Pickle Rick

Summary

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Emergency Intercom – “Pickle Rick” (December 19, 2025)

Hosts: Enya Umanzor & Drew Phillips
Guest/co-host: Kai

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Episode Overview

In this high-energy, characteristically chaotic episode, Enya, Drew, and Kai navigate a rapidly shifting landscape of irreverent observations, inside jokes, pop-culture tangents, and the familiar themes of friendship, mental health, and self-deprecation. From the existential conundrum of Pickle Rick to heated debates on Diet Coke, gift-giving drama, and their unique struggles living with a broken heater, the trio delivers a raw, comedic dialogue peppered with philosophical musing, dark humor, and cultural commentary.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Squid Game Auditions & The Mr. Beast Paradox

• Enya recounts submitting a self-tape for Squid Games—the only time she’s ever auditioned—and laments not being selected, while Drew jokes, “We put Squid Games on the map” (05:00).
• The conversation pivots to Mr. Beast’s cultural saturation, with disdain and comedic hyperbole:
  • “Let’s get Mr. Beast on Howard Stern.”
  • “Let’s get him on the guillotine in the middle of a public square.” (05:26)
• Despite dissing Mr. Beast, Drew admits to eating all his gifted chocolate.
• White chocolate—and by proxy "white boys"—gets roasted by Enya and Drew for being “repulsive” (06:01).

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2. Diet Coke vs. Real Coke: A Matter of Principle

• Drew provocatively states:
  “I don’t think I can fully trust someone that chooses Diet Coke over regular Coke…I don’t think you love yourself.” (06:09)
• Anya links beverage preference to “where that person is at spiritually.”
• The crew bemoans the ubiquity of Diet Coke and nostalgically identifies as the “last real Coke drinker in this house” (06:43).

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3. Sock Disputes, Mid-cut Socks, and Gym Etiquette

• Sock shaming and borrowing leads to Drew’s theory that “mid-cut socks in the gym” are pervy (08:10):
  “Every time I go to the gym and I’m wearing a mid cut sock, I look like a pervert.”
• Anya and Kai argue back that this “makes perfect sense.”

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4. Cold House Chronicles & Seasonal Depression

• The heating in their house is broken, and the group suffers through a “58-degree LA house” (09:40).
• Enya connects the cold with “seasonal depression” and irrationally not wanting to leave or shower:
  “In my head, outside is 50 degrees, even though every day here is like 75.” (09:57)
• The only room with heat is Enya’s (“God protecting women/ovaries”) (10:30).

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5. Parenting Hypotheticals and Emotional Control

• Enya floats the idea of solo parenting:
  “Like everything in my life, I have an issue where I like to have full control because I genuinely am convinced I will do it the right way.” (10:54)
• The hosts riff on hypothetically co-parenting together, predicting disaster:
  “Our kid would actually maybe be horrifying…they haven’t spoken a single word out loud since.” (11:18)

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6. Surprises & Kai’s Painting Gift Fiasco

• The group roasts Kai for the “surprise” painting he delayed giving them, which wasn’t even from him:
  “The surprise is artwork by… it's an oil painting of Drew knocked out on the floor that the girl gave to Kai to give to us.” (15:03)
• Jokes about gift-giving, “mid-ass behavior,” and entitlement abound (17:40).

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7. Gift-giving, Holiday Magic & Growing Up

• Enya laments the “magic of Christmas” fading as siblings age, and Drew learns the term “chud”:
  • “Chud is like the opposite of a chad. Like a Reddit mod…gets really excited about Funko Pops.” (19:03)
• The episode explores the evolution from magical holidays to practical adulthood.

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8. Male Eating Disorders & Looksmaxing Culture

• Enya critiques the rise of male eating disorders and the absurdity of “fiber optic drones” for vlogs (19:35).
• The hosts spiral into “megadosing zinc” and supplement-era jokes (20:13).

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9. Mental Health: Depression & Suicidal Ideation

• With characteristic dark humor, Enya and Drew candidly discuss mental health:
  • Drew: “I’m in my suicidal ideation era…but it’s always there.” (21:01)
  • Anya: “The foundation of my thinking is suicidal ideation.” (21:22)
• References to talking with therapists and indifference/frustration.

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10. Gift Solutions & Tech Nostalgia

• Anya promotes Aura Frames for holiday gifts as a useful way to share embarrassing childhood photos (22:41).
• The group reacts to tech nostalgia, discussing “YouNow” and the early days of livestreaming (27:24-27:54).

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11. Sleep Aids, Delirium, and Substance Bits

• Drew details escalating his sleep medication dose:
  “I jumped up from two [milligrams] to six in, like, two weeks!” (29:37)
• Anya and Drew joke about finasteride, Ozempic, and “OD’ing” for weight loss, ultimately dismissing eating disorders as “corny” (31:09).

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12. Stealing as Social Commentary

• Enya and Drew share empathy for petty theft by necessity:
  • “If you see someone stealing food, don’t look. Let them get away with that goddamn food.” (37:28)
• They connect this to surveillance culture and the threat of a world where all moments are recorded.

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13. Vulnerability, Crying, and Emotional Growth

• Drew admits:
  “Especially in the last week, I’ve been crying so much more…really, it just makes sense to cry more.” (42:58)
• The group discusses emotional evolution and coping in adulthood.

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14. Rick & Morty, Pickle Rick, and Pop Culture Commodification

• Black Mirror and Rick & Morty are compared as examples of overexposed cultural touchstones:
  • “Black Mirror is like Rick and Morty...Then the smoke shops found it. And now it’s Pickle Rick.” (44:14)
• The “Pickle Rick” meme becomes a benchmark for basic pop culture tastes.

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15. Society's Decay via Tech, Single-use Plastics, and Hygiene

• Absurd debate on the merits of floss picks and single-use plastics:
  • Drew: “I’m very pro single use plastic. I think we need more...takeout containers.” (62:32)
• Jokes about hygiene (Band-Aids, bathroom etiquette, catching own poop) segue into the environmental impact of takeout containers.

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16. Cosmetic Procedures, Baldness, and Pubic Hair Philosophy

• The hosts challenge the stigma around baldness:
  • “Be bald. You’re meant to be bald.” (60:13)
• Hot takes on body hair (“it’s chic to have a big ass bush,” but “don’t floss your teeth on me with it,” 61:04).

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17. Sexual Mores, Safe Sex & Social Pressure

• Jokes about reusing condoms for the environment and the “boost” of unprotected sex (satirical):
  • “If everybody gets STDs, it’s like, no one has pregame baby.” (63:31)
• Mocking of performative sex-positivity online.

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18. Drew’s Philosophy Corner

• Drew introduces a tongue-in-cheek “philosophy corner”:
  • “Laughter is the shortest distance between two people… depression hates a moving target… he who has a why to live can bear with almost any how.” (64:53-65:45)
• The trio debates the pressure to find a “purpose.”

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19. Media Recommendations & Housekeeping

• Media picks include:
  • Drew: “Memorizing” by DJ Delacroix; “I Could Die for You” by Red Hot Chili Peppers; “I Wanna Be Adored” by Stone Roses; sports moments (74:37).
  • Anya: “Finesse” & “24 Karat Magic” by Bruno Mars; rewatching Muppet movies (75:49).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Diet Coke:
  “I don’t think you love yourself.” – Drew (06:09)

• On Mid-Cut Socks:
  “If they were wearing mid-cut socks, let alone mid-cut TNA socks...perving out in the corner...that’s a dangerous motherfucker.” – Anya & Drew (08:45-09:07)

• On Mr. Beast:
  “Let’s get him on the guillotine in the middle of a public square.” – Anya (05:26)

• On “Suicidal Ideation Era”:
  “The foundation of my thinking is suicidal ideation.” – Anya (21:22)

• On Black Mirror & Rick and Morty:
  “Black Mirror is one of those things—it’s like Rick and Morty. Yes, you have to give it credit…but then the smoke shops found it. And now it’s Pickle Rick.” – Anya (44:14)

• On Single-Use Plastic:
  “I’m very pro single-use plastic. I think we need more...takeout containers.” – Drew (62:32)

• On Crying:
  “As of late, I don’t know what it is…I’ve been crying so much more. It just makes sense to cry more.” – Drew (42:58)

• On Stealing & Surveillance:
  “If you see someone stealing food, turn away, let them get away with it.” – Drew (37:28)
  “I feel that way about stealing from Claire’s too. They obviously need it.” – Enya (37:44)

• On Pubic Hair:
  “It’s so chic to have a big ass bush.” – Drew (60:59)

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Key Segment Timestamps

• [04:33] – Episode “real” intro; Squid Game casting, Mr. Beast talk
• [06:09] – Diet Coke vs. real Coke debate
• [08:10] – Sock shaming, mid-cut socks in the gym
• [09:40] – Broken heating, cold house and its effect on mood
• [10:54] – Co-parenting hypotheticals, therapy, control
• [15:03] – The painting gift saga, Kai’s surprise, gift-giving dynamics
• [19:03] – What is a chud? Holiday magic fading
• [21:01] – Mental health check-ins, depression, suicidal ideation
• [29:37] – Escalating sleep medication, delirious nighttime routines
• [31:09] – Dark humor on new weight loss drugs, Ozempic bits
• [37:28] – Ethics of stealing in the surveillance age
• [42:58] – Crying more: emotional evolution
• [44:14] – Rick & Morty, Pickle Rick, Black Mirror as cultural touchstones
• [60:13] – Why bald is beautiful, body hair takes
• [64:53] – Drew’s Philosophy Corner
• [74:37] – Media recs, sports talk
• [75:49] – In-flight boners, Muppet movie recs

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Summary & Tone

This episode of Emergency Intercom exemplifies the show’s signature blend of absurdist humor, meandering authenticity, and cutthroat friendship. The vibe is both self-aware and self-effacing, marked by a sense of safe-space vulnerability laced with unfiltered, sometimes dark comedy. Pop culture, personal habits, mental health, and the minutiae of housemate life all set the stage for riffs that are both intentionally scattershot and surprisingly insightful.

The hosts toggle between profound and profane, refusing to take themselves—or contemporary culture—too seriously, in a way that’s relatable to their young, chronically online audience. Longtime listeners will appreciate Enya and Drew’s candor, running gags, and seamless transitions between roasts and real talk.

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Transcript

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[Anya]

Check 12 Are we recording? Hi, I'm Michelle Bernstein, an award winning chef, restaurateur and mom. I have a lot on my plate, including my psoriatic arthritis symptoms. That's why I was prescribed Cosentyx. It helps me move better.

[Drew]

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[Anya]

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[Drew]

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[Anya]

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[Anya]

Oh my gosh. Hi guys. Welcome to this episode of Emergency Intercom. Today we're going to get into so many crazy.

[Drew]

So many deep topics.

[Anya]

So many crazy topics. You won't even know. You'll walk away having no idea what was said. They never put me in squid games.

[Drew]

Wait, that is crazy when you think about it.

[Anya]

That's the only self tape in my life I've ever done and I really wanted that.

[Drew]

Also, let's talk about this.

[Anya]

I put my heart and soul in it.

[Drew]

We put squid games on the map.

[Anya]

That's what I'm saying because nobody was even talking about squid Games before, we were like, let's. I saw somebody.

[Drew]

Let's talk about that. Let's talk about Mr. Beast.

[Anya]

I. I will say we were the first grown adults, but actually, it's not a good thing. Like, it's. We were the only grown adults who were privy to Mr. Beast until all the people we knew started having kids. Now all the adults in my life, for the most part, know about Mr. Beast because they have children. Wait.

[Drew]

Let's get Mr. Beast on Howard Stern.

[Anya]

Let's get him on the guillotine in the middle of a public square. And I want to be holding.

[Drew]

I've called Mr. Beast Demonic in the last four episodes, and he still sends me pr. And guess I've eaten every single bit of chocolate he sent me.

[Anya]

Yeah.

[Drew]

What, am I gonna throw it away?

[Kai]

That's not true. Actually, there's some chocolate in the wrapper when I went in your room.

[Drew]

Well, there. There's two left, but they're half eaten. I started them yesterday.

[Anya]

You tried to convince me to try them, and I'm just not. Because the flavors sound disgusting. Actually, it's like, I. I. But I also. I hate white chocolate. White chocolate, to me, is actually repulsive.

[Drew]

What about me? Easy. White chocolate. White boys are changing the game.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Look at me. Okay, the first thing I want to talk about today is I don't think I can fully trust someone that chooses Diet Coke over regular Coke. I don't think you love yourself.

[Anya]

Yeah, it says a lot about where that person is at spiritually.

[Drew]

The only people I can trust are Benny and Mary Beth. Other than that, like, everybody else, they drink Diet Coke. Yeah.

[Kai]

Yeah, they do.

[Drew]

They love disgusting.

[Anya]

Free yourself.

[Kai]

Well, I tried it recently. It's actually pretty good. Especially some lemon.

[Anya]

Don't even.

[Drew]

Like, every time I order a soda from a restaurant, it's actually. It actually is becoming my problem. It's becoming a problem because everyone's drinking Diet Coke. I'm the last real Coke. I'm the last real Coke drinker in this.

[Anya]

I'm not kidding. I've been given Diet Coke because, like, I unironically. Recently, it happened to me when I was alone, and I. I literally went, like, to myself, why are you trying to put Diet Coke on me?

[Drew]

Because of that.

[Anya]

Also, to me, it's like, people who are, like, either on one side or the other about, like, vaping or smoking. It's like, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby. That shouldn't be in you. You're letting it get all up in you. Get your feet down. Like something is Wrong with you. That's disgusting. Also, your socks are like ugly.

[Kai]

They're ugly.

[Drew]

No, they're literally cute.

[Anya]

They're very generic ugly socks. And I believe that you should be somebody who's like upping your sock game.

[Drew]

I think they're cute. Yeah, but I just have a foot thing.

[Anya]

What did I say?

[Drew]

So you better put those away.

[Anya]

Everything Drew puts on is from closet Diana.

[Drew]

So like what am I wearing that's yours right now?

[Anya]

My jeans.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

Those are my jeans.

[Anya]

Those are my jeans.

[Drew]

What else?

[Anya]

What's that? Where's that shirt from?

[Drew]

Acne?

[Anya]

I mean my socks. Those are definitely. You're wearing Aritzia.

[Drew]

No, no, no. When we did that Aritzia campaign, they gave us a bunch of money.

[Anya]

Those socks have not that long. You take my socks.

[Drew]

I swear to God. I don't.

[Anya]

Also not finishing that sentence. They gave us a lot of money.

[Drew]

Well, no, they gave us a lot of money and like store credit, which I didn't. You didn't use it, which is crazy. But I bought a bunch of shit and then gave it away to all my friends. But I bought for myself a bunch of socks. TNA socks from them. And when I got them, they were all midcut. And now I'm a mid cut queen. But every time I go to the gym and I'm wearing a mid cut sock, I look like a pervert. That's another thing I don't understand.

[Anya]

What does that like that makes perfect sense.

[Kai]

That makes perfect sense.

[Drew]

It makes perfect sense.

[Anya]

What about that is pervy?

[Drew]

Well, no, because I'm looking at all of the naked guys in the locker room while I'm wearing socks.

[Anya]

Socks. Really? I'm not kidding. For some reason, like if I saw somebody perving out in a locker room and they were fully butt ass naked, I'd be like, damn, that's crazy. If they were wearing mid cut socks, let alone mid cut TNA socks. Perving out in the corner.

[Drew]

That's a dangerous motherfucker.

[Anya]

Why is that? Check her purse.

[Drew]

Her too. Check her hard drive. Wait, also, what is it? If you stink in the winter, you're a dangerous. And yeah, you're dangerous. Mind you, our heater has been out in our house for literally two months now. Today, before they were recording, I finally got the H Vac people in here to come look at it. They didn't fix it. They just literally left and they just.

[Anya]

Came and made a bunch of noise. Honestly. Yeah, that's what they did.

[Drew]

They were like, sorry. So now me and Inya are freezing cold in our house. We woke up this morning 58 degrees inside our home. Yeah, it's bad in LA and it stays inside all day even if it's 90 degrees outside.

[Anya]

Part of. I was talking to my therapist about it and I was like part of my seasonal depression. I'm really like in a bad spot with right now is. It gets so cold in here that like I wrap up and I'm like, I can't leave the house because now in my head, outside is 50 degrees, even though every day here is like 75 degrees. And then I just don't want to leave the house cuz I'm so scared. It's so cold out there. And also I don't want to take a shower.

[Drew]

To our rooms. We can't explore our own home because it's literally like an arctic jungle.

[Anya]

I mean, I will say my room does have heating.

[Drew]

I know. And is the only room that has heating, which is so gay.

[Anya]

Well, actually it's God protecting women.

[Drew]

Yeah, it's protecting your ovaries, your baby makers.

[Anya]

It's so that I can have children soon. I'm bored of I'm going to have a kid.

[Drew]

It. No, I'll help raise it. I think we would be good parents. No, I. I mean, we would hate each other, but like, we would be good parents. We would raise that kid right.

[Anya]

I think anybody who would have. Who would. First of all, I don't want to raise a kid with anybody, period. I would want it. I want. I would want it to be a solo job because like everything in my life, I think I have an issue where like, I like to have full control because I genuinely am convinced I will do it the right way. So I don't think I. We would survive.

[Drew]

No, we wouldn't.

[Anya]

No, we wouldn't.

[Drew]

But our kid would be lit. Our kid.

[Anya]

No, our kid would actually maybe be horrifying because they'd be like, yeah, my parents were great. They haven't spoken to each other verbally.

[Drew]

In a long time.

[Anya]

They haven't spoken a single word out loud since.

[Drew]

But look at this podcast they hosted for five years.

[Anya]

What happened to a point where we just literally don't speak to each other anymore?

[Drew]

I can't even think of.

[Anya]

Who do you think would break the silence?

[Kai]

Me.

[Drew]

Well, I would try to call you, but you wouldn't answer your damn phone.

[Anya]

Yeah, true, true, true, true, true. No, no, I don't think. I really can't foresee that happening though.

[Drew]

No.

[Anya]

Because we really butt heads and it's fine.

[Drew]

Yeah, we yelled at each other. The other day, for the first time in five years.

[Anya]

Oh, my gosh. Like, literally, I was just so frustrated. Like, I think it was, like, valid on both ends, but definitely a lot of it was. I've just been so frustrated recently, which I'll actually. I don't know. I'm kind of confused by myself. And that's also what I was talking to my therapist about. I don't know where I feel so indifferent right now. Leaning frustrated. Like, I'm definitely easily, like, frustrated right now. How many times can I say that word?

[Drew]

What word?

[Anya]

I was trying so hard to, like, think of, like, busting in trade or something. Like, something that sounded like frustrated. What? Bust and trade?

[Kai]

That's a reach.

[Anya]

I said I was trying something like. That's why I was, like, silent, and I was like, oh, it's just not gonna happen.

[Drew]

I just am laughing at. That's where your brain went Bust and trade, dude. Well, frustrated, busted, bused and traded. As I blazed before the episode today.

[Anya]

I wish. Oh, my God. There was, like, at one point this summer, you were, like, open to smoking. Like, you were.

[Drew]

I mean, Barbie had her birthday party, and I went, and she got the. You know, the bouquet of flowers that Rosalia got. Charlie, question mark.

[Anya]

With cigarettes.

[Drew]

With cigarettes in it. She got the same flower arrangement, different flowers, but with a bunch of joints.

[Anya]

Wait, how did they make the flowers live that long? Was it the same flower arrangement?

[Drew]

No, different flowers. Yeah, they, like, replaced it, but it had 80 joints in it. And I didn't tell Barbie this, but I did take a joint.

[Anya]

You stole from Barbie at her birthday party?

[Drew]

I stole from Barbie at her birthday party. And I also took a macro dose of hallucinogenic mushrooms and didn't feel anything.

[Anya]

I'm gonna, like. If your foot is in that frame, Kai.

[Kai]

I'm just trying to relax because I have a table now, so.

[Drew]

Kai, where's our goddamn surprise? You've been talking about a surprise for five fucking months. I know. Is it Bro?

[Kai]

Dude. Well, you. You know what it is.

[Anya]

Wait, was the painting. Not it.

[Drew]

The painting? Was it. But I was, like, trying to, like, set it up where Kai could bring it in, and we were gonna be.

[Anya]

Like, oh, my God.

[Kai]

All right, pretend like I know what's crazy.

[Anya]

Actually, we need to. We really need to. You're about to be put on the spot crazy. And it's just because I'm bored and I have nothing else to talk about. So, like, I'm really sorry. It's crazy how men will talk about having a surprise for how Long was it.

[Drew]

He was like, it was over six weeks.

[Anya]

It was like, I have a surprise. I have a surprise for you. I got something crazy for you guys. Like, this whole, like, illusion. And I'm thinking, like, okay.

[Drew]

I'm like, oh, God. He spent his money on it.

[Anya]

Yeah. I'm like. I'm like, wow. Like, I'm a gift giver by nature. Like, that's my love language. I'm like, oh, my God. He actually went out of his. Like, he saw something and it reminded.

[Drew]

Him of exactly what I was thinking.

[Anya]

Oh, that's so cute. Talking about the surprise. Come to find out, the surprise is artwork by. And we're going to put your name up because I don't know your name off the top of my head, but I love it. It's so amazing.

[Drew]

It's literally hanging up in our house.

[Anya]

Yeah, it's the first thing you see when you walk. Amazing. It's an oil painting of Drew knocked out on the floor that the girl gave to Kai to give to us. To give to us.

[Drew]

And Kai sat here and acted like it was his surprise.

[Anya]

Mind you, same man who, like, what was it? 20 minutes ago, in my room, he eating my fucking candy. Drew asked for some and he goes, I don't know.

[Drew]

He said. He said, I don't. I want this one. And I was like, actually, no, I want that one.

[Anya]

Yeah, bitch. It's not your fucking candy. The fog, like, wow. Wow. It's just like.

[Drew]

Also, mind you, Kai shouldn't even be eating, period.

[Anya]

I know. Because it was out of his bounds. It was out of his, like, it was. It was out of his time set.

[Drew]

We had calorically.

[Anya]

We have a time frame.

[Drew]

It's a lot for you right now.

[Kai]

Yeah, I feel like I'm at my.

[Anya]

Well, now you don't get dinner. I hope it was worth it.

[Drew]

I hope those three gummies were worth it.

[Kai]

I think I had like, eight. Like, my stomach is filled with.

[Anya]

Okay, I'm not kidding.

[Kai]

Twin snakes.

[Drew]

Wait. Gummy sour steaks.

[Anya]

What was that? Did you just have a stroke? And now you're in, like, dead silence because you're so ashamed. Don't be ashamed of your health. Strokes are normal, especially for people our age now.

[Drew]

I know.

[Anya]

Let's get used to it.

[Drew]

I know. Let's wake up. Strokes at 27, everywhere. Oh, my God.

[Anya]

We literally have to start learning, like, signs of a stroke because we're with the way shit's going. Like, young people have strokes now.

[Kai]

So, babes, before we get off the topic of the Painting. I want the artist to know that Drew was so happy. You were so happy when I.

[Drew]

When I busted, I almost cried.

[Anya]

Well, he showed it to Drew and then I wasn't a part of the surprise that I was led onto for six weeks. I just ended up seeing the. Well, the reason.

[Drew]

The reason why was because.

[Anya]

And I was really excited.

[Drew]

Kai finally brought it during the Owen episode or like right before we started recording. And he just had it in his hands when I opened the front door and showed it. And I was like, no, you have to surprise Anya with that.

[Anya]

No, it is.

[Kai]

I fucked up with the execution. But it's in the house. And Drew hung it up.

[Drew]

Do you want one of your Christmas gifts?

[Kai]

Right now? Yeah, no, not. Not right now.

[Drew]

Why?

[Kai]

Also I got you guys things this year. I got you guys.

[Drew]

Really thought we got you two goaded gifts.

[Kai]

MacBook Pro, iPad Pro.

[Anya]

Why the would you think you're getting two devices?

[Kai]

Because the look on my face would make it worth it.

[Anya]

No, it's not 2008. No one gives a about that.

[Kai]

You don't want to see me.

[Drew]

I'm not giving you your gift anymore.

[Anya]

I. I was saying you're like talking about. This is why everyone in my life, especially the men are fucking useless. Because they get rewarded for mid ass behavior. The fuck. Now we're giving Kai two gifts. Two gifts? We already gave you the gift of a job.

[Drew]

You were in on it.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

We.

[Anya]

We. Wow. We gave you friendship. We gave you love. Where is my gift?

[Kai]

You have two gifts. They're your eyes.

[Drew]

Oh, and she opens them every morning.

[Anya]

I thought you were gonna say you and Drew. I was hoping that's what you're gonna say. But two eyes got me. Yeah, no, it's okay. I'll be waiting on my gift. I actually have sucked at gift giving this year. Like I don't really think all that talk for me and I'm like, well, but some people I've given, I've gotten my gifts for and they're good. Other people, it's like it's up in the air. Who knows what's gonna happen this year.

[Drew]

I just threw money at was not thoughtful. Most of my gifts were not thoughtful.

[Anya]

Oh yeah. Well, everyone in my family is like at the age now where I was lucky that I had really young siblings. So the magic of Christ. This was around a bit longer. But now it's kind of deaded because now it's like, okay, my little siblings are two chungus ass teenagers like my Chudi.

[Drew]

No, fuck my chud life. I'M such a chud.

[Anya]

Wait, what's a ch. What is a chud?

[Kai]

Chud is like the opposite of a chad. A chud is like a guy.

[Drew]

Like a Reddit mod.

[Kai]

Yeah, he gets really excited about funko pops and stuff.

[Drew]

I'm literally so chad coated.

[Kai]

No, you're not, because you. You mog me, so.

[Drew]

Oh, my God.

[Kai]

You're constantly mogging me.

[Drew]

Mug me. Wait, there was, like, a song that just popped in my head from my looks maxing era.

[Anya]

Eating disorders have always been corny, but it's, like, gotten 10 times cornier now that, like, men are a part of it. I think I'm gonna get one of those drones that follows you for vlogs.

[Drew]

Speaking of, I was just texting Kai this morning. They made fiber optic drones.

[Anya]

What does that mean?

[Kai]

I actually. I don't think you sent that to me.

[Drew]

I did. You didn't watch it. Sorry, I have to take my zinc pill.

[Kai]

I was working.

[Drew]

Guys. Don't let me forget to take my zinc.

[Anya]

You're mad annoying. I don't think, like one. I don't think you're gonna get sick. I don't think your friend is sick. I think men just, like, literally suddenly become self conscious for, like, 20 minutes in a day, and then they, like, ground themselves and they reconnect to their body and they're like, whoa, I feel my throat. Something's wrong with that.

[Drew]

I'm sick because I'm mega dosing zinc and I'm gonna make Kundalini. I'm gonna make giant boba pills.

[Anya]

That is so disgusting.

[Drew]

I'm gonna make. What is it? Fettuccine.

[Kai]

Oh, buffalo mozzarella.

[Drew]

Yeah, I'm gonna make buffalo, like, big loads of buffalo mozzarella. Or burrata. The innards of burratos. Yeah.

[Kai]

Cutting the mozzarella or it comes out, there's a film around it, and then.

[Drew]

You cut it and it's a big. That's what it's gonna look like. Yeah, but no, I'm megadosing. I'm in the golden era, right? Or wait, not me being in my zinc era. I'm in my joy era. I'm in my giggle boots era. Like, okay, I'm in my prosperity era. I'm in my gratitude era. Like, grateful for all the people and things that I have around me.

[Anya]

Real.

[Drew]

I'm in my suicidal ideation era. But all on top of all of that.

[Anya]

Okay, does that, like, rank higher than the other things?

[Drew]

It's at the very bottom. But it's always.

[Anya]

Yeah. If it was A pie chart. Like, how many pieces a piece.

[Drew]

It will always be there.

[Anya]

Yeah.

[Drew]

It will never come up.

[Anya]

I know. It kind of sucks. It sucks. No, like, literally the foundation of my thinking is suicidal ideation. I was talking. Oh, my God. I keep saying I was talking to my therapist, but I.

[Drew]

That's all you did this week.

[Anya]

I know. That's literally. That's kind of like one of the only people I spoke to verbally other than, like, Drew this week, I guess. No, I hung out with Rain.

[Kai]

Is it dead?

[Drew]

It's dead.

[Kai]

Damn. I'm sorry, dude.

[Drew]

My vibrator's dead.

[Anya]

Why is your vibrator just, like, in your pocket?

[Drew]

Also, why is your vibrator under my pillow that I sleep on?

[Anya]

Was it? Actually, no, it wasn't. I put it in the drawer. Before you got to bed?

[Drew]

No, the other day when I made your bed, I just, like, in his bed was unmade and I was like, you know, I'm just going to be sweet. I'm going to do a nice thing. I started, like, making her bed and tidying up and I was like, oh, I'm going to put the pillows up. That it at it. And I lifted it up and I've never, like, lift. Like, I went like. No, no, no, no. I like, pick it up and sat.

[Anya]

Down, like, lifted a pillow so fast, whatever is under it fly.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Anya]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Well, that's your good sis.

[Anya]

I know me. Hey, that's my. What's it called?

[Drew]

Treacherous Twin. You know they are.

[Anya]

Oh, no, no, no. Oh, it's twin M A. That's like og Treacherous Twin is Twin O. Are they still out like, and about?

[Drew]

I have no idea.

[Anya]

Getting a last minute gift can be really difficult, especially if it's one that you want to hold meaning. But Aura frames has got you covered. Everyone I know and love is getting an aura frame because there is nothing better to me than a gift that is useful and keeps people in contact. I just love the idea of my mom and no longer filling my text thread with old photos of myself that I look at once and then never see again. But instead they can upload all these very embarrassing photos of me in my very awkward time in my life that I hate to reflect on onto a frame that everyone in my house can see. So instead of it being this odd thing I forget we can all talk about it.

[Drew]

You can't wrap togetherness, but you can.

[Anya]

Frame it for a limited time. Save on the perfect gift by visiting auraframes.com to get $35 off Aura's best selling Carver mat frames named number one by Wirecutter by using promo code intercom at checkout. That's R A frames.com, promo code intercom. This deal is exclusive to listeners and frames sell out fast, so order yours now to get it in time for the holidays. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply.

[Dakota Payne (TikTok Live Ad)]

This is Dakota Payne from OK Storytime. Have you been scrolling through TikTok Live lately? Because you gotta buckle up. The biggest creator celebration of the year is kicking off right now. It's called Live Fest 2025 and it's officially here, uniting creators from every corner of the world. We're talking singers hitting high notes, dancers doing sick moves, and gamers going head to head. All on their way to trophies, stacked rewards and a red carpet moment waiting for them at the annual awards ceremony. You might even find your new go to recipe from a home cook or new Internet bestie who's always there for you. Anything can happen here. That's the magic of TikTok Live. From December 10th to the 22nd, Live Fest goes full throttle with creators of every kind stepping into the the spotlight with performances, challenges, battles and big community moments. So dive in and show your support and help lift up the creators who inspire you. So whether you're a fan or a creator, search livefest2025 on TikTok to catch everything happening during Live Fest. Let's celebrate. Live together.

[Anya]

Okay, only 10 more presents to wrap. You're almost at the finish line. But first, There the last one. Enjoy a Coca Cola for a pause that refreshes.

[PNC Wealth Management Ad Voice]

At PNC Wealth Management, our brilliantly boring investment philosophy is designed to help create confident investors. These investors may go on vacation vacations where they wear floral shirts unbuttoned generously, or pose for pictures that look like they're holding up ancient architecture using only their finger. Though we are not responsible for any of this, we are proud to provide comprehensive financial planning services designed to help clients achieve their goals. So we're sorry and you're welcome. PNC Wealth Management Finn Recipic results vary by customer and are not guaranteed.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

Chapter 18 Prince Lorian's voice gently wakes you from your dreams of him.

[Drew]

I can't face one more sunset without you by my side. Come with me and I vow your desires will be my North Star forevermore.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

You're ready. You have Nexplanon etnogestrel implant. 68mg radio pack to prevent pregnancy. Nexplanon is a non daily prescription birth control for women that goes in your arm and may take a few minutes to insert by your doctor. Don't use Nexplanon if you're pregnant or may be pregnant, have or had blood clots or certain cancers, have liver disease, liver tumor, or unexplained vaginal bleeding. Once the implant is placed, you and your doctor should feel for it. If at any time you can't feel the implant, contact your doctor right away and use a non hormonal birth control method such as condoms. Removal of the implant may be difficult or impossible if it isn't where it should be while in common ectopic pregnancy. Pregnancy that occurs outside the womb can occur, which can cause serious internal bleeding, infertility and even death. You are likely to experience changes to your period. Ovarian cysts may occur and usually disappear. Nexplanon may raise the chance of serious blood clots, which can cause heart attack, stroke or death, especially if you smoke or have other risk factors. Nexsplanon doesn't protect against HIV or STDs. With less than one pregnancy per 100 women who use NexsPlanon for one year, NexPlanon is over 99% effective. No matter the fantasy, talk to your doctor. Call 1-877-467-5266 or visit nexplanon.com for more information. Ask your doctor about Nexplanon.

[Anya]

I feel like they should have like.

[Drew]

I don't know, twin him.

[Anya]

I wish. I wish Twitch was around for like that era of influencers. Like I think often about it was.

[Drew]

Like you now and everyone thought we were losers for live streaming back then. Do you remember that?

[Anya]

Yeah, I do. Bored A I can't believe my dad. Like actually I don't think my dad knew I was doing you now. Every time I did it it was when he I would do it late at night because it was when him and my mom would go out like on a date or something.

[Drew]

Remember when we would go on younow and just like violently troll normies? I felt so bad. We would put like wigs and like disguises on and like just not to an audience at all. It would be like 13 people.

[Kai]

Literally.

[Anya]

Like we would send the link of a random live to one of our friends and be like, do you want to watch? I'm going to guess with this person right now. And then we would just guess with somebody and like troll them for like 30 minutes.

[Drew]

We were bored as oh wait, Josh released a new video.

[Anya]

By the way, I know that video makes Me so happy. Like, it's so funny.

[Drew]

I've seen it about 5,000 times because it was recorded in February. Actually, March. March. Because it's my birthday.

[Anya]

Dude, it's so old, it's actually kind of spooky. It's kind of nice, though, because looking at that almost gives density to my ear, if that makes sense.

[Drew]

Filler. It's like, oh, I did things.

[Anya]

Yeah, I was alive. I was alive in March. Oh, my God. That's good to know. Like, that's how I have felt all year. This year has been my year of rest and relaxation, minus sleeping medication, but replacing it with weed.

[Drew]

I have. This is my year of rest and relaxation, and I have been taking sleeping medication.

[Anya]

I know you've been. I knew it was going to happen. Drew's been on his. He's up to no good.

[Drew]

I'm taking. I'm up to 6 milligrams a night already.

[Anya]

That's no bueno, bro.

[Drew]

What's crazy. What's crazy is when I don't take it. I can't sleep through the night. I wake up at, like, 2am every single night. It's really up.

[Anya]

Yeah, that's up.

[Drew]

And it takes me, like, an hour and a half to get back to sleep.

[Kai]

Last night.

[Drew]

No, I took it last night. Remember when I kept going back to my bathroom? I was, like, really contemplating. I was contemplating, and I'd go down there, and I would be like, no, I don't need it tonight. And then I'd, like, go back up to your room, and then I go down there, and I'd be like, no, I don't need it tonight. And then I go down there, and then eventually, it just got me. It bit me in the ass.

[Anya]

Oh, my gosh. That's so you jumped up from two to six in, like, two weeks. So hopefully by your birthday, you'll be at, like, 80.

[Drew]

A 12 milligram pill.

[Anya]

Dude, I cannot believe there was a time where I was taking, like, 40 and then 80.

[Drew]

You literally only need 0.25.

[Anya]

I am so lucky that didn't destroy my sleep.

[Drew]

Why am I taking so much? It's like, I'm not. I think I'm literally. I think I've tricked my brain into thinking I'm, like, getting high off of it or something.

[Anya]

But, like, I think, yeah, in that delirious time before you fall asleep, you get. You don't. You don't get high. Or, like, I mean, last night, I.

[Drew]

Wouldn'T shut the up after I took it, I came to your room and you were dead tired and I was talking your ear off.

[Anya]

It was good though, because I had more time to eat sour spaghetti because you were talking. Also it did keep me up so I could have snack.

[Drew]

Also took a everything shower. And in your shower, that was special.

[Anya]

I literally the biggest compliment ever was how much you like it. I'm not even kidding.

[Drew]

I use every one of her products except for the sacred beauty hair stuff because I thought it was expensive.

[Anya]

It is pretty expensive. Sounds like I really want their hair growth stuff because I'm balding, so I.

[Drew]

Really just get on fin and dirt, bro.

[Anya]

Fentanyl. Yeah, fentanyl and what dust.

[Drew]

Do it do test ride.

[Anya]

Do test dried. It's actually disgusting. How many names of like random things like that?

[Drew]

Minoxidil, Finasteride, detastride. Rather true Tide, Glop.

[Anya]

Glop. Wait, oh, no, that's. That's Ozempic. No, Drew's on Ozempic now, so now we can both. Okay. At least now we can both get I love. Oh, now we can both just admit we're both on Ozempic and we are loving it. This episode is actually sponsored answered by one of those off brand weird ones. One of the off brand weird ones that you see and just like, you don't think you should take. But you're gonna get the go ahead for me and Drew, right?

[Drew]

Take it in surplus, dude. It feels great. I'm nauseous all the time.

[Anya]

I OD on it all the.

[Drew]

I literally. I just can't stop throwing up.

[Anya]

I just can't stop sapping myself. That's the craziest part.

[Drew]

Oh, my God.

[Anya]

Big to me is I'm like, y' all have the audacity to look at me sideways because yeah, it. I'll wake up at 6am and by 8am I want to smoke a joint. I've already been up for two hours. Oh, but I'm crazy. Meanwhile, you wake up, you go and make your coffee, and then you stab yourself in the thigh so that you're not hungry. Like, the whole thing to me is crazy because of so many reasons. I already said eating disorders are corny. They are. But yeah, just like the idea of stabbing yourself. First of all, if you're that desperate and you don't need that, kill yourself.

[Drew]

2.

[Anya]

If that doesn't work, don't take that. Starve yourself. Oh, that doesn't work. Seems like you're actually not in it. For the love of the game, tap out and just live life, you loser.

[Drew]

Love. Eat whatever you want. Am I the only guy here that thinks you should eat whatever you want?

[Anya]

Am I the only person here who thinks, like, it's actually not that serious and a lot of y' all need a hobby? Like, what? But, yeah, that's why I chew my fingernails. Guys, just chew your fingernails.

[Drew]

Yeah, and it'll like. It's been on my mind. Yeah. Our heat. I put up the Christmas tree, and then you put up the Christmas tree.

[Anya]

Oh, yeah. Well, we can't enjoy it because the living room is 50 degrees.

[Drew]

Fucking terrible.

[Anya]

But, like, last night, me and Drew, like, we keep walking into the living room being like, it's so cute. And then we're, like, sitting there. We're like, we should watch a movie or something. And then both of us just going to a war.

[Drew]

I literally. I literally, like, was sitting in there for five seconds, and I went up to India's, like, dungeon, her warm dungeon. And I was like, india, we should, like, hang out in the living room. Like, go read in the living room and I'll journal next to you. I'm not kidding. We both were in there for two minutes before silently. No one said a word. We both just left and went to our own space.

[Anya]

It's so cold that the couch is cold. Like, the filling of the couch is cold. So then when you sit on it to try to get comfy, you have to wait, like, 20 minutes for your body to, like, maybe warm it up, but it's so cold.

[Drew]

Also, Josh took the fucking blankets out of the living room into his room. I know my Spotify wrapped blanket from 2023. That's my Spotify blanket.

[Anya]

That's my discussion. Why do we have that for Spotify rap blanket? Because we're not real adults and we, like, refuse to buy a different blanket every time.

[Drew]

I'm on every blanket for the living.

[Anya]

Room is a blanket from some random.

[Drew]

PR Orion's, like, Alexander McQueen blanket from 2022 that they gifted her. No. Every time I'm on Pinterest, I see this blanket that I want to get, and I don't get it.

[Anya]

Oh, I love that.

[Drew]

Fun fact. Also, actually, I did have a really cute blanket that would be so pretty in our living room right now, but wine got spilt all over it.

[Anya]

At Sabrina to a picnic.

[Drew]

That's exactly what you're supposed to do.

[Anya]

What was he wearing? Who?

[Drew]

What? Where?

[Anya]

Hashtag. Why would you bring that outside if you don't want it to get all up?

[Drew]

Yeah, that's my ball.

[Anya]

Yeah, that is your fault.

[Drew]

That's my ball.

[Anya]

Where Is it?

[Drew]

It's in the back of my car. I just keep it in there to cover, like, my valuables if I park in a scary place.

[Anya]

I don't know if I would say anything you have on the daily is a valuable like that. Unless it's like a shopping bag. No offense.

[Drew]

You don't gotta hide my yeti bag. My sunglasses. Actually, no, I keep my literally priceless Apex twin artifact in my car.

[Anya]

I think you might find that the people who are breaking the back of windshields don't give a who the Aphex twins are. They don't know who those girls are. They're like Apex twins.

[Drew]

Okay, like, tell them to shut up, guys. I got it for retail.

[Anya]

Wait, is it your umbrella?

[Drew]

I think the Metag glasses are the mark of the beast, by the way. I think they're truly, truly cursed objects. And I think that, like, if you wear those in public and just, like, record. I don't. I haven't finished this thoughtfully yet, so. And you take it away. Exactly what she said.

[Anya]

I actually, I. Unironically. And before I say this, surveillance. I can't remember if I've ever had videos like this, but I have always been of the nature that I don't put people in videos if I don't know them. And they. I haven't gotten, like, some sort of, like, agreement from them. And the one video I had a stranger in ever, I think, was my Tanacon video. And that person, I think, wanted it taken down. And I like, edited her out and stuff. Like, I.

[Drew]

No, I think it's just like, adding to surveillance culture. Peter Teal Palantir, bro, you know what I was thinking?

[Anya]

Like, if I was running away from somebody, like, say I robbed a Claire's and I'm running through the parking lot, they're on my tail, like, I gotta get out of here. Ho. Half the cars in the parking lot have cameras on them. Like, in about 10 years, somebody's a cop, can just probably connect to all the cars and be like, scanning for body heat. And like, I can't even hide between cars in a parking lot soon. Like, what can I do, bro? I can't hypothetically steal from glares and hide behind cars soon because some. Some snitch ass actually is gonna have a screen recording of it and then be like, oh, my God. Actually random as. But this girl was hiding by my car. Is this the girl who stole from Claire's earlier today?

[Drew]

You know, I mean, I fully, wholeheartedly agree with this. And I'm not Joking. But if you see someone stealing food, turn a, don't look. Let them fucking get away with that goddamn food because they're obviously hungry. I feel that way about stealing from Claire's, too. They obviously need it.

[Anya]

I mean, we all know how I feel about stealing.

[Drew]

Listen, they obviously steal from Sephora, steal from Claire, steal from Target, steal from Walmart.

[Anya]

Like, don't steal from someone you respect and love and share something with. That's up. But listen, everything else, like, oh, my God, guys, I'm seriously so excited for the fact that they can look through your phone now. What is it, like, the meme thing? Did you see that?

[Drew]

No.

[Anya]

That, like, they're trying to pass a bill that, like, they can look through your phone to see if you have, like, any, like, incriminating or, like, anti, like us rhetoric on your socials.

[Kai]

And, like, they can't do that already.

[Anya]

I think it's like, TSA agents can, like, grab your phone and look through your phone.

[PNC Wealth Management Ad Voice]

Oh, really?

[Anya]

Like, I think that's what they're trying to, like, imply, but I don't know that. I just saw, like, a random thing about it and then I kept scrolling because I was like, hell, no. Oh, my God. I remember I almost got into a fight with the TSA agent because they wanted to see my phone. It's dead.

[Drew]

Oh, what are we gonna do?

[Anya]

You're just not gonna have a vape for a second. Yeah.

[Drew]

Sick.

[Anya]

Why are you looking at me? When did you find out that you might be sick?

[Drew]

This morning. Okay.

[Anya]

Because when you said that to me, I was like, if I find out that he got word of a sickness last night and then slept next to me, I was gonna hit you, my good sis.

[Drew]

I would never do that to you.

[Anya]

I love you so much.

[Drew]

You're special to me.

[Anya]

Thank you. You're special to me in ways you don't understand.

[Drew]

I mean, y' all are. If I'm sick, y' all are sick.

[Anya]

Don't get sick like that. Don't put that on me.

[Drew]

I know this is dangerous.

[Anya]

Why do you have cuts on your hand?

[Drew]

Because I hit Kai me with the.

[Kai]

Back of his hand. I, I, I was talking a lot, and I usually don't talk that much.

[Drew]

No, I was moving out the chairs in here to move your blue chair in and the sound panel on that wall. My hand got stuck between the wood and the sound panel squishy part and squished my fingers, all three knuckles. And so I've been, I've been really.

[Anya]

Bullish, though, for band Aids or Are you just.

[Drew]

No, no, no.

[Anya]

Because, like, I'm being dramatic.

[Drew]

I'm being dramatic, but I really do. With a Band Aid, like, when I cut the back of my heels, like, I was like, I put Band Aids on it and it was healed. Aesthetically, it was, yeah, literally, technically, aesthetically. But no, I'm, like, bullish. I think they're, like, kind of cunt. And I think we need to, like, really readopt Band Aid culture, because I think it's a lost and dying art. When was the last time you saw a band aid on someone? When we were like, seven to zero. Because then you get thrown and you're.

[Anya]

Like, actually, I guess I can just keep this small wound cleaned and, like, air it out. I'm. I'm. Unless it is told to you that you need a band Aid and it's dead serious, and it's like a nasty. Don't be walking around with a big ass open wound. But I'm kind of like anti Band Aids. To me, Band Aids are gross. Because most of y' all can't even wipe your ass properly after you shit. You're not taking care of the area that's Band Aid.

[Kai]

You're letting it get really well.

[Drew]

But I was going to say, speaking of wiping your ass after you, like, when y' all go to catch the poop before it hits the water, does it ever get on your hand?

[Anya]

How would it not get on my hand if I'm catching my poop?

[Drew]

Well, no, you put, like, a layer of toilet paper there and you, like, go under. Because if you let it hit the water, it splashes up.

[Kai]

Drew, do you think that you have to shit into your hand and then put it into the toilet?

[Drew]

Yeah. That's literally what everyone does.

[Kai]

That doesn't make any sense, though.

[Drew]

I thought you said it was dead.

[Anya]

Yeah, I think it is dead.

[Drew]

Let me hit.

[Anya]

It is.

[Drew]

Let me try. Blur Me. Naming my favorite band Blur Me when.

[Anya]

I'm Zooey Deschanel and I'm sitting across from that one guy from that one movie, and he asked me my favorite band.

[Kai]

Blur.

[Anya]

Beatles or what's her. I haven't really seen that movie. 500 Days of Summer is one of those movies that I watched because it was, like, popular online, but I didn't have any general interest in anything. Especially because at the time, the Beatles, like, would. Or were they, like, obsessed with the Beatles or something?

[Kai]

Smiths.

[Anya]

The Smiths, Yeah. Same difference. I, like, I know, make great music, but the idea of ever putting myself in a situation where I'm like, oh, my God. What would make my day better? Morrissey whining and being a little in my ear. No, I don't want that.

[Kai]

That makes sense. I feel like.

[Anya]

Cut to next year. This myths are like my favorite.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Anya]

Every.

[Drew]

Every time.

[Anya]

That's just how it works.

[Drew]

Every time.

[Anya]

Yeah. Because then people are like, oh, like you don't know. And I'm like, bitch, how about this? I'm gonna go and taste the pie to see if I like the pie. Actually, I like the pie. Like it.

[Drew]

And that's okay. That's growth.

[Anya]

Let's all cream the pie. It.

[Drew]

Wait, is. Is Morrissey a bad person?

[Anya]

Yes.

[Drew]

Okay. Kai, what were you saying?

[Kai]

Oh, I had a topic. I feel like you used to cry more. I just noticed that you used to cry more. And I do feel like.

[Anya]

No, he recently is crying more. It's not that he used to cry more.

[Kai]

That's what I'm saying. Like, you used. Sorry. You used to not cry that much. But now that you. Because you are crying recently and now I feel like you cry more than you were before.

[Drew]

I was like, okay, so like go back like two or three years. I wasn't crying that much. Go back like three months. I started crying a little bit more. And now, especially in the last week, I've been crying so, so much more. It's like crazy. But like, if you think about it, like really, it just makes sense to cry more. Yeah. And really, like, look back, like even like five years ago, I wasn't even crying.

[Anya]

No. I'd never seen you shed a tear at that point.

[Drew]

But then like, as of late, I don't know what it is. I'm just like the emotional, like once you. I guess, like when it rains, it pours like, and poor when it rains in your pores. Neticube advertisement.

[Anya]

It's like the Black Mirror episode when she started. Fucking Rashida Jones is saying ads in the middle of talking.

[Drew]

Oh, yeah.

[Anya]

Have you seen that?

[Drew]

Yeah. Buy Etsy products.

[Anya]

Like, Black Mirror is one of those things that to me, it's like Rick and Morty. Where like Rick and Morty, if you really think about it. Yes. In terms of animations for adults especially, you have to give it credit where it's due. Like, it really changed the game. It like reopened the doors for like modern day animations. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Then the smoke shops found it. And now it's Pickle Rick.

[Drew]

And now it's Pickle Rick.

[Anya]

What were you just talking about?

[Drew]

Because I was Black Mirror.

[Anya]

Oh, Black Mirror. To me is the same thing. It was like, wow. Like, this new era of sci fi. It's based in, like, real times, and it's based on, like, the problems we might actually face, which a lot of sci fi was. It was like this commentary, blah, blah, blah. Now it's Black Mirror, and it's like, yes. Like, I, like, know that if I'm in a bar in the middle of nowhere and I'm talking to somebody and they mentioned Black Mirror, I'm like, I. At least I know I'm safe here. It's kind of like to be like Pickle Rick. Like, if I go into a smoke shop and I see a Pickle Rick ashtray, I know I'm gonna have a hoot and a holler with the clerk. If I go in there and there's an official Rick in sight, they're not gonna believe that I'm not undercover, and they're not going to give me the mint puff bar I want because it's illegal. And that's how I feel about. I don't know why I thought about. Oh, yeah, because of the, like, so many of the things in Black Mirror just make me think of, like, the way I feel about Rick and Morty. Because I'm like, yeah, I get it. But, like, what the are you talking about? Like, Black Mirror has so many episodes where it's great, but, like, really, it's so funny. Like, the idea of somebody being like, yeah. When you know how, like, we have boyfriends who get on the games and they're talking to their boyfriends, and it feels like they basically have a relationship. But what if they actually are? And that's the scary part. I'm like, okay, first of all, not that far off from reality. Second of all, like, I can't believe. I don't know. It's just so funny that sci fi is and always will be just like comedy to me. Because that is so funny. Like, damn. Like, it's because to me, sci fi is also. I'm carrying this whole conversation, and I'm.

[Drew]

Gonna stop talking because I'm. No, I'm listening.

[Anya]

I'm like. I just.

[Drew]

I'm listening and learning.

[Kai]

Not us platforming you and then getting scolded for doing so. It's like, wait, what were you talking? Were you saying something?

[Drew]

I was saying sci Fi is, like, funny.

[Kai]

I. That's really funny now that I think about it, because why? Oh, Cause the guys had sex in the video game. But also, you were crying before.

[Drew]

Also, Pluribus. I found out that the Lead is a lesbian. So I turned it off.

[Anya]

Wait, is it about lesbians, or is.

[Drew]

She, like, in real life, She's a lesbian lead. Which I was like, cool.

[Kai]

She's a lesbian.

[Anya]

Okay. Queen Latifah exists and existed. And actually, she was the first. She's.

[Drew]

She's Hillary Clinton, OG Lead lesbian.

[Anya]

Oh, my God. She was literally.

[Drew]

She was queen.

[Anya]

She is a lesbian.

[Drew]

Yeah, she's. She's a queen.

[Anya]

Bill Clinton was sent here to send her, or was sent to her to send her down the right path and when he was up to no good in the Oval Office.

[Drew]

I will literally never forget. In 2020. Or was it 20? It was 2024 when me and Kai went to vote and we wrote Hillary Clinton's name in, and then we came back here and cried on the couch together because we just knew it wasn't gonna happen.

[Kai]

Her second time doing that, by the way.

[Drew]

Third.

[Kai]

Oh, wait, was it our third?

[Drew]

Actually, it might even be.

[Kai]

It might be.

[Drew]

She ran 2016.

[Kai]

2016.

[Drew]

Yeah. 2016. 20. 2020.

[Kai]

We wrote her name in in 2016, too. We wrote that.

[Anya]

But she was on the ballot.

[Drew]

Yes, I know. More powerful that way.

[Anya]

I don't know if it counted, though.

[Kai]

We were pretty.

[Anya]

Because I think it's their, like, machine scam, so it might, like, confuse it.

[Kai]

We were really drunk. Do you remember how drunk we got in 2016 when we went to vote?

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Anya]

That's how they're gonna have to start convincing younger people to vote. Because young people, like, historically don't go out and vote until you're, like, in your late 20s and you're like, oh, my God, like, seriously, I live in this world. But now, like, because of online, younger people do vote, but I think they should just. We're having. Okay, we're having an issue. Young people aren't going to bars. Okay, hear me out.

[Drew]

We put voting boots in the bar. Yes.

[Anya]

And it's a hookah lounge. You can smoke weed. The weed is hookah.

[Drew]

It's not a hookah lounge. It's a bar. Coke in the bathroom.

[Anya]

They sell coke in the bathroom?

[Drew]

Yes.

[Anya]

And there's glowing stall.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Anya]

You have to ask for Mary.

[Drew]

Yeah. If you want the coke in the bathroom, you have to ask for Mary.

[Dakota Payne (TikTok Live Ad)]

This is Dakota Payne from. Okay, story time. Have you been scrolling through TikTok Live lately? Because you gotta buckle up. The biggest creator celebration of the year is kicking off right now. It's called Live Fest 2025, and it's officially here, uniting creators from every corner of the world. We're talking singers hitting high notes, dancers doing sick moves and gamers going head to head. All on their way to trophies, stacked rewards and a red carpet moment waiting for them at the annual awards ceremony. You might even find your new go to recipe from a home cook or new Internet bestie who's always there for you. Anything can happen here. That's the magic of TikTok Live. From December 10th to the 22nd, Live Fest goes full throttle with creators of every kind stepping into the spotlight with performances, challenges, battles and big community moments. So dive in and show your support and help lift up the creators who inspire you. So whether you're a fan or a creator, search livefest2025 on TikTok to catch everything happening during Live Fest. Let's celebrate. Live together.

[Anya]

Okay, only 10 more presents to wrap. You're almost at the finish line. But but first. There the last one. Enjoy a Coca Cola for a pause that refreshes.

[PNC Wealth Management Ad Voice]

At PNC Wealth Management, our brilliantly boring investment philosophy is designed to help create confident investors. These investors may go on vacations where they wear floral shirts unbuttoned generously, or pose for pictures that look like they're holding up ancient architecture using only their finger. Though we are not responsible for any of this, we are proud to provide comprehensive financial planning services designed to help clients achieve their goals. So we're sorry and you're welcome. PNC Wealth Management member Finn Recipic results vary by customer and are not guaranteed.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

Chapter 18 Prince Lorian's voice gently wakes you from your dreams of him.

[Drew]

I can't face one more sunset without you by my side. Come with me and I vow your desires will be my North Star forevermore.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

You're ready. You have Nexsplanon etnogestrel implant 68mg Radiopeg to prevent pregnancy. Nexplanon is a non daily prescription birth control for women that goes in your arm and may take a few minutes to insert by your doctor. Don't use nexplanon if you're pregnant or may be pregnant, have or had blood clots or certain cancers, have liver disease, liver tumor or unexplained vaginal bleeding. Once the implant is placed, you and your doctor should feel for it. If at any time you can't feel the implant, contact your doctor right away and use a non hormonal birth control method such as condoms. Removal of the implant may be difficult or impossible if it isn't where it should be while in common. Ectopic pregnancy Pregnancy that occurs outside the womb can occur, which can cause serious internal bleeding, infertility, and even death. You are likely to experience changes to your period. Ovarian cysts may occur and usually disappear. Nexplanon may raise the chance of serious blood clots, which can cause heart attack, stroke or death, especially if you smoke or have other risk factors. Nexsplanon doesn't protect against HIV or STDs. With less than one pregnancy per 100 women who use Nexplanon for one year, Nexplanon is over 99% effective. No matter the fantasy, talk to your doctor, call 1-877-47 or visit nexplanon.com for more information. Ask your doctor about Nexplanon.

[Anya]

Hey, Oregon. There are exciting things happening at your local CVS. Get ready extra Care members. We've got some extra big news. Extra big deals are here. Shop deals so extra they can't be missed and come back for more every two weeks.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

Extra care is the way to save at cvs.

[Anya]

Join for free online or in store and start saving. Visit your local CVS store or cvs.com extra big deals for this week's deals. Drug dealers are probably so mad. I have OCD because I would fully be like experimenting with drugs at a rapid rate. Like, weed to me is already like, whoa, I'm so crazy. This is crazy. Like, I don't, I can't go above this. Also, I literally, when I was in Miami and I ran out of weed, I was, I was talking to my sister, my Sophia, like my older sister, and I was like, damn, I need to get like a medical card or something because I literally don't know how to interact and get weed other than that. And then she was like, put on your story that you need to buy weed. And I was like, I'm gonna put on my Instagram story that I should.

[Drew]

Have been so fun should do that.

[Anya]

And who has a plug? Like, who has a connect.

[Drew]

Just put the plug emoji question mark.

[Anya]

Plug emoji question mark. A GIF of 305. Yeah.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Anya]

Oh my gosh.

[Drew]

But I think bald on top, hair on sides is cute.

[Anya]

Yeah, I agree. We were having that discussion.

[Drew]

I think like people that are balder supposed to be bald and that's okay. I think they look better with bald.

[Anya]

No, literally, I am so against. But also that goes into the thing of like, I'm kind of against most cosmetic adjustments because your body is a temple. But I genuinely am like, dude, if a man is balding, there is a high yield chance. Like, hair isn't going to really change anything, if that makes sense. Like, I think there's this delusion. Of course, hair changes a lot. Like, hair does change your face.

[Drew]

I'd be like, wait, bald is beautiful.

[Kai]

Remember when Owen referred to Josiah as she?

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Anya]

Amazing, amazing, amazing.

[Kai]

That was surreal for me.

[Drew]

That was major.

[Anya]

I couldn't tell if he was joking. I don't think we do have the. I saw somebody being like, oh, my God, Owen can't be their friend if they don't know Josiah. Bitch. Let me tell you something. We don't bring Josiah around the people because Josiah is.

[Drew]

He's demonic. He's evil, genuinely bad.

[Anya]

You can't. I'm not kidding. You cannot bring Josiah around new people unless it is a situation where you can chaperone and make sure that, like, he doesn't completely lie about who he is, where he's from, what he does, how he knows you, how he knows anybody in the room.

[Drew]

He will just straight up say, like, he snuck into the party and people believe him.

[Anya]

Yeah, people will just like, believe him. Or he'll say, like, I don't know. He'll just lie and be like, oh, yeah, makeup artist. I've been Anya's makeup artist for, like, five years.

[Drew]

He was like. He was like, troll to Emma for, like, four years.

[Anya]

I know.

[Drew]

And she would be like, hey, is he like. Is he being mean to me or like.

[Kai]

Yes.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Anya]

Well, that's the issue. Is. But it's. It's not. I guess it is. Yeah. He is just a little like. Like, he reminds.

[Drew]

It's a defense mechanism. It's like, it truly is just like an insecurity. Love him.

[Anya]

I love him.

[Drew]

I would literally take a bullet. I would shoot myself for him. If they were like, you have to kill yourself to let Josiah live.

[Anya]

I would kill myself tenfold.

[Drew]

Yeah. I'm like, he's the one that's gonna take us up.

[Anya]

I'm like, you know what? Kill myself. Double it. Give the gun to Drew. He'll kill himself too. It. I mean, that's how it's gonna have to go.

[Drew]

I know, I know.

[Kai]

Wait, what? You introduced me to Josiah very early.

[Drew]

And he was probably mean to you.

[Anya]

Well, also okay, with that being said, we don't bring Josiah around people, but we do bring Josiah around people sometimes in another evil way when we want to see them interact. So that was definitely unironically. You met Josie early because we were like, wow.

[Drew]

Now, if you can handle Josiah, if you can handle Josiah, early, you can handle us at our best. Cut that. Wait, no, don't cut that. Yuck.

[Anya]

Yuck.

[Drew]

Kai, what were you saying, though? Was he mean to you, or was he.

[Kai]

No, he wasn't. No, he was never mean. It was just very scary.

[Anya]

Mm.

[Kai]

It's just like. It's like interacting with a dog that hasn't been socialized very well.

[Anya]

Yeah, but, you know, it's like a good dog.

[Kai]

Yeah, you know, it's good, but it's like.

[Anya]

That's the thing, is everyone who, like, everyone who meets Josiah loves him. And the only reason we hear feedback about it is because anyone we introduce him to is like, I really loved him. I don't like. And everybody can kind of tell he's lying, but we. Everyone just lets him go too, because it's like, well, I don't know him. Maybe he's not lying, but everyone usually comes back. I remember Jeff was like. He told me he, like, lived in a van for five years and was a manager at a popcorn factory. And then I was like, okay, well, he was a manager at a popcorn factory, but he's never lived in his car for five years. Like, so he, like, breadcrumbs.

[Drew]

The truth.

[Anya]

Yeah. He likes sprinkles in, like, parts of his life.

[Drew]

That Josiah working in a popcorn factory from 13 to 18 is crazy.

[Anya]

Popcorn. Popcorn.

[Drew]

Planet Popcorn.

[Anya]

Oh, my God, I love Josiah.

[Drew]

I worked at a gas station.

[Narrator/Ad Voice (Nexplanon/Adobe)]

Oh, we know.

[Drew]

Served meth heads. Cleaned toilets, poopy toilets. I haven't washed my hands since.

[Kai]

You know those videos of the guys that's. That clean the porta potties at Coachella and stuff? Oh, yeah, that looks like a cool job. Honestly, it looks satisfying.

[Drew]

They like. But also, I saw one where I can't even, like. I saw one where this guy, like, was cleaning a porta potty, and he, like, sprayed all the walls and did all this shit, but used the same rag that he cleaned the urinal and the seat with to wash the handle, and he, like, rubbed the handle down on both sides with the urinal napkin. It wasn't. It was the same. Same one. It was. The clip was not cut. You could watch him clean every surface with the same napkin before.

[Anya]

And, I mean, there really is no realistic way to do this because humans can't even keep, like, a porta potty decently clean. So there's no world where it would make sense, but I quite literally think we need to go back to shitting in the ground. Like, I think if there's a public.

[Drew]

Event, I mean, it was Good for the Earth.

[Anya]

No, literally, if there's a event, allocate a acre of the Coachella. Allocate an acre. You might think that's a lot, but for the amount of land out there.

[Drew]

That'S not a lot at all.

[Anya]

Not a lot at all.

[Drew]

They need 10 acres.

[Anya]

Dig up tunnels and holes and let people into a tunnel in the ground. It'll probably absorb the smell better. It's not because. Okay, now I'm in human fumes in a microplastic chamber heated up by the sun. It's literally like getting in a. Like.

[Drew]

And what about the bleach?

[Anya]

Every carcinogen you can think of.

[Drew]

There's bleach in there too.

[Anya]

Yeah. Is like, I guess bleach is bad for you, but also, like, if. If that's the case, then wouldn't people argue to not put bleach in your clothing? Because when you sweat, the bleach would, like, get into your pores.

[Drew]

Also, guys, fun little science experiment. Go home. If you're at home right now, go grab your. Your can of bleach or your jug of bleach and mix it with vinegar. Just do it.

[Anya]

What does it do?

[Kai]

That creates, like, a bomb, right?

[Drew]

Yeah, it makes, like, gas that, like, you have to air your hot out house out with, or it'll literally, like, make your lungs burn. I think it makes mustard gas.

[Anya]

Mustard gas. Oh, my God. I haven't prank called someplace in so long. I'll never forget when I prank called Supreme. It was supreme or ripping diploma we've talked about before. Yeah. I would just, like, prank call places that I knew mainly, like, men in their 20s would work at and say that I was locked in the bathroom and I think I made mustard gas. And a lot of them, honestly would go and check.

[Drew]

They would. Which is beautiful.

[Anya]

I love that.

[Drew]

And you. Can you tell them the time about when you saw your first comeover? I was crying, laughing.

[Anya]

Okay, this goes into the bald conversation we were having. And we were talking about how, like.

[Drew]

Oh, yeah, we didn't really finish that thought, but, like, bald is beautiful. Be bald. You're meant to be bald.

[Kai]

Yes.

[Anya]

Because I would argue that there are plenty of people on the planet, like, there's such a focus on balding and that happening. But we don't talk about how people have hair, aren't even good at styling their hair. So if you're tweaked out because you're like, oh, my God, my hair. I don't have any. If you did have hair, it'd probably look like Anyway, like, especially if you have been balding for a while, you don't even know how to take care of it. Like, you're fine. You have bigger fish to fry. Let's talk.

[Drew]

Let's like that box.

[Anya]

I mean, low key. Yeah, yeah, because I bet you got some unmaintained nasty ass pubes now. Make that make sense.

[Drew]

No, I don't care. Seriously.

[Anya]

Don't match the drapes.

[Drew]

Like, honestly, guys, stop maintaining your pubes. I'm not even kidding. It's so chic to have a big ass bush.

[Anya]

Oh, okay. I'm not anti bush, but some of y' all let it get.

[Drew]

Like me.

[Anya]

You're gonna let people inside. Bitch, I didn't ask to floss, okay? And like there's a difference between flossing when it's like, no, like flossing, like, wow, that is.

[Drew]

Have you seen the, the length of.

[Anya]

Hair that shouldn't be down? That's what I mean. Grooming.

[Drew]

Like, have you seen the hands free floss picks that you use your tongue? No, I, I leave a comment if you've used it. I'm thinking about buying it, but I don't want to spend $20 to try it.

[Anya]

What?

[Drew]

It's like floss that you. It's like a chunk of plastic with like a floss on it and you pop it in your mouth like a gumball and you like, like use your tongue.

[Kai]

Stupid.

[Anya]

Why wouldn't you use your hand?

[Drew]

Because you can like go for a walk and floss.

[Anya]

You can go for a walk in.

[Drew]

Floss, but people see, it's, it's DL, it's discreet.

[Anya]

Why are you nervous about someone seeing you floss? I guess. Yeah.

[Drew]

Like, it's a very intimate act.

[Anya]

Well, it depends on the kind of flossing you're getting into. Because if you're using like a pick to floss, I don't think that's that like crazy. I think letting someone see you floss, like full floss with like the string, that's crazy.

[Drew]

You know what I realized is how destructive like those one use floss pics are. All of them are made of plastic.

[Anya]

Yeah. Like, I love them though. I'm sorry. I love flossing. I just love floss. Of any kind.

[Drew]

Well, I'm, I'm very pro. Single use plastic. I think we need more. I think we need more single use plastic and I think we need more takeout containers.

[Kai]

I disagree. That's bad.

[Anya]

Wait, no, but the, the hard shell ones, not the paper ones.

[Drew]

Exactly.

[Anya]

Not the paper ones.

[Drew]

Foam ones. The Plastic ones. The ones made out of fossil fuel. Like more of the those, please.

[Kai]

I disagree. I think that's bad. And I actually use condoms. I use them over and over and over. Cuz I'm trying to like, be better for the environment. Do things that are good for the environment.

[Anya]

Damn. So you've only had to like, use it once? Once?

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

No.

[Anya]

So you even have. You haven't really put this theory to the test?

[Kai]

No.

[Anya]

You haven't reused.

[Kai]

No, I have. I. I have to cuz I'm having. I'm so sexually active. I have to.

[Anya]

Did you see that girl who was on a podcast and she was like, ew. People who use condoms are so like, you're a loser.

[Drew]

Literally. I agree. I stand with her.

[Anya]

Wait, seriously? Everyone should have unprotected sex because it's actually probably good for your immune system. It'll boost you off.

[Drew]

I mean, if everybody gets STDs, it's like, no one has pre game baby. Think about that. Everybody, everybody get STDs so we don't have to worry about getting STDs and don't get them cured STIs.

[Anya]

The thing is she was being dead serious, which is also like, I don't really get it because I'm like, what is the. It's specifically from a girl saying that.

[Drew]

I'm like, why?

[Anya]

It's like that back and forth where it's like, are you in jail? And it's like, yeah, what are you gonna do? Snitch? And it's like, yes. It's like, what would you do that for? Like, that's kind of like, for what?

[Drew]

Oh my God. That's like literally my favorite. Like that has been posted on my meme account 5,000 times.

[Anya]

So good. But that's how I feel because I'm like, girl, it's not even like upping like, like really your experience. Unless.

[Drew]

What do you have to gain?

[Anya]

Yeah, what do you have to gain?

[Drew]

Like, what do you have to gain?

[Anya]

Now you're like, not only subjecting yourself to what is most likely mid sex, but now you're like taking all the possible cons and upping the stakes. It's like a weird sort of gambling with like no benefit. But to me, all gambling is no benefit. Because I don't with gambling, period. I'm just such a good person that like, gambling to me is just like, like, not me.

[Drew]

Guys, I'm gonna start a new segment today. Drew's philosophy corner. Okay.

[Kai]

Okay.

[Drew]

Laughter is the shortest distance between two people. No, really marinate with that one look, y' all were laughing, and then y' all were like, wait, let's wake up, okay?

[Anya]

Because I'm trying to make sense of how laughter is.

[Drew]

Like, depression hates a moving target.

[Anya]

It.

[Drew]

He who has a why to live can bear with almost any how.

[Anya]

Dude, sometimes it feels like I'm, like, walking by my sister's room and she's watching Ash Trino online.

[Drew]

Like, eat more hot Cheetos. Oh, your stomach hurts.

[Anya]

Eat more hot Cheetos.

[Kai]

That last one makes sense. I like that.

[Anya]

Well, I. What was the last one?

[Drew]

He who has a wide. Or she. He or she who has a why to live. He, she, or they can bear with almost any how.

[Anya]

A why to live.

[Drew]

If you have a purpose, you can figure it out.

[Anya]

But isn't that such a, like, a dense thing to put on people? Because, like, most people, that's what they're struggling with is they haven't found their purpose. So, like, that's kind of like, if you don't have that purpose yet, then why are you alive?

[Drew]

It's okay to light fire under people's asses to find their purpose. I'm still discovering my purpose.

[Anya]

I think my purpose is unironically too hot. And I would. I'm not kidding.

[Drew]

I think my preference is the smoke weed.

[Anya]

Like, my present. My presence is the purpose, baby.

[Drew]

My purpose is to take the 150 tramadol pills I bought in Mexico three years ago all at once.

[Anya]

Let's see what happens.

[Drew]

Let's go there. Let's go there. Yeah. Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.

[Kai]

That one's good, too. I do really like that because you experience, like, a very specific potency of intimacy, like making someone laugh.

[Drew]

Think about all the oxytocin that's released when we giggle with each other. Like, we could.

[Kai]

Me and Enya are laughing. You're giggling, by the way.

[Anya]

Oh, wait, what?

[Kai]

Because we're laughing. He's giggling.

[Drew]

I'm in my giggle boots era. Let's not forget giggle boots.

[Anya]

Dude. Wait, what were. We were, like, going back and forth on, like, a stupid tangent about that, and you said something so bad, it, like, threw it off. I can't remember. It was something like, you kept, like, throwing back, like, boots. Like, something about boots. And you were like, yeah, the boots without the house. And, like, you said some weird line.

[Drew]

And I was like, okay, who runs the world?

[Anya]

Me.

[Drew]

Who runs the world? Like, if I. Podcaster. Who runs the world? Podcasters. I mean, slightly true.

[Anya]

Sweaty.

[Drew]

Not.

[Anya]

No, but it is terrifying that most people Are getting their news and information in general, top to bottom from theoban.

[Kai]

That is crazy.

[Drew]

Yeah. From Joe Rogan.

[Anya]

Oh, my God.

[Kai]

From Joe Rogan while he's like, blacked out.

[Drew]

Yeah. Also like on GLP3.

[Anya]

Okay.

[Drew]

The flip flop and all inflated.

[Anya]

It's crazy that now even with digital footprint goes to show that like, humans are so stupid and nothing means anything to most people because the flip flopping of like a Theo Vaughn is crazy. You see both sides like Chanel as.

[Drew]

Like wherever the check is.

[Anya]

Yeah, he's. He's bipolitical.

[Drew]

Wait, actually, Theo Vaughn is bisexual.

[Anya]

He's. Try by.

[Drew]

Try by Try guy. Try by Guys. I am craving Reese's right now. I want more little baby mini cups.

[Anya]

Okay.

[Drew]

My teeth are rotting.

[Anya]

I know my teeth have been hurting from how much candy I'm eating. I just can't stop eating candy.

[Drew]

I just can't stop.

[Anya]

And what makes it worse is I actually, I unironically am obsessed with flossing. It's my favorite wind down time.

[Drew]

And I shower in your shower again tonight.

[Anya]

Yeah. Should we sleep in my bed again?

[Drew]

It's too cold in my room.

[Anya]

I know.

[Drew]

The ACs are.

[Anya]

I love sleeping in my room. I can't lie. But I've been because I'm so cold at night, I literally heat myself up like a fucking lean cuisine meal. I like defrost.

[Drew]

No, also the way, like, you fell asleep last night, like you were under the covers and then seconds before you fell asleep, you ripped them all off and you were like, like butt, ass naked, like, sprawled out in bed, like, literally glistening from sweat. You warmed yourself up.

[Anya]

Yeah. Yeah. Because I like to be really warm as I fall asleep. But then as we know, I'm a sweaty girl, so I have to like, get it all off.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Anya]

When I woke up this morning, I was burning alive because now that I have my shoulder heating pad, I put that on my shoulders and then I put a heated blanket on top of all my other blankets. So I really do cook myself. The other night I was thinking about.

[Drew]

How like, those ovaries are. Are done for, baby.

[Anya]

I don't give a. Like.

[Drew]

Wait, we should. Should we go freeze our eggs?

[Anya]

I actually think I want.

[Drew]

Probably should because I'm like, oh, my.

[Anya]

God, I'm turning 27. I definitely should because I think it's like 26 is when it's like.

[Drew]

That's like your prime.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

Yeah.

[Anya]

I'll never forget the girl who had her period in fourth grade. Morgan. I'll never really close to her and I Was so jealous. I was so jealous. I was so jealous. I was like, you're gonna get ticked that early, you. And I was mad close. Loved her so much. But me and all my friends.

[Drew]

I remember enemies closer.

[Anya]

I remember when she told us, because it was. I think Morgan was in my little group. It was like, me, Doreen Marley, and was Morgan in it? Like, it was like, this group of me and, like, three other girls who were all really close all through elementary and fourth grade in ymca. We went to her after school, and she was like, guys, I had my period. And all of us were like, no, you did not. Like, we were like, what the.

[Drew]

Did she lie? Could she.

[Anya]

No, she didn't lie. She wasn't lying. Oh, she had the proof. Because we were like, no. And then she was like, guys, look, I am so. I used to have this in my bag, and it was pads. And we were like, we're so jealous. I wish I had a diaper in my bag.

[Drew]

There's a similar experience with boys.

[Anya]

Ew. And if it's about fucking coming. That's disgusting. Like, that's disgusting.

[Kai]

I will never forget.

[Drew]

I'll never forget. And I'll never forget the first day I made boba.

[Kai]

Oh, I was just saying, like, I will never forget the first day that one of my peers busted. And then they came to school, and it was.

[Drew]

I.

[Kai]

It. Honestly, that event in my life is so dark. And then the. When people started, like, having sex in middle school, that also shattered my reality because I was like, no, you're not. You're not supposed to be doing this.

[Anya]

I literally. My school was it. Like, I knew kids in, like, third grade who had already had sex. And in fourth grade, there were kids who were, like, like, promiscuous.

[Drew]

Is.

[Anya]

Which is really sad to think about, but, I mean, I really was scared. But everyone around me was so, like, overly active, which, again, if I think about too much, it'll actually send me into a spiral. But because of that, going into high school. I think I've said this before. I literally will never forget the summer going into high school. Like, I was, like, obviously 13, turning 14. I was under the impression that I had to have sex. Sex the next year. Like, I for some reason thought, like, yeah, there was, like, this idea.

[Drew]

There's, like, an imaginary pressure for, like, high schoolers.

[Anya]

Yeah. Where it's like, oh, my God, everyone's gonna try to me. I'm so scared. Like, and that didn't happen, actually. Nobody gave a About me, which was lit as, like, unironically. I loved high school because I genuinely just didn't.

[Drew]

Someone tried to initiate a threesome with me.

[Anya]

Me, recently. Oh. In high school. See, like, you, you're up to freaky ass business. You don't have, like, Club Penguin to log into. You don't have anything. Any extracurricular. If you are in high school and already seeking the thrill of a threesome, One, your parents are going to jail. Two, I would love to sit down and have a lunch with you so you could sit with an adult who can tell you to not do that because you are a baby. That's crazy.

[Drew]

How old are you probably? I mean, 16.

[Anya]

That's so crazy, bruh.

[Drew]

Like, and they proceeded to have sex in bed next to me.

[Anya]

Mormons.

[Kai]

No.

[Anya]

Oh, my God. The other night, I had such a good night. I was home alone, and I took a shower and then a bath, and then I got in my, like. Like, pajamas that were actually. It was. I just felt like a Mormon. And then I watched Mormon Housewives, and I was like, the happiest I've ever been in my life. And I need to show you the way I look.

[Drew]

Oh, yeah, you show me that.

[Anya]

Like, I'm literally.

[Drew]

Should we do media?

[Anya]

Yeah.

[Drew]

My media is memorizing by DJ Delacroix, Oxad, Winther, Dud, and 27A Pitchfield Street Bass victim. Also, Orion showed me I could die for you by Red Hot Chili Peppers. That song's major. And then, like, the last minute of I want to be adored is potentially the greatest song ever made by the Stone Roses. Also, Ghost spurs go My WIMBY beat the Titan okc. And it was awesome to see.

[Anya]

I watched the game with you. It was awesome.

[Drew]

Yeah. Oh, wait, yeah. And you watched Mavs vs Jazz last night with me. Cooper Flag dropped 42 and then fumbled bad. Yeah. Oh, my God. It's so sexy to hear you talk about basketball. Like, I'm not even kidding. I just got, like, a boner. If anybody I love talks about basketball, it makes me, like, so bisexual.

[Anya]

Drew was fear mongering me about my flight back to Miami, and he was like. He was talking about. Oh, we were laying in bed, and I was talking about how I always have my hands in my pants when I go to bed. I just, like, always do that. And I was like, sometimes when I'm on a plane, I get really scared that, like, when I turn, if somebody walks by, they're gonna see my hands in my pants and be like, this pervert. And then Drew was like, that's not that crazy. Because, like, think about it. Guys have to fall asleep. Sleep on the plane all the time. And most of the times, if they fall asleep and enter rem, they'll wake up with a boner. So next time you're sitting next to a guy, just look over if he sleeps, because he's probably gonna have a boner, which is the scariest threat, other than, like, Osama bin Laden being in the aisle next to me. Like, oh, my God. Like, oh, my God. Men should have to wear, like.

[Drew]

Like spandex.

[Anya]

Like, what are the metal.

[Drew]

Like, oh, chastity.

[Anya]

Like a woman's chastity belt. You guys should have to wear a woman's chastity belt. So it's all locked up. And that is not a threat to general public, because that's fucked up. And I don't care if it's just your body. And it's natural that it does that. Not natural to me. Keep it to yourself. Okay. My media. I just had to get that out. My media is Finesse by Bruno Mars. And I'm not kidding. I love 24 Karat Magic by Bruno Mars. Guys, I'm so sweaty that I, like, stink. I stink in the winter. Hello. That's honestly it. I don't really have any other media. Oh, I re. Watched the Muppets. What is it called? Oh, my God. The one where Miss Piggy is lying. It's like one of the first Muppet movies. Is it the first Muppet movie? It's the cr.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

The.

[Anya]

The Carol Caper. The Caper. Whatever the it is. I've just been rewatching all the Muppets movies. That's what I've been doing. Bye.

[Drew]

Bye.

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[Anya]

Okay, only 10 more presents to wrap. You're almost at the finish line. But first, shining bright. There, the last one. Enjoy a Coca Cola for a pause that refreshes.

[Narrator/Ad Voice (Nexplanon/Adobe)]

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[Drew]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. The holiday season can be exhausting with all the parties and the end of year celebrations.

[Anya]

But don't forget to take care of.

[Drew]

Yourself by stocking up on your favorite nutritional products now through December 30th. Shop in store and online and save on items like Cliff Snack Bars, Luna Bars, Boost Nutritional Energy Drinks, Premier Protein Shakes, Z Bar Variety Packs, Open Nature Powder and Body Fortress Protein powder offers end December 30th. Restrictions apply. Offers may vary. Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details. We track so many things in our lives. Trending podcasts, playlists, even your favorite artist's next album release. It's time for an easy way to track your glucose. Meet Stello, the powerful glucose biosensor, available without a prescription that tracks glucose 24. 7 to reveal how food, exercise and even sleep can affect your glucose, helping you become a healthier you. Join the personal health revolution [e-mail] this.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

Is an I heart podcast, guaranteed human.