Emergency Intercom: "Stink Portal" Episode Summary
Release Date: April 11, 2025
Hosts: Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips
Podcast Description: Emergency Intercom is a comedy podcast by Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips. There is no emergency, but there is an intense need for attention, so maybe listen up… You don’t want to know what happens if you don’t. (we will be violent)
1. Introduction to the Episode
Timestamp: [00:46]
Drew Phillips kicks off the episode with his signature enthusiasm, re-engaging listeners after a brief advertisement break.
2. Coachella Conundrum
Timestamp: [00:51 - 02:16]
Kai expresses her disdain for Coachella, stating, “But we're not going,” highlighting her anxiety about large crowds. Drew humorously jabs, “If you go to Coachella, like, you're ran through. You're a piece of shit. You're, like, ugly and,” eliciting laughter from both Kai and Inya.
Kai continues, “I’m genuinely jealous of people who can be in big crowds and not be terrified and petrified for their life like that sounds,” revealing her apprehensions about attending such events. The conversation underscores their collective decision to skip the festival, with Kai admitting her fear of violent incidents.
3. The Oil Paint Fiasco
Timestamp: [02:16 - 05:48]
The trio delves into an amusing yet frustrating incident involving Inya spilling red oil paint on their new hardwood floors. Drew shares, “She used red oil paint in a painting and spilled it on our hardwood floor,” describing the month-long battle to clean the mess.
Inya mentions her effort to stay sober during the event to prevent further spills: “I'm gonna try to do it sober this year because last year I drank and I'm. I'm scared it's gonna be really scary for Daddy.” The story takes a humorous turn when Josh mistakes the spilled paint for a period, causing Kai to laugh, “He jumped back and he was watching me and Drew interact.”
4. Period Awareness and Support
Timestamp: [05:48 - 06:58]
A heartfelt discussion emerges around period awareness. Drew boasts, “I'm in with your bronze always,” indicating his support system for Kai. Kai reflects on her anxiety and Drew’s proactive approach: “I'm always freaking out, but, oh, I am freaking the fuck out.”
Inya adds, “There's not enough male speculation about female periods,” emphasizing the importance of male allies in supporting women’s health. The conversation balances humor with genuine support, highlighting the trio’s camaraderie.
5. Sink Repair Saga
Timestamp: [08:07 - 12:35]
Drew recounts an odd experience with a plumber who not only fixed their clogged sink but seemingly took a personal interest in it: “He had to take my entire sink out of the ground. Like, take the whole thing, the whole unit out of the ground to unclog it.”
The story spirals into absurdity as Drew humorously suggests the plumber "fell in love" with the sink: “I think he had sex with the pipes of my sink.” Kai and Inya react with disbelief and amusement, calling the situation “insane.”
6. Personal Hygiene and Self-Care
Timestamp: [16:03 - 34:47]
The hosts transition into a discussion about personal hygiene routines and self-care habits.
Drew shares his reluctance to follow doctors’ advice: “They’re probably just gonna try to get me to stop vaping, and I’m not doing that.” Kai and Inya chime in with their own routines, emphasizing the challenges of maintaining self-care amidst busy lives.
Kai opens up about neglecting self-care: “I just have all these expired creams,” illustrating her struggles with maintaining a consistent routine. Drew sympathetically relates, sharing his past experiences of neglecting self-care and the impact it had on their household.
7. Health Concerns: Vitamin D and Cholesterol
Timestamp: [34:07 - 40:05]
Drew discusses his recent health check-up, revealing he was diagnosed with low vitamin D and slightly elevated cholesterol: “I got diagnosed with low vitamin D... it made me feel so happy for a few hours and then I crash.”
Kai provides a humorous take on the situation, teasing Drew about his vitamin intake: “Come on, D me up.” The conversation underscores the hosts’ lighthearted approach to serious health issues, blending humor with personal anecdotes.
8. Technology and Bird Identification
Timestamp: [40:15 - 43:54]
The hosts explore their interests in technology and nature apps. Drew introduces the Merlin Bird ID app: “It's literally so lit. Every time we go to Big Sur, I, like, can identify all of the owls and the birds flying around.”
Kai jokes about integrating technology into daily life: “I access all my memory. So you should. You should quit while you're ahead.” Their banter reflects a blend of genuine interest and comedic exaggeration, highlighting their diverse interests.
9. Fashion and Nail Art
Timestamp: [26:12 - 28:38]
Kai shares her unexpected venture into nail art: “I need to talk about these nails. I haven't had nails for so long... I got French tiptoes and aquamarine ass, dude.” Drew playfully complains about the new nail shapes causing discomfort during their interactions: “...it hurts so bad.”
The segment showcases their playful dynamic and willingness to mock each other’s fashion choices, adding a layer of relatability for listeners who experiment with personal style.
10. Movie and Show Discussions
Timestamp: [52:34 - 58:07]
The conversation shifts to their thoughts on the “Minecraft” movie and other entertainment topics. Drew praises the film unexpectedly: “The movie was lit. It was really funny, actually.” Kai contrasts this by expressing her fear of large events like concerts, revealing her continued anxiety about social gatherings.
They also touch upon reality shows, with Kai expressing skepticism about participating: “None of us would survive Love Island. Not a single one of us.”
11. Closing Remarks and Final Anecdotes
Timestamp: [58:07 - End]
As the episode wraps up, the hosts share final thoughts and personal stories, maintaining their humorous and candid rapport. Drew vents about online bullying: “Honestly, kill yourself,” followed by playful banter where Kai joins in, demonstrating their comfortable and unfiltered friendship.
Inya closes with a humorous note about their plans to watch movies, emphasizing the trio’s enduring bond and commitment to lighthearted conversation.
Notable Quotes
- Drew Phillips [01:02]: “Oh, Daddy's.”
- Kai [03:03]: “Look at me. Look at me. I don't give a fuck.”
- Inya [05:07]: “Yeah, there's not enough male speculation about female periods.”
- Drew Phillips [07:30]: “I have a gay father. We know this.”
- Kai [16:03]: “I have body soap right now because I took it from Drew.”
- Drew Phillips [34:25]: “What this is, though, that's my uterus.”
- Kai [52:34]: “I need to talk about these nails.”
Conclusion
In this episode of Emergency Intercom, Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips, along with their co-host Kai, navigate a whirlwind of topics ranging from personal mishaps and health concerns to social anxieties and humorous takes on fashion and technology. Their candid and comedic interactions offer listeners a blend of laughter, relatability, and genuine camaraderie, making it a standout episode for both regular fans and newcomers alike.