Podcasters Are Essential Workers. Change Our Minds

Summary

Emergency Intercom: "Podcasters Are Essential Workers. Change Our Minds"

Release Date: September 30, 2022
Hosts: Enya Umanzor (Kai) and Drew Phillips
Produced by: iHeartPodcasts

---

Overview

In the episode titled "Podcasters Are Essential Workers. Change Our Minds," hosts Kai and Drew engage in their signature comedic banter, addressing personal rumors, sharing humorous anecdotes, and delving into a variety of lighthearted topics. The conversation is marked by candid exchanges, playful teasing, and moments of self-deprecation, all delivered with the hosts' unique chemistry.

---

1. Addressing Personal Rumors and Clearing the Air

The episode kicks off with Kai and Drew addressing swirling rumors about Kai's personal life. They confront false claims head-on, emphasizing the importance of authenticity and transparency.

• Kai: "Everything is not real. I don't even know why people would say I have a small penis. But it's." [00:54]
• Drew: "We’re just here to clear that rumor." [01:50]

This segment sets a candid tone, showcasing the hosts' willingness to tackle uncomfortable topics with humor.

---

2. Playful Host Dynamics and Teasing

Kai and Drew engage in playful banter, teasing each other about various personal attributes and experiences. Their dynamic is marked by quick-witted exchanges and mutual ribbing.

• Drew: "I'll give credit or like not credit, but I'll give leeway because I think a lot of rumors start as a joke." [01:18]
• Kai: "Keep my name out of your mouth." [01:22]
• Drew: "If you had a smaller head, bitch, people would make fun of you." [02:34]

These interactions highlight the hosts' chemistry and their ability to navigate personal jabs with humor.

---

3. Adventures and Misadventures at Water Parks

A significant portion of the episode revolves around the hosts' experiences at water parks, specifically focusing on the dangers and humorous incidents associated with wave pools.

• Kai: "Wave pools are like the most diabolic... everybody that I had know that's been in a wave pool has had a near-death experience." [07:55]
• Drew: "How are they? They are so gnarly." [08:01]

They recount stories of accidents, the overwhelming nature of large wave pools, and the unsanitary conditions often found in such recreational areas.

• Kai: "There's too much piss and chlorine. If you can smell chlorine, that's a bad sign. Don't get in that pool." [11:38]
• Drew: "I'm going to never take my kid to a water park." [16:32]

These anecdotes are delivered with a mix of horror and humor, painting a vivid picture of their tumultuous water park experiences.

---

4. Health Struggles and Hygiene Habits

Drew opens up about recent health issues, including bronchitis and the impact of his hygiene habits on his well-being. This segment blends personal vulnerability with comedic relief.

• Drew: "Last episode I talked about how I was sick and now I have bronchitis." [05:27]
• Kai: "I haven't been sick in like two months because I haven't been sipping from your hydro flask." [06:33]
• Drew: "My sickness evolved into bronchitis, and then I got my period." [20:11]

The discussion transitions into a humorous take on hygiene practices, such as the use of hydro flasks and the comedic mishaps associated with personal cleanliness.

---

5. Childhood Memories and Family Interactions

Kai shares a poignant childhood memory about receiving a Care Bear toy, which was met with ridicule from his family, leading to long-term self-esteem issues.

• Kai: "I got a customized Care Bear... everyone made fun of me for being excited about it. So then I shut that side down for years." [20:45]
• Drew: "Now to heal your inner child, you have Grindr." [21:36]

This reflection highlights the lasting impact of childhood experiences on personal identity, delivered through the hosts' characteristic humor.

---

6. Dreams and Personal Reflections

The conversation takes a surreal turn as Kai and Drew discuss their dreams, including sex dreams involving each other and another group member, Orion. This segment blends introspection with comedic absurdity.

• Kai: "I have this thing where if I have a sex dream with someone that's in my personal life, I have to tell them." [44:16]
• Drew: "I've only had sex dreams about two people in the group, and it's Orion and Drew. And Drew's was horrifying." [45:29]

The hosts navigate these personal topics with a mix of embarrassment and laughter, enhancing the episode's relatability and humor.

---

7. Movie Reviews: "Barbarian" and "Fire of Love"

Towards the latter part of the episode, Kai and Drew delve into their recent movie outings, reviewing "Barbarian" and the documentary "Fire of Love."

• Kai: "Barbarian is fucking a masterpiece. It's like, terrifying and hilarious." [50:34]
• Drew: "Fire of Love... best documentary ever. Best soundtrack ever." [53:18]

They praise both films for their unique qualities, discussing themes, soundtracks, and personal favorite moments, providing listeners with genuine recommendations wrapped in their comedic commentary.

---

8. Concluding Remarks and Final Banter

As the episode wraps up, the hosts continue their playful interactions, teasing each other and sharing lighthearted final thoughts.

• Kai: "I hope you enjoyed and loved and had a blast... you're pretty." [58:55]
• Drew: "And if I've met you, I hate you. I'm kidding." [58:55]

These closing remarks reinforce the hosts' camaraderie and leave listeners with a sense of warmth and amusement.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Kai: "I just have to give my everything, and all you do is laugh." [32:38]
• Drew: "You are not him." [35:39]
• Orion: "It's written by the victorious." [25:48]
• Kai: "Cheaters... deserve to be injured." [49:17]
• Drew: "Volcanoes are one of our personalities." [53:04]

---

Conclusion

"Podcasters Are Essential Workers. Change Our Minds" showcases Kai and Drew's ability to blend humor with personal storytelling seamlessly. From debunking rumors to sharing childhood memories and movie critiques, the episode offers a multifaceted look into the hosts' lives, all while maintaining an entertaining and engaging atmosphere. Listeners are treated to a genuine and humorous exploration of friendship, personal growth, and the everyday antics that make "Emergency Intercom" a beloved comedic podcast.

Transcript

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and safeway. Now through June 24th. Score hot summer savings and earn four times the points. Look for in store tags on items like Kinder Bueno, Cheez It Crackers, Oscar Mayer Lunchables, and Just Bear chicken bites. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event long savings. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in store or online for easy drive up and go pickup or delivery subject to availability restrictions apply. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details.

[Drew]

Welcome to this episode of Emergency Intercom. We have a lot to talk about today.

[Kai]

Like, we just have to clear.

[Drew]

Clear the air.

[Kai]

Just like really get into it. I'm sure you've seen all the. The rumors being spread. The rumors, the lies real. Everything is not real. I don't even know why people would say I have a small penis. But it's.

[Drew]

I know. And the thing is, I think a lot of people like to like.

[Kai]

So, like you can see, you can see right now that I don't.

[Drew]

Because. Okay, like I would. I'll give credit or like not credit, but I'll give leeway because I think a lot of rumors start as a joke. So it's like someone says a joke and then somebody who is a fucking hating ass, cunt, bitch, no life loser.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Who has a pre meditated negative bias towards my friend is like, oh, so he does have a small wiener.

[Kai]

You don't know me. Yeah, that's the thing is you don't know me. You never will know me. So why are you talking about me? Keep my name out of your mouth.

[Drew]

Exactly. Yeah. So we're just here to clear that rumor.

[Kai]

And that's the episode.

[Drew]

Thank you guys so much. That's honestly all we have the energy to talk about because it's just been like draining both of us.

[Kai]

Yeah. And I'm. Yeah, I'm sorry to you. You should be for being just an idiot.

[Drew]

Oh, that's not what I was expecting because I just put my fucking life on the line to fucking defend you. I just put my life on the line. I just put my well being and my. I just put my livelihood on the line.

[Kai]

This hat makes my head look so big.

[Drew]

I got bad news.

[Kai]

Don't even say it's the head. I can't. I have a ginormous head.

[Drew]

You do not have a ginormous head. Your head is proportionate to your body.

[Kai]

No, no, no.

[Drew]

If you had a smaller head, bitch, people would make fun of you. I wish I had Beetlejuice. Like, you know, in Beetlejuice. The small head. That's what you would get called if you had a smaller head.

[Kai]

No, I wish my head was like a. A quarter of an inch. Just smaller in circumference because I would be more comfortable.

[Drew]

That's what I. Literally how I feel about myself.

[Kai]

Wait, someone needs to invent that. Actually, it's like a head. Yes.

[Drew]

Surgery.

[Kai]

Kai has said it before. Like a brain shrinking surgery. Head shrinking surgery. We need this. We need this for the big head.

[Orion]

That was real. That's something that I got.

[Kai]

Shut the up. It was not real. Was it real for real?

[Orion]

It was real. It was cuz I was too smart.

[Drew]

Well, you got to go get another one. I also like how much you're still, like, able to talk.

[Orion]

I also want to address some rumors.

[Drew]

Oh, my God.

[Orion]

About me having a huge.

[Drew]

Okay.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

So. Yeah, Kai's back. Oh, you were probably wondering who's interrupting. It's Kai. Yeah, Kai's back. Yeah, he's back. Kai, you were gone for like, two episodes.

[Orion]

No, we did a zoom and then. Oh, no, I guess two.

[Kai]

Because.

[Drew]

Yeah, because Kai just weren't in the forest. His. His work.

[Kai]

You weren't in the forest about y' all.

[Drew]

Yeah, keep that in mind. He does not care.

[Orion]

Yeah, I. I was in Mexico partying with Dua Lipa, looking very cool and normal.

[Drew]

Dude, I'm sorry, Kai, but that video.

[Kai]

When that came up on the TikTok for you page. Kai, we watched it on the big tv.

[Orion]

I'm sure.

[Drew]

I.

[Orion]

No, I saw it and I was like. Like, I'm done.

[Kai]

I'm gonna get bodied. Dude.

[Drew]

I. Like, this is strike one. That was strike one.

[Orion]

Like that video was. I got destroyed.

[Kai]

I.

[Orion]

You know what's crazy too? That was right before a huge disco ball almost landed on Dua Lipa. Actually, I'm not joking. There was an earthquake. Like, maybe a minute.

[Kai]

I saw that on your story. There was like a nine point.

[Drew]

Oh, wait, that happened while y' all were there?

[Orion]

Yeah, I was like, making her laugh and shit. And then.

[Kai]

Okay, my. Like, you are such a. You are such a lie. The earthquake didn't even happen. That happened on, like, the ninth.

[Orion]

How do I fake an earthquake?

[Kai]

I don't know.

[Orion]

That's an assquake.

[Drew]

Okay.

[Kai]

Anyways, I was making Dua Lipa laugh so much that her ass was, like, clapping and shaking the earth. And then the disco ball almost fell.

[Orion]

Okay. Yes.

[Drew]

Why? Why? Why does it have to go there?

[Kai]

Because I'm a straight man and I like fucking ass and Boobs.

[Orion]

And also that is what happened.

[Kai]

I like ass and boobs.

[Drew]

I was about to say, like you moving your head, you're like. Because I'm straight. Like. But yeah. What? There was something we were going to talk about on the podcast and I started talking about it and then I was like, I should shut up. And I don't remember.

[Kai]

Well, I have everything written down. Ever.

[Drew]

Oh, the thing I was going to say is because I talked about hydro flasks and like how I don't wash mine.

[Kai]

Nasty.

[Drew]

Last episode I talked about how I was sick and now I have bronchitis.

[Kai]

That's worse than not washing your bed sheets, not washing your hydro flasks.

[Drew]

Okay, no, see, because now what you're doing is you're bringing something in that you feel personally like, yes, ashamed of to battle me and like, exactly. No, it is not because my hydro flask, it's just like my clean mouth. Cuz I wash my teeth very often. Actually, I have been washing the top.

[Kai]

Of it and muck.

[Drew]

And girl, you run around outside and then get home and get in your dirty little sheets. Like that is so I'm going to.

[Kai]

Record it next time cuz I don't care. I like the way I smell when I come inside from the outside.

[Drew]

Anyway, yeah, I was thinking, because I've just been using my hydro floss the last week and I was like, oh, this is probably why I got bronchitis, is because I've just been collecting my flu germs on my top and then sipping on it like a big baby bottle and then I put it in the fridge and usually I'm good about it. Usually I don't use a hydro flask while I'm sick because of that. But I didn't think about it.

[Kai]

Ironically enough, I haven't been sick in like two months and it's because I haven't used your hydro flask. I just haven't been sipping from it and for some reason I haven't gotten sick. But when I start.

[Drew]

So what you're saying is you have a friend who cares about you and builds your immunity. See other friends, they're building. They're building businesses. Are you building their immunity? Think about that. We're building businesses and immunity.

[Orion]

D. Yeah, that's like when Drew gave me gonorrhea. I think I think about it in that way where I'm like, I'm stronger now.

[Kai]

You cannot be saying that.

[Drew]

Like, not you.

[Kai]

You can't just admit it was.

[Orion]

What can I say?

[Kai]

So you're just.

[Drew]

You're literally like, okay, you're outing his history, like his sexually transmitted disease.

[Orion]

It's also my history. It's also my history.

[Kai]

His story. His story. His story. My story.

[Drew]

But yeah, I thought about that today.

[Kai]

Well, the. I've been thinking about that, actually. I've been thinking about that actually.

[Drew]

A lot of people, the more places come out with chicken sandwiches.

[Kai]

Sandwiches.

[Drew]

I've been thinking about that.

[Kai]

Well, I've been thinking about wave pools, like at Hurricane Harbor a lot.

[Drew]

Oh, like, like at water parks.

[Kai]

How does those exist? Those are like the most diabolic.

[Orion]

I missed you guys. I swear to God.

[Drew]

This is crazy.

[Kai]

You've been hanging out with normal pill people for so long that this is like jarring. No, but think about a wave pool, right? Thinking those are the most dangerous things in the world. Like, how are they? Like, everybody that I had know that's been in a wave pool has had a near death experience. Anyone? Like, I remember when I was like seven years old, I also, I've been doing this thing where I speak with or I use my hands with conviction. Like I move them with conviction. And it's an alpha thing. So as I'm like, are you sure.

[Drew]

It'S not like, like, like a bit of a flamboyant thing?

[Kai]

It's like, it's a bit.

[Drew]

Or are you transitioning from like moving your hands like this to like this sleep?

[Kai]

When I open.

[Drew]

Is that a threat?

[Kai]

I want you to live, so do that. But yeah, when I was like seven years old, I like was in a fucking wave pool. And you know how there's like that floating buoy line, like right before all the mechanics? Well, like, I, me and my friends thought it was like really funny to like go on the other side of it and like swim up and then swim down and like just do it as many times before getting like, caught. And one time I went under and went over to it and then I went back under and I could not get back up for some reason. I literally think it was like either like the waves or something where I was like pressing down on me too much and I literally could not get up and I had to be saved by a fucking lifeguard because that is, I was trapped underwater and it was like, it was like sucking me in and then pushing me back, but I couldn't swim up because it was already sucking me in again. It was, it's terrifying. It's really fucking dangerous. And like, those are one of their fun as fuck, but like, those are one of those things that will look back on and be like, why the fuck did we do that?

[Drew]

Did you go to water parks a lot?

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

You watched Class Action park, right?

[Kai]

Oh, yeah, dude.

[Drew]

Their thing about the.

[Kai]

Wait, the Johnny Knoxville one?

[Drew]

No, the, like, documentary.

[Kai]

I've probably seen clips of it on YouTube.

[Drew]

Oh, you need to watch that because, like, one of the things they talk about. Do you mind if I, like, talk about it? One of the things they talk about is their wave pool and how literally, like, they would put, like, new lifeguards on there or lifeguards who did something bad there as punishment, because you were going to have to jump in every few minutes, and you were 100% going to have to basically, like, retrieve somebody who had drowned or, like. And they would have to stop the wave pool every 15 minutes to see if a body was under. Because it was, like, so gnarly. And it was like.

[Kai]

That's what I'm saying. Yeah.

[Orion]

Well, literally, one kid died at my.

[Kai]

Water park in the way.

[Orion]

It wasn't the wave pool. I think it was, like, at the bottom of the slide, but there were just so many people that he literally couldn't get to the surface.

[Kai]

Oh, hell, no. Yeah, dude. Wave or water parks are gnarly. Like, I see more people. Like, there was, like, that one dude who, like, it was like that water slide where you rode the raft up and down the hills, and, like, he, like, got too much momentum and didn't stop. Like, the wheels didn't stop him before getting to the top. And, like, he just ramped up and was literally decapitated. And his, like, little brother was in the raft with him, and. And, like, just. They got to the bottom of the slide. Yes.

[Drew]

Wait, at a water park near you?

[Kai]

I think it wasn't near me. I think it was near Christian, actually. Yeah, but then those, like, really tall slides, like, people always died on those, too.

[Drew]

Like, dude, it's insane water also, not to mention, like, so gross.

[Kai]

Like, literally, you can smell the chlorine.

[Drew]

It's because there's too much piss.

[Kai]

Yeah, it's because they're trying to cover the piss. Like, if you can smell chlorine, that's a bad sign. Don't get in that pool. It's got shit and piss all in it.

[Drew]

I, like, never really went into wave pools because basically there was, like, this one water park that was, like, I don't even know where it is. It's called Water Rapids. And if you're, like, on the east coast, like, the south side, you have probably been to water.

[Kai]

West coast person.

[Drew]

Personally, you're not from the West Coast. Where's water rapids anyways? If you. Where is it? Where is it? Wait, is water rapids not a thing anymore? I don't think water rapids is a thing anymore. There's no way. Oh, it's in West Palm beach, okay? In my. In my rapids water park. In my head, this was the furthest thing ever. So actually, I take back what I said, because this was still, like, an hour away from my house. But, like, that was way too far for my family to go for a water park. But I only got to go, like, two or three times. And I remember just as a kid being so overwhelmed, and, like, I. I was never really scared of water because I was, like, a beach baby growing up. So I was, like, always, like, at the. At the beach and stuff, like, playing in waves. And I was never really scared of drowning because I was a psychopath. And as a kid, that's how I wanted to die. I really wanted to drown. But I remember just, like, going to the. Like, at my young age. Like, my intuition was just, like, still so good. But I remember going to the. The, like, wave pool and being like, this is the most, like, inhumane thing ever. Like, this is not. This is. This is danger being mimicked because waves are so dangerous. Like, if you go to the beach a lot, you know that, like, there's nothing more terrifying than being tumbled around in something that is, like. Like the force of nature. Like, there's nothing assisting you. So why the fuck were humans, like, oh, my God, I almost drowned. We're gonna do this. But so much human fun is that.

[Kai]

Have you seen the clip of the dudes, like, in that, like, giant wave pool with, like, 10,000 people, and they're, like, selfie videoing themselves? Because it's, like, one of the most gnarly wave pools in the world? And, like, there's just a wave of people, and then, like, people riding the waves on, like, orca. Whatever they're called floaties, and they just dive right into them, and it just, like, fucking. It's the funniest clip ever of a wave pool. But.

[Drew]

I did have an arrow when I was, like, 7 or 8 that I was obsessed. Like, I was like. I would look up videos of wave pools.

[Kai]

All the gay kids, when they were younger would be in the Lazy River. Why was that a very. Why is that, like, a very telling thing?

[Drew]

Were you in the Lazy River?

[Kai]

No.

[Drew]

Okay. I was just. I don't know. I was just curious because, like, I've never heard that, so it sounds like, it sounds like something that would come from.

[Orion]

I just answered no. So fast.

[Drew]

I loved the Lazy river at my local water park. It was, like, so fun. I have so many pictures. My dad has so many pictures of me in the Lazy River.

[Kai]

That's what I'm saying.

[Drew]

Because it was fun. And now as an adult, I would pop myself in there with a margarita. As a kid, I just had to use my brain.

[Kai]

Think about that.

[Drew]

What was I doing? Like, I wish I could go back. What the was I thinking?

[Kai]

I would be floating around. We were literally doing. I was just swimming laps because I liked how fast you could go. And, like, there were, like, the little waves or the.

[Drew]

So you were in the Lazy river.

[Kai]

And you would swim with them really fast.

[Drew]

So you were in the Lazy.

[Kai]

I'm just recounting your experience.

[Drew]

Oh, okay. That confused me. It sounds like it sounded like you were saying yours. But no, I loved the lazy area because sneaking out of your tube and then getting yelled at also. Yeah, the water parks are just fucking gross because, like, the amount of piss and, like, the amount of babies in swim diapers. Swim diapers are the biggest scam ever because, like, it is literally, it's just a diaper. Like, diapers are already waterproof, like, in a sense, because they are sponges. Like, you can't make a diaper that you could go into water with and it won't just, like, soak up the water. Every baby walking around a water park has the heaviest little soggy butt ever. And it's full of. And piss and chlorine.

[Kai]

Do you know instant snow?

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Did you know the same material that is in. Is it diapers is instant snow? It's just a bunch of little polymer.

[Drew]

Why are you laughing so much?

[Orion]

I don't know. You guys are funny. Like.

[Drew]

Sometimes it feels like you're laughing at us.

[Orion]

No, I'm laughing with you for sure.

[Drew]

But yeah. Stinky little butts. I would never go to a water park. I. I would never take my kid to a water park. Honestly, I would give my kids.

[Kai]

Oh, my kid is going to the water park. That's how I'm never sick is because I got my immune system because I.

[Drew]

Went and I swallowed so much. I think my local water park. What?

[Kai]

What?

[Drew]

Because I went and I swallowed so much water at the water park. You didn't do that.

[Kai]

Oh, okay.

[Drew]

I would, like, swim around with my mouth open and my, like, my face halfway in the water, and I would just, like, collect all of it.

[Kai]

I actually would like. Oh, yeah.

[Drew]

I would play with the.

[Kai]

I would fucking put the water around.

[Drew]

I would literally put it in my.

[Kai]

Mouth and be like, water. Like, literally do flake water. Like, hell no.

[Drew]

That's why I like overpriced, like, specialty drinks so much, because nothing can replace the flavor of pissing.

[Kai]

Real, Real. It's been a while since we've talked about eating on the podcast. I think this is like the first time in like a. Like two episodes.

[Drew]

Yeah, at least two episodes.

[Kai]

So, yeah, we eat, which is lit.

[Drew]

If you're a newcomer.

[Kai]

Well, also, the whole cousin thing is coming back up, which is really annoying because we've stated our piece on this. Like, yes, we do what we do. Also, I'm wearing angel numbers on my shirt for all the astrology girls. Like, this is your sign to do what you need to do.

[Drew]

I don't know if 111 is angel numbers.

[Orion]

That's the monster logo.

[Kai]

Wait, actually, we need to see what 1, 11 is because what if it's like, kill yourself?

[Drew]

You wish.

[Kai]

Angel number it is. Fresh start, new beginnings. Oh, so start anew. Live your life.

[Drew]

I'm still constipated. Like, still. And you know what? Okay. I don't know what I did to receive the. I feel like I'm receiving physical karma for something I did because I just. I got really. I got really sick. And then finally when that alleviated, I got.

[Kai]

Letting me talk.

[Drew]

I. Okay, because I was talking and you just are like, trying to. But it. While I'm talking. So, like. And I got then like, the cough.

[Kai]

Oh, yo. It's literally a sickness. Gin in here. Both of them. Both of them are coughing.

[Orion]

But that cough didn't sound bad. A cough is a normal cop.

[Drew]

So I. I got like, deathly ill, which I never get. I never get, like, sick to the point that I like and like, dude, I have to stay home and like, like, lay in bed. Because usually when I'm sick, I'll just like, run around and. And like, cough on people and make sure I like and putting my hands in my mouth and like, touching things in public. And you know, like, I do my best, like I said, to build immunity for the community. So when I am sick, I try my best not to stay home usually, but I was so fudgeing sick that I couldn't go out and spread my, like, disease, so I had to stay home. And then finally when I felt better, I had this, like, dry burning cough that actually every time I coughed, it felt like I was hitting the world hottest blunt on the planet. And it was like Filling my lungs. It was like filling my lungs with heat.

[Kai]

Sorry, I have to cut you off. There is period blood on the toilet seat.

[Drew]

Oh, is there?

[Kai]

I think so. On the back of it.

[Drew]

Oh, that's. I'm sorry.

[Kai]

Well, no, I licked it clean. Don't worry.

[Drew]

I didn't see that.

[Kai]

Don't worry.

[Drew]

I guess I'll clean it.

[Kai]

Were you worried?

[Drew]

That was the funniest TikTok I've ever seen. We have to insert. But I was like, did you see? Don't worry, darling?

[Kai]

And. Yes.

[Drew]

What?

[Kai]

Yes.

[Drew]

Were you worried?

[Kai]

All right.

[Drew]

You just butchered that. So crazy. Anyway, then I. My sickness evolved into bronchitis, and then I got my period, and I never get cramps, and. And my. I, I. My body's aching. My back hurts. My fucking. Does anybody else's vulva get sore when they're on their period? My pussy feels like it got beat up.

[Kai]

My pussy pops severely.

[Drew]

Now I'm insecure about the blood on the seat, so I have to go clean it.

[Kai]

You look so stupid.

[Orion]

You look crazy. You look. You look schizophrenic.

[Kai]

One time when I was, like, seven or eight, I was really getting into, like, drawing and art and shit, while all of my older brothers were, like, starting to love, like, sports and football and everything. And it was a fine Christmas Eve at my grandmother's house, and all of my older brothers and cousins got, like, footballs and baseballs and sporting equipment and helmets and jerseys and shit. And I got a customized Care Bear. And when I opened that Care Bear, it was like rainbow you colored on the belly. I was, like, so fucking excited. I was like, this is maybe the best gift I've ever gotten in my entire life. And then literally everyone made fun of me. My family, my brothers, my sisters, my cousins. Literally everybody made fun of me for being excited about it. So then I shut that side down for, like, years and years and years.

[Drew]

What side was that?

[Kai]

My lit side. And now I love myself. How the hell are you gonna love someone else if you can't even love yourself?

[Drew]

Well, I'm sorry to hear that. Now to heal your inner child, you have Grindr.

[Kai]

So, yeah, I need to give my inner child a gun.

[Drew]

I need to give my inner child a set of matches, gasoline, A gun, lsd. A Hummer pickup truck.

[Kai]

Oh, I wanted a Hummer.

[Drew]

So did I tell you I saw a Hummer without the wheel on the back? And it was the most naked car I've ever seen.

[Kai]

It probably was ugliest.

[Drew]

It was so gross. I was like, Damn, who knew that one little dot. It's like taking a nose away from your face.

[Kai]

I wanted one of those so bad and I like begged my mom to get one so I could like be in a hummer. And my mom also wanted to hummer really bad. And when I was like four I was like, you need to just write a check and get that Hummer. And she was like, do you know what checks are? And she, I was like, yeah, it's like free money. Like I didn't understand what a check was.

[Orion]

It's kind of, kind of is like free money.

[Drew]

No it's not, dude. There has to be money in the account fraudulent.

[Orion]

I've paid so many people with money that is not there.

[Kai]

Yeah, it's just like what are they going to fudgeing to like get the money somehow? Like no they don't.

[Orion]

They don't ever come and get it.

[Drew]

What the fuck? Remember when banks used to have the drive thrus and they would send the, the check in the two.

[Orion]

Oh that was so.

[Kai]

Oh that was fun. As I, I put bees in one.

[Drew]

You.

[Kai]

Oh I sent, I sent bees back.

[Drew]

You know what I thought about? Is there like, you know how adults, like grown ass adults are always like me acting like we're not. What the are you saying?

[Kai]

Like I forget what it is but there's like this joke or something that my teeth were replaced with bees. Oh yeah, what is that Harry Styles? Maybe?

[Drew]

I think so. Like you just said like the most like incomprehensible thing to any human who doesn't know who we are. What is that? Harry Styles? The, the bees for teeth thing. Where is that? But you know how adults will be like, like old Fox will be like oh I remember back in my day, blah blah blah blah. And like we used to do it like this. I have so many things that I've been thinking that I'm like oh my God, that is. I am one of those people. Like when I went to go get this phone and they told me it was simless, I was the person who I was like that is so stupid. Like why would you take.

[Kai]

No it was actually, it is actually stupid. It's a very like create a problem to sell the solution.

[Drew]

Yeah. Like, and I was, and I was like this is so stupid. Blah blah blah. And then I started thinking about it and, and we are fully going to be like, we are going to be seamless like in the next like 10 years. I bet there will be no phone carriers because I guess other carriers because I didn't know there were other phones other than iPhones, but apparently there are other cellular devices that you can purchase, which is really confusing.

[Orion]

There's so.

[Drew]

Because I thought. I thought there were only iPhones. Like, what are the other ones?

[Kai]

Like, I don't know. I don't know.

[Orion]

But you guys don't know that there are other phones.

[Kai]

There's only. I don't even know what the words phone means. I know.

[Drew]

Is that a separate word because there's.

[Orion]

Iphones, but do you guys know that there were phones before the iPhone?

[Kai]

I actually don't know what that word means.

[Drew]

Yeah, cuz you keep saying it without like, that's, that's like if you. I was like, oh, did you know that there were ohms before homes? Like, what are you saying?

[Kai]

Yeah, like you're taking a letter.

[Orion]

Did you know that there were other types of iPhones before the iPhone?

[Drew]

Yeah, there's iPhone.

[Kai]

Like 4. Drop the 3G model.

[Orion]

No. Like, you guys could not be more wrong about the situation.

[Drew]

Okay. Because that's funny. Because it's two against one. Fucking idiot.

[Orion]

Yeah, I didn't think of it.

[Drew]

I hope you feel alone in that.

[Kai]

That's literally how like, people who are wrong are right is because they can get. If you can convince enough people that you're right, then it's like mob mentality.

[Orion]

You know what a thing that I came up with is what history is written by the Victorious.

[Drew]

The cast of Victorious wrote history.

[Orion]

I swear to God, like, I don't.

[Kai]

Know how Ariana Grande did not write.

[Drew]

Okay, wait, we have to talk about this. There was a girl in the theater and I'm okay. I don't know what's been happening. I've never heard other humans laugh such a, like cartoonish, non realistic laugh. Other than the past month when we went to see Bodies, Bodies, Bodies.

[Kai]

I love it.

[Drew]

There was a woman in the theater. At every single joke. I was like, you belong in the 80s in an audience for a sitcom, not in this movie theater. Like, because she was literally like, like, I swear.

[Kai]

Go, go on your Instagram story right now. Go to music, type in female laughing and click the first one. And that's literally what she said.

[Drew]

That was her life. And then yesterday, this couple came into the theater and it was like this young girl and guy and. And the guy was making his girlfriend laugh. And each laugh she was like, each one, each one was exactly identical to the last one. And I couldn't believe it. I was like, I cannot believe this girl is getting away with life laughing like she is cat From Victorious. Like, she's literally laughing like Ariana Grande's character in Victorious.

[Kai]

I feel like I'm so confused.

[Orion]

I think you would laugh like that if it was the 90s.

[Kai]

Yeah. Straight up.

[Orion]

You know what I mean? Like, do you ever think about that? Like, the way that you see interviews with people from, like, 1999 and they just talk differently. They talk like they're in the 90s.

[Drew]

That was because they didn't have iPhone and they were living a sad, depraved life.

[Orion]

Yeah, that was before iPhone.

[Kai]

That was confused.

[Drew]

What is it into one singular human being. The iPhone.

[Kai]

I, I. So yesterday I was walking down to get our McDonald's because we are heathens and order McDonald's at.

[Drew]

Oh, yeah, I've also been sick. And then all day I sit around.

[Kai]

And I, like, feel like I don't feel good. One, she is eating like garbage. Like, the worst I've ever seen her eat in my entire life. Because normally India is really good about eating, but you know what it is.

[Drew]

Is, like, I don't want to have to take care of myself when I'm sick.

[Kai]

You're also leaving in three days, so I understand, like, not getting groceries.

[Drew]

Yeah. So that's the. And I'm like, bitch, I'm not about to buy things for it to go raw in.

[Kai]

Oh, we were talking about the whole cousin shit. So there's this YouTube video titled, like, what if all humans started inbreeding?

[Drew]

What were you saying about getting the McDonald's?

[Kai]

I'll tell you in a sec. But we'll get to this first. But what would. What would happen if all of humanity started inbreeding? And the first, like, minute of that video is me proposing to my beautiful, wonderful cousin India, who I had three children with. It's just, like.

[Drew]

Who are long gone.

[Kai]

I wouldn't consider inbreeding.

[Drew]

No, that's not.

[Kai]

It's just. It's love. Because what we have is love. Also, like, we make.

[Drew]

Why do we have to put, like, such labels? Awful label. On things that are beautiful.

[Kai]

We don't have to label everything. That's old head mentality, man.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Like, what? We are our lovers.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

We're not incestual.

[Drew]

Like, what does that mean?

[Kai]

Rants and disgusting people. But yeah, I'm just. I needed to get that in the bed real quick before it just, like, got.

[Drew]

Yeah, it got too crazy, too wild.

[Kai]

But so I was getting the McDonald's at the door and at the bottom of the stairs, I had remembered something that I trauma blocked from two days earlier. And I've been wearing really, really embarrassing underwear lately. Um, and Kai has seen me in them and you saw me freak the fuck out. No one is allowed to see me in my underwear. Like, it. In my embarrassing underwear. It's, like, really fucked up, but it's just all I have.

[Drew]

What's your embarrassing underwear?

[Kai]

I don't even want to say it because. And I'm sure people can infer it's tighty whities, but I, like, was, like, ass naked around the house, like, while everybody was gone, because it's, like, fun as fuck. Like, I'm just in my boxers, which I'm. Okay, whatever. I go to the front, I order food, I order Subway, and I go to the front door and I let like, 2 minutes pass, 3 minutes pass before I went and got my food. Because I was like, I do not want to be seen in these by anybody, let alone a complete stranger. And I open the front door to grab my food and I just, like, swing it open and I, like, bend down and I look up and he's literally still standing there on his phone. And he looks up and sees me. And I freaked the fuck out. I slammed the door and run away. And I. That's literally. I was like. I didn't apologize. I didn't say anything. I was just like, oh, my fucking God. And I just, like, left. And it was like maybe one of the worst things that's ever happened.

[Drew]

And then once you put that chicken McChicken to your mouth, your problems dissolved.

[Kai]

Oh, it was Subway. Oh, it was a spicy Italian with tomato, with lettuce, with banana peppers. I used to get it with oil, but I took the oil away on that particular sandwich and I'm putting it back because it adds to it. I added mayonnaise, which is lit. I added cucumbers, which is lit. It's really refreshing. And then I don't get it toasted. I get it cut in half and I add extra cheese and that's.

[Drew]

I used to eat the tuna from Subway.

[Orion]

You guys. Completely dissolving the illusion of what it's like to be, like, an influencer in la. Just talking about how excited you are about mayonnaise.

[Drew]

Dude, Subway and McDonald's are so good. Our ketchup.

[Kai]

Our job is hard as. Yeah, what we do is harder.

[Drew]

And we only eat like that because it's our. It is our last choice because we don't stop working until like, 1pm I'm.

[Kai]

Working in my dreams, baby. I'm never not working. I'm writing them down. It's my heart. My job is harder than any retailer.

[Orion]

They added. They added podcaster to essential workers.

[Kai]

Okay, exactly.

[Drew]

That makes sense.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Because also my dad called me and he was like, enya, it's getting hard out here. Like, it's just so hot. Like, I'm aging and I still have to work outside, and my life is really hard. And I was like, oh, my God, why the do you keep calling me?

[Kai]

Don't complain to us.

[Drew]

My work. Like, I don't working. I'm literally like. And then I hang up on him. And then I look at kind. I'm like, you better fucking cut that out of this. You better cut that the fuck out. Because my dad is on the phone crying to me. Then my mom calls, and she's like, Anya, like, can you please. Can you help with the phone bill? And I'm like, oh, my God, you fucking bitch. Throw your phone away. Why do you need a phone? I need a phone for my work.

[Kai]

It's crazy because I find myself working past, like, 5:15 on, like, the average day. Like, no.

[Drew]

Sometimes my work stretches past 1pm and I don't know. I don't know how people do it.

[Kai]

Like, what the fudge?

[Drew]

I have to wake up. Picture this. I wake up at 9am I put on makeup and I come and I sit here and I fucking give my heart to you bitches that you.

[Kai]

I give you my everything, and all you do is laugh.

[Drew]

But what was I saying?

[Kai]

Physically, this job is hard too, because I have to keep up this image.

[Drew]

Yeah. Because I have to, like, go to the gym that I spend, like, so much money on. Like.

[Orion]

You guys do look really good. Honestly. Like, you're both your guys's skin, and your hair looks really good.

[Kai]

Thank you.

[Drew]

I have not washed my hair in so long.

[Orion]

Yours looks, like, very silky.

[Drew]

Thanks. It's literally natural oils.

[Orion]

Yours is falling out.

[Drew]

There's a huge hat back on.

[Kai]

What? Really? Look.

[Orion]

I. I think it looks good. Yeah.

[Drew]

Drew loves to pull his hair out and say, it's falling out, it's falling out. And then he's like, why? Why do I have, like, spider split ends? And it's literally because his hair does naturally shed. But to show us, he rips his hair out and is like, look, yes.

[Kai]

I pulled more hair out of my head than I have, like, actually shed my hair just to show people that I'm balding. But I had a very stressful event happen to me about three months ago, and I think I'm finally seeing the damages from that in my Own body.

[Drew]

I can't think of what happened three months ago.

[Kai]

You don't want to know.

[Drew]

Oh, I don't know what happened. Oh, when you were talking about Subway, all I could think about is when we walked to Rite Aid, which is like, that's. What. What the are you saying to me right now?

[Orion]

Who wants us to pry so bad? Like, about what happened? You clearly want us to.

[Drew]

Okay, well, that's good for you. Keep that to yourself. No more prying. Like, if you don't want to tell me something. Like, I'm not looking for it. Like, you either tell me or I. I keep going.

[Kai]

Yeah, like, I'm with you on that.

[Drew]

I want. I wish this was a real soda so I could shake it up and open it like a cartoon and spray it all on you.

[Kai]

This. I was gonna drink this.

[Drew]

And they probably go, but what I was thinking about, me and Drew were in Rite Aid, and before we went, he was telling me what he was gonna get. He was like, I'm gonna get lay's chips. And then when we were in there, he was looking, and he was like, I thought lace chips sounded really good. And I was like, you're thinking of how good lay's chips are when you have a Subway sandwich with it. Like, that's a different. Like, that is a different ball.

[Kai]

It elevated. The sandwich elevates the chips to another. It's a symbiotic relationship.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

And the chips get elevated to another level because that crunch mixed with that meat.

[Drew]

And what is it about? What is it about having a mouth full of chewed up McDonald's with some Coke on top?

[Kai]

Oh, what is it about that mixture me with popcorn. You know what I do?

[Drew]

And I tried it, and I was like, this is awful.

[Kai]

I take a bite out of my hot dog, I stuff my mouth full of popcorn, and then I drink the soda and I melt. It's.

[Drew]

So that changes it. Because I thought you were just doing popcorn and Coca Cola, and I was like this. Oh, I do, like, dissolving paper.

[Kai]

I literally do do that as well. You know Alex from Target, right? What if I told you I was him?

[Drew]

I would literally.

[Kai]

That's why I'm here.

[Drew]

I would show you a video of him, and I would be like, this. You are not him.

[Kai]

Dude, I loved. You were not Target. I love my job at Target. It was like, so then why'd you leave it, Ellen?

[Drew]

Oh, you love it so much, you got one small kind of better option, and you fucking left.

[Kai]

Yeah. Ellen was such a bitch to me. Like, she Was so mean. Like, she brought me on her show and, like, she told me all these lies to my face about how, like, we're gonna make you a star. We're gonna make you famous. You're gonna be mine. You're all mine now. It was really weird. And she brought me up. Did you want to put me on the show? Yeah. Basically it was. She thought I was a girl. She just said all these, like, really crazy things to me about, like, the interview. You've seen the interview with me and Ellen. And then she just dropped me. She forgot about me and.

[Drew]

Oh, wait, so this isn't better than Target. You just ended up here?

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

This is, like, your rock bottom. Well, I feel like this is a really good place for me, so now I feel, like, offended.

[Kai]

Yeah, but you're not Alex from Target. Do you know where I've been, the places I've seen, The amount of money.

[Drew]

Did he get, like, sponsored by, like, vans?

[Kai]

No, that's Daniel.

[Drew]

Yeah, Daniel.

[Kai]

Damn Daniel.

[Drew]

I just saw the clip the other day of Josie on the floor saying, like, van sales have gone up 700 game. We talk about Josiah every single episode. But.

[Kai]

And he doesn't come around.

[Drew]

Why is it in a woman's DNA when she is single to post more selfie to. It is like, God did that. That was like the iOS update for women. Like, single, post more selfie. Single get hotter. Post more selfie. Because that's what I do. If you see me. If you see me posting myself a lot, I am genuinely marketing myself. Crackhead.

[Kai]

Okay, why are all girls who use IG crackheads?

[Drew]

I hate that. All my laughs sound like they're being.

[Kai]

Muffled for a smoker. Smoker cough.

[Drew]

Okay, here's something I wrote down. I hella ate dog food as a kid, and I wish I was brave enough to eat fish food, too.

[Kai]

That is the most vile thing I've ever heard.

[Drew]

You didn't think. You don't think fish food, but you don't even like tuna, so you don't. You're. You're, like, coming from a different place.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

No, you're coming from a less expanded palette. Me, since I.

[Kai]

Because I don't have dog food.

[Drew]

I had. I had this sense. I. I felt like Remy from Ratatouille. I had this, like, ultra violence.

[Kai]

I will say. And the dog food, the bacon, the little bacon strips. Okay, that looked yummers. I never ate it, but I always wanted to eat.

[Drew]

I know. I ate like, it comes in the. The yellow bag because that was the dog food we got My dog, it comes with the yellow bat in the yellow bag and it has the like blue like like stamp of approval on it. Do you know what food I'm talking about?

[Kai]

Pedigree.

[Drew]

Yes. All the time. And then we had a big. Oh hell no. Megan strips. You wanted bagging strips. You just wanted bacon.

[Kai]

I just wanted that.

[Drew]

You wanted beef jerky.

[Orion]

So good. They have like the dye on them.

[Kai]

Yeah, it literally just really red. It just looks like little pieces of baked like fake tofurkey bacon that you can eat now.

[Orion]

It looks so good.

[Kai]

But fish food, I, I think that's the most vile thing I've ever heard you say or come from your mouth. Like that's, that's really rancid.

[Drew]

No, like I would, I would take some rice right now and put some fish flake food on it because doesn't that change it?

[Kai]

Yeah, like bonito flakes.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

That's literally all it is. Yeah, that makes a little more sense actually. Yeah. Because like that's just elevating.

[Drew]

It smells fucking good. Like if you don't think this food smells good, you're just like not that person. Like you are just like. You're honestly not on the level I'm at. Like you probably, you probably can't walk into Nobu and get a table without even saying a word. And that's the level. And you, you don't like the taste of fish food or smell it.

[Kai]

You can't do that. You've never done that.

[Drew]

Oh, I do it all the time. I just don't do it with you because then I wouldn't get the fucking table.

[Kai]

Okay, yeah.

[Drew]

Ye. No, you, you by my side. They would look at me and they would put me aside and they would be like enya, what the fuck did we tell you about this freak? And I was like oh my God, I'm so sorry. Like I honestly forgot he was in the car with me. He was in the backseat because I make him sit in the backseat because I don't like him on the path. Driving with a parent has to be the most frustrating thing on the fucking planet.

[Kai]

Me predicting the Queen's death. It's the most frustrating thing on the planet and no one believing me. You did not look back.

[Orion]

Dude, everybody predicted the Queen's death.

[Drew]

Everybody predicted the death of a mid-90s.

[Orion]

A 130 year old woman was going to die.

[Kai]

Yeah. But no one predicted the day our.

[Drew]

Time when you did that.

[Kai]

Because now you're probably gonna, you're probably. Look, go look.

[Drew]

Go look where you're not giving me.

[Kai]

Just find it. I don't need to explain myself in everything.

[Drew]

I'm gonna start saying I said shit because really, who's gonna look through, like, 64 hours of footage to see if I said it like, I said that?

[Kai]

I would. Me and Kai both would.

[Orion]

Yeah, we both.

[Drew]

I'm gonna take my diva cup out and, like, go like this to it.

[Orion]

There's a Twitter account that predicted the day that the queen died.

[Drew]

There's always a Twitter account predicting something.

[Kai]

And then guess who runs it. Guess who runs it.

[Drew]

Babe, I can't believe the Simpsons predicted this.

[Kai]

Me. No, no.

[Drew]

Yeah, it's been fun and long. Please, please. Oh, don't talk like that.

[Kai]

No.

[Drew]

Okay. Are you gonna cut that?

[Orion]

I mean, yeah, I'm. I'm always here to protect your image.

[Drew]

Yeah. Yeah. I don't even know why you're fucking saying it.

[Orion]

You shouldn't leave that.

[Drew]

Write the fucking note down.

[Orion]

I did. I wrote it while you were hitting him.

[Drew]

While I was what now? You gotta cut that.

[Orion]

I'll cut that too.

[Drew]

While I was giving him the attention he needed.

[Orion]

And I'm definitely not gonna leak it on the subreddit. Oh, shit.

[Kai]

I like how you flinch your head too. Like, still.

[Orion]

Well, I'm getting hit.

[Kai]

That just hurt.

[Drew]

All right. Sorry, guys. The makeup crew had to come in and touch me up. But we're back. We're back. Someday.

[Kai]

Oh, I was talking about this yesterday. It's actually really awesome to see people, like, excited about a Bjork album release. Like, I feel like the last, like, two albums she's released, like, no one has given a.

[Drew]

There's gonna be one person who's like, I care. I cared. I cared.

[Kai]

I cared. No, you didn't. You're lying to yourself. You did not care to the degree that I've been seeing on the online. And it's just really fascinating and awesome to see, like, a revital or revival of her, like, cult, like, audience, especially in, like, Gen Z, which is cool. I don't give a. About her new album. Be Real.

[Drew]

Be Real. I'm there because two of the singles, like Ovule and whatever. The other one was not the trumpet one, but two of the singles were pretty good. So I am curious.

[Kai]

The trumpet one was the craziest song I've ever heard in my life. Don't. Don't get me wrong. I will listen to this album and I will probably love it, but, like, I'm not, like, excited about it. Like, I was excited about, like, I don't know.

[Drew]

Somebody made a really funny TikTok that was like, guys, we did it. We hit the end of music with that song.

[Kai]

With that song.

[Drew]

It was like, guys, we did it. Like, we. We hit the end of it. There's nothing.

[Orion]

I thought it was the. The Brockhampton song.

[Kai]

Which one?

[Orion]

The one where every instrument.

[Drew]

That song is lit.

[Kai]

It's lit. It's lit.

[Orion]

There is something about it that you're like, damn. They really don't give a.

[Drew]

Such a simple time.

[Kai]

Oh, Kai.

[Orion]

What?

[Kai]

We didn't talk about it, and it's been three episodes since, but we just haven't been in the same room to discuss this publicly. But I had a sex dream with Kai.

[Drew]

Ew. Come on, man.

[Kai]

I did. I really. I. Real life, for real did.

[Orion]

It's true. He told me.

[Kai]

I told him literally all about it. Actually, I didn't tell him all about it. I. I just know it happened. And I have this thing where if I have a sex dream with someone that's in my personal life, I have to tell them or I will never be able to look at them the same way. And the next morning, I woke up and told him immediately.

[Drew]

Was it gross?

[Kai]

No, it was lit. I'm not joking. It was. It wasn't lit as sex dream. I don't remember what happened. I just know it was lit.

[Orion]

You don't rem. Remember what happened?

[Drew]

See, I've. I've only had two.

[Kai]

Why. Why don't I remember what happened?

[Orion]

It's. What. I wasn't memorable? What I did to you wasn't memorable.

[Kai]

Oh, my.

[Drew]

So y' all actually had sex and you tried to suppress it because you're embarrassed and ashamed of how gross he is? You don't have to be ashamed. Everybody's had sex with somebody who's so foul and ugly and disgusting, and they regret it. But, like, you move on.

[Kai]

I don't believe.

[Drew]

And then at one point in your life, you're like, you know what? That person wasn't the grossest person on the earth.

[Kai]

And that dream was a way for me to cope with a traumatic event. So coping. That's literally all dreams are. Coping. Coping mechanism.

[Drew]

No, dreams are me being on the fucking magic carpet going through the, like, tonic Tundra.

[Kai]

For the tonic tundra. That's. That's the new fortnight map. That's loading.

[Drew]

Tonic Tundra.

[Kai]

Okay.

[Drew]

I've only had sex dreams about two people in the group, and it's Orion and Drew. And Drew's was horrifying. It was literally horrifying. And we were like, Being forced to do it. And it was literally like. I think it was because all the times.

[Kai]

Oh, that was a thick glob, huh? Did it hit the back of your tongue or the front.

[Orion]

Hit the back of my throat, yeah.

[Kai]

Just like the dream.

[Orion]

Just like the dream.

[Drew]

The one with Drew in. It was literally like. I think it's from us always being like. I feel like if we were forced to have sex, like, it would just be funny. But the dream was not funny. It was literally us realizing, like, oh, this isn't funny.

[Kai]

This doesn't not work.

[Drew]

Awful. And then the other one was with Orion and it was lit, but it was, like, sad because we were like, dude, we shouldn't have done that.

[Kai]

Like, I must have been, like, hella horny because, like, a few days prior to the one with Kai, I had a sex dream with. Oh, I know.

[Drew]

And, like, your mouth, I think, fully showed. Just make a note of it.

[Kai]

Yeah, but it was up. And I, I. That was one person that I couldn't tell that I had that with. But I told everybody else, and, like, I genuinely still to this day, cannot see that person the same. What the are sex dreams? They're so embarrassing. Like, I have zero interest or want for these people. Why am I having sex on planes?

[Drew]

I always fall asleep thinking about sex.

[Orion]

Okay, that's like.

[Drew]

And then I knock out.

[Orion]

I am offended. Like, what you said is offensive.

[Drew]

Can you stop being so butthurt? It's embarrassing.

[Orion]

That's true.

[Kai]

I made your butt hurt in the dream. Let's talk about that. Wait, girl, hold on. Tell me why cheating on your significant other is the best thing ever invented. Like, for me, as a man, I get to have sex and have zero feelings. But as, like, a woman or my partner in this situation, like, you're obviously, you cannot have sex with another person because you'll fall in love with them. But me, I'm designed to do this. Cheating is the best thing ever invented, and I won't back down.

[Drew]

I saw this girl, made her.

[Kai]

He said, quote that, clip that clip.

[Drew]

Clip that, click that chat. I thought this girl made her husband sign a clause or, like, her fiance, that if he cheated on her, it was something like he had to, like, pay her. Like, it was like, like a moat for emotional damages.

[Kai]

Like, that's just gonna make me harder and better.

[Drew]

Which I actually think Julia Fox actually talked about this, too. I think is a reasonable thing. Because you have to think, because Julia Fox explained it, like, perfectly. She was like, the, like, emotional trauma that that causes on somebody. And how, like, hard it is to get past it and go into other relationships with that, like, genuinely does complicate your life to a degree that is, like, immeasurable. So it would make sense to have to, like, pay for that person's, like, therapy, to have to, like, work through that. I was like, yeah, I'm not gonna do that because I'm gonna cheat. So I don't want to put myself in a pickle.

[Kai]

Cheaters. That's interesting. No, I actually do fully agree with that. That's like a. I don't.

[Drew]

I wouldn't blame somebody if they stabbed a cheater. Not killed them, but, like, stabbed.

[Kai]

Like, puncture. Yeah. A cheater doesn't deserve to be killed, but they deserve to be injured.

[Drew]

Like some kind of, like, injury.

[Orion]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kai]

Like, maybe even like a pinky toe ripped off. Because that's like, you don't need that. But it will hurt.

[Drew]

Yeah, it will hurt so bad. And then every time you look down, you will be reminded of the awful thing you did.

[Orion]

Or, like, to be spanked.

[Drew]

Should we get into Medium?

[Kai]

Yeah, let's get into it.

[Drew]

Yeah, let's get into that.

[Kai]

All right. You take whichever movie I don't say. Or we can do it the other way. Okay. So me and Enya and Josh went to two movies in a row and it was so lit and we saw.

[Drew]

Well, you. I know you stink.

[Orion]

I smell bad. I just showered.

[Drew]

I make it funny. Like, I don't do that every episode. I think it is okay and natural to smell your.

[Kai]

Oh, nice.

[Orion]

You like that?

[Drew]

I think it's okay to smell yourself because I'd rather smell myself than, like, wait for someone else.

[Kai]

Yeah, like that clip of that girl at the festival, like, smelling herself when she's jumping around and having a good time. And then she smells herself and puts her arms down. Like, people were making fun of her at first, but then the rest of the world was like, wait, no. Like, that's so good. And you're self aware and thank you for putting your stuff.

[Drew]

The problem is I think my stinks. My must smells really good.

[Kai]

So I would keep my arms up, attract some. Some fine specimens. But we saw two movies in a row. We saw. The movie I'm going to talk about is. What fucking movie is it?

[Drew]

Barbarian.

[Kai]

Barbarian. Barbarian is fucking a masterpiece. It's like, terrifying and hilarious and, like, it's at, like, no point is. Are you able to really guess what's going to happen next? It's like one of those, like, dude, it's so. I don't Want to spoil it? Because, like, going into it.

[Drew]

Going into a blind was so good.

[Kai]

Don't watch a trailer. Go watch it without a trailer. It was so funny, too. Like, it was nothing.

[Drew]

I. That was, like, the last thing I expected.

[Kai]

Yeah, exactly. It was so.

[Drew]

I almost didn't go see it because I was like, this is gonna suck because I hate scary movies because I think they're so, like, it was, like.

[Kai]

The first, like, good scary movie in a while.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Like, since, like, Midsommar.

[Drew]

Also, what I just thought about was, you know, the audio that's going where I was like, yeah, I was actually supposed to be in that music video. Yeah, I was. And it's like, it's just supposed to be making fun of people who randomly are like, oh, did you know I was supposed to be in that movie? But I got invited to the premiere of that movie, and I didn't go. And I literally was like, wow, I got invited to that premiere.

[Kai]

Yeah. At the end of the movie, you announced it to the entire full theater. You're like, damn, I should have gone to that. I should have gone to that.

[Drew]

I should have went to the premiere I was invited to.

[Kai]

That was so good. But it was also just, like, one of those movies that you get to be rowdy in and, like, no one can be mad because, like, you can yell or you can be like, damn.

[Drew]

I was cracking up.

[Kai]

I said we were laughing at the wrong times.

[Drew]

I said, bruh, really loud at one point and literally, like, got a laugh. And it was way too good for me.

[Kai]

Like, oh, do you know, we didn't even talk about this. But literally, like, right when the movie started, like, I'm not joking. Like, a minute into it, like, this really silent part happened. And then literally, you just hear someone's ringtone, and it's like, do you like Pina? And then it cuts off, and he just runs out of the theater. And we died laughing.

[Drew]

Because I. First of all, that is your ringtone.

[Kai]

Yeah, exactly.

[Drew]

Like, what the is happening?

[Kai]

It was so lit.

[Drew]

Also, you know, we had to clap for Nicole Kidman, and we got the theater literally rolling in.

[Kai]

Crap.

[Drew]

Yeah, it cracked in class.

[Kai]

Her amc, like, before the movie thing. Like, we were like. And then the whole theater just all.

[Drew]

Like, burst out laughing and started clapping because everybody, like, when it started, kind of went dead silent because everybody knew and was like, oh, my God, it's. It's the commercial. And it was a packed theater. It just felt so good. Life is bad, baby. But the other movie we saw was Fire of Love and genuinely best movie ever. Best soundtrack ever. I love that fucking movie. I'm literally going to make. Me and Drew have decided we are going to make volcanoes, one of our personalities, and we are going to see a volcano. If not for his birthday, for my.

[Kai]

Yeah, we're going to go to Iceland, and we're not. There's two types of volcanoes, and we learned this from the movie. There's grays and there's red.

[Drew]

I want to. We want to see red.

[Kai]

The red is the most beautiful one. But, like, the composition of the shots in that movie was fucking crazy.

[Drew]

It made me, like, really, really envious. And, like, I have this issue when I see someone creating really good art that somehow feels like I can make. I get this, like, weird feeling where I'm like, I have to do that. But then I'm like, that is literally not something I'm capable of doing, because it was just. Dude, it was, like, gorgeous.

[Kai]

Jaw dropping. It was, like, audibly being like, oh, my God.

[Drew]

Yeah, we, like, couldn't shut the up because we just kept being like, dude, what? Like, it was, like, comical how good it was, and then it really just. Yeah. I was gonna say that's something I really love is, like. I think my favorite kind of, like, the reason why I love documentaries and the ones I usually go to watch are ones where I'm watching footage from, like, just somebody, like, videoing somebody they like and like. Or, like, love and, like, that's, like, the best kind of footage to watch. I love that so much. Yeah, we saw it together.

[Kai]

Okay.

[Drew]

Like. And that's what I love is just, like. Like, people filming themselves or, like, which is actually crazy to think about because that's. That's why, like, YouTube and, like, the Internet does so well is because people just inherently like that because they like to feel human, which is, like, the simplest thing anybody has ever said.

[Kai]

But, like, it was just so good, Matt. Literally a masterpiece.

[Drew]

And, like, that was the poster I was trying to buy, and I was being yelled at.

[Kai]

Yeah, y' all. Like, if you see Barbarian or. If you want to see Barbarian or Fire of Love, go see Fire of Love of the two.

[Drew]

But I will say it is, like, a slow documentary, and it's like. It's a French documentary because they were French. Volcan. Volcanus.

[Kai]

Volcano. I just.

[Drew]

The hardest word ever. So. Because one's a documentary, and then one's, like, a blast to watch, but, like, it just depends the mood you're in. But both are so good. I would see Fire of Love again Like I like genuinely. I'm like, I need to.

[Kai]

Yeah. I would see it again just because it's. I would see both.

[Drew]

Yeah, I was just about to say.

[Kai]

Like both are just to catch little things. But yeah, Fire of Love was really, really incredible. Whoever directed and edited that movie and did the sound design into. Yeah, like walking into it, I was like, like I was like, dude, this is gonna be like cool. They used or this is gonna be cool, but it's not gonna be great because they used all the good footage for the trailer and I've already seen it all, but like it was jam packed hour and 40 minutes of like the most incredible, beautiful footage you've ever seen. The most dangerous footage you've ever seen. It's literally a soundtrack I've ever heard.

[Drew]

Also just the most romantic thing I've seen in a long time. Yeah, like that was the crazy part. I've never seen a documentary about something so science based that was like so romantic.

[Kai]

Yeah. Based in love. And dude, those freaks were like philosophical geniuses. Like they. Their writing was gorgeous. But for my music media, I gotta. I gotta talk about Love of Fire or Fire of Love. Soundtrack. So Orca by Nicholas Goden. The Big Ship 2004 by Brian Enu. And then they. They had Forever Time Journeys by Naran Rattan. In it, which was lit but clouds up by air is the other one that like, like was really shocking to me. Yeah, that whole soundtrack, dude, it's just a great sound. It's literally.

[Drew]

Literally. I'm not kidding. I think it was like the best soundtrack of all time. And like the best. It was the best like non original soundtrack ever. Like, because when I was watching it I was like, dude, some of these songs had to be made for this. But no, it was just whoever curated the. The soundtrack for that was like so spot on.

[Kai]

Yeah, it was.

[Drew]

So literally everything on that soundtrack is top. And then no Bitterness by Alex.

[Kai]

Am I the only one that wants.

[Drew]

I don't like the last part. Wish by Blood Orange, which is. I already. Think I said that. I think I already said that. Never could have been Worse by Everything but the Girl.

[Kai]

Everything but the Bagel.

[Drew]

And then. Wait, what album is this? Something of It's. Wait, give me one second. Oh, oh. Court and Spark by Joni Mitchell. Because I got it on CD finally. Because I haven't been able to listen to Joni Mitchell in so long because since she's not on streaming services or I think she's just not on Spotify, maybe she's on Apple, but I use.

[Kai]

Spotify, so you better work. Work, work, work, work, work. That is so yummy. Work, work, work, work.

[Drew]

And then I. I have to start buying. I think I've already said this, but I gotta start buying, like, CDs. She is on Apple, but I don't use Apple. So I just haven't listened to her in a long time. And that was really nice because I got to use my nice CD player. I just have to get CDs of all, like, the classics. I have to go, like, make a list and, like, find them for dirt cheap because I don't want to spend. CDs are so new.

[Kai]

CDs are so expensive now.

[Drew]

So expensive. But yeah. Thank you guys so much for watching this episode.

[Kai]

I hope you enjoyed and loved and had a blast and a great time. You're wonderful. You're beautiful. Every emergency intercom fan I've ever met in my entire life. I'm like, wow, y' all are pretty. So if I've met you, you're pretty.

[Drew]

And if I've met you, I hate you. I'm kidding. Sh.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and safeway. Now through June 24th. Score hot summer savings and earn four times the points. Look for in store tags on items like Kinder, Bueno Cheez it Crackers, Oscar Meyer Lunchables, and Just Bear chicken Bites. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event long savings. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in store or online. For easy drive up and go pick up or delivery subject to availability restrictions apply. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details.

[Drew]

Cuando vasa chasey pena compra le unregalo papa con tucuponte Veinte porciento Extra no solo listas comprando un regalo papa con veinte porciento extra Le estas demonstrando que sus forso como Papa baglio la pena la pruevo estana el recivo si est Penny coupon valido astal quince detaches en Latinda or jcppunt.com.