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Ryan Seacrest
Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and safeway. Now through June 24th. Score hot summer savings and earn four times the points. Look for in store tags on items like Kinder Bueno, Cheez It Crackers, Oscar Mayer Lunchables, and Just Bear Chicken Bites. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event long savings. Enjoy savings on top of savings when you shop in store or online for easy drive up and go pickup or delivery subject to availability restrictions apply. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details.
Drew
Welcome to this episode of emergency intercom.
Inya
NYA's always got to get the last clap.
Drew
I know.
Inya
Always got to get the last.
Drew
And I have to intro the podcast because if I don't intro the podcast, who's gonna?
Inya
Me. Hello? I'm right here.
Drew
No, I just, like, do it right. I do it with a cadence that, like, gets the people's ears perked up and ready for an hour of absolute.
Inya
Yeah. Well, we'll start it off very quickly with the. So we all know 2012 Mayan calendar ending. How scary boots. That was. Like, I was in, I think, like, sixth grade. No, I was probably in, like, first grade in 2012. I was really young in 2000.
Drew
Oh, yeah, because you're 16 right now, so. Yeah, you were, because I was gonna say I was in, like, sixth, seventh grade, so you were definitely weird.
Inya
Oh, you weren't, like, born to hang out with me.
Drew
Well, I was hanging out with your mom because I banged her to have you.
Inya
Oh. Oh. So your mother. You really are my mother. I'm mother, too, but I am a firm believer. We all know how scary that was. Like, I was literally convinced that, like, a tsunami was gonna eat me up in Granbury, Texas, which is landlocked like, 300 miles into the land. But I was convinced I was gonna die. How do we know we didn't die? How do we know everyone in the world didn't die in 2012 and we are just living in hell right now?
Drew
I'd be so pissed because I would at least hope that there would be an immediate change. Like, there would be an immediate flip and, like, the world is crazy. But if we actually did die and then life just kind of kept pushing and then got like. Like, global warming is just, like, progressively getting worse. I'm like, that's the hell we're living in.
Inya
They tricked us. They literally tricked us with 2016.
Drew
Yeah.
Inya
They were like, this is the last good year. We're showing you what life could be like. But instead you get Donald Trump, Chomp Chomp, Please save me.
Drew
Honestly, like, I'm grateful for Chomp in a lot of ways. A lot of ways being how many awesome jokes like that there are. Like, think about, like, if we couldn't say Donald Chomp, like, what would be there?
Inya
What would we be filling the air with is please, please, Trump, save me.
Drew
Please, Trump, save me. Like, praying for breaking the glass because he literally wouldn't open the door. Like, what did he think was gonna happen?
Inya
He thought Trump was literally gonna say.
Drew
That walkies were gonna go off and it was gonna be like, donald Trump on the walkie talkie and be like, let him go, Let him go.
Inya
He's one of my members.
Drew
Also, I feel like I need to clarify. I'm not actually grateful for Donald Trump.
Inya
You know, I thought you actually were. So that's what. Thank you for the clarification.
Drew
I felt like. I know, I know. Like, a lot of our, like, beliefs align with each other, me and Chomp. So I was like, oh, I hope nobody actually believes.
Inya
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, the one thing that Chomp did eat with, the one thing he did, one good thing. He said one good thing his entire life.
Drew
I think I know what you're going to say.
Inya
And it was fake news. He ate with fake news. He really did.
Drew
I mean, that just, like, circles back to our conversation about how, like, conservatives and like, all those, like, right wing people, they are really good with the catch words, but they're so good with those little catchphrases and words because that's how they ended up there in the first place.
Inya
They got captured, they got tricked by.
Drew
By lingo. Like, the lingo is what brought them in.
Inya
So then they get like, demon crat. Hello.
Drew
Demon cry is really fucking good. Like, I stand.
Inya
Hello?
Drew
Are you okay? I'm right here.
Inya
I'm right here. What's the other one that you and Orion really like?
Drew
Please send it to me, Rachel. Jesus was seen where? Rachel. Oh, my God. Show me to me. Please send it to me, Rachel. It was literally seen in Ohio. Please send it to me. Oh, now, please. Oh, my God. This is. Which one? Send it to me, baby. Which one is it on TikTok.
Inya
Okay, Mommy.
Drew
I'm kidding. Rachel, don't do that. Rachel, please.
Inya
Do you know the.
Drew
You know the Instagram or Tick tock.
Inya
The background behind that is that like. It was when everyone was like, saying, like, their parents favorite musician or celebrity died and she couldn't say a celebrity because her parents didn't or her mom didn't give a about a celebrity so she just said Jesus Christ appeared in a Walmart parking lot in Ohio.
Drew
Like, what is that look like? That actually had me and Orion thinking, because we were like, dude, if you saw Jesus, would he be humongous or would he just be, like, our size? Like, I feel normal.
Inya
I always imagine him, like, being our size.
Drew
Yeah, just like a normal dude, like, walking around. And then, like, I feel like there's so many people who just, like, kind of serve Jesus that if I saw Jesus, I wouldn't know me. I mean, I gave Jesus the opposite of Jesus for sinning and going to hell. Then. Yeah, I guess. You.
Inya
You know what? A lot of people, like, you know who a lot of people say I look like Beyonce. Like, a lot of people say. A lot of people say me and Beyonce are like twins.
Drew
But is it that video of a girl saying that?
Inya
It's. I think her name is New York, but she's like, Beyonce.
Drew
Oh, yeah. Because I. That I. Dude, I'm just having too many, like, references of videos pop in my head. So we need to move on because my brain is, like, spinning because I was thinking of, like, this is so humiliating. Like, I was like, that sounds like something Bambi would have said, but keep going.
Inya
You're weird.
Drew
Okay. I'm not, though, so.
Inya
So I know in, like, the last. Oh, I want to address this real quick. This thing. A lot of bitches have been saying, like, Drew's always on that damn phone. Like, get off that damn phone. Like, no, you don't realize it's open in the notes app, and it's how this podcast runs is me looking at this fucking phone. So suck my nuts from the back. I'm dead fucking serious. Like, I'm not even playing serious, but what the.
Drew
Was I going, I need to eat him from the back, sloppy style.
Inya
Ew. Someone's dad saw the podcast and said, like, I like her, but, like, his energy is really scary.
Drew
Like, he didn't like the way you touch your phone, which I do agree with. Drew does touch his phone. Like, he shouldn't be touching it. Like, it's really weird.
Inya
Exactly. We shouldn't. These. These are the real demons. Let's talk about it.
Drew
It's black mirror. That's your black mirror. Ever thought about that?
Inya
Looking at it? When it closes, you're looking back at yourself. I showed. I told someone that when we were camping, and they were like, whoa. I literally never thought about that interacting.
Drew
With people who, like, are actually normal and living their life as we, like, humans were intended to. And when you Say things that have been regurgitated on the Internet 18 times. You sound like a genius.
Inya
Exactly.
Drew
Like, they just can't believe it.
Inya
I literally sounded. I was, like, so. Pseudo intellectual.
Drew
So you. To him, you were Alan Watts in that moment. He was like, wow.
Inya
Broke his.
Drew
Oh, my God. Well, on your period is like, if you tried to poop girls, peanut butter and chamoy. That's what I.
Inya
That's the nastiest. You've literally, I think, ever said ever. And, like, I'm almost like, we should cut that.
Drew
Like, I was just.
Inya
Well, it's only. It's only nasty because one, you're lying because girls don't poop. Hello. And two, girls don't have periods.
Drew
Well, no, girls, like, have periods.
Inya
Like, so girls don't poop. That's. You're inferring that girls don't poop when you just.
Drew
No, I'm saying, like, both are just, like, true statements.
Inya
Okay, wait. You should be a comedian because you're, like, hilarious.
Drew
You. Oh, my God, you would do so good if you, like, actually tried out. That.
Inya
Wow. But, okay, so in the past couple episodes, I've been thinking about things that are, like, barbaric that we do now. Um, and one of them I thought about is, so my mom and my sister and a lot of girls in my life all do this, but they go to a lash technician and get false eyelashes installed into their eyes. And that's crazy. Like, that's really, really, really crazy. And I'm like, yeah, it's swaggy right now. I get it. Like, full eyelashes, cunt. Like, you're giving everything you wanted to give, but, like, it's the fantasy. But, like, really think about that, and it's like hot gluing, like, hairs to your hairs. Like, I don't know. It's really crazy.
Drew
It's kind of like hair extensions, though. But, like, for your eyes. I guess it is insane because also, like, how risky it is. Like, we shouldn't be putting glue near our eyes. Oh, did you have to, like, make that much noise with it?
Inya
I'm a Stanley girl now. I'm a Stanley cup.
Drew
Did you get that? Because I came home and that was just in the house. And we've only been apart from each other for, like, 12 hours.
Inya
On the way to Orion's, I stopped at Dick's Sporting Goods. Well, I stopped there because the title. Stop there because Dicks, I was like, oh. Like, oh, okay. Like, let's go get late. Yeah.
Drew
Because Grindr was down yesterday, so you were really yeah.
Inya
My pastor's name is Dick, but I went to Dick's because I was charging my car because I almost. I literally. I don't have a Tesla. I don't have that. I never did that.
Drew
No. Yeah, because you hate Elon Musk.
Inya
Yeah, Elon Musk. Hello. Would never support that, man. But I had to stop at this parking lot to go to Dick's Sporting Goods because I haven't been in so long, and that store is, like, literally one of my favorite places on earth, like, as a kid growing up, because, like, I was in and out of sports. Like, I loved sports.
Drew
Yeah.
Inya
Like, I literally played so many sports growing up. But I wanted to, like, see what it felt like in there because I was, like, having to pass the time. And then I saw, like, a whole shelf of these, and I was like, girl, hydro flask. Literally. Hydro flask.
Drew
Not for me. Not for me. If you want to ever send me something, please do. Please. I tried so hard to get Hydro Flask PR in, like, 2019.
Inya
Same. I've had this. I've been by your side for years. Years. And I haven't gotten my flowers at all. So I'm a Stanley cup girl until further notice. And this fits in the cup holder in my car.
Drew
But hydro did start competing with that, and now they make cups.
Inya
I saw it, and I. I was really hoping they came out with, like, a. Came out, came down. Hold on. I was really hoping they came out of the closet, but I was hoping they would come out with one that was, like, brushed aluminum.
Drew
Like, oh, my God.
Inya
I want. I love metal.
Drew
Like, custom hydro flasks. This isn't, like, an. For these brands, so we're just, like, going on a tangent about it. I think the shape of that cup is really disgusting. I hate it. It's.
Inya
It really grows on you.
Drew
Me, when you've had it for six hours, you're like, you'll. That's what I thought when I first got it.
Inya
Well, I have one.
Drew
Like, can you hold it from down there? Because I just want to see what it looks like.
Inya
I have to hold my mic up, actually. We're gonna.
Drew
Oh, this is the heaviest thing ever.
Inya
Yeah, it's big. It's got more water in it. I have to fix my mic because I have to, like, hold it up, and it's pissing me off, so.
Drew
Oh, my God. Well, ever since I got my texting and driving ticket, yes, I text and drive. Hello. I don't anymore because I'm actually scared, but I actually. I will say I think I am. Of all the people we know, I might be the best at my phone usage to driving. Yeah, like, I do really do my best and if I have to apply like, I will like use a voice to like, I, I said so many voice memos because usually I'll be in.
Inya
The car and I'm like, yeah, you are really good about that. But me, I'm just going through tick tock and driving like it's crazy. I'm watching a YouTube video. Like I hacked my phone. Like it's crazy. Yeah, no, no, no, I'm, I'm just kidding. I literally don't do that. But I did do something really concerning today where like I parked my car and I got out and I had like a duffel bag and I had this big ass stupid water bottle that's like so you still charge it. Use your phone. And I had like a pair of shoes in one hand and like I just had a bunch of in my hands and in my wallet in my other hand and my phone on top of it and I was like carrying all this and like scrolling and watching tick tock with all this in my hand and I was like, that is insane. I was like, oh my God. Like this is like a, this is a problem. And like I need to like literally go to rehab for my phone. And I'm not even kidding because I went to the woods, wasn't able to use it for four days and I came back and I've like quadrupled my screen time. Like it's.
Drew
Oh my God. I mean, I've been pretty bummed this past week. So my screen time has been so bad. Like my tick tock screen time got so bad that I have started to be fed tick tocks I've already liked.
Inya
And interacted with and that's when you.
Drew
Know it's really bad. You know when you're reading this app is like starting to repeat on you because it's like, I literally don't know.
Inya
What else you're beating me out.
Drew
Yeah, I'm like, I'm beating the time it takes for people to make more content.
Inya
You know when it gets really bad is when you get past that point and then they start recommending videos with zero likes.
Drew
It's either zero or like a like 8 million. Like so many. I almost want to see right now. Like I haven't been on it as much like the past two days. Hello. And I want to see if it's going to do that. Like if it's like top like look three like, yeah, 39.
Inya
Exactly.
Drew
And then it's like a few normal ones that I would maybe interact with, but then it's like gotten into a lot of, like, the cap cut shit where it's just.
Inya
Yeah, templates.
Drew
Like weird templates. And then it's like, it's like a high school drama. Like, when he doesn't text you back, like, we are like 8 million. Liked. Tick tocks.
Inya
And then like a hundred ads, they're like, oh, this is like an ad watcher. Like, they're gonna just make us meet our quota. And I'm fed, like, four ads in a row.
Drew
Yeah, like four in a row.
Inya
And it's like crazy. Four motherfuckers. For the bitches that were going to clip that and say, four. Oh, he put up three. Like, what the hell? Four.
Drew
Well, because I brought the ticket thing up because I was driving the other day and thinking about how most people like a ticket doesn't stop them from interacting with a habit like that. Like, it's. We just live in a day and age where grabbing your phone is such a. Within a split, split second if you're free. So if you're at a red light, you're in traffic, you're going to grab your phone. Because that's how I got caught. I was like, on the highway in standstill traffic, and I was fully on my phone. I think I already told the story. I looked up at him, I was like, oh, my God, this is embarrassing. Whatever. But a way to curb that would have to be when the cop comes up to you, you legally have to screen record what you were looking at and bring it to court. Like, imagine having to go to court. Like, so I was on Google and I fucking hate Instagram page because I needed to see their story, what they were up to. Or like, so I was texting about like, this, this and that. Like, I like having to show, like, what exactly you were watching.
Inya
See, I've literally always thought about that, like, how it would be if, like, I was on my phone, but I was literally looking at, like, Google Maps or some. And they're like, I saw you on your phone. And I was like, no, I swear. Like, I was on Google Maps. Like, that's always. If I ever do get caught, I'm just gonna switch over to Google Maps really quick.
Drew
See, my is connected to CarPlay and I literally am like, with it in my hand, but the directions are right there. And I'm like, oh, I just need.
Inya
Like, yeah, yeah, don't. Don't text and drive it's so easy not to do that. Don't use your phone and drive. It's so easy not to. We are not good influences. Don't do as we do. Do as I say.
Drew
I'm actually pretty good about it, though. But I was so shocked when I got stopped for that. I was like, are you freaking serious, bro? And then I already said this, so I'm just gonna repeat myself. When he went back to his car to write the ticket, like, I wasn't touching my phone as if I was on punishment. I was like, I already got caught using it. Like, I might as well just get on and keep watching IG stories.
Inya
You had pride, and you did do it in his face.
Drew
Yeah. Also, I feel like I have. Never mind. I don't have to do anything.
Inya
Well, this is just a car episode because we have a few things that happened. So we went to Ms. Devon Lee Carlson's birthday. Yes. We were invited to, like, major socialite events. Like, every party you've ever heard of in LA we go to because we are the it girls. Like, the people. Your favorite favorite is me and. Yeah, me and Army. Like, we're your favorites favorites. Like sh. Sasha, Kobe. Your favorite drag queen's favorite drag queen is Sasha, Kobe. Your favorite person's favorite person is me and you.
Drew
So true. Because we, like, it's almost, like, bad. We always have to say no to social.
Inya
I know. Because we're so, so booked, and we're, like, doing it all the time, and we're not laying in phone in bed. On our phone on the bed. Yeah. But on the way home, Kai wanted us to drive him, and I was sober that night, so I was driving, and I was driving India's car, and Kai, like, came up to me and was like, hey, like, can you take me home? Like, I don't want to have to Uber this way. And I was like, sure. Like, what is like six. Six minutes away or something? It was, like 17 minutes out of the way.
Drew
I know. It was like when you said that. Also, I was just chewing on my finger so crazy in the mic, and I know I sounded crazy, but when you were like, yeah, no, it's on the way. I looked at the map and my house, like, that is not on the way.
Inya
I know.
Drew
Literally, like, out of the way. But I wasn't gonna fight it because I didn't mind. Also, I was, like, having fun being in the car, listening to music.
Inya
Like, it was a key. It was a literal key blast. Well, we're pulling out, and I literally crash in his car within three seconds. Like, I drive it up on the curb and, like.
Drew
And it's like, crushed the underside of my bumper.
Inya
Everyone was, like, dying, laughing. And I was like, guys, it's literally not funny. Like, this isn't funny.
Drew
He was like, oh, of course this would happen to me. This is not funny.
Inya
And I jumped out and I, like, went and looked at it and everything was, like, pretty much normal. And I was like, oh, like, we're good. Like, let's. Let's keep driving. And we get on the freeway and I get a notification on in his car. And it's like, the tire pressure. And I'm like, oh, I just click okay and ignore it because, like, that always pops up. And then it pops up again and I click okay again, and I'm ignoring it. And then I'm like, okay, the third time is. Popped up three times now. Like, I need to look at this. And it's like one tire, then not the tire that I hit, but the tire on the opposite side is like 14% or 14 psi. 13 psi, 10 psi. And I'm like, guys, we have a fucking flat. And everyone's like, no, we don't. Shut up. And I'm like, we have a fudgeing flat. And we were on the freeway and we almost fudgeing died, y' all.
Drew
Like, it's everybody after. I've been like, everybody who we saw the next day was like, yeah, what'd you get up to? And he was like, well, we almost died. But other than that, like, things have been good. But it was just really scary. Like, you're so annoying. You say it to everybody. And then they always look at me because obviously we were together. And I'm just like. Just like, let it.
Inya
Literally. He's.
Drew
Let him do it, I guess.
Inya
But yeah, no, we literally almost flipped and died, like, 13 times. And it's all Kai's fault, basically.
Drew
It was a culmination. I bet Kai put something in there because we refused to hang out with him. And he's like, oh, I'm going to make them hang out with me. And he knew that he'd get us on the side of the road for, like, 25 minutes.
Inya
Yeah.
Drew
So when the tire went flat, I was. I saw somebody being, like, in any. Stop mentioning being drunk or high on the episodes, because I think every story I'm like, I was drunk, but. But this is just for context. I was drunk and I know how to change a tire. But I was like, bitch, I don't want to do that right now. Like, no, I didn't get.
Inya
Who the fuck said that?
Drew
Yeah, I know.
Inya
Fucking nerd. Loser. Loser. Virgin loser. But.
Drew
I was inebriated and I didn't want to change a tire in that moment. So in my head, I'm like, I'm just going to call aaa. I don't even want. My trunk is full of shit. Getting the spare out, it's too much. I didn't want to do it, but. But then something clicked in me because I remembered how much fun I have changing tires. I literally get a kick out of it. Like, it is so fun. I've changed, like, four tires in the past two years. And they always pop around me because God wants to give me a fun game to play. If that kind of stuff was happening to me all the time. Actually, no, I don't want to wish. Never mind. I was going to say that would be fun.
Inya
But, like, yeah, my tire is going to explode on the freeway and I'm going to roll 13 times and God's going to be like, fix that bitch.
Drew
And I will. I'll fucking, like.
Inya
Like hammer it back together.
Drew
In cartoons when it's, like, really fast going around it' yeah.
Inya
Yeah.
Drew
But basically, I was the saving queen of the night because I fixed the tire all by myself and.
Inya
Insert video now.
Drew
Girl putting the tire on.
Inya
Yeah.
Drew
How dare you guys.
Inya
We try to help, but she wouldn't let us.
Drew
The femininity of man. This is what the Barbie movie does to people. Oh, gosh. And Josie and Kai. Drew told them while we had the tire up, and we were, like, putting the spare on and screwing the bolts in. Drew kept saying to Kai and Josie, like, be careful putting the spare in the trunk because don't push it off of the. What is it called? Like, a crank.
Inya
Yeah.
Drew
He was like, don't. Don't push it off of there. Don't push it off of there. They didn't listen, and they pushed the tire into the trunk too hard, and the car fell right onto the spare. And this. The screw thing knocked into my mouth and I got a busted lip because of Kai and Josiah.
Inya
Yeah.
Drew
I never let them leave that down because they literally fucking hit me. Which is so weird because I'm their friend and I, like, I do care for them and I'm always looking out for them. But just in a split second for joy or, like, as a joke, they decided they wanted to bust my lip.
Inya
Yeah. They really weird. Literally made in your fucking bleed and they almost ripped my fingers off. Like, I was so scared. I was literally so Scared. But then the next day, we go to the beach. We have a key at the beach for Zamara's birthday. And then we're driving home. Guys, I've never seen this happen before, but me and Inya witnessed Roadhead happen. Oh, my God.
Drew
Dude, it was so insane.
Inya
It was so lit, too.
Drew
It was, like, so hard. I was like, what else happened in the car?
Inya
Yeah, it was so.
Drew
It was so awesome.
Inya
So lit. Because, like, we see the car in front of us, like, swerve out of the way, and then he's like, what the fuck is that? And we drive.
Drew
It was, like, the middle of the day on a Sunday. So my head. I'm like, there's no way you're drunk. Something's happening in there.
Inya
And then, like, India, like, says she sees a girl's hair, like, pop up. Really? Yeah.
Drew
Because, like, when he swerved, I saw through the thing, like, his arm go like this. And her head was lifting up, so.
Inya
I was like, hmm way. And so I'm like, in your. Speed up. I'm like, speed up. Please speed around. So we, like, jerk out of our lane and start jerking off. And, like, we pull up next to the car and. And we look over, and she was.
Drew
Nowhere to be seen.
Inya
She was nowhere to be seen. And he's, like, looking over. He has, like, the biggest smile on his face. He's, like, cheeky. He's, like, happy about it, and he knows we know.
Drew
And then, like, he just watched me, literally, like a pervert.
Inya
Yeah. Yeah, he knows we know. And so he's laughing. We're laughing. And then we slow down a little bit, and then we speed back up. Because I'm like, wait, hold on. No, there's no way. And then she's now back in the.
Drew
Seat and they're both, like, cracking.
Inya
They're looking at us, like, cracking the up. And then we're just like. And, like, we celebrate with them cheering back.
Drew
And in my head, I'm like, damn, y' all are so cool. Because it was weird for us to, like. I mean, they're doing.
Inya
No, I was gonna say they're literally getting head in public.
Drew
Like, we were just into that.
Inya
Yeah, we were just seeing if they were, like, drinking that just in case.
Drew
We had to call to make sure they weren't drinking off the floor.
Inya
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Drew
Because it's really unsafe.
Inya
Or she passed out. Like, what if she fell in love?
Drew
I was just, like, looking off her. Also, on the way to the beach, we had another car interaction. I really had to poop and somebody just so happened to have a thing that said, honk if you need to poop. And we honked, and they were. I've never seen someone happier about someone else needing to. But it was really cute.
Inya
Yeah, they. We celebrated together, guys. The roads together. So fun.
Drew
Yeah. Cars bring us together. Everybody's like, stop car. Stop car. Stop cars. Like, we live in, like, a car dominated population, but look at what it does for us.
Inya
Yeah, we get roadhead stories and poop stories.
Drew
Right? Well, and feminist anthems.
Inya
No.
Drew
Oh, whoa.
Inya
Well, last episode, two episodes ago, I mentioned that I'm afraid of getting blood clots. Now I have a new thing, I'm afraid.
Drew
Oh, I thought you were gonna, like, lie and say you had a blood clot.
Inya
Yeah, I almost died, guys. No, I literally did almost die, though. So my new fear is rabies. Like, I'm convinced that I'm gonna get rabies, y' all.
Drew
Wait, what animals carry rabies? Like, is it mammals?
Inya
Most of them. Bats carry what they really do, though.
Drew
Like, what does rabies really do to a human?
Inya
Girl, it makes you literally homophobic or hydrophobic.
Drew
Oh, I have rabies, I think. Wait, it makes you hydrophobic?
Inya
Literally. It's so scary.
Drew
And you already are. You stinky. You don't like to shower. You got rabies. And that's Dr. Pepper Phobia. Actually, also to do with, like, drinking water.
Inya
Yes, dude.
Drew
Which I know a lot of y' all who have that because you refuse to stop squirting those little liquid iOS and like, strawberry packets into your water. I saw this girl take this huge gallon, and she put, like, red for you. She put, like, a bunch of red 40 in it. Like, strawberry Celsius. Like, all this.
Inya
I can't talk my on this. Like, I think it. I want, like.
Drew
Like, you're not drinking water.
Inya
I want strawberry cake flavored. I'm sorry. Like, that sounds good to me.
Drew
That is disgusting.
Inya
So the thing with rabies is so you can, like, be sleeping in a tent at night, or you can be chilling in your bed with your window open while you're sleeping and a bat flies into your room.
Drew
Okay? So the probability is already incredibly.
Inya
Listen, listen, listen.
Drew
In the beginning of, like, a Halloween movie from Disney, that's what you have the story.
Inya
They bite you in your sleep. You don't even feel it because their bites are so small. You wake up, you look at your arm, you're like, oh, fudge, a spider bit me. Three days later. You're like, well, I'm a little sick. It's Already too fucking late. The second you show signs for rabies. No, and that's even. What's even crazier is, like, the videos of people with hydrophobia from rabies is fudgeing so scary because, like, you put a water in their face and they're like.
Drew
Like, literally give some bitches rabies, because that would be too fun.
Inya
No, they're literally, like, party going up.
Drew
To somebody who's literally terrified of liquid.
Inya
And then you just die slowly.
Drew
It's really mean.
Inya
And then you literally die slowly, and there's no cure for it.
Drew
You can't get, like, liquids pumped into you.
Inya
No, you don't. You don't die of, like, dehydration. You just die from fucking rabies.
Drew
Why would they have a cure? How many people are getting rabies a year?
Inya
So I guess it's really not that many. But I'm still fudgeing scared because when I'm camping, there's bats out there, and they'd be swooping bats. Fucking try to bite me.
Drew
I love. But you said try to bite me.
Inya
They literally try to bite me every time I'm out there. I have, like, people that can vouch for me every time. I'm literally the victim of a bat attack. Like, it's literally so scary.
Drew
And I'm talking about it made me so happy.
Inya
And I ain't talking Gotham, and I'm not talking.
Drew
Okay, seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you? Well, in Honduras, when I was, like, seven, one time I went to go take my little bucket bath.
Inya
You're literally lying.
Drew
One time I went to go take my bucket shower bath, and my grandma had just heated me up some water on the stove. I had, like, a nice little big, warm bucket. So I went into the bathroom with my bucket, about to shower, and I just hear, like. And I'm like, like, freaking out. And I look up, and there was a bat stuck in the bathroom with me. And I freaked the fuck out and ran out, and my grandma had to go in with a broom and trying to get him out, but, like, my grandma, like, accidentally closed the door behind us. So then we were just in there with a broom, a bat, and, like, me and ran my bucket of water. And I didn't get rabies, but I actually love bats. They're so cute. Oh, my God. That would have sounded like it would.
Inya
Have not been okay. So, you know, like, I'm afraid of getting rabies. Like, I'm convinced I'm gonna get rabies.
Drew
But, you know, the bat is gonna come through your Window at night in the middle of Los Angeles.
Inya
Yeah.
Drew
Yeah, I guess I did see about the other night.
Inya
It's a thing. But just, like, I'm convinced I'm gonna get rabies. I'm convinced I'm gonna win the lottery. Like, it's on the same level of, like, delusion. That's. Yeah, exactly. But we were talking yesterday, and I was like. I was, like, doing, like, I had bought a lottery ticket because it was, like, $2 billion or something. I was like, I literally can't buy. Not buy a lottery ticket. And then I was like, oh, my God, I forgot I had this. And then I checked the app, and I was like, oh, my God, someone won. Like, oh, my God. I literally won. I just know. I was like, I just know I won. So I made India record. I didn't win, but I thought about it, and I was like, if I won, like, $2 million on the lottery, like, I would be so pissed. Like, I would.
Drew
Like, so much of it gets taken for taxes.
Inya
Yeah.
Drew
Like, if you win 2 million versus, like, 2 billion, like, I would. I actually. No, it would make me happy, but I'd be like, damn, I could have made 2 billion.
Inya
I know. Literally, that's what I'm saying. Like, if I won just 2 million, I'd be like, bro. Like, what am I supposed to do with that? Like, buy a Lamborghini Iris? Like, I can only buy one, not 300. Like.
Drew
Like, if you're gon to be gluttonous and win the lottery, you needed to be, like, to the full extreme, not, like, yeah, I guess. Oh, my God. Living in la. Like, you can't even get, like, a really nice house.
Inya
I know. You can't even get, like, a house in la. It's terrifying. Housing markets collapsing. Soon. Like, I promise. Just wait, guys. Wait it out. We'll be good.
Drew
Well, this is what I wanted to show you. That made me laugh.
Inya
Oh, yeah.
Drew
You know, it's, like, not that funny, but it still is me laugh, because you have to look at the time and everything. Yes, the. I do. Yes, I do.
Inya
Literally, I think. Period.
Drew
It's like, I, like, was really feeling emotionally charged in the middle of the night the other night, and I was like, I need to write this out. And then I went to go start, and I was like. My brain was like. And then I just left it alone. And I thought I would circle back, but I instead circle jerked with Drew's mom, and then we fell asleep. So imagine being so brave. Your first date is at the beach. You Are a killer. You are the killer.
Inya
See, whoever I'm dating will not see my body for three years.
Drew
Yeah, I mean, I think that's correct.
Inya
Yeah.
Drew
Because, I mean, but I'm speaking more, like, as a victim who has seen your body.
Inya
I know. It's really. It's really traumatic, y' all. Like, it really is, like, a scary. It's scary as.
Drew
It's like when Neptune in SpongeBob shows his head. That's what it felt like for me.
Inya
Oh, yeah. It's like Pharrell in the big hat.
Drew
Yes, Neptune.
Inya
Neptunes. Pharrell, big hat.
Ryan Seacrest
SpongeBob.
Inya
Drew. Scary body. Like, there's just, like, everything I say. There's, like, levels and layers to it, and y' all just, like, aren't intellectual.
Drew
Yeah, yeah.
Inya
To, like, fully understand the grasp of what I'm saying. Okay, so this is another thing. I think something bad's gonna happen again. Like, I really do think something big is coming because it's been, like, almost a year since I've predicted that, like, something big was coming. Yeah. Not an earthquake. I'm thinking something, like, on the microcosmic level of, like, our house, like, I'm thinking, like, someone is gonna invade us or someone's gonna try to even, like.
Drew
Want to think that. I mean, I guess I did have the feeling two days or yesterday that I genuinely am convinced right now that I'm gonna die soon.
Inya
Yeah. And I made it in your record. Actually, I. We both did that. We both recorded a will. Yeah.
Drew
So we have our wheel. But I just, like, sometimes I get into these points where I'm like, oh, I need to feel everything I'm supposed to feel right now, because one, like, it's very soon. I will not have this. And then I was listening to a song yesterday before I fell asleep, I was like, this is genuinely what I think dying feels like. I was listening to the song. It's a Robin Gutry song that's really good. But I'm like, this is definitely what it feels like to me.
Inya
The song. I want to listen to it.
Drew
I can't name it because I was listening to the whole cd, so I would have to go, like, listen. True. Because I don't know the track, but.
Inya
Gatekeeper.
Drew
Okay.
Inya
Gatekeeper.
Drew
Gatekeeper. Yeah, I do keep them. I have a lot around me. It's, like, weird. Honestly, I was gonna say. Oh. Opening a pad in a public restroom is the equivalent to opening a bag of candy. When the movie starts at the movie theater, it's just, like, that same pressure you feel where you're like, am I. Like, how am I gonna do this? Am I gonna be brave and just, like, get it over with and rip it open? Or am I gonna, like, slowly? Like, dude, like, those people translate. Like, the girls in the movie theater who just rip that open are the same ones in the bathroom who are just like.
Inya
And that's me. Like, when I'm opening my pad in the bathroom, I'm like, I don't give a. About your feelings. Like, I'm gonna open this and I'm gonna own it.
Drew
You should be embarrassed, though, because you're using it like a pseudo diaper because you shit out your butt.
Inya
I have a soggy.
Drew
Your underwear.
Inya
I have a soggy bottom. Okay. Like, a gaping bottom hole up there.
Drew
It is being forced as a young girl to go to a swimming pool in, like, a family setting when, like, when you first started your period and you were only allowed to wear pads. That is the kind of, like, trauma that I don't think I see anybody talking about. Like, being forced to wear. Being forced to wear a pad in a pool, like, that is, like, so up.
Inya
Like, is that a thing?
Drew
That's a. I think that's a universal thing. Is, like, most girls who start their periods start using pads. You're always around family events and, like, situations where you're going to get in the pool. You don't want to be the weirdo who's not in the pool. So you're. Oh, my God.
Inya
I didn't know we were talking about that. Oh, nasty. All of y' all are nasty.
Drew
Oh, my God. Like, what's wrong with you? Where's the love. What did the Barbie move? Oh, you haven't seen it?
Inya
Where's the tits? They don't talk about periods in Barbie. Actually. Maybe I should go see it so.
Drew
You can learn about period.
Inya
No. So I cannot have to learn about periods.
Drew
They don't talk about it. They do. If you haven't seen it, like, I don't know, just ignore me. But they do. I don't know why I'm telling you that. You haven't seen that movie. I shouldn't do that. No, I don't want to say it.
Inya
Right, right, right. Well, the other day, I was looking in the mirror. The other day I was looking in the mirror. What?
Drew
Like, seriously, what's wrong with you?
Inya
No, no, I was just looking at myself, and I was, like, playing a game. I was playing a game. Seeing how long I could stare at myself in the eyes for before I like, completely, like, experienced ego Death. I really don't suggest anyone does that. But, like, if you really want to have, like, a for real, like, a psychedelic experience, like, look at yourself in the mirror for longer than three minutes.
Drew
Like, actually be examined in a really, really serious way. Like, to think I was probably just on the couch playing Fortnite, and, like, 10ft away. That's what you're doing in the bathroom?
Inya
Like, well, no, listen.
Drew
Seriously need help?
Inya
Listen, I was staring at myself. I was like. It was like a game. I was like, how long can I do this for? And then I got lost in it, and then I, like, snapped out of it. And I saw myself for the first time. Like, for really what I was, am. And what I. Look.
Drew
This is literally me when I get addicted to the grind and I gotta step back.
Inya
Yeah, exactly. Exactly. I get lost in the sauce. But I saw myself for who I really am and what I really look like. I know who you are, and I'm convinced.
Drew
See you for who you are.
Inya
We switched timelines in the, like. Like, in the last, like, two months.
Drew
So you have this thing when. When you're experiencing emotional events, you just convince yourself you switched time so that you can leave the.
Inya
I didn't take that as a note, and I didn't write that down. And I was just trying to be funny. I didn't actually think that.
Drew
This is, like. Every time I talk about any relationships, like, romantic relationship problems, I'm in with Drew. He always loops it back to the economy. Like, he. Within 12 hours of me, like, just talking through something with him was like, dude, it's literally like the economy. Like, you. You gotta, like. Like, get your place in, and, like, you either, like, thug it out and you end up good on the other side, or you pull out and, like, you never know what happens. Like. Or, like, you said something like that.
Inya
And then you said, but did I eat? Did I. Look, look, look. You can apply it both ways. Like, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen. When you invest, invest in the stock market, if it dips down a little bit and you pull out, you actually lost money. But if you stay in and it goes back up, you didn't lose money and you gained a profit. So basically, stay in your own lane. And it's like that. On the goddamn highway when we're in traffic, Stay in your goddamn lane. Yeah.
Drew
Seriously wrong with you. I guess. Yeah. Like, it makes sense, but just to be in a position where I'm, like, crying and I'm like, yeah. And, you know, like, I don't know. Like, this is like, whatever. And you're just like, dude, this is exactly.
Inya
Like, this is what I've been telling you. Lizzie McGuire.
Drew
Lizzie McGuire.
Inya
Lizzie McGuire. No, but I literally, like, twice.
Drew
But the second time, he did catch himself. He was like, okay, I need to stop doing that.
Inya
I was like, this is the second time I've related your emotions to the economy. And it's proving your point that I am, like, not a robot or I am a robot. But, yeah, that's what you get for coming to me, of all people with emotional problems, because I am emotionless.
Drew
Also, I'm sorry I started laughing because my top three notes are all about my coochie. But, like, what the fudge is that machine?
Inya
I eat so much cheese and pickles, my P word probably tastes like electric shock from a defibrill. I mean, you're right. Like, a defibrillator is like the. And I could. It tastes like battery. I feel like those taste like. I feel like your vagina tastes like a 9 volt battery.
Drew
Yeah, like, I can see that. Like, you know when you used to lick the old Android.
Inya
That's what I'm saying.
Drew
Like, that's what I'm assuming, you know.
Inya
Oh, you know the new Nintendo Switch cartridges? Oh, that's what bronze your Bronson tastes like.
Drew
No, because it's like alcohols. Oh. And then the last thing I said about periods and coochie is if someone told me doing meth once a month stopped my period, I'd try it. Also, I'm just in a mental state where I think I'd just try it in general.
Inya
Yeah, that would be lit. We should, like, start on, like, doing.
Drew
Meth once and then it's like, once a month just, like, stops your period pain.
Inya
I mean, it's like.
Drew
It stops a lot of things.
Inya
It's a literal win win situation because you get high from meth and you also don't have a period.
Drew
Yeah.
Inya
So. Yeah, but don't do that.
Drew
Yeah, don't try that.
Inya
Don't even test that out. But yeah, I feel like lately I'm giving, like, fishy cunt. Okay, okay, wait. Okay, I got. Okay, so I gotta say, a lot of the famous people, y' all know, aren't that cool. I don't know. I. Oh, it was a joke and I. The cadence is all wrong. It was supposed to be like, I know all of.
Drew
Yeah, you know, like every famous person. Like, dude, you reading through your notes and trying to understand your tone before saying it out loud was the craziest thing I've ever Heard.
Inya
Oh, this is a good one. I think we've talked about it before, but I literally don't give a. How are people still breaking records, like, while they're running? Like, how are people running faster and faster? How are people getting faster and faster?
Drew
And I know the technology, it's that Celsius, it's that math.
Inya
It's, like, in the technology and the sneakers and, like, whatever the running form. But, like, really think about it. Like, how are we getting faster? It makes no sense. And then that brings me to the next thing. It already is talked about. It's, like, two weeks old now, but the girl that, like, kind of cheated her way into the race and literally recorded the slowest what they say about her, and that was the world's slowest time.
Drew
I wish I remember exactly because it wasn't a popular video that you showed me that, like, had this voiceover, but it was, like, this average and unhealthy woman.
Inya
Yeah. Yeah.
Drew
That's literally how people describe me.
Inya
That's. Yeah, exactly. But she recorded the world's slowest time, like, in a race. What?
Drew
I'm, like, laughing at myself being like, that's me.
Inya
Okay. Shane Dawson.
Drew
Me.
Inya
Okay. That's a. Literally me.
Drew
I'd rather be at home with a pizza.
Inya
What the heck? The ghost. The Gucci ghost. Full tracksuit Gucci ghost.
Drew
I'm farting.
Inya
Welcome to Drew Psyop Corner. I've noticed enough, and I'm going to stop paying attention now.
Drew
That's actually how I feel. Like, I was sitting and talking to Elisa and her homie about, like, law school and stuff. And I was saying that was like. Like, damn, bro, I don't think I've ever felt this stupid in my life. Like, I literally couldn't tell you the first thing you do at law school, but I don't know a single thing. You're supposed to learn the laws. Like, that's literally where my knowledge. Like, also, what? You just have to know every law. Like, what is the test like that for?
Inya
Like, we're literally talking about the same thing about, like, mathematics. Like, looking at people, like, solve the code to nuclear bombs. And it's like a bunch of letters and numbers on the board. I'm like, like, yeah, right. You're lying. You just wanted to fake it. Like, that's not.
Drew
Like, that doesn't mean anything. Also, like, I could put symbols on a board and then just tell you what I think they mean and it's gonna make sense. Like, so I just don't believe you. And it's really weird, but yeah, I just will never learn anything ever again. I don't think.
Inya
Exactly. Exactly.
Drew
Yeah. Which is exactly what our parents did at one point.
Inya
Yeah. Our parents literally cheated the system. ISIS and Fetty Wap were running in 2014. For real.
Drew
That's a crazy mix.
Inya
Think about it though.
Drew
I mean it is true. That's all that was. The talk of the town. Yeah, talk of the town. Remember when the talk of the town was swine flu?
Inya
Yeah. I was convinced I was gonna get it.
Drew
Yeah. Everybody thought they were gonna get swine flu. But I guess I feel like that's equivalent to you thinking you're gonna get rabies. But I did know a kid growing up who actually did get swine.
Inya
Yeah, it was starting to grow around in my school. Like three kids got it, but they caught it before it spread. But yeah, I think I'm responsible for the demise of isis. Like I think I single handedly.
Drew
I actually do believe you. Somebody from their team definitely saw you.
Inya
Yeah, because I was posting like IG stories back in like 2016 of me saying like ISIS, like literally, please stop. And it literally worked.
Drew
Dude, I cannot believe what the Internet has fed us since we were children. Like the fact that we were even a part of that conversation. We were literally babies.
Inya
Yeah.
Drew
That is insane.
Inya
I know.
Drew
And I was thinking, thinking so much about like, I don't know, like our moral ambiguity that's come with the Internet and how it's like such a toss up and like you really have to choose one side. But do you like there's so much great context.
Inya
Yeah. It's really, really up that I was like 13 years old, like going through puberty actively and watching people die on my iPhone. Like that's so crazy that it's like insane. Like every.
Drew
And it's not like we stopped it. We were, we like all are at the age where we were like, okay, there has to be a way to stop this.
Inya
Yeah.
Drew
But like I don't know that there is.
Inya
I cannot believe. And like there's nothing my parents could have done about it. Like I, I was going to watch people die anyway. And like I, like a part of me is like bad exists and we should be able to consume it. But like there has to be like a way to. Like there has to be a line that we just can't cross.
Drew
And I think for children.
Inya
Yeah. Me at 13 years old watching ISIS behead someone is like that line insane. Like I shouldn't know what that is. Is Right?
Drew
Right.
Inya
Oh, this is the Last thing I'll talk about, then we'll get into media. But me and India left the house yesterday for the first time in, like, three weeks. And we went to Sephora. And if you're watching, like, this isn't a dig at you. It's literally like we were dying laughing after this interaction. But. But one of the, like, people who.
Drew
I can't remember her name, she asked her name, and she.
Inya
She was like, oh, can I get a picture? And I was like, yeah, sure. And she was like, oh, but, like, how are we going to do this? Like. And I was like, oh, I have long arms. Like, I'll take it. So I was, like, holding her picture, and I was, like, taking, like, a bunch of photos because I'm like, oh, like, let's.
Drew
It's nice to, like, do enough for you to, like, feel cute and want everyone.
Inya
Yeah, yeah. Someone's going to look good in all of them, but one of them is everyone's going to look good. Like, that's my philosophy. So I was taking pictures, and then, like, I'm like, oh, let's look at them. And she's like, okay, that's enough. And then, like, just leaves. And I'm like, took her phone.
Drew
It was like, it was nice meeting you.
Inya
Yeah. And I'm like, okay. Like, literally tea.
Drew
Like, I love that. Okay, that's enough.
Inya
Yeah. She was like, you took, like, way too many pictures on my phone because.
Drew
You were literally taking a burst on her goddamn iPhone.
Inya
As I should. People should be thanking me.
Drew
Oh, my God. Imagine going to take a selfie with, like, somebody famous and your phone has no more storage. Literally. What do you do? That has to have happened to somebody. That probably happened for the Ellen selfie.
Inya
Guys. Dude, have y' all seen worlds where.
Drew
We didn't get that selfie?
Inya
Dude, have you seen this new photo with Ellen in, like, all of the celebrities at the award show? Like, a selfie.
Drew
It's crazy how neither of us can name a single other celebrity or the award show, because as you were doing it, I was like, yeah, like, waiting for you to say something.
Inya
I know.
Drew
I feel like Jennifer Lawrence had to.
Inya
Have been like, tegan has to be. And the one dude. Not McConaughey and not Pit, but the other.
Drew
I know which one you're talking about.
Inya
He was in Limitless.
Drew
Is he in a Starsborn? Yeah.
Inya
Yeah.
Drew
I. Oh, my God. What is his name? Wait, I really need. I.
Inya
It's like Bradley Coop. Literally, Bradley Cooper.
Drew
Bradley Cooper.
Inya
Wow.
Drew
I saw someone the other day say, Jennifer Lohan. Like, they were, like, grouping up every, like, early celebrity. They're like, Jennifer Lohan. Jennifer Lohan.
Inya
Should we just get really deep for a second? Like, do you have anything you want to talk about?
Drew
Oh, absolutely. No. Because my personal life is crumbling before my eyes, and it was difficult to get on here and be funny.
Inya
Yeah. We weren't gonna have an episode this week, but Inya persevered. She is unironically going through some.
Drew
I'm just, like, literally such a giving and caring person, and if I'm feeling down, I just want to make sure you feel good. But maybe that more has to do with the fact that I don't like myself, so I don't focus on myself because I'm scared of myself. So it has less to do with my caring for you, but more to do with my lack of caring for myself.
Inya
Yeah, that's. That's what I was talking about. Like, let's get deep. Let's talk about some deep. Like, you know what? The mother friend of the group.
Drew
It's crazy hearing someone else from the Philip family say that, because that's what your mother says to me. She's always saying that. It's so weird you guys think so alike.
Inya
Oh, wow. This. I just didn't know I was going to be violated like this. On the podcast. I'm going to start saying I was violated, and you violated me with that comment.
Drew
Like, I don't like the way that sounds like a really harsh finger to point at me.
Inya
Why?
Drew
Just like. Like, I was violated by Anya.
Inya
Like, oh, my God.
Drew
Like, do you know what I'm saying? Like, you violated me. I feel like if I watch to do that, everyone would be like, oh.
Inya
Oh, yeah, maybe I'm not going to make that my vocab. I'm not going to do that.
Drew
That is so funny.
Inya
Okay, well, I got one more thing to leave y' all off with, and then we'll do media, and then we'll move on.
Drew
Are we going to Drew side up?
Inya
One more. Don't show me anything on the phone anymore. There's nothing I need to know that's in the phone. Show me a bird's eye and a child's smile.
Drew
I love. Like, it's like, there's nothing else in the phone.
Inya
Well, I fucked up because it's supposed.
Drew
To read on the phone.
Inya
It's supposed to read. Don't show me anything in the phone anymore. There's nothing I need to know that's in the phone. Show me a bird's eye or a Child's eye.
Drew
No, that is so funny. Like, that's.
Inya
No, I know. That's the way it's supposed to be.
Drew
Oh, okay. Yeah.
Inya
But I. I replaced the first in with.
Drew
It'S still so fun, but in.
Inya
The phone, show me a bird's eye and a child's smile.
Drew
Wow.
Inya
Wow.
Drew
Birds lament. All right, let's do media, guys.
Inya
Okay, so I watched a movie today.
Drew
Okay, you sound really happy about it.
Inya
Yeah. I watched Mirror Mine, 2005. And the only reason I watched this movie was because I saw a video of people being like, like, album and a movie that complements it really well or, like, that carries the same energy. And one of my favorite albums ever, Bjork's best album, is Vespertine. And I saw it in the list, and the person said, this movie, Mirror Mind, is like Vespertine. And I can confirm it gives the same energy. Like, the sounds in it are really pretty. Like, it's. It's a. It's really, like, a mundane movie, but it, like. It's a mixture of, like, mundane and, like, how to pass time. Of how to, like, pass mundane time with, like, spirituality and, like, how to, like, how they, like, intertwine. It's really cool. I want to watch. So check it out. It's really pretty. Here, let me show you. I was, like, screen recording it because I was like, look at this shot. But, like.
Drew
Wait, wait, wait.
Inya
And then they just, like, intercut between sunsets and oceans with their.
Drew
Was that on Criterion?
Inya
No, it's literally on YouTube. So go watch it. It's on YouTube 2005. Me or mine. And then my musician is. I actually have a new song that I've been listening to. What the hell was that sound? Is that our doorbell?
Drew
I'm like, there's no way that's the noise it's making.
Inya
The new song is Hannah's Son by Lomelda. Come on, y' all. Like, that's a good song.
Drew
Yeah, it is really good.
Inya
Oh, so good. And then in McDonald's by burial, if you haven't listened to Burial yet, it do it classic. Love, love, love. And I'm airing out my right now, so I'm gonna shut the up.
Drew
But, yeah, I've been listening to Moto Mami by Rosalia. I never. Yeah, I never really listened to it like that. And then I was like, damn, I'm so bummed I didn't see her live. So I've been listening to that album a lot, only, you know, by Dion. Everything reminds me of her. Elliot Smith Armin Doily, Maman Sunny and Ebb Tide, Houston and Dorsey.
Inya
This is literally going to be Josh.
Drew
That's funny.
Inya
Okay, then. Last thing I'll lead you guys off with before we go is my me canceling my membership. The email I sent. Hello, I want to cancel my membership. The sauna is always closed. I was scanned by my last trainer, then ignored by the staff once I asked for help. And quite frankly, I don't feel safe in the locker room room. Also, the price point is just. Or also the price point just feels outrageous for what you get. Thanks.
Drew
Wow, that was a good read. I love Quite frankly. Yeah, and quite frankly, like saying that.
Inya
I like, went Karen and I don't give a. Like, suck my nuts.
Drew
Yeah. That's the new fall vibe. That's the fall trend list is being a Karen. So next time someone's trying to sell you on TikTok shop items, if it's not a Karen suited fit, then you don't need it because you're gonna be off angle. Yeah.
Inya
And you know what I'm talking about. That's the angle.
Drew
Yeah, that's exactly it.
Inya
You know what I'm talking about. No, I said, oh, I'm gonna get a billboard for it.
Drew
Oh, that is it.
Inya
That there's like an intersection there that.
Drew
Yeah.
Inya
People aren't talking about that I'm gonna make commentary on.
Drew
Dude, you say that's the angle. Like, it literally was freaking me out. I was like, yeah, that is the angle. All right, well, thank you guys for listening. As if anybody gives a what I'm going through, I guess.
Inya
Yeah. Guys, love yourself, love your family. The nuclear family is being destroyed and it's the root of all of our problems.
Drew
So, like, wait, no.
Inya
Jk, jk, jk. But love yourself.
Drew
Chill, please.
Inya
And peace and love and unity and respect. Bye.
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Emergency Intercom: Episode Summary - "We Think You Are Toxic"
Release Date: August 11, 2023
Hosts: Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips
Podcast Description: A comedic take on everyday situations with a humorous twist.
The episode kicks off with a nostalgic nod to the 2012 Mayan calendar phenomenon, where Inya reminisces about her childhood fears. Reflecting on her youthful anxiety, she muses:
Inya (01:05): "We all know 2012 Mayan calendar ending. How scary boots. I was literally convinced that, like, a tsunami was gonna eat me up in Granbury, Texas... How do we know we didn't die?"
This segues into a humorous speculation about whether humanity continued unknowingly into a post-apocalyptic reality, setting a playful yet introspective tone for the episode.
Drew and Inya delve into the realm of political humor, particularly focusing on former President Donald Trump, whom they affectionately nickname "Chomp Chomp." Their banter highlights the absurdity of political personas and catchphrases:
Drew (03:21): "He thought Trump was literally gonna say... 'let him go' on the walkie talkie."
Inya adds her satire on media influence and political manipulation:
Inya (03:32): "He ate with fake news. He really did."
Their lighthearted critique underscores the podcast's ability to blend humor with contemporary political commentary.
Continuing their political discourse, the hosts examine how political affiliations often hinge on catchy phrases and specific lingo. Inya points out the strategic use of language in conservative circles:
Inya (03:57): "They got captured, they got tricked by... the lingo is what brought them in."
Drew concurs, emphasizing the power of simple catchphrases in maintaining political bases:
Drew (04:03): "Demon cry is really fucking good."
This segment underscores the influence of language in shaping and sustaining political identities.
Transitioning from politics, the conversation shifts to the pervasive issue of phone addiction. Inya candidly shares her struggles with excessive phone use:
Inya (06:17): "A lot of bitches have been saying, like, Drew's always on that damn phone... I'm looking at this fucking phone."
Drew echoes this sentiment, detailing his own experiences and the challenges of breaking free from constant digital engagement:
Drew (13:18): "My tick tock screen time got so bad that I have started to be fed tick tocks I've already liked."
Their honest discussion highlights the modern dilemma of balancing connectivity with personal well-being.
The hosts recount a series of car-related anecdotes, blending humor with genuine moments of frustration. Inya narrates a near-miss accident caused by distracted driving:
Inya (18:14): "Everyone was, like, dying, laughing. And I was like, 'Guys, we have a flat. We almost died.'"
Drew adds to the tale, sharing his exasperation with the situation:
Drew (19:10): "Everybody after... What else happened in the car?"
This segment serves as both a comedic recounting of mishaps and a subtle commentary on the dangers of multitasking while driving.
In a candid shift, Inya opens up about her irrational fear of rabies, intertwining it with humorous self-deprecation:
Inya (25:12): "I’m convinced that I’m gonna get rabies, y’all."
Drew playfully engages, expanding on the topic with exaggerated humor:
Drew (25:31): "And you already are. You stinky. You don't like to shower. You got rabies."
Their light-hearted exchange masks deeper anxieties, providing listeners with both laughter and relatability.
Inya discusses the often-overlooked trauma associated with menstruation, particularly the societal pressures faced by young girls:
Drew (33:42): "Your underwear. I have a soggy bottom."
Inya elaborates on the stigma and discomfort tied to period management in public spaces:
Inya (34:11): "Being forced to wear a pad in a pool... that is, like, so up."
Their discussion brings attention to the silent struggles many face, using humor to shed light on a sensitive topic.
The conversation takes a introspective turn as both hosts explore themes of self-awareness and emotional processing. Inya shares an experience of staring into a mirror to achieve a state of "ego death":
Inya (35:46): "Seeing how long I could stare at myself in the eyes before I... experienced ego Death."
Drew relates, drawing parallels to his own moments of vulnerability:
Drew (36:04): "This is literally me when I get addicted to the grind and I gotta step back."
This segment underscores the podcast's depth, melding humor with genuine self-examination.
Inya and Drew transition to lighter topics, sharing their favorite movies and music. Inya recommends the 2005 film Mirror Mask, likening its ambiance to Bjork's Vespertine album:
Inya (49:33): "Mirror Mind is like Vespertine. I can confirm it gives the same energy."
Drew complements her suggestions with his musical tastes, highlighting artists like Rosalia and Burial:
Drew (51:28): "I've been listening to Moto Mami by Rosalia... Elliot Smith, Armin Doily..."
Their recommendations provide listeners with curated content, reflecting the hosts' eclectic tastes.
As the episode draws to a close, Inya humorously shares her experience canceling a gym membership with a notably stern email:
Inya (52:10): "Hello, I want to cancel my membership... I'm not going to make that my vocab."
Drew adds his flair with witty commentary on societal trends and personal reflections:
Drew (53:33): "Peace and love and unity and respect. Bye."
Their playful sign-off leaves listeners with a mix of laughter and thoughtful musings, encapsulating the essence of "Emergency Intercom."
Key Takeaways:
Humor as a Lens: Inya and Drew adeptly use humor to navigate and discuss a range of topics from political satire to personal fears.
Relatability and Honesty: The hosts' candidness about their struggles with phone addiction and personal anxieties fosters a sense of connection with the audience.
Diverse Discussions: From apocalyptic fears to media recommendations, the episode spans a broad spectrum of subjects, maintaining engagement through varied content.
Interpersonal Dynamics: The chemistry between Inya and Drew shines through, characterized by playful banter and mutual support, enhancing the podcast's appeal.
Notable Quotes:
Inya on 2012 Fears (01:05): "How do we know we didn't die? How do we know everyone in the world didn't die in 2012 and we are just living in hell right now?"
Drew on Phone Addiction (13:18): "My tick tock screen time got so bad that I have started to be fed tick tocks I've already liked."
Inya on Rabies Fear (25:12): "I’m convinced that I’m gonna get rabies, y’all."
Inya on Menstruation Trauma (34:11): "Being forced to wear a pad in a pool... that is, like, so up."
Inya on Self-Reflection (35:46): "I've never thought about that interacting."
Drew on Emotional States (36:04): "This is literally me when I get addicted to the grind and I gotta step back."
Conclusion:
"We Think You Are Toxic" offers a blend of sharp wit, personal anecdotes, and thoughtful commentary, all delivered with the distinctive comedic flair of Inya Umanzor and Drew Phillips. The episode navigates through a myriad of topics, ensuring that listeners are both entertained and engaged. Whether dissecting political humor or sharing personal vulnerabilities, "Emergency Intercom" maintains its promise of laughter intertwined with genuine conversation, making it a compelling listen for both regular fans and newcomers alike.