our neighbors hate us

Summary

Summary of "Emergency Intercom" Episode: "Our Neighbors Hate Us"

Release Date: August 6, 2025
Hosts: Enya Umanzor, Drew Phillips, Kai
Produced by: iHeartPodcasts

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1. Milestone Celebration and Leap Year Banter

Timestamp: 00:00 - 02:00

The episode opens with the hosts celebrating their 200th episode, blending humor with light-hearted frustration about how mid to late 20-year-olds typically mark milestones by doing "absolutely nothing."

Notable Quote:

• Drew (00:30): "We're celebrating exactly how mid to late 20 year olds would celebrate anything, which is by doing absolutely nothing."

The conversation naturally segues into a discussion about leap years, revealing a mix of confusion and humor about the intricacies of February's days and leap year cycles.

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2. Vibrators and Party Stories

Timestamp: 02:00 - 05:00

Enya shares a candid story about attending a "Renee route" party where she collected a multitude of unopened vibrators. The hosts humorously debate what to do with the surplus, highlighting social dynamics and the awkwardness surrounding the topic.

Notable Quote:

• Enya (02:26): "I went to the Renee route party and got a bunch of vibrators."

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3. Parenting and Teenage Isolation in the Digital Age

Timestamp: 03:20 - 05:00

Drew discusses the challenges of parenting teenagers who are heavily reliant on technology, exacerbated by the social isolation brought about by COVID-19. The conversation touches on the struggles of fostering social skills and the fear of their children remaining isolated.

Notable Quote:

• Drew (03:02): "I've been busy being a mother. I've been busy being a mother. Like just my siblings are in town, so I've been like, you know, feeding them and entertaining them."

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4. Zocdoc Advertisement

Timestamp: 13:20 - 14:44

John Fry delivers a sponsored segment promoting Zocdoc, an app designed to simplify booking medical appointments. The ad emphasizes its benefits for individuals with busy schedules or those struggling with reminders due to ADHD.

Notable Quote:

• Enya (13:20): "ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in-network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment."

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5. Social Media and Mr. Beast's Evolution

Timestamp: 15:39 - 38:10

The hosts delve into the transformation of the popular YouTuber Mr. Beast, critiquing his shift towards more self-focused content. They express disappointment over his perceived loss of authenticity and discuss the broader implications of influencer behavior on social media.

Notable Quote:

• Drew (37:37): "I hate this whole, like, he's started to feel himself."

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6. Personal Mishaps and Health Issues

Timestamp: 38:10 - 50:00

Drew recounts a humorous yet vivid incident where he accidentally vacuumed up his IUD using a Dyson. The detailed narrative combines humor with relatable frustrations about everyday mishaps.

Notable Quote:

• Drew (30:15): "I had to sit on the floor of the bathroom for, like, 30 minutes extracting an IUD, and it genuinely felt like I was a doctor."

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7. Diet Trends and Wellness Fads

Timestamp: 55:19 - 67:35

The conversation shifts to modern wellness trends, including the carnivore diet and the use of supplements like Ozempic among men. The hosts humorously critique these fads while sharing their own mixed feelings and experiences.

Notable Quote:

• Enya (55:19): "I'm getting older. I want to, like, not age, so I'm gonna do all of these things that are insane."

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8. Neighborly Conflicts and "Keeping Up with the Joneses"

Timestamp: 50:00 - 53:00

The hosts discuss recent experiences with neighbors engaging in "flex wars," where they compete over material possessions like expensive cookies or new cars. This segment highlights the absurdities of modern suburban competition.

Notable Quote:

• Kai (52:45): "I ate a cookie for breakfast."

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9. Gender Roles and Appearance

Timestamp: 60:22 - 67:35

In a spirited debate, the hosts discuss traditional gender roles related to appearance. They express strong opinions against men adopting stereotypically feminine traits, such as wearing nail polish or skirts, blending humor with social commentary.

Notable Quote:

• Kai (60:44): "I can't stand a straight guy that wears a skirt and paints his goddamn nails."

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10. Wrap-Up and Closing Remarks

Timestamp: 67:35 - End

The episode concludes with the hosts maintaining their signature comedic banter, touching on various light-hearted topics and personal anecdotes, ensuring listeners are left entertained and eagerly anticipating the next episode.

Notable Quote:

• Drew (68:04): "This is an I heart podcast."

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Overall Flow and Tone:
The episode of "Emergency Intercom" is characterized by its casual, humorous banter among the hosts, blending personal stories with sharp social commentary. The conversation moves fluidly across various topics, from personal mishaps and wellness trends to social media influences and neighborhood dynamics. The inclusion of sponsored content is seamlessly integrated, maintaining the show's comedic and engaging tone.

For New Listeners:
"Our Neighbors Hate Us" offers a blend of relatable humor and insightful discussions, making it a fun listen for those who enjoy candid conversations about modern life, social trends, and personal anecdotes. The hosts' chemistry and ability to weave humor into everyday topics provide an entertaining experience even for first-time listeners.

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Note: The timestamps are approximate and based on the transcript provided.

Transcript

[Drew]

This is an I heart podcast. Hi. Oh, my God. Hi. Oh, my God. 200 episodes.

[Kai]

The 200th episode.

[Drew]

We're celebrating exactly how mid to late 20 year olds would celebrate anything, which is by doing absolutely nothing. Like, what? What are you supposed to do? 208 does seem to me more appropriate to celebrate because that's like 52. 52. 52. But have we been in, like, podcasting since a leap year?

[Kai]

I have no idea.

[Enya]

I don't think so.

[Drew]

When's been the last, like, leap year? I feel like it kind of happened more recently also. Wait, I met somebody recently who did not know that February had 28 days. Like, they were.

[Enya]

I didn't know that until right now.

[Drew]

Stop playing with me because you are way too fucking old to not know that.

[Enya]

I. I literally. I knew that some months had less days, but I didn't know it was as low as 28. That's very low.

[Kai]

The next leap year or the last leap year was 2024. 2028 is the next leap year.

[Drew]

See how nobody even, like, when I say I sound crazy, but you. You not knowing what a leap year is is genuinely jarring for the amount you know about, like, computers and shit.

[Enya]

I've heard about leap year it.

[John Fry]

Why?

[Kai]

Why is there an extra day every four years?

[Drew]

Because we have leftovers and we're not wasteful.

[Enya]

Something to do with the rotation of the planets.

[Kai]

That should.

[Enya]

Oh, shit. I have to get my headphones really quick. Sorry.

[Drew]

Oh, my God.

[Enya]

Okay, let me just grab that. Just give me a second.

[Kai]

Guys.

[Drew]

Put my laptop down.

[Kai]

Wait. The addition of one day. February 29th, which is today, makes the year 300.

[Drew]

You look so scary opening a book, B. Oh.

[Kai]

Oh.

[Drew]

Is that a bunch of vibrators?

[Kai]

Why do you have a bunch of pebble vibrators?

[Enya]

My bad. Wait one second.

[Kai]

Wait. Why do you have these?

[Drew]

Well, they're unopened, so, like, actually, I have a lot to say.

[Kai]

I'm gonna take this.

[Enya]

No, I actually need that one.

[Kai]

I'll take this.

[Drew]

Why do you have so many?

[Enya]

I went to the Renee route party and got a bunch of vibrators.

[Drew]

That's amazing. Why didn't everybody just open them up and use them there? Like, the best kind of gift is some people.

[Enya]

Some people did open them. Some people did.

[Kai]

I was gonna go, but I was sick.

[Enya]

It was so fun. There was a stud room.

[Kai]

Really?

[Enya]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Is there an Asian stud?

[Drew]

I was gonna say, like, I was trying to think, like, were there actually studs there?

[Enya]

There might have been, like, one.

[Kai]

Maybe Renee Rapp Was the stud.

[Enya]

Is the stud tonight?

[Drew]

Oh yeah. I was supposed to go to that too. But I've been busy being a mother. I've been busy being a mother. Like just my siblings are in town, so I've been like, you know, feeding them and entertaining them. They are so disinterested in absolutely everything for the most part.

[Kai]

I know it's crazy to be a teenager right now with iPhones because like, brain fried.

[Drew]

Yeah, the brain is a bit fried. Like they're very intelligent kids, but genuinely, they are the most alive when they're at home. When they're at.

[Kai]

Which I can't even. Which that is me. I champion that. Like my safe space is my iPhone. When I lay in bed with my goddamn iPhone. That is the greatest feeling God has given me.

[Drew]

Yeah. But it is like, it's so interesting because like, at least Natalie, she's been talking about like every time we've hung out with all of our friends and them, she'll be like, damn, I wish I talked more. Like I feel so weird. Like she wants to be more expressive and more sociable. But it's just like, dude, kids are so isolated now especially. I always forget that they are covet kids. Like they are actually. They were affected by that. And I'm so scared. I'm so scared. Actually my. I will say my siblings at least they're like very well mannered and I'd rather have a teenager around me who's like a bit timid than like a scary teenager.

[Kai]

That's mean.

[Drew]

A me. Yeah, like a scary, like overly confident exuberant ass kid who's like a know it all.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

And that's how I was. But my siblings are like that. But they keep it chill. They act like they like don't know, but they. They are thinking a lot and they are really observing and it kind of scares me because it feels like an observing eye.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Are you.

[Kai]

I'm sick.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

I was gonna say I'm sick as fuck.

[Drew]

I woke up. I sleep with Drew all the time. We know this and I woke up. Cause he keeps also like, I'm sorry. When men are sick. Like seriously, get it together. Like when men are sick. I just don't get it. But this morning I woke up and we were hella close to each other and I've never moved away, so f. It actually helped me get out of bed.

[Kai]

I know. I saw like your pillow fort that you built between us.

[Drew]

Yeah. Cuz we were way too close. I woke up and it like our mouths were kind of Closed. And I almost went to kiss you and I was like, oh, this motherfucker is sick. And then I put my pillow and I moved over.

[Kai]

I kissed in her sleep last night.

[Drew]

A to get me sick.

[Kai]

Well, something absolutely earth shattering, groundbreaking, amazing happened to me this past week. So I got a TV for my bedroom. I used to be anti TV in the bedroom, but now I want a TV in my bedroom and I fall asleep with it on.

[Drew]

Every single anti TV in the bedroom is like, okay, well, I just.

[Kai]

I want to watch tv. But our living room is so uncomfortable and terrible and that couch sucks and the TVs like 14 miles away that it's just like, where am I going to watch TV in my bedroom? So I'm on board. But while I was shopping for my TV at Best Buy, guys, I ran into Cookie King and K. Shami. And that was very big for me. You probably got them sick.

[Drew]

That was like, right before you actually.

[Kai]

Were sick unironically, like, very big for me. Like, but I was surprised with myself. Like, I actually was like, bitch, I'm going to go up to them. I don't give a fuck. But like. And I just like, shouted, cookie. I was like, cookie. Cookie. And he was just ignoring me because he thought I was like a fan or whatever. Am a fan. But he was like ignoring me also.

[Drew]

He was probably ignoring you not because you look like a fan, but because you are a grown ass man yelling cookie to another grown man across a Best Buy. And it definitely you. You and Josh together. I'd be like, oh, hell no. They're gonna, like, bully me.

[Kai]

Yeah, no, he. He dapped me up and was like, oh, it's good to meet you or good to see you. And he's like, well, wait, I like recognize you. And I was like, yeah, I like, do Internet stuff. And he was like, oh, my gosh. Yeah, we've DMed. We've DM. Me and Cookie King have DMed. Obviously. Like, we go way back.

[Drew]

Yeah, he didn't remember. He didn't turn around. I was like, oh, my God, Drew. He was like, yay.

[Kai]

But we're gonna link up this week and go grab lunch or something. We're making plans right now.

[Drew]

So what does he do?

[Kai]

I. I literally don't know.

[Drew]

Literally me. When someone asks what I do.

[Kai]

Yeah, no, it's really. It's hard. It's hard to describe, but every single person responded to my close friends. Every single person that resp into my close friend story was like, who the is this? Like, why are you this geeked about it. And I was like, guys, if you knew, you knew you. If you know, you know, like Hillsboro Hills, like.

[Drew]

What the is that?

[Kai]

It's just. It's just major. It's just Cookie king, cookie lore. But he posted the live photo of us on his tik tok. So now I'm in the cookie verse. I'm in the universe. I broke into the Lord. And we'll insert the picture here. But yeah, I also met case, mind you, he.

[Drew]

Before he posted that on his close friends, he sent it in our group chat and nobody said anything. All I said is like, who is that? Like, and then he said who it was and nobody said anything else.

[Kai]

Josh gets it. Josh understands.

[Drew]

Yeah, it's like the straight guy who's on his phone here in the house, he would be tapped in, like, what the is the cookieverse?

[Kai]

But yeah, K. Shami was there too. I kind of accidentally dubbed him Shami. He's like a looks maxer.

[Drew]

Okay.

[Kai]

He. He does like. He like acts like American Psycho. What's his name?

[Enya]

Oh, yeah, mc.

[Kai]

No, no, like the character's name.

[Drew]

I know. Well, I. I don't know the character's.

[Kai]

Name, but he acts like him and that's like his whole stick. And he kind of like, looks like him, but like, they like both like Cookie King. Like, his whole thing is like, looks minimizing. Like he like trolls. He like trolls, like, looks maxers. But I was like, bitch, you like, look good as fuck in person. Like, I was genuinely shocked. Like, he makes himself like, intentionally look worse online, but it's so people can.

[Drew]

Watch him, like, glow up. Also. I just choked on air and spit for the first time in so long. He just wants people to be able to follow a glow up.

[Kai]

Yeah, exactly.

[Drew]

He's got plans. He's got big plans about his, like, looks minimizing or whatever the fuck.

[Kai]

Yeah. There's this one account that I've been keeping keeping up with a looks minimizer. And he lifts only with this muscle. Like with this exact. Not this side, just this side. He only works out this muscle and his face is like deformed and like melting off the side of his body. Like it's crazy because of the exercise. Yeah, he just works out this muscle like this. Only this one.

[Enya]

Why does he do that?

[Kai]

He just wants to, like, see how far he can like literally taking it. And it's crazy. He's like deformed and like, you really can't your up.

[Enya]

Like, so that's he's looking looks minimizing yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, I thought that was something that you could do to make your face look better, but then I realized you were talking about looks minimizers.

[Drew]

So anyway, I just put in an edit. One of those, like, when I was talking about Jordan Barrett and saying he's scared.

[Kai]

Oh, you got mine.

[Drew]

I got. I got put in a vlog at it. Who's Jordan Barrett? Oh, the scary guy.

[Kai]

He is the weirdest looking person ever.

[Drew]

And I'm sorry, that was your. When I would be grossed out. And it cracked me up because I was like, whoa, this is up. If I was 12. Like, if I was like a young girl. And I was like, oh, my God, this is so sad. A bunch of, like, random straight guys think I'm ugly. But that has always been my reality. Like, seeing that, I was like, okay.

[Kai]

We were talking yesterday, like, literally. I think the worst thing that someone can do to me is call me cute. I don't want to be cute.

[Enya]

I want to be sexy thing that do to you.

[Kai]

Yes, yes. I'm not cute. I'm hot. Like, please. Actually, no, I'm not. I know I'm not hot. I'm like, I got a fat fucking thing.

[Drew]

I know I'm not.

[Kai]

I got a baby face.

[Drew]

Sexy. I'm cute.

[Kai]

Yeah, but like, oh, my God, like, getting called cute can sound so mean sometimes. So condescending.

[Drew]

Getting called cute by, like, a woman who I find, like, hot.

[Kai]

I'm like, you're so cute.

[Drew]

It feels like being friend zoned. That's, like, the closest to like it. Like, oh. I'm like, oh, I find you attractive. And now you're calling. You're like, oh, my God, you're so cute. I'm like, yeah, you think I'm a little kid. I'm like a little guy to you. Like that. That's it.

[Kai]

I'm just a little boy. Like, you're this little boy.

[Drew]

It's like, I'm not even one of the girls. I'm like a little guy to you if you say that to me. But yeah, I got put in a weird ass mog edit, and guess what? Y' all only used old clips of him.

[Kai]

No, I don't support the Jordan Barrett hate. I.

[Drew]

It's not even hate. It's just like, damn if girls get to, like, get dissed on for it too. Like, guys too. Also, girls IG models should get to be considered, like, looks maxers, too. No, like, they are looks. Like, those are the OG looks maxers, girl.

[Kai]

That's just like Rexy Tumblr.

[Drew]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Because to me, like, I'm not in the looks maxing community, but to me, looks maxing, you also have to have swag because you can't have like a lot of. I think the issue with a lot of that is, like, y' all are so focused on, like, your face that you're not focused on the other senses. Like mildew. Mildew. Like, that is a scent. That is a scent I imagine from somebody who's like, really obsessed with looks. Maxing is like a mildew set.

[Kai]

And like not even on fragrance free detergent.

[Drew]

Yeah, literally. And like, like bluish stains on every light piece of clothing from dumping, like Tide in there. Like, that's what I'm imagining. And I'm all for a face card, but like, sometimes they're going to ask for your id, like, even with a face card, like if you're making a big purchase, even if you look like you have the bread, they're going to ask you for ID because like, fraud happens.

[Kai]

This episode of Emergency Intercom is brought to you by zocdoc. Y'. All. Do you remember that doctor appointment you were trying to make a while ago that you forgot about because you are ADHD? Well, that's where ZocDoc comes into play. I don't know about you, but my social media is freaking me out. I literally need y' all to stop putting olive oil on your face. It's not gonna help your skin. Please go to a dermatologist booked through zocdoc. As I get older, I think I should go to the doctor more because I can't sleep at night, I'm stressed out all the time and I want to keep myself healthy, but system makes it impossible to find the right doctor for my needs. That was until I found ZocDoc. ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment.

[Drew]

Zoc Doc is the only reason I've been to the doctor, if I'm being honest. Anytime anything in my body is going wrong, I open up that app. It's probably one of the most used apps on my phone because sometimes I can't lie. I just start to scroll around because I'm getting to that age where like between my shoulder blades hurts and I wake up with the kind of night sweats that are so wet and nasty. I wake up cold no matter what the temperature in the house is. And I definitely should go to the doctor and I'M actually going to go this week and I'm going to open up the app right now. I think you guys should stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to Zocdoc.comIntercom to find an instantly book a top rated doctor today. That's Z O c d o c.com Intercom Zocdoc.com Intercom.

[John Fry]

This is John Fry from OK Storytime. Are you an aspiring singer songwriter? Let me ask you a question. What do Cardi B, Mozart and you, yes, you listening right now all have in common? I would like to see all of their music performed live. But why am I saying this? Because if you are a music artist, you have the chance to perform at the legendary iHeart Theater this fall because TikTok Live and iHeartRadio are teaming up to present NextUp Live Music, a nationwide search for the next wave of original music artists. All you need to do is go live on TikTok and post a video performance of your own original song using the hashtag NextUpLiveMusic. Auditions are open now through August 11, so don't wait y'.

[Drew]

All.

[John Fry]

I want to see you get this opportunity. You can perform on Stage at the iHeart Theater in Los Angeles at this fall and even get your track heard on radio. And if you win, you'll be nominated for live creator of the year. So go on Tik Tok right now and post with the hashtag next up live music before August 11th. Again, that's hashtag next up live music only on Tik Tok.

[Drew]

And like to me your ID is your your swag. And a lot of people are swag less so to me, IG models are the true looks maxers because even that ed shit, bro, that is not a vibe. Like that's not even looks maxing. You're actually looks deteriorating.

[Kai]

You look like your teeth are rotting out of your skull.

[Drew]

Also like oh my go. I can't stand a motherfucker who makes eating more complicated because I'm like a complicated eater in the sense that I never have something specific I want to eat but I can't stand somebody who's going to like hang out. And I guess that's kind of you but for different reasons because you'll knock out. I'm saying like I hate ending up at a dinner situation with somebody who's like I'm keto or something.

[Kai]

What are your gluten free options? Like eat the glue. Come on.

[Drew]

You have.

[Kai]

I think, I think celiac. No, no, no. Celiac is fake. I Think celiac is fake, just like Lyme's disease is fake. I'm not buying any of this.

[Drew]

I really buy.

[Kai]

I'm not buying any of this. Y' all are faking it. Y' all are all faking it. Lyme's disease is code for rehab.

[Drew]

Like, have celiac disease. And I'm like, yeah, you know what? Yeah, bread does lactose intolerance.

[Kai]

While we're here, let's talk about bitch.

[Drew]

Come on. Oh, it's going to make you shit. A lot of things make you shit.

[Kai]

Just. Just medically denying. Like, I know celiac's disease is real, but, like, a lot of you bitches are faking it for the clout. Like, I know that.

[Drew]

We know faking it for the clout. It's literally like, yeah, we could google anything and find the answers we want. No, like, that's kind of more what it is. It's like post Covid, everyone got to be inside and, like, do experiments.

[Kai]

Why does my stomach hurt after I eat 10 pounds of bread? Oh, you are gluten intolerant. No, you ate 10 pounds of fucking bread. Like, girl. What?

[Drew]

But I will say I'm back to whole milk if anybody cares.

[Kai]

Me too.

[Drew]

I'm like, not on my.

[Kai]

The gays are drinking milk again. Yeah, recession indicator.

[Drew]

My joints need to be strong.

[Kai]

Calcium.

[Enya]

I can't drink whole milk.

[Drew]

What?

[Enya]

I can't drink any milk.

[Kai]

I can't drink it too.

[Drew]

That's the craziest part. Like, you don't even have to to say that. Like, if I went to a coffee shop or something with you, which is crazy. We've never been to a coffee shop together.

[Kai]

Like, so many. Like, us alone with. Yes, us three. We've been to a coffee shop together.

[Enya]

But maybe not me.

[Drew]

And no, I was thinking maybe just me and Kai. Like, I'm imagining because I wouldn't go to a fudgeing coffee shop with you. Bitch, you don't have coffee.

[Kai]

Oh, have I not been drinking coffee for the past two days, y'?

[Drew]

All.

[Kai]

I love caffeine.

[Drew]

Past two days.

[Kai]

I literally love. Also what he says that.

[Drew]

What he means is he gets a coffee and takes, like. Like, maximum eight sips out of it, so then there's just like, a full coffee left. But he, like, no is micro dosing caffeine.

[Kai]

No, I get it. For the first time, like, the past, like, couple days, I've been drinking, like, coffee and I get this. This rush of energy and I see what y' all are talking about. I've never had that but, like, I stay awake.

[Drew]

Now you get why some people don't want to talk before that, huh?

[Kai]

Yeah, don't talk to me before my coffee.

[Drew]

No.

[Kai]

Back to Kai not being able to drink whole milk. H O L, E. Yeah.

[Enya]

What? No, I meant whole milk, as in W. H, O L, E. Spell that, bro. Whole milk.

[Drew]

H O L, E. Are we.

[Kai]

Not that we're talking about butthole milk?

[Drew]

Yeah, that's what we're talking about. Drinking whole milk. You thought, like, with the W. They're douching.

[Kai]

They're douching with 2%.

[Drew]

Oh, yeah. With half and half.

[Kai]

They're douching with skim.

[Drew]

They're douching with heavy whipping butter cream.

[Kai]

So that whipping butter in there, when.

[Drew]

It flushes out, it's.

[Kai]

Yeah, whipped cream.

[Enya]

Okay, okay, Sorry. I didn't know you were talking about, like, a hole in something.

[Kai]

No.

[Drew]

So you can't have whole milk. Why? Are you lactose?

[Enya]

I've never. The whole milk that you're talking about, I've never tried.

[Drew]

Okay, but like, milk from a cow.

[Enya]

Oh, yeah. I.

[Kai]

Wait, guys, Guys. Bitch, I'm a cow. Bitch, I'm a cow.

[Enya]

Was that a doja cat reference?

[Drew]

Moo. It's crazy how that was pre Covid. Was that pre Covid?

[Enya]

That was five years before COVID Yeah.

[Drew]

Like, that's like, that's crazy.

[Kai]

Y' all don't know doja. Like, I know doja.

[Drew]

You get me so high.

[Kai]

You give me so high.

[Drew]

Find like, you found that. Oh, actually, no. You were like a soundcloud.

[Kai]

Yeah, I was. I was a sound clown.

[Drew]

Okay, so you can't have whole milk.

[Enya]

I can't. It'll have my ankles behind my head.

[Drew]

Can you have ice cream and ice cream?

[Enya]

I can't have any cream. I can't have any cream because I was. I was always like, oh, I would get, like, an upset stomach. But then I stopped eating it for three years. And this is a thing. You lose the enzyme, and so now it like, me up.

[Kai]

I just saw a new.

[Drew]

I started micro dosing back to it, and now I'm fully back.

[Enya]

Oh, nice. Like after your tea break.

[Kai]

Yeah, my milk tea break. Y'. All. Y' all know the penny nickel dime girl?

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Penny nickel dime. Penny, penny nickel dime quarter. Y' all know her?

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

We'll insert the clip if you guys.

[Drew]

Want to know how to do penny nickel dime. All you gotta do penny nickel dime. Penny, penny nickel dime. Nickel. Penny, nickel dime. Penny, penny nickel quarter.

[Kai]

I just found out last week that she's Megan like that little creepy doll that dances.

[Drew]

I thought you meant Megan Trainor.

[Kai]

No, Megan the Stallion. She's Megan the Stallion. The Stallion. No, but Penny Nickel Dime, that's actually.

[Drew]

What I thought was going to happen to me, like, growing up. Cuz I was like, in one day, I'll just look like that Megan girl.

[Kai]

Oh, God. Wait.

[Drew]

Okay, so, okay, we're good. This is a crazy way I'm sitting.

[Kai]

This girl is Megan, y'. All. She's a voice, I think.

[Drew]

Wait, I think she's the dancer.

[Kai]

No, no. Like, the whole thing is based off of her. Like, I saw her doing.

[Drew]

Like, somebody saw that video of her and was like, dude, that looks like a droid. That would show up.

[Kai]

That looks like an evil, fudgeing creepy doll.

[Drew]

Imagine that thing chasing you in the middle of the night.

[Kai]

The reason I found this out is because I, like, was stalking her Instagram because I was like, wait, Penny Nickel Dime girl. Like, that video was very important to me. Like, yeah, seven years ago, eight years ago, it got me out of, like, a really dark place. But I just was like, I stumbled.

[Drew]

Upon her Instagram making faces to that. As if people who don't listen to this podcast come up and dead serious are saying that to us. And I'm like, that is so sweet. And then it's like, what are we talking about?

[Kai]

We're talking about butthole milk making butter inside colons. Oh, my God. You saved my life. I know I did.

[Drew]

Oh, my God.

[Kai]

I know. No, but yeah, that was just, like, a shocking revelation I had that. The Megan 2.0 girl. Her name is.

[Drew]

Wait, have you seen Megan 2.0? Is that out yet?

[Kai]

Jenna Davis, That's Penny Nickel Dime. I didn't see it, but I heard it's dog. But, like, it's like, it's like all dog movies. If you, like, go into it and you're like, you know it's dog, then you'll have fun.

[Drew]

Like, well, to be fair, if you're going into Megan, too, looking for some, like, cinematic.

[Kai]

Oh, my God. Wait, this girl is like, a bigger question. She was in Raven's Home. Vampirina. Lisa Frankenstein. She is a star, y'.

[Drew]

All.

[Kai]

Vampirina.

[Drew]

Me and what's it called?

[Kai]

She was in Chicken Girls. In you.

[Drew]

What was.

[Kai]

She was in Chicken Girls.

[Drew]

So one day I go, so we come from the Brat Universe. What was the one I was in?

[Kai]

Repeated Hair Girl. Repeating the Brat Universe. Extended Brat Cinematic Universe.

[Drew]

Dude, what was it?

[Kai]

What was it called? It was like, upstuck or something like that.

[Drew]

Stuck Stuck. Stuck.

[Kai]

Stick it, stick it. Oh, my God. I had a big crush on her.

[Drew]

I wanted her so bad.

[Kai]

I don't think I. I don't think I had a crush on her. I think I wanted to be her. I think I wanted to be doing cool. Like, I wanted to be like, cool girl, like doing flips and it.

[Drew]

I want it to be cool. Mask lesbian. Beefing with the feminine girls, with the femme girls and hoping that they're actually down for.

[Kai]

Did she date a guy? Like, did she hook up with one of those guys in that movie or did.

[Drew]

I'm not kidding. I don't remember. I don't think she was a lesbian. I think there was a love interest, but I don't remember.

[Kai]

In my head, you were the love interest.

[Drew]

Yeah, in my head. The point of that movie is she's a badass girl. She gets sent away to gymnastics camp or whatever. The. She starts beefing with the pretty, like, other hot girl and they're really duking it out and they're just really good in gymnastics and everyone's hot.

[Kai]

I'm literally getting full blown chills thinking about this scene when they all went and then. Yeah.

[Drew]

Oh, my God.

[Kai]

Yes. The evil bitchy girl that wasn't a girl's girl became a girl.

[Drew]

Yeah. She was prudish and she was like, I'm a lady.

[Kai]

She's like, you, mom, I'm gonna show my bra strap. And then she like, went ham. And then the girl on the.

[Drew]

Did you look up like a description?

[Kai]

No, I just am looking.

[Drew]

Wow.

[Kai]

No, this, like, this is how you know I'm a. Like, this was like my movie for real. Like, I love this.

[Drew]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I. I did have a huge crush on the Latin girl. Like, I thought she was so pretty. Like, I wanted her and the main girl.

[Kai]

We literally, like, we literally have to watch the balance.

[Drew]

Should we watch this again?

[Kai]

We're gonna watch it today.

[Drew]

We should show it to the kids.

[Kai]

Yes. Like real culture. Like this stick. It is a real culture because of that movie.

[Drew]

I wanted to be in gymnastics and then my mom put me in ballet and I hated it. And I literally did rebel like that.

[Kai]

Girl in the movie.

[Drew]

And then I got kicked out.

[Kai]

When she, like, does the cool moves.

[Drew]

Wait, wait. I actually want to watch it.

[Kai]

Trying to figure out.

[Drew]

This makes me miss the Olympics.

[Kai]

I know. The Olympics is always.

[Drew]

Isn't it gonna be here?

[Kai]

It makes me patriotic. And then I get really sad that I got patriotic. I feel really guilty.

[Drew]

It's like post nut clarity.

[Kai]

Yeah. It's like, go, America. Oh, wait, no. Oh, no.

[Drew]

Also, I was thinking in the car today, I don't know why this crossed my mind, but I was actually making myself laugh because Donald. Donald. That is that per. Donald. That is your name? No, that is the craziest part is, like, we know that this guy lies and he's a piece of. And, like, do all of them, but to get away with. Okay, because you have all the bread in the world. You have all the power in the world. You can change that weird name. You can make your name Trump. Trump if you want. Like, Donald. You kept Donald and he started going by Trump, but he goes by that because it's mad embarrassing to think you're the guy, Don. Donald, Donald, Donald, Donald. Like, that is like.

[Kai]

I've said it too many times. Heard it too many times.

[Drew]

Donald, Donald, Donald.

[Kai]

Michiki.

[Drew]

Yeah, I was just thinking about that today, and it just was cracking me up. I can't believe Donald, like, the guy up to no good.

[Kai]

His name is Donald and his nasty body. Have we seen shirtless pictures of him recently in South Park?

[Drew]

That was him.

[Enya]

No, that was him.

[Drew]

That was him. They got him to do that. That episode isn't on hbo. Max, by the way.

[Kai]

Wait, he might be a never nude, y'. All. Why have I never seen a shirtless picture of Donald Trump? He might shower in his clothes, girl. I looked up shirtless Donald Trump. What the. No, I said that's a guy. Wait, there's no pictures of him shirtless. He's nasty. He has. He's literally insecure and nasty. Little. Oh, he's nasty, bro.

[Drew]

He literally. Oh, he uses, like, the powder hairline stuff, and like, that's like. Oh, it's just.

[Kai]

Oh, you know when Rudy Giuliani, like, his hairline melted off and he had, like, black paint going down his face. I saw someone yesterday with that and I felt so bad. It was just a normal guy, too.

[Drew]

Giuliani, for some reason, made me think of when Lady Gaga dressed up, is like that.

[Kai]

Wait, what's his name? What's the name? What's his name?

[Drew]

It's not anywhere near close, but, like, such an Italian name.

[Kai]

What's the Lady Gaga? Boy, she was batshit crazy.

[Drew]

I wanna be that G U. Why, yes.

[Kai]

Joe Caldly called Joe Cald. How do you say it? Called Leon.

[Drew]

I don't know.

[Kai]

It's in the. It's next to the visit button called Leo. And I can't joke.

[Drew]

Calderon.

[Kai]

Calderon. Joe Calderon.

[Drew]

Calderon. Oh, if it is a joke.

[Kai]

She used to Just do shit. Oh, my God.

[Drew]

Like, dude, you know who I could see doing this? And this is what will. Literally, I don't know if there's ever a world for this to get across to you. I love you so much. The only person who I could see doing something like that, and I would let it slide right now is Dochi, because she's talking about how she wants to mix, like, musical with hip hop. And I'm like, you need a joke, Calderon moment.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

If you're really gonna do it. Like, Drag King. Like, oh, my God, Joe Calderon. I love it so much. We used to say that was Josh.

[Kai]

Yeah, it does give Josh. It really does. Oh, my God. Well, y' all have heard of Labubu, right?

[Drew]

Oh, my God.

[Kai]

Well, get ready for Drew Boo Boo or La Drew Drew. I got Kai Giggly.

[Enya]

That's good.

[Drew]

He hasn't heard which ones.

[Kai]

Which one's better? Drew Boo Boo or La Drew Drew.

[Enya]

I like Drew Boo Boo.

[Kai]

Everyone at the party was saying, le Drew Drew is better. I think Drew Boo Boo is better.

[Drew]

Well, the Drew Drew can be the girl one, and then Drew Boo Boo can be the boy one.

[Kai]

Drew Boo Boo, y'. All. Labubu this, Labubu that. Why don't you laboo on my boo or whatever?

[Drew]

You're sick. It's okay.

[Kai]

Yeah, you're not all there.

[Drew]

Also, I have a gold IUD in my. In my bathroom, and I had the most insane experience because I have it in this little ashtray where I, like, put these incense papers. And to clean it, I'll just. Just grab the Dyson and, like, suck up the ashes. And I had it just an open tube, and I went to go suck up the ashes, and it sucked up the iud. And I literally had to sit on the floor of the bathroom for, like, 30 minutes extracting an IUD, and it genuinely felt like I was a doctor. And it just felt so weird, like, shoving random things into this tube.

[Kai]

And, like, that's like. It's not a piece of jewelry, right? It's like. No, it's like, an actual real one.

[Drew]

Yeah. No, I was watching it work in real time. It was actually incredibly impressive. Like.

[Kai]

Like, it just, like, stuck to the wall.

[Drew]

No, it literally did. Like, it shot up. It got caught at the cervix of the Dyson, and then the legs expanded around the, like, tubes, and it was there. Like, I had to get a paintbrush and another paintbrush and, like, use two things to stab it out through a random crevice.

[Kai]

And that's what it's like getting it removed in real life.

[Drew]

Well, that's literally all I could imagine is this is probably as painful as this is for this inanimate object. If it was real. Is. That's what I imagine IUDs like. Because I've never gotten one and they sound so scary and painful.

[Kai]

Back to the boo boos. The only thing keeping this economy afloat is collectibles. Think about that.

[Enya]

Yeah, I agree.

[Kai]

Everybody wants their sweet little treat. Everybody wants their little box of joy.

[Enya]

No matter how many funko pops I get, I. I feel like I'll never.

[Kai]

Dude, your Funko pop wall. When I knocked it down, you were so pissed.

[Enya]

Oh, yeah. That's the only. That's the one and only time I ever laid a hand on you.

[Drew]

Hello?

[Enya]

Yeah, I want to do this. I got this idea for an activity for my birthday next year.

[Kai]

Oh, I. I know. This is the fucking video of them crashing into each other. I want to do this shit so bad.

[Drew]

Where is this?

[Enya]

I don't know.

[Drew]

This has to be an org.

[Kai]

No, this isn't another company tree. This is Mario Kart in real life.

[Drew]

Is that. I want to do it. So.

[Kai]

No, but, dude, like, it gets intense. Like. Like, break their back.

[Drew]

I'm. Y' all are going to see me in, like, the foam costume I wore when I was your chair. That's why I'm going to wear it to that. Because my biggest fear with any sort of activity like that is scraping my knuckles and breaking my fingers. Like, for some reason, I'm very convinced if I flew out of something like that.

[Kai]

Your fingers.

[Drew]

My fingers. And. And would scrape the. Oh, my God. We watched the new Final Destination and I've never seen one of those movies. I've never seen a Final Destination. No wonder y' all are so weird. You grew up watching that kind of where the were your parents?

[Kai]

I love Final Destination and it took a lot of convincing to get in you to watch it with me. But we finally watched the new one and I've been dying to watch it because, like, I love the Final Destination movies. And they're like, all dog, like I was saying earlier.

[Drew]

But that's amazing.

[Kai]

That's the point. Like, they're not trying to make a masterpiece. They're just trying to show you weird ways people die. Like, it's cool. And, like, they were. They did not hold back, like, at the last scene. Like, I did not see that coming. I really didn't.

[Drew]

I know. I know I didn't. They got me because I thought me I thought I guessed it right. That cadet, that common trope. They think they do the thing that seems like it's gonna happen and then, oh my God. Last minute.

[Kai]

I can't believe they got away.

[Drew]

I can't believe they lived, they escaped. But what's crazy is Final Destination is really just the mind of somebody with ocd. Like that's all. Like the grandma in the new one who's tweaking. That's just me. If I let all of my intrusive thoughts, thoughts that I have, get to.

[Kai]

My head, girl, I did that last night.

[Drew]

Did you think you were gonna die last night?

[Kai]

No. I got a text from someone looking for someone else and that freaked me out. Crazy.

[Drew]

Well, I think people who swerve to the side for a motorcycle shouldn't be allowed to have their license because why the. The are you moving around? Also people are just, wow. When I get really sad with myself because I don't feel like I have a grasp on reality and I look at things and I'm like, that's not real. There's no way, like my hands could pick it up and it won't go through it. Like I'm really existential all the time and I don't feel like I have a grasp of anything around me. But then I see some dumb in a SUV that's like, like so tiny. You should not be allowed on the street. Everyone thinks their car is big. Everyone thinks their car is huge.

[Kai]

Like they don't know that on the.

[Drew]

Highway today I was, I had to go back and forth across LA to drop something off this morning. And all I could think about the whole drive is half these people. Like, I just wish I could be a judge for so many things. Like I wish at the DMV when you went, it would be me sitting on like a lifeguard chair at the end of a track and I would just like watch you maneuver around and then I get to say if you get to have your license or not. Because a lot of people wouldn't have their license. Cuz I. Oh, it just pisses me off. Today I saw a bunch of motorcycles weaving through traffic and the way everybody was like swerving their Corollas around thinking their big, like their car was going to get scraped by a motorcycle was driving me insane. Because that's how you start car crashes. You dumb. And that's my tangent. That's my, that's my road rage tangent. Also, it should be illegal to have cars that have the tiniest like, like designer brake lights. I was behind A G wagon. And I literally. If I didn't have to do my job here today, I would have crashed in the back of it just to take them to court to fight Mercedes for how tiny those brake lights are. Because it's literally like two little dots and then a little line. And it was so confusing driving behind this guy. I just kept moving away from him, but he kept ending up in front of me. And I felt like I was being chased all morning, but from the front. Does that make sense?

[Kai]

Scary, dude. India's scary.

[Drew]

I just see more scary when Drew's, like, sick as a dog and has nothing to really say back.

[Enya]

Like, no, Anya is scary. We watched Mr. Beast videos, and then she blocked Mr. Beast on YouTube and reported, like, seven videos.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Oh, I did. I did. I do use my phone. Like a crazy person.

[Kai]

Like, you're scared.

[Drew]

I have plenty of people blocked. Like, people have always been so anti.

[Kai]

Recording seven Mr. Beast videos one after another. I mean, they are demonic. Like, it's very. I mean, it's very sick.

[Enya]

Ever since he started adding, like, missiles and stuff, the.

[Kai]

The subliminal messages with the subliminal military complex, like, he's really. It's predictive programming. He's making it, like, comfortable for us to see America, like, blow up with bombs.

[Drew]

No. 100. And he's been doing it for the past, like, two years. I just don't with him. Like, I just also. I hate this whole, like, he's started to feel himself.

[Kai]

Yeah, he started doing that, like, post the AI Mr.

[Drew]

Beast, when people are making him, like, look good. He now thinks he looks good. Like, I mean, I can't even off his sugar for, like, a month. So now he's very like, it's keto. It's keto. It's keto.

[Kai]

No. Ever since he gave me a hundred dollars in the mail, like, I literally, like, like, with him heavily. He recruited me. He g y'.

[Drew]

All.

[Kai]

I don't think I ever spoke about that. Mr. Beast gave me just a stack of $100. I'm not kidding. Like, he gave me.

[Drew]

He didn't give him a stack of 100 bills. It was a stack of $1 bills.

[Enya]

That would add it up to 100.

[Kai]

He had added up to 100, but he gave me a new Mr. Beast chocolate flavor. And then a video saying, he open up the bottom. Here's a hundred dollars. And he just. He was like, I wanted you to feel like. Like what it feels like to win money. And I kept that 100 bill or that 100 and it's a stack in my room and it's a piece of decor now.

[Drew]

And one day when I don't have.

[Kai]

A single pre roll edible India's weed habit. Wait, let's talk about that. Literally, Enya like orders weed and they only take cash. And I'm the only human being on planet earth that still carries cash. Apparently in the last four times, three times, and you just bought weed. It's been on my dollar. And have I been paid back? No, but I don't expect to be because you cover my coffee in the morning and you get me my chai tea latte.

[Drew]

Used to take pride in providing for a woman. What happened to that? Men used to be like, oh my God, no, please, I would love nothing more than to pay for your weed. That used to be something to brag about. It's like, damn, you're buying a bad weed.

[Kai]

Me sitting in like a 25 year old drug dealer's house with my 2 like 14 year old girl homies like sitting on the couch waiting to get smoked out. And we're like, why is a 25 year old hanging out with a 14 year old right now?

[Drew]

Except you're the 14 year old and I'm the 25 year old and you're buying my weed.

[Kai]

Exactly.

[Drew]

But yeah, I'm gonna steal your m. Mr. Beast. Your Mr. Beast. Oh, you're getting a phone call. So can you like decline it or something?

[Kai]

It's corn. Yeah, the culture of dudes. Oh wait, let's read this note. Yeah, the culture of dudes dressing up as Spider Man. Put that bulge down. So I've discovered a whole niche, sub corner, sub genre of the Internet where it is just like 22 year old white guys with blonde hair dressing up as Spider man. And there's like hundreds of them and they spend like thousands of dollars on these Spider man costumes to act like Spider man on Instagram. And then you go to the comments and it's all people just like thirsting over Spider Man. And it's like, like this weird like, like soft core porn thing that people are like getting off to and the dudes like getting off to it. But I found like 30 of them. It's like a whole thing. Like, and like there's like, I mean, I think there's costume dealers too.

[Drew]

Like there's a sub genre of girls in like cosplay communities that the only thing they cosplay is like Gwen or like Spider Girl. Like there's like, especially like, I'm not kidding, because especially Spider Girl.

[Kai]

A Thing.

[Drew]

There's Spider Girl and then Gwen.

[Kai]

I never seen. I've never seen.

[Drew]

Wait, I think Gwen is technically Spider Girl.

[Enya]

Maybe. But isn't it Spider Woman, Spider goo, Spider Girl and Spider Man.

[Drew]

Spider Boy. Spider Woman.

[Enya]

Spider Boy.

[Kai]

Oh, wait, Spider Girl is a thing. Mayday Parker again.

[Drew]

Oh, second time in this episode where I've said something and been made to feel like I don't know any better. Oh my God.

[Enya]

Actually, I thank you for calling that out because I'm sorry, that actually was fucked up.

[Kai]

But yeah, this like all it is is just these dudes showing off their bulges.

[Drew]

Yeah. For the girls it's like coochie print and boobs.

[Kai]

Baby, your coochie is not fat. It's bony. Let it be bony.

[Drew]

It's bushy.

[Kai]

Yeah, that.

[Drew]

That is not a fat pussy. That's a garden. Like, it's a big bush. It's a shrub.

[Kai]

That's a shrub.

[Drew]

Like the thing is, a lot of people don't even have bushes or shrubs. They have like the weird in between.

[Kai]

They have turf.

[Drew]

Oh my God. It is turf. Yeah, but turf is like the post shave, like three days post shave. It's a bit turfy.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

I left, at the gym we go to, there is an outdoor area where you can lay by the pool. And I, I want to go back because in the turf I was playing with it and I left a bit of it tied up in a little ponytail under the chair because I wanted.

[Kai]

To see if it's still there.

[Drew]

I wanted to see if anybody was. Would see it and take out the ponytail. Or in my head it's proof that they're not cleaning, which I wouldn't do anything about. I'm just like, it's like a test for my own like sake. I just want to know, I want to know what's going to happen with that ponytail.

[Kai]

Why you want to know all up in my pussy, boy?

[Drew]

Wait, what is that from? Why you need to know all up in my pussy, boy?

[John Fry]

This is John Fry from ok, Storytime. Are you an aspiring singer songwriter? Let me ask you a question. What do Cardi B. Mozart and you, yes, you listening right now. All have in common? I would like to see all of their music performed live. But why am I saying this? Because if you are a music artist, you have the chance to perform at the legendary iHeart Theater this fall. Because TikTok Live and iHeartRadio are teaming up to present nextup Live Music, a nationwide search for the next wave of original music artists. All you need to do is go live on TikTok and post a video performance of your own original song using the hashtag NextUpLiveMusic. Auditions are open now through August 11, so don't wait, y'.

[Drew]

All.

[John Fry]

I want to see you get this opportunity. You could perform on on Stage at the iHeart Theater in Los Angeles this fall and even get your track heard on radio. And if you win, you'll be nominated for live creator of the year. So go on TikTok right now and post with the hashtag nextup live music before August 11th. Again, that's hashtag NextUp live music only.

[Drew]

On TikTok when guys are sick, it's actually crazy what it does to you. Like, what is this? What is this version of you when you're sick?

[Kai]

You're just like this. But I take care of you.

[Drew]

You okay? Quite. I'm never sick enough like, that. I have to be taken care of. That's like such a rare occasion.

[Kai]

This is a rare occasion for me.

[Drew]

That's not. You are sick. First of all, the way you're talking is going to make me hit you.

[Enya]

Like, you sound like an npr.

[Drew]

Yeah, because you're pissing me off. That's not. You come back.

[Kai]

It's the sick.

[Drew]

Second of all, you are sick at least three times a month. And, like, the sickness can last.

[Enya]

No, there's no way. I actually can't even remember.

[Drew]

No, no, because it's not. It's not about like, this is. He's actually sick, but Drew is sick technically, like twice a week a week. Like, there is.

[Kai]

Why are you making up?

[Drew]

There is two times a week where Drew's like, am I. Do I have a fever? Oh, dude, I just said for the first time yesterday. Okay, the fever, maybe not, but like, Drew, I feel so weird today. Like, I feel like I'm like. Like, I don't know, like you living behind my eyes.

[Kai]

Sorry. I have dissociative identity disorder or whatever the. Sorry. I'm depressed and scared of the world.

[Enya]

I will say I do think you've almost gotten diagnosed with cancer five times.

[Drew]

Saying, like, look at the way he's gaslighting me, this freak. Let's see your ZOC dock, like, appointments.

[Enya]

I'm also sick, but it's cuz I got another booster shot this morning, guys.

[Kai]

On his fifth booster shot.

[Enya]

Yeah, and my eyesight is very blurry. Guys. Do not drive after you get your fifth booster shot is all I'm saying.

[Kai]

This is the fifth this week.

[Drew]

Did you get it before you got.

[Kai]

Loaded off the boosters?

[Enya]

Yeah, I'm addicted to getting boosters. Are they still giving out boosters at cvs?

[Kai]

I bet they are.

[Enya]

I remember when we went and you were like, I want to get the one that's gonna make my blood clot.

[Kai]

Oh, that's literally. I did do that. That's probably why I'm sick all the time.

[Enya]

That really freaked me out.

[Kai]

Yeah, I really did.

[Enya]

I was like, why does he want the one that makes us blood? And then you got it. And then you like, haha, I got the one that makes you all like up.

[Drew]

Have we gotten any updates on what happened to anybody? Like did anybody, someone.

[Kai]

It's like something with like the MRA, M. NRA or whatever.

[Drew]

The something with the MRI machine?

[Kai]

Yeah, no, it's in 20 years my blood will clot and I'll sue the government. It's in 15 years now and you're.

[Drew]

Not gonna get that check until like net eight years. Like that's gonna be.

[Kai]

Yeah, I'll be.

[Drew]

What's so annoying is when people do class action lawsuits. Like everybody. What is, what is the vibe of that? I've never understood like are you getting in a queue line? Like it's everybody. Are they going to get a bunch of lawyers to fight all these cases?

[Enya]

Like it's.

[Kai]

What case is one lawyer like backing a thousand people? Like a class action law?

[Enya]

And then everyone gets mailed money and actually have you seen the app that's called like class action? The class action app.

[Kai]

It's basically like you can join like yes.

[Enya]

Did I talk to you about.

[Kai]

No.

[Enya]

It's an app where it's like any class action lawsuit and at any given point there's like thousands going on. With Apple, you can just like join it like really quickly if you. And you just like highest put a.

[Drew]

Blazer on and sit in my bed and get to work.

[Kai]

Every once in a while I'll see like on Instagram like a guy being like, yeah, like Apple's being sued for like $300 million join this class action lawsuit.

[Enya]

It's like settlement, settlement. And there's just like a list.

[Drew]

It's like lawsuits.

[Kai]

Yeah, I want this one because I.

[Drew]

I mean half the I've used, I always get a tick tock that. It's like this thing actually causes like extreme pain and like kidney stones and this and that. And it's like don't put this on your eyes. And it's something I put on my eyes already for like two years. Oh. But following through seems like so much work.

[Enya]

Well, that's where the app comes in.

[Drew]

It.

[Kai]

Easy.

[Enya]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Kai's actually being paid by them to.

[Drew]

Say that he's being paid by that and whatever brand was for the. The vibrators.

[Enya]

Oh, the. Yeah, the vibrators, dude. Okay, So I went, how exactly did.

[Drew]

You leave this party without seeming like an absolute freak show that you have five.

[Enya]

I think I actually have a video of it because I was with Dom and she was just filming me play with all the. The sex toys.

[Kai]

What time were y' all there?

[Enya]

I think from, like, 11 to 1 at work. And yeah, we both took. We asked. We're like, is it okay if we can take, like, 30 of these? And, like. Yeah, that's why they're here. We want to disseminate these as much.

[Kai]

As we possibly can to inseminate them.

[Enya]

They want. No, it's different word. Different word. But they. Yeah. So we took, like. We took, like. I took, like, 15 because I was like, this is funny to have a pile of vibrators at my house, but now I'm like, I actually don't know what to do with these.

[Kai]

Yeah, give them out to all the women in your life. Give them to the women in your life, Kai.

[Enya]

Yeah, I'm gonna.

[Kai]

I think your mom, your sister.

[Enya]

This one has, like, a suction thing, which is cool.

[Drew]

Wait, was it when we were younger and somebody played with somebody's pocket pussy on tour? And that person's a dad now?

[Kai]

No, it was my pocket pussy. And they grabbed it, and I had used it. I used it, and they didn't know, and they grabbed it and took it out of the sleeve and blew it up like a balloon.

[Enya]

Oh, no.

[Kai]

And that guy was a fucking freak.

[Drew]

That's a. That's a father now.

[Kai]

That's a dad.

[Drew]

And he wasn't, like, 10 or something when he did that, by the way.

[Kai]

No, we were. We were. Dude, I was 16.

[Drew]

Even if I assumed you hadn't used it, doing that and not even begging the question, like, ew.

[Kai]

Oh, my God. Ew. Dude.

[Drew]

Did you wash it after, though?

[Kai]

I did, actually. Okay.

[Drew]

Yeah. So it's kind of like. But I'm sure it didn't get, like, diva cup treatment. It didn't get boiled.

[Kai]

It did not get boiled. It did not get the dishwasher treatment. Like, it got. It got cleaned with hot water in the sink.

[Drew]

Damn. I cannot believe that person is a dad now. You should, like, just wait until that kid's, like, like 18 and then share that information.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Or we'll send this clip. Yeah, yeah, send this clip.

[Kai]

Oh, My God. Yeah. And he was, like, flinging it around and, like, throwing it at the wall and. And blowing it up like a balloon.

[Drew]

Why did you let him play with it so long? I guess. What do you say?

[Kai]

What was I going to be like? Oh, yeah, I used it.

[Drew]

Yeah, I came in that earlier.

[Kai]

Stop. Yeah. Like I was a child. Like, I didn't. I didn't. And I was not close to these people. They were just.

[Drew]

That's why it is so crazy, because it's like admitting that you masturb. It's like, at. Especially at that age, it's technical difficulties. Do you want some of this?

[Kai]

No.

[Enya]

What is. Is that a weed drink? Damn. What is it? THC.

[Kai]

It has 100 milligrams of THC.

[Drew]

I'm not going to drink the whole thing.

[Enya]

Oh, is that. How is that a heroic dose?

[Kai]

That's a heroic dose. We have neighbor beef. Oh, my God. Did we talk about the dog? Did we talk about the.

[Drew]

No, we haven't talked about the dog.

[Kai]

Oh, my God. Should we talk about that, or what were you going to say?

[Enya]

Say?

[Drew]

Well, I was gonna say because it's just I've never lived in a neighborhood where they're having flex wars with strangers.

[Kai]

It's so crazy. What we got yesterday.

[Drew]

Somebody is getting construction done on their house, and, mind you not bothering me, Never. Never noticed once. Never seen a car until today. Today I'm hearing it, and I wonder if this was, like, a precursor, because she knew they were gonna bring that ass jackhammer out. And she was like, oh, you just wait.

[Kai]

We're reaching the finish line.

[Drew]

Yeah, because she.

[Kai]

I thought she was saying she had cancer and she was gonna die.

[Drew]

No, that's what I thought. What, the woman who was, like, dying?

[Kai]

Yeah. She was like, we're reaching the finish line over here, like, for the past 18 months. And I thought she was battling cancer for 18 months and she was about to die.

[Drew]

But yeah, I thought she was, like, leaving the neighborhood or, like, moving away. Like, I thought some dramatic was happening. No, it's because she's flexing all over us. She's a flexologist. She's getting her house done.

[Kai]

She did invite us over for dinner, though, which I'm like, we should.

[Drew]

She gave us her number. Should we post it?

[Kai]

We should prank call her. We should prank call her.

[Drew]

No, no, no. I want to Google her, though, because. Oh. But it was like, okay, to define. This is the most. Like, I have never engaged with adults like this who are this bored with this much money because to be doing this cracks me up. And I. I want. I want to take it as a nice gesture, but because of what I come from, I'm like.

[Kai]

What is this?

[Drew]

You think you're that girl?

[Kai]

No, we got it. We got to. We're literally in. We're keeping up with the Joneses. You know that saying? No, it's like, oh, your neighbor next door, like, got a new car. So, like. And they park it in the front yard every single day, and it's shiny and sick, and everybody compliments your neighbor. So then it's like, well, I want to feel that like mine. If my neighbor can do that, I can probably do that, so I'm gonna do that. And you, like. It's just like this back and forth where you get a nicer thing and then they get a. It's keeping up.

[Drew]

I am kind of doing it, but my. I have to explain. So basically, we got this expensive box of cookies that's, like, from this really.

[Kai]

Dark, nice, big $120.

[Drew]

It's like the nicest box of cookies you could get in lay. And I would argue that they're not good cookies, but, like, I genuinely am grateful for the gesture, but what cracked up last night? Yeah, the. You and the kids were like, I.

[Kai]

Went ham on those cookies. And this morning, no shade. I ate a cookie for breakfast.

[Drew]

One time, I got into a big argument with my ex because he said that, like, a sweet pastry or something with coffee isn't a breakfast. Like, that's not considered breakfast.

[Kai]

Okay. Where's the joy?

[Drew]

Yeah, loser.

[Kai]

Have fun.

[Drew]

Live a little bit.

[Kai]

Your garbanzo.

[Drew]

Not such a loser anymore. That was, like, the old loser behavior.

[Kai]

Your garbanzo beans and egg whites.

[Drew]

Garbanzo beans and black beans, egg whites.

[Kai]

I swear to God, are the most disgusting.

[Drew]

Was he an egg white connoisseur?

[Kai]

No, I'm just saying egg whites because they're disgusting and ridiculous.

[Drew]

Yeah, I can't. I really can't. Look at him. Look at him. You have a carton of egg whites in your fridge.

[Enya]

No, I eat whole eggs, the yolk and everything.

[Kai]

Okay, good.

[Drew]

Okay. I can't stand a who's.

[Enya]

But I do agree with him that a pastry and a coffee just simply is not a complete breakfast. What do I eat?

[Drew]

But what if you're somebody who doesn't even with breakfast like that, like each their own.

[Enya]

All I'm saying is that a real breakfast is steak, eggs, avocado on a cutting board, kiwi.

[Kai]

Kiwi with the yolk. With the yolk spread over the steak.

[Enya]

Rare I've spread my ass cheeks and let a bunch of sunlight hit my prostate.

[Kai]

I've really wanted to do that. Wait, wait, wait.

[Drew]

What?

[Kai]

Sun your butthole in the backyard.

[Enya]

You know about this?

[Kai]

If you put your butthole where the sun doesn't shine, this is like the.

[Enya]

Whole, like, Joe Rogan universe of guys that are like, I eat steak only guys. The camera died because it's. It's really hot in this room.

[Drew]

It's too hot in here.

[Enya]

It's hot in here. Oh, I was talking about the Joe Rogan guys who are like. Like, they're on the carnivore diet and then they like, walk barefoot and then show their to the sun.

[Drew]

I need that. And then like, to where the shun doesn't thick shaw over my. Over my shoulders and go back and have a steaming hot cup of mushroom tea instead of coffee with the whole cutting board.

[Kai]

Mud, water, Mud, water.

[Drew]

Do, like, people who are living that lifestyle, do they drink coffee?

[Enya]

I think they do, but yeah, they are.

[Kai]

Also, caffeine is a nootropic.

[Enya]

Yeah. They're also drinking other, like, like mushroom teas and stuff. Like the wellness, like, millennial wellness community. Yeah, Yeah, I think so.

[Drew]

Yeah. I think I like, teetered in and out of that, like the whole holistic, like, I'm so back and forth with supplements. Like, sometimes. Actually, no. Recently I've been so bad at it, especially once I got a part of Big Pharma. The holistic lost me. I was like, all right.

[Enya]

Like, millennial men are very susceptible to it. And I actually think it's like, it's like anorexia for like 30 plus year old men. Because I think it's a form of, like, control.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Enya]

I'm getting older. I want to, like, not age, so I'm gonna do all of these things that are insane. Yeah, exactly.

[Kai]

I'm gonna drink lion's mane.

[Drew]

Also. I think a lot more. A lot of girls get Ozempic accusations, but I think a lot of guys are on Ozempic. I think a lot of guys are on Ozempic and it's going under the surf. Like, it's getting brushed under the rug because everybody is so caught up on, like, commenting on women. Start digging through the Instagram.

[Enya]

I love commenting on women of your fave guys.

[Kai]

I know commenting on women's bodies is.

[Drew]

They're on Ozemp too.

[Enya]

You're like, being in my bed on my phone is like, when I'm happy, that's me. But I'm in the comment section and I'm just commenting on everybody post.

[Drew]

A woman, every time she posts, I'm like, you look different here. Something's different about you. You look so good. Yeah. Your body is different in this.

[Kai]

I don't still look so good.

[Drew]

You used to look so good.

[Kai]

What did you do to yourself?

[Drew]

Oh my God. It's happening to you too.

[Enya]

Meanwhile, what they did was like age a year.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Enya]

And they're like, why do you look so different?

[Kai]

Meanwhile, they just worked out.

[Enya]

Yeah. That's another thing I see too is a lot of oic accusations and it'll be like a photo of a female celebrity and they just, their face is slightly more defined because the original is when they were 16 and now they're like 25.

[Kai]

Like that was happening to Millie Bobby Brown. Millie Bobby Brown was like a baby and then turned into an adult in front of everyone. And everyone was just like, you're just like aging rapidly. Like, da da da da da da da da. And it's like, no, she is aging a normal. Yeah.

[Drew]

Also, it's so used to seeing like all these actors and start out as kids and they continue to play younger roles their whole life. So then when you see them off screen and acting like an adult, it's like you look like. Like people literally act like Jenna Ortega is supposed to look like a 12 year old at a gothic school every day with those ponytails, with those damn ass braids. She is 12, bro. Like, she is not that.

[Kai]

Stop infantilize.

[Drew]

I will never get over my favorite like thing. Recently we talked about it. When it happened was when she was seen smoking cigarettes and the Internet was went cuckoo bananas for Jenna Ortega smoking.

[Kai]

Didn't that happen to Justin too?

[Drew]

It happens to everyone. It's amazing. I literally love it. It's so interesting. Like, wow. But I guess maybe that won't be. I think she might be the last celebrity to get that reaction because now most kids, I think, are used to their friends vaping. And so it's like, yeah, let her do that. But I. Maybe cigarettes will always hold. Like, they're just so much more showy than vapes. Like vapes make a big, big cloud. But like a cigarette is such a scene. Like, oh, okay, here this go. She's getting up in the middle of everything cuz she has to go smoke. It's such a, like, ooh, a statement. So I think everyone should go to smoking cigarettes. Leave vapes behind.

[Enya]

Yeah, it's true.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

That's where I stand.

[Kai]

Period.

[Enya]

Period.

[Drew]

Wait, is your chest fine or did you end up getting A sunburn.

[Kai]

I'm burned.

[Drew]

Huh?

[Kai]

I think I'm burned. I haven't looked at myself today.

[Drew]

No, you might be fine. I can't tell.

[Kai]

Should I wear my shirt like this? This is kind of sexy.

[Enya]

Wow. That actually does change your vibes so drastically.

[Kai]

Put it back. I'll put it back. Sorry. It.

[Drew]

Like, you needed sunglasses. Does that make sense? Like, you would be in. You would be somewhere like that with sunglasses. The yellow tint.

[Kai]

Yeah, the yellow tint tin, dude.

[Drew]

Yellow tint. Sunglasses. What they've done, dude. To me, the yellow tin is the equivalent of the Lady Gaga, like, shades or like.

[Kai]

Oh, the cigarettes.

[Drew]

Yeah, the cigarettes. Or the, like. No, what's the one that had the lines through it?

[Kai]

Oh, shutter shades.

[Drew]

Yeah, shutter shades. To me, the equivalent to that of our generation. Clout goggles is. Clout goggles.

[Kai]

Playboy, Cardi. Clout goggles.

[Drew]

Ski goggles.

[Kai]

No, you're gonna gag when you see it. You're gonna.

[Drew]

Oh.

[Kai]

Oh, the.

[Enya]

Are those the Kurt Cobain ones?

[Kai]

Yep.

[Drew]

Yeah. Yeah. See, I. I'm from the generation that recognizes them as the Kurt Cobain glasses.

[Kai]

Those.

[Drew]

Not that Amazon picture. Yeah.

[Kai]

I wanted a pair so bad.

[Drew]

We had a fake pair.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

That we shared when we first started coming to la. Me and Drew would share drip. If you look back, all of our drip was shared.

[Kai]

It was like I had, like. Like, we both had. The only thing that we had our own of and both had were those babe shirts. You had, like, red, I had blue.

[Drew]

Yeah, we did the gender. We've always been obsessed with gender.

[Kai]

I love. I love conforming to gender roles. I literally love it so much.

[Drew]

No, it's so good. It's so comfy in that.

[Kai]

Pink is for girls, blue is for boys. Let's keep it that way.

[Drew]

And purple is for whoever falls in the middle.

[Kai]

And painting your nails is for girls.

[Drew]

Girls. I can't stand a straight guy with nail polish.

[Kai]

I can't stand a straight guy that wears a skirt and paints his goddamn nails.

[Drew]

I actually, like.

[Kai]

I'm sorry. Like, we've. We've had this conversation. It's problematic, probably, but, like, I don't give a. Like, it's performative. It's performative.

[Drew]

It's not real.

[Kai]

There was a video of a guy reading a book, waiting for Claro to come on, and I'm like, you are starving. You. You want play so bad. Bad. Like, you were hungry. Reading a book before a Claro set is crazy.

[Drew]

That has to be. For the. For the moment, though. That has to be. Like, they wanted like, pictures. There's no way they're actually.

[Kai]

He was being dead serious. He was sitting on the ground reading a book. Yes, but waiting for Clara to go on. Clara in one ear, Maria's in the other. A book in my hand.

[Drew]

A book in my hand.

[Kai]

That's how I get the most stepped on mud.

[Drew]

Dirt you've ever seen. My ass on the floor. Was he straight? Do we have confirmation he was straight?

[Kai]

You can tell.

[Drew]

I want to see it. I want to see it. I actually want to see it. I need to see this.

[Kai]

I'm gonna. It's gonna take me forever to find it.

[Drew]

Can somebody do an oil painting of that?

[Kai]

Yeah. That is modern Renaissance.

[Drew]

Yeah. If anybody has the time. Can you make, like, an oil painting that's kind of like a renaissance? Like, very angelic montage of all the men who have been caught on camera the past five months baiting with books out on the. You're literally, like. You're literally posing. Like, it's just so crazy. But, like. No, actually, I genuinely don't think. I don't even think he was doing it for attention. I think he probably is just an intellectual when everybody's like. Like, just really. He just wants.

[Kai]

You're falling for it.

[Drew]

He just wants us, like, what does he look like?

[Enya]

How is it working?

[Kai]

And he's falling for it, right? Because I'm like, wait, she talked herself back. No, I'm doing the thing that I always do where I read a book for the first time in a few months, and then everybody needs to know that I'm reading a book, but I'm reading like. Like, some people are going to roll their eyes when they hear what I'm reading, but I'm reading the Velvet Rage, and it's like, oh, you should have already read that. But, like, that book is scary. I thought I had, like, a normal childhood. I really. I thought I. Like, I went through childhood normal. Normal being gay, obviously. But, like, I thought it was like, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill. Then I started reading this book, and I got 35 pages in and called a new therapist immediately, because I was like, this is crazy.

[Drew]

I want to read it. What is it about?

[Kai]

It's just like, the gay experience. Like, there's like, three stages of it. It's like the beginning stage is like, how you were raised and kind of ostracized from society and then forced to, like, Like.

[Enya]

Like.

[Kai]

I don't know the word I'm looking for, but assimilate, like, basically. And then the second part is like, you Dealing with the repercussions of, like, not getting the love that you needed as a child and the acceptance from your peers and family and, like, how you act out. And that's like the second part that a lot of gay men are in right now, where it's like, you go out a bunch, you're looking for the next high, like, like you're doing whatever drug to dissociate yourself, like, just to run away from it. And then the third section is, like, about radical acceptance and radical honesty with yourself.

[Drew]

And then that's when you move into a small cottage style home on the west side of the US you get lenses that don't need prescription and they're a fun green color. They're thick. You have your favorite sweater.

[Kai]

Let's tap into some media. What, what we're gonna do. Media. Look at all the foggy haze from the vape in front of the camera. This is crazy. We're blowing down in here, bro.

[Drew]

Okay, this room for an episode is.

[Kai]

The Final Destination Bloodline movie. That was fun as. Yeah, it was cute as. Go watch that. It's on hbo. I hate subscription services. They're evil. They just made cable all over.

[Drew]

I know. Also the new. There's this new ass Google update that now it will. It makes it so hard. Hard to figure out if something is streaming or you have to rent it. It feels like every solution is always like, you have to rent it. And then after watching a movie, I'm like, oh, okay, this was on literally eight platforms. But Google just wants me to spend money. But you're not even winning. You're not even winning from that. Actually, you maybe are.

[Kai]

Maybe if you click that, they get a penny. Click the link.

[Drew]

Penny for your thoughts, penny for your thought.

[Kai]

Music. I don't got any new music.

[Drew]

Any new music. Mew Music. Okay, guys. Anyone@mew Mew buy this idea. You start a record label. Mew Music.

[Kai]

Mew Music.

[Drew]

I'm a part of Me music.

[Kai]

Yeah. My media literally is just loving yourself. Appreciate yourself, love your body. You only got one free.

[Drew]

My media is ADHD by Kendrick Lamar. And I wish I was kidding, but, like, that song's been stuck in my head. 90s, baby.

[Kai]

And that JT album.

[Drew]

Yeah, I've been listening to that because I. I just got around to listening to Cindy Cinderella and swing is really good Brick talk.

[Kai]

Like. And yeah, I'm. I'm not joking. Had full body chills too.

[Drew]

Yeah, I literally had goosebumps.

[Kai]

Like, looked at her arm and her arm was like goosebump. Out.

[Drew]

I for real have that polyamorous music thing people talk about like, I actually suffer. It's a, it's suffering because it's like, wow, if somebody plays a song that's so good around me, I'll get goosebumps. And then my nipples get hard and it seems like, oh my God, this is going to work with her. But like, oh, it's got nothing to do with you. If I'm talking to you romantically. No, I'm not. I'm trying to expand my hard.

[Kai]

If you get turned on your nipples. Yeah.

[Drew]

Like, yeah.

[Kai]

Cuz that's like the whole thing of.

[Drew]

Like why hard nipples are like, whoa. Like, yeah. Also when you get colds, I. I feel like nipples are like in general pretty reactive, but also you can be horny and have soft nipples. It's literally, it's low key. Just mad random. Like they do what they they want. But you can activate them. Every girl can activate them.

[Kai]

Random boners.

[Drew]

No, absolutely not. One is like, ooh, that's a fun touch. And even softness nipples. It's like, oh, that's a fun touch. But a boner and. Or a hard. That's a threat. That's literally like, whoa. Like, like, who said what to get it there. A night to remember by Shalimar Lover for life, Whitney Houston. And you're still my man, Whitney Houston. The end. That's my media.

[Kai]

Thank you guys for watching. Next week.

[Drew]

This is an I heart podcast.