Red 40 challenge

Summary

Emergency Intercom Podcast - Episode: Red 40 Challenge Host/Authors: Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips
Release Date: August 16, 2024

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Overview

In the "Red 40 Challenge" episode of Emergency Intercom, hosts Enya Umanzor (Kai) and Drew Phillips, alongside co-host Josiah, dive into a whirlwind of comedic discussions, personal anecdotes, and outrageous challenges. The episode is punctuated by their signature humor, playful banter, and spontaneous interactions, creating an engaging and entertaining listening experience. This summary captures the key topics, memorable quotes, and the overall flow of the episode, providing a comprehensive overview for both regular listeners and newcomers.

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Chair Conundrums and Personification (00:47 - 03:09)

The episode kicks off with Drew and Kai humorously debating their discomfort with sitting in a particular chair, leading to the whimsical personification of the chair as a queer entity.

• Drew: "I don't know that I like you on the floor. Like, it feels a little, like, degrading and sad." ([00:49])
• Kai: "She's special. She's here. She's queer. We found out she came out of the closet. We're really proud of her." ([01:55])

This segment showcases their playful approach to everyday situations, turning a mundane object into a character with a personality and backstory.

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TikTok Psychic Medium Debate (03:37 - 06:00)

Drew introduces a TikTok video featuring a woman claiming to have been struck by lightning who later reveals herself as a psychic medium. The hosts engage in a spirited debate about the authenticity of her story.

• Drew: "She got struck by lightning. Like, this is insane. I've always wanted to hear someone talk about this." ([04:15])
• Kai: "I believe her all the comments." ([04:35])
• Drew: "I think you just had, like, a minor stroke. And, like, that is serious as fuck." ([05:32])

Drew remains skeptical, questioning the plausibility of the woman's lightning strike story, while Kai offers empathy and support, highlighting their contrasting perspectives.

---

Critique of Brand Sponsorships in the Olympics (06:34 - 08:02)

The conversation shifts to a critique of intrusive brand sponsorships during major events like the Olympics. Drew expresses frustration over how brands infiltrate moments meant for celebration and competition.

• Drew: "Brands are getting too smart and like our consumerism is going through the Fudgeing roof." ([07:01])
• Kai: "This Samsung phone on that goddamn podium was driving me insane." ([24:30])

They lament the commercialization of sports, where authentic moments are overshadowed by relentless advertising, diminishing the spectator experience.

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Screen Time, Social Media, and Personal Projects (08:07 - 10:02)

Kai and Drew delve into their personal struggles and strategies regarding screen time and social media consumption. Kai discusses her disciplined approach using apps to limit usage, while Drew shares his attempts to balance reading and other activities.

• Kai: "I am on a four day streak of not opening TikTok more than five times." ([25:59])
• Drew: "I've read 50 pages of two books that I really wanted to start." ([26:28])

This segment highlights their commitment to mental well-being and personal growth, offering relatable insights for listeners grappling with similar issues.

---

75 Hard Challenge Commentary (27:56 - 31:59)

Drew humorously critiques the 75 Hard Challenge, which involves rigorous daily tasks such as reading and working out. He questions the practicality and intensity of the challenge, likening it to overextending oneself.

• Drew: "I would consider that abuse to myself. Because why would I work out twice a day?" ([28:34])

Kai concurs, reflecting on her own reading habits and resilience, making fun of the challenge's demanding nature with their characteristic humor.

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Red 40 Challenge: Concept and Execution (51:18 - 58:56)

The centerpiece of the episode revolves around the "Red 40 Challenge," a daring and comedic venture into consuming large quantities of Red 40 food dye. Kai reveals her purchase of five pounds of Red 40 from Wuhan, setting the stage for the challenge.

• Kai: "I just bought 5 pounds of Red 40 because I feel like I'm not getting enough in my diet." ([50:10])
• Josiah: "Have you been like, are you serious?" ([53:00])

Despite Josiah's concerns and an inserted robotic warning about the dangers of consuming excessive Red 40, Kai proceeds with the challenge, leading to a series of hilarious and exaggerated reactions from the hosts.

• Drew: "Have you been like, are you serious?" ([53:00])
• Kai: "Your fingers are red." ([51:46])

The challenge serves as a comedic highlight, showcasing their willingness to engage in absurd antics for entertainment.

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Emails, Trolling, and Audience Interaction (46:18 - 53:00)

Kai shares a troubling email she received, which includes a mangled picture and a creepy message. Initially dismissing it as a troll, she later realizes its unsettling nature.

• Kai: "I received this scary mangled picture along with an email." ([46:18])
• Drew: "Do you know what he's arguing about?" ([64:12])

The hosts mock the situation, blending humor with mock-seriousness as they react to the dubious email's contents, further emphasizing their comedic dynamic.

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Final Banter, Challenges, and Concluding Antics (59:14 - End)

As the episode progresses towards its conclusion, the hosts continue their lighthearted banter, touching on various topics from personal anecdotes to absurd challenges related to Red 40.

• Kai: "I.P. turns my mouth red." ([58:56])
• Drew: "I'm not doing that." ([58:56])

The episode culminates in a chaotic yet entertaining finale, with Kai insisting on completing the Red 40 Challenge despite Drew's reluctance and Josiah's concerns. Their exaggerated performances and playful interactions wrap up the episode on a high note, leaving listeners amused and engaged.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

1. Chair Personification:

   • Kai: "She's special. She's here. She's queer. We found out she came out of the closet. We're really proud of her." ([01:55])

2. TikTok Debate:

   • Drew: "If you got struck by lightning right now, there'd be no question about it. Like, oh, my God. God just struck you. You're cooked." ([04:58])

3. Brand Sponsorship Critique:

   • Drew: "Can you just let something live in? Like, let somebody just enjoy something?" ([24:30])

4. Screen Time Strategy:

   • Kai: "I'm on a four day streak of not opening TikTok more than five times." ([25:59])

5. 75 Hard Challenge Satire:

   • Drew: "I would consider that abuse to myself. Because why would I work out twice a day?" ([28:34])

6. Red 40 Challenge Initiation:

   • Kai: "I just bought 5 pounds of Red 40 because I feel like I'm not getting enough in my diet." ([50:10])

7. Robotic Warning:

   • Ryan Seacrest (Ad): "Ingesting Red 40 powder, especially in such a large quantity, is not safe." ([54:03])

8. Challenge Execution:

   • Kai: "I thought we could do the Red 40 challenge because, like..." ([51:18])
   • Drew: "So you want us to do this with you?" ([51:50])

9. Final Reactions:

   • Drew: "He sounds like he's dying, Drew. And he's crawling back." ([56:08])

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Conclusions

The "Red 40 Challenge" episode of Emergency Intercom exemplifies the podcast's knack for blending humor with relatable topics and outlandish stunts. Enya Umanzor (Kai) and Drew Phillips lead their co-host Josiah through a series of comedic explorations, from mundane household dilemmas to extraordinary challenges like the Red 40 ingestion. Their dynamic interplay, characterized by playful teasing and exaggerated reactions, keeps listeners entertained throughout.

The episode also touches on relevant themes such as the impact of brand sponsorships, the struggle with screen time, and the allure of self-imposed challenges, all wrapped in a humorous package. Notably, the Red 40 Challenge serves as a central comedic device, highlighting the hosts' willingness to push boundaries for laughs while engaging in light-hearted self-deprecation.

Overall, this episode stands out as a testament to Emergency Intercom's ability to merge humor with contemporary issues, creating a lively and engaging listening experience. Whether tackling serious topics with a comedic twist or embarking on absurd challenges, Kai, Drew, and Josiah deliver a memorable episode that resonates with their audience's sense of humor and relatability.

Transcript

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Drew]

We're back to it.

[Kai]

Yeah, I just didn't feel right in the other chair. Yeah, it just felt blasphemous. So I thought I would be on the floor worshiping my mic God.

[Drew]

Hey, guys, I don't know that I like you on the floor. Like, it feels a little, like, degrading and sad. Oh, if only there was, like, a chair here.

[Kai]

I wish I had a chair.

[Drew]

If only I wasn't looking at, like, the nastiest chair.

[Kai]

I wish there was a chair in here.

[Josiah]

Don't look at me.

[Kai]

Get.

[Drew]

Get the chair.

[Kai]

We are so back, y' all.

[Drew]

Dude, it looks like it got more yellow. Like, in.

[Kai]

In.

[Drew]

Under different lights, it looks different, Different. And under our natural lighting in our kitchen, it looks so much gross.

[Kai]

Yeah, it was in. In the daylight, it looks crazy. Lugging it up the stairs, I saw, like, through the, like, crevices in the pores, and it was just, like, piles of dust, hair, like, dander, like, all this nasty. And, like, I was thinking, I was like, every time, like, I chip a little bit of her off, I'm, like, really, really sad about it, and I'm like, oh, I'm, like, taking a part of her. But then I'm like, no, it builds character. It builds lore. It's, like a part of it. And then later, it's going to be degraded into nothing. But she's special. She's here. She's queer. We found out she came out of the closet. We're really proud of her.

[Josiah]

Yeah, she chair. The chair came out of the closet.

[Kai]

Yeah, she.

[Drew]

Why are you, like, acting like that's that crazy?

[Kai]

Is that a problem?

[Josiah]

Yeah, that's not a problem. I just didn't know that inanimate objects could come out of the closet. Unless you mean a literal Azul.

[Kai]

Hello. Well, Z's not an. No. That answer is the answer.

[Drew]

When's the last time y' all saw her?

[Kai]

Oh, hold up. A random thing, like, on the table in front of you and me, and then you will Tell you if it's straight or gay. That is straight.

[Drew]

I was gonna say it might be a little bisexual at the right. With the right person.

[Kai]

All right, we're already off to a very poor start. We're not locked in.

[Josiah]

What about this beautiful candle?

[Kai]

Gay.

[Drew]

Ew.

[Kai]

That's gay.

[Drew]

I don't. I was gonna say it was straight. I guess we're, like, reading things differently.

[Kai]

Yeah, well, I'm more like, okay, gay people like candles.

[Josiah]

What about this huge.

[Drew]

Okay, okay. Because I was thinking, like, oh, like, it's wick. Wasn't cut every time it was burned, so it's kind of got the sut around it, and I'm like, that's giving. Like a straight guy not really wiping his ass.

[Josiah]

Like, let me try that joke again. What about this huge dildo that's on the table? What is that?

[Drew]

That's straight.

[Kai]

Straight.

[Josiah]

Okay. All right.

[Drew]

Anyways, I have to show you something that I've been holding back from him. I found somebody who you will be obsessed with.

[Kai]

Hey, I'm excited.

[Drew]

But she's like, she didn't blow up. This is no viral moment. It literally is just like, my TikTok feed has been giving exactly what I've been wanting from it, which is just nonsense. Like, nothing. Okay. I followed a random Minecraft account. I had done follow that. So I was watching this lady's TikTok, and she's talking about getting struck by lightning, and I was like, oh, my God, she got struck by lightning. Like, this is insane. I've always wanted to hear someone talk about this. She goes on this long tangent about.

[Kai]

How, like, oh, wait, I saw her.

[Drew]

But did you watch to the end.

[Kai]

Like, her saying she felt like she got hit on the head by, like, someone jumped on top of her?

[Drew]

No. At the end, she randomly starts to plug the fact that she's a psychic medium.

[Kai]

Oh, I did. I did see that.

[Drew]

My powers have grown exponentially.

[Kai]

I believe her all the comments.

[Drew]

Okay, but listen to this. So she goes into describing it, and in her first story time. This is me debunking. I actually don't think she got struck by lightning. But hear me out. She is like, oh, no one was around when it was happening. It was only my husband. My husband thought I was joking when I fell to the floor, which I'm like, your husband thought you were joking. You were just struck by lightning? That's a very visual experience. It's not like, oh, my God, I have a cramp in my life.

[Kai]

Auditory as well.

[Drew]

Yeah. Literally, like, there's no Denying. If you got struck by lightning right now, there'd be no question about it. Like, oh, my God. God just struck you. You're. You're cooked. Like, you're literally fried. She was like, my husband didn't believe me. He thought I was joking. Because she did another story time, and in the original one, she's like, no one else was around. It was just me, my husband. In the second story time, she basically adds in that there were other people on the beach and that they refused to call the ambulance for her because they were like, we don't know what's happening. Like, we don't want to call the police because, like, what's happening? I'm so confused, bitch. You're telling me no one in that vicinity literally saw, like, a flash of light and thought they were going to, like, die?

[Kai]

Like, felt some sort of, like, electrical pulse in their system if they were that fucking close.

[Drew]

Exactly. And I'm just like, girl, I think you just had, like, a minor stroke. And, like, that is serious as fuck.

[Kai]

But then she's like, no, she wants attention.

[Drew]

Yes. She said she got struck by lightning, and immediately her first concern was talking to her husband because she didn't want to annoy him. And I was like, I think if I got shocked by a lightning, that'd be the last thing I'm thinking of.

[Kai]

The patriarchy. Like, we need to bring that shit down.

[Drew]

I know. Like, why can't she just be struck by lightning? Have a moment of peace?

[Kai]

Me and Kai have actively been. We've been down a patriarchy.

[Josiah]

We've been doing a lot of stuff to get rid of it. So thank you, Drew and Kai.

[Kai]

And honestly, like, you're kind of building it, like, back up by not believing a woman.

[Josiah]

Wow. Yeah.

[Drew]

So much for work. Y' all are silencing women. You just silenced me.

[Kai]

It's not very demure. No, wait, hold on, y' all. Y' all, let me cook. Let me cook. Oh, like, demure this, demure that. You smell like manure. Cow. You stink like.

[Josiah]

Wait, let me cook. Call me Humpty Dumpty because I'm broken.

[Drew]

Okay, so did anybody actually win the Danimal sweepstakes, or was that just, like, a big con?

[Kai]

Like, I saw someone that won the icarly sweepstakes.

[Drew]

Yeah, I've seen that. But the Danimal sweepstakes, I'm only bringing up because that audio from it is such a big thing, and it was such a big commercial when we were growing up. Why has no one with the revival of that gotten on and been like, oh, my God, I actually won that. Like, I met them, I went on the cruise because what. What was it they were giving away a cruise also, a cruise is the least convenient prize you can give a child.

[Kai]

Yeah. Like, what are they gonna do to.

[Drew]

Like, go on it?

[Kai]

Like their parents probably on deck one, right?

[Drew]

Yeah, I think so.

[Kai]

I think someone. I saw like a vlog of someone talking about winning a Sleep Sleep or Sweet Life on deck cruise, but I don't know if it's the same as the Danimals one.

[Drew]

Yeah, I guess. Actually, I don't really know what the Danimals want. I think they were gonna take you to Hollywood or something. I don't know.

[Kai]

We're gonna start a sweepstakes. All you have to do is Send me an Ania $20, and we'll fly one lucky fan out to them all day long.

[Drew]

So that's actually illegal. That's like raffling, which is technically considered gambling. So we can't do that.

[Josiah]

That's the problem.

[Kai]

It's a fan. Yeah.

[Drew]

I'm just saying. Well, that's the.

[Josiah]

That's okay. Aren't there other problems? You think that.

[Drew]

What?

[Josiah]

Okay.

[Drew]

Gifting somebody with the pleasure of a.

[Kai]

Lifetime from me and Inya.

[Drew]

From us with me and Drew, like, hello, we might have too many injuries.

[Kai]

And ya and I will randomly just get into conversations because, I mean, obviously, like, we make a bunch of jokes about having sex with each other and we do very frequently do s together. But thinking about.

[Drew]

Used to. But yeah.

[Kai]

Us actually doing s. Like, oh, my God, like, I can't look at her for like 30 minutes because I'm like, that would be the most mortifying experience of my life. And likewise for you.

[Drew]

Yeah. Because to me, like, I can't imagine you actually butt naked. Nasty. Like, it doesn't happen. Like, I just. My brain can't go there. It will.

[Kai]

I'm a never go there. I'm a never nude.

[Drew]

I never. Or what?

[Kai]

Yeah, I don't. I shower fully clothed.

[Drew]

So you blow dry your clothes. Is that why you blow dry?

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Drew still blow dries his body, by the way. If anybody was like, oh, my God, I wonder if Drew's still blow drying his body. He still blow dries his body.

[Kai]

I genuinely don't think that is an abnormal thing. Like, is that actually weird?

[Drew]

I think everybody was like, I've never heard of anybody who does that. That's not a thing. Especially. You didn't see someone doing it and you were like, oh, my God, that's Good.

[Kai]

You just started doing it and it works. Like, it stops the fucking, like, moisture on my body from.

[Drew]

Does it not overheat you or do you just use cool air?

[Kai]

I use the hottest setting on the lowest fan speed.

[Drew]

I feel like that would just make me sweat. Like, that would just make me start to get hot. Because anytime I've gotten out of the shower and I have to like blow dry my hair, I get incredibly sweaty immediately.

[Kai]

I just love hot air. I was thinking, like, I would rather sleep in 100 degree weather than sleep in 32 degree weather. I hate being cold when I sleep. It's horrible.

[Drew]

Like, I'd fully rather be cold because I could just like pile on and get like in my little chamber of like my body heat.

[Kai]

Chamber of secrets. Chamber of love. Willem Dafoe or What's his mag, DeMarco.

[Drew]

What are you talking about? Is it called Chamber of Secrets? That song?

[Josiah]

Chamber of reflection.

[Kai]

Reflection period.

[Drew]

No, wait, what's. You said something else the other day. You still can't say. You say talk to the hand.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

You're like, talk to me. Talk to the. Or the movie is called Talk to me. But my version of that. Let me talk to you. My version of that is saying the challengers instead of challengers. From the very beginning, I have never been able to not reference that movie and say, oh, it's like the challengers. I always add a the to it because it just makes more sense in my head.

[Kai]

Speaking of the challengers, I have something very, very special coming, but I'm not telling any of you about it because it will be leaked and I will.

[Josiah]

Oh, Josh o' Connor being a guest.

[Drew]

Oh, Kai, this is why we don't.

[Kai]

Include you on email chain.

[Josiah]

Yeah, I get it.

[Kai]

Like, wait, I don't think we talked about the demure, like, conversation. Like, oh, that's very demure. Like, no manure.

[Drew]

What do you mean? What are we to talk about that?

[Kai]

Like, hooked and I need my flowers.

[Drew]

It wasn't good. It really wasn't good. Is that what you wrote down the other day? Because Drew wrote down something the other day. He was like, oh, my God, I just came. Oh, no, you told me that was good. He made up his own psyop. But I was scared that that was going to be it because that would have been like a huge, like a huge letdown. Like, so, so bad.

[Kai]

It would have been a flop for sure. But okay, so moving on. I. This is. This is so mean. Like, this is so wicked of me to say. And I know that this is mean girl behavior. And I don't care. It's just how my brain works. And I'm sure a lot of y' all have thought the same thing, but, like, I see horrifying ugly people on my timeline all the time, like, thinking they're sexy hot. And, like, I'm like, respect. Do you. They are hot in a way. Confidence is sexy. Like.

[Drew]

I fear that I see yourself on your timeline.

[Kai]

No, no, I was gonna say I fear that I am that person who, like. Because that picture I posted, I was like, damn, I ate. Oh, yeah. My 100 Jesus band. I am a Neymar fan. I don't even know if that's how you say it's like a name, but it swag like, I ate. And I'm not telling you where I got it because the store actually blew up and everybody inside died, and all of the stock of it burned. Yeah, burned.

[Drew]

Oh, that's so sad.

[Kai]

Yeah, so don't even ask. But then I was thinking. I was like, oh, my God. I am the ugly that thinks he's fine, and that's okay. Like, I. I fully not ugly, though.

[Drew]

You're not ugly. We. We've just reached a point. Like, the. Like, it went from people being like, you're so sexy, to you constantly asking to be called sexy. And then our audience, you. And then stopped calling you sexy because you. Every episode would be like, can I be called sexy? Like, oh, my God, I'm so sexy, but you are sexy.

[Kai]

Well, I don't feel it. I don't feel it because all of y' all call me ugly. I get called stupid every day. Like, o. I feel stupid. Like, I'm ugly and stupid.

[Josiah]

You are sexy, though.

[Kai]

Thank you.

[Josiah]

That photo of you with the bug, Do I have to remind you about that?

[Kai]

No. What photo? I don't know you're talking about.

[Josiah]

Well, I'll insert it, but you look.

[Kai]

Good as I don't know which one it is. Like, can you show me how?

[Drew]

All right, well, you actually don't know.

[Kai]

No, I know. I'm just.

[Drew]

You're so annoying. Oh, also, that picture of the bug, I thought it was your bug, but then I remembered your bug was already.

[Kai]

Yeah, you killed her. Yeah, you killed her.

[Drew]

I saw a cricket at the farmer's market, and I tried to capture. And then I was like, wait, this is literally up. Like, this thing is outside. Let me leave it outside.

[Kai]

It's in a concrete jungle. Oh, yeah, that picture. We'll insert it so they can see it.

[Josiah]

We'll insert it a Couple times.

[Drew]

Okay. I actually have a question for the public. Is it embarrassing for me to be driving around with my windows down and my music really loud? Because I'm starting to feel like it's a little.

[Kai]

It's like. It's like, look at me. Listen to how good my music tasted like.

[Drew]

And that's not even what I mean. I just genuinely love the windows down. But when I get up to another car, I feel so embarrassed. Like, if I'm not in a constant moving state in my car with the windows down, I do feel like people see me and they're like, she wants attention so bad. But I'm like, I'm all alone. Like, I'm not necessarily trying to call attention to myself, but especially because the speakers in my newer car are so loud that I'm like, this feels like I'm trying to make a statement.

[Kai]

It reminds me when I was in high school. I mean, it's like, it's very similar behavior to backpack kid. Like, speaker backpack kid in school. But when I was in high school and I first got my license and I was first, like, discovering music that, like, everybody in my hometown had no idea existed, and I felt so cool, and I was like, I'm better than everybody else. Type B. I would go to the gas station, have all my windows down, and purposefully turn up my radio and leave my door open with the music blasting loud as. Because I wanted everybody in Granbury to be like, wow, he's got music. Good music taste. In reality, everybody wanted to shoot me with a pistol and put me down like a sick dog. Because I am deranged.

[Drew]

That's my thing is I always wonder. I'm like, damn, am I annoying the out of someone? But it's like, common practice. I feel like a lot of people do drive around with their windows.

[Kai]

I was going to say, how do you feel if someone drives next to you?

[Drew]

I'm always interested when they. When I drive next to somebody and their windows are down and I can hear their music, I always listen because I'm like, oh, I wonder what they're listening to. So I'm never like, oh, my God, that's so embarrassing. You think you're that person. Like, oh, my God. You're not that girl. Like, put your fucking windows up. I'm always like, oh, my God, that's such a vibe. They're having, like, the best day ever and inspires me to put my windows down. But just the other day, yeah, I was driving alone by myself and listening to music with the windows I was like, am I embarrassing myself or am I doing the thing that I can make Everything. Everything is embarrassing.

[Kai]

Everything inside a bagel.

[Drew]

What? Oh, sucked into a bagel.

[Kai]

Sucked right into a bagel. Bagel bagels. Pizza bay, Galaxy pizza mustache.

[Drew]

We need to go back to that.

[Kai]

Yeah, I agree. Like, simply, it's coming soon.

[Drew]

Like, like, people are, like, too obsessed with, like, finding the new. I want to be ahead of the curve. I want to, like, oh, trend forecast. Also, we've talked about trend forecasting so much, but when will people realize that people get online and they'll be like, my trend forecast for fall, like, this fall, and they're just referencing things that were on the Runway in spring for fall this year. Like, it's literally. You can't just be like, this is my prediction for the fall, like, trends. And you're just showing me the fall runways from you Mew. Like, I. Yeah, that's going to be actually sold in store. And then you're going to be. Get to be like.

[Kai]

I did that.

[Drew]

And I want. I want the never ending, like, wanting to be onto the next new trend to be over, and I want it to just be simple of, like, yes, we all are going to tattoo a mustache to our finger. Like, that is like, reject modernity, embrace tradition. There was something we were doing the other day that I was like, this is literally me rejecting modernity, embracing tradition. But I can't remember me. Josie and Josh were watching something and I was like, that's what we're actively doing right now.

[Kai]

Damn. Wait, Josiah, come say hi. We haven't seen you in the kitchen in a long time.

[Drew]

Hey, Sing Sing Pink Pony Club for.

[Kai]

And a Pink Pony girl and I dance for the club. That's what I'm up to.

[Drew]

I've been sick for a month, y' all. I feel like I'm dying. Oh, my God.

[Kai]

I'm sorry.

[Drew]

Oh, wait. Did they take the cars out of Fortnite?

[Kai]

No, in, like, two days.

[Drew]

I think they lost me, though.

[Kai]

No, they did. I think it's two days.

[Drew]

Yeah. Two days too long. You were two days too late. Like, I just don't.

[Kai]

I.

[Drew]

It. The magic is gone. It's so sad to think the magic for everything dies. There's a time and a place for everything in the magic for Fortnite. And my heart is gone. It has withered away. Like, it feels like that person I had a relationship with. And it was so good, but I just knew it wasn't meant to last. And, like, I'm like, ah, yeah. I Could go back, but, like, at what cost? I should just leave it what it was. And it was something nice. I just wish I had it so.

[Kai]

But then I like the idea of, like, old heads, like, still making music on, like, and their music sucks, and it's not like they're good old music. So it's just like, why didn't you let your career die when you were at the.

[Drew]

Yeah, just let it fade out.

[Kai]

Yeah, exactly. Just don't let it get back on Fortnite, because your memories will be tainted.

[Drew]

Also, my thing is, I'm. I'm sitting around, I'm like, dude, I was so much happier when I was playing Fortnite all the time, but it was like, no, I just had the perfect way to disassociate and disconnect from my life, and now I don't have that. And that's why my screen time is up. Because all I'm doing is I don't like it too close to my face because then I start to do this and back away from just, like, in my mouth. Wait, pause it in your mouth. Oh, my God, that's crazy. Fucking freak bitch. Oh, patriarchy this, patriarchy that. I like women this. Oh, but I'm gonna make a dick joke. Like, you're a fucking freak.

[Josiah]

My God, I'm uncomfortable. I feel attacked, Drew.

[Kai]

Mm. That's just my day to day. I'm just used to that.

[Drew]

Yeah. And I started giving Drew wedgies, like.

[Kai]

Really swirlies too, but I'm into that. I'm into that. Okay, well, I saw this post of someone being like, have you ever had, like, someone or seen someone, like, talking to someone, or have you ever talked to someone through, like, IG Story songs? And, like, we've talked extensively about this. Like, yeah, of course. Like, that's so fun to do. And, like, whatever. Like, to see the person hear the song. Well, it reminded me of a time when I was pseudo dating, not dating. The scariest on this planet, Creepazoid that invited me to the wedding while we were seeing each other, but. Oh, God, it's so fucking cringy. But I literally made an entire playlist of songs that I like, and the first letter spelled out something. Ah.

[Drew]

Is that playlist still up?

[Kai]

No, I fucking deleted that shit. Ah, it's so cringey. Oh, my God.

[Drew]

No, that's cute. That's cute. I've realized.

[Kai]

And he never caught on. He never really caught on that crazy.

[Drew]

Oh, see, that kind of.

[Kai]

He probably did. He probably did.

[Drew]

You're supposed to analyze it. Don't send me a song because I'm looking at all the lyrics. I'm like, you're crazy.

[Kai]

You want me. This is us.

[Drew]

Like this is literally our story. I miss that. I want to make a playlist for somebody again so bad. Like I'm. But I'm trying to expand my music from just like having it have like personal and like romantic connection. I have a lot of music that has like friendship connection. But I want to start like a, a collaborative playlist with like my sister and like my friends and stuff just to expand that because I usually only make playlists for people when I'm obsessed with them and like yearning hard and I want to be able to like have that same feeling for just like my friends. But I fear it won't ever hit the same. Like it literally will. It just won't be the same. Like, oh, here I go. Like song about friendship and love, blah blah, blah, blah, blah. Like I can share that in person. But there's something so like, oh my God, like this is crazy. They added another song. I get to go listen and analyze it. Like, yeah, if only I had that kind of yearning for like learning and analyzing things that mattered. Right? That's tea, which I'm trying to do because I'm so sad. My life is so hard.

[Kai]

Okay, If I know a man that can do the splits, I'm running the away. Like that is crazy. That is scary behavior. Like literally, stay the fuck away from me. I'm talking to you, Josiah.

[Drew]

Josiah can do a split.

[Kai]

I don't think he can do it anymore, but he used to be able to. But I was just thinking about that. Like I saw a man do the splits on like my feed and I was just like, this is crazy. This is tainted. This is dark sided. This is evil. Like there's something serious.

[Drew]

Why is it crazy? Because like, does that hurt?

[Kai]

No, I'm strictly thinking just like seeing a man, like seeing the bottom of a man's foot, like is a crazy fucking vibe.

[Drew]

Like, oh yeah, you mentioned that because you went to the beach with our friends and you said you saw the bottom of one of our friends feet while he was playing in the water. And you think I've ever seen the bottom of another man's like a grown man's foot?

[Kai]

It's. It was a crazy vibe. But yeah, that's all I have to say.

[Drew]

Well, I saw the most like insidious brand sponsorship ever and I was like, oh my God, brands are getting too smart and like our consumerism is going through the Fudgeing roof. Even on my end. Like, I've tried to hold back from just buying shit that I see on TikTok. Like, specifically, like, if. If I watch, like, a lot of fashion content, and I'll be like, oh, my God, that skirt's so cute. I want something like that. And then I'll go on a deep dive. And I've gotten better about not buying random things just when I'm, like, high in bed, because it can get so easy. But I saw, like, just the way brands are maneuvering now is so insane. Like, how they are hopping onto trends that are just, like, fun play, like, whatever. Like, even, like, the Olympics. Like, a bunch of brands did a bunch of, like, things about the sen. River, like, and about. Like, this one, like, like, river. Yeah, about the poop river. This one skincare brand did a video where their serum drops into the river and it cleans the river because the serum is so good. And then another brand, like, that hot sauce brand, like, had, like, confetti, like, blowing out of the top of the Eiffel Tower. And then, like, this, like, thing fell, and it was their hot sauce, the hot sauce tower, or, like, whatever, and I'm just like, oh, my God, y' all are so fucking annoying. Can you just let something live in? Like, let somebody just enjoy something? The Olympics are already such a money pit of, like, like, brands giving people things, and the people talking about the things they're getting. And Samsung phone and Nike.

[Kai]

This Samsung phone on that goddamn podium was driving me insane. I'm already heavily leaning into getting a Samsung phone. Like, it's my next path. I fear. I think I'm gonna do it soon. But seeing that insidious marketing campaign where it's just, like, ruining these, like, people's moments, like, that they've worked all their lives to be on that goddamn podium, and then they shove a Samsung phone in their face. I'm like, no, see, now you're crossing a line. And I don't fuck.

[Drew]

But that's how I feel people are starting to feel about that. Kind of push from brands is like, okay, this could have just been a moment like this. There was this viral video of this, like, young girl. She's, like, maybe 6 or 7, and she had, like, a tiny purse. And then the brand reached out to her and, like, asked her, like, I. I don't remember what the brand was for. Maybe it was for, like, like, a lip gloss or something. But basically, they scripted out a plot line where I don't know if they picked a random Comment or like someone from the brand made a random account and commented this, but it was like, please do a what's in my bag tour. So then the ad post they ended up posting was a reply to a comment so that it seemed like, oh, this fun thing. But it was literally an ad placement for this brand. Then I was like, dude, this is so fudgeing insane. Everything is a ploy to buy something. Everything is like a moment to buy something. Everything is a market push. Everything is so scary. But then I remember I could just.

[Kai]

Turn off my phone, which I've been really good about recently. The app works, y' all. I am on a four day streak of not opening tick tock more than five times, not opening Instagram more than five times, and not opening YouTube more than five times. I do need to put a limiter on Twitter because I've just kind of been like, using that to fill my time. But my screen time is really good still, like, so good. Like, literally yesterday it was four hours.

[Drew]

So bad.

[Kai]

The day before it was three hours. Like, I'm cooking, y' all. But the one thing that I hate that Apple does is I work. I've been like, sketching on my iPad a bunch recently because I finally figured out what I'm gonna paint on the big canvas that I bought like six months ago. And I bought a projector for it and everything. I'm so excited. But it, like, I've been working on like the a preliminary sketch for like four or five hours over the past, like, day or two. For some reason, my iPad screen time, like, is connected to my phone screen time. So like, right before bed last night, I was like, let's check my screen time before it's midnight. And it was like four hours or something like that. But then, like, right when it hit midnight, it updated and said 9 hours and 6 minutes. And I was like, girl, I was not on my phone for nine hours. But then I look at the apps that were used and I was like, did I just leave my phone open for like five hours? Like, what the hell? But it was procreate and I don't use procreate on my phone. So I was like, girl, this is connected well.

[Drew]

That's like you're taking time off your phone to focus on a different screen.

[Kai]

Yeah, but at least you're like, this video. This video.

[Drew]

My. Actually, I thought my screen time for this is gonna be really bad, but I've been doing a better job of reading for the past two days. I've read 50 pages of two books that I really wanted to start. So that feels really good. Also. That actually leads us to my next thing. The 75 hard challenge cracks me the up. Because one.

[Kai]

This is us. I've been reading, too, a bunch.

[Drew]

Yeah, we've been, like, reading Crazy Boots. Like, we both decide, like, let's go read, and then we read our books, and it feels awesome. But what was cracking me up is the 75 hard challenge. People will be like, my goal is to read for, like, 10 minutes a day. And in my head, I was like, so a page? Yeah, it's like, whoa. Like, I am. I would consider myself, like, a fast reader if I'm enjoying a book. If it's a book that's like, 100 to 150 pages, I could easily finish that book within the day. Within, like, two hours. Like, if I'm really into the book, just, like, picking it up.

[Kai]

Yeah, Actually, I don't. I guess I just don't know how long it takes people to read books, but I was surprised with myself. I literally read 100 pages yesterday while sitting by the pool, and I was like, wait, is that, like, what people do? And it wasn't, like, fake reading where I'm just like. Like, not, like, understanding the words or whatever? Like, I actually was, like, understanding and, like, lock the in?

[Drew]

No, I feel like that's a normal reading pace that actually, like, I would be curious if anybody even thinks that's a slower reading pace, because I feel like when a book really gets you, you can go through it really fast. Like, I think most people are naturally quicker readers than they realize, especially now that we read so much on our phones. Like, all of us have become so good at reading quickly because of subtitles and at least in my head, but 10 minutes a day, I was like, that is crazy. Like, because I guess I like the idea of a 75 hard. But, like, I would never do it to myself because I would consider that abuse to myself. Because why the would I work out twice a day? Twice a day? What am I going.

[Kai]

Arthritis?

[Drew]

I'm about to start building cars with my bare hands. Need to do that twice a day. So a lot of it is really funny, but that just cracks me up. So I'm like. And then the wellness part of 75 hard challenge, I guess, like, technically that working out would be the wellness, but part of it is reading the book, and I'm like, girl, fuck the other work. I'll just read for 45 minutes. Because usually someone 75 hard is, like, working out for anywhere from, like, 45 to an hour, like twice a day. I was like, bro, that is way too much time to be focusing on that. Like, literally, my workouts last 30 minutes. I'm like, damn, I put in the work today and I ran for the first time yesterday. For the first time in so long, especially post being addicted to my puff bar. And I don't know if it was because I chugged a Celsius or what, but I felt like I was going to explode and knock out and.

[Kai]

Well, there's another reason. But, yeah, it's all the nicotine in your blood, bruh.

[Drew]

I've just been frying my brain. I am in such a unhealthy space in my brain and it's been really freaking me out because I'm like, oh, my God, this brain has to work for another, like, 20 years. Like, are you kidding me? No, don't.

[Kai]

60 years, even. Oh, my God. No, no.

[Drew]

Like, this is the brain that has to get me through the rest of my life. Like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I just turned 25 and I'm like, this is it. This is literally it. Like, and it's been enough. Like, my brain, when I turn. When I was turning 25, I was like, oh, that's a funny idea. Like, fuck you.

[Kai]

There goes a couple brain cells, so it's gonna be even more low activated.

[Drew]

I wanted to, like, rip one of your bands off. I was like, those mean so much to you? If I did that, that'd be.

[Kai]

They literally. I almost took them off yesterday. I was thinking about it. I was like, why the fuck do I wear these? They, like, literally don't have meaning.

[Drew]

They collect scum.

[Kai]

This one does. The blue one, because it's like a fortnite bracelet from my birthday. And I felt loved for the first time in my life that day. I typically don't feel that.

[Drew]

Yeah. Everything else, like, all the times I'm like, oh, hey, I love you. Like, I think about you all the time. Yeah, that.

[Kai]

Yeah. Well, speaking of Mary Kill. I got a good one. I got a good one. Fuck Mary Kill. This is for you too, Kai. Equilateral triangle, isosceles triangle or scalene.

[Drew]

You're gonna have to show me a fucking picture. I swear I know what that looks like. I don't know what any of those look like.

[Kai]

And I. There is a right answer. Fuck Mary kill. Oh, there's a right answer.

[Drew]

Okay, I'm killing the equilateral. Like, freaks me out. Yeah, freaks me out too. Good. Like, I feel like I would be like, what's her nuts from, like, girls where I'd be like, oh, you're, like, driving me crazy. Like, I think you're perfect. I hate you. Like, you're giving me too much. You're freaking me out.

[Kai]

For me, it's giving, like, well rounded, like. Like there for you. When you need them the most. They're just, like. They treat everybody equally. Like, that's a Mary.

[Drew]

No, I was gonna say I marry isosceles. Because, yes, like, for the most part, but they're still, like, things we, like, need to get through together. And I feel like we could get through them and, like, one day maybe we could be an equilateral, but for now, we're both isosceles. But the out of this one, how do you.

[Kai]

No way. I'm. Wait, hold on, hold on. We gotta run this back, because I am marrying equilateral. The out of isosceles triangles. Like, I'm laying pipe. And they lay pipe too, so it's like a verse situation.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

And honestly, I'd be averse. Bottom in the case of isosceles triangle. And I'm killing the out of. What is it scaling?

[Drew]

Scaling. I don't know. It's like the blurriest you put. You pulled up the blurriest image I've ever seen.

[Kai]

Why can't I remember what it was? Yeah, scaling. I'm killing. Scaling.

[Drew]

No, I'm scaling. Like, I just feel like they're freaky and kind of bad for me, but, like, the fuck will be lit. Like, the sex will be awesome. It'll be like, a time to remember a lapse in my judgment.

[Kai]

Perhaps it's like a top like, that has the mattress on the floor and their dirty laundry all over the room. Hold on, let me find that picture. It's so funny.

[Drew]

Like, the thing is, you're allowed to have piles of clothes in your room, but fucking hide them. Like, half have some sort of decorum. Like, I. I too, have piles of clothes, but I at least, like, fold them up and, like, push them away so people don't see them. But actually, as I'm saying that, I'm realizing I literally have a bin full of clothes in my room. A whole donation pile and then a whole tailor pile that I haven't touched for six months. I got shirts gifted to me in on Christmas that I was like, I'm gonna get these tailored so they fit. They have been sitting next to my desk for, what is it now, eight months. So.

[Kai]

Right. I can't find the fucking picture, but it's the one of, like, that sexy man in a bed that's a top, and it's really. His room is disgusting. But y' all the people that. Know what I'm referencing, know what I'm referencing. Like, it's a funny picture.

[Drew]

The other people who have gone to.

[Kai]

The gay convention, what is that? Wait, what's gay? What is gay?

[Drew]

The picture of you and, like, a bunch of people liking Jack Donahue's photo. It's like, oh, welcome to the gay convention.

[Kai]

I hate that. That is. Is so fucking horrific. Well, this is something I put a lot of thought into and I genuinely believe, but, like, put me in the Oval Office and I could run this fucking country. Like, a lesbian that runs a McDonald's. Like, I swear to God, Like, I swear to God, I could fucking cook, bro.

[Drew]

Literally, at the first instant, I would probably be like, I don't know. I don't.

[Kai]

No, no, no. I feel like I'm a good mediator. I'm a listener. Like, I, like, talk to people and I hear people. And, like, I give, like, good advice. Like, I don't give good advice, but.

[Drew]

I give it a. I would be fucking terrified. I'd be like, dude, it is like, no, this is not good. But that's how I feel about me, too. Like, if I was the president, I'd be like, no, we're cooked. Like, what? I would have to literally take my, like, vyvans every fucking day. I would be twacked. Like, I would be.

[Kai]

That's literally every president already. But it's fucking actual amphetamines. Like, like, real. Like, just pure amphetamine. No, like, fucking powder. But yeah, No, I know. Like, let's. Let's run it back. Like, I really could run this bitch, like, to freedom. Like, it was like the Stairway of Heaven vibes. Like, I cook. I'd cook. That's all I'm saying.

[Drew]

You think you could solve this country's issues?

[Kai]

Yeah. No, I'm not kidding. I mean, I. We always say this, like, bitch, if everybody had my brain chemistry, we would all be.

[Drew]

Yeah, I actually. I guess I do believe that.

[Kai]

But the problem.

[Drew]

Mean, everybody starts to act fucking normal. Like, being the president means, like, you still have, like, really crazy people to deal with.

[Kai]

No, it's like, more about, like, aura and swag. Like, people would see my aura and my swag and be like, oh, my God, he's so cool. Like, I want to be friends with him. Let's not, like, do bad shit.

[Drew]

I would love if you were the president. Just because the people who don't fuck with you, the amount of photos they would have of you to be like, this is our president.

[Kai]

Me and a fucking diaper. That is the craziest shit I've ever done. But I put on a fucking diaper and tweeted H3H3. Ethan Klein just replied to a random fucking tweet that he has, and it was like, hold on, let me look that shit up.

[Josiah]

Oh, I don't think he knows that.

[Kai]

No, he doesn't.

[Josiah]

He doesn't, right?

[Kai]

No.

[Josiah]

Him offering us the. To host the podcast and not know.

[Drew]

Like, hello, you missed your chances. Yeah, my. My man's here. Shot his shot already. And you ignored.

[Kai]

No, literally, like, you didn't even respond. You didn't even like it. And I know his ass saw it, but he ignored it. It Drew Phillips diaper. I can't find it. Someone posted it recently and was like, this, you twin? And I was like, yes.

[Drew]

Like, oh, yes, it's all right.

[Josiah]

Daddy will find it.

[Kai]

Yes.

[Josiah]

How often do you feel that way about being the president?

[Kai]

What?

[Josiah]

Like, is it okay? Because I've thought about this, and I feel like this is the actual male period, which is, like, for me, it's like, once a month, I'll wake up and I'll be like. Like, I really could be the president and I could fix everything, and then the next day, I'll be like, I want to kill myself.

[Kai]

It's. I mean, I haven't really thought about it too much, but in the last, like, few days, I've. I really do think I've just really.

[Drew]

Been considering his run.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

No, girl, like, literally, like, they found a picture of J.D. vance, like, in quote, unquote drag. But it was just like, whatever. Like, girl, the diaper pictures, like, the, like, split hairline. Like, all that would freak out the.

[Drew]

Well, by the time I'm running you on Facebook Live, Kylie Jenner.

[Kai]

Yeah. It would be Elder millennials that are gonna be, like, dated and, like, annoying. It's gonna be like, oh, that's the millennial, like, idea. But wait, that's crazy to think. And then it'll be Gen Z after that. Wow. But, like, Alpha's gonna be like, y' all are old hags. Like, literally, like, get with the times. Like, we want the diatomaceous algae to be a gender.

[Drew]

What the. Sometimes it's so nice to let you just, like, go on, like, a free form, like, thought train, and just watch where it takes you, because you freak me out. But also, we Understand each other. Because the other night when we were watching. Oh, we were watching car chases on tv, and it was cracking me up, and Josh and Josie were like, you were literally tweaked out right now. Because I kept laughing so hard because I was like, dude, cars are so funny. Like, they're literally just these big missiles, and people just get in them and, like, hit each other and, like, speed around, and, like, other people have to chase them to stop them. Like, they're literally like dogs who, like, got something in their mouth, and they aren't supposed to have it. And Drew came in, and he was like, I fully understand why that's funny. That's literally so funny. And that's why we get along so well, because we both look at something, and we are like, this is too crazy. Cars are so funny. When I'm speeding in my car, I'm like, this is. I shouldn't be allowed to do this. And I'm sitting so still. Like, I'm literally.

[Kai]

It's so casual, too. Like, it's like chapel roan playing in the background. And you're going, you're speeding. Like, it's crazy.

[Drew]

Cause after midnight, o.

[Kai]

And I know, but the man period thing is real. But I think it happens, like, every, like, five years that we, like, go through it. Like, it's like. Like, we start buying motorcycles, and, like, that's when, you know, a man is on his period. Like.

[Drew]

Well, I think once a man hits, like, 32, he starts literally losing his mind. Like, I think that's, like, the losing way before that.

[Kai]

Yeah, it's literally, like, now, like, 2000, when you're 21.

[Josiah]

I think when you turn 18, 26. I started losing my mind because I was like, oh, next year, I' be 27. And then 27, I was like, there's a Kurt Cobain year. And then 28, I was like, oh, I'm getting close to 30.

[Kai]

Speaking of Kurt Cobain year, I'm thinking of my dead brother.

[Josiah]

Oh.

[Kai]

My brother died when he was 27. And my grandpa. My dead grandpa.

[Drew]

He was 27?

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

And you knew him?

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

How old is. Wait, no, that. That actually doesn't make sense. Wow.

[Kai]

I lost a lot of lives. Life.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

It's crazy. And no one seems to care.

[Drew]

I mean, we care.

[Josiah]

No, dude, we care, and we're here to.

[Drew]

I care. I literally. I have always cared. I went to the party. I care.

[Kai]

It's not a party, bruh. Opium son or brat daughter?

[Drew]

Oh, my God. At my mom's funeral, the guy who I used to buy stolen electronics from. Literally at my mother's funeral. Came up to me in a corner and was like, sat. I was on the floor crying with my friends. And he came and he was like, like, hey, like, I'm so sorry about everything. I was like, yeah, no, it's, it's. It's okay. Thank you. And he goes, what laptop do you have right now? And I was like, what? And then he was like, which MacBook do you have? And I was like, I just. I just got a new one. He was like, okay, because I have the one with the touch thing. If you want it, it's in the car. And then I was like, I just bought that one. And he was like, okay, okay. He was like, and your camera, like, your camera's good still. And I was like, yes, my camera is good. And like us having this conversation with like a dead body in the next room. Like that.

[Kai]

Only a dead body. But it was your other, like, crazy vibes.

[Drew]

Like, really crazy vibes. And honestly, respect. Like, I don't even look back at that. Like, people could be like, that's so up. But I look back at that and I'm like, honestly, for some people, the grind just absolutely doesn't stop. Like, they can't see their job. I hadn't seen him in a while and he was like, dude, fuck, I should put that laptop in the car. Because any might want a new laptop, even despite everything happening. Actually, it may make her happy.

[Kai]

Even I would laugh about it.

[Drew]

Yeah, she will laugh about it. And then he was like, when did you. And then I. He tried to convince me to return my laptop and buy it from him. Him. Because he was like, I could give you a really good deal. Like, how much did you spend on it? I was like, I don't know, I don't remember. He's like, because I could give it to you for like a thousand. Like, you're going through it. Like, I'll give you.

[Kai]

Meanwhile, he got it for free.

[Drew]

I know, Literally.

[Kai]

Okay, but Opium center. Brat daughter.

[Josiah]

Brat daughter.

[Drew]

None. I don't want kids.

[Kai]

If you had to choose.

[Drew]

Brat daughter. I don't want a son. Boys are so boring. Like, what am I gonna talk to my 14 year old son about? Like, literally, what am I gonna talk to you about? Like, there's nothing. There is nothing to. I have no idea what you're. What's happening in your brain and it's like, not fun. Like, what are you gonna be like? Oh, I like a girl. Like, oh, boo. Tell. I don't know, tell someone who gives a. Like, don't tell me that, like, I want a daughter if I'm gonna have a kid, period.

[Kai]

Yeah, I. I actually want an opium son.

[Josiah]

Really?

[Kai]

Yeah. But I don't think y' all are. I'm saying, like, addicted to opium.

[Josiah]

Oh, why would you. Why would you manipulate us? And, like, we. We obviously.

[Kai]

It's funny how you wouldn't want to help a child that is addicted to a drug.

[Drew]

I really wouldn't, though. Like, I wouldn't want to be in that position actually.

[Kai]

Up.

[Josiah]

I would help.

[Drew]

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful boy. Like the movie.

[Kai]

That's a good one. That's a good one. Well, I was peeing at. Where were we? Oh, at our gym. I was peeing and like, like their univers, urinals that are, like, right next to each other. And a dude was standing at one of them. And I walked up to the one next to him and started peeing. And I, like, heard, like, a sound that I had never heard coming from, like, someone peeing at the urinal before. And it sounded, like, really low to the floor. And I was like, girl, what the. He left and walked away. He literally just pissed all over the floor. And there was like a puddle of piss. Piss right where he was standing. And it was like, doing that thing where, like, the water is, like, inching towards. Yes. And I, like, literally had to run away. And I was like, holy. I just saw like, a serial floor pisser. Because, like, guys know, like, there's always like a puddle of piss, like, right beneath the urinal. And you're like, who the is doing that? How is that happening? And I found someone that did it. And he was a very looking, normal looking dude. Like, he was. He wasn't like some creepazoid.

[Drew]

That's how he gets his rocks off. He's like, creepy, crazy. Damn. A piss on the floor if I.

[Kai]

Might as well piss on the floor.

[Drew]

I love pissing on the floor outside. Like, I love, like a good, like, pop and squat. Like, oh, it's so fun. Like, that's honestly my dream. If I'm out at night and it's like, oh, there's no public bathrooms. Like, I. It is now my mission to find somewhere where I could pee behind a tree. Like, I want to do it so bad. It's so fun. It literally. It's so freeing. Also, I hate unisex bathrooms with a urinal in it. That to me, like, sting. Why must I suffer? Why must I suffer? I hate going to, like, a bathroom and there's a urinal there. It makes me so mad. Urinals piss me off. They are so disgusting. It's just facing me. Like, it's looking at me. Like, I'm looking at the porcelain that has had piss all over. It's like its mouth is open. Like, there's no covering it. Like, we need to make a little lid or something. Like, there needs to be. Yeah, there needs to be a lid there. Like, it is so crazy. But also, I need to take a shot at pissing in a urinal because I feel like that would be, like, a fun experiment.

[Kai]

It.

[Drew]

And I feel like I could do it. Like, I really feel like I could do it. But we don't have to talk about that because, like, that gets into details that I would never want in public. Yeah, that's my story, period.

[Kai]

Okay, well, I got this email the other day that I thought was a troll when I first saw it. But then I reread it and I was like. And I saw. I did. Because I didn't see that the email included photos, and it says. Says it's from this random dude. Oh, wait, I think I just got got. Yeah, I got got. Damn.

[Drew]

What? Let me see.

[Kai]

Basically, it's. I received this scary mangled picture along with an email. Now, I don't know if you have something to do with this, but I'm a man of God and will not take such evil actions lightly. If you know what this could possibly mean or indicate, please get back to me at this email address. Let me know if you need anything. And then they included this and this picture of me with my email address, and then they sent the photo. But I zoomed in on his profile picture, and he's just a troll.

[Drew]

But, dude, that picture is so funny.

[Kai]

It's so scary.

[Drew]

Did you do that?

[Kai]

I didn't do that. They. They made it and sent it to me.

[Drew]

Oh, wait, so I thought you made that and that's why you posted it. Like, I thought you were just bored and you mangled your face like that.

[Kai]

No, someone. I got it from an email from Rupert Snow.

[Drew]

Rupert Snow?

[Kai]

Yeah, the person that just sent that email that I read. But no. Yeah, that photo literally cracked me up when I saw it because it's so fucking scary. Boots.

[Drew]

Well, I think apartments should have to legally change the toilet seat before I move in, because I just think that piss, like, stays there, like, permeates it. Just, like, it literally, like, inhales, like, plastic to me. Inhales. That kind of stuff. So the idea that anybody is, like, I could clean that thing with bleach all I want, but somebody else's dirty ass cheeks have sat on that. Like, that is so gross. And then even when I'm in the bath, sometimes I'm like, ew, somebody's nasty butt has been on this bath. I've literally cleaned that bathtub countless times even before I get in it. Like, I'll give it a good wipe down. And I'm just like, ew, somebody else is just laid in here in their filth. And then I'm like, oh, my God, if they had a dog, they, like, wash their nasty, dirty ass dog in here. Like, dogs are so dirty.

[Kai]

And like, dogs. I'm canceling dogs. I'm not kidding. All dogs are canceled. Like, they're not going to heaven. Like, dogs are over.

[Drew]

They're dirty. They're literally dirty. And they stink. Like, they have such a stench to them. But I guess I can't talk because when Azul opens her mouth next to me, I'm like, oh, my God, bro.

[Kai]

Bro, his mouth smells like your vagina. You're by giant.

[Drew]

No, dude, Aul's mouth permeates like infinite tuna. Like, it is infinite tuna in butt. And like, oh. And then I hate when Aul puts her butt in my face. I'm like, get that away from me. And is that a thing? Like, why do cats put their butt in your face? Like, is it cuz they want you to lick?

[Kai]

They're like, I think. I literally think it is. Like, please, can you stimulate my butthole so I can? Like, because that's what like. Like moms do to kittens. They like, lick their kittens buttholes to make them poop.

[Drew]

Well, that is what I did to you when we first started living.

[Kai]

Well, yeah, because I was constipated. You haven't done it in a few years.

[Drew]

I mean, well, cuz it got tiring. And every time, like when we moved in.

[Kai]

Health matter, y' all.

[Drew]

When we moved in together. I know everyone's seen the video surprising me, but what the video didn't follow is that I had to pick him up and go into the house and put him on the toilet like you would do with a cat with a litter box. When you put them on the litter box the second they come in your house so they know where they have to poop. And I did that with Drew, and he still missed all the time. Like, I would wake up and there'd be like a turd under the kitchen table.

[Josiah]

That's really gross.

[Kai]

Yeah. Also, like, I like People think, like, oh, like, Drew just likes having his ass eaten out. Like, no, I need. Like, Inya needs to do it. It's like a medical necessity.

[Josiah]

Like, so disgusting.

[Kai]

Yeah. Kai, you're next, so don't play around.

[Drew]

I know. When's the last time you pooped?

[Kai]

No, no, no. I'm saying he's eating me next. He's eating. He's eating my box.

[Josiah]

I probably do a good job at.

[Drew]

What is that?

[Josiah]

Is that powder?

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

I thought it was clay.

[Kai]

It's five pounds of red 40.

[Drew]

Have you been like, are you serious?

[Kai]

Yes.

[Josiah]

What is that for?

[Kai]

I just bought it. Like, I've just been sprinkling Red 40 on all of my meals because I was like, I feel like I'm not getting enough in my diet. It. So I just bought £5 of it. How much? Literally, Wuhan China. I'm not kidding. Like, I literally bought it from Wuhan.

[Josiah]

You should open the bag, though.

[Drew]

Wait, how do you even get that?

[Kai]

I tied it too tight. I can't get it open.

[Drew]

Well, cuz you were thinking we were going to.

[Kai]

I know y' all are going to steal my. Like, y' all want it so bad. This is my red 40, dude.

[Josiah]

Nobody wants that.

[Kai]

Stay the away from my red 40.

[Drew]

No one. No one is touched it.

[Josiah]

I don't care about that object.

[Kai]

But, yeah, I got it to sprinkle on my meals. And then I was, like, thinking, oh, you know what we could do? Oh, are you okay?

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Did that poke your eye?

[Drew]

No, it, like, sprinkled all over my face.

[Kai]

Whatever. I'm just ripping in. Might be a bad vibe, but I decided that I was like, oh, Instead of. Of doing the cinnamon challenge, I thought we could.

[Josiah]

Your hands are shaking.

[Kai]

Holding them.

[Josiah]

You're so nervous.

[Kai]

I thought we could do the Red 40 challenge because, like.

[Josiah]

You want to do the Red 40 challenge?

[Kai]

Yeah, like a teaspoon or a tablespoon of red 40.

[Drew]

That can't be good for you.

[Josiah]

That's gonna be so bad. You're Alzheimer's cancer.

[Drew]

Your hands are already red.

[Kai]

You can have 3.1 milligrams of of red 40 per pound in your body. I looked it up. Oh, my God, it is dying me red already.

[Drew]

Your fingers are red.

[Josiah]

So you want us to do this with you?

[Drew]

I'm not doing that.

[Josiah]

I, like, I'll do whatever Drew says, but I don't want to do it.

[Kai]

You're gonna do it.

[Josiah]

What is it? Does it have a smell?

[Kai]

Look at that color, dude.

[Drew]

What does it smell like?

[Kai]

Like, literally nothing.

[Drew]

What's fucked up is my, like, animal brain is literally wanting it to smell like hot chips so bad. Like, oh, like, my mouth is watering at the idea that this was talky powder. Why wouldn't you just buy taki powder?

[Kai]

Because I wanted Red 40. Let me see if I can wash this off my hands first before I put this inside of my mouth and can't get it off.

[Drew]

Oh, my God. Drew, we need to get you empty capsules, and we need to put it into capsules, so you take your red 40.

[Kai]

My daily. That's my daily.

[Drew]

Like, this is. The problem is Drew doesn't buy himself anything of value. This is what Drew buys. Like, how much was this?

[Kai]

I want y' all to guess. 5 pounds of red 40.

[Drew]

Oh, that had to have been, like, $70 at least.

[Josiah]

Kai, the red 40. It's 5 pounds, $46, 111.

[Kai]

Yeah, but it was from Wuhan.

[Josiah]

Okay, you mentioned that.

[Kai]

That, like, it was. It was. I mean, like, it was.

[Drew]

What is Red 40? Is it, like, crushed beetles?

[Kai]

I think it's, like, petroleum and crushed beetles.

[Drew]

Red 40 challenge. Red 40. Challeng, y' all.

[Kai]

I can't do it.

[Drew]

No, do it. Do it. Come on. You talking all that big game.

[Kai]

I don't. I really don't think I can.

[Drew]

Like, should we put it in the cottage cheese?

[Kai]

I mean, I've been putting it on.

[Josiah]

I want to make sure you're gonna be okay.

[Kai]

Yeah, Google it real quick.

[Josiah]

Let me. Let me look this shit up.

[Kai]

Because I googled it, and it was like, you can consume 3.1 milligrams per pound of body weight. And I was like, if I do a tablespoon, you should be fine. But, like, also, is it gonna stain my mouth and teeth?

[Josiah]

My friend just bought 5 pounds of red 40 concentrate powder, and he wants to do basically the cinnamon challenge challenge, but with Red 40, and he's gonna take a tablespoon and swallow it. Like the cinnamon challenge, but with red 40 powder. Is that safe? Is he gonna be okay?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Ingesting Red 40 powder, especially in such a large quantity, is not safe. Red 40 is an artificial food dye that, while approved for use in small amounts in food, can cause serious health issues if consumed in large quantities. Taking a tablespoon of it could potentially cause severe reactions, including but not limited to, nausea, vomiting, allergic reactions, and possibly even more severe consequences depending on the individual's sensitivity. Your friend should not attempt this challenge. It could be very dangerous.

[Kai]

Op.

[Josiah]

I know it seems fine.

[Drew]

Yeah, well, you should.

[Kai]

That's just a fucking Robot.

[Drew]

The way Drew's been prepping for this, like some people prep for the Olympics.

[Kai]

Yeah, dosing it like, you know the people that were dosing E. Coli before getting into the Times River. Yeah. Yeah. All right. I think I'm gonna heed all warnings and just do it because I feel like that stupid fucking robot can't tell me what to do. And I'm also like a human being and it's a robot.

[Drew]

Yeah, I was gonna say I feel like you're just like being a little stubborn and if it's a safety hazard, then you just shouldn't do it.

[Kai]

But like I was saying, I've been micro dosing Red 41 my entire life. And especially like for the weeks leading.

[Josiah]

Up to this, like an order of magnitude more red 40. So your body might reject it.

[Kai]

You're like an order of magnitude more gay when you like, talk.

[Drew]

When you say it like that. I kind of agree. And I think you should.

[Josiah]

Oh, you agree with him. All right.

[Drew]

Are you okay? It was everywhere. It's like in the air. I think he's fine. He just had to wash his face.

[Josiah]

He's fine.

[Drew]

No, he's fine.

[Josiah]

That. He sounds like he's dying, Drew. And he's crawling back.

[Drew]

He's. You're.

[Josiah]

I'm looking out for him.

[Drew]

You're gonna make. It's a placebo. You're gonna make it worse. Drew, you're fine. Just get up. Yeah, you're gonna.

[Kai]

Good.

[Drew]

Oh my God, it stained you. He's been prepping for months. Just leave him alone. Drew. Just get here. Hey, hey.

[Josiah]

He's not in his body right now.

[Drew]

Get back.

[Josiah]

Oh, he seems happy.

[Drew]

See, it's like back to the old Drew. You're like nothing ever.

[Kai]

Simon a man.

[Drew]

Oh.

[Kai]

I'm all right, Drew.

[Josiah]

Well, it's time to get back to work and. Cuz we got ads and whatever.

[Kai]

I'm just end up telling you. What?

[Drew]

Yes. Yes, he's happy. Actually, it might have done good. Like a lot of people are like, oh, SSRI, blah, blah, blah. But like, I think the Red 40 challenge might make you happy. Look how happy he looks. He's happy.

[Josiah]

He looks miserable. He looks. He's going to throw up again. He already threw up before. I'm just saying. I'm looking at. I'm looking at.

[Drew]

Well, the red 40, it's like charcoal, so it cleansed his system. Should we just get into media?

[Josiah]

Yeah, he'll come too.

[Drew]

He'll come too.

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Drew]

He just needs a nap. He's been up long.

[Josiah]

Like okay.

[Drew]

It's already, like, 2pm he's been up since.

[Josiah]

You might need, like, an I.V.

[Drew]

Remember last time he did this on the sidewalk? And I was right. I was like, just. He'll be fine.

[Josiah]

Yeah, fine. He ended up powering through that.

[Drew]

Yeah. So he'll get through this. It's fine. Okay. Oh, okay. My media of the week is. Oh, hey. Like, the thing is, you're putting a lot of attention on it, and if you just let it go, he would be fine, and you're making it worse.

[Josiah]

I'm putting attention on something that is important.

[Kai]

Him.

[Drew]

I guess the behavioral issues thing with Red 40 was right.

[Josiah]

Yeah. All right, well, he's mad at me, so now I don't really give a if he lives or dies.

[Drew]

Okay. Attack. Attack. Dude, you're going to be stained for, like, the rest of the day.

[Kai]

Your mom is gonna be stained inside my.

[Drew]

Did it taste good, though?

[Kai]

No, it actually tasted hella good.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Like, it tastes, like, really good.

[Drew]

It smelled good when it, like, came out of your mouth.

[Kai]

Yeah.

[Drew]

No, it was you actually trying to swallow it all.

[Kai]

Yeah, it just, like, dried out all my mouth, though.

[Drew]

I never even did, like, any of those challenges. Like, the cinnamon challenge.

[Kai]

You want to try the Red 40 challenge?

[Drew]

I think. I think it's, like, your thing, and you brought it to the episode, so I don't want to, like, steal your shine. It'd be like the songs all over again. Like, I just don't want to do that again.

[Kai]

No, I genuinely, like, feel so. Okay. Like, I actually feel enlightened. Borderline. There was, like, a moment there.

[Drew]

It's like ayahuasca. It's kind of like an ayahuasca.

[Kai]

Yeah, yeah, it was. There was, like, a moment there where I was, like, seeing colors.

[Drew]

Should we do media? We should do media.

[Kai]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Drew]

Let's do media. I watch.

[Kai]

I want to go to the hospital.

[Drew]

Okay. I'm not doing that. You already.

[Kai]

Please.

[Drew]

No, you wanted to do it, and you sit with that. I'm not taking you to the hospital, actually. Take yourself to the hospital if you want to go so bad.

[Kai]

I'm actually scared.

[Drew]

My media of the week is Jacqueline Novak's stand up was really, really funny. What's it called? I actually can't believe how stained my lips are from, like, putting that on my lips. Like, it's kind of jarring how strong Red40 is. Get on your knees by Jacqueline Novak was really funny. Such a good watch. And then my music media of the week is literally. I've just Been listening to a bunch of Chapel Rome. That's like basically it. And then the three songs, I've still. I've just been back to playing like the same four songs on repeat. And it's Can't Do a Thing by Chris Isaac, you Make Loving Fun by Fleetwood Mac, Summer Breeze by Seals and Crofts and the Boy Wonders by Aztec Camera. And that's my fucking media.

[Kai]

Mine is red 40 night. Red 40 cruising. Red 40.

[Drew]

Okay.

[Kai]

The red 40. And the pure of the red 40 damned by 100 tricks point. Red 40 never and red 40 Iggy pop. Red 40. The red 40. Snow queens of Texas red.

[Drew]

You're saying red 40 a lot. Post what? Oh, never mind.

[Kai]

Red 40 mamas and red 40 papas. Red 40. This is the Spinal Tap red 40 movie.

[Josiah]

Mine is Bell and Sebastian. Dude, you should go to the hospital. We should go. We should take.

[Kai]

Yeah, I really. I really want to because you're so.

[Josiah]

Skin looks very pale and you're.

[Drew]

Y' all can go. Why are you looking at me? Y' all can go. I have to do after this.

[Kai]

It's just like you're my friend and earlier you said that you like I'm your co host.

[Josiah]

That was up. I'm serious.

[Drew]

And that's your employee. That's not your friend.

[Josiah]

I'm more than an employee.

[Kai]

Say, will you take me to the hospital? Are you my friend?

[Drew]

He said no.

[Kai]

I'm all alone.

[Drew]

That's why they made Uber. Am I wrong? Am I so wrong? That's why they made Uber. Uber.

[Kai]

Red 40 Uber, please.

[Drew]

Red Fuber.

[Kai]

Drew Psyop Corner. Y' all thought y' all didn't get it. I thought you didn't get a Drew Sci F corner. Red 40. Because I will put one on for you right now. Red 40. All that crying we did at your graduation for you just to do DoorDash. I banned five people from the podcast today just to remind you all that life isn't fair. I ordered a three finger combo from Canes and all they gave me was chicken Chick Fil A Tastes like they used the pussy of the bird. Okay, pussy part of the bird. What if they released a freaky version of AirPods where they started licking the inside of your ears when they were were low batteries? Women are cute until they pull out a cigarette. Never mind. That's my mechanic girls. My baby is so smart.

[Drew]

Wait, was that one.

[Kai]

No, no, I just. I don't like saying. But it's what's written down. My baby is so smart. Me. Oh, what's your Birthday little man. Him cereal. I see so many people have 444 tattooed on them, girl. Wendy's is not that good.

[Drew]

Is the four for four still a thing? Thing?

[Kai]

I think so. I think it's the biggie bag now. Most disrespectful you can do is ask me for a Reese's cup. Only two come in the pack. Leave me the alone looks maxing this looks maxing that. I'm trying to climax. Someone lick my balls.

[Drew]

Hello? You're stalling.

[Kai]

No, something actually seriously is not right. I was just paralyzed. I was just fucking paralyzed. I was just fucking paralyzed. I was just paralyzed. I was just paralyzed. I was just paralyzed. No, guys, seriously, I was just paralyzed. Someone, please. Please, someone help me. I was just paralyzed.

[Drew]

Please, please, please, please, please.

[Kai]

I was just paralyzed, guys. No, seriously, this is not good. This is not good. This is not good. Please, someone help me. Please, please, please, please, someone help me. I was just paralyzed. Look at me. Look at me. Give me, give me water.

[Drew]

Water, water, water.

[Kai]

Please.

[Drew]

Dude, that's my favorite video ever. Do you know what he's arguing about?

[Josiah]

No.

[Drew]

There's this kid who he was at a smoke session with all his friends and his friends started recording because he was stuck like this. I think he was like. I was just paralyzed. Please. Oh, no, no, no, no. Please call the police. You just did it so good.

[Kai]

I was just paralyzed. I was just paralyzed. Someone, please. Because I've been that kid before, bro.

[Drew]

Oh, my God. Okay, well, thanks for listening, guys. This was a freaking treat.

[Kai]

I didn't do it. Yeah.

[Drew]

I think the camera's been off.

[Josiah]

Really?

[Kai]

No, that scared the out.

[Drew]

No, like off kilter. Like it's not this way enough, but.

[Kai]

Oh yeah, kind of. Great. Kai can fix it.

[Josiah]

Oh, great. Yeah.

[Kai]

Now just in ya. This is another Drew style. Or this is Drew Stand up Inya. More like Dick's Gazinia. Now. Now we kiss. Now we kiss.

[Drew]

Oh, we're supposed to kiss after that joke? Please.

[Kai]

No, dude, no. One more, one more. I didn't feel good enough. The Rev 40 makes me feel numb to. Ah, not my headband.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and safeway. Now through June 24th, score hot summer savings and earn four times the points. Look for in store tags on Items like Pepsi 2 liter bottles, poppy prebiotic sodas, all laundry detergent and Kinder's seasoning blend. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event long savings. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in store or online for easy drive up and go, pickup or deliver free, subject to availability restrictions. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details.