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Jessica
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Jessica
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Jessica
Guys, I want to. Oh, wait. Welcome to this episode of Emergency Intercom. You're very special. You're very lovely. I'm very proud of you.
Drew
Thank you so much for choosing to spend some time with me.
Jessica
Yeah, you're. You're a beautiful human being inside and out.
Enya
Oh, my God. Thank you guys so much.
Jessica
And we're not talking about Kai.
Enya
Such a positive way to start talking about me.
Jessica
I did also want to say happy International Women's Day. Woman's Day. Although it was on daylight savings day, so it was only 23 hours. Which is really funny that International Women's day was only 23 hours.
Drew
It's like Hispanic or Latin Heritage Month starts in the middle and ends in the middle of a random month. And then Black History Month.
Jessica
Black History Month. 28 days. And I mean, but Gay pride. Longest month of the year.
Drew
Yeah. At least they got. They got June. Oh, oh, sorry.
Enya
I just have to move some stuff around. Just. But you guys can continue to riff and. Oh, God, Jesus. Continue to riff and be awesome.
Jessica
But yeah, happy International Women's Day. But more importantly than that, guys, it was my birthday last week.
Drew
Oh, my God. 28.
Jessica
Big old 20 did what? Huh?
Drew
20 did what?
Jessica
Hey, sis. That was what my cake said.
Drew
Really? Oh, my God. I love 28. Oh, I mean, yeah. Yeah. I thought it said that whole sentence. I was like, I don't think it said that whole thing.
Jessica
No, I just said 28.
Drew
How are you feeling? How would you describe your, like, how would you rate your first, like, full week of being 28?
Jessica
Literally nothing is different. I have been saying that this is the oldest I will be, and everybody interprets it as like, oh, I'm going to die at 28. No, I mean, like, being 28 years old is, I think, the oldest a human being can feel. And then 29, you're like, oh, I'm about to be, like, 30. Like, my life's about to start. Then you turn 30 and you're a fucking baby again. And in your 30s, you're like, infantile. And then you get to 40s and
Enya
you're like, last year I felt really old, and then I turned like, 24. And I was actually not that old, but the levels are good. Yeah.
Drew
Jesus Christ. Oh, my God. Now I'm still. I've said it always, at least for Anya. I'm so excited to be 30. I feel like once I turn 30, like, world, stop. Carry on doesn't come.
Jessica
Carry on, carry on.
Drew
Wait, so you're. You're gonna rate it? What?
Jessica
Like, I'm rating it like a six out of ten. It's. It's just. Is six is low.
Drew
Why wouldn't it be seven? Because seven is at the average.
Jessica
Six, seven, six, seven. Wait, isn't five the average?
Drew
I'm rolling my eyes as if Rain and I weren't in a restaurant. And we were checking in flight the next day together, and we were trying to make sure our seats were next to each other. And I was in this seat, six. And she was like, oh, I'm gonna do seven. And we both unironically, like, under our breasts to each other, repeated six, seven, for like a minute straight.
Jessica
Six, seven.
Enya
Where are my slippers?
Jessica
They're in the living room or in the entryway.
Enya
All of a sudden, I noticed my feet were super cold.
Jessica
Do you want me to get them for you?
Enya
No, I'll get them. I'll get them. I don't want you. I don't want to make a person do but work for me.
Jessica
My birthday was cute, and then I went out the weekend after and actually kind of celebrated my birthday, but secretly I didn't tell anybody I was selling my birthday.
Drew
You apparently had the best weekend of your goddamn life.
Jessica
Pretty close. Pretty close to it. I can't tell part of it without Kai being here, because Kai was a part of it. But I went out two nights in a row, which is fucking crazy.
Drew
That is unreal.
Jessica
I. I went ham, but I didn't drink. And then I got home and projectile vomited everywhere.
Drew
Hey. Oh, my God. Also, I do have to preface. I am, like, so tired right now. Just because I'm jet lagged. I am a piece of shit. And got invited to the Dior show in Paris right before Drew's birthday. And I said yes. I said yes to the dress. So I went to Paris in London, and I had, like, the most fun trip ever. But I just got back. Yesterday was my first day back, and I'm not kidding, yesterday feels like it was three days. So I'm just like, yeah, I feel like, hashtag out of body, but in best way possible. Okay, now that Kai's back, do you
Jessica
want to talk about the gay Rave we went to with me.
Enya
Yeah. So actually shout out to. I think it's kind of an apologist for dming me what yaoi is. I didn't know it. Yo, do you know what yaoi is?
Drew
Yeah. Isn't it like gay guy? Like manga? Yeah. I was gonna say anime.
Enya
Yeah.
Drew
Because Yuri is the girl version.
Enya
Yeah, it's gay anime. And then our friend Ryan apparently has done two other yaoi raves. A few.
Ryan Seacrest
Yeah.
Enya
And we went to it and it was one of the most fun nights I've ever.
Jessica
Really special. We were like in the green room.
Drew
Liter were separately talking about it to me.
Jessica
We were in the green room just like kind of looking around and like I've been in a lot of very queer spaces, but like this one just felt like very wholesome. Like it wasn't like there's been some darkness in a few of them. And I don't know if that's just
Drew
because of like also every room has darkness challenge.
Jessica
Yeah. But this, like, everybody was just so happy. No one was like, angry. Like me and Kai, like, Kai turned to me, mind you, the only straight person in the building, I guarantee. And like we're just like talking back and forth and like we're looking around the green room and there's this like tall non binary person in a black veil. There's like a trans person sitting next to Kai. There's like three gay guys in tracksuits, like about to start. Go. Go dancing. And then Kai looks to me and he goes, I think this is the best night of my life. And I was just like, it was so.
Drew
I mean it does sound awesome, like, but I'm not shocked. Only because to be at an event like that, it's like how I'm always like, the people who get poked the most fun poked at them who are like really expressive by nature are the most lit people because like, ho, you got some passion to you that I just like, I can't like understand. Like, I need to be around that.
Jessica
I did do a drug for the first time for real that night and then got pulled away for an interview literally five seconds after. So there is footage of me on a drug that I did for the very first time in my entire life answering questions about Yowie. I don't know anything about Yowie. And so I asked Ryan and his boyfriend like, oh, like, give me a yowie real quick. And they were like, oh, you like the omega verse? I look up the omega verse. It's like incest inbreeding, like Pregnant men, like, just insane. And I want a drug for the first time answering that.
Drew
And did you say it with confidence, though?
Jessica
I said it with confidence. I said it with confidence. I owned it.
Drew
What's wrong with being confident?
Enya
But it was so fun. There were these extremely strong guys that I kept stuffing dollar bills into their thongs.
Jessica
Yeah, yeah. Go go dancers.
Enya
And it was so sick.
Jessica
Go go dancers.
Drew
That does sound fun.
Enya
And then me and we watched a
Jessica
boys kissing, boys kissing contest from the crowd, and it was really cool.
Enya
And then me and Drew walked back to my house and then slept in the same bed. We both showered.
Jessica
Wait. And then insert the photo.
Enya
Okay, I'll answer here, but yeah, us falling asleep after both showering and then going on TikTok silently shirtless. Yeah.
Jessica
Kai fully clothed because he was nervous next to my longer body, scared.
Ryan Seacrest
Oh, my God.
Drew
You seriously kept your shirt on next to Drew?
Enya
Yeah, well, I never. I never sleep without a shirt.
Jessica
So decided to tell me today.
Drew
Odd thing, like, people who are like, so, like, either against one or the
Jessica
other, if I'm sleeping with another human being, I need to be like shirtless, borderline naked. I need to feel their skin.
Drew
I just don't. Like, I think it's just up in the air. It's like. But also, I mean, dude, with the way I sweat now, like, I need to have clothes on because. Fuck. I forgot where I was sleeping. But I woke up recently. I think it was the day I left to the airport. I woke up, I'd fallen asleep without a shirt on. And I woke up with like a pool of sweat on my chest. And then like, I was like sleeping with my, like, face on the pillow like this. And the face that was on the pillow was soaking wet. Like, I couldn't believe it. Literally felt like I fell asleep in like, Brazil or some shit. Like, no, it was like a 70 degree morning in L. A.
Jessica
It was the first like. Or the day after the first hot day in L. A. I think it was a Sunday. Was like really hot. It was like 90 degrees. And I came home and I woke up on Monday covered in sweat. And I was like, God damn it, here we fucking go. Like, it's about to be horrible. Sweaty nights, sweaty nights in la.
Drew
Well, London was the funniest trip of my fucking goddamn life. And I haven't told Terrorizing anything. Not terrorizing the hotel, because to be fair, a lot of the things that happen there. I'm not going to say what hotel, because, like, hashtag, like, home is where the heart is. Like, you I know where home is. Let's just say that.
Enya
Hello.
Jessica
You're throwing things.
Drew
I'm up. I literally feel. I feel like I've drank wine today. Like I'm at that point of like delirious. Like if I had a glass of wine, it would probably feel like I'm on a Quaalude. Like that's like the.
Jessica
You should get there.
Drew
Go get me a glass, baby. I love.
Jessica
No.
Drew
Okay. The. Honestly, I also like don't think I need to drink for a minute because I was on like a seven day bender because I was in Paris for two nights and then in London for five nights and all we were doing was like going out and like playing darts or bowling and shit and just like drinking and it was so fucking fun. But the. I think it might have been the second night we were at this hotel. We're all. It's like a group of like me, Rain, and a bunch of friends. And I'm trying to think of how many people this. This night. We were like deep. Like it was like it would literally looked like we were having like a family reunion. Like it was so many goddamn people. Kai's laughing at his computer.
Enya
No, Drew said deep under his breath.
Jessica
That you were deep. 20 people deep. What?
Drew
So it was a bunch of us, period bunch. It was like so many of us. Whatever. I'm drunk as and I'm so jet lagged. I'm just like so out of it. And it wasn't even that late because like at no point, I don't think there was a single night where I stayed up. Really. I think the latest I'd stayed up was maybe like 3:30am but every night I just passed the out. Like I was not up up, but I go to walk to the bathroom. And as I'm walking to the bathroom, I cross this woman who looks like if I. I knew I was up, but like if I thought I looked as up as I felt, this bitch looked like like this random woman, this random blonde woman, let's honestly just call her Jane because like she like gave Jane. Yeah, she just gave Jane. So I'm walking away and Jane's walking past me. Whatever. I go to the bathroom, do my thing. Oh my God. Y' all know how I feel about a bathroom when I am like crossfaded or drunk in a bathroom. I'm seriously in hashtag heaven.
Jessica
Like, you twerking in there, like, will you throw an ass? And like, That's what girls do in bathrooms, right? They like twerk on each other and that's what I imagine.
Drew
No, they stick their dick in the toilet paper hole and hope somebody sucks it from the other end.
Jessica
Come on.
Enya
Come on.
Drew
But what the was I gonna say?
Jessica
You went to the bathroom.
Drew
Okay, you know how you loving my bathroom time? Don't know how much time passes, but enough for this woman to have gone and caused such a ruckus that when I'm walking back to the table, we're at like I. Damn. I was low key gone for a minute. I was gone for a minute.
Jessica
What were you doing in there?
Drew
No, because I'm remembering like I was looking through my. I was looking through my camera roll and I was at that point of like drunk delirium where like that's how I end up with the weirdest, dumbest dumps. And for Instagram. Cuz I'm like, I guess I just thought that was the vibe like. And I looked and I had walked down the stairs the wrong way to the bathroom and then was like, wait, I actually have never been to the bathroom in the lobby of this hotel. And then I went back upstairs and I was like, oh my God, my skirt sounds so pretty going up the stairs cuz it has these like metal sequins. So I guess I went back downstairs cuz I recorded going. But then yeah, I came back down upstairs because I was like, oh, setting
Jessica
your camera up on the tripod.
Drew
Oh, I don't be doing all that. Well, that's the thing, those videos, like, that's what makes those videos actually so funny is it's like you have the lust for life to record it, but
Jessica
not to like put you do it maybe three times.
Drew
Yeah, no, not even that. It's like a two second video.
Jessica
And I'm like, oh, I thought you were talking about the people that set their cameras up and walk up the stairs and then walk back down to get their camera and walk back up. But you're talking about your experience.
Drew
There's something so like actually twisted about me because even in my like, if nobody is watching, why do I have such a big ego that I wouldn't allow myself to do something more than once? Like all the time. I'll be dead alone. And if I'm recording myself, I'm like so disgusted with myself. I always do it once and I look back and I'm like, bro, it wouldn't have killed you to just like walk up and down for one good pick. That's why you have no ign. Anyways, I'm sorry, I'm like, I literally feel insane right now.
Jessica
You'd never been in the bathroom in the hotel.
Enya
So you.
Drew
Okay. So I was gone for a minute. Whatever, I'm coming back. And I can't remember who, but I think the la. The last person I'd spoken to at the table, mind you, like, this was. I had met a few of these friends on my last trip with Rain, but there were like a lot of new faces at this table. But we had been hanging out for so many hours at this point that I could tell everyone, even the new people I just met were all mad uncomfortable. And when I was walking past, Rain was like, don't go back that way. I like, have your bag and everything. We grabbed everything. And I was like, oh, what? And then she like goes to this new table and I see that like one of the waiters is like kind of like chaperoning everyone to this side. And then somebody stops me and they're like, gives me my bag and they're like, oh, we. We are moving. Because, dude, that lady is like tweaking. And like, somebody was like, yeah, like, he. She was like yelling at. She was yelling at us. Like, she like came and sat down and was yelling at us. And I was so confused, like, actually
Jessica
yelling or like just being loud, like
Drew
being an insane person. I. I had no recoll. She also, mind you, they're telling me this. She has gone over to where, like Rain and like Daisy and like this whole group of friends I'm with, like, she's gone over and I'm watching her as like, they're updating me and I'm so fudgeing confused. But I grabbed my bag and like, as they're updating me, she's over there for less than like three seconds and then turns back around and comes and walks up to me. She says that she goes, I just been uninvited from over there. And I was like, baby, I don't know if you were ever invited, we don't know who you are. And she was like, oh, you're just as rude as the others. And like, she's like, like twiddling her thumbs. And as she's saying that, one of the waiter comes up and he looks bug eyed and like terrified. And he's like, ma', am, like, I think you need to. I really think you should go. You've had way too much to drink. And she is, I would say she's like mid-40s. And she just seems like, exactly, she's. But I don't remember if she had an accent or she was just slurring like, she was just up. I was like, she had to have been on a quaalude. And when I tell you the other information, dude, the information that unraveled from this whole night was so funny. But she's, like, sitting here and, like, kind of twiddling her thumbs, and she's like. She was like, everyone, you're all so aggressive to me. Like, she's just, like, looking at her nose. She's like, you're all being so aggressive to me. I go back to the table, come to find out, the second I got up and left, this woman just came and sat in my seat. And Rain immediately, mind you, it's like, the room isn't that big, and it's maybe I'm gonna say seven of us. Like, seven or eight of us around this table.
Jessica
Six or seven.
Drew
I knew it was coming, and, like, it was like seven or eight of us around this table. And I stand up and leave. And the second I leave, she goes and sits. And it's so. It's not like there's a bunch of seats around. And she's just, like, sitting. Sitting in a. An open space. She literally. It's like going to a restaurant.
Jessica
She's, like, sitting on someone.
Drew
So Rain immediately is like, oh, I'm so sorry, but my friend just sat there, and she just turned straight and goes, well, this one's a bitch. And then all of them were like, why? And she. She was just like, you're all just so rude. I've been here, and nobody's asked me a single question.
Jessica
Wait, that's me, though. That's literally me. I'm, like, always asking the questions. And then like, oh, my God, that's so funny.
Drew
And then, like, obviously.
Jessica
How long was she sitting there, dude?
Drew
She was sat there. I think they said they let it slide for, like, 30 seconds maybe. Like, I don't know. It was one of those.
Jessica
Yeah, there should have been, like, at least 20 questions asked in those 30 seconds.
Drew
She. Dude, she just started looking at everybody and just saying, like, rude things and being like, you piece of. Like, just. I don't know. So the waiter was near, heard this, obviously is mortified immediately. And everyone's like, hey, can you get this woman out of here? I think they try to go and intervene, and she, like, doesn't want to get up. She doesn't want to get up. So the waiter was just kind of like, okay, maybe we, like, we'll just move you guys.
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Ryan Seacrest
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Jessica
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Drew
Trying to like keep it chill. Nobody's fussing with her at this point. But I, yeah, she just like went to the table and started calling people bitches and like, and wankers and like nobody's gonna ask me anything. You're all pieces of shit. Who fucking raised you? Like literally just because she sat in someone else's seat. And then, yeah, that was my interaction with her. And then after we found out.
Jessica
Did you see her in the hotel at all after?
Drew
No, I didn't see her after, which makes me so sad. But before this, one of the people we were with this girl Daisy. Dude, she said she had gone to the bathroom and she had seen this woman because like there weren't that many people at the hotel. It was like later in the night on like a Thursday or some shit. So she was like, I had seen her at a table with her friend and when I went to the bathroom, I'd seen her earlier and when I went to the bathroom, her friend was in the bathroom up with a like her boobs out and like her pants down and the door open, and kitty
Jessica
and bush was out.
Drew
Dude. Yes. Like, everything. Like, Wuthering Heights. Like, it's me. I'm Kathy. Come home. Like, the bush was out. It was crazy. And she said she was like, her, like, tits were out or like. Like, vagina was out? Like, every. She was just fully butt naked, and she just, like, had the door, but she's like, come here, love. Can you help me? And, like. And Daisy, like, went. Daisy and helped her and. Because she was just, like, mortified because she was like, hello. Because, mind you, this bathroom. It's. The bathroom isn't small. The bathroom is one of those, like, okay. Oh, there's not. You don't have enough space for all these people. But there's, like, a bunch of stalls, and this woman just has this huge, tall door open, butt naked, nasty. Like a Rick James super freak with her tits out. Like. So Daisy helps her and comes back to the table, and in that. Dude. It was a crazy transfer of powers because literally, I had gone to the bathroom because, like, I had timed it because Daisy was about to come back, and I was like, oh, my God. Like, okay, now I'll go now that somebody's broken the seal. But as that transition of her friend getting back to the table, like, oh, no, my God. No, it wasn't her friend. I think it was the woman. I think it was Jane. I can't remember, but it was either Jane or the friend. But one of those women, like, do
Jessica
you know her real name? Did you get her real.
Drew
No. No.
Jessica
So y' all didn't ask her any questions?
Drew
No. I mean. And yeah. And you know what? Rain, he is a. For, like, saving my seat. Like, girl, this is a, like, public seat.
Jessica
Like, wait, how many people can be in that bar?
Drew
It's one of. It's like, a bunch of different rooms. So as. Even as I was saying the bathroom thing, I was like, well, that's stupid, because, like, every hotel, random restaurant connected to it, and that's the bathroom that's, like, for that restaurant. But the specific room we were in
Jessica
was as big as this.
Drew
Yeah, I'm not kidding. I am not kidding, Drew. It's like, not. That whole room collectively is from here to the kitchen. Like, that much square foot of table space. Like, so you could have, like, maybe two small tables in here and then, like. Like a small table in the kitchen.
Jessica
So she was just terrorizing the whole time?
Drew
No, she literally was. Well, her friend left. Her friend wasn't staying there. She was staying there alone. So her friend, I guess, had to go home and she was just out on the town. Oh, and the other thing is, one of the guys I forgot who had had been told this, but one of the friends had gone out to smoke and these two random men literally saw her walk past and walking past us and goes, goes, be careful with that one. She's crazy. Like, they, they said something. So I, I'm so curious to know, like, what story she tr, like, damn.
Jessica
Wow. You need to talk about the doorman.
Drew
Oh, the, the smoking.
Jessica
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Drew
Oh, my God. I just, I love this hotel, bro. Like, damn. We asked the. Oh my God. Me scared to, like, do this. I'm like, I do illegal things, but I smoke a lot of weed and I do bring weed with me when I usually it gets cut down from like, woohoo free. Like, anytime I want to smoke, I can smoke to, like, okay, you get to smoke like once a day. And in like, pure fear and paranoia, like, how, how bad do you want it? I guess that bad. But we went out and we were about to leave to the airport, and this one of the door guys, I was like, oh, can I get your lighter?
Jessica
And he that watched y' all be tweakers all weekend. Oh, I know, which is so sick.
Drew
Like, dude, one of the nights I never had keys. Like, yeah, I just went to, like, London. You have my heart. Like, I just went and had, like, me jealous.
Jessica
Like, I'm normally scared to go to London, but, like, I'm regretting not going to London when we were in the UK last year.
Drew
Oh my God. I like, well, to be fair, Rain is just one of the greatest people of all time, and she has such a good gauge for people, and she's just, she knows, like, some of my favorite people I've ever met in my life. I've met in the past two years via rain. Or like past two, three years via rain. Because she's just like, she's so good at picking people to be in her life and like, vice versa. But yeah, I think because I went one time before that and it was literally the worst trip of my goddamn life. Oh my God. Oh my God. I mean, time and place, but damn. Also, the first night we had gone out and when we came back, I was, it was one of the travel days and I was just so deliriously drunk, and I guess I had an interaction where I told them I didn't have a key and I needed a key, which I never had a key. I, I, that's actually A really bad habit in hotels like, that I have. Like, I'm so bad at keeping my
Jessica
room key on my message. I remember my room key, like maybe, I mean, a decade ago, like the technology wasn't there yet. And every single room key I would get would deactivate just sitting next to like my debit cards. But I realized like a couple years into all of my keys deactivating all the time, it was the bottom of my jewel. Since it was magnetic, it would sit up against the key and with like the barcode and like demagnetize.
Drew
Well, now don't iPhones technically do that too because of like the mag safe, like, whatever.
Jessica
Maybe the technology has evolved, I don't know. But now, because they still. I only stay in hotels with skeleton
Drew
keys, I didn't have a key. The next morning I woke up and I guess I seemed up enough to them that when I went downstairs and leaving, they were like, oh my gosh, how are you feeling? Because it was like earlier and it wasn't like late in the day or anything, but they were like, oh, wow, you're up. Like, how are you feeling? And I was like, like, so good. And then they were like, you've got your key. And I was like, yes. And they're like, okay, well if you don't have it, just let us know. And I was like, no, I have it. Cuz I was just like, what the are you talking about?
Jessica
And you didn't have it.
Drew
Yeah, I. So I left. I go walking around, I'm like, just on my own. I think like, Rain had gone to see her. Her like, God family. So I'm like walking around alone, just chilling, feeling so awesome. Went and got myself a matcha. Just like walking around.
Jessica
Oh my go. So pick me. You're so pick me for drinking matcha. You're literally a pick me girl. That's so performative to drink.
Drew
Blank street too.
Jessica
Oh, no. I don't even know what that is.
Drew
It's like a huge franchise. But I don't go far.
Jessica
You're drinking your matcha, having a good
Drew
day, Having best day ever, and then suddenly I'm like, oh, I don't feel too good. I should go back to the hotel. I'm gonna get a car. Like, I'd been walking around a bunch and. And it was rainy and cold. Duh, dude. And I got in this car and I go to text Rain because I'm supposed to meet her up with her for food. And I was just like, oh, I'm gonna throw up. And I just literally put my phone.
Jessica
Did you throw up?
Drew
I put my phone down and I just, like.
Jessica
Like, in the car.
Drew
Sit in the car. I. I'm just sitting. I'm like, who? Who? Okay, like, breathe, breathe, breathe.
Jessica
Something about a car brings the vomit out of the body anytime ever been.
Drew
Because it's unnatural. We shouldn't be in car.
Jessica
We should be on horseback. We should be in carriage. Because the cars, the turns. Like, I will be the most sober I've ever felt in my entire life. The second I get into the back of a goddamn Uber. It, like, boils my guts or something.
Drew
And I just know what astronauts have to do the velocity test before they go.
Jessica
No, literally. It's literally cursed. It's like I get the most nauseous, vomity I've ever felt. Felt in my life. Like, off two shots. Wait, nada. What day was that?
Drew
That was 8:00am on Friday.
Jessica
Oh, no, mine was on Sunday.
Drew
But I like, whatever. So I get to the hotel and I'm like, oh, my. Oh, my God. Like, I, I, I'm about to throw up, but then it kind of passes like you're saying the car brings out the devil, and then being on your feet brings out the humanity in you. And then I, I go and I like, but I am overheating. Like, I'm fully, like, ripping my coat off as I'm walking through the lobby. I'm walking fast as, digging through my purse. Like, I still have this matcha in my hand. And I'm just like, oh, my God, I'm gonna freak out. I need to rip all my clothes off because I don't think I'm gonna throw up anymore, but I am gonna.
Jessica
Okay.
Drew
Like, I'm just freaking the. Oh, no. I literally was feeling like Jane as. Like, I kind of was getting my. I was getting my back to her, like, okay, Jane. So I go to get in the hotel, and it's one of those hotels you have to use your key to get to your floor. So I go. And I go in my bag, and that hotel puts them in these little, like, cute wallet things. And I had the wallet, which I didn't lie when I said I had my key and I had the wallet. And I go to open it, and there's no key in it. And I was just like, oh, my God. And mind you, I'm already, like, bloodshot red, like, so overheating I'm about to die. And I go up and I was like. Like, I actually don't have my key. And, like, they can tell that I like, dude, I went from looking like, oh, my God, you were that up and you're chilling to like, they're like, oh, it just serious. And then I'm barely speaking. I was like, yeah, I thought. And then they give me my key. I somehow make it up to my room. And literally in the room, rain still hadn't gotten back. There was just a trail of, like, my coat, my purse, like, the matcha on a table, the key, and, like, something else. And I went and I. I tr.
Jessica
I was really scary for you.
Drew
Yeah, it was really sad.
Jessica
But ever since Lexapro, I feel like you're not as scared of.
Drew
Yeah, no, my Prozac literally did. Yeah, I think, like, a huge, like. Well, because I think a part of my OCD was my fear. I thought I would die. I always thought I was gonna choke
Jessica
and die for the first time in my life. Like, baby, I love throwing up. Someone out there gets it. Like, I like, yeah, throwing up when I'm nauseous.
Drew
Well, I was. Before my Prozac, I was really jealous of the fact that like. Like, people weren't that terrified of that act because I. I under. I can understand. And now post Prozac, I'm like, oh, yeah, that is such an immediate fix. It's way worse to be trapped in the fucking hellscape that is being convinced I will die if I throw up.
Jessica
No, literally. So I, like, was kind of excited to throw up. I wasn't, like, terrified when I threw up, mind you. I had, like, a shot and a High Noon, and I think it was the High Noon because it was the first time I ever had a high. No, but it was good as. It was like tea. It was Yummersville. Like, it was Yummerstown when I see two fingers touching. Love story. But it was.
Drew
Wait, why didn't we get that part? Why didn't we get those parts?
Jessica
Well, it's because you were in London.
Drew
Is that her name?
Jessica
Yeah.
Drew
Oh, yeah.
Jessica
We were in London and I was in New York and they were filming in Toronto and it was, like, really difficult for us to get there because the snowstorms and covet and stuff and Covid. Period. Like, we were supposed to be JFK and Carolyn beside. But I'm, like, about to throw up. I take a bite of food and I'm like, fudge, I'm going to actually throw. This is so annoying. Go to throw up, bitch. I was so scared when I was throwing up. I have never thrown up that violent in my life. I was so humiliated because, like, And I like every once in a while like could literally feel the veins on my neck and in my temples like bulging out like at least half of an inch. And I was so scared to look at myself in the mirror after being. Because vomit was coming out of my nose and my eyes hurt so bad and I. It felt like when I did the bungee jumping thing. Insert that clip. When I like literally like my eyes almost exploded out of my head.
Drew
Did like make my eyes feel crazy. I like I took a crazy nap after that.
Jessica
Like, I mean I knocked the out too him. But I look in the mirror, everything's fine.
Drew
Everything's fine.
Jessica
I look in the mirror, everything's fine. But my vomit is a color I've never seen before. I think I invented a new color. Like you know when you're like try to imagine a new color. It's literally impossible.
Drew
I did a new color. I imagine like Orion's infamous Tumblr shots of the oil spills.
Jessica
Literally. It was neon green. It was from a salad I ate earlier in the day. Undigested. But salad tossing this palette really in
Drew
front of my salad.
Jessica
Yes. Yes. Oh my God. It was so good. Throwing up.
Drew
Yeah. Sorry for anybody who's. What is it? Emetophobic.
Jessica
There's a word for iteraphobia. Etymophobia.
Drew
Sorry for anybody who is scared of hearing or thinking about that. We just eradicated your life. Yeah. Period.
Jessica
It's over.
Drew
Please trigger warning.
Jessica
Why did eat Max and Helen's finally I finally got it. And you mind? You know, look at how much food I ate. I ate almost all of that.
Drew
So good right now. Wait, maybe we should go do that
Jessica
Friday or at 4pm on Sunday. I like it was. It was insane.
Drew
That's amazing. There's really nothing after throwing up. Who? Tyrell?
Jessica
Jimmy Kimmel. Oh, Jimmy Kimmel trade. Like he was trading and he walked past and I looked at him and we made eye contact and I was like of all of the late night show host like he's the hottest to me. But.
Narrator/Host
But when only.
Drew
That's crazy girl.
Jessica
Let me finish.
Enya
Let me finish. Seth Meyers.
Jessica
No. He's so cute. Jimmy Kimmel's so cute. But it was when I was like first like figuring out my sexuality and I was on like the family computer watching Jimmy Kimmel clips.
Enya
What would you decide on?
Jessica
Straight.
Enya
Okay.
Jessica
Nice. Yeah. Because it is a choice after all. But I just remember thinking he was cute. But I think that's where my infatuation with beards came from. Jimmy Kimmel.
Enya
Really? Well, that's like kind of like a new thing, right?
Drew
Yeah.
Enya
I feel like he did the beard thing over.
Jessica
No, he's always had the beard. I'm about to get skinny.
Drew
You know what's crazy is Harry Styles almost got away with sneaking off to Turkey. But then you want to come back and get on that stage, you talk about, let's all dance. Why are all the boy pop stars. I put that in quotes. Why are all the boys trying to bring back dance? Because Tyler the creator was doing the same thing. Like, oh, nobody dances anymore. Not true. Because you go to a doja concert. Concert. A Dua Lipa concert. Anywhere else, the girls are dancing. I would argue, actually, everybody was dancing to Harry Styles. So why are you like. I. I just. For some reason the other day that
Jessica
made me so mad. I. Okay.
Drew
People dance. It's y' all who. It's the people who are like, nobody dances anymore.
Jessica
People dance.
Drew
That's funny. You bag of bones. Raggedy ass.
Jessica
Who.
Drew
I've never seen you move.
Jessica
We were saying that for a while
Drew
that nobody dances well, but we've infamously always done too much.
Jessica
We.
Drew
We don't have the most, like, oh, hell no. They come to the corner, stand in the. They come to the party and stand in the corner. Ass vibe.
Jessica
So, yeah, no, we. We do.
Enya
I was watching this artist role model dance, and I just loved it. I just loved it.
Jessica
I was. I was talking. I was thinking what Tucker or what I was thinking was role model. What he should do is. You know how he has that Sally song. I think he should bring me on stage and do Jessica, make it special just for me, and make up a whole song called Jessica. That's a good idea. I said it to him yesterday on
Enya
the phone, but he got a. Yesterday. He was also, like, I was just on the phone with him, or I was on FaceTime with him, and then Drew just kept on saying, like, look at my ass. Look how much bigger it's gotten.
Jessica
No, you were.
Enya
He. No, no, no. He was pulling his pants up. He was pulling his shirt. He was, like, cinching his waist.
Jessica
And then also, Kai was zooming in on my crotch. And so I started working.
Enya
That's that.
Jessica
And I. I did get a compliment, said, nice print from.
Drew
You know what? God bless, because y'. All, like, I have complimented it before, but I guess y' all do have the kind of relationship I think, like, men need to have.
Jessica
Yeah. No, it's not that.
Drew
It's made.
Jessica
We haven't seen each other, either of
Drew
you, much more normal. In really any sense, though, so I still don't know if the male loneliness. I don't know if solving that is going to solve.
Enya
No, we fixed it. Me and Drew fixed it. I throw these photos. I'm going to throw these photos up of your ass. That. The photos that he was so proud.
Jessica
I'm really proud of, and I'm gonna throw this photo up. Yeah, let's do that.
Drew
What photo?
Jessica
I'm gonna throw this photo up. Let me show you. Did I put this photo up?
Drew
I look for Drew. Who is that woman? Were you hanging out with her?
Jessica
She. I didn't know she was laying in the.
Drew
When you said that, I was so confused. I was like, bro, you're like. You popping your stomach out and, like, arching like this.
Enya
Is that the one at the gym? Yeah.
Jessica
Well, I didn't know she was laying
Drew
there all up in her fuck.
Jessica
But she was laughing. She. I was tweaking on that sunbed. But look how tan I am now.
Drew
Dude, I had the funniest, like, the last night I was in London. Like, seriously, like, the London look. Remember how much I was talking about London the past two times I've ever spoken about it? I. For real, like, I'm so flip floppy. Yeah. I'm a hater.
Jessica
Okay. Oh, sorry.
Enya
Oh, my God, you do not.
Drew
No, actually, I have been talking the whole time. I feel so bad. I'm like, I'm so tired.
Enya
It doesn't matter how long she talks. You never. It is ever cut out of. Cut off a female podcast.
Drew
Just. Just stop where you are, bro.
Enya
Like, please interrupt a female podcaster.
Drew
I wish I had a taser.
Jessica
I have one in my face.
Enya
I'm just telling Drew something right now.
Jessica
You said female, and yeah, a man's talking. So when a man is talking.
Enya
Just one second. I'm defending you. Just one second, because you need to be defended.
Jessica
Wait, but I found a taser in my car.
Drew
Wait, really?
Jessica
Yes. So we have a taser, but it's not a stun gun. It's a taser.
Drew
Can I tase you?
Enya
Yeah, after this, we can record it and put it in the podcast.
Jessica
Yeah, I'll let you tase me.
Drew
Oh, my God. I would feel so bad for, like, a split second, but that would make me laugh so hard.
Jessica
Like, yeah, I'll let. We can tase each other.
Enya
I would probably.
Jessica
No one tase me. Please come and tase me.
Drew
No.
Enya
Please no.
Jessica
Tase me.
Enya
We will.
Jessica
I swear I'll freak out if you tase me.
Enya
We will not. Can we put down towels before. Anyway. Drew, could you give me the vape?
Jessica
Yeah, after I finish this thought.
Enya
Of course.
Jessica
Immediately. Medium means nothing now in clothing.
Enya
Oh. Oh, yeah.
Jessica
Like, Kanye ruined clothing. A medium could mean extra large. Like, oversized clothing. Like, I could get a medium and it fit me like a dress.
Drew
Wait, wait. Actually, dead ass. Dead ass. That's dead serious question. Wait, dead serious question. Would you ever go to a thrift store and wear clothes? Because what if the clothes. Or like, the person. The last person to wear it. Like, what if it's dead people clothes? He's like. He's like, oh, hell no.
Jessica
Oh, hell no.
Drew
Really? What if the clothes are good?
Jessica
Oh, hell no.
Drew
Yeah, true, true.
Jessica
So, okay, riddle me this. So you go to a thrift store, you buy a vase, you find out it's an urn.
Drew
Hmm. Are you keeping it low key? I don't know.
Jessica
Okay,
Enya
I'm gonna show people this. And when they say emergency intercom fell off. Oh, yeah. Really? Here, here's evidence. We have it.
Jessica
We have the evidence. Wait, let's keep going. This is fun, girl.
Drew
Wait, this is the last story, but I really think you'll like it. I swear, it's way funnier than the other ones. And the funniest question is, again, I need to not be like, jet lagged and drinking after walking like 10k mat, like steps a day. But we go to this, like, members only club or some, like, London. Every other place was like, oh, it was a crazy line to get in. Oh, you've got to be a member. Or it's like the longest. Like, like, it's just crazy. Like, girl, it is not that serious. But also, God bless, because I guess the US
Jessica
at least they're not getting shot in the club.
Drew
That's what I'm saying. Like, that maybe they are getting. Maybe that's why so many of them are out.
Jessica
They're getting stabbed.
Drew
But like, oh. Oh, my God. I actually had a dream that somebody I knew was stabbed.
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Drew
So good.
Jessica
Your bill, ladies. I got it.
Drew
No, I got it. Seriously, I insist. I insisted first. Don't be silly. You don't be silly.
Narrator/Host
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Jessica
credit card prefer to pay because they
Ryan Seacrest
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Drew
Okay. Rock, paper, scissors for it. Rock, paper, scissors. Shoot. No.
Narrator/Host
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Drew
Visit wells fargo.com ActiveCash Terms apply.
Jessica
Was it me?
Drew
I don't remember. But they were stabbed right here. And then like, I went to go help them, and when they got down from where they were, they had a stab wound down here. And I was like, oh, we actually need like, oh my God, I'm like remembering my whole dream right now.
Jessica
Wait, Whoa. That reminded me. Me and Kai shared a bed together, which, like, not weird at all. But he decided to showered one after.
Drew
Who showered first? Like, I actually need details.
Jessica
He offered for me to shower first and I was like, baby, it's your shower. You shower first. I will say I used almost every product in that shower.
Enya
Really?
Jessica
Yeah. I was like, I don't know, like, whose is who? So I'm just gonna like, make it even and use a little bit of everything. I think I made mustard gas. I did use the ASAP body scrub. I'm sorry, I'm assuming that's your roommates.
Enya
It's my roommate's girlfriends.
Jessica
Yeah. Yeah, I'm sorry, but I didn't use a lot, but I had. I had peeling skin from my sunburn. Y', all, I've been perpetually scrolling on
Drew
your Tick Tock feed and finding out some random twink was in your bathroom in the middle of the night.
Ryan Seacrest
Ah,
Drew
I'm not kidding. I kind of ran away, cuz you scared the out of me.
Jessica
It kind of scared me.
Drew
So as it came out. You know what? I can't lie. I did have like a passing thought. I was like, ah, I should say otter. But twink is just way.
Jessica
I'm more of a twink than an otter. I'm a third otter.
Drew
No, I really. Yeah, no, actually, no, I would. To me, you're not twink, like at all. But we've had that discussion you were
Enya
talking about when we were in bed.
Jessica
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So like we told the shower first.
Enya
Yeah. While he ordered food.
Jessica
But we get in bed, we kiki kai kai. I mean, we do kai kai a little bit. It's crazy. We're like rustling and tussling in there.
Enya
I'm sure you kept teasing me.
Jessica
Yeah, well, that's like.
Enya
And oh my God, when I was tickling you and.
Jessica
And I got hard. I'm sorry, it's just. I have a tickle king. What can I say? I like getting tickled and you activated me.
Enya
Can I just say I sat on it and I came immediately.
Jessica
Immediately. Your legs were shaking within 0.5 seconds. But we go to sleep, we fall asleep. We have trouble falling asleep.
Drew
Has this actually happened or no?
Jessica
Yeah. Yes, we fall asleep, we have trouble falling asleep.
Drew
So y' all get to pillow talk.
Jessica
Kai puts on a David Foster Wallace audio to put us to sleep. And it was honestly really fascinating and it was very parallel to the experience we're having just in general. And it was, it was really powerful. It did lull me to sleep. And I did think the next day I was like, I need to get the title of that essay's book because it's really good. Anyways, Kai failed to tell me for like, the past, like, week that in the morning I was asleep and I had pulled the covers over my head and was giggling in my sleep.
Enya
Yes. He got the duvet off, put the sheet over his head and was giggling to himself.
Drew
That makes me so.
Jessica
I don't remember it.
Drew
Well, Rain said the opposite about me and London. The first night I fell asleep, I
Jessica
don't know how, walked into the hotel
Drew
room, pulled my skirt off, took my boots off, fell face first onto the couch, which is actually how I think I got this bruise. Oh, I definitely fell on the arm.
Jessica
Can I poke it? Does it hurt?
Drew
No, not really.
Jessica
But is it like the good kind of hurt?
Drew
Yeah.
Jessica
Oh, God. I want a bruise. Give me a bruise. Give me a bruise.
Drew
No, hit me. Hit me.
Jessica
Hit me. Hit me harder.
Drew
What was he saying? Oh, yeah, I. I knocked out. And she said that I was one snoring, loud, not new news to anybody. And I was crying and screaming. In my sleep, like I was like. And then the next night when I had fallen asleep next to her, the same thing. Like. And I do remember like she was like enya, like in the middle of the night and it woke me up and I was like fully turned to the side and I was like kicking her and she said that I like woke her up because I was like kicking and like whimpering in my sleep. But I don't remember what I was dreaming about. So not my business.
Jessica
I've been, I have been sleep talking a lot apparently. Cuz this morning next to Josiah, it was probably like 9am and Josiah was like awake already. And I just like look at him. And he said. And I go, why? And then he was like, what? And I was like, what did I say? Something about, I mean it doesn't matter. But I was like, why are you. It doesn't matter. But I was literally. I don't remember doing it.
Enya
Do you remember in Florida when I woke up and you had like. Both of your hands were on my wrists, like pushing my hands down. You were straddling me in the. It's so random. You like sometimes you're just.
Jessica
Were we sharing a bed in Florida?
Enya
Yeah, we're on the top bunk period.
Jessica
Because we were top bunk with that answer.
Drew
Yeah, we were on the top. Bron guy usually like slept next to the wall.
Jessica
Yeah. Wait, who took the wall? I took the wall.
Drew
You? I take the wall. You are such a wall. I love the wall.
Jessica
I love the wall. Anytime I'm sleeping anywhere, I have to be be the closest to the wall. I can't have more than like a foot of open air. Like especially in a hotel.
Drew
Mine is so like. I think I like to be closer to the bathroom than the window because I like to keep windows open so if I'm further from the window, it's less likelihood of someone seeing me naked.
Jessica
See? And I'm the exact opposite. So that's why we work.
Drew
I know. You are a freaky dick, huh?
Jessica
I. I literally love when people see me naked. I'm very voyeuristic. What can I say?
Drew
We went to that one apartment showing and there was a guy fully butt naked, nasty showering that you could see from the street, from the sidewalk. You, me and Josh saw. Saw him. It was like that apartment right off of Olympic, like before you hit Century City area, like at all. It was like a really gorgeous apartment. We wanted it so bad. It was way too expensive for us at the time. Time, like weird. One floor, it was on the second Floor, I think. Oh, my God. I can't believe you've forgotten this. I can't believe you've done this.
Jessica
I can't believe you've done this. My. My memory has gone. Babes is gone. It's. It's. It's over for me.
Drew
I really hope I don't jinx myself, but despite my insane consumption of weed, I just. I just can't forget.
Jessica
I just can't stop coming.
Drew
I just can't forget.
Jessica
Okay, so probably about eight years ago, seven years ago, me and Josiah had a very public beef online. Yeah. He was paint the city pink. I was paint the city green. I thought we should paint the city green. Tell me why. Seven years later, Charli XCX Brat stole my whole concept. Paint the city green.
Drew
Oh, my God.
Jessica
Go back. There's a. A bunch of footage of me saying,
Drew
this fruit looks familiar.
Jessica
This fruit.
Drew
Everybody. Everybody wants a this fruit looks familiar moment. That's what you're giving, right?
Jessica
Yeah. And she. So she painted the city green. Brat green. But I'm sorry. I did it first.
Drew
You're actually so nice for not saying you, like, you let her have that moment.
Jessica
I know.
Drew
You let her have the moment.
Jessica
The moment. Yeah. It's all about the moment.
Drew
Did you give that to her too?
Jessica
I can't confirm nor deny that, but let's just say I did.
Drew
It's fucked up when you find that kind of shit out.
Jessica
I know. And the craziest part is I just didn't get any recognition on the movie or even in the credits.
Drew
But there is something so beautiful about the fact that you really are just this genuine person who, to make art in general and to inspire is what keeps you going.
Jessica
Yeah. I love it.
Drew
So you don't care?
Jessica
I would rather someone create with my idea that I gave them for free than for the idea to not even come to fruition.
Drew
Yeah. Cause you have so many ideas that it's like, listen, paint the town green. Like that. That was. That was.
Jessica
That was a masterpiece.
Drew
That was. Yeah, it was. And it was easy for you, though, because it's. It's.
Jessica
And there's plenty more where that came from.
Drew
I can't believe when you were dating a skeleton and you, like, kept it
Jessica
in like, damn it, Rooney. I got Rooney pregnant. I had a child.
Drew
Wait, wasn't Josie pregnant in one of his videos? Like his first YouTube video?
Jessica
I still want to do the idea where I get one of those pregnancy bellies and, like, over 36 weeks, or however long your pregnancy is. I grow and grow and grow and don't say a word.
Enya
I feel like if I got pregnant, like I would. I would barely show. Like it would be like is.
Jessica
Hey, you already show. It's already showing.
Drew
You're the first person with a cryptic pregnancy that we can all see. And it's only cryptic to you, baby. We all see that.
Jessica
It's pregnancy blindness, baby. You know, eyebrow blindness.
Drew
It happens to the best of us.
Jessica
There's belly blindness.
Drew
Oh my God. I know. They could figure out at home miscarriages and like plan B, like planned parenthood and they just won't give it to us.
Jessica
Same with cancer.
Drew
I know there's a way to do that at home.
Jessica
Well, the hanger.
Drew
I can't. But that's what I'm saying. I'm like, ho. If there was a DIY way before Google, I know you could 3D print. Let's get. Let's get women on blender and figure that out. A device to give yourself an at home abortion.
Jessica
Kai being the women. Cuz that's like a man's job to abort children.
Enya
Yeah, yeah. Honestly. Yeah. That's giving male. Male occupation.
Drew
You giving sadness are very weird people.
Jessica
Y' all know that dandelion crown girl?
Enya
No. What?
Jessica
The girl on Tik Tok that collected like the defunct crayon color dandelion. She like made it her life mission to collect as many of these like crayons that were retired. Yeah, well, she single handedly brought that crayon back. Her and her alone and unironically. I was. Was so emotional when I saw they brought it back because I was like, wow, one person really can change the world. Like one person can change a lot. Like if you really just like stick it and do it. Like it was a really powerful moment for me. Stick it and do it.
Drew
Oh my God. I need. We need to re watch Stick It.
Jessica
I know. Oh yeah, we do. Should we put it on the TV and you nap?
Drew
Yeah. But I was thinking there's something else I wanted to watch. I forgot.
Jessica
I didn't really talk about San Diego, but I went to San Diego last weekend.
Drew
I'm so jealous. Was that fun?
Jessica
It was so fun. I laid by the pool like all two days. Got the most sunburn you've ever been. I. I literally can put up with a sunburn if it means I'm gonna look tan after. And I don't care. I literally don't give a if it gives me cancer because like the world is actively ending. I'm like, girl, like what I'm Gonna get cancer when I'm 40. When I'm eating soy cub out of human flesh. Like, I literally don't care.
Drew
But not my, that's not my future. Y' all could have that, but y'
Narrator/Host
all can have it.
Jessica
Boys have it.
Drew
The girls, I'm like, literally, y' all can take that, cuz that's not my future, baby.
Jessica
Yes. It was really magical. I love that hotel. It was really fun. Randomly, almost every single worker there knew who I was and got got me up. They, they served me, they served me so much alcohol and I was like day drunk all day long. I was drunk at night to the point where like I was falling asleep at like midnight. Like it was crazy. It was crazy.
Drew
You passing out like, like two or
Jessica
three naps a day.
Drew
Damn.
Jessica
No one, no one can nap like me.
Drew
And I know you, you nap.
Jessica
I love, love a nap. Bolt down.
Drew
Well, I'm just scared. Like I, I don't even know if I'm going to nap because if I sleep.
Jessica
Yeah, one thing about an Indian nap is it is 12 hours long and she disappears. And you think she left the house, but she's just up there snoring. Girl, we could hear you snoring from your room to my room last night.
Drew
Well, I could hear y' all starting your ass singing lesson tik toks while I was sleeping. Mind you, I'm jet lagged. I wanted to go to sleep an hour and 30 minutes earlier cuz I passing out. And I stayed up to hang out with y' all because I love y' all so much. And y' all did what you did last time when you were like, no, no, let's play one more game. And then I end up saying, and I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it. But the fact I my split second, I probably snort so loud because yeah, actually I do have a few podcast episodes to be snoring this loud about because I hear y' all from upstairs. Literally the second I was falling into rem, I just hear Ariana, like, what's the, no, what's the first song y' all were singing? Before this, before the tick tock even came out, y' all were singing.
Jessica
I forget, like, dude, I woke up
Drew
to those tick tocks and I was like, honestly, respect. Like I'm happy I get to watch it like this. But falling asleep to it, I, I. There was a split second where I had a rage in my body.
Jessica
Oh my God, wait. Somber Jacking that from us. Remember, remember, remember the viral TikTok audio. It says, if you were like in a room full of people you didn't know, like, who's the first person you look for? And I go, you, obviously fucking you. Somber. Eight months later, in a room full
Drew
of people, I look for you, I look for Drew.
Jessica
I mean, we are commanders of culture in a way that people like, will maybe understand in 20, 25 years.
Drew
If I had a gun to the back of my head and somebody was like, draw somebody that's recognizable right now with this pen that like the ink is about to go out. I draw Somber because you would just do a little stick figure and then like hair or something.
Jessica
And it's like, it looks just like him.
Enya
Do you guys think you could draw me from memory? Yeah, easily, right? No, I feel like I couldn't even draw me from memory.
Jessica
I could draw you from memory. It would just look like a pot.
Enya
Dude, what the hell?
Jessica
I am still obsessed with Love Story. The shirt I'm wearing right now is inspired by love story. JFK Jr was wearing it in one of the scenes and I immediately looked it up and I bought two of them so no one else can buy them. And it is hyper color. So Love Story is awesome. I love what's her name? Sarah Pigeon. Why'd you look up my skirt?
Enya
No, your shoulders look really wide. I'm serious.
Drew
That doesn't explain why you were looking up his skirt. Cuz your eyes weren't actually.
Enya
Well, you have to see the ratio from of waist to shoulder.
Jessica
And if I pull this shirt in like it. Oh my God.
Enya
I didn't even know. I didn't even know.
Jessica
It's like a true triangle. But Sarah Pigeon, we literally watched a star be born with this goddamn show. She is an actress, she is a star. She is gorgeous, she is stunning. But whoever did her roots for the Loewe show does not have her best interests at hand. That was evil. It was evil. You know, Judy Jupiter, maybe it's like,
Drew
because isn't what's her name Caroline Bassett? Isn't her hair extremely blonde? I wonder if it was done intentionally to like completely separate her so that she wouldn't have like that as an actress. Because I feel like a show that big, me trying to like rationale something I haven't seen. I've probably seen be like.
Jessica
No, it's like, do you remember when I had that, like intentionally like golden hair? It was like that, but not even. It was like, burn, Burned. Hold on, let me find it.
Drew
They burned her.
Jessica
But Love Story is my media. I haven't finished Beauty. I've watched something else recently where media
Drew
is do you think about me? By 50 Cent, which is crazy, because 50 Cent just got jumped by an elementary school, essentially by TI and Tiny's all of their kids, because he loves to talk about random women. But despite that, this song is kind of how I feel. I feel like a man when I listen to that song. And, like, I feel like an evil man.
Jessica
You look like a man too.
Drew
Good. I am the man. Wait, she's the man.
Jessica
She is the man.
Drew
I've never seen that.
Jessica
Should we watch that?
Drew
I'd be down. I've never seen it.
Jessica
And then the song is, oh, my God. Neo, Pero, Secret Society and Alice. And then you've done it this time. Snowstorm Rippers. Why did no one tell me about that song?
Drew
I don't know that song.
Jessica
It's so good, baby.
Drew
I can't tell you about it if I don't know it.
Jessica
But that's my media.
Drew
Mine. I'm trying to think of any other music Fancy. By the Dream.
Jessica
Phantom Thread. By the Dream.
Drew
Oh, my God. Yamaha. Fast. Like the remix one.
Jessica
Yamaha.
Drew
Yamaha. Okay. Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye.
Jessica
W.
Ryan Seacrest
Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest. For Albertsons and Safeway. It is. Stock up. Savings time now through March 31st. Spring in for store deals and earn four times the points. Look for in store tax to earn on eligible items from Smart Water, Healthy Choice, Continel, arrowhead, Red Bull, St James, Tillamook and Special K. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event savings. Stack up those rewards to save even more. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in store or online for easy drive up and go, pickup or delivery restrictions apply. See website for full terms and conditions. I'm U.S. transportation Secretary Sean Duffy. We all seem to be in a rush these days, from work to driving our kids around. But when you're behind the wheel, please do not speed. A few minutes saved by going faster
Jessica
is never worth the risk. So follow the speed limit, enjoy the drive, maybe bring some snacks for the kids. And know that along the way, you're
Ryan Seacrest
getting quality time with your family, paid for by nhtsa.
Narrator/Host
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Ryan Seacrest
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Narrator/Host
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Ryan Seacrest
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Narrator/Host
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Drew
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Podcast: Emergency Intercom
Hosts: Enya Umanzor & Drew Phillips (with recurring guests Jessica and Kai)
Main Theme: Adventures in London, Queer Raves, Unfiltered Friendship, and Absurdity Abroad
In this lively, freewheeling episode, the Emergency Intercom crew delivers their signature chaotic storytelling—this time focused on Drew’s recent trip to Paris and London, International Women’s Day, their wild experiences at a gay "yaoi" rave, and classic tales of night-long delirium among friends. The conversation cascades from hilarious travel mishaps and cringe-worthy hotel run-ins to musings on queerness, bodily functions, sleep habits, and pop culture. At its core, this episode radiates the show’s authentic chemistry and fearless oversharing, making the listener feel like a friend along for the absurd ride.
This episode is quintessential Emergency Intercom: candid, brash, gleefully overshared, and teeming with unfiltered love for each other and their audience. Through stories of travel mishaps, queer spaces, bodily chaos, and playful self-mythologizing, the group demonstrates how genuine friendship can make even the weirdest nights unforgettable. Listen for the wild anecdotes, stay for the relentless wit—and maybe take notes next time you end up at a yaoi rave in London.
For Media/Quotes, see sections and references above for direct attributions and timestamps.