we are having an identity crisis

Summary

Podcast Summary: Emergency Intercom – "We Are Having an Identity Crisis"

Episode Details

• Title: We Are Having an Identity Crisis
• Hosts: Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips
• Release Date: May 12, 2023
• Description: Emergency Intercom is a comedy podcast where Enya and Drew navigate through humorous and often absurd conversations, bringing light-heartedness to everyday situations.

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Introduction and Setting the Tone

The episode kicks off shortly after the initial advertisement segment, with Drew and Ben (likely a co-host or guest) diving straight into their signature banter. The hosts establish a playful and irreverent tone, setting the stage for an episode filled with amusing anecdotes and candid discussions.

Exploring Cultural References and Personal Anecdotes

"We Found Love in a Hellscape" Discussion

• Ben: "I think we found love in, like, a hellscape." [01:07]
• The conversation begins with a humorous twist on Lana Del Rey's song lyric "We found love in a hopeless place," altering it to "hellscape." This leads to exaggerated and playful expressions of mock violence, emphasizing the comedic nature of their interaction.

Brand Deals and Social Media Fiascos

• Drew: "I had a lock up your daughter shirt that I got from, like, Walgreens forever ago." [03:25]
• The hosts recount mishaps with brand deals, particularly focusing on inappropriate attire worn during promotional shoots. Ben shares a personal story about a failed brand deal with Glasses USA, highlighting the awkwardness and frustration that can arise from such experiences.

TikTok Adventures and Content Creation

• Ben: "I've been going down the craziest TikTok rabbit holes." [28:56]
• They delve into the complexities of TikTok, discussing phenomena like "cocaine phone" and live stream battles where creators compete for donations. The hosts express skepticism and concern over the platform's direction, critiquing its monetization strategies and the potential exploitation of younger users.

Personal Stories and Humorous Rants

Drug Dealer Horror Stories

• Ben: "We had recently switched drug dealers... he was like holding the weed like hostage." [17:02]
• Ben shares a chilling yet humorous recollection of his experiences with local drug dealers, emphasizing the eerie and unsettling vibes of these encounters. The story takes a darkly funny turn when the dealer forces young friends to prove they're not cops by introducing them to more dangerous substances.

Gravity Bong Adventures

• Ben: "I did it once out of a fireball bottle. It was crazy." [20:38]
• Drew and Ben narrate their attempts at using gravity bongs, leading to comical descriptions of uncontrollable physical reactions and the resulting embarrassment. These stories highlight their relaxed and humorous approach to personal anecdotes.

Media and Entertainment Discussions

TV Shows and Movies

• Ben: "Have you heard of Tiger King yet? It's this dude, Joe Exotic..." [06:25]
• The hosts discuss popular shows like Tiger King, Squid Game, and classic comedies such as Superbad and The Sopranos. They share their varying opinions, blending humor with genuine critique, and reminisce about memorable moments from these shows.

Music Preferences and Reflections

• Drew: "Be My Little baby." [51:55]
• They explore their music tastes, touching on artists like Death Grips and the impact of mainstream musicians like Justin Bieber. Ben humorously criticizes the authenticity of popular music streams, while Drew shares his disdain for gender-neutral bathroom designs, tying it back to their broader discussions on societal norms.

Humorous Interludes and Light-Hearted Banter

Bathroom Rants and Privilege

• Drew: "I hate being in stinky bathrooms..." [33:21]
• The conversation takes a turn towards everyday annoyances, with Drew venting about the unpleasant experiences in men's bathrooms. This segues into a discussion about societal privilege, where Ben humorously acknowledges how attractiveness can lead to unwarranted leniency.

Naming Kids and Personal Stories

• Drew: "I'm gonna name my kid Bond." [27:23]
• The hosts joke about unconventional baby names inspired by trauma bonds and celebrity influences. They share funny stories about impulsive naming decisions and the implications of such choices on personal identities.

Conclusion and Media of the Week

As the episode nears its end, Drew and Ben transition into their "Media of the Week" segment, where they briefly mention books, music, and shows they are currently enjoying. The conversation remains light-hearted, emphasizing their commitment to keeping the dialogue entertaining and relatable.

Notable Quote:

• Ben: "We must save comedy. You just can't say anymore." [47:42]

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Final Thoughts

In "We Are Having an Identity Crisis," Emergency Intercom delivers a mix of humorous storytelling, candid rants, and engaging discussions on contemporary media and personal experiences. Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips (and Ben as a recurring voice) create a relaxed and entertaining atmosphere, making the episode both relatable and laughter-inducing for listeners.

Key Takeaways:

• The episode highlights the hosts' ability to blend humor with real-life experiences, creating a dynamic and engaging conversation.
• Discussions range from pop culture and social media phenomena to personal anecdotes, showcasing the hosts' versatility in handling diverse topics.
• Notable quotes and timestamps provide memorable moments that encapsulate the episode's comedic essence.

Whether you're a long-time listener or new to Emergency Intercom, "We Are Having an Identity Crisis" offers a flavorful mix of laughter, relatability, and insightful commentary on modern life.

Transcript

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Drew]

Welcome.

[Ben]

To Emergency Intercom.

[Drew]

I was going to do, like, welcome too. This upset. Oh, you didn't. You obviously didn't pick up on that bot.

[Ben]

Yeah, I didn't pick up what you were putting down. I didn't smell what you were pooping out.

[Drew]

Why did we find love in a vibeless place?

[Ben]

I think we found love in, like, a hellscape.

[Drew]

That's what I'm saying. A hellscape is a vibeless place. It's a viless place to be if you ask me.

[Ben]

Girl, If Lana Del Rey said we found love in a hellscape, I would have busted a nut and literally busted a nut and slipped in it and broke my skull. Like.

[Drew]

One time I was talking about a crush I had on, like, a celebrity, and I just went on the craziest, nastiest. I was like, if they squirt, I would only be so lucky to, like, be running down the hallway and, like, slip in it and get a concussion and wake up in a hospital bed. And, like, the only thing they could give me is IV fluid of their squirt to, like, bring me back to life like crazy. And I was all up top of dome.

[Ben]

But we were just in our separate environments just now, and I was, like, on Tick tock while they were setting up in here or I don't know what the y' all were doing in here. I heard weird sounds. But anyways, I was scrolling on Tick Tock and I heard. Or I found this account that, like, makes T shirts. The shirts are actually sick, and I literally am gonna buy one if she sells them or if they sell them. I don't know. But the. Basically what she does is she takes the shirts and she cuts up the letters of the shirts and, like, makes them into, like, different ones. Like, there was a hello Kitty one that said she made it say, like, I am a toilet. And then she. She just like, em or sews it into the shirt. It's really Ill. But. Oh, my God. Why did I just say ill? You need to say, why did I just say that? That was really. That was weird as super true. No, I've been trill. For real, Ben, Trill. But she pulled out this baby onesie. It's a onesie for an infant that says, lock up your daughters baby Gap 1989. Crazy vibe, dude.

[Drew]

That's, like, such a common thing. They still sell those shirts. That's the crazy thing is we've gone so far in society, but we're still giving little baby boys. Lock up your daughters. Yeah, your daughter's been a running high. Your daughter better.

[Ben]

I'm gonna kill your daughters. My son is gonna kill your daughter.

[Drew]

Like, oh, he's so handsome. Yeah, he's gonna literally daughter lock him.

[Ben]

Up in the basement.

[Drew]

Yeah, I had a. I had a lock up. I had a lock up your daughter shirt that I got from, like, Walgreens forever ago. And I remember I was doing a brand deal for this watch company, and I.

[Ben]

Was it Daniel Wellington, I think. Yeah. Oh, dude. My dead brother loved my Daniel Wellington watch. Loved it. But I actually got it back.

[Drew]

Really? Why?

[Ben]

Because he died. I wanted it back so bad for, like, years, and he wouldn't give it back to me. And then.

[Drew]

So you did that?

[Ben]

I won in the end.

[Drew]

Well, actually, no. It was for a glasses company. It was for Glasses usa. But I had that shirt on, and it's a picture of me, like, sitting at a table. But, like, you could see the shirt on, which I don't know why I thought, I'm shooting a brand deal. I should wear my lock up your daughter shirt. Like, I don't know why I thought that was gonna slide. But they were like, can she retake this with a different shirt? And I was like, oh, you're so annoying.

[Ben]

I know that boiled your blood. Because that would have pissed me the off.

[Drew]

I was like, these pictures eat. You're, like, literally tripping. Like, I'm gonna post them. And that. That photo did eat, but I think I had to edit it. So if you see the shirt, it looks like just a black shirt or something. Like, I. I edited it somehow that. I didn't say that.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Which I don't know how I did it. Maybe in phase two. And I don't know. I don't know how to. I'm not a Photoshop kind of girl. Like, honestly, if something. If someone held the gun to my head and was like, you need to Photoshop this, I'd be like, no, I know people.

[Ben]

I know People I know literally, like, I would rather die than Photoshop, but for some reason, I. I use Photoshop literally maybe twice a year where I actually have to use it for work. And I am subscribed all the way throughout the year, and it is $60.

[Drew]

A month literally saying, crazy package. No, easy.

[Ben]

Yeah, it should be illegal to charge that much for that, because, like, 600 and what, $720 a year for something that I could have bought for $12. Like, y' all are psycho.

[Drew]

Like, I know. It's insane.

[Ben]

I'm gonna pirate you. I'm starting to pirate. Like, I know. We need to get back to that.

[Drew]

Like, why We've come around the bend, and now we know we can steal from big conglomerates, so we have to start doing it digitally. Like, there needs to be more digital theft.

[Ben]

That shirt, that's like. You wouldn't download a car, would you? Like, yes, I literally would. Like, what are you talking about?

[Drew]

Yeah, if I could illegally download a Bugatti, I would do it. What are we talking?

[Ben]

Oh, my God. I got a 3D printer. It's not here yet.

[Drew]

And he's gonna. He's gonna download a Bugatti.

[Ben]

I'm gonna download a BU and 3D, print it in my, like, micro printer, nine inches at a time, and put it over my car.

[Drew]

Right, right.

[Ben]

But there I. I know we kn. Do media @ the end of the episode, but I had to talk about this show that I've been watching. Have you heard of Tiger King yet?

[Drew]

What is that?

[Ben]

It's this dude, Joe Exotic. He's a gay, like, cowboy that owns tigers.

[Drew]

Wait, he's gay and he likes tigers?

[Ben]

Yes. It's really crazy. And he's just, like, such an.

[Drew]

He just likes tigers.

[Ben]

He's such an eccentric character that that's all it really needs. And then there's, like, murders and. But yeah, it's really amazing. And then Squid Game.

[Drew]

Like, the world not believe that.

[Ben]

I know. It was crazy.

[Drew]

We couldn't believe it. But it was also because it was a week into lockdown, we were like.

[Ben]

Oh, dude, I want to go back to lockdown so bad. Like, literally, take me back. That was the best time of my life. It won't get sweeter than that.

[Drew]

Me, when I'm tired of the creator, I'm like, took me back.

[Ben]

Hey, take me back, take me back, take me back. Take me back, Take me back. But, yeah, there's also Squid Game.

[Drew]

Oh, what's that about?

[Ben]

I actually couldn't tell you. I really don't know.

[Drew]

I Would explain that one.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Drew]

So this guy, he gets taken into a car, right? And you're like, why is he in this car? But then he's in a Mr. Beast video.

[Kai]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ben]

Oh.

[Drew]

Oh.

[Ben]

You know they made that off of Mr.

[Drew]

Beast. They made like a Mr. Beast, but like, with murder.

[Ben]

Oh, wow.

[Drew]

Yeah, it's kind of crazy. Like, I hope he got his, like, checks for that. Why did he remake that? Why did he.

[Ben]

Late stage capitalism. Like, that's literally funny.

[Drew]

Like, that got built up and then just destroyed.

[Ben]

Yeah, it might be up. He. What he should have done is turn it into a museum.

[Drew]

I was just gonna say he should have turned it to like a. Like a selfie museum. He's gonna get us on our team. Yeah.

[Ben]

Team. Whoa.

[Drew]

Oh, my God.

[Ben]

Wow.

[Drew]

I'm hungover, by the way. I literally have a throbbing headache.

[Ben]

Is that where you were looking for Advil this morning?

[Drew]

Yeah. I need a. So bad.

[Ben]

And you drank wine last night, but Dune too.

[Drew]

I never drink wine. But, like, don't sit me in a room with other girls and some alcohol because a mass talking will happen.

[Ben]

A mass talking Pops there from the other night.

[Drew]

Not everyone. One of them was, but not the one. Okay, so Dune two.

[Ben]

Yes.

[Drew]

Which I don't know why they need.

[Ben]

Another one because that show is our new Star Wars. It's like. It's like, okay, look at like, one of the new farm style houses that are being built. Like the white ones with the black trim. Yeah, the James. Very basic. Yes, the James Charles houses. And then look at a mid century modern house.

[Drew]

Looks like.

[Ben]

It looks like that 70s. I forgot what I was. What point I was. What did you say? Oh, what? Dune. Dune is the mid century modern from 1970s house. And star wars is like the fake farmhouse. Fake farmhouse. Like, that's the equivalent. I know. That's like. What I'm saying is, like, it's just elite better. Big, tall windows, like, kind like that's it.

[Drew]

Well, I don't know that I agree. And I haven't seen Dune, but I've been forced to watch a lot of Star wars movies in my life. And unless they also have a horny scene where a big slug captures a girl in a bikini, then I don't know if dude's winning.

[Ben]

What's his name? Oscar Isaac. Naked as.

[Drew]

Wait, is he in Dune?

[Ben]

Yes. And he's naked and hot. Like he's in it.

[Drew]

Why didn't you tell me that? Like, now I have a. Probably skip around.

[Ben]

Yeah, but it's kind of like, tragic where he's naked, but it's, like, literally fucking lit. Oh, Timothy Chowder, man.

[Drew]

Do you see his wiener?

[Ben]

No, they don't allow that. But you basically do. I mean, when they were.

[Drew]

I mean, you basically did in, like, Scenes From a Marriage.

[Ben]

Yeah, true.

[Drew]

He was.

[Ben]

Dub sexualizing people.

[Drew]

I know. I need to stop, like, any time he gets brought up, if he gets really very real.

[Ben]

But I realized that I'm violently dehydrated, and if you took me to a doctor, I haven't been drinking water. Like, I really haven't. And my skin is, like, dry and cracking and nasty and, like, it's up, but.

[Drew]

Well, it's also because it got back to being cold, as in la, which is so annoying and very scary because I don't think it's supposed to feel like this in May here.

[Kai]

No, it's really weird. Oh, it's like in the winter for, like, two years in la.

[Drew]

I know.

[Ben]

Imagine it was like this literally forever. I would literally bust a night. Like, that would be so.

[Drew]

I think I would kill myself because I love this weather, but I am like, can the sun come out?

[Ben]

Like, the sun is out.

[Drew]

Here comes the sun.

[Ben]

Really good day.

[Kai]

I want it to be hot so I can pop my shirt off. Just haven't really been able to do.

[Drew]

Maybe it would be good if the weather stayed like this.

[Ben]

Yeah. I was about to say it would be nice if Kai kept his shirt on or the weather stayed close.

[Drew]

Yeah, that's what I was thinking also. I realized now my new fear is when I meet new people and then the I, like, the topic of jobs comes up and I'm like, oh, please don't talk to me. Please don't talk to me. Like, it's like everybody's, like, talking about what they do, and then I know, like, it's gonna be, like, in slow mo, when something embarrassing in a show happens. And, like, they turn to me, they're like, what do you do for work? Oh, don't say that.

[Ben]

I literally say I'm the eye.

[Drew]

I literally try to, like, disappear. Like, when I see people talking about work and I know, like, there's a chance that they turn to me.

[Ben]

I'm like, I. I evacuate the room. No, I literally. If someone asks me, I literally say, I. I'm the I word. Like, I'm. I'm an influencer, unfortunately. But then I'm like, no, I'm fucking not. But, like, here I go saying, I'm a podcaster. Like, I've been absolutely.

[Drew]

I say that. I'm like, I Have a podcast.

[Ben]

I'm a YouTuber.

[Drew]

Like, oh, I'm one of those people who has a podcast with my best friend.

[Ben]

But little.

[Drew]

That's even worse.

[Ben]

What they don't know is that we're one of the most podcasts in the world. They're assuming we're.

[Drew]

Oh. What they do know is that that's not true.

[Ben]

Oh, trust the analytics.

[Drew]

The analytics don't lie.

[Ben]

Yeah, exactly. The analytics tell the truth.

[Drew]

Did all of our. Did we get an Amber Alert?

[Ben]

Oh, it was a bereal notification.

[Drew]

Oh, well, mine was PayPal taking money from me for UberEats.

[Ben]

Whoa. Also that should be put into like a scientist room. And studied. That one phone vibrated and we all looked at ours immediately. Like, there's something.

[Drew]

Ours vibrated at the same time. That's why I thought it was mine.

[Ben]

There's something really scary about that. Really scary about that.

[Drew]

Well, I think in ye olden times, if the phone rang, everybody ran to the phone. You.

[Ben]

And I know you're mad and jealous of what I just did. I didn't get a green apple. Green apple's the best Jolly Rancher. They changed their formula. It's bullshit.

[Drew]

That is crazy that you think green apple is the best flavor.

[Ben]

Oh yeah.

[Drew]

But then when somebody asked what I do for work and then I say that and then it's. The next try to question is like, what's the name? Like, what's the name of your podcast?

[Ben]

I'm like, you shouldn't listen to it.

[Drew]

And like, you don't have to listen to it. Cuz they're always like, I'm going to listen, I'm going to listen. I'm like, you don't. One, you don't have to say that. Never feel like you have to say that. Two, please don't.

[Ben]

Thankfully, most of the people that ask me what I do are random people from Granberry, Texas that like, I kind of don't give a about. So I'm just like, whatever, whatever.

[Drew]

I'm just always meeting new people because I'm so sociable. So it's like, like worst thing ever for me.

[Ben]

Okay, well, did that come up last night?

[Drew]

Yeah. Oh, but I was. It was funny because, like, it's usually okay when it's people around our age. When it's older people, that's when it's really hard because I'm like, oh my God, you're going to think like, I should be like working in the mines, like, or something.

[Ben]

Well, we do yearn for the mountains.

[Drew]

But Minecraft, but they were like, they're like around our age. And. But in my head I was like, damn, we're having such a good conversation that, like, now I feel like she's going to listen to the podcast and be like, it's more fun talking to her in real life than hearing this.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Which is probably true because I'm just like, when I walk into a room, I fill it with joy and piss because I pee everywhere.

[Ben]

Wait, what I do want to talk about. I'm so fucking stupid for having this Jolly Rancher in my mouth as I'm like, literally speaking. But I wanted to talk about my drug dealer horror stories from when I lived back in Texas. And yeah, I just wanted to talk about that, but I'm going to shut my mouth real quick.

[Drew]

Whoa.

[Ben]

I'm sure this is like a universal experience where they're like local drug dealers, like 23, 25. And all of his clients are 16, 17 year olds, 18 year olds from, like the high school. The local high school, which is the number one horror story, is like, that environment is so scary. And I'd see like my homies that were the same age as me just like chilling on the couch with this grown ass man. And it was really eerie and scary. But I'm sure that's a universal experience.

[Drew]

That's not what the drug dealer being hella old.

[Ben]

Yeah. And just being creepy with like, younger girls.

[Drew]

Yeah. That's like so classically like, drug dealer vibe. It's insane.

[Ben]

But this is a story unique to me, I'm sure. And I cannot believe I haven't told this on the podcast. Probably just to protect the, like, people. But no one knows who I was friends with at the time. But we had recently switched drug dealers. We had recently gone from the one really close by my house to the one close to the high school, which is like 15 minutes away. And he lived in like an apartment complex, literally. So the apartment complex is here, the police station and pseudo courthouses here. And then the high school is like right up the street. So it was like really, really crazy to be like selling drugs out of there. Actually. It might have been a good facade, but anyways, he was like dealing out of there and we went there and this was like the first time he invited me into his house and I did not want to go in there. But like, basically it was one of those situations where he was like, holding the weed like hostage and like making you hang out with him because he's so lonely. Well, we got into the house and we're just chilling on the couch and it's me and two of my buddies that I'm not gonna mention by name. And we're just hanging out in there. And it is like nasty vibes in there. Like a single couch with like nothing else in the room. Like, there's a bedroom at the end of the hall and you can see through the door that.

[Drew]

Well, maybe he just believes in, like, not over consuming. So you're just being judgmental.

[Ben]

I mean, he had bread because he was like the only other drug dealer in our hometown and everybody needed to like put drugs in their system because, like, there's nothing to do there. But he. You could see through his bedroom and see like that is half of his mattress was showing and that he had like a pile of clothes next to the bed. And like, it was just really, really bad vibes. And we're just like chilling there. And then all of a sudden he brings out a pipe. And we thought it was weed. And then he went up to like my. So I was really close with one of the dudes that I was with and then like by proxy was with the other kid and he went up to him, thank God it wasn't fucking me, and was like, if you want your weed, you're going to have to smoke this and like, prove to me that you're not a cop. And we were like, we're 15, 16 years old. We're not fucking cops. Like, what are you talking about? And he went up and was like, I'm literally 13. Yeah, I'm literally a child. And he was like, you're going to have to prove that you're not wearing a wire and like that like you're down with the shits or whatever. And we were like, oh, well, like, okay. It's just we thank God it wasn't me. Well, he like, had the pipe and this was like one of those, or so I thought was one of those pipes where it was like the bowl and you hold it like this with the carb right here and you hit. Yeah, I thought it was one of those. Until he started lighting the bottom of it and we were like, I've never seen weed be lit like that. I wonder if it's like, like in my thought process was like, oh, I wonder if it's like, like heating up the cannabinoids and like, it's almost like vaporizing it instead of like smoking it and inhaling it. And then I saw like a giant plume of smoke fill this like orb. And I was like, this is crack. Like, this is meth or Crack or like, I don't know what the fuck it is. And he made my homie literally smoke meth in front of me. And, like, it was the craziest fucking vibe ever. And, like, I didn't want to.

[Drew]

What happened to the kid? Like, what?

[Ben]

He actually was, like, hella like a champ. Yeah, he was. He was. He, like, bodied it, like, for being.

[Drew]

Like, bro, this might be my new swag.

[Ben]

Yeah, no, literally, like, it was. It was really insane.

[Drew]

That's, like, so dark.

[Ben]

Yeah. But, like, he was fine. We're all fine. But literally, I never went back to that house ever again. And I never owned weed again because I was like, fudge that I don't want to own this.

[Drew]

My God, dude. Literally, I just want to see if you're chill.

[Ben]

Yeah. Like, I want to make sure you're.

[Drew]

On the other people when they come to the house and be like, I just want to see if you're chill.

[Ben]

Like, hit this pipe. Crack.

[Drew]

Hit this pipe of unannounced drugs. The cocaine. You don't trust me? My fucking God. My friends don't trust me anymore. That's what I say. I'd be like, just close your eyes. I'm like, wait, you should close your eyes because I'm going to give you a surprise and then make them smoke meth.

[Ben]

Did you eat chick fil A last night?

[Drew]

No, I literally got it this morning because I woke up and I stood up in my fucking head, like, pounced from the back of my skull to the front. And I was like, I need food so that I'm not nauseous. Because I was really nauseous. And then I had, like, five chicken nuggets and I feel a little better. A little. A little better.

[Ben]

Do you know what a gravity bong is?

[Drew]

Yeah, it's like when in the big jug and you, like, pull it out.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Drew]

Are so desperate to get high.

[Ben]

I know. It's like.

[Drew]

That's when it's like, okay, just do math. That's what I'm like. Just do the math, bro. Like, you need. You need something more because you're literally like. You're defying gravity for, like, a weed high right now.

[Ben]

Like, you're, like, pushing it into your lungs at, like, a crazy rate. Like, it's really, really.

[Drew]

What? You just need to like.

[Ben]

I did it once out of a fireball bottle. He had, like, drilled into it. Really sick, actually.

[Drew]

And that was flying.

[Ben]

Yeah. I mean, it literally probably was flying again unironically. It probably was.

[Drew]

Dude, I can't imagine you Doing that. Did you freak the fuck out?

[Ben]

Yeah, I. I literally laid on the couch, like, drooling. Like, I'm good. Oh, my good. Like, it was crazy. And then on the drive home, I had my head up against the window, and it was like we were coming from, like, a bumpy gravel road, and, like, I was, like.

[Drew]

Literally sedated.

[Ben]

Yeah, I couldn't, like, control my body, and it was, like, bouncing off the. I forgot to wear a hat. Y' all get to see my hair?

[Drew]

Yeah, I just get you a helmet.

[Ben]

No, what we gotta get is a haircut.

[Drew]

I wanted to throw up.

[Ben]

What?

[Drew]

He's in the back of the car.

[Ben]

Like, I was in the front seat, but, like, it was like. And I was, like, moaning, and he was like, oh, we're almost out. We're almost out of the gravel road. Like, I promise it's gonna be good. I was like, oh, my God.

[Drew]

I was just, like, choked on air.

[Ben]

But, yeah, that's my gravity bong story. I could tell you my dab story. The one and only time I did a dab.

[Drew]

Dude, if I did a dab, I think I was fucking. Like, I would have vaporized.

[Ben]

I don't know how y' all do that shit. Yeah, I know.

[Drew]

It's like, yeah, I'm gonna swipe this joint rolled in wax. Rolled in with a dab on top with Keith on it. I was saying, like, why don't we gone to a conversation last night at dinner where one of our friends was like, if your friend was, like, on their deathbed and they dead seriously to you. And they were like, this is so crazy, and you're gonna laugh at me, but I really want you guys to eat a piece of me before I get cremated or anything. And he was like, would you do it? Like, if one of your friends was.

[Ben]

Like, oh, like, it. Yeah.

[Drew]

Like, if, like, your artist friend was like, oh, I've used my hands, like, all my life. And, like, they're so meaningful to me, like, because I made all this art. I would love if, like, a. Like, each friend, like, had a piece of meat to eat from my hands.

[Ben]

Or I literally eat the skin off my fingers and toes and my toenails. Like, I don't give a. Like, I will eat someone.

[Drew]

And then I was saying. I was like, girl, all that. Why not just, like, roll my ashes? Like, they're. Keith, like, put some wax on a joint and then, like, roll the joint in my ashes and then just smoke me. I'd be down for someone to.

[Kai]

I would do that. I Don't think I would eat someone.

[Drew]

You would rather smoke someone than eat them? Because I feel like smoking them is.

[Ben]

Kind of said that, too.

[Drew]

I know, but I'm, like, disgusting, so. And I'm okay with that.

[Kai]

I feel like that's.

[Drew]

Well, to be. To be clear, I would do both. I don't care.

[Kai]

Really?

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Kai]

I wouldn't eat a piece of someone.

[Ben]

If it was, like, mixed into, like, spaghetti bolognese. Like, it was, like, a little piece of meat, like, mixed in. And I didn't know. Like, I would literally know.

[Drew]

I would, like. I'm like, I need a chef to, like, go crazy on it. Like, it's not. It's not, like, just boiled Drew. And I'm eating.

[Kai]

I think.

[Drew]

I need, like, a chef to come in here and, like, prepare it on a really big white plate. And it's, like, the tiniest piece of food with, like, a little, like, garnish.

[Ben]

Imagine it, like, sashimi style. Like, hell, no.

[Drew]

You would taste like, too.

[Ben]

What are you talking about? I would taste like Jolly Ranchers.

[Drew]

You would have the reddest meat ever from all that red 40s.

[Ben]

Yeah, it tastes like Jolly Ranchers.

[Drew]

Your meat would look like wagyu steak because it'd be so.

[Ben]

Oh, yeah, it literally would. Yeah, you're right. A five.

[Drew]

No, but it would imported, like, deer ankles, Los Angeles. It literally tastes like rabbit tail.

[Ben]

Okay, Like, I know the whole joke is, like, how can you get, like, 20 nuggets for $2 from Wendy's? I don't give a. Because those are, like, the best nuggets on the market right now, and I will die on that hill. Like, they're so yummers.

[Drew]

Yeah, I agree. I'm, like, so over McDonald's.

[Ben]

Like, I just also watched a new video of how McDonald's chicken nuggets are made, and it's literally ground up bones. It's literally bones ground up into it.

[Drew]

Well, that's pretty good for you, then.

[Ben]

And.

[Drew]

Yeah, isn't that, like, that's what, like, collagen is. Collagen is bones.

[Kai]

Yeah. That's why people are like, oh, drink bone broth because you'll get the nutrients of the bones.

[Drew]

And that's why vegans don't drink bone shards. Yeah, that's why collagen's. Or vegans can't have, like, collagen because it's mainly, like, cowbones.

[Ben]

I knew that, but, like, watching the video completely changed it for me because it's, like little chicken skulls and beaks, like, going into a grater. And coming out as this pink goop. And it's like, just. How does it get pink or macerated?

[Kai]

That's kind of like a crazy full circle. You know how, like, Native Americans would, like, use the entire animal?

[Drew]

That's what I'm saying. Like, it's kind of lit, like, so now I think I'm back to me.

[Kai]

Yeah, maybe.

[Drew]

It's funny how that goes.

[Ben]

Y' all just do everything against me, y' all.

[Drew]

Oh, you know, finish eating that, y' all.

[Kai]

We're gonna get demonic.

[Ben]

You're a devil's advocate kind of guy.

[Drew]

I am. Wait, why am I a devil's advocate? Is that a song?

[Ben]

It's what?

[Drew]

Oh, I. I know, but, dude, that was crazy. But no, I think that's a song. Yeah, it is.

[Ben]

Y' all remember Zunes? Zoom, zoom, Z, U, N, E. Oh, the mic. Like, imagine asking for an ipod for Christmas and you got a Zune.

[Drew]

Let me see what this is.

[Ben]

Balls. I wanted one, though, because I wanted to be different so bad. It was terrible. Even as a child, I wanted to be different from everybody else. And I would make sacrifices in technology to be different. Like, I would be like, oh, I don't want an ipod. Like, I want a Zune. Or, I don't want an iPhone. I want an Android. Like, something is serious wrong with me. Like, it's crazy.

[Drew]

I've. I've never seen this before.

[Ben]

Really?

[Drew]

A Zune?

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Kai]

Have you seen the teenage engineering CM15?

[Drew]

Oh, yeah, we were gonna buy them.

[Kai]

That thing looks sick. It kind of reminded me of a Zune.

[Ben]

The mic?

[Kai]

Yeah, the. This thing.

[Ben]

Yeah. We were gonna buy them for the.

[Drew]

Podcast, but they're so expensive.

[Ben]

But, yeah, here I go.

[Kai]

They kind of reminded me of a zoo in a little bit.

[Drew]

Why do they put.

[Ben]

I know. That was on mine, too, and it scratched the out of me last.

[Drew]

Like, this has, like, a bar thing in it. Like, is this so that, like, I don't steal it from a store? Like, I don't understand.

[Ben]

I don't get it either.

[Drew]

Yeah, I'm wearing the Jenny X, Calvin Klein before it's out. Like, it's just chill kind of vibes.

[Ben]

And I slept in it last night. Do you got any baby names?

[Drew]

No, I don't. Like, I might name my kids, like, after, like, dead people. I know. You know, keep them going.

[Kai]

Yeah, that makes sense.

[Drew]

Even though that's not what that does for your soul, and it doesn't cure you, but I'll do it.

[Ben]

I'm gonna name my kid Trauma.

[Drew]

I'm Gonna name my kid Bond. So Trauma Bond. And they'll be friends.

[Ben]

Oh, wow. My cousin.

[Drew]

But we have to give them trauma so that they actually bond over Trauma. So it's like, it's. It's a funny story, actually. Like, her name Trauma and Bond. And we, like, bonded over Trauma.

[Ben]

My cousins. What?

[Drew]

And myself. I don't know why I said that immediately.

[Ben]

Well, my cousin's children. He has two boys. I think three now. He's obsessed with the Texas Rangers, specifically Nolan Ryan, and he named his children Nolan and Ryan.

[Drew]

Damn. I'm gonna name my kids Michael and Jackson.

[Ben]

Oh. Oh, no.

[Drew]

Billy and Jean also. I. I think I've said this already, but I gave them Billy and Jean. That' all me. That is literally all me. And I. I won't let them have that. Josiah and Lucas call themselves Billy and Jean because one time they were on set with me for that stupid ass brat show I was on. And I told the director, I was like, yeah, these are my friends Billy and Jean. And I also made Billy and Jean.

[Ben]

We are not your lovers lovers.

[Drew]

So I own a percentage of that podcast, whether they know it or not.

[Ben]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, also.

[Drew]

I can't say that you're awesome.

[Ben]

I can't say that.

[Drew]

Well, let me look at my notes because I have two really awesome notes. Guys. Don't even worry.

[Ben]

Oh, I got a good one. So I've been using Tick Tock. So there. There's this like, idea like Kale phone, cocaine phone. I'm sure you've literally heard of it. I've been like, going down cocaine phone route. It's like weird stock, bro, crypto side of the Internet. But it's basically the idea that, like, Kale Phone is like, don't use your phone at all. Cocaine phone is like, it's the most powerful tool humans have ever had access to. Why would you not use it to the fullest ability get two phones? Like, that's the idea. And I've been like, cocaine phoning. And I unintentionally. Because I'm addicted to it. And it's really bad and embarrassing, but I've been going like down the craziest TikTok rabbit holes. And I found this thing called TikTok battles. I'm sure you've seen them before.

[Drew]

The live stream.

[Ben]

Know what it is? It's basically you go live. Like, say you went live and I went live. We could do what's called a battle together. And basically all it is is your fans giving you money and me money. And whoever gets the Most money by the end of like the 2 and 2 minute 30 second timer wins and moves on to the next. And like there are people making like $16,000 a week doing these Tick Tock live stream battles. Like, it's really the most insane dystopian I've ever heard of in my entire life.

[Drew]

That is so unreal. Like, we should do it.

[Ben]

I know. Like, should we try it?

[Drew]

Yeah, we should just do it.

[Kai]

What do they do to get the money though? Do they just literally.

[Drew]

They just stand there.

[Ben]

They literally, like, they're like, come on guys. Like, we need to beat them. Like, we need to beat them. Come on. We're like, it's close. We're so close.

[Drew]

Kids who did like give the money, like, it has to be like really young people who just have like a card attached to the account or something.

[Ben]

I don't know. But the FTC is gonna sue the out of Tick Tock. If so, just like Fortnite got taken down.

[Drew]

Yeah. Because I feel like a lot of people who have people who are sitting there buying for them on live is. It's usually children, I think. Or maybe, I don't know, maybe they're adults. Maybe it's like the how there's like Twitch viewers who are down to like donate. But that makes more sense because most of the time it's like either like a live kind of podcast style thing and then like a gamer or something, but like for it to literally be like, come on guys, please, please, please guys.

[Ben]

I gotta be like, it. It's crazy.

[Drew]

So insane.

[Ben]

Also, Tick Tock implemented like drop shipping onto their platform now. So basically like say I like had this water bottle and like I had like a drop shipping palette somewhere. I could like open up a shop on my TikTok page where TikTok takes like 15 to like do it. And like it's basically a storefront on your TikTok page. But you never have to really own a product because like you can just ship it straight from China and like the warehouse it was created in, like.

[Drew]

It'S really so insane. That app is like actually fucking maniacal.

[Ben]

It's going downhill. Like, it's. It's really, really crazy. I mean, it's been going downhill for the last fucking four years since it's Genesis. But like, I fucking hate the direction it's going. And it's just like when Instagram implemented Marketplace, everyone was like, what the is this? But they have to make money somehow.

[Drew]

Like, I know I will say now, like people fully use it. Like there's so many accounts that I follow from my dad. Yeah, I've never bought anything from the Instagram, like, marketplace because that's insane. And I'm not crazy like your dad. But I will say I do.

[Ben]

Look, it's actually hilarious. Like, he ordered, like, what he, like. You know, those, like, inflatable giant sharks that, like, you can control with, like, a remote control and they, like, float around. He thought he was ordering that because that's what was advertised, but it was like $12. No, it's 25.99. And when he got it, all he got was like a bubble mailer this big and a plastic toy shark was inside. And he got scammed so hard, and by the time he went to dispute it, like, he couldn't find the listing anymore.

[Drew]

Dude, that is so insane for that to be happening off of Instagram.com. that sounds like a, like 2001 eBay problem. Like, it's like, look at this big thing for, like, $3. We've talked about this, though. How scared Used to be buying online where it's like, they're probably shipping a.

[Ben]

Bomb to me right now.

[Drew]

Like, well, I decided my only gripe with, like, gender neutral bathrooms is that most restaurants aren't actually making, like, nice gender neutral bathrooms. What they're doing is just ripping off their old sign and putting on the gender neutral sign onto a bathroom that smells A fucking 18 years of urinal piss. And I don't want to be in there. Anytime I am in a fucking bathroom or in a restaurant and I see the gender neutral signs, I will literally open each one to see which one has the urinal urinal in it. Because I refuse to sit across from that thing. Like, it is so nasty. There's piss all over the floor. It stinks. Like, you don't flush the piss. So it's just sitting there until it, like, slowly drains. Like, I, like, don't understand urinals. I think they were so poorly engineered because you're literally getting piss all over your pants. Like, every man you know has piss all over his pants. Like, there's no way it's not splashing back all over your jeans.

[Ben]

That's what urinal cakes are for. What are they? And they stop the splashback.

[Kai]

Yeah, it's supposed to, like, absorb it.

[Drew]

I don't think it does a good job because every time I go into a bathroom, the wall, the floor looks like they did like a half. There's one half, like, glossy, like, speckle decoration on the floor. Because in certain lights you see all the piss.

[Ben]

Bad seed that will piss on the floor and ruin it for everybody else.

[Kai]

Drew doesn't get any piss because he'll stick his dick into the hole.

[Drew]

Oh, that is a good idea.

[Kai]

He'll put his dick all the way down.

[Ben]

Yeah. I mean, it drains better. Yeah.

[Kai]

Plus it feels good and it's super considerate.

[Ben]

Yeah, there's like mold and in there. Yeah.

[Drew]

Okay.

[Ben]

Feels good.

[Drew]

Well, that was my rant because I hate being in stinky bathrooms that are just like the bathroom that boys are still using. Like, men are just gross and urinals are nasty and they stink.

[Ben]

I have to agree. Men's bathrooms are vile.

[Drew]

They're insane. Like the sun. You hit the. That's what it smells like. Walking past the men's bathroom at the airport. Like, that's what it smells like. What the was I gonna say? Oh, also, it's crazy what hot people get away with.

[Ben]

Like, I know, dude. I can get away with so much. Like, my whole life. Like, I do bad and people are just okay with it because, like, I have pretty privileged.

[Drew]

Oh, I don't think that happens to you.

[Ben]

It's really. It's really hard for me.

[Drew]

No, cuz you don't even do much, so, like, you definitely don't. Like, you're not like, using bad. No. Hot people. Privilege is like. There was this girl who's like, really gorgeous, like, sexy hot. And then she posted a video, just her straight to camera, like, raw style piece to cam. Like, yeah, it was her piece to cam. And she's just singing her ass off. And like, she's not a singer. She's just like a really gorgeous girl. And it genuinely shocked me so much because I've never seen her talk, let alone like, start belting her ass off to camera on Instagram.com and it was obviously a video that she recorded outside of stories. And then later on went back and looked and she's like, I gotta post this. Like, it's too good. But she only got away with it because she's so sexy.

[Ben]

Like, singing is, like, so embarrassing. Like, it really.

[Drew]

Like, why is it humiliating? People who could, like, kind of sing, who are just like, really about it, it's like, no, you shouldn't do that. But if I got on Instagram stories right now and with my whole chest started to singing my life away, people would genuinely make fun of me till the day I.

[Ben]

You would get bodied. Like, no one would ever, ever, ever.

[Drew]

Like, if I wanted to go into singing, I would have to, like, learn how to play guitar. And, like, be in a dingy room and record it on a film on, like, a. Like, a film camera or a tape recorder and have it, like, be this, like, artistic, like, body of work for people to be like, okay, I kind of get it. Like, I kind of see where she's going. But if I just got up in this outfit right now, put my phone up, and start singing, like, people would be like, what the is happening with her? Like, and people would think it was a joke.

[Kai]

Like, what if you found out, like, a year of me working with you guys on this that I had a tik Tok account where I would, like, sing it wasn't me by Shaggy with.

[Ben]

Like, I would fire you. Yeah, I would fire you. I'd say, we have to let. We have to let you go. We're.

[Kai]

We found really disturbing, so we've discovered.

[Drew]

A part of you that I don't think you ever wanted us to see. If it was, like, a different song, it would be the best day of my life. Like, if it was, like, an Adele song or something that you really liked from, like, her first album and you were singing it all the time, I would literally have a joyride with that. Like, I would be like, this is the craziest thing I've ever seen. I would show it off at parties. Like, it was a trick. I'd be like, do y' all want to see something crazy? And then I would fire you, really.

[Kai]

Earnestly belting it out.

[Ben]

Yeah. Well, what if you guys found out that I was singing?

[Drew]

Whoa.

[Kai]

What.

[Drew]

What. What would you be singing in the hypothetical?

[Ben]

I don't know. Just like, Ed Sheeran. Wait, what the is that lyric 18, though? Wait, hold on. What is that lyric? That he in love with my body. Call him Ed Sharon. He in love with my body. What the does that mean?

[Drew]

Well, because I think he says he has this song. I'm in love with the shape of you.

[Ben]

Yeah, I've been trying to figure that out, dude.

[Drew]

If I hear. If I go into a bar and that song is playing, I know it's gonna be the worst 30 minutes of my life.

[Energy Trust of Oregon]

In love with the shape of you.

[Drew]

Or like. Like, that playing in, like, a kind of deserted mall is so crazy.

[Ben]

Like, it is a creepy ass vibe. Like, it's a dangerous vibe.

[Drew]

That's a song that has played in one too many bands on this planet.

[Ben]

Like, also, I know everything is fake because how hyper inflated Ed Sheeran and Selena Gomez Spotify numbers are. Nothing is real. It's all bots. Like, I haven't heard someone play a Ed Sheeran song once in my life other than inside of a mall. And that does not account for 57 trillion listens.

[Drew]

Does he have, like, the most listeners? Like, who has the most listeners on.

[Ben]

Probably the weekend right now? I'd say the weekend. Ed Sheeran. Justin Bieber is always top contending in Selena.

[Drew]

Ed Sheeran.

[Kai]

There's a bunch of Latin artists, too.

[Ben]

That have, like, oh, yeah, J. Balvin.

[Drew]

Oh, Bad Bunnies up there now. So, yeah, it's like, Ed Sheeran, Drake, the Weeknd, Taylor Swift, Bad Bunny, Justin Bieber, bts, Bruh. How are people still listening to Justin Bieber like that? Like, what do you. Is he making music still? Like, does he make.

[Ben]

That's what I'm saying. It's all fake.

[Kai]

I play Yummy every day.

[Drew]

You got that? Yummy, yummy. Urinals is such a good album.

[Ben]

Urinals is such a good album.

[Drew]

Roller coaster. Roller Coaster.

[Ben]

Also, Baby is genuinely a masterpiece of a song. Like, I think we've grown enough as, like, a culture to, like, realize the.

[Drew]

Mics didn't pick that up, so it looked like he just glitched.

[Ben]

Like, Baby is a great song. Like, it really is actually a good song.

[Drew]

I'll never forget when I showed my friends in fifth grade Justin Bieber on YouTube, and it was before he was, like, a thing, and I was like, yeah.

[Ben]

Like, this is my boyfriend.

[Drew]

This is, like, a guy I've been looking at. Like, he's like, I got my eye on him. And then my friends, like, two years later or maybe like a year later once, like, baby and everything really came out, and he was, like, huge. All my friends are talking about him, and we got into a serious argument where I was like. Like, that is my artist. Like, I. That's mine. Like, last year when I showed it to you, you didn't give a. And now you give a. Because he's on the radio. Roller coaster.

[Kai]

I'll, like, kind of go back and watch that video probably, like, once every baby. Every year. I don't know why.

[Ben]

Wait, like, him playing the video game?

[Kai]

What?

[Drew]

What? When? You mean when he's at the bowling alley?

[Ben]

Which one's Baby? I don't know if I recall. It's.

[Drew]

He's, like, at the bowling alley with Usher.

[Kai]

Drake. No, Drake's there.

[Drew]

Drake's in that.

[Kai]

Drake's in the baby music.

[Drew]

Wait, what's happening? Because I'm freaking out.

[Ben]

You literally cannot believe this right now. Pull that up. Because I'm so.

[Kai]

He's just like, dapping people up and he's hanging out with like 12 year olds.

[Drew]

Damn, dude, this shit's too lit. Where's this? Is this in la? Oh wow. My God, this shit's so lit. Yeah, it's in la. Dude. He was too lit. Like what a time.

[Kai]

It's like a skull song now.

[Drew]

Well, I just, I just sped it up because I want to finish watching it so we can finish the episode. The clothes they had him in were really crazy. Dude, I wanted to be his girlfriend so bad. Like I literally was like, I need him. He Maybe was like 13 here or 14. What's crazy? I actually don't know his age. Like Justin Bieber has never had an age 28.

[Kai]

What's crazy is so he might have been like 16.

[Ben]

I got my first kiss at the Justin Bieber documentary like movie. I saw it in theaters one and then two. I was secretly obsessed with Justin Bieber, but like obviously you couldn't do that, especially in Texas. So I was like such a hater of his online. And then I would also go on Facebook and lie and say I won like two tickets and that I'm selling them to like his concert in Dallas. Like if anybody wants to buy them, I'm selling them for 500 bucks each, their front row and everyone would hit me up.

[Drew]

So you were a scammer.

[Ben]

I never took money from anybody. No, but it was for attention. Yeah, it was just fun to lie. I lied so much on Facebook. Like I would like say like my brother is like severely sick. Like, like he's like this is his face and it was like a face of like a mutilated person from like, like, like a one of the meme photos that would go around. Like the one that I post on my story where it's like selfie like a week ago.

[Drew]

Yeah, sorry. Now I'm down a really crazy Justin Bieber rabbit hole and I'm watching the beauty and a beat.

[Kai]

Oh, that's good.

[Drew]

That's the music video. I wanted to be at this party so bad. I was like, I need to get in that pool. I need to get in that pool and get really self conscious. Cuz I think Justin Bieber's going to look at me and now I have bodily perception of myself and I'm scared. Like I needed to be in this pool. Like what? Everybody here is so lucky. Was this like post X. Cuz this video feels super. Like everybody saw X and they were like, yeah. And everybody saw Project X and they were like what if we did a music video where There was a huge party.

[Ben]

It probably was.

[Drew]

It was the biggest party in the world at our house. I never saw Project X. Never seen that movie. I feel like it was really good. I feel like it was one of those movies I had to have seen, like when it came out because now it's like, this is the worst movie ever. That's how I felt about watching Hackers. Like Hackers. The vibes are there. But that is the one of the worst movies ever. Sucks.

[Kai]

Only one that holds up is super bad. That one is as good.

[Drew]

Literally one of the best.

[Ben]

This Is the End comedies.

[Kai]

This Is the End is pretty good, but I. I feel like super bad. Out of all of those. I'll watch it and I'm like, this is maybe even funnier.

[Drew]

Yeah. Because also Superbad is like, shot really nicely too. Like, it like, looks good. It's really nice. Like, yeah, it has, like, a lot of artistic spots.

[Ben]

I'm not arguing again. So I'm just saying off show.

[Drew]

Oh, yeah, I know.

[Kai]

This is the end. It's pretty fire.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Drew]

I haven't seen it. You know, I started it and then I like turned it off because I was. Started it right after I watched Super Bad and it was like late.

[Kai]

Michael Sarah's character in that is so.

[Drew]

I know. I mean, the beginning, 15 minutes. That movie is literally so awesome.

[Ben]

They like all hate each other on set or something. Like Michael Sarah and like Jonah Hill or. Yeah, someone. They had like, beef on set.

[Drew]

It was like. Actually, I just got told this other.

[Ben]

Day, I think everyone hated Jonah Hill.

[Drew]

It was like. No, it was like Jonah didn't want to film with Michael because I think Jonah Hill wanted Michael Sarah's role or something. But then they found Michael and they gave Jonah the role he ended up playing. And he was really pissed because he was like, dude, I don't want to be this character. He wanted to play Michael Sarah's character. He didn't want to play his character.

[Ben]

What's crazy is how Jonah Hill was casted for that movie. Was like Seth was at like a movie or a screening for one of his, like, movies that just came out and Jonah was sitting right behind him. And Seth at the time was developing super bad and was like, this kid is perfect for this role. Wait, no, no, that's for 40 old virgin. Sorry. Yeah, yeah, that's for 40 year old virgin. He was like, oh, wait, why don't you just be the kid, the ebay guy.

[Kai]

Jonah Hill, he has such a funny role in four Year Old Virgin.

[Drew]

I haven't Seen that in a really long time. I need to re watch it. I actually don't know if I've finished that movie ever. That was always one of those movies I like saw. It was like on tv. So I would like always start it.

[Kai]

And just like, that movie is so well written.

[Ben]

That's a classic. Certified classic. I love Steve, dude. Also just like comedy back then was like, it was like the perfect level of like. Okay, like we're being like a little like, like we're being a little facetious. Yeah, we're testing the waters. Like we're saying things. That's also not the right way to use it. But whatever, I'll let it slide. Is that not facetious is like lying, but wow. Basically. Yeah. It was just like the perfect level being like problematic and also like being a little aware. Yeah. And being aware. And then like shortly after that, it spiraled out of control and like, it was crazy. And now like, I feel like we're finally starting to get back into it. Like, I'm sure in the next like two or three years, like comedy will be funny again.

[Drew]

But we'll save comedy. I think we have to.

[Ben]

We must save comedy. You just can't say anymore.

[Drew]

Like, yeah, like, I want to be able to be like.

[Ben]

Crap.

[Drew]

All right, so media of the week.

[Ben]

Yep. Somehow we were trying to do a 45 minute episode today, but we somehow pushed over. Pushed over.

[Drew]

So yeah, we're going to 45 now. So everybody be upset and sad and like cry about it because I don't care.

[Ben]

I don't give a. I read a.

[Drew]

Really good book, but I'm not gonna say it out loud because I'm gonna gatekeep the book.

[Ben]

Yeah. For media. I'm just like, I listen to a lot of good music and watch a lot of good shows on tv, but I'm not telling you. So that's my media for that.

[Drew]

My media is Boutique Joy by Yasuka Shimizu. I'm probably saying that really wrong. I just want to talk to you. Let me talk to you. Charles Brown, Sleepy Creek. That song is so good you make me weak at the knees. Electric Electrolane and Alone Again by Gilbert o' Sullivan.

[Ben]

Gilbert Arena.

[Drew]

I was listening to my Discovery Weekly and you cannot trick me. Don't make old sounding music because I know when that shit's new. I can hear it in your stupid whiny voice. And somebody had a song that was supposed to sound old, but it sounded like the beginning of Alone Again. So I was like. When I first started listening to I was like. I was like, I don't think this person would have sampled this so soon after this song came out. So it sounds like we've got a little faker on our hands. And I saw that cover and I was like, you can't trick me. You can't trick me with your fake old looking cover. I hate that when the people are making like old sounding music. And then also the COVID is very like. Like we made this out of cardboard and ink with our hands.

[Ben]

This is actually a vinyl sleeve just printed and scanned.

[Drew]

We just scanned a vinyl sleeve. It's real. And yeah, and then I blocked the artist on Spotify.

[Ben]

Well, I've been tapping back into Death Grips because I'm getting ready for their concerts in LA and I need to go. And if I don't go, I'll die.

[Drew]

Yeah, you won't die.

[Ben]

You know, Birds by Death Grips, Black Dice by Death Grips are really good songs that I've liked recently. And then there's this band called Black Dice. And I am only assuming they're inspired by Death Grips because their music is like noise music and like really annoying and bad. But Broken ear record is really good by them. But it's just like sound music. And if you like that type of. They make good noise music. But like, if you don't, you won't get it and it'll be like a hell for you. And then this.

[Drew]

Welcome to your nightmare.

[Ben]

What? I've watched like so much recently. Oh, I've been watching that show Working Moms. I didn't know there were 36, 000 seasons out.

[Drew]

And like I realized, and I know.

[Ben]

It was really bad, we'll find it, but we'll look forward.

[Drew]

I like actually shocked myself. Like I felt the way my tongue hung out of. Out of my mouth just now.

[Ben]

Why are you crying?

[Drew]

Felt that in my life. Okay, sorry. You were watching Working Moms?

[Ben]

Yeah, it's like the acting is terrible and the casting is awful for most everybody except for Anne and the main girl. But that show is just like a guilty pleasure. And I like, like watching it. It's on Netflix. And then Demon Slayer season three came out and literally no one told me. I'm so confused because that wasn't there when I finished watching season two, which was like two months ago. And then now it's there. Like it doesn't make sense to me, but whatever.

[Drew]

Well, I'm finally in season five of the Sopranos. The Sopranos. I always say Sopranos, but I think you're supposed to say the Sopranos, whatever the that means. Like let me pronounce how I want the Golden Hours.

[Ben]

Why do I have to pronounce things right?

[Drew]

I should just be able to say things how I want. Whatever.

[Ben]

Sleepy Time Raymond Scott and Be My Baby. The Ronettes.

[Drew]

Be My Little baby.

[Ben]

Me.

[Drew]

Now I'm pretty sure that was the song, but let me see the COVID of Be My Baby, cuz maybe I'm thinking of something else. Okay. I'm pretty sure it's Be My Baby, but they really didn't want that song. There's like a crazy story behind it. Like they really didn't want to do that song.

[Ben]

And I don't think it's Be My Baby.

[Drew]

Is it not?

[Ben]

No, but it's another that.

[Drew]

Is it by the Ron Nets or it might not be the Raw Nets. I can't remember who it is, but it's like what from that era of music, there was like a band who really didn't want the song. Oh, dude, it's the worst day ever. Because like, we may never know. I guess you never know.

[Ben]

Also, the the movie, what's it called? Walk the Line is really good.

[Kai]

The Walking Phoenix.

[Ben]

Yeah, the Walking Phoenix. But that was this episode of Emergency Intercom. I think it was the Ron ads enjoyed and I hope you find love in a Hellscape.

[Drew]

All right, thank you guys so much for this.

[Ben]

Respect it.

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Energy Trust of Oregon]

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