Things are changing

Summary

Podcast Summary: Emergency Intercom – Episode: "Things Are Changing"

Release Date: March 28, 2025
Host/Authors: Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips
Description: Emergency Intercom is a comedy podcast where Enya and Drew navigate through humorous and relatable life situations with sharp wit and candid conversations.

---

1. Welcome Back and Setting the Scene

[01:38] Josiah:
"Was it moving?"

[01:40] Drew Phillips:
"Oh, my God. We're back. Hi, guys. Welcome back to Emergency."

Drew and Josiah kick off the episode with a lively exchange, setting a casual and humorous tone. They discuss their feelings of returning to the podcast after a break, highlighting the comfort and familiarity they share with each other.

Notable Quote:
[02:02] Josiah:
"No, it feels like I'm sitting on the edge of the bed with my purse before a hookup. Clutching my purse. Yeah. Literally."

---

2. Mental Health and Coping Strategies

The hosts delve into their mental well-being, sharing personal insights and coping mechanisms they've adopted during their hiatus.

[02:32] Drew Phillips:
"I actually am in, like, a good. I'm in a better mental state right now than I was like."

[02:40] Josiah:
"You are?"

[02:48] Drew Phillips:
"Well, no. Okay. Like, that must stop. That, like, that was a problem during the break because I was like, well, like, I'm going to do shit. I guess I'll smoke."

They candidly discuss the use of substances like marijuana and alcohol as temporary fixes for anxiety and the challenges they face in maintaining their mental health without relying on these coping mechanisms.

Notable Quote:
[02:37] Josiah:
"I can't tell if it's your Lexapro, Prozac. I can't tell if it's your Prozac. Or that you're smoking weed all day, every day."

---

3. Hilarious Airport Encounter

A standout moment of the episode is the recounting of a bizarre and humorous incident Josiah experienced at the airport, involving unexpected interactions in the bathroom.

[06:23] Josiah:
"So, I go into the stall because I was going to. I was going to investigate because I was like, what is going down here?"

[10:25] Drew Phillips:
"Dick and balls included?"

[11:19] Josiah:
"Yeah, so I'm standing there waiting so they can see me. So I can see them. The guy that I caught walks out. Oh, no, no, no."

Josiah narrates an awkward and funny encounter with a man in the airport bathroom, blending humor with a touch of social commentary on public behavior and personal boundaries.

Notable Quote:
[09:13] Josiah:
"It's the opposite of a sensory deprivation tank. If you want the opposite of a sensory deprivation tank, sit next to Enya in a stall."

---

4. Car Trouble and Community Spirit

Drew shares his frustrations with car troubles, emphasizing his commitment to maintaining a respectable vehicle despite repeated accidents.

[17:22] Drew Phillips:
"A lot of things. Well, someone hit my car today. Happened, actually."

[17:27] Josiah:
"Someone hit his car."

This segment highlights Drew's humorous take on continuous car mishaps, reflecting on responsibility and humor in the face of minor disasters.

Notable Quote:
[17:43] Josiah:
"And it exploded."

---

5. Personal Appearance and Insecurities

The conversation shifts to personal appearance, body image, and the insecurities that come with it. The hosts discuss their perceptions of themselves versus how others see them.

[04:05] Drew Phillips:
"I can't see myself doing that."

[05:01] Josiah:
"Like, normally they were, wait till I'm."

[05:27] Drew Phillips:
"Girl, if you dress up that body, then you're just, like, a body, and it's, like, boring."

They explore themes of self-acceptance, body positivity, and the sometimes conflicting feelings individuals have about their own appearance.

Notable Quote:
[05:22] Josiah:
"Also, I put this jacket on last second, because I was like, I'm gonna put this on. But I did not intend wearing it the whole time because I have three layers on, and it's already 96 degrees inside, and it's loud as fuck. But."

---

6. Travel Tales and Cultural Observations

Drew recounts his trip to Italy, sharing amusing and awkward moments that highlight cultural differences and personal mishaps abroad.

[23:12] Drew Phillips:
"Well, I was lucky enough to go to Italy with my friend Rain, and it was so fun."

[24:28] Josiah:
"You had a blast."

They discuss their experiences, including funny language barriers and unexpected interactions, painting a vivid picture of their adventures.

Notable Quote:
[24:24] Josiah:
"Like, something's wrong with me."

---

7. Pop Culture References and Critiques

The hosts engage in playful banter about various pop culture topics, including movies, celebrities, and social media trends.

[30:33] Josiah:
"Greta Thunberg fell off because. Seriously, what are you talking about?"

[33:44] Drew Phillips:
"Like, literally, like, why didn't Louisville use her?"

They provide humorous takes on public figures and media phenomena, blending satire with genuine opinions.

Notable Quote:
[36:00] Drake Phillips:
"Fighting where? Because I don't see her."

---

8. Personal Stories and Emotional Moments

Josiah opens up about a personal struggle, revealing a more vulnerable side amidst the comedic dialogue.

[47:32] Josiah:
"I got a hotel room for two days to crash out because I was like, dark, darkness, darkness, darkness. I didn't want to taint the energy of my new home with sadness."

[53:38] Josiah:
"Literally."

This segment adds depth to the episode, showcasing the hosts' ability to balance humor with heartfelt sharing.

Notable Quote:
[48:14] Josiah:
"I set myself up every time, bro."

---

9. Closing Remarks and Future Teasers

As the episode nears its end, Drew and Josiah tease upcoming topics and express their dedication to continuing the podcast, despite humorous hints at potential endings.

[61:34] Drew Phillips:
"Well, that's not true."

[62:37] Josiah:
"That's not true."

[63:16] Ryan Seacrest (Ad):
"Heads up: Audio cuts off, skipping the ad."

---

Key Takeaways and Insights

• Authenticity in Conversation: Drew and Josiah maintain an authentic and relatable dialogue, discussing personal issues alongside humorous anecdotes.

• Balancing Humor and Vulnerability: The hosts adeptly balance light-hearted banter with moments of genuine vulnerability, providing a well-rounded listening experience.

• Cultural and Social Commentary: Through their stories and critiques, they offer subtle commentary on societal norms and behaviors, enhancing the comedic effect.

• Engaging Storytelling: The episode is rich with storytelling, from awkward airport incidents to frustrating car troubles, keeping listeners engaged and entertained.

Overall, "Things Are Changing" showcases Emergency Intercom's signature blend of comedy and candid conversation, offering listeners both laughs and relatable content. The episode highlights the dynamic chemistry between Drew and Josiah, making it a memorable installment for both regulars and newcomers alike.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Josiah [02:02]:
  "We're so happy. We're so happy. We're so happy. We're so happy. We're so happy. So happy."

• Drew Phillips [03:18]:
  "I have a hard time recording myself, and I've been blessed enough to be doing a lot of, like, deals with companies I actually really love, and. But I'm scared of recording myself."

• Josiah [08:07]:
  "It's like, the average American has now been taught because of how much media we watch to, like, low key, be into voyeurism."

• Drew Phillips [12:06]:
  "Like, I don't see. I don't even take that into account. That's."

• Josiah [22:27]:
  "Don't be ignorant. You're ignorant."

• Drew Phillips [48:14]:
  "That's what I do."

These quotes encapsulate the humorous and candid essence of the podcast, reflecting the hosts' personalities and the episode's themes.

Transcript

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Drew Phillips]

I've never felt like this before. It's like, you just get me. I feel like my true self with you. Does that sound crazy? And it doesn't hurt that you're gorgeous. Okay, that's it. I'm taking you home with me. I mean, you can't find shoes this good just anywhere. Find a shoe for every you from brands you love, like Birkenstock, Nike, Adidas and more at your DSW store or dsw.com hoy. Oh.

[Josiah]

Hey, was that thing moving or what?

[Drew Phillips]

It was really shaking. It was shaking. So crazy chat.

[Josiah]

Was it moving?

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, my God. We're back. Hi, guys. Welcome back to emergency.

[Josiah]

Wow. Wow. Famously. Famously.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, my God. I feel like it really. It does feel like I'm at somebody's house who I used to hook up with a lot, and then I just, like, randomly got busy and stopped seeing. But now I'm, like, bored. So I'm back at their house.

[Josiah]

No, it feels like I'm sitting on the edge of the bed with my purse before a hookup. Clutching my purse. Yeah. Literally. There is an energy. There is an energy, but we'll break it.

[Drew Phillips]

We also haven't broken in this new space because we went on the break kind of right when we moved in because we just needed the time. And, boy, did I have a time. I genuinely am, like. I am so happy. I love my life. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy.

[Josiah]

We're so happy. We're so happy. We're so happy. We're so happy. We're so happy. So happy. We're so happy. I'm so happy.

[Drew Phillips]

I actually am in, like, a good. I'm in a better mental state right now than I was like.

[Josiah]

You are?

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. I am so much better.

[Josiah]

And I can't tell if it's your Lexapro, Prozac. I can't tell if it's your Prozac. Or that you're smoking weed all day, every day.

[Drew Phillips]

Well, no. Okay. Like, that must stop. That, like, that was a problem during the break because I was like, well, like, I'm going to do shit. I guess I'll smoke.

[Josiah]

Just.

[Drew Phillips]

I usually don't have anything to do, but what I have found is I've talked about this on my own YouTube channel, but I have a hard time recording myself, and I've been blessed enough to be doing a lot of, like, deals with companies I actually really love, and. But I'm scared of recording myself. So now I have to smoke to record myself, because that's the only way I can feel like a teenager, where I'm like, this is fun again.

[Josiah]

It's like me taking three shots before every time we record. I'm blackout. Every time. I mean, yeah, we've been recording. I'm blackout.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. And then I'm good for you.

[Josiah]

Exactly. I was drinking, like, probably, like, five shots a day during the break. Yeah. But yet, right after we record, I go and, like, down, like, a handle.

[Drew Phillips]

Favorite bar around the corner. It's walking distance, so I don't have to worry about anything.

[Josiah]

But damn. A lot has happened since we've gone. Like, a lot.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, I think a lot specifically in your life has changed and, like, happened. And, like, a lot has happened.

[Josiah]

I'm not going to talk about any of it. I'm sure y' all can guess, but.

[Drew Phillips]

I don't think anyone can guess because it's the last thing anyone would have ever.

[Josiah]

I know it's something that I famously am like, no, no, no, no. Never, never, never.

[Drew Phillips]

I can't see myself doing that.

[Josiah]

But something. Something has shifted. Something. Something has shifted. And it's probably Venus and Mercury in retrograde. But, like, I. I'm confident. Let's have that.

[Drew Phillips]

I know Drew, literally. Drew has had some. A breakthrough that has literally. So happy.

[Josiah]

You know what it is, is It.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It's.

[Josiah]

I didn't see comments about my appearance and how ugly I was for a month.

[Drew Phillips]

No, that's not just it. Because you finally got a fucking haircut, and I've been trying to force him to upkeep with his haircut. And it's almost like, if. Girl, if you dress up. Listen. I like to think of my body, like, just plain. Just me. Actually, this is a hard thing to talk about, because when I'm naked, I genuinely think I am, like, so hot, which is crazy. Me and Elsie were talking about it. I was like, what? We have the kind of delusion that in my head, I'm like, no, no, no. Just wait till you see it fully naked. Then you kind of get the picture.

[Josiah]

Like, normally they were, wait till I'm.

[Drew Phillips]

Fully naked and I am propped exactly how I would anticipate someone to see me, the way I pose in a mirror. Oh, you. You can't believe what you're.

[Josiah]

You can't believe what you tap into.

[Drew Phillips]

But if you don't dress up that body, then you're just, like, a body, and it's, like, boring. So you have to just put some pep into your step, because right now, you look so sexy.

[Josiah]

Also, I put this jacket on last second, because I was like, I'm gonna put this on. But I did not intend wearing it the whole time because I have three layers on, and it's already 96 degrees inside, and it's loud as fuck. But.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, this was my birthday gift to.

[Josiah]

Drew, this small little artist that, like, a lot of y' all probably wouldn't know about. Like, very small. Like Jack. Yeah, exactly.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. Okay.

[Josiah]

But I have a story that I want to mention right off RIP because we haven't talked about it in person at all, y' all. Oh, my God, So many. So many crazy things have happened to me, and thank God I wrote them all down. Okay, so I. Me and Inya went to Missouri together to see my grandma and my family out there, and it was really cute. And we played in the snow, and we, like, ran around, and it was. It was really cute. It was really wholesome energy. And then she went to Miami, but I road trip back to Texas. Road trip was chill. Nothing major happened. Like, whatever. When I'm leaving.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, my God, y' all.

[Josiah]

When I'm leaving, I'm at the airport in Texas, and the first thing I do when I get through TSA is I go directly, directly to the bathroom, and I'm like, all of the stalls are taken, which is surprising because I'm in Terminal D at American or at dfw.

[Drew Phillips]

Literally, the, like, it's. Which is random for the dfw Airport or Terminal D?

[Josiah]

Yeah. Like, if. You know, you know, it's like, it's a massive terminal. There's a billion bathrooms, but all of the stalls were full. And I, like, was gonna go into a stall, and then, like, I'm waiting there, waiting, and then a guy, very suspect, like, pops out of the stall, and I just go in right after him. And it was interesting to me because there was no toilet flush.

[Drew Phillips]

There was also Josiah's in the room because Kai left town because he doesn't take his job seriously.

[Josiah]

Yeah, he doesn't give a fuck about.

[Drew Phillips]

He doesn't give a fuck about you guys. So remember that, because remember that.

[Josiah]

He's got his own little thing.

[Drew Phillips]

We said we were gonna come back, and we're back.

[Josiah]

Kai, on the other hand, wants to go do other things.

[Drew Phillips]

Classic straight man behavior. Just wants to go out and run. Oh, you want to go run around and party while, like, literally we have a job. Mrs. And Mr. Home.

[Josiah]

Let's talk about this. This job is so important, this job that we. And difficult and very hard, and we do all of this heavy lifting and, like, the fact that, like, Kai would just sit back and, like, edit everything.

[Drew Phillips]

And post it and stuff. Like, seriously, you weren't even there for the struggle of making this art and, like, really being important.

[Josiah]

Important to, like, culture.

[Drew Phillips]

I'll say it.

[Josiah]

But anyways, I. I have. Where this habit was born of running straight to the bathroom, was vaping. I go into the toilet in the airport and hit my vape. And so when this guy came out of the stall that I was going into and didn't flush, I was like. I was sus. A thought popped in my head. I was like, that was weird. But he might have just been vaping. Been there, done that. So then I'm, like, chilling in the stall because I hang out in the bathroom. I know that's fucking weird. But, like, I chill in there.

[Drew Phillips]

I know there's not a lot of time, specifically in the airport bathrooms, which actually, after this story, genuinely has me thinking, because you go to the bathroom all the time in the airport. Like, most of the time when we're in the airport, we get there early, and Drew's in the bathroom the whole time, hitting his vape.

[Josiah]

Yeah. So then I'm, like, chilling in there, hanging out, doing my thing on my iPhone, playing my videos loud as. Because I literally don't care. Not shitting. I don't give a. I don't My.

[Drew Phillips]

Videos out loud, and I'll. I don't give a. Y' all are gonna smell it, hear it. Like, I'm gonn all your senses right now.

[Josiah]

It's the opposite of a sensory deprivation tank. If you want the opposite of a sensory deprivation tank, sit next to Enya in a stall.

[Drew Phillips]

Specifically in an airport bathroom.

[Josiah]

Yeah. So then we. I, like, do my thing. I go back to the gate for a second, and then the airplane's about to board, and I actually have to pee this time. So I'm like, oh, I'm gonna go back to the same Bathroom. And because you like. Yeah, the energy. The energy is nice.

[Drew Phillips]

There's every airport I frequent. There are specific bathrooms I like to go to. And that specifically Mia has the best airport bathrooms ever. Period. Okay, continue.

[Josiah]

So she. Or. So I head back to the same bathroom, head to the exact same stall I was in. And the door was unlocked. I pushed it open, y' all. And I see a man with his pants down to his ankle, up against the wall, like this. Pants down to his ankle, ass up against the wall. Dick and balls through the toilet paper dispenser. Dick and balls through the toilet paper.

[Drew Phillips]

Wait, balls included?

[Josiah]

Yes. Dick and balls.

[Drew Phillips]

All is crazy. Ew. You just saw his appendage. Like, where the skin meets the body. You met where the crease. You saw where the crease meets the.

[Josiah]

Didn't see his dick and balls, but I saw him leaned up against the toilet paper dispenser with his pants around his ankle. Immediately, I was like, gay man cruising. Duh. And then he, like, sees me, whips around, turns bright red. I've never seen someone turn that red in my entire life. Rips up his pants and, like, freaks out. And then I shut the door, and I am, like, cackling. Like, I am laughing so loud outside of the stall. And then I was like, oh, I'm waiting right here. There were other stalls available.

[Drew Phillips]

This is where the crazy behavior starts.

[Josiah]

I'm waiting right here.

[Drew Phillips]

I guess, to be fair, he just sexually assaulted. He just assaulted you also, like, to. It's a public offense, and it's a felony because it's literally in, like, a government building.

[Josiah]

Yeah, so I'm. I'm standing. I'm standing there waiting so they can see me. So I can see them. The guy that I caught walks out. Oh, no, no. The. The. The guy that was blowing him or giving him a hand job, I'm not gonna assume was in.

[Drew Phillips]

You better be giving a hand job in a airport stall, girl.

[Josiah]

You don't know gay man.

[Drew Phillips]

That is just.

[Josiah]

You don't know gay men. He. The other guy comes out first. Straightest, passing, like, rugged, rugged cowboy hat, like, whole fit on, like, blue collar worker. Guy walks out, head down.

[Drew Phillips]

Was he hot?

[Josiah]

Freaking out? Yeah, he was. Trade and, like, walks out. Doesn't wash his hands, mind you, or his face, and just walks straight out of the bathroom. Then the guy.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay, yeah. Getting on the plane with, like, dick spit in your face is.

[Josiah]

And your beard is crazy.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, I don't see. I don't even take that into account. That's.

[Josiah]

Yeah, really chopped and then the guy that I caught comes out and, like, head down, looks up, sees me, scurries away. Also doesn't wash his hands, nor his dick and balls, but anyways, nor his dick and ball. Crying, laughing at this point. And I cannot believe that of all people that would happen to me. But thank God it happened to me. Because if it was any other person waiting in line or any other person going to the bathroom, like, they would be in jail. They would have literal charges if it was a child, like, God forbid it was a fucking child that walked in on that. Like, holy shit, crazy fucking vibes. But it doesn't stop there. So I go into the stall because I was going to. I was going to investigate because I was like, what is going down here?

[Drew Phillips]

Me, when I've been wearing that trench coat every day for the past few days.

[Josiah]

I like, buttoned all the way to the top. Buttoned all the way to the top. I walk in, so I find out that the toilet paper dispensers in the airport like that are the big silver metal boxes that have, like, keys on them. You can open them all the way and it opens to the other side, which is creepy as, but they're just randomly unlocked. So, like, guys test the theory out. And then I waited there, I got on Sniffies and I downloaded the app and I hit that guy up that was in the other stall and he came and gave me sloppy toffee before my flight.

[Drew Phillips]

What?

[Josiah]

Wait, what?

[Drew Phillips]

You did not tell me that.

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

You pay for it?

[Josiah]

No.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, my God.

[Josiah]

He serviced me and worshiped me. Just kidding. Obviously. But no, I was like, really? I was like, how does this fucking work? This is crazy. Well, like, I do my thing in the bathroom, go back to my gate. Guess who's on my flight back to la. Of course he was going to la, the godless country or the godless city of la, where all the evil gays exist. He is on my flight also. No, Shade. Biggest ass I've ever seen in my life.

[Drew Phillips]

Shade. That's like. I mean, he's working it. No, he knows exactly what he has. That's what he's getting service to the dark W airport I've never seen. Wait, was it the guy who was sucking or getting this?

[Josiah]

Getting. Getting the service done? I've never seen someone that anxious in my entire life. By the way, I'm like, pacing on the phone. And also, like, I was like, on the phone with India at the time, because I was.

[Drew Phillips]

Drew has his phone on speaker in public. If Drew calls, you don't answer because he has the phone on speaker in public. And he was in public with his phone on speaker talking about this man.

[Josiah]

10Ft away from that just committed a crime. I don't give a fuck. Like, I really don't care. And I was like, should I take a picture of him? So I took like three pictures of him to show India, I guess.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, you know what? To be fair, this is the best outcome is some random motherfucker is talking about you completely anonymously. We are not crazy enough to put any pictures, but, like, I know what you look like. Actually, I fully forgot what he looked like. I remember he was wearing like a light color pair of pants. Like maybe white pants. Yeah. And he had a huge ass. That's all I remember. He has a huge ass. Like, he's got that top on him.

[Josiah]

Like a big stinky butt that's full.

[Drew Phillips]

Of the frunk and the trunk.

[Josiah]

No, no, it was, it was head. I mean, I. I don't know what.

[Drew Phillips]

Happened, but wear white pants and be playing that game in the airport bathroom. I don't think he was getting. Josie was asking if we think he got in the bathroom.

[Josiah]

But also, t is, I was like, maybe this is like a part of it, like a part of the taboo for him, like leaving the door unlocked and people catching him. Because I know that's like a thing like people like being watched or whatever.

[Drew Phillips]

Well, I mean, that's essentially what like, couple accounts have turned into. It's like, it's just the average American has now been taught because of how much media we watch to, like, low key, be into voyeurism. Question mark. Like, it's been trained onto us. Because one thing the US Will do is it will employ the most mid average looking, usually white couple you've ever seen. Because Americans eat it up. And it's like all that shit where it's like I smacked my girlfriend's ass to see how she would, like, act. Or like I. I bent over in front of my boyfriend while he was playing games.

[Josiah]

Do you remember when we got the iPhone? Controllable. Controllable vibrator and we went to public. Yeah, yeah. And did that.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. That was fun.

[Josiah]

So fun.

[Drew Phillips]

Where was it? Buffalo wild wings.

[Josiah]

I was tweaking when it was inside of me. We did it on me first in my butt and then we did it in my.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, my undies.

[Josiah]

In your bajini.

[Drew Phillips]

But thankfully I wore black underwear, so there was no, like, evidence that it had been your butt already.

[Josiah]

Yeah, we got to shut the actual up but, yeah, I caught a guy cruising in dfw. And I'm not gonna lie, DFW stands.

[Drew Phillips]

For don't women, apparently.

[Josiah]

Not gonna lie. That was a very exciting moment in my life at a very mundane that.

[Drew Phillips]

Exciting happened to me while I was gone. Like.

[Josiah]

Well, a lot of. Has happened.

[Drew Phillips]

A lot of things. Well, someone hit my car today. Happened, actually.

[Josiah]

Someone hit in his car.

[Drew Phillips]

This is the second time my old car never got hit. I finally got to a place where I was like, you know what? I can have, like, a nice car that would impress my parents and all my friends and also has the best sound system ever. Within a month of having that car, somebody hit the side of it, and now someone just hit it again.

[Josiah]

So, like, someone knocked on our door this morning, and, like, I'm not going to be mean, but, like, oic face down, like, melting off his body. Like. And also, like, y' all think, like.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, the nicest man ever.

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

But also, y' all think, like, ozempic face is, like, some molecular thing. No, it's.

[Drew Phillips]

People think I have big face because I became a woman.

[Josiah]

Ozempic face because you do Ozempic. I'm tired of. I'm tired of sitting behind this lie. This lie does. Hello.

[Drew Phillips]

She doesn't know. True. That's not true.

[Josiah]

Stop being ignorant. You're ignorant.

[Drew Phillips]

No, people think I did Oz epic. And they're like, she has ozempic face. No, you've been looking at me since I was prepubescent. Like, I literally am just like, I'm in my mid-20s.

[Josiah]

Don't say that.

[Drew Phillips]

No, I love it, though. I love it.

[Josiah]

I love it when you eat it. I love it when you eat it.

[Drew Phillips]

I love it. I love it when you eat it. Oh, yeah. So he comes up to the door. I ignored the doorbell because I thought it was Josiah. And I was like, drew can get it.

[Josiah]

Yeah. No, everyone decides to ignore the doorbell makes me get it because I'm the.

[Drew Phillips]

Furthest away set up, and I had to get ready and get all beautiful for my girls.

[Josiah]

That's true. It was honestly perfect case scenario, though, because I'm glad that happened to me and I dealt with it. But, like, he was like, hey, is this your car? And I was like, yeah, it's one of our cars. And he was like, well, I just hit it with my rental. And I was like, oh, no worries. Like, he was. I could tell he had, like, really sincere energy. Well, he, like, takes me over to the car, and he's like, yeah, I actually, like, Built the house across the street, and da, da, da. And he's talking about it all.

[Drew Phillips]

Well, I mean, I guess she was in a RAV4, but, like, that's how Ellen saved so much money.

[Josiah]

Yeah. The editors. The editors. And spray on, too, as well.

[Drew Phillips]

Yes.

[Josiah]

And there's not much to say to this story.

[Drew Phillips]

No, the point of the story is this video of Drew.

[Josiah]

Yeah. He was taking a video of me, or he was taking a video of the damage, and then he sent it to me, and it's. I was not. I was not prepared to be on film. Like, I was literally not prepared.

[Drew Phillips]

Lights, camera, action, bro.

[Josiah]

Yeah, yeah. You play, you pay. Right? Okay. So a little car that I accidentally hit, me saying. Exactly. I remember correctly. Yeah. Okay. Left front damage. And I've offered to this gentleman. What's your name? Drew Phillips. Phillips. I'm really happy to pay for you, Drew Phillips. Yeah, I showed him. Immediately. Immediately. Like, one. First of all, me saying, exactly. No idea what this man is talking about.

[Drew Phillips]

If you play, you have to pay to play.

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

What does that fudgeing mean, bro? You were looking at your iPhone going down a. Like, a suburban street, and you hit a car.

[Josiah]

And he was also making it very aware to me. He was like, I have money. I'm a doctor. I built this house. I am. I live in Park City, Utah. Like, he was, like, making it. He was like, please. Like. But also, I don't think he wants to go through insurance, because he was like, whenever you take your car to the shop, just. Just call me or have them call me, and I'll pay for everything. I wish. He hit my car and it exploded.

[Drew Phillips]

No, I'm not happy. He hit my car. I. That's. I don't own that car. That's not my car. I'm paying for that car. Like, of course. The one dime. I'm like, because my last car. Yeah, I'll flex on you. I was paying to own that Ford. Eat it up.

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

And now my parents have it, and they've already wrecked it three times, so imagine how I feel.

[Josiah]

And also, your car, the other car that you bought.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, yeah.

[Josiah]

Is sitting in a lot. Ford lot that. It was a black car and it turned green.

[Drew Phillips]

No, it was a white car.

[Josiah]

They called in his sister and was like, oh, yeah, this car. It used to be white, but it's green now. How does the car turn green, bruh?

[Drew Phillips]

Because my family doesn't respect me.

[Josiah]

I met someone with veneer breath. I really did. And, you know, what is that?

[Drew Phillips]

Is that just stink oh, my God.

[Josiah]

Wait. So much has happened in my life.

[Drew Phillips]

I know who it is.

[Josiah]

So much has happened in my life. This one I specifically can't talk about for a plethora of reasons. Veneer breath.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, yeah. Ew, ew, ew. And you were in that mouth.

[Josiah]

No, I was not. Don't even. Don't even say that about me.

[Drew Phillips]

I mean, there's no evidence to back that you aren't.

[Josiah]

Don't say that.

[Drew Phillips]

I let my imagination tell. Like, the thing is, if you're not gonna be a kiss and tell, well, why the did you tell me anything? Because now my imagination is running wild, and I think you and whoever the you're talking about did the nastiest I could think of. Because if I think about sex, I'm like, oh, me and my girls get pervy.

[Josiah]

So, no, I'll tell y' all one tidbit of the show.

[Drew Phillips]

Consensually pervy. Come on, guys.

[Josiah]

Like, should I tell them the one detail out front of the gym or.

[Drew Phillips]

No. If it's not the bottle, it's the phone.

[Josiah]

If it's not the bottle, it's the phone. There's one moment that I'm, like, debating telling because this happened before a break, actually. Whatever. We're cutting all of that.

[Drew Phillips]

Well, I was lucky enough to go to Italy with my friend Rain, and it was so fun. But one of my, like, actually, the daily.

[Josiah]

More like, literally, more like, wait, what am I.

[Drew Phillips]

Why am I literally in Italy right now?

[Josiah]

Literally.

[Drew Phillips]

Why am I literally in Italy?

[Josiah]

Literally.

[Drew Phillips]

But my most memorable moment from that trip, there was so many things that were really funny, but I was sitting outside by the pool, and I didn't have a lighter, and I wanted to smoke. So I went up to this, like, guy who worked at the hotel, and I think he was a bellboy. He was. It was one of those hotels where, like, everyone's dressed like it's a Wes Anderson movie and he was a bellboy ass. But I went up to him, I was like, oh, do you have a lighter? And he was like, oh, yes, I have a lighter. Like, however the. You do an Italian accent, I really can't. Like, I literally can't. Like, how do you do it? Like, yes, I have a light.

[Josiah]

Oh, hello. I have a letter.

[Drew Phillips]

That's better than what I did.

[Josiah]

Hello, I have a lighter.

[Drew Phillips]

Dude, you know who's really good at it is Rain. Because me and her on one of the days we went to this, like, island where they sell glass, and a glass company sent a boat.

[Josiah]

Y' all had a blast.

[Drew Phillips]

While we were in Italy. On my notes, while we were in Italy, we went to this event, and at it, it was like a bunch of mutual friends, and me and Rain had gone off and, like, smoked. And then when we came back, I said this. I don't think I repeated this to you, but to, like, a bunch of random guys about me and Rain, I go, yeah, well, we just had a party of our own, so I don't even give a about this party anymore. And with the way, like, I just present myself, or maybe I just, like, think everyone thinks I'm gay because I'm scared of the fact that I am gay. Whatever.

[Josiah]

Wait, we have to unpack that.

[Drew Phillips]

No. So then. No, no, I said that everyone was like, oh.

[Josiah]

Like, oh, they thought you heard.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, we just went and had a party of our own. I literally just had the best time of my life. I could go home now. I'm so sleepy. Like, I said something. It literally made it sound like we went and a bunch of coke and had sex. But that is not the thing I was gonna say. Essentially, this guy. I'm gonna insert a picture, but we're gonna have to blur the out of it. This bell boy was like, oh, yeah, I have. I have a lighter. Also, we had to go back and forth because I said, matches, and I was like, for smoking, like, fire. And, like, I was, like, doing the whole sign thing because, like, neither of us knew what the we were talking about. Also, every time I spoke Spanish, it just conf. Like, confused and escalated the issue. So I wasn't doing that. And he's like, oh, okay, lighter, lighter. And he goes like this. Mind you, he's carrying a huge water jug because he's going somewhere. And I'm like, oh, my God, this is the worst thing ever. Because I thought he'd be like, yeah, I'll be back with matches. Not, like, try to, like, tend to me in the moment. And he grabs this lighter. Did I show you the one he sent me or gave me, bruh? I think he just, like, had one of those moments where I was like, oh, yeah, I have a lighter. I can literally feel it in my tight ass fucking pants right now. And he didn't think about the lighter that was in there. And he pulled it out, and it was this one.

[Josiah]

Oh, my God, he pulled it out.

[Drew Phillips]

And, like, he, like, he had this water drop. So he's like, oh, yeah. And he's, like, holding it and going like this. Mind you, he's, like, around my age, like, maybe, like, 24. So he's like this, he's like, oh yeah. And like patting around for. And I'm just standing and like kind of trying not to look. So I'm like, dude, just. It was like a lot.

[Josiah]

It's icky.

[Drew Phillips]

And he goes to give it to me. He goes, oh, I know. You don't have to use this one. Like he like literally like pulled it back and was like, oh no. And like started hiding it. And he's like, I'm so sorry. And I was like, what? And I like saw it and I started cracking up and I was like, dude, no, that is perfect, thank you. And I like exactly what you need. And then he was like. And like, like was had the bottle and was like going to walk away. He's like, I'm so sorry. I'll like, I. I'll like was basically just like, I'll come back with matches. I was like, it's fine, I can use this. This is perfect. And he felt so embarrassed and he. I was at that hotel for three nights. He did not look at me once.

[Josiah]

Oh my God.

[Drew Phillips]

He was so.

[Josiah]

He knew how like Chicago. Yeah. That was like a moment.

[Drew Phillips]

But like, honestly. Good, because a straight man should feel like he's actually attacking.

[Josiah]

Yeah. Like that's very pervy of a straight.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. So it's disgusting. And I'm actually gonna call and I'm gonna have him.

[Josiah]

Yeah. Get his ass.

[Drew Phillips]

No, I thought we were gonna key after that. He brought me matches after when I gave him back, I was like, it was perfect. Thank you so much. He was like. And like ran away.

[Josiah]

Yeah. That's is hilarious.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh really? Because it doesn't seem like it is.

[Josiah]

No. That was so funny. And yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, it was a really long story where. Where it was like you kind of had to be there.

[Josiah]

Yeah. That was hilarious. What? Oh cool. Cool. I'm just kidding. That was actually awesome. I did not know the lighter looked like that.

[Drew Phillips]

I know. Also in that picture I'm covering her whole vag is out. So I think that's why it's not just like a girl with boobs. It is a completely butt naked woman on both sides. And I wish I. I've been saying this. I think I'm gonna buy the Ray Ban meta glasses. I want them so filming everything because my interactions are awesome.

[Josiah]

Imagine I got the cruising on video. No, not in like a pervy way. So y' all could see it. No, I would watch it back later. 100. No. Well, last night we were talking in bed and just sleeps in my bed almost every night now it's a problem.

[Drew Phillips]

No, not a new big bed. And it's amazing.

[Josiah]

Wait, did I literally not know about that?

[Drew Phillips]

I think you got it after.

[Josiah]

Yeah, I got a giant. I got a king size bed, y' all. It's.

[Drew Phillips]

And it's the best investment he's ever made because literally, I just. I just can't stop sleeping in it.

[Josiah]

But you're not gonna be able to for long, I'll tell you that much right now. That bed has been christened.

[Drew Phillips]

I know. Which actually grosses me out. I've never had to sit on your bed and think about if you've done nasty stuff on it. And then I was like, ew, Josiah. And I think he lied to me. I asked him if he was. His sheets. I know.

[Josiah]

I swear to God. I swear to God, I wash my sheets. And then right after I wash my sheets, Azul got eye boogers all over them and stained them.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, my God.

[Josiah]

Okay. We were laying in bed last night talking, and I realized I can look at a person and based off of, like, the distance between their eyes or the distance between their nose and their mouth or the distance between their ears, like, bone structure, bone density, I can tell how much of a freak nasty they are based off of.

[Drew Phillips]

Not just more on their personality.

[Josiah]

No, just strictly off of the way they look. I can. I can read them to fill. Oh, also Safia, that YouTuber Safia. Yeah. She and her husband hate each other.

[Drew Phillips]

I actually don't believe that. I don't believe that. The girl from buzzfeed. I don't believe that. I think she. I think they're actually really normal. I think they are shockingly so normal, because to me, no, they're not living like. It's like a Mr. Beast thing, except I would never compare them to Mr. Beast. They're like actual, like, chill people.

[Josiah]

No, they're lit as. Don't get me wrong.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, no. But they hate each. I don't think they.

[Josiah]

Behind each other, behind closed doors. There's a little tip.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, no. Yeah. I think I. I think she doesn't play about that damn job.

[Josiah]

I know. That's. That's.

[Drew Phillips]

But that's. That's why I'm such a d. Like, on defense of her, because one thing about me is. I think to date me is essentially like going to boot camp. It's like, yeah, you're gonna meet the best people ever and genuinely, like, love the Colonel, but the Colonel is evil. And, like, the Colonel has a lot of issues. It used to be in war. Like, the colonel doesn't play about her job and I'm the girl colonel. So I think she's kind of like, that is like. Yeah. Like sometimes the colonel wakes up and you don't have to tuck your. Your sheets into your bed as tight because she's just going to be like, yeah, that's a good made bed. And then other times she's going to see a letter picking from under your pillow and read it to the whole courtyard or wherever they sleep.

[Josiah]

They make them all sleep. You lost me.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, I was giving. I was writing a story. I was activating all your senses. Senses?

[Josiah]

Yeah, literally.

[Drew Phillips]

We were doing imagination exercises. I've been trying to do that so I can like expand my mind and really like I've been trying to world build. I'm building a world of my own.

[Josiah]

You're tweaking out. But like, for example, Josiah, not a freak nasty based off of bone structure. And. Yeah, let me see.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm not. I don't think I have freak nasty bone structure.

[Josiah]

You have freak nasty bone structure. Me, I'm not a freak nasty.

[Drew Phillips]

I don't have.

[Josiah]

You got me wrong.

[Drew Phillips]

Drew Phillips.

[Josiah]

Wow. Wow. You have to pay to play.

[Drew Phillips]

And I'm here with Drew Phillips.

[Josiah]

I was so scared when he flipped it up to me. I was like, oh, my God. Like, but I'm so glad he sent it to me. I almost asked him. He was like, you want me to send this to you? And I was like, yes, please, please, please.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, you know what you're watching Chapel Rome.

[Josiah]

Not a freak.

[Drew Phillips]

Who the fuck is Coco?

[Josiah]

Who the fuck is Coco? Yeah, who the fuck is Coco? We need to bring her on the podcast. I really need to know what her life transpired to be post.

[Drew Phillips]

We need to make like the Marvel universe of people like that. It's that girl. It's the guy who kicked the abortion.

[Josiah]

Like, Turkish Quantal dingle. Turkish, Turkish, Quandel dingle.

[Drew Phillips]

I don't know who that is. I don't know what that you do.

[Josiah]

The group leader. They were singing that Kanye west song.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. The kid.

[Josiah]

Nina.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, Nina, Nina, Nina, Nina, Nina fell off quick.

[Josiah]

Oh, that is in the gutter. You know who else?

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, yeah. No, she is like, oh, like she should have been. If Balenciaga really wanted to hard launch their esoteric, weird comeback, they should have put her on that one. Yeah, her sitting next to Devin. That's what I want. I want Mina and Devin in a campaign.

[Josiah]

I want to see Nina and Devin interact, period.

[Drew Phillips]

They would have a key, though. I think I. I kind of think Devin is the kind of person that, like, you could put her in a room with anybody and she will walk out and they will have each other's numbers. Like, that woman just has a charm to her.

[Josiah]

That she's perfect down to the last minute. Fucking teacher.

[Drew Phillips]

She would survive the colonel.

[Josiah]

But you know who else fell the fuck off. You know who else fell off? Greta Thunberg. That bitch is in the gutters. Bitch. Like, like, sorry.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, literally, like, why didn't Louisville use her? Like, what?

[Josiah]

Also.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, what?

[Josiah]

Don't even get me started. I have beef with Loewe. They stole from my girl Ali Spagnola. They put it on the Runway. Ali Spag. We're spaggots. We're all. She did it first with the chia seed tuxedo. Then, like, four months later, Loewe put.

[Drew Phillips]

It on the road tuxedo when she went to the wine. Wine tasting.

[Josiah]

Girl, I'm a spagot through and through. Like, don't even. Don't even try.

[Drew Phillips]

When she went to the wine tasting. Odd jet and took the puzzle back.

[Josiah]

Give me your hand. I love you and you're so special to me.

[Drew Phillips]

I love you, too.

[Josiah]

You're gorgeous.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, my God. Thank you. You look really good today, too.

[Josiah]

Josiah, you're there.

[Drew Phillips]

I love Josiah. We haven't been hanging. It's actually annoying. Josiah moved closer to us, and he doesn't come over. And that's exactly what we thought.

[Josiah]

Predicted it. We predicted it.

[Drew Phillips]

We're like, it's predictive programming. It's predictive programming. And now he's like, oh. He's like, trying to sign that. Like, I've been gone and I've been like, work. I've been working for the family.

[Josiah]

Yeah. Putting food on the table, paying your rent. We pay Josiah's rent. Josiah doesn't pay rent.

[Drew Phillips]

We said, I get no money. He's saying, I get no money.

[Josiah]

Well, you get no money. No, no swag. No swag. No, no swag. That's in. Yeah, I know. Also, you're signing, like, just. It works, actually. But what was I saying? Oh, yeah. Greta Thunberg fell off in the gutter. Her legacy being Lisbon and Lisbon lesbian. And I shouldn't be up here. Is the thing is so, like, so perfectly what's wrong with everything in this world? Because, like, she literally was that girl. She was like, fighting for the thing, climate change.

[Drew Phillips]

Saying she shouldn't be up here. Up there. Like, you're right. You should be in School and your parents kind of suck for not letting you just go to school and be. Shut up. Like, go to school, be normal and then you can like. But poor girl, she was fighting for a cause that she felt so strong for.

[Josiah]

She's still fighting for it, but in like 20 years, she'll probably.

[Drew Phillips]

Fighting where? Because I don't see her.

[Josiah]

Wait, can she be president?

[Drew Phillips]

Can she? I think you have to be like a certain age and you have to be born in the US to be the president.

[Josiah]

She was skipping class. Josiah said she didn't want to be in school. She. She did all that. Like, me faking sick to get out of class, me faking to be a climate change activist to skip class. Wait, that's what the amazing.

[Drew Phillips]

Claiming to be a martyr for a cause after finding out about what's her name? The one. No, the one girl who. She learned how to read and it was illegal and she actually, she never. I guess. See, actually, no. Malala Loki never fell off. Like, Malala is always that girl. Greta. You fell off because. Seriously, what the are you talking about? Like, we, like, don't. Like what?

[Josiah]

No, I support everything. Don't get me wrong.

[Drew Phillips]

No, I do. But, like, you know what I mean? Like, she. She literally was in school. She learned about Malala. She was like, wait, there's a method to the madness. I really. With sustainability. Let me just see if this will get me out of class and it works.

[Josiah]

Skipping class by netspend.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, whoa.

[Josiah]

I'm 27 years old and I love that.

[Drew Phillips]

No, and you're doing the right thing. It's actually very smart where you're doing.

[Josiah]

No, actually, what you're doing here is actually really smart. What you're doing right now is really smart.

[Drew Phillips]

Did you have roaches growing up?

[Josiah]

Yes. Oh, my God. We had roaches that would fly around and like, attack and like, like. No, they would literally come out. Water bugs. Water bugs. They would attack the. Out of us. And I didn't really. I wasn't scared of them until I saw my mom petrified. If you bring a roach around my mom, she will literally, like, cut off an arm to get away.

[Drew Phillips]

Well, did you have roaches? Yeah, but we had like, the baby ones that like, I saw a tick tock recently that was like a. The tiny roaches are a sign that, like, the nest is huge and it's like a huge infestation. Growing up in our first house, house, we had roaches. And like, there is a certain kind of terror you carry after having an infestation of roaches that never goes away because I feel like. Were the roaches getting in your house or were the roaches there to stay?

[Josiah]

They were there. We had roaches and mice.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh yeah. We had hella rats. Like I know the smell of a dead rat. A dead rat and a cracker.

[Josiah]

Dead rat and a cracker.

[Drew Phillips]

Like to me it is all.

[Josiah]

Don't know what I'm referencing. No. The girl when the girl gets hit in the throat. No. She's walking by the pile of Dr. Peppers and her friend put a fake rat on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

I have a black toilet. And I don't know who thought that was okay because I haven't seen like anything that's come out of my body. And now when I go to a toilet that's normal and like not a black hole of despair and I go to look in. Because you're supposed to be looking in the toilet to see if you're healthy. It's literally terrifying.

[Josiah]

I bet we could ask the plumber today if we can change it.

[Drew Phillips]

I think I need to because it's very, very, very decentering.

[Josiah]

Like it's destabilizing.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. To wake up in the morning and poop. I don't know my health. Cuz I haven't seen my poop poop in literally two months. Yeah, you can't see anything in it. I don't know the color of my pee. I don't know when I start my period. Like I just.

[Josiah]

Oh, wait, let's have that conversation. And you took a piss in my toilet like three nights ago. It was. It was the darkest urine I have ever seen. It stank. Like bacterial vaginosin. Yeah. Fishy.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh my God. That's not true. That's not true. We actually don't need to start the rumor that I'm like one of those dirty nasty girls because I take care of myself. Like I like, like literally, like there's maintenance, there's maintenance, there's weekly maintenance. And sometimes you know what? I'm in a bad place and it's not getting the work it needs. But the bridge is back down. The people are re entering the city. It is bustling. It is alive. My body is back.

[Josiah]

No. India takes care of herself, but she just had one day where that urine.

[Drew Phillips]

No, it's bad. I haven't been drinking as much water because all of my. That's not my company. Those banks. That's not my company. That's not my company. That's not my bottle.

[Josiah]

Don't yell at us about the Price.

[Drew Phillips]

That's not my bottle. They played their cards right. That's not my bottle. They used me. They used me and I'm going to come after them. Not actually because I don't give a fuck, but, like, that's not my bottle. They just sent me the bottle for free. Against my will. Against my will. They found my address and they sent me things, and I'm so happy about it. But that is the only way I drink water is if I have one of those big stupid bottles in my hand. And I've been traveling and working and moving around a bunch. So all of my bottles have collected in my car. And last night I was brave and I took all of them out because seeing the color of my pee, I was like, guys, I'm going through it. Actually, no, I'm coming out of going through it. Because I was.

[Josiah]

You're coming out.

[Drew Phillips]

She had no idea that song would be huge with gay people.

[Josiah]

Or she did, and she had no idea it would be huge with straight.

[Drew Phillips]

No, I think she had that song written. She had that song given to her. Right. She wrote the song.

[Josiah]

Have y' all ever accidentally seen my balls and not said anything?

[Drew Phillips]

No, because I would scream. I would be disgusted.

[Josiah]

Really?

[Drew Phillips]

No.

[Josiah]

Okay. Just needed to know that.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh. But basically I was thinking about how.

[Josiah]

I. I've seen yours and I've seen your Bajini.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, you've seen me?

[Josiah]

Yes. They fell out of your boxers. Morning.

[Drew Phillips]

Ew. You've seen my prickly pear? Because I don't give a. When you see me naked and is in his.

[Josiah]

Got a furball. I coughed up a lot of. I felt like a cat years ago when I was 17. Yes.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, whoa.

[Josiah]

Well, Catching Fire, Hunger Games and Chick Monks, Chipmunks, Chipwrecked were filmed on the same beach.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, that being. Is there any other slides or is it just that scene?

[Josiah]

Just that scene that's like.

[Drew Phillips]

I wish it was more like, why didn't they all film in the same jungle? Because what happened in Chipwrapped?

[Josiah]

I have no.

[Drew Phillips]

I don't remember that movie at all. I really want to re watch Shrek 2, which sounds like the most, like, Shrek ass thing ever. But Shrek 2 was the best movie and it was the gayest Shrek movie. And it was so good musically and musically. And I saw screenshots of, like, the fake rodeo they made. And now after living in LA this long, I'm like, damn, I really need to see this. Because the best part about living in LA is now a bunch of movies I Re watch.

[Josiah]

I'm like, auto.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

I literally, like, when I first moved here was like, I've literally been here in Grand Theft Auto.

[Drew Phillips]

Y' all better not play GTA in front of me because I already can't shut up. Up about the fact that I'm from Miami. Oh. Like, I've actually been there.

[Josiah]

That's actually.

[Drew Phillips]

It's actually funny because before that was there, this was there.

[Josiah]

It's actually a lot smaller in the game than it is in real life.

[Drew Phillips]

It's huge. You wouldn't believe it. And then you get there in person, it's not that much bigger.

[Josiah]

Something we don't talk about enough. And I wish Kai was here to get berated by us cuz we don't talk about this moment enough. And I saw the other day Sand.

[Drew Phillips]

Whoa. Was that not good? No one caught that, like, Okay, I guess it was bad.

[Josiah]

We don't talk about Bruno.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

Girl, that month did damage. We'll get back though.

[Drew Phillips]

That was good. You guys are sleeping. Oh, but when people are commenting Bruno in the comments, then y' all are gonna feel left out.

[Josiah]

But something we don't talk about enough is sand literally falling out of Kaishu. Like, he lifted his foot up and like a pound of sand dusted out and fell on the floor of our kitchen. Yeah. Like, it literally. It was like thanos snap. Like, but with his toes.

[Drew Phillips]

It really was also because it was his toes. It did feel like in a movie when someone starts disintegrating because it always starts from there.

[Josiah]

Yeah, it just like.

[Drew Phillips]

Was he even at the beach? Why? And why were those your shoes at the beach? Where did all of that come from?

[Josiah]

We really need to have a conversation about this with him the next episode. And he's gonna listen to this and he's gonna try to defend himself. But, like, don't even.

[Drew Phillips]

Don't even gonna listen to this and try to defend his honor.

[Josiah]

Don't even try to text me about it because we're gonna talk about this next week. Mickey 17. Worst movie I've ever seen in my life.

[Drew Phillips]

Have you seen it?

[Josiah]

Yes.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, I didn't know you saw it already. You see? You see everything without me. You hate me.

[Josiah]

Worst fucking movie I have ever seen. It is a satire that happened five years too late. And the dick riding I have seen for it is literally. It makes me feel dumb and stupid in my head. I love him. I love. I love the host. That was like one of my first favorite movies ever. I remember watching it over and over and over again. So I Understand, like, he has an obsession with, like, creatures. But, like, how do you go from Parasite to that? Like, girl, Like, I want to watch it.

[Drew Phillips]

But, like, I. Sometimes I hate that for creatives, because when somebody makes something that good, I'm like, it's impossible. No matter what you do next, people aren't going to be happy.

[Josiah]

And I went into it expecting, not the best movie ever, but not to be satisfied. Yeah, Like, I expected. Not. I did not expect Parasite by any means. I expected, like, a super Americanized version of, like, whatever, a creature film. But, like, because I saw, like, videos about it, but, like, damn, I did. It did not resonate with me at all. Like, there were points in the movie where I was like, oh, I might actually get up.

[Drew Phillips]

Well, because does every movie need to be about, like, some gay? Like, a person with an iPhone?

[Josiah]

Yes. Wait, what?

[Drew Phillips]

Because you said it just, like, didn't. Like, maybe you just didn't feel like you were being shown in it. So I'm just saying, like, if. Is that what it's going to take?

[Josiah]

I'm not gay.

[Drew Phillips]

Gay. Ew. Do the hell that you were doing. Sounds like you. Help me.

[Josiah]

Wow.

[Drew Phillips]

That was just sighing. It does sound like. No. Show the video. Pull up the evidence, y' all.

[Josiah]

I got a hotel for two days because I was expecting a crash out. I thought I was gonna, like, literally be sad, and I was like, I don't want to taint the energy of the new house with sadness.

[Drew Phillips]

He fully did crash out. And he crashed out over not getting a text back. And he literally was the craziest I've ever seen him act.

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

And he was tweaking out, and he couldn't hear any positive reinforcement. So, like, literally, the three of us were just sitting and we were, like, watching him lose his mind. And it was amazing. But that's good. That means I just have to get a really nice camera. So, like, for your big crash out. Oh, we're making Taxi Driver, too.

[Josiah]

No, literally, also, you have the video.

[Drew Phillips]

On your phone and you're not gonna see it.

[Josiah]

But, yeah, I got a hotel room for two days to crash out because I was like, dark, darkness, darkness, darkness. I didn't want to taint the energy of my new home. And I did exactly that. And then, mind you, I get to this hotel room and I'm alone, and I direct. I go directly to the hallway closet, shut it behind me, and sit on the floor of it for an hour. Just, like, in the darkness. Not crying, not being sad, just, like, sitting in the darkness. And it's a nice hotel room, too. I should have explored a little bit. Should have gone by the pool.

[Drew Phillips]

No, that was nice. I think the. I think the way you did it was perfect. Sitting in the closet.

[Josiah]

Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah.

[Josiah]

I set myself up every time, bro.

[Drew Phillips]

I know.

[Josiah]

I just, like, screamed my voice away, by the way.

[Drew Phillips]

No, you've been losing your voice over the past three days.

[Josiah]

Should I, like, scream really loud and completely lose it?

[Drew Phillips]

Would you lose it?

[Josiah]

I think, yeah, I think so. And I think, like, people with rest to be voices are so sexy. Like, imagine, like, meeting all the people in New York, and I'm like, hey, that would be kind of cute.

[Drew Phillips]

Like.

[Josiah]

Yeah, Mickey. 17 bunk as we. I saw Barbie's movie.

[Drew Phillips]

I have to see it.

[Josiah]

It is so good.

[Drew Phillips]

And, like, I know I've only heard people talk about how good it is.

[Josiah]

It is the most, like, wholesome, like, feel good movie. Like, cry at the end. Like, it was so good. And Barbie's performance was legitimately, like, one of my favorite performances I've seen. I need to see it in the last six months. Like, she went ape. And, like, not that I didn't know she had that in her, but, like, to a certain degree, I was like, I was genuinely shocked. I was like, oh, she's acting her boots off.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, dude, I'm so excited for, like.

[Josiah]

Like, all that Bob Trevino cuts hair.

[Drew Phillips]

But my media of the week, Next time somebody pisses you off, just set them up to give you head. Like, the exact day you stop bleeding. Like, on that day that, you know, if you did a few jumping jacks, you would, like, launch out, like, the last membranes. Just make sure someone gives you head right in that, like, radioactive state of disaster. And that, to me, would be the best revenge because what you're going to be, like, the worst case scenario is that that person walks away and they're like, dude, her tasted like ass. I'm like, yeah, I was on my period.

[Josiah]

Like, what her tastes like butt. Her tastes like a butthole.

[Drew Phillips]

Well, they are very close. That's so gross. Okay. The last thing I'll say is gonna hurt Drew's feelings.

[Josiah]

Wow.

[Drew Phillips]

But okay, actually, not really, because I don't feel this way about yours. But you know those wine bottles with the light, like, the ones you have in your room with that flip cap? Those at a restaurant make me feel so nasty for some reason. Like, I just feel like a bottle shaped like that does not get cleaned the amount it should be cleaned. And to the extent it should be cleaned for everyone's nasty hands. Going in there. And I just think about, like, when someone has their earrings in for too long and it cakes up and gets disgusting, which is the nastiest guy trait ever. And I'm so tired of men taking, like. Like effeminate trace and doing it. And you're doing it nasty. You're getting a manicure of a color too dark, but you can't see that there's dirt under your nails because you're a animal, and you're not somebody who's scrubbing your nails before you touch people. Nasty monster. And that's how I feel about men with earrings, because they always get their ears pierced and they never take it out, and it smells like ass crack of Notre Dame. It's so nasty. But that is what I imagine for the wine bottle. Like, things at restaurants. It's like, it was just all that gunk from nasty. Go to restaurants and they don't wash their hands and they touch everything, and everything is fucking nasty. And I hate those. And I hate. I know. Sustainability. It is the ugliest fucking thing ever. Stop cutting glass bottles in half and making them cups. Because it's not a cup. It is a bottle cut in half. And I hate those cups. And, like, the bottom of wine glasses is. Is so the bull ugly. The nipple. Like, if I wanted to suck on a nipple, I'd get on my iPhone and make it happen.

[Josiah]

She'd come to me, and if I wanted to suck a nipple, I'd be sucking hers.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, well, that's so gross to think about me sucking. Guys, my boobs deflated, and I just have skin socks. And when I bend over, it literally, like, I look like the woman from Barbera.

[Josiah]

You know those, like, punching bags where you go, go.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, that's what I'm giving.

[Josiah]

That's what I do.

[Drew Phillips]

And I'm not gonna do anything about it. Honestly. Like, for a long time, I was like, I'm gonna get my boobs done. I'm gonna get my boobs done. Honestly, there's something, like, crazy about that. For what? Literally, for what? Because I'm so in my head that I every. Everybody I met, I'd be like, I got my boobs done. And then, like, it would be, like, a useless conversation because I'm just, like, weirdly insecure. And I'd be like, can you tell I did something to my boobs because I did something to my boobs.

[Josiah]

You would make it interesting because you're very interested. Interesting.

[Drew Phillips]

Thanks. But I don't want to because it's, like, too much Work also, I genuinely think if somebody cut me open and I woke to that I would kill myself.

[Josiah]

Well, that's what I'm saying. The drainage pipes afterwards, like I don't think you could handle.

[Drew Phillips]

That's disgusting. But I don't mean it's disgusting. Like girl, if you get your done, like kudos. Like I just can't because something's wrong with me. And every day, wait, my waking up, my whole existence feels like the. Like I'm paralyzed. I'm paralyzed. I'm paralyzed. I'm paralyzed. I'm paralyzed. Was just every day. The reason I think I smoke so much is because last year I became so just like disconnected. And I think about how often I called myself stupid. It was fully. Just because I know too much and I don't want to talk. I literally don't want to talk about anything. And every day my existence has felt like at least one moment. I wake up and I come to and I'm like paralyzed. I paralyzed. I flush your bones. I flush your bones. I'm fleshing bones. I'm fleshing bones. That is what my existence feels like.

[Josiah]

Literally.

[Drew Phillips]

But yeah, I really hate those restaurants. Not nasty bottles. They're so. I also hate like a restaurant dispenser. The plastic ones that like have the spring that they really don't work. And you know that whoever touched it last, because you're about to do the same thing is dig their hands in there. And I just think about how dirty. So I never use the top napkins because also those top napkins are rubbing against all the plastic. So like if I use napkins from something like that, I'll make sure to use the center of the napkins from the ones laid under it because the side ones have already ripped across and wiped down this fucking plastic contraption.

[Josiah]

You know what I hate is the soap dispensers that you have to go.

[Drew Phillips]

You have to touch.

[Josiah]

Yeah, you can hear them. You. Or you hit it with your palm and it squirts it out those. Because every once in a while my fingers will graze like the mechanism underneath and it's like dried cake. Like soap that's been there for months, if not years, it's never been cleaned and it'll flake into the palm of my hand. Hate that. Hate that. Also, I hate wet countertops more than anything in the world. Like literally a wet sink will make me lose my mind. Like, oh. Cuz all I can think is the.

[Drew Phillips]

Germs residing in the pools.

[Josiah]

Yeah, like the pools.

[Drew Phillips]

The pools. The body of the Water, the body, the bodies of water holding bacteria. The water hold bacteria. The bottle of these water hold bacteria.

[Josiah]

You, the brain, the body keeps the score. Everything about that. Think about that.

[Drew Phillips]

But yeah, I. With all my time to myself in my brain, I have thought a lot about all the things that I thought were normal and they're not. Because I don't think anybody should feel that way about wine bottles. But I'm sure someone out there feels that.

[Josiah]

Like they get it.

[Drew Phillips]

Corner.

[Josiah]

Wait. That a Inya might be into beastiality with a goat like me? Okay, in coochie. Tastes like laptops.

[Drew Phillips]

Sounds good to me.

[Josiah]

BPD BPD this. BPD that, that I want to be putting this P on his D. Okay, that was from Graystar.

[Drew Phillips]

They asked me to call them Gray Star Enterprises. That's what that sounds like. Your face right now. Like for what you're looking up versus like the face of seriousness. You have the face. This is the face of seriousness.

[Josiah]

Someone emailed me. So my best friend and I went to Oak Lawn in Dallas on Friday the 20th. Around 1am we realized her phone was gone. We were so fixated on the missing phone. Not even because it was an iPhone 16, but because we had waited over a month for our emergency intercom cases that were back ordered. We finally got them. I have the Inya one, she had the Drew one and her phone went missing. All we could think about, the phone case is gone. IPhone 16 replaceable, the case devastated. Anyways, we didn't end up finding her phone. We didn't end up finding her phone. And by the next morning, we realized her wallet was gone too. She literally got pickpocket in a gayborhood. Well, we should sin.

[Drew Phillips]

We should send her a case.

[Josiah]

Yeah, we should.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm literally such a good person. What the. Like, what? Wait, I hear stories like that and genuinely I think send her a case. No, that is crazy. Also, how did you not notice your wall being so caught up about the case that you don't realize your whole wall is missing? Also, I think like you are the type of person, if your phone went missing, you would destroy the night. I think if my phone went missing, the night could go on. And honestly, the mic.

[Josiah]

No, the night might get better. I would not destroy the night. I. I really. If, If I was drunk, I would not destroy the night.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, if you were drunk, but you're never drunk anymore, so you would destroy the night. Night.

[Josiah]

Straight pubic hair scares me so bad. That is not a bush. That is a weeping willow.

[Drew Phillips]

Right? Right. I'm Going to pull your pants down.

[Josiah]

I just read one that just, like, physically, like, made me cringe.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, my God. Imagine it was yours that made him cringe.

[Josiah]

Oh, yeah. If we weren't Brockhampton's. If we weren't Brockhampton stands together. Please don't say we go way back.

[Drew Phillips]

Me, when I was the colonel of Brockhampton.

[Josiah]

Imma fly a lucky follower out to my house to fuck them. Okay, I'm a fly a lucky follower out to my house to tell them my theories. Would you break up with your boyfriend if you found out he could do the splits?

[Drew Phillips]

Yes.

[Josiah]

Ups, United Penis Services. Dropping dick off daily.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay, enough.

[Josiah]

I want to wax for a living, but I'm scared as fuck. Oh, wait. I want to. I want to wax for a living, but I'm scared I'm gonna eat one and get fired. That's literally me.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay, well, my media or.

[Josiah]

Yeah, media. Sorry, y' all Those psyops suck.

[Drew Phillips]

No, that was awesome. I can't think of anything. Relationships by Heim. Love that song.

[Josiah]

Yeah, I was about to say that.

[Drew Phillips]

That song is awesome. No.

[Josiah]

No, immediately.

[Drew Phillips]

No. Okay, wait.

[Josiah]

Actually, I'll just go through the first six songs.

[Drew Phillips]

I Touch I Touch Roses by Book Of Love. We're almost There. Michael Jackson, Somebody Loves Me, Sister Sledge.

[Josiah]

Bye, Sisters.

[Drew Phillips]

Four, Five, Four and Borderline by Madonna.

[Josiah]

I'm Borderline Personality Disorder by Madonna. I really have only been listening to Salem. Like, only.

[Drew Phillips]

That's a really scary vibe.

[Josiah]

I know. I know. It's. It's like. Normally when I listen to it, like, it feels. I can't say the reason why I listen to it, but there's. There's the. Normally when I'm listening to Salem, there's a reason, but I don't have that reason this time, and I'm listening to it just for fun and I kind of love it.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, that is awesome. Was it a sad reason?

[Josiah]

No, I'd like no reason at all, really. I just like it. It. Asia by Salem, Confused, Red Lights by Salem. I really like Not Much of a Life. It's not Much of a Life we're leading.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, yeah.

[Josiah]

Living.

[Drew Phillips]

Is that Lana or am I literally.

[Josiah]

No, it's Salem.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh. What?

[Josiah]

Yeah. No, they sampled Rihanna. Oh.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh.

[Josiah]

I like this song. Thrown around by James Blake, Hell Of a Ride by Nourished By Time and then Gay Guy by DJ Assault. And just know there have been a major. There was a major event that happened in LA that we can't talk about because Kai decided to ditch us today, but we'll talk about it next week. We'll go into it. But just know I'm a star. I'm talented. People want to sit and look at me in my face and tell me I can't sing when I can get on stage in front of 1600 people in flawlessly. Flawlessly.

[Drew Phillips]

Want to be me? Be me. I'm on my Chris.

[Josiah]

Breezy, breezy, Flawlessly. Sing kitty cat and Countdown.

[Drew Phillips]

I know Josiah's had you beat since.

[Josiah]

He was 8, since he was on America's Got Talent. Wait, I just put something together that I can't say until after the podcast, and you're gonna die laughing. Yeah, but. Yeah. Yeah, but. Okay. Thank you guys so much for tuning in. We'll never leave you again is a lie. We will one day. We will one day soon probably. We will probably vanish and there may never be us ever again. But there are me. Don't do that. Was disgusting. Oh, my God. You. We may leave one day very soon. And I'm soft launching the demise of the podcast. But I love you.

[Drew Phillips]

That's not true.

[Josiah]

That's not true.

[Drew Phillips]

Who would you believe? Me. Drew.

[Josiah]

I bet. Who does it better, Me or Drew? Me or Drew? All right, Peace and love. Bye, guys.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and safeway. Now through June 24th. Score hot summer savings and earn four times the points. Look for in store tags on items like egg kinder, Bueno cheese at Crackers, Oscar Meyer lunchables, and just bear chicken bites. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event long savings. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in store or online for easy drive up and go pickup or delivery subject to availability restrictions apply. Visit Albertsons or Safeway for more details.