We Have 3 Years Left

Summary

Podcast Summary: Emergency Intercom – Episode: "We Have 3 Years Left"

Release Date: September 10, 2022
Hosts: Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips
Podcast Description: Emergency Intercom is a comedy podcast by Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips. There is no emergency, but there is an intense need for attention, so maybe listen up… You don’t want to know what happens if you don’t. (We will be violent.)

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Overview

In the episode titled "We Have 3 Years Left," hosts Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips engage in their trademark blend of humor, candid conversation, and quirky observations. The episode delves into a variety of topics ranging from mythical creatures and personal insecurities to deeper reflections on life, nature, and existential thoughts about the future.

Mythical Creatures and Pop Culture References

The conversation kicks off with humorous banter about mythical beings. Enya and Drew discuss werewolves and vampires, intertwining their imaginations with real-world insecurities.

• Enya (00:39): "Oh, fuck, my cervix."
• Drew (00:49): "I don't know if vampires just aren't real, so we don't even have to worry about that, really."

Their playful exchange highlights their comedic chemistry, blending fantastical elements with everyday concerns.

Personal Insecurities and Self-Image

The hosts next pivot to personal topics, particularly focusing on appearances and self-image. Drew shares his experience with hair changes influenced by social media trends, revealing his vulnerability.

• Drew (02:44): "Look at my curls. I don't care because it works."
• Enya (03:04): "You're stuck in the loop of trying to please people."

This segment underscores the pressures of maintaining self-image and the often-overlooked emotional toll of trying to meet external expectations.

Nature, Environment, and Existential Musings

Enya and Drew transition into a contemplative discussion about nature and environmental concerns. They express conflicting feelings about the state of the earth and humanity's impact.

• Drew (05:57): "What's always created nor destroyed."
• Enya (06:18): "Everything is awesome. Guys, when bad things are happening, I think we just have to sit back and say everything is apocalyptic flooding."

Their conversation reflects a mix of denial and acceptance regarding environmental issues, blending humor with genuine worry.

Desire for a Simpler Life

A significant portion of the episode revolves around the hosts' longing for a more straightforward, off-the-grid lifestyle. Drew articulates his desire to escape the complexities of modern life, envisioning a peaceful existence akin to a farmer's market routine.

• Drew (08:26): "In four to five years, I pray that I'm in a position where I can disappear, run away and never have to see anybody."
• Enya (09:28): "I know we're a part of the generation that has this really... we are this generation that is the celebrity generation."

This segment highlights their dissatisfaction with societal pressures and the pursuit of fame, contrasting it with their yearning for tranquility and self-sufficiency.

Mental Health and Emotional Struggles

Towards the latter part of the episode, Enya and Drew openly discuss their mental health challenges, including feelings of sadness, depression, and panic attacks. They explore the difficulties of managing these emotions while maintaining their public personas.

• Drew (27:33): "But I do. And that's... this is a crazy ass hot take."
• Enya (42:58): "I need to get this out of my head because, like, that only ever makes it worse."

Their candid conversation sheds light on the often-hidden struggles individuals face, emphasizing the importance of mental health awareness.

Humor Amidst Vulnerability

Despite delving into serious topics, Enya and Drew maintain their comedic flair throughout the episode. They navigate sensitive subjects with humor, making their conversation both relatable and entertaining.

• Enya (30:27): "It's just so hard."
• Drew (32:36): "But it's okay because we're out in nature."

Their ability to balance vulnerability with humor creates a dynamic and engaging dialogue, keeping listeners both emotionally invested and amused.

Reflections on Legacy and Immortality

In the closing segments, the hosts ponder the concept of legacy and the impermanence of human existence. They express a sense of comfort in knowing that life continues beyond individual lifespans, finding solace in the cyclical nature of existence.

• Drew (49:29): "I will die on. I said that literally the last episode."
• Enya (50:33): "I keep getting bit by mosquitoes and I'm allergic to mosquito bites now."

Their reflections offer a philosophical perspective on life and death, blending existential thoughts with their characteristic humor.

Conclusion

"We Have 3 Years Left" showcases Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips' unique ability to intertwine humor with deep, personal reflections. The episode navigates a spectrum of topics—from mythical creatures and self-image to environmental concerns and mental health—with authenticity and wit. Listeners are treated to an engaging and multifaceted conversation that captures the essence of Emergency Intercom—a blend of comedy, candidness, and a touch of the absurd.

Notable Quotes:

• Enya (00:39): "Oh, fuck, my cervix."
• Drew (02:44): "Look at my curls. I don't care because it works."
• Enya (06:18): "Everything is awesome. Guys, when bad things are happening, I think we just have to sit back and say everything is apocalyptic flooding."
• Drew (08:26): "In four to five years, I pray that I'm in a position where I can disappear, run away and never have to see anybody."
• Enya (42:58): "I need to get this out of my head because, like, that only ever makes it worse."
• Drew (49:29): "I will die on. I said that literally the last episode."

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Disclaimer: This summary is based on the provided transcript and aims to capture the key discussions and themes presented by the hosts. Viewer discretion is advised due to the presence of explicit language and sensitive topics.

Transcript

[Enya]

Welcome to this serene and peaceful episode of Emergency Intercom.

[Drew]

We've run into the forest. Deep, deep away.

[Enya]

Look at those people on the boat.

[Drew]

I know. We're in the Twilight Forest. I hope a big, strong, hunky werewolf man doesn't come and take me away and do things to me.

[Enya]

Yeah, I hope a vampire doesn't come and like, finger me on my period and suck all the blood out of my. Oh, fuck, my cervix.

[Drew]

Yeah, I hope a big hairy werewolf guy.

[Enya]

They should have installed a vacuum in the mouth of vampires instead of just those teeth because those teeth make small punctures. But if they had vacuums in their throats and they got down there on their period, they would feast like a Chinese buffet.

[Drew]

I don't know if vampires just aren't real, so we don't even have to worry about that, really.

[Enya]

What?

[Drew]

Yeah, vampires are not real. What are you talking about?

[Enya]

Yes, they are. It's like mermaids and like. Oh, like those horse people. Like, you know what I'm talking about, girl.

[Drew]

No, those are all made up. Did you think you were watching a documentary when you saw Twilight? Because that's not. Those were not those. That was not real.

[Enya]

Then how did they make it look like that?

[Drew]

Computer generated graphics. Oh, my God.

[Enya]

What does that mean? No, computers are for like YouTube and like Twitter and Tick tock. Like, they're not for like movies. Movies are for like the silver screen.

[Drew]

I actually can't with you. This is. This is actually scaring the out of me that I have gotten involved with and been with you for so long.

[Enya]

With somebody who chooses to put on my rose colored lens and look at the world so beautifully. Yeah, I'm sure that would hurt you. I'm sure that would.

[Drew]

That's just not reality. Reality. People die. That's the reality of it.

[Enya]

People die. Everybody's parents when they have a recession hit. That's not the reality of it. You can't just go to Target and get what you want.

[Drew]

You want candy? Too fucking bad. You want that $2 thing? Too bad. We can't afford.

[Enya]

Do you want candy or do you want the lights to be on tonight?

[Drew]

The candy. I'm sorry.

[Enya]

Yeah. Like what?

[Drew]

Honestly, Give me the opt.

[Enya]

Work out. I'll just go to sleep.

[Drew]

Exactly.

[Enya]

The sun is up, the candy must out.

[Drew]

And I'm feeling okay. I hope you have a really good day.

[Enya]

The thing is with being out, like.

[Drew]

Oh, we haven't even addressed my hair. They haven't seen it yet.

[Enya]

Yeah, you look beautiful. Drew's looking Gorgeous.

[Drew]

Yeah, I cut my hair. I bleached the tips. The only reason I did it was because I saw like 20 TikToks being like, oh, Drew and his sexier. This is when Drew was hot and, like, saying all this and made me feel like I wasn't hot anymore. And I decided it's time to get hot again. And that's what I did. I got hot again. And look at me. Look at me.

[Enya]

You're stuck in the loop of trying to please people.

[Drew]

Look at my curls. I don't care because it works.

[Enya]

It looks like we switched hairs, except I put clipping bangs in my head.

[Drew]

Yeah, but you didn't have bleached hair.

[Enya]

We switched wigs. Yeah. Yeah, he gave me his wig and I gave him my old wig from, like 2013 before I bleached it.

[Drew]

What is it called? Chernobly. Like the real hair Trinobly? Yeah, like the inches. Like, people get real hair.

[Enya]

No, there's a different name. Chernobyl is like a historical event that happened or something.

[Drew]

Oh, yeah, Chernobyl. No, what is it called? Like, Nicki Minaj has a bottle at it.

[Enya]

Yeah. Not a balayage for some reason. I was going to say. I know what you're talking about. It's like Belmont, like, hair or something. It's like Balmain. Balmain. No, baby, Balmain is. No, Balmain is a brand. No, I know what you're talking about.

[Drew]

Because I got to look this up.

[Enya]

It's like the highest end of, like, hair extensions, etc, but I don't know what it's called. You saying the true noble hair. Something bad that happened.

[Drew]

Chernobyl is the. That exploded. The nuclear power plant that blew up with the elephant foot thing.

[Enya]

Okay, that gave me, like, actually, girl, no, it's the.

[Drew]

It's literally the nuclear reactor that melt down.

[Enya]

And what does the alien foot have to do with that?

[Drew]

Elephant foot is what they call the super reactive radioactive. Wait, that song, Radioactive Girl. Why can't I find this?

[Enya]

You said it like it was a good song. He, like, you just said that like.

[Drew]

You were like, teal hair extensions. Girl, this shit is all real. No, I typed in teal.

[Enya]

Oh, belami.

[Drew]

Yeah, there's another word for it, though, bro.

[Enya]

You don't know what you're talking about.

[Drew]

No, there is literally another word for it. I swear there is. We've talked about it before.

[Enya]

I just can't think of it right now. Cause unlike you, when I'm in nature, I don't have this, like, Instagram need.

[Drew]

To look up Hair extensions? Yeah, sorry, it's a hobby of mine. I can't fix it, love.

[Enya]

Well, no, you come to nature to separate yourself from the need to have long, beautiful hair. Actually, being in nature makes me feel like I need long, beautiful hair because in a different world, I feel like I'm in like 1852 and I didn't have hair extensions. And I also didn't have the right to vote.

[Drew]

I need to film on my phone to show them what we're looking at. We're looking at because it's the most, actually maybe the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen.

[Enya]

Because everybody's gonna be like, oh, my God, this is like, boo, boo, boo. You're not yelling, you're not screaming, you're not being rowdy. How could I be rowdy when nature is healing? Nature is perishing. Nature is not healing, girl.

[Drew]

I know the floods, the droughts, all the water is being displaced and put into new places. The water never leaves the earth. It's always going to be there, but it just is going to be in different places.

[Enya]

We're going to have Pangea 2.0.

[Drew]

Girl, that may actually be the most ignorant thing I've ever said.

[Enya]

You saying the water will always be on earth, it's just being displaced. Well, like, no.

[Drew]

What's always created nor destroyed.

[Enya]

And me, like just not questioning it.

[Drew]

Energy is never cannot be created nor destroyed. Everything is in a constant state of yin and yang.

[Enya]

Everything is awesome. Guys, when bad things are happening, I think we just have to sit back and say everything is apocalyptic flooding.

[Drew]

Apocalyptic flooding and droughts and death and famine and recessions.

[Enya]

Everyone's having a really hard time.

[Drew]

I don't care.

[Enya]

I do. And that's.

[Drew]

This is. This is a crazy ass hot take. And I mean this with my full chest. Like, when I come out to places like these where it's just nature and a river flowing and it's really gorgeous and you listen for a moment, you hear nothing and you hear crickets and you hear locusts. Everything feels a little bit at peace. And I'm like, okay. Like it is okay. Like it will be okay. You know what I mean? Like it's going to be all right. Maybe humans won't be here in 100 years, but everything's going to be okay.

[Enya]

The thing is, what's annoying is I'm like, damn. The only. The. The main issue of all that is. Yeah. Mm. And you know what I'm saying.

[Drew]

Did you hear the fish jump?

[Enya]

Yeah, I got distracted by everything around me. No, but what I was going to say is like, the crazy thing is.

[Drew]

When I have a set, we can, we can never have a set because I am being able to look at this and focus on everything but a.

[Enya]

Camera in your face. When we come out here, I have this hard time because I'm just like, wow, this is true peaceful. This is what humans are meant to do, is just get food, come home, eat the food, be in nature, live. We're just made to live. But now there's careers and jobs and you need to pay bills and pay to be alive and pay for this and do that. And then, oh my God. And then there's fighting and then there's like moral like groundings that you disagree with and like all this like crazy shit. And I'm like, oh my God, this is like never what humans were meant to do. But then I really think about it and I'm like, here I am talking into a microphone, living like a simple sleigh life. And then I'm like, yeah, we do need TikTok and we do need iPhones destroying the earth because, like, then what.

[Drew]

Would I be doing if I didn't have this shit? I would be out here, like unironically. I would be somewhere like this, off the grid. And that is my plan. In four to five years, I pray that I'm in a position where I can disappear, run away and never have to see anybody. I don't want to see or say anything. I don't want to say or do anything I don't want to do. And that's my dream. Like, I wasn't joking. I almost started crying when I saw those old people at the farmer's market playing their little fucking fiddles and violins and making music with each other. Like I yearn and feed for that life so badly. A simple life where like I wake up, I shower, I go to the farmer's market, I walk around, I display my fruits that I yielded the night before. And I just like move on like that. I yearn for that so badly. I like, I wish every night I could sit out here and watch this. Like that is the life that I want so, so bad.

[Enya]

You know it's crazy though, is a lot of those people, like, because they are so old, they had to do the like 20 to 60 year old, like heavy lifting, hustle and like figuring it out so that they can have like that peacefulness where they like their main thing is trying to figure out like what song they're gonna play on the fucking fiddle at the farmer's market. I don't know. When I think about my future, I have a hard time because I want that. But I also, like, enjoy being very social, so I would have to have a mix of both. What's also really sad is to think about the fact that so many people can't have that. But maybe it is, like, way more achievable than, like, it's thought out to be. I think, like, we're a part of the generation that has this really. I mean, it's like the celebrity generation. We grew up, like, wanting to. Or at least me, like, I grew up wanting to be an entertainer, which I guess I. I don't know. When I think about my childhood and what I wanted, I don't know that I ever thought about, like, celebrity ism within that. I just wanted to be able to do entertainment because I guess, like, I never meant to show my face as much as I do on the Internet. Like, when I was a child, like, the best part about being a radio host was, like, not showing my face. Like, I was like, it's just my voice and I could be funny and then, like, live my life and, like, play music.

[Drew]

Yeah. It's way more achievable than people think. And, like, that people can see it's just gotten so convoluted because of shit like that, where it's like, you have to do this, this, and this and this and this to get there. But I think, like, it's literally what they want you to think is that it is hard to live a peaceful life off the grid. Like, it sounds insane, and I sound like a crazy, privileged white person.

[Enya]

Yeah. I'm sure coming from us, it sounds, like, crazy.

[Drew]

It does sound insane, but. And I can recognize that. But I do believe that it's, like, not as hard as people think it is to, like, just chill. I. I don't mean it's not as hard to, like, make the money so you can chill. That's impossible. I just mean, like, there are ways to do it that we. I don't even see. I haven't even seen.

[Enya]

I think also because, like, we're, like, poisoned with this idea to, like, make something of ourselves. Like, that's like. That's what I was getting on with. Like, this, like. And I'm sure. I know, like, we're not the first generation to be, like, poisoned with the idea of, like, making your mark. Yeah. Because, like, now it's just like, with the Internet, it felt so easy to, like, garner that kind of attention to, like, make your mark. I did this. I made that. Like, I was the first to blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Which also is like, not necessarily true. Like, I don't know, it's just so funny. Like we were, we are this generation that like, especially because of its accessibility, have this need to fuel the really toxic idea I used to have at least as a teenager where my biggest fear was dying and nobody knowing who I was. And this permanent mark of me not being left behind, that used to really freak me out and make me existential. But now my greatest dream is to be able to pass away and like.

[Drew]

And everybody forget about it.

[Enya]

No, my greatest dream is to be able to pass away, period. No, but to pass away like the people I love being able to like, describe me and like, obviously I know that we have like a platform and I'm sure like, this sounds like big headed, but I don't think it's that big headed because like, there's plenty of people. That is amazing. Sorry. We're watching people row by on a boat. I'm sure there are people who like have consumed our content and will like remember us as this, like, as these figures in their life forever. But like now my biggest dream is like, but like that won't carry on. It's like we're not. I'm not. I don't know. I don't know what I'm trying to say, but I think like we all had this like crazy idea that we had to be something. And the Internet definitely fuels that where like you feel like you have to be this bigger than life person. Or maybe that's just me. I think I used to also project that on people in my life.

[Drew]

That's like the average thought. I could be completely wrong and you could be 100% right. But I feel like, I don't know, it's just such like a weird conversation because like there are definitely people watching this that want to be famous and then there are people watching this that like, don't. Not even famous, but you know, like whatever you're saying, like, like feel like.

[Enya]

Oh, I need to be remembered forever. I don't have that anymore. Though to clarify, that was something like back in like high school and like middle school. That would like freak me out. Also, like, I hope my fucking coochie is not out because I keep wearing shorts.

[Drew]

We had the crop in the last episode because India's whole ass and Kuda Bronson was hanging out. So we like cropped it and zoomed it in really far, which I think it probably fudged up the hat bit a little bit. It cropped out the hat, which, like, whatever, as long as you're not exposing yourself. But yeah, I'm wearing shorts and I have to be turned to the side because I'm scared of y' all seeing my wiener bulge. And now that I brought attention, y' all are going to be looking for it. But trust.

[Enya]

With all that being said, though, I think, like, a good segue is, like, someone like Serena Williams who will go down historically for the rest of. As long as humans are existing. Like, Serena Williams will always be this, like, prominent figure. But I'm confused because people keep being like, oh, like, her last serve. Her last serve. Like, I think she will always serve. Like, why do people keep saying, like, oh, she just had her last serve. Like, you can serve until, like, you're, like, 90 something. Like, she's young. Like, she's not. Like, she didn't just have her last serve.

[Drew]

Like, they didn't mean like. Like, oh, serve. Like, they meant, like, her tennis serve.

[Enya]

Like, in her professional career, she can serve tennis. Like, aesthetic. Like. Like, tennis court. Like, you mean like.

[Drew]

Like hitting the ball across the net for the first time, but she didn't do it for the first time or last time.

[Enya]

Y' all are confusing me.

[Drew]

No, I. I've never. Like, really, I've. I've always known who. Serena. That was your joke.

[Enya]

That was my idea.

[Drew]

That was the one thing you wanted to do.

[Enya]

When we started filming, I was like, dude, because we've been out in the woods, like, I've just had this, like, clear, blank minds, and I haven't thought of anything funny to say. Like, I don't know if I'm gonna have anything funny to say.

[Drew]

Yeah, y' all all thought the second to last episode, two episodes ago, was the worst ever episode we ever created, which I see that shit. Don't fucking say that to me, because I will end this shit now. You will never see my face again. If you are ungrateful again, how am I supposed to fucking turn it on every fucking time for you guys? How do you expect me to be putting out a banger episode every week anyways? That's just another conversation for another time. This will be the worst episode.

[Enya]

We're getting old. No, we're not getting old.

[Drew]

Like, since you brought up Serena Williams, that is, like, I used to be, like, obsessed with her. Like, her and her sister.

[Enya]

Like, say, Serena Venus, what are you trying to say? I mean, like, I'm proud that I'm.

[Drew]

A straight man, that I love can.

[Enya]

Idolize so many beautiful, talented women.

[Drew]

Yeah, exactly. But I kind of like vanilla wasn't keeping up. What? What did you say? I didn't hear you.

[Enya]

I said you smell so clean.

[Drew]

Thank you. But I never really. I haven't been keeping up with her career recently and I. So I just like deep dive and watch like a bunch of documentaries and mini episodes and everything on her. And like she is that like she, like she is unironically one of the greatest athletes of all time. Like she's in the top five. Like I actually would say like what she did for tennis and like just sports in general is like on the same level as like Kobe Bryant or LeBron James or like, like Dirk Nowitzki or something. Like someone who like completely changed the game forever. What?

[Enya]

Durg Nowinski?

[Drew]

He's a basketball player. Number 41. My, my old, old passwords used to be Dirk Nowitzki. 41. Wait.

[Enya]

Dirk.

[Drew]

Dirk.

[Enya]

D I R K. Oh, I thought you said D E R G N A like the Dirgna.

[Drew]

No, Winski. Dirg. Nowinsky. No, Dirt. D I R K. But I'm gonna.

[Enya]

Name my kids something.

[Drew]

So I was thinking about that today. I was like, what am I gonna name my bait? Like kids and like the first we.

[Enya]

Get around one baby and we can't believe it.

[Drew]

The first name that comes to my brain every single time is like Bingus or like Dingo or some like I'm.

[Enya]

Gonn, Baby, Hinga, Dinga, Durga.

[Drew]

No, literally my baby's gonna be named like Bingo or some like Dingus. I love the name Dingus. Like, oh, it's giving like Bingus energy, you know, like that like Bingus is such a cute name to me. Or like Bug or Turtle.

[Enya]

I think you could get away with like giving your kid a up middle name and calling them that. And then they're like, first name being good.

[Drew]

Imagine your kid's name being Bug. That's so Bug is up. No, that's like a cute name. Like, oh, look at little Bug. Hello guy.

[Enya]

That's cute when they're like crawling around but then when they're like 15, you're like bug. Bug. That's crazy.

[Drew]

My parents didn't think about my name like that. Actually they did.

[Enya]

I don't know how my parents thought about my name because like Enya I feel like is a good adult name. But like a baby name that's really cute maybe. That is huge.

[Drew]

I'm gonna name my like that's like a cute toddler name. Calling a Todd, like Drew like, no, that just Drew. Or like Drew Phillips. Andrew. Like, Andrew, I can't. I want to fish.

[Enya]

Did you ever get called Andrew?

[Drew]

Like, on the first day of school? And then I would, like, correct them. I'd be like, my name is not Andrew. I do not resonate with that name. Call me Drew. Call me Drew.

[Enya]

Yeah, I. I went by my middle name sometimes, and then my family had nicknames for me, but it was always just Anya. And nobody gave me, like, cool nicknames until y' all gave me Ernie. But, yeah, that's my thing. Okay. Everybody who named their kids some weird thing in the past, like, four or five years, you could have just made that the middle name. Or maybe because they're all the famous babies, those are the middle names and just the names they're letting us know. Do. Do you get me? Which. That would be an awesome discovery to know, like, people who are like, yeah, I named my baby, like, 007 to find out later on that that's. That was just their, like, public name.

[Drew]

That's what I said that before on the podcast.

[Enya]

Really?

[Drew]

Talking about Elon Musk's baby's name.

[Enya]

Oh, like, you think that's just, like, the public name that they decided to, like, let people know?

[Drew]

Yeah, I think it was like a publicity stunt. I think they wanted to hide the identity of their child. And I think it was. It was a mixture of many things. But their name is not aex210, whatever the fuck it is.

[Enya]

Like, you never know.

[Drew]

I don't think so. I don't think they're that fucking crazy.

[Enya]

But I'm going to name My Baby COVID 19.

[Drew]

Bitch. I'm going to name my baby Monkeypox. Oh, I'm going to have twins and name it monkeypox and COVID 19. That's actually so cute.

[Enya]

Wait, I'm gonna name my baby Covidiot. Okay, this. Yeah, we have to talk about this.

[Drew]

Oh, my God. My jewel is stuck in my shoe and I literally cannot get it out.

[Enya]

I need to clarify that when I say this. I do not stand by these ideas. I think you all know better. You know where my moral grounding lies for the most part, because you don't know me and you don't know what I've been up to, and you don't know what I've been through. But for the most part, all of y' all know where we stand. Don't be silly. But we have come to the conclusion that the, like, right wing freaks who name the crazy conspiracy theories and make all these like, nicknames like Covidiot, Plan Demic need to be naming crayons.

[Drew]

Yeah, they need, like, they, they, they like, turn that out. Like, Pandemic is one of the funniest things I've ever heard in my entire life. Like, unironically. I think it's one of the most genius things I' heard.

[Enya]

I wish I heard the first person to, like, hear it because it had.

[Drew]

On Twitter.

[Enya]

Yeah. It had to have been in casual conversation that they were so heated that, like, plandemic came out.

[Drew]

Yeah, like, it's, it's. It really is one, like, a great name now.

[Enya]

Covidiot. Covid. You fucking Covidiot.

[Drew]

Libtard. Slay.

[Enya]

Libtard. That we were naming a bunch the other day, and I can't, like, think of all of them.

[Drew]

Yeah, but like, but they, they. We. I think what we settled on was, like, it's because everybody. I genuinely believe this has, like, a creative side to him. You may not feel it, or you may not, like, know how to access it, but everybody is, like, can be a very creative person.

[Enya]

Everybody can have a hobby.

[Drew]

Exactly. And I think the problem with conservatives is that they don't have a creative outlet, but when they do turn up and turn out their creative brains, they put it in. They put that energy into naming the liberal agenda, which is. That's. I think that's what it ended up being.

[Enya]

That's why I've, like, said. I don't know if I've said this on the podcast, but I think, like, if schools implemented classes that force you to choose a hobby. And I don't mean, like, randomly giving people art or music or like, PE and those things, because, like, when you make those kind of things mandatory and you, like, don't let a child or person choose the thing that they're going to spend their free time on, it's rare. Something like good grows from that.

[Drew]

I have to re situate my bony ass hurts so bad on these rocks. I need to sit on.

[Enya]

Yeah. I just have a plush, like, butt. So, like, I'm comfortable personally.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Enya]

But no, can you. Oh, when we check for ticks later, can I spread my hole and you can take a look in?

[Drew]

Yeah, only if you, like, take a look at my scrotum. Yeah, my ball.

[Enya]

So I haven't lifted your balls to, like, alleviate the weight.

[Drew]

You don't want to go down there right now. Oh, you really don't.

[Enya]

When's the last time you showered?

[Drew]

It's been like 14 days or something. But it's. It's okay. Because we're out in nature.

[Enya]

That is not. That's like. That's not true. I will say, though, I thought about this today because, like, you all know I don't like laying on a bed that I'm sleeping in with my outside clothes on. But I got back today and I did that, and I thought about it.

[Drew]

You faced your fears, but I felt.

[Enya]

Better about it because I was like, wait, let's be real. When I'm in LA and I'm, like, sitting on public furniture and, like, I'm in cities, I'm in Miami. I'm like, outside also. Miami is just humid and gross. So, like, you come on, you smell. And there's no place. You smell more, like, outside when you come inside than Miami. There's no place. Do you get me? Like, that heat and humidity, like, then.

[Drew]

The rain, like, the same vibe. I'm serious.

[Enya]

You want Texas to beat Miami so.

[Drew]

Bad, but I don't. You want Miami to beat Texas so bad.

[Enya]

I didn't even.

[Drew]

We don't have to. Like, you're just like, well, you just said, do get me. And I was like, I have that.

[Enya]

What's better, Miami or Texas? Like, be honest.

[Drew]

Neither.

[Enya]

We'll throw a poll. That's going to. Come on.

[Drew]

Both suck balls.

[Enya]

What's better, Florida or Texas? Come on, guys.

[Drew]

They lie around the same place in the equator.

[Enya]

I know. They. They also both suck. Equivalently. They. They're both great. And they suck for the same reasons. I think, like, very similar reasons is why those places are awesome.

[Drew]

We're not naming it, but I think you are. You're picking up what we're putting down.

[Enya]

Come back. Come. Where'd you go? Come back. What was I talking about? Oh, yeah. But then I went and I laid inside and I was like, dude, it's a cool day. I'm in nature. Nothing that's on me. I was just like, I don't have Covid on me. I can lay down.

[Drew]

Yeah, Nothing. Nothing out here is ever that dirty. Like, I actually, like, don't think, like, dirt from the forest floor, like, around us is dirty.

[Enya]

No, I don't either. When I dropped my chocolate and I ate it, I was like. And I left it there for a minute because I thought about it. It dropped, and I was like, am I gonna eat that? Yeah. And then I picked it up and I ate it.

[Drew]

Me squatting or sitting on the sidewalk in New York City is a completely different story. That's piss. Like, grime and germs.

[Enya]

Piss. Poo. Poo. Sperm. That is a up word.

[Drew]

Sperm.

[Enya]

Are you about to grab that chocolate? Yeah, dude. I was gonna make comment on it on the other one because the other one being shaped like we have a chocolate. That's chocolate. Chocolatey tree stump. And this is freaking me out because when we put it down right behind us, I was like, this is the most, like, unnatural thing ever.

[Drew]

The bees are coming.

[Enya]

Imagine, Imagine. What would you do? Isn't there a scary movie about bees or am I tripping?

[Drew]

I don't know. I know there's one about leeches, but.

[Enya]

I was like, dude, humans are so funny because why did we, like, make chocolates? And then we're like, you know what we should do is, like, make chocolates that look like little tree stumps and.

[Drew]

Eat them because it's cute and fun.

[Enya]

Like, humans do that all the time. Like, we, like, simulate, like, real things into, like, oh, these don't look nearly as good as they do on the package.

[Drew]

They look like. Are they yummy, though? I've been saying yummy and yummers a lot recently. Like, oh, these are yummers. Yeah. I feel like we both can feel this. It's kind of left my body since being out here, though. But, like, I have been so, like, tired and sad and, like, fed up and, like, not feeling good recently. I hate it so much. I have no reason to feel this way. But I do. And it's just that depression never leave.

[Enya]

I know I feel that, but I feel like I get that in the summertime and then fall time. I feel, like, really, like, at peace. But there's like a trinkle. There's like the lightest layer of sadness, but it makes it feel good. Like the weather. Like, I know by the time we get back to la, it's going to be the best weather, which is just like, kind of overcast, chilly, and then still on, like, sunny days, it's going to be chilly. Even though there's a crazy heat wave happening right now. So I'm talking as if, like, literally on Monday it's going to be 103 degrees, and on Tuesday it's going to be 101.

[Drew]

Damn.

[Enya]

And I think today it's 100 degrees.

[Drew]

Damn.

[Enya]

But I know what you're feeling. But I think you might be feeling that because, like, being in New York was like, a draining thing for you because you're just so not accustomed to being socially like, dude, I think living like that, it's.

[Drew]

It's a part of that. I just, like, am socially, like, completely drained and I I try to be able to rejuvenate, but, like, everybody's on top of each other and always doing something so I couldn't, like, really escape. But I think the real thing is, is I've just been on iPhone in a different capacity. I've been, like, looking at things and, like, like, really letting, like, the. The world ending get to my head and, like, actually starting to believe it again. And, like, there's all this crazy shit, because when I say, like, the world's going to end in two to three years, like, I don't actually believe that. It's always a joke. But now, like, with everything going on in the world, like the. The droughts and all the flooding and everything, I'm just like, dude, it actually is ending and we're done. Okay, so this is something that I've noticed. And it's like with literally everywhere I go, no matter the state, no matter the country, no matter the city, why, when I enter a solo stall bathroom, like, like a gender neutral bathroom, there is a mirror in the perfect position so I can see my penis. Period. That's it.

[Enya]

Really.

[Drew]

Every. Every bathroom I've ever been into, the mirror is, like, the perfect angle or, like, the perfect length where you can just watch your penis as it pees.

[Enya]

In, like, the single stalls, like in the handicap stalls where there's a mirror.

[Drew]

No, I mean, like a gender neutral bathroom. One toilet in the mirror.

[Enya]

Oh, I know what you're talking about, dude. I hate that. I hate when I go into the bathroom and that is there. It's not. I know what you're talking about. It's not in every bathroom, but always at some point you count. You, like, see it, or, like, you go into a bathroom and it's there, and it's like, why, like, what was the thought process between, like, making me watch myself piss? Like, yeah, why are you making me. Why are you subjecting me to this?

[Drew]

And it's like, look at your penis and be ashamed.

[Enya]

Oh, you're shameful of yourself.

[Drew]

It's just so big down there. It's just like, really hard to actually.

[Enya]

You shouldn't be shameful of that, though. That's a big. That's a beautiful thing.

[Drew]

It's just, like, really, really hard.

[Enya]

Bullied you for that. It's really hard, Drew. That's beautiful. And you should be so proud. Well, ever since I was, like, seven and I saw this thing that in Miami, there were a bunch of people going through and putting secret cameras in bathrooms, I, since that day, have never entered a public Restroom, but not like it's different. Like in those single use, like gender neutral bathrooms or just like single use bathrooms where it's like at a restaurant there's a boy and a girl room or the gender neutral ones, those kind of bathrooms. I'm always looking around. I'm always like, if there's like an air freshener machine like kind of pointed directly at the toilet and it looks like it has not been changed for like ever or it looks too new, I'm like. Which means every single time I see one, I'm like, that is a camera. And that is not real. Like that is fully a camera. Somebody's watching me pee and then I feel like I'm putting on a performance while I pee.

[Drew]

Well, there's a camera right over there recording us on that tree. No, I'm actually being serious. It's a game camera. There are cameras literally everywhere over there on that tree.

[Enya]

Which one? I can't. I really can't see it for some reason.

[Drew]

Yeah, it's a game camera to attach to the sign.

[Enya]

Why can't I see it? It's like blended in so well.

[Drew]

Has to be hidden, I guess.

[Enya]

I also don't know what cameras on trees would look like. Yeah, I'm trying to find like a big.

[Drew]

Dslr.

[Enya]

Yeah, I try to find the David Dobrik camera that's strapped up to a.

[Drew]

Tree with the gorilla grip tripod. Yeah.

[Enya]

Okay. Why are DSLRs still that big?

[Drew]

They don't. I think it's at this point, like when I was looking for a camera, when I wanted one, I wanted the biggest camera possible. I thought like, the bigger it was, the better it was, the more powerful it was. And I think that is still a lot of people's thoughts on them. And I think they're just keeping them that big because there's no way the internals of a camera need to be that fucking massive. Like this camera is better than the camera that we are recording on my vlog camera. And it's fucking tiny.

[Enya]

Yeah, it's like three times as small. Not you having a smaller camera.

[Drew]

I have to like compensate in some ways.

[Enya]

Oh, because of your like giant wiener. There are so many bugs and I know I'm going to get bit by mosquitoes in a crazy way. Oh, also before I move on the air freshener thing in the bathroom and if I'm in the bathroom and then it squeezes, like it shoots out air freshener while I'm in there, I'm like, oh, what a coincidence that that's Shooting out while I'm peeing. No, bitch, that's the record button. And what it's doing is it's covering the sound of the shutter on the camera.

[Drew]

Psycho.

[Enya]

And now somebody has a video of me peeing. But then I like, I get comfort. But I'm the. Oh, my God, they're so cute. But I get comfort from the idea that, like, it's one person who has that picture and I'm like, what are the chances they share it?

[Drew]

No, that's my vibe. It's like, if my nudes leak, I'm kind of just like, relief. Like, it's like my brother dying. Like, I just like, get relief.

[Enya]

Do you just compare your nudes leaking to your brother dying?

[Drew]

Yeah, it's on the same level. It's like, yeah, I feel that scarce, but my wikifeets dropped. Someone made a wiki feeds for me and uploaded a bunch of wikifeet pics.

[Enya]

Do you have a high score or a low score?

[Drew]

Last time I checked, I had seven one stars and three or two. No one. Literally one one or five star. So I had like a terrible rating. Like, I had a half of a star rating, which is fucked up. But they. They purposely uploaded my gross feet pics. I just have gross fucking feet. Like, my feet are disgusting. Like, I am so embarrassed by them. And that's why I make jokes out of them so much. Is so y' all can't say that to me. But I know I have gross feet, so I make them.

[Enya]

When we were getting, like, pedicures and I went to make a comment, you will you go? No.

[Drew]

Like, absolutely not. Like, no one else is allowed to make fun of my feet. Dude, we were getting our pedicures. I almost kicked the out of the person doing my feet. Like, it was so bad.

[Enya]

They have to. Yeah, they have to upgrade the. The like the one. I don't need you to, like, shave my feet. Like cheddar cheese. Like, I don't need that because personally I have soft, voluptuous, sexy feet. Let's be real.

[Drew]

Let's just.

[Enya]

So I don't know. I don't need you to cheese grate my feet. But, like, can they upgrade that so that it's not like the most ticklish thing on the planet? Like, when do humans get the iOS update that that doesn't tickle that and.

[Drew]

Like, all the shavings, where do they go? Because I will eat that later. And I hope they aren't eating my stuff skin, because I want to be eating it because. Or like at least like. Like, give it to me, you know? Like, I just. Like, I want that to eat later. Like, give me the option.

[Enya]

No, I don't. They are not eating your feet shavings. They are. They. Like, that is not the protocol.

[Drew]

Like, well, someone is. Because if I'm not doing it, someone has to be doing it.

[Enya]

No, they just throw it away. That's what everybody does. Nobody's eating their foot shavings.

[Drew]

Wait, like, I know I'm literally just joking, but, like, the skin around my fingers tastes so good. And I know my foot skin tastes good. Like, I just know it.

[Enya]

I have had my foot skin before. It's gotten that bad. When I was a kid.

[Drew]

Well, I have my.

[Enya]

When I was a kid, I would bite my big toe.

[Drew]

Yeah. I have my anxiety toe. It's back because the world is ending.

[Enya]

That's my confession. Don't shame it. Oh, and my other confession is. Yeah, it's true. I don't wash my hydro flask.

[Drew]

Oh, yeah. Literally, she doesn't. Sorry. I, like, started choking on chocolate. She doesn't. And there's black mold. COVID 19 was created in that hydro flask because you don't watch it all you that don't wash your hydro flasks.

[Enya]

That's where you're the reason. And that's why you have tonsil rocks.

[Drew]

I don't know why you're talking to them. You're the one to question.

[Enya]

I don't use hydro flasks anymore because I had the bad habit of, like, not washing them. Wait, but what's the water bottle I use at home? I use something at home. Do I have a hydro flask at home?

[Drew]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. And it sits in the sink. You. You put coffee in it, and then it sits in the bottom of the sink because you don't want to wash it. So it sits there. And then I wash it and it still sits there. And then you use it and like, two weeks later, and the cycle literally repeats itself. But I wash your hydro flask for you, like, the green one that you put coffee in. Because I'm like, she does not need to be drinking.

[Enya]

I'm not using that one as much.

[Drew]

But I don't have curdled rotten milk. Like, gray matter. You're eating, you're drinking literal brain gray matter.

[Enya]

I. Okay, I don't use them for anything but water now. But I do not take back what I said. I do not watch wash hydro flasks. Like, I would like to believe that whatever material is being used, like, will Deteriorate my bacteria. And, like, honestly, my bacteria, like, can't be that bad. It's like, y' all drink kombucha. Like, you don't know where that bacteria was being fermented. Like, why can't I have my own backwash? Fermented kombucha. Like, it's me.

[Drew]

I had that idea the other day, like, something similar to that, where I was like, dude, my germs can't be that bad, so I don't care. You know what I mean?

[Enya]

Like, my germs are not, like, it came out of me, like, unless it's, like, like, literally my fecal matter, like, that's coming out with, like, purpose. But I'm like, my spit. My spit is in my mouth to, like, I don't know.

[Drew]

Every time I swim in a natural pond. Lake, Creek. Is that why River. I am convinced I'm gonna get a brand. Eating amoeba. Like, I jumped into that water yesterday. Insert clip, boom. And my ears got filled with water, and I was like, oh, it's done. Like, I'm done. Like, the. The germs are in my ears, and they're gonna make their way to my brain, and, like, within a week, I'll probably be dead.

[Enya]

Oh, my God, Drew.

[Drew]

I can only wish her so much.

[Enya]

I do, too. It's okay. I do, too.

[Drew]

What?

[Enya]

That's the thing about us is we have similar, like, wishes and wants. Like, I want you to pass away. You want to pass away. I want to live a life without you. You don't want to live, so then that just kind of, like, is that how you're craz?

[Drew]

What? What if I cried? Like, have you seen me cry? You see me cry?

[Enya]

Yeah, I've seen you cry. Not, like, as often as you've seen me cry.

[Drew]

Yeah. Because boys aren't allowed to cry.

[Enya]

Yeah. So I give you, like, three passes a year.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Enya]

And then the year of your brother's celebration.

[Drew]

Celebration.

[Enya]

I gave you one pass.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Enya]

Because I believe in moving on. I'm kidding. That's.

[Drew]

Get over it.

[Enya]

Literally. My dad, when I'm explaining to him why I'm.

[Drew]

When did I cry to?

[Enya]

Not. You didn't necessarily cry to me, but it would be, like, you know, like, the occasional, like. Like, tearing up and, like, talk. Trying to talk about it, like, that you would, like, maybe, like, cry.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Enya]

And then, like, during it, you cried, but you didn't necessarily cry next to me. Remember when we had to sit separately? We don't have to leave this in. But remember when we Were at the funeral when we got separated all the.

[Drew]

Way at the end, dude, I felt so.

[Enya]

Basically was just, like, alone. And I was like, oh, this is weird.

[Drew]

Next to my other family members, comforting them. Dude, I felt so uncomfortable by that. Not like, anything you did. I was like, but in my head, like, I'm not kidding. Like, half of the funeral, I was just like, I think I should go sit by Enya. Or like, I should, like, we should go somewhere.

[Enya]

I was so fine.

[Drew]

No, I, I. But it was just like, so much, like, literally, it was so filled in my head, I was like, I have to go over there. Like, I feel bad. She's all alone, and I don't want, like, my, like, family members being like, why is she over there? And, like, getting upset with you for being there or something. I. I just, like, spiraled out of control. But it distracted me for most of it, which was actually really good.

[Enya]

But damn, my presence distracted you?

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Enya]

You hate me.

[Drew]

No, like, in a good way.

[Enya]

I know bae. I know bae. But, yeah, like, I. So I've seen you cry, definitely. But you, I mean, obviously you seem to cry.

[Drew]

Tell me why. I still had stage fright and I thought everybody was looking at me when I went on stage for my brother's funeral. I was like, damn. Like, I gotta serve well to be fucking good.

[Enya]

Everyone is looking at you, but, I.

[Drew]

Mean, chairs and, like, looking at me like, perceiving.

[Enya]

Like, you were like. You thought people were like, oh, he looks like shit, right?

[Drew]

Yeah, exactly. I showed out.

[Enya]

Yeah, that was. You ate.

[Drew]

I ate down. I down at my brother's funeral. Like, that's the thing about me. I. I'm going to dress.

[Enya]

The thing about me is I looked like shit at my mom's funeral. And the thing about me. No, here's the true thing about me is, yes, an espresso machine was bought to her, brought to her funeral. Yes, I made multiple lattes at her funeral. And what about it?

[Drew]

You're literally.

[Enya]

Literally, what about it? Yes, I had a beer at my mom's funeral.

[Drew]

Oh, yeah. I mean, you got to do what you got to do.

[Enya]

I was underage drinking at my mom's funeral. Now what? FBI, Police? What are you gonna do, arrest me? I was grieving.

[Drew]

I'm actually gonna call the cops because that's, like, really fucked up.

[Enya]

No, please. It hasn't been 10 years.

[Drew]

No, if you drink underage, like, I'm like, you're done. Like, you're over.

[Enya]

I was like, okay, fine, I'm gonna blame it on my parents. It's my parents fault. It not. It literally being one of my parents fault. But yeah, Drew see me cry like an incomprehensible. I just cry so once a week. Yeah, I cry like so easily. I cry very often. I cry all the time. And then every now and then, I get a good panic attack. Sobbing. And then I'm so embarrassed.

[Drew]

I've never once been like, oh, she's crying. Like, I've never once.

[Enya]

You know what it is? It's not necessarily the embarrassment. It's like, I don't know, I think it's like, I feel bad because I feel like there's like, obviously this problem that the people around me, like, I know you and like anybody else who's ever around me wants to be able to like, specifically when I'm having a panic attack.

[Drew]

Oh, dude, that's.

[Enya]

I need to get this out of my head because, like, that only ever makes it worse. But when I'm like having a panic attack and the people around. Around me are trying to help, I start to feel like guilty on this. Yeah. And then my guilt makes it worse because I'm like, I need to stop. I need to stop.

[Drew]

And then I'm like, you literally should never feel guilty. What I have trouble with is like, I don't know how to comfort people when they are in that state. I mean, I try to, like, I do my best and I try to make people laugh and just like, get their mind off of it. But like, like, physically comforting people, like, that's all I was thinking about. It was just like, do I, like, pat her on the shoulder? Like, what the do I do right now? Like, when I'm crying and you're around me, like, you're like, very physical and it's very comforting. I'm like, is that what she wants? I don't know. Just very, very curious. I just don't know how to comfort people when they're in that state.

[Enya]

I. Yeah, I was talking about that to somebody and I was like, I don't know what I need in those moments. Like, I really just don't know what I need. What I need is to disappear and not be.

[Drew]

What you need is Instagram.

[Enya]

Yeah. What I need is to open up Tik Tok and watch TikTok.

[Drew]

You need TikTok just a lot and.

[Enya]

Disassociate from the fact that I'm alive. And then I'm like, oh, my God, what was I crying about? This song is so good. That's like, no, that's actually the last.

[Drew]

Thing the Last panic attack, you had.

[Enya]

Music like ambient play music playing, and then I'm like, oh, yeah. Like, I'm not being dramatic right now. My life is about to end.

[Drew]

The last cry you had, you were listening or the music that was on in the car was the most anxiety inducing music I've ever heard in my entire life. Like, if I was in your state and I was hearing that music, I would have been like, actually freaking.

[Enya]

No, it did. Exponentially.

[Drew]

And I was almost like, hey, can you turn off the radio? But, like, I just, like, didn't want to make anybody mad. But literally, I had that same thought.

[Enya]

Yeah, no, it definitely did, like, exponentiate it because it was like, there's a critter up there. I know. It was like shoe gazy, like, ambient, but then like, scream, scream. Like, it was a crazy thing to be listening to. But there was one song that I wish I like. I wanted to ask what it is was because within my panic attacks, I could still be like, wow, I know in a year I'll miss this moment because I'm fucking crazy.

[Drew]

You are a psycho.

[Enya]

I am crazy. Like, I genuinely like.

[Drew]

You're taking after crying selfies every single time you cry.

[Enya]

I got it. I gotta get it down. You know what? Cause no one looks as good as I do after they cry like that. And I'm see, that is a hill.

[Drew]

I will die on. I said that literally the last episode. I was like, you are like a gorgeous fucking crier.

[Enya]

I sound out of my mind in these episodes. Every single episode, it's like, yeah, during my big emotional break, I'm always. Because I'm growing, I'm changing, I'm ever evolving.

[Drew]

Yeah, well, the most angering, most frustrating thing I think that can happen to you, the most devastating thing is missing your exit when you're driving. That sends me over the edge in a way that, like, I actually cannot describe. Like, I see red and I, like, freak the out on myself. I'm like, are you kidding me? When I miss my edit, it's like. Or exit. It's like, it's devastating. Any. Any wrongdoing while driving will send me over the edge. Specifically that I'm doing. I don't care if someone else I'm with, like, misses the exit, like, at all. I'm like, girl, it's not that deep. But when I do it, I feel like the stupidest person ever. It's because I'm just so, like, tapped in, zoned in, focused on everything but driving. You know what I mean? Like, you guys no, wait, like, you, like, you forget that you're driving when you drive. Like, you. You just kind of do it mindlessly.

[Enya]

Wait, so you're not cognitive when you're driving?

[Drew]

I don't think anybody is. Like, I just kind of like, it's like second nature. It's like breathing. Like, I don't realize I'm doing. Just happens.

[Enya]

No, I feel that, but I never miss sexes. And I'm like, the best. Wait, what?

[Drew]

Yeah, like, I'm also, like, super on, like, hella substances.

[Enya]

Like, like, like, that's so bad.

[Drew]

It was just lsd.

[Enya]

No, don't admit to that. At least, like, you can keep. No, you can keep doing it and, like, I don't care. But just like, like, for the sake of our, like, image online, don't, like, post.

[Drew]

I popped a tab of lsd. I took a Fentanyl. Roxy.

[Enya]

Well, I am convinced that I'm the best driver ever. Like, and I'm not kidding. I genuinely think I am the best driver in at least the US And I stand by that. And, like, other people will be like, no, I am. I. No, I am genuinely the best driver you could put me in, in any city, in any climate, and in any car, and I will drive that bitch safely.

[Drew]

I was impressed when you were driving around New York and effectively. Damn, that's like, pretty, pretty sick that you were able to do it because. And then I was like, do I think I would be able to do that? No, like, not at all. I would miss an exit and have a freak, freak out meltdown and punch a hole through the window.

[Enya]

I've driven. I've driven in other countries. I've driven in Portugal very easily. So easy. I've driven in Mexico. So easy. I've driven in Hawaii, which is technically, I guess, a part of the US Girl.

[Drew]

I've driven in your mama's vagina. And I drove deep.

[Enya]

Oh, I'm glad you're driving around dust roads. What are you in the desert and my mom's urn. Spider webs are so awesome. Look at that spider web in the.

[Drew]

I was looking at that one over there, dude.

[Enya]

Yeah, that one's crazy. But look at this one right here in that tree. In this, like, tiny tree.

[Drew]

I don't see it. Wait, where? Oh, the critter. Ew, That's a bat. Oh, no, it's not. Oh, I almost freaked. I almost ended the episode here.

[Enya]

I love bats. No, I'll. I'll show you the spider web I'm looking at. I actually might run over and Go take a picture of it because it's, like, so pretty.

[Drew]

Oh, at the bottom. Yeah.

[Enya]

Should I go, wait, where's the sun? No, I still have some sun left. Spider webs are so crazy because, like, no, I'm not gonna start thinking about it because I was, like, standing out here while you were inside. Like, I came out here to, like, look around, see where we're gonna film, and I was standing right there and I was like, damn, dude. I am, like, so incredibly insignificant. And, like, I sit here and I get, like, so, like, incredibly wrapped up and at peak human emotion over, like, everything happening. But you've been saying this whole episode. But then I stand there and I'm like, when I die, this. This, like, will keep going. And that is so fudgeing. Awesome. And it's, like, such a comforting feeling where it's just like, dude, it will go on. There will be, like. There's already multiple bitches just like me. I am like, every other bitch. And then, like, one day there will be some freak ass bitch around my age standing there looking out at the grass and having the same revelation. And nothing I've thought is unique. Nothing I have felt is unique.

[Drew]

Dude. Yeah, that is, like, literally. That used to freak me out, but I'm so at peace with it. I love, love, love. I've said it before, but the idea that, like, in, like, 200 years after my death, like, I will not be remembered. I will not be thought about. Like, no one will, like, literally ever, like, think of me. And I don't know why, but that feels just so, like, so sweet. Like, my body will be recycled back to the earth and I will be used for good. And it's, like, really, really nice.

[Enya]

I mean, for me, it literally, like. Sorry I cut you off. What were you. What were you gonna finish saying?

[Drew]

I was just saying it feels really nice. And, like, I. I like. I think that, like, sounds like a scary thing to say. Or, like, it could be, like, misconstrued.

[Enya]

I know it could be misconstrued that we, like, literally both want to pass away.

[Drew]

But that's not like. I mean, when I'm 87 years old.

[Enya]

Or 112 years old, I. At this point, and I think we've both come to this conclusion, we used to be like, dude, we're gonna die. We're gonna die, like, at such a young age or whatever, which is, like, an awful thing to think and, like, knock on wood, True wood. Can I knock on that?

[Drew]

Wood on my penis?

[Enya]

Sometimes when we're not around wood, And I need to knock on wood. I just knock on Drew.

[Drew]

I'll just get hurt real quick.

[Enya]

It's easy for him. It's easy. But I keep getting bit by mosquitoes and I'm allergic to mosquito bites now.

[Drew]

Sweet blood, like, have not touched me once. They haven't gotten me once.

[Enya]

Those birds were just playing in that tree. I forgot what.

[Drew]

Fuck birds.

[Enya]

But now I'm like, damn. Like, I genuinely am convinced that I'm gonna. Oh, did you poop?

[Drew]

I shit myself. I fucking shit myself. And you help me.

[Enya]

No, help me. And I'm not wiping.

[Drew]

Help me. I shit myself.

[Enya]

Now I'm convinced that I'm gonna live, like a very long life. And I'm gonna be like one of those annoying people who. Yes, I will. Look at Everybody I knew. 1. Here's four things or like a few things I've been thinking about recently. Yes, I will be the old person who drives around with young people. And I'm like, this used to be here. And that used to be like that. I remember when I was your age. Yeah, I still do that. And I will always do that when I'm old. I'm gonna do it, like, at an inconceivable amount. I think that's my new word. Like incomprehensible. But that I will see every young person, I will say to them, I remember when you were this small. I will be doing that. I. I see little, like humans now and I'm like, I will be telling that, that I saw them this small. Because this is.

[Drew]

It's a pride thing.

[Enya]

Yeah. This is actually insane.

[Drew]

Like, I know you better than you know yourself.

[Enya]

Yeah. Like, I've been around you. Oh, I've been around you. I will say that I missed the old days. Even though right now I'm like, this is the worst the earth has ever been. I'm sure in 50 years when, like, everything is melted and we have to live in like 300ft foot building your.

[Drew]

Skyscrapers in the desert.

[Enya]

Yeah. So that we're not drowning. I'll be like, oh, I miss the old days where you could drive around in like a cool car and now you are floating. That's so annoying. And I'll be like, damn, I miss when, like, CDs were a thing because I already feel like that. But yeah, I will be an old.

[Drew]

I don't. What are you even saying right now?

[Enya]

Oh, I was just saying I'm gonna live some so long.

[Drew]

Like we used to.

[Enya]

We used to be like, oh, we're not going to Live. We used to be like, I'm going to be dead by 30 and, like, all this, like, up that. I think, like, a lot of young people think because, like, for some reason, at the age of like, 15, 30 sounds like literally the oldest age, like, on the planet.

[Drew]

I'm so. I'm so excited to be 100 years old.

[Enya]

Yeah, I don't want to live to 100. I. I just don't want to be at the point where someone's, like, having to take care of me. Like, but I just.

[Drew]

Hopefully you can eat the most processed food on this planet. Like, I will even have an ass.

[Enya]

I know you can't plan for your health, but I am manifesting that I will live in good health and I'll be okay and things will work out for me because I am done thinking the worst. I'm done. I'm so done. I'm just. I'm a different woman. And I'm so excited. I am so excited to go back to LA and play with my CD player. Like, that's at the point I'm at in my life. Oh. But also when we were like, oh, it makes me feel so good to know that in 200 years, no one will think about me. For me, that helps my, like, cave woman brain of where. When I'm just like, every time I'm on the podcast and I'm like, no, I'm just on my caveman shit and, like, I don't think and I don't care. That's something that, like, has kind of led to that ideology where I'm just like, literally, in 13 B.C. weren't like, oh, my God, what's gonna happen tomorrow? They were like, I don't know what's happening. Yeah, I. I'm sure in 13 BC they had an idea, an inkling of what was happening, but I. I also have no gauge of time. Like, to me, I can't believe, like, were there cars in, like, the 1800s?

[Drew]

No, I don't think so. They had, like, carriages.

[Enya]

When did they have cars? In the 1900s, like 1903. Did they have cars?

[Drew]

Yeah, I think so. We'll look that up.

[Enya]

When did they make tanks? Because why?

[Drew]

Probably in the 70s or some shit.

[Enya]

Damn. Oh, my God, everything is so new still. It's scary.

[Drew]

No, that's the thing is, like, we're saying, like, we're going to be living in skyscrapers in 70 years, but that's not. We're going to be living the exact.

[Enya]

Same we are now, which is honestly pretty awesome. I don't want things to change anymore.

[Drew]

Was this fucking dinky mobile. Oh, it was a Benz 1987 6.

[Enya]

Not them having the bends in 19, girl.

[Drew]

The first car, 1886. But that's not a car. That's not a car.

[Enya]

That's a bicycle.

[Drew]

Yeah, like you're lying to yourself. Damn. They. The first car was invented in 1996.

[Enya]

No, Drew, you were literally born two years later. The car.

[Drew]

That's what I'm saying. That's crazy.

[Enya]

No, I don't. I think you're like, you're misreading something because there's no way.

[Drew]

Wow, that's really interesting, actually.

[Enya]

No, also now you're spreading misinformation.

[Drew]

So that's what you get to learn from today's podcast.

[Enya]

Me and Elsie watched a sped up recreation CGI thing of Pompey, and I didn't know what Pompey was.

[Drew]

Pompeii or wait, Popeye or Pompeii.

[Enya]

Pompeii. Same thing. Same thing.

[Drew]

Damn. Yeah, there's this one meme.

[Enya]

No one knew what I was saying.

[Drew]

Yeah, I knew what you were saying exactly. They definitely could not infer that because you said, I watch a speed up recreation of Popeye. But the. One of the best memes of all time is if they had selfie sticks in Pompeii and it's right here. That is literally one of the greatest.

[Enya]

I didn't know what Pompeii was. Like, I'm being so real. See, that's the thing about me is, like, because of how emotionally intellectual I am, people let me get away with being probably one of the dumbest humans on the planet. Like, I don't know how I got here. And it is because God gave me good, like, gut intuition and like, emotional capacity. But on all other playing fields, I am dumb. So expect very low grade intelligence from me.

[Drew]

Yep. It's academically, specifically, really hard to exist if Pompeii happened today.

[Enya]

Is that a statue?

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Enya]

Okay. Cause I was gonna say she's like, she's sexy. I don't even think we can put that on the screen. We'll blur it.

[Drew]

We'll blur it. But the critters are out.

[Enya]

Yeah, it's getting to that time. I need you to take a picture of me.

[Drew]

I need you to take a picture of me. You came out and you were like, I'm get a sexy photo of you. And you took one yesterday.

[Enya]

More. Come on, we'll. I'll take more. This is our last moment to ever be here because we probably won't make it.

[Drew]

That's what I'm thinking.

[Enya]

Major need to stop saying that to each other. We, like, literally, also, we need to stop saying it because I believe it.

[Drew]

Like, well, the only reason that legitimately, the only reason I believe it is because I burnt my finger last night, and it's probably going to get infected and fall off, and I probably won't make it.

[Enya]

Drew got frustrated with me because we were burning weenies over the fire on this, like, metal prong thing, and he was like, hold my buns down so my. My hot dogs come off. And then, like, I wasn't doing it at the speed and capacity that he needed, and he was like, okay, I'm gonna do it. And, like, went to go push it down, and his thumb pressed on the hot iron. And that's what you get for not letting me do what I needed to do. So in a way, it was deserved.

[Drew]

Yeah. So I burned my finger, and it hurts really bad. And it hurt really bad.

[Enya]

It's okay because I plopped it in my hole, and the juices, like, kind of fixed it.

[Drew]

No, what fixed it is I poured mustard all over it unironically. I know this sounds like some stupid that I always say, but I poured mustard. Mustard all over it. Dude. My, like, slurring and mispronounciate pronunciation of words and, like. Like, I actually think I'm, like, getting stupider. I don't know what the is going on, but it's driving me insane.

[Enya]

I can't screen time, and then we can tell you.

[Drew]

No, I can't. I can't say words anymore, and I can't finish thoughts, but I poured mustard all over the burn, and it actually, like, stopped the pain immediately, and I think it made it a lot better than it actually would be.

[Enya]

I wonder what's in. Oh, yeah, it doesn't look bad at all. Yeah, I wonder what's in mustard.

[Drew]

Mustoid mustard.

[Enya]

But, yeah, I burned Drew on purpose.

[Drew]

Yeah, she got one hot dog metal sticks and stabbed me with it, and it fucking hurt and made me cry my little eyes out. But, yeah. Should we tap into some media?

[Enya]

Yes. I'm gonna go take a photo of this web before the sun gets too low, and we'll insert it if it looks good, and if it looks bad, you won't see the photo. You start your media, though. Ew, my saggy bottoms. Oh, did you hear that?

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Enya]

Is that a motorcycle?

[Drew]

Yep. Okay, so I got three songs for you. We got Bull of the Woods, Rain in the Alders, and Forest park by FM Forest. Beautiful, beautiful songs really cure me when I'm sad. Actually, they probably just make me even more sad and hurt my feelings even more. Because I'm someone who's so affected by music that like, I actually like. If a sad song comes on, it will make me so sad. Like, I can't listen to sad music if I'm happy because it will ruin my mood. And if I listen to sad music when I'm sad, it'll put me deeper into a pit. And like, I know some people are like, no, I like that because, like, people can relate to my feelings. No, I don't need to be even more sad than I already am. I need to be surface level sad so I can wake up in the morning and scroll through Tick Tock for two hours and forget about it. Can't be even more sad than I already am. And then what have I been watching? I haven't really been watching anything lately. Like, it's kind of just been me on my iPad watching my YouTube videos. I've been watching so many cooking shows, which is crazy. I don't even cook, but I've been watching like, shows like cooking competition shows like Iron Chef Legends and shit like that. And like, it's been really, really fun. Actually, it's been really, really sweet. And I've also been listening to a lot of ag Cook. I love this album. Wait, what's it called? I don't fucking know. I don't know the name of the album off the top of my Apple vs 7G Crazy Crazy album. And India is taking a picture of me right now and I hope it comes out good. But I bet she doesn't have the exposure or light settings right on it because she doesn't use a light meter. You do have good gut intuition. But that's cameras. My media for this week.

[Enya]

Okay, let's see what my media is. I haven't been watching anything either. Also, this little patch is awesome. Also the sun. I knew it. The sun went down too much. So it wasn't like shining on it the way it was earlier. So it wasn't as nice. But like, you know, that's okay because at least I got to see it with my eyeballs. Should we try to see Devin Sydney tomorrow before you leave? Someone else want to see you? Oh, nah, you're popular.

[Drew]

I got.

[Enya]

That's a two. She, in a group chat with you and me was like, let's hang. Let. I want to hang out with him before he goes. And I was like, he's right Here. Have you been watching anything but Last Date by Jill Trifle and also Wichita Lineman by Jill Trithol. It's like synth versions of songs. I'm about to let you know. I think I already said this. Let you know by DJ Rashad. This mess. Maybe I said this on Patreon, but I'll say it here because Patreon has had it for a week or something extra. But Good Humor by Saint Etienne.

[Drew]

Yeah.

[Enya]

And that's it for me. That's all. Also like Sade.

[Drew]

Any Sade song you've been listening to so much. Ade.

[Enya]

Yeah, I love her. So good. It's insane. It's so good. Timeless music, dude. It's hard to know if you're going to make timeless music. Yeah, I don't want to listen to music out here because I'm just like.

[Drew]

Well, I just haven't been able to because my good headphones are at the house and my.

[Enya]

Now you're a bit spoiled.

[Drew]

Headphones are really good when they have batteries, but I don't have batteries, so the sound quality sucks balls. So I haven't been able to. But I would have loved to sit out here as the sun was setting, listening to my ambient music on full blast. But also, I just, like, haven't been really listening to music much lately because I just have been in weird moods.

[Enya]

Yeah, I feel that I haven't been listening to much, but when I do, that's what I was listening to that Amplified Heart album so much since I bought the cd. I think that's why I've been having listening to everything about the girl and shawl day. Because now that I have a really good CD player, I'm like, oh, I need to buy, like, all of my, like, classic CDs. Like, I would buy, like, CDs of, like, like, oh, Cuddy. Things that I really liked. But I'm like, oh, I need to also, like, amp up the side of it. That's just like, all these albums that I, like, love that I usually, like, just pass over when I'm at the store because I'm like, whatever. Like, I. I have that on my iPhone. But, like, that's not the way to do it because, like, Drew said, you want to own your music. Which sounds like me just being like, buy things, buy things, buy things. But you could get things for cheap and then you could own them. And it's like, this is my thing that I have, and I'm not giving my money to somebody. Although, like, those things are very viable.

[Drew]

150 a year on Spotify plus, put that into Discogs CDs that are 2 to 5, maybe $10 max. And I own basically the same amount of music I would have listened to on Spotify, if not more.

[Enya]

But I will say, like, things like Spotify are so viable because it is insane that, like, I'm also picking a wedgie. Like, crazy. It is insane that you get to have, like, you're having accessibility to that amount of music is, like, so unbelievable.

[Drew]

I love Spotify plus, like, unironically. How would I be able to listen to my podcast? Like, I'm not buying a CD of podcasts or I'm not subscribing. I don't know. Like, that's the only place I listen to my podcast.

[Enya]

Yeah, 100, but.

[Drew]

Okay.

[Enya]

Thank you guys so much for tapping in. Sorry if we were a little dimmer recently.

[Drew]

Yeah, we have some shit going on. Actually, we have nothing going on. I don't know why I'm fucking sad, but that's why the episodes have been fucking shitty, is because I want to die.

[Enya]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, he's gonna go die in the woods. He can only run so fast when he doesn't have real shoes on. Are you farting? Is that your shoes? Actually, is that your ass or shoes? Holy crap, Sam.