Emergency Intercom - Episode: "We’re Having a Baby"
Release Date: April 15, 2022
Host/Authors: iHeartPodcasts (Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips)

1. Introduction and New Gadgets

The episode kicks off with Kai introducing his excitement over a new gadget he recently acquired—a KORG OP-1 portable synthesizer. Although initially silent, Kai demonstrates the device's capabilities, leading to playful teasing from Drew and Inya about its sounds.

• Kai: “It's got some cool sounds and can do some really cool things.” (00:50)

2. Personal Anecdotes and Experiences

Drew attempts to start the episode with a joke about gentrification and eviction, reflecting on how these experiences have shaped him emotionally.

• Drew: “I got evicted and my house got turned up like a little LA hype house, and it made me a better person.” (02:25)

Kai and Inya chime in with their own opinions and reactions, adding humor and camaraderie to the discussion.

3. Review of Sonic the Hedgehog 2

The hosts delve into their thoughts on the "Sonic the Hedgehog 2" movie, critiquing specific elements like Eggman's suit design and expressing a preference for the original Ugly Sonic.

• Drew: “I saw Sonic 2 yesterday. It was awesome... Eggman's big suit is so crazy.” (04:43)
• Kai: “They need to bring back Ugly Sonic. I will die on that hill.” (05:03)

4. Existential Contemplations and Theories

A significant portion of the episode centers around deep, often humorous existential discussions. Kai shares a personal experience of waking up unexpectedly and contemplating the nature of reality and reincarnation.

• Kai: “What if every time you're dreaming, it's a different timeline... It's like reincarnation.” (14:26)

Drew adds to the conversation by exploring the implications of memory loss without prior warning, leading to a philosophical debate about existence and consciousness.

5. Banned from Universal Studios

Kai recounts a vivid story from his youth about attempting to sneak alcohol into Universal Studios, leading to his eventual ban from the park. The tale is filled with comedic elements and chaotic interactions with security personnel.

• Kai: “They ran through the banning, and they were... really fucking scary, tiny office.” (30:04)

Drew and Inya add their own perspectives, enhancing the relatability and humor of the story.

6. Childhood Memories and School Experiences

The hosts reminisce about their school days, sharing stories about minor thefts, confrontations with strict teachers, and childhood crushes. These anecdotes are laced with humor and exaggerated emotions.

• Inya: “I probably stole like a total of $0.15 worth of gummy worms.” (34:24)
• Drew: “In fifth grade, Ms. Hollywood would yell, ‘The devil is a lie.’” (37:30)

7. Social Media and Influencer Strategies

Kai and Drew discuss the dynamics of social media influence, contemplating unconventional methods like buying views and scamming brands to boost their online presence.

• Kai: “I am gonna start buying views.” (24:19)
• Drew: “We're never getting a brand deal.” (25:00)

8. Planning for the Future: Having a Baby

True to the episode's title, the hosts explore their thoughts and apprehensions about having children. They debate the joys and challenges, balancing genuine considerations with their trademark humor.

• Kai: “If I had a baby, I would never let y' all know.” (50:59)
• Drew: “I'm about to commit suicide.” (52:04) (Note: Contextually humorous but touches on sensitive topics.)

9. Media of the Week

Towards the end, Kai and Drew share their favorite media from the week, including movies, music, and shows, providing quick reviews and personal favorites.

• Drew: “My media of the week is '12 Stout Street' by RX Poppy and 'Good God Bless the Child' by Billie Holiday.” (63:41)
• Kai: “My media of the week is 'Stars to the Rainbow' by Young Mean and Thai Boy Digital.” (64:40)

10. Chaotic Interactions and Wrap-Up

The episode concludes with a series of humorous and chaotic interactions, including phone calls and playful banter. The hosts reflect on the authenticity of their reality and the impact of their podcast on listeners.

• Drew: “When Drew gets caught in a lot, he passes out.” (63:02)
• Inya: “You're so sick, dude.” (62:29)

Notable Quotes

• Kai on Reality and Reincarnation: “What if every time you're dreaming, it's a different timeline... It’s like reincarnation.” (14:26)

• Drew on Memory and Existence: “If you just went to sleep and you didn’t know that tomorrow you would wake up... that freaked me out.” (15:00)

• Drew on Being Banned: “We were delinquents... and I was like, please just go have fun.” (27:00)

• Kai on Social Media Tactics: “I am gonna start buying views.” (24:19)

• Drew on Teachers: “In fifth grade, Ms. Hollywood would yell, ‘The devil is a lie.’” (37:30)

Conclusion

"We’re Having a Baby" is a rollercoaster of humorous anecdotes, deep philosophical musings, and lighthearted banter among friends. Enya, Drew, and Kai navigate through personal stories, media reviews, and existential questions with their signature comedic flair, making the episode both entertaining and thought-provoking for listeners.