would you trust enya as your lawyer

Summary

Episode Summary: "Would You Trust Enya as Your Lawyer"

Emergency Intercom’s July 7, 2023 episode, titled "Would You Trust Enya as Your Lawyer," delivered a whirlwind of comedic chaos, candid confessions, and unabashed banter between hosts Drew Phillips and Enya Umanzor (referred to as Terry Jo in the transcript). This episode navigated through personal revelations, confrontations, and humorous takes on modern societal issues, all while maintaining the show's signature intense and attention-grabbing flair.

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1. Introduction and Merchandise Promotion

The episode opens with Drew Phillips enthusiastically announcing the release of new merchandise, setting an upbeat and engaging tone for the listeners.

• Drew Phillips [00:30]: "Merch is out. Merch is out Today. Merch is out as this episode is out. Thank you guys so much for supporting us for the past two years, which is terrifying."

This promotion serves as both a nod to loyal listeners and a segue into the episode's main content, highlighting Drew's humorous self-awareness about the consistency of their podcasting efforts.

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2. Enya’s Sexuality Revelation

A significant portion of the episode revolves around Enya confronting her sexuality, a moment that introduces a blend of vulnerability and humor.

• Terry Jo [02:13]: "I am actually..."

Before completing her sentence, Kai, an unexpected and disruptive guest, interrupts, escalating the situation into a heated yet comedic exchange about sexual orientation and personal beliefs.

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3. Confrontation with Kai

Kai's aggressive stance introduces a chaotic dynamic, challenging Enya's honesty and sparking a series of sharp and witty retorts from Drew and Enya.

• Kai [02:47]: "You want to come out homosexual? Well, let me tell you this. That's a sin."

• Drew Phillips [04:03]: "You're not gonna save your mother because she's, like, gay."

This confrontation not only provides comedic fodder but also delves into themes of acceptance and personal boundaries, all wrapped in the show's trademark irreverence.

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4. Struggles with Self-Image and Appearance

Transitioning from confrontation, Enya expresses anxiety about her appearance on camera, leading to a lighthearted discussion about filters and self-perception.

• Terry Jo [09:42]: "I don't look like this today. How do I turn on the filters?"

• Drew Phillips [10:02]: "Because I want to make yourself look pretty."

Their banter highlights the universal struggle with self-image, especially in the age of social media, while maintaining a comedic undertone.

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5. Family Dynamics and Parenting Satire

The hosts shift gears to fabricate humorous stories about parenting, particularly focusing on their fictional child, Luna. This segment exaggerates common parenting challenges for comedic effect.

• Terry Jo [22:10]: "She is the most perfect baby ever."

• Drew Phillips [22:38]: "I'm not having this around me."

Through over-the-top scenarios, they parody the anxieties and absurdities that often accompany family life, resonating with listeners through shared experiences heightened by humor.

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6. Commentary on Influencer Culture and Propaganda

Drew and Enya critique the influencer-driven propaganda campaigns, specifically targeting manufactured trips to places like Xi'an, China. They dissect how influencers are manipulated to portray deceptive narratives.

• Terry Jo [56:30]: "They were being used as props to, like, subdue."

• Drew Phillips [59:34]: "Imagine being the face of one of the first vibrators. Like, sign me up."

This segment offers a satirical take on the intersection of commerce, media manipulation, and authenticity, prompting listeners to reflect on the genuine intentions behind influencer endorsements.

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7. Personal Achievements and Overcoming Challenges

Amidst the chaos, Enya shares a personal victory—quitting vaping—which serves as an empowering moment within the comedic framework of the episode.

• Terry Jo [65:40]: "I am 21 days today off the vape."

• Drew Phillips [67:12]: "That's awesome, dude."

Their discussion underscores the importance of personal growth and resilience, presented in a relatable and humorous manner that acknowledges the struggles associated with breaking habits.

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8. Closing Remarks and Final Banter

As the episode nears its end, Drew and Enya circle back to merchandise promotions while wrapping up lingering comedic threads, ensuring the audience is left with chuckles and a sense of community.

• Drew Phillips [63:35]: "Merch is out as this episode is out. Thank you guys so much for supporting us for the past two years, which is terrifying."

• Terry Jo [73:44]: "That's actually it. We can replace my vape with."

The final moments blend promotional material with ongoing humor, encapsulating the episode's blend of levity and sincerity.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Terry Jo [02:35]: "I am actually..."

• Kai [02:47]: "You want to come out homosexual? Well, let me tell you this. That's a sin."

• Drew Phillips [04:03]: "You're not gonna save your mother because she's, like, gay."

• Terry Jo [09:42]: "I don't look like this today. How do I turn on the filters?"

• Terry Jo [22:10]: "She is the most perfect baby ever."

• Drew Phillips [56:30]: "Imagine being the face of one of the first vibrators. Like, sign me up."

• Terry Jo [65:40]: "I am 21 days today off the vape."

• Drew Phillips [63:35]: "Merch is out as this episode is out."

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Conclusion

In "Would You Trust Enya as Your Lawyer," Emergency Intercom masterfully balances intense humor with candid personal discussions. Drew Phillips and Enya Umanzor navigate through confrontations, personal insecurities, and societal critiques with finesse, offering listeners a rollercoaster of laughter, relatability, and genuine moments of triumph. This episode not only entertains but also invites introspection on issues of trust, identity, and the influence of media, all while solidifying the podcast's place in the comedy landscape.

Transcript

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. This spring, stock up on all your personal care favorites and earn four times points. Now through June 17, shop in store online for deals on all your favorite personal care items, like Pantene Shampoo, Native Body Spray deodorant, Secret Body Spray, Venus Razors, Always Pads, Head and Shoulder shampoo, and Native Deodorant, and earn four Times points. Then use those points for discounts on groceries or fuel. You don't want to miss these deals. Offer ends June 17th. Promotions may vary. Restrictions apply. Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details.

[Drew Phillips]

Merch is out. Merch is out Today. Merch is out as this episode is out. Thank you guys so much for supporting us for the past two years, which is terrifying. I don't think there's anything in my life I've done as consistently as this. And honestly, don't be surprised if you never see my face again. Welcome to this. Wow, that was a really masculine clap on your part just now.

[Terry Jo]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, you've been working on it.

[Terry Jo]

I've been practicing it. People are, like, now, like, pointing out that I have a jawline. They haven't ever seen it before, but I got a jawline. I do. It's there. It's there.

[Drew Phillips]

That's the new addition to Emergency Intercom. Now that we've passed 100 episodes, Drew is fully just accepting his manlineism.

[Terry Jo]

Yeah, my jawline fantasy.

[Drew Phillips]

And, like, oh, my God, you're literally gonna cut me off.

[Terry Jo]

Yeah, I'm gonna cut you off.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. Say what you're gonna say what you're gonna say.

[Terry Jo]

No, no, like, now you don't get it.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, no, I don't get to hear it. It's a secret.

[Terry Jo]

I mean, it. It was something very special. But since you want to attack me.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, no, please, please share your secret. Like, I don't know. Like, I. Now I feel bad because apparently it was such a big thing.

[Terry Jo]

Okay, I, I, I guess here it goes. I feel like one of these YouTubers.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, it can't be that serious. What are you gonna do? Like, what did you do?

[Terry Jo]

So, like, with the end of Pride month, everybody knows, like, yeah, I know LGBT vibes. My sexuality has been, like, a mystery for all this time, and I've been claiming straight and, like, it's just, like, whatever. I've been quote, unquote, straight baiting. But I just came on here to say that I am actually.

[Kai]

You're joking, right?

[Drew Phillips]

Who the is that?

[Kai]

Nobody who I am. Are you Joking?

[Terry Jo]

No, I'm. I'm being dead serious. Wait, who are you?

[Kai]

I don't. Don't worry about that. That's neither here nor there. I'm here to save your soul. You want to come out homosexual? Well, let me tell you this. That's a sin. And Jesus don't like that. And I don't like that. You shouldn't want it for yourself either.

[Drew Phillips]

This is so. Like, leave him alone.

[Kai]

Like, he finally rose dead. We don't have time for your stuff right now. I'm talking to the homosexual because you.

[Terry Jo]

Said, okay, what if I. What if I said I was joking? Like, what it. What if. What if that.

[Kai]

Okay, I'm hoping that it is a joke. Just jokes and stuff like that, because.

[Drew Phillips]

So he can't be gay, but he could joke about being gay. Like, I don't.

[Kai]

You sure can, because being gay is a joke. That's disgusting, actually.

[Terry Jo]

Facts. I agree with that. Like, okay, okay, okay, okay. Well, wait, but you're a woman, though. You're a woman, right?

[Drew Phillips]

And if he did, we're just sitting here saying the simple truths. He is gay, and you are.

[Kai]

In a wheelchair.

[Drew Phillips]

Did say, wait, I know you can stand up. I bet you can say, no, I can't stand up.

[Kai]

Did you stand up to your hairstylist when she styled your hair that way?

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, that's funny. Did you stand up to your mama when I made her squirt when I hit it from the back?

[Kai]

Well, that's you and my mama's business, not mine, sweetie, if y' all want to be.

[Drew Phillips]

You're not gonna save your mother because she's, like, gay.

[Kai]

She's Beyond Reach. She's £600. Anyway, so it's like, who cares? She'll be dead next week.

[Terry Jo]

Oh, no, I was lying. I was lying. I was just lying. Yeah, I was just joking the whole time. Like, I would. I would literally never participate in that lifestyle. That nasty, scary, disgusting lifestyle. Never.

[Drew Phillips]

That. That's funny, because I literally have texts from Drew. Wait, I think I have.

[Kai]

Pull up the receipts.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, he's told me about that. He's like, okay, if you're gonna bring.

[Terry Jo]

Up grindr again, I've been telling you that is a pastor's app. I do not use that.

[Kai]

I have a grinder, too.

[Terry Jo]

What are you doing there?

[Kai]

I pray for people who need it.

[Terry Jo]

Clearly.

[Drew Phillips]

He said, yo, can I tell you something? I said, if you say you're gay, I'm gonna kill myself. Like, for real. For real. First hour of 2023, and I will kill Myself. And he said, I literally kissed a boy and I liked it. I think I'm gay.

[Kai]

Oh, my God. I'm hoping that was a joke.

[Drew Phillips]

No, that was New Year's. His New Year's kiss was a boy, so he started.

[Kai]

You're bringing in the New Year with homosex.

[Drew Phillips]

That's not how you say that word.

[Kai]

But it definitely is.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay, well, homosexuality.

[Kai]

Homosexuality, Sexuality.

[Terry Jo]

Well, actually, I was lying the whole time. That was all a bit, like. I was just joking. I'm not gay. Never that.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, how did you get in here?

[Terry Jo]

Yeah, actually, how did you.

[Kai]

I've got ways. I hear homosexual.

[Drew Phillips]

I come.

[Kai]

I don't.

[Terry Jo]

Is that really what this is all about for you, is it's like a thing you get off on?

[Drew Phillips]

No, that's a good point. Because you probably. You are really obsessed with, like, the idea of gay dudes touching.

[Kai]

No, I'm obsessed with the fact that they're being blasphemous to my Bible and to my Christian God. That's not right.

[Terry Jo]

I actually agree with that. I'm. I've been saying for a while now that I'm going to start my Christian arc, so.

[Kai]

As you should.

[Terry Jo]

My religious Christian art.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, and keep that arc out your.

[Kai]

Back and start your Christian arc.

[Terry Jo]

Damn. Wow. Okay.

[Drew Phillips]

Did you get your boobs done or are those natural?

[Kai]

No, these are all natural.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Terry Jo]

See, that's what I want to see. This is what I like to see.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay, wait, so is that how you turn them out?

[Kai]

Well, that's another story. That's a little explicit. I can't really say that here.

[Terry Jo]

She is a Christian woman, but you.

[Drew Phillips]

Will pull your boobs out.

[Kai]

Well, God made boobs and I'm a woman, so.

[Terry Jo]

And I do like to suck boobs. I really do like to suck boobs and play with them and stuff. Oh, my God.

[Drew Phillips]

And you know what?

[Kai]

I'm happy for you and I'm glad for you because you're on here saying that it was a mystery about your sexuality. The mystery to me is why you decided that that shirt was cute. Or while you have your camera on, when you have a pimple on. But whatever.

[Terry Jo]

Are you talking about literally this single pimple?

[Drew Phillips]

You can barely see that you're just.

[Terry Jo]

How did you even know that was there?

[Kai]

No, I'm talking about the one on your ass crack.

[Drew Phillips]

Wait, why?

[Kai]

I can smell it from here. It's postulating.

[Terry Jo]

Oh, wait, no. You said leave. We said leave.

[Kai]

Okay, you know what? I'll do that. Yeah, as long as you're not A homosexual. And as long as you don't ever cut bangs.

[Terry Jo]

I actually think.

[Drew Phillips]

I think you have a lot to say about, like, people's looks. It's crazy. Yes, she is ugly. Yes, she probably stinks like mildew. Yes, she probably has a dirty, filthy house with a sink full of dishes. Yes, she probably had no.

[Terry Jo]

No swag, no money, no love. None of that.

[Drew Phillips]

Anything. Yeah, but don't stoop down to her level.

[Terry Jo]

That's true.

[Kai]

Which she said probably for all those things. None of those things were true.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well, I'm glad you clarified. So that's good. Yeah.

[Terry Jo]

The wonderful Terry Jo, everybody. Give it up.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. Well, thanks for coming in and harassing us. We needed that. We need more harassment in our lives.

[Kai]

Thanks for letting me come in and harass you.

[Terry Jo]

Of course.

[Drew Phillips]

But of course, what's funny is, like, I feel like usually when it comes to the gay stuff, I'm like, but. And you see how she took it too far.

[Terry Jo]

She took it too far. Even. Even. Even if I'm like, not that, you know, like.

[Drew Phillips]

And I don't think you are. You don't. Nothing about you is like that. Like.

[Terry Jo]

Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

But that's what I'm saying is like, you know how people are like, oh, like my thing with, like, whoa, you have nail polish on your nails.

[Terry Jo]

Yeah, but like, in like a. Cool. Like, I gave.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, in like an E boy. In an E boy, like.

[Terry Jo]

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[Drew Phillips]

But the thing is too, like, that's why I'm always like, oh, like, I don't. I really don't like gay stuff, but, like. But I can respect it. Like, just don't do it in my face. But then when I'm attacking someone like you with that, like, with that illness, I'm like, dude, that's like, up. Like, that's not something you.

[Terry Jo]

Illness.

[Drew Phillips]

You don't choose to be normal or gay. You just, like, end up that way.

[Terry Jo]

Normal. I think everything you just said is really wrong.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, if I'm wrong, I don't want to be.

[Terry Jo]

Want to be right. But. Okay. So I. I really want to clear the air first, though. I don't know why I look like this today. How do I turn on the filters? Do you know?

[Drew Phillips]

Because I want to make yourself look pretty.

[Terry Jo]

Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

I actually don't know. You seem like you would be an expert on putting on filters on your ugly face.

[Terry Jo]

You seem like you would be able to put filters on your ugly face. Is it in apps? No. Kai, do you know how to.

[Unnamed Guest]

I think you go into settings, preference.

[Drew Phillips]

I just don't know how to do that.

[Terry Jo]

Where settings go to Zoom.

[Unnamed Guest]

Are you on Windows?

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, I'm sweating. I'm sweating really crazy right now. Wow.

[Unnamed Guest]

Oh, I don't know where it's at on Windows, but just. It should be like $3.

[Drew Phillips]

Should be in your preferences.

[Unnamed Guest]

Yeah. And then go to.

[Drew Phillips]

I look like I'm in one of the Kylie genders photo booths at their birthday parties.

[Terry Jo]

Oh, wow. Yeah, you actually really do.

[Drew Phillips]

If you put me in black and white and then you put Kenny's 26th.

[Unnamed Guest]

Birthday, it's like, oh, it's touch up my appearance.

[Terry Jo]

Is it in the settings? How do I get to the settings on here?

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, my gosh. Never use a computer before. You must be really boring.

[Terry Jo]

Do you right click or do you click View Exit full screen, maybe?

[Drew Phillips]

Creep.

[Terry Jo]

I don't care. I don't care. But thank you, Kai. I don't. But I'm just gonna. I'm just gonna live my life.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, just live your life being ugly. I just have never had a filter on before.

[Unnamed Guest]

Wait, am I still in the call?

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, my God, Kai. Yes, you are, because we can't stop hearing you.

[Unnamed Guest]

Oh, okay.

[Drew Phillips]

Just kidding, bro.

[Unnamed Guest]

Let's go.

[Terry Jo]

My camera. Looking at myself. It looks like I'm looking to the camera.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay. Also, y' all, Kai's not dead or retired.

[Unnamed Guest]

I've been here the whole time.

[Drew Phillips]

He's been here the whole time, but he's doing as a man should do and being silent.

[Terry Jo]

Yes, you've seen that. That video of you is going viral. People are using it as an audio. Like the no man one.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, I saw that. And that one. And then there was another one where I was like, no matter what romantic relationship I'm in, like, you will just never be my girl.

[Terry Jo]

Stop. I saved that. I saved that on my phone because I was like that. That one is so fucking cute. And the one of me and you hugging is so fudgeing cute.

[Drew Phillips]

Wait, guys, clip this for a viral audio on Tick Tock. If you are sad, you should just fucking kill yourself because your life will not change because you have no motivation to make it better. So why do you just think it will suddenly be better?

[Terry Jo]

No, no, no, no. And you have dirty clothes all over your bed. Dirty clothes. Clean your dirty clothes.

[Drew Phillips]

Duster's playing in the background because you're.

[Terry Jo]

Oh, I like Duster. I like Duster. Hello? Like, oh, my God. Like, I've had enough. Hey, I do actually have something I want to talk about.

[Drew Phillips]

Okay, then do it.

[Terry Jo]

Y' all heard I Don't know if you've heard about this, but that submarine at the bottom of the ocean, you ever heard about that thing?

[Drew Phillips]

It's been down there for the Titanic.

[Terry Jo]

Three weeks now.

[Drew Phillips]

The Titanic or.

[Terry Jo]

Yeah, the one that went down to the bottom of the ocean to see the Titanic.

[Drew Phillips]

Wait, someone went in a submarine to go look at the Titanic?

[Terry Jo]

Yes.

[Drew Phillips]

I actually did watch a video of a guy who was supposed to go on it. And I was like, dude, we were so disconnected from the reality. We were meant to be, like, forking towards. Because he. This is after, like, I watched this.

[Terry Jo]

Video, the Dalley one.

[Drew Phillips]

The way he kept mentioning it, like, and remember, everyone died. Everyone is dead. I'm so grateful that wasn't me.

[Terry Jo]

I was dying laughing at that too, because I was like. And he was like. And I got his signature. Like, it's probably the last thing he signed before he died. Like, he's done. Like, he's dead.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, his family is sad footage of him on the planet.

[Terry Jo]

I actually have, like a very hot take on it. Like, everybody in the world is like, making fun of these people for going to the bottom of the ocean, girl. Like, they're dead and their families are sad. Like, stop making jokes.

[Unnamed Guest]

Like, dude, I was thinking that, like last night I was watching a video and it was like I was on tick tock and every single one was people making jokes. And I was like, yes, they're billionaires, but this is, this is kind of sad. They were crushed underwater.

[Terry Jo]

Dystopian level. Like, like, I wouldn't want them to do that about my family if they died. Girl. I know you have to have some to say. Say it.

[Drew Phillips]

I was gonna say that's literally how our dead family members feel about us. Wow. Where's that respect when it comes to me? I'd be like, oh, you my dead stinky. Like mom.

[Terry Jo]

Like my brother and grandpa and your mom are like threesome and having and doing squirt squad games.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, literally have respect for the dead. Like, really?

[Terry Jo]

Like, like, no, no room to talk. But no, I like. My take on it is I'm glad they died fast because everybody was like dying to know ourselves. I'm glad they died fast since you didn't finish that.

[Drew Phillips]

I just, I'm glad they died.

[Terry Jo]

No, like, I'm glad the billionaires died and killed over.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, I, like, obviously it is sad, but I think the jokes, it was such a good thing for comedy.

[Terry Jo]

Oh, it was such good low hanging fruit. Like.

[Drew Phillips]

It was the one time where, like, everybody was joking about the same Thing, and I had a hard time being annoyed. Oh, my God. Actually, I have a really funny thing because I was texting my friend about it, and I was like, oh, like, it's so annoying that everybody's talking about this stupid thing. Like, it's. It reminds me of on Twitter when everybody would rush to make the best viral tweet.

[Terry Jo]

It was Harambe 2.0. Like, it was the biggest, like, media news event for that entire week I think I've ever experienced in my life. Like, literally a list, celebrity status, like, news event. Like, everyone in the fucking world was talking about it. And, like, don't get me wrong, like, I did indulge in the content, and I was eating that shit up. But, like, the more I sat with it, the more I was like, wait, they're, like, dead. Like, this is kind of sad, but I was eating that shit up. And I was, like, close to making my own fucking videos and shit, but, like, glad I did it. Giving my take changed.

[Drew Phillips]

You're serving, like. Like, when men do shrooms and they're.

[Terry Jo]

Like, guys, I have empathy. I told my dad. I told my dad the other day. I was like, dad, like, you really need to do mushrooms so you can get empathy. Because, like, that's the only way men gain into empathy. But. And he didn't think it was funny at all. He was like. He was like, dude, I. Why would I do drugs? I would never do drugs. I was like, do you know who I am? Do you know who your son is? I am the drug lord. Hey. L O R D E the Drew Lord. I am Lord La la la.

[Drew Phillips]

My up joke about the submarine was I was like, damn. I really. I was texting a friend and I had sent an audio message where I was like, damn. I'm like, don't joke about this. But who would I in there? Because I would have to one last time.

[Terry Jo]

Oh, I know who I would.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, yeah, I know too, you know. You know, there is one person on there that I said smash to. And then that made me feel up. I was like, who. Who's on the submarine? And I literally went through, was like, smash. Pass, pass, pass. There was one other smash in there, and I won't give his picture or say who it is, but I just know he's an eater. And that's why, like, that was my thing is, like, I know he would, like, suck on my. Like, there's oxygen.

[Terry Jo]

Oh, I got, like, an oxygen nozzle. Oh, wow. No, this is crazy. This is crazy.

[Drew Phillips]

I just know, like, also, I know they're hungry. So, like, he would eat it up. They didn't bring enough for it to be down there all that time. Okay, that's it. That's my.

[Terry Jo]

The DB&J sandwich and the two cookies.

[Drew Phillips]

It's not filling.

[Terry Jo]

No. Okay. But no, genuinely, that is my take on it. Like, everybody's been dying to know what Drew Phillips's take on the submarines.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. There have been multiple viral tweets and tik Toks being like, guys.

[Terry Jo]

Yeah, I'm glad they died, period. Because they're billionaires and we. Okay. But the one problem I have with it. Genuinely, the one problem I have with it is I didn't get to eat the remains because it's giving. Eat the rich, baby. Like, where? Like, guy. Wait. Guy who thinks eat the rich means literally, physically eating them? Like, il.

[Drew Phillips]

Drew, stop. You explain that joke to me.

[Terry Jo]

I' ma fucking kill myself. I'm gonna do it tonight. I had a big bit planned. And the big bit. Wait, hold on. Let me come back. I have a big bit.

[Drew Phillips]

You're literally freaking out. Well, I actually have a question. Okay, here's what I said.

[Terry Jo]

I'm not answering it, so don't even ask it.

[Drew Phillips]

Fine. I guess Kai won't answer it. How about that?

[Unnamed Guest]

I'll answer it. Yeah.

[Terry Jo]

People don't need to see me in 4K. Sorry. Sorry.

[Drew Phillips]

Honestly, people don't need to be seen.

[Terry Jo]

Because I. I don't look like this, y' all. I really don't. Like, I swear I'm sexy. Like, I'm sexy like I was in the last episode. Like, I don't look like this. Please. How do I. How do I. I need to turn it on.

[Drew Phillips]

Hold on.

[Terry Jo]

Okay, keep going, though. Ask questions.

[Drew Phillips]

Would you trust me to be your lawyer? I'd fight for any reason. Unless the one thing I will not fight for is if it is my homeboy who cheated on his significant other, I will not be fighting for you. But if you are my home girl who cheated on your significant other, I will still be fighting for you.

[Terry Jo]

I go to the death for my homegirls. Like, girls deserve to cheat. Would I trust you as my lawyer? Yes.

[Drew Phillips]

But, like, that's the other thing. I feel like I'd be, like. Without, like, any.

[Terry Jo]

You'd lie for me? Like, you. You know the truth and you'd still lie for me and you'd. What is it, perjury? Like, what is it? Like, is that what it is? Like, you'd purge the whole Bible or whatever?

[Drew Phillips]

I don't know what the fuck that means.

[Terry Jo]

I think perjury is, like, lying in court.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, I. Oh, I'd lie anywhere. I would literally lie.

[Terry Jo]

That's my. That's what I think too. That's. I forgot what it was. But there was something I was talking about recently where I was just like. I don't fucking know. I was just talking about lying and how, like, really, like, do I actually care? Like, but about small things. I have to be very clear. Like, all the bits on here. Look how fucking monstrous this is. I got to stop looking at. How do I turn off my camera so I can't see myself because I like and looking at myself too much. This is always a fudgeing problem on these zoom episodes. Like, I look like literally ultra uber cracker right now. Like, I'm clear. My skin is clear.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. Why are you pale when you're, like, in Texas right now?

[Terry Jo]

I think it's this light. Maybe because Stephen put on this giant light. It's like, huge. Hold on, I'm gonna take a picture of it. It's ginormous. Let me put my hand up to it. But I mean, look how big this light is. It's like, ginormous. Like, it's insane. But anyways, I will insert a photo of it.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, I want to see it. Can you and, like, figure this situation out?

[Terry Jo]

You're not supposed to talk about that on the podcast. Dude, I can't just keep pretending and.

[Drew Phillips]

Taking care of her. Like, they'll have to take her back to la.

[Terry Jo]

Oh, my God. Give her to me. Give her to me.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, my God. Dude, I'm not doing this.

[Terry Jo]

I know.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm not doing this.

[Terry Jo]

Okay, fine. Like, what do you want from me?

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, my God. I actually haven't seen her in so long. She's gone huge.

[Terry Jo]

I know. It's been, what, three years? This is a three year old, right?

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God. I don't even remember what it was like to give birth to that thing, but keep it there. Leave it there. I don't want it still. I'm still like, not really.

[Terry Jo]

Don't. You really don't? Because I think she's, like, literally the most perfect baby ever.

[Drew Phillips]

No. And I told you before, we had another kid, I didn't want to have another kid and you forced me to have another kid and I don't want to be around it.

[Terry Jo]

She's so confused right now. She's like, wait, where are these people?

[Drew Phillips]

She literally is so cute. I'm not kidding.

[Terry Jo]

Make her smile. Hi, baby.

[Drew Phillips]

See, seeing her on camera almost makes Me want to, like, be a mother and take care of her again. But then I really think about it and I'm like, damn. I couldn't go, wow. I couldn't lie. I couldn't. I couldn't smoke. Like, those are all, like, crucial things to my lifestyle, and I just don't want a kid around to stop me.

[Terry Jo]

Like, I. I agree. And that's why I'm gonna pass her back to Meline and Stephen and they can keep the lie up. Okay. We put. We put 50 grand into your bank account.

[Drew Phillips]

I know. Is that not enough?

[Terry Jo]

Like, do you want a life or do you want 50 grand? Like, I'm so confused. Okay. Okay. Bye. Bye. Bye. How do you. How do you think they own this house? Think about that.

[Drew Phillips]

Also, I'm sorry.

[Terry Jo]

Like, little. Oh, he just said, I know.

[Drew Phillips]

Little. A little podcast that takes care of our kid. And it's little. Wow. The thing is, once they told me that my kid can't smoke for another three years, I was like, I'm not having this around me.

[Terry Jo]

No. Also, like, the fact that babies can't smoke joints is how, like, embarrassing.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, I know, like, pack your lungs. Pack your lungs. Get your lungs ready.

[Terry Jo]

That's what I've been saying is, like, literally, grow up, challenge. Like, that's the one thing, like, I'll hang out with her when she's three years old, four years old, whatever age.

[Drew Phillips]

Because then she can hold her own cigarette. That's the annoying part too, is you can hold the cigarette to the baby, but, like, you have to, like, sit there and, like, be, like, kind of pat their bath so they start breathing in.

[Terry Jo]

And, like, also the fact that she is a Pabst Blue Ribbon baby and not a Corona baby. I've, like, had enough. Like, how are you going to know it's already, too around me and not drink her? I don't know. It's. It's just.

[Unnamed Guest]

You're giving your baby alcohol.

[Terry Jo]

She's begging for it.

[Drew Phillips]

I know. And you're saying it like it's a problem. Like, I'm sorry, mister, like. Like, what are you going to do? Call the fucking police? Like, we're going to be our parents.

[Unnamed Guest]

That is a problem. Everyone knows you're not supposed to give babies.

[Terry Jo]

Okay, but she's crying all the time and she's, like, gesturing like she needs to drink something.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, yeah, that's exactly what me are, like, doing when we start, like, withdrawing from the alcohol. Like, we're like, giving me, give me, give me. And so when we saw her doing that oh, she needs a. A bottle. And that's why we need her to drink Corona and not Pops. Blue ribbon is. Because, like, that can is just not for babies. A bottle is for a baby.

[Terry Jo]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Guest]

No, that's not. That is not what you. I'm in the wrong.

[Drew Phillips]

Usually just put a balloon at the top of the Corona bottle. Like, we roll it down almost kind of like a condom, but it's like the balloon, and then we bite a tiny little tip into it, and then she can suck on the beer bottle. Like.

[Terry Jo]

Like it's a nipple. Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

Like. Yeah, like it's a boob.

[Unnamed Guest]

First of all, I've never.

[Terry Jo]

Would you rather know?

[Unnamed Guest]

I didn't even know you guys had this baby. Unki. Kai didn't know, so I've never even met the baby.

[Drew Phillips]

You're not. You're not our uncle, babes. You were not her uncle. We're not even her parents. You're not the uncle. Like.

[Terry Jo]

Guys, that was all jokes. I love my Luna girl so much. I. You know what's crazy is, like, I look at that baby, and I really think she's mine at some points where I'm just, like, I would die for her. And, like, I've never really felt that about another baby in my entire life. But for some reason, like, the oxytocin cams, like, work very heavily when I'm looking at her. Like, Baylor. Like, yeah, like, the boys. Yeah, I would take bullets for them. But, like, specifically Luna, I don't know what it is. I think it's because, like, maybe full blood or, like, Madeline is my twin. So something. Something is seriously different. And, like, I would protect that baby, like, with. With my life, like, genuinely, like, not even in a joking way. Like, I fudgeing love her so much, and, like, watching her grow has been so big for me, and I'm literally. I love her. I love it so much.

[Drew Phillips]

I don't have any baby in my life, so.

[Terry Jo]

Hello. I'm right here. I'm baby.

[Drew Phillips]

No. Babies literally freak me out. And, like. Yeah, but Luna is so cute. And that's the closest to a baby from someone my age that I know. And I still think that. I don't know. I'm still, like, in between where I'm like, I want kids, but maybe, like, I shouldn't ever do that.

[Terry Jo]

Yeah. Also, Madeline and Stephen, like, are literally such good parents that they make it almost look easy.

[Drew Phillips]

I know that would be trick. That's the trick. I feel like Luna is such a trick baby. And then Madeline and Stephen, even as A couple are a trick couple. Like, yeah, they are genuinely too good. I'm like, obviously. I'm like, something. There has to be to be something here. And I actually know what it is. It's Madeline lets me hit from time to time. So it's because.

[Terry Jo]

Okay, that's my sister, bro. You can't be banging my sister.

[Drew Phillips]

And y' all are twins. And let me tell you, the sex is the same.

[Terry Jo]

Okay, okay. So all of a sudden, you get to bang my sister, but when I bang Kai's sister and don't tell him and I tell you, you get on to me that it's a big problem.

[Drew Phillips]

Well, because that is a problem, and you need to tell him, and I guess that you've told him, but he doesn't seem that bothered. Well, you know what's funny is me and Madeline have been like this. Like, we've just been, like, inseparable. We've just been like this recently. Like, we're just like, so, yeah, y'.

[Terry Jo]

All are just like, like, interlock.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm like, oh, my God. We're like. We're like, like, like.

[Terry Jo]

That is actually so funny.

[Drew Phillips]

We're so close.

[Terry Jo]

That was like a banger. That was like, almost. That was as good, if not better than Big Parma. I still think that might be the best joke ever made on here, period. And not enough attention has been, like, drawn to that bit. But Big Parma, hold on. Yes, I have a bitcoin.

[Drew Phillips]

Something is deeply wrong with you. I think my best joke was a joke I made on the Patreon episode when I said that the first caveman who wrote Dick, they were probably, like, all tweaking. They were like, damn, you can sit on it, too. Like, like, once, like, the first few cave met who started doing, like, different positions, they were like, damn, you're literally innovating like crazy.

[Terry Jo]

Like, I saw something recently that was like, the first, like, human to have twins must have been like, what the is going on? Like, literally, what is going on? It's the same thing, like, with blow jobs.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, no. Yeah. The first one to give head was.

[Terry Jo]

Probably like, now, hold on.

[Drew Phillips]

Whoa. Or the first one to get head. The first one to give head was, like, literally brave because nobody else had done it before. And they had to have just been like, listen, I know it's kind of gross because you pissed out of there, but let me put my mouth on it.

[Terry Jo]

Trust.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm like, trust the process. Trust the process.

[Terry Jo]

This is going to change. Literally. No, this isn't even going to change our lives. This is going to change the lives of the human race. And that actually, quite literally might be the moment that. That humans transcended consciousness from caveman to, like, human hominid or whatever the we are.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, no, literally, because. Because that was like, the moment we genuinely started seeking simple, like, pleasures and, like, human connection.

[Terry Jo]

And what's crazy is a lot of people like to be like, oh, it was the mushrooms. Like, it was the Neanderthals taking mushrooms. Like, no, it was the first orgasm from a blow job. And then they spread it like wildfire. They were like, look, you gotta try this. And it was pre STDs, which, like, damn.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, they got to all just get ran through. But they were having babies, like, left and right. Because they probably just didn't know. Damn. Do you know how pissed I'd be?

[Terry Jo]

Like, every time you had sex, like.

[Drew Phillips]

To get pregnant from having sex? I would be like, I didn't know that was gonna happen. This is. And for the girl, I bet it wasn't even hitting like that. It was just like, okay, like, keep it pushing.

[Terry Jo]

Like, no, for real.

[Drew Phillips]

It was like, no vibrator, no fun. Like, no foreplay. Foreplay wasn't invented yet.

[Terry Jo]

Like, it was dead ass. 13 seconds. And he was like, you've seen that, like, video of the turtle, like, having sex and moaning. Yeah, that's literally what it was like. But in 13 seconds, okay, how did.

[Drew Phillips]

They come to the conclusion that vibrators were lit? Like, somebody had to have something sat on, something they weren't supposed to be sitting on.

[Terry Jo]

You see Xbox controller. You've seen the first one. You've seen the first, like, vibrator ever made. It looks like a torture device. I'm pretty sure. I'm not joking. Like, this isn't fact. This is all theory, but, like, I believe that, like, maybe they were inventing it as, like, a torture device and, like, they started torturing. No, I'm not a witch. I'm not a witch. I am.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm like, no, don't tie me down. Oh, they torture me.

[Unnamed Guest]

I love talking about sex with you guys.

[Terry Jo]

Hey, how do we kick this guy?

[Unnamed Guest]

You can't kick me.

[Terry Jo]

I'm telling you, bro, like, they're pretty crazy.

[Unnamed Guest]

How does it vibrate?

[Terry Jo]

Like, I think it's that little.

[Drew Phillips]

It's like a little like, like a jock hair gun.

[Unnamed Guest]

Oh, yeah.

[Terry Jo]

But y' all ever heard of.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, it was a medieval torture device.

[Unnamed Guest]

Girl, did you wind it up?

[Drew Phillips]

It looks like it plugs in a crime, girl.

[Terry Jo]

We need to get you one of those like, that would be actually hilarious. I bet you could find one on ebay. Look at all the. The attachments. Like, that's crazy.

[Drew Phillips]

That's what you put your espresso in before you, like, hook it up to.

[Terry Jo]

Your machine, pull the knot, and the different, like, attachments make the copy. Okay. We need to get you one of those, though, off ebay. I'm sure you can find one.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. You know how Marcus what's his name opened an unsealed iPhone to open an unsealed torture device?

[Terry Jo]

Did they have packaging back then?

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah.

[Terry Jo]

Such a trivial question. I don't. I don't know where that came from. Oh, Polar cub. Electric.

[Drew Phillips]

Damn. Imagine being the face of one of the first vibrators. Like, sign me up.

[Terry Jo]

She's so sick. That's historic. Really. Y' all ever heard of beekeeping age? Y' all know what that is?

[Unnamed Guest]

No.

[Terry Jo]

Yeah, we're all attracted to be or me. And then you are attracted to beekeeping age. It's like, you're old enough to, like, start keeping bees like you're you pasture. Like, you're in your real prime. Like, your 30s are your prime, but, like, your 40s are like, yeah, your.

[Drew Phillips]

30S are your, like, fun still being, like, silly. And your 40s, 50s are like, damn, you really hit. You are having sex like tomorrow's your last day.

[Terry Jo]

Yeah. Like, if, you know, doing, like, you.

[Drew Phillips]

Were going to hit, like, it is.

[Terry Jo]

Your last meal, because they very well could be. You could have a heart attack, like, for real. Wait, what did you just say? You said before that there was something that sparked the thought.

[Drew Phillips]

I said because your 30s are.

[Terry Jo]

Oh, yeah, men. Do you think the men now, like, me specifically, and, like, everybody taking selfies now. Do you think they're going to be taking selfies in their 30s and 40s? Like, and I really do think you.

[Drew Phillips]

Shouldn'T even be taking selfies in the first place.

[Terry Jo]

Well, I'm allowed to get that.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, yeah, because you're special in your own ways. I think so, because my dad be taking hella selfies. Like, but he takes them. Like, he'll. If he's with somebody, he'll take a picture with. Like, yeah, he loves taking, like, a picture with whoever he's with. But my dad isn't really sitting around like, like, taking a selfie because he's like, a man and knows how to build a house if he needed to.

[Terry Jo]

Your dad texted me that he was freaking out over a doppelganger y' all saw. And it's. It is the craziest doppelganger I have ever seen.

[Drew Phillips]

I know, it was crazy. The second we entered the restaurant, he was like, look at Drew. And I was like, what? But my dad. I've realized I get so much of my humor from my dad. My dad and me are literally these muppets. Wait, when we're hanging out, because I've been hanging out with my dad just in the city.

[Terry Jo]

Wait, hold on. Why is it not focusing? How do I make it focus?

[Drew Phillips]

You gotta push it forward. Because it's, like, focusing on you. No, you have to put your phone forward. Yeah. Oh, no, you cover your face.

[Unnamed Guest]

Just put the phone over your face.

[Terry Jo]

Do like this and your phone. Jesus, man. Oh.

[Drew Phillips]

It's literally insane.

[Terry Jo]

That's me in 10 years.

[Drew Phillips]

It was like, kind of freaking me out.

[Terry Jo]

Me and 10 years challenge. Like, look at that. You didn't. You can't even tell a difference, really. I mean, he's like a lot more mid than me. Like, he's not as bad.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, I will say you are sexier, which is like kind of up, because that's just a random man who's in a restaurant with me and my dad, and now we're talking about him on a. On a podcast where a bunch of people will watch. But he's a good looking man. Just not as good looking as you.

[Terry Jo]

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. I mean, if anybody looks even relatively like me, it's game over for the rest of the men. Because, like, it's hard to compete with this bone structure.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, it's hard to compete with one very mid white guy with another, like, kind of midwife guy.

[Terry Jo]

Yeah, exactly.

[Drew Phillips]

This is literally who my dad and me are, by the way. Like, when we're out in public, this is us.

[Terry Jo]

Like, that's awesome.

[Drew Phillips]

All we did.

[Terry Jo]

That's awesome.

[Drew Phillips]

The past three days.

[Terry Jo]

That's awesome.

[Drew Phillips]

Was go out and talk about the people we saw. Like, I'm not. I wish that was a joke.

[Terry Jo]

Like, chosa. Like, literally.

[Drew Phillips]

No, that's literally where I get it from, is like my dad being chismos as literally just pointing at people, laughing and, like, joking around. And also he's so funny because people obviously don't smoke cigars like that anywhere but Miami. And even in Miami, people don't, like, smoke. I. I just smoking cigars isn't really a thing anymore. But my dad will be walking down, like, Manhattan, like, walking around Manhattan puffing a fudgeing cigar. And it's so funny. And I asked him, I was like, I was like, do you, like, pay attention? Like, do you, like, See if anybody's looking at you for. And he's like, no, he doesn't get. Why would I do that?

[Terry Jo]

Muppets are having their renaissance right now. 1 and 2. I love being the age where, like, there's, like, a threshold that you cross, and I don't know exactly what ages it is, but, like, it starts slowly after you turn 18. And, like, by the time you're 25, you are considered, like, an adult in all of your family's eyes, even if you're the baby of the family. And now all me and my family do is talk shit about each other and, like, talk shit about, like, other people. And, like, I'm finally included in all of the conversations and being told all the things that, like, I wasn't allowed to know growing up. And it is such a fucking amazing thing, like, just being a part of, like, the family dramas and shit.

[Drew Phillips]

I know. It's literally the best thing to happen is, like, the fact that now that I'm older, I could just talk to my family about anything, which is also, like, obviously a blessing because I realized that that's, like, not that common. A lot of people our age aren't very close to their family, but I literally, like, will go out to drink with my mom or my dad or, like, go out to a restaurant or a cafe and, like, walk around with them, and we can literally talk for hours. And, yes, we will be talking shit about my other siblings, and I will be talking shit about one parent to the other and kiking and gossiping, but it's so crazy to be able to do that.

[Terry Jo]

Like, yeah, it's really. Actually sick.

[Drew Phillips]

Right?

[Terry Jo]

Hold on. I'm doing something.

[Unnamed Guest]

You guys have a ukulele I could use? Super random.

[Terry Jo]

Absolutely not.

[Drew Phillips]

Why the would you need a ukulele?

[Unnamed Guest]

I have to make an apology video.

[Drew Phillips]

Guys, honestly, hot take. The song was a bomb.

[Terry Jo]

Hey. Down. No, literally, my take.

[Drew Phillips]

She made the song of the summer, girl.

[Terry Jo]

Literally. No, my take is, like, obviously never that. Like, that is the worst thing you could ever, ever possibly do. Like, stupid, stupid, stupid, dumb. But kind of genius because all of us are completely ignoring everything she actually did, which, like, I don't really know the full scope of it. I've only seen the apology and what she apologized for, but everyone is ignoring that in talking about how terrible the apology was and how terrible the song was, but they're not really caring about, like, the contents of the apology, which I'm like, girl, like, something you did worked somehow. Because, like, but she's obviously, like, in, like, A very bad mental state because, like, why on earth I know why.

[Drew Phillips]

The did your grown ass do that? Like, that is so funny. Like, damn. Also, those kind of things freak me out because I'm like, you don't just like, record that and upload it. You record it, you sit on it, you edit it, you look at it, you try again. Like, that wasn't her first take. Like, she had to, like, ride it out, try it, like, do a whole thing. And she still pushed forward to doing it. But I'm probably going to also join you, Kai, for your apology ukulele song, because I have to apologize for begging your mama so hard that she squirted and propelled through the ceiling and broke all her bones.

[Terry Jo]

Yeah, it was like, really, really scary.

[Unnamed Guest]

Really? She went through the ceiling? She was ejected from the house.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. You know those, like, backpack jet things that you could take on the water and the water shoots down and, like, shoots you up.

[Unnamed Guest]

Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

She essentially did that with her own squirt and burst through the ceiling. And it was. I mean, the repairs are like fucking. It's going to cost me a fortune.

[Unnamed Guest]

Well, I'm glad that she squirted a lot. Honestly.

[Drew Phillips]

You look gross.

[Terry Jo]

I was just. I just like, tried the new Jeffree star palette, so I was just like, I was just playing around with some makeup.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, you're your Shane Dawson era, like, playing.

[Terry Jo]

Yeah, like, it's kind of.

[Drew Phillips]

Is that adding a beard to you too? Like, it's a beard and lipstick.

[Unnamed Guest]

Yeah, your beards going through the mic.

[Terry Jo]

Oh, we. That's literally so weird. What the heck? Hey.

[Drew Phillips]

Hi, everybody. Dude, sometimes you look like an animatronic.

[Terry Jo]

Oh, yes. That's what I want. That's what I want to play with.

[Drew Phillips]

How the do I stop this? Like, I literally.

[Terry Jo]

You're a bunny in your rabbit. You're a rabbit. And it's really scary, actually. Okay, so let's move on. Okay. I look.

[Drew Phillips]

Wait, I fixed it. So now. Now I really look like I'm in the Kindle gender, like, photo booth. Like.

[Terry Jo]

It'S giving to, like.

[Drew Phillips]

And it's when they always have a glass of like.

[Terry Jo]

It literally is that. That is literally it. That is so funny.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, somebody had to have just been on zoom playing around and then they were like, I know exactly what I need at my party.

[Terry Jo]

Yeah. Okay, well, first let's talk about that.

[Unnamed Guest]

Damn, that looks.

[Drew Phillips]

Have you been going to the gym?

[Unnamed Guest]

That looks crazy.

[Terry Jo]

Yeah, I've been doing a bunch of push ups. Not the gym. I was gonna get a 30 gym membership, but I was like, I don't have a car when I'm here, so I'm not gonna be able to actually go to the gym unless I go at, like, 7am So I decided against it. But what I did come to the conclusion is that. I mean, this is not a hot take at all, but, like, football is, like, gay. Like, really.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, someone got a little excited. Your voice cracked.

[Terry Jo]

I don't know. I just was possessed or some. I don't know. That was weird. I saw, like, red. I've been seeing red a lot recently. Like, I miss fighting.

[Drew Phillips]

You missed fighting?

[Terry Jo]

Yeah. I'm a fighter.

[Drew Phillips]

Why have you been watching football? Like, what?

[Terry Jo]

No, I just saw a clip of football and I was like, huh. This is like, we know this is gay. But then I, like, really thought about, like, how football is played and, you know, like, the hike. Like, right in the beginning when they, like, snap the ball to the quarterback and the.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, they all have their face in each other's butts.

[Terry Jo]

Yes. They're, like, topping each other. Like, it's. The quarterback is topping, like, the big, big, burly, hairy, sexy man. Like, it's so gay.

[Drew Phillips]

You might just be, like.

[Unnamed Guest]

You might be projecting to.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. You might be into, like, men.

[Terry Jo]

Absolutely not. But, yeah, that was kind of my take. But I still love basketball. Basketball is lit. Like, I love people.

[Drew Phillips]

You, like, being obsessed with basketball is actually the most insane thing to me. Like, it's like. Still doesn't make sense. And part of me thinks you're lying.

[Terry Jo]

No, no, it's very real. Like, I could tell you the top four, five draft picks from this NBA lottery pick. Spurs got Victor Wibanyama. Freak of nature. Like, literally, probably the next LeBron James are, like, very close to. Like, he won't be, like, as powerful as him, but he will revolutionize the game in a crazy way. Number two should have been Scoot Henderson, but it was Brandon Miller. Number three was Scoot Henderson. He played for G League. Ignite. He will be a generational talent. I'm giving, like, it's giving like Kyrie Irving. Not the same handles, but, like, the same trajectory of career. Maybe Dame. And four. What? This is actually really interesting, and I actually feel like you guys might be interested in this, but there was a pair of twins who went to. They didn't go to college. They didn't go to the G League. They went to this thing called do what? Okay.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, I said I'm all ears. Yeah.

[Terry Jo]

Okay. You were cutting out. But they're a pair of twins, and it's A men and a Sar Thompson, and they went four in five in the draft, which is crazy. And, like, they are so goddamn elite generational talents again. Like, really? Just, like. I don't know. I just. I love basketball because, like, I love seeing, like. What the is this? What is going on? So technical difficulty is over. Hello. But you know what I was thinking about? Valley girls give blow jobs for nouboutins. Head over heels.

[Drew Phillips]

That's not.

[Terry Jo]

That is literally one of the greatest lyrics I think I've ever heard. Like, really dissect it. Valley Girls.

[Drew Phillips]

Valley Girls give blow jobs for nose jobs, girl.

[Terry Jo]

What are you on about?

[Drew Phillips]

Is that not what it is?

[Terry Jo]

No, it's Iggy Azalea saying, valley Girls get blow jobs for Louis Vuittons. That's head over heels. No money, no family. 16. You sound like me right now.

[Drew Phillips]

I know.

[Terry Jo]

This is crazy. Valley girls give blow jobs for Louis Vuittons. Head over here.

[Drew Phillips]

What'd you call that? Oh, yeah. Head over heels. Oh, wow.

[Terry Jo]

Is that not insane? Like, really think about it and dissect that lyric. Okay, we're back again. What water is that?

[Drew Phillips]

It's pulling Springs, girl.

[Terry Jo]

I'm not joking. I thought Irish soap, whatever that iris soap is made water polar or what is it called? Irish Spring.

[Drew Phillips]

It's Irish Springs.

[Terry Jo]

Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

I was like, irish Springs is like a good ass soap. That's all we used as kids. Oh, what the.

[Unnamed Guest]

What was that?

[Drew Phillips]

Dude, mute yourself. What the. Do you have, like, a diaper on?

[Unnamed Guest]

Did he just. His pants.

[Terry Jo]

Oh, my God.

[Drew Phillips]

I don't know.

[Terry Jo]

My pants. I have a toilet.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh.

[Terry Jo]

I've been sitting here for a week.

[Drew Phillips]

Wait, what?

[Terry Jo]

Yeah, I shit through that hole and I pissed through this pipe.

[Unnamed Guest]

Are you serious?

[Terry Jo]

Yeah, I've been doing it the whole episode. But that one hurt for some reason.

[Unnamed Guest]

But look, you've just been sitting there with your dick inside of a hose this entire time.

[Terry Jo]

See?

[Drew Phillips]

Stop a dude. I never needed to see that in my fucking life.

[Terry Jo]

Yeah, so that's kind of what I've been on recently. I've actually sat here for three days in a row. That's like the longest I've gone. It's only been like eight hours. But are you wiping?

[Drew Phillips]

Where are you putting toilet paper? Are you just not wiping?

[Terry Jo]

No, I don't wipe it. It's really itchy and like, I need. I. What I do is if I do get up, like, I'll just scoot my ass on the carpet and there's like a bunch of brown stains. It probably won't focus, but there's like, a bunch of, like, a dog. Like, a bunch of brown stains over there. So I'm just kind of, like, figuring that out. I know.

[Unnamed Guest]

What do you mean, figuring that out?

[Drew Phillips]

That's.

[Unnamed Guest]

That's.

[Drew Phillips]

You can just, like, use toilet paper or go to the toilet.

[Terry Jo]

Yeah, and then get up and lose my games, bro. Like, I'm playing valorant and Diablo 2 and, like, League of Legends type. Like, you can't pause an online game, bro.

[Unnamed Guest]

Okay, so where does all the piss go? Like, is there some sort of a joke or something?

[Terry Jo]

Yeah, there's a big. Here, I'll pick it up, but I really don't want to spill it. Oh, it stinks.

[Unnamed Guest]

Okay. There's a huge bucket of piss. Got it.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, my God. It's like, piss, dude. I'm literally gonna call the police. You're creating a hazard for. Also our child lives there. Like, you're.

[Terry Jo]

Oh, now you want. Now you want her.

[Drew Phillips]

Chemical warfare. Well, I just don't want to go to jail.

[Terry Jo]

You're so stupid. Everything I do. Everything I do, you have a problem with. And I'm done. I'm tired. I'm fed up. You're sick to me. You're eating evil. You're a wick, and you're dangerous. I said, like, literally three weeks ago, bro. I've been sitting on it for, like, three days now. Like, Jesus Christ.

[Drew Phillips]

Dude. Something is actually wrong with you because I.

[Terry Jo]

In a bucket. Where did we. Where did we used to shoot when we were a caveman? In the woods.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, but you're not in the woods. You were in, like, a home with AC and you're sitting at a computer, and we are currently on a video chat. Like, we have gone far past shitting in the woods.

[Terry Jo]

Oh, would you rather do think we.

[Drew Phillips]

Yes, I actually genuinely do think that Porta Potties and shit. Like, that is inhumane, because I don't want to be in an area where it's collecting like that. And in my opinion, I think it would be better if we were just.

[Terry Jo]

Shitting in the dirt and, like, digging our own.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, why can't I just pop a squat? Like, why can I not just pop a squat wherever I am?

[Terry Jo]

Because your Cooter Bronson would be exposed to everyone. But that's an another conversation. Because why do we sexualize the human body so much that we can't just, like, do human things and be in our OG form? Could you imagine us running around like, I would be so cold if I didn't have clothes on. Like, literally, what did we do before that, did we, like. You know what I mean? Like, we evolved awfully in that.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, but I mean, like, we. We were just killing animals and using their fur, so we were, like, still lit, you know?

[Terry Jo]

Yeah, that's true. We were using. Yeah.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah.

[Terry Jo]

Okay, well, I want to talk about a couple more things. Have you seen the dude put Nair on his butthole on YouTube?

[Drew Phillips]

No. And did it burn?

[Terry Jo]

Okay, I'm gonna show you the video. Look up. Wait, let me look it up real quick. Nair. YouTube. It's the going to be the craziest thing, and I want to get your live reaction there. Let me find the video. I hope it's still up. Kevin. Kevin Leonardo. Where is. And both of y' all watch it at the same time. It's like, the first three seconds. It is potentially the craziest I've ever seen on YouTube. I mean, not even potentially. It is the craziest I've seen on YouTube ever.

[Drew Phillips]

Does he show his butt?

[Terry Jo]

Just watch.

[Drew Phillips]

Wait. Okay, wait. I'm still trying to find it. Okay. Removing butt hairs. Using there. A virtual guy. Okay, I'm gonna.

[Terry Jo]

No, don't mute yourself. Don't mute yourself. Unmute yourself. Unmute yourself for reference. This is how hairy my butthole is. And then spreads. This is how hairy my butt is right now. And girl, no, it gets even crazy. It gets even crazier. He lathers his ass in there and, like, puts it up his butthole a little bit, and it's like, rubbing his butthole in taint. Yeah. And then he wipes it off, like, with a paper towel.

[Drew Phillips]

And, like, I actually find, like, men's bodies, like, literally repulsive. Like, I shouldn't see that.

[Terry Jo]

Like, no. No one should.

[Unnamed Guest]

How did this happen?

[Terry Jo]

Educational, because you can watch people put condoms on. On YouTube. You can watch breastfeeding. Yeah, look up people putting condoms. Stephen was putting me on. He was like, you can see people breastfeeding. You can see boobies, which I. Yeah, but the breastfeeding one, women should be able to.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm sorry, but showing the W and what was left on the napkin, like, that was.

[Terry Jo]

That. That was too far.

[Unnamed Guest]

This is insane. I had no idea you could do this.

[Terry Jo]

Yeah, if you just frame it as educational. Look up people putting condoms on. Like, you can see people with an erect penis on different shapes and sizes putting condoms on.

[Unnamed Guest]

And it's, like, a thing way.

[Terry Jo]

Yes. I did not know this. And I think you can even watch, like, jerk off tutorials on YouTube. I could be tripping, but I think, like, it goes that deep.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, my God.

[Unnamed Guest]

Crazy.

[Terry Jo]

Is it the one with, like, a bunch of people? Like, it was 2018 when it was posted.

[Drew Phillips]

No, the one I just watched. Just. Ew, ew, ew. Dude, dicks are so nasty.

[Unnamed Guest]

I'm watching guys in front of, like, a pink screen with both.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, that's the one I was watching. I almost just showed it to the screen. That was really gross.

[Unnamed Guest]

That's insane. I. I don't know how I didn't know about.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, my God.

[Terry Jo]

I know. That's what I was saying. I was like, dude, if I was like, yeah, like, I would be all. I would have been all over this when I was 12 years old.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, you would be. You would be on your girls kissing girls.

[Terry Jo]

Exactly, exactly.

[Drew Phillips]

That was our version of that is like, girls kissing girls.

[Terry Jo]

But instead I was on my breastfeed. I was, like, watching breastfeeding videos and getting, like, so boned up to that. Like, I don't even want to talk about it. Like, bursting through my shorts type, like, y' all saw it. Y' all just saw it.

[Unnamed Guest]

I still.

[Drew Phillips]

You would have to have a bigger wiener for it to burst through your shorts. And I've just never seen that happen.

[Terry Jo]

Okay, seriously, girl. Well, you're a girl.

[Drew Phillips]

Sorry, hate to be the fact checker here, but that's just not true.

[Terry Jo]

Okay, let's. Let's get the. Let's get the news and the media straight. Like, this is a witch hunt out for me, saying I have a tiny penis. And, like, that's just not true. This is a witch hunt. The media lies. What is it? Media that.

[Drew Phillips]

The news and the media.

[Terry Jo]

The. But what? Donald Trump says chomp.

[Drew Phillips]

Fake news.

[Terry Jo]

Fake news. The news and the media. Okay, I got one more thing. I got one more thing to talk about, and then we can move on.

[Drew Phillips]

I was gonna transition it perfectly. I was gonna be, like, speaking of news and the media. Oh. But no, continue.

[Terry Jo]

I was gonna say we can either talk about. Because I have two notes because we have to record another episode, so I might. I have, like, 500 notes that are all bangers. But we can either talk about the manufactured Xi' an trip that is basically North Korea, or we can talk about Nikki Blonsky.

[Drew Phillips]

We've talked about Nikki Blonsky. I don't know much about the Xi' an thing. I just know that it is actually insane to end up on the propaganda Xi' an team. Like, there is no money in the world that makes. That makes sense. And I genuinely am. I don't know if they got paid like, in my head, they didn't get paid.

[Terry Jo]

I feel like they got paid bank because, like, why on earth one would you do that? They put a bunch of money into that thing to, like, fix their reputation. Like, I guarantee it was like a 50 to 60 million dollar, like, campaign. Like, not paying these influencers that much, but, like, hiring all these people and all these cameras and all these. The flights and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And, like, I bet they built that facility out to, like, I don't know. But do you know what we're talking about?

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Guest]

No. What happened?

[Terry Jo]

So these influencers got invited on a trip to she or for Sheen, which is, like, notoriously, like, destroying, like, fast fashion. Like, I'm just saying this for the people who might not know, but, like, they, like, notorious fast fashion, awful working conditions, like, really abusive towards their workers and don't pay them, like, for their work.

[Drew Phillips]

And mind you, it's a company that now, as of May, is evaluated at $66 billion.

[Terry Jo]

One of the biggest companies. Yeah, one of the biggest companies in the entire world. And they have been getting a lot of flack recently because someone did, like, a hit job documentary on them where they, like, went in there and showed the all, like, snuck cameras in the awful working conditions and like. Like, whatever. Like, there's proof of this, of them being terrible. Well, they hired a bunch of influencers and flew them out to China to show them that, like, look, like, that's. None of that was real. This is the real, like, Xi' an factory. And, like, the videos they showed, like, it was like those videos of North Korea where, like, they bring out tourists and, like, they're in that big office building and they're all. None of them are typing, but they're all sitting at their desk and none of them are working, but they, like, like, are faking. Like, there's office jobs in North Korea and just, like, faking like, there's like, a civilization there that's, like, not being, like, killed. Starved to death. And they did the same thing at Xi' an, where they, like, faked, like, the factories were nice. And, like, all of these influencers, like.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, it literally was just like, they were being used as props to, like, subdue. And they literally had one of the girls who got a bunch of backlash go back on Tick Tock and be like, I'm addressing the rumors. So they had her call all of them, see this insane dude. It was so funny. Like, I didn't watch her whole video because I was like, this is crazy. But I saw a really funny stitch where it was like somebody holding a paper being like. Because she. She literally was like, talking to the game. She's like, I'm here to address all the rumors about she and for instance, what their production issues. They don't have that. And they treat like she just kept looking off camera, like, at a sheet or something to, like, hit all her points. I was like, damn. Like, you couldn't even just remember three points and just, like, riff it. You had to just be like, so. Yeah, the problem is they don't have.

[Terry Jo]

I do.

[Drew Phillips]

They don't starve. They don't starve people. They don't.

[Terry Jo]

Yeah. For real. I wonder. Like, I feel like the people that, like, were tricked into, like, going to China, like, the influencers, like, I feel like they might have actually believed it in a way and, like, just not done their research. And like, obviously they're blinded by the check.

[Drew Phillips]

Like, also, even if they're not getting paid, I'm sure a lot of them, like, Because a lot of those, like, brand trips don't aren't paid, like, opportunities. What they are is, like, you're in exchange for full stay, full nice travel, being, like, accommodated, getting a per diem each day. So you basically get free travel for upwards of, like, usually three or four days to. In exchange for content. And I'm sure a lot of them were like, dude, in what world would I be able to not only go to China and explore China, but get flown their business class, dude, like, it. Be in, like, a gorgeous hotel and all these things. So I bet a bunch of them were like, oh, okay. Like, yeah, like, maybe I'm gonna delude myself into thinking that part of this is true because I want to be able to have that experience, but I'm like, girl, that would literally be like, somebody being like, hey, we'll get you, like, round trip to D.C. or wherever the Trump is living now and was like, we're gonna give you round trip, put you up in like a four Seasons. All you have to do is, like, film Trump and be like, guys, the rumors about him are not true. Like, isn't that killed?

[Terry Jo]

Dude, that's what Casey Neistat did for Hillary Clinton. Like, I'm pretty sure they paid him. Yeah, it was. I think it was. I think the number leaked. And like, I. This could be like, the most insane, like, over exaggeration in life. So take it with a grain of salt. But I do know he was paid for that, but I'm pretty sure it was like 200 grand to make that video on YouTube, like, by his, like, team by. Or by Hillary's team to make that, like, video on her. Which, like, honestly, like, I don't know. I don't know. There's. There's just a lot of moral gray area there. It's like, what if he actually did believe in her? And, like, I don't know, like, if I would take money to, like, promote, like, something, I believe in that heavily. But I mean, if it's 200 grand and it's sitting me in front of my face and I'm, like, wanting to, like, drop out, whatever I'm doing. Because he was in the era where he didn't want to work on YouTube anymore, I wonder if, like, he just was like, it, like, this isn't right.

[Drew Phillips]

It's also, like, definitely a hard line to walk, especially if you're somebody who has a family or wants to provide for your family. Like, I put me in the wrong position, and I'm like, I'm sorry. My family needs a house, and my dad needs to stop being a hard labor worker. Like, I'm gonna. I'm gonna take the truck, like, low key. If somebody paid me to post a video of Trump, I would, but it's because nobody would believe it. Like, it would be so funny. Like, if I posted a video for Trump with, like, a bunch of money behind me, not a single person who knows who I am would watch that video. Be like, damn, I can't believe she stands.

[Terry Jo]

Exactly.

[Drew Phillips]

They would be like, girl, this is so Donald Chong code.

[Terry Jo]

Yeah, get the bag. Like, that's how I feel about a lot of where I'm just, like, people I don't know. But, yeah, I just thought that, like, she and Trip was, like, hilarious and, like, people, like, bending the knee to the dollar is just.

[Drew Phillips]

Dude, it's just so funny to bend the knee to be a part of, like, extreme propaganda. Like, that's what I'm like, girl, you're not even bending the knee. Being like, yeah. Like, I don't love this perfume, but I'm gonna post it. Like, I'm being paid to post it. But, like, yeah, I don't, like, actually think this company is abusing children and their workers and, like, polluting.

[Terry Jo]

Exactly, exactly.

[Drew Phillips]

But I do want to add another stamp in my passport, so I'm gonna do it. Like, that is what's so funny, is, like, I just want to travel. I'm gonna become the face of propaganda.

[Terry Jo]

Yeah. For traveling. And she definitely did not foresee it becoming this big of a thing.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah. Not at All. Yeah. I mean, she definitely didn't foresee two of the most, like, top tier podcasters talking about.

[Terry Jo]

Exactly. Exactly. Hey, guys, I just wanted to say thank you. Because of you guys, we are a tier one podcast, which means we are at the top of the top of the top.

[Drew Phillips]

You want to be on top. Oh, also, before we end this episode, we should probably throw this in the beginning. Merch is out. Merch is out.

[Terry Jo]

Today.

[Drew Phillips]

Merch is out. As this episode is out. Thank you guys so much for supporting us for the past two years, which is terrifying. I don't think there's anything in my life I've done as consistently as this. And honestly, don't be surprised if you never see my face again. All right?

[Terry Jo]

Whoa.

[Unnamed Guest]

Did she just leave? Is she.

[Terry Jo]

I think so. I think so. But, yeah, merch is out. Love the designs. I think my favorite is obviously the hoodie. If I could wear the baby tee, I would. But then somewhere, something went terribly wrong. Or something, Somewhere went terribly wrong is my next favorite. And in your body, dude, that design period. It's something we've been sitting on since last merch drop. Actually, girl, I can see your eye. It's open. Also, your mic is, like, peeking, so you can't even hear the beeping. It's like. But also, before we go, Wait, wait, wait.

[Drew Phillips]

This is me. When your mom says that she's not going to let me hit anymore. I don't even know if it's going to hear it.

[Terry Jo]

I can't hear it.

[Unnamed Guest]

It's silent.

[Drew Phillips]

It's like. It's like a flat line.

[Terry Jo]

All right, okay. Before we do go. Before we do media, I'm gonna take a tab of lsd.

[Drew Phillips]

No, that's a tab of Listerine, because you've been sitting on a bucket for eight days and you haven't brushed your teeth.

[Terry Jo]

Oh, my God. Guys, I am 21 days today off the vape.

[Unnamed Guest]

Oh, that's impressive. Damn.

[Drew Phillips]

That is insane.

[Terry Jo]

This almost relapsed two nights ago.

[Drew Phillips]

My God.

[Terry Jo]

Begged my sister for one.

[Unnamed Guest]

Has it been hard to do? Really?

[Terry Jo]

It's been, like, really easy. Just because, like, my mom, like, I'm around my family, and the reason I quit was for my mother.

[Drew Phillips]

You want this? You want this? Come on.

[Terry Jo]

You want the. I know you missed the warm euphoric feeling of opiates. Like, come on.

[Drew Phillips]

I know you missed the warm, fuzzy feeling of getting a head rust. Come on.

[Terry Jo]

Yeah, no, it's. There were, like, moments, like, where I really wanted to buy one, where I was just like, should I Go buy one. But like, the only, the way I got through it was by saying, like, saying that out loud where I was just like, I want to go buy one. I'm going to go buy one. And then everybody being like, no, don't do it. And like, I think like, also I didn't replace it with anything else which I normally, like, replaced it with like Lacroix or something. But like, or like dick. Yeah, yeah. Or getting hit from the back. But no, it's been like pretty seamless. It's like a mind over matter thing. I have been picking at my fingers like a lot out of anxiety, but I feel like the nicotine is like about to completely leave my system here in the next like, couple days. Like 22 days, apparently is like when you break a habit and when like all the rest of like the residual, like, effects like, get out of your body. But yeah, pretty seamless.

[Unnamed Guest]

That's awesome, dude.

[Terry Jo]

If you can do it, do it.

[Unnamed Guest]

That's huge.

[Drew Phillips]

That is so awesome. Like, I'm so shocked by that. But what I will say is I'm just not somebody who stops my friends from doing what they want. So the fact. Oh, my God, it's raining.

[Terry Jo]

Oh, my God. It's literally. I would show you, but it shows the outside of their house. I'm sorry. Keep going.

[Drew Phillips]

I'm just not somebody who stops my friends from doing things. I give them pleasure and I would pleasure you.

[Terry Jo]

Yeah. Okay. That's actually it. We can replace my vape with.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, with me pleasuring you, Hoodie Tang. I'll give you something.

[Terry Jo]

Yeah, but except gas doesn't come out.

[Drew Phillips]

There will be a liquid. Sorry. Okay.

[Terry Jo]

But yeah, no, it's been, been awesome. I don't feel any different. So if you're gonna, if you're thinking about quitting, you're not gonna feel any different.

[Drew Phillips]

You're not gonna feel better.

[Terry Jo]

I, I quite literally, I'm not joking. I think my lungs are like, purging like the rest of like, the glycerin that's been sitting at the bottom of them forever. And like yesterday my lungs hurt. Like I had been hitting a puff bar all day long. Like, it was, it was, it was really interesting. But like today it feels better. But I like, can like, breathe. That is one thing actually is like, I can like, like get a full breath in without feeling like it's inflamed in my lungs. Yeah.

[Unnamed Guest]

You know what I feel like is good motivational for that is when we were in Mexico and your vape exploded and all the Juice came out.

[Terry Jo]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Guest]

I feel like that smell is, like, ingrained in my pineal gland.

[Terry Jo]

Yeah.

[Unnamed Guest]

And whenever I'm like, oh, I shouldn't be vaping, I'm like, yeah, I really.

[Terry Jo]

Should not smell that. You think of that smell again. Dude, that was awful. I like, for people who don't know, we all went to Mexico together. Y' all saw the episode. But I was like, asleep in the car on the way back from filming the podcast episode, and I had my vape in my hand and like, I was laying in the back seat and I guess, like the warmth of my hand or something, like overheated or activated or melted the juice inside of the flum flow and like it just oozed all of the juice out at once. Like it was all over my hands and arms and legs and like it had stained me from for like an hour and a half. And we tried washing my hands with water out of the window, but we were hitting trap. It was. It was a nightmare. And it was a grape flavored vape and it smelled rancid. It just smelled so sweet. Like, nauseously sweet. But yeah, we also have another story that we'll tell in the next episode of the Flight Home. We'll leave out a bunch of details, but that's.

[Unnamed Guest]

Yeah, I feel like we finally had enough time to process.

[Terry Jo]

Yeah, exactly. There's an event that happened that was so traumatizing that we literally did not speak about it to each other until like eight months later. And since then, we hadn't speak. Spoken to each other about it for like, another year and a half. Like, we talked about it for the first time in like a year and a half, three weeks ago. But awful, awful, awful energy.

[Unnamed Guest]

We'll save that for. For the next one.

[Terry Jo]

Yeah. But let's hit media.

[Drew Phillips]

Wow. I look so gorgeous when I yawn. Turn to Stone by Electric Light Orchestra I'm glad. By Captain Beefheart and his Magic band, Perfumed Garden, the Raw Band and practice twice. Sam. Precom.

[Terry Jo]

Precom.

[Drew Phillips]

Yeah, Precom in my butt.

[Terry Jo]

Okay. Mine is Builder by Fort Fortier.

[Drew Phillips]

What the is this? You're so annoying.

[Terry Jo]

And then he also has one called Violent Night.

[Drew Phillips]

Oh, my God. I've actually listened to this before. I've literally heard this before. But when I found it, it wasn't on Spotify yet. So I'm just cooler than you.

[Terry Jo]

I like. He says Popping minis. Oh, this is a beautiful song. But I added these songs to the emergency intercom playlist on Spotify that I created. But bad man by Glock 40 Spaz Parent Issues by Russian artist Flip that OMG by Ash Trakan Flip that, Flip that intro by Nano Ray Been getting back into Nano Ray heavily. Love Nano Ray. And we'll do Ice. Exclamation point by Lumiathena I haven't really watched any movies or television since being here. I've really just been, like, actually working all day, every day. Like, it's been, like, the most busy.

[Drew Phillips]

I've ever been a boss. You've been the boss while I'm out playing.

[Terry Jo]

Yeah, I've been been carrying this. What these muscles are all about, but.

[Drew Phillips]

How sweaty I get while I film. Like, it's actually crazy. Oh, my God. It smells like good. Oh, whoa.

[Terry Jo]

You went ahead. Can you send me that shirt?

[Drew Phillips]

I wore the shirt for our viewer soleil who goes to Harvard.

[Terry Jo]

Oh, yeah, Queen. Can you send that to me?

[Drew Phillips]

I can send you a picture of my butt spread open with Nair slathered all over it.

[Terry Jo]

Yes, yes. That is. That is even better. Wait, wait. This is a real request. One second. This is a real request. I do really badly want someone to send me their so. Oh, no, no. I'll send my soiled boxers to someone for $5,000.

[Ryan Seacrest]

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