Podcast
Enneagram and Marriage
Hosted by Christa Hardin, MA · EN
The Enneagram and Marriage Podcast, hosted by Christa Hardin, MA, is rooted in two decades of experience counseling and coaching couples. On top of her expert marriage advice, Christa uses the Enneagram to add another layer of understanding in how we work as individuals and gives us deeper insight into how we connect and shine together in marriage and relationships across the collective community.
64episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
How Your Type Processes Conflict (Attachment Series Finale) w/Jeff Cook, 1
Feb 2301:04:44Tap to summarizeIn this final episode of the attachment series, Christa sits down with another Enneagram expert, Jeff Cook, Enneagram Type 1, philosopher, former pastor, and co-host of the popular Around the Circle Enneagram podcast, as we talk about attachment and how couples can process conflict. We also talk about his new book Around the Circle: An Enneagram Book (June 2025). Unlike most Enneagram books that profile types individually, Jeff's book explores nine essential questions everyone faces (like "How do I solve my problems?") and answers them for all nine types, creating a richer, more nuanced understanding. Jeff brings a Christian philosophical lens to the Enneagram, reminding us of the fact that relationships are all we bring with us into eternity, so it's important to grow here as an individual, and we try to answer what it means to be our healthiest selves. They discuss the power of naming our motives, why the Enneagram isn't about "putting people in boxes," the Harmonic groups (Positive Outlook: 2, 7, 9 who reframe; Competency: 1, 3, 5 who problem-solve; Reactive: 4, 6, 8 who intensify emotions). Whether you're new to the Enneagram or a seasoned student, this conversation will deepen your understanding and help you see yourself and your spouse more clearly. Watch on YouTube! Important Show Notes from the Allender Center's Marriage Class Marriage class coming up! Get live teaching from The Allender Center 's prolific teachers Dan and Becky Allender across three dates, starting tomorrow (or watch over Zoom) and use the code enneagram30 to get $30 off the course here! Growing in Marriage: A Guided Journey with Dan & Becky Allender. Jeff's Exciting Around the Circle Materials! Get Jeff's book here! https://www.amazon.com/Around-Circle-Enneagram-Jeff-Cook/dp/B0FD46YT16 Listen to the Around the Circle pod here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/around-the-circle-an-enneagram-channel/id1466446583 Visit the entire Around the Circle crew on their website as well! www.AroundtheCircle.org Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! www.EnneagramandMarriage.com Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too here! Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! https://a.co/d/df8SxVx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcribe →What Secure Attachment Actually Looks Like (And What To Do to Get It!)
Feb 1800:31:17Tap to summarizeIn this episode, Christa breaks down one of the most hopeful concepts in attachment theory: earned secure attachment. You are NOT stuck with the attachment style you developed in childhood. Whether you're anxious, avoidant, or disorganized, you can actually rewire your brain and nervous system to respond differently in relationships. Christa dives into the six-step roadmap to earning secure attachment: awareness, nervous system regulation, repair work, practice in relationships, and consistency over time. She breaks down what this journey looks like for all nine Enneagram types, and shows you the path forward. Transformation is possible, and it starts with one choice at a time. Watch on YouTube! Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! www.EnneagramandMarriage.com Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too here! Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! https://a.co/d/df8SxVx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcribe →Don't Settle for Lonely: Relationships Your Soul Needs Now w/Alli Patterson, Type 8
Feb 1600:55:21Tap to summarizeIn this episode, Christa sits down with Alli Patterson, type 8 (8-1 pairing), teaching Pastor at Crossroads Church, author of Blueprint for Belonging and How to Stay Standing, and founder of the Ignite Conference to talk about the five types of relationships we all need to thrive: your core, circle, comrades, community, and crowd. Alli, who holds a seminary degree from Dallas Theological Seminary and just also released Spirit-Led Bible Study in February 2026 (this month!), breaks down how loneliness isn't about the quantity of relationships but the quality and variety of connection. Join us as we discuss how understanding these five relationship types can transform your marriage, friendships, and sense of belonging, and why so many of us are drowning in loneliness despite having more ways to connect than ever before. Christa also shares exciting updates and contests. Plus, we're giving away 5 copies of Alli's book Blueprint for Belonging. Follow Alli on social media Instagram account below (or on another social) and let us know at melody@enneagramandmarriage.com that you did for a chance to win one of them! This conversation is for anyone who's ever felt lonely in a crowded room or wondered if their relationships are truly satisfying their soul. Alli reminds us: your relationships are the key to a thriving life and healthy attachment, don't settle for lonely. Watch on YouTube! Follow Alli Patterson on Instagram and enter the contest for a copy of her book, Blueprint for Belonging, here! https://www.instagram.com/theallipatterson/ Find Alli's books, The Spirit Led Bible Study and Blueprint for Belonging here on her website! https://www.allipatterson.com/ Need mental health tips in this time? Sign up for the FREE EnneaSummit here! https://www.tylerzach.com/mh26/enneasummit?ref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tylerzach.com%2Fa%2F2148228842%2FLS2nNmzL The Enneagram and Marriage Coaching & Certification Masterclass course begins again February 12, use code COACH for discount here or at https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/the-e-m-coaching-masterclass Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! www.EnneagramandMarriage.com Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too here! Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! https://a.co/d/df8SxVx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcribe →Valentine's Special: Attachment Styles Meet Enneagram for Every Type ❤️
Feb 1100:28:07Tap to summarizeIn this episode, Christa continues the February series on Attachment Styles Meets Enneagram by walking through all nine types and exploring two critical questions: How do you attach well to yourself, and how do you attach well to your partner? She opens by acknowledging the need for God and self-regulation (and five fun Valentine's Dates!), and then we breaks down each type's unique attachment challenges and growth narratives together. Christa makes it clear that secure attachment starts internally, but you cannot give your partner what you haven't given yourself. Listen now! ❤️ We also give a final call for your chance to join the E + M Coaching Certification & Masterclass Course starting February 12th (last day for $250 off with code COACH). This episode is practical, compassionate, and grounded in the truth that real intimacy requires showing up fully, with God, with yourself, and with your spouse as we celebrate our love and marriage this month of love ❤️. Watch on YouTube! Need mental health tips in this time? Sign up for the FREE EnneaSummit here! https://www.tylerzach.com/mh26/enneasummit?ref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tylerzach.com%2Fa%2F2148228842%2FLS2nNmzL The Enneagram and Marriage Coaching & Certification Masterclass course begins again February 12, use code COACH for discount here or at https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/the-e-m-coaching-masterclass Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! www.EnneagramandMarriage.com Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too here! Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! https://a.co/d/df8SxVx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcribe →Holding Vigil: The Sacred Arts of Prayer and Presence in Marriage
Apr 9, 202500:17:37Tap to summarizeIn this heartfelt episode, discover the transformative power of "holding vigil" for your spouse through prayer and presence in a way that reallly costs, but also really gives, both to you and your spouse. Learn both general tips and how each Enneagram type uniquely supports their partner during difficult times and what challenges they face in staying present. Drawing from literary examples like Frodo and Sam, Atticus Finch and personal experiences, Christa explores how true empathy creates sacred space in marriage, and your faith journey, reflecting on Matthew 11:28. Perfect for couples seeking deeper connection through life's challenges. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcribe →When Both Partners Carry the Mental Load: A Better Share with Dr. Morgan Cutlip
Apr 7, 202500:48:35Tap to summarizeWho can get in a sexy state of mind when they're dealing with the triple threat of emotional load, cognitive load, and the physical demands of partnership and parenting, too. Mental load inequity is now recognized as the leading source of relationship tension through research, but what can we do about that when not one but both partners feel equally burdened? In this enlightening conversation, we answer just that with relationship psychologist Dr. Morgan Cutlip (Type 9), as we explore the principles from her BRAND NEW book on a long-awaited topic, an already #1 Christian Marriage early marriage bestselling book "A Better Share: How Couples Can Tackle the Mental Load for More Fun, Less Resentment, and Great Sex." Drawing from her expertise in relationship psychology and her peacemaker perspective, Dr. Cutlip offers practical strategies for mental load sharing that honor each partner's strengths and abilities realistically. Discover why traditional approaches to division of labor often fail, how to recognize invisible contributions and specific communication tools that prevent resentment. Whether you're struggling with household management, parenting responsibilities, or emotional labor imbalance, this episode provides a framework for creating harmony without sacrificing anyone's well-being. Learn how a better share of responsibilities can lead not just to more equitable partnerships, but also to more fun, less resentment, and yes—even better sex. Watch on YouTubewww.DrMorganCutlip.comIf you're listening on our E + M podcast release date of Monday, April 7th, you can also use this to get the pre-order bonuses! https://drmorgancutlip.com/bs-preorderGet the new book, A Better Share: How Couples Can Tackle the Mental Load for More Fun, Less Resentment, and Great Sex here! https://a.co/d/g7e3qKvFor more help discovering your relationship healing journey, visit www.EnneagramandMarriage.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcribe →Beyond the Box: When You Don't Fit Just One Enneagram Type
Apr 2, 202500:22:18Tap to summarizeWhen your personality seems to straddle multiple Enneagram types, it can feel confusing or even invalidating. In this illuminating episode, we explore what it means when you identify strongly with two or more Enneagram patterns, referencing insights from Dr. Dan Siegel's previous conversation on the show. Discover why this "multi-type resonance" isn't a flaw in the system but potentially a more nuanced understanding of your personality structure. Learn practical approaches to growth when you're navigating multiple type patterns, how to discern which pattern might be tripping you up in specific situations, and how the Enneagram's Law of Three and Law of Seven provide a framework for understanding these complex dynamics. Whether you're a coach working with clients who don't fit neatly into one type or someone personally struggling to find your type home, this episode offers clarity, validation, and a path forward for your Enneagram journey. Watch on YouTube Here!For more help discovering your relationship healing journey, visit www.EnneagramandMarriage.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcribe →Finding Grace in the Mess: Dana K. White on Home Management and Spiritual Freedom
Mar 31, 202500:42:26Tap to summarizeIs a clean house a spiritual obligation? In this liberating conversation, Dana K. White, author of the brand new book, "Jesus Doesn't Care About Your Messy House," challenges the shame and spiritual baggage many attach to home management. This book is for you, if no matter how competent you feel in other parts of your life, you still feel overwhelmed and defeated by your messy home. While it’s true that keeping a clean and organized living space can contribute to a sense of peace and well-being, it should never be equated with your worth, moral standing, or what Jesus thinks about you.With her characteristic honesty and practical wisdom, Dana reveals how our homes often become measuring sticks for our spiritual worth—and why this connection is both damaging and unbiblical. Drawing on her own journey from drowning in clutter to finding sustainable systems, Dana shares insights particularly helpful for those with creative personalities who may get scattered as well as analytical, information-gathering tendencies similar to Enneagram Type 5 traits. Discover why "how you're made" is different from "just the way you are," how to create systems that work with your natural tendencies rather than against them, and why "technically helping" differs from "actually helping" your household. This conversation offers both practical home management strategies and spiritual freedom for anyone who has ever felt judged—by others or themselves—for the state of their home.Find Dana's book here: https://a.co/d/auuIYEIFind Dana on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aslobcomescleanFind Dana's website here: https://www.aslobcomesclean.com/Visit www.EnneagramandMarriage.com for more relationship resources! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcribe →When Anxiety Takes the Wheel: Understanding Your Type's Relationship with Fear
Mar 26, 202500:12:41Tap to summarizeHow does your Enneagram type influence your experience of anxiety? In this insightful episode, we explore the unique ways each type encounters, processes, and responds to fear. Discover why Head types (5,6,7) intellectualize anxiety, Heart types (2,3,4) emotionalize it, and Body types (8,9,1) somaticize it—creating entirely different anxiety experiences. Learn how your type's core fears amplify specific anxieties and the unconscious strategies you've developed to manage them. Through compassionate exploration and practical tools, this episode offers a personalized approach to understanding your relationship with anxiety. Whether you're seeking to support a partner through anxious moments or develop greater self-awareness, these type-specific insights provide a roadmap for transforming your relationship with fear. With concrete practices for each type, this episode empowers you to recognize anxiety's early signals and respond with presence rather than reactivity.Find more at www.EnneagramandMarriage.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcribe →Addiction in Relationships: How We All Heal Together w/Best-Selling Author Ian Cron, 4
Mar 24, 202500:46:14Tap to summarizeIn this compelling conversation, bestselling author Ian Cron discusses his new book "The Fix," revealing how addiction in its many forms affects us all. Ian moves beyond stereotypical views of addiction to show how everyone struggles with attachments that promise fulfillment but ultimately leave us empty. With wisdom and compassion, he explains how isolation fuels our addictive cycles, while genuine community creates the environment for healing. Ian shares practical wisdom about how the steps of recovery offer a universal path toward grace and growth, regardless of what form our struggles take. This conversation offers hope for anyone feeling stuck in patterns they can't seem to break, illuminating how vulnerability and connection provide the foundation for lasting transformation. Watch the full interview on YouTubeResources mentioned in this episode:Ian's website: www.IanMorganCron.comTypology podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/typology/id1254061093Typology Enneagram assessment: https://typologyinstitute.com/assessment"The Fix" on Amazon: https://a.co/d/e2nWVsvVisit Ian and Typology on InstagramFor more great episodes and relationship help, visit www.EnneagramandMarriage.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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