the galaxy gas episode

Summary

Emergency Intercom: The Galaxy Gas Episode Released on September 6, 2024 by iHeartPodcasts

Hosts: Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips
Guests: Kai and Orion

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1. Introduction to the Episode

The episode kicks off with a light-hearted yet heated debate between hosts Enya and Drew over the concept of a "bed episode." Enya expresses her frustration about being misled into dressing in worn-out pajamas for a special, cozy episode idea, leading to a humorous exchange about their attire and the logistics of the recording setup.

Notable Quote:

• Enya (01:19): "This is a special spectacular bed episode, and I want to address how I was wronged today by Enya."

2. Conflict Over the "Bed Episode"

Enya confronts Drew about the logistics and preparation for the bed-themed episode, highlighting her disappointment with the outcome versus the initial promise. Drew responds by defending his actions and teasing about their attire, setting the tone for their dynamic banter.

Notable Quote:

• Drew (01:50): "I drove over here in my fucking PJs that are rotten dilapidated."

3. Nostalgia for "Spilling the Tea"

The hosts reminisce about past slang and social media trends, particularly the "spilling the tea" phrase and the iconic Kermit the Frog sipping tea emoji. They express a desire to bring back these expressions, reflecting on how language and trends evolve over time.

Notable Quotes:

• Enya (02:43): "That was millennial gay of me to say, let's spill tea."
• Drew (03:04): "We need to bring that back. Low key. Noted."

4. The Galaxy Gas Craze – Risks and Experiences

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to discussing the "galaxy gas" trend, which they equate to the use of laughing gas or "whippets." Enya shares her alarming experience with galaxy gas at a young age, emphasizing its dangers and addictive nature. Drew echoes similar sentiments, recounting his initial ignorance and subsequent realization of the substance's harmful effects on brain cells.

Notable Quotes:

• Enya (10:50): "This whole galaxy gas craze, guys, let's talk about it."
• Drew (11:04): "We need to talk about galaxy gas because it's literally, like, don't know shit about it."

5. Personal Stories and Anecdotes

The hosts delve into personal anecdotes, sharing unsettling experiences that paint a picture of their lives and relationships. Drew recounts an uncomfortable encounter in a corner store where a man inappropriately asked if he was a virgin, leading to misplaced anger and dark humor about the individuals involved. Additionally, they touch upon supernatural elements, suggesting their living space feels haunted, injecting humor and intrigue into their narrative.

Notable Quotes:

• Drew (21:14): "The guy's still alive. I haven't killed him yet."
• Enya (15:47): "We saw videos of our house when we first moved in, and it is scary how yellow the walls have gotten."

6. Reflections on Social Media and Technology

Enya discusses her relationship with her phone, highlighting the addictive nature of technology and its impact on her life. She narrates a recent breakdown caused by app glitches, which led her to unintentionally relapse into excessive phone usage. Drew complements this by sharing his struggles with limiting screen time and the constant presence of digital distractions.

Notable Quotes:

• Enya (27:02): "The app glitched. I lost my 30-day streak on all my apps."
• Drew (27:14): "I finally decide to stay on the channel and I'm recording because I'm like, I need to catch when this ends."

7. Emotions and Personal Insights

Throughout the episode, Enya and Drew explore deeper emotional territories, touching upon topics like mental health, anxiety, and personal growth. They candidly discuss their vulnerabilities, such as Enya's fear of being diagnosed with conditions like autism and her humorous take on receiving incorrect medical advice via emails.

Notable Quotes:

• Enya (40:23): "I'm reporting you to HR, which is me, and you're done."
• Drew (28:53): "Like heroin oh, well, no, I will say now that when I watch something about murder, I'm actually shocked."

8. Humorous Banter and Light-Hearted Moments

Despite tackling serious subjects, the hosts maintain a playful and humorous tone, engaging in witty exchanges and teasing each other. They joke about physical appearances, upcoming plans, and even potential firing by fictional HR, adding levity to the episode.

Notable Quotes:

• Drew (52:11): "You're not a girl. And then I did it and I got an 8.4 and I was like, oh, whoa."
• Enya (39:34): "Demon emoji literally noted as."

9. Conclusion

As the episode winds down, the hosts reflect on their discussions, sharing final thoughts on media consumption and personal interests. They express excitement about upcoming projects, such as animated versions of their podcast moments, and continue their signature banter, wrapping up the episode on a humorous note.

Notable Quote:

• Enya (53:56): "Guys, guys, guys. The last thing that I was like, I already talked about this, though, was how me buying the Tick Tock shop hot bowl was, like, really one of the worst points in my life."

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Key Takeaways:

• Galaxy Gas Awareness: The episode highlights the dangers and addictive nature of galaxy gas (whippets), backed by personal stories illustrating its impact on mental and physical health.

• Technology's Double-Edged Sword: Enya and Drew discuss the challenges of balancing technology use, acknowledging both its benefits and the difficulties it can pose to personal well-being.

• Humor Amidst Depth: The hosts successfully blend humor with serious topics, creating an engaging and relatable narrative for listeners.

• Dynamic Host Interaction: The chemistry between Enya, Drew, and Kai (guest) adds depth to the conversation, making the episode both entertaining and insightful.

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Notable Moments Recap:

• Conflict Over Episode Theme: Enya expressing frustration with the "bed episode" setup. (01:19 - 02:27)

• Reflecting on Past Slang: Nostalgia for "spill the tea" expressions. (02:43 - 03:38)

• Discussion on Galaxy Gas: Detailed recounting of experiences and warnings. (10:50 - 14:07)

• Corner Store Encounter: Drew's unsettling story involving a close-aged man and a cashier's reaction. (18:21 - 21:14)

• Haunted Apartment Feelings: Anecdotes about the eerie environment of their living space. (15:07 - 16:44)

• Face Scan App Ratings: Enya and Kai explore the accuracy and implications of facial recognition apps. (50:04 - 52:33)

• Humorous Interactions: Ongoing playful teasing and fictional HR firing discussions. (45:21 - 56:57)

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Conclusion

"The Galaxy Gas Episode" of Emergency Intercom offers a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and critical discussions on contemporary issues like substance abuse and technology addiction. Enya and Drew, along with guest Kai, navigate these topics with a unique comedic flair, making the episode both entertaining and thought-provoking for listeners.

Transcript

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Drew]

I've never felt like this before. It's like you just get me. I feel like my true self with you. Does that sound crazy? And it doesn't hurt that you're gorgeous. Okay, that's it. I'm taking you home with me. I mean, you can't find shoes this good just anywhere. Find a shoe for every you from brands you love, like Birkenstock, Nike, Adidas, and more at your DSW store or dsw dot com.

[Enya]

Okay?

[Drew]

Hey, guys. Welcome to this episode of Emergency Intercom.

[Enya]

Guys, this is a special spectacular bed episode, and I want to address how I was wronged today by Enya. I was. I was misled and lied to. And two days ago she said, oh, like, it would be so cute and cozy. Like, we can. We can do like a bed episode where we're in our PJs. I drove over here in my fucking PJs that are rotten dilapidated.

[Drew]

Okay, to be fair, I never told motherfucker this grown ass man to walk through the lobby of Chateau Marmont in those fucking wonky ass clothes.

[Enya]

There's holes, guys. Okay? I did dye the armpits black before as a bit. So this is not real. This is a part of the bit. No. Is it bad in certain lighting? In certain lighting it in super.

[Drew]

Definitely lighting. It's gonna look crazy.

[Enya]

Yeah, when it gets dark out, it's gonna. It's. It's cooked, it's fried. It's over for me. I'm gonna rope Max.

[Drew]

What is that?

[Enya]

Hang myself.

[Drew]

Oh. Oh, my God. Speaking of that, I spoke to a psychiatrist today.

[Enya]

Like, oh, how did that go? Actually? I mean, we don't have to spill tea on here, but why did I say that.

[Drew]

We don't have to spill tea?

[Enya]

That was like Saturday Sunday. No, that was like. That was millennial gay of me to say, let's spill tea. It's like the Kermit Frog sipping tea emoji. Or like. Noted. Noted.

[Drew]

We need to bring that back. Low key. Noted.

[Enya]

Was that was fire that died. That died way too quickly.

[Drew]

Oh, my God. That was good. And then. I can't believe we all used to, like, use the frog emoji. For real. For real. Like, the face.

[Enya]

The Kermit frog.

[Drew]

The Kermit with the tea with the.

[Enya]

Because he was sipping. We'll insert, like, the emojis on top of this.

[Drew]

No, People have to know what we're talking about, because if they don't, then we need to stop this.

[Enya]

We're on.

[Drew]

We're, like, old as. Because in my head, that's not that long ago, but I guess that was like, 2016. No, that wasn't that long ago.

[Enya]

That was a decade ago.

[Drew]

Years ago. Oh, my God, bro, you know what's up is I used to. When we first started our tradition, sitting around. No, like, come on. That was like. That's not even a tradition. It's like.

[Enya]

Oh. Of adding Kai as a third.

[Drew]

As. Adding Kai is the watcher.

[Enya]

As the polyamorous.

[Kai]

Oh, yeah. Guys, we have a Kai cam for this episode. I'll insert it right here.

[Enya]

Yeah, take it off now.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Enya]

No.

[Drew]

Oh, he wanted.

[Kai]

I didn't even put it on.

[Drew]

He wanted. He. He had a bit plan. He wanted to sip his.

[Enya]

Oh, yeah, sip your.

[Kai]

Continue the podcast.

[Drew]

Ew. You really should have threw some apple juice in there. So he said, what?

[Enya]

You really threw me on. You threw me for a loop.

[Drew]

We should have put some apple juice in there so it looked like you were having champagne and not room temperature sparkling water.

[Kai]

Yeah, Drew gave me this warm ass water. I was begging him for some hydration. He gave me this.

[Drew]

Okay.

[Enya]

Actually, welcome.

[Drew]

Like, what?

[Enya]

Yeah, I went.

[Drew]

And also, Kai did the classic thing of, like, a. Who's too lazy? It's like, oh, is there any water in here? Like, you want one of us to get you water? Like, wow.

[Kai]

Like, no, I was saying that, and I was like, oh, is there any water? And then I. In my head, I was like, if you told me where the water was, I would have, like, bolted over and gotten it for myself.

[Drew]

Yeah, you would have.

[Kai]

And I would have poured you a.

[Drew]

Glass, and you would have tripped on the wire.

[Enya]

Oh, and you got the world's smallest room. It's literally close quarters.

[Drew]

And honestly, it was all I needed. Me and Orion just sat in bed all day, and that's what I needed. Like, I didn't need a big room.

[Enya]

I was like, I wait, y' all were in. Girls were in bed together.

[Drew]

We didn't have clothes on and stuff.

[Enya]

What the hell?

[Drew]

Also, Ryan's in The corner on her phone, silently.

[Enya]

I'm gonna take a picture of where Orion is.

[Drew]

You should just get in the cubby hole. That's where you should hang out. So you.

[Enya]

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

[Drew]

Orion has the opposite of a cuck chair. She's, like, hiding, white covered.

[Enya]

Hello? Elron Hubbard. Shout out Scientology. I'm a big advocate for Scientology. No, no, no, no. What?

[Kai]

You're an advocate. I don't think they need advocates.

[Drew]

All right. Is that a cult? That's a cult, right?

[Enya]

No, it's my religion. And for you to call my religion a cult, I'm actually, like, offended as you're my religion. Bad religion. Like, the.

[Drew]

Dude, you kicking your feet, right?

[Enya]

Okay, whoa. Indiana.

[Drew]

Back up.

[Enya]

India and I defeated the nuclear family. We are in the process of defeating the nuclear family.

[Drew]

Yeah, we're rewriting the script, guys. We're going to get married and abuse the tax system like other people do.

[Enya]

Fraud. We're going to commit fraud. Tax fraud.

[Drew]

Would that be considered fraud? Like, who the fuck says my marriage has to be romantic?

[Enya]

It does. It has to. You can't, like, people try to fake gay straight vibes for the tax purposes. Or they used to. Now they can, like, legally get married. But I think if we claimed Kai and Josiah as our dependents, then it'd be fine. Then it would be really good.

[Drew]

Then it's like, we'd have kids. Wait, I'm still stuck on that. I can't believe that's actually illegal.

[Enya]

Yeah, it's like, I think it's tax fraud. Like, if we're not actually in love, or at least I'm getting my information.

[Drew]

Half those married are not in love.

[Enya]

I'm getting my information from that one movie with the Kings of Queens guy. What's his name?

[Drew]

So none of the information you're telling me, start your engine as viable because you're literally talking about a movie.

[Enya]

Yeah, no, that's what I'm saying. Like, it's. It's probably, like, not real. Like a gay or two straight people getting in love.

[Drew]

And getting married is not straight people getting in love.

[Enya]

Like, having love together.

[Drew]

But, yeah, me and Drew are gonna get married and defeat nuclear families. You're welcome. Honestly.

[Enya]

And, like, we're buying a house together. Low key.

[Drew]

Take a screenshot right now, because this is the moment everything changes. Like, take a picture of this moment for the fucking history books. Can you believe there are going to be things in textbook books that are literally just screenshots of videos? Like, I guess that's actually what all textbook images Are. But I was thinking more so, like, at one point, I'm sure they have to, like, are we gonna take down in history and, like, write it down and teach it to people? How we've evolutionized technologically and how it's been a part of our society the way we saw about, like, movies, like, in 19.

[Enya]

I'm still not over the fact that when the very first movie had a train in it and everybody ran and jumped of the way, and now I see, like, Gooch sweat dripping in back shots on my iPhone, and I love it.

[Drew]

Oh, I love it.

[Enya]

Gooch Grease.

[Drew]

Stop. Isn't that Azalea Banks thing?

[Enya]

Oh, Is that actually her brand?

[Drew]

Or is it, like.

[Enya]

It's like, thank you, Orion. Thank you. All right.

[Drew]

Oh, you mentioning that reminded me the other day when I was in the bathroom, I went to go brush my teeth to get ready for bed. I was watching TikToks, and we have those, like, old guys yawning.

[Enya]

He's.

[Drew]

Yeah, he doesn't want to be there.

[Kai]

I didn't get much sleep last night.

[Enya]

I'm not asking you what you did.

[Drew]

Yes. Yeah, dude.

[Kai]

Okay. I love watching you guys. You know this. I love watching you guys do your art. The yawn had nothing to do with this, all right? It had to do with my crazy night that I had, so.

[Enya]

Oh, my God, guy, you're scaring me.

[Kai]

What? I'm having fun.

[Drew]

Just you in the corner. Also, you've been wearing shorts recently, which, like, something about it. I just have never seen you in shorts. And every time I do, I'm like.

[Enya]

Oh, I love Kai's thighs.

[Drew]

No, you have good legs, but it's just like, oh, you're really. Oh, you're wearing that outside. You're a whore.

[Enya]

3Amazing, amazing, amazing attributes.

[Kai]

Okay, I'm listening.

[Enya]

He has great legs.

[Kai]

Thank you.

[Enya]

He has a great nose, and he has really good eyebrows and washboard abs. Fun.

[Kai]

Drew came in and complimented me so much, he buttered me up before the episode.

[Enya]

Because I have bad news, and I'm gonna get to it later. I just wanted to raise you up so I can tear you down further.

[Kai]

Something to do with, like, me getting fired, right? Or, like. No, no. Okay.

[Drew]

As of right now, no.

[Kai]

Okay.

[Enya]

But, like, potentially in the next, like, 24 hours, like, you could be maybe.

[Drew]

In, like, how long have we been going? Probably in the next, like, five, 55 minutes.

[Kai]

Okay. But that could change. I could win you guys back in this episode, probably.

[Drew]

You're not winning now.

[Kai]

I could say something really funny.

[Enya]

Yeah. Try to Say something funny. Okay, but before, I didn't mean that for that to be mean. I did not. I did not mean that like that.

[Drew]

Okay, yeah, yeah, try that anyway, so. Oh, you're gonna try me funny. You go ahead and you do that.

[Enya]

But that was so real. But I did not mean it for like that. For like that. Okay, so this whole galaxy gas craze, guys, let's talk about it.

[Drew]

Like, what is your.

[Enya]

Y' all literally, like, don't know shit about shit. Because I was in hotel rooms when I was 16 years old doing so much melting my fucking brain. And now y' all have flavored no. 2 laughing gas. Like, come on now. You are a bunch of vags. Y' all are a bunch of, dare I say, pussies.

[Drew]

Oh, bragging about doing whippets before everybody else is.

[Enya]

Actually, no, it's. It's. It's cooked for me.

[Drew]

I remember, like, I didn't know what whippets were because in my neighborhood, that was like, not a thing. And I've never seen anybody very white thing. Yeah, it's a super white people thing, which is. The galaxy gas craze freaks me out. But whatever. I did not know what the fuck a whip it was. And we were in a hotel room with all our friends, all of our, like, white ass friends. And they were like, yes, yes, yes. Like, you just. Just like suck up this air and like your voice will get all deep and it'll feel like you're high. And I still mind you at this point. I hadn't smoked weed. I barely had alcohol like that. So I was like, oh, seems innocent enough. It's a whipped cream canister. Like, it can't be anything. I was obsessed with that. And I was at the table, like, you would have thought it was an open bar at like an event. Because I was like, another one, another one.

[Enya]

Thank you.

[Drew]

Another one, another one, another one. Thank you.

[Enya]

No. And then the most, like, nasty night of our life. Like, I need to. I need to make that very clear. Like, this was dark sided. Like, this was not fun. It was okay.

[Drew]

I was gonna bring it back to that because basically I didn't know what it was. But you pulled me aside into the other room and you were like, you need to stop. Like, stop doing that. And I was like, yeah.

[Enya]

I was like, you're melting holes in your brain already.

[Drew]

I was like. And then he was like, no, it's literally, that is like proven to kill your brain cells, like, rapidly. Like, imagine your brain in your head right now. All those whip It. You just did. It's like, like, of all your brain cells exploding. And I was like, oh, my God. And I just went back in the room, and I remember they were like, do you want another one? I was like, I'm full.

[Kai]

I swear, that has to be one of the most addictive drugs because it lasts only five minutes. So.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Enya]

So you have to last, like, 30 seconds.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Enya]

Like, that's the craziest part is, like, really, it. Like, it is only like, a 30 second to a minute long. Like, zooted to the max. Like, it is literally the highest.

[Drew]

All it feels like doing is, like, sucking the oxygen out of your. That's all it is literally, like, just like, if there was a balloon with air in it and you just went like this to it and then it exploded.

[Enya]

If I catch any of y' all doing Galaxy guys, I will be very. You're getting blocked and banned, and I do not promote that. It's not.

[Drew]

It is so disgusting. Also, what's crazy is the second Drew was like, this is the worst thing you could do for yourself. And mind you, I do plenty of things. I'm like, this. I have a puff bar on my leg right now. But that. That was the one line. I was like, I am not crossing this line. Y' all are crazy. And yeah, also, the train thing that I was gonna.

[Enya]

Don't touch me. That literally didn't hurt. So, like, it doesn't even hurt me at all.

[Kai]

I know that hurts.

[Enya]

It doesn't hurt at all. Wait, why is my skin so stretchy? Actually, wait. Surprisingly, it did not hurt that bad. Because I'm, like, a strong man or something. Like, oh, girl, I'm a big strong man.

[Drew]

When I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth, I had my phone propped up on the toothbrush holder thing in our bathroom. It was a tick tock of a picture of Tokyo Tony, half her makeup done and half her makeup not done. And Drew came in and was looking down and looked up and literally goes, oh. And then he was actually like, bewildered. Like, it looked like I flashbanged him because he was just like, oh, okay. And, like, turned around. I was like, why? He was like, I don't know. I just thought that was real. I thought that person was here. I was like, wait, what? And he thought. He was like. His first instinct is he thought I was on FaceTime with Tokyo.

[Enya]

Like, I thought she was on FaceTime with Tokyo Tony 1 and 2. Like, I physically thought she was in the room with us. Like, that size. Like, I don't know. What connections my brain made.

[Drew]

But.

[Enya]

But that bathroom has been, like, haunted, dark sided, sinister energy recently.

[Drew]

Because that whole apartment, there's demons. I feel like one of you, one of our friends, if you see this, I. One of y' all brought a demon into my house. I need you to come by and pick.

[Enya]

I know exactly which one it was. I'm not naming names, but it wasn't you, Kai. It wasn't you.

[Kai]

Okay?

[Enya]

And it wasn't you or Ryan. But there is someone who I know for a fact.

[Drew]

Oh, I know who left demon.

[Enya]

You know who I'm talking.

[Drew]

I know who left the demon.

[Enya]

And, like, it's also crazy. Like, we saw, like, videos of our house when we, like, first moved in. And we looked around and it is scary how yellow the walls have gotten. Like, how many cracks.

[Drew]

One of our friends was like, yeah, because all y' all became addicted to puff bar at the same time. So it started, like, caking on the walls like cigarette smoke.

[Enya]

Cigarettes, bro. Diana, you're by. You're by.

[Drew]

You're gay.

[Kai]

Oh.

[Enya]

You'Re by. That is literally. I thought about going for her as Halloween, but that's too esoteric. Like, you're by.

[Drew]

Wait, you should be her and I'll be the guy at the table.

[Enya]

That would be.

[Drew]

So that would be a really good, like, duo costume.

[Enya]

We'd have to find, like, a restaurant with a similar. Yeah, that would be iconic.

[Drew]

You are like this.

[Enya]

Cut it.

[Drew]

The gay monkey swiped.

[Enya]

Cut it. Oh, yeah, the orangutan. Kai. Kai. Can you get that?

[Drew]

Did you see that TikTok that? I was like, maybe bouncers are just like the orangutans in disguise. And she was just like, dude, dude, like the best.

[Enya]

I love that. Have you seen the original video?

[Drew]

Yeah, of him, like, at the window. The girls go there.

[Enya]

He's like, literally me watching when I was like, 14 watching Christmas haul videos. Like, come on. Like, we've seen enough of the beats by Dre.

[Drew]

When I watch a Vogue, what's in my bag?

[Enya]

Like, come on, I've seen enough of.

[Drew]

That product, dude, the Christmas holes. We can't do Christmas hauls anymore because a lot of y' all just live on a different kooky planet. Because it used to be even the rich girls you would watch are like, I got the, like, Maybelline baby lip gloss now. Y' all are like, I got the Hermes bag. Yeah. The BB cream.

[Enya]

The Maybelline, the BB Rex, our cream.

[Drew]

But, like, that's what it used to give. And even as, like, a broke kid, I Would watch that and be like, honestly, that's a good gift. But, like, I could have gotten that if I asked for that. So I was like, this is fun. I actually feel like I'm sharing with a friend and a peer.

[Enya]

Yeah, I know. The. The New age haul videos are, like, boring. Like, I don't want to see how much money your parents have. I want to see how many drugs you're doing. Like, I want to see what your nightlife looks like. I'm bored.

[Drew]

I can't believe I didn't sneak out as a kid. But also, where the was I gonna go?

[Enya]

Like, literally to the bodega up the street? Hello.

[Drew]

No, because that's like, the bodega. I got asked if I was a virgin at 14 by, like, a 40 year old man, and then the cashier laughed at me.

[Enya]

Randomly.

[Drew]

Randomly. He was right.

[Enya]

Like, I don't know how he scores.

[Drew]

Have I told that story, like, on the podcast? I think I have.

[Enya]

Like, in, like, the first episode.

[Drew]

Well, I'll tell it again. This is. Y' all are like, oh, why don't you like men, bitch? Any woman has. Any woman has 18 stories like this, which is crazy. Like, but I went to. My dad used to send us to this corner store to go and get.

[Enya]

Get off your phone. You're at work.

[Kai]

I'm writing notes about what Anya's saying. I'm so present now.

[Enya]

You.

[Kai]

You have no idea.

[Enya]

You proved a point.

[Drew]

Anyway, my dad used to be obsessed with tricky Coca Cola. And he would send us to the corner store, me and my older sibling, on our bikes, and we would go and my older sibling would stay outside with our two bikes watching them to make sure they didn't get stolen.

[Enya]

I want to be real. No, I want to be Coca Cola.

[Drew]

I want to be a 2 liter. We have to get a 2 liter.

[Enya]

We haven't had, like, we. Because we never order pizza. And I feel like you only get 2 liters when you order pizza or you're having a.

[Drew]

Or actually, no one talks about how, like, the coke, like, your family buys is a very tall tale sign of where you stand on the economic, like, space.

[Enya]

Did you ever have Shasta? Do you know what Shasta is? Have you ever had Shot the bootleg.

[Drew]

One that you told me about? They didn't have that in Miami.

[Enya]

Yeah, I figured it wasn't like, y' all weren't cool enough for that. No.

[Drew]

Oh, yeah. We're not Granbury, Texas. We're really missing out.

[Enya]

Shasta was my shit. Oh, Ryan, did you have Shasta you get it from Walmart, like, anywhere. Yeah, no, I know what you're talking.

[Drew]

Yeah, we had a brand like that. And I remember, like, it wasn't crushed, but there was like, oh, no. Publix brand soda was a big thing. And then. But then there was another brand. Maybe it is Shasta that I'm thinking about, because is it like the logo ribbons across the bottle like the can like that?

[Enya]

I'm sorry. I was looking at banana spiders, because I love them. Look at that.

[Drew]

Yes.

[Enya]

Big Red.

[Drew]

That was like some redneck. Big red is yummy.

[Enya]

And it would, like, stain your lips.

[Drew]

Oh, we did have Shasta.

[Enya]

This was like, my. Someone's selling a vintage Shasta orange fucking can for a thousand dollars.

[Drew]

Girls like my balls. Anyway, basically, I went to the fucking corner store, and when I went in to buy the Coke, I was standing in line with the cash in my hand, and the man behind me, right before I'm about to, like, put my thing down, goes, like, leaned over into my ear and was like, are you a virgin? And then I replied and I said, yes. And then he said, I can change that, mind you. He was like, 40 something. He was a grown ass, scary man. And what did the cashier do? He laughed at me. And what do I think? I think they should both be dead. And I would have dead mad if they got hit by a car. Actually, I don't even want you to die. I want you to get hit by a car like, 18 times. I want you to get hit by a car often enough that every time you leave the crib, you're like, you.

[Kai]

Know how I know that you didn't tell that story yet is because that guy's still alive. I haven't killed him yet. Every man that you've mentioned that has wronged you, me and Drew have murdered him.

[Enya]

You know, like Dexter. But of all the men that.

[Drew]

Men saying that stuff to me is actually such a big pet peeve. Like, obviously, I know you're joking, but I'm thinking about, like, I have this friend who literally said something like that to me. But being dead serious, being like, I know. Whose ass do I have to be? And I'm like, first of all, take a good look at yourself. You're not winning that fight.

[Enya]

You're not competing. Don't compete where you don't compare.

[Drew]

Because one thing you're not gonna do is go and fight in my honor and get your fucking ass whooped. And now I'm standing there like, duh, duh, duh, duh, do you know what we're referencing, Kai?

[Kai]

I have no idea.

[Drew]

From RuPaul's Drag Race, there's this thing called Snatch Games, so all the drag queens dress up like a celebrity that they, like, look alike or do a good impression of. And one of them did Miley Cyrus during Bangers era and had hammer was like, literally, like.

[Enya]

And, like, it's silent. It was, like, the most silent I've ever heard.

[Kai]

What was the Top Hat one?

[Enya]

Oh, that's Coco. That was her talent show, though.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Enya]

Ladies.

[Drew]

That's literally what Orion went to for her birthday celebration the other night that.

[Enya]

She posted on IG in. Yeah, a Halloween costume. Coco Mont Tre. That would go crazy.

[Drew]

That would be good.

[Enya]

Okay.

[Drew]

The dress she's wearing in that clip also, last thing I'll say, it looks like if I poured water on it, it would, like, melt away.

[Enya]

It's made of, like, cotton.

[Drew]

Like, I wonder if that was, like, her.

[Enya]

Like, everything isn't made of cotton. I meant cotton balls. Like, synthetic cotton balls. Don't those melt in water?

[Drew]

Yeah, but no, it's like rice paper. Like, when you put it on, it slowly absorbs it, like, dispersing.

[Enya]

Did you ever put Styrofoam? Oh, this is something fun I used to do. I used to put Styrofoam inside of. So I would get a big bowl of my mom's nail polish remover, and she would always get so fucking pissed at me because I would leave the cap off and it would evaporate, and I would take Styrofoam and I would put it in there and it would melt. And then I would take the goo that the Styrofoam and acetone made, and I'd mix it with wood shavings from my dad's, like, planer machine. And then I would put a little bit of gasoline in it, and I would make napalm.

[Drew]

Well, I didn't do shit like that, but I did get in trouble all the time when I was younger because we had a lot of wood surfaces in our house, and I would always use acetone to take off my nail polish and put a fucking cotton ball down on the varnished wood, and it would get stuck and I would freak out, bitch. A lot of vases were moved. A lot of aces were.

[Enya]

A lot of coverups happened.

[Drew]

A lot of placemats got placed. A lot of placemats.

[Kai]

I'm noticing that the light on Kai Cam is, like, a little harsh. And I'm wondering, like, oh, could we get a softbox or something? Just to, like, even it out here.

[Enya]

I'll show you my softbox, my butthole, and I'll fart air into your direction and make your hair blow back.

[Kai]

I would enjoy that, probably.

[Drew]

I'm gonna find a softbox, put you in it, and ship you to somebody who could maybe give a fuck about. But the problem is, oh, there is nobody to receive the package. It's going in the garbage.

[Enya]

It's going into the landfill. So it's gonna be in transit for eternity. Guys, guys, guys.

[Drew]

For eternity. I will never get over rain randomly in my backseat one day being like, y' all. I seriously, I don't know if hell is real or not, but, like, the idea of being there for a fucking eternity is freaking me the fuck out.

[Enya]

And she was just in the back.

[Drew]

Seat thinking about if she got sent to hell, she'd be there. Cuz she was like, we have no concept. We have no grasp of what the eternity is. Also, what the is buffalo sauce.

[Enya]

Oh.

[Drew]

What? I. I like. That's something I don't.

[Enya]

I don't need to know. It's probably, like, buffalo bones or something. Like, no.

[Drew]

I was looking at it today, and I was like, this might as well be, like, oil spill. It's like, what made the tumbler, like, oils, like, on the ground and make it a rainbow. That's what I feel like is in Buffalo.

[Enya]

Guys, I'm changing my name to Mike Hunt.

[Drew]

Oh, hell no.

[Enya]

No, I killed like that. Kill, bro. Don't leave. Okay, good.

[Drew]

My pants are doing the thing where because they're so baggy, when I sit up, it looks like I'm wearing, like, a cosplay costume with, like, it's two inches.

[Enya]

Yeah.

[Drew]

It's like, raising up literally, to my ribs right now.

[Enya]

Like, you have a boner.

[Drew]

I do. I always do.

[Enya]

Guys, so we all know I've been taking a iPhone. I've been. I've been hitting or. Oh. Oh, wow. I've been hitting myself. Oh, no. I've been taking a break from my iPhone. Like, this is known. I've talked about it for the last, like, three episodes. Well, yesterday, the app that I used, what's fucking crazy is it's a free app, but I love it so much, and I use it, and it changed my life in such a drastic way that I donated to this app. I gave them $5. It's a free app. And I was like, no. Like, I want you to keep it free so as many people as possible can use this app. Like, thank you. Donated to it. Drew the app Fucking glitched. The app glitched. I lost my 30 day streak on all my apps. And then also none of my apps locked. None of them locked. So I was just like, it. This is a sign from God to relapse. And I'm not kidding. I use my phone all day fucking long yesterday, and I was sitting in bed, like, actually crying real tears about how inspired I felt and how good it felt to use my iPhone. I was literally, like, looking at. I was looking.

[Drew]

You were traveling the world.

[Enya]

I know. Literally, I was looking at Orion's page. I was looking at India's page. I was looking at all my friends pages. I was looking at, like, other creative people's pages. And I was like, damn, I am so fucking inspired right now. Like, this is what it's all about. Like, this is what the iPhone is all about. And I proceeded to use it, I'm not kidding, for like six hours straight. And it was like a tolerance break. Like, it was literally like a weed tolerance break. Like, I took a break and then.

[Drew]

Now the high is better than you could have ever.

[Enya]

Exactly. I'm not. I don't have to chase a magic dragon anymore. Like, it's there. So I decided that I'm gonna do that, like, once every two weeks. Like, have a day where I'm just like, let's go crazy. But I really crazy. I really was at rock bottom. And I didn't realize it. Like, my phone made. Not having my phone made my life, like, a living hell. Because, like, what did I do? Like, actually, because I wasn't watching YouTube on my computer, I was, like, painting. Some days I was reading.

[Drew]

Well, you were in the living room with us more. You spent more time with us.

[Enya]

Oh, that's why it was hell. That's what. That's why it felt so poor and bad.

[Drew]

Right? Right. What the fuck was I going to say? Oh, last night I was in bed, and because I'm at a hotel, I was like, I need to watch a crime series on the tv. If y' all know. Y' all know that I used to be obsessed with watching, like, murder mysteries before going to bed. And then I stopped because I felt like it was the worst thing. I was obsessed with watching all that stuff, and I was like, I need to stop. This can't be good for my mental health. Did I see any benefits from not watching it? Not really. If anything, actually, I have a lot of anxiety.

[Enya]

Like, a lot of the things that are bad for you, like, ultimately, they.

[Drew]

Keep you on your toes.

[Enya]

Yeah, exactly.

[Drew]

Like heroin oh, well, no, I will say now that when I watch something about murder, I'm actually shocked. I'm like, I cannot believe this happens. When usually I would be like, oh, okay, that's like, not the craziest story I've ever heard. But now I'm like, like, so shell shocked bitch. Last night couldn't find a fucking crime channel. There was no crime channels on there. But what I did find was one. There is a Draft Kings channel where all they do. I passed this channel like four times. And I was like, this is the longest commercial ever. Every time I pass this channel, it's still Talk about ass. DraftKings and I'm not saying this in a positive way. I think that shit's fucked up. And it's literally just like incentivizing average people to gamble when they definitely shouldn't be gambling. Because gambling is a drug, imo. Whatever. There goes our ability to ever work with them ever. But I actually don't think I would.

[Enya]

I don't want.

[Drew]

Yeah, but I kept passing it. I was like, damn, this is the longest commercial I've ever seen. My God damn fucking life. I finally decide to stay on the channel and I'm recording because I'm like, I need to catch when this ends. And also because it was the weirdest layout of a commercial I had ever seen. No, it's the whole channel. All they do is talk about, like, it's so good, it's so good, it's so good. Let's hear from somebody who uses it. And then it's somebody who's like, it's awesome. It, like, automatically actually takes money out of my account. And I'm like, what are we talking about? Like, you could put on automatic bets. I'm like, that's crazy. You're not even getting the satisfaction of, like, using your finger to make a risk. It's literally just automatic risk taking.

[Enya]

Thank God gambling is not legal in California because I would be so addicted to it. Like, gambling gives me, like, the same high that, like, opiates gave me when I was younger. Like that. Yeah. Like, it could become a problem. Thankfully, like, I don't like casino gambling. Like, that shit's, like, boring. Like, old as fuck. Like, it smells like cigarette.

[Drew]

Like, that just sounds like a fun thing to do for maybe 10 minutes exactly. Like, maybe 10 minutes.

[Enya]

You go, you bring a hundred dollars with you in cash, you leave your cards in the car, and you just like, lose it in five minutes and then you leave.

[Drew]

Like, oh, but even that, I'd be like, Bruh, I could have gotten three meals off Wingstop.

[Enya]

I could have gotten 1 13th of the new leather mew mew New Balance shoes with that.

[Drew]

Yeah, you could have gotten the to like the toe section, like a little.

[Enya]

Yeah, I love toes, babe. I love eating feet.

[Drew]

Anyway, the other thing I saw on TV that really freaked me out because I'm taking so long to tell the stupid story is they still do like call to book flights. Which my up head was like, damn, they still do that. I need to start that business and scam the out of old people. Because in my head I was like, I bet they're scamming people. But I do want to call it tonight and like be like, oh, we want a flight from like LA to New York, round trip for these days. What's the price? And at the same time be on Google flights and see if the flight. If they're like overcharging you for fees.

[Enya]

For that flight, is it through the airline or is it through a different air or company?

[Drew]

No, it wasn't an airline thing. I'll literally tell you what it was. It felt like I was fucking stuck in 1982 watching that shit.

[Enya]

Crazy.

[Drew]

But it low cost airlines.

[Enya]

It should be that you get to smoke cigarettes on those flights.

[Drew]

I know if I'm calling to book my flight, bitch, let me, let me like light up.

[Enya]

There should be no TSA pre 911 TSA and cigarettes on board and. Yeah, never mind. I'm not gonna say that joke.

[Drew]

I'm crazy.

[Enya]

I'm so crazy. Everything I do is so lazy. Hey, hold up, hold up, hold up. Wait. What was the verse? I'm E.T. i'm an alien. I'm. Extra. Read all about it, read all about it. E.T. i'm an alien. Extra. Read all about it. You know like extra, extra, extra, extra. Read all about it, Read all about it. Like the newspaper boys.

[Drew]

Extra, extra. I think that was like a late night old news channel that would talk.

[Enya]

About like Mario Lopez, like posted it. Extra.

[Drew]

Mario Lopez, bro. He is alive right now. God bless. He's like alive and well and breathing as he's saying.

[Enya]

A person who did it right grinded through his 30s, grinding through his 30s, period through his 40s, and then dropped off the face of the worth earth. I don't know, you know, I think.

[Drew]

He'S still like doing that kind of stuff.

[Enya]

Honestly. Chase the bag. Chase the bag.

[Drew]

Whoa. Well, I never ended up finding something that was a crime thing to watch on the TV and I started this YouTube video. It scared the fuck out of me. Like, I've never been watching a YouTube video and started it being like falling asleep and then just waking up and open my eyes and be like, oh my God. Actually was scaring the fuck out of me.

[Enya]

And yeah, stop. I was gonna bring this fucking up. This is what I was talking about on the phone with you and our manager when I was back in Texas, when I was like, I have a crazy story that like, if I broke it would solidify me in the Internet zeitgeist forever. And everybody was like, nah, don't do it, don't do it. And I was like, yeah, you're right, I don't want to get involved in this. Look how many views that has.

[Drew]

Yeah, but then you would have the killer on my back too. I don't want who I am, y' all.

[Enya]

The Schoolboy 09. Wait, I didn't literally, I'm not going to like spoil anything, but literally, like two months ago, I. Yeah, I remember.

[Drew]

When you mentioned this, I was like, girl, you sound fucking crazy. You need to get off that damn phone.

[Enya]

I found. That's what I said, literally. You did? I found his accounts with like 12 likes. And like no one had ever. I was even sending them to you, Kai. Like, oh yeah, that like creepy guy. And you were like, can you please stop? Like this is really scary. And so I stopped. But literally I found him like so long ago. And I was like, this is crazy. Like, no one is talking about this shit. And then it's all that my TikTok feed has been the last week.

[Drew]

It's really spooky, Uki, but this video, like, this was giving me spooky vibes. Like high this, like creepy accounts pretending to be kids.

[Enya]

Creepy accounts pretending.

[Drew]

And I was like, oh, I'll just watch it. And then when they started showing me what he was posting, I got. I'm not kidding. This room was so pitch dark. Orion was dead asleep. And I kept looking at the door.

[Enya]

Cuz I was like, no. And yet that's what I was saying. Like, that gives me like. Like it gives me the same feeling that I get when I see like demonic presences in a movie. Like, I don't. I never watched Long Boy because I didn't want to see that long legs. Yeah, I didn't see. I didn't want to see that movie because people were like, it's really demonic hand and long. Because, like, I can't handle demonic shit. Like, I really don't even believe in that shit fully. Like, it just freaks me the fuck out. For some reason, it gives me dark, sinister energy. That shit gave me the same icky.

[Drew]

No, it vibes so gross. It's, like, disgusting. There's halfway in the video like that. I know. It's, like, very terrifying. And there. It feels like there's no winning, too.

[Enya]

Because we find out it's Kai.

[Drew]

Dude, it's not like that.

[Kai]

Let me see it again.

[Drew]

No, you.

[Enya]

It kind of looks like him.

[Drew]

See yourself.

[Kai]

No, it doesn't. Let me see it one more time and then I'll tell you.

[Drew]

Wait, wait, one.

[Kai]

It has, like, really high cheekbones and, like, very sucked in.

[Enya]

PSL 7. So it's Chad Light.

[Kai]

Okay.

[Enya]

PSL 6 is above average. That is so Kai.

[Drew]

That is Kai. I never even thought about it.

[Enya]

That is actually so Kai. Vibes. Okay. We are so back and better. So many cuts this episode. Oh, wow. Okay, so Speedrun. The animation that someone made of the podcast was literally, like, one of my favorite things ever.

[Drew]

Oh, yeah, it was really cute.

[Enya]

It was so cute. And it, like, literally made me feel like, oh, my God. Like, we could do, like, the Duncan Trussell thing with our podcast where we just, like, take certain clips and, like, animate it and make, like, a freaking mini short of, like, our interactions. Like, that would be really cool to do, but shout out that will insert it. Let's talk about Finsta. Have we ever talked about Finsta? Oh, my God, it was super cool. More. More animation, please. More animation.

[Drew]

Dude, I have the gnarliest migraine right now, and it's like, it kind of started when Kai, like, first got here and started, like, talking, and then I, like, this might have been like, the more he talked, this smell started filling the room, and I think it's just like, yeah, you.

[Enya]

You smell that me? And licked his lips.

[Drew]

What are you talking about?

[Enya]

Did turn me on a little bit.

[Drew]

Ew.

[Enya]

Like, whispered that I got by Kai. I got rizzed up by Livy Dun.

[Kai]

It might have been a coincidence. I feel like there's no reason why me talking would make you have a headache. Like, that's. Sure.

[Drew]

Well, it's because this stench that followed, it followed.

[Kai]

Okay, we established that that's the buffalo sauce in the bathroom.

[Enya]

No, that's.

[Drew]

No, that's you.

[Enya]

That's your soggy bottom, dude.

[Drew]

If y' all ever wanted to know what Kai smells like.

[Kai]

Smells like asop.

[Drew]

You just have to, like, get buffalo wings and then put them in, like, a fridge.

[Kai]

A lot of people like the smell of buffalo.

[Drew]

It. What's it called? What's it called? What was it say, oh, yeah. If you want to know what Kai smells like, get buffalo wings, put them in, like, a fridge, and then just open the fridge really fast so all of that, like, stench wafts out at you. And that is. I'm not kidding. That is exactly what Kai smells like.

[Kai]

Oh, but here's the thing.

[Drew]

People with a little bit of mildew.

[Kai]

People actually will get wings. They'll get buffalo wings and their mouth will water because it smells so fucking good and delicious. So think about that. You're saying people's mouths water when they smell me?

[Drew]

No, I think when it comes from a human juice.

[Enya]

When I. My fucking pussy is wet when I see Kaiser.

[Kai]

Did you mean that? That I had nice legs?

[Enya]

Of course.

[Kai]

Thank you, guys.

[Enya]

Body is tea lately. Stop.

[Drew]

Okay, so keep it up because it can fade quick.

[Enya]

Y' all. You guys gotta chill. Like, y' all really actually, like.

[Drew]

Okay, so y' all.

[Enya]

No, literally, they gotta chill because they are in my business, email messaging me diagnosing me with autism and with a hernia. I don't know what I did. Literally, I don't know what I did in the last episode, but I got, like, three emails saying I had autism and one that said I had a hernia. But the hernia one was a miss. Like, they didn't understand what I was saying. Like, I know what a hernia is. I had a hernia when I was, like, nine. This is just when my colon gets full of poop and constipation. It bulges out a little bit, but it's not like the bubble that you think of when you see, like, a hernia in the abdomen.

[Drew]

That is so disgusting.

[Enya]

But I did book a ZOC doc appointment because I was like, what if I've just had a hernia this whole time? Haven't been yet, but we will update.

[Drew]

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. No, please. The picture, the picture.

[Enya]

Okay. It's actually perfect that Orion is here because. Orion, come here. Okay, so India and I were sitting on the couch and we were trying to find your John Lennon photo.

[Drew]

She found it. She has it.

[Enya]

Oh, okay. So. Oh. Oh. All my shit got deleted.

[Drew]

Which one's the original? Because I have, like, 800. Yeah, when I was looking, I didn't know which one was.

[Enya]

Dude, it's like, literally the greatest photo of all time. We'll spare you Orion. We won't post it and unless you want us to. Oh, really?

[Drew]

Acting like you respect. Like, I never posted.

[Enya]

I probably have posted on. Yeah. My story.

[Drew]

But no, I don't know if I've ever seen it online.

[Enya]

Like, well, I got all of the karma just like thrusted right back at me. Orion. Cuz I had my John Lennon moment in a Marc Jacobs shoot.

[Drew]

Oh, wait, I need to. That's not you, bro.

[Enya]

It's like, it doesn't. It's straight up, like a.

[Kai]

Wait, is that actually a photo of Drew?

[Drew]

And you know what's worse is it's a live photo. So, like, you can really see that it's him. Hello? Oh, it's a screenshot of a live photo on my phone. Looks like your brothers with that picture of you in the back of the car.

[Enya]

Stop. That's what we were referencing.

[Drew]

You're like this, like, siblings, like, that version of y' all. It's so gross. I hate it.

[Enya]

This shit. I just.

[Drew]

It's also the red lighting. Like, me and Drew just need to avoid fudgeing red lighting because we start looking fucked up. Red lighting, like, objectively makes somebody look hotter.

[Enya]

I mean, when you're me and I am proving points, improving points.

[Drew]

It looks like day was that like, it was in February.

[Enya]

Yeah, it was when we did the Mark shoot. But that literally, that photo change the trajectory of my life. And I'm not kidding, I started like, it, like, it sent me into an episode. Like, literally, I was like, is this actually what my profile looks like? And it was just like, very bad timing, obviously, because I don't look like that.

[Drew]

No, you are perfect.

[Enya]

Thanks.

[Drew]

No, sometimes when I look at you, that's kind of just. You are perfect.

[Enya]

Okay.

[Drew]

No, sometimes when I see Drew, that is what he looks like, though. I'm gonna be honest.

[Enya]

Okay. Ms. Backseat.

[Kai]

You never look like that. You don't. You always look good. I feel like your jaw is very defined normally.

[Enya]

Thank you. Okay. Ryan, I just wanted to show you that iconic moment. Yeah. Orion literally has been inside the cupboard the whole time. Sorry, what'd you say again?

[Kai]

Kai, your jaw looks super good normally.

[Enya]

Thank you. Wait, actually, could you say it one more time?

[Kai]

Your jaw looks good and it looks very handsome.

[Enya]

It's actually so random that I cannot hear you.

[Kai]

Oh, your jaw looks.

[Drew]

Getting you to repeat yourself.

[Kai]

Oh, he's manipulating me.

[Drew]

Yes, once again, he's manipulating you.

[Enya]

I'm a manipulator.

[Drew]

Pictures. You just look, like, scary.

[Enya]

Oh, wow.

[Drew]

Like, you. That's just not you.

[Enya]

Yeah, I really don't know who that person is. Like, it's really jarring. It's really jarring. And what's crazier is that, like, they thought I looked good.

[Drew]

No, you did look good and all in the pictures that we got taken of us. You looked good or.

[Enya]

No, no, my. The person. Our manager thought I looked good.

[Drew]

My bangs look up. It looks like I have like a huge, like, mullet.

[Enya]

The bangs were banging.

[Drew]

Okay, wow.

[Enya]

Well, okay, well also, I know this has been talked about one bajillion times online, but I figured we would need to talk about it as well, because it is a very. A very crazy thing that exists that I don't think enough people are talking about. There is literally a ticket out right now that when it bites you, literally when it bites you, it makes you allergic to meat.

[Drew]

I don't know if that's real. I don't know if I believe it.

[Enya]

It's real. It's. It is literally real. You're supposed to say, oh, you need.

[Drew]

To get bit by that, my good sis.

[Enya]

Wait, why?

[Drew]

Because you are gay.

[Enya]

Oh, because I like me. Wow.

[Drew]

Because you're obsessed with me.

[Enya]

I told Enya yester was like, when I bring this up, you're supposed to say, oh, you need that tick. Like, I set her up for a slam dunk, like, gay joke and she fumbled like crazy.

[Drew]

Well, cuz I was just actually intrigued in the conversation. Like when you speak to me, I'm just like, yes, yes.

[Enya]

So present. Wait, that was weird. We're like dapping up right now. We need to like, hold our. Each other. Yeah, that's more. That's more like.

[Drew]

Feels a bit unnatural. Like, this just seems unnatural right now.

[Kai]

Oh, Drew is Elijah. You're Elijah from Girls. They're just connected. Seeing you guys do that and how like, clearly uncomfortable you are touching a woman's hand.

[Drew]

You know that we could fire you for being homophobic, right?

[Kai]

Yeah, no, it's an un.

[Enya]

I'm reporting you to hr, which is me, and you're done.

[Drew]

I hate to say it, but our HR rep has a huge bias against.

[Enya]

You, so you're kind of good.

[Kai]

Okay.

[Enya]

What?

[Kai]

Well, all right. I was just kind of observing something. It wasn't homophobic at all. I actually love gay people. You know that. Everyone knows that. That's a. We know that because you love me. We're friends. We're good friends.

[Drew]

Who said that? Did you ever say that to him?

[Enya]

What if I said that?

[Drew]

Who said that?

[Enya]

Okay, well, that was like a sneak dis Kai, so. Oh, Kai's so shady. Kai's a shade.

[Drew]

Saturday, Saturday, Saturday, Sunday what? Saturday fest.

[Enya]

What the people with eye issues do before glasses were invented.

[Drew]

Get a headache. Like. Oh, that's why I Have a headache right now. I haven't been wearing my glasses all day.

[Enya]

See? No, but actually, like, did they, like, just. Were they blind or did they not exist until, like, there were holes in the ozone layer?

[Drew]

Nobody needed glasses before we had phones.

[Enya]

It's that damn phone. It's always that damn phone, bro.

[Drew]

Okay, I need to clarify. I obviously don't think that's true because sometimes I really do sound like the dumbest person on this podcast. And recently it's been getting to my head.

[Enya]

There's only two of us, so if you're not the dumbest, that makes me the dumbest.

[Drew]

No, there's Kai.

[Kai]

There's a third. There is a third. Thank you. Wow. You know what?

[Drew]

You're stupid.

[Kai]

To. To which at in your favor of that statement of, like, oh, well, maybe people's eyes were better in the past. There's, I think, a lot of evidence that people's teeth were better.

[Enya]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kai]

So maybe there. I don't know, maybe there's something to that. Like, we're unnaturally looking at.

[Drew]

I could see, like, there being a connection between how much LED we stare at and our. I mean, look at the Blu Ray lights. Like the Blu Ray lens.

[Enya]

Okay, well, when India, like, there. There's like, always, like, when we're going out, there's like an hour long period, bro. It's like, really haunted. Like, bruh. Like, it's haunted.

[Kai]

You got bodied. It also looks like you have no hair, like, in the middle of the top of your head.

[Drew]

I know. Like, weird as fuck.

[Enya]

No, it's like, literally, it's my backseat. And also the way I'm staring. I have, like, beady little eyes. Like, I look, like, scary. I look like I have, like, a big nose. My jaw is recessed. Like, it's really, like, everything that I hate about myself and what I see in the mirror.

[Kai]

I will say you never, ever look like this.

[Enya]

Yeah. Thank you.

[Kai]

Ever.

[Enya]

Thank you. But Anya does look like Enya does look like the backseat photo. Like, that is what I look like in person.

[Drew]

Yeah. Most of the time people turn to me and that's what I look like.

[Enya]

Even thinking about that fucking photo makes me cry, laughing. You're so, so bad. Okay. But there comes a night or point in every night when we go out where Enya asked me, like, what does she want? Or which outfit should she wear? And, like, I don't think you realize how seriously I take that. Like, I. That has become like, Anna Wintour.

[Drew]

Like, I'm living tour.

[Enya]

Yeah. That's the Girl, Yeah, I take that very seriously. And I don't think I've made a wrong choice yet.

[Drew]

Yeah, I don't think so. I feel like you give really good advice. Like, you give practical. You take into, like, account the practicality, the vibe of it, the look of it, how it will hold through the night. Like, you're like, well, are you just gonna doing this? Are you going to do something after? Like, what's your vibe?

[Enya]

I'm always thinking about if cigarettes are involved, like, getting.

[Drew]

Oh, it's going to, like, get all over my clothing. But I don't smoke cigarettes anymore, so that's not a problem. And now at this point, when somebody smokes near me, I'm like, girl, like, you're going to make me stink. Which is crazy because I used to stink.

[Enya]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Now I just smell like digital.

[Enya]

Yeah. Okay. The last thing I want to bring up is, finally, I did me in India. I downloaded this app that scans your face and then gives you, like, a rating out of 10 guys. I did so good on it.

[Drew]

He did so many. Like, he has so many.

[Enya]

Oh, wait, Kai, this is what I was gonna show you. Come here.

[Drew]

I just saw a picture of, like, you shirtless, and that was, like, the craziest thing I've ever seen.

[Enya]

Oh, that's just me body checking.

[Kai]

Oh, shit.

[Enya]

Yeah, this is what I was. Yeah, this is what I was gonna. Yeah, it's definitely because it was blurry and the lighting was crazy. But no, I was gonna send that to you, but I was like, I want to show them in person.

[Drew]

You should start uploading, like, Facetune pictures of you shirtless and, like, huge.

[Enya]

Well, no, I'm gonna go on a testosterone, like. Like, trembalone. Like, TRT protocol. Yeah. Or, like, do some. Just some general anabolic steroids for six months. I'm gonna blast it. Like, I'm gonna go hard as.

[Drew]

Love yourself.

[Enya]

That's exactly what I'm doing. Now. I'm gonna get big as, and then y' all are gonna be like, whoa. Drew's, like, really angry and mean.

[Drew]

What? Does that stuff make you mad?

[Enya]

No, it just makes you your real self.

[Kai]

Wait, was that the thing you're gonna tell me earlier? You said there's horrible news. No, I'm not saying that.

[Enya]

You said my body is like.

[Kai]

No, no, no. I did not mean it like that. I genuinely.

[Drew]

No, we're gonna tell you you're fired at, like, in, like, 10 minutes.

[Kai]

But I still have my job right now.

[Drew]

For the next 13 minutes. Yes.

[Kai]

Okay.

[Enya]

Okay. So the first one I did.

[Kai]

I could still get it back. I could still get it back.

[Enya]

No, the first one I did, I got a 7.6 and I was like, okay, that seems, like, really high. That doesn't make sense. So then I edited a picture of myself with Facetune and I submitted it. It got a 9.6 and I was like, oh, wait, it's kind of accurate. So then Josh did it and got a 7.6, and then Enya did it and got like a 7 point something. And I was like, damn. So then I was like, hold on. Like, let me mind you.

[Drew]

I think it can only really identify you, like, masculine as a man, because every time it'd be like, masculinity, your jawline, like, you're the top 1% of men. I'm not a man of my girl.

[Enya]

You're not a girl. And then I did it and I got an 8.4 and I was like, oh, whoa. Like, that's crazy. And then, y' all, I ended it off with a 9.3 on a real photo of my.

[Drew]

Can you see it that he took?

[Enya]

I don't have it. I took it real time in Apple. But, like, I'm kind of giving now.

[Drew]

Okay, I think I need to take an Advil because. Or I need to put my glasses on because I'm not kidding.

[Enya]

And I'm dancing for fun. Oh, baby. Oh. That echo was, like, sharp. It sounded like we hit metal.

[Drew]

I shouldn't be doing that because my.

[Enya]

Head drew psy up corner.

[Drew]

These don't make me laugh. I'm hitting you tonight.

[Enya]

Burger King got chicken sandwiches now what's next? Pee at the poop store.

[Drew]

Okay.

[Enya]

Folklore evermore canker sore. I don't give a fuck. Where is the liquor store?

[Drew]

Dude, these ones suck in, like, the best way.

[Enya]

I need some coochie, quill and hedonol from in y' all or India. Kai sent this to me. Imagine. And he typed imagine this is. This is his word.

[Kai]

I didn't type this out. Someone emailed this to me.

[Enya]

Imagine hiring a gay dude to cry at your op's funeral.

[Drew]

Oh, my God, I love that one. I saw that today. Taking notes.

[Enya]

Demon emoji literally noted as. Guys, can we bring back Noted.

[Drew]

Please?

[Enya]

Like, like, please can we do it? And I think that's all I have to talk about.

[Drew]

Yeah, that's kind of it.

[Enya]

The last thing that I was like, I already talked about this, though, was how me buying the Tick Tock shop hot bowl was, like, really one of the worst points in my life. Like, that was really dark sided, dude.

[Drew]

It definitely has to be illegal to like ship containers like that out.

[Enya]

Yeah. Like raw eggs or like eggs across the country and like heat boiled eggs. The Pepsi, like, the point of almost exploding was like crazy. That like it was next to an egg. So that means it was like so hot that it was like boiling or like the pressure was so high that it was like crushing it. Crazy.

[Drew]

All right, well, here is my freaking media.

[Enya]

My media is that little ginger in my life.

[Drew]

Gabor Sable. Photographs and memories. Jim Cross. How do you say his name? Orion. Bro, she can't hear us in that cabinet. She's losing oxygen in there. I don't. How do you say Jim Crow? Is. Is it Jim Crow? Crosh. Okay. Photographs and memories. Jim Croch and just a New York poem by Nikki Giovanni. The. That album reminds me of rain. Like, this is. Feels like her life. And that's it for my fucking media. Honestly, no movies, no nothing. Leave me alone.

[Enya]

My media is twisters and 40x. It's going to be a movie. I'm going to see it tomorrow. Super excited. And then this. I found this like anime that was like, like a three part, like short trilogy, but, like together it made like one long story. It's kind of like Black Mirror vibes, like. But it was made in the 90s and it was so good. Oh, I can't open it. But I'm just gonna unlock it. Doesn't exist. But it's like Magnetic Rose or some like that. Let's see if I can find it. It's. It's.

[Drew]

I'm gonna make Magnetic Rose toys. You put the magnet in your cooch. Oh, sticks to you. So no hands.

[Enya]

That's actually a really good idea. But there's a song from that. How would you say that? From that? Anime Corral or Corral C H O R A L by Yoko Kano. But the soundtrack for the thing, the thing is called Memories. So go watch Memories. And the soundtrack is lit.

[Drew]

Probably sounds like exactly what I thought. Sounds like you could listen. Listen. You could listen to this kind of all you want.

[Kai]

I love this.

[Drew]

God will know you had Grinder.

[Kai]

I love this type of stuff.

[Enya]

Drew, you're dead to me.

[Drew]

Hey, come here. You're by.

[Enya]

You're by.

[Drew]

All right, well, I'm going to go.

[Enya]

Take a huge dump and I'm gonna go back home. No, you're gonna hang and love my life.

[Drew]

Please stay the night with me. All right.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Now through June 24th score hot summer savings and earn four times the points. Look for in store tags on items like Kinder Bueno, Cheez It Crackers, Oscar Mayer Lunchables, and Just Bear Chicken Bites. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event long savings. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in store or online for easy drive up and go pickup or delivery subject to availability restrictions apply. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details.