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Drew
The weather has been warming up and all I want to do is put on shorts and go out and be with my friends and me. And my friend's favorite pastime, honestly, is concert tickets. I love scrolling through an app like SeatGeek because I can just hit a location. I can go to concerts, I can go to music festivals, I can go to a sports game if I'm actually feeling that crazy. And usually in the summertime, I get that crazy. And you guys can use code emergency10 for 10 off your next set of tickets at Seatgeek. That's 10 off tickets with promo code emergency10. Thank you, Seatgeek.
Kai
Some things work better together. Like NARS soft matte complete concealer and Radiant Creamy Concealer.
Drew
Soft Matte Complete Concealer erases and blurs imperfections with full coverage. Then Radiant Creamy Concealer evens and brightens with a luxurious texture and radiant finish.
Kai
Two concealers, one flawless look.
Drew
Perfect for a no foundation base. NARS better together.
Kai
Visit Ulta to shop now. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. You might say all kinds of stuff when things go wrong, but these are the words you really need to remember. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. They've got options to fit your unique insurance needs, meaning you can talk to your agent to choose the coverage you need, have coverage options to protect the things you value most, file a claim right on the State Farm mobile app, and even reach a real person when you need to talk to someone. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo. It would be cool if you wore those headphones the whole time. It would be like a cool vibe.
Enya
I don't want to wear them because I feel like it up my.
Drew
I was going to say it's.
Kai
Oh, your aura.
Enya
It's going to make me look ugly.
Drew
Oh, I was going to say it's going to make me feel insane saying.
Enya
What do you mean?
Kai
What.
Enya
What were you going to say?
Drew
Cuz he's. If he's. He's ugly without the headphones. Yes or no?
Enya
Guys, I'm getting back to him. This is episode 189. Is that right?
Drew
Numbers my way, bro. Like, that's like 420.
Kai
We thought. It's been a minute since we've popped Kai in here, so we were like, let's do a episode with Kai. Guy has been looking good.
Drew
So we're clipped from me.
Kai
No, like, Kai's been sexy as he's in his office. Siren era. He wore that shirt for the first time to the Greer Pop up show at Heaven. And I complimented him, and I don't think he's taken it off since, genuinely.
Enya
I mean, Josiah also said something nice.
Kai
And then I was like, this is the one.
Enya
This is going to be the thing that I wear for this is the one. Three months.
Kai
It looks good. It looks really good on you. It's super cute.
Enya
Thank you. Yeah. Drew text me. He said, we're going to pop you in here for the next episode. And usually when he texts me that I think something else.
Kai
Yeah.
Enya
So I was like, okay, I'll be over in, like, 30 minutes.
Drew
I can't lie. I forgot you were going to be on camera when I first came in the room.
Kai
And I was like, wait, came in the room? You came in here? Or.
Drew
Oh. Like, that's the first thing I actually do when I enter a home is I go into all the rooms, but I don't actually do it. I manifest, like, the ideologies that come with that physical manifestation.
Kai
Oh, you just. Yeah. Beautiful.
Drew
Well, I realized I don't know how to sound sincere because it's just so hard. Mainly because when I say something nice, I'm like, it sounds like I'm joking. Like, I feel like it just sounds like I'm joking. It sounds like it's not coming out real at all. Like, every time I compliment one of y'all, I feel like I have to follow it up with a mean joke because I'm like.
Enya
I feel like I can only compliment Drew because if I compliment you, that's, like, sexual harassment in the workplace. I genuinely like, every single time, I'm like, oh, I have something nice to say.
Kai
I'm like, don't bite your tongue. Say the nice thing. People need to hear nice things.
Drew
Yeah. But it also doesn't help that our whole friend group, like, no one can say anything nice without somebody saying, like, something sarcastic back. Like, we all are just like, no, I've been.
Kai
I've been learning to take a compliment recently.
Drew
Yeah.
Kai
I'm just like, yeah, give me the compliment and I'll take it.
Drew
But then sometimes I feel bad about taking it.
Kai
Give me the compliment.
Drew
Saying like, oh, thank you. Or like, I know.
Enya
Okay. That was, like, actual sexual tension.
Drew
Disgusting.
Enya
We had. The thing is, we had sex once, and it was so weird.
Kai
It was so weird. Like, you could definitely feel it in the episodes, like, 40. It was 48 through 51.
Enya
Yeah. I think. Oh, yeah. If you guys go watch those, you'll see I'm pretty quiet.
Kai
Yeah.
Enya
During those episodes, because Drew made a big mushroomy hummus release.
Drew
That is like disgusting.
Kai
Like when you guys released out of my skin portal.
Drew
That is like crazy you're talking about. Like, that is. Y'all are harassing me right now.
Kai
Like, I literally am like, ew, we're harassing them.
Drew
Right? Right.
Enya
Just for posterity. I. I've never had sex with Drew. We joke around a lot about it. And also he made me sign something where I have to say that it's all jokes.
Kai
Exactly.
Enya
Except for the one. The one weird time.
Kai
Exactly.
Drew
I kind of think if y'all had sex though, like, I think it would.
Kai
Change things for the better. Like, I really. I really do think it would just like, I think if me and you made love in you, it would.
Drew
Made love, like back the up. Because I would not make love it sex with me.
Enya
But making love with any.
Drew
Well, it's like you're just a toy. Look at you. Look at me and then think about who I am and then think about who you are. Like, this is a making love kind of girl.
Kai
We need. We need to move on. We need to move on. Guys. Kai's episode, let's just get into it.
Drew
Like way out or actually not. We. It's yalls fault. Y'all went on a four minute tangent about wanting to hook up.
Enya
You're 26.
Kai
No, I'm 27.
Enya
You're 27?
Kai
Yeah, that's.
Enya
That's the age that I was when I met you guys.
Kai
Yeah, that's the age my brother died at.
Enya
I got food poisoning at Coachella.
Kai
Oh, Kai shit himself like crazy.
Enya
I had. Okay, so I had these spring rolls because they were like, it's really hard to get food at Coachella. You have to like, wait in a long ass.
Drew
Was there fucking fish in the spring rolls?
Enya
There was some stinky chicken in the spring roll that rearranged.
Drew
I was actually about to back him the fuck out of you. If I just found out that you got raw fish at Coachella when it.
Kai
Was so last year and it's 105 degrees, so.
Drew
And I know, I know there's like food safety, yada, yada, like, still can't like.
Enya
Well, apparently not because I had four. Okay. So the first day I had two spring rolls and I was like, oh, I feel. I feel good. I feel light and like fresh. Like, I feel like I can go like, see more shows.
Kai
You are light.
Enya
Yeah. Yeah. And then so the second day and like, yeah, I like, I was like, oh, I didn't really get stuffed yesterday. I want to feel. I want my Belly to be hard. So I got, like, four of the spring rolls. And then after, I think it was, like, two hours later, it was, like, near kind of the end of the day, I, like, walked off, and I was like, no, something's deeply wrong. And then I destroyed the toilet at Harrison.
Kai
Blew that shit up with.
Enya
And then he was like, oh, we're gonna go to this. Like, it was, like, an after party after the festival, and I think there were, like.
Drew
Like, there's, like. I don't think you understand. For me, personally, there's so many layers to this that are abso. Really, like, disturbing. And also, it's probably because I'm high. So, like, I'm just, like. I'm really, really thinking about the episode.
Enya
Yeah, we're all hot.
Drew
Sucks because in my dreams, I would have decorated the set with, like.
Kai
Yeah, you were talking.
Drew
I was talking a lot of game. But then I woke up, and I was like, bro, here I go. Buying a bunch of that. I'm gonna hang up and then just be like, all right. And, like, throw in a bag and, like, keep it in the closet. And then by next year, I'll be like, these decorations suck. I kind of suck at.
Enya
We should have gotten a breakaway bomb that you could have broken over my head.
Drew
Oh, that would have been cool.
Kai
That would have been a good idea. Wow. Or we could just get a real.
Drew
One, and I'll burn. Yeah.
Enya
That's just so expensive.
Kai
Yeah.
Enya
Well, basically, the summary is that. Sorry, I had a big hummus release at an after party that Justin Bieber was at. So like, 30ft away from me while I was creating a very hot, stinky mud pie in the toilet. Justin Bieber was very close, and if any. And people were, like, really hammered at the party, trying to. Yanking the door.
Kai
Wait, were you so embarrassing, like. Or were you so embarrassed, like, making stink? And then Justin Bieber walks in after you? Like, did you ever have.
Enya
I was flushing like, the. Wouldn't even hit the water. I was just. I had the flush going.
Drew
That is literally. That is so crazy. That is literally a nightmare.
Enya
I know. I was walking to the party because I. We were walking over, and I was like, I feel this searing pain in my abdominal, and I was like, I'm literally going to this party to.
Drew
And had you been drinking?
Enya
No, I didn't drink.
Kai
I was sober at Coachella.
Enya
I was more sober than Drew, more sober than me and tickling me.
Kai
I was, like, tweaking at Coachella. I was having a blast. And actually, it was so funny. We were Walking in, and someone that listens to the podcast, like, was walking with us, and we were just, like, talking, and we took a picture, and then they were like, do you want a shot? Like, one of the friends in their group was like, do you want a shot? Like, let's take a shot. And I was like, literally, yes, let's take a shot. And then the girl that knew me was like, I thought you didn't drink, Drew. I thought you didn't drink. And I was like, girl, it's Coachella. Like, drink. I gotta drink at Coachella. I have to drink at Coachella. So I was blackout drunk for three days at Coachella. Not blackout. Not blackout, not blackout. But, like, I probably each day had, like, three drinks.
Drew
You were black is not, I guess, for you. At this point, I get on an empty stomach. For me, three to four drinks. I am, like, completely wasted, like, at this point, especially because I take Prozac. I've, like, tried to dabble back in drinking, but I'm like, oh, they're not playing, like, a drink in. And I'm like, I should not be anywhere near it. Like, I'm literally just, like, so up.
Kai
No. Yeah. I was tickling Kai on Coachella. It was.
Enya
Yeah. But his mood would switch or go from, like, euphoric to really dark. And then he would just start screaming at me, like, at Main Stage during Lady Gaga.
Kai
Yeah.
Enya
He was like, I'm gonna fucking kill you.
Drew
You're gonna cut this part out, right?
Enya
Yeah. Okay. Okay, yeah, I'll cut it out.
Kai
Yeah. No, I was really angry at Kai because he was dancing with other shirtless gay men.
Enya
And again, yeah, he. He, like, gets really territorial when he drinks.
Kai
I was shirtless all Coachella, too.
Drew
Were you actually?
Kai
No. Oh, God, no. I hate my body.
Drew
Oh, Drew.
Kai
Anybody? No one's complimented my haircut, by the way. No one in the comments has complimented it. None of y'all have complimented it so many times. Okay. But no, wait. Like, where's the compliments?
Enya
Your hair looks great. You look really handsome right now.
Drew
I complimented you the second I saw you. Don't play these weird psychopath games with me. Like, I've already.
Kai
Where's the compliments? I need to see them very sexy.
Enya
You're a very sexually fascinating person to me.
Kai
Oh, that's amazing. That's such a good. That's a good compliment.
Drew
But while y'all were having a blast at Coachella, I. I guess you didn't have a blast. I don't know.
Enya
I had a good time, but I.
Kai
Had a Blast in that toilet.
Enya
Yeah. I had an explosive experience inside of a porta potty at Coachella.
Drew
No, I. I just am, like, in a porta Potty.
Enya
Well, it was like, one of, like, the trailer. It wasn't as bad as.
Drew
Okay, those, like, I' to lie, those kind of piss me off because the flushing mechanism is, like, really, like, such a. So that experience, it's just a trap door. Also, because it's not a porta Potty. It's like, a few people can be standing and lingering in there. It's crazy. I don't know what the boys one look. What is the b.
Kai
It's the same.
Drew
I be in the boys bathroom.
Kai
Like, I be in the boy's bathroom.
Drew
Did you leave after that or did you linger?
Enya
I went to that party. I spent most of the time in the bathroom, and then I left because I was like. Because I was literally just like, I have to do this.
Drew
I pray to God we used hot water.
Kai
What was your favorite moment about Coachella? We were kind of talking about it, but I was like, don't tell me your favorite set.
Enya
Wait, say yours. I'm trying to remember.
Kai
Mine. Mine.
Enya
Oh, I know what it is. Actually.
Kai
You say yours.
Enya
When Bernie Sanders came out, literally was so gag worthy, I swear to God. Like, you see so many famous people at. At this festival, but that is the only time that I was starstruck.
Kai
Yeah.
Enya
I genuinely was like, I'm having an out of body experience, literally.
Drew
Because it's such a wild card.
Kai
It was the most random because you're.
Drew
Used to seeing special guests be, like, artists, and you're hoping, like, people go in with guests they're hoping for because of the songs that person has with other people.
Kai
But, like, I went from Charlie XCX to, like, I was, like, raging at Charli xcx and then, like, floated across because I was like, oh, I need water. And Clara's right there. And we were standing, like, as we were walking, like, Bernie Sanders was just on the screen. And I was like, oh, they're playing a video. And then I, like, turned the corner a little bit and then saw him, and I was like, oh, my God.
Enya
Am I using that right?
Kai
Oh, he's fine. Bernie Sanders is fine.
Enya
Yeah.
Drew
Y'all are disgusting. Like, he's old. That is crazy to see him, though, in person, like, because he's that old. That's how I felt when I saw, like, a John Waters in person. Because I'm like, damn. You're at that age where, like, seeing you genuinely feels like, yeah, Also, like, the place me seeing John Wires. I saw him at a vintage fair. That makes more sense. Like, y'all seeing Bernie Sanders at Coachella is like, shelly, dude.
Kai
No, it was crazy. He started singing sexy to someone, but no one posted it online.
Enya
No one was posting because everyone was so gagged.
Kai
Yeah. And he was gagged. Yeah, he was. Why are you everyone asking me that?
Enya
I'm just asking.
Kai
But, yeah, he was, like, shaking and throwing ass. Like, it was crazy. He popped out with a new bbl. Like, I was literally.
Enya
His body worked. Crazy.
Kai
His body was.
Enya
Again, no photos of his ass.
Kai
Yeah, first.
Enya
Yeah.
Drew
I always. I guess the only shots I saw was, like, when he was talking, and, like, it was a video of the screen, so. And it was his upper body, so I didn't see all that he had going on.
Enya
Like, out of respect. The cameraman only showed from the waist up.
Kai
Yeah, but all of us saw it. It was really. It was really nice.
Enya
Yeah, he has kind of like an hourglass silhouette.
Kai
But, no, that was. That was sweet. I did, like, seeing Bernie Sanders at Coachella. That was like a movie.
Enya
Oh, were you at the club and.
Drew
You guys saw Lady Gurga?
Kai
Yeah. Gaga. I was supposed to say. That was. That was my favorite. That was.
Enya
And there were no gay people there. I didn't know.
Kai
Not a single gay person was there. The thing with Gaga is, like, we know this. I love her to death. And I would. I'm not even kidding. She's, like, one of the very few people on this planet that I would take a bullet for. Like, I'm being dead serious. But she makes me laugh so hard, unintentionally, like. Like, her dancing with those skeletons was, like, literally the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life. Like, what is she doing? Like, but I feel that, like, love her. Love her.
Drew
It's because I feel like we're too, like, irony poison. Yeah. Like, it's too irony poisoned. So you can see something and immediately see the comedy in it. And then it's still. Because, like, if you look at a lot of the shit we like, so much of the. I, like, makes me crack up because it's so theatrical. But that's why I love it because I'm like. It's so. Like, people are seriously giving a. I feel like I'm. You know what I used to hate on the Hamilton Hoes, but, like, now I get it because I'm like, yeah, there's something incredible about just, like, letting loose and being filmed. Like, you de gas and it could be serious.
Enya
Daddy needs to get more water. I just have to get more water. So if her daddy has to get more water. So if I. If we could pause.
Kai
Daddy, Daddy, can you get more water?
Drew
No, that's actually just. No, I don't, like, I genuinely don't with that and you calling yourself like, we haven't been like, no, you're not getting away with that. That's like, gross.
Kai
Daddy, can you get me water?
Enya
Yes, of course, baby. Okay. Let me get baby some water.
Kai
Okay. I asked Chat GPT before this to come up with questions tailored specifically to Kai Newman of Emergency Intercom.
Drew
Oh, my God.
Kai
Nice choice. Kai Newman's got a mix of chaotic humor and surprising depth. So here's a list of podcast questions tailored to his Emergency Intercom energy. Funny, weird, introspective and sexy and very. Kai, you talk a lot about India being perceived. What's something you wish people saw in you more?
Drew
Do you talk about that? Like what?
Enya
I don't know. Does it know who I am actually, or did you like.
Kai
No, it.
Enya
It give it context.
Kai
I gave it a little context.
Enya
What do I wish people knew about me more? I have a body count of in the single digits. I am obsessed with helping women. I feel like I never talk about that.
Kai
Yeah, you don't get it.
Enya
Oh, by the way, congratulations, Katy Perry.
Kai
Oh, going to space.
Enya
Yeah. For. For not only that, but basically getting rid of sexism.
Kai
That is true also.
Drew
Who's Katy Perry?
Kai
She. Katy Perry is obviously in Kia Asylum. She flew to space trying to escape Kia Asylum, but it just sent her into the basement.
Drew
Katy Perry is obviously a battery, and they needed to charge her by getting her out of this atmosphere. It only took 10 minutes because she's like, think of it, her like a USB C. Did you charger.
Kai
Did you see the video of Oprah, like, literally having a full blown fudgeing panic attack? Like, freaking the fudge out over her friend, like, going to space because she thought, like, she was about to watch her friend, like, explode into a million pieces. Dude, Gayle King. Gail King.
Drew
Sorry, but, like, the whole thing is fudgeing bat shit. Can y'all go back to just being happy to see people wave off in boats? Like, I love all that not grand and the Titanic.
Enya
Like, I love all the comments that are like, we just want health care.
Drew
No, literally, like, what? What? It's so insane. And then there's also for Easter. We all know the egg situation that's been happening. They are still using 30,000 real eggs to throw around in grass. And I'm like, this. Wait, who is really the White House? You know, they do the fucking, like, 30,000, 30 every year. It's like, I think they purchase and then some are donated from farmers. But obviously, like, bitch. Like. Like, people need. Like. Like, we, like, had a hungry egg. Scarcity. Like, we can't just give you guys the fucking eggs to play with. And they were like, yeah, we're still using eggs. And then they also sent Katy Perry. What's crazy is I'm like, bitch, you almost got through. You. You. You literally, like, you almost got through. You gave an album that people really whatever. But, like, people are still like, it's album. It's like, why did you go to space?
Enya
Well, she went to space to fix sexism and everything, basically.
Kai
Yeah.
Drew
I mean, true. And like, look, it's cast.
Enya
In all seriousness, it is really nice to see on every single one of those videos, like, bro, we just want healthcare. Because I'm like, I feel like that awareness wasn't really there, like, 30 years ago when not even signaling things. Well, it is nice.
Drew
I don't know. That they were sending Frank Sinatra to space so that his album could do better on Billboard Top 100. Like, I don't.
Kai
Yeah, I want to know.
Drew
I don't really think that was the vibe.
Kai
Like, I want to know. I want to know, like, what her team, like, thought would come out of Katy Perry going to space. Like, they were like, this is a good idea. Like, you're going to space. Like, I don't know. I just want.
Drew
Has it been to space? Beyonce hasn't been to.
Kai
You're going to be the first pop star to space.
Drew
Like, that's how they were, like, all thinking about it. They're like, yeah, yeah, sure, sure. Beyonce. Top Beyonce. Beyonce. Like, Beyonce's Beyonce. And she will.
Kai
Katy Perry, space girl. Now.
Drew
Doesn't she have a song?
Kai
Yeah, I was gonna say she has.
Drew
Like, oh, my God, dude. I think they really thought that was gonna go so, so much differently.
Kai
Has. Has emergency intercom changed how you see yourself?
Enya
It absolutely has. I feel. Okay. I feel like a side effect of, like, being an Internet content creator. I've always. I think I've talked to you about this, but I feel like there's a level of, like, pseudo schizophrenia that it gives you because you're basically. It's. It's basically impossible to not ingest what people's perspectives are of you, and they can only see.
Kai
It's not perspective. It's actually perspective. Sorry, I just wanted to correct you.
Enya
Okay. That Was a good point. And thank you. I honestly thank you.
Kai
Perspective.
Drew
Okay. What was your perspective?
Enya
Well, I was gonna say, like, seeing how other people perceive you can obviously have an effect on how you are. And there's a level of compartmentalizing that you should do, and it's healthy to do, but it's. It is impossible to not. I feel like. Okay, for example, there will be these comments that are like, oh, Kai's laugh is very eager today. Like, he definitely is seeking. You know, when you'll get those comments that are sometimes, like, psychoanalyzing you. And I'll listen to it. I'll be like, I get. I guess it was. I don't know, like, maybe it's convincing.
Kai
Wait, Kai's laugh was eager? Today is the funniest thing I've ever heard. But, like, that would really shift, like, a lot of things in my brain. Like, that would change me.
Enya
Yeah.
Kai
I think fundamentally, that single comment.
Drew
Okay, like, chill. Like, he got the comment.
Enya
Yeah. Sometimes, like, comments like, psychoanalyzing ones, definitely I'll view those and be like, okay. It's very hard to not separate, like, who the idea of this person is through the show and, like, who I actually am.
Kai
Exactly.
Enya
Which does have an effect. But also I'm like, I think I am pretty good at separating it and being like, well, that's not. That's just a slice of my life. It's not my whole.
Kai
Everybody sound off in the comments and psychoanalyze Kai. He's gonna read all of them. Yeah, please don't do that.
Enya
Please don't do that. I'll kill myself.
Kai
Let's take a break to thank one of today's sponsors, Liquid iv. Y'all, I was just at Coachella and Liquid IV literally saved my life. I was drinking the sugar free white peach flavor because it is famously my favorite flavor. Dehydrated in the 100 degree weather. Papa Liquid IV in my Coachella water bottle.
Drew
Problem solved. Yeah. I feel like the hotter it gets, the more likely I am to be outside. And despite the weather, if I'm out and about at social gatherings, I will not be drinking water. So I make it a point every day to take a Liquid IV in the morning. My flavor is lemon lime. I literally just. I have it down in my own ritual. I just wake up, I have a cup of water, then I have a cup of water with Liquid iv. Then I take all my vitamins and I take my medications, and I know that I'm set for the rest of the day.
Kai
Break the mold and Own your ritual. Just one stick in 16 ounces of water hydrates better than water alone. Get ready for summer with extraordinary hydration from Liquid IV. Get 20% off your first order of Liquid IV when you go to Liquid I.com and use code emergency at checkout. That's 20% off your first order with code emergency@liquid I.com. hey guys, we want to take another break to thank one of today's sponsors, Shopify.
Drew
Thank you, Shopify. Shopify has just simplified E commerce, especially for small businesses and honestly for huge businesses as well. And that, to me, is a sign that it's a right path to take if I'm going to be selling something online. They keep everything in one easy, accessible portfolio. Whether you're looking through analytics for abandoned carts or analytics for how many people in certain states buy your things, everything is there.
Kai
You ever notice that purple shop pay button and how easy it makes buying something online? Well, but you didn't know. That button is a tall tale sign that it was powered by Shopify. Shopify doesn't just make it easy to buy though. It makes it incredibly easy to start a business, no matter your experience. It's why Shopify is the best converting checkout on the planets.
Drew
If you want to see less carts being abandoned, it's time for you to head over to Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shop.comintercom go to shopify.comintercom Cha Ching.
Kai
What's the weirdest hill you'll die on that Drew and Enya hates?
Enya
These are like Cosmo questions.
Kai
Yeah, what do we hate?
Enya
Probably that I'm a feminist and that my body count is in the single digits.
Drew
Oh, my God. That should be like, that's not that.
Enya
Something that everyone else.
Drew
That's actually super common. Like, I think, like, a lot of people are like, chilling in the single digits.
Kai
Like, if you could invent a new kind of therapy that only works for you, what would it involve?
Enya
One that, you know, there. I did the ketamine therapy.
Kai
Have you tried emdr?
Enya
No, I did tms.
Kai
I want to try EMDR badly.
Drew
Wait, how do they get boys to try pms?
Enya
No, I said no.
Kai
The electronic system that he put on.
Enya
But that's funny that you say that because I did enter this clinical trial so that I could experience a female period for just. For better knowledge of, like, just to understand. And basically after we did the period simulator, I was like, I need to learn more about this.
Kai
Need to know more tms. You said oh, yeah.
Enya
So the therapy. I did the ketamine therapy. And I've always thought about this. It helped me at that point in my life. I don't do it anymore. But I was like, oh, what about, like, coke therapy, where basically you just, like, do coke alone and molly therapy. Molly therapy would be good.
Kai
Coke therapy. Heroin.
Enya
Heroin therapy. I think it'd be really nice to just relax for people that have trouble relaxing.
Kai
That helps people sleeping, put them to sleep.
Drew
To get better. Because I thought you were saying you were feeling better.
Kai
Well, no, he was doing popper therapy to feel better.
Enya
I'm just saying these.
Drew
Literally me in 2019, like, what?
Kai
And you would wake up and do poppers?
Drew
Yeah, I was obsessed, to say the least.
Kai
Okay, wait, let's ask one more of these weird, creepy questions. What's a memory from your childhood that feels like a fever dream now?
Drew
Oh, that's like, jarring. I was.
Enya
I have one, actually.
Kai
What is it?
Enya
When I was in high school, I did, like, a work to live thing in Costa Rica on, like, a. A farm, basically. And we made enough money to travel for the last, like, four days.
Kai
How old were you?
Enya
I guess childhood, but I guess I was like, 16. But I feel like. Like I'm still kind of a baby. You know what I mean?
Drew
You're a baby.
Enya
I feel like I'm.
Drew
Yeah. In the grand scheme of things, I'm.
Enya
Still a boy and a lot.
Kai
You're a baby.
Enya
I'm still growing.
Drew
If you were Katy Perry in the spaceship looking down like, Kai is nothing but a baby in this green.
Enya
Exact. So the last, like, three days of the trip, we went to this hostel and there were these college kids there, and they were like, do you want to get really drunk with us and play card games? And it was the first time I ever got drunk and I got really fucking faded. And we all went skinny dipping. Like, me and all these college students went skinny dipping.
Kai
That's so.
Enya
And there were. There was bioluminescent algae in the water. And I remember being super baited. And it was like the first time I got drunk, too, which is like, basically just pure euphoria. I feel like ever since the first time I drank, I'm like, every drinking, you're chasing that. Like, yeah, yeah. Which I am now realizing is exactly what addicts say. I'm not. I'm not an alcoholic. But basically we were in the water and I was like. Everyone was, like, swimming around and. And like, laughing and being young. And I looked up and it was like a full moon too.
Kai
Oh, my God.
Enya
And it was just. It was incredible.
Kai
That sounds like a little like the most mag moment you can ever experience.
Enya
Yeah, it was really magical. I remember in that moment being like, I'm going to cherish this memory.
Drew
In that moment, you were infinite.
Kai
Is that why you have the infinity tattoo Tramp stamp?
Drew
Getting is a bit wild, but, like.
Enya
I actually, like, supposed to be Patreon content.
Kai
Oh, sorry.
Drew
What? No, you show that thing everywhere. You show it to everyone you meet.
Enya
No, I don't.
Drew
Yeah, and then sometimes his butt crack accidentally leaks out and we have to like, tap and be like, yo.
Enya
Like, yeah, sometimes my big perfect butt crack falls out when I'm showing people my tattoo.
Kai
Wait, you need to tell them about your diet right now, by the way. I mean, you don't have to, but.
Enya
Like, Kai is like, it's really interesting.
Kai
The. He is eating like. It's called the purge diet, right?
Enya
No, it's what you eat if you're in the purge. Oh, you basically just eat batteries.
Kai
Yeah.
Enya
No, I was gonna say. Oh. So I've been having really life threatening anaphylactic shock, allergic reactions to something over the past two years where basically I would randomly break out into hives and I would have to go to the hospital.
Kai
And they just can't pinpoint what it.
Enya
They don't know what's causing it. So I've done all these tests over the years.
Drew
Oh, my God.
Enya
And the final thing they have you do is called an elimination diet where.
Kai
You elimination, not purge.
Enya
They basically. Yeah, they basically. They're basically just pitching you an eating disorder.
Kai
Basically. That's what it sounds like. Yeah.
Drew
I was gonna say Sabrina had something similar to this and they gave her a crazy list and I think she tried to find. She was like, this is. Honestly.
Enya
This is the ED diet.
Kai
Yeah, this is the erectile dysfunction diet. That's what y'all mean by that, right?
Drew
Oh, yeah, he. But he had that before. He's always had that. So it's like not. It's like an easy pitch.
Kai
No, he doesn't.
Enya
No, my penis freaking works.
Kai
No, he doesn't.
Enya
Basically, I only eat chicken, rice, olive oil, apples, broccoli, cauliflower, and blueberries. But I'm adding back in eggs this week. Yeah, it's amazing.
Drew
I guess I'm making that sound. But, like, that's a really balanced diet that, like, isn't that crazy. But it's. You can't have, like, anything fun. Can you have tomatoes?
Enya
No.
Drew
Why? Too acidic?
Kai
Shade.
Drew
Like, seriously.
Enya
I think it's like there's histamines and tomatoes. I don't know. But basically, I've almost died multiple times, and you guys have almost lost me. And I'm doing this for the podcast, not even for myself.
Kai
Thank you.
Enya
Thank you.
Kai
I think the tone of voice I have is invisible.
Enya
What? What did you say? I didn't. Did you hear something in you see?
Kai
Exactly.
Drew
No, don't.
Kai
No. Every time I'm out and I'm talking, every time I'm talking in a group of people, I literally get violently ignored. And I don't know if it's what I'm saying.
Enya
You have a really good tone. I think. I feel like when I'll be editing the podcast, sometimes I'm like, you have, like, an audiobook voice.
Kai
Stop.
Drew
And what about me?
Enya
Your voice is good, too.
Drew
I actually think I have a really fucking irritating voice. Like, I think. And it only. The more I smoke, the worse it gets.
Enya
Like, your voice is good, too. I just don't. Didn't want to sexually harass you in the workplace.
Kai
That's very sweet of you, Kai.
Enya
I need to get over that, though.
Drew
This is how I feel about you. Andrew. Good morning. That baby speaking to you. Say good morning. And.
Enya
Oh. Oh, I'm sorry.
Drew
Natural reaction. I'm ready to jump on this table. Like, that's literally how I feel when someone's ignoring my friend in a conversation. Like, and I guess I'm somebody who runs over people, but I think I am good at looping back and asking what the someone was saying, and you're.
Kai
Immediately just getting on ig.
Drew
Well, it's just like, once Tik Tok is open, it's like my monkey brain gets activated.
Kai
Kai, what's your love language?
Drew
Acts of service.
Enya
The type of head where you have to wipe your ass after. I actually don't know, to be honest.
Kai
I think it's actually that one time.
Enya
And I was like, I think. I guess that's true.
Kai
You're literally putting WI fi in our house.
Drew
Yeah.
Enya
Oh, Love language can be like, what you are.
Drew
Yeah. Love language is, like, the way you give it to people. And, like, when people ask it, it's kind of like, I feel like people ask it in relationships and friendships so that there's not a miscommunication of whether the person cares about you. Because some people aren't, like, vocal. Like, I don't know if you're. No, you're kind of a vocal person too. You're like, kind of a words of, like, affirmation. Ass.
Enya
I think it's more Acts of service recently, I don't think it was always like that. I think I used to express my love for my partners or my friends by buying them like Lamborghinis and Birkins.
Kai
Whatever, whatever.
Enya
Doesn't matter. But yeah, as a result, I do think how you look like David Dobrik.
Drew
Don't say that to him. That's pushing it. Why would you look, you made it sad.
Kai
It.
Drew
You made it sad.
Enya
What the fuck? I'm just like, what?
Kai
Sorry. Keep going.
Enya
Oh, yeah, I think it is Acts of service. I think it is.
Kai
Yeah.
Enya
Because I think as I get older, I'm like, that is more real and it feels more intimate and like, not in like a sexual way, obviously, but it does feel like you're investing your time in something which is the scarcest resource.
Drew
Well, it's because it's like putting in the work. Like it's. Recently I feel like I've tried to get better at not being so overly apologetic because that can put it onto the person. And then you're basically asking for somebody to console you for how apologetic and bad you feel. And to me, I'm like, a real apology is showing up either next time or showing up in an active service way to just be like, I wasn't there to do my best, but like, you know, I'm like, here and like every other way.
Kai
Exactly. I think that's mine too. I love like doing little. I love like hearing like little one off comments that people make and then like, like planting it in my brain and then like later, like either like getting them something that's like relating to that or doing something for them that's related to that, that's like, I need.
Enya
To get better at gift giving. That's like, I'm. I'm really bad. I remember for. For your birthday this year, I was like, here, I got you a vape. And then I like just hit it the whole time while we were working on.
Kai
You got you a vape.
Enya
I know. I left it. I fortunately left it. Yeah, I left and I was like, that was a bad gift.
Kai
No, I loved it. I literally. I love any gift I get.
Drew
Yeah, I don't think it like matters sometimes. I like, like that. I'm like, it's utilitarian. I'm like, okay, that's like getting him.
Kai
So it's literally just the. Even the idea of someone like thinking about any capacity just like is very sweet to me. Even if it is just a clear vape.
Drew
Yeah. I don't know what mine are. Mine. My like, love languages are being loco while I'm.
Enya
While I'm on camera. I just thought I'd pitch you guys some segment ideas for the show. Yeah, okay. Let me check my notes. Just videos of me working out and eating. We could just cut to that.
Kai
Oh, like, like, feeder content.
Enya
Getting big, eating a lot so that.
Kai
Like, milkshakes being poured on you.
Enya
Milkshakes into my mouth and I could all over myself.
Kai
You know what's crazy is you and I, we. I don't know why we do this. Actually, I do, because it's hilarious. But me and Kai just send each other, like, feeder content. And, like, I had, like, a very curated, like, the most curated, like, IG account ever. So I would scroll through and it was just completely. It was just like, all, like, people creating the art I want to see. And, like, it. It was just beautiful. And then for, like, I want to.
Drew
See is, like, amazing, because it really is.
Kai
No, it's like people, like, creating art, like, literally painting and shit and like, that. This is what I want to see.
Drew
Like, AI genuinely can't replace, like, the passion that drives behind that.
Kai
No, literally. And Kai and I back and forth, just sent each other, like, five feeder videos in my feed from then till now is literally just all weird kink shit. Like, literally, like, inflating king.
Enya
I mean, we had that one week where we were going crazy. And then I know my Explore page was, like, pretty normal. And then after that, it was just all videos of guys, like, pulling up their shirts and their bellies would, like, expand out. And then the photo of Mark Zuckerberg, like, on his. His knees.
Kai
Yeah. I was like, what the fuck? Are you looking for it?
Enya
Yeah. I was like, I don't.
Drew
Okay, that is insane. But also, I don't know if I guess my discovery feed, especially on my finsta, is not any better. I was showing you, like, the kind of shit I like pretty rotted. It's, like, pretty fucking insane because it's just. I have to look. I don't think I'd be able to find this girl's account. But this girl's account was cracking me up because her name was, like, Wild Soul or something. Like, her username was Wild Soul something style. And her bio was Wild Artist was like, her. And these. Like, she had crazy body. Body was tea. But all she would post is her. And those leggings with the ridge in the middle of the butt cheek, so it makes your ass even bigger. And she had, like, a very nice butt. And it's just her walking, shaking her Ass, like, grinding on things, working on, like, a workout fall, and I was like, lit. Like, it's literally amazing. Some people just love it. Like, what's your other segment?
Enya
Oh, the other segment was I just talk about all the fucked up shit that's happened to me at this job. Like, what job? My job as the producer of Emergency Intercom.
Drew
Okay.
Enya
Basically, I could talk about stuff like, oh, whenever I go to the bathroom, Drew makes me pee into the water so that he can hear it. Or into Ziploc bags.
Kai
The pee into the water isn't weird. I just want to hear your stream.
Drew
Where else would you pee?
Enya
On the side of the bowl to be polite and be demure.
Kai
It is on the side of the bowl. Yeah, the bags, I will say is weird, but I just use them as moisturizer later.
Drew
Oh, okay. It's like an acid peel.
Kai
Yeah.
Drew
Yeah.
Enya
Except my PH is perfect. My perfect elimination ph.
Drew
That is disgusting. He doesn't make you do that? Because I never see bags of pee.
Enya
Anywhere because he snatches them immediately.
Kai
I. I make him do that.
Enya
So, yeah, that could be like a behind the scenes, like a day in the life as a producer.
Kai
That'd be cool.
Enya
I think it'd just be videos of me peeing into bags. Oh, I wanted to show you guys something for Enya since she wasn't at Coachella.
Kai
Oh, she's fierce. We really just do.
Drew
I love her so much.
Kai
Like, that's awesome.
Enya
So I need to see Josiah enter a concert like that.
Drew
I love that. Like, I love that. That makes me happy. Like, yes. Performance is back.
Enya
When I saw that, I thought of you. I was like, I wish. I wish Anya was here to witness this.
Kai
Oh, my God. I literally. I'm not kidding.
Drew
I think I would have cried. Cuz. Did I tell you about when I cried? When I saw Doa Cat like, live at Heaven, like, at the Heaven concert, something about it just, like, made me cry because I just couldn't believe she was, like, a real person.
Kai
I did that at Coachella. I literally cried at the LA Philharmonic. Just looking around at the people all smiling and like, yeah. So happy.
Enya
Did you go to the LA Phil?
Kai
Yeah, of course. Yeah.
Enya
People at my house were like, who the fuck is watching that? Just imagine you standing there.
Drew
No, literally, when we saw Spiritualized, when we went to Coachella, that was my favorite part. And I feel like that would have been, like, closest to that.
Kai
I literally have that written down as, like, one of my favorite moments was the Philharmonic. It was beautiful.
Drew
You, like, you're literally dressed up like a little nerd. And you're not even about the nerd.
Enya
I look professorial.
Kai
No, Kai is not a nerd. He's an office siren.
Enya
Yeah, I'm an office siren. People all agree whenever I post a photo, everyone's like, unanimously, like, yes, I know, right?
Kai
It's 100%.
Enya
That's what people are talking about when they say office iron.
Drew
That's the only part of me that's sad that I missed Gaga is because I've already seen her live. But, like, the theatrics of it all, I would have cried. I would have been so happy. It would have made me laugh.
Enya
Like, so awesome.
Drew
The laughing comes from a love surge.
Kai
Wait, Kai, did she invite you, or. I think it might have just been me, but Gaga invited me into her trailer afterwards, and we, like, hung out. Yeah, you definitely weren't in. No, he was just.
Enya
No, I wasn't.
Kai
It was there.
Enya
I didn't know that this happened.
Kai
It was just me and Gaga, and she was just like. We were, like, hanging out for a little bit, and she was like, oh, like, I know your dad. Like, your dad's a really big fan of mine. Like, he's. He's, like, a big fan. I know him. And then he was like, oh, my God, it's you from the English teachers and their gay students picture. Like, that's really funny. Like, oh, yeah. You were at the Joker 2 screening that I spoke.
Drew
Oh, wow.
Kai
She, like, remembered me and everything, and she was like, oh, do you want to, like, get on my helicopter back to la? Like, we're just, like, dipping immediately, and we're just gonna go hang out. Yeah. And I went back to LA and did a bunch of blow with Gaga, and then I came back in her helicopter. She sent her helicopter back.
Enya
This is actually reminding me of another segment. Lies that are told on the podcast, and then I, like, reveal them. Just. Just a thought.
Drew
We don't lie.
Kai
I've literally never lied once in my life.
Drew
We. We joke around and we get silly, but we don't lie.
Kai
That. And that's actually really problematic for you to say that I lied about.
Enya
Yeah. How is that problematic?
Drew
What have we lied about?
Enya
Like, so much stuff. What he just said. You think he went and did coke with Lady Gaga?
Drew
Yeah. Drew's never lied to me. Drew. Drew doesn't lie.
Kai
And I had sex with Kanye and Drake.
Enya
Yeah, that I believe.
Kai
Yeah, that's actually real. No, that actually literally did happen. Like, I framed it as.
Enya
That did happen.
Kai
I know I framed it as a bit but that, like, literally did it.
Drew
No, you shouldn't. You, like, you shouldn't even be saying that kind of stuff. Yeah, I can't even lie. I want those ass bangs, though. I want the bang.
Enya
I just see, like, the Josiah version of this in the year 2030.
Drew
That is Josiah Emmy picture.
Kai
That literally is.
Drew
The hands pose is also like.
Enya
Yeah.
Kai
What else do you want to talk about? I see a no smoking sign on your phone.
Enya
Oh, I just thought this was cool.
Kai
Please, Zayn. I thought it was like a Zen joke, but, like. Zayn Malik.
Enya
No, I just like the idea.
Kai
Did y'all also cut for Justin Bieber when that was going down? I was. I sliced my wrists up. I was.
Enya
No, I. I cut for Chicken Jockey.
Kai
Chicken Jockey? What is that from the Minecraft movie?
Drew
Like, I can't believe y'all are still saying that kind of Chicken Jockey.
Kai
Oh, cutting for Chicken Jockey.
Enya
Yeah, that was in my notes. I was going to say maybe another segment where whenever you guys go on your phones during the episode, I throw tomatoes at you.
Kai
Boo. Tomato. And you. Boo.
Enya
Yeah. And then you guys could retaliate and be like, fuck you. And then spank me over the. Over the.
Kai
Wait, Kai, do you want to hit me? You've never got to hit me.
Enya
I've hit you.
Kai
Well, no, like right now on camera. You hit me behind closed doors.
Enya
Wait, yeah, I mean, I would love that. Yeah, do it.
Kai
I can sing.
Enya
That was really nice.
Drew
Oh, my God.
Enya
Oh, no. I spilled my water when I was hitting you.
Drew
Oh, so now you need to get more or what?
Kai
So now you need a little. Little spank.
D
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Drew
Hey there, travelers. Kaley Cuoco here. Sorry to interrupt your music, great artist, btdubs, but wouldn't you rather be there to hear it live? With Priceline, you can get out of your dreams and into your dream concert. They've got millions of travel deals to get you to that festival, gig, rave, sound bath, or sonic experience you've been dreaming of. Download the Priceline app today, and you can save up to 60 off hotels and up to 50 off flights. So don't just dream about that trip. Book it with Priceline. Go to your happy price price line. Okay. Well, I have to admit something. I think some stinks smell really good. And for one, when I was a kid, I thought. I thought fish food actually smelled really good and I would eat it as a kid.
Kai
You ate fish food?
Enya
That's. It does smell kind of good. I swear it does smell good.
Drew
And I, like, I never ate it in, like, surplus.
Enya
Like, an umami. An umami scent?
Drew
Yeah. Like, it's like, to me, it's like.
Kai
A six flavor profile.
Drew
Well, there was this one specific fish food I'm thinking of, and it was these flaky ones that, like, the rainbow ones, maybe.
Kai
Yeah, the rainbow flakes. I cannot support or get behind this argument, like, for the first time.
Drew
Not an argument. It's my truth. Like, wow, why even make it like that? Like, I just thought, like, I could be vulnerable and tell you guys.
Enya
It activates the same part of my brain that, like Doritos or, like, gasoline.
Drew
Yeah, like, drink gasoline. I want to drink fabulous. So, like, I want to chew on dishwasher pods, if I'm being honest. Like, oh, my God, I would love to challenge. Yeah.
Kai
That ruined my life when you almost.
Drew
Got banned from YouTube. Nyquil.
Kai
I literally, like, didn't make money for, like, five years on YouTube because I made Nyquil chicken and I lit it on fire. Which is crazy. That NyQuil is that flammable, by the way.
Enya
Is it.
Kai
Fun fact, if you want to burn a house down, just, like, pour NyQuil and light it on fire.
Drew
Oh, my God.
Kai
Yeah. No, it's, like, really flammable. Yeah. So butthole, gay, poopy fart butt. And if your butthole is gay, you, like, do a popper with a poop in your butt, and then you can, like, crap out the poop.
Drew
Wait, so you ate dog food, though, right, or.
Kai
No, I ate bacon strips.
Drew
Okay, see, that's. That's crazy. Like, that versus just dry dog.
Kai
And the greenies. The, like, waxy greenies.
Drew
That's.
Kai
They had a good bite to them.
Enya
Do you guys have any more incredible questions to ask Daddy before or me before?
Kai
If you were a cryptid, what would your name and habitat be?
Enya
If I was encrypted?
Kai
Oh, no. If you were a cryptid, what is that? Like a creature? A creature like the Locked Noctis monster is a cryptus?
Drew
Yeah, Loch Ness.
Kai
The like duendes.
Enya
If I was a duende, I feel.
Drew
Like I'd be a dwinde.
Kai
Honestly. Make us all three laugh so hard. Like the word duende, like the idea of them like the president of Mexico, like getting on live television, talking about doing.
Enya
When I first met you guys, I pulled up a duende compilation. Yeah, those videos are so.
Kai
They're the best videos ever.
Enya
Yeah, I would be a duende.
Kai
How do you handle feeling disconnected, either from yourself or others?
Drew
Oh my God. This is like.
Enya
Honestly the answer to that is like I. And I'm not joking when I say this. My friend who used to be like an addict, she now, I guess something that they say in AA meetings is the opposite of a. The opposite of addiction is connection. And I don't know, I. She's always like been like, oh, that's like one of the tenants of this thing. And I, I do think that everyone feels disconnected. You don't be like an addict, feel disconnected. Most people are addicts to like something. Not like in a way that's going to send you to the hospital, but everyone has. Creates their own mechanisms to deal with stress, whatever. And I always thought you're smart and.
Kai
Sexy, you're intelligent, you really are.
Enya
I always thought that that was corny. Honestly, I was like, that sounds just like something people say in a support group. And I do, I. I honestly do think that, that it helps so much because I am not an addict. But I do feel like there's. Anyone can see that there's things in place in our lives that are easily ways to cope with stuff, whether it's like watching TV or playing fucking Fortnite all the time.
Kai
And the Tramadol in my bedroom.
Enya
Yeah, yeah, the 150 tramadol. Andrew's bad. I do think that actually spending good quality time with people does help me feel less like a bug or like a brain inside of a jar, you know, like the opposite of me going on TikTok for hours. Yeah. And me becoming a circuit board. I do honestly think that it's like, it's.
Drew
I feel like I'm more like a drum pad.
Kai
Like the silent ones that like, like.
Enya
And here's a rose toy.
Kai
Whoa. What am I, guys?
Drew
Thanks, bro.
Kai
Oh, my God. Nothing. Apparently you are.
Enya
The sniffy's up. I don't know, I just have to.
Drew
You are all.
Kai
I am all. Wait, I am literally all hermself. Both. Both.
Drew
Oh, yeah, you were. You don't know what we're talking about.
Enya
I have no idea. I feel so left out.
Drew
Clip from. What's it called?
Kai
The model movie. With this.
Drew
With Ben. Yeah.
Kai
And Benedict Humphrey. Backstack.
Enya
Is he in that?
Kai
Yes. And his character's name is all. And he's like this androgynous being and the name all is so funny. And he's like, I'm all everything. And he is a she also.
Enya
That's so.
Kai
I don't know. Last dream you remember vividly having. These are rapid fire, by the way, so hurry the up.
Enya
I have to say something that. That's hard though, because it's hard to remember dreams. I had a dream recently that I. There was fires starting around la and I kept watching them start and everything was burning down and every time they would start, I would like, try and get it out and then my thing would like burn.
Kai
Like that complex. Yeah, I. I have have sex dreams. Down.
Enya
How often? Pretty frequently.
Kai
No, like maybe like once every month.
Enya
How often do you have sex dreams?
Kai
That was sexual harassment.
Enya
What the.
Drew
Dude.
Enya
I'm literally just trying.
Drew
No, kind of often, but they're like. They're like really like, weird, humiliating. Like it's never like. Yeah, kind of often. And it's like. It's like never like a good time. It's always like I'm petrified and I'm like, oh my God, this. This is bad.
Kai
Petra Collins, A five.
Drew
Yeah, I.
Enya
Have I ever told him when I tried to learn how to do lucid dreaming so that I could have sex with.
Kai
Yeah, he said that recently. Oh, wait. To have sex dreams?
Drew
Yeah. Not with the whole thing. No.
Enya
Couple years ago I was like, I want to have. Did I talk about this on the podcast?
Drew
You did. Because I remember literally looking at you while you said that and I was like, that's a crazy thing to like.
Kai
I didn't realize it was for.
Enya
I was just like, oh, it be cool to have more of those frequently, because I get them once. Once every three years.
Drew
Wow, it sucks.
Kai
Damn.
Enya
The rest of my dreams, I'm just doing like complex math equations and whatever. It doesn't matter.
Kai
Would you rather forget who you are every morning or never be able to recognize faces again? Ew, yucky. I hate that one.
Drew
This is crazy. Wait.
Enya
Because I had, like, I think, not recognized faces, because wouldn't that be insane every morning to learn who you are?
Kai
Yeah, that's basically dementia. I literally have the worst fear. That's like, I literally, like, have such a fear of, like, people in my life getting dementia, and it's because of those TikTok accounts of people, like, showing their parents with dementia. Oh, my God. That literally ruined me. Would you rather always feel like you're being watched or always feel like you're forgetting something important?
Enya
Well, I already know what it's like to feel like I'm being watched all the time because I found the toilet cameras that you guys installed at my house.
Drew
Oh, my God, you're being dramatic. We're just trying to make sure. You said you were having problems.
Kai
Find the shower camera, too?
Enya
No.
Kai
Do you find the closet camera? Did you find the bed cam?
Enya
So you're saying you saw when I slipped and found a Neutrogena bottle went completely.
Kai
Yeah, it was actually, actually.
Enya
Oh, so you're saying you saw the Looney Tune, The Ninja Blender incident that happened when I slipped and then the bathroom faucet went inside.
Kai
Did you have any last things you want to sound off on?
Enya
Well, I guess I could promote the two oddly satisfying shows where, for those of you that don't know, it's when we do these, like, funny DJ sets. I'm doing one in Austin on May 2 and one in New York on May 10, and it's gonna be a movie, so if you guys want to come to that. Come. The last one's really fun. The last one that we did. And you broke a bottle over Drew's head.
Kai
Yeah. And she gave me, like, a giant welt on my forehead.
Drew
Well, they told me to do that last minute. I didn't know, like, I was supposed.
Kai
Well, no, I planned it last year.
Drew
Yeah.
Kai
I planned it literally on stage. Stage.
Drew
Yeah. He literally just had one in his bag, and he was like, can you break this on my head?
Kai
And I had my bag of tricks. I had my Birkin, my tall hat with the turnup hat on top, like, bag.
Drew
That was a really fun night, though.
Kai
Yeah.
Drew
And I like when you all play songs for me.
Enya
Yeah. I think we put, like, seven in there.
Kai
Yeah. It was pretty much for. All for.
Enya
Yeah. If you guys want to come, it's going to be a movie. It's basically going to be an Ariaster film. Sean Baker film. There will not be an intimacy coordinator.
Kai
Yeah. At the show.
Enya
I'm sorry. That. Yeah. I think that's basically it. The other thing is that I love you guys, and I'm. I feel very lucky.
Kai
Love you, too.
Enya
Be a part of this. It really was like, a dream moving to LA to, like, work on something with friends that makes everyone happy.
Kai
That's our job. We want to make people happy. And thank you for helping us with it.
Drew
Yeah, thank you. You really have been like.
Kai
Like the rock that held the D.
Enya
I. I'll get, like, clips or montages of early episodes, and I will genuinely shut up.
Kai
I tear up.
Drew
It is crazy. It also, like, it makes. I'm like, damn, dude. We were like, yeah, young. Like, wow. But I. Like, we're still young. But, like, it's crazy how, like, even looking back at that point, I was like, damn, we're all grown as. And I remember especially I looked at you, and I was like, he's grown as. And now we're that age. And I'm like.
Enya
Like, I think the craziest thing is because it was. We started, like, right after Covid, right? Like, right when things, like, it was, like, lockdown.
Drew
It was like, 20, 21.
Kai
21, 21.
Enya
I remember. I remember doing those episodes and being, like, again, kind of like the bioluminescent thing. I was like, this is amazing. Like, this is, like, really cool. And I remember being like. It feels so weird to think about the fact that I will be nostalgic for this period of human history, like, post Covid or in Covid, whatever. And inevitably, I do feel that way. Like, I'll see those videos and I'll remember, like, driving over to the house, the other one, and the Flea episode, like, doing it. Yeah.
Kai
The Grove parking lot. Did we ever tell them that's where we were? That we were in the parking lot at the Grove?
Drew
I don't think so. I think people knew we were, like, staying at a hotel, but we didn't want to do it in the hotel because, like, I don't know, it just felt random. I was like, what? I don't want to be in.
Kai
It was like concrete.
Drew
Yeah, it was like a concrete ass. Like, building, building. But, yeah, I know. It is insane. Well.
Kai
But, yeah, we've come a long way and we've got a long way to go, y'all.
Drew
We got a long way to go.
Enya
Yeah, we gotta get to episode 1000 for body counter.
Kai
I can't say, like, body count reveal for real is.
Enya
No, it's not.
Kai
BLEEP that.
Drew
Did we say that?
Kai
Huh?
Drew
Did we say our body count in, like.
Kai
No, no, no.
Enya
Now I'm saying episode 1000. We run that body count reveal.
Drew
Oh, hell no. Like, why. Why do you.
Enya
Yours will be much larger.
Kai
Yeah, it'll be in the.
Enya
Mine will have sometimes somehow gone down. I don't know.
Kai
You've prayed them away.
Enya
Yeah, if I pray enough for the next 900 episodes, I saw a clip.
Kai
Of, like, someone talking about, like, I forget who the it was, but it was cracking me up because it was such a relatable experience. Like, growing up in the church and growing up hyper religious. This, like, being in a car and, like, thinking about, like, God just, like, smiting you and poking the car with, like, his finger and exploding. Like, I thought about, like, me being killed by God all the time. Like, him holding me underwater and pool because I sinned. Like, I would, like, be in bed, like, praying that he didn't kill me.
Enya
What? That's how that ends.
Drew
Oh, my God, Drew. That's so awful.
Kai
I was so scared of God. I was literally a God fearing individual. Now I love God. God is everywhere. God is good. God isn't the God you think I believe in. God is good.
Drew
Wow. I mean, yeah, that's a lot. I don't think I had that. I was just kind of annoyed with having to go to, like, Jehovah's Witnesses thing.
Kai
No, literally, God is good.
Enya
Were you religious when you were younger?
Drew
No, but my dad faked it because our extended family is really Jehovah's Witness and Catholic, so we would, like, go to, like, like, event things and he would act like he took us to church near our neighborhood because a lot of our family either didn't live in Miami or they lived far enough away that was like, oh, it's too far for us to take all the kids there. So my dad just lied. But I was not religious.
Kai
Like, were you going to.
Enya
I went to synagogue growing up and I did Sunday school and I learned Hebrew.
Kai
Sunday school.
Enya
But I was never religious. I was always like, no, that doesn't make sense. That there's God. That doesn't make sense.
Kai
Yeah, I think when I was like, 11 or 12 is when I was like, my brain, like, finally started working, and I was like, all of this is.
Drew
I. Like, I went through a phase where I was like, I don't believe in any God, but now I do believe.
Kai
Oh, I'm so, so whatever. Right? Like, I'm so spiritual. We were just talking about this.
Enya
Yeah, it's. It is honestly a shame that I guess a lot of people's introductions to some sort of omnipresent creator is that it's going to punish you. Yeah.
Kai
It's gonna kill you. Punish you and, like, to hate everyone and everything.
Enya
But I do think that humans are basically just bugs. Like, we're not that different from bugs. And we need. We need to feel like there's something we need to actually believe that drives people.
Kai
That's why people need to go to more basketball games. More basketball games. Like, for real more. Go to more basketball games and concerts and festivals. Go, like, connect with people all cheering for the same thing.
Drew
Like, or go chill at your homies house bright. Don't FaceTime them. Like, if you can, like, go to their crib so that you're not just, like, on the phone.
Enya
I was having that thought at Coachella. There's, like, so many people and it's pretty intense. And I understand why people don't enjoy it.
Kai
Everyone's still happy.
Enya
Yeah, well, there's. There's just a level of, like, oh. We are very clearly trying to implant a sense of community. And, like, that is so much of the reason why even when you go to shows, it's like, nobody. You don't have to be as close to the stage as possible. I was thinking about that watching Claro. Like, everybody just naturally gets as close to each other and the stage as possible. And I'm like, it's cute. I think. Yeah. A sense of community is a lot more important. I don't know. It's been a thematic thing in my brain over the last probably six months of just like, oh, we are striving for community in whatever way we can.
Drew
Yeah.
Kai
And because these damn phones is. These damn phones.
Enya
Yeah.
Kai
They took our communities away. We need to go back to them.
Enya
Yeah.
Kai
Those damn phones.
Drew
I'm not going back, actually.
Kai
And he's actually anti community.
Drew
Yeah. I'm like, low key. Like, so boring.
Kai
It's like, we need to, like, separate as far as possible from.
Drew
No. That is literally all I do. I'm actually, like, I'm a. Yes. A holic to hanging out with.
Kai
Like, it's actually a problem. It's.
Drew
I. I almost say yes too much.
Kai
No, you. You do say yes too much. Because it's literally like, you have, like, three things going on and, like, at the same time, and you have to, like, choose which one. Like, you say yes too much.
Drew
I make myself there for everything.
Kai
I will say I want the substance.
Enya
I already got it. And I turned into Ian the rapper. I will say I feel like you guys have done a very good job at, like, a community of People. And I think especially in LA people, it's really hard to have relationships that last a long time.
Kai
I mean, unless we're doing it because we're not crazy.
Enya
Yeah, that's the thing.
Kai
And we're also not like incestual inside our friend group. That's like a big problem I realize is like everybody just like has sex with their friends and I'm like, girl, that's obviously gonna like end very poorly. So like, if you want a long lasting friend group, just literally don't have sex with him. Challenge.
Enya
I think it's also impressive too that you guys work with so many of your friends and that's a really hard thing to navigate. It is like inevitably going to be hard. And I feel like, I mean with me, I feel like you guys have done it really well and I know like you obviously make videos with Josh and Josiah and stuff and other people.
Kai
I'm conscious about that because the friendship comes first.
Drew
Yeah. Also just like say what you want. I'm like such a proponent and I know that's hard, but I think, I think it's something I've had to learn. And of course there are times when you should bite your tongue, but I think it's like trust and knowing that like I can hear something that I might not like, but I'm gonna have to just like hear it and sit with it and know that maybe there's a chance I'm gonna cause this person pain. Because any relationship you're taking a bet that you're gonna cause this person pain. But the like benefits of that is hopefully the pain isn't something crazy. Everybody has their boundaries of like, what that pain necessarily. Pain doesn't have to be like some torture driven thing, but just like the pain of like feeling uncomfortable or insecure or like having a question that you're like anxious about asking. But I think most people suffering. Yeah. If you just like push through it though, even if like you get a bad reaction at first or I don't know, I feel like it really is there. You have to just be able to be uncomfortable with somebody you're going to work with or have in your life for a long time because like, like.
Kai
Bro is weird and not everything needs to be a goddamn conversation. I'm sorry, I don't know where that got twisted. But like the reason my friendships have lasted is because all of my friends do that. Piss me the off. But like, girl, it is not that deep. I'd rather have this person in my life and like, maybe I just found like, literally the most perfect matches ever. Because, like, they do the same thing to me. Obviously, there are some things that I have to vocalize more. I'm like, girl, that was annoying. But, like, I'm so brain dead when it comes to, like, the relationships that I surround myself with. And I'm just like, it feels good to be around this person. Like, I don't care if.
Drew
Also, I think we all get lucky that for the most part, the things.
Kai
That we also don't. Like crazy in our life.
Drew
Yeah. Like, we're like the things that annoy us or piss us off about each other is, like, not that deep. Like, it's literally like. It's like a. Yeah, it's like a dishes thing or like, like showing up on time or not on time or like, like that. That I'm just like. I feel like there's so much more benefit you get from having people in your life. And it's really easy to harp on, especially as anxious people. It's like, really easy. Just like, oh, my God. Because of this. That's going to turn to this. It's going to turn to this. And it's just like, chill, chill, chill. Everyone chill.
Kai
Just like, bro, if everyone took a Xanax, a hundred of them over a hundred days, we would all be addicted to Xanax. And then we would all go through.
Enya
What are you talking about?
Kai
Wait, let me finish. We'll all go through Xanax withdrawal together, which is the worst. I've been through it.
Enya
Oh, I see where you're coming from.
Kai
And we, we will all have a shared common experience. We went through hell together and we'd all be trauma bonded.
Drew
Okay. No, yeah.
Kai
Also, if your relationship is failing with your significant other, get a hotel room and do Molly together there.
Enya
Smart. That'll fix it for sure. That's what we've done.
Kai
Josh told me a comedian said that. I don't know what, I don't know who said it, but it actually was. I was like, wait, that actually might work. But what were you gonna say, Kai? Sorry.
Enya
Oh, I guess it kind of goes back to one of those questions about seeing myself as a result of the podcast. Whatever. Just I think doing a creative thing and pushing through the inevitable, like, challenges of whatever you're doing is so rewarding. And I do think it's very fucking rare now. I think, like, like, dating apps is like an allegory for just relationships in general, of just being like, oh, it's incredibly easy to move on from something now, like, versus to fight for that.
Kai
Shit.
Enya
Exactly. And I think, yeah, it's been really nice to go through an entire creative process with people over years and, you know, enjoy all the good parts, enjoy all the, you know, challenges. And I don't know, I think, yeah, it's been. It's been really nice to be like, oh, this is actually something I'm capable of doing, which it's really hard.
Kai
You're doing it, Joe.
Enya
And we're all in a polyamorous relationship and we have sex. Yeah. Which obviously can complicate things, but no.
Drew
That actually makes it difficult.
Kai
It gets difficult. But, like, we enjoy those challenges. We enjoy the challenges. Like, I like sitting in a chair and watching Inyan Kai bone. Like, I love that Inya likes boning Kai.
Enya
And I like putting the tarp down for y'all.
Drew
E. The tarp is crazy, cuz I'm imagining the ones you could get at, like, the blue ones get at Home.
Enya
Depot, the industrial strength ones to gag a clocking bird. What about this Lady Gaga?
Kai
Gaggiana Grande.
Drew
No, we're not gonna cut it. You're not cutting that.
Kai
Drew. Psyop, Drew. Psyop, Drew. Psyop Drew. Siob. Here I am thinking I'm getting thick. My panties were on backwards. She talking about that birth control made her big. I saw you eat those 24 wings. I fuck with all types of music. They call me Poly Jammerous.
Drew
That is me as. I'm putting that in my bio.
Kai
Poly Jammeris.
Drew
That is me as. Like.
Kai
That sleep hit different when you wash your ass first. That's why some of y'all can't sleep at night. Kai gets ready in five minutes. I know something stinks.
Drew
I've smelled you stink before.
Kai
I asked you last night and you said you didn't.
Drew
No, but, like, I mean, in the general sense, like, we live together and we, like, we lay together, we break bread, we make love.
Kai
Like, we smell each other's morning breath.
Drew
Yeah, like you. Yeah, literally, like, we lay with each other.
Kai
Your morning breath this morning was kicking. I could not sleep through it. And you and I are still sleeping in the same bed, by the way.
Enya
Why. Why don't you just be adults and sleep alone like me?
Drew
Oh, my God, you're so jealous. Well, you can come sleep over, but Drew's gonna be.
Kai
Yeah. Do you want to sleep in my big bed tonight, Kai? I'm for real. I'd sleep in the middle and you would sleep on the back.
Drew
Yeah, we've been inviting people.
Enya
Really?
Kai
We have, like, reigns up next. Like.
Enya
Yeah, yeah, I Would love to do that.
Drew
Also, I need to clarify. Like, none of us do actually. We genuinely. None of us do some freaky. Because I don't need anybody, like, hearing this clip and it sounds really crazy.
Kai
Thinking we're the new episode, but, like.
Drew
No, we're actually are just, like, none of us were allowed to hang out with friends, and we didn't have a lot of friends, and we have a lot of childhood sadness. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Kai
Those nipple rings do nothing but make the titty taste like a quarter. Ladies, Imagine getting your vagina licked. Then boom, his teeth falls out. It was from Amelia. She cooked.
Enya
What?
Drew
No, that's the beauty. Like, what?
Kai
Don't think about it.
Drew
Then boom.
Kai
Then boom. His teeth. This tweet is crazy. From its underscore T, do I lose all respect for a T shirt once I slept in it.
Enya
Oh, that's a. I get that.
Kai
No, like, if I sleep in a T shirt, I will literally never wear it out again. Yeah, well, see. Okay, well, that was Drew S. What do you got for media babe?
Drew
Not me, because sometimes I just knock out. Like, I just will, like, go to sit down and I'll knock out and like, full clothing. I low key with sleeping in jeans.
Enya
Ag Cook Stargon. You know that one?
Kai
Wait, play the first couple seconds. Yeah, I heard that in the Heaven Store one time and I was like, this is like the worst vibe to ever curate.
Drew
Like, it was like being in the Climax movie.
Kai
Yeah. Oh, Sangria. Love that song.
Drew
You're so annoying.
Enya
I'm still listening to the Cameron Winter album. It's cool. I've never heard a person sing like that before. Karma Police by Radiohead. Halfway through where he says, I lost myself, I lost my. Or, what did he say?
Kai
Karma Police. Brighter Days in Percolator by Cashmere Glue bicep. And you've been dynatized too late. I get out of that from Climax. Stigmatized.
Drew
Okay, mine is. Honestly, when I really think about it, I've been listening to kind of the same things over and over again.
Kai
Funk me literally every single week.
Drew
I know. Funk me. Marvin Gaye, in and out of Shadows, Dion, Summer is Coming, Lavisifre, Scandalous Prince. I can't go for that. Daryl hall and John Oates and Locked On Toliver Still. And if you want me, say it Love Unlimited.
Kai
Do we count yo mama's stinky vagina as media? Because I've been tearing that shit up like both of Yalls mamas. Well, thank you guys so much for tuning into this episode of Emergency Intercom thank you, Kai, for tuning in.
Drew
I've had the biggest urge to smack the out of your leg.
Enya
Really?
Drew
Yeah.
Enya
That's so strange. I don't get that. I just want to make people around me feel good all the time.
Drew
Ew.
Kai
It would make me feel.
Drew
That would make me feel good, actually. It'd make me really happy.
Enya
I feel like I'm getting manipulated, but do.
Drew
You said you care about making people happy.
Enya
That's true. Okay. Yeah. You can hit me as hard as you want.
Kai
Who hit me?
Drew
Hit me.
Enya
And then for visual media, for me, it's porn.
Kai
Famously, Kai loves porn.
Enya
I'm obsessed with porn.
Drew
Visual media for me is Carmen Winston.
Kai
Hi, my name is Carmen Winstead. I'm 17 years old. All right, bye. Seventeen.
Emergency Intercom Podcast: "Our Polyamorous Relationship w/ Ky Pt. 2" – Detailed Summary
Release Date: April 18, 2025
Hosts: Enya Umanzor & Drew Phillips
Episode: 189
The episode kicks off with the hosts reminiscing about their unforgettable experiences at Coachella. Enya recounts a particularly embarrassing incident involving food poisoning from spring rolls, leading to an explosive situation in a festival bathroom near Justin Bieber (06:08). Kai adds humor by describing his "blinkered" behavior at Coachella, navigating through parties while trying to maintain sobriety (09:45). The trio shares laughs over their antics, including Kai's attempts to support Enya during her mishaps and Drew's exaggerated reactions to the chaos.
Notable Quotes:
A significant portion of the conversation delves into the challenges of giving and receiving compliments within their friend group. Drew expresses his difficulty in sounding sincere, often feeling the need to follow compliments with jokes (03:24). Enya highlights the awkwardness of complimenting Drew, fearing it might be misconstrued, while Kai encourages openness in expressing kindness (04:23; 04:29).
Notable Quotes:
True to the episode's title, the hosts explore their polyamorous relationship dynamics. They discuss the complexities and benefits of maintaining multiple romantic connections within their close-knit group. Kai shares his perspective on ensuring friendships take precedence to prevent complications, emphasizing mutual respect and understanding (62:38). Enya and Drew reflect on the challenges they've navigated, highlighting the importance of open communication and setting boundaries.
Notable Quotes:
The conversation takes a more introspective turn as the hosts share vivid memories and dream narratives. Enya describes a magical memory from her teenage years, involving skinny dipping under a full moon with bioluminescent algae (27:00). Drew opens up about his unsettling sex dreams, revealing personal vulnerabilities (52:25). These segments provide a deeper look into the hosts' personal lives and experiences beyond the comedic facade.
Notable Quotes:
Enya proposes various segment ideas to enhance the podcast's engagement, including behind-the-scenes glimpses of her role as the producer and humorous skits involving mishaps like spilling water during on-air antics (39:16; 44:17). The trio playfully debates the feasibility and comedic value of these segments, showcasing their chemistry and improvisational skills.
Notable Quotes:
Towards the end of the episode, the hosts reflect on how "Emergency Intercom" has influenced their self-perception and personal development. Enya discusses the challenges of maintaining authenticity amidst public perception, while Kai and Drew share their thoughts on community building and the importance of genuine connections (20:29; 66:13).
Notable Quotes:
In the concluding moments, the hosts express gratitude towards their audience and discuss their aspirations for the podcast's future, including reaching milestone episodes and exploring deeper relationship dynamics (55:59; 66:13). They reinforce their commitment to fostering a supportive and entertaining community through their content.
Notable Quotes:
This episode of "Emergency Intercom" seamlessly blends humor with heartfelt discussions, offering listeners a glimpse into the intricate dynamics of a polyamorous relationship, the trials of maintaining friendships, and personal growth influenced by their creative endeavors. Through candid conversations and comedic exchanges, Enya, Drew, and Kai reinforce the essence of their podcast: fostering a space where laughter meets introspection.
Timestamp Guide:
Note: This summary excludes advertisements, intros, outros, and non-content sections as per instructions.