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A
This is an iHeart podcast.
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Stop settling for weak sound. It's time to level up your game and bring the boom. Hit the town with the ultra durable LG X Boom portable speaker and enjoy vibrant sound wherever you go. Elevate your listening experience to new heights because let's be real, your music deserves it. The future of sound is now with LG x boom and for a limited time save 25%@LG.com with code fall25. Bring the boom x boom.
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This is Sophia from OK Storytime. This is it, the moment we've all been waiting for. The Next Up Live Music Finals Live from the legendary iHeartRadio theater on September 26, 12 of the hottest rising artists will step onto the stage with their biggest performance yet, hosted by JoJo on the radio and EJ from 102.7 Kiss FM and judged by an all star panel of music powerhouses. This is where stars are born. Watch it all unfold live on TikTok on September 26th from 7 to 9pm Pacific Time only only on the official TikTok handle ictoclive. Underscore us again, that's at TikTok Live. Underscore Us.
D
This is Gemma Spake from the psychology of your 20s so you can't get the trip out of the group chat. We have all been there, but did you know there may be an easy solution. EF Ultimate Break is a group travel company for 18 to 35 year olds with over 140 itineraries all over the world. Just sign up and recruit six or more friends for a trip. You will save hundreds or even thousands of dollars. You even travel for free. Learn more@efultimatebreak.com that's efultimatebreak.com and turn the group chat into a group trip.
E
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A
Hey.
F
Hi guys.
A
Welcome to this episode of Emergency Intercom.
F
If you hear a screaming cat in the background, it's actually Josh.
A
Yeah, Josh is going through this weird.
F
He's in this furry phase Right now, actually, he's coming into spirit.
A
Halloween is selling furry masks.
F
That's so sick.
A
I actually want to get one. I want to get one and customize it for the of it. Like, that would be fun. Come up here, bro.
F
Also, this is what you want. Furry right now. He's about to. You might be able to see him in frame right now.
A
Josh. Josh, get up here.
F
He's, like, being really weird, but, like.
A
Azoa is probably the worst cat on the planet. No, I can't say. Look at how handsome he is, Drew. Like, he's really handsome.
F
Boy's not getting handsome.
A
Look, I'm making more than enough space for you. Like, this is enough space for you, bro.
F
Okay, y'. All. So I went to another sidekick.
A
Oh, yeah.
F
I got got again. It was literally horrible. That actually didn't give me, like, psychosis like it did last time, but I had a horrible experience, and it was so annoying because literally every one of my friends that went to this guy was like, he is the greatest psychic ever. Like, he's the real deal. He's very nice. He's very chill. He's very calm. He's very collected. Like, he'll tell you how it is. He's blunt and honest, but, like, everything he's ever told us has come true. So I was like, oh, I'm going to go. Like, I'm going to do that. It started out normal. Like, the first, like, 10 or 15 minutes were, like, all about me. It was, like, super chill. It was like, well, that's what a sidekick is supposed to be.
A
But, like, the way you phrased it was, like, it was super chill. It was all about me.
F
Well, yeah, because they don't fudgeing know.
A
Well, yeah, I guess I'm thinking that, like, I know what happens.
F
Like, literally, guys, like, at one point, he literally tells me, oh, yeah, by the way, in the next four years, there's going to be a gay holocaust.
A
That's, like, not funny.
F
Because, like, it's literally not funny, but it's hilarious.
A
It's a crazy thing to say in the middle of us. Also crazy thing to say because in this climate, it, like, it's not like a psychic saying that is not like, you're crazy. It's like, wait, wait, wait, back up. Because, like, what. What exactly are you saying now?
F
Did I write four years down in my journal? Because if he's right, like, I need to give him his.
A
What are you gonna do? Like, win a lottery ticket? You're.
F
I'm gonna be dead.
A
Yeah. Or wait well, no, we'll be, we're. We're married.
F
But got really, really dark very quick and there's a lot of things that he said that I am just genuinely not comfortable repeating because it was some of the darkest, most horrifying words I've ever been that have ever been spoken towards me. And I'm sorry for bringing it up, but like it was like, like dark sided as. Like he was talking about like killing kids and like it was, it was.
A
Oh my God, dude, I need to.
F
Like report him to someone.
A
He recently probably got prescribed like Vyvans or Adderall. And since there's such a huge shortage, he just got meth.
F
Also, he got up like halfway through, not even halfway through, like third 20 minutes in and got up and pissed with the door open.
A
The door open?
F
Yes, the door was open, loud as fuck, like piss. And was talking to me while he was pissing and I was like, babe, I don't know, like why we're broing down like this. And then he went to his kitchen, grabbed a cigarette, made a cup of espresso and then was like, I'm going to go smoke a cigarette and have an espresso, mind you, on the clock. On the fucking clock. And he was like, do you want to. Do you want a cigarette with me? Do you want an espresso with me? And I was like, no, but I'll come sit out there with you. And then on the porch.
A
Wait, you sat out on the porch with it?
F
Yes.
A
What the.
F
He asked me to. And he smoked that cigarette, blew it all in my face. And then he was like, he was like, I really. And then he started talking about himself and was like, I need to stop smoking. I need to stop smoking. And then I was like, yeah, like it's not good for you. And he was like, yeah, but what's even worse are those vapes. Like they, they put water in your lungs. And I was like, yeah, true. He was, he's not a thing. Oh. He also said, I don't, I don't how we got here, but this literally like started talking about like anti vaccine mentality and was like, yeah, like if I had my kids fully.
A
Just came at you randomly with his. Today was a conservative day. Like, he was like, finally I, finally.
F
I can be myself. I'm around a white with Alex Jones. He's an anti vaxxer and loves Joe Rogan. I don't know what, why I, I mean, I'm wearing camo, but like, but look at my legs. Like there's Duality. There's balance here, but, like, I don't know why people see me.
A
Do you think it's because you say you're from Texas? I think that's like, oh, my God, thank God. Like, girl, you're a gay motherfucker who lived in L. A for eight years ahead.
F
No, it was crazy.
A
But, like, you're at a psychic.
F
I know. Literally. And I also told him, like, not to.
A
And listen, there is no sexuality rules with psychics, as far as I'm aware. So straight guys can go to psychics.
F
But if you're going to a psychic, that's like having a birthday.
A
Well, if a straight guy is going to a psychic, that should be like. And then he ends up manipulating a woman. A woman. That should be manipulate. Manipulating a woman. It should be, like, counted as, like, premeditation. Like, it should be a charge. Like, if there's, like, track record that a man goes to therapy randomly and then leaves very soon after and hurts a woman's feelings. Like, it's. I don't know. Small claims core. I've been working on things.
F
No, I've been thinking about theories. I have theories. Where do I take my theories?
A
Where do I take my theories about small claims court being kind of gaggy?
F
But, yeah, that, like, was genuinely terrifying.
A
I cannot believe that. Dude, you have.
F
I have the worst luck with people.
A
Yeah.
F
Like, I don't know. I literally don't know what it is. Because, guys, I cannot, like, explain to you enough how recommended this guy was to me. Like, they literally, like, all of my friends were like, it was life changing. Like, it was genuinely life changing. And then this guy just, like, spoke to me, like, in conspiracies, said Obama was bad. And I was like, girl, what. What is happening? Like, what is fucking happening? Like.
A
And you paid him?
F
I paid him. I paid him. And I did think I overpaid him by a hundred dollars, but I got corrected because Zamar underpaid. But I thought. I thought I got overcharged. So I was like, girl, well, he.
A
Charged you an extra hundred dollars for listening.
F
No, like, literally for me. Like, oh, my God. He literally said nothing about me. He. About me. He was like, no. He was like, november on and for two years, they will be the luckiest years of your life. High risk, high reward. And that's all I took. And then he told me. I. He told me. He told me I need to go walk on the beach. And then he was like, oh, but make sure. Make sure it's at night. Make sure it's at night. And I was like, oh, because of, like, the energy. Like, the energy with the moon will be, like, it'll be better energy. And he was like, no, it'll be easier to park. And I was. I was like, what is happening to me?
A
What is happening? That is amazing.
F
The energy. The energy.
A
That's my. Right there. Like, damn, dude. You know what's crazy is I absolutely never get that. I don't think I've ever been berated. Yeah, I've never.
F
Conservatively.
A
Yeah. Like, I can. Like, I really can't think of a time I've been cornered like that. And I don't know what my reaction would be because I think it's easy for people to assume you would, like, stand your ground and, like, speak your mind, but.
F
Oh, I did don't get it.
A
Well, that's why he charged you that extra.
F
No, literally. Don't get it twisted. I did push back, but I learned very quickly that, like, if he said some outrageous shit and I pushed back on it, he would. It was just.
A
He wanted to debate.
F
Yeah, no, no, no, not at all. He wouldn't debate me at all. He would say, like, some heinous shit. I would be like, hey, don't say that. And then he would be like, okay, think of a number. And, like, would just. Like, that's how he would. And that's how I figured out how to get it to, like, back to me. Like, is. He would. Like.
A
You got charged. Like, you got charged money to go play mind games with this. I can see your mind. Literally, like, you saw his. Maybe you were such a powerful soul.
F
He did guess that you would go to South Carolina a bunch. He said a bunch. Carolina, North Carolina. North Carolina. He did, like, say a bunch of things to me very early and very quickly where I was like, oh, whoa. Like, how the do you know that? Like, it was. It was. It was pretty creepy.
A
So, okay, he's just like an evil guy with powers with, like, superpowers. Like, why is this.
F
Because I wish I could tell you what he was saying, but I'm just genuinely not comfortable repeating it. But, like, anyways, yeah, I went to a sidekick. It was horrible. Worst experience of my life. And I paid it. I paid him. I still paid him.
A
Of course you did. Aul, by the way, is being so annoying, because we should clarify. It's like, 12:30 in the middle of the night. We go to New York in the morning for Fashion Week, and Azul is angry as fuck because I'm supposed to be in bed.
F
You're supposed to be in bed, and I didn't interact with him that much today.
A
Oh, he's a lonely guy. I think I want to get him a brother, but also, like, Azul's too old.
F
Also, he would up. He would literally up a baby. Like, he would give them bad habits.
A
Okay.
F
No, he's. I love him.
A
Yeah, he sucks.
F
I'd take a bullet for him, but he sucks. Yeah, he's, like, objectively a bad cat.
A
He's just like, I don't know.
F
He destroys all of my plans, all of my furniture. He throws up on my bed.
A
Something's wrong with you. You should go back to the psychic, because now this is your second interaction with a psychic.
F
Maybe I am the problem. No, I think I need to go to a third psychic and pay them $300 to scream at me again.
A
Damn, dude. I'm really trying to think of. I guess the only thing similar to that that I had happened recently was me, Rain and. And my two younger siblings went to an escape room. And Drew, you had plans. Like, we were all at the mall. Drew went off. Our other friend, I think Sabrina, was supposed to join us or something, but she bailed. And these escape rooms is like, oh, there's always seven to eight people in it. And if your friends don't fill it out, they add other people if they want to, like, join it.
F
He's getting cable away from that. He's eating cables.
A
Sorry. My cat is literally, like, destroying my life. But we got paired with this couple, and they're, like, an older couple, but it seems like they're dating. It doesn't seem like they've been together for a long time. There's a bit of an age gap. I would. If I had to guess, the woman had to have been, like, 34, and the guy was, like, 42 or something. And the vibe was insane. She just sucked so bad, but was, like, begging to lead. And, like, just kept doing the thing where you end up in escape room with somebody who's like, now imagine if.
F
There was a woman president.
A
I'd even think about that.
F
And a woman gets.
A
And she was probably on her period. Yeah, I was gonna. Yeah, Imagine it was like.
F
Imagine a woman on her period getting nuclear codes.
A
Getting cuticle codes. Yes, the cuticle.
F
Yes.
A
And say that with your. What?
F
Chest? And, oh, my God, it's almost at the door. He's haunting.
A
But basically, this woman was being insane. In my theory was that she was trying to prove to her boyfriend that if he cheated on her, she would find out, like, does that make sense? Like, the whole thing felt like he was not interested by any means. He couldn't give a. To be there. He was on his phone. He was in the corner. At one point, he left. And she's, like, really, really in it, but she's. No offense. I love her so much. Like, I don't even know her, but I spent an hour with her. So in that world, I love her, but, like, he doesn't give a. Like, oh, my God.
F
About her. The game.
A
Okay, we're back.
F
We recorded like 20, 25 minutes of this episode and only got 10 minutes, so I don't know what at all was lost, but let's keep going.
A
Like, let the universe eat it. You know what? Yeah, keep it.
F
You ended. It's just for us, you ended on that woman. The woman that was talking about or in the escape room.
A
Oh, I. I went to an escape room and it was.
F
No, no, no. Like, you got through that story.
A
Oh, I got through.
F
Yeah.
A
Oh, I think.
F
I don't know.
A
Anyways, I was, like, done with that. But my new topic is I think I am just born to be a contrarian in, like, the worst way. And I'm just gonna have to live with that because I have on record last year how badly I wanted to see the VMAs. Like, I spent US$80 on a bunch of streaming services just trying to watch it live. Could not figure it out for the life of me. You couldn't have made me give a this year.
F
I know.
A
When I opened Tick Tock and I saw that, I was like, I can.
F
What's crazy in yet is literally this year was the first time I think I had fomo of the VMAs. Like, watching all the clips back on, like, the Instagram. Like, the VMAs. Instagram. I was like, okay, Conan Gray Torpus. Like, at one point, that was crazy. Tate McCray went ballistic.
A
I mean, her dancing around in that.
F
Dusty ass sand, I was like, she's like. Like a performer. Boots. Like, it was crazy. Then everybody else, I was kind of like, yeah.
A
I just like, I love Conan. I loved that outfit so much too. The sailor outfit that he walked with.
F
No, we're not giving. Because what did that one Tick Tocker turned musician sing?
A
That's like, at this point, I'm not kidding.
F
That's a single new artist, literally everyone.
A
So I'm like, that could be any.
F
Tick Tocker turned actor. Actor. Tick Tucker turned musician.
A
I mean, and if I got. If I got the deal with the Devil, don't be mad if I sign it. Like, that's literally how I feel. Like, I'd love to be an actor. I'd love to be the most mid actress you've ever seen in your goddamn life. That would literally be awesome for me. Like, it'd make.
F
Do you remember when we auditioned for those roles? Life is gonna be difficult to see those audition tapes and myself.
A
No, you know what?
F
I would kill myself.
A
Genre of person. Like, I think the people who are brave enough to post audition audition tapes give them the.
F
No. Give them the key to the city. Like, give them a gun in war.
A
Because you have to be. You know what? No one believes in themselves more than that person in Jojo Siwa. Like, those frontlines, you are like. Like, it's just this level of like. I'd actually rather gauge my eyeballs out with dull sporks than post an audition tape. Oof, oof, oof, oof. Even if there's like a world where I did an audition tape and I got the part, I got the part. If you want to see me do. Watch the part. Don't. Like, don't. Don't humiliate me. I know that's up.
B
Stop settling for weak sound. It's time to level up your game and bring the boom. Hit the town with the ultra durable LG X Boom portable speaker and enjoy vibrant sound wherever you go. Elevate your listening experience to new heights because, let's be real, your music deserves it. The future of sound is now with LG X Boom. And for a limited time, save 25%@LG.com with code Fall25. Bring the Boom X Boom.
F
This episode of Emergency Intercom is brought to you by Zoc Duck. Y', all. Do you remember that doctor appointment you were trying to make a while ago that you forgot about because you are ADHD? Well, that's where ZocDoc comes into play. I don't know about you, but my social media is freaking me out. I literally need y' all to stop putting olive oil on your face. It's not gonna help your skin. Please go to a dermatologist booked through zocdoc. As I get older, I think I should go to the doctor more because I can't sleep at night. I'm stressed out all the time and I want to keep myself healthy, but the system makes it impossible to find the right doctor for my needs. That was until I found ZocDoc. ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment.
A
ZocDoc is the only reason I've been to the doctor. If I'm being honest, anytime anything in my body is going wrong, I open up that app. It's probably one of the most used apps on my phone because sometimes I can't lie. I just start to scroll around because getting to that age where like between my shoulder blades hurts and I wake up with the kind of night sweats that are so wet and nasty, I wake up cold no matter what the temperature in the house is. And I definitely should go to the doctor and I'm actually going to go this week and I'm going to open up the app right now. I think you guys should stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to Zocdoc.comIntercom to find an instantly book a top rated doctor today. That's z d o c.com Intercom Zocdoc.com Intercom.
C
This is Sophia from OK, Story Time. The wait is over. The next up Music finals are here on September 26th, TikTok Live and iHeartRadio bring you the biggest night in live music. Streaming directly from the legendary iHeartradio theater in LA. The top 12 artists you've been following will take the spotlight for one career defining performance judged by music gurus and industry powerhouses Tom Pullman, Chief programming officer at iHeartRadio, Bianna Murphy, program director of 102.7 Kiss FM Justina Valentine from MTV's Wild N Out and viral guitarist John DREDUP hosted by JoJo on the radio and EJ from 102.7 Kiss FM. This is the ultimate showdown. The judges will crown the next up live music winner and you have the power to decide who takes home the people's choices. Don't miss a second. Watch it all unfold live on TikTok on September 26th from 7 to 9pm Pacific Time only on the official TikTok handle, ictocliveus. Again, that's ictoclive us together. Let's witness the birth of the next music superstar.
D
This is Gemma Spake from the psychology of your 20s. So you can't get the trip out of the group chat. We have all been there but did you know there may be an easy solution. EF Ultimate Break is a group travel company for 18 to 35 year olds with over 140 itineraries all over the world. Just sign up and recruit six or more friends for a trip. You will save hundreds or even thousands of dollars. You could even travel for free. Learn more@ultimate break.com. that's EF ultimate break.com. and turn the group chat into a group trip.
F
You know what I'm realizing? We lost one of the funniest bits that's ever happened on this podcast ever.
A
What?
F
I can't even.
A
I can't even bring myself it like with that audio. So we'll have it and we could put it on Patreon. It'll just be the worst audio ever.
F
I can't even bring myself to say it. But guys, I discovered a new evil in this world. I think it's one of the most evil things to ever happen to this world. And I'm just now realizing it. And some of y' all might even exist inside of it. But I think loft apartments are dark sided. I think they're very inhumane. I think they like an industrial loft apartment with like the duct work above. That's creepy. No human deserve to live like that. On top of that.
A
I can't believe that. Like, God, it's. It's crazy what we get sold as a vibe. Like we get sold so many things that are just like. Well, biohazards is like, yeah, that's. That can't be good for you. The dust.
F
Yeah, the dust of it all. Like the, the open floor plan, like no walls. I'm sorry, that's another thing.
A
I think you should go to jail.
F
An open concept house is crazy. Like you need four walls. You need four walls. You need a room.
A
Every house has four walls.
F
No, I'm saying for a room, like, you need four walls. My gosh.
A
Well, yeah, A room is four walls. Oh, okay. I know what you mean. But I feel like most open concept houses I'm thinking of, like the living room and dining room are kind of like coexisting. You know what? I. I don't know. I think I do agree. Only because. No, I do agree. I do agree. Every house, I'm like, now that I'm thinking about it, every home that I've been in that has that co. Mingle.
F
Yeah.
A
Also turn the TV off.
F
No, the TV does not need to be on.
A
Turn it off, turn it down. And people have their phones still. And then like people are talking and it's like the kind of overstimulation that isn't even good because I didn't pick what's on the tv. I'm not picking the conversation. And I'm like, I'm not in control. Like, turn something off.
F
I do think I will Be a person once. And if I own a home where the TV will always be on. I was. I. I forget.
A
Okay. Depending on where it lands, like, it's.
F
Gonna be gay porn, obviously on the screen. That's, like, homophobic of you to say anything negative about that.
A
Any kind of porn would be weird. Dude, that's like. You're a porn addict. Yeah, that's the vibe. You know what's crazy is, like, there is definitely someone out there who has like a. A small TV in their room or like, in a room that always has something like that playing. And they're like, that's so.
F
Like, that's what gooning. That's what a goon cave is.
A
No, but you know what I mean. You know exactly what kind of person I'm talking about.
F
I'm not talking about the septum is pierced.
A
Not even the step. No, that's different. This is like some, like, bastard who just is, like, annoying is. They're just annoying. They could recognize a single stitch on a T shirt. You like, that kind of person has, like, porn playing on a TV 247 and then like a pink light on and it's like, oh, that's.
F
It's weird.
A
I'm really scared.
F
But, yeah, loft apartments are cursed. Open concepts are cursed. I'll be a person with a TV playing all the time.
A
But what's going to be on the tv? Like, actually basketball. Okay.
F
I love basketball.
A
That sucks. Like, I don't know, Like, HGTV is a better answer to me.
F
Tlc?
A
No, TLC has some. Like, actually, even HGTV is pushing it like that.
F
What's on TLC anymore?
A
I don't know.
F
I think TLC is, like, very voyeuristic, right? It's like.
A
Yeah, that's the whole. It's like. It's supposed to be like the Learning Channel. Oh, I'm learning that half of you are batshit.
F
Y' all are evil for consuming this.
A
I'm learning, dad. I'm low key obsessed with being a fly on the wall. What?
F
Yeah, no, I need to see it all.
A
I want to see everything. Also, New age reality TV is obviously, like streamers, but I don't want to be this person. But I don't think anybody under 18.
F
Should be streaming, like, oh, no, no, no. Like, I. I thought you meant. I thought you meant, like, like Netflix and. But you mean like Twitch streamers?
A
Yeah, like, that's New age reality tv because it's people getting fully invested in this person's life. Except it's actually what people Always assumed reality TV would be so. So many people are like remote now with it.
F
Like, they're like, so many people are going to know. They're like on the go, you know?
A
Yeah, they're like out and about. Oh, yeah. Not remote. They're like out and about as so.
F
Many people are gonna develop like voyeurism kinks from that shit and they're not even realizing it.
A
I would go as far as to say I remember go going on like Twitch marathons. Like, going on a live stream. Marathon is not a new thing. That was a thing on like you now. Like, I think I've like attempted that before.
F
Like, Ellen would stream for like multiple.
A
Days in a row, which is crazy. Like, crazy.
F
She would be like sleeping on stream.
A
And like, that's like insane. Not, not any commentary on her doing it. Because I think, no, you have to.
F
Be a crazy person to sleep on stream.
A
But not only, like, it's crazy how that gets normalized. And I'm like, guys, seriously, some alone time is necessary. But now we've gone to this weird place of people are so alone, but they're constantly with someone in some odd way, whether it's like streaming like on FaceTime, which I remember growing up, that was a thing of like.
F
Remember FaceTiming and like doing your laundry?
A
No, no, not FaceTiming. Like FaceTiming and going to sleep and staying on Face FaceTime. Like, do you remember that?
F
Did we do that?
A
I don't know if we ever did.
F
I don't think we ever did.
A
Like, I would do that with like people I had a crush on. Now, now to me.
F
Oh my God, leave me the alone.
A
God, you territorial demonic spirit who is attempting to haunt me. Like, oh my God, you're literally trying to haunt me. Like you're trying to haunt my days and my nights. Like, that's crazy. Why would you ever want to be on the phone with somebody for that long? And then I'm like, damn, there are people who keep up with a stream that whole time. And I'm like, oh, that kind of makes me bummed because I'm like, I'm glad you're not alone. But like, this is really crazy. Like, this is insane.
F
If you're a grown ass man watching a Twitch streamer, you're gay.
A
Yeah.
F
Period.
A
Actually, no. No, I don't think so.
F
No, that's. It's like I saw in Mills make a video saying that if you're a man and you're born in the month of May, you're gay. Let Alone the first week of May. Like, that's the gayest week to be born. That's a girl's week to be born. Realest I've ever heard. It's on the same level for me if you're grown ass.
A
I think I know a few guys born in the first week of May.
F
Gay. All of them?
A
Yeah. I don't think any of them are.
F
Guy, but they are.
A
Yeah. In spirit. One can be gay in spirit. What was that girl? That girl who was arguing that basically about lesbians. I like, should not be like, do you know about that? No, there's. There's this like, girl. I am like, so far detached. But it like, just cracked me up because I can't believe people say crazy again. Like, shoot. Don't shoot the messenger in terms of like saying. Saying crazy is bad. But she, she was like making some comment. Oh, she was basically implying that like, you can't say if you're gay or lesbian because you never know. Like, if you're a lesbian, the right man might show up for you. Like, which is like, okay, I guess in that world, like, yeah, the right person can show up for anybody. Like, in that world, like, the aliens can actually show up up in November and like, do whatever they want and party till the, like, break of dawn.
F
Like, I don't know, party till the roof of dawn.
A
Party till the roof falls off.
F
Party till the floor caves in. That's another goated video.
A
What's up?
F
People might have died, actually. I don't know. But they were at like a house party and like they were dancing and the floor collapsed into the basement. But I just saw.
A
I think I know what you're talking about.
F
I just saw recently that one of the of the guys that fell in to the basement, their underwear got hooked on a banister and they got like, like the ultimate wedgie. They fell like six feet and he got hooked by his underwear.
A
Stuff like that sounds like, oh, you know what's fucked up is I don't know if. Do kids have like, weird fake lie stories that they got told anymore? Like, are there like, don't turn the.
F
Lights on in the car, the cops can pull you over?
A
Yeah, like that has to be a thing.
F
Definitely still a thing. Or even like, especially now with millennial parents, liars and snakes.
A
Oh my God, I would love to be a parent to lie to my kid. I've always said that though. Oh, that just sounds fun. I love flying to kids.
F
My kid, I'm going to go up to him and be like, you have cancer. I'm sorry.
A
Oh my God.
F
You need to start a gofundme for.
A
Me that goes into my apple cash. I think if my kid was like eight and they wanted to like start drop shipping things and scamming kids at school, I would follow them on that journey.
F
Really?
A
Yeah. Someone's gonna do it to him.
F
Drop shipping is like fairly normal, but.
A
At this point, yeah, I mean, by then I guess he'll be old news. Drop shipping will be old news by then. Like we, I, I will be so curious unironically how many in real life shopping experiences there even will be by the time we have kids who are conscious enough to go.
F
The first like school hustle was like selling like candy and chips at school and then it evolved into selling fake airpods at school and now it's giving hearts. Yeah, yeah. They're selling cart nights at school, dude.
A
They literally sell like carts and puff bars and stuff.
F
Eric Cartman. Has anyone said that that?
A
Has anybody made an Eric Cartman cart? Somebody has.
F
That's like too easy.
A
Yeah, no, I need to find that.
F
Well, guys, I've caved and I finally bought labo and I think they're fake.
A
I love them.
F
But yeah, I caved and I finally bought labo boos. I wasn't doing it because I wasn't buying them because I thought they were like stupid. I just wasn't buying them because they didn't resonate with me. I support a blind box with my whole heart. I think blind boxes are very special and I will start my own one day very soon. Coming soon. But never got into the labu boos. They didn't hit for me, but I was on whatnot because my twin sister was doing like a whatnot live stream selling things. So I downloaded the app because I wanted to watch her and support her. And I clicked on the top live stream I saw and it was a guy opening the labo boos, pulling them out of the labu packaging and then showing it and then starting like a live bid. And if you don't know what whatnot is, it's like ebay mixed with like tik tok live streams where like PE people are like selling things on there and you can bid live and there's like a 10 second period where you can bid and. And this dude will just like open a labubu and be like, okay, guys, I'm starting the bid and it starts at $0 and then it goes up very quickly to $50. I sat in there for literally 20 minutes. He sold 74 of those things for no less than $45. Each one of them sold for some of them. Sold for $80. It was fucking crazy. And I was like, oh, damn. There's like real money in this. My first Labubu purchase was fully an accident. I accidentally won a fucking bidding war.
A
Okay.
F
But like, for 48, I bought a.
A
Open to a bidding war. Like, did you accidentally.
F
No, no, no, no. They make it so easy to bid. Like, I accidentally swiped the button in the bottom. Like, it was crazy. I was like, I literally just accidentally spent $48 on probably a fake Labubu. It's probably fake for like legitimately. Like, I don't even know if that series is real.
A
I don't know if it's fake or not though. But I'm sure there's ways to tell because I was at that.
F
It had. It has like a letter on it and like a tramp stamp with a letter. I got one. Yeah. It has like a question mark. Tramp stamps.
A
Butt.
F
Yeah. And like a bead.
A
Oh, it does?
F
Yeah.
A
Because I. I took the X1, so I have the X lab.
F
Oh, yeah. I didn't even tell you I bought a second one. But I thought the X was chic because I was like, oh, if I ever have a kid named like, if I ever have a kid, I want to name him Xeno. And I was like, oh, like Xeno?
A
Is that for real?
F
Yeah, xc. You know though, that's not Xeno. And Mantis like Xenomorph.
A
That's gonna soon be considered a form of child abuse. Cuz who the is taking. Honestly, I'm being the living at a Mantis. Mantis is getting beat the up by me. I'm literally gonna break her heart.
F
You didn't even think about Karma. You didn't even. You don't remember Karma? Karma, Mantis and Xena know.
A
The three.
F
Two girls and a boy. And the boy is going to be older to protect the little girls.
A
Two girls, one Zeno.
F
Yeah.
A
You said the two girls are going to protect the little boy.
F
No, I said the boy is going to be older to protect the little girls. Do you remember my Yeezys in like 2015, 2016, I had the turtle dove Yeezys and I think they were called like the pirates. They were the easy 350s.
A
You're like, the more you add on. I don't know. I don't. You know, I would know, but I don't know the numbers and names and stuff. I would have to see A picture.
F
That's what I'm doing. Well, I. I paid a lot of money for these shoes.
A
Oh, yeah, I do.
F
I paid. I paid a lot of money. And I was like, oh, the more money I spend, the less or the more likely they're gonna be real. So, like, it would. These. Like, I bought. Bought the OG Turtle doves, and I bought a black pair as well. And, like, I spent a ton. It was in the peak of the hype, and I, like. And I. In my head, I was like, oh, the more money I spend, the. Like, they'll. Yeah, that obviously ye.
A
Olden way of navigating online.
F
And I was like, oh, yeah, of course. Like, these are real. Those were the most fake shoes I've ever seen in my life. And, like, I fully, fully would walk around in them thinking they were real. Like, I own that I would tell people they were real. Like, these were real.
A
I never. I'm not kidding. Like, I never questioned it.
F
Yeah. Like, I was like, these are real. I, like, saw them. I went back to Texas, like, randomly, and my parents, like, had moved out of the house, and, like, they kept those, like, in a storage unit. And I saw them. They looked like dust. They look like the balls of hair that Azul leaves in the corner of the staircase. Like, literally, like, they look like.
A
What have they just, like, disintegrated or they were just, like, worn to death?
F
No, they were worn to death, and they just looked like. Like, they just looked fake. Like, they literally just looked.
A
I wish you took a picture, like, brought them back.
F
I know. I'm gonna see if I can find them in. In the storage unit again, because, like, it was hilarious, but, like, no shade. These are kind of chic. Like, I kind of, like, I was.
A
I'm not gonna lie, Drew. I was just about to say the complete opposite. I was gonna. I was gonna say, I can't believe those got sold old. Like, those are, like.
F
I mean, for the time, though, they were. They. These were really.
A
Yeah, that was during the era of, like, huarachis.
F
Yeah.
A
Like, so it was like, that shape was a. Yeah. But then, like, those balenciagas, the ones that look like socks came out, and it was a time you just had to be.
F
You had to be there. You had to be sentient there.
A
Yeah. You had to be cognizant. Like, cognizant. Is that the word? Question mark. Yeah. Right. Right.
F
Esthetician.
A
Oh, my God. You did. Remember. Oh, was that, like. Did we lose that? Oh, God damn it. Was that the thing that you were like, we lost.
F
Yeah.
A
Ah, that's so awful.
F
But yeah, I. That ass got scammed. I've been scammed a few times in my life, but that one just popped in my head. Recently.
A
I got scared. My first time getting scammed was for my friend Patrice's birthday in like, like 11th grade. We would always, like, we were really into joking about like hypebeast culture and I wanted to get him a real babe zip up because like, obviously as much as we were joking about it, we knew it was cuz deep down, like, we wish we could have that kind of like. And I found like a resale one for like 150, which I think was like, too cheap for what it was supposed to be.
F
But it was zipped all the way up.
A
Yeah. And. But it was like kind of beat up and like, so I was like, this might be real. That was such a scam. Oh my God, I was so mad. I was literally so mad. Because also, that was like a lot of money. That was me. Like, I was.
F
That's a ton of money still.
A
Yeah. And I was like bawling out because I had like. That was like a friend or that's a friend I've known since like, oh my God. I've known this one since like second grade or something. So I was like, oh, this is like, funny because we like got close that year. They scam me. So then I never bought a gift for anybody ever again. I'm so mad. And now I just like, I don't get people gifts.
F
Yeah.
A
I don't believe in like the.
F
Those kind of simply not true.
A
I know. I know. I just can't stop buying gifts.
F
I know. Like, me and you are gifted. I like, I hate receiving gifts, but I love giving gifts. I like the idea of someone getting something for me. Me, like, like, annoys me, literally. Not true. I love getting gifts. But like, the performance that you have to put on is so scary. Like, I wish I could get her a gift and be like, oh my God, thank you so much. And that be enough. But it's like, never enough. Like, it'll never be enough. But like giving someone a gift and watching them have to perform, I'm like, yeah, dance. Like perform, baby. Like, do it.
A
Don't play with my.
F
Don't play with that. That he's about to.
A
He wants me to go to bed so bad, bro. He's like, actually so annoying. Yeah. I don't like, I don't like getting gifts at all. It makes me so uncomfortable. I'd much rather Just buy something that I want.
F
Yeah, but no, like getting a good.
A
Gift obviously makes me happy and I'm lucky enough that like I have friends who like shower me in gifts. But it does always like, I hate when somebody like is trying to prod at what I want. Want.
F
I'm like, you should already know.
A
Not even that. I'm just like, don't get me something. Cuz I'm also just like, I have. It has to be even. I have to do it back. I must, I must, I must, I must, I must, I must.
F
That's why I give everyone gifts is.
A
Because I'm like, then you get gifts.
F
Back and if you do that to 10 people, you get 10. 10 gifts. Yes.
A
But then I guess you have to invest in giving out 10 gifts.
F
Yeah. No, I was telling someone the other day where I was like. Or I was like, I literally would. I mean this is, this is literally not a hot take at all but like literally make something for me. Like draw. Write a letter. That. That's so cute. Do a cute little drawing or some like put some heart in it. I don't need a material gift. Yeah, an earthly pleasure.
A
That's my vibe.
F
Unless it's like sick as super custom.
A
Like unless it's like super rare, super vintage, super like eclectic. Something I would have never thought to spend my own money.
F
Exactly.
A
I'm of in the vibe of. I'm definitely asking for bed sheets this year. I usually ask for because it's getting around that time. Like we got to start thinking about what we're going to ask people for.
F
I can't. That's so scary. I don't want anything. I'm so like not passionate about life in general that like the idea of like thinking about telling someone what to get me is horrifying. I don't even want to be alive.
B
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F
So it's like oh, you're gonna get me a gift. I'm just gonna kill myself next year. Anyways, you're gonna get it back, babe. I cannot believe I got addicted to bidding on whatnot. Like I really, I really did. But I kind of like was with people a little bit where like I would just make the bid go higher in those 10 seconds so they would have to spend more.
A
Yeah. What the.
F
I became Evil.
A
I had a whole arc, I guess. Like, once you accidentally bid, you just went.
F
I was pissed. I was. I wanted. It's like hurt people. Hurt people. Like, I did not want to spend $48, so I'm gonna make other people.
A
But you ended up doing it again anyway, so how badly did you not.
F
Got addicted to it? I literally got addicted to it.
A
Do you think you'd be the kind of person who's really addicted to, like, the casino?
F
No, I don't have that in me. I'm like, really?
A
I feel like I'm kind of too lazy. Like, what do you mean? I have to go somewhere. Like, And I'm somebody who, like, I. I like. I love shopping and whatnot. But, like, I really just. I don't understand. Like, at least with like, arcade, like, yeah, you know, I know I'm gonna get candy. Like, I'm down to spend a hundred.
F
Dollars to get two jolly ranchers to.
A
Get a sour straw, I guess, or something like that hundred dollars includes, like, the tickets and then also, like, a snack and a drink. And I'm like, like, that sounds amazing. Yeah, but a casino? What it's. I'm gonna smell like shitty butt cigarette and lose money.
F
Yeah, I've. I've gambled twice in my life and I'm up all the time, so I'll never gamble again, like, at a casino.
A
I mean, that's like me with Fortnite. The last time I played was a victory royale. And I haven't up. Picked, picked up good since I got that crown. I keep that crown on me. I keep that crown on me.
F
Crown royale.
A
Oh, I just wish, like, something was actually. No, there's, like, a lot to look forward to. Life has only just begun for a lot of us. And I refuse to be a part of the pessimism.
F
I've decided you created the pessimism. You were the. The co. Creator. You and the devil.
A
Nah, me and the devil walking side by side. No, I give everyone else, like, for their ventures in life, optimism, for the most part, at least in my, like, circle. Everyone else, like, I feel like I'm a great cheerleader for. But for, like, myself and gp, literally. Get the out of my face.
F
Gp General public. Oh, I never heard of that. Gdp, Gross Domestic Product.
A
What?
F
Gdp, Gross Domestic Product.
A
What? What the is that?
F
It's like the GDP of a country is like, like $17 billion. I love a hot car.
A
I'm going to smoke. Like, I'm not kidding.
F
I love being in a hot car. Okay, guys, we're back. I love a hot car. I really do. I love sitting in a hot car. I love getting in a hot car on a summer day. And sweating reminds me I'm a life.
A
I don't know why that's something you like, because to me, it's, like, actually the worst part of a day. Also, recently, all I can think about is how every car only has one person in it.
F
Oh, when I pointed that out to you, did that. That literally greened you out?
A
Like, or you. You've said that a few times, and I've just been like, whatever. But I think it was recently we were together. We were together, but I think, like, the day before that, that I was, like, in a rush somewhere, and I had looked forward into, like, all the cars, and I was like, damn.
F
I have an idea.
A
Like, if we were all on our.
F
Feet, I have an idea.
A
Running.
F
I have a really good idea.
A
Okay, What?
F
We should make really big cars that have, like, 50 seats in them.
A
Wait, how would you even do that?
F
I don't know. They're really long, and they have, like, 50 seats and one driver. Driver. And it has multiple stops throughout the city, and you stop at, like, a stop and you can walk to your house. It'll. You have to walk still, but you.
A
It just makes the walk shorter.
F
Yeah. And it gets less cars off the road pollutes the earth less.
A
It's like, what if we, like, dug holes, like, down, and we could put, like, under the escalators. Yeah, and we could put, like, escalators and elevators and stuff and stairs so people could, like. We would go down there, and it. It would be, like the long car thing you were talking about.
F
But it's super.
A
Yeah. Well, it couldn't be just one super long car because, like, for it to turn and stuff, it would need that mobility.
F
Yeah.
A
So it could be, like, carts attached.
F
How would you do that?
A
I'm not kidding. Like, genuinely, how the do they do that?
F
I know. It's so crazy. How is any. How is any. Like, how did anybod figure out how to do anything? Like, no, like, how did someone, like, make this challenge? Or, like, a glass bottle? Like, who thought of that? Who thought of that?
A
Who the was lighting sand on fire?
F
Yeah. Who melted silicone?
A
I guess it's not that crazy. Like, what? Somebody had to have, like, been in Sicily, like, making a fire pit on the beach. And why is that big?
F
Now everything is empty space.
A
What do you mean? Everything is empty space.
F
Like, inside of an atom, it's mostly empty space, but somehow it's solid.
A
I just don't even believe in all that. Like, I do, I do, I do. I don't want that. Like, oh my God. That's the last thing.
F
It doesn't believe in atoms.
A
The last thing I need is somebody to think. Like, I'm like a non science, like, believer or whatever the. But I just can't comprehend it because half the time I'm trying to. To figure out this world is magical. My feeling of being alive is what every human feels. I'm like, does every f. Human like, feel like, do people feel more than what I feel? Is this it?
F
I know. I think everyone feels the exact same. People are just better at. Better equipped at handling it with like the chemicals they were given at birth.
A
I don't even mean that. Like, I love my life. Like, I. I'm like, very grateful for my life. I literally mean, like, if I think too much about existing, I'm just like, bro. What? Like, I'm just like, what am I even thinking about?
F
Like, I smokes weed one time, you know, like that.
A
Because there's like the idea of like, saunder.
F
I'm the exact same way. Like, I literally, like, it's so. Ooky. Spooky.
A
Yeah. I'm just like, this is literally it. And does every human feel this way? Question mark. But there are some people who genuinely are just like, living free because. Because they're able to just like swallow that this is it and they're like, party, party. Like when Alaska was trying to stay winning. Party, party.
F
Can I eat pizza that's been sitting on the counter for two days?
A
I really don't think you should.
F
I looked it up and it says two hours, but I'm like, I feel like I've eaten pizza that's been sitting on the counter for like six months. Like. Like I feel like it's safe also. This is a whole, like, we shut all of the doors and you still hear it. I heard him. They won't be able to, but it was very faint and cute.
A
I'm really scared that Azul's gonna like, pee on something to get mad at me.
F
Yeah. Like, he's misbehaving.
A
Yeah, he's been acting out because I haven't been actually. I. That's the thing is. Oh, my God. Having a cat with separation anxiety is actually so annoying because I spent three days in a row just sitting around with him all day and it still wasn't enough.
F
Like, it'll never be enough.
A
It will never be enough for that ass cat. Like, wow, wow.
F
Like, it'll never be enough. Guys. Baddy Winkle died.
A
Wait, did she?
F
Actually, I think. Unless it's fake news.
A
Well, remember like, I think like last summer or something. I was like trying to figure out if she was still here.
F
Apparently she died on September 4th this year. Yeah, a. That's really tragic. Rest in peace. We lost Baddy Winkle and. Yeah, she. They posted on the Instagram. We lost Baddy Winkle and Rolling Ray in the same week.
A
Damn, dude. That is actually so hard.
F
Someone told me recently death comes in three celebrity deaths. Who's next?
A
Hopefully no one. Hopefully. This is the miracle. That's only two. Wow. Sit with that. Like what?
F
I hope it's Trump. I hope it's Trump.
A
I hope it works out, dude. I. Whoa. They're like pumping that thing with like, I don't know what they're putting in that thing to keep it going, but I really. Like, he seems like he's supposed to be dead. Like he's like rotting.
F
They replaced him with a robot. He runs on motor oil. I mean, actually, before he died, he ran on motor oil. Like he just looks like a. That would drink like natural gas.
A
Yeah. Yeah.
F
Is natural gas liquid, liquid or is it gas? Is natural gas a liquid or gas? Natural gas is a gas, not a liquid or a solid. It's lighter than air. Wait, but then how do they turn it into gasoline?
A
I don't know.
F
You're like scared gasoline.
A
I don't know. Gas is just the stuff I put in my car. Stuff like that's the kind of that I'm talking about is like I was talking to my therapist about it and I've had to like allot myself. Like I've been trying to do a good job of allotting myself real thinking time and then like play thinking time. And I've been doing like a week and a half where I just like supercharge a bunch of information about everything happening and then I take like a four day break and you're really impeding on my four day break with all this talk about like gas and stuff. It's just. Just like it's really cramping my style.
F
Yeah, but that's how my brain works. My mom yesterday or two days ago on the phone was like, drew, like, you're weird. Like you're a weirdo. And I was like, what? Why? Like she said it out of nowhere and she was just like. Me and Meline were talking about you like while we were driving. No, they were talking about me. Like they.
A
It was Actually such a funny conversation. We were saying, like, you're just the weirdest person we've ever met.
F
No, literally. But they were, like, saying that. That, like. Like when I'm driving and someone's in the passenger seat and tell me if this is true. Because I was like, I don't do that. But, like, I'll be driving and it'll be dead silent, and then I'll, like, be like, hey, can you look this up for me?
A
Yeah, you do do that, like, all the time. All the time.
F
Is that weird?
A
Yeah, and it sucks. See, I will say you don't do it to me as often because of my car sickness. Sickness. But, like, there are times where you're, like, hell bent on it, and I'm just like, dude. Like, it's also just like the. Like.
F
No, it's random. I'm sure stupid.
A
Ever. And then, like, the thing that's funny is you get the information. You do what you just did. You have. Oh, okay. Like, it's like, okay.
F
But then it stays in my brain forever. I'll never forget that natural gas is gas.
A
That natural gas is what?
F
Gas.
A
Okay. And how do they turn it into gasoline?
F
I didn't read the article.
A
Okay. Yeah. Are you gonna read it for real?
F
I. Dead. Dead serious. I'll probably turn my shower on and let it get hot. And while it's getting hot, I'll read it. I'll learn, I guess.
A
Yeah. Like, that's a good thing to be watching. Like, what? I can't think of, like, what I watch in my.
F
Why do I need to know that? Like, what is that gonna change about my life? Truly?
A
I. I don't know. Because I guess it doesn't necessarily, like, add to your day to day.
F
That's what I'm saying.
A
Because I'm trying to think of things, like, I watch in. I watch a lot of, like, weird crafting things about, like, comic artists. Like, I've been into drawing, so I've been watching a lot of stuff like that.
F
It's an E. And that kind of.
A
Like, adds to my thing. Is your thing like an ego thing?
F
Mine's. Mine's an ego.
A
Because you want to be smart.
F
Yeah, I think that's where it's coming from.
A
But I guess you've always been, like, academically leaning, though.
F
Like, even growing up, I've been academically drinking lean. You mathematically drink.
A
I think you probably got real lean, like, three times.
F
Probably not. It's probably fake every time now. Zany bars, zanny.
A
Who has.
F
How has Cokes or Zanny, bro?
A
Wait, where were we, dude? We do this really annoying thing where we go places where people obviously actually do all these actions, but we will just, out loud, start talking about, like.
F
How has Cokes or Zannies, bro?
A
Like, do you think anybody here would be willing to sell me one of their Perkins cassettes? Like, saying like that out loud. And I mean, like, it's so annoying that the bathrooms don't have, like, a proper place to do a bump here.
F
I know. There's literally never the time nor the place for us. It's always now or never.
A
Oh, what the does that mean? Like, why did you say that to me, like, unironically? Is that. Was that, like.
F
No, I meant, like, we just. We just say everything in the places of which you want to be. Because if you were. That, we would figure it out. No, we would know.
A
Yes, she would. Yes.
F
Then you would go, if I eat at the Snope. No, I didn't.
A
Snope?
F
Yeah.
A
Moop. Do you know about moop?
F
Moop?
A
You don't know about Moop? Meep, meep. No. You're low key. Like, so stupid for not knowing what moop.
F
How about now?
A
I don't think that's funny because I literally will.
F
I've been doing a thing recently, recently where I'll put a bunch of food in my mouth and open my mouth and show the food. I'm pushing 30, I think, but I have fun. I have fun also.
A
Like, I. I've been saying for the uk, you guys could look it up. I'm not afraid of aging, and I'm genuinely, like, so excited to be hot and 30. How your parents raised you, and you were, like, most definitely around an infant. Like, a lot of people had kids around, like, our listeners when they were our age. Oh, my God, that's so scary.
F
Yeah, I'm supposed to have a kid.
A
Right now, and look how up you are. So we are nothing.
F
Look how fucked up we are.
A
I know. And yeah, look at how that up we are. Like, we are nothing short of what, like, we're actually doing. Doing the world so many favors by resting in our arrested development instead of, like, trying to tackle the world and, like, act like I'm bigger. Like, oh, no, I'm dumb as rocks. Also, like, bruh, I don't give a. I was gonna say something before that, and I forgot.
F
Do you believe in gay people?
A
No.
F
Why? Why?
A
I just don't. Like, I don't really understand it.
F
Would you wear a dead man's Clothes. Hell no. Hell no.
A
Okay, we need to stop.
F
Hell no. You know what I'm referencing, right? Yeah, the.
A
Like, the thrift store or. Not the thrift store. Did they ever. I never. We never found out if they made an episode.
F
I think they did, but they got clowned and they deleted it. No, I watched 10 minutes of it before it got deleted, though. And then I literally could not take it anymore. Oh, my God. It is 1:40 in the morning and we got to be up in five hours. Dam challenge Z Zaddy. The final thought I have is I was texting Jeff tonight, and he said that. That on Tik Tok, there's a conversation being had right now, six months clean. There's.
A
You're on reels. Like, it's so low.
F
It's even worse. It's so crazy on there. It's, like, really scary. It's really creepy. I've never seen more vitriolic hate in my life for just pure strangers than I have on Instagram reels. Like, the comment sections are diabolical.
A
That is so crazy.
F
Like, the meanest I've ever seen.
A
Because I feel like Tik Tok comments are evil.
F
It's. It's exponentially worse. Like, it's the most heinous I've ever seen commented ever in my life. But it's funny.
A
Instagram is, like, connected to your Facebook. So, like, that feels very, like, brazen. Because I feel like so much of t talk. There's, like, an enemy. Yeah. And people are, like, resting in that to be cuckoo bananas. But, like, oh, my God.
F
Cuckoo nutty nut nut what?
A
Exactly.
F
There you go. There you go. But Jeff was telling me that there's, like, this conversation being had right now. And, like, you know when you, like, see something and you're like, oh, I didn't know that was a universal experience. I thought I was supposed to special. Like, what. What is an example of that? Like, walking down the underwear aisle and looking at the bulges.
A
Oh, yeah. And thinking that's, like.
F
To you. Yeah. Like, that's a universal experience. Well, this one was one that I genuinely did not know. I thought this only happened to me as a young gay man, but it happened to Jeff, and it's a whole conversation online right now. Now when I went under anesthesia. Anesthesia. The two times that I needed surgeries, or the three times my biggest fear was accidentally coming out, like, of the closet to, like, my family.
A
That's probably, like, a huge fear for any gay.
F
I. I remember getting my wisdom teeth out and, like, you Know how everyone's like, oh. Which, by the way, everyone's lying and faking it. Everyone's judging it up. Everybody wants the viral clip. Like, you're not actually acting like that. But, like, whatever. But I feel like I was scared.
A
Like, I'd be tweaking.
F
I was so scared of coming out. I would, like. I would literally, like, freak the out in my head. Like, it was. It was. It was crazy.
A
That's so sad.
F
Yeah.
A
Well, what's the.
F
Like, I never came out. Still haven't.
A
You don't have to.
F
Thank you.
A
Some people don't have to.
F
I agree with that. I agree with some people.
A
Could stay in there forever.
F
Yeah, I agree.
A
You'll be in there forever. That's okay.
F
Thank you.
A
I can see you. I can see you peeking through. I see you.
F
I see the type of person that you are.
A
No peeking. You either stay in there, you get out. No peeking.
F
Can I go back second?
A
No, you can't.
F
That was. That was the last thing I wanted to talk about. So I talked about the sidekick. Loft departments are evil. What? Or Lao Boo. What not. Oh, the greatest video of all time. The most. The most embarrassing. This is my media for the week. The most embarrassing thing I've ever seen posted to the Internet in my entire life. Like, it is mortifying. And it's, like, literally not even funny how. How, like, intimate of a moment this is for this man that just got broadcasted everywhere. Like, I literally. I don't know how you can continue living after this moment.
A
And I do worse than the guy who, like, drops down and his penis comes out.
F
That is just. That is a clap. That is a good moment. Like, that is. That is one of the best things that's ever happened to that man.
A
I mean, I'm sure for him it was a nightmare.
F
Yeah, it was probably terrible.
A
But also wanted to kill himself.
F
It's still out there. Like, oh, my God.
A
That's.
F
Who posted that. That. That's evil to post.
A
Like, he should definitely take that person to call. Unless he thinks it's funny.
F
Digging balls out. Not a bad penis. I'll be honest. A decent penis. So he should be proud.
A
Yeah. I think that's the only video of a penis suddenly bursting into a frame of, like, a video that I wasn't, like, completely mortified, offended by and disgusted by. Like, that's a video that has replay value to me because it's just so funny. Like, such a good lighting, too. It makes it a bit more like.
F
Is that a wedding? Like, like, yeah, he's dropping it low at a wedding.
A
He's having the best night of his life. And he probably did have the best night of his life.
F
Yeah, exactly. But this video, this is. This is horrible. Like, I genuinely feel bad for this man, and if he needs someone to talk to, he can call me. But there was an NBA player that was on a security camera standing next to an elevator. He dug in his ass. Like, went crazy. Like, dug in his ass crack. Like, duggin it. Boots down. Like, in, up in it. Like, shovel. Like, scoopy hand.
A
Okay.
F
Scooby, poopy hand. He took it out. You thought that was the end of it? No, he smelled it. He went. He went and smelled his poopy hand and then proceeded to wipe his poopy hand on the wall.
A
Wall.
F
And it was like that, like, fabric wall. So you rubbed it all over the wall and then got in the elevator and acted like nothing wrong was wrong. So, like, three heinous crimes. Digging in your ass. Like, you can survive smelling it.
A
Whoa.
F
Smelling it is, like, a step too far. Like, that's. That's something. Like, that's mortifying. But then rubbing it on the wall.
A
I think digging in your ass when you were not within 2 cm of a faucet. And so soap is the craziest vibe ever. At least hand sanitizer granted me saying all that as if I wasn't digging in my ass when we were in that dressing room.
F
Oh, my God. Yeah. Anya was up in her ass. Should we insert the clip? Yeah, we'll insert the clip. Is that on your phone?
A
I think it might be on your phone.
F
Yep. Here we go.
A
I need to see that. I don't know if we can insert that. I don't think I need that.
F
Like, yeah, you don't need that on you. You don't need that on guys. She wasn't even doing anything. She was. She literally wasn't even doing anything.
A
But okay. Wow. With all that being said. No. He is crazy. As for wiping. No, like, up in there on a fabric wall.
F
Also, like, yeah, next to the elevator.
A
Because, like, if you're dating digging in your. Why are you digging on your outside?
F
And why is there poopy on it? Why is there poopy on your butthole? And you're out of your hotel room.
A
Well, if your butt itches, it's poopy on your butt. Also, we should clarify. I. That all proceeded after, like, you told me about that story, or did you tell me that story after that?
F
Wait, what? Oh, you digging in your ass that you did that in reaction to it.
A
Yeah.
F
Okay.
A
I was just making sure. I was just making sure because I was like, oh, my God, Why did I do. Oh. But also, I should explain. No, I can't say why that was.
F
The. The. Like, what it. What is crazy to me about that video is the security camera guy that saw, like, I want to know how he found that footage. Like, did they see the skid mark on the wall? And they were like, we have to see.
A
Is there a mark on the wall?
F
There's a little mark.
A
No. No.
F
Yeah, yeah.
A
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
F
Yes. So he was sniffing his poopy fingers.
A
No.
F
And then he clicked the button.
A
Call you.
F
He clicked the button.
A
Why the would he call you?
F
Because I don't want him to kill himself.
A
That has to be illegal.
F
I'm going to see if I can.
A
Find a video that has to be.
F
Like, former NBA player caught on camera.
A
And has to be bioterrorism.
F
Man is not built in peace. He's forged in chaos. Like, he's up in there. He's not the loudest in the room.
A
He's the quiet one, grinding in silence, carrying battle. No one sees. No, he doesn't run from pain.
B
He walks through it.
A
No, no, no, no, no. Stop, stop, stop. Oh, my God. Actually, I'm not kidding. That just made me nauseous because he's trying to flick some of the poop off of the wall at one point.
F
No. He was, like, scratching it off.
A
Like, no, no, no, dude. If I don't. I. If. Like, there's just so much going through my head. If there was even a world where for some reason my hand went digging in my ass. It looks like you're in a hotel room. You're going somewhere. Not that far. It doesn't seem like you're in a rush. Turn around and go back to your hotel room and take a shower and like. Like, do something. Has to be.
F
Do you think he clicked the elevator button inside the elevator with his poopy finger?
A
Yeah. And, dude, and then he touches his phone, and then he, like, opens the.
F
Door to the hotel, to the Uber. Like, all of that. Like, no.
A
Whoa.
F
But no. Like, the security. How did they see it? How did they see it? How did they know he was digging in his butt?
A
Have any of the workers, like, I don't know.
F
I don't know if they want to be known, leaking that footage. Oh, that's what I'm saying. Like, it's sad. Like, he can call me.
A
Has he said anything?
F
I don't know, I haven't looked further.
A
Now that I'm coming down from the high of what a ridiculous video that is, I feel bad. Whoa. Like.
F
Like fecal matter everywhere.
A
No, no, no.
F
Okay, let's get into media.
A
No, dude, dude, dude. There's, like, a lot. That's crazy. Seriously, seriously, seriously weird. That is crazy.
F
Have you seen the video of the girl just, like in the. In the grocery store, in the convenience store gas station and she has just like a short skirt on and she just like, it's like, it's like clockwork. Like she's done it a million, like a billion times. She just walks over and goes and then keeps walking and she like, farts a turd out.
A
Like, that's how I feel about that.
F
And then someone walks by and slips in there.
A
Film festival, John Waters. Divine. Like, literally everything about that, like what?
F
I don't know why it's. What's so fascinating to me is like, they saw the turd on the floor and they're like, we need to see who did this. Should we do media? Yeah, like Protection, Massive Attack, Tracy Thorne. Promiscuous by Timberland and Nelly Frittado Frittata and How I Roll by Britney Spears.
A
Oh, my gosh. My freaky media is Riverside by America. Sorry, doesn't make it anymore. The raw band shoot from the heart. Judy Suki. And that's it.
F
Thank you guys for watching.
A
Wait.
B
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Podcast: Emergency Intercom
Hosts: Enya Umanzor & Drew Phillips
Release Date: September 10, 2025
In this sleep-deprived, energy-drink-fueled late-night episode, Enya and Drew unpack mind-boggling personal stories, sharp cultural observations, and darkly comedic takes on everything from disastrous psychic readings and cursed apartment layouts to TikTok celebrity death discourse and public restroom horror stories. Unscripted, irreverent, and deeply online, the duo hop from absurd anecdotes to existential riffs, all while wrangling cats and prepping for an early Fashion Week trip. Expect wild tangents, unfiltered hot takes, and the kind of humor that’s only possible at 2 in the morning.
[02:33–03:25]
Quote:
F: “If you hear a screaming cat in the background, it's actually Josh.” [02:38]
[03:25–12:17]
Quotes:
F: “At one point, he literally tells me, 'Oh yeah, by the way, in the next four years, there's going to be a gay holocaust.'” [04:35]
A: “You got charged money to go play mind games with this… Maybe you were such a powerful soul.” [11:23]
[13:21–16:20]
Quote:
A: “The vibe was insane. She just sucked so bad, but was, like, begging to lead... At one point, he left.” [14:03]
[16:21–18:23]
Quote:
A: “You couldn't have made me give a this year… When I opened TikTok and I saw that, I was like, I can’t.” [16:56]
[23:09–25:15]
Quote:
F: “I think loft apartments are dark sided. I think they're very inhumane. An industrial loft apartment… That's creepy. No human deserve to live like that.” [23:18]
[27:23–29:58]
Quote:
A: “Now we've gone to this weird place of people are so alone, but they're constantly with someone in some odd way, whether it's like streaming like on FaceTime…” [28:46]
[34:06–47:30]
Quote:
F: “My first Labubu purchase was fully an accident. I accidentally won a fucking bidding war.” [35:55]
[37:09–41:29]
Quote:
A: “Those were the most fake shoes I've ever seen in my life, and, like, I fully, fully would walk around in them thinking they were real… I own that.” [38:27]
[41:29–43:51]
Quote:
F: “I wish I could get her a gift and be like, 'Oh my God, thank you so much,' and that be enough, but it’s like, never enough.” [41:36]
[50:24–53:08]
Quote:
F: “We should make really big cars that have, like, 50 seats in them.”
A: “Wait, how would you even do that?”
F: “I don’t know... It has multiple stops throughout the city...” [50:24-50:53]
[54:24–57:10]
Quote:
F: “I've never seen more vitriolic hate in my life for just pure strangers than I have on Instagram reels. Like, the comment sections are diabolical.” [62:53]
[63:51–65:36]
Quote:
F: “My biggest fear was accidentally coming out, like, of the closet, to, like, my family [under anesthesia].” [64:49]
[66:31–74:18]
Quote:
F: “He dug in his ass. Like, went crazy. Like, dug in his ass crack... then proceeded to wipe his poopy hand on the wall.” [67:23]
A: “That is just… That is a clap. That is a good moment... That is one of the best things that's ever happened…” [about penis falling out at a wedding] [66:36]
[73:40–74:18]
The episode is classic Emergency Intercom: unfiltered, loopy, and sharp, peppered with dark humor and wild confessions. The hosts’ late-night fatigue creates a particular vulnerability, making their dynamic even more unpredictable and the banter all the more chaotic and hilarious.
This episode encapsulates what makes Emergency Intercom so distinctive:
Whether they’re ruminating on the curse of open-plan kitchens or the shame of viral bodily function videos, Enya and Drew keep things both relatable and extremely, extremely weird.