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Inya
This is an iHeart podcast.
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John Fry
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Drew
Spill water all over our well.
Inya
Cuz you're like, actually like.
Drew
I don't know why it's not turning off. It's not turning. Okay, here we go.
Inya
Oh, my God. That.
Drew
Actually, we can make it.
Inya
That felt like when I went to the My Bloody Valentine concert and there was actually at least four separate occasions where I thought I was gonna have a stroke.
Drew
Are we recording, Kai? Yeah.
Kai
Let me make sure it's in focus, though.
Drew
Should we do paparazzi?
Inya
I don't know. But like, you getting access to this was the worst. The worst thing to ever happen. Like, you're the last person who needs the access to this on your phone. Also welcome to episode of Emergency Intercom. Because of last week's issues, we really sat down. Actually, no, we. Now we can get into it.
Drew
No, we can get. We can get into it.
Inya
We can speak.
Drew
Guys, we were fucking scammed. Crazy. No. Shade won't name names of anybody in the in. So they can't come for us. But we were scammed me.
Inya
So they can't come for us. When they came into our home and destroyed a room and we paid them.
Drew
To do it, they. Oh, God. It. It really frustrates me in a way.
Inya
That I way more. It makes me. Okay, you're going to have to like something. You don't have to give with the light.
Drew
I'm turning it back on. I'm just making it solid.
Kai
Give me this. Reminds me of the hospital.
Drew
Yeah. Yeah.
Inya
Oh, my God. I set my first nudes in a hospital. When my little cousin was being born.
Drew
I met up with my first Grinder date in a hospital.
Kai
No, that can't be true.
Drew
Y. He was a patient in the bed. I'm being dead serious.
Kai
What?
Drew
Yeah. I was there for my. What's her name? I can't say her name. My babysitter's kidney stones. I felt really bad for her. Got on Grindr, found a man.
Kai
How did I not ever know about this?
Drew
Guys, I'm making this up. Oh, my God. But the fact that this is like.
Kai
Because you've told me stories where I'm like. I just thought it was a lie for you.
Inya
You're pretty. Like, for that old Psyop Corner thing you read where it was like, imagine living. Living in like, ye olden days and having to wake your horse up for some pussy. Like, your horse would hate your ass.
Drew
They would have hated me when I was 16. My words would have hated me when.
Inya
I was 16 is crazy.
Drew
When I was 16, I was on Grindr.
Inya
Yeah. When I went to the hospital, well, I guess I sent my first nude and it was just someone who I thought was gay, which I've talked about before. And it was like, I took the nude. I literally greeted my little cousin into the world and then went into the bathroom and lifted my shirt.
Drew
Title fucking slide.
Inya
I literally, like, took my shirt off and like, took my boobs out.
Drew
Tattoo slay you were trying to do.
Inya
Skin to skin, meat to meat, wall.
Drew
To wall, drop down my balls. Kai's just making a lot.
Inya
I know.
Drew
He's just out there.
Kai
A lot of stuff has changed. A lot of stuff.
Drew
I know y'. All. Okay, so basically what happened was we hired this crew of people to come in and make our podcast studio a home. We wanted to be able to come in here, exist in it, love in it.
Inya
Well, we were like, okay, it gets to a point where we've been doing this now for four years, and every space we have is the worst space on the planet for this.
Drew
Like, it's not made for.
Inya
In terms of vibe.
Drew
Like, worse in terms of the kitchen was a vibe, actually. I'll. I'll give us.
Inya
I missed the kitchen, but the kitchen.
Drew
Got to a point where, like, having to move that table, that 500 pound table every day. No. So we were.
Kai
Shout out to us for not making a joke when Anya said that she missed the kitchen.
Drew
Oh, yeah, we're growing.
Kai
We're learning every day.
Inya
You just made the joke, though.
Drew
No, he was. He was pointing out that we didn't make.
Kai
Yeah, we didn't get celebrated.
Inya
But you didn't even let us get past it and let it sit and be like you were remembering it. That's like the joke was so prominent and you had to use all of your self control not to make the joke.
Drew
Women belong in the kitchen.
Kai
Hey, nice. I'm just saying, what's the point of, like, being a feminist if you're not getting congratulated for it constantly?
Drew
No, exactly. I.
Kai
We should be celebrated.
Inya
Yeah. Yeah. Flowers. He's not dead yet. He.
Drew
I saw someone say. I saw someone say the new performative male isn't claro anymore. It's carrying around a bouquet of carrots with the grass on the end and a baguette.
Kai
Yes.
Inya
No, the new performative is any man with access to. To the Internet. Like, you just shouldn't be on there. Like, oh, dude. Oh, my God. Ew. The idea. It's actually kind of up. I. I think I do just navigate relationships and my life as a man because of my, like, disdain for men. But I. When you think about it, the way I view men in relationships is so the way men view women, and it makes me so happy. And I will never fucking change because, hey, don't change.
Drew
Never change.
Inya
Be who you are. Dude, I was talking to this, like, this, and he was talking about, like, putting himself on camera and how he's never done that, and it made him so uncomfortable and blah, blah, blah. I'm not kidding. A mass spreading. Like, literally. I hear that I'm, like, a man who literally has, like, no desire to ever be caught on camera. Wow.
Drew
No, That's a movie.
Inya
Rare breed. Why the fuck are you going to the perf? Like, going to the performative contest is performing, which I guess. Yeah, like, the whole thing. It's the point. But, like, oh, it literally freaks me out because, like, it's too real. Do you know what I mean? It's like, this is funny, but a lot of you guys are just straight guys who actually, you know, too much information.
Drew
Like, and all women really want is to be seen and to be understood.
Inya
No, all women want is men to use the patriarchy to their advantage and make more money than me and take me fucking outside, bitch.
Drew
No. Literally fly me around in a jet challenge.
Inya
Like, oh, my God. All. All of the. Like, oh, my gosh. No, I'm. I'm so for.
Drew
Like, wait, guys. I'm a popular learner. I'm a popular loner.
Inya
Oh, I thought you said you're a popular learner. And I was like, what?
Drew
No, I did misspeak.
Inya
You only learn things when it's popular. Is that what that means? Popular?
Kai
That's actually real, though. I do feel like that's real.
Drew
That is, like, actually a thing.
Kai
Yeah, it is. Where people. Anyway, you guys got over with the studio.
Inya
Is that not majority.
Drew
We did get over with the studio. They came in, we told them, drill in those walls because we're renting this space. We said, we don't give a drill into the walls. Cause damage. We'll eat it later or get it repainted. We don't give a. Like, make it look professional and nice. Well, the day they came and installed this, y', all, they put up literal foam panels. Guys, if you knew how much we paid these dudes to do this, you would be appalled by the work that was given to Us, y'. All. They put these. These foam panels up, and as they were leaving the house, they were like, oh, by the way, some of them might fall off the wall. Just, like, put them back up. Just, like, stick them back up on the wall, y'. All. One had already fallen, and they hadn't even left yet.
Inya
No, a bunch of them were drooping off the wall already.
Drew
And, like, no, it was crazy.
Inya
It was. To me, the most upsetting part was the fact that, like, you could see peaks of the wall.
Drew
Like, it was like, they didn't even do it nice.
Inya
They didn't do it, like, nice. It genuinely felt like if I took.
Drew
200.
Inya
No, if I took 2 milligrams of a vivance, 2. And if you're not privy, 2 is not enough to get me from here to fucking Pasadena. Like, it's not. That's not. That's not working. It's not doing its job. I could have taken 2 milligrams, stood outside, smoked the fucking blunt, had a margarita, came in here and done a fire job.
Drew
A better job compared to.
Inya
What the fuck happens?
Drew
Like, I leave. I leave for two days, and then I come back. And I'm not joking. I'm. We. We should insert the video.
Inya
Now you get to explain why you cried.
Drew
Yeah, so that, like, that was, like, kind of why.
Inya
That's where it all, like, yeah, burst the floodgates verse for Drew.
Drew
I get home and, like, I come back in the studio because I was like, you know what? It's, like, not that bad, and I want to see what, like, is going on legitimately. 40% of the panels had fallen off the wall in two fucking days.
Inya
And.
Drew
And, like, I just.
Inya
I literally do have an episode with them on the ground in frame.
Drew
No, I did a good job at coming in here and pushing them all back up, because every single time we recorded, I had to push panels into the walls. But I'll show. We'll insert the video. Horrifying. And if you remember that picture of me, like, sobbing a few episodes ago, it's because I'm just tired of getting taken advantage of. I'm tired of getting scammed. I trust too easily, give myself away too much. I, like, I can't. I cannot keep doing that to myself, because that was fudgeing ridiculous.
Inya
Well, there is just something in. Well, okay, a few things. One, I feel like I was so chill about it because my whole life is literally like, oh, you want to do what to me? Okay. Why? Like, literally, like, I'm just like, go ahead. I'm used to that also. I think I just found it so funny because, like, literally the confidence these dudes had was like. They were. I. I just can't believe it. But yeah, it was awesome. And then when they took. When we had the. The tiles removed, it literally destroyed the wall.
Drew
Like, you can see that one of.
Inya
The walls used to be green like this, guys, which is actually really eerie. Why? Was there ever, like, a mint?
Drew
No, it was. It was brown. This whole room was brown, which is like, this is a tiny room that would be so suffocating. But, guys, the reason they didn't do what we have now was because they were like, renter friendly option, y'. All. We took those panels off unironically, caused a thousand dollars in damage that, yeah, we had to pay out of pocket to get fixed because they had to sand the walls all the way down and then re paint them and re Plaster them. Like, it was. Oh, it was horrible. It was last week. Might have been the worst week.
Inya
Came in here and did it, though. He did not play.
Drew
No. He was about his shit.
Inya
I wish I met that dude. I would like to shake his hand.
Drew
He really sick.
Inya
He did the damn thing. He got contacted literally the night before and was like, yeah, I'll be there in the morning.
Drew
Yep. And then the. The people we hired to do this stuff now absolutely killed it. Got it done in eight minutes. Like, came and measured, which I feel like should have been like a thing from the start. But I was so blown away that they came in here before with tape measures.
Inya
There's something that's. I think that's almost why I can be mad, because I look back at when things like that happen. I'm like, yeah, you just came in at the perfect storm of, like, we were already dealing with a million things you pulled up. You were so confident and about it, and you got us. I'm like. I'm like. I almost. I'm like, you know what? Kudos. But you won't get me again. And you're lucky I didn't see you again, because I would slap the out.
Drew
Of you, because I don't treat my manners manager like that. Like, that's. That's the craziest part. They had with us. Suck my dick and balls from the back after I run a mile so it's all stinky and sweaty up in there like you.
Inya
No, dude, it's. But even in that regard, I'm like, damn, dude. True scammers. Like, we're kind of running out of that. If you think about it like now I, I was saying to someone the other day, I can give props to somebody who's doing scamming and in my face now, which is crazy. But like, I don't know, I've just, I've always had a respect for scammers though. But that's also because like I wouldn't have had like a camera for YouTube without boosters and scammers. So I really do. Like, I genuinely, and I'm not even kidding, I think that's like such a necessary part of, like of the world. But scamming has gotten way too fucking easy because you dumb bitches can do.
Drew
It from your fucking type. The type of scamming I like now is the one where it's like a 17 year old white kid makes a masterclass course on how to make money and then scams a bunch of other 14, 15 and 16 year old rich white kids into giving them $3,000. Which I'm like, okay, yeah, scam them, please. But like, don't scam my grandma. Like please don't scam my grandma.
Inya
Well, yeah, yeah, duh. Scamming is like overall bad. But I don't know, I like, I really do have a respect because to me, like to be a scammer you have to be just like, you have to have a sort of motivation that like is just being misplaced. And I genuinely think a lot of scammers turn into great entrepreneurs because like all you need is like sign the up deal. I just need the platform. Like that's like how I view certain scammers. To me, I don't respect the motherfuckers who did this to us because in my head I'm like, once you're in this playing field of making that amount of money, that's when your fucking ego and pride should kick in and be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That's when it's like, should shift and be like, if I do this right, I get to use this as like a building block. But that to me is also proof that that is a malfunction of white DNA. But that's a whole other conversation.
Drew
Also partially not Kai's fault that the camera went out of focus last episode. The camera that they got us is potentially the worst piece of shit I've ever used in my life. It's impressive how fucking terrible it was on autofocus. Yeah, it's impressive how bad it is. And like I see Kai neurotically checking it now because like he felt so bad. But like, honestly it was fierce. There I said it.
Inya
The blurry. It was fucking awesome. I didn't have my glasses. Oh, my God, my glasses.
Drew
I know.
Inya
Seriously, I'm actually fried. Like, it's.
Drew
No, you're literally fried.
Inya
Where were they in my face? They were literally, like, in my.
Drew
You know how you make fun of me for looking in the refrigerator and I can't find.
Inya
I need my glasses to see, so back up.
Drew
But no, I. And yet every time I go in the refrigerator, I'm like, where's the kewpie mayo? Every single time, I put it in the exact same place, and I can't find it. And.
Inya
Of white DNA. And now we're getting into malfunction of male DNA, which is literally. It's like that girl. There's this woman on Tik Tok who.
Drew
She talks about malfunctions of female. Female DNA.
Kai
Can't think of one personally.
Drew
Yeah, Honestly, there you go. Guy I can think of a few are crazy.
Inya
My. Go loco. Go loco. Ariba. Ariba. Ariba. Oh, my God, y'. All, I seriously need to start talking to my mom on the phone more often.
Drew
How does my hair look without the hat? Should I put it back on? Should I put it back on?
Kai
It looks good.
Inya
Yeah. Yeah. Hey, you look like a straight character from Pokemon right now with the gay guy in the. Oh, I didn't even realize it said gay guy on it.
Drew
Yeah.
Inya
It just felt like, you know when certain people have name plates and you know them so well, so you. The name plate, you don't even read it. Like, if you would know a stranger for you with the hat.
Drew
I'm just confused why the church app would have gay guy on the front. I thought the church hates gays.
Inya
That's why I'm like. They're, like, rebranding the church. The church is losing followers right now, so they're going through a rebrand.
Drew
Since we're talking about gay in church, I think we really need to talk about the twink server worker at church. Chick Fil A pipeline. If you. Every single. Like, okay, every gay guy is not a flight attendant, but every male flight attendant is a gay guy. It's like every single worker at Chick Fil A is probably gay if you're a man.
Inya
Yeah. I will say most.
Drew
They're all twins.
Inya
Yeah. Most of the guys I interact with, they are little gay guys.
Drew
And if you're a chick fil A worker. Respect. Like, you're hustling and getting your money.
Inya
But, like, taking the system from the inside out.
Drew
Yeah, yeah. You're stealing from the corp.
Inya
I mean, like, where else are you gonna work? There's kind of like, what corporation doesn't employ gay people? And then they're like, ooh, ooh, no.
Drew
You need to go to Chick Fil, A, guys, I have homework. Go to Chick Fil A, go inside and order a meal. And if the server that's taking your order is a man, he's gay. And like, I'm telling you, how is that homework? So, like, I'm just saying go see for yourself. But don't.
Inya
No, don't. Don't order. Don't just go into the Chick Fil.
Drew
A.
Inya
Get to the front of the line and just like. Like, start an order and be like, never mind.
Drew
Yeah, actually never mind.
Kai
Or figure out a way to dine and dash from a fast food restaurant.
Inya
I can figure that out.
Drew
Wait, was it you saying that you could steal. You used to steal Starbucks? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Kai
That was a really good one.
Drew
That was fierce. You were ahead of your talent podcast.
Inya
Yeah, I would steal makeup. So that was my thing.
Drew
I would steal Percocets out of my friend's parents medicine cabinets.
Inya
That is insane. I remember watching Euphoria and I was like, whose fucking nasty, badass kids do that? Whole time I lived with one.
Drew
Yeah, whole time I was living with the kids.
Inya
Did you ever, like, look at my stuff?
Drew
If I've been in your house, I've looked at your stuff.
Inya
No, in my bathroom. Like, do you ever go in my bathroom in my medicine cabinet?
Drew
No, I genuinely do. I don't. I unironically. I respect your privacy. And if I do start going through it, I feel yucky and stop.
Kai
Your answer is no, I don't do that. But if I do.
Inya
But if I do, I feel really guilty.
Drew
Guys, I am over exaggerating. Like, if I respect you, I won't go through your. Like, I haven't gone through your. Kai, let's go. And I haven't gone through.
Inya
I wish I was like, again, I really am. But even before all the weed I smoke, I've always just been a bit fried where I couldn't give a. To look through. Like, does that make sense? It's more just like, that doesn't cross.
Drew
I'm like, I mean, I'll look at tax returns.
Inya
I guess I'm also just not living in my body. When I enter spaces. I'm literally a ghost.
Drew
And why is it a felony for me to open mail that isn't mine?
Kai
Like, wait, like, I've always wondered that. Like, what Seem like kind of a big.
Inya
Because what if I was getting, like, tax information, Social Security?
Drew
Like, any felony, it should be a misdemeanor.
Inya
Why the are you in my house touching my. Like, actually, it should be a felony if you come into my house and annoy the out of me. Like, that should be a miss.
Drew
It should be a miss de Wiener. Girl. I don't. I don't know. Should we talk about the worst 15 minutes of my life that happened this week? You were involved.
Inya
Okay. Yeah. What happened?
Drew
Okay, so you guys had sex again. Yeah, it was horrible. It was more like three minutes. I lied. No, I only lost a minute with 12 minutes of crying. No, we. I had, like, a really bad day. Or I was. I had, like, a decent day, but I think I was just, like, burnt out because I was just, like, tending to this set build for, like, 12 hours a day, three days in a row, and it felt like everything that could go wrong was going wrong. Like, we were getting revealed our, like, new sound panels. And we walk into the kitchen and our refrigerators just spraying water everywhere. And it's like. It's like, girl, like, can we please have a happy moment working all day?
Inya
And it was like, oh, finally, after so much stress. And then we go in, and you just hear like, yeah.
Drew
One of the workers was like, hey, by the way, your kitchen's flooded. And I was like, oh, my God, here we go. Here we fucking go. But, yeah, we're just having, like, a really rough night. And I convinced Josh and Enya. I was like, let's go to, like, kava. Because I really. I'm really into kava right now.
Inya
Also, when he says convince, what he means is he kind of, like, threw a little, like, yeah.
Drew
I was like, I'm gonna kill myself if you don't go to the movies with me.
Inya
He was like, no, fine, I'll go alone. But I am in the kind of mood that, like, I'll think about killing myself the whole time. And I might do it this time.
Drew
I might actually do it. But no, the way I was feeling, like I was genuine. Like, I was.
Inya
Yeah, I believed you. I just, like, felt bad because I've been so chill. So I'm like, oh, but it's because you're, like, dead sober all the time. So it's like when that stuff happens and stresses me out, I'm like, wow, a blunt. This and a blunt. I don't give a fuck.
Drew
I want to smoke a blurt.
Inya
I'm going to smoke a blur. Okay.
Drew
So I convinced any and Josh to go to cava with me. Which earlier that day I had been tried. Someone tried to convince me that kava was bad, which like I did read the article and it is like really dirty. And someone found a live. A living frog in their kava, which is like crazy. Like, how does that happen?
Inya
I found. But that means it's Fry my burger from Wendy's in like 2007. And guess what? We kept eating. Fucking Wendy's. Yeah.
Drew
No Wendy's nuts drag across your face.
John Fry
This is John Fry from ok, Storytime. Are you an aspiring singer songwriter? I have a question. Wouldn't it be cool if you were like, oh, you know Justin Bieber? Yeah, I knew him back in the day when he was starting. Oh yeah, the Weeknd, Bruno Mars, you know, I, I knew them when they were playing in little tiny venues or just right on their come up. Wouldn't that be nice? Well, ladies and gentlemen, I have for you the opportunity to have the best bragging rights in your group of friends of all time. And that is nextup live music. What is that? It is TikTok's biggest music talent show. And if you're not into it, you're seriously missing out. TikTok Live and iHeartRadio are teaming up to find the next wave of music stars and they're performing live only on TikTok from August 25th to the 29th. Watch the semifinalists give it their everything to find the next big star in real time. I'm talking lifelong bragging rights here. It's your chance to discover and support the next superstar before they hit the big stage at LA's legendary iHeart Theater this fall. Follow ictocliveus on TikTok now and tune into every performance, every battle and the behind the scenes. Your front row seat is just one tap away. Remember, it's ictocliveus on TikTok.
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Drew
This episode of Emergency Intercom is brought to you by zocdoc. Y', all. Do you remember that doctor appointment you were trying to make a while ago that you forgot about because you are ADHD? Well, that's where ZocDoc comes into play. I don't know about you, but my social media is freaking me out. I literally need y' all to stop putting olive oil on your face. It's not gonna help your skin. Please go to a dermatologist Booked through zocdoc As I get older I think I should go to the doctor more because I can't sleep at night, I'm stressed out all the time and I want to keep myself healthy but the system makes it impossible to find the right doctor for my needs. That was until I found ZocDoc. ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment.
Inya
ZocDoc is the only reason I've been to the doctor. If I'm being honest, anytime anything in my body is going wrong, I open up that app. It's probably one of the most used apps on my phone because sometimes I can't lie. I just start to scroll around because I'm getting to that age where like between my shoulder blades hurts and I wake up with the kind of night sweats that are so wet and nasty. I wake up cold no matter what the temperature in the house is. And I definitely should go to the doctor and I'm actually going to go this week and I'm going to open up the app right now. I think you guys should stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to Zocdoc.comIntercom to find an instantly book a top rated doctor today. That's z D O C.com Intercom Zocdoc.com Intercom.
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Inya
But isn't it crazy? If I had a phone back then, I would have taken a picture. Like, I was fully. Like I was fully cognizant.
Drew
Would you have tweeted it?
Inya
Oh, I. That would have went everywhere. I'm like, oh, you would have made it viral.com.
Drew
It would have been trending number one. Yeah. Buzzfeed article.
Inya
I'm getting like, no, I would have gotten interviewed by the local news. Like, that was the type of time local. Like, that was happening in 2007.
Drew
You would have been on Ellen DeGeneres.
Inya
Girl survives fly's chicken burger, eating a fly.
Drew
But basically, I convinced Enya to take me to Cava, but I was the one driving cuz Inya was blind. We go, I get my Cava. Then I'm like, you know what? I want a Coca Cola Freestyle machine soda. So I go to the movies. Don't buy a ticket to a movie. And I just walk in and get a. Or what was it? Mr. Pibb. I get a Mr. Pig with vanilla cherry. No, I get a vanilla cherry. Mr. Pib. It's good.
Inya
And you got me a Coke.
Drew
And then I got India a soda as well. And then, oh, my God.
Inya
I was back at the scene of the crime with more Din Tai Fung in my hand.
Drew
Well, yeah, they wouldn't let me. They wouldn't let me bring my kava in. They made me hand. I was like, I'm not even going to a movie. And they're like, is it the same theater? Yes. Yeah, they like. And I was like, girl, you, You. As I'm walking by, I see someone take a kava bag out of a Labo Pop Mart bag. Like, they, like, pull it out, and I'm like, okay. Like, this is literally, like all these.
Inya
Hoops you make us jump through for what.
Kai
Like, what type of food is covered? It's like bowls of rice.
Drew
Yeah, basically. But it's so yummy. Like, all the sauces, like, and I eat it and I don't get, like, diabolically tired. So I'm like, this is my new. This is my new thing. I'm going to eat it every single day, day of my life for the.
Inya
Rest of my life. Who said it was really bad for you?
Drew
Yeah, but. And you need to stop at the weed store. Always. Always. It's. If we're out, it's. We need to stop at the weed store. So we stop at the weed store, and then I Pull into a handicap spot, and then I get guilty. And I'm like, what if someone handicap actually needs a spot? So I drive, like, three parking spaces up, and we text in. Yeah. And we're like, hey, we, like, pulled three parking spaces up. Like, just turn to the left and walk over there. And you didn't have her phone, so she sat, like, in front of the store sobbing because she thought we were pranking.
Inya
Okay, okay, okay. No, no, no, no. Because that's, like. That makes it seem like I just immediately started crying. Mind you, I hadn't had my glasses for, like, a week at this point. And this was, like, kind of like the day where I was like, tomorrow, this must be solved. Because the next day I went and I got contacts, especially after this experiment experience, because I was like, this is too much. But I was like, already kind of had a headache. Like, we were having a good time, but I was like, oh, my God, I can't wait to literally go home, crack open this fucking Uncle Arnie's, kick my feet up, and have my din tai fung. Like, that's going to be such a vibe. And I didn't bring my phone into the dispensary. All I had was my ID and my debit card on me, and I didn't bring my phone or my wallet, so. And I can't see. So I go in, get myself, and I come back out, and I go to the spot Drew's at, and he's not there. And I was like. At first, I was like, okay, he definitely moved because it was a handicap spot. Like, that did cross my mind, but I, like, look up and down the street, and I'm like, oh. I actually really can't tell. Like, I can't see what cars are. What? So then I saw a car that kind of looked like mine, at least to me. What that means is I saw a car with newer LED, like, headlights that was, like, to the right or whatever. Like, I just saw a car. I went up to it, and as I got closer, I was like, that is not my car. So I, like, got kind of close to this car. Salt was at the right car. I was like, okay, actually, I'm just gonna go stand back in that spot because, like, maybe they loop back around. And then I, like, went back and I'm standing there. And also, it's been so hot in la, and I'm like, I'm already naturally very sweaty when I start to get, like, anxious or just. Just I. I sweat really easily, which I think is just now. Like, I have to live with that because of my Prozac. So it's either I kill myself or I sweat for the rest of my life.
Drew
I think sweating's worth it.
Inya
Is it, though? Like, is it? But I was standing there and I just couldn't see anything. And I was getting so uncomfortable because I was like, wait, I wonder if they're trolling me. And there was this. I didn't explain this to you. There was a 711 across the street, and I was like, I wonder if he, like, went to 711 to get snacks or something. And I was just standing there, and I had no phone, no anything, and I was just like. I put the bag on the floor and I was just standing there for maybe, like, seven minutes had passed. And then I started tearing up and kind of having a panic attack because I was like, fuck, dude. I don't have my phone or my glasses.
Drew
Meanwhile, me and Josh are in the car, like, having one of the greatest conversations we've ever had. And we're like, damn, it's taken in you a long ass time to get this weed. And then we're like. I realize I'm like, oh, my God, India's music is still playing off her phone. She left her phone. And I know she's freaking out. So I get out and I walk up to you, and you immediately start, like, sobbing. And, like, I would have been scared, too. Well, I would have been scared because.
Inya
This one guy in a nasty ass hat who I couldn't really like, that was the other thing is because I don't have my glasses, I can't even see your face. Like, that pisses me off. But this guy kept walking. He walked back and forth, forth three times, which that was making me uncomfortable. And then only men were walking past me, and I was like, oh. Like. And I was just literally panicking. Like, I was just about to have a panic attack. And then I saw Drew. And then I was like, oh, my God, I can release and cry. Because people were walking by and, like, also dead staring at me. Which I guess, yeah, because it's 2025, sexy girl. I don't think I was serving sexy.
Drew
I was like, you were. You always give sexy.
Inya
I don't know. I. I think I looked panicked. Like, I. Because I'm, like, standing here, like, obviously uncomfortable and, like, also starting to sweat profusely because I'm, like, having a panic attack. And then I saw Drew, and then I ignored Drew and, like, walked really fast to the car because I was starting to cry. And we had to walk past a restaurant. And I was like, I can't believe these people we're walking past are gonna think like, me and my boyfriend are in a fight right now.
Drew
Yeah, no, it really did give that. But then we get home, everything starts cooling down. Everything's chilling out. We're sitting on the floor of my room. I'm eating my kava. Inya's eating her din tai fung. Josh is eating her his chicken strips. We're drinking our sodas. It low key turns into the best night of my life because we start watching Freaky Friday. Like, it turns into, like, literally such a special moment for me. Well, Inya does this thing when she sits on the floor of my room, or anywhere in my room, actually, where she gets a topo chico, takes two sips of it it, and then sets it in the middle of the floor. I think she's kicked over. And she did it last night. She kicks over her topo chico.
Inya
He has no coasters in his room. All this wood furniture that he's so scared of up because his bum ass up already. So now you're like. You're like Kai with the camera right now. Hella focus.
Drew
Well, yeah, because I'm like, these are my babies, These are my children. These are my children.
Inya
Life is meant to have stains.
Drew
Like your drawers. Green discharge.
Kai
It's like a Dubai chocolate in there.
Drew
Yeah, sorry.
Inya
Crunchy.
Kai
I haven't said much.
Inya
Crunchy.
Drew
Like, all the hairs. Oh, wait, all of the hairs are the little, like, crunchy bits.
Kai
Yeah.
Drew
And then the discharge is the.
Inya
Why are my falling out?
Drew
Like, alopecia, babe. But we are just having a key. Inya kicks her soda over every single night. Sorry, I'm getting my groundings back where I am in the story. Oh. So we're sitting there, my phone starts blowing up, like, and I'm like, girl, what the fuck is happening? And I charge it on the other side of the room. So I like, get up and go check my phone. Enya has her topo chico in the middle of the floor. So as I get up, I kick the topo chico over and it just happens to land directly on my Apple TV remote.
Inya
The Apple TV remote didn't get wet.
Drew
But it did pause the TV and it, like, flipped through the channels. It, like, put it on some, like, creepy fucking, like, murder dog. That was, like, weird. Like, Loki was telling us something.
Inya
Well, no, it was really creepy because it was right when the, like, the switch was happening in Freaky Friday and we, like, literally couldn't settle the Earthquake was happening. Like, our world was also, like, unraveling again.
Drew
Yeah, it was crazy.
Inya
And then by the time we got back to cleaning up, we sat back down and it was like this weird scene in a bedroom and like this white lady, like, in the covers.
Drew
We were like, wait, I don't remember this scene.
Inya
We were like, why is Jamie and Beth.
Drew
Yeah, what the fuck happened? So I run over to my phone, kick over the Topo Chico on the Apple TV remote. Enya stands up with one of her chocolate bao buns from Dinh Tai Fun and drips chocolate onto my brand new, brand spanking new, vintage 1960s mid century modern chair that I got that I'm so proud of. Absolutely stained the fabric on it, Topo Chico spilling on it.
Inya
Then 10 minutes later, family Guy, like, look at them. They don't even give a look at them.
Drew
So she stains that Apple TV remote, is soaking in Topo Chico. Then five minutes later, mind you, who.
Inya
Kicked the over, mind you, who put.
Drew
It in the middle of my floor?
Inya
Who doesn't have coasters in their room? So I'm not allowed the amount of times I'm going to put something on.
Drew
Whose room?
Inya
Oh, but if I don't sleep in his room, I get yelled at, I get punished.
Drew
I scream at her.
Inya
No, it's actually bad. I have to change my sheets because my sister comes into town. Can Sophia just sleep in bed with us?
Drew
Yeah, of course I'll sleep in the middle. No, I'm. I'm sleeping in the middle next to my two baddies.
Inya
It's too hot for that. Actually.
Drew
Actually, me and your sister are gonna be the only ones sleeping in my bed.
Inya
I'm not even kidding. I was thinking about that. I was like, oh, because she has to sleep in that bed. Everyone's gotta take.
Drew
It's. It's literally like, you gotta take a spin. Take it for a spin. But as that's all going on, my phone is blowing up. Up. The Topo Chico's covered, the chocolate's covered. Azul just projectile vomits all over my white duvet cover. And I'm just like, oh. Like literally everything is going wrong. Like, literally everything bad.
Inya
What's the tiniest little spit up? He just got shaken up, I think all the commotion.
Drew
Also, literally two days ago, Azul was sitting in bed next to me. He starts throwing up. So I shoo him off the bed. He throws up on the carpet. He gets back up into my bed and throws up in the exact same spot.
Inya
Also, to be clear, I've taken Azul to the doctor for throwing up. He's fine. Yeah, he just eats too fast. He eats too fast and I think he's too anxious. So he just gets literally like, guys.
Drew
I have every right to be upset that India's cat throws up in my bed twice a week, right? And I, when I tried to lock him out, and I try to lock him out and Inya gets mad at me. He's like, oh, come on. He shaved. He shaved.
Inya
Don't be mean to him. Him. Like, that's our child, bro. Like, don't be rude to him.
Drew
I just, like, don't want cat.
Inya
When you have children, they will upset you, they will annoy you, and you will have to accept them as they are. And I am just training you for that.
Drew
I'm kicking out my child. If he comes out as gay, that's not cool. I don't want him having you don't.
Inya
Want him to take your spot. It's like, no, because by then it won't be as rare too.
Drew
So then everyone's gonna be gay.
Inya
By the time we all have kids, it'll be more rare to have a straight kid. So it'll be like, oof. The kid on the COVID of the straight. What's it called?
Drew
Straight 24 Karat Gay Straight Labu Boo.
Inya
That's what they're trying to make us think. That's what they want us to think. That's what they're brainwashing us into. Oh, my God. I've been watching this thing called Dancing with the Devil, and it's a TikTok cult thing.
Drew
Oh, yeah.
Inya
I have so many thoughts. Like, literally yesterday was. Was I was sitting at home alone cracking the up. Not because there's anything funny about getting your life stolen by somebody like that.
Drew
But cracking scammer get scammed.
Inya
But like, I just can't believe religious. Like, I. I can't believe what religion can do to people. Like, and it only makes me laugh because I just don't understand because I, I would.
Drew
It's the most genius scam of all time. Organized religion. Religion, no, it's.
Inya
It's insane and it's have your faith.
Drew
Have your spirituality, but organized religion, I raise my eyebrow at you, but that's.
Inya
What I'm saying is, like, I would consider myself like a spiritual, like, kind of religious person. Like, I do in a lot of ways. Like, I don't know, maybe it's. I've just like, was born with a natural DGAF that I'm just extremely indifferent in terms of heaven or hell, like, somebody threatening me with how. Threatening me with the idea of going to hell.
Drew
And I already live it every day, babe.
Inya
Not even that. But I'm like, I don't know what the fuck that is, bitch. I haven't been there. Like, for all I know, you haven't been there. I haven't been there.
Drew
Like, what if hell is lit?
Inya
Okay? All of the best entertainers are gonna be there. Might be an amazing time. Oh, my God. Girlfriend, I'm gonna tell your boyfriend. Yeah.
Drew
Oh, this is. This is. Me and Anya have been doing this. Yeah, that's my. Right there. Like, you don't even have to say all that. It's like, if something's, like, good or you like something or you want something or like you're having a good time. It's. That's.
Inya
That's my. Right there. Or just like, I'm riding that wave.
Drew
And it comes from the girl that is like, am I the only girl that doesn't like pumpkin spice lattes? Like, give me a caramel frappuccino with sprinkles in it. That's my. Right there.
Inya
Give me a double chocolate chip Frappuccino. That's my. Right there.
Drew
God, I love her. She's someone that I hold very close to my heart. Pumpkin spice latte girl.
Inya
She's still living in the real world.
Drew
When she lost her mom, it was really genuinely devastating for me. Like, I felt so bad. But she also processed it in such an advanced way, and I don't even think she realizes how advanced, like, her guilt processing was. I was like, leaving. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, wow, you're, like, final boss.
Inya
Human grief is so nasty because it literally is. Some people are meant to handle it and some people aren't. And, like, no one. No one can handle it. Not a single person on this godforsaken earth can handle it.
Drew
When my brother died, I didn't give a. I literally didn't care.
Inya
That's so true.
Drew
Yeah.
Inya
You went to Fire island right after.
Drew
I know. And then I hit Provincetown next. Yeah, I don't give a fuck. And I was under that bridge or whatever. The pier. The creepy pier.
Inya
Yeah. His party was fun.
Drew
No, what did I. I had. Oh, I had to. I shaved off my mustache for that funeral for some reason.
Inya
You did. You did. You were really hell bent, which I think is nice. It's like.
Drew
I think I just needed something to, like, focus on, like, hyper fixate on, so I didn't think about my dead brother.
Inya
I don't know. I Got my nails done for my mom's funeral.
Drew
Did you leave the. Were they short?
Inya
The two nails?
Drew
Were they lesbian nails?
Inya
I would never, like, into each their own. But that's not really my. Like, that's not.
Drew
That's. Wait, we have the. How do we do. Oh, wait, that's not my. Right there.
Inya
Oh, yeah. Oh, bobbing and weaving that like. Bobbing and weaving that like, that's.
Drew
Oh my God.
Inya
Next.
Drew
Next.
Inya
Because I'm just like, I'm not gonna say that.
Drew
No. Grieving is so weird. It is, it is so weird because it happened to you last night and it like a week ago. Like, you'll see something and like, my knee jerk thought is like, oh, my God, I need to call Sam and tell him about this. And then like, I just completely forget that he's like, dead as dust. Like, literally. I mean, he's literally dust in an urn. I mean, yeah, girl, we need to do the urn bit. Like, now that we're in here, we really have to do it.
Inya
Where was I? Oh, I was going to do that same bit with my hair. Yesterday or two days ago I got a haircut, which is always awful for me because I feel like they steal my hair even though I'm paying them to do it. Like, so why are you taking my hair away from me?
Drew
Give it back, give it back.
Inya
But I like, literally almost slipped on my own hair walking out and I looked down at it and I was like, what would anyone do if I got down to my own, like, split ends? And I was like.
Drew
Free will started, like, playing well, remember that one haircut guy that had a crush on me and like, swept my hair into a.
Inya
Hawk on you bitch. He tried to molest you.
Drew
He literally molested me. No shade. Like, he literally, like, started like, autoerotic asphyxiation.
Inya
We need to start calling him for what? What it is. Some of you are molesting people casually and like, back up, back up, back up, cuz you're not shooting your shot.
Drew
You're literally, like, you're touching me. You're touching me. It's scaring me.
Inya
It's scaring me.
Drew
Well, guys, now literally, why are you touching me? It's two days ago. Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Sunday, Saturday, Saturday. I woke up, like, not, not like I woke up, like, in such a good mood, but for some reason I was just like, so emotional. Like, I, like, literally was scrolling on Instagram reels.
Inya
Your day was weird.
Drew
I was scrolling on Instagram reels.
Inya
And literally you mimic holding your phone. You hold it like this, like it's like water.
Drew
Yeah, it's a water droplet. I was scrolling on Instagram reels and for some reason my feed started pushing me bird content. And I think it was because I was liking them because for the first time in my life I kind of started respecting birds. No, exactly. And there was this video in my life I respect.
Inya
Yeah, I used to be scared of them.
Drew
There's like this video of this like bird courting another. Like a female bird. Like doing this. Like the tricks in the sky made my tears, like it made me tear up and I was like, wow, like nature is beautiful. And then I scroll down a couple times and then it's just like a slideshow of like the beauty of birds. And I scroll through and I dead ass had tears fall because I was like, wow, like God's creation. Like this kind of eats. Like whoa, this is crazy. And then I proceeded to stay on my phone for three full hours in a row. And I can show you evidence. Like the entire three hours I was on Instagram scrolling.
Inya
It was just Instagram. Like his screen time was crazy.
Drew
I woke up up or I went to bed at 3am, woke up at 7am and then was on my phone the entire day. And I was on my phone from.
Inya
Midnight to 3:00am yeah, around 10:30am he sent me a business proposal and I ignored it. Like he sent me like six manic ass texts about like a business we should start.
Drew
No, I was like, I was like, oh, I'm going to enter like my art gallery era. I was like, in your. If I start an art gallery, you can open your coffee shop in the art gallery.
John Fry
This is John Fry from ok Storytime. Are you an aspiring singer songwriter? I have a question. Wouldn't it be cool if you were like, oh, you know Justin Bieber? Yeah, I knew him back in the day when he was starting. Oh yeah, yeah, The Weeknd, Bruno Mars, you know, I knew them when they were playing in little tiny venues or just right on their come up. Wouldn't that be nice? Well, ladies and gentlemen, I have for you the opportunity to have your the best bragging rights in your group of friends of all time. And that is nextup, live music. What is that? It is TikTok's biggest music talent show and if you're not into it, you're seriously missing out. TikTok Live and iHeartRadio are teaming up to find the next wave of music stars. And they're performing live only on TikTok from August 25th to the 29th. Watch the semifinalists give it their everything to find the next big star in the real time. I'm talking lifelong bragging rights here. It's your chance to discover and support the next superstar before they hit the big stage at LA's legendary iHeart Theater this fall. Follow ictocliveus on TikTok now and tune into every performance, every battle and the behind the scenes. Your front row seat is just one tap away. Remember, it's ictocliveus on TikTok. You can make a difference in someone's life, including your own with a job in home care. These jobs offer flexible schedules, health care, retirement options and free training. They also provide paid time off and opportunities for overtime. Visit oregonhomecarejobs.com to learn more and apply. That's oregonhomecarejobs.com.
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John Fry
Hey, it's Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile.
Drew
Now. I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited.
Inya
Premium Wireless for $15 a month is back.
John Fry
So I thought it would be fun.
Inya
If we made $15 bills.
John Fry
But it turns out that's very illegal. So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a try@mintmobile.com Switch upfront payment.
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Inya
Equivalent to $15 per month. Request required.
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Inya
Speed slow after 35 gigabytes of networks.
Commercial Announcer
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Inya
C mint mobile.com oh yeah, that's what. When I first moved to LA, I had that really bad depressive episode, and I was convinced I was gonna quit and work my way up the ladder and start being a barista at my favorite coffee shop. So I would go and hang out there every day and, like, lightly became friends with everyone who worked there. And they probably just thought I was crazy.
Drew
Yeah, but it was my passion. My screen time On Saturday was 14 hours and 22 minutes.
Inya
I need to. Like, that's bad. I can't lie.
Drew
It was. It was really bad. And for my week, it was like 11 hours, I think on average. No, it was more like 10 hours. But yeah. Yeah, that was a very dark day. And mind you, I even was, like, social. And I don't know how I was on my phone, like, even still.
Inya
Granted, I. I mean, yesterday was pretty bad for me.
Drew
I do have, like, the feature on where I don't lock my phone, so it, like, kind of stays open. But, yeah, it's so interesting looking at the data.
Inya
Okay. I just, like, I'm still caught up on the. The cult thing. I was watching. Y' all need to watch it. It's so insane.
Kai
What is it called?
Inya
Dancing with the Devil. It's this dude who started a religious cult in, like, 2010 and then ended up recruiting, like, these dancers from Tick Tock and they became huge. He had a whole production company or management company called, like, 7M or some. I don't know if it's still a thing. I think there are still people in it. And it's crazy because what he was describing was kind of like. Like, press play, like, adjacent. It's just, like, literally scam. See, that kind of scammer I don't agree with, though, because I'm like, you're literally like, religious scam is, like, oldest trick in the book.
Drew
Like, don't take advantage of, like, children.
Inya
Yeah, don't take advantage of children and people who are, like, down on their L in that way. Like, you're such a loser. You're supposed to be taking advantage of people who, like, have a surplus of money and, like, no intelligence or backbone. Like, that's who you get to with o. Someone rang the doorbell.
Drew
Oh, it's the guy. Where were we? Where.
Inya
Where we.
Drew
Where? Where were we? Oh, yeah. My screen time was literally 15 hours on Saturday, which is just absolutely that.
Inya
12 yesterday, which is pretty bad.
Drew
But I was cleaning and it's also giving, like, the freaking weekend cheers to the freaking weekend.
Inya
My overall screen time has been pretty bad, though. Like, I've Been on my phone.
Drew
Remember how, like, I had that era where, like, my screen time was, like, three to four hours a day because I was using that app? Well, I figured out a way to bypass it. And I haven't even just deleted the app off my phone. I just like. Like an ape. Like, without even thinking about it. Just, like, scroll down like a baby with an iPad. No, literally. And I like, turn it off when it shuts my apps, and I'm just like, girl, fuck you. I'm using this app. But like I say about soda, when I quit soda, my life did not change at all. My body did not change. The only thing that changed was I was sad that I wasn't drinking soda. So it actually was a net negative for me. Same with screen time. The only thing that changed is I was sad that I wasn't on my phone, and I was probably doing worse shit to fill that fucking void than just scrolling mindlessly on my phone. Phone. I love my phone.
Inya
What were you doing in the meantime? Like, can you even remember?
Drew
No, I literally. I literally could not tell you. Like, I was probably journaling or something. Like, that's so bad for you. I was probably talking to a therapist. Like, yuck.
Inya
You're probably spending time with your friends and, like, making memories. Yeah, my screen time was really down when all of our family was coming into town, and then it, like, skyrocketed up the session.
Drew
It.
Inya
I got free will.
Drew
It's like rebound relapse. It's like.
Inya
It's like the ultimate form of decompression is making myself really anxious and looking at my phone and getting so worked up and, like, weirded out by what I'm seeing on my phone that I have to go back outside and over exert myself. So then it's like this awesome cycle that never ends.
Drew
Exactly. Exactly.
Inya
Oh, but there was a. Sorry, I have to keep going back to this cult documentary. I haven't finished it yet, but I got to, like, episode three or something. And, like, this is no nothing to the people in it. But there was a point where there are, like, arguments that are happening that, like, made me laugh out loud because I'm like. I'm actually just watching two sisters argue in the realest way. Like, what the does this have to do with the cult? Like, the things y' all are beefing about is really just like, some. Me and my sister would be about.
Drew
Things you lied about, about the things you lied about.
Inya
But it was so, like, just crazy because, like, the sister said she was gonna be there early for her, like, niece's birthday party, but then showed up two hours late and didn't apologize. And they're, like, in this cafe yelling at each other about it in this documentary. And I was, like, in my bathroom getting ready for bed, and I had.
Drew
Like, kind of, how does this relate to the cult?
Inya
And then I reheard what was happening, and I was standing there in my bathroom looking at my laptop, and I was like, if anyone heard this, like, what does this have to do with the fucking cold? Like, I'm literally just eavesdropping. And with that being said, I need a new season of Mormon Secret Lives of Morgan.
Drew
I. I fully agree. Also, the piano tuner guy is the most gentle human being I've ever interacted with in my life. And his aura is crazy. Like, he's so sweet. Like, he is literally so nice. And he could tell I was, like, dumb as fuck and was like, I.
Inya
Mean, your outfit right now is serving super well.
Drew
I know. I literally, like, five minutes into talking to him, I was like, oh, my God.
Inya
I turn around and it says, gay guy.
Drew
I'm like, this is. This is awesome and great. Like, this is really funny.
Inya
I like that virtue signaling the way in which we're married. It's literally, oh, what's that trend? That. It's like, rules of our unspoken rules of our relationship.
Drew
Oh, what are the unspoken rules of our relationship?
Inya
The unspoken rule of our relationship is I'll get the appointment or, like, a handyman or something like this, where it's like, I'll do the, like, back and forth. But once that man is here to do his job, I'm not speaking to that man, like, like, but to me.
Drew
Unspoken rule of our relationship is you leave all of your clothes on the floor of the laundry room and inside the washer and the dryer.
Inya
Unspoken rule of our relationship is you're a maid and I'm a boss. Like, what a boss does. What a boss does.
Drew
What are unspoken rules, though? Like, that's. That's a really good one. Like, what's another one? Like, if I get coffee in the morning, you make the bed. If you get coffee in the morning, I make the bed.
Inya
Well, no, you kind of just make the bed all the time because it's your bed.
Drew
So, yeah, when you make the bed, I still unmake it and make it.
Inya
He's, like, neurotic about the way he makes his fucking bed, so making his bed is kind of useless.
Drew
But it's the thought that counts, and I genuinely appreciate it. Every time I'm like, oh, that was sweet.
Inya
Like, this week, Drew got up and went and got us coffee. So I made the bed because I wake up, and there's not a body next to me. I'm like, ooh.
Drew
Unspoken rule is that if we get food, we eat it on the floor of my room no matter what. Now, like, we just, like.
Inya
Well, unspoken rule of our marriage is I have to sleep in Drew's bed or else that means, like, he's gonna think I'm mad at him. And it's, like, kind of weird.
Drew
And it's like, I never once thought that.
Inya
I don't think you've ever thought that. But, like, that's also what I think. I'm like, oh, my God. This is weird. Like, it just. Like, it's not actually weird, but it does become, like, it, like, weirdly has to be a conversation, because on both, it's like. It's like, I'll be like, oh, I'm not sleeping in your bed tonight. And he's like, oh, why? And I'm like, I don't know. And then it's like, no. And I'm like, you're right. Whatever.
Drew
Yeah. We should just make. No, The. The main reason is it's like, either I haven't slept in a bed alone in or you haven't slept in a bed alone in weeks. And we're like, we need to sleep in a bed alone. Like, we need to take that pony for a ride. What's an unspoken rule of mine and Kya's relationship is if he. If I'm hitting it, he can't look at me.
Kai
Yeah, it's. I know.
Drew
I know.
Inya
Kaia's only did missionary.
Drew
Yeah. I look away. I know.
Kai
It's really painful.
Inya
Oh, my God. Unspoken rule of our relationship is if we go out, whoever drives. Drives out of the house, has to drive back.
Drew
Oh. Literally. And whoever drives, the other person pays for parking.
Inya
Yeah.
Drew
Simple. But that's just, like, common courtesy. That shouldn't be how it is. Remember when you woke up and you had a spider in your hair?
Inya
Oh, yeah. There was a spider in my bonnet. I woke up, and I slept with.
Drew
The spider in her hair overnight. In her bonnet.
Inya
Yeah.
Drew
And you know that that spider thought it hit the lottery, too. It was like, damn, this is, like. This is nice. Like, it's warm in here.
Kai
Like, like unlimited Dubai chocolate.
Drew
Yeah. No, literally, it's, like, warm in here. Like, this is like, I can make webs in this rat nest. Like, this is lit. And then he woke up in the morning and just got ripped to shreds.
Inya
Oh. What's worse is he definitely. He was, like, still having the night of his life. Because I. When I sleep in Drew's bed, I, like, have my bonnet on, and it always comes off, but I, like, will put it on. I'll put my head under his two pillows. I'll put my head on the first pillow, and then the other pillow. I, like, kind of have, like, up there. And at some point, it will fall on my head. And then just by natural, like, I don't know, like, I'll just end up getting my head up and my bonnet gets left behind. So it was left in the bonnet. And then I got. I woke up, and I was like, oh, that's so annoying. And I wanted to, like, maybe go back to sleep. So I, like, lifted the pillow and grabbed it and, like, it flew out onto my lap, and it was still kind of moving. And then I beat the out of it.
Drew
It was a daddy long leg, too. Daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, Daddy.
Kai
The libs have gone too far.
Drew
Naming. These are literally, like. They're so.
Inya
The gay spider.
Drew
The gay spider. The daddy Spider. Y' all know that one song that you've heard on the Internet for the last, like, seven years that it's like. Y' all know that song?
Inya
No.
Drew
Yes, you do.
Kai
The last melody kind of unlocked something, but I still don't.
Drew
No, wait.
Kai
That part I do recognize, but I still don't know.
Inya
Whoa, dude.
Kai
Oh, yes, of course.
Drew
And then they get low, and then they go into the whole thing right here.
Kai
How many times has that sound been used? I feel like it's gonna be, like.
Drew
At least literally, like, what was Soundscape 3000 or whatever from YouTube?
Kai
Oh, Soundscape 00.
Drew
Yeah, that's that. The modern version of that.
Inya
What were you going to say about that?
Drew
I just. I just wanted to sing it, honestly. I wanted to see if y' all could c guess it from me singing it. But now that you heard me sing it and then you heard the song, you know what I was doing.
Inya
Well, that's, like, when they, like, play the Laurel Yanny thing. Whichever one you read first.
Drew
Green needle, brainstorm. Green needle, green needle, brainstorm. Yanny. Yanny Lore.
Inya
Laurel. Laurel. Hi.
Drew
My name is Carmen Winstead.
Inya
I literally can't wait till you're, like, geriatric and dementia. Dude, I'm gonna have dementia early.
Drew
Oh, yeah, we know. Get on the ozempic now.
Inya
Ozempic undoes it. Yeah, I gotta get back on the wagon.
Drew
Hop back on.
Inya
I fell off The. I fell off the Ozempic. We can tell it's catching back up. I can't believe, like, one, how many people are actually on Ozempic, and two, how many people are bullying people who obviously got off of Ozempic because they were bullied into a position where Ozempic felt like the only option, but then they got yelled at for being too skinny and being on Ozempic and then they got off Ozempic.
Drew
It's projection and insecurity. Do it for yourself, babe.
Inya
Ho. A lot of y' all just need to, like, tap into my Sims or something.
Drew
Or, like, yeah, y' all need to. Y' all need to, like, literally start.
Inya
Dude, hobbies are just dead. That's why how we've gotten here. And I've been saying it like, I.
Kai
Have a hobbies hobby every meal.
Inya
Shut the up.
Drew
Every meal.
Inya
No, I'm not. I'm not kidding. Kai, do not.
Kai
I write down all the calories, all the macronutrients, and then I. I weigh all my food.
Inya
So you have an eating disorder.
Kai
It's a hobby. I'm a man. It's a hobby.
Inya
It's so sad that men got that hobby so late.
Kai
I know. We were pretty late to that one.
Inya
Yeah, it's so annoying because, like, now it feels like hearing men talk about eating disorders and, like, beauty standards now feels like when A woman is 22 and meets a guy who's the same age who just did mushrooms and is like, dude, the world is, like, so, like, alive. Like, it feels like that same reaction of like, oh, my God, this would have been a fun conversation if I was, like, 13 again, like. But now, like, we're not finding anything new. I just have to sit there and be like, what?
Drew
Y' all know Amy and Made in Japan, the YouTuber? No, look her up. You know her. But that. That she stayed in her lane. She minded her business, she stood on business, and she is still to this day creating some of the greatest content the ever the Internet's ever seen. She is a special human being and we must protect her. And I need to see fan cams of her because. No Emy E M M Y may Made in Japan. I think she changed her name to Amy Maid.
Inya
Our wi fi sucks. Oh, yeah.
Drew
No, she's. No, she's fierce. Like, she's fierce as like, her. I rediscovered her last night from the.
Inya
Raindrop cake daddy ting.
Drew
No, she's fine. She's fine. For real. And, like, she made the raindrop cake, and that was, like, probably one of the first videos I saw of hers and I looked it up again last night and I was like, wow. She likes, like really did her thing.
Inya
She's just goated. She's like, what's her nuts? Before, like, Mr. Beast became like her target.
Drew
Yeah.
Inya
Like, and you know what? She was doing the work, cuz we were like, Mr. Beast is evil. Mr. Beast is evil. She said, Mr. Beast is evil. Boom. Evil.
Drew
Oh my gosh. Yeah, let me, let me see it.
Inya
Oh, my gosh. No one who was fk to she was saying, where's the thinkers? Where's the thinkers?
Drew
Right here, right there.
Inya
Where are the new thinkers? Bro, if people knew what I was thinking all the time, I actually. No, never mind.
Drew
Never mind, you guys. The last thing I want to bring up, the last thing that I'll say because it's boring. And I wait to the end of the episode, every single episode to talk about basketball. But I finally got to see Tyrann Stokes play in person. He's the number one ranked high school basketball recruitment. And it was a very special night. And we made eye contact like three times. Oh, my gosh. Wait, you know that? Yeah. John Moran. That was cool.
Inya
Anya Kingship.
Drew
That was actually sick. But I saw Tyrone.
Inya
I would say it's kind of one of the guys where I hang out with guys.
Drew
You are not a girl's girl. You're a guy's girl.
Inya
I'm like, guys are always like, dude, she's so cool.
Drew
She's one of the boys.
Inya
She's like a boy.
Drew
Beer, she'll drink beer with me.
Inya
She'll drink beer and talk down on women.
Drew
You want to fuck your homeboy, you're gay.
Inya
And show nudes of people unsolicited. I think I'm going to get into an unsolicited nude sending.
Drew
Yeah, I had my arc a couple years ago because then if somebody, if.
Inya
Somebody posts the proof. Boom. Small claims court. Why are you posting my nudes? Legally?
Drew
That's like a Nathan for Nathan Fielder bit. Yeah, but Tyran Stokes, he's cool and he's actually good at basketball. And it was really crazy seeing how much better he was. Today I want to go to a.
Inya
Basketball game to get drunk. That just seems like a good place to get.
Drew
Let's go to the Mavs. Let's go to the Mavs Lakers game in la. And you black out probably before. I mean, probably like November or something.
Inya
Oh, my God. So long.
Drew
So far away.
Inya
So far away. Like, no, I, I only do. I only want to get drunk like that. That I think in the summer, by the time fall time comes, it really. I think I play Silent Hill every winter and fall because there's no other way to describe exactly how my brain starts to feel. So then drinking isn't as much fun. Cuz I get really sad.
Drew
Yeah.
Inya
Oh, I get all melancholy. What am I doing with my day?
Drew
I found out my drink of choice and for the first time ever I was like, oh, I think I could be an alcoholic. Like I think, I think I could unlock it. Like this is really special and really all I have to do is really.
Inya
Dress was his vibe. I like, I wish I recorded you in the car because you did. Oh yeah. We left a meeting with our agents.
Drew
And Drew had two vodka martinis, extra fucking stinky and dirty. And then after that I had a latte. Bitch. I was euphoric. Like I haven't felt felt that good in so long. And I realized like, oh, it's because the alcohol is doing what it does for other people, for me right now. And then I replicated it with two espresso martinis at Lucky Strike and I felt just as good. But every single time I do that though two martinis and some coffee, my stomach hurts. The worst it's ever hurt in my entire life.
Inya
Life.
Drew
As I'm trying to fall asleep, I.
Inya
Literally saw a tik tok like that. Oh, I don't think I liked it.
Drew
It's a given a take, a yen and a yang. In the moment I feel great. But before I sleep I feel vile.
Inya
Yeah, and you stay up. You stay up really late.
Drew
Yeah, I was up till 5am but I did drink those espresso martinis late. It was like.
Inya
It was already like midnight.
Drew
My gosh. You're like smiling at it like you're in love with me.
Inya
I am in love with you.
Drew
I'm in love with you.
Inya
Oh, well, I'm in love with you. And then we saw Kai.
Drew
Oh yeah, we did see Kai.
Kai
What do you mean? What do you mean you saw me?
Inya
You were on tv.
Kai
That's not what I look like.
Inya
That's you.
Drew
That's literally.
Kai
You know what that is what I think I look like and what I look.
Inya
This is about to be my house. I'm literally. This is you. And then I'm Stan. Like I'm Stan and Drew is what's his nuts?
Drew
India, do you know the Trolley problem?
Inya
Wait, no, wait. What's the dad's name?
Kai
Stan. Is it not Stan the dad?
Inya
Can you shut the up? Oh my God. What the fuck was I Looking for.
Drew
Like, never speak to her was.
Inya
And we. It was really sweet. We got, like, dinner with our agents who we hadn't seen in a long time. And without them, we would literally be like dust bunnies and Randy Marsh.
Kai
Randy? Yeah.
Inya
One of our agents ordered Drew, like, a specific martini, and it literally had Drew so hype.
Drew
And I was saying shit to those people that I should have never spoken about. That's for close friends and relationships only.
Inya
No, I. You've been on, like, a weird tangent or not tangent. Your trust has obviously been tainted.
Drew
Oh, my. I don't trust anyone anymore.
Inya
Yeah.
Drew
Yeah.
Inya
But that's, like, sad to me because I think what makes you so special is your vulnerability.
Drew
Our vulnerability is our openness.
Inya
And that's why you're so gay.
Drew
It gets thrown in my face, though. It gets used against me. Guys, you want to see how tan I am?
Kai
Oh, yeah. No, you look good.
Inya
Whoa.
Kai
Look at your chest. Let's see the back.
Inya
You are tan. But I think this light is not doing you justice because you literally stood and got closer to the light and you looked the wide as you. Wait, Kai, can you put on, like, a glowing.
Drew
Make me, like, glow? Yeah.
Inya
Ooh.
Drew
Okay. That was the episode. Thank you guys for tuning in. My media is grins by Charlie XCX and then I did a double feature and watched F1 and then 20 seconds later went insol. Naked Gun. Everyone was right. That movie was made for me. It's hilarious and it did inspire me in a lot of ways. It was very special. No, literally. And then F1 was cool. It wasn't as good as Naked Gun or Top gun, though. Wait, F1. Top gun. Naked gun.
Inya
F1 with my top gun.
Drew
Naked gun shooting buns A1 taking pictures with my camera. Sony FX producer from FX picked up.
Inya
My show is how to Teleport Jane Remover. To each his Own Trainer Dragon Treece Rushin the second time around. Shalom Mar Feel Cash Co Bane Feel like why Carly Simon La Isla Bonita Madonna. Hi.
John Fry
This is John Fry from ok. Storytime. Are you an aspiring singer songwriter? What do these three things have in common? Bitcoin, fidget, Spinners and Beanie Babies. These are three things that you probably all missed out on. But ladies and gentlemen, I am here to ensure that you don't miss out on this. TikTok Live and iHeartRadio are throwing the biggest live music competition on TikTok. Next up, live music. And you can catch it all in real time. The semifinals are happening August 25th through August 29th and the hottest emerging artists performing live on TikTok where they're shot at the legendary I Heart Theater stage. So come and support your favorite artist and tune in for the live performances, behind the scenes moments and more only on TikTok Live. You us that is the handle on TikTok. IctorCLive us this labor Day.
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Inya
Chances are you've been to the doctor.
John Fry
Recently and you probably handed over your.
Drew
Insurance, your ID and even your Social Security number.
John Fry
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Inya
Places that has your personal information info.
John Fry
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Drew
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Inya
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Drew
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Inya
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Podcast: Emergency Intercom
Hosts: Inya Umanzor & Drew Phillips
Date: August 27, 2025
In this characteristically chaotic and hilarious episode, hosts Inya and Drew (with frequent guest Kai) embrace the messiness of their lives, from being scammed by subpar studio renovators to navigating minor emotional crises and disasters in both friendships and daily routines. The episode is a whirlwind of vulnerability, absurd humor, stories about scams, mishaps, friendship rules, grief, and coping (usually by eating on the floor together). As always, the conversation is unscripted, meandering, and brutally honest, with the underlying theme of vulnerability serving as the group’s superpower—even as it sometimes leads them into trouble.
On Scamming and Being Scammed:
"I'm tired of getting taken advantage of… I trust too easily, give myself away too much." — Drew (12:20)
"Scamming has gotten way too easy because you dumb bitches can do it from your fucking type." — Inya (15:54)
On Friendship Rituals:
"Unspoken rule of our relationship is you're a maid, and I'm a boss. Like, what a boss does." — Inya (58:52)
"If we get food, we eat it on the floor of my room no matter what." — Drew (59:36)
On Vulnerability:
"I think what makes you so special is your vulnerability." — Inya (72:30)
On Grief:
"No one can handle it. Not a single person on this godforsaken earth can handle it." — Inya (44:06)
"When my brother died, I didn't give a. I literally didn't care." — Drew (44:17)
"I got my nails done for my mom's funeral." — Inya (44:58)
On Gender and Everyday Annoyances:
"The malfunction of male DNA…" — Inya (18:13)
"I'm just saying, what's the point of, like, being a feminist if you're not getting congratulated for it constantly?" — Kai (07:16)
On Life and Digital Overload:
"Doomscrolling is my ultimate form of decompression." — Inya (56:06)
"I love my phone." — Drew (55:35)
The episode is messy, brutally honest, self-deprecating, and full of inside jokes, tangents, and dark humor. Inya and Drew let their thoughts tumble out with chaotic energy, often switching from serious introspection to crude jokes in a heartbeat. Underneath the chaos, there's a deep appreciation for honest connection, mutual support, and making the best of vulnerable moments—even if that means laughing through literal and metaphorical disasters.
Despite the endless parade of mishaps, betrayals (by both handymen and their own attention spans), and spiraling existential riffs, Inya, Drew, and Kai manage to find comfort and hilarity in their shared vulnerability. Their openness—about grief, scams, and daily chaos—becomes not just a coping mechanism, but a defining trait that bonds them, making “vulnerability is our superpower” a lived reality, not just a catchy title. For anyone craving truth, mess, and unfiltered friendship in podcast form, this episode is peak Emergency Intercom.
[Ad segments and non-content sections omitted.]