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Drew
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Inya
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Drew
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Inya
Or your money back.
Drew
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Inya
Visit lifelock.com podcast terms apply. Hey guys, just me today. Inya's feeling a little sick under the weather. She's not feeling good. Oh, there she is.
Drew
I, I, it's, I, it's, I'm not, it's not that I'm sick, I just, I don't want to do Christmas this year, so.
Inya
Oh, so you're a scrooge, eh? Yeah, you're scrooge.
Drew
I'm scrooged up. I'm scrooged up and I'm ready to get wicked. Also, this is about to blow up the house. It's like this candle that's only meant to be sitting down and not actually carried around. And also earlier that like today I was convinced we had a gas leak, but that's because there's been all those like explosions and nothing at that ski resort, so.
Inya
So did you see the carbon monoxide poisoning in Virginia or Georgia? Yeah, yeah, 12.
Drew
I think it's like Georgia the country. Cuz I was like foreigners at a ski resort in Georgia.
Inya
Ski mountains in Georgia.
Drew
Josie, you have to get this. Take it, take it, take it, Josie. Oh, I already blew it out.
Inya
Is it hot?
Drew
Well, no. Have you like what?
Inya
I've never, I don't know.
Drew
It's not a pan.
Inya
He's scared of this. He's scared me to you. Are you to me? Talking about you.
Drew
You to me when I'm on my period and I use the bathroom and I tell you not to go in there yet.
Inya
Yeah.
Drew
One thing about me is I will blow the bathroom up and literally get terrified of anybody who walks by, because I'm like, are you going in there? You shouldn't go in there.
Inya
I know. She's literally, like, every time, like, she does that, she's like, don't go in there. Don't go in there. And I'm like, babe, I want to go in there. I want to smell what you had cooked.
Drew
Like, low key at this point. I like, was it today? At some point today you took a big fucking doo doo while my vape was in the bathroom and you were like, you're lucky I moved it, like, away from the toilet before I blew this shit up.
Inya
Oh, it was two days ago.
Drew
I literally just went in there the second you walked out. Because I was like, what am I gonna, like, smell his poop? Who gives a fuck? I want my vape.
Inya
Like, I take silent shits. I don't. My poop never smells.
Josie
Drew's poop doesn't smell at all.
Inya
Like, legitimately. Yeah. I don't know what it is.
Drew
For some reason, that doesn't sound like a health.
Inya
It's probably not.
Drew
That's good, because where's that guy's going?
Inya
It's re. Seeping back into my bloodstream. But we're not talking about again because we always talk about. But today was like.
Drew
Or this year for the podcast has been the grossest because of all your stomach issues.
Inya
The poop year. The poopier aliens flopped. They flopped as. I'm not even kidding. They, like, are in their flop arc. They took way too long to reveal themselves. We've been waiting since 20 drone. I'm saying that just in general. I've been thinking about it, like, I don't give a. Like, I really don't care. You can't make me care. These silly drones in New Jersey. No one gives a. Like, they're looking for ways joining my.
Drew
Side because I'm like, literally, okay. And if they are there, like, it's been long enough.
Inya
Don't get me wrong. Don't get me wrong. I'm gonna be gagged when they come because they will be revealed. But I'm just saying they're flopping right now, though.
Drew
I fear what they do get here. I'm gonna, like, fake not give a. I'd be like, okay.
Inya
The aliens flop era is lowkey serving. Wait, Josiah, what did you say?
Drew
I don't believe in aliens. Still.
Inya
Did you hear? Gay wig ran for pleas president. Gay wig ran for president. And they're in their flop era.
Drew
Who's Gay wig?
Inya
Oh, yeah, someone clocked gay wigs Tea. Yeah, noted.
Drew
Josie was showing me his likes and it was greening me out because I was like, I can't believe we live under surveillance society. And I don't give a. Because the amount of videos I get of people, like, falling, being weird, being crazy, like, take it all, like, keep all the data. As long as I get that. Once that ends, then it's.
Inya
Yeah, once my cat video stream ends, like, it's cooked. Like, Because I really, like, once every month, I just need to, like, re centralize myself and like, re stabilize my emotions. And I just interact with every single cat video I see on my feed. And I get little baby cute little kittens. And also something that's not talked about enough is that cats with their buttholes, stinky tuna, nasty fish breath, lick themselves clean. And they smell like fucking roses.
Drew
I know, they smell so good. Also, when Azul opens his mouth near me, bruh, it literally, like, singes my fucking eyelashes.
Inya
It's like, that's funny.
Drew
And it makes me. Sometimes it stinks bad enough that I get him off me. Like, even if he's being cute, don't put your mouth in my face.
Inya
Don't drop that dun dun.
Drew
Why you're doing so many, like, references from Vine.
Inya
I don't know. They're just coming out of me. I just can't stop coming. The memes just really can't stop coming. Like, noted. Frog sipping tea emoji.
Drew
No, wait. What were you saying yesterday? Wait, yesterday you kept repeating one that was, like, making me crack up.
Inya
Another satisfied customer.
Drew
No, not that.
Inya
Insert that meme. Kai, that's like, my favorite picture ever.
Drew
I'm not gonna. Oh, never mind. Never mind. You said a name and that's what it was. You said, like, an old name that I hadn't heard you say in a long time.
Inya
Wait, whisper it.
Drew
Lauren Geraldo.
Inya
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Lauren Geraldo. And. But it was referencing who? Camila Cabello. Yeah, we were talking about that Lemon song. But weren't they in a band together? Five stars. Lauren Geraldo and Camila Cabello were in five sauce together.
Drew
Oh. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Wait, wait. Because now I think we are thinking of even more different people. Because I was thinking of the girl who lives in Miami who got pregnant.
Inya
No, no, no, no. Wait, wait.
Drew
Lauren Geraldo. Is that name that.
Inya
That is a girl's name. But Lauren Geraldo is also on 5 sauce.
Drew
What's it called? It's like Vibe. Vibe girl. It's like some like.
Inya
Oh, the fifth Harmony.
Drew
Harmony. Oh, my God, dude. Like, I think our generation is gonna have earlier onset and dementia because there's too much we consume on a day to day basis to remember. Oh, yeah, see, that's still not Lauren Geraldo.
Inya
How do you say that? Luca Guadalajara.
Drew
Oh, did you see the clip of him talking about call me by your name about the like, nut scene? No, I need to play this because it literally is cracking me up. I was like, damn, I love artists. Because y'all are just weird as. Because the tone of this sentence when we were doing call me by your.
Inya
Name and Eliot has masturbated on the pitch.
Drew
Then he has fallen as fallen asleep. And then Oliver shows up and they have this moment of conversation. It's a bit salacious.
Inya
Oliver eats the peach with the cum.
Drew
It seems to be another heightened moment of sex.
Inya
And then eventually the both of them confesses each other that they are really desperate at the perspective that.
Drew
But yeah, he, like, he's so just.
Inya
Nonchalantly talking about, like the most infamous scene in modern movie history.
Drew
But not even that. Like, the.
Inya
Like, he came on the.
Drew
I think that movie and like that scene. I actually think, if you really think about it, it is such an interesting way to show, like, sexual tension between two characters. But I don't know if I would ever be able to eat it and.
Inya
Then nuts in the bath water and drinks it.
Drew
Like.
Inya
Like, what if he. What if he did that?
Drew
Like, okay, the bathwater. Like, I think it's been enough time. Salt burn Sucked dick and balls.
Inya
Yeah, sorry.
Drew
It's been enough time.
Inya
I never saw.
Drew
Y'all aren't with Barry Keoghan right now. Like, nasty. Ill, ill, ill, man. Yeah, that movie sucked. I'm probably gonna cut that because I'm actually so terrible.
Inya
Didn't he cheat on Sabrina Sabina?
Drew
Like, us imagining us doing like a pop culture podcast.
Inya
So then Barry Keoghan cheated on Sabrina Carpenter.
Drew
Oh, my God. Right?
Inya
Yeah. Sawburn suck dick and balls. Don't give a. About that movie. Never saw it. So I really can't talk. I don't give a.
Drew
And then I think everybody we know didn't like it.
Inya
So now it's just like, Barbie flopped. Like, Barbie sucked. Like, I never saw it either. Harry Potter, the whole series sucks. Never saw.
Josie
Okay, that's too far.
Inya
That. Oh, take that.
Drew
Harry Potter is actually disgusting.
Inya
You look like you're in Harry Potter right now.
Drew
Oh, their swag was superior.
Josie
Oh, yeah. You do kind of look like Dumbledore a little bit with the. With the hat.
Inya
You look like Dobby. You give Dobby.
Drew
I lowkey do feel like Dobby.
Inya
You give Jabba the Hut.
Drew
I actually feel like Dobby when I get out of the sauna and I'm like, wait, job.
Inya
India's so Jabba the Hut coded.
Drew
I almost said something that if, like, the public heard me say it, it would say so much about my personhood.
Inya
Say it.
Drew
Oh, actually, I think I've said it on the podcast before. That. That freaky ass scene with Jabba the Hutt and Princess Leia. I was like, damn, this is freaky. As a kid. I was like, wait, like.
Inya
Like, you were into it?
Drew
I was just like, are they gonna. She's being really sexy.
Inya
Wait, which scene?
Drew
When? Like, I haven't seen Star Wars Dance. And I was like. As a kid. I was like, is she gonna get naked? Like, what is she about to do? I thought this was Star Wars.
Inya
Oh, the gold bikini scene.
Drew
Yes.
Inya
This is literally. You, like, actually, like, this is not.
Drew
Me in the back seat.
Inya
Insert backseat photo next to Jabba the Hutt photo, because that's literally twinning. That's twin right there.
Drew
Okay. Did you see this, though?
Inya
That's my light. Better not be me.
Drew
Hey.
Inya
Wait.
Drew
That was actually kind of impressive.
Inya
That was kind of good.
Drew
And I can't follow you up because my throat is so dry.
Inya
Josiah, it. It was pretty good. He said it was really, really, really good. He said it was, like, basically better than he could ever do. I didn't say that.
Drew
Josiah, whose, like, songs from Wicked do you think you could sing easier what Cynthia does or Ariana?
Inya
Ariana. Ariana.
Drew
Yeah. I'm not kidding. I. I wish I could watch Wicked in my house already. And it's actually kind of pissing me off that it's not just on streaming services.
Inya
Okay.
Josie
No.
Inya
Okay. I was just making sure you have that big. I have this big hole.
Josie
Ew, Drew, I saw your. For a second. I'll blur it.
Inya
But that wasn't. You're actually.
Drew
Well, you actually are so sustainable for this.
Josie
Oh, it's like.
Inya
No, it's really.
Josie
Was that my Christmas present?
Inya
No, you get your Christmas present a little later. Okay. And in you too.
Drew
I don't want one.
Inya
I want that.
Drew
She's not coming to my house.
Inya
She is not coming to my house.
Drew
That's our new thing. She's not coming to my house.
Inya
She's not coming to My house. It's Shoddy. They talking about Ashley Trevino.
Drew
He's getting me an Airbnb. If not, I'm gonna be staying at Shoddy Bay's house. She's not coming to my house.
Inya
She's not coming to my house.
Drew
Somebody I'm not that close to. Coming to my house kind of feels like a hostage situation.
Inya
It's really, really, like. It's.
Drew
It is navigating such scary territory. I feel like people who just invite people to hang out for the first time to their house directly, it feels.
Inya
Like something, like, nasty is gonna happen. I don't know. Like, literally, though. Like, I don't know, like, something like.
Drew
Someone'S gonna have sex.
Inya
Yeah. Or just, like, spooky vibes, like, creepy energy.
Drew
Well, yeah. Well, that's the difference, too. I will say if, like, if it's somebody who I find attractive. Oh, I'll invite them over. Like, if that's what I'm looking for.
Inya
My house, she is coming to me.
Drew
If not, if it's just a friend, I'm like, she's not coming to my house.
Inya
Oh, you know what? We've been saying way too much. Just vote.
Drew
Just.
Inya
Just vote. And I realize there's, like, so many ways to say it. Like the word. You can be like you, or you can be like. Like, what the. Like, literally so many different ways, and it's just all of the inflection. You can say, just vote the same way. Like, just vote. Like, just vote. Or you can say, just vote. Damn.
Drew
Or you can even bring it lower and be like, just vote.
Inya
Just vote.
Drew
Like, just vote. I feel like both of us, when we do that, just vote.
Inya
Yeah, I guess you could do that. Any word. Like, just vogue, too.
Drew
Just two adult idiots.
Inya
Just vape. Just vape.
Drew
Wow. I mean, yeah, we just went over enunciation, basically. So somebody out there learned something. Somebody was like, oh, my God, my eyes are open. You could say things so many different ways. Like, I don't like Drew because he's gay.
Josie
What?
Drew
Like, I could say, and I don't.
Inya
Like you because you're a fat monster. Yucky fat monster. I thought you had java on java.
Drew
I'd be down for. No, I was gonna say I'd be down for the nickname Jabba, but just. Just vote.
Inya
Just literally just. Well, tick tock is getting banned, but it's kind of starting to piss me off because y'all are acting like I'm gonna let that happen. Like, that's just not happening. If I'm in the.
Josie
Or are you Gonna stop it.
Drew
That's what I'm saying.
Inya
I'm just saying it's not gonna happen and I have my way.
Drew
Are you saying that the way you say big things are coming or like.
Inya
Well, no, big things are always coming.
Drew
Like, that's just like, yeah, things. Things are always happening.
Inya
Actually, big things just can't stop coming. Big things just because they keep coming. No, TikTok is getting banned as fuck. And like, actually, I don't think it really is. I was just gonna, like, have a moment where I was like, it's getting banned, but it's like, literally not like I. I will put a million dollars on it. That it won't.
Drew
Yeah, I just don't believe it will. But then in the slight chance that it does get banned, all I think about is, I remember I thought it was the end of the world when, like, vine was dying down. And even before TikTok popped off, I feel like Twitter was starting to die down and people were moving to IG and IG was starting to plateau and then Tik Tok blew up. So I feel like there will be something else. And that's what I'm interested in, is like, how many stinky, nasty wealth hoarding are like, I have a new idea. Like, here's the new thing. I feel like we're going to start seeing post paid content make. I'm posting on my new app, like, Instagram.
Inya
I'm sorry. You did it best. Like, I take back everything I ever said. Talking about you stealing everything from every other fucking.
Drew
Yeah, they did.
Inya
Ever. They did it the best. Like, I'm tired. Like, Tik Tok cannot integrate photos.
Drew
Snapchat. You're not cutting it. Like, Snapchat is fudgeing. Gross. How scary to me.
Inya
My opinion will change if Snapchat starts fucking paying me. How about that?
Drew
You don't. You've never. You don't even have that app on your phone right now.
Inya
But that's what I'm saying.
Drew
Shut up.
Josie
But reels need to chill because I swear I see like borderline gore videos.
Inya
Oh, no. I see people die on reels, like, literally every single day.
Josie
They want you to use reels so bad, they'll show you.
Drew
Because only the men I know say that. All of the girls I know.
Inya
I've never had a really algorithm thing because I don't interact with any of them. I'll be scrolling and I'll see someone get run over and scroll by really quickly, but I still get fed them. But I think it just like knows that like men are more likely to consume like gore content because like men are evil. Like, and it's really barbaric and it's like blood memories. It's like, let's go to war and kill people. Like, like epigenetic. Like for real. Like it's fudgeing creepy.
Drew
Like everyone is so fudgeing bored. But like, if they do get rid of it, I think something new will like replace it. And also I kind of think it might be good.
Inya
Oh, it'll.
Drew
For my life, for my anxiety.
Inya
It'll be net positive for everyone's psyche. But I am really worried about like the businesses on there.
Drew
I'm worried about the businesses. And also like it has done. It's come with a lot of negatives, but it has shifted so much and it is. I mean, I feel like that's why, duh, they want to get rid of.
Inya
It because like there's too many conversations that have being had that they don't want to be had.
Drew
But they're like, do we really need to fight for this? Like I get your data from everything else.
Inya
Like it's a data gold mine, baby. But yeah, I'm not gonna let that happen. Like, just wait.
Josie
Have you noticed when you're on tick tock and then you don't look at the screen, it runs an ad because like if you're away from your phone, it'll run an ad because you can't skip it. Have you ever had that happen?
Inya
No, but that's. Yeah, I know. They play ads at the end of videos now sometimes.
Josie
Really? Whenever I'm like watching something and I put it down, wash dishes, it'll play an ad.
Inya
Wait, you wash dishes?
Josie
Yeah, of course.
Inya
That's what girls are for, babe.
Josie
No, I think men should be doing that actually.
Inya
Oh, okay. Like she's not going to have sex with you, bro.
Josie
Is she really not?
Inya
She really isn't, bro.
Drew
The like weird ass way you just shifted your voice was like, really?
Inya
She's not going to have sex with you, bro. Brody, bro, she really is not gonna bang you, bro. Hey guys, we would like to take a quick break to thank one of today's sponsors, zocdoc.
Drew
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Inya
We're talking about in network appointments with more than a hundred thousand healthcare providers across every teeth from Mental health to dental health, eye care to skin care, and much, much more. I have crushy toe syndrome and I need to go to the doctor for my crushy toe. I swear I have crushy toe.
Drew
If you don't know what that is, that's athlete's foot. So Drew will be going and getting the stench.
Inya
I don't have athletes foot like stinky stinky feet.
Drew
But you have soft dog so it'll get fixed quickly. So I don't know why you're so embarrassed.
Inya
This is propaganda being spread about me. I do not have crushy toe syndrome.
Drew
Crushy toe syndrome. I'm looking at his Octoc app right now. He has a doctor like booked already. Plus Zoc doc appointments happen fast, typically within just 24 to 72 hours of booking. You can even score same day appointments. So stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to Zocdoc.comIntercom to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today. That's z o c doc.com Intercom Z o c doc.com Intercom hey guys, we want to take a quick break to thank one of today's sponsors, Shopify. Shopify is going to be good for a lot of businesses who get a lot of people like me who forget to get someone to gift and lie about it and have to do the shopping after the holidays. Thank you Shopify.
Inya
No one does selling better than Shopify. Home of the number one checkout on the planet. With shop pay that boosts conversions up to 4, 50%. Way less cards go abandoned and sales go up.
Drew
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Inya
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Drew
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Inya
The business behind the business is oftentimes what makes the business successful. And that is where Shopify comes into play, babe. So tap in because with Shopify it makes selling way easier. And if it's easier, that's more money in your pockets.
Drew
Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.comintercom all lowercase go to shopify.comintercom to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.comintercom y'all.
Inya
I saw someone. Do y'all remember when people were riding Harambe in president? Like people really did that? Like no, we did that. You did that. No, people wrote Harambe in for presidency, which is like actually crazy first of all. But then I'VE been seeing a lot of conversation around Harambe recently. That's what I'm getting into it. Let me get into it. I saw someone say something that absolutely shook my. Shook me to my core and blew my mind. And I pray it's a reality very soon in the next four years. But I saw someone saying that soon, one day on the Internet, we will see a video saying the time I fell into a gorilla enclosure at the Cincinnati Zoo. Story time. Oh, a story time from the kid that killed Harambe. The mobs. That will come out.
Drew
Okay, well, the kid didn't kill Harambe. Like, he didn't.
Inya
He fell into the enclosure. It's on him. The blood is.
Josie
No, but I'm like, that kid's what, like seven now?
Drew
Or eight in my head in the video, he is literally like this small.
Inya
No, he was. He was like being dragged. Wait, that's actually the funniest thing that ever happened on the Internet. Like him being dragged by a monkey.
Drew
It is so fucked up. Like, was he injured after that? I almost feel like we shouldn't be talking.
Inya
No, the kid was fine. The monk, like the gorilla died. Like, that's the tea.
Josie
Oh, it was almost 10 years ago.
Inya
No way.
Josie
Yeah. This person could technically make the video.
Inya
He's probably 12 or 13.
Drew
No, he has to be like May.
Josie
May 28, the day after my birthday. 2016. Yeah.
Inya
Wait, you were 48 back then?
Josie
No, no, no, no.
Inya
10 years ago.
Josie
I was probably like 11. I was probably around the kid.
Inya
Yeah, I think he was two because he looked like a two year old.
Josie
Like a two year old.
Inya
So he was fine.
Drew
I'm just literally laughing because I have such like, cognitive dissonance because of so many of these things. Like, in my head, it is a meme and it's not real at this point. Like, it is surpassed being anybody involved. Like the kid who kicked that Krispy Kreme sign back at it again at Krispy Kreme.
Inya
And that's.
Drew
I love him to see what happened after. And there's really no, like, conversation about what happened after. And there's no way to track that kid down. So I'm like, that person's just alive.
Inya
That's literally my favorite people video of all time. And that is literally something I think about all the time. Is like, what was the aftermath? Like, did he go to jail? Like, did they put the sign back up and just like, no questions asked. Just like, keep moving because, like, really what happened? But, ah, dude, that video is so good. But there's so Many things like that. Like what happened after. That's how. Literally, that's how sequels should be. Like, I'm tired of these sequels, like, coming up with new bunk ass stories. Like, no. Like, I want to see, like, the happy ending continued. Like, I want to see them. Like Monsters, Inc. Like, I want Monsters Inc. 2. By the way, Monsters is the greatest movie of all.
Drew
Because Monsters University, which is just wicked.
Inya
I think there was a Monsters Inc. 2. I think. Really, if there's not, that's a Mandela effect. But there is Monsters University for sure.
Josie
There's a sex scene. That's how I remember there's a second one.
Drew
There's no way that passed, like, even at that time. So anyways, no, okay, I was right. There is no Monsters Inc. 2. It's Monsters, Inc. And then Monsters Universe.
Inya
See, but that's what I'm saying. I need. Like, I saw. I watched Monsters Inc. Two times in.
Drew
Three days while I was talking about it.
Inya
It's literally one. It's a masterpiece.
Drew
Seriously, Won't.
Josie
Because the blue one is kind of true.
Inya
Oh, no. He's literally the hottest. Yeah, he's liter is hot as. Like, I don't give a.
Drew
Like, he's been.
Inya
Are there any cosplayers of su.
Drew
Oh, my God.
Inya
We're looking this up right now.
Drew
Well, no. Like, I don't need to see a man acting like that. Like, that's pushing it.
Inya
No, he eats. Like, what are you talking about?
Drew
I almost feel like we can't put that in because if somebody laughed at me the way I just laughed at that man.
Josie
Please. I'm not.
Drew
Like, this is.
Inya
If I was blue, I would be green. I would die. If I was green, I would.
Drew
You guys like the set I ordered? Like, hold on, wait. All of the little decorations and stuff.
Inya
I gotta finish talking about Monsters, Inc. So I think movie sequels should be the happy ending. Because I also watched Lilo and Stitch another masterpiece. But. Oh my God, I'm like, literally about to start crying thinking about the final scene. Like the final five minutes of Monsters Inc. When Boo is in the room and like, she's like, kitty. And she runs back to the door and swings it open and the door is nowhere.
Drew
Toy Story 2 basically. Basically did this.
Inya
Toy Story 2. Toy Story 2 is the worst movie I've ever seen. Literally the worst movie. So annoying, because I watched that one as well.
Drew
Wait, actually, are you being serious right now?
Inya
I hate Toy Story 2. Oh, I love the. I love the boot getting painted to chill. No, no, no. I love the boot getting Painted. And I love the scene where he fixes Woody up because there's so many, like, sensory moments in it that I remember from my childhood. But, like, the mo. The concept, like. Like, it's focused on Buzz Lightyear too much, and I hate Buzz Lightyear. I'm like.
Drew
But I feel like that was almost like the gag of it.
Inya
Yeah.
Drew
It's like he's, like, this overpowering person who runs people over, and he has to learn to chew.
Josie
Wow. Yeah, that makes sense.
Inya
Yeah. There is, like, a lot of scenes from.
Drew
If you actually, like, watch and listen, you might find that every movie has something to teach you. You can use that for future reference if you want.
Inya
Get out.
Drew
No. Ew. Drew was doing this not last thing yesterday, where I, like, walked away from him, and I was like, oh, I need to go wash my face. And he's like, you're gonna wash your face. And I was like, yeah. He was like, good girl. And I was like, ew, stop. And I walked to his room, and everything I did, he kept saying it, and I was like, and you sit.
Inya
On the edge of my bed. Good girl. Wait, Kai. Sit there.
Josie
I am.
Inya
Good boy.
Josie
I blushed.
Inya
Talking to the mic and blush. Good boy.
Josie
The best is a clever girl.
Inya
Clever, clever girl.
Drew
That is great.
Inya
Cover girl.
Drew
Clever girl.
Inya
Charles being cover girl. Just vote, like, actually just like, wait.
Drew
He really that up. I've never seen another boy. They were like. They're like, fool me once.
Inya
No, wasn't Manny Mua. I think Manny Mua cover boys. Or wasn't Bach that, like, one with eyebrows?
Drew
Bach from Wicked. Who is Bach?
Inya
No, the one with the eyebrows that does that dance.
Drew
What? I don't know what you're talking about.
Inya
No, it really was a moment. It was a moment. It was a moment like, mountains move. Mountains move, y'all. There was a apparently lands filled. Lands filled. Holes unfilled. There was apparently a tornado in San Francisco. A quote, unquote tornado.
Drew
Bye. Bye, bye.
Inya
I saw the videos. Y'all really need to get a grip. Like, if you have seen the horrors that I've witnessed and even been a part of claiming that that was a tornado is almost disrespectful, impactful to me.
Drew
If you've seen the things we've seen. Yeah, that's literally what I said to Drew. Like, he brought it up to you. He was like, oh, my God. There was a. On YouTube, like, there was a tornado in California. He was like, yeah, but did you see the videos? I was like, oh, I know. They were kind of bung and he goes, if only they knew the kind of things we've seen. And we are both talking about imagining someone saying that publicly on the.
Inya
About YouTube videos. Because that's what we've seen is.
Drew
Yeah. Oh, I should have clarified. Yeah. What I've seen is so many YouTube videos. I feel like I've seen every video there is of a tornado. At this point, I'm down to like, pictures from 1810 of a weird dust bunny.
Inya
Yeah. No, literally, I couldn't. If you show me a frame of a tornado, I could tell you where it's from in the day.
Drew
Yeah, he has done that. It's really weird. Somebody never say it. No, I was gonna say somebody made us feel crazy in person for liking tornadoes. And I haven't been watching as many. Many more because I'm like, I guess really ruin the.
Inya
Suck the fun out of it, Mr. Scrooge.
Josie
Like, I don't understand what's bad about a tornado. There's nothing.
Inya
It's like. Nothing is bad about it. It's literally listening and learning. Nothing is bad about it. Well, I just realized. Oh, wait, no, no. Something we really need to talk about is the you guy. Like, what is it? The you got says the you guy. Can I. Can I. Has a cheeseburger.
Drew
Says, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Inya
That something.
Drew
Something I says I said with Joyce.
Inya
Yeah, something. Something I said with Joy's. Wow, I haven't stubbed my toe in five years. Said with the Joy's man. Like, whatever it is. Like, can I go to toilet, please? This.
Drew
I guess.
Josie
Can I go to toilet, please?
Drew
I asked teacher, you said my teacher who was actually the you guy.
Inya
Like, that's so millennial.
Drew
It's so bad. Also, I don't think it's aging. I think somebody.
Inya
I think it's those two second horror sentence, like two second scary story and then some random dudes like reading them because there's like this subreddit where there's like two sentence horrors.
Drew
But you said the you man. Like, ew.
Inya
Well, that's the thing is, like, it's unfunny and like it's unscary and someone submitted it being dead ser. And so that's what I think that's what it is. But yeah, let me go to this subreddit.
Drew
Should I crush your toes right now?
Inya
Oh, I already have crushy toe syndrome.
Drew
You like, you're not using that right? Because everything.
Inya
I know what crushy toe syndrome is, but I. Anything. Any pains around my toes.
Drew
Also, I know what crushy toe syndrome is. Like, they. No one says that. So you actually don't know what it is.
Inya
Two sentence, two horror. Let's sort by the top. Oh, wait. I wish I could sort by top in real life. I wish I could sort by top on Grindr. What is Grindr? I was playing with my boobs. No, you're not. Said knife guy. Then a brick fell on my. Okay. Derp random.
Drew
Like, I know it's like the scariest part of the Internet because it's like you're literally don't funny. Like, it's just not funny. But it feels like a sound that people are using right now. And in 10 years, it's gonna get made fun of. Like, I partook in some Tick Tock sounds that I now look back and I'm like, that's cringy that I did that. But whenever I was young, but now I can see one of those from a mile away.
Inya
I told my therapist I watched a girl drown when I was 15. I could have saved her, but I was too scared. I know. She said as she got up to lock the door. That was my daughter.
Drew
That's like, I. I just woke up from a crazy dream. This needs to be a movie ass like synopsis.
Inya
I come in the sink. It does not stop. I sink in the come.
Drew
That's the salt burn dialogue.
Inya
Or really, like, really bad dude.
Drew
The year is actually almost over.
Inya
I know time is speeding up. Time is dilating. I really do think it's either the information age that we're living in. Also. Don't even get me tarts. Don't even get me started about AI super intelligence, y'all. If we keep going at the rate we're going at now, in the next 10 years, it'll be over for us.
Drew
That just means I'm gonna kill myself.
Inya
So I'm out of topic.
Drew
Oh, is that it for you?
Inya
Yeah. Well, I got one more.
Drew
I got one more because I got hella.
Inya
I'll. I'll do my last one, guys. I was going through my Tick Tock, Tick Tock shop orders, and something came across my mind and heart, and it dredged up beautiful memories of the past. And I wish we could return to such a sweet time. And I went to go reorder it, but the shop has been closed down for what I'm assuming is mold poisoning or killing people. But I saw the spicy bowl on Tick Tock again in my order.
Drew
Completely so annoying because I was like, oh. Oh, my God, am I about to get to open a gift? Like, I was making it about me. I was like, wait, this is gonna be so cute. That's what you're talking about.
Inya
Also, wait, guys, do I look good today?
Josie
You do. You guys both look good.
Drew
Drew has this issue where if he gets complimented, like, one too many times in a day, he just gets so used to it. And he basically asked for compliments for the rest of the day. And I'm calling you out.
Josie
But I think you guys both look great, and I think the set looks great.
Drew
Thank you.
Inya
Yeah. And you cooked. Oh.
Josie
And you brought.
Inya
It's gonna blow.
Josie
And explosive.
Inya
It's like that one Bjork video of her at this stage. Explosions.
Drew
Boom. Boom. Yeah.
Inya
And then add an explosion.
Josie
Oh, okay. Okay.
Drew
I think Luigi needs to get let go because there's a few more CEOs to deal with, because if I see another Burger King comment on a video of a girl trying curl cream, I'm gonna freak the fuck out. Like, wait, what? Why are, like, burger king, Wendy's AutoZone, like, trying to get the top comment on just random, like, things that have nothing to do with the brand. And I saw. Yeah, I've seen an AutoZone comment. I swear to God.
Inya
What the.
Josie
Like, I. I'm blown away that people are still. They are still entertained by.
Inya
Yeah. Like, oh, my God. They commented like, yeah, why Taco Bell tried that out on me first, by the way. I'm literally not Slim Jim and Taco Bell.
Drew
Oh, yeah, Literally. In your comments on ig, they were inside of my.
Inya
Like, they were literally up my ass. Like, it was insane. They were obsessed with me. And same with Red Bull.
Drew
Like, Drew was so annoyed because Drew wanted to block them, but felt bad for whoever was doing their job.
Inya
Yeah. Like, I was like, I'm not gonna, like, ruin your job. Like, you can meet your quota for how many likes you get or whatever the. But, like, don't play with pay me.
Drew
Like, it's also just annoying because in my head, I'm like, like, okay, well, now what? Like, I don't think anybody's gonna see the comment in my comment section from, like, Toys R Us.
Josie
But it still gets, like, 40, 000 likes. People like, oh, my gosh, I can't believe that Burger King is commenting.
Drew
Yeah, and. But it's literally because I guess, I don't know. They're like, anything is an ad. Anything is an ad. Like, just get out of the comments. Get out of the comments. I think, honestly, also, just stop making social media. I know you exist. Like, a person doesn't need an idiot.
Inya
The greatest all publicity is good publicity moment was gorilla glue. Hair girl, when she put that shit in her hair, I guarantee their stock prices rose by 45%, like, in a minute. Like, they're probably not a publicly traded company, but you know what I mean? Like, that shifted things, dude.
Drew
I feel like we were talking about that, like, as a society for a year straight.
Inya
Great.
Drew
Like, I'm still talking about it in my head. That is still. And it has fully made such a dent in the culture that I feel like there were a lot of, like, hair glue companies and eyelash companies that changed their bottles and their labels because they didn't want anybody to get it mixed up and, like, get something else. And also, it cracks me up because I think the gel she was originally going for is literally a gel my dad used. Used to use called, like, Moscos or something.
Inya
I know they're gorillas.
Drew
Yeah. Like, it's gorilla snot, but, like, my dad used to call it Moscos because that's, like, boogers and it's gorilla snot. So in my head, I'm just like, why is that the gel she was using in the first place? Like, it feels like such a.
Inya
She was just like, I. In my head, I always imagined her, like, being like, damn, I cheated the system. Like, this is gonna stay for a week straight. Like, oh, and I don't have to take it out. Like, like, don't have to do my hair every single day.
Drew
Yeah. That is, like, I can't even get on her because that's the kind of stupid I used to do. And that's why my hair was fried all the time, because I would do dumb to my hair. Like, I tried to do a straight perm on my hair after I bleached it once the strings. I was, like, tired of the heat damage. Oh, I'll just, like, permit it. Literally. Like, I had chunks of hair rolling down my back, which is insane to think about. I used to just literally burn my hair off my head.
Inya
You did not care the time. I really did not. And that was pre K18 era.
Drew
Like, oh, that was pre everything. That was literally. I remember you, like, wouldn't be able to get certain hair coloring things at the store without having a Sally license. Like, there was, like, a bunch of. There was no hair color removal that you could buy if you didn't have, like, a license or something. And I used to steal it. I sure did. I fucking stole it. Because they were just these slim L'Oreal packets, and I would just go and, like, slip one like, into my, like, hoodie sleeve, and then I would, like, buy the rest of my stuff.
Inya
Chic.
Drew
They weren't even expensive. They were. I think they were, like, $10. Just sell me that. Literally, like, so annoying. Why is it on the shelf?
Inya
Like, don't give me star.
Drew
I don't like Sally Beauty. And guess what? I feel like Sally Beauty fell off. Like, nobody's going there anymore.
Inya
Like, I've been to your. Nobody knew you because everything is locked up. Like.
Drew
Well, no, it's because we got Amazon.
Inya
No, it's because you can't buy anything without a license. It's locked behind a license.
Drew
Yeah.
Inya
Well, something very, very, very something I need to do. Very need that. There is. Is a plane crash simulator in Melbourne.
Drew
Oh, okay.
Inya
Australia. And I.
Drew
Did you, like, practice how you were gonna pronounce that?
Inya
No, that's how you pronounce it.
Josie
I know, but, like, that's how Australian people pronounce.
Inya
Yeah, that's how you pronounce it.
Josie
I feel like Americans say Melbourne.
Inya
Yeah, that's wrong. And I'm right.
Drew
Okay. How would you.
Josie
Practicing in front of a mirror.
Drew
How would you say Melbourne?
Inya
Melbourne. Melbourne. If you say Melbourne three times, a magpie comes out of the mirror and eat your eyeballs. Melbourne, bro. Australia.
Drew
When you say it like that, it just sounds like a name, though. Like, Melbourne.
Inya
Melbourne. Like, what?
Drew
That's not the accent. Loki. All those accents do kind of sound the same.
Inya
You could. You could put four people in front of me that speak different dialects. Australian, Irish, British, and whatever a fourth one is.
Drew
Irish accent.
Inya
Ireland.
Drew
Yeah. Like, I like. There's, like, a few actresses, like Sasha Ronan. However you say her name. Oh, yeah, Ladybird. Like, I love her accent.
Josie
How do you say her name? It's like, Saoirse. Damn.
Drew
I'm making it, like, two something it's not.
Inya
But there's that plane crash simulator that I really need to experience. But it's one of those things where I'm like, do we really need this? Like, this is, like, really, like, not okay.
Drew
No, they're like. Even from me, I'm like, that's pushing.
Inya
Pushing it.
Drew
Yeah, you're really pushing it because have.
Inya
You seen those Church.
Drew
What are we talking about? But I guess it's like what I said last week. Like, the haunted house. If you really think about it, like, what are we doing? Like, we're simulating, like, being chased and hunted down by a murderer. Like a chainsaw. Like, you have fake blood smells and gut smells everywhere. Like, it really is freaky deaky.
Inya
Have you seen there's this like traveling like, like almost haunted house thing for churches. But it's like the rapture. It must be like deep south, like Central America.
Drew
Need to go to that. Because if it's anything like those mega church Christmas shows.
Inya
Oh, it's Count me the. I know that looks lit. Like, I'm sorry of pretending like I don't want to be there, but like.
Drew
That looks really sorry. They brought the fireworks inside and Santa's flying over. If I smoke before I go in there, bitch, I. I seriously think I will believe in magic.
Inya
I'm tired. I'm tired of pretending like that's not lit. Like, obviously, like it's not lit. Like we know that. But like, like, yeah, it looks fun.
Drew
Well, it's just I feel like I'm really fear mongered and some of it is based in a reality for what the next year of life will look like. Ho. If I'm going out, I'm going out with a bang. I will be in spiritual psychosis all of 2025.
Inya
God is good.
Drew
Having. Having the best time of my life. I'm going know Easter. It's going down.
Inya
Movie on Easter.
Drew
It's a movie.
Inya
It's a movie on Easter.
Drew
Like, I'll be celebrating all the holidays this year because I feel like it's genuinely my last year to live. So what's the first holiday of the year?
Inya
January 6th. The insurrection. Be there, be square. We're turning up y'all.
Drew
I.
Inya
Wait, hold on.
Drew
No, that's on Christmas. I was going to say the Wicked Sing along in theaters. That'll be a movie.
Inya
There is something else happening on Christmas. Let's just say a takeover. A Christmas day takeover by moi.
Drew
Okay, what does that mean? Oh, something big is coming.
Inya
Something big.
Josie
Oh, really? That's gonna be crazy. That's the best Christmas present I've ever.
Inya
Yeah, it's gonna be really special. But those traveling RA raptures are like, literally like, every time you say it.
Drew
I'm like, what the are you talking?
Inya
And yeah, it's exactly what it sounds like. They set up a haunted house.
Drew
I'm not quite sure I can grasp what a rapture really entails.
Inya
It's like everybody that was good to God and God loves, like, gets sucked up into heaven and then everybody else. He's not coming to my house. That's literally.
Drew
The Tick Tock is so funny. We need to insert it.
Inya
So you're getting hungry.
Drew
Really hungry.
Inya
Head to Jack in a box and pick up a smash Jack.
Drew
It's a Juicy delicious smashed burger topped with cheese, pickles, grilled onions and boss sauce.
Inya
And it's now available on Sourdough. The Smash Jack. Only a jack in the box? Order one on the Jack app today.
Drew
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Inya
Shop last minute deals now, but they travel to these like churches in the middle of America like and set up like a haunted hayride and like, like a haunted house and you pay like $15 to go inside and it simulates like the rapture. Like it's like crashed.
Drew
So it's like world after all but for like.
Inya
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're walking through. Exactly. And there's like a, there's literally there, there's a hole in the ground. I'm walking on the ride.
Drew
I'm paying to walk.
Inya
Yeah. And then there's a hole in the ground where there's like a devil like grabbing scare actors and throwing them into hell. Like it's really, really crazy and it's, it's the scariest. It literally is terrifying. And like if you are not mentally stable, like if you're kind of destabilized, do not go to that because it will really, really you up because it's scary as. But did you also have those?
Drew
I'm just like, I think I have very existential and like scary anxiety inducing thoughts but at the end of it, it is not that deep. Guess what? I'm going to go.
Inya
Am I? Do I really Do I have a, A choice?
Drew
Yeah, like if I have a choice or not. Like honestly, just vote. Just vote.
Inya
Also like hell seems like, I mean heavens kind of seems like a prison to me because like you're just happy all the time. Like you like that Seems cooked and you're, like, trapped in, like, this.
Drew
And they're not selling podcast mics in heaven.
Inya
And there's no weed nowhere. There's no weed. There's no opiates for me to do. Like, it's really, like, actually cooked up there. Like, I think pure euphoria 24. 7 sounds like a genuine nightmare because, like, that's what heroin addicts go through, and they're. They literally all want to die. So, anyways, have y'all seen the. The other thing? Did y'all school do this where it was, like, a drunk driving accident and they brought out, like, crashed cars? Oh, yes, my school.
Josie
I thought about that since it happened.
Inya
Really trauma, like, inducing, like, really, really scary. I was still drunk driving. What does that sound?
Josie
Wait, what did you just say?
Inya
Nothing before. No, I wasn't drunk driving. Yo. I don't play with that. Like, that shit's literally not funny.
Josie
They did it. They. The girl was, like, covered in blood, like, Carrie style. Yeah. And they. They, like, carried her through.
Inya
Did they have the Jaws of Life, like, cutting her out of the car?
Josie
I don't remember that part. I just vividly remember the blood. And I was.
Drew
Thank God y'all schools were, like, being freaky deaky. As with you, My school did not do that well.
Inya
We did a photo shoot, and I look really, really hot in it. And I can't talk about it, but just know I literally look. Look good.
Drew
Yeah, we were, like, screen mirroring the pictures, and we were both like.
Inya
We were like, we look good. Like, we literally look good as in them. But the first shot of me of the day, they had me in these really, really short shorts, and I didn't think to wear boxer briefs. I wore Drew Max new boxers. Snow Pond, literally. Go check them out. I swear to God, I get, like, compliments in the locker room wearing these boxers at Snow Pond. Please go buy them all, because they're so cute. Actually, don't, because I want them for myself. But I was wearing those boxers to the shoot, and they're, like, boxer boxers or, like, baggy. And they had me in these short, like, shorts, and I sat down on the ground, and 98 of the photos of me and poses of me were just vanished into thin air. So I'm pretty sure you could see my entire and balls in the photos. I'm not joking. And I need to text the photo photographer to see because, like, really, like, it might have been sinister. It might have been, like, really over for me.
Drew
You're getting exposed.
Inya
I know.
Drew
I actually that's funny because I got this random, like, Dropbox link, but. And I thought it was somebody's, like, neato ball, like, that got thrown in dirt and, like.
Inya
No, that was my scrotum.
Drew
Yeah, that was.
Inya
Yeah, that was my scrotum.
Drew
Ew. Oh, that is so disgusting.
Inya
Yeah, I have balls. I have a wiener.
Drew
No, actually, stop.
Inya
I really do.
Drew
That is so nasty. Like, it really upsets me.
Inya
Like, I have a wiener in balls. Oh, well, a dude got flown full paid trip, a fully paid trip to Antarctica. He was a flat Earther. And flat Earthers have this idea that.
Drew
So it pays to be a dummy.
Inya
No, exactly. That's what I was saying. I was like, I think the Earth is flat. Like, I don't think Hawaii is real. Like, let me have Hawaii or whatever. Like, I don't give a. Like, I don't. It's not real. But there was a dude that got flown out to Antarctica.
Drew
You are a crazy person.
Inya
I don't think Bali is real. Fly me out. But there was. He. He's a flat Earther. Notorious Flat Earther. Like, goes live on YouTube every single day talking about how the Earth is flat. And he got flown out by this dude to like, go prove it it to everyone that it was flat. And they have this idea that since the Earth is flat, the sun has to set in Antarctica. But technically there's like a 24 hour sun in Antarctica. Antarctica at this time of the year, which completely disproves, like, flat Earth theory. So this dude was like, yeah, we're going out there. He flew all the way out there, got there, and was live streaming the whole time. And he was like, well, guys, like, I mean, you watch this guy crumble. Like, his entire life is dedicated to, like, proving that the Earth is flat. Flat. And there was a 24 hour sun. And he timed it and he was like, well, guys, like, I. I'm a man, so I can admit when I'm wrong. But, like, I don't know if the Earth is flat. Like, there's a 24 hour sun. Like, I tracked it all and, like, everybody in the comments was like, boo you, you shill. Like, you're.
Drew
I want to see the video. Because imagine it does look like the moon landing video. Because then. And then he was like, I'm gonna have a few.
Inya
Everyone in the comments was like, it's a green screen. You're not actually there. It's a green screen. And then he had brought out, out, like, green screen props. And he was like, if I was standing in Front of a green screen. This would be keyed out, but I'm not in front of a green screen. And he was like, it's a blue screen. He's like, bitch, I'm wearing a blue jacket. Like, literally. What are you talking about?
Josie
He said it like that.
Inya
I'll find it.
Drew
Stop fucking playing with me.
Inya
24 hours sun flat. I mean, also Millie Bobby Brown, I think I'm a flat earth.
D
Like, can you clarify, is there a 24 hour sun and whether or not you have seen yourself personally yet? There is 100% a 24 hour sun. And I have seen it personally, yes. So at this point, I've been here for over 24 hours. The sun has not set. I personally been here since 4pm yesterday. The sun has not set. Not only has it not set, bro, it's like it stays pretty high up in the sky. Now the question is, is it too high? It's a good question. Let's check the elevation angles. But it seems to bounce right around where it's supposed to, which is 13 or 34, allegedly. But as I can confirm, 100%, no questions asked at where we are, there is a 24 hour sun. 100%. I knew instantly it was a real sun. I could feel. But you know, they, they were trying.
Inya
To be like, it's not a real dude.
Drew
He is like losing it. There's something kind of really sad about this. Crazy.
D
I'm extremely tired. I'm honestly ready for this. 24. I've already seen the sun be in the sky for 24 hours. We've been here for 24 hours. It's gonna stay in the sky, bro. Like, it's just. It's 100%. I almost say when I got here.
Drew
She'S not coming to my house.
Josie
Yeah, I almost feel bad.
Inya
No, it's.
Drew
That's what I'm saying. And it must feel crazy to like, in my head, I, I try to understand the timeline of how you get so wrong and know so much about the wrong thing. And I'm like, it feels like, oh, that's easily power shock of knowing information. Nobody else knows that you get to go tell other people. So then you want to know as much about that information so that when you tell people, you gag them. And it's like, wow, you're actually really smart. I can't. I never heard that. Whatever. And then it just goes so far where I feel like a lot of flat earthers and people who lie in those grounds, they do get to a point where they're like, Oh, I think I, like, I think I'm on the wrong side. Like, I actually don't think this is real anymore, but they're like, I need to double Charlie Kirk.
Inya
I've already gone that too.
Drew
Who?
Inya
Charlie Kirk.
Drew
The ugly guy from the one video.
Inya
Yeah. With a really tiny face.
Drew
Yes.
Inya
And the teeth and the gums. Yeah. He's, like, loudly wrong and knows he's.
Drew
The one with the smile.
Inya
It's just all rage Beta, a certain point. Like, they just make money off of it. But you like this guy. Guy, I think wholeheartedly, like, believed it. And it wasn't, like, rage bait. It wasn't about making money. I mean, he. That. That was his job, was being a flat earther, and he was like, I'm gonna prove everybody wrong. And he flew out there and lost his job, his livelihood, and watched everything he's been researching.
Drew
It starts to feel like a. Like a new era. Like gambling.
Inya
Yeah. Yeah.
Drew
It's like, oh, watch, watch, watch. When it comes out that I'm right, all of y'all will be so mad, and I'm. I'm willing to stand here forever.
Josie
Drew, don't you always say that, that the. There's, like, definitely no guy that looks like the Internet or inside out dad. You're always like, there's definitely no way that. That. That exists.
Inya
Yeah.
Josie
So just saying in case somebody wants.
Drew
To prove you guys that.
Inya
No, no.
Josie
Drew's an inside out dad. Denier.
Inya
Yeah. If. If you're an inside out dad, if you look like him, prove me wrong by coming into my bed and coming over and over and over to my house in my fucking bed.
Drew
Control yourself.
Inya
Okay?
Drew
I think Tiny Desk is so fucking awesome, and they have fully replaced because there was a time where it was really hard to find live albums and, like, live recordings that were cool and interesting for artists, because that had kind of faded out. I feel like after VHS is in dvd, that whole era of things faded out. And we still got documentaries about musicians, but just, like, a good live recorded album. And I love Tiny Desk because it makes artists. It almost sets these grounds of, like, artists want to go in there and do a really good live set. So that can be almost like a fully new rendition of their album. And that is so cool. And I wish I came up with Tiny Desk because it's so awesome.
Inya
Like, the Dochi Tiny Desk.
Drew
The Dochi one is, like, so, so good. It's so fun. Like, I've been listening to that one over the album, and also I decided, I don't know that it's a bad thing to say that you like someone hearing them live rather than their album. Like, do you think that's a mean thing to say?
Josie
Is that.
Drew
I mean, I feel like I've had artist friends who get offended by that because they're like, what the. But I'm like, to me, that's a such a high compliment. But again, I don't make music. But if I. I can love your album, but if I see it live, I'm just gonna be like, wow, this is so good that I want to listen to the album more.
Josie
Yeah, that makes sense.
Drew
But I feel like I've had someone in my life one time be like, that's so offensive. And I was like, my bad.
Inya
My bad. Drew. Say up.
Drew
Ew. That is, like, really gross. That is, like.
Inya
I know. I know. I also have no desire to hurt my gay followers. I am not gay, and even if I decide to try, at best, I would be bisexual. Just keeping it real. Guys love you if they talk behind your back. Art.
Drew
That's a good one.
Inya
My dick has led me to places I wouldn't even go with a gun. And then it's a silent hill picture.
Drew
That one is so good.
Inya
Girls nowadays be like, I got five kids. Brayden, Hayden, Jaden, Kaden, and Zaden. I be like, well, damn. Okay, then.
Drew
Whoa. Okay.
Inya
Imagine having sex in the 19th century. Oh, my God. You spend 15 minutes unbuttoning 650 buttons only to get a coochie that hasn't been washed. Washed since last week's river bath. That was a tweet from freelance trash. I'm done with crystals. I need a gun.
Drew
No, seriously, really?
Inya
Like, those all came from Anna Wintour? Yeah. Oh, wait.
Drew
Oh, cool. This has been out of focus for I don't know how long.
Inya
No, it racks. Focuses. It's broken now it's been shown.
Drew
That was scary.
Inya
You ever walk by a bush and just pull a leaf off of it?
Drew
Yes.
Inya
And then we'll just. We'll just insert this meme because I think it's one of the funniest things I've ever seen, and not enough people are talking about it. And also this one. Quandell Dingle. Dude, do you know where Quandell Dingle came from?
Drew
No, I have no idea what that is. Like, that's not the thing.
Inya
Quandell Dingle. It was someone's, like, username for their Microsoft computer, and someone posted it on Instagram and said, who? The goosey goofy ass name is this Bruh. And his name is Quandelle. Dingle. And then it became Quandelle Dingle from, like, the group leader.
Drew
I always thought it was referencing.
Inya
It's so cooked. Like, how did that happen?
Drew
We're like, duh. Done. We're done. Josie, can you show me that one video of the guy playing guitar on the bus?
Inya
My ass. Dead ass. Thought that was what Animal Testing was. Is that not so real?
Drew
You know what's fucked up is, like, until I saw this photo, I still thought that's what it was. Like, I still was like, yeah, that's what they do.
Inya
Okay, this one, this one. Send that to me with the honking of the horn. Send that to me, like. And send that to Guy.
Drew
Are you kidding me? Like, I love cameras.
Inya
I'm so happy we got here.
Drew
Like, imagine, like, the. The thing I'm wearing before. Like, the person who owned this originally. They were bored as.
Inya
And yet they never saw as.
Drew
They've never seen a screen. And I'm so, so happy.
Inya
I get made in China.
Drew
Like, actually, this episode has brought me my Christmas joy. And I want a new iPad.
Inya
Really? You have a good ass iPad that I got you.
Drew
Okay, fine. Yeah, no, but I. I just want to unbox one.
Inya
I know what you mean. I want to unbox.
Drew
I literally. I'm kidding. If you wanted to get me a box and let me un, like, box it and reset it, I'd be like. Like, there's something fun about, like, something.
Inya
So special about opening an Apple product on Christmas that, like, not enough people are talking about.
Drew
I don't. I don't feel like it has the same sentiment before.
Inya
Oh, it used 2014, 2015, 2016. Like, that era. Opening a MacBook.
Drew
Like, opening an ipod touch. And it was the color you wanted.
Inya
That's what this sounds like, this set.
Josie
Oh, the Gilmore Girls.
Inya
Yeah, I can't do that. Gilmore Girls.
Drew
Oh, I've.
Inya
Girl.
Josie
I think it's like when they transition scenes.
Inya
Yeah.
Drew
Okay.
Josie
Yeah.
Inya
This is very feist coded. It's very feist. Like, one, two.
Drew
I'm gonna be sad that we're taking this down. It's so fun. Was.
Inya
That 1, 2, 3, 4. Each day I love you more like.
Drew
Another song from that album from them.
Inya
Well, Happy holidays. The liberals made it problematic to say Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Shout out, y'all.
Drew
Thanks for tuning in, you guys, so much for. I keep feeling like it's the end of the year episode, and I think it's because we put so much, like, little, like, cute work into the set. It felt like a bigger deal because for me New Year's is a bigger of a gag. Like, that's a crazy gag. Like, time is changing. Like, literally. Times are the.
Inya
Actually, year is rolling.
Drew
It's changing in a big way. And Christmas is just, like, okay.
Inya
Something major and special coming for New Year's, though.
Drew
I know. So I think I'm just so excited for the New Year's one. And I'll be sappy in that. I'll hold my tongue for now.
Inya
You're gonna be sapphic in that.
Drew
Sappy.
Inya
Oh, yeah, we'll. We'll cry in that one. Wait, they've never seen me cry. Have they? Seen me cry? Oh, I cried at, like, talking about Madeline, how much I love her and how she was, like, pregnant and it.
Drew
Oh, my God. Luna, baby. I love Luna. Luna today.
Inya
I know. She FaceTimes us, like, almost every single day. She's obsessed with me.
Drew
She's starting to like me. She can say my name now, and.
Inya
Yet, like, had her hood on or some. And Luna was, like, terrified of her. And then Inya let her hair down, and Luna was like.
Drew
So I guess without my hair, I look like a scary man who's about to steal Drew's phone.
Inya
And she knows, like, mama, dad, dad, go together. Pop and Gigi go together, and Inya and Drew go together. She's, like, doing in. Yeah, dude.
Drew
For the first time. I think after seeing those photos. It was after we did that shoot, I was sitting with Drew, and I realized I always found it so funny when people asked us, like, if we were. Oh, it was after that guy asked us if we're gonna have kids. Like, somebody asked us we were gonna have kids, and I was like, what? Like, I was so confused by that question. And I forget that people really do perceive us as just, like, an attractive couple together. Like, when we're together and we're out in the world, people just think we're a couple. So, of course, Luna, like, in Luna's head, I literally am her mama and dada.
Inya
Too bad I'm Gunko.
Drew
You know, we should, like. Okay, think about this. We should never, like, let Luna stop believing that we're together. And then one day, I'll just show up with my partner and you show up with yours, and we're both, like, with somebody.
Inya
My girlfriend, not partner. I don't play that.
Drew
Okay, sorry. Your girlfriend? Yeah, Gail fans my girlfriend, Gail. And then we kiss our, like, actual partners and scare Luna and make her think that we're cheaters. Yeah, that's just the kind of things I think about when I think about raising a kid, it's like, how can.
Inya
I really know when I raise a kid? I'm going to sell it for $12,000 and a bag of heroin. No. I'm going to put it in a spherical dome and put it in, like, a cage with either a bunch of apes, orangutans, or tigers. And the animals are gonna, like, bring it in or alone and make it raise itself. Like, it can feed. Like, we'll feed it and. But it, like, the food will just appear and see, like, what language it develops.
Drew
Well, technically, wouldn't it be better to even just, like, not give it food and just, like, plant food for it to learn how to grab?
Inya
Yeah, but, like, it's like an infant. It's not like a giraffe that, like, comes out, like, fully born. You have to, like, feed it boob milk and.
Drew
Dude, I just don't think I'm gonna have kids. Like, that's just not. It's not in my car.
Inya
I'm having kids as, and you're gonna be my surrogate. Are you carrying my kid artificially, though?
Drew
She's not coming in my house.
Inya
She's not coming in my temple.
Drew
She's not coming to my house. Oh.
Josie
What?
Drew
Oh, I thought you were gonna say.
Josie
Oh, I was gonna say.
Inya
That was probably so charming.
Josie
Yeah, I was like, what the fuck? I was gonna say. You know, giraffes come out, and they can walk and they can navigate the world, but humans take, like, years, but we end up being super smart. We build rocket ships. Rocket ships and stuff. So if you're having trouble in life and you're like, oh, I don't know, you know, things aren't really working out yet. Well, the most intelligent species on this planet can't even walk until they're, like, six. So some of us just take a little bit longer. But we achieve greatness at the end of the day.
Drew
Oh, that's like. That's like you, because you're, like, 50.
Josie
I'm not 50.
Drew
Yeah, I see that.
Inya
That was beautiful.
Drew
So that actually was.
Josie
It's beautiful, right?
Drew
Have you heard? Did someone say that to you?
Josie
No, that was just an inspiring thing that I came up with.
Inya
That's beautiful. Do you want to hear something or.
Drew
Are you doing a drew?
Josie
No, I'm swear to God.
Inya
You mean. What does that mean? Y'all have a little inside, too.
Drew
Good. Like. Like, ew. Okay.
Inya
D1 level, dude. He's ripped as. That might have been too much myself.
Drew
Okay, well, thank you guys so much for watching. I hope everyone has happy holidays. Whatever you celebrate, I hope you get to be with your family or your chosen family because.
Inya
Or no family. Because you're a loser, honestly.
Drew
Yeah, that's why Drew's not. Drew's staying here for Christmas.
Inya
Nobody invited him out. Brady and slip.
Drew
Okay, thank you guys so much for watching.
Inya
No, thank you. Enjoy your holidays. Peace and love.
Release Date: December 20, 2024
Hosts: Enya Umanzor & Drew Phillips
Description: Emergency Intercom is a comedy podcast by Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips. There is no emergency, but there is an intense need for attention, so maybe listen up… You don’t want to know what happens if you don’t. (we will be violent)
In the episode titled "She's Not Coming to My House," hosts Enya Umanzor (Inya) and Drew Phillips dive into a mix of personal anecdotes, pop culture commentary, and humorous banter surrounding the holiday season. Skipping over the initial advertisements, the trio engages listeners with their unique blend of humor and candid conversations.
The episode opens with Drew expressing his reluctance to engage in Christmas festivities this year. At [01:47], he shares:
Drew: "I'm not, it's not that I'm sick, I just, I don't want to do Christmas this year."
Inya quickly teases him about being a "Scrooge," setting a playful tone for their discussion about holiday anxieties and preparations. They laugh over Drew's exaggerated concerns about potential household explosions from holiday decorations and joke about misconceptions like gas leaks at ski resorts.
A significant portion of the conversation revolves around their pets, particularly focusing on bathroom habits. At [02:19], Inya brings up:
Inya: "She's not coming to my house."
This leads to a humorous exchange where Drew describes his fear of someone entering the bathroom during his period:
Drew: "One thing about me is I will blow the bathroom up and literally get terrified of anybody who walks by."
Inya counters with her own pet-related antics, highlighting the quirky behaviors of their dogs and adding to the comedic atmosphere.
The hosts shift gears to discuss various pop culture topics, including aliens and conspiracy theories. Inya expresses frustration over the delayed revelation of alien existence:
Inya: "The aliens flop era is lowkey serving."
Drew humorously disputes the likelihood of alien invasion, while both share their skepticism about popular conspiracy theories like the flat Earth movement. At [51:12], Inya recounts:
Inya: "He's a flat Earther... He flew out there... and was like, 'I can admit when I'm wrong.'"
Their lighthearted critique underscores their comedic take on serious subjects.
Inya and Drew delve into their disdain for certain social media platforms, particularly TikTok and Instagram. They discuss issues like surveillance, inappropriate content, and the inundation of irrelevant advertisements. Drew remarks at [05:15]:
Drew: "I just don't believe it [TikTok] will get banned."
Inya adds her perspective on the negative impacts of constant social media interactions, emphasizing the need to "re-centralize" themselves periodically to maintain emotional stability.
Throughout the episode, the hosts share personal stories that highlight their chemistry and comedic timing. Inya recalls a photo shoot mishap where she fears accidental overexposure:
Inya: "I was sitting on the ground, and 98 of the photos... were just vanished into thin air. So I'm pretty sure you could see my entire... and balls in the photos."
Drew responds with his own nostalgic tales about his attempts at hair straightening, leading to a mutual exchange of humorous regrets and fond memories.
As the episode progresses, Inya and Drew discuss their plans for upcoming holidays and the future of their podcast. They humorously debate the nature of heaven and hell, reflecting on how eternal happiness might feel more like a prison. At [43:40], Inya muses:
Inya: "Hell seems like... heaven kind of seems like a prison to me because... you're just happy all the time."
Drew shares his excitement for setting up a new podcast set for New Year's, teasing listeners with hints of what’s to come in future episodes.
The episode wraps up with the hosts reflecting on their shared experiences and the importance of their podcast community. They encourage listeners to cherish their chosen families and enjoy the holiday season, even amidst personal and societal challenges.
At [68:39], Drew concludes:
Drew: "Thank you guys so much for watching. I hope everyone has happy holidays..."
Inya adds her final thoughts with a touch of humor and warmth:
Inya: "Enjoy your holidays. Peace and love."
"She's Not Coming to My House" encapsulates the essence of Emergency Intercom by blending relatable holiday stress with playful banter about pets, pop culture, and personal anecdotes. Enya and Drew's dynamic interplay offers listeners a humorous respite from the chaos of the holiday season, all while fostering a sense of community and shared experiences.