's Perspective: Drew questions the practicality of seeking NDEs without putting oneself in genuine danger, leading to a humorous yet insightful exchange about the risks and rewards of such pursuits.

Notable Quote:

Enya: "It's really comforting to know that there is some form of afterlife, whether it's like, religious or spiritual or not." (13:01)

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4. Fame and Celebrity Culture

Discussion Highlights:

• Evolution of Celebrity Obsession: The hosts discuss how celebrity culture has transformed from being demonized to becoming a normalized aspect of everyday life. Drew remarks, "Now it's such a normal. Like, nobody questions the fact that people know exactly what every celebrity is up to" (32:00).

• Impact of Social Media: Enya and Drew analyze how platforms like Instagram have democratized fame, allowing micro-celebrities to emerge alongside traditional stars like Timothy Chalamet.

Notable Quote:

Drew: "Celebrities used to be so demonized... now it's like a normal." (32:00)

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5. Lazy Habits and Personal Anecdotes

Discussion Highlights:

• Sharing Lazy Behaviors: The trio humorously discusses their laziest habits, ranging from Drew's reluctance to change the litter box to Enya's tendency to let laundry pile up. Enya jokes, "I let them sit on the floor of my closet for a month" (52:00).

• Household Routines: Their banter highlights relatable struggles with maintaining household chores and the humorous lengths they go to avoid them.

Notable Quote:

Enya: "I'm innovating my lazy things that I do obviously, like Uber Eats, like almost every meal." (51:14)

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6. Screen Time and Personal Lifestyle

Discussion Highlights:

• Tracking Screen Usage: Enya and Drew compare their screen time statistics, leading to lighthearted ribbing about each other’s habits. Enya claims a high screen time due to her intent to "latch onto" digital content (36:01).

• Lifestyle Choices: Kai contributes by sharing his own screen time and daily routines, emphasizing the differences in how each host interacts with technology.

Notable Quote:

Drew: "We need to normalize not texting people back all the time. Leave me alone." (37:18)

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7. Other Topics and Banter

Discussion Highlights:

• Remote Viewing and Conspiracy Theories: The conversation shifts to topics like remote viewing and shifts, with Enya claiming she can "put her consciousness in other people's heads" (41:12).

• Pop Culture References: References to movies like "Talk to Me" and "Fight Club" lead to humorous exchanges about movie knowledge and character interpretations.

• Personal Stories: Enya discusses personal experiences, such as ordering special Beats headphones from Japan and the anticipation that followed (22:04).

Notable Quote:

Enya: "You are so weird, man." (67:56)

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8. Conclusion and Final Thoughts

The episode wraps up with the hosts reflecting on their discussions, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness and the humorous acceptance of their own flaws. They encourage listeners to embrace their imperfections while navigating the complexities of modern life.

Notable Quote:

Drew: "I need to see your steps. I'm sorry, what are yours?" (56:25)

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Key Takeaways:

• Embracing Imperfection: The episode centers on the idea of normalizing one's own flaws and accepting oneself despite societal judgments.

• Technology's Double-Edged Sword: While social media and smartphones connect us, they also contribute to addiction and mental health challenges.

• Evolving Fame: Celebrity culture has become more pervasive and normalized, impacting how individuals perceive themselves and others.

• Humorous Self-Deprecation: Enya and Drew use humor to discuss serious topics, making the conversation engaging and relatable.

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Note: This summary excludes all advertisements, intros, outros, and non-content segments to focus solely on the substantive discussions between Enya, Drew, and Kai.

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Timestamps Reference:

• [03:19] Social Media Addiction
• [12:18] Fascination with Near-Death Experiences
• [13:01] Comfort in Afterlife Concepts
• [32:00] Evolution of Celebrity Culture
• [51:14] Lazy Habits Discussion
• [52:00] Laundry Piling Anecdote
• [36:01] Screen Time Statistics
• [37:18] Normalizing Digital Communication
• [41:12] Remote Viewing Claims
• [22:04] Beats Headphones Story
• [56:25] Screen Time Comparison
• [67:56] Final Banter

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Transcript

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Drew]

It's like you just get me. I feel like my true self with you. Does that sound crazy? And it doesn't hurt that you're gorgeous? Okay, that's it. I'm taking you home with me. I mean, you can't find shoes this good just anywhere. Find a shoe for every you from brands you love like Birkenstock, Nike, Adidas and more at your DSW store or d dot com.

[Enya]

Welcome back. Welcome back to Emergency Intercom with why? Welcome back to Emergency Intercom. Okay.

[Drew]

Oh, see? And that's just. He thinks he can. It's all fun games.

[Enya]

It's all fun and games. Yeah, it's all fun and games.

[Drew]

That's me. When. When you found out I was banging your mom, I was like, it's all fun and games. It doesn't have to be. There doesn't have to be anger in that, you know?

[Enya]

Oh, right.

[Drew]

Oh, true.

[Kai]

Are you okay?

[Enya]

No. I'm literally being attacked. I'm being attacked constantly.

[Drew]

He's being attacked by all the people in his head. How are you? Hey, when doing a podcast, you should have just like start scrolling through your phone. Okay. He's just. He needs his time guy. Seriously, he's.

[Enya]

We popped up in one.

[Drew]

That was such a real reaction.

[Enya]

That's how I scroll through Tik Tok is like just.

[Drew]

I know. That's when I know it's time to walk away from the app when I can't even watch like 30, 15 second. I almost said episode, you know, video.

[Enya]

You know, I'm like, I, I. You know those, like, game cafes in Japan where like, people will die, like themselves in like, buckets and, and they just die because they, like, are so.

[Drew]

Addicted to the game.

[Enya]

Yeah. They don't eat. That's how I'm becoming with my phone. It's like to the point where I'm like laying immobilized in bed and like, my brain is like, get rid of this phone. Like, throw it, just throw it across the room. And my hand is like clutching it tighter and tighter and it's like white knuckling and I'm like trying to get rid of it and then I just keep scrolling and it's like I get so frustrated with myself and that I'm still scrolling, but I just can't stop scrolling. Oh, wow. Can't stop scrolling.

[Drew]

We got to make that a song. Yeah, that'll be a hit.

[Enya]

It's like, that's what the Mask did. That's what the point of the Mask is.

[Drew]

I hate that one. Oh, it's like, Never mind. I, that. I just had a moment again. Sorry, I sound like I'm having a stroke, but I just had a moment again where my joke would have only made sense if I literally interrupted your sentence. And then I started to interrupt you and I was like, oh, my God, I have to stop doing that. I was going to say the voice in the back of your head is literally in your room. You were experiencing like a Lord of the Rings type of like, experience with Gollum in the ring. And that's like, you're. But that's also. He's just a schizophrenic character, but maybe we should delve into that. But like, he literally, like, he has voices in his head in a really scary way. And I hate that I even know so much about the Lord of the Rings. I don't even know, but that was like something my family watched growing up.

[Enya]

But.

[Drew]

But we don't have to leave that in. Cuz nobody needs to know that I'm a Lord of the Rings.

[Enya]

No, we're leaving that in. Enya is a Lord of the Rings stand. She watches all of them.

[Drew]

She's even down to the hobbit feet look like that. Like, that was unnecessary. Why?

[Enya]

Big, big hairy feet. Big man feet. Oh, okay. Oh, okay.

[Drew]

We didn't say anything. You're the one going off about like, whatever.

[Enya]

Just say what you want to say about me. Like, oh, I'm n. Oh, I'm.

[Kai]

We didn't say anything.

[Drew]

We didn't Say anything.

[Enya]

Yeah, y' all didn't say anything. Y' all didn't just call me a freak. Yeah, because I. Because I like big, hairy hobbit feet. Like, what the.

[Kai]

We didn't say anything. You said it, and then you got super weird.

[Enya]

Can we just move on? Because y' all are attacking me.

[Drew]

We. I mean, we're waiting for you to finish.

[Enya]

Oh, I'll wait. Oh, I'll wait. I'll wait for you to finish. Oh. Oh, I'll wait. Oh. Oh, that's all right.

[Drew]

That's what that email called you. I got the same one.

[Enya]

Wait, which.

[Drew]

I wonder if they changed the.

[Enya]

Oh.

[Drew]

For that magazine. I wonder if they changed the wording a little bit. But you need to.

[Enya]

I want to. Yeah. I want it to be known that this is something I want to do. And I thought it was hilarious, and I'm not offended by it at all, but I got an email asking me to be, like. To be a part of their magazine. And I think, like, it's like, a spread or, I don't know, like a big interview. Like, I'm cover model, like, material. Like, they want me just.

[Drew]

Oh, I didn't. I mean, yesterday when you were saying it, it was way more subdued of an email.

[Enya]

Yeah. They just want me to be, like, a really big part. Maybe even, like, editor in chief of the company one day. But we'll get into that later. But. But the. The issue, like, without spoiling it too much, they basically were like, we just, like, freaks. We want to talk to freaks and people who have. And, like, gay. Like, we want to talk to gay freaks. And I was like, oh, it was like, this.

[Drew]

This issue, we're gonna be exploring what it's like to be a freak, and we're gonna be exploring sexuality.

[Enya]

Yeah. And I was like, oh, so I'm a gay freak?

[Drew]

I got the same email, and then I had to reply, and I was like, hey, you need to get rid of the last part, because that is not me the freak. And then we got into a big argument, me and this person.

[Enya]

Yeah.

[Drew]

So I guess I'm not getting the COVID with you. It's gonna be.

[Kai]

That's great. I got an email from the big Perfect penis magazine.

[Enya]

Oh, really?

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Enya]

Bp. Bpp. Didn't they spill oil into the ocean or something?

[Kai]

Yeah, different.

[Drew]

Yeah. And they got. They got flagged down for Photoshop.

[Enya]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Like, it came out that they. All they do is Photoshop.

[Kai]

That's a different company. This is just a magazine that focuses on people with big, perfect penises.

[Enya]

I think you're supporting a big oil company that fracks and causes earthquakes.

[Kai]

No, this is a totally different thing.

[Drew]

Okay, you would, though. That's kind of your vibe. That is like, oil money. I saw you just give that.

[Enya]

I saw this girl talking about, like, literally gaslighting. Gaslighting?

[Drew]

What the fuck is gasoline?

[Enya]

It's like this new thing. It's, like, similar to gaslighting, but it's called gaslighting. It's like, you know, you can only do it, you know, like Kaylee. Like lig. It's gas lading. Like lig. I N, G. It's like. It's a good vibe.

[Drew]

I didn't understand the first part of that. Like, what word did you say?

[Enya]

Haley? Like, the. The middle of America. Names keep getting long, and it used to be like, K, A, Y, L, E, Y, or whatever. K, A, however you spell K. But now it's K, A, Y, L, E, I, G, H. And it's like, Dax Lee, Dax Lei. They add Lee to the end of everything.

[Drew]

But if you are changing it from gaslighting to gaslighting, you know that only one letter changes. It doesn't add a letter.

[Kai]

But it's like you're saying, like, L, I, G, H, T, I, N, G. Yeah, yeah.

[Enya]

Lay later, Right? But I saw this, like, person talking about, like, and gaslighting the audience about, like, what it was like to be a Victoria's Secret model back then. And, like, they were like. I mean, it's like, not our fault that, like, we're so beautiful and we have such literally. And, like, saying, like. And sure, they edited the out of us, but, like, a lot of it was us. And they were, like, making it seem like the young generation of girls growing up on Victoria's Secret was, like, the problem that they were tuning in. And, like. I don't know. I just thought it was funny because.

[Drew]

Yeah, well, because you're trying to tell a extremely hot person that they're not that hot. Like, that's basically what you're doing, is like, okay, you. Yes, we understand you're sexy, but you were being Photoshopped to look even sexier. It's like, no, I, like, okay, like, backtrack, because I am sexy. So why don't you just leave it there? Why does it have to be a thing?

[Enya]

Literally, But.

[Drew]

So I stand with the Victoria's Secrets model.

[Enya]

Yeah. That I was gonna say, at the end of the day, that's like, all.

[Drew]

That, like, God didn't give you huge boobs by seventh grade, then tough luck. I had to go through that. And you know what? I don't know how I. I survived, but I did some things. You just make it through.

[Enya]

Country girls make do. Country girls make do.

[Drew]

Speaking of school, I miss hiding the wire in my headphones. Oh, cuz we saw that Tik tok. That was like, people, like, showing how they're going to hide their AirPod.

[Enya]

AirPods out.

[Drew]

We'll insert it. Do you have an AirPod in, ma' am? Do you have AirPods in your ear? But it's like, Kai. Because you haven't seen it because, like, we don't send you stuff because, like, you're not our friend once you leave this house. It was this tick tock of these girls, like, showing how they're gonna take their AirPod out when the teacher is like, do you have an AirPod in? And they're using their hair to cover, and they're like, oh, no. And then they're like, grabbing it and moving their hair to the side with the AirPod, like, in their hand to grab it so the teacher doesn't see it. And me and Drew were talking about how that was, like, such a thing for us, but with wired headphones. And I don't know if you did that too, or if you were so old that they didn't have that kind of technology.

[Enya]

Yeah, like, I don't know, running it through the shirt and down the arm and it, like, comes out and you have to, like, sit it on your ear.

[Kai]

We had headphones when I was in high school. Like, oh, my God.

[Drew]

Oh, high school. They have those in, like, middle school and stuff.

[Kai]

Yeah, they had them in middle school, and they had them before I was in middle school.

[Drew]

But we. I'm not the big ones that, like, astronauts, like, use. Oh, you mean not the ones that.

[Kai]

Are steam powered, Like.

[Drew]

Yeah, not the steampunk.

[Kai]

Oh, then never mind. You're right.

[Drew]

Yeah, right, right. I don't know why I went down that tangent.

[Enya]

Yeah, we were just talking about, like, how in high school, like, we had to do that, but now people can just, like, wirelessly take them out and hide it with just their hair. And we had to, like, hide it through our shirt. But, like, which is like, our way is way easier because, like, you just drop it and it goes through your thing. You take it off and like, now you have to, like, pull your hair to side and, like, pull it out.

[Drew]

And like, I don't think I ever got caught with headphones on in class. And then. Yeah, because I think it wasn't like, A popular thing to do now. But now it's popular to have headphone in, hit vape, eat hot Cheeto and sexual in high school, which is, like, really weird.

[Enya]

I thought of something so funny, like, as we were talking about that. What were we talking before? It doesn't matter anymore. I lost it. But, like, there was something that popped into my head that was like, literally the funniest thing I was ever gonna say ever. And it sucks that I lost it. You get to see me just go through it and just experience that loss. Would you still love me if I was gay?

[Drew]

Wait, say that? I'm. I think I'm mishearing that sentence it again.

[Enya]

Would you still love me if I was gay?

[Drew]

Why do you keep saying like if, like if you were. Are you hearing him or am I tripping?

[Kai]

Yeah, it seems like he's confused.

[Drew]

Hey. Oh, yeah, he's not here. That's why. Hey, come on.

[Kai]

What's going on?

[Drew]

Come.

[Enya]

On.

[Drew]

We love you because you are gay. Huh?

[Enya]

Where am I?

[Drew]

You're at your house doing a. A podcast.

[Enya]

I have been studying, like, near death experiences a lot.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Enya]

And I want to experience that so bad.

[Drew]

Like, that is dramaticized.

[Enya]

I feel like everyone might be just lying a little bit to, like, sell a book, but, like, also all other experiences being so similar is so fascinating. And, like, I genuinely. But I also, like, have become attached to it because, like, when my brother died, it was so sudden and scary that, like, I needed something to, like, latch onto and it was just like, oh, like near death experiences. Like dmt. Like when you do dmt, it's a very similar trip experience too, when, like, people die for six minutes and they experience the world and everything all at once and like, all this. And I was just like, oh, that's like, really comforting to know that there is some form of afterlife, whether it's like, religious or spiritual or not. But yeah, I was just like, watching videos of people talk about near death experiences and it was like, blowing my mind because all these people, like, share the same experience. And I don't know, like, and this was like, long before the Internet where people could watch a video and then be like, I'm just going to regurgitate that, but add my own twist to it. And so it sounds like it's real, but it isn't. And I don't know, it's just. It was really cool to, like, just go on that deep dive and I'm like, oh, I need to experience a near death experience.

[Drew]

How do you make that happen without like, literally just putting yourself in danger.

[Enya]

You have to put yourself in danger. The risk versus reward.

[Drew]

That's a good way to look at life. Like, you have to put yourself in danger to see what life has to offer you. Well, are you going to do it or what?

[Enya]

Like, I'm going tonight.

[Drew]

Yeah, I think you should, like, make it happen.

[Enya]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Wait, do I have to be around or are you just going to, like.

[Enya]

Well, yeah, because you have to resuscitate me.

[Drew]

Oh, my God.

[Kai]

Then it wouldn't be near death. You'd need her to be, like, out.

[Enya]

No, no, it needs to be six minutes. That's the longest I can go. And to explore the afterlife. And then when I. I'll meet, like, a mere version, like, the enlightened version of myself that kind of looks like me, but has, like, a different haircut or something. And literally all he says to me is, like, no, you gotta go back. Like, it's not your time. And then I get sucked into my body through my belly button.

[Drew]

Is that what people describe?

[Enya]

Yeah.

[Drew]

An enlightened version of themselves?

[Enya]

Not like an enlightened version, but they, like. It's like the Underworld version.

[Drew]

Why'd you give yourself a different haircut?

[Enya]

Because it's a key.

[Drew]

Like, that's how you know.

[Enya]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Just for fun. And I had highlights and I had really nice nails on. Envisioning my enlightened version of like. Oh, I had, like, an eyelash perm and my hair was really long. I had a nice blowout that day. Yeah, that's my enlightened version.

[Kai]

So you like the gay version.

[Drew]

Okay.

[Enya]

Wow.

[Drew]

Okay, so that goes to answer his question. If you were gay, he wouldn't love you, apparently. No, there's the answer right there.

[Kai]

I'm saying because you're straight, and then you go. I'm helping you with your original statement that you're.

[Enya]

How about you pipe the down and stop coming for me and attacking my character.

[Drew]

Stop coming from my.

[Enya]

Stop coming on me, bro. Like, it's crazy.

[Drew]

Stop coming on.

[Enya]

Both of y' all are coming all over me right now and it's, like, scary.

[Drew]

No, it's coming for me. You don't say coming on me. You say coming for me. Oh, but I come for. Hey, I come for you all the time. You know that. We know that, though. You know that. Who are the freaks who are downloading Halo onto the kid? The computers at school. Because you always got to the computer and Halo was there. But who is the freak who took the time to fudgeing download it and I did know a kid who, like, that was his talent. He was like, watch this. Like, and he knew how to download it. And why was that, like, a flex? Because all of us were genuinely amazed. We couldn't believe it felt like he was hacking this.

[Enya]

Sakamoto. What is it? Yatoshi Namoshi.

[Kai]

Sakamoto?

[Enya]

Yeah. Natoshi Sakamoto.

[Kai]

Natoshi was that first Satoshi Nakamoto.

[Enya]

Yeah. Because it's like Samsung, Motorola, like, all of it.

[Kai]

Like, the guy that made bitcoin, like, anonymous figure, but you know his name.

[Enya]

Kai. Can you stop talking about bitcoin? You're scaring the hose, dude.

[Kai]

You brought it up. Simply can't win.

[Enya]

No. Yeah, that was always a vibe. But, like, y' all, I don't know if they're experiencing typing class the way we did right now.

[Drew]

No, there's no way.

[Enya]

Typing class was, like, lit. And then you would have, like, computer time, like, once a week for, like, 30 minutes or, like, in between periods or something, or a full period. And, like, you'd go in and you'd play, like, the most bunk games you've ever played in your life. But, like, I have vivid memories of them being, like, the best game. Like, I think there was one called, like, Cyber Chase or something. Cyber Chase. Pop Tropica.

[Drew]

Oh, my God.

[Enya]

Pop Tropica. There's one more, like, almost borderline mmo. But it wasn't really. But, like, those Pop Tropica and Cyber Chase were, like, the best games I've ever played in my life. And actually, I'm gonna start playing it again tonight.

[Drew]

Dude, wait. Actually, there was another one. My brother texted it to me literally, like, four days ago. Or I think. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I just accidentally started sharing my photos with that person. Did you ever play boombay?

[Enya]

No, but that art style is awesome.

[Drew]

Boom Bang was like, Pop Tropica. And it was so fun.

[Enya]

That's so. You know that little city that you always talk about that I was like, oh, I want to go there so bad that, like, you grew up, like, being a kid and experiencing, like, the workforce and, like, all that.

[Drew]

Oh, Wanna Do City.

[Enya]

Wanna Do City. They're building one in Fort Worth, Dallas. I think it's already open. But, like, you can go in and, like, be a fast food worker, but, like, you're actually getting to eat, like, the fast food that you make. Like, I think there's, like, a Pizza Hut in there or some like that. And you, like.

[Drew]

I loved Want To Do City. Wanna Do City was truly making children dream of labor. Like, it was amazing and I loved it. I loved every second.

[Enya]

It's a labor simulator for children, for sim for children. And like it's so bizarre. But also like that is fun as.

[Drew]

No, it was literally the most fun ever. Working at Publix at the ripe age of 7 years old, like I was really feeling my O. I couldn't believe that I was able to do that.

[Enya]

There I saw the most bizarre ad I've ever seen in my life.

[Drew]

Sorry guys, I've been.

[Enya]

Let me. This is going to be another cut because I'm out to find this or you can talk.

[Drew]

Well, oh, I will keep talking actually because isn't it so weird to think that the people watching this for the majority I feel like we have a large portion of our audience who is near our age. But we literally grew up in the generation that had computer class. We had computer room and computer class like that they were still such big contraptions and took up so much space and made no sense in our day to day life and kind of seemed useless to us for the most part that we literally were dedicating times to learning how to do it. And I think about it, I was not a like fast typer until I was like out of high school. Like I was always really slow at typing because I was just like why the fuck do I need to type? And then like nearing the end of high school I was like oh shit. Like, like you need to type out emails and everything that's ever going to happen in your life is going to happen on a computer now.

[Enya]

Yeah, I think like growing up we just didn't realize that like yeah, it was going to take over the world in the way it did. But like I still remember the first thing I bought on ebay and like I remember it was like so sketchy feeling like I thought I was like committing a crime and like I lowkey did because it was like blind robbery. Like this kid was selling his copy of Pokemon Stadium too and I got it for so cheap. And that's when I first found out like about how awful and terrible shipping was and how like you could buy something for 99 cents but it would be like $12 shipped. And it was just like it felt like a war crime actually. Yeah, that's the tea.

[Drew]

Well, did you find the.

[Enya]

No, I couldn't find the ad. But basically it was this ad of like it made me tear up. But it was like this family that was like kind of like you couldn't really understand the dynamic. And it was just this like really beautiful ad. Like, that had nothing to do with the brand at the end of it. And it was just so, so bizarre. It was, like, about, like, this daughter, like, calling this man in her life, like, by his name. And, like, her daughter, like, his. Whatever it is to him, like, was saying, like, not his real name. And then the why or the older woman, like, got married, and then, like, she called him dad by the end of the commercial. And it was just like a really cute, like, commercial. But then at the end, it was literally a Publix ad. And it was so bizarre that, like, it was just like big, beautiful, like, written out story. And then it just had the P logo at the end. Yeah, let's talk about Publix just being robbed by Beats.

[Drew]

By Dream for their logo. Yeah, I mean, I guess it's like, I don't think anybody's ever said that. And I think if you looked at those logos, you might find that they're very different.

[Enya]

No, the P is it just upside down P. They made, like, an awful modernized logo.

[Drew]

Oh, did Beats change their logo?

[Enya]

No, B is an upside down be.

[Drew]

Having Beats in high school and middle school made you a superstar. Like, they're trying to get that back, but you. Oh, it literally is. You literally cannot recreate the hype around Beats. It just won't happen again. Like, we don't have. We don't have ludicrous. To wear them in a music video and hold up a Beats pill with Nikki. Like, you just won't. It won't be a thing again.

[Enya]

I remember speaker sock. I remember I, like, ordered these, like, really special pair of Beats. They were like DJ beats. And they, like, had these, like, ears that spun back and, like, they weren't the big ones, though. And I ordered them from Japan. And, like, I was telling all my friends about it, and I was like, well, I'm getting the coolest pair of Beats headphones. Like, y' all have no idea. And like, I told them and they were like, oh, sick. And then they would ask me about it, like, months later, and I was like, I still haven't gotten them. And I looked like the kid that was like, oh, yeah, my best friend's like a doctor. Like, yeah, he's our age and he's a genius. Like, that type of vibe. But then they finally got there, and they were the greatest thing ever. And I was so swaggy. Like, it was crazy. Like, everybody. Yeah, they. They ended up showing up, but, like, months later, it was like I was pre ordering them or something. And, like, they Were a Japan only release. So like yeah, just took forever to get here. Like shipping on like freight trade or some shelf. I can know the word. The big boats, the big ass boats. But yeah, beats were like like a crucial time in our life segueing. I feel like. I don't know if this is a hot take, but I feel like people should start bragging more. Like I feel like we live in like an unbraggadocious culture and I love bragging. Like bring that back. Like talk about your and like be excited for each other. Like why the like, yeah, we are.

[Drew]

Really like doom generation vibes just like, yeah, my life freaking sucks and I'm such a loser. And like it's very confident less. But I guess I understand because now to see so many people all the time on your iPhone is just so unnatural. And I feel like that's what makes it so easy to be insecure. Like why is it a spectrum? You were either like a pretty insecure person, like wildly insecure or you are so braggadocious and delusional that literally you.

[Enya]

Live start a podcast called Emergency Intercom.

[Drew]

I love when someone's doing something so normal, but they talk about it like they're gonna change the world like every step of the way. Like it's literally just like. And I know what you might be thinking, this is crazy. But I just had to do it. Someone like me, when I get the thought, I just go for it and I never let anything stop me. When people talk about their life like that and it's a simple task. I can't believe it.

[Enya]

It's like bruh. It's like a one color puffy paint screen print on a Gildan like hoodie. Like you're not changing the world.

[Drew]

You are not serving Balenciaga now. It's just like random. And I. You were either. You're either end of that. And I do feel like we need to meet a middle grounds where people are able to brag about their life without sounding crazy. But then I guess maybe I'm the problem because why does someone with confidence sound crazy to me?

[Enya]

I'm the problem. It's me.

[Drew]

Hi.

[Kai]

You know that tick tock of it was like every song in the early 2000s versus now every pop song. I was like tonight we're gonna go.

[Enya]

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kai]

Other one's like I walked alone. And like it was like a like.

[Drew]

Sad ass song but covered in pop melodies.

[Kai]

In Opium, it was like like an acoustic like claro type song I guess is what they were Saying and then.

[Drew]

How did you just say that?

[Kai]

Clar. Claro.

[Drew]

Claro, claro, Claro, claro, claro. Sounds like a car insur. Insurance. Clara, you're weird. You're weird.

[Enya]

I have an if he's weird and you're like making do too and you're making fun of both of us. You're a villain.

[Kai]

But I feel like that's like a. A very much a sign of the. The generational, like divine. I feel like people in the early 2000s were like, let's get up. Like there's no. There's not a care for what we do.

[Enya]

I think they called it like recession pop or something like that. Like post recession prop pop. Cuz it was like, let's go out and get up and like life is so good and fun. Like, I mean literally that song, the Katy Perry song that got remixed bbop, Plug style or whatever, the gif.

[Drew]

It's like he keeps calling plug gmb every other letter of the Alphabet.

[Kai]

Gif Plug.

[Enya]

Yeah, but yeah, and now it's like, I'm gonna kill myself and I'm gonna cut my wrists and I'm gonna do bad things to other people and do opium. Like, I love heroin.

[Drew]

Why does it kind of just sound like your inner monologue? Because I haven't heard that song.

[Kai]

Yeah, I was thinking just more of like a. Like a gentle acoustic song. But that sounds cool.

[Drew]

Are you trying to say something? Do you need help? Yeah, my mic keeps falling. By the way.

[Enya]

I fully understand. And then that's also something that I was thinking about. Like, obviously we've had the discussion about how we don't own the music we buy anymore. Like we're renting everything, even like the shows. And it kind of freaks me out a little bit because it's like, like, where is that money going? Like, I don't. When the server shut down, like I wasted 10 grand on Spotify and Netflix ads. Like paying for it. Like, whatever. I was thinking about it and like this dude started the conversation and he was like, why the. Like, think about like best new artists this year. Like, who is going to be the best new artist this year? Like it. The music has become oversaturated, which I think is a good thing. Like, I'm like, yeah, make your music be creative. But like, like, there's no one out, like right now that's like best new artist. And it was like something like 70 of people right now are listening to old music and like 25. Like, I don't. I don't know the exact Statistics. But it was. It was like, basically everyone is listening to old music. No one's listening to new music. And, like, the top 100 chart, like, streams on Spotify, like, only accounted for, like, 5% of, like, the streams for 2023, which is, like, really crazy because, like, music released in 2022, 2023, like, no one gives a about anymore. And, like, it was just, like, crazy, like, to think about. And I was like, damn.

[Kai]

Like, there's no. I guess there are movies start. Like, I guess Timothy Chalamet is the closest thing. But I. I watched, like, Fight Club recently. I was like, oh, Brad Pitt was like a. The big rule number one. Oh, yeah.

[Enya]

We don't talk about fighting.

[Drew]

Never seen that movie.

[Enya]

You're missing out. It's actually good, like, beyond just, like, jaw lines and mewing.

[Drew]

Everybody's obsessed with that movie. But I wish they stared at the poster a little longer and then took notes and started to use soap because you stink.

[Enya]

Oh, that's good. Gym cells. Gym cells are, like, literally even more loser freaks than, like, the awkward people. But keep going.

[Drew]

Oh, my God.

[Kai]

Oh, there's just like. There's not really movie stars, like, like, is it? I think Timothy Chalamet is kind of the one. The one that I would say is, like, the new movie star.

[Enya]

Yeah. Is it because of social media? Like, literally everyone's so excessive, accessible that it's like, literally, it's so over. Like, I forget what the word is, but I use it all the time where it's like, I don't like or not me, but, like, people have been putting so much of themselves out. Girl, the world is.

[Drew]

The fighter jets are coming.

[Enya]

Literally. What the hell? But people are putting so much of themselves out out here that, like, they, like, spread. They, like, put their image out there so much that, like, you can get it all in one go and then move on to the next person. Like, yeah, what is that word I've been using?

[Drew]

I can't think of it.

[Enya]

It's like, over. Saturating themselves or something like that. Like, just like, you can just access it all at once.

[Drew]

Yeah. Because there used to be. You have to wait for pictures of the. These people. You had to, like, you didn't know what they were up to at all. You didn't know what. There was no 24 hours with Meryl Streep, like, for on Vogue. Like, you didn't see what she got up to in her day. And now there's so much of that also. There's just such a wide range of like fame. Now you can be on like a micro niche level or you could be Timothy Chalamet. And because of that, everybody can pick the. Because I feel like with fame culture, there was always this. It was always demonized in a way.

[Enya]

Timothy, like hanging out or. I forgot we're doing the.

[Drew]

Yeah, you're not supposed to. Like.

[Enya]

I shouldn't talk about that.

[Drew]

I know. You just get so real when you talk to me that you forget. Okay, dude. Okay, the camera, like, stop. Because it's gonna be hard to cut that.

[Enya]

But demonized, yeah.

[Drew]

Like, celebrity culture used to be so demonized in terms of people who fixated on it and consumed it. And I do think to a certain extent it is still very evil because, like, the media is scary in terms of what they do to other people's mental health. And like. But that's another conversation about, like, whatever.

[Enya]

The hurricane rule number one or example number one, that was a money making machine. Everyone that was afraid of it watch the news and listen to the news. And I don't blame you because I did the same thing. And it was only good to make this hurricane seem bad. It profited everyone the news because you tuning in all the tick tockers on the live streams, like, all of the tick tockers making tick tock about it. Literally the grocery stores.

[Drew]

I didn't fall for it because I'm from Miami and I'm not scared of a tropical storm. And you're a little sorry. Oh, my God. Wow. Oh, yeah.

[Enya]

I wanted the devastation.

[Drew]

I know. I wanted chaos.

[Enya]

I wanted the world happen.

[Drew]

Like, I wanted to see buildings crumble. But, like, watching and partaking in celebrity culture used to be so demonized, but now it is. Is such a normal. Like, nobody questions the fact that people know exactly what every celebrity is up to. And all the gossip. I feel like it used to be a big thing where it's like, you're such a fucking loser. Why do you give a about them? They don't give a fuck about you. Like, just watch their movies and keep it pushing. And people who tapped into, like, magazine culture and all that, like, it was demonized and seen as, like, gossipy. And now it's not that way anymore because there's also such a big spectrum. You could either be on that side of it or you could be a way lesser severity where there's just somebody who you watch on your iPhone. You're like, I with this person. If I saw them, I wouldn't freak out. I would just be like, oh, my God. Hey. Like, yeah, I like, hear your voice all the time. That's cool. So now because there's such a huge spectrum, like, there's not such polar opposites of like, you're either a huge fan or you're not a fan at all. Now it's like, oh, no. I just. There's a few people who I like to watch.

[Enya]

Dude. And it's like so weird that like, everyone knows that I have a giant penis. Like, and it's just like this big story and because all these tabloids and media outlets are like, I don't think.

[Drew]

You'Ve ever had a single tabloid written about you.

[Enya]

So it's so up that I have like this giant penis and everyone knows about it. And like, they shouldn't know that when I twerk, my ass claps. But like, they do. Like, I'll just be like twerking in the club, having fun with Drake and.

[Drew]

You'Ll just be twerking in the.

[Enya]

Someone will like take a video of it and like post it online. And it's just like, I can't be my myself.

[Drew]

Do you have that video? And is there sound?

[Enya]

Oh no, there's no sound in the video. I had it dmca. So it's like deleted everywhere.

[Drew]

Okay.

[Enya]

Yeah, I don't even have it.

[Drew]

When's the next time you're going to go out, do you think?

[Enya]

Probably tomorrow or something. Yeah.

[Drew]

Can I get like on the. Is there like a list or is it like, can I just pull up?

[Enya]

We'll see. We'll see. Because it's like a big event when I start twerking and like, like, okay.

[Drew]

Yeah, I don't want to. That's not that. Like you're misreading the situation. Cuz that's not why I want to go. I don't want to go cuz I don't want to see. I always just said something so nasty and I'm going to move on.

[Enya]

Let's talk about direct energy weapons.

[Drew]

Oh my God, no, please, no, no, that's.

[Enya]

That's one thing that I don't believe in. That's the one thing I don't believe in.

[Drew]

Like, even Kai doesn't know what that is. We can't get into this.

[Enya]

It's big ass lasers that are fired down to like, cause devastation. Fire down like rain down upon the earth does.

[Drew]

What do you get up to on that phone? I'm not kidding. You need to start going leaving the house. Like, we need to host an intervention for Drew because he wakes up at 5:30am and sits in his bed on his iPhone. And then by 2pm he hobbles out here, and he's like, oh, dude, I don't feel good. And then throws himself on the couch. And he's like, should we go eat? And I'm like, yeah, let's go eat. And he's like. Like, I don't want to get in the car. I'll just think about it. And then goes back to his room and continues to use his phone for an extra four hours. And then it's 6pm and he's like, I'm gonna order so much food so that I have food for tomorrow. And then he does that, and then has, like, four bites, is like, oh, my stomach hurts. And then he saves the food, and then at 2am he eats all of it while it's cold. And then he goes to sleep, and he wakes up at 5 again.

[Enya]

Well, because I don't. Eating right now is really hard for me because I literally go to sleep right after I eat. It's really bizarre. It's so scary. So I'm like. Like, if I eat now, I'm gonna go to sleep.

[Drew]

And it sucks to see a specialist, because that is not normal. Food is supposed to give you energy.

[Enya]

Like, and y' all are some.

[Drew]

Wow. Okay. Wow.

[Enya]

So leave me the alone.

[Kai]

Wait, Drew, what do you think?

[Drew]

Let's see your screen time.

[Kai]

Oh, yeah, let's.

[Drew]

Come on, come on, come on, come on, please.

[Kai]

24 hours.

[Drew]

The most I've ever seen. It was. It was literally, like, 16, 17 hours.

[Enya]

Sixteen and a half hours. It was when I was back in Texas, and there was.

[Kai]

Right when you stopped sleeping.

[Enya]

No, no, literally in it. There was even a spike in the middle of the night for two hours. It was so crazy. It was all day. And I remember the day because I was like, I'm going for a world record right now.

[Drew]

This is so. Like, he literally, like, he got a. Like, 7 hours and 30 minutes of sleep, woke up, opened his iPhone, and then was on it until the moment he went back to sleep.

[Enya]

Like, so we can't air this out because, like, people can't know how much I'm on my phone because.

[Drew]

Why not?

[Enya]

Because I don't text people back and they will know. But also, I'm like, everyone does that. Like, that's.

[Drew]

Yeah, that's normal. Can we normalize not texting people back all the time. Can we normalize not constant communication with each other? Leave me the alone. I'll see you when I see you. Damn, that actually pisses me off. I'M not kidding. Like people who are like, why don't you text me back? Like, you don't have other contacts on your iPhone. Like, you just want to play an imessage game or something. Like, go download an app. Why are we talking? What are we talking about?

[Kai]

Dude, I feel that too. I have. I feel like I have so much pressure and I'll like mark everything to respond to it. I'm like, what am I doing? This is just like someone saying what?

[Drew]

This isn't an email.

[Kai]

What is that?

[Enya]

My average is 33 minute.

[Drew]

Oh, no, that was today. Come on. Actually, there's no way that was today, cuz you've definitely been up since like.

[Kai]

6:00Am Your average is 33 minutes.

[Enya]

Yeah, look, it's literally right here, y' all.

[Drew]

Let me see. I need. I like Drew. I'm not kidding. I need to know what your screen time is. I bet mine is bad right now too, cuz I've been on like, there's no. Oh, that was a. Oh, that was A screenshot from March 14, 2021.

[Enya]

Oh, wow.

[Drew]

Why do you have that? Did you look up up screen time?

[Enya]

I looked up 45 minute screen time screenshot. For some reason, I think I turned it off because it was scaring me, but it's not loading. Look.

[Drew]

No, no, no, no. Give me that.

[Enya]

It's literally not loading.

[Drew]

Wait, let me see.

[Enya]

No, I don't want you to go through my phone. Oh, there we go.

[Drew]

Oh, no, no. Get to weed week. That's today. Okay, scroll. You are so annoying right now. I'm gonna freak out. Okay, okay. You're not the worst. It's like looking like nine hours.

[Enya]

No, you over exaggerated.

[Drew]

I had one that was in 43 minutes and then one that was nine.

[Enya]

Hours and then one that was eight and then one that was seven. So it's actually eight hours a day, not nine. So let's get one thing street.

[Drew]

I mean, I'm not much better than you. Damn. And when I was in Portugal, my shit was too lit. When I was in Portugal, in Europe, I literally. My average was two hours a day.

[Kai]

Oh, damn, that's good.

[Drew]

And then it bumped up to, oh, wait, it went up 153% because I went to six hours a day, seven hours and 50 minutes. And then my average last week was five hours a day. So I'm better than you in a lot of ways. That's what you. You know, that's the fun thing about screen time is you use it as a tool to feel.

[Enya]

Oh, okay. So Kai Is better than you. And. Yeah, how does that mean?

[Drew]

He has to be on that laptop like a little workhorse, so it's different.

[Kai]

That's an art. Honestly, how you flipped that?

[Enya]

Yeah, let's talk about it.

[Kai]

Oh, by the way, guys, mine was three hours and 30 minutes.

[Enya]

Yeah, it's lower.

[Drew]

He only showed us one week, though.

[Kai]

So I don't have to show you.

[Drew]

Exactly.

[Enya]

Let's talk about how I literally predicted this hurricane.

[Drew]

Oh, my God.

[Enya]

Let's talk about it. Did I not say for the last two episodes before this, something big is company, and it's gonna happen to la Every episode. And let's just say it again. Something big is gonna happen next week. I don't know if it's gonna be an earthquake, if it's gonna be a tsunami. Like, it's gonna be something gnarly, though. Like, I've been saying.

[Drew]

Why? Why is that the thing you want to lay claim to is, like, complete?

[Enya]

Because I can predict the future. I have, like. Like, almost like a female's intuition. Like, I know a lot of things, actually. It goes beyond. I've gotten an enlightened intuition. Like, it goes beyond. Like, I pull my thoughts from this cloud, the stream of consciousness that, like.

[Drew]

Like, this is not a normal person. There's no way this is a normal person. I subconsciously have been asking for help for Drew's mental state, because every time someone asks about him, I'm like, he is going down a. A crazy one, right?

[Enya]

No, it's not Goof in a gaff. I'm not like this in real life.

[Drew]

I'm gonna start gaslighting you into thinking that you're going crazy. Than you actually go crazy and just be like, dude, you're literally scaring me. I don't know. We shouldn't talk about this. And I'll say that to you every day for, like, five weeks and see what happens.

[Kai]

Do you believe in remote viewing?

[Enya]

What is that?

[Kai]

You don't know what remote viewing is?

[Enya]

Is it like someone tapping into your computer and watching you?

[Kai]

No. Remote viewing is, like, this thing that, like, psychic people can do, and they.

[Enya]

Oh, I can do that.

[Kai]

They can put their consciousness, like, in any part of the verse.

[Enya]

I can do that. Yeah, I can put that. Mine. I can put mine in other people's heads, too.

[Kai]

You don't know about the CIA. Like, it, like, came out this. The CIA was like, oh, is it.

[Enya]

Like the people that, like, were weird on Tick Tock where they were like, I'm gonna go into a different dimension, and they like, close their eyes and they, like, wake up and they're like, I just experienced, like, a world. Okay. I've seen that on Tick Tock. But it's called something else. They. Oh, shifting. They called it shifting. Okay, but. Yeah, I know. Shifting, but I don't know. Remote viewing.

[Kai]

I watched a video on it. Since, like, the 70s, the CIA has been, like, hiring these people. And one guy was like, dude, we.

[Drew]

Have too much free will as humans.

[Kai]

One guy was like, jupiter has rings, or. Yeah, Jupiter has rings. And we didn't. And we didn't know that until recently.

[Enya]

So is t. I feel like Jupiter.

[Drew]

Has always had rings.

[Kai]

I think it's Saturn. Saturn definitively had rings. But then.

[Drew]

Oh, yeah, right, right, it did.

[Enya]

Y' all see that picture of Saturn's rings where they, like, got up and close and, like, you think they're, like this thin ring made of sand, but, like, it's actually, like, asteroids the size of Mount Everest creating, like, these mountains in the rings that are, like three Earths tall and they're super.

[Drew]

I don't want to even think about that much. I saw, but me not knowing the difference between Jupiter and Saturn just now reminded me of a comment I saw that was like, we need to see Enya go against science. Like, like, the battle of me knowing nothing, like, against science. Right. You know what's funny is I feel like recently people have been like, damn. And you really doesn't know. But I've been saying that y' all just aren't listening to me. From the beginning, from the very beginning, I was like, emotional intelligence. Got it. Good. Awesome. Take out the emotional. What?

[Enya]

Take out their emo.

[Drew]

I want to pull your hair.

[Enya]

Take out the emotion.

[Drew]

Oh. I got to a point last night where I was really wanting to pull people's hair. Oh, I don't know. Something's wrong with me. It's my. I'm just healing my inner child. What's so bad about that? You know?

[Enya]

Yeah, but why do you want to pull people's hair?

[Drew]

Because you know how, like, as a kid, when you would, like, like, be upset or feel something and you didn't know how to express it, so you pulled someone's hair. I still want to do that.

[Enya]

I mean, the whole Yaga trend was just healing other people's inner childs.

[Drew]

Yeah. Oh, my God. Wow. Subconsciously. Oh, my God. We went down the craziest rabbit hole and we want to film us doing it.

[Enya]

Yeah. We're gonna make a video.

[Drew]

So scared. I have never thought, like, sat and thought about the fact that there are right wing IG baddies, like, there are girls extremists who are, like, serving like, ass, tiny waist, big boobs.

[Enya]

But it's for a chomp bikini.

[Drew]

Yeah, it's like in a Donald Trump bikini. Waving a Donald Trump flag in a cornfield.

[Enya]

He's going to jail.

[Drew]

I know.

[Enya]

Like, he literally is going to jail. His bail is set at $200,000.

[Drew]

What? He has that, though?

[Enya]

Yeah, he'll get out immediately.

[Drew]

So he's not.

[Enya]

But he's going to jail. Like, he's turning himself in. He's going to Atlanta to turn himself in.

[Drew]

Wait, but if you bail yourself out. Oh, that's just so you don't have to sit there till trial. Oh, my God. Wow.

[Enya]

It's crazy. It's crazy.

[Drew]

Should we start the documentary right now about it so that we make a bunch of money and profit off of it? Because somebody's doing that?

[Kai]

I don't think I knew that you knew that. I didn't know that. The bail thing. I thought bail. You just were. You didn't have to go.

[Drew]

Oh, how the tables turn, Mr. Stupid.

[Kai]

I think. I think you need give yourself more credit.

[Enya]

Yeah, I agree.

[Kai]

I genuinely was like, holy.

[Enya]

It's a defense mechanism.

[Drew]

Yeah. I just like, because I'm a girl, I have to protect myself and be done.

[Enya]

It's all these internalized misogynists, like, attacking my girl for her intelligence, but they really see a lot of themsel in her and it's an insecure thing. And they're not listening. They're not hearing you when you say it, but it's because they refuse to hear a woman. And I think that is fucked up.

[Drew]

Misandry this, misogyny that. What you need to do is come over here and massage this pussy.

[Enya]

Oh, nice.

[Drew]

That was good. That was really good, guys. I feel like anybody who was watching my face while you were talking just now saw my brain make that up. And I was like, doing my best to wait until you stop talking and it happened. Also, somebody commented, why did I think? On a picture of me as a baby, somebody commented, why did I think. And you grew up in a house with no toys and holes in the wall, which is like, crazy.

[Enya]

No dirt floor. Like a dirt floor.

[Drew]

Like the craziest thing I've ever seen someone say. But no, actually, my family had an awesome amount of money for literally the first like, four years of my life. So I had nice things, and then it all crumbled under my feet. And then I knew what it was like to live happily and then at a very young age, have it all taken away from you and know the fraudulence that is life and how gimmicky it is and how easily it fluctuates. And one day you could be the happiest you've ever been and have no problems. And then the next day you're seven years old and you're already thinking about wanting to kill yourself and telling your parents that if you had to live in this situation forever, you think you'd kill yourself. So then your parents tell you that killing yourself is illegal. So then until you're like 12, you think killing yourself is illegal. So you try to stop thinking buried.

[Enya]

Under the jail, baby.

[Drew]

You try really hard. No, you know what's crazy is I imagine myself dead in a cell with, like, chain on. With the chain on and handcuffs. And I was like, oh, my God, that's so scary. I don't want that to be where my body rots. So you try really hard to push off those thoughts until you're 12 and you get access to the Internet and you learn it's not illegal. And you can keep thinking about it.

[Enya]

It. That's really, really dark. Like, what I was thinking about was, like, me twerking and like, the whole time you were talking, twerking in the rain. Hey, but, hey, we do this thing where we deep dive. Or I do this thing where I deep dive on Tik Tok. And it's like, it's a. It's a skilled craft. Like, it's something I've honed over the last year, a few years. But, like, you start on one video, you go to the sound, you scroll down until, like, it's the most random person you've ever seen. You go to their account and then you see how weird they are. And then you go to their sounds, and then, like, you click on that sound, you find another person, then you go to their comments and you see these weirdos, like, commenting on their videos, and then you go to their pages and you're just in this, like, really crazy deep dive that, like, is. It's uncontrollable. And you find the most bizarre people ever. But it's so fun to airplay it to the TV and sit with your friends and just like, make jokes about the whole thing. Because, like, you end up finding like, like, me, if I didn't have a podcast or like an online platform, like making tick tocks, like, it would. It's crazy. It's really, really bizarre.

[Drew]

The best one is this one. I'm not kidding. When I saw this I almost pissed myself. This was her pinned tik tok. It had 11000 likes and she was replying to every single comment.

[Enya]

Basically all of them. And she ate us up. Let's damn whole page was like that.

[Kai]

She slowed it down like 700%.

[Drew]

Like damn dude, she's too fucking awesome. Like she is like what's insane is she is genuinely living her life right now. She probably lives I'm gonna say like on the like mid east side of yeah. Like she does not live close to us by any means. Her day is like not over but it's like kind of coming to an end. She's like okay, I get to clock out soon. Like I get to go home, make my tick tocks like have like my dinner, have my snack. She probably has to pick up her kids. Like she genuinely has a whole life and all we know of her is that snippet where she was feeling the out of herself and hating gay people at the same time. Because that's also a crazy combo is to be feeling yourself and like, like.

[Enya]

Just be like like yeah.

[Drew]

Serving to the camera and spreading hate like that.

[Enya]

Spreading hate.

[Drew]

We need to change the last three. Okay, here's my take.

[Enya]

Really enthralled in this picture of Luna and Meline and Steven. She's so. Cuz she's on her first flight. My family is coming out here. She's.

[Drew]

Oh my God, that's so exciting. I can't wait to.

[Enya]

And she's sleeping here.

[Drew]

So everybody loves to spread hate, but we need to work together to change the last three letters or the second to last letter and the second letter and hate. And then we will be happy spreading whole. So we need to switch the A with an O and the T with an L which should be super easy because if you write out spread hey and you erase the little foot on the A and you erase the little arms on the table spread whole.

[Enya]

Yeah, I just don't associate with the Alphabet mafia like all that.

[Drew]

God, what is that?

[Enya]

What is that the L by GP2 or something? Chad. GP2. Okay, so I doubt you did it and I will eat my words if you did. But I asked India to write down things that she's super lazy. Like what's the laziest thing she's ever done?

[Drew]

You know what's so annoying is maybe this is question of my lack of self awareness. But I don't think I have gross lazy things. I do. But it has to do more with my like my like germaphobic tendencies that I don't have like anything that's super lazy. I think my laziest thing I do is I stall on changing the litter box. Like Aul's litter box. Like I definitely should change it more often, but it's never super, super nasty.

[Enya]

The laziest thing you do is that lip mask mask that you put on and you wipe it off with a paper towel, then you throw it in the toilet and it looks like an aborted fetus.

[Drew]

No, I throw it in the toilet not out of laziness, but one, it's fun because it spreads and I like to see the ink spread.

[Enya]

No.

[Drew]

And then two, I don't want to put it in the trash can because I don't want people who come over to look into the trash can.

[Enya]

No, I mean like you don't flush it.

[Drew]

Oh well, I don't flush it because like that's also like how when I. Before I go to sleep, when I pee a bunch, like, but I'm not actually peeing. My brain is just, just scared that I'm gonna piss in my sleep if I see a toilet. So I'll go to the bathroom and then like I didn't really pee and then I don't want to flush it even if I put a napkin in there because I'm like, I didn't actually pee. I don't want to waste water tea. So literally you're calling me lazy, but.

[Enya]

I'm innovating my lazy things that I do obviously, like Uber eats, like almost every meal. Like literally cook a meal challenge. I wash my laundry, but instead of putting them on hangers, I let them sit on the floor of my closet for a month and then take them out from that pile. And then it gets so bad that I'm like putting my dirty clothes in that pile and I don't know if a shirt is clean or dirty and I wear it anyways because it's not that deep. And I'm sure this one is universal. I'm sure. Kai, you've probably done this before. It's like, like no, it's, it's an everyone thing. But when I take a massive log dump and I know it's shower day cuz I shower like once every four or five days. I won't wipe my ass cuz I'm just like, oh, I'll be showering in seven or eight.

[Drew]

Yeah, you're doing what I do in my other scenarios, but except really gross. Cuz where are you going with this?

[Enya]

Yes.

[Kai]

So you don't. You don't wipe and then you just.

[Enya]

Go into the shower on shower days? No, no, I, I, it's like I normally shower at like nighttime. So it's like seven or eight hours between, between like turd and do you.

[Kai]

Have a removable head of the shower?

[Drew]

No. Well, he does a handstand.

[Kai]

I do that, but I'll just absolutely blast my with the removable head on my legs up.

[Drew]

Literally. Just stop. Because I just like thought about literally.

[Enya]

Getting cunnilingus from his shower head.

[Drew]

I thought about the like dingleberries that would be shot off like when you clean like a long haired dog's butt after they poop and it really grows grossed me out.

[Enya]

Well, this is by far the worst one in 2022. I had a day where I only walked 74 steps the entire day.

[Drew]

I don't know, what are your steps looking like nowadays?

[Enya]

They're, they're actually healthy. They're not like crazy.

[Drew]

What's healthy? Like 400?

[Enya]

No, like in the thousands.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Enya]

Where's this photo? Because I have a screenshot of it.

[Drew]

But I'm really trying to think. Yeah, I couldn't think of anything I do that's lazy one because I lack self awareness. But I guess I have a chair in my room that I will go into my room and pile clothes onto it. And right now I have like a bunch of clothes sitting on it and I just refuse to fold it for some reason. But I'll probably do it after this because today I was trying to find something in that pile and I couldn't get to it. But like I'm like, like my like lazy things I do aren't like gross, they're just lazy. Like when I switch out my CDs in my room, I never put it back in the case. Like I'll just stack them all up and then I'm like, oh, I don't want to scratch these. And then I have to sit there and put 30 CDs back in the case.

[Enya]

When I just thought of is when like I'm watching TikToks with you on the couch. Like instead of like leaning over and reaching over and showing you it on my phone, I'll just text it to you. And like that's how we communicate via Tik toks on the couch.

[Drew]

Sometimes a lazy thing I do is I'll call you if I'm across the house. Like if I'm laying in bed and I want to say something to you. Like I think I did it yesterday. I called you I was like, want to go get food? And you're like, yeah. I was like, okay, I'll meet you. Let's be ready.

[Enya]

And, like, that's just the way it is.

[Drew]

That's just the way your face looks.

[Enya]

Oh, wow.

[Drew]

Wait.

[Enya]

That's just the way it is.

[Drew]

Are you, like. Why are you saying, oh, wow? Did you see something on your phone or are you, like, listening to yourself off?

[Enya]

That's just the way it is.

[Drew]

Ew, stop. Dude, your face is really scaring me right now.

[Enya]

That was actually so good. I didn't know I could sing.

[Kai]

Your pitch is perfect.

[Enya]

Yeah, I didn't know I could, actually.

[Drew]

We should make a movie about that. Like, it's. We could just call it, like, Pitch Perfect or something.

[Enya]

No, there. There's already a movie called Pitch Perfect.

[Drew]

No, but.

[Enya]

Well, I'm trying.

[Drew]

A couple more things are. I need to see your steps. I'm sorry, what are yours?

[Kai]

I mean, it doesn't matter. I guess. This is my monthly, like, 10k.

[Enya]

I averaged 3k a week.

[Drew]

Your monthly is 10k.

[Enya]

4.5K. That was camping week.

[Drew]

Your monthly average is 10k. Oh, well, you were. No, there's no way your monthly average. Sorry to interrupt you, but your monthly average is not 10k.

[Kai]

Okay?

[Drew]

You don't even live in a walking six month.

[Enya]

This actually had, like, a. He shakes his phone. He sits at his desk, shaking his phone to track.

[Drew]

I'm, like, really, really confused as to how yours is that high.

[Enya]

Mine's 5.3k for your monthly average. Yeah.

[Drew]

Wait, what's happening? Because why is mine lower? Guys sound like it's seriously wrong.

[Enya]

You're lazy.

[Kai]

Bone crazy.

[Drew]

No, I'm just, like, proficient, and I actually walk fast and Because y' all are. Because y' all are so busy swinging your hips and trying to call the attention of other men, you guys are, like, swaying and, like, take your time so you take more steps.

[Kai]

That's true.

[Enya]

Or it's because. Never mind. Never mind. I'll. I'll chill. I'll chill. I'll chill. I'll be chill, guys. I'll be chill.

[Kai]

No, it is crazy living in LA like, you. You can easily hit it max, 600 steps.

[Enya]

Yeah. If you're not.

[Kai]

If you're not, like, actively, like, Okay, I have to do something because.

[Enya]

Where the. Are you gonna walk here?

[Kai]

Yeah. You walk to your car, and then you walk from your car to the.

[Enya]

Place, and then you walk from the.

[Kai]

Place to your car to the Equinox Sauna.

[Enya]

Exactly. Directly in there.

[Drew]

I'm sitting Here being like, oh, my God, why are my steps so low? As if I didn't spend three weeks sitting plateaued at a beach. Like, and then like, guys, I need to walk. Like, I walk so much. But if I can lay and sit.

[Enya]

I will sit and lay piggybacking off of that. I just found out Jane lynch and Jamie Lee Curtis are different people. And it was from a picture.

[Drew]

Wait, show me them side by side, because this is actually about to freak me out. Because was Jane lynch the one from Glee and Jamie Lee Curtis. Jamie Lee Curtis is literally the nice version. She's like the good version. And Jane lynch is the evil version. That's though. No, those are the same people. Stop playing.

[Enya]

No, that's what I'm saying. Different people.

[Drew]

Whoa. Well, do you have any Psy Up Corner for us or.

[Enya]

Yeah, we'll tap into Psy Up Corner. Welcome to Drew Psyop Corner. Girls be like, the vibes are so bad today, while the whole time they're just malnourished.

[Drew]

That's literally us for the past three days.

[Enya]

I know. Be talking about, man, I was born in the wrong generation, bro. We got iPhones, Uber Eats, and Zaza. What the hell are you talking about?

[Drew]

For real, if you.

[Enya]

Oh, this is a good one. If you die on your period, do they take your pad off?

[Drew]

That is so gross. Wait, yeah, when they're like, embalming you, do they gotta dig up in there and, like, get the rest of the period out or do they just let it rotate?

[Enya]

I don't know.

[Drew]

Ew, dude, that's like, really sad to think about.

[Enya]

Also, this one is someone digging in.

[Drew]

My coochie for my blood.

[Enya]

Stop saying words like Reddit and discord around pretty people. It's actually so scary.

[Kai]

I don't understand.

[Enya]

Like, you're scaring me.

[Kai]

Why that's for me, though.

[Enya]

Like, what if you stank in the cold? You're a dangerous. It's always 333 this. 444 that. I need my 888. That one was submitted really good. That one was actually submitted from E. The email. Someone emailed it to me.

[Drew]

Really?

[Enya]

Yeah, I. Hold on. Actually, let me look that up. This was submitted by Aisha via.

[Drew]

I'm, like, laughing at you like, I can't read any name on the planet.

[Enya]

Yeah, but yeah, those are them. That's all I got. Hello. Oh, we're doing media.

[Drew]

I bounce on her a merge.

[Enya]

Oh, what is it?

[Drew]

What was it?

[Enya]

Oh, I don't remember what it was or. Yeah, you Sent it to the group chat with Kai.

[Drew]

She emerging on my insert to, like.

[Enya]

Calm that they ate with that.

[Drew]

That's so good.

[Enya]

We got to insert that.

[Drew]

Funny is like shout out. That means absolutely nothing. Like, she emerging on my inter. Like, that doesn't mean anything. And if you said it to a pilgrim or anybody at the beginning of the English language, even when like. Like saying coming was a normal thing, they'd be like, okay, but what does the beginning of that but say?

[Enya]

Someone that lost their job in the 2008 recession and they would explode. They would have no idea what we're talking about. But let's tap into some media, shall we? Media boots. Should we tap into the media boots? Okay, we went and saw come in or take. It's Take my hand. It's literally take my hand.

[Drew]

Talk to me.

[Enya]

No, it's fucking take my hand.

[Drew]

No, it's talk to me.

[Enya]

I. I genuinely think you're trolling me right now.

[Drew]

It's fucking talk to me. Why the fuck would it be take my hand?

[Enya]

Because they're holding the fucking hand the whole time.

[Drew]

Oh, my God. But they say talk to me in the movie. Yeah. Your silence is deafening, my queen. You fucking stupid bitch. Drew doesn't know the name of this fucking movie. The second he learned the name of this movie, he said it wrong. Every single time he mentioned it to him, us, he would say, take my hand. Take the hand. Talk to the hand. Talking to the hand. Taking the hand. Like, he kept saying it wrong. And then when we got out of the movie theater, he called Zamar. He's like, dude, I just saw Talk to me and, like, yelled it in the. The. Or I just watched Take My hand in the theater, and everybody was like, wait, what? And then also while we were watching the previews, the trailer for Dude, Drew's losing his mind, the trailer for Priscilla came on, and he seriously, out loud, loud as looked at the screen and goes, wait, is Joaquin Phoenix playing the Joker right now? And me and Josh were so confused.

[Enya]

Because I thought that was Joaquin Phoenix playing Elvis, but I misspoke. But the take my hand. Call my. Call me by your name. Like, that is literally all. Like, that's a psyop in itself. Like, it's. When I first saw it, I think that's a Mandela effect, because it's always been take my hand. Hand always. If it's not, then they fumbled and it should have been the movie title because, like, talk to me. Come on now. But that movie was lit, like, beyond all of this. Like, that was like, the first scary movie I've seen in a very long time that I was like, damn, this is lit. And it was made by YouTubers and they pre recorded the prequel and sequel to that movie. So they recorded three movies at once. And that movie.

[Drew]

Talk about confidence, huh?

[Enya]

Yeah, exactly. And fun fact, that movie had the best opening weekend since hereditary for a 24, which is lit boots. And it's a couple of YouTubers. I'm like, that shit's hella inspiring. Like, I'm gonna do that. Like, every time I watch a scary movie, I'm like, oh. Like, they should have did this. Or like, why didn't they do that? Or they should have made it gory. Or they should have made it less gory. Like, why do they do all that? I'm gonna write a scary movie, and it's going to be a masterpiece, and it's going to be produced by emergency intercom, and we're going to start a production house. That's a. I'm stealing all of the emergency intercom money.

[Drew]

You're not those.

[Enya]

We have, what, like, $18 million saved up? I could make a easy movie on that.

[Drew]

Yeah, I mean, you don't need to use the whole 18 million. You could do it, like, with like, two.

[Enya]

Oh, wait, all we have is 18 million?

[Drew]

Yeah, you. I mean, you just said that. Why are you now shocked?

[Enya]

Like, No, I was saying, do we have that? Because I'm going to take that. Do we have. Have. We don't have more than 18 million. I thought we had, like, 35, dude.

[Drew]

Who do you think we are? No, we only have.

[Enya]

We're Emergency intercom, babe. We make a million dollars an episode.

[Drew]

The thing is, there's somebody out there who's gonna hear that and be like, I know they do. I know they do. Bring Me Back by Jeff Cowell. All I have to Do Is Dream by the Everly Brothers on Earth by the Sundays. Ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies. By Fiona Apple. And I think of you by Rodriguez, which I think I said last week. Speak. I'm about to shoot poop out of my butt.

[Enya]

Mr. Beast is a freemason.

[Drew]

Wait, you need to screenshot your. Your photos. I came back home the other day, and I was showing Drew, like, a video I took. And then he was like, oh, let me show you this thing I took. And his photos on his iPhone were crazy. It was only screenshots of, like, Illuminati stuff. And like. Like, there was no pictures of humans we knew or himself.

[Enya]

Himself.

[Drew]

Like, it literally looked insane. Pictures of a Zoo videos that started with, like, just, like, a brown screen. Like, he was moving it around the house. Like, it was really weird.

[Kai]

No way, dude.

[Drew]

This is so sad. Like, that's deeply sad.

[Enya]

Pokemon Go screenshots. It's my cart for pandemic prep in the top there. And it's even worse the further you scroll up. There's a picture of me, and there's.

[Drew]

A picture of you, and you can't show that picture of me.

[Enya]

Oh, it sis. It's getting showed.

[Drew]

Wait, what's the picture of me?

[Enya]

You know, the one that I laugh at.

[Drew]

I fucking hate you. Drew saved that picture of me to his phone like, 18 times.

[Enya]

Okay, I sent you a second one. Can you blur out the red picture in the second one?

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Enya]

Okay. But, yeah, that's the other part of my camera roll. Whoa. And it's the top one in the middle. That's the best picture of all time. I swear to God, like, if you do unfortunately die before me, like, I'm not gonna kill you or anything. It's not gonna be, like, a problem. I'm using that as your obituary photo.

[Drew]

I'll beat your ass, girl.

[Enya]

Haunt you.

[Drew]

All right.

[Enya]

Blood said, do you riz me? I told her, only in Ohio. I only love my get in my big chungus. I'm sorry. I only love my get in my chungus. I'm sorry. Blood say, do you raise me? I told her, only in Ohio. I only love my getting my big chungus. I'm sorry.

[Drew]

Dude. You are really like. And Drew, you have been scaring me recently.

[Enya]

Like, I don't just a glimpse into my dark reality, a full stare into my twisted personality would make a person go simply insane. Love that I got tagged in that so many times. Oh, my God.

[Drew]

You are so weird, man.

[Enya]

Respect the player, not the game.

[Drew]

All right, I need to poop, so I'm gonna go.

[Enya]

I'll give you one song before we go, and it's a BBP plug. When can I see you again?

[Drew]

All right, bye.

[Ryan Seacrest]

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