Loading summary
Enya
Welcome to this episode of Emergency Intercom.
Drew
I'm Drew.
Enya
I'm Enya.
Drew
And we're just here to have, like, a beautiful time. Spread misinformation as I do best.
Enya
I know that is your. That's your thing.
Drew
Yeah, my whole stick and bit is spreading misinformation. All right, well, what were we just talking about that I wanted to talk about?
Enya
Naked Attraction.
Drew
Yes. Naked Attraction. So there is this show that we have been binging. Like, I. I think we might actually be the fastest completion time of this show ever. Like, when we're just sitting in the living room, like, and we have homies over, we'll just be like, yo, have you heard of this show Naked Attraction? It's like this old BBC show that, like, just gets naked and you see naked bodies on tv, and, like, everyone's like, there's no way. But, yeah, there are. There is a show on HBO Max, where you can just see naked bodies, but it's, like, normal to them because they have, like. They don't have, like, insecurities about their bodies.
Enya
And also the standards of, like, showing your body, Like, I think the ideas of the naked body are, like, different.
Drew
In Europe, which is literally how it should be.
Enya
Yeah.
Drew
But, like, we have just been told to be afraid of our body and stay dressed and clothed at all times because capitalism buy more clothes. They make money off of you if you clothe your body.
Enya
So that's why we should all get naked.
Drew
Yes.
Enya
That's our big takeaway from this episode today. If no matter what conversation comes up, just know that what we want is specifically women. Oh, why not men? Actually, that show. That show. I am not kidding. Like, I cannot stress enough. When I'm eating and watching that show and it's all naked men on the board, I literally lose my appetite. Like, it's, like, really hard to watch, and it's so gross. It is literally so jarring, and it actually, like, no, it makes me sick. Like, I was eating and I was so hungry, and we came home and we started watching it with Josh, and I literally was like, oh, my God. I was, like, eating my poke bowl, and I had to put it in the fridge and eat, like, saltine crackers because eating, like, flavorful food while looking at those naked bodies, like, of those men was actually scaring me because, like.
Drew
Ironically, I feel the exact same way about the women. I don't. Like, I just don't. It disgusts me to look at women.
Enya
Is that because you just believe in, like. Like, the, like, the not sexualizing women's bodies and it feels like, yeah, okay, I, I knew it came from a feminist place.
Drew
So. No, I will say though, like, the, that show is really unironically good for like the male psyche. And that's where I'll leave that. Because like, there's a bunch of like normal fucking looking penises on there and all you see in porn and television and shit are like monster fucking, giant hogs. And then I'm saying that, like, I don't have a monster hog between these.
Enya
I know. Because it's. If anything, you are the beauty standard and you're hurting your fellow peers.
Drew
Exactly. I'm slinging me, bruh.
Enya
I would. I could say the same about the women though, because like everybody on there like, is just like your average person. And I'm like, okay, cool. I am not supposed to be shaped like literally an IMVU character. My body is normal. Like, I am fine. I am fine.
Drew
Well, I think all women should have like really thick thighs, giant butt, big boobs, and like a 4 inch waist. Like, I think women, dude, I think.
Enya
If someone had a 4 inch waist, they'd be like, perished. Like, they would be like, like. Okay, I'm just like, really confused with your like, standards or like, do you love them or do you hate them?
Drew
I think they should be naked all the time.
Enya
Okay. Okay. I mean, that didn't answer the question, I guess. But yeah, that show is awesome. If you are not a child, you should watch it.
Drew
Yeah, literally. But it did like, raise a lot of like, people were like, get this off the airwaves.
Enya
Like, what the.
Drew
This is demonic. Like, Americans were like, what the is this? I mean, like, it's just like the vibe.
Enya
I will say it does make sense for it to get flacked because it is like at the end of the day, like, it is crazy to just put naked people in front of you and be like, you're ugly, your balls are gross. I don't like like that. I don't like that. But okay. My one thing is they always describe coochie as nice and tidy. They're like, that's clean and tidy. Like, oh, she's got a tidy little fanny. Like, tidy. Like, I like that. I like that. It's neat and tidy and tucked away.
Kai
Neat and tidy.
Enya
Did I know? And I'm like, first of all, they say it about every that's on screen.
Kai
And I'm like, ever call it a gash? No, this isn't that.
Drew
I think that's like. I don't.
Kai
Misinformation is that misinformation.
Enya
I think I have heard that term dude. Actually, some of the dudes on there.
Kai
Something I heard some of the dudes.
Enya
When they get kicked off, they're like, you know, she's not my cup of tea, but she's got a banging rack on that body. So it is a shame. Like, I will say, and I'm just.
Drew
Like, I shag you in the back seat.
Enya
There was one guy in season six.
Kai
Every time Drew does that, I have, like, an out of body experience. I like to associate.
Enya
When you do that, you seem like you turn into a robot chicken. Like, like, toy. Does that make sense? Do people still watch Robot Chicken? I don't think Robot Chicken exists.
Kai
I don't think so. They want skibidi toilet.
Drew
That's the robot chicken. Wait, what is it? You're so popular. How does it go? I'm gonna.
Enya
No, it's smiling for the picture. You're so pretty. You're so popular. I don't know and don't even ask.
Drew
You're so rizzy.
Kai
There's like a W. Ohio version.
Drew
Yeah, yeah, exactly. You're skippity. You're so phantom Tax.
Kai
Okay, what does the Ohio thing mean? Drew?
Drew
I know you know, only in Ohio. Well, it goes back a very, very long time. And that's all I have to give to you.
Enya
My name is Carmen Winston.
Drew
My name is Carmen Winstead.
Enya
I'm 17 years old. I'm very similar to you.
Drew
Did I mention that I'm dead?
Enya
You're really good at it.
Kai
That is really good.
Enya
I was trying to tell Drew that that's what he should be for Halloween because we've been discussing. I know. Next week is the Halloween episode, and we've been discussing what we are. I already know what I am because I'm basic and I'm silly and it's gonna be cute.
Drew
I have a costume.
Enya
Yeah, we have a costume for Drew. But I think we should keep an open mind if something else comes up. But I was like, he should be Carmen Winston for Halloween. But the only picture of her.
Drew
Winston.
Enya
Oh, instead, what's her name?
Drew
Carmen Winston.
Enya
But the only picture of her is a picture of a child who is definitely alive and just like, it was back in, like, OG Before AI because now if something like that happened, they could just be like, make dead girl. Whatever. And, like, AI would make a new person. But it was back when people would just grab a random face and be like, that's you.
Drew
It's crazy. Like, all of the creepypastas. I watched, like, a Video of like the original photos of like the creepypastas. Like, you know, like, what is the smiling Jack one? What is his name?
Enya
I don't know, but that's what one of the.
Drew
But basically like they're all just normal pictures that look kind of beat that someone saw and then just edited the out of.
Enya
That's literally us with the golden bachelor.
Drew
That girl, I was going to say, like, that's us with a certain someone that we don't need to talk about. But yeah, literally it's. It was the Internet. Early days of the Internet, like forum Internet was so crazy. Like, I want to go back. Take me back.
Enya
We have been on a crazy reality TV kick. We never tap into reality TV and we just bitch. Oh my God. I don't know if anybody actually took what we said and went and watched Love is Blind that like, I could have watched 18 more hours of that shit. Like, that was literally the best brain rot I've consumed in a very long time.
Drew
Yeah. It's just so drama filled and messy boots and like the reunion episode was everything I wanted it to be. There were some things that were left out that I was like, I want clarity on that. But it completely shifted my perspective on some I know people that I was like, oh, you're evil. But no, it like completely shifted and I was like, no, I'm happy for you.
Enya
Yeah, everyone. I'm like, you're relatively normal, but JP is the killer.
Drew
Jp, if you're watching, you know what we mean.
Enya
But that is the killer. Okay, but we can move on.
Drew
Wicked. But I want to talk about water beds. What were we doing? Like, literally what was like, I still.
Enya
Have never touched or interacted with a waterbed. And that was to me a sign of luxury. Two things. One, a waterbed, the idea that somebody out there could afford a waterbed was a sign of luxury. Two, I realized that like this puts into perspective like my family situation. But I had a homegirl whose Godmom was like 24 and bought a brand new Toyota Corolla. And I was like, if only we were that rich. Like, I literally was like, I wish we could have a new Toyota Corolla. And that car, like it was, it's like a 2010 Toyota Corolla in red. That car was the, like, that was the sign of wealth. That was silent. What is it called? Like silent. Well, yeah, yeah, that was silent. Well, I was like, damn. Like, that's crazy.
Drew
Yeah. Well, the only reason I brought it up was because I like had this like deep, deep, deep Seated like memory in my brain of me interacting with a water bed when I was like 4 or 5 and I realized that my mama and granddad had a waterbed for like the first.
Enya
They were freakily.
Drew
No, that's what I'm saying. They were like freaky as. And then I just like went on a deep dive of water beds. And like everyone who had them when they were younger were like, it was literally the worst thing like I've ever slept on. Like, literally imagine just sleeping on water and plastic and like. So like think of an air mattress. And like when you sleep on an air mattress mattress all night, you sink into it a little bit. It's the same idea with water beds, except it's water and really fudgeing heavy. So you get like trapped in this like fucking like divot in the waterbed. And they were like. It was like impossible for me to get out sometimes. Like I would have to call it for help to get out of my bed because I was like inside of it. And then they were like also like filling it up was really terrifying because like you can explode the waterbed or whatever. But yeah, I remember playing. I remember I was not allowed to fucking touch that waterbed. Like I was not allowed anywhere near it because I was like a toddler and I would just jump all over.
Enya
It or water bed. It's expensive. I feel like actually now that I think about it, they should be cheap because it's literally a big plastic balloon and you're filling it with the water.
Drew
I think they were pretty expensive like.
Enya
At the time, like, cuz they were just like gimmicky.
Drew
They were like, yeah, exactly. Best leap of your life. But also imagine having doing like s on that. Like, that's what I'm saying.
Enya
They're freaks. They're. They. They're moving with the motion of the ocean. You know that kind of like they.
Drew
Were literally like, it's not the size, but the motion of the ocean.
Enya
No one's ever said that to you.
Drew
Because you've got that sling of meat. Yep. Hog. Hog water. But yeah, I remember playing on it one time and I literally like, it was the same night that I chased my s sister around with a knife after watching Billy and Mandy and Jesus, dude, have I ever said that?
Enya
Yeah. Yeah. Because then you're. Because then your grandparents were. Your grandpa was like, you're never watching that show again. It's evil.
Drew
Yeah. I mean it literally was like I was watching clips back of it. It's like actually an evil show. Like there's like an evil demon rabbit. That's like tough love. Have you ever heard of it? And he starts beating the.
Enya
Like, he looks really cute. And then they'll do the zoom ins and he'll say something evil.
Drew
Yeah. And then.
Kai
Wait, that's so Donnie Darko.
Drew
Yeah, basically.
Enya
I've never seen Donnie Darko. I've never seen Donnie Darko. I'm gonna watch it this week, I think. But I was thinking about that. I was like, I've never seen any James Duvall movie. And I saw him at the Slow Dive concert, and he was staring at me, and I was like, oh, my God. I'm gonna act like I know who the he is right now. Like, stop. We went to Slow Dive, and it was amazing. It was so good.
Drew
Literally in your, like, got me tickets. Because there's a lot of herstory there. Basically, when my brother died, we went back to Texas, and you, like, came with me, and we were driving up and down these streets, like, literally going, like, 120 miles per hour. Like, literally so dangerous. Don't do that. I'm not bragging. It was literally, basically, yeah.
Enya
I was thinking about that the other day when I was getting ready. I was like, that's the kind of shit that, like, you look back on and you're like, that is so immature.
Drew
And, like, that roads were empty. It was like. I mean, it's nowhere, but middle of nowhere Texas. Like, these roads, like, didn't. We did not see a single soul on it for, like, the hour and a half we were driving up and down this road. But there are two songs in particular that when those songs came on, like, I was like. We listened to them over and over again. And it's Slow Mo and Star Roving. And I. I literally still to this day, cannot listen to those songs without just, like, sobbing my eyes out uncontrollably. And at the concert, I was literally like, boohoo. Crying. And I've never cried at a concert ever in my life. And I was literally just so, like, I. I. Before it, I was like, I'm not even gonna cry. Like, I thought I was the week leading up. But, like, when we were getting there, I was like, oh, like, I feel nothing right now. I'm not gonna cry. And I still crowed.
Enya
I crowed. It was so good. I love concerts so much. Like, I'm. I've been on a big, like, concert kick. Like, I'm going to every concert I can find tickets to, but fudge resellers, because concert tickets are way too expensive right now it's actually fudgeing insane. Like, even for smaller concerts, like, why Is this ticket $100?
Drew
I think we're literally, like, hitting the peak of it. Because, like, Travis Scott's tour, like, obviously bots bought all those tickets, and everyone's like, I'm not going to that. Like, what? And then last minute, they're like, I'm gonna go. But, like, the resellers bought too many, so the ticket prices are so low for his tour, which is, like, crazy. That's like Travis Scott.
Enya
I know. It's also crazy for resale tickets.
Drew
Yeah.
Enya
To, like, an arena tour. Those are usually so expensive.
Drew
Yeah. But just buy the ticket. If you're really wanting to go, just buy the tickets an hour before the show. It's literally a cheat code.
Enya
Yeah, I know. That's what I. I, like, want to get on is, like, buying it right before. But then what if they're sold out? But that's, like, really rare. That, like, there's not even one person reselling a ticket. Like, come on.
Drew
Okay. Another person I want to talk about is Susan Boyle.
Enya
That, like, name sounds familiar, but I don't know if I know who Susan Bo is.
Drew
She's the, like, it's like, don't judge a book by its cover. Like, underdog story on American Idol where, like, everyone was like, I do remember Susan Boyle. Yeah. Everyone was like, for the people who don't know, she was like, this girl on American Idol or whatever, One of those British Got Talent or whatever. I don't know. She was, like, not the most beautiful woman you've ever seen. And everyone immediately clocked her for it and was just writing her off and just being, like, dicks about it. And then she got on there and sang her. Put her whole into that song. Like, Susan Boyle put her into that performance. Like, she ate down. And she won over Simon Cowell, who is melting in front of us. He is literally actively melting. We need to study him.
Enya
His lizard picture of him for 10 years. I don't.
Drew
His lizard skin is melting off of his face. Like, his. It's really, really scary.
Enya
How old is he? I feel like he's been 50 for, like, 20 years.
Drew
I think he's probably 65. But, yeah, she ate down. I.
Enya
My brain just, like, did the thing where you, like, glance at something and it replaces it. And I thought it said he was 94 years old.
Drew
His skin is melting.
Enya
No, he's 64.
Drew
But.
Enya
Whoa.
Drew
Yeah, dude, that's what I'm saying. Something is seriously wrong.
Kai
Look into that oh, yeah, he looks amazing.
Drew
But didn't she have, like, really gnarly. It was the X Factor. But didn't she have, like, a gnarly controversy or something? Like. Or was that just, like, tabloids just making up to, like, ruin this woman's life who just got set in fame?
Enya
I don't know. But, like, does she make music?
Drew
Like, she did make music.
Kai
She stormed the Capitol.
Drew
She was at the Insurrection. Why was she there, bro? She's British, dude.
Kai
Nobody knows.
Enya
Damn. She has 500k weekly listeners. Wait, she's popping. Okay.
Kai
Your holes apart.
Enya
Yeah, I mean, I helped write that about Drew. Wait, she eats. I dreamed a dream it's time gone by. Do you know that song?
Drew
That's what she sings.
Enya
Well, that song has 32 million streams, so there's people out there who listen to Suzanne Bole, Susan Bo.
Drew
She was dealt such a heavy fucking card getting that last name. Boyle. Boyle.
Enya
Some people have it so hard.
Drew
Like, literally.
Enya
That's insane. There's so many people out there who make music. Who. I literally don't understand, like, who. Wait, when you look up Suzanne Bole, the first song that comes off is Anal Queen.
Drew
Oh, so maybe she did rap about.
Enya
Literally, like, it's like, suzanne, Anal Queen. I dreamed a dream. Anal Queen. But, like, exclamation point.
Drew
But, yeah, I think she. Oh, wait, yeah. She went to a psychiatric hospital.
Enya
Well, that's the episode. Thank you guys so much for listening.
Drew
Thank you for tuning in. No, I also wanted to talk about perfume in middle school.
Enya
Oh, my God.
Drew
Like, okay, so we all know, like, the nasty, stinky boys who didn't shower after football practice in the morning and just went to the locker room and sprayed, like, a disgusting amount of ax all over their body or links. Like, they would go. Just, like, I was a part of the problem. Like, like, just doing it. And, like, I want to see the correlation to people who have, like, something wrong with them mentally and how much ax they poured on their body when they were younger. Because, like, that shit is suffoc. Like, literally, like the exhaust.
Enya
You literally just said you were one of those people. So you're the example here.
Drew
That's what I'm saying. There's got to be a correlation or a pipeline.
Enya
So now you are further proving your point because you are conspiracizing that the reason something is wrong with you mentally is because of your ax use.
Drew
Yes, Yes.
Enya
I mean, there is a whole thing about. What's that one Burned a deodorant that men use. The red one. Old Spice. Old Spice literally gives chemical.
Drew
I've. I've had them. In high school, I had chemical burns all over my armpits and they were like bloody and blistery. And it hurt so bad and I didn't know it was causing it. And I kept using it until I saw like an article talking about it.
Enya
What? Men are so fudgeing stupid. Because I literally. Somebody I dated, what had the same thing. It literally had chemical burns under his armpit because of Old Spice. And he was like, dude, this, this deodorant just burns me. Like, I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I was like, throw it away and get a different brand of deodorant. Like, what is happening? And I had to physically throw it away and go with him to buy new deodorant. Like, why do men do that?
Drew
I feel like that's unacceptable. That's a grown ass man. I was a child doing that. Let's get that straight. Let's get that straight. Are you.
Enya
I thought you were 17, though. So you're.
Drew
Yeah, this was high school three years ago.
Enya
That's what I just have you graduated already?
Drew
Yeah, I got my ged.
Enya
Oh, so you dropped out and then you got a ged?
Drew
No, I got my GED early. I did a bunch of AP in college. I'm actually a senior in college right now too.
Enya
Okay, so when did you start college?
Kai
Oh, that's super impressive.
Drew
When I was freshman, I had started AP and dual credit classes.
Enya
But yeah, men are so annoying for like, that, like, throw that away and move on. Like, what is wrong with you?
Kai
When I was, when I went to middle school, I. I went to a new middle school after sixth grade and I was like the new kid. I didn't have any friends. And then this one kid who's like the coolest kid in seventh grade was like, you should come to my house after school today. Like, you're sick. And I was like, okay, tight. Like, I made a friend. He's cool, he has clout. I go to his house and then immediately he's like, dude, like, do you know that you can make bombs out of aluminum and bleach?
Drew
Oh, I did that all the time. The shake. Like, yeah, yeah, I did that.
Kai
So for the next like three hours, he's just like building bombs. And then he's like, dude, I'm bored with this. So then he had like a brother who is, I guess, like 10 at the time, and he was like, let's smoke bomb. Let's smoke bomb my brother. And I was like, with what? Like, what are you. What the are you talking about? And then he was like, dude, I do this all the time. It's really sick.
Drew
Stop this. He. I. We had Ax wars, too, where we would tape the top down and throw it in the room.
Kai
He tapes a fucking axe can throws into his brother's room, runs around and locks the door. And his brother's, like, screaming like, it's crazy.
Drew
It was crazy. We would have ax words.
Kai
I'm now thinking, like, what. What did his brother end up to do?
Enya
And literally inhaling. Like, it's literally like inhaling a whip. It. I feel like. I feel like it's the same. Like, it has to do the same thing to your brain. Like, if you're just, like, suffocating yourself with something like that.
Drew
Me and all my homies literally are all freaks. So, like, it makes sense because we would do the same thing. We would have Ax wars, where we would, like, build forts and then spray each other with ax and shit. Then it graduated to spray paint, and then it became bullying. And it's one of my biggest regrets of my life as I spray painted a kid. And then he had school next.
Kai
Like, Mad Max.
Drew
Yeah. Like, no, I, Like, I spray painted him. Like, it's. It's really, like, nutshell. Like, we. We were like, let's. Let's have a spray paint battle. And then me and my friends, like, teamed up against him. It was really, really dark.
Enya
And, like, do you know him still?
Drew
Yeah. Yeah, we're still friends. Like, I literally apologize for all of it because I. I was like. I was evil, y' all. Like, it was really bad. But, yeah, we used to do the bombs where you would get tin foil, and then it's the works. It's called the works bomb. And then, like, there's, like, a chemical where it, like, expands the bottom, like, explodes. But we also used to shoot the cans of ax with BB's and explode them. There wouldn't be. I. There might have been. There wasn't fire. No. But then going, like, I would get.
Enya
In so much trouble because when my dad would actually go and get me, like, a Victoria's Secrets, like, body spray, and I would come back home and it was empty because I would be in classic, like, on all my friends going to the bathroom, being like, let's go to the bathroom and put on our perfume. But really, we were just literally soaking each other down with it, and we would literally start to smell. Like, literally, some of that perfume reminds me of the smell when you leave like, piss in a litter box too long.
Drew
Like, it literally.
Enya
Like, it's literally an ammonia. Like, it is a crazy scent. And the fact that, like, we were also. Why did teachers get so mad about us, like, using it in class?
Drew
Like, because you were literally gassing out the class. Like, you were causing problems like that. That's what that was. My original point was, like, we get made fun of for our ax juice. Like, y' all weren't doing the same thing with that glitter perfume, like, in the back.
Enya
It was such a vibe, though, the glitter perfume. Also, like, school in general just smelled like maple syrup fart bombs, and then a mix of, like, the worst perfumes on the planet.
Drew
Like, all just breakfast in general.
Enya
Like, I hated that smell. I hated getting to school in the morning because I don't like the smell of maple syrup. Especially that fake ass one that comes in the, like, McDonald's little one. And school would just smell like that. Like, you knew if a kid had breakfast at school that morning because they just smelt like a pancake. You smell like a pancake. Get out of my face. Like, it was so sticks.
Drew
Oh, that hit I literally, my entirety. I'm not gonna talk about that. I'll tell you all that later, though.
Enya
Oh, wow. Oh, wow.
Drew
I just never ate in high school.
Enya
Oh, I didn't either.
Drew
I did not eat school lunch, and I would eat two meals when I got home.
Kai
Yeah, I would eat chicken nuggets every day.
Enya
Your school had chicken nuggets every day?
Kai
I would eat chicken nuggets every day.
Enya
Did your school have chicken nuggets every day?
Kai
Yes.
Enya
Seriously?
Kai
Yes. And I would eat them every day, actually.
Enya
See, when there was, like, a good thing, like chicken nuggets or something, I was that up. Or they would give us, like, fake ass McChickens with no mayo, no lettuce. It was just the bun and, like, my. A chicken patty and I would.
Kai
The that they gave us were, like, half frozen.
Enya
Yeah, it was like hockey puck, and.
Kai
You have to, like, dethaw them in your car.
Drew
My school had a Subway, a chipotle, a Domino's, and a Chick Fil A.
Enya
You trying to think of something else?
Drew
No, I'm not. I'm not even kidding. We had. But we had, like. Yeah, no, we had, like, dupes of it. Like, our chipotle was, like, shitty, like, cafeteria food, but they would wrap it up into burritos for you, and it was, like, $30.
Enya
Wait, what? The layout of your school lunch, like, place.
Drew
The cafeteria was like this, and then along this side of the wall was like, like, four different, like, lines that you could line up in. And you would like, so, like, burrito line was this side, then the pizza line was this side. And then, like, the regular lunch food was this side. And then like, the chick fil A and sandwich making spot was like, this side. But they had actual.
Enya
You literally went to High School Musical, like, what the.
Drew
They actually had real chick fil A sandwiches. Like, but they would sell out so fast.
Enya
That is insane. My cafeteria school was, you get in, there's two lines, and it's the same slop shit on each side. And you just had to wait in line. And if you went to the front to like, go see what there was before you got in line, you would get yelled at because they'd be like, get to the back of the line. So you have to wait in the line just to get to the front and see that. It was like cold ass green beans, like a shitty, like, empty, like, pizza that had, like, no marinara sauce on it.
Drew
Like sausage pizza. The little nodes of sausage was like. Actually they looked like moles that were removed from the lunch ladies back, like, they were literally so nasty. Like, I can't. And kids ate that up. I was like, you're freaks. But the kids that ran to the lunchroom, like, I gotta see where they're at today. Like, they were about that. They were all like the weirdos with like, the roller backpacks. But, like, where are they? Like, do you know what I mean? Like, they're all in computer people who.
Enya
Like, needed to be at the front of the line. I'm like, that shitty food is gonna be there for the next 40 minutes.
Kai
I had a roller backpack.
Enya
Did you?
Kai
Actually, yeah, I did in high school, but in fifth grade. And this really big kid would always kick it.
Drew
Really?
Kai
I also, I brought like a teddy bear to school, like, way too late into my, like, elementary school years. And I had a rolly backpack with a teddy bear that would, like, his head would stick out and this kid would just kick the out of it. And the bear would go, sweet.
Drew
That's sweet. Actually. That's cute.
Enya
I think it's exact or you being a. Like.
Kai
No, I think both are sweet because I' underdog and I'm the main character.
Enya
Okay.
Kai
No matter what.
Enya
I don't know if you've ever watched a movie, but usually the. That's not how that works.
Kai
The kid with the rolly backpack is not the main character character ever.
Enya
Well, have y' all. Cuz it's crazy that, like, Schools make kids pay for lunch. Like, there. There was, like, nothing more humiliating.
Drew
Do you remember book covers? Did y' all have book covers?
Enya
What do you mean?
Drew
Like, the. The nylon book covers?
Enya
Yeah.
Drew
Oh, my God.
Enya
Dude, that was, like, stretchy ones.
Drew
Yes. That was like a currency in my school. Like, and I remember, like. Like, I was so swagged out. Like, that's when I knew that I was cooler than everybody else. Still am. Don't play was when I had, like, all the cool book covers and then I had that side satchel bag where my binders and books would sit in it.
Enya
At my school. You would have got beat the up, because that is so embarrassing. Like, kids who like.
Drew
No, I was mew mew coded. Like, what are you talking about? Like, yeah, like, I had the mew mew side satchel. Like, it was.
Kai
That was the evolution. That was the rolly backpack to the. The thing that you strap across your chest. I thought it was like a messenger bag or something.
Drew
Yeah, messenger bag.
Enya
I. I didn't know anybody who had those. Like, who was, like, cool. Who had those. So at my school was different.
Drew
So it was cool.
Enya
Yeah. I don't know. It feels like you remembered that because you. Kai was saying he got bullied, and then you had, like, a moment where you remembered being bullied and then you brought that up.
Kai
The narrative has shifted.
Enya
Yeah.
Kai
You were the person blowing people up a second ago, and now you're.
Drew
No, no, I was. I was wicked. Like, I. I wasn't like, I wasn't like, a normal bully. I was like. Like, I would. Like, I was like, psychological. Like, I was like, a psychological bully. Like, I told this kid he had squids one time and made him, like, sob squirrel aids for those. Like, and, dude, I still feel bad about that. And then, like, the teacher sent me out to the hall and I was like, oh, I was devastated. And then like, yeah, I spray painted him. I threw, like, basketballs at him all the time. And then like, oh, dude, actually, I don't want to tell that one. That one's mean.
Enya
Well, what I was saying is, why the do they make children pay for lunch at school? Because that is so gnarly. I will never forget going, like, there was nothing more humiliating than getting to the front with your tray of food and then. Then putting in your number and looking at you, being like, you don't have any money and taking your tray away from you and giving you cereal and milk. And that was like, that is so humiliating. Like, each time I would cry and be so embarrassed and just like, you're always in line with a friend behind you. And like, then your friend just goes and gets their food. And now you're walking with like, like a thing of cereal and milk and your friend has all their hot food.
Drew
And you're just like, dude, it's really gnarly. Like, if you think about it, like, we would rather our children starve than let them eat a two dollar meal that costs two max. Two dollars. But, like, what, like, actually, also, what are you gonna do?
Enya
Give my trade to another kid? They would just throw my tray out. Like, you might as well just give it to me. Like.
Drew
Yeah, exactly.
Enya
We had, like, I'm hungry.
Drew
We had really sweet lunch ladies. Like, I love my lunch ladies. Like, like, if, like, my parents forgot to put money in my account or something, they would just be like, you can pay me next time.
Enya
Yeah, they would let you go sometimes. But, like, I was one of the kids who would always like, be like, I'm gonna have money next week. Sorry. And they're like, you're not gonna have money next week? No. And then broke.
Drew
Broke. No money.
Enya
No.
Drew
No swag. Broke.
Enya
Well, I had a lot of friends who fed me, so. And I'll never forget that kindness that was shared to me. And it was a lot of friends who had fallings out with. Falling out with. And then I had to fight them anyway, so. I will never forget in middle school.
Drew
I don't think you got jumped in middle school.
Enya
I never got jumped, but I have got my ass.
Kai
I got jumped.
Enya
Yeah, you got jumped 10 times, bruh. Shut the up.
Kai
10 times. All in a row, too. Every.
Enya
Oh, my God.
Kai
No, I'm just.
Enya
You were being sacrificed.
Kai
I never got jumped.
Drew
I was never gonna jump back to get my ass.
Enya
Rightfully so one time, and it was by, like, one of my homegirls. Like, I said something I should have never said to her, and she. She had some height on me and she beat my ass. And immediately after, we had a really good conversation, and it was fine. We had a very nice, nice conversation that we never beefed again. That. That was in, like, fifth grade.
Kai
I actually did get one time very quickly. I was. I. It was. I was a freshman again at a new school, a new high school. And I.
Drew
Damn. So you were like new kid syndrome.
Kai
I was new kid syndrome. Three times. Yeah. So I, like, I would carpool with this kid, Diego, and we had. We shared a locker. It was like freshman year. And this kid comes up and he shoves me against the locker. I think this is Like, a week into school or something. But he was in my PE Class. He was really strong. He shoved me against the locker. And then Diego goes around the back of him and grabs his hat and throws it on the ground. I might have said this on the podcast. No, I've never heard this, but it was, like, the nicest thing that anyone's, like, ever done to me or for me.
Drew
Man. That's so out of nowhere.
Kai
Like, I didn't even really know him that well. But he just, like, stood up for you. He stood up for me and he, like, grabbed his hat. He grabbed his, like, fitted San Francisco Giants hat and, like, stomped on it. And he was like, don't, like, do that to my friend. And I was like. I was like, bro, that was so funny.
Enya
Yeah, that's that Latin culture. We just, like, stand up for, like, the.
Drew
Why the.
Enya
Is his name Diego?
Drew
Diego?
Kai
Diego is a white man named Diego?
Drew
Yeah.
Enya
Like, damn. His parents were feeling themselves. They were like, what are we gonna name him? Well, I'm gonna name my chat child San Francisco. My name is San Francisco, and I'm from San Diego.
Drew
The Up. Well, one time when I was on crutches, and I was, like, first in line at this thing, and, like, one of my friends who dated my sister in, like, seventh or eighth grade or something, like, just was, like, around with me and, like, just being a. To me and just being whatever. Just shooting the. But I wasn't, like, having it.
Enya
So much smoke.
Kai
Came out of.
Enya
I shot it out because I started to laugh at myself because I'm gonna be like, whoa. You let your friends hit your sister? Like, you let them hit that? Like, that's crazy.
Drew
I did, bruh. It was crazy. I was lit.
Kai
Did you ever get yelled at by your friend's parents?
Drew
Yes. I'll tell about that in a second. But then this kid. I boiled over. It was the first time I, like, saw red and I had my crutch, and I just went and, like, hit the. Out of his shin, like, And I literally made him bleed. And he never with me ever again. But he had, like, a gash on his leg, and he. He was a track runner. And I, like. I was like, go for the leg. Go for the leg. And I just went and, like, cut his leg open and bruised it. And he was, like, limping. He was like, bro, what the fuck? Like, why did you do that? I was like, don't fucking play. When I was, like, probably 13, my best friend was really into skating. And this is when you asked if I've ever gotten yelled at by, like, someone's parents, which, by the way, is.
Kai
Like, one of the worst. It's things that can happen to someone.
Drew
It is literally horrible, horrible feeling. And I still, to this day, when I think about it, I get like, oh. Oh. Like, I. I get, like, nervous. But, yeah, my friend was really into skating at the time, and his dad was, like, this, like, macho guy. He, like, built everything. He fixed up cars and boats, and, like, he was a pilot, and he did everything. Like, he. He was actually really cool. But he helped. He was helping his son build, like, a half pipe. Like, he was, like, built. We were building a half pipe for him, and, like, I was, like, a skinny little scrawny, nasty twink. Like, I was gross. I was like, I was a needed to eat a burger challenge. And we were building this half pipe, and I came over on a day. They were building it, and the dad was like, hey, Drew, come over here and help me. And I went over there to help him, went over there to help him, and he was, like, moving, like, giant sheets of plywood because they were almost done, and they were stapling, like, the top on or nailing the top on. And I just could not. I physically could not hold my end of the giant sheet of plywood, and I was, like, dropping it, and I just, like, I couldn't do it. And I kept telling him. He was like, no, you got it. You got it. We had to walk, like, 30 more feet, and then I just, like, drop it. And then he, like, drops it on his feet and he gets. Oh, my God. He was so mad. He was like, why didn't you tell.
Enya
Me you were gonna drop it?
Drew
Like, that could have really injured me. And, like, he was, like, reaming into me, and my friend was like, bro, like, what the is going on? He, like, he took his anger out on me and snapped at me, and I just was like, okay, I'm gonna go home. And I called my dad and waited at the top of the driveway and went home, and it was like, I was terrified. He, like, scared the out of me, but he's still cool today. He showed me. I see him all the time still, but, yeah, evil.
Enya
Wow. I personally would have gotten the police involved.
Drew
I would. I. I would have called personally, I would not have handled.
Enya
Yeah, me personally. I would have beat his ass. I would not have let him talk to me like that. Like, it would have been hard.
Kai
The first one is I used to carpool in, like, middle school with people lived in my neighborhood. And I was late every time. It was my bad, but whatever. And then one day, we were, like, coming back, and I was in the car. I was making, like, annoying jokes, and the driver, who was like, my neighbor's mom, was like, you know what, Kai? Like, I really wish you would shut the up because you're late every morning. You hold everyone up and, like, destroyed me. Like, completely destroyed me. And then she was like, I'm. I. I want you to get out of the car, and I want you to walk the rest of the way. And then I walked. But I needed this. Like, I needed it. Like, ever since then, I have not been as late to things.
Drew
I swear to God. Drama.
Kai
No, it's good. It's really good.
Enya
Again, I wouldn't have let her get away with that. I would have been like, you know what? You get out of the car. And I would have fought her ass right there in front of her.
Drew
I would have pulled her hair. I would have splashed habanero juice on her. Like, I don't play with that.
Enya
I guess. Like, actually, I didn't hang out with, like, my friends. I was, like, in the kind of household that if I hung out with my friends, they would usually come to my house. But I never had any of my friends yell at me. But I had my godparents, who I was really close with, their kids. My godfather yelled at me, like, twice, which I also think I said this on the podcast, but we. Like. I had a really bad habit as a kid that before the car came to a stop, I would open the door and get out, and he would always be like, do not do that. Don't do that. That's dangerous. I don't want to run over your foot. Don't do that. And then one time I did it, and he would, like, blast music in the car. So I did it. And he slammed the car shut. He slammed the car, like, to a stop, turned down the music and turned to me and was like, what the Did I tell you about doing that? And I was like. And he was like, no, we're gonna try this again. And he pulled out of the driveway, went around the block, and, like, had the music blaring again. Like, he literally recreated the whole scene. And my ass never opened that door too fast ever again. Because I was like, that was insane. He had never yelled at me. Me. Never raised his voice, but he just, like, went in on me. He was like, and if I broke your foot, then it's my fault and your dad's gonna beat my ass. Like, don't do that. And, like, went in on me and then went back around, and then I just never opened the door, too.
Kai
That will change the trajectory of your moral and ethical compass.
Enya
Yeah.
Drew
Dude, when Adele yelled at me.
Enya
What?
Drew
I don't even want to talk about it.
Enya
You knew Adele.
Kai
You should barely dive into that. Yeah, that seems super interesting.
Drew
We were just, like, chilling a bunch. Like, hanging out. Yeah, she, like, poured acid towards me. It didn't hit me, thankfully, but there's.
Enya
Like, certain stories that I want to tell, but I think they would not be taken lightly, so I'm not going to.
Drew
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mm.
Enya
When we have nothing to talk about, we're like, let's go down memory lane. Like, let's talk about our child.
Drew
So much to talk about. That was just a free flowing, organic conversation, which is really nice. We can talk about how men are nasty and will always cheat. Should we talk about that? Should we get into that?
Enya
Sure.
Drew
Okay. So a classic, classic cheater.
Enya
Oh, are you saying that because of what we saw yesterday?
Drew
I don't even know what your reference saying. I'm talking about something else, but throw it in there if.
Enya
No, because if anybody's gonna watch Love is Blind, you need to watch it.
Drew
Because that's what I thought. Partially that, but no. Stephen Hawking cheating on his wife Riz. Literally, silent, robotic Riz. Like, let's talk about that. He has robot Riz. But. But that cheated on his wife and couldn't move. Like, he literally couldn't move. And he cheated on his wife with one of his nurses. Like, if there's one thing you can count on a man doing, it, it's gonna be to cheat. Like, I can't. Literally can't.
Enya
That's in the trajectory of anybody who is, like, dating a man. Like, you better believe at some point you're gonna have to talk about the fact that he cheated.
Drew
Like, it's just in some capacity. It may not be hooking up. It may not be doing Ed. But, like, in some capacity, he's gonna look at a woman wrong or something. But, like, oh, my God, if Stephen Hawking can cheat, any man will cheat. Like, just think about that. Also, why was he on Epstein's Island? Like, let's really talk about that. What was he doing there? But anyways.
Kai
Wait, what?
Drew
He was on Epstein's Island? There's pictures of him there. Yes, there's.
Kai
I didn't. I didn't know that.
Drew
There's pictures of him there, bro.
Kai
What the.
Drew
Isn't that crazy?
Kai
That is, like, that's truly insane.
Enya
No one had any business being there, let alone him. He had no business being there. Like, why are you there, dude? Imagine actually not knowing what's up with Epstein and like being invited to an island. Like, people.
Drew
Wait. A billionaire is flying me out to an island to ride jets?
Enya
If a billionaire came up to me right now, I was like, you, do you want to get on a private jet and go to my island? I'd be like, yes. And then 20 years from now, there's just a picture me like, like posted up. And it's like I. It turned out to be the killer. And I was just like, like in all my pictures of hella happy, people were like, look how happy she was. She was fully involved.
Drew
What's that robot girl? What's that robot girl?
Kai
Little Michaela.
Drew
Little Michaela, dude. Little Michaela met Epstein. She was on that island. There's a picture of it.
Enya
Like, I'd be so pissed. Cuz imagine you went and it wasn't even that fun too. And now you' involved. I'd be pissed.
Drew
Look, there's literally a picture of her and Epstein together. Like, this is crazy. And it's a printout so you know it's real. Like, what the.
Enya
Dude. Oh my God. Wow.
Drew
I love the idea of you being posted up with Glenn Maxwell.
Enya
Like, that's what's worse is like, you are probably a little drunk, so the photos aren't even good pictures.
Drew
So you're gonna be like, yeah, like.
Enya
Just post it up. Oh, I'd be so pissed. Okay, guys, I didn't know. I just like, heard free. I just heard island.
Kai
And I'm like, a really hard week. You're working your ass off and then you get this invitation and you're like, oh my gosh.
Enya
Literally a godsend. Thank you so much.
Kai
You're like, yeah. The trip had kind of weird vibes. People were being a little bit weird.
Enya
People would disappear for a few hours, but I just thought they were sleeping. Like, it a really big left out.
Kai
That you weren't getting like, invited to.
Drew
Well, I'll leave us with one more thing and then we can get into media and stuff.
Enya
This is actually the Psyop corner.
Drew
Oh, I'm. That's what I mean.
Enya
Media.
Drew
Yeah. But this one's kind of sweet. But I was just like, I forget where we were. Oh, we were at the Eve's tumor show. And just like seeing all these people being like, oh, like I. I was watching you when I was like 13, 14, brain rotted. You're a dangerous Person love you. But if you're still listening, like, like, I don't know.
Enya
I don't know where you're just crazy as we are.
Drew
We're just as crazy as we are. But I was just like, looking around and thinking. I was like, damn, dude. We really did like, all like, kind of grow up together in a way.
Enya
Like, yeah, 100.
Drew
Like, I'm glad, like, I got to grow up on the Internet. And it's just really sweet to just like, like, hear stories of people being like, oh, yeah, like, I saw you when I was 14 and now I'm like graduating nursing school.
Enya
And like, yeah, it scares me because, like, that's like one of those moments where I actually have a concept of time. Because if like, one of you comes up to us and it's like, oh, yeah, I've been watching you since I was like 12, and now I'm. I'm looking at the face of an adult. Like, it's like, yeah, I've been watching you since you started on the Internet for like 10 years ago. And I'm looking at like, the face of another adult. I'm just like, like, w. How are you ever 12 years old watching my content like that? Like, I. I like, I, like, can't correlate it and it freaks me out, but in a sweet way. Cuz I'm just like, oh, my God, that's insane. And then it makes me think about the fact that, like, I actually have an effect on people, which I don't want to think about because that scares me. But I'm a good person, so it's okay.
Drew
Someone like one there we. We met like, this nurse that was just like, oh, like, it's so like, y' all make me feel like, less crazy because, like, y' all are weirdos and it's just like, really sweet, but I forgot who. Who I was talking to about it, but someone. I. I had the thought, but then I lost it when you were talking. But whatever, it doesn't matter. Let's move on.
Enya
Oh, wow. Oh, wow.
Drew
That's my move on.
Enya
Also, that just reminded me of. We've literally said on the podcast before, like, if you are a doctor and you listen to this, I'm scared of you. And then she was like, I'm a nurse. And I was like, you're crazy. Wow. You're crazy. But love, live, laugh, love. She was awesome.
Drew
Drew Psyop Corner.
Enya
Hey. Oh, my God.
Drew
Welcome to Drew Sighop Corner. So this one's just a classic. You've already seen it. It's, like, three weeks old. She ate this. Let him cook that. Who the fuck's gonna be doing the dishes?
Enya
Kai.
Drew
Scratching a bug bite feels like evil masturbation.
Enya
That's a really good one.
Drew
Having a crush gives me the same symptoms of psychosis, like, delusions of grandeur. Like, really? Okay, this one is, like, a thought that I had that will probably be cut out, but I don't have it written out in Drew psyop form. So I kind of just like, go into it a little bit. But how do people with dementia and Alzheimer's still remember to be racist? Like, literally on their deathbed? Like, they're still racist. Like. Like, it's so deeply ingrained into their. Like, racist, homophobic. Like, what the hell?
Enya
Like, how is that the one thing that sticks? Like, it makes no sense.
Drew
And then, like, you'll see videos of people, like, walking down halls with, like, their dementia or Alzheimer'd out, Like, mom. And, like, they're walking behind her filming, and the mom is just like, you fat pig. Like, I hate you. Like, why are you following me, freak bitch? Like, I hate you. Like, leave me the alone. And then, like, the girl's like. Like, oh, my God. Like, how do. How do dementia people remember to be mean?
Enya
Like, I don't know.
Drew
Like, it's really.
Enya
Yeah. How do you remember to just be evil? But maybe that's, like, a sign that, like, that person might have just had, like, a little evil in them that's, like, always lingered and, like, that's just the part of their brain that still works. Like, I just don't understand it.
Drew
Yeah, it's really crazy. Do I got any more? I think that's all I have.
Enya
I'm trying to remember. I said something in the car that you were like, write that down. But I didn't. I simply didn't.
Drew
Maybe I wrote it down because my.
Enya
Funniness just, like, you have to be there for it. And if you're not there, then, like, I don't know what to tell you. You just weren't there, and now you won't believe I'm funny.
Drew
Daniel Roseberry from Schiaparelli is fine.
Enya
You writing that down?
Drew
I wanted to talk about it, but.
Enya
Oh, yeah. You were supposed to show me people you found attractive. And then I was gonna tell you if I, like, agreed with you.
Drew
Yeah, we'll do that next episode.
Enya
Okay. Said we'll do it with Josiah.
Drew
Yeah.
Enya
Drew said that my taste in. What did you say about my taste in men?
Drew
I don't remember exactly, but it's just really, like, bizarre.
Enya
Like, I feel like you could probably, like, if we put, like, five people up. I feel like if you put five women up, I think you would easily be able to choose who I thought was attractive. But for men, it's just so obscure.
Drew
Like, that's the word I use. Like, her attraction is just very obscure. Like, it's, like, down to the minute detail, like, the nose bridge. Like, I've. I've noticed, like, every single man, you're like, oh, he's fine. Has, like, the exact same, like, bump in their nose. I'm like. And yeah. Oh. Oh, hell now. Oh, hell now. Oh. Oh, I suck at it, bro.
Enya
My name is Carmen Winstead. My name is Carmen Winstead. I'm 17 years old. I'm very similar to you.
Drew
Did I mention I'm dead? When I was 17 years old, three girls pushed me down a well.
Enya
I got stuck down there.
Drew
Send this chain email to 25 of your friends or she'll come and kill you.
Enya
My name is Drew Phillips.
Drew
All right, Media of the week. We need to hit up stream. No, we need. No, wait, wait. We need to hit up low. Anthony to record us one of those.
Enya
Do you think he would? I bet if we paid him, he would.
Drew
Hell, no.
Enya
You don't think if we paid him.
Drew
There's some pictures of him that came out, and I was like, oh, my God, that is a straight man. Like, but then there were some pictures that I saw that I was like. Like, there's a little gay in him. Like, he's. He really is a little gay, and he's just repressing that. He's like, scared straight. We need to start a show called Scared Straight where it's gay people conversion therapy.
Enya
Oh, I don't think we need to, though. So that's crazy. I forgot what I was going to say.
Drew
Renegade. Renegade. Renegade. Oh, so when I talk, it's a little better.
Enya
Little.
Drew
I was gonna start rapping. Yeah, I've been rapping a bunch recently. Rap album coming soon.
Enya
My media of the week is. What did we watch? Oh, we watched the Second Exorcist. They made a movie about me and Orion. The Second is literally about me and Orion and our wingbots.
Drew
Literally.
Kai
The movie's about you before you've had your coffee in the morning.
Enya
That's literally a joke Drew made while we were watching it.
Drew
I said that and I said the Wingbot joke.
Enya
We said the Wingbot joke at the same time. Did Orion tell you that? You whispered it to Orion and I a second later. Said it. And she goes, drew literally just said that to me. So we had the same joke at the same time, loaded up.
Drew
Well, no, I said it first, so.
Enya
Okay, well, I'm speaking from personal experience.
Drew
So, like, me too.
Enya
But, yeah, that's the only movie.
Drew
And, yeah, I would throw your wing butt away. I'm gonna be honest.
Enya
Why? Oh, have you been using it?
Drew
I put it on my butthole.
Enya
I really did. Yeast infection time.
Drew
My stank A butt BV time.
Enya
My media of the week is. I think I already said this. The abandoned Luncheonette album by Daryl hall and John Oates. And I'm still listening to I want you like that album by Marvin Gaye. And. Oh, my God, the Troy song. What is it One of your girls.
Drew
That song is so good.
Enya
Yeah, I've been listening to that one a lot. Look at you.
Drew
Look at you.
Enya
Look at you. Look at me. One of your girls by Tracy Vaughn.
Drew
Look around the room. It's a fine day. Opus three. Still listening to the 100 Tricks Point Never album. Still listening to Yabujin and Boards of Canada. I don't have any specific songs to give you other than Opus 3. I will say it's a fine day. Opus 3 is quite literally the best song ever made. Like, are you. Sir, you better not be serving while I'm talking to you.
Enya
You better not doing your media of the week while I'm serving. Cut in front of the camera when I get there.
Drew
Better not not be serving.
Enya
Why did that joke come back up? Like, I think you said it first. You said it.
Drew
I just been saying it randomly. And then you, like, say it back to me, and then I say it back to you, and we say it four times in a row.
Enya
It's the same thing as when we see something. We're like, okay, me When I'm. And then we just describe what we're looking at. It's the same thing.
Drew
Oh, because we were in the hydro flask with a dent in it.
Enya
We were in the. Who is that? All right, well, thank you, guys for watching somebody. I saw somebody be like, the way. And you cut the podcast off every time. Scares the out of me because I'm like, all right, guys, bye.
Drew
Like, literally. But we watched The Exorcist in 40X and that movie would have been terrible if it didn't have 40x.
Enya
Every movie should be in 40x. It's so funny.
Drew
It's like Disney World.
Enya
Yeah, it literally is a theme park. But, yeah, I literally have nothing else to say. So you. Bye.
Drew
Sa.
Emergency Intercom: Episode Summary – "We're Losing Our Minds"
Release Date: October 20, 2023
Hosts: Enya Umanzor and Drew Phillips
Guest: Kai
Enya (00:16): Welcomes listeners to the episode of Emergency Intercom, setting a comedic and candid tone for the discussions ahead.
Drew (00:22): Introduces himself and Enya, humorously admitting their intent to "spread misinformation," a hallmark of their comedic style.
The hosts delve into their fascination with the BBC show Naked Attraction, exploring themes of body positivity and societal standards.
Drew (00:44): Expresses enthusiasm for the show, noting, “We have been binging” and humorously claims they might be the “fastest completion time of this show ever” (00:44).
Enya (01:26): Discusses the differing cultural perspectives on nudity, highlighting European norms versus American insecurities: “The ideas of the naked body are, like, different” (01:26).
Drew (01:34): Criticizes capitalism’s role in promoting constant dressing: “We have just been told to be afraid of our body and stay dressed” (01:34).
Enya (03:00): Shares a personal reaction to seeing naked men on the show, saying, “I literally lose my appetite” (01:51). She elaborates on the discomfort and its impact on her enjoyment of meals while watching.
Drew (02:50): Ironically praises the show for benefiting the male psyche by showcasing more "normal" male bodies compared to unrealistic portrayals in media: “There's a bunch of like normal fucking looking penises on there” (03:00).
Enya (03:48): Contrasts this by appreciating the average appearance of women on the show, reinforcing body positivity: “Everyone on there like, is just like your average person” (03:30).
Drew (04:13): Sarcastically suggests women should have exaggerated body features, prompting Enya to counter, highlighting the absurdity: “If someone had a 4 inch waist, they'd be like, perished” (03:59).
Enya (04:24): Concludes with a recommendation for mature audiences to watch the show, despite its controversial nature: “If you are not a child, you should watch it” (04:24).
The conversation shifts to reality TV, specifically Love is Blind, and its impact on their perspectives.
Enya (08:17): Mentions their recent binge on reality TV and how they usually critique rather than engage, noting a shift with Love is Blind.
Drew (08:35): Praises the show's drama and development, expressing a desire for more clarity in reunion episodes: “It was everything I wanted it to be” (08:35).
Enya (08:54): Highlights a particular contestant, JP, as “the killer,” adding humor and intrigue to their analysis (08:59).
Reflecting on childhood memories, the hosts discuss water beds as symbols of luxury and the practical challenges they presented.
Enya (09:14): Shares her first impressions of water beds as signs of wealth: “If somebody could afford a waterbed was a sign of luxury” (09:14).
Drew (10:02): Relates his negative experiences with water beds during childhood, describing them as uncomfortable and dangerous: “It's like sleeping on water and plastic” (10:02).
Enya (11:17): Suggests that water beds should be more affordable, humorously reducing them to “big plastic balloons” (11:17).
Drew (12:25): Recalls unsettling memories involving water beds and childhood TV shows, adding a creepy twist to the discussion: “That's what I'm saying. It was back when people would just grab a random face” (11:27).
The hosts share their love for concerts, the challenges of ticket reselling, and memorable performances.
Drew (13:06): Describes his emotional experience at a Slowdive concert, emphasizing the profound impact of the music: “I literally still to this day, cannot listen to those songs without just, like, sobbing my eyes out” (13:06).
Enya (14:01): Expresses her enthusiasm for attending concerts despite high ticket prices, highlighting the frustration with resellers: “Concert tickets are way too expensive right now” (14:19).
Drew (14:40): Comments on the prevalence of bots in ticket sales, using Travis Scott’s tour as an example: “Resellers bought too many, so the ticket prices are so low for his tour” (14:40).
Enya (14:52): Provides a tip for buying concert tickets last minute to avoid resellers: “Just buy the tickets an hour before the show. It's literally a cheat code” (14:46).
A humorous yet critical discussion on the excessive use of perfume and its social implications during their school years.
Drew (18:27): Critiques the overuse of Axe deodorant among boys, linking it to potential mental health issues: “There's got to be a correlation or a pipeline” (19:00).
Enya (19:15): Reiterates the point by sharing her own experience with friends suffering chemical burns from deodorant misuse: “I had chemical burns all over my armpits” (19:19).
Drew (19:25): Confesses to suffering from deodorant burns and only realizing it after reading an article: “I kept using it until I saw like an article talking about it” (19:25).
Enya (19:39): Expresses frustration over boys’ lack of awareness, sharing anecdotes about friends experiencing similar issues: “He was like, dude, this deodorant just burns me” (19:25).
Drew (20:02): Reflects on their youth, emphasizing the problematic behavior linked to deodorant misuse: “That's unacceptable. That's a grown ass man” (20:02).
The hosts reminisce about their experiences with school lunches, highlighting both the variety and the humor in meal plans.
Kai (24:33): Describes the roller backpack he used in fifth grade and the bullying associated with it: “This kid would always kick it” (27:08).
Drew (25:19): Details his unique high school cafeteria setup featuring various food lines, including a real Chick-fil-A station: “Our chipotle was shitty, cafeteria food” (25:38).
Enya (26:01): Compares her school's lunch experience to a more uniform and restrictive system, expressing disdain for the limited options: “Cold ass green beans, like a shitty, like, empty pizza” (26:32).
Kai (27:02): Shares a story about defending a friend from bullying, showcasing loyalty and camaraderie: “He stomped on his hat” (27:15).
Drew (28:24): Nostalgically recalls the status symbol of certain book covers and side satchel bags in school, juxtaposing it with childhood bullying behavior: “Best swagged out” (28:14).
A candid and often humorous exploration of their past experiences with bullying and social dynamics during school years.
Drew (30:53): Opens up about his regret over spray painting a classmate, highlighting the dark side of their youth antics: “One of my biggest regrets of my life as I spray painted a kid” (30:53).
Enya (31:08): Shares her own experiences without getting physically jumped but facing verbal confrontations, emphasizing the emotional toll: “I never got jumped, but I have got my ass” (31:08).
Kai (32:04): Narrates an incident where a friend stood up for him during a bullying scenario, displaying unexpected solidarity: “He grabbed his hat and threw it on the ground” (32:04).
Drew (34:03): Recounts a severe confrontation where he physically attacked a peer, revealing a moment of intense anger and its lasting impact: “I hit him out of his shin” (34:03).
Enya (36:42): Describes her own disciplinary encounters, illustrating the strict and sometimes harsh responses from authority figures: “He slammed the car shut” (36:42).
The hosts transition to their Psyop Corner, sharing quirky observations and humorous takes on various media-related topics.
Drew (46:07): Introduces Drew Psyop Corner, sharing whimsical thoughts such as scratching a bug bite feeling like "evil masturbation" (46:07).
Enya (47:58): Participates by discussing the perplexing behavior of individuals with dementia retaining racist tendencies, blending humor with social commentary: “How do dementia people remember to be mean?” (47:46).
Drew (50:16): Teases upcoming content like his rumored rap album, adding a playful element to the segment: “Rap album coming soon” (50:57).
Enya (51:03): Recalls watching The Second Exorcist, humorously linking it to personal anecdotes and shared jokes with Drew: “We were in the hydro flask with a dent in it” (51:02).
The episode concludes with light-hearted banter about past jokes, future plans, and mutual appreciation for their long-term friendship.
Enya (53:47): Thanks the listeners and wraps up the episode with humorous reflections on their shared history: “I saw somebody be like, the way” (53:47).
Drew (54:12): Signs off with a playful farewell, maintaining the comedic essence of the show: “Sa” (54:12).
In "We're Losing Our Minds," Emergency Intercom offers a blend of nostalgic reminiscences, social critiques, and humorous exchanges. Enya and Drew, joined by guest Kai, navigate through personal stories and pop culture discussions, all delivered with their signature comedic flair. The episode highlights their ability to turn everyday experiences into engaging and relatable content, making it a must-listen for fans and newcomers alike.