Podcast, so confusing (remixes)

Summary

Emergency Intercom: Episode Summary – "Podcast, So Confusing (Remixes)"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Emergency Intercom
• Host/Authors: Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips
• Episode: "Podcast, So Confusing (Remixes)"
• Release Date: June 28, 2024
• Description: Emergency Intercom is a comedy podcast where Enya and Drew engage in humorous and often chaotic conversations, blending personal anecdotes with witty banter. This episode delves into a tense real-life incident, creative musical endeavors, food adventures, and musings on media and personal growth.

---

1. Introduction and Welcome

Time: [01:15] – [02:24]

The episode kicks off with Kai enthusiastically welcoming listeners to episode 151, celebrating their milestone with excitement. Drew complements Kai's enthusiasm, joking about opening gifts, which leads into a playful exchange about the importance of appreciating daily blessings.

Notable Quote:

• Kai [01:31]: "God gave me two gifts this morning, and they were my eyes opening to see the world. And y'all better believe that is unironic."
• Drew [02:08]: "My name must taste so good."

---

2. Carbon Monoxide Poisoning Incident

Time: [02:24] – [07:31]

A significant portion of the episode centers around Kai recounting a harrowing experience of carbon monoxide (CO) poisoning during a video shoot. While filming indoors using a grill designated as "indoor," Kai insisted on opening a window to prevent CO buildup. Despite initial assurances, alarms triggered, revealing dangerously high CO levels. The trio experienced varying symptoms, with Kai noticing severe dizziness and Drew grappling with anxiety over a colleague's near-collapse.

Key Highlights:

• Prevention Attempt: “[02:10] Drew: I was like, girl, we gonna get carbon monoxide poisoning.”
• During Incident: “[05:18] Kai: It was spooky oooky vibes.”
• Aftermath: “[07:18] Kai: They were just going to put me on 100 oxygen… my insurance sucks.”

Notable Quotes:

• Kai [03:47]: "I feel like literally tanking. Like it was such a weird sensation."
• Drew [05:00]: "They don't [fire trucks] in Texas at all."
• Kai [07:46]: "I was sweating, like, out my ass. It was literally terrifying."

---

3. Creative Remixes and Musical Banter

Time: [11:04] – [21:58]

The conversation transitions into the hosts discussing their foray into creating remixes. They playfully critique each other's work, sharing snippets of lyrics that reflect personal dynamics and industry-related "beefs." The segment is marked by humorous exchanges about song quality and creative frustrations.

Key Highlights:

• Remix Discussions: Kai mentions being featured on multiple remixes, prompting Drew’s light-hearted jealousy.
• Song Lyrics Reading: They recite parts of their remixed songs, highlighting interpersonal tensions and humorous takes on relationships.

Notable Quotes:

• Kai [13:17]: "I'm on the fourth remix."
• Drew [15:10]: "Why didn't I get a mention in that one?"
• Kai [21:43]: "Drew, side up corner."

---

4. Taco Bell and Food Adventures

Time: [22:04] – [50:35]

A substantial segment involves Kai and Drew sharing their latest culinary experiences, particularly focusing on their attempts with Taco Bell’s new Cheez It menu items. Kai expresses frustration over the absence of cheese in the Crunchwrap Supreme, leading to a humorous yet relatable rant about the dish’s shortcomings. Drew reminisces about a fun night at Taco Bell that coincided with a movie outing, blending humor with personal anecdotes about food preferences and experiences.

Key Highlights:

• Disappointment with Crunchwrap: Kai’s detailed grievances about missing cheese highlight common fast-food frustrations.
• Memorable Night Out: Drew recounts a memorable evening involving watching "Inside Out 2," heavy indulgence in Taco Bell, and the surreal experiences of being high at the restaurant and theater.
• Food Preferences: Both hosts humorously discuss their likes and dislikes, including refried beans, peanut butter, and various snack foods.

Notable Quotes:

• Kai [27:15]: "Taco Bell counts your days."
• Drew [28:09]: "So you are being irrational. You're being irritable and scary and, like, nasty."
• Kai [50:07]: "I got the Swedish candy bonbons and it was so divine. It was so yummers. It was Yummersville."

---

5. Media Reviews and Personal Stories

Time: [50:35] – [67:50]

The hosts delve into reviews of recent movies and documentaries, including "Inside Out 2," "Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse," and the Bollywood film "Triple R." They share their perspectives on storytelling, directing styles, and personal connections to the media they consume. Alongside media discussions, Kai and Drew incorporate personal stories that blend introspection with humor, touching on mental health, gratitude, and the impact of external influences on their well-being.

Key Highlights:

• Movie Magic: Drew praises "Inside Out 2," highlighting its emotional impact and creative execution.
• Documentary Praise: Kai lauds "Triple R" and its director, comparing him to Werner Herzog for his storytelling techniques.
• Personal Reflections: The hosts discuss their approaches to gratitude and positive thinking, incorporating anecdotes about therapy and personal growth.

Notable Quotes:

• Drew [41:46]: "I'm very grateful, but I am sad against my own will."
• Kai [49:02]: "We all do perceive this world in different ways."
• Drew [56:23]: "Honestly, I find so much joy in complaining."

---

6. Philosophical Musings and Humor

Time: [67:50] – [58:17]

In the latter part of the episode, Enya and Drew engage in philosophical discussions intertwined with their signature humor. Topics range from the nature of empathy, self-respect, and reality perception to humorous takes on everyday objects like ladders and personal hygiene routines. The conversation reflects their ability to blend deep thoughts with light-hearted banter, maintaining a comedic tone throughout.

Key Highlights:

• Empathy Discussions: Kai humorously argues that empathy is a “bad thing” due to the metaphorical discomforts it brings.
• Reality Perception: Drew shares introspective thoughts on how interacting with others’ physical experiences shapes his connection to reality.
• Humor in Daily Life: Lighthearted jokes about deodorant usage, sunburns, and personal habits keep the conversation lively.

Notable Quotes:

• Kai [37:44]: "It's bad to put yourself in other people's shoes."
• Drew [47:14]: "That's where my brain is at."
• Kai [58:03]: "I want to be swaddled like a baby."

---

7. Final Thoughts and Closing Remarks

Time: [67:50] – [68:17]

As the episode nears its end, the hosts continue their playful exchanges, touching briefly on topics like soda preferences and upcoming media releases. The episode concludes with a humorous nod to advertisements, mirroring the intro segments, and leaving listeners with a comedic close.

Notable Quotes:

• Kai [60:44]: "Like, what are you consuming? Because it's literally like swamp water."
• Drew [68:17]: "Have y'all ever heard of self-respect?"

---

Conclusion

"Podcast, So Confusing (Remixes)" by Emergency Intercom offers a blend of intense real-life storytelling, creative endeavors, and lighthearted humor. Enya (Kai) and Drew navigate through personal anecdotes, creative critiques, and philosophical musings with engaging chemistry, making the episode both entertaining and impactful. Their ability to weave serious topics with comedic elements ensures that both long-time listeners and newcomers find value and amusement in their conversations.

Key Takeaways:

• Appreciation of Daily Blessings: Highlighted by Kai’s emphasis on gratitude and mindful living.
• Importance of Safety Awareness: Illustrated by the carbon monoxide incident, underscoring the need for vigilance.
• Creative Expression Through Music: Showcased by their discussions on remixes and song lyrics.
• Humorous Take on Food Experiences: Relatable and funny narratives about fast-food mishaps and preferences.
• Balanced Personal Growth: Reflecting on mental health and the power of positive thinking amidst challenges.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Kai [02:10]: "God gave me two gifts this morning, and they were my eyes opening to see the world."
• Drew [05:18]: "But I was like, I can't tell."
• Kai [13:17]: "I'm on the fourth remix."
• Drew [21:43]: "Drew, side up corner."
• Kai [27:15]: "Taco Bell counts your days."
• Drew [41:46]: "I'm very grateful, but I am sad against my own will."
• Kai [37:44]: "It's bad to put yourself in other people's shoes."
• Kai [58:03]: "I want to be swaddled like a baby."

---

Recommendation:
Listeners who enjoy a mix of heartfelt storytelling, creative discussions, and comedic banter will find this episode particularly engaging. Whether it's grappling with real-life fears, exploring creative outlets, or sharing humorous takes on everyday experiences, Enya and Drew deliver an entertaining and relatable podcast episode.

Transcript

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[Drew]

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[Kai]

Hey. Hey. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Episode 151. Wow. We made it.

[Drew]

You. You opened two gifts today in your eyes.

[Kai]

No, literally. God gave me two gifts this morning, and they were my eyes opening to see the world. And y' all better believe that is unironic.

[Drew]

What? We're like, we're holding on to where we're at mentally.

[Kai]

We're holding on to. We're holding on.

[Drew]

I literally was saying to my friend the other day, I was like, I need to just. Like, I need to take it back and just be happy that I wake up every day. That in itself should be joy. I.

[Kai]

That's the gift. Wait, it. God gave us the gift. God gave us a. And it's the present.

[Drew]

God gave us the gift. And it's the gift on giving because we always wake up. You are. You're always talking about me. My. My name must taste so good.

[Kai]

Wait, what?

[Drew]

I said that to Ryan yesterday.

[Kai]

She was like, oh, I don't get. Oh, like my name is in your mouth.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Mason]

Oh, I got it immediately.

[Drew]

Thank you. Damn. Oh, I'm crazy. I'm the crazy one. I'm gonna go.

[Kai]

That was almost as bad as Drew. Stand up.

[Drew]

Okay, well, don't say that shit to me because that.

[Kai]

No, that was terrible. That was horrible. Okay, guys, so if I seem a little off, it's because something insane happened to me. I don't know how much of the context I can share, but a long story short, I literally got carbon monoxide poisoning. Like, legitimately got carbon monoxide poisoning. No, dead serious. Like, unironically. We were filming a video with someone Surprise. Coming out at the top of next month or some shit. Like 30 days from now. And we were cooking indoors and it's on fucking video. But I don't know, I can't say her name, but someone brought out a grill. We were filming for her channel and she called it an indoor grill. And I was like, girl, we're gonna get carbon monoxide poisoning. You can't just like use a grill. And Thor. And it is on video. And there everybody was like, no, no, no, we're good. It's made for the indoors. And I was like, okay, well, I'm gonna open a window just in case. So I open the window, we launch the grill, we cook for three hours, nothing happens. Everything is fine. But like by the end of it, like, we're all feeling a little off, but no one's saying anything, anything because we're all just like mentally deranged and out of it.

[Drew]

Yeah, also, we're also just all like a little drained because we filmed for like three hours.

[Kai]

Exactly, exactly. And so we're like ch. After we finished filming and just like chatting and then we hear like all these alarms going off in the house. And we're like, girl, what the is that? I thought it was like smoke alarms, but then like the videographers came out and they were like, no, it's carbon monoxide. We've just been existing in carbon monoxide levels, like high levels of carbon monoxide for like hours. And one of them starts freaking the out. And I'm still like laughing and like doing a bunch of bits and like we're running inside and like filming me on the floor and like a toxic environment, whatever. I still feel like a little off, but I feel like pretty much fine. And then everybody else is like, totally chill. But like, over time, I just like felt myself like literally tanking. Like it was such a weird sensation. Like we were sitting out front because we weren't allowed to be inside. And we like collected all the cats and we were all chilling out there. And I like could feel like my vision kind of blurring. Like I saw like a black outline on everything I looked at. And I was like, girl, what the is going on? Like, But I didn't say anything cuz I didn't want anybody to be scared. Only ways fire trucks show up, they clear us to go back.

[Drew]

They don't no in Texas at all. Which I was like, the also being in those situations is so funny because my baseline is so low. Don't ask if I feel fine. I literally, I just feel the way I always do. So now I'm just scared cuz I'm like, is. Am I not supposed to feel like this? And I just can't tell.

[Kai]

But yeah, it was. It was spooky ookie vibes.

[Drew]

And then I was coming down from my Adderall that day, so I like, actually couldn't tell. I was just like.

[Kai]

But we go back inside because we opened the windows, we were cleared by the fire department to go back in. And it was like probably an hour of ventilation. And we're just sitting and chopping it up and just chatting. And I'm sitting on the stairs and I start getting so dizzy. But I don't say anything still because I'm like. I don't want them to think I'm like over exaggerating or like faking or like, whatever for attention. And so I don't say anything. And then like, the person we filmed with kept being like, drew, you need to leave. Like, you're. You're acting off, like something's off. And then I start feeling my test or my chest tightening up, and I start getting really short of breath and I'm like, okay, something is seriously, like, wrong. And then I was like, if I throw up, like, that's when I should go to the hospital. Because I was like, I don't need to go to the fucking.

[Drew]

Because we were in the car and he was like, like flopping around. And now I'm getting anxious because I'm like, is this gonna die in my passenger seat?

[Kai]

I was literally fainting and I literally.

[Drew]

I kept being like, I'm gonna take you to urgent care. I'm gonna take you. Like, I'm driving on the highway so I can't look find one. And then he'd be like, no, it's fine, it's fine. I'm probably just being dramatic. And then would literally like, like, knock out. And I was just kept checking to see if he was breathing because I was like, what is happening? This motherfucker is dying. And then we got home and he was like. He's like, that was actually crazy. I thought I was gonna d. Was like, yeah, I know. And you wouldn't let me take you to the fudgeing hospital. Because then he was like, they're just going to charge me. Like, okay, that is the crazy thing. Like when we were all talking about it, when we were even contemplating if the ambulance was going to come, the fact that all of us were me like, okay, we might have carbon monoxide poisoning, but actually it's Going to cost so much. So should we all just kind of, like, risk, like, chilling if we're going to chill? Which is the craziest vibe, everybody. Andrew was just like, they're just going to charge me money to give me oxygen, and I'm breathing it in right now.

[Kai]

Yeah, they were just going to put me on 100 oxygen, and I was like, I'm breathing 100 oxygen right now. Like, literally. What are you talking about? And it would have cost probably, like $30,000 because my insurance sucks. Also.

[Drew]

Then when you were in the bathroom when we got home for too long, I literally was on my phone and I was like, I need to go over there to see if he's alive, because I don't know if you know. So I went into the kitchen. I was like. I just started talking to see if you were alive, because I was like, if this dies under my care, I'm killing myself. I'm gonna be so pissed. I'm gonna kill myself.

[Kai]

It was. It was spooky vibes. I like, barely, like, remember the car ride. And, like, I was repeating. I was repeating a bunch of. I was sweating, like, out my ass. Like, it was. It was literally terrifying. But I felt crazy because everybody else felt fine. But for some reason, like, it's because I'm so little and petite.

[Drew]

No, it's because you're. Oh, she was right. It's because you're weak minded. So somebody said you have carbon monoxide poisoning and then your body went to placebo and told you that. Someone said that to me, and I was like, you shall not cast those spirits on my soul. And. And I was fine.

[Kai]

No, it's because I'm so little and petite. I'm like a canary bird that they bring into the caves. And I just, like, have so much so, so little body mass that, like, such little bits of carbon monoxide.

[Mason]

Like, dude, you actually do look like you're dead in that picture.

[Kai]

No, it was giving, like, fucking passed out on the concrete 2.0. Like, it was scary vibes. Insert that video in the hospital.

[Mason]

I mean, we could drive him to the hospital.

[Drew]

No, I'm not going to the hospital.

[Mason]

We could just drive to the hospital. It wouldn't cost $4,000.

[Drew]

The thing is, Mason, last night was literally throwing up, like, four times in a row. And we did take him to the hospital. So I'm like, why do we have to take Drew to the hospital? Look at him.

[Mason]

He's way worse than Mason. This is like Project X. Yeah, I know.

[Drew]

What if there's Like, I'm cutting this picture, but yeah, I'm just, like, really strong. But that. That was the thing. I was like, okay, if you're the only one who's feeling sick and you're not throwing up, because I. I do agree. If you started throwing up, I would have been like, okay, we need to go to the hospital. But in the car, I was gonna take him to the hospital anyway, but I was like, then this motherfucker's gonna be mad at me when he, like, when I, like, try to save his life. And then they. I bring him there and they're like, girl, go home.

[Kai]

I called the ER and they were like, like, literally just come, like, call an ambulance if you can drive, drive. And I was just like, okay.

[Drew]

Yeah. They were like, we can't give you any medical advice. Okay. What the is the point of you being by the phone?

[Kai]

Yeah, exactly. Well, so I survived. I'm a surfing viver.

[Drew]

I'm a surfing vibe.

[Kai]

Yeah, basically. Damn. Now what now?

[Drew]

So you are being irrational. You're being irritable and scary and, like, nasty.

[Kai]

Don't fucking play with me.

[Drew]

The thing is too, it's like, we always say this every time you have, like, what is nearing a medical emergency. It is so hard to navigate with you because you, like, go into bits where you're like, okay, I'm freaking out. I forgot. Oh, my God. Okay, what's happening? And then two minutes pass and you're like, honestly, I'm fine. I'm probably being dramatic. And then because I don't know, you're like, wait, I'm crazy. What's happening? And that's what was happening in the car. And I was like, bro, I literally can't read this situation. I don't know. But I did feel funky. But like I was saying, because I was explaining to you after I had my hair up and a half up, half down all day, my head always hurts from it. So I was like, my head could just be hurting from that. I don't know. I was feeling, like, a little, like, wobbly. But again, I had taken my medicine that day, so I was like, I'm probably just coming down from my medicine and from being on camera and also on top of everything, I'm so strong. So it just takes a lot. Yeah, like, it would take so much poison to kill me.

[Kai]

Yeah, that's true. No, you're so big that it takes a lot more.

[Drew]

No, I'm big minded.

[Kai]

That's true, that's true, that's true.

[Mason]

Do you guys see who's on the new remix for the Charlie XCX song.

[Drew]

Lord.

[Kai]

Lord.

[Mason]

Well, that one came out, but then another one came out.

[Kai]

There's another one?

[Mason]

Yeah, and I'm another one.

[Drew]

Thank you. Another one.

[Kai]

You're on it.

[Drew]

Wait, what'd you say?

[Mason]

I'm on it. I'm on the remix.

[Kai]

No, you're fucking not. Play it. Yeah, if you have it, play it.

[Drew]

Is it on streaming?

[Mason]

Yeah, it's on stream. I just sent you a link. True.

[Kai]

Oh my God.

[Mason]

It just came out. It just dropped. Get out on remix. Remember how close we were? Maybe I loved you too much and now we barely hang out.

[Kai]

Again.

[Drew]

Y' all are so annoying.

[Mason]

I know how you feel, cuz I would ride for you and.

[Drew]

And lie for me?

[Mason]

Oh, no, I'd ride for you.

[Kai]

I would ride for you and. Damn. The twink shut out the twink death bar goes nice.

[Drew]

Wait, did you say you experienced twink death or Drew did?

[Kai]

No, Kai experienced twink death and he was never my type anyways. Which is tea. I was just hitting for the of it like I didn't give a. And you know what the real tea of it all is? Kai? Yeah, I'm on the fourth remix.

[Drew]

Fourth remix.

[Kai]

I'm on the four dress. Charlie and Lord asked me to be on the remix. They asked me to be on.

[Drew]

You know what's fucked up is like, if by chance any of them hear any of that, they're going to be.

[Mason]

Like, what the fuck?

[Drew]

Why are you doing that? Also, what prompted you to do that? Why did you do that?

[Mason]

Dude, she asked me. She was like, you have beef with Josiah, you should fix it.

[Drew]

She knows Josiah well.

[Mason]

She was just like. Oh, like all like a bunch of industry. She said a bunch of industry beef is getting squashed right now on my album. So you should join.

[Kai]

Yeah. The Lana. The Lana Azalea shit. The Kai, Drew and Josiah shit. No, but. But I liter. I was like, not joking. I'm on the 4:3 mix. Like, I have it right here.

[Drew]

You have a song too.

[Mason]

Did that just.

[Kai]

Oh, I was fucking Josiah. I was having so much fun. I didn't know it made you jealous. I was everyone. Just like you were saying. I was meant to be free. You will hold me down real tight. And I just couldn't even breathe. I just. Your heart, my heart. You both know who. They're up. Cool. And I just want to restart. Let's take it back to the top. Because I'm more of a bottle. I just want you to use me. Why don't you just abuse me. You were feeling neglected and I totally get it now. I know how you feel. And I will ride for you, Kyle.

[Drew]

Why didn't I get a mention in that one? Why didn't you mention me, bro?

[Kai]

Because this.

[Mason]

Addressing our beef.

[Kai]

And you sound jealous. Actually, you sound hel. Jealous because you didn't get a song.

[Drew]

Have songs to each other. I got something for you. Yeah, Crazy. Oh, yeah? Yeah.

[Mason]

Oh, I just.

[Drew]

And use your ears and listen. Get away from you. I just can't quit you see, I picked the harder song, by the way.

[Mason]

This one is way hard.

[Kai]

You went crazy curious.

[Drew]

I need you.

[Kai]

I don't have that. Hey, Everybody wants me. Holy. Everybody wants me. I hate everybody wants me.

[Drew]

I know. All of the songs are about you.

[Kai]

Pale gray skin. You don't even know. Hey, hey.

[Mason]

That part.

[Kai]

Wait. India is taken for granted.

[Drew]

That's what I'm saying. Pretty face and a perfect body. I'm so crazy what you want? I don't want you to die. Not just true, but also kind. We almost.

[Kai]

Every you.

[Mason]

Dude, the end.

[Kai]

What the.

[Mason]

That last note.

[Kai]

That sucks. That last bar. You sound, like, actually good. Like, unironically. Like, that's a good song. But that last note is crazy.

[Drew]

Just feeling too serious. I was like, I need to start screaming or something because this, like, feels like I'm trying hard. Also, this is the audio. I said I was going crazy last night after making this. Literally going crazy. Why am I listening to this? I'm like. I was so high. I was listening to it. I was like, wait. I slid.

[Kai]

Like, I actually listened to it, like, 26 times. And I'm not kidding. She listened to it like, it was. What's that Antwar Village song with the guy with the nails in his head?

[Drew]

Tizo Touchdown.

[Mason]

Village.

[Drew]

What the Are you talking about? Die Antword. Like, what?

[Kai]

The song. He has a song called, like, Antward Village or something.

[Drew]

No, he doesn't.

[Kai]

Yes, he does. It's the one that rain was just like. I actually like that.

[Drew]

That's third coast.

[Kai]

But he says something about, like, a. I don't. I don't care, bro. Whatever.

[Mason]

I ate during the drop on Enya's. Those, like, first eight bars are so fucking.

[Kai]

Aren't they crazy? The Grind Delete and Grinder off your phone. I don't know why you're saying that, because I literally don't have that on my fucking.

[Drew]

That's crazy. Because if you go to. Recently deleted. Actually, no. If you go to the App Store and you go to Grindr, it Says redownload. Redownload. It doesn't say download.

[Mason]

Oh, yeah. It has the icon of the cloud.

[Kai]

No.

[Mason]

Yeah, it does.

[Drew]

And then if you go to his history on icloud, he's been having that app for, like, seven years.

[Kai]

No. So actually, like, a decade unironically.

[Drew]

But, dude, that was insane that we just, like, played back to back.

[Kai]

We played an album. We played an album. We played an EP for them. No, I can't wait for her to. I know her ass is gonna hear that. And, like, if I was her, I would be like, bro, like, you're disrespecting my art. Like, chill. But I'm also like, it's parody. Like, you know you made it. When you get a parody song made about your music, it's so good.

[Drew]

That's not even parodying. Was coming from my heart.

[Kai]

Like, actually. Yeah, yeah.

[Mason]

Once you added the reverb to Enya's, it, like, sounds. It doesn't sound like a parody.

[Kai]

It sounds very real.

[Drew]

It sounds like I was really trying, dude. I was, like, so high, and I was, like, hyper fixated on this, dude.

[Kai]

Like, literally, like, it took, like, three hours to record hers.

[Drew]

It took, like, an hour, guys.

[Kai]

I was so tired by the end.

[Drew]

I know.

[Kai]

Trying so hard.

[Drew]

When you left the room, I, like, finished. Like, the second half of that. I did in the span of, like, 10 minutes when Drew left the room, because I was like, okay, I just need to get this over. Because he's, like, knocking out on his bed.

[Kai]

Yeah, but I was trying so hard to be there for you. I was like, no. Like, this is lit. Like, this is a movie and I was awake.

[Mason]

I was in my room, like, stressed out about the lyrics. I was like, no. Like, this isn't good enough.

[Kai]

You would have seen how stressed I was about the lyrics. But I was. When I couldn't get, like, certain fucking, like, melodies right, I was, like, having a condition fit, like, during the drop. Like, I recorded that. I'm not kidding, like, 26 times and deleted everything I was doing because I couldn't get, like, how Lord was doing the melodies, like, where she was going up instead of down. So I was just like, it.

[Drew]

It's literally that's how I even found out this was happening, because I wasn't supposed to know. But I kept hearing Drew talking, and at first I was playing Fortnite, so I thought he was just on the phone, but then he kept, like, repeating. I was like, what is he doing? And I went to his room and I heard him, like, singing and then I saw that the mic and everything was on his bed. And I was like, what are you doing? He was like, oh, nothing. Like, whatever. And I was like, obviously at this point, I had heard it. And I was like, what are you doing, though? What are you doing? Because I heard him mention Kai. So I was like, these are making music without me. Like, I literally. I literally just felt like a kid. I felt left out. And I was like, I want something. Like, me too. What about me?

[Kai]

Well, if it makes you feel better, you objectively made the best song. And then Kai's is the second best, and then mine is the third worst.

[Mason]

Dude, the timing getting up halfway through, I couldn't figure out how to fix it.

[Kai]

Dude, your twink death bar goes so crazy. For real. Well, that was our album coming to streaming services. If Charlie will let us very soon, please.

[Drew]

No, I don't need anybody to have that on their phone.

[Kai]

Girl. That is getting downloaded and put on YouTube immediately.

[Drew]

Oh, my God.

[Kai]

But, well, Taco Bell counts your days, freak. I swear to God, Taco Bell. Like, I'm not even playing anymore. Like, I've actually had. I've actually.

[Drew]

Taco Bell. I hate you, Taco Bell.

[Kai]

I hate you, Taco Bell. I've had it up to literally here with Taco Bell. No, but for real, Like, I've been trying to get that cheez it Crunchwrap Supreme. I hate Crunchwrap Supremes. I think they're the worst item on the Taco Caca Bell menu. Like them can't do it. Don't like it. But I was going to give it a chance because I wanted the cheez it tostada. Like, the big fucking massive cheez its. Because I've been heavy like. Like loving cheez its recently. Like, it's been on my mind heavily. Like, I. It's like, I get that snack now. It's part of my, like, gas station convenience store order. What? What did.

[Drew]

And I bet because I've been like, cheeses have been on my mind lately. Like, the way you're talking with cheeses.

[Kai]

And Golden Fiction Cheese kids and goldfish. Like, I swear to God, they're like the best, like, snacks right now, Snoops. But I've ordered it twice now. And the first time I was like, you know what? Like, it was late, like, and it.

[Drew]

Was a new item.

[Kai]

Yeah, it was a new item. I'm like, okay, they forgot to put the cheez it inside of my crunch wrap. I'm not eating a crunch wrap without a cheese inside of it. Because they're rancid. They taste like boiled. Whatever. Boiled balls is what I was gonna say. Salty balls. But so I didn't eat it. And then I ate the burrito because it came with a burrito inside the box and it had hella refried beans in it. And I hate refried beans. Like, refried beans are. They're trauma for me. If you really want me to get into it. I was forced to eat refried bean burritos and cans of refried beans every day for like three and a half, four years.

[Drew]

The thing is. You're not joking.

[Kai]

No, I'm being dead serious. I hate refried.

[Drew]

It kind of makes sense because I feel like you were a kid who needed protein, so I think I would force my kid to eat that too.

[Kai]

Yeah, I need protein now.

[Drew]

You need peanut butter.

[Kai]

I want to eat scoops of peanut butter like all day. But I just keep forgetting to buy peanut butter. Like I literally keep forgetting to buy it. But anyways, I ordered again because so Rain and Enya went out to in and out too. And I wanted out too.

[Drew]

It was the best night of my life. I'm not kidding. It literally reset something in my brain. Like it gave me an extra push I needed because a day before, like that day, actually I had a two hour session with my therapist. I have been down so bad. Seeing psychiatric psychiatrist soon, like, I need help. And then Rain was like, get you out of the house. Like, let's go have fun. So we went and watched inside out too. But I was like, I need to be really high for this. So we both got high and there was a Taco Bell right next to the theater. So we were like, we should go to the Taco Bell, get the cheese. It's like new, like special menu items. And then bring it into the theater because, like, the theater was going to be empty. Yeah, it was like a late showing. We were stuck in the Taco Bell for so long that we both started getting high in the Taco Bell. And I'm not kidding, it felt like I had crossed a new line of a dimension. Like the people in there, the people filtering in and out were freaking me the out. It literally was like new genre of characters. Like, there was this one guy with long hair and like a shave down the middle that had like kind of grown out. And he was yelling at the workers because he was like a doordasher and they wouldn't give him his like, like his thing. And like he like threw a fit and yelled at them and then left. And then two Minutes later, came back. It was like, no, seriously, can I get my stuff, though? Because they were, like, so busy, was taking so long. We were in there for 30 minutes, but we finally get our Taco Bell. And we didn't get drinks because we're putting all of the Taco Bell into, like, this big bag Rain had, and we're like, oh, we'll just get, like, drinks at the movie theaters. We were so late, and it was such a late showing that by the time we were going into the theater, the doors were closed. We had to, like, bang on the doors till a worker came out from the back to open it. And. And they had turned off all the soda machines, so we had to eat our Taco Bell with water, which to me is, like, fudgeing insane. Because at this point, if I'm having Taco Bell and not pushing it down with the soda, the fuck am I doing? We got in there. I'm not kidding. The way I felt watching that movie was exactly how I felt when I watched Spider Man 2 Into the Spider verse, like, the second one.

[Kai]

That was, like, a very significant moment in India's life.

[Drew]

I couldn't believe.

[Kai]

Transcendental.

[Drew]

I was watching that movie, and I was like, movie magic.

[Kai]

God is good.

[Drew]

So real.

[Mason]

It was good.

[Drew]

It was amazing. Granted, I was so high, so.

[Kai]

But they missed the first 15 minutes of the movie, which is the best part of the movie, because the sexy dad is, like, picking other dudes up at hockey matches.

[Mason]

Did they bring him back?

[Kai]

Yes, like, and they brought him back in a big way.

[Drew]

I don't give a about that man. I don't give a. To see that man.

[Kai]

Okay. Like, I do.

[Drew]

You're just mad you didn't see.

[Mason]

That is what Drew cares about most.

[Kai]

No, unironically.

[Drew]

That's why he wants to see the movie.

[Kai]

Yeah. I want to see him on the big screen, on the silver screen.

[Mason]

So they added new emotions.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Mason]

Did they add, like, horny?

[Kai]

It's a kids movie, Kai.

[Drew]

Yeah, that's really funny, actually. Oh, no. Yeah.

[Kai]

This is your over.

[Mason]

It was like, a joke. I didn't think it through. I'm sorry. I just thought in my head, you guys, like, burst out laughing.

[Drew]

What was I gonna say? Oh. So basically, I had the best night ever, and I got to try the new Cheez it menu items from Taco Bell. I actually had two of the Cheez it tostadas, and then Drew stand on the parallel.

[Kai]

I wanted to match their energy in a way. I was gonna go, but it was a late night. Showing. And I'm geriatric, mind you. Point.

[Drew]

It's a 10pm show.

[Kai]

Yeah. That means you. You get home at midnight at. At the very earliest. And I'm like, I need to be in bed at midnight and rotting by then, so I can be asleep by 1am But. And I also knew, like, I was gonna get trapped into going to Rain's house for, like, six hours, so I was just like, no, I'm just.

[Drew]

I mean, it was awesome. We went to her house. She made. She gave me blueberry muffin ice cream with crumble top, and then we watched, like, every Beyonce video ever.

[Mason]

Yeah, that sounds.

[Kai]

So that is. That is basically.

[Drew]

I got in the car, and I.

[Kai]

Was literally like, that is basically the greatest. That is basically the greatest night of my life.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

And I missed it, and so I wanted to match your energy. So I got my second attempt at getting the Cheez It Crunchwrap supreme, and they didn't put the Cheez it inside of it. And I'm like, literally, what the. Like, I'm like, I. You think you have a hex? I have a hex. Like, they're not giving me my food and my orders. Like, I'm over. I'm literally over it. So Taco Bell. Count your day.

[Drew]

Well, also, they're. They're crunch wrap. This is the, like, longest conversation about Taco Bell ever had on, like, any podcast. But their Crunchwrap supreme with the cheese, it, like, you literally just can't taste it in there. So there's a chance it was in there, but it's mushy, nast, nasty. Like, exploded diaper. Like, that's what that is.

[Kai]

But I substituted beef for chicken, and I found out that y' all did the same, and I was like, wow.

[Drew]

But we did shredded chicken. Did you do the cubed or shredded?

[Kai]

I did shredded. Yeah, the slow roasted shredded.

[Drew]

The shredded chicken on the cheez it toast. Come on.

[Kai]

We're like this.

[Drew]

What the Is that motion?

[Kai]

It's like we're connected. We're like this scissoring.

[Drew]

No, connected.

[Kai]

Do girls scissor?

[Drew]

I wouldn't know. I don't know why you're asking me.

[Kai]

Okay.

[Drew]

Like, the stuff girls do together. No idea. Not a clue. Like, never even thought about it or seen it.

[Kai]

You're acting very guilty right now. It's kind of creeping me out.

[Mason]

Did you see the Time Traveler stopped the.

[Kai]

The ceiling collapse? Yeah, yeah, we saw it.

[Drew]

My only song of the week is literally just Ribs by Lord because that song is a classic.

[Kai]

Dude, I love that Song that goes.

[Mason]

Hard as the comment was like, drew's gonna lose his mind when he sees this.

[Kai]

He's gonna have a break. It was very demonic. Like I didn't like the demon.

[Drew]

I don't like that people could just do that on their iPhones. Like it reminds me of at the beginning. It's like tik tok. I saw this tik tok where a girl was like using like cap cut to edit herself like shooting up and like all this stupid stuff. And then the caption was, I cannot believe iPhones let uncles make this kind of stuff now. Cuz every time you see a video like that when it's serious, it's like some random uncle in the middle of nowhere.

[Kai]

Oh my God. I'm the random uncle?

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Oh God. I'm the like freaky.

[Drew]

You're the like weird ass uncle.

[Kai]

Oh my God. I keep forgetting that.

[Drew]

No, you're the weird ass Gunkle though. I wish we had that plan and we had like an air pressure thing to like eject me out.

[Mason]

Do we have air pressure?

[Drew]

Oh my God, bro.

[Kai]

It sounds like the world is ending outside right now. I know, like everything ever is happening. But anyways, I watched Triple R R, the Bollywood movie Kai. Have you seen it yet?

[Mason]

Dude, that's a masterpiece.

[Kai]

It's so good. It is so sick.

[Drew]

I could not tap in bruh.

[Kai]

Someone. I'm not kidding, the demon from that fucking video is breaking in right now. I heard me talking about him.

[Mason]

Dude, that movie, it like single handedly.

[Kai]

Sorry. That was my dump truck.

[Mason]

Okay?

[Kai]

I sat down and just shook the earth. Yeah, my fat fucking ass, man, is so girthy. It's so ginormous and heavy.

[Mason]

To describe your ass as girthy.

[Kai]

It's big.

[Drew]

It's dense.

[Kai]

Yeah, it's a dense ass.

[Mason]

It's thick. You do have a big perfect bubble butt. Anyway, that movie was so good.

[Kai]

That felt like painful coming out of your mouth. You didn't even want to say that. It's just like a part of you now.

[Drew]

Yeah, I couldn't get into that movie, but I think I came since I came home late.

[Kai]

Yeah, you missed like the first half.

[Drew]

Yeah, I missed like the hype and I just walked in on it and instead of paying attention, I went into the kitchen and I made my dinner, which was a tuna sandwich, olives, some chicken nuggets and a few fries. And I sat right next to Josie, eating in. All he did was complain for like 20 minutes that I was eating the stinkiest meal.

[Kai]

It was so.

[Drew]

It was really good, though. Tuna and olives is really good. And they are the stinkiest foods I could possibly be eating.

[Kai]

You literally eat Resident Evil food. Yeah.

[Mason]

Maybe you could add vegetables next time.

[Kai]

Oh, my God.

[Drew]

Who the are you talking to? And yet you're literally becoming subordinate. Like, you are insubordinate. Oh, yeah, right, right.

[Mason]

I'm just looking out for you because there's a lot of minerals and vitamins.

[Drew]

I eat vegetables. The. I don't eat vegetables.

[Kai]

I've never seen her eat.

[Mason]

I've never seen you eat vegetables.

[Drew]

Exactly. Oh, it says Mr.

[Mason]

Cheese.

[Kai]

I've seen you eat. I had lettuce inside of my Crunch wrap. Let's talk about that. And tomatoes.

[Mason]

I've seen you eat synthetic gummies that are shaped like vegetables.

[Kai]

Yeah, and it was fucking good. Every single time.

[Drew]

Wait, do I eat vegetables? No. Yeah, I do. Fudge you bitch. I eat vegetables.

[Kai]

The fog sounds like someone who doesn't eat.

[Drew]

No, I eat salads, guys, seriously, like, I love a good salad.

[Kai]

I ate salads.

[Drew]

You ate like, past 10 period?

[Kai]

No, I ate point blank, period, that part. But yeah, our was sick. A very relatable movie. I feel like I'm the main guy. I feel like I just am. I embody him. No, but that was, like, a cute best friend story. I didn't know. Like, Bollywood movies are, like, super homoerotic like that. Like, there were a bunch of moments where I was like, damn, they fucking kiss right now. Like, I don't think.

[Mason]

I don't think it was homoerotic. I think you might have just been projecting.

[Drew]

It felt like that to me.

[Kai]

Well, I wanted them to kiss. Like, who doesn't?

[Drew]

Because they kept falling on top of each other and, like, straddling each other. And I was like, all right, yeah, what are you going to do holding.

[Kai]

Each other and shit? Like, it was a vibe.

[Drew]

If you're already there, you might as well go for it.

[Kai]

Go for it.

[Drew]

Get the fuck away from me. Ladders are like $300, by the way. Ladders are so expensive. Ladders are the biggest scam we've ever had. And, like, I'm sorry, we need to get down to the bottom of this because I did not understand how expensive ladders were until I was watching my favorite channel on YouTube. Evan and Caitlin, shout out. Evan and Caitlyn. They will never see this because they would never venture on this side of the Internet because they are so fucking normal.

[Kai]

The king. I want to see them.

[Drew]

Queen and king. Yeah, They've kissed before on videos. You're not tapped in the way I am.

[Kai]

No. And yeah, I'm not kidding. I will look at in his laptop and, like, when she's laying in bed the next morning, and I'll look at, like, the channel because she's always on that channel. And every single video is watched all the way through to the very. Every one of them, multiple times.

[Drew]

There's not a video on their channel. I have not watched that.

[Mason]

Are they like 25 minutes?

[Drew]

Yeah, some of them are like an hour. They're like really long. And it takes me, like, they put me, like, that channel puts me to sleep. They are so comforting to me. Like, I understand when people find, like, a comfort creator or comfort content. That is my comfort content. I put that on and I go to sleep. And it takes me days to finish a video because I will, like, fall asleep mid video. I've been watching their last video for the past five days because I just fall asleep at the same part every time. And I always started over. And it's amazing and I love them. But they were talking about ladders. Why are they so fudgeing expensive? Like, I actually. $100 for a ladder, to me, that's ludicrous. Like that.

[Mason]

Oh, it's only 100.

[Drew]

The cheaper ones are 100, and then the really stable good ones are up to like 300. 350.

[Mason]

That makes sense.

[Drew]

The. Is that 350 for, like, engineering?

[Mason]

Yeah, it's engineering.

[Drew]

They're mass producing that shit. Like, why do I. Why does somebody have to pay more for their safety? As somebody with a family who uses ladders all the time in their places of work, why are you pushing up and bumping up the prices so that somebody is safe and doesn't fall to their death when they're already doing a job that is so labor intensive? Like, y' all have me up, and that's my stance on that.

[Kai]

Claps. Claps.

[Drew]

My dad had. Damn. I didn't know it was this lights on. Like, you to need to stop buying these ladders.

[Kai]

Like, no. I knew a kid growing up that his dad fell off a ladder and died when we were in, like, fifth grade.

[Drew]

I think it happens.

[Kai]

Like, he's on my baseball team.

[Drew]

My dad's fallen off a ladder, like, working on a roof so many times. And, like, he'll always call me, like, I'm going to the hospital.

[Kai]

We had a Santa decoration for Christmas that was like, Santa Claus was, like, hanging. Or it was supposed to be my dad dressed as Santa Claus and he was hanging lights across, like, our house. And the ladder Was tipped over and he was just, like, hanging on. We just filled. Like, it looked like a mannequin, like, hanging on, but it looked very real. And, like, I'm not kidding, like, the first day was up, like, five people within the first, like, 30 minutes of it being finished, pulled over and, like, called the cops. And, like, because it looked like a guy was hanging there, I'll try to find a picture of it.

[Drew]

But, yeah, pranked. That's what you get for having empathy.

[Kai]

Literally. Literally. Empathy is, like, technically a bad thing.

[Mason]

What do you mean it's a bad thing?

[Kai]

It's bad to put yourself in other people's shoes.

[Mason]

No, that's like, an important part.

[Drew]

What if they have foot?

[Kai]

That's what I was gonna say. That's a. Literally, I was gonna say because you could get sweaty feet and.

[Mason]

You'Re saying you shouldn't have empathy because you could get sweaty feet.

[Drew]

Well, also, what if your shoes don't.

[Kai]

Put stuff in other shoes?

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

It's like people and putting yourself in other people's shoes and sharing shoes is gross.

[Drew]

That's what I'm saying. Also, if somebody has smaller feet than me, then it's gon be impossible for me to put my feet in there.

[Kai]

Like, how am I going to fit in that?

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Mason]

No, empathy is. It's more than just a figure of speech. It's like.

[Drew]

What is a figure of speech?

[Kai]

A finger of speech.

[Mason]

I didn't say finger of speech.

[Kai]

Why? You're talking about fingering in. Yeah.

[Drew]

Oh, wow. I didn't know about that.

[Kai]

It's actually hella weird.

[Mason]

I. I have no idea how you just did that, but it was impressive.

[Kai]

Well, when I was in seventh grade, I wrote a paper, research paper on assisted suicide, and the teacher never looked at me the same again.

[Drew]

How old were you?

[Kai]

Seventh grade. How old is seventh grade?

[Drew]

That's like 12.

[Mason]

Yeah, 12, I think, might have been.

[Kai]

Earlier because I don't remember being in the middle school.

[Drew]

Like, I didn't tell my birth mom when I was like, six or seven that if I worked in an office, I would kill myself. Like, I'm. I can't. I can't even.

[Kai]

No, it was. It was a fucking vibe. And also, like, it was about this specific clinic in Switzerland. I'm sure there's more now. Maybe it wasn't Switzerland. I can't remember anymore. But it was some European country that.

[Drew]

Like, I think it is Switzerland.

[Kai]

You would pay.

[Drew]

Yeah, because they still do that.

[Kai]

Yeah. You pay, like, thousands and thousands of dollars to just be put to sleep. And I thought it was so fascinating. And I was arguing that it should be a right to assisted suicide when I was in seventh grade and she called my parents and it was tea. They should have known then that I was up. They should have known then that I.

[Drew]

Was not playing crazy.

[Kai]

Also, I was being crazy about that.

[Drew]

Well, you're here, so you're actually not even about.

[Kai]

Well, you can change your reality by thinking thought positive thoughts. Yep. No, that.

[Drew]

With joy.

[Kai]

Dead serious. You can change your reality. You can shift. We are constantly shifting realities, and I mean that very genuinely. Every single time you think a thought, it affects your reality. And so say you're having a bunch of negative thoughts for the past week. Today, try thinking positive. And every time you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts, switch those to positive thoughts and watch your reality literally change. I'm telling you, manifestation is very real. 3, 6, 9. Nikola Tesla method. 3 times in the morning, 3, 6 times in the afternoon, 9 times at night. Writing down your affirmations, we got right, bro.

[Drew]

The problem is I don't. I. I swear to God, I don't think I can think of that many positive things. Like, I know you.

[Kai]

You do one, like, sentence. It's like, I want health and wealth. And you write it three times. Six times, nine.

[Drew]

I was going to say, that's, like, that's not getting done. Yeah, that's just not getting done. One thing about me is I'm gonna. I'm gonna say something negative.

[Kai]

There is not. I was. What is 15, 18 positive things I could say in a day? I genuinely don't think there's, like, no, that is a lie. I'm very grateful for my life. I am very grateful for every single person watching this podcast. I was thinking about that last night. I was like, we don't talk about that. Like, enough, like, how thankful we are to have people that tune in every.

[Drew]

Yeah, we were talking about it last night. I was like, I can't believe we're, like, at a point where I feel, like, satisfied just doing the podcast. And I don't wake up and get scared if people care about me or, like, actually think I'm funny or anything because we have the podcast. So I am grateful for that.

[Kai]

And I'm like, thank you so much for tuning in and changing our lives.

[Drew]

The thing is, I'm very grateful, but I am sad against my own will. But that is changing soon. Hopefully coming soon. New era of my brain chemistry coming soon.

[Kai]

We're putting her on lithium. It's gonna be a vibe.

[Drew]

I'll let Y' all know what I get told? Maybe. Most likely not. Anyways, here's my review for Inside out too. And I meant this with my chest. Like, I. Like, I was laughing, typing this out, but actually meant this. I said, movie magic. Seriously, this movie blows me away. I'm left with no words. I will choose to lead with joy and allow my imagination to run free. And that I've been living on the high of that movie. Like, I. I might watch that movie again because it made me happy. So I just need to find more things that make me happy.

[Mason]

Does the Inside out dad take his shirt off, bro.

[Drew]

I don't give a about him. Like, he literally, like, low key. He should leave the family at this point because I don't care. How about that?

[Kai]

You just said you were gonna lead with joy, and now you're leading with anger.

[Drew]

Oh, y' all are pissing me off. It's hard to lead with joy when you have stupid all around you. Like, it's really hard. No one talks about that. Like, everyone's always like, oh, and he's annoying. She's a blah, blah. Have you ever thought that, like, the Is put on me? Like, the. The idiots in my life just make me so.

[Mason]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Angry.

[Mason]

Yeah. Drew's upset. I get it. I'm super stupid.

[Drew]

So.

[Kai]

Kai likes being degraded. Okay, well, Adam, I love you guys.

[Drew]

Come on.

[Kai]

Like, seriously, Addison Ray, he lit up. Addison Rae has superstar aura, y' all. I'm not kidding. Like, I've seen her out a few times and had a couple conversations with her, and there was this specific moment. We went to this birthday party and no one was fucking dancing on the dance floor, so me and Enya bit the fucking bullet and went to go dance on the dance floor. And then shortly after, Addison and her homie came and joined us on the dance floor, and I just was like, oh, my God, she's so free. She has superstar aura. Like, she will be a star. Count your fucking day. She already is a star. But, like, she. She just has that, like, it quality where I was just, like, looking at her and I was like, like, dude, like, she's so sick.

[Drew]

She. I mean, like, I don't know her personally enough to know this, but she just feels like she has that good brain chemistry, and I'm so jealous of that. Like, I am so envious of that. Like, she seems like such a secure person.

[Kai]

Lock the.

[Drew]

And I am so jealous of that.

[Kai]

She's simply free.

[Drew]

I know she's. She just seems happy. Like, every time I've spoken To her, I'm like, wow, this is like a genuinely sweet and happy person, and I'm so envious of that because I wish. I wish I was happy.

[Kai]

Addison, come on the pod so you can teach us your ways.

[Drew]

I don't think she doesn't want to come after a day like that.

[Mason]

I don't know if I told you this, but I went to the Brat concert, and she performed one of the songs. She has a song with Charlie xcx. And I was at the concert, and I saw it live.

[Kai]

She was screaming. Yeah, she was screaming because she saw you. You know, Addison Rae fucking screamed on that stage because she looked at you.

[Mason]

She didn't.

[Kai]

She was terrified, Kai.

[Mason]

No, she didn't. That's a part of the song.

[Drew]

It's been a part of the studio that day, too. I'm assuming you were like, I was in the studio. You were like, the runner. You're like, oh, do you want cookies, water, or anything?

[Mason]

No, I was.

[Drew]

And you came in.

[Mason]

I was actually the muse.

[Kai]

The opposite of the muse.

[Mason]

I'm a muse for a lot of powerful women. Whoa. I am. It's true.

[Drew]

Well, you are scared of women.

[Mason]

I can be both.

[Drew]

Duality of man.

[Kai]

I can be. Oh, wait, I can be violent. Okay.

[Drew]

If y' all actually want to know where my. My brain. That.

[Kai]

Anything you like.

[Drew]

Okay, so I have this. I wrote this the other day.

[Kai]

Oh, my God.

[Drew]

And I will insert it, but it says, duality of man. About to sound insane. So I should warn you, if I. This was for my close friends, I didn't end up posting it because I was like, okay, I need to, like, go touch grass. Like, I. I don't want. I don't want my friends to actually think I'm crazy. I'm about to sound insane. So I should warn you, if I do sound like I'm losing it, I probably am. And then I said, had such a roller coaster of emotions. Emotions just now where I was so present that I found myself looking around this Uber's car and thinking about how everything around me is real and I can actually touch it with my hands. Which then left me to a very intense thought about the fact that the man driving is indeed alive. And then I wondered if he ever thinks about how his job possibly saves lives on a daily basis when someone decides to Uber instead of driving under the influence. And I needed to know the stats. And I was like, wow, Ubers are literally so undervalued. They're actually so important to then come to the realization that my head Kept slamming into my seat because my driver is absolutely hauling ass. Ass going double the speed limit and then slamming on his brakes every light and swerving around every car insight. And then I have a picture of him going 44 and a 25. And it's a picture of stats that say rideshare services like Uber have led to a 6.1 decrease in drunk driving accidents, which is actually very interesting. But, yeah, I went from being, like, extremely grateful and like, wow, this is amazing, to fearing for my life and extremely car sick, because I'm not kidding. I have not hit my head on the back of a car. Also, the newer cars, like, something about them, like, y' all need to get the suspension right because they are so wrong. Why am I sticking every car now?

[Kai]

Like, time I'm in a Tesla, the suspension literally makes me want to die myself.

[Drew]

Being in the backseat of a Tesla is like, literally a death sentence to me. Like, it is going to make me sick.

[Kai]

I'm going to be sick. I'm going to be.

[Drew]

That's where my brain is at. I'm not kidding. Sitting in that car, I was looking at everything. And so I don't know if I think this is, like, a normal thought, but sometimes I find myself looking at somebody and I'm. I'm trying to. Like, it feels like I'm trying to ground myself, but I'll be looking out the window of a car or just, like, walking around and looking at people, and I'll look at a person, and in my head, I'm like, okay, I know that person is real. Like, they are definitely real. I know they have feelings. I know, whatever. But the thing that makes me really connect to another person is I think about, like, if they touched this, they would feel exactly what my hand is feeling.

[Kai]

I think about that.

[Drew]

They, like, like, yeah, when they wet their hands, like. Like, they feel, like, the exact same feeling. Like, unless you have nerve damage or I don't know. I'm sure there are people actually who don't. But, like, I was thinking that in the car, I was like, wow, so many people have sat in this seat and felt exactly what I feel like right now and, like, touching the door. And they've also looked at the door and, like, analyzed for, like, the door.

[Kai]

Like, think about this. Think about this. Every human being has touched their genitals and then touched the doorknob. And you've touched a doorknob that genital hands have touched.

[Drew]

Well, that's why I'm scared of you. And I wash my hands all the time. And when I'm in a public bathroom especially, I use paper towel to open the door. Even in our house, sometimes, like, I'll use the towel that's on the door and, like, grab the handle because I get scared.

[Kai]

When I was super young, I remember, like, freaking out to my science teacher, talking about how we all taste and see the same colors and da, da, da, da, da. And he was like, I mean, that's not necessarily true. Like, you could see different from every single person in the world, but since it's your reality and how you perceive reality, it's normal to you. And I was just like, whoa. Like, we all do perceive this world in different ways.

[Drew]

Yeah. I think that's why I always, like, think about touch. Because when I think about taste, I'm like, people have such specific standards for what they think tastes good and doesn't taste.

[Kai]

The Temu Fortnite cartoon start cured my cilantro advertion.

[Drew]

I would actually love a Fortnite vape.

[Kai]

Y' all see all the pesticides inside of them now?

[Drew]

The vapes?

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Or the carts.

[Kai]

The carts.

[Drew]

Oh, yeah. But there's definitely pesticides in a vape, too, bro.

[Kai]

This is, like, straight up. We're smoking cybernetics and carbonation.

[Drew]

Like, yeah.

[Kai]

What did I say the other day? What tastes like vapes?

[Drew]

Oh, we were eating something, I think. Oh, my God. No, wait. We had to think.

[Kai]

I'm gonna freak out.

[Drew]

Oh, no. We were talking about melons.

[Kai]

Like, oh, cantaloupe. Cantaloupe tastes like vapes, bro. Like, it literally tastes like.

[Drew]

It really does.

[Mason]

They just have a vape that's flavored like a watermelon.

[Drew]

No, no, no, not watermelon. Cantaloupe specifically, tastes like. And we were saying.

[Kai]

He flipped me off.

[Drew]

Go home. And you're not being paid for the rest of the day. Go home. Actually, you're not being paid for today at all. Go home.

[Kai]

And Kai came.

[Mason]

I know.

[Kai]

I shut down.

[Mason]

I pushed it too far.

[Kai]

Lower the quality of Kai. Cam.

[Mason]

No, no, no. It just wanna. We just fixed it.

[Drew]

But yeah, we were saying, like, putting cantaloupe on a fruit tray is so fucking disrespectful. Nobody eats that shit for the flies.

[Kai]

To lay their fucking larva and to sweat and make juice on the bottom of the plate. Like, it's horrible. Cantaloupe juice. Like, I hate it. I hate cantaloupe.

[Drew]

It tastes so nasty. I. Or like.

[Kai]

But I eat it.

[Drew]

The thing. Yeah. Because, like, I was gonna say it tastes so nasty, but it's not even that it tastes nasty. It just has such a specific taste that I'm never like, I need that right now. Like, because if it's around and I'm like, fuck, I'll just eat it.

[Kai]

But I don't think there's been a day of my life that I haven't thought about SpongeBob in the last 25 years. Like, he is so like. Or even reference something from spongebob. Like.

[Drew]

Oh, I think I literally did in the beginning of the episode. I was like in north and I.

[Kai]

Said I need it.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Like it's so. Yeah, fishy. Fishy too. Fuck. I'm not playing like anything.

[Drew]

We need to rewatch SpongeBob.

[Kai]

I know. It's like a banger. And they need to re or release a new yellow character. Cuz it's been long enough. Like you've seen that meme graphic.

[Drew]

Simpsons.

[Kai]

Yeah, the Simpsons. SpongeBob.

[Drew]

Can't think of any others.

[Kai]

Minions. There's a bunch of yellow characters.

[Drew]

Technically the new one.

[Kai]

But I'm saying past Minions, like we.

[Drew]

Need to release the Minions will never sit right with me. I think it's just like too. It was like past when we were going to the movies.

[Kai]

Winnie the Pooh, Sweetie, Big Bird, Homer Simpson, Charlie Brown.

[Drew]

But I loved Eeyore because I felt like Eeyore understood me. And it was because Eeyore wanted to kill himself.

[Kai]

Jake the Dog, Flounder, Jake the Dog and Finn the Human.

[Drew]

I loved Adventure Time. Did you watch it when it was on tv?

[Kai]

Nope. I never. I still have only watched like the first nine episodes. And I think, think what I try, I cannot, I cannot get. And everybody that watches it and has watched it is like, Drew, that is like a show made for you. It is perfect. It is like designed for your brain. And I just cannot get through it.

[Drew]

I will say I watched it when I was younger and it was like airing on tv. I don't think I would re watch it because it's like, I don't need that right now. But a cartoon I still do watch is the Misadventures of Flapjack Back. Because that is still funny to me. Like, I'm sorry. That is so funny because it's so weird and scary and I don't understand why I liked it so much. But I also do. I would re watch Chowder and I also watched.

[Kai]

I think they're releasing a new season. You watch Stephen, I was a Steven Universe and you're telling me you don't know what scissoring is and you watch Steven Universe.

[Drew]

What? No, Never. I couldn't even imagine putting.

[Kai]

Okay, well, we had people come into our house, and every time they come into our house, they go into my room and we're. And when they're in my fucking room, they hide this specific Harry Potter toy. I think they think it's demonic or something, because Orion also got us. Got us holy water from the Vatican. And I have it on display. And I've blessed my bed. I don't know how the I'm using it, but I've spritzed it on my bed before because I'm like, girl, like anything. Please, Please, just give me hope. Please, I'm begging you. Any good luck, please. And I kind of had it hidden in between my perfumes. Not on purpose, just on accident. And I had the card, and they. They hid my Harry Potter toy. I think they think it's like a demon or something because they threw, like, launched it behind the plants in my corner, and it's always back there when they leave. And then they put the holy water on display in front of my 3D printer. They put the card up, and they put the holy water bottle up. And they were like, see, this is the. This is the right path. Stay away from that Harry Potter demon.

[Drew]

Yeah, they do, like, every time, because I have the Pope bookmark and, like, the little card that Orion got us when she was in, was it Rome? Yeah. And they do the same thing with my bookmark because I'll have it. But it's annoying because they'll, like. It'll be peeking out of a book, and they'll sometimes just take it out. And I'm like, why would you do that? Like, I was reading that book.

[Kai]

Yeah, literally.

[Drew]

Also, I stink right now, if anybody was wondering. It's so hot. And I forgot to put on deodorant, and I stink.

[Kai]

I haven't put on deodorant in, like, four. Four weeks, and I haven't showered in, like, two. I haven't wiped my ass in, like, eight years.

[Drew]

Oh, my God. You're back to that.

[Kai]

I like the crust.

[Mason]

Yeah, I like it, too.

[Kai]

I've been microdosing the sun recently. I'm serious. Like, every morning. And every time I nap, the sun is beaming on my skin. And I for sure have melanoma brewing in my body because I get sunburned when I'm laying in my bed. I literally get a sunburn when I'm in bed. It's crazy. Every morning I'm like, I have to go to sleep with Sunscreen on or some because like I get cooked alive. Like I, I try to nap like once a day and my nap yesterday was the most miserable I've ever been in my life. Like dripping. I sweat from my face a lot. So my face was like dripping sweat, but also my entire body. Like if I had gotten out of bed, there would have been like a stain of sweat where I was laying because it was so hot I couldn't even fall asleep. Bro, it was horrible.

[Drew]

You need to get curtains.

[Kai]

I know, I really do. But I'm like, also like that house. I want to leave so bad. Like, I hate that. I hate it, I hate it, I.

[Drew]

Hate it, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.

[Kai]

Also, don't forget to apologize to the universe. She's listening. She truly is listening at all moments of the day.

[Mason]

Okay, but what if you've never done anything like, wrong?

[Kai]

I mean, even if you have a cocky thought, you should apologize.

[Drew]

Hey, you know, you might find that the societal ideas of right and wrong are so skewed. And to think that you were leading your life only making the right decisions instead of bad decisions is very toxic for your mental health because you need both good and bad to find balance.

[Kai]

That's why I'm scared of fudgeing heaven, bro. It's going to be so painful not having any bad happen to you, for real.

[Drew]

The thing is, I think I find so much joy in complaining.

[Kai]

Like, it's like a prison. It's literally like a prison. I'm telling you, it's. It freaks me the out.

[Mason]

But what if they thought about that for heaven?

[Kai]

I better be like high on a Percocet every day. I'm up there with no tolerance building up.

[Mason]

What if like the strain of happiness and satisfaction you feel is like substantial and nuanced?

[Drew]

Honestly, I will say that's the kind of happiness and joy and laughter I feel from being high. That sounds lit. Because even when I'm high and I'm really happy, that's what I'm saying. Every like 40 minutes, there's a moment where I'm like, I'm being crazy. I'm so high and I'm scaring everybody and everybody knows that I'm high, I'm crazy. And then those two minutes pass and I'm like, woohoo. It doesn't even matter. I'm so crazy. And then I go back to being happy. So if that's what heaven is like, honestly, I'll take like 40 minutes throughout my 24 hours of being scared.

[Kai]

You Know what? I hope heaven is. Is like a place on earth with you. Heaven is a place on earth with you.

[Drew]

Well, for the things you've done in this lifetime, I fear you won't be going to heaven.

[Kai]

That's okay, because I have you here now.

[Drew]

Okay.

[Mason]

It's actually okay because I have a plus one.

[Kai]

Oh, he has a Zach be a veto to heaven. Yeah, the Zach be a veto. They let me. They let me into heaven because I had the zag Beavito. The Zach be Zachiana Grande. Okay. Last thing I want to talk about is I want to be swaddled like a baby. I want someone to, like, adult swaddle me, and then I want them to, like, roll the fart out of my tummy with my legs. Like, I want all of that done.

[Drew]

Like, not even on some infantilization.

[Kai]

Yeah. Not even some creepy.

[Drew]

I saw this video of this girl with her baby on her lap going like this with her baby, and I was like, that would feel so good. Like, I would do anything if I could shrink down and, like, be swaddled around and carried like a baby. I feel like it would do exactly what, like, a massage would do for me, but better because it would be coming from love. I think I just want love.

[Mason]

Yeah.

[Drew]

I've never got the joy of being a child. I've always been expected to be an adult. And it's hurting.

[Kai]

It's hurting in your adult life.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

I'm sorry, but I don't really give a.

[Drew]

Honestly, this is just my life. My life's a joke. Actually, my life is pretty awesome.

[Kai]

So, literally, you have a top.03% life.

[Drew]

Yeah, but nobody even knows what I.

[Kai]

Drew. Side up corner. Oh, y' all thought I was gonna do stand up. Y' all thought I was gonna do.

[Drew]

My God. Go. Yeah, sorry.

[Kai]

Vibrator died. Going to fart with a pair of skinny jeans on instead.

[Drew]

Or you could just play Fortnite. There's one part in Fortnite that the control shake. The controller shakes, like, violently. You could just do that.

[Kai]

I. I would rather do that. By the time you get what I'm on, I'm on something else. That's just deep. Actually, that's just a factual statement.

[Mason]

That's really deep.

[Kai]

I can go without sex, but that damn Dr. Pepper is a whole different story.

[Mason]

I swear you said this. I feel like for the last three weeks, you've alluded to Dr. Pepper being really important.

[Kai]

No, I'm. I can be asexual, but I cannot be a Dr. Pepper. A little.

[Drew]

Wait, wait, without Dr. That old tick tock where the girl was like, she called herself a Coca Cola or something. It was the girl who was obsessed with Coca Cola.

[Kai]

Oh, you know what I'm talking about, dude. That's on the tip of my tongue.

[Drew]

I'm on the tip of your tongue.

[Kai]

Hey, yo, Coca Cola. It's not Coca Cola bottle. What is that? My Pepsi tastes like cherry cola. My Pepsi tastes like cherry.

[Drew]

Y' all know what we're talking about. Let us know. It's a girl who's obsessed with Coca Cola and she kept making videos about it.

[Kai]

It's like. It's almost like body is tea. Like, no, it's Coca Cola or something like that. It's like, along those lines.

[Drew]

Keep going. I'm gonna try and find it. I'm gonna do my best.

[Kai]

What is it? It's like, body is tea.

[Drew]

So every is, like, talking about some Diet Coke. No, this girl was real. She was true to herself and she believed in regular Coca Cola.

[Kai]

Y' all need to chill the fuck out with that Diet Coke shit. I saw. Actually, I cannot talk shit about this because I literally flew, like, 10,000 Slim Jims across the country and TSA freaked the fuck out and thought I was carrying bombs, but it was a bunch of Slim Jims. But I saw someone literally carrying enough Diet Coke to supply them for two weeks, and they drink 10 cans of diet Coke a day. Day. And I was like, there's no way. I was like, that's what she claimed. I was like, you are out of your mind. But her suitcase, I mean, it was like. It was the most Diet Coke I've ever seen in my life.

[Mason]

What is up with Diet Coke?

[Drew]

I feel like that tastes like ass.

[Mason]

It has, like, a cult following, though.

[Kai]

Like, if there's people, it's a personality trait. It's identity policy.

[Drew]

I'm not kidding. It is literally Ed culture manifesting into, like, weird ideologies. And I. I've always felt that about. About Diet Coke is like, to me, Diet Coke is just Ed culture. And I'm like, that doesn't taste good. Literally, let yourself be free. Let your body have what it wants. Free yourself.

[Kai]

Like, diet Diet Coke. More like can. Can I get a Diet Coke? More like, can I get a Diet.

[Drew]

Okay, keep going.

[Kai]

Because you're diet.

[Mason]

Would that be a small one or.

[Kai]

Would it be, like, yours?

[Mason]

Okay, because it's good for you.

[Kai]

No, because it has aspartame and it's borderline carcinogenic.

[Mason]

Okay, you're saying there's sugar, alcohols in My penis.

[Drew]

I mean, soda in general is not good for you, but I actually don't give a. Because y' all see me puff on this vape every five minutes on this.

[Kai]

And you know what's crazy is I'm gonna live longer than unfortunately, I'm gonna live longer than every single person.

[Drew]

It's like the cat theory. I'm gonna outlive everybody, feed my cat such high, like, whatever end cat food. But the cows I live the longest are the ones that are eating like, from a butt. Like. Like hand. Like the whiskers. Whatever the it is.

[Kai]

Canned whis. Canned cat whiskers.

[Drew]

Yeah, like that. That like random from the gas station. And I'm sitting here giving, like, aul. Like prime food.

[Kai]

Logan Paul. Prime energy drink for food. No, please, please. No, that look real. It was, ah, movie magic. Movie magic, y' all. But what were we saying? Diet Coke. Diet cock. Something popped in my head. Oh. Have you ever actually looked at like a soda in its eye and like, really, like, took in like, what you're consuming? Because it's literally like swamp water. And then have you ever, like, tasted the flavors of like, Coke? Because it is rancid. It's almost. It almost tastes like black liquor.

[Drew]

Well, no, I don't have that because I don't drink flat Coke. You drink flat Coke, so you're getting all the notes that are scary. I'm drinking it when it's crisp and cold as and it's burning the back of my throat. And it almost feels. When you think about it, it's almost like a really good hit of a puff bar. Like it does the same thing to my body. And that's why Coke puff. No, because I'm not disgusting.

[Kai]

We ate Coca Cola. Oh, my God.

[Drew]

We ate Coca Cola.

[Kai]

I can't believe I forgot this. You have all. Last thing before we get into media. I finally got the Swedish candy bon bons and it was so divine. It was so delicious. I wish I made a little vlog out of it. But I'm 26 years old and the grown ass man with a mustache, so I will not be vlogging. But it was so yummers. It was Yummersville.

[Drew]

There is something funny about like a grown ass man with a mustache vlogging. Here's what I do in my day.

[Kai]

Day.

[Drew]

Welcome to my what I eat in a day. I'm like, oh, but that should like.

[Kai]

That's so Silver Lake coated media of the week.

[Drew]

Eek, eek.

[Kai]

Okay, so mine is Triple R. Go check out that movie. It's a masterpiece. 4.5 to 5 out of 10 or out of 5 stars. Perfect Ren Fair docu series by. What is his name? Like Lance Oppenheimer or some like that. I swear to God, he is our Werner Herzog. What he is doing to documentary has never been done before. It is earth shattering groundbreaking and it's. It feels like he is like directing a movie, but it's a documentary. Like the way it looks, the way it feels, the way it runs. It's like I saw Werner Herzog in an interview talking about how like to how he makes his documentaries like almost have a story. And he was saying. Yeah, he was saying that like he almost goes into the documentary with like a story that. With the story that he once lined out. And so what he does is when he's like talking to the people he's interviewing, he's like, okay, now deliver it like you're sad. Okay, now deliver that line like you're angry. Now deliver that line like da da da da. And he gets a bunch of takes from these like random people so he can go back in the edit later and like edit the story together with their emotions. And it feels like this Oppenheimer dude is doing that in a way, except way more technical. And it's really cool. But that documentary is so sick. Then he did Sperm World and then he did one about that. That old folks home that's like a.

[Mason]

Documentary about your life. Life.

[Drew]

You asked for a. You're so good at a wet fart. It's crazy. Well, my media of the week is inside out too.

[Kai]

Inside out. True. More like inside out. Drew Kai got me bent. Inside out. He bent me the over and turned my guts around. Hey.

[Mason]

It'S true. Yeah.

[Kai]

Frick.

[Drew]

Have y' all ever heard of self respect?

[Kai]

No.

[Drew]

Yeah, I can tell. Oblivious by Aztec Camera Speed trials Elliot Smith. Every day the C and K. Cake.

[Kai]

Cake, cake, cake, cake. And I want to lick the icing off.

[Drew]

Honestly. Honestly, I think that's it. Yeah. Oh, I saw Todd Rudgren. It was amazing. Stood up and God said by him are really good and I think you know. Is that the song? Yeah. So good. You someone else.

[Kai]

Mine is Cold Little Heart by Michael Kawanuka. Kiwanuka. I just like the little beat in the beginning of that song and that's the only songs that I got.

[Drew]

All right, bye. Damn.

[Kai]

And you'd be like.

[Ryan Seacrest]

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