she's not coming to my house

Summary

Emergency Intercom Podcast Summary: "She's Not Coming to My House"

Release Date: December 20, 2024
Hosts: Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips
Podcast Description: Emergency Intercom is a comedy podcast where Enya (India) and Drew navigate various humorous and often absurd topics, ensuring listeners are entertained with their sharp wit and candid conversations.

---

1. Holiday Plans and Christmas Stress [00:45 - 01:32]

The episode kicks off with India expressing her reluctance to participate in Christmas festivities this year.

• India: "I'm not feeling good. Oh, there she is. I just, I don't want to do Christmas this year, so." [01:00]
• Drew: "Oh, so you're a Scrooge, eh? Yeah, you're Scrooge." [01:08]

India humorously relates her aversion to Christmas with being "Scrooged up" and hints at household chaos with a malfunctioning candle.

2. Safety Concerns and Household Hazards [01:32 - 02:41]

The conversation swiftly shifts to safety, where India shares a moment of panic thinking there might be a gas leak, only to realize it was due to nearby explosions at a ski resort.

• India: "Earlier that, like, today, I was convinced we had a gas leak, but that's because there's been all those, like, explosions and that thing at that ski resort." [01:32]
• Drew: "So did you see the carbon monoxide poisoning in Virginia or Georgia?" [01:35]

They discuss the confusion between the U.S. state of Georgia and the country, adding to the comedic misunderstanding.

3. Bathroom Dynamics and Vaping Mishaps [02:11 - 03:11]

India delves into her bathroom habits during her period, fearfully restricting Drew from entering the bathroom, turning it into a comedic battleground.

• India: "One thing about me is I will blow the bathroom up and literally get terrified at anybody who walks by because I'm like, are you going in there? You shouldn't go in there." [02:14]
• Drew: "I want to smell what you had cooked." [02:20]

A humorous exchange ensues about Drew's silent visits to the bathroom and India's protective measures over her vape, highlighting their playful dynamic.

4. Aliens and Conspiracy Theories [03:02 - 07:18]

The hosts transition to a discussion about the perceived "flop" of alien revelations, with Drew expressing cynicism over the slow revelation by extraterrestrials.

• Drew: "Alien flopped. They flopped as fuck. I'm not even kidding. They've been waiting since 20 the drone." [03:15]
• India: "I don't believe in aliens still." [04:09]

Their banter touches on popular conspiracy theories, blending skepticism with humor.

5. Pop Culture Chatter: Music and Movies [06:14 - 24:59]

India and Drew delve into various pop culture topics, including celebrity references and movie scenes, particularly focusing on the movie "Call Me by Your Name."

• Drew: "We're tired of these sequels, like coming up with new bunk ass stories." [21:10]
• India: "That is such an interesting way to show, like, sexual tension between two characters." [08:10]

They critique and humorously dissect iconic movie moments, leading to discussions about other films like "Monsters, Inc." and "Toy Story 2."

6. Social Media Overload and TikTok [14:00 - 17:55]

The conversation shifts to the tumultuous landscape of social media, particularly focusing on TikTok's potential ban and its impact on users and businesses.

• Drew: "TikTok is getting banned as fuck. And, like, actually, I don't think it really is." [15:00]
• India: "I remember I thought it was the end of the world when, like, vine was dying down." [16:01]

They debate the sustainability of social media platforms and speculate on future trends, highlighting the rapid evolution and transient nature of digital spaces.

7. Flat Earth Theory Debates [46:43 - 51:29]

A heated yet comedic debate arises around flat Earth theories, with Drew recounting the story of a prominent flat Earther's failed expedition to Antarctica.

• Drew: "He was like, well, guys, I'm a man, so I can admit when I'm wrong." [47:45]
• India: "I have such cognitive dissonance because of so many of these things." [20:46]

The hosts explore the persistence of conspiracy theories in modern society, blending skepticism with satirical commentary.

8. Humorous Take on Raising Kids [61:03 - 64:21]

India and Drew humorously speculate on parenting, envisioning absurd scenarios of raising children with minimal intervention.

• Drew: "I'm having kids as... I want to put it in a spherical dome and put it in a cage with either a bunch of apes, orangutans, or tigers." [61:21]
• India: "I don't think I'm gonna have kids. That's just not in my car." [62:13]

Their playful imagination highlights the challenges and humorous thoughts surrounding parenthood.

9. Accents and Pronunciations [37:55 - 38:45]

An amusing segment on the pronunciation of "Melbourne" underscores their comedic approach to everyday topics.

• Drew: "Melbourne. Like, what?" [38:14]
• Josiah: "I feel like Americans say Melbourne." [38:03]

Their light-hearted take on accents adds a relatable touch to the episode.

10. Personal Anecdotes and Office Humor [55:16 - 60:05]

The hosts share personal stories and office humor, including Drew's mishaps during a photoshoot and humorous exchanges about their appearances.

• Drew: "I have this big hole. I need the photographer to see because, like, really, like, it might have been sinister." [12:57]
• India: "She was so just... But I have such like cognitive dissonance because of so many of these things." [50:25]

These segments showcase their chemistry and ability to turn mundane experiences into comedic gold.

11. Conclusion and Holiday Wishes [58:55 - 64:21]

As the episode draws to a close, the hosts extend holiday greetings, mixing sincerity with their characteristic humor.

• India: "I hope everyone has happy holidays. Whatever you celebrate, I hope you get to be with your family or your chosen family." [63:53]
• Drew: "No, thank you. Enjoy your holidays. Peace and love." [64:08]

They wrap up the episode with heartfelt wishes, maintaining their comedic flair until the end.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• India: "I'm scrooged up and I'm ready to get wicked." [01:12]
• Drew: "TikTok is getting banned as fuck." [15:00]
• India: "I have such like cognitive dissonance because of so many of these things." [20:46]
• Drew: "I'm having kids as... I want to put it in a spherical dome and put it in a cage with either a bunch of apes, orangutans, or tigers." [61:21]
• India: "I think our generation is gonna have earlier onset and dementia because there's too much we consume on a day to day basis to remember." [07:01]
• Drew: "The poop year aliens flopped. They flopped as fuck." [03:15]

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Key Insights and Themes

• Humor in Everyday Struggles: The hosts adeptly turn common frustrations, like holiday stress and bathroom inconveniences, into comedic conversations that resonate with listeners.

• Skepticism of Conspiracy Theories: While often the subject of humor, the hosts express genuine skepticism towards theories like the existence of aliens or the flat Earth theory, reflecting broader societal debates.

• Navigating Social Media Overload: Their discussions on platforms like TikTok highlight the challenges and transient nature of social media, emphasizing the constant evolution and user fatigue.

• Pop Culture Critique: Through their candid opinions on movies and celebrities, the hosts offer a lighthearted critique of the entertainment industry, blending nostalgia with present-day commentary.

• Personal and Relatable Banter: Sharing personal anecdotes and office humor fosters a sense of camaraderie and relatability, allowing listeners to connect with the hosts on a deeper level.

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Conclusion

"She's Not Coming to My House" exemplifies Emergency Intercom's blend of humor, candidness, and relatability. Through a series of interconnected topics—from holiday plans and social media woes to conspiracy theories and personal mishaps—Enya (India) and Drew Phillips create an engaging narrative that entertains while offering sharp comedic insights into contemporary life. Notably, their ability to weave notable quotes and humorous exchanges with thoughtful commentary ensures that both regular listeners and newcomers find value and amusement in the episode.

Transcript

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[Drew]

Hey, guys. Just me today. India's feeling a little sick under the weather. She's not feeling good. Oh, there she is.

[India]

I, I, it's, I, it's, I'm not, it's not that I'm sick. I just, I don't want to do Christmas this year, so.

[Drew]

Oh, so you're a Scrooge, eh? Yeah, you're Scrooge.

[India]

I'm scrooged up. I'm Scrooged up and I'm ready to get wicked. Also, this is about to blow up the house. It's like this candle that's only meant to be sitting down and not actually carried around. And also earlier that, like, today, I was convinced we had a gas leak, but that's because there's been all those, like, explosions and that thing at that ski resort.

[Drew]

So did you see the carbon monoxide poisoning in Virginia or Georgia?

[India]

Yeah, yeah.

[Drew]

12. Yeah.

[India]

I think it's like, Georgia, the country.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[India]

Because I was like, oh, why are ski mountains foreigners at a ski resort in Georgia?

[Drew]

Ski mountains in Georgia.

[India]

Josie, you have to get this. Take it, take it, take it, Josie. Oh, I already blew it out.

[Drew]

Is it hot?

[India]

Well, no. Have you, like, what? I've never.

[Drew]

I don't know.

[India]

It's not a pan.

[Drew]

He's scared of this pussy. He's scared me to you or you to me? Talking about you, you to me when.

[India]

I'm on my period and I use the bathroom and I tell you not to go in there yet.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[India]

One thing about me is I will blow the bathroom up and literally get terrified at anybody who walks by because I'm like, are you going in there? You shouldn't go in there.

[Drew]

I know. She literally, like, every, like, she does that. She's like, don't go in there. Don't go in there. And I'm like, babe, I want to go in there. I want to smell what you had cooked.

[India]

Like, low key at this point. I like, was it today, at some point today you took a big dooo While my vape was in the bathroom. And you were like, you're lucky. I moved it, like, away from the toilet before I blew this shit up.

[Drew]

Oh, it was two days ago.

[India]

I literally just went in there the second you walked out. Cuz I was like, what? Am I going to, like, smell his poop? Who gives a fuck? I want my vape.

[Drew]

Like, I take silent shits. I don't. My poop never smells.

[Josiah]

Drew's poop doesn't smell at all.

[Drew]

Like, legitimately actually. Yeah. I don't know what it is, so.

[India]

For some reason that doesn't sound like a healthy.

[Drew]

It's probably not.

[Josiah]

That's good, cuz.

[India]

Where's that gas going?

[Drew]

It's re. Seeping back into my bloodstream. But we're not talking about again because we always talk about. But today was like.

[India]

Or this year for the podcast has been the grossest because of all your stomach issues.

[Drew]

The poop year. The poop year aliens flopped. They flopped as fuck. I'm not even kidding. They, like, are in their flop arc. They took way too fucking long to reveal themselves. We've been waiting since 20 the drone. I'm saying that just in general. I've been thinking about it like, bitch, I don't give a fuck. Like, I really don't care. You can't make me care. These silly fucking drones in New Jersey. No one gives a fuck. Like, they're looking for ways joining my.

[India]

Side because I'm like, literally, okay. And if they are there, like, it's been long enough.

[Drew]

It would have. Don't get me wrong. Don't get me wrong. I'm going to be gagged when they come because they will be revealed. But I'm just saying, saying they're flopping right now.

[India]

No, I. I fear when they do get here, I'm gonna, like, fake, not give a. I'd be like, okay.

[Drew]

Like, y' all, the aliens flop era is low key serving. Wait, Josiah, what did you say?

[India]

I don't believe in aliens Still.

[Drew]

Did you hear? Gay wig ran for pleasant president. Gay wig ran for president. And they're in their flop era.

[India]

Who's gay wig?

[Drew]

Gay wigs tea today? Oh, yeah, Someone clocked gay wigs tea. Yeah, noted.

[India]

Josie was showing me his likes and it was greening me out because I was like, I can't believe we live under surveillance society. And I don't give a. Because the amount of videos I get of people, like, falling, being weird, being crazy, like, take it all. Like, keep all the data. As long as I get that Once that ends, then it's.

[Drew]

Yeah, once my cat video stream ends, like, it's cooked. Like, because I really, like, once every month, I just need to, like, re centralize myself and like, re stabilize my emotions. And I just interact with every single cat video I see on my feed. And I get little baby cute little kittens. And also something that's not talked about enough is that cats with their butthole, stinky tuna, nasty fish breath, lick themselves clean. And they smell like roses.

[India]

I know. They smell so good. Also, when Azul opens his mouth near me, bruh, it literally, like, singes my eyelashes. It's like that Sometimes it stinks bad enough that I get him off me. Like, even if he's being cute, don't put your mouth in my face.

[Drew]

Don't drop that dun da da.

[India]

Why are you doing so many, like, references from Vine?

[Drew]

I don't know. They're just coming out of me. I just can't stop coming. The memes just really can't stop coming. Like, noted frog sipping tea emoji.

[India]

No, wait, what were you saying yesterday? Wait, yesterday you kept repeating one that was like, making me crack up.

[Drew]

Another satisfied customer.

[India]

No, not that.

[Drew]

Insert that meme. Kai. That's like my favorite fucking picture ever.

[India]

F. I'm not gonna. Oh, never mind, never mind. You said a name and that's what it was. You said like an old name that I hadn't heard you say in a long time.

[Drew]

Wait, whisper it.

[India]

Lauren Geraldo.

[Drew]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Lauren Geraldo. But it was referencing who? Camila Cabello. We were talking about that Lemon song. But weren't they in a band together? Five stars. Lauren Geraldo and Camila Cabello were in five SOS together.

[India]

Oh. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Wait, because now I think we are thinking of even more different people because I was thinking of the girl who lives in Miami who got pregnant.

[Drew]

No, no, no, no. Wait, wait.

[India]

Lauren Geraldo is that name that.

[Drew]

That is a girl's name. But Lauren Geraldo is also on 5 sauce.

[India]

It's not 5 sauce. What's it called? It's like Vibe. Vibe girl. It's like some like.

[Drew]

Oh, the fifth. Harmony.

[India]

Harmony. Oh, my God, dude. Like, I think our generation is gonna have earlier onset and dementia because there's too much we consume on a day to day basis to remember. Oh, yeah, see, that's still not Lauren Geraldo.

[Drew]

How do you say that? Luca Guadalajara.

[India]

Oh, did you see the clip of him talking about call me by your name about the, like, nut scene? No, I Need to play this because it literally is cracking me up. I was like, damn, I love artists. Because y' all are just weird as. Because the tone of this sentence when.

[Drew]

We were doing call me by your name, and Eliot has masturbated on the pitch, then he has fallen as fallen asleep. And then Oliver shows up, and they have this moment of conversation. It's a bit salacious. Oliver eats the peach with the cum. It seems to be another heightened moment of sex. And then eventually the both of them confesses each other that they are really desperate at the perspective that.

[India]

But yeah, he, like, he's so just.

[Drew]

Nonchalantly talking about, like, the most infamous scene in modern movie history.

[India]

But not even that. Like, the.

[Drew]

Like, he came on the.

[India]

I think that movie and like, that scene. I actually think, if you really think about it, it is such an interesting way to show, like, sexual tension between two characters. But I don't know if I would ever be able to peach and eat.

[Drew]

It and then nuts in the bath water and drinks it.

[India]

Like.

[Drew]

Like, what if he. What if he did that?

[India]

Like, okay, the bathwater. Like, I think it's been enough time. Salt burn Sucked dick and balls.

[Drew]

Yeah, sorry.

[India]

It's been enough time.

[Drew]

I never saw.

[India]

Y' all aren't with Barry Keoghan right now. Like, nasty, ill, ill, ill, man. Yeah, that movie sucked. And I'm probably gonna cut that because I'm actually so terrible.

[Drew]

Didn't he cheat on Sabrina Sabina?

[India]

Like, us imagining us doing, like, a pop culture podcast.

[Drew]

So then Barry Keoghan cheated on Sabrina Carpenter.

[India]

Oh, my God.

[Drew]

Right? Yeah. Saw burn suck dick and balls. Don't give a. About that movie. Never saw it. So I really can't talk. I don't give a.

[India]

And then I think everybody we know didn't like it.

[Drew]

So now it's just like, Barbie flopped. Like, Barbie sucked. Like, I never saw it either. Harry Potter, the whole series sucks. Never saw.

[Josiah]

Okay, that's too far.

[Drew]

That. Oh, take that.

[India]

Harry Potter is actually disgusting.

[Drew]

You look like you're in Harry Potter right now.

[India]

Oh, their swag was superior.

[Josiah]

Oh, yeah. You do kind of look like Dumbledore a little bit with the. With the hat.

[Drew]

You look like Dobby, but you give Dobby.

[India]

I lowkey do feel like Dobby.

[Drew]

You give Jabba the hut.

[India]

I actually feel like Dobby when I get out of the sauna, and I'm like, wait, job.

[Drew]

India's so Jabba the Hut coded.

[India]

I almost said something that if, like, the public heard me say, would say so much about my personhood.

[Drew]

Say it.

[India]

Oh, actually, I think I've said it on the podcast before. That. That freaky ass scene with Jabba the Hutt and Princess Leia. I was like, damn, this is freaky. As a kid, I was like, wait, like.

[Drew]

Like, you were into it?

[India]

I was just like, are they gonna. She's being really sexy.

[Drew]

Wait, which scene?

[India]

When?

[Drew]

Like, I haven't seen Star Wars.

[India]

Her dance. And I was like, as a kid, I was like, is she gonna get naked? Like, what is she about to do? I thought this was Star Wars.

[Drew]

Oh, the gold bikini scene.

[India]

Yes.

[Drew]

This is literally. You, like, actually, like, this is not.

[India]

Let's be in the back seat.

[Drew]

Insert backseat photo next to Jabba the Hutt photo, because that's literally twinning. That's twin right there.

[India]

Okay. Did you see this, though?

[Drew]

That's my light. Better not be.

[India]

Hey.

[Drew]

Wait.

[India]

That was actually kind of impressive.

[Drew]

That was kind of good.

[India]

And I can't follow you up because my throat is so dry.

[Drew]

Josiah, it. It was pretty good. He said it was really, really, really good. He said it was, like, basically better than he could ever do. I didn't say that.

[India]

Josiah, whose, like, songs from Wicked do you think you could sing easier? What Cynthia does or Ariana?

[Drew]

Ariana.

[India]

Yeah. I'm not kidding. I. I wish I could watch Wicked in my house already. And it's actually kind of pissing me off that it's not just on streaming services.

[Drew]

Okay.

[Josiah]

No. Okay.

[Drew]

I was just making sure.

[Josiah]

Oh, yeah. You have that big.

[Drew]

I have this big hole.

[Josiah]

Ew, Drew, I saw your. For a second. I'll blur it. I'll blur it. But that wasn't.

[Drew]

You're actually.

[India]

Well, you actually are so sustainable for this.

[Josiah]

Oh, it's like.

[Drew]

No, it's really.

[Josiah]

Was that my Christmas present?

[Drew]

No. You get your Christmas present a little later.

[Josiah]

Okay.

[Drew]

And in you, too.

[India]

I don't want one.

[Drew]

I want that.

[India]

She's not coming to my house.

[Drew]

She is not coming to my house.

[India]

That's our new thingy. She's not coming to me.

[Drew]

She's not coming to my house. It's Shoddy. They talking about Ashley Trevino.

[India]

He's getting me an Airbnb. If not, I'm gonna be staying at Shoddy Bay's house.

[Drew]

She's not coming to my house. She's not coming to my.

[India]

Somebody. I'm not that close to coming to my house. Kind of feels like a hostage situation.

[Drew]

It's really, really like. It's.

[India]

It is navigating such scary territory. I feel like people who just invite people to hang out for the first time to their house directly.

[Drew]

It feels like something, like, nasty is going to happen. I don't know. Like, literally, though. Like, I don't know, like.

[India]

Like someone's gonna have sex.

[Drew]

Yeah. Or just, like, spooky vibes, like, creepy energy.

[India]

Well, yeah. Well, that's the difference, too. I will say if, like, if it's somebody who I find attractive. Oh, I'll invite them over. Like, if that's what I'm looking for.

[Drew]

My house, she is coming to me.

[India]

If not, if it's just a friend, I'm like, she's not coming to my house.

[Drew]

Oh, you know what? We've been saying way too much. Just vote.

[India]

Just.

[Drew]

Just then I realized there's, like, so many ways to say it. Like, the word. You can be like you, or you can be like. Like, what the. Like, literally so many different ways, and it's just all of the inflection. You can say, just vote the same way. Like, just vote. Like, just vote. Or you can say, just vote. Damn.

[India]

Or you could even bring it lower and be like, just vote.

[Drew]

Just vote.

[India]

Like, just vote. I feel like both of us, when we do that, just vote.

[Drew]

Yeah, I guess you could do that with, like, any word. Like, just vogue to adult.

[India]

Just two adult idiots.

[Drew]

Just vape. Good, babe.

[India]

Wow. I mean, yeah, we just went over enunciation, basically. So somebody out there learned something. Somebody was like, oh, my God, my eyes are open. You could say things so many different ways. Like, I don't like Drew because he's gay.

[Josiah]

What?

[India]

Like, I could say, and I don't.

[Drew]

Like you because you're a fat monster. Yucky fat monster.

[India]

I thought you had java on.

[Drew]

Jabba.

[India]

I'd be down for. No, I was gonna say I'd be down for the nickname Jabba, but just. Just vote.

[Drew]

Just literally just. Well, Tick Tock is getting banned, but it's kind of starting to piss me off because y' all are acting like I'm gonna let that happen. Like, that's just not happening. If I'm in the.

[Josiah]

Are you gonna stop it?

[India]

That's what I'm saying.

[Drew]

I'm just saying it's not gonna happen, and I have my way.

[India]

Are you saying that the way you say big things are coming, or like.

[Drew]

Well, no, big things are always coming.

[India]

Like, that's just like, yeah, things. Things are always happening.

[Drew]

Actually, big things just can't stop coming. Big things just because they keep coming. No. TikTok is getting banned as fuck. And, like, actually, I don't think it really is I was just gonna, like, have a moment where I was like, it's getting banned. But it's like, literally not like, I. I will put a million dollars on it. That it won't.

[India]

Yeah. I just don't believe it will. But then in the slight chance that it does get banned, all I think about is I remember I thought it was the end of the world when, like, vine was dying down. And even before TikTok popped off, I feel like Twitter was starting to die down and people were moving to IG and IG was starting to plateau, and then TikTok blew up. So I feel like there will be something else. And that's what I'm interested in is, like, how many stinky, nasty wealth hoarding are like, I have a new idea. Like, here's the new thing. I feel like we're gonna start seeing. Just post paid content. I'm posting on my new app, like, Instagram.

[Drew]

I'm sorry. You did it best. Like, I take back everything I ever said talking about you stealing everything from every other.

[India]

Yeah, and they did ever.

[Drew]

They did it the best. Like, I'm tired. Like, tick tock. Cannot integrate photos.

[India]

Snapchat. You're not cutting it. Like, Snapchat is gross. How scary to me.

[Drew]

My opinion will change if Snapchat starts paying me. How about that?

[India]

You don't. You've never. You don't even have that app on your phone right now.

[Drew]

But that's what I'm saying.

[India]

Shut up.

[Josiah]

But, yeah, reels need to chill because I swear I see, like, borderline gore videos.

[Drew]

Oh, no. I see people die on reels. Like, literally every single.

[Josiah]

Like, they want to use reels so bad. They'll show you.

[India]

Because only the men I know say that shit. All of the girls I know, I've.

[Drew]

Never had a really algorithm thing because I don't interact with any of them. I'll be scrolling and I'll see someone get run over and scroll by really quickly, but I still get fed them. But I think it just, like, knows that, like, men are more likely to consume, like, gore content because, like, men are evil. Like, and it's really barbaric and it's like blood memories. It's like, let's go to war and kill people. Like, like epigenetic. Like, for real. Like, it's creepy.

[India]

Like, everyone is so bored. But, like, if they do get rid of it, I think something new will, like, replace it. And also, I kind of think it might be good.

[Drew]

Oh, it'll.

[India]

For my, like, for my anxiety.

[Drew]

It'll Be net positive for everyone's psyche. But I am really worried about, like, the businesses on there.

[India]

I'm worried about businesses. And also, like, it has done. It's come with a lot of negatives, but it has shifted so much. And it is. I mean, I feel like that's why, duh, they want to get rid of.

[Drew]

It because, like, there's too many conversations that have being had that they don't want to be had, that they're like.

[India]

Do we really need to fight for this? Like, I get your data from everything else.

[Drew]

Like, it's a data gold mine, baby. But, yeah, I'm not gonna let that happen. Like, just wait.

[Josiah]

Have you noticed when you're on TikTok and then you don't look at the screen, it runs an ad because, like, if you're away from your phone, it'll run an ad because you can't skip it? Have you ever had that happen?

[Drew]

No, but that's. Yeah, I know they play ads at the end of videos now sometimes.

[Josiah]

Really? Whenever I'm like, watching something and I put it down to, like, wash dishes, it'll play an ad.

[Drew]

Wait, you wash dishes?

[Josiah]

Yeah, of course.

[Drew]

That's what girls are for, babe.

[Josiah]

No, I think men should be doing that, actually.

[Drew]

Okay, like, she's not gonna have sex with you, bro.

[Josiah]

Is she really not?

[Drew]

She really isn't, bro.

[India]

The, like, weird ass way you just shifted your voice was like, she's really.

[Drew]

Not gonna have sex with you, bro. Brody, bro, she really is not gonna bang you, bro. Y' all, I saw someone. Y' all remember when people were riding Harambe in for president? Like, people really did that? Like, no, we did that. You did that. No, people wrote Harambe in for presidency, which is, like, actually crazy, first of all. But then I've been seeing a lot of conversation around Harambe recently. That's what I'm getting into it. Let me get into it. I saw someone say something that absolutely shook my. Shook me to my core and blew my mind. And I pray it's a reality very soon in the next four years. But I saw someone saying that soon, one day on the Internet, we will see a video saying the time I fell into a gorilla enclosure at the Cincinnati Zoo. Story time. Oh, a story time from the kid that killed Harambe. The mobs that will come out.

[India]

Okay, well, the kid didn't kill Harambe. Like, he did.

[Drew]

No, he fell into the enclosure. It's on him. The blood is.

[India]

No, but I'm like.

[Josiah]

That kid's what, like seven now or eight in my.

[India]

Head in the video, he is literally like this small.

[Drew]

He was. He was like being dragged. Wait, that's actually the funniest thing to ever happen on the Internet. Like him being dragged by a monkey.

[India]

It is so fucked up. Like, was he injured after that? I almost feel like we shouldn't be talking.

[Drew]

No, the kid was fine. The monk, like the gorilla died. Like, that's the tea.

[Josiah]

Oh, it was almost 10 years ago.

[Drew]

No way.

[Josiah]

Yeah. This person could technically make the video.

[Drew]

He's probably 12 or 13.

[India]

No, he has to be like May.

[Josiah]

May 28, the day after my birthday. 2016. Yeah.

[Drew]

Wait, you were 48 back then.

[Josiah]

No, no, no, no.

[Drew]

10 years ago.

[Josiah]

I was probably like 11. I was probably around.

[India]

The kid.

[Drew]

Yeah, I think he was two because he looked like a two year old.

[Josiah]

Like a two year old dude.

[Drew]

So he was fine.

[India]

I'm just literally laughing because I have such like cognitive dissonance because of so many of these things. Like in my head, it is a meme and it's not real at this point. Like it is surpassed being anybody involved. Like the kid who kicked that crispy cream sign back at it again at Krispy Kreme.

[Drew]

And that's.

[India]

I was in to see what happened after. And there's really no, like conversation about what happened after. And there's no way to track that kid down. So I'm like, that person's just alive.

[Drew]

That's literally my favorite people video of all time. And that is literally something I think about all the time. Is like, what was the aftermath? Like, did he go to jail? Like, did they put the sign back up and just like, no questions asked. Just like, keep moving because like really what happened? But ah, dude, that video is so good. But there's so many things like that. Like what happened after. That's how literally that's how sequels should be. Like, I'm tired of these sequels, like coming up with new bunk ass stories. Like, no, like I want to see, like the happy ending continued. Like, I want to see them. Like Monsters, Inc. Like, I want Monsters Inc. Too. By the way, Monsters is the greatest.

[India]

Movie of all because Monsters University, which is just wicked.

[Drew]

I think there was a Movie Monsters Inc. 2. I think really, if there's not, that's a Mandela effect. But there is Monsters University for sure.

[Josiah]

There's a sex scene. That's how I remember that. There's a second one.

[India]

There's no way that passed, like, even at that time. So anyways, no, okay, I was right. There is no Monsters Inc. 2. It's Monsters, Inc. And then Monsters Universe.

[Drew]

See, but that's what I'm saying. I need. Like, I saw. I watched Monsters, Inc. Two times in.

[India]

Three days while I was talking about it.

[Drew]

It's literally one. It's a masterpiece.

[Josiah]

It seriously won't because the blue one is kind of true.

[Drew]

Oh, no. He's literally the hottest. Yeah, he's Liter is hot as. Like, I don't give a.

[India]

Like, he's been.

[Drew]

Are there any cosplayers of su.

[India]

Oh, my God.

[Drew]

We're looking this up right now.

[India]

Well, no. Like, I don't need to see a man acting like that. Like, that's pushing it. Okay.

[Drew]

No, he eats. Like, what you talking about?

[India]

I almost feel like we can't put that in. Because if somebody laughed at me the way I just laughed at that man.

[Josiah]

Please. I know.

[India]

Like, this is.

[Drew]

If I was Boo, I would be green, I would die. If I was green, I would.

[India]

You guys like the set I ordered? Like, hold on, Wait. All of the little decorations and stuff?

[Drew]

Stuff. I gotta finish talking about Monsters, Inc. So I think movie sequels should be the happy ending because I also watched Lilo and Stitch another masterpiece. But. Oh, my God, I'm, like, literally about to start crying thinking about the final scene. Like, the final five minutes of Monsters, Inc. When Boo is in the room, and, like, she's like, kitty, and she runs back to the door and swings it open, and the door is not.

[India]

Well, Toy Story 2, baby. Basically did this.

[Drew]

Toy Story 2. Toy Story 2 is the worst movie I've ever seen. Literally the worst movie. So annoying, because I watched that one as well.

[India]

Wait, actually, are you being serious right now?

[Drew]

I hate Toy Story 2. Oh, I love the. I love the boot getting painted to chill. No, no, I love the boot getting painted. And I love the scene where he fixes Woody up. Because there's so many, like, sensory moments in it that I remember from my childhood. But, like, the. The concept, like, it's focused on Buzz Lightyear too much, and I hate Buzz Lightyear. I'm like.

[India]

I feel like that was almost, like, the gag of it. It's like he's, like, this overpowering person who runs people over, and he has to learn to chew.

[Josiah]

Wow. Yeah, that makes sense.

[Drew]

Yeah. There is, like, a lot of scenes from the.

[India]

If you actually, like, watch and listen, you might find that every movie has something to teach you. H. You can use that for future reference if you want.

[Drew]

Get out.

[India]

No. E. Drew was doing this nasty, Nast thing yesterday where I, like, sit there away from him. And I was like, oh, I need to go wash my face. And he's like, you're going to wash your face? And I was like, yeah. He was like, good girl. And I was like, ew, stop. And I walked to his room. And everything I did, he kept saying it. And I was like, and you sit.

[Drew]

On the edge of my bed. Good girl. Wait, Kai, sit there.

[Josiah]

I am.

[Drew]

Good boy.

[Josiah]

I blushed.

[Drew]

Talking to the mic and blush. Good boy.

[India]

Ew.

[Josiah]

The best is a clever girl.

[Drew]

Clever, clever girl.

[India]

That is great.

[Drew]

Cover girl.

[India]

Clever girl.

[Drew]

Wait, Charles being cover girl? Just vote, like, actually just vote, like.

[India]

Wait. He really that up? I've never seen another boy. They're like. They're like, fool me once.

[Drew]

No, wasn't Nanny Mua, I think Manny Mua cover boys? Or wasn't Bach that, like, one with eyebrows?

[India]

Bach from Wicked. Who is Bach?

[Drew]

No, the one with the eyebrows that does that dance. What?

[India]

I don't know what you're talking about.

[Drew]

No, it really was a moment. It was a moment. It was a moment.

[India]

Like, mountains move.

[Drew]

Mountains move, y' all. There was a apparently.

[India]

Lands filled.

[Drew]

Lands filled. Holes unfilled. There was apparently a tornado in San Francisco. A quote, unquote tornado.

[India]

Bye, bye, bye.

[Drew]

I saw the videos. Y' all really need to get a grip. Like, if you have seen the horrors that I've witnessed and even been a part of. Claiming that that was a tornado is almost disrespectful, impactful to me.

[India]

If you've seen the things we've seen.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[India]

That's literally what I said to Drew. Like, he brought it up to you. He was like, oh, my God. There was a.

[Drew]

On YouTube.

[India]

Like, there was a tornado in California. He was like, yeah, but did you see the videos? I was like, oh, I know. They were kind of bung. And he goes, if only they knew the kind of things we've seen. And we are both talking about imagining someone saying that publicly on the.

[Drew]

About YouTube videos. Because that's what we've seen is. Yeah.

[India]

Oh, I should have clarified. Yeah. What I've seen is so many YouTube videos. I feel like I've seen every video there is of a tornado. At this point, I'm down to, like, pictures from 1810 of a weird dust bunny.

[Drew]

Yeah. No, literally, I couldn't. If you show me a frame of a tornado, I could tell you where it's from in the day.

[India]

Yeah, he has done that. It's really weird somebody never say it now. I was gonna say somebody made us feel crazy in person for liking tornadoes and I haven't been watching as many anymore because I'm like, I guess really ruin the.

[Drew]

Suck the fun out of it, Mr. Scrooge.

[Josiah]

Like, I don't understand what's bad about a tornado. There's nothing.

[Drew]

It's like. Nothing is bad about it. It's literally listening and learning. Nothing is bad about it. Well, I just realized. Oh, wait. No, no. Something we really need to talk about is the you guy. Like, what is it? The. The you got says the you guy. Can I. Can I have the cheeseburger?

[India]

Says, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Drew]

That something.

[India]

Something I says I said with Joyce.

[Drew]

Yeah, something. Something I said with Joy's. Wow. I haven't stubbed my toe in five years. Said with the Joy's man. Like, whatever it is. Like, can I go to toilet, please? This I asked.

[India]

Can I go to toilet, please? I asked teacher you said my teacher, who was actually the you guy.

[Drew]

Like, that's so millennial.

[India]

It's so bad. Also, I don't think it's from aging. I think somebody toilet please.

[Drew]

I think it's those two second horror sentence, like two second scary story and then some random dudes like reading them because there's like this subreddit where there's like two sentence horrors.

[India]

But you said the you man. Like, ew.

[Drew]

Well, that's the thing is, like, it's unfunny and like it's unscary and someone submitted it being dead ser. Serious. And so that's what I think that's what it is. But yeah, let me go to this subreddit.

[India]

Should I crush your toes right now?

[Drew]

Oh, I already have crushy toe syndrome.

[India]

You like, you're not using that right? Because every time.

[Drew]

I know what crushy toe syndrome is, but I. Anything. Any pains around my toes?

[India]

Also, I know what crushy toes in German. Like, they. No one says that. So you actually don't know what it is.

[Drew]

Two sentence, two horror. Let's sort by the top. Oh, wait. I wish I could sort by top in real life. I wish I could sort by top on Grindr. What is Grindr? I was playing with my boobs. No, you're not. Said knife guy. Then a brick fell on my. Okay. Derp random.

[India]

Like, I know it's like the scariest part of the Internet because it's like you're literally don't funny. Like, it's just not funny. But it feels like a sound that people are using right now. And in 10 years it's gonna get made fun of. Like I partook in some tick tock sounds that I now look back, and I'm like, that's cringy that I did that. But whenever I was young, but now I can see one of those from a mile away.

[Drew]

I told my therapist I watched a girl drown when I was 15. I could have saved her, but I was too scared. I know. She said as she got up to lock the door. That was my daughter.

[India]

That's like, I. I just woke up from a crazy dream. This needs to be a movie Ass like synopsis.

[Drew]

I come in the sink. It does not stop. I sink in the come.

[India]

That's the salt burn dialogue.

[Drew]

Or really, like, really bad dude.

[India]

The year is actually almost over.

[Drew]

I know time is speeding up. Time is dilating. I really do think it's either the information age that we're living in. Also, don't even get me tarts. Don't even get me started about AI super intelligence, y' all. If we keep going at the rate we're going at now, in the next 10 years, it'll be over for us.

[India]

That just means I'm gonna kill myself.

[Drew]

I'm out of topic.

[India]

Oh, is that it for you?

[Drew]

Yeah. Oh, I got one more. I got one.

[India]

Because I got hella.

[Drew]

I'll. I'll do my last one. Guys. I was going through my Tick Tock Tick Tock shop orders, and something came across my mind and heart, and it dredged up beautiful memories of the past. And I wish we could return to such a sweet time. And I went to go reorder it, but the shop has been closed down for what I'm assuming is mold poisoning or killing people. But I saw the spicy bowl on Tick Tock again in my order complete.

[India]

It was so annoying because I was like, oh. Oh, my God. Am I about to get to open a gift? Like, I was making it about me. I was like, wait, this is gonna be so cute. That's what you're talking about also.

[Drew]

Wait, guys, Do I look good today?

[Josiah]

You do. You guys both look good.

[India]

Drew has this issue where if he gets complimented, like, one too many times in a day, he just gets so used to it. And he basically asked for compliments for the rest of the day. And I'm calling you out.

[Josiah]

But I think you guys both look great, and I think the set looks great.

[India]

Thank you.

[Drew]

Yeah. And you cooked.

[Josiah]

Oh, and you brought. It's gonna blow an explosive.

[Drew]

It's like that one Bjork video of her at this stage. Explosions.

[India]

Boom, boom. Yeah.

[Drew]

And then add an explosion.

[Josiah]

Oh, okay. Okay.

[India]

I think Luigi needs To get let go because there's a few more CEOs to deal with. Because if I see another Burger King comment on a video of a girl trying curl cream, I'm gonna freak the fuck out. Like, wait, what? Why are, like, burger king, Wendy's, AutoZone, like, trying to get the top comment on just random, like, things that have nothing to do with the brand. And I saw. Yeah, I've seen an AutoZone comment. I swear to God.

[Drew]

What the.

[Josiah]

Like, I. I'm blown away that people are still. They are still entertained by.

[Drew]

Yeah. Like, oh, my God. They commented.

[India]

Like, yeah.

[Drew]

Why Taco Bell tried that out on me first, by the way. I'm literally not Slim Jim and Taco Bell.

[India]

Oh, yeah. Over my gym was literally. Literally. In your comments on ig, they were inside of my.

[Drew]

Like, they were literally up my ass. Like, it was insane. They were obsessed with me. And same with Red Bull.

[India]

Like, Drew was so annoyed because Drew wanted to block them but felt bad for whoever was doing their job.

[Drew]

Yeah. Like, I was like, I'm not gonna, like, ruin your job. Like, you can meet your quota for how many likes you get or whatever the. But, like, don't play with pay me.

[India]

Like, it's also just annoying because in my head, I'm like, like, okay, well, now what? Like, I don't think anybody's gonna see the comment in my comment section from, like, Toys R Us, but it still.

[Josiah]

Gets, like, 40,000 likes. People like, oh, my gosh, I can't believe that Burger King is commenting.

[India]

Yeah. And. But it's literally because I guess, I don't know, they're like, anything is an ad. Anything is an ad. Like, just get out of the comments. Get out of the comments. I think, honestly, also, just stop making social media. I know you exist. Like, a mer doesn't need an ig.

[Drew]

The greatest all publicity is good publicity moment was Gorilla Glue hair girl. When she put that in her hair, I guarantee their stock prices rose by 45%, like, in a minute. Like, I'm. They're probably not a publicly traded company, but you know what I mean? Like, that shifted things, dude.

[India]

I feel like we were talking about that, like, as a society for a year straight. Straight. Like, I'm still talking about it in my head. That is still. And it has fully made such a dent in the culture that I feel like there were a lot of, like, hair glue companies and eyelash companies that changed their bottles and their labels because they didn't want anybody to get it mixed up and, like, get something else and Also, it cracks me up because I think the gel she was originally going for is literally a gel my dad used. Used to use called like Moscos or something.

[Drew]

I know they're gorillas.

[India]

Yeah, like, it's gorilla snot, but like, my dad used to call it Moscos because that's like boogers and it's gorilla snot. So in my head I'm just like, why is that the gel she was using in the first place? Like, it feels like such a.

[Drew]

She was just like, I. In my head, I always imagined her like being like, damn, I cheated the system. Like, this is gonna stay for a week straight. Like, oh, and I don't have to take it out. Like, like don't have to do my hair every single day.

[India]

Yeah. That is like, I can't even get on her. Cuz that's the kind of stupid I used to do. And that's why my hair was fried all the time. Because I would do dumb to my hair. Like, I tried to do a straight perm on my hair after I bleached it once.

[Drew]

The strings.

[India]

I was like so tired of the heat damage. Oh, I'll just like permit it. Literally. Like, I had chunks of hair rolling down my back, which is insane to think about. I used to just literally burn my hair off my head.

[Drew]

You did not care the time. Like, really did not. And that was pre K18 era.

[India]

Like, oh, that was pre everything. That was literally. I remember you, like, wouldn't be able to get certain hair coloring things at the store without having a Sally license. Like, there was like a bunch of. There was no hair color removal that you could buy if you didn't have like a license or something. And I used to steal it. I sure did. I stole it because they were just these slim l' Oreal packets sets. And I would just go and like slip one, like, into my like, hoodie sleeve. And then I would like, buy the rest of my stuff.

[Drew]

Chic.

[India]

They weren't even expensive. They were. I think they were like $10. Just tell me that.

[Drew]

Literally.

[India]

Like, so annoying. Why is it on the shelf?

[Drew]

Like, don't get me started.

[India]

I don't like Sally Beauty. And guess what? I feel like Sally Beauty fell off. Like, nobody's going there anymore.

[Drew]

Wow.

[India]

I've been to your. Nobody knew you.

[Drew]

It's because everything is locked up. Like.

[India]

Well, no, it's because we got Amazon.

[Drew]

No, it's because you can't buy anything without a license. It's locked behind a license. Yeah, well, something very, very, very something I need to do very. Need that. There is. Is a plane crash simulator in Melbourne.

[India]

Oh, okay.

[Drew]

Australia and I.

[India]

Did you, like, practice how you were gonna pronounce that?

[Drew]

No, that's how you pronounce it.

[Josiah]

I know, but, like, that's how Australian people pronounce it.

[Drew]

Yeah, that's how you pronounce it.

[Josiah]

I feel like Americans say Melbourne.

[Drew]

Yeah, that's wrong. And I'm right.

[India]

Okay. How would you.

[Josiah]

Practicing in front of a mirror.

[Drew]

How would you say Melbourne? Melbourne. If you say Melbourne three times, a magpie comes out of the mirror and eat your eyeballs. Melbourne, bro. Australia.

[India]

When you say it like that, it just sounds like a name, though. Like, Melbourne.

[Drew]

Melbourne. Like, what?

[India]

That's not the accent. Loki. All those accents do kind of sound the same.

[Drew]

You could. You could put four people in front of me that speak different dialects. Australian, Irish, British, and whatever.

[India]

Our fourth one is Irish accent.

[Drew]

Ireland.

[India]

Yeah. Like, I. Like, there's, like, a few actresses, like Sasha Ronan. However you say her name.

[Josiah]

Oh, yeah.

[India]

Ladybird. Like, I love her accent.

[Josiah]

How do you say her name? It's like, Saoirse. Damn.

[India]

I'm making it, like, two something it's not.

[Drew]

But there's that plane crash simulator that I really need to experience. But it's one of those things where I'm like, do we really need this? Like, this is, like, really, like, not okay.

[India]

No, they're like. Even from me, I'm like, that's pushing it. Yeah, you're really pushing it.

[Drew]

Because have you seen those church.

[India]

What are we talking about? But I guess it's like what I said last week. Like, the haunted house. If you really think about it, like, what are we doing? Like, we're simulating, like, being chased and hunted down by a murderer. Like a chainsaw. Like, you have fake blood smells and gut smells everywhere. Like, it really is freaky deaky.

[Drew]

Have you seen. There's this, like, traveling, like, almost haunted house thing for churches, but it's like the rapture. It must be, like, deep south. Like, Central America.

[India]

Need to go to that, because if anything, like those mega church Christmas shows.

[Drew]

Oh, it's.

[India]

Count me the fucking.

[Drew]

I know that shit looks lit. Like, I'm sorry. Of pretending like I don't want to be there.

[India]

But, like, that shit looks really fucking sorry. They brought the fireworks inside and Santa's flying over. If I smoke before I go in there, bitch. I seriously think I will believe in magic.

[Drew]

I'm tired. I'm tired of pretending like that's not lit. Like, obviously, obviously. Like, it's not lit. Like we know that, but like, like, yeah, it looks fun.

[India]

Well, it's just. I feel like I'm really fear mongered. And some of it is based on a reality for what the next year of life will look like. Ho. If I'm going out, I'm going out with a bang. I will be in spiritual psychosis all of 2025.

[Drew]

God is good.

[India]

Having. Having the best time of my life. I'm going Easter. It's going down.

[Drew]

It's a movie on Easter. It's a movie on Easter.

[India]

I'll be celebrating all the holidays. I feel like it's genuinely my last year to live. So what's the first holiday of the year?

[Drew]

January 6th. The insurrection. Be there, be square. We're turning up, y' all.

[India]

I.

[Drew]

Wait, hold on.

[India]

No, that's on Christmas. I was going to say the Wicked Sing along in theaters. That'll be a movie.

[Drew]

There is something else happening on Christmas. Let's just say a takeover. A Christmas Day takeover.

[India]

Okay, what does that mean? Oh, something big is coming.

[Drew]

Something big.

[Josiah]

Oh, really? That's gonna be crazy. That's the best Christmas present I've ever.

[Drew]

It's gonna be really special. But those traveling raptures are like, literally.

[India]

Like every time you say it, I'm like, what the are you talking?

[Drew]

And yeah, it's exactly what it sounds like. They set up a haunted house.

[India]

I'm not quite sure I can grab grasp what a rapture really entails.

[Drew]

It's like everybody that was good to God and God loves like gets sucked up into heaven. And then everybody else, she's not coming to my house. That's literally.

[India]

That Tik Tok is so funny we need to insert it.

[Drew]

But they travel to these like churches in the middle of America, like, and set up like a haunted hayride and like a haunted house. And you pay like 15 to go inside. And it simulates like one the rapture. Like it's like crashed.

[India]

So it's like world after all, but for like.

[Drew]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're walking through. Exactly. And there's like a. There's literally. There's a hole in the ground I'm paying to walk. Yeah. And then there's a hole in the ground where there's like a devil, like grabbing scare actors and throwing them into hell. Like, it's really, really crazy. And it's. It's the scariest. It literally is terrifying. And like, if you are not mentally really stable, like, if you're kind of destabilized, do not go to that because it will really, really you up because it's scary as. But did you also have those.

[India]

I'm just like. I think I have very existential and like, scary anxiety inducing thoughts, but at the end of it, it is not that deep.

[Drew]

It really is. Guess what?

[India]

I'm gonna go.

[Drew]

Am I. Do I really. Do I have a choice?

[India]

Yeah, like, if I have a choice or not. Like, honestly, just vote. Just vote.

[Drew]

Also, like, hell seems like. I mean, heavens kind of seems like a prison to me because, like, you're just happy all the time. Like, you, like, that seems cooked and you're, like, trapped in, like, this.

[India]

And they're not selling podcast mics in heaven.

[Drew]

And there's no weed nowhere. There's no weed. There's no opiates for me to do. Like, it's really, like, actually cooked up there. Like, I think pure euphoria 24. 7 sounds like a genuine nightmare because, like, that's what. What heroin addicts go through and they literally all want to die. So anyways, have y' all seen the. The other thing? Did y' all school do this where it was like a drunk driving accident and they brought out, like, crashed cars? Oh, yes, my school.

[Josiah]

I thought about that since it happened.

[Drew]

Really trauma, like, inducing, like, really, really scary. I was still drunk driving. What does that sound?

[Josiah]

Wait, what did you just say?

[Drew]

Nothing before. No, I wasn't drunk driving. I don't play with that. Like, that shit's literally not funny.

[Josiah]

They did it. They. The girl was, like, covered in blood, like, Carrie style. Yeah. And they. They, like, carried her through.

[Drew]

Did they have the Jaws of Life, like, cutting her out of the car?

[Josiah]

I don't remember that part. I just vividly remember the blood and I was.

[India]

Ah, y' all schools were like, being freaky deaky as fuck with you. My school did not do that well.

[Drew]

We did a photo shoot and I look really, really hot in it. And I can't talk about it, but just know I literally look good.

[India]

Yeah, we were like, screen mirroring the pictures and we were both like.

[Drew]

We were like, we look good. Like, we literally look good as in them. But the first shot of me of the day, they had me in these really, really short shorts. And I didn't think to wear boxer briefs. I wore Drew Max new boxers. Snow Pond, literally. Go check them out. I swear to God, I get, like, compliments in the locker room wearing these boxers at Snow Pond. Go, please go buy them all because they're so cute. Actually, don't, because I want them for myself, but I was wearing those boxers to the shoot and they're like boxer boxers. They're like, baggy and they had me in these short, like, shorts. And I sat down on the ground and 98 of the photos of me and poses of me were just vanished into thin air. So I'm pretty sure you could see my entire and balls in the photos. I'm not joking. And I need the text to photograph photographer to see because, like, really, like, it might have been sinister. It might have been, like, really over for me.

[India]

You're getting exposed.

[Drew]

I know.

[India]

I actually that's funny because I got this random like, Dropbox link, but. And I thought it was somebody's like, nido ball, like, that got thrown in dirt and like.

[Drew]

No, that was my scrotum.

[India]

Yeah, that was.

[Drew]

Yeah, that was my scrotum. Ew.

[India]

Oh, that is so disgusting.

[Drew]

Yeah, I have balls. I have a wiener.

[India]

No, actually stop.

[Drew]

I really do.

[India]

That is so nasty. Like, it really upsets me.

[Drew]

Like, I have a wiener in balls.

[India]

Oh.

[Drew]

Well, a dude got flown full paid trip, a fully paid trip to Antarctica. He was a flat Earther. And flat Earthers have this idea that.

[India]

So it pays to be a dummy.

[Drew]

No, exactly. That's what I was saying. I was like, I think the earth is flat. Like, I don't think Hawaii is real. Like, fly me out Hawaii or whatever. Like, I don't give a. Like, I don't. It's not real. But there was a dude that got flown out to Antarctica.

[India]

You are a crazy person.

[Drew]

I don't think Bali is real. Fly me out. But there was. He. He's a flat Earther. Notorious flat Earther. Like, goes live on YouTube every single day talking about how the earth is flat. And he got flown out by this dude to like, go prove that it to everyone that it was flat. And they have this idea that since the earth is flat, the sun has to set in Antarctica. But technically there's like a 24 hour sun in Antarctica. Antarctica at this time of the year? Which completely disproves like, flat earth theory. So this dude was like, yeah, we're going out there. He flew all the way out there, got there and was live streaming the whole time. And he was like, well, guys, like, I mean, his. You watch this guy crumble. Like, his entire life is dedicated to like, proving that the earth is flat. Flat. And there was a 24 hour sun and he timed it and he was like, well, guys, like, I. I'm a man, so I can admit when I'm wrong. But, like, I Don't know if the earth is flat. Like, there's a 24 hour sun. Like, I tracked it all and like everybody in the comments was like, boo you, you shill. Like you're.

[India]

I want to see the video because imagine it does look like the moon landing video. Because then. And then he was like, I'm gonna have a few.

[Drew]

Everyone in the comments was like, it's a green screen. You're not actually there. It's a green screen. And then he had brought out like green screen props and he was like, if I was standing in front of a green screen, this would be keyed out. But I'm not in front of a green screen. He was like, it's a blue screen. He's like, I'm wearing a blue jacket. Like, literally. What are you talking about?

[Josiah]

You said it like that.

[Drew]

No, I. I'll find it.

[India]

Stop playing with me.

[Drew]

24 hour sun, flat. I mean, also Millie Bobby Brown, I think I'm a flat ear.

[E]

Like, can you clarify, is there a 24 hour sun and whether or not you have seen yourself personally yet? There is 100% a 24 hour sun and I have seen it personally.

[Drew]

Yes.

[E]

So at this point, I've been here for over 24 hours. The sun has not set. I've personally been here since 4pm yesterday. The sun has not set. Not only has it not set, bro, it's like it stays pretty high up in the sky. Now the question is, is it too high? It's a good question. Let's check the elevation angles. But it seems to bounce right around where it's supposed to, which is 13 to 34, allegedly. But as I can confirm, 100%, no questions asked at where we are. There is a 24 hour sun. 100%. I knew instantly it was a real sun. I could feel. But you know, they.

[Drew]

They were trying to be like, it's not a real dude.

[India]

He is like losing it. There's something kind of really sad about this.

[E]

Crazy. I'm extremely tired. I'm honestly ready for this. 24. I've already seen the sun be in the sky for 24 hours. We've been here for 24 hours. It's gonna stay in the sky, bro. Like, it's just. It's 100%. I won't say when I got.

[India]

She's not coming to my house.

[Josiah]

Yeah, I feel bad. I almost feel bad.

[Drew]

No, it's.

[India]

That's what I'm saying. And it must feel crazy to, like, in my head, I. I try to understand the timeline of how you get so wrong and know so much about the wrong thing. And I'm like, it feels like, oh, that's power shock of knowing information. Nobody else knows that you get to go tell other people. So then you want to know as much about that information so that when you tell people, you gag them. And it's like, wow, you're actually really smart. I can't. I never heard that. Whatever. And then it just goes so far where I feel like a lot of flat earthers and people who lie in those grounds, they do get to a point where they're like, oh, I think I. Like, I think I'm on the wrong side. Like, I actually don't think this is real anymore. But they're like, I need to double down too. Who?

[Drew]

Charlie Kirk.

[India]

The ugly guy from the One video?

[Drew]

Yeah. With a really tiny face.

[India]

Yes.

[Drew]

And the teeth and the gums. Yeah. He's, like, loudly wrong and knows he's.

[India]

The one with the smile.

[Drew]

It's just all rage bait at a certain point. Like, they just make money off of it. But you like this guy. Guy, I think wholeheartedly, like, believed it. And it wasn't like, rage bait. It wasn't about making money. I mean, he. That. That was his job, was being a flat earther, and he was like, I'm gonna prove everybody wrong. And he flew out there and lost his job, his livelihood, and watched everything he's been researching.

[India]

Starts to feel like a. Like a new era. Like gambling.

[Drew]

Yeah. Yeah.

[India]

It's like, oh, watch, watch, watch. When it comes out that I'm right, all of y' all will be so mad.

[Drew]

And I'm.

[India]

Wait. I'm willing to stand here forever.

[Josiah]

Drew, don't you always say that, that the. There's, like, definitely no guy that looks like the Internet or inside out dad. You're always like, there's definitely no way that. That. That exists.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

So just saying in case somebody wants.

[India]

To prove you guys that.

[Drew]

No, no.

[Josiah]

Drew's an inside out dad. Denier.

[Drew]

Yeah. If. If you're an inside out dad, if you look like him, prove me wrong by coming into my bed and coming over over and over and over to my house, in my bed.

[India]

Control yourself.

[Drew]

Okay.

[India]

I think tiny desk is so awesome. And they have fully replaced. Because there was a. A time where it was really hard to find live albums and, like, live recordings that were cool and interesting for artists because that had kind of faded out. I feel like after VHS is in DVDs, that whole era of things faded out, and we still got documentaries. About musicians, but just, like, a good live recorded album. And I love Tiny Desk because it makes artists. It almost sets these grounds of, like, artists want to go in there and do a really good live sex. So that can be almost like a fully new rendition of their album. And that is so cool. And I wish I came up with Tiny Desk because it's so awesome.

[Drew]

Like, the dochi Tiny Desk.

[India]

The dochi one is, like, so, so good. It's so fun. Like, I've been listening to that one over the album. And also, I decided. I don't know, that it's a bad thing to say that you like someone hearing them live rather than their album. Like, do you think that's a mean thing to say?

[Josiah]

Is that.

[India]

I mean, I feel like I've had artist friends who get offended by that because they're like, what the. But I'm like, to me, that's a such a high compliment. But again, I don't make music. But if I. I can love your album, but if I see it live, I'm just gonna be like, wow, this is so good that I want to listen to the album more.

[Josiah]

Yeah, that makes sense.

[India]

But I feel like I've had someone in my life one time be like, that's so offensive. And I was like, my bad.

[Drew]

My bad. Drew. Say up. Ew.

[India]

That is, like, really gross.

[Drew]

That is, like. I know. I know. I also have no desire to hurt my gay followers. I am not gay, and even if I decide to try, at best, I would be bisexual. Just keeping it real. Guys love you if they talk behind your back. Art.

[India]

That's a good one.

[Drew]

My dick has led me to places I wouldn't even go with a gun. And then it's a silent hill picture.

[India]

That one is so good.

[Drew]

Girls nowadays be like, I got five kids. Brayden, Hayden, Jaden, Kaden, and Zaden. I'd be like, well, damn. Okay, then.

[India]

Whoa. Okay.

[Drew]

Imagine having sex in the 19th century. Oh, my God. You spend 15 minutes unbuttoning 650 buttons only to get a coochie that hasn't been washed since last week's river bath. That was a tweet from Freelance trash. I'm done with crystals. I need a gun.

[India]

No, seriously, really? Like, I'm not.

[Drew]

Those all came from anna Wintour. Yeah. Ms.

[India]

Win.

[Drew]

Oh, wait.

[India]

Oh, cool. This has been out of focus for I don't know how long.

[Drew]

No, it. It racks, focuses. It's broken now. It's been choked.

[India]

That was scary.

[Drew]

You ever walk by a bush and just pull a leaf off of it.

[India]

Yes.

[Drew]

And then we'll just. We'll just insert this meme because I think it's one of the funniest things I've ever seen and not enough people are talking about it. And also this one. Quandell Dingle. Dude, do you know where Quandell Dingle came from?

[India]

No, I have no idea what that is. Like, that's not the thing.

[Drew]

Picture Quandell Dingle. It was someone's like username for their Microsoft computer. And someone posted it on Instagram and said, who the goosey goofy ass name is this bruh and his name is Quandelle Dingle. And then it became Quandelle Dingle from like the group leader I always thought it was referencing. He's so cooked. Like, how did that happen?

[India]

We're like, duh.

[Drew]

Done. We're done.

[India]

Josie, can you show me that one video of the guy playing guitar on the bus?

[Drew]

My ass. Dead ass. Thought that was what animal testing was. Is that not so real?

[India]

You know what's up is like, until I saw this photo, I still thought that's what it was. Like, I still was like, yeah, that's what they do.

[Drew]

Okay, this one. Send that to me with the honking of the horn. Send that to me like. And send that to Guy.

[India]

Are you kidding me? Like, I love cameras.

[Drew]

I'm so happy we got here.

[India]

Like, imagine like the. The thing I'm wearing before. Like the person who owned this originally, they were bored as they never saw. Bored as fuck. They've never seen a screen. And I'm so happy.

[Drew]

I guess Made in China.

[India]

Like, actually this episode has brought me my Christmas joy. And I want a new iPad.

[Drew]

Really? You have a good ass iPad that I got you.

[India]

Okay, fine. Yeah, no, but I. I just want to unbox one.

[Drew]

What do you mean? I know what you mean.

[India]

I wanna like, I literally. I'm not kidding. If you wanted to get me a box and let me un. Like box it and reset it, I'd be like, like there's something fun about.

[Drew]

Like something so special about opening an Apple product on Christmas that like not enough people about.

[India]

I don't. I don't feel like it has the same sentiment before.

[Drew]

Oh, it used 2014, 2015, 20, 2016. Like that era. Opening a MacBook.

[India]

Like opening an ipod touch. And it was the color you wanted.

[Drew]

La la la la la. That's what this sounds like. This set.

[Josiah]

The Gilmore Girls.

[Drew]

Yeah, I can't do that. Gilmore Girls.

[India]

No, I.

[Drew]

Girl.

[Josiah]

I think it's like when they transition scenes.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[India]

Okay.

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Drew]

This is very feist coded. It's very feist. Like, one, two.

[India]

I'm gonna be sad that we're taking this down. It's so fun.

[Drew]

3, 4. Each day I love you more and.

[India]

Like, another song from that album from them.

[Drew]

Well, Happy holidays. The liberals made it problematic to say Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Shout out, y' all. Thanks for tuning in.

[India]

Thank you guys so much for. I keep feeling like it's the end of the year episode, and I think it's because we put so much, like, little, like, cute work into the set. It felt like a bigger deal because for me, New Year's is a bigger of a gag. Like, that's a crazy gag. Like, time is changing. Like, literally, times are actually here is rolling. It's changing in a big way. And Christmas is just like, okay.

[Drew]

Something major and special coming for New Year's, though.

[India]

I know. So I think I'm just so excited for the New Year's one. And I'll be sappy in that. I'll hold my tongue for now.

[Drew]

You're gonna be sapphic in that.

[India]

Sappy.

[Drew]

Oh, yeah, we'll. We'll cry in that one. Wait, they've never seen me cry. Have they seen me cry? Oh, I cried at, like, talking about Meline, how much I love her and how she was, like, pregnant and.

[India]

Oh, my God, Luna, baby. I love Luna. Luna today.

[Drew]

I know she facetimes us, like, almost every single day. She's obsessed with me.

[India]

She's starting to like me. She can say my name now, and.

[Drew]

Yet, like, had her hood on or some. And Luna was, like, terrified of her. And in. You let her hair down.

[India]

And Luna was like, yeah, so I guess without my fucking hair, I look like a scary man who's about to steal Drew's phone.

[Drew]

And she knows, like, mama, dad, dad go together. Pop and Gigi go together, and Enya and Drew go together. She's, like, doing in. Yeah, dude.

[India]

For the first time. I think after seeing those photos. It was after we did that shoot, I was sitting with Drew, and I realized I always found it so funny when people asked us, like, if we were. Oh, it was after that guy asked us if we're going to have kids.

[Drew]

Kids.

[India]

Like, somebody asked if we were gonna have kids, and I was like, what? Like, I was so confused by that question. And I forget that people really do perceive us as just, like, an attractive couple together. Like, when we're together and we're out in the world, people just think we're a couple. So, of course, Luna, like, in Luna's head.

[Drew]

I literally am her mama and dada. Too bad I'm Gunkle.

[India]

Well, no, we should, like. Okay, think about this.

[Drew]

Never.

[India]

That we should never, like, let Luna stop believing that we're together. And then one day, I'll just show up with my partner and you show up with yours, and we're both, like, with somebody.

[Drew]

My girlfriend. Not partner. I don't play that piece.

[India]

Okay, sorry. Your girlfriend? Yeah. Galefins.

[Drew]

My galefin.

[India]

And then we kiss our, like, actual partners and scare Luna and make her think that we're cheaters. Yeah, that's just the kind of things I think about when I think about raising a kid.

[Drew]

It's like, how can I really know when I raise a kid? I'm gonna sell it for $12,000 and a bag of heroin. No. I'm going to put it in a spherical dome and put it in, like, a cage with either a bunch of apes, orangutans, or tigers. And the animals are gonna, like, bring it in or alone and make it raise itself. Like, it can, like, we'll feed it and. But it, like, the food will just appear and see, like, what language it develops. Develops?

[India]

Well, technically, wouldn't it be better to even just, like, not give it food and just, like, plant food for it to learn how to grab?

[Drew]

Yeah, but, like, it's like an infant. It's not like a giraffe that, like, comes out, like, fully born. You have to, like, feed it boob milk.

[India]

And, dude, I just don't think I'm gonna have kids. Like, that's just not. It's not in my car.

[Drew]

I'm having kids as. And you're gonna be my surrogate.

[India]

It.

[Drew]

Are you carrying my kid artificially, though?

[India]

She's not coming in my house.

[Drew]

She's not coming in my temple.

[India]

She's not coming to my house.

[Josiah]

Oh. What?

[India]

Oh, I thought you were going to say.

[Josiah]

Oh, I was going to say.

[Drew]

That was probably so char.

[Josiah]

Yeah, I was like, what the. I was going to say, you know, giraffes come out and they can walk and they can navigate the world, but humans take, like, years, but we end up being super smart. We build rocketships, rocket ships and stuff. So if you're having trouble in life and you're like, oh, I don't know. You know, things aren't really working out yet. Well, the most intelligent species on this planet can't even walk until they're, like, six. So some of us just take a little bit longer. But we achieve greatness at the end of the day.

[India]

Oh, that's like. That's like you. Because you're, like, 50.

[Josiah]

I'm not 50.

[India]

Yeah, I see that.

[Drew]

That was beautiful.

[India]

That actually was. Was beautiful, right? Have you heard? Did someone say that to you?

[Josiah]

No, that was just an inspiring thing that I came up with.

[Drew]

That's beautiful. Do you want to hear something I drew?

[Josiah]

No, I'm. Swear to God.

[Drew]

You mean. What does that mean? Y' all have a little inside, too good.

[India]

Like e. Like, ew. Okay.

[Drew]

D1 level. Dude, he's ripped as. That might have been too much I myself.

[India]

Okay, well, thank you guys so much for watching. I hope everyone has happy holidays. Whatever you celebrate, I hope you get to be with your family or your chosen family because.

[Drew]

Or no family. Because you're a loser, honestly.

[India]

Yeah, that's why Drew's not. Drew's staying here for Christmas. Nobody invited him.

[Drew]

Beheaded or be disowned. Me, Brady and slip.

[India]

Okay, thank you guys so much for watching.

[Drew]

No, thank you. Enjoy your holidays. Peace and love.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and safeway. Now through June 24th, score hot summer savings and earn four times the points. Look for in store tags on items like Kinder Bueno cheese crackers, Oscar Meyer lunchables, and just bear chicken bites. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event long savings. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in store or online for easy drive up and go pickup or delivery subject to availability restrictions apply. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details.