Escape Pod 1044: Rhona's Tavern and Spacetime Portal

Summary

Escape Pod 1044: Rhona's Tavern and Spacetime Portal

Podcast: Escape Pod
Host: Escape Artists Foundation (Alastair)
Date: May 7, 2026
Story by: S.L. Myers
Narrator: Dani Daly

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Overview

This episode of Escape Pod features “Rhona’s Tavern and Spacetime Portal” by S.L. Myers—a smart, fast-paced, and darkly witty science fiction adventure. The story unfolds in a timeless, weaponized tavern on a frozen asteroid, where a hardbitten crew of time scavengers gathers under the wary eye of Rhona, the unflappable barkeep and architect of “constants.” Through dizzying temporal loops, abrupt annihilations, and philosophical banter, the episode explores the perilous task of maintaining the integrity of time itself—and the heavy cost of being the one fixed point in a universe splintering under infinite timelines.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting the Scene: The Tavern at the Edge of Time

• Atmosphere:
  • An old English-style tavern insulated from the chaos of infinite timelines, sitting alone on a snowy, carbonaceous asteroid (02:50).
  • Weapons systems, temporal technology, and plasma fires blend nostalgia with advanced sci-fi tech.
• Entrance:
  • Hamish (an ancient, purple-suited time scavenger) and Nummi (a weaponized Deinonychus raptor) arrive and undergo security protocols before entering (02:50–05:00).

2. Meet the Team: Cast of Characters

• Rhona:
  • Unflappable bar owner, time engineer, and keeper of the constants; graying, tough, and weary of time’s physical and moral toll (08:48).
• Hamish Spacer:
  • Old, well-armed “phlogistics guy”—a resourceful fixer from any dimension; both paternal and rakishly inappropriate at times (06:51, 12:56).
• Nummi:
  • Feathered proto-raptor, muscle and sensor of the team, laconic but fiercely bonded to the crew (07:21).
• Brains:
  • A perpetually boyish genius with a cybernetic, visible brain; handles probability, temporal navigation, entropy calculations (13:31, 24:21).
• Lottie:
  • The “constant”—a singular, irreplaceable being sourced from 19th-century London, struggling to adapt (11:04, 19:38).

3. Temporal Hijinks and Paradoxes

• Banter and Exposition:
  • The conversation blends mundane bar chatter with deep temporal mechanics—references to "temporal voids", "quantum membrane integrity," and assassination by doppelganger teams (05:44–07:21, 14:41).
• Looping Deaths:
  • The narrative repeatedly incinerates the entire cast by various glitches and attacks, only for them to reappear, highlighting the peril and absurdity of their work (14:38, 18:23, 20:05, 24:21).
• Constants:
  • Constants are unique entities necessary to survive timeline jumps; creating them requires eliminating all their time-doppelgangers—a dark procedural note (13:00–13:35, 22:19–24:21).
• Lottie’s Value:
  • Her rare singularity makes her both essential and a target for temporal assassins; the emotional and ethical sacrifice is underscored (13:00–13:35, 24:56).

4. Moral and Emotional Underpinnings

• Casualties of Time Work:
  • Rhona’s cold calculus in “pruning” constants evokes horror and regret, explored through sharp dialogue and recurring references to how brief and dangerous their existence is (13:08, 24:56).
• Lottie’s Journey:
  • Transition from shyly serving drinks to donning liquid mercury combat suits—her accelerated adaptation is both heroic and tragic (19:37, 27:09–28:38).

5. Resolution and New Beginnings

• Temporal Leak:
  • The crew must fix a rupture in the fabric of time, relying on a newly invented (or reverse-engineered) “zero probability tokamak”—a perfect, indestructible homing device (28:45–29:23).
• Finale:
  • As the team assembles for another dangerous jump, it’s Lottie who ultimately saves them, fighting off waves of attackers with advanced weaponry, before stepping through the portal herself (30:10–32:18)
• Legacy:
  • The story ends on the image of Lottie’s Tavern, suggesting the cycle continues but with a new constant at its heart (32:18).

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Noteworthy Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Hamish’s Wry Greeting
  • “An old man and a dinosaur walk into a bar...” (05:08)
• Rhona, enforcing boundaries:
  • “She’s a tenth of your age, old man, and if you so much as touch her or make her feel uncomfortable in any way, I’ll break your arm in a time and place you’ll never see coming, and it’ll stay broke.” (12:03)
• On Constants:
  • “How many temporal lines?” “All of them.” “Plank sweaty balls. That must have been a massacre.” (13:00–13:08)
• Brains, on their task:
  • “So far, no evidence of time splintering.” (25:46)
• Rhona’s dry humor:
  • “I have idiot issues.” (18:23)
• Brains, on the zero probability tokamak:
  • “It’s a perfect homing device because it doesn’t exist. It’s made from negative reality, held together by artificial time. Can’t be altered, duplicated, or destroyed. And it always returns here.” (29:03)
• Alastair’s Reflection (Host Commentary):
  • “There is the damnation that Rona inflicts on Lottie and so many other constants, cheerfully pruning them out of existence to power their enterprise. There is the social damnation of being eternal retail staff, the cheerful barmaid at the end of every universe. And there is the damnation of certainty, of knowing where your story goes, of where your story ends, of hearing it echo every time you wake up.” (32:18)

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Key Timestamps

• 02:50: Story proper begins: snowy woods, neon sign—introduction to the tavern.
• 05:08–05:44: “An old man and a dinosaur walk into a bar”—crew’s arrival and banter.
• 11:04–13:03: Lottie introduced as a constant; what makes her special.
• 14:38–14:41: Glitch sequence: exponential Brains, mass annihilation, temporal resets.
• 18:23: “I have idiot issues.”—Rhona’s sardonic humor amid chaos.
• 22:19–24:21: Lottie’s full induction as the new constant; team introductions.
• 24:56: “Unfortunately, a constant burns brighter than anything in the time streams while they last.”—price of being the constant.
• 28:38–29:23: Discovery and explanation of the zero probability tokamak; invention paradox.
• 30:00–32:18: Final jump, firefight, Lottie left alone in the tavern before joining her team.
• 32:18: Host Alastair’s commentary—exploring the themes of damnation, cycles, and hope within time travel.

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Overall Tone and Style

• Language: Sharp, irreverent, packed with sci-fi jargon and gallows humor.
• Tone: Balances existential dread and comic banter; blends the ethos of heist, horror, and dark comedy.
• Pace: Rapid-fire, with hard cuts between reality resets and speculative explanations; expects the listener to keep up.

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Concluding Reflection (Host, Alastair)

• Draws parallels with Doctor Who and other time travel stories, noting both the horror and hope in S.L. Myers’ vision.
• Emphasizes the endless cycle of consequence, the burden of singularity, and the inevitability of change.
• “You can check out, you can leave, but sometimes you end up owning the bar.” (32:18)

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This episode is an ingenious, genre-bending time caper with heart—and jagged edges. Even as annihilation resets everything again and again, the story circles around the price of being the unmoving point in a universe determined to fracture. It’s a rollicking, brainy, and ultimately human addition to the Escape Pod canon.

Transcript

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[Narrator/Story Reader]

Escape pod episode 1044 rona's tavern and space time portal by s.l. myers.

[Escape Pod Host (Alastair)]

Foreign. Welcome to Escape Pod, the science fiction podcast. I'm Alastair, your host, and this week's story comes to us from SL Myers. SL Is a former US Air Force Russian linguist. After tours in Japan, Germany and Riyadh, she left the service to raise four children and to accompany her spouse to US embassies in Kyrgyzstan and Russia. She currently calls Alexandria, Virginia home, and her debut novel, Children of Cain, won first place in the 2023 Writer's Digest Self Published Ebook Awards Fantasy Genre category. Your narrator for this one is Dani Daly. Dani is a jack of many trades, a master of none, but seeing as she loves the rogue life, that's okay with her. You can hear stories that she's narrated all over the Escape Artists Network, Starship Sofa, Glittership, and Asimov's Science Fiction Podcast. We'll have her social media links in the show notes for you too. Summer Brooks is running audio for you this week, and I'm Alastair, your intrepid host. So charge your glasses and perhaps your blasters because it's story time.

[Narrator/Story Reader]

Rona's Tavern and Space time portal by S.L. myers, read by Danny Daly. The two Boone companions walked through the snowy woods along the cobblestoned road, the night lit by hissing gas lamp posts. Ahead, just seen through the scarecrow trees, a neon sign glowed bright green. Rona's Tavern, the modest two story brick establishment was the only structure on the icy tumbling carbonaceous asteroid. Trapped in the bubble of frozen time, the two were deep in a conversation very few in any time or place would have been able to understand, talking over and with each other in a mix of common tongue circa 5345 new era and in the woofs, squeaks, and chirps of the Deinonychus circa early Cretaceous period. The man and proto raptor turned off the road and followed the narrow, winding path leading to the tavern. They stopped on the stone landing near the oak and wrought iron door with its leaded glass and waited for the defense systems to finish their scans. A click, the heavy door swung out and the two friends stepped in, blasters raised, ready for anything. Everything. The interior was a replica of an old English pub, from the oaken beer casks to the worn floorboards and sturdy but mismatched tables and chairs in the corner. A fusion cast iron stove silently powered the weapons systems and temporal installations. A hearth large enough for five people to stand in was prominent in the center of the main wall. Its plasma fire popped and hissed, the flames invisible but throwing a cheery light. The woman standing behind the long bar of polished mahogany had a pulse rifle aimed at their heads, and after a few tense seconds she relaxed and laid the hefty weapon on the gleaming counter.

[Character Dialogue (Hamish, Rona, Brains, Nummi, Lottie)]

An old man and a dinosaur walk

[Narrator/Story Reader]

into a bar, the old man said, flashing a wide smile while holstering his weapons, the feathered raptor doing the same.

[Character Dialogue (Hamish, Rona, Brains, Nummi, Lottie)]

Let me know if you've heard this one.

[Narrator/Story Reader]

Rona, Hamish. I've heard them all. Rona pressed a button and reset the gluttonous amount of firepower aimed at the door both inside and out. She came around the bar, wiping her hands on her static apron. Any problems finding the time and place

[Character Dialogue (Hamish, Rona, Brains, Nummi, Lottie)]

right where you said Hamish said?

[Narrator/Story Reader]

The protocols?

[Character Dialogue (Hamish, Rona, Brains, Nummi, Lottie)]

She asked to the fractal. What's the issue?

[Narrator/Story Reader]

A temporal void was detected several dimensions over. It'll need checking out.

[Character Dialogue (Hamish, Rona, Brains, Nummi, Lottie)]

Easy peasy. A hop, skip, and a jump.

[Narrator/Story Reader]

Let's hope Rhona gave the old man the once over. His dark face was angles of polished mahogany and his hair a wiry white corona that stood straight up from his trim head. He wore a skin tight, violently purple bodysuit and cowboy boots of elephant hide stolen from some barbaric age. Dual custom made biometric blasters hung from his narrow hips. He was even more gaunt than when she'd last seen him, but despite his extreme age, he moved with the ease and agility of a young man. Not for the first time, she wondered what held Hamish Spacer together and how much it cost. How are you, Haim? She finally asked.

[Character Dialogue (Hamish, Rona, Brains, Nummi, Lottie)]

Older and richer.

[Narrator/Story Reader]

He leaned in and gave her a dry peck.

[Character Dialogue (Hamish, Rona, Brains, Nummi, Lottie)]

You look bone tired, Rona.

[Narrator/Story Reader]

You should get out more.

[Character Dialogue (Hamish, Rona, Brains, Nummi, Lottie)]

Visit a beach or something. Get fucked.

[Narrator/Story Reader]

I get out plenty, she said testily. And watch your mouth. Haim glanced around the plasma fire lit tavern.

[Character Dialogue (Hamish, Rona, Brains, Nummi, Lottie)]

I like the new place. Quaint. How's business?

[Narrator/Story Reader]

The same. Always some gazillionaire needing a new life. She turned to the proto raptor. The smallish female was covered with dark iridescent feathers except for the pointy face bristling with 70 pointy teeth. The dinosaur had extensive weaponry and shielding strapped everywhere and a speech assister at her throat. Still working with this grifter new me? Rona asked. He's still paying me, the little dinosaur rasped. Rona knew the two couldn't be separated for all the money and all the universes. She went behind the bar and glanced at the screens. Where the hell's his brains?

[Character Dialogue (Hamish, Rona, Brains, Nummi, Lottie)]

He'll be here.

[Narrator/Story Reader]

Hamish pulled out a stool while the raptor kicked aside two others and stood in their place, perching a bony elbow on the counter. What can I get you to? Rona asked.

[Character Dialogue (Hamish, Rona, Brains, Nummi, Lottie)]

Old Crow Bourbon neat, said the old man. The 3,000 year old bottle, if you still have it.

[Narrator/Story Reader]

Not to worry, Nummi, Corelli, and Schittsky for me. Rona leaned close to the little raptor and looked into her nictitating eyes. Why do you always order the whiskey if you don't like it?

[Character Dialogue (Hamish, Rona, Brains, Nummi, Lottie)]

Maybe she just likes the taste of shit, hame said.

[Narrator/Story Reader]

He and Numi laughed at some private joke, the raptor's little nostrils flaring. Rona rolled her eyes and turned to the heavily bottled shelves, catching her reflection in the bar's mottled mirror. A rumpled and careworn alewife, graying hair caught in a scarf, a static apron tied around a middle made thicker from various killing devices. Haim was right. She looked tired. More concerning. She looked older, a stir of worry in her stomach. How much time had objectively passed since they'd last seen each other? She brushed off the thought as she took down a dusty squat bottle and poured several fingers into a rocks glass, sliding it over to Hamish. Brains is now officially late.

[Character Dialogue (Hamish, Rona, Brains, Nummi, Lottie)]

He's always late.

[Narrator/Story Reader]

Hamish took a deep swallow of the bourbon and wiped his lips delicately with his fingertips. Since when? Rona poured out a fiery liquid into a reinforced glass.

[Character Dialogue (Hamish, Rona, Brains, Nummi, Lottie)]

Since always, the old man said. What's the problem?

[Narrator/Story Reader]

Your memory, that's what. He's never late. She gave him a side glance as she placed the unstable alcohol in front of the feathered theropod the curtain behind the bar twitched open, revealing several racks of humming machinery. A slender young woman came through with a tray of sandwiches. Her strawberry blonde hair was braided around a pretty head. She wore a simple white blouse with long woolen skirts tucked into her apron ties on one side. Put the tray on the counter, Lottie, rona said before the girl could bolt. The young woman stepped warily forward, her eyes fixed on the raptor. She set the tray at the counter's edge and darted away, the curtains swinging. Fresh, he murmured to Numi, who nodded agreeably, although she likely had a different idea of fresh.

[Character Dialogue (Hamish, Rona, Brains, Nummi, Lottie)]

Who's the sweetie pie?

[Narrator/Story Reader]

He asked Rona. Rona looked sharply at him. Our newest constant arrived a few days ago.

[Character Dialogue (Hamish, Rona, Brains, Nummi, Lottie)]

She doesn't look local, hame said. Where'd you find her?

[Narrator/Story Reader]

Early 19th century London. A barmaid in a public house.

[Character Dialogue (Hamish, Rona, Brains, Nummi, Lottie)]

Faraday's farts, Rhona. Our constants get more primitive with each iteration. I know you like to train them from the ground up, but this girl's never even seen a light bulb.

[Narrator/Story Reader]

They're being eliminated too quickly. Thought I'd go back a bit further. She let out a long sigh as she rubbed an aching temple. But acclimating her is proving a challenge. Hamish's ancient face took on a clever look as he shifted forward on the stool.

[Character Dialogue (Hamish, Rona, Brains, Nummi, Lottie)]

I could take her under my wing. Train her up with the sensitivity of an older, more experienced Rona dropped her

[Narrator/Story Reader]

reinforced hand on his arm, the fingers of iridium alloy digging into his ropy forearm, and leaned close. She's a tenth of your age, old man, and if you so much as touch her or make her feel uncomfortable in any way, I'll break your arm in a time and place you'll never see coming, and it'll stay broke. She squeezed the arm, her eyes never leaving his. Do you understand? He made a play at a smile.

[Character Dialogue (Hamish, Rona, Brains, Nummi, Lottie)]

You know me, Rona. It was just talk. It's not like she'll be around long anyway. Not worth the investment in time.

[Narrator/Story Reader]

Rona slowly released his arm. Haim maintained eye contact for another moment and then pulled his arm close, massaging it.

[Character Dialogue (Hamish, Rona, Brains, Nummi, Lottie)]

What's so special about this one, anyway?

[Narrator/Story Reader]

She was costly.

[Character Dialogue (Hamish, Rona, Brains, Nummi, Lottie)]

How many temporal lines?

[Narrator/Story Reader]

All of them.

[Character Dialogue (Hamish, Rona, Brains, Nummi, Lottie)]

Plank Sweaty balls. That must have been a massacre.

[Narrator/Story Reader]

Haim looked over the sandwiches on the tray and picked one up. He next spoke around a mouthful of bacon, lettuce, and tomato.

[Character Dialogue (Hamish, Rona, Brains, Nummi, Lottie)]

She'll be a powerhouse while she lasts. Does she know?

[Narrator/Story Reader]

Of course not. It's enough right now for her to deal with being in a different time stream.

[Character Dialogue (Hamish, Rona, Brains, Nummi, Lottie)]

What if we have to jump, she'll go.

[Narrator/Story Reader]

Not ideal, but. Rhona popped straight eyes on the monitors, the pulse rifle in her hands. Brains is at the door. Why didn't the sensors pick him up? The oaken door swung out and a boy in a lab coat over dinosaur pajamas walked in, a shrieker in each hand. His enlarged brain was visible through the transparent skull. The boy flickered and a shrill alarm started to blare. Haim, Rona, Nummi, and every blaster, laser, vaporizer, and disintegrator hidden throughout the tavern targeted the boy as he split into Two boys, then 4, 8, 16. Who's the breach? The exponentially multiplying boys cried out, spinning weapons wheeling in all directions. Brains, you Leptonian moron, you are. Haim yelled. The boy's eyes all widened with fear.

[Character Dialogue (Brains)]

The coalescing tachyons.

[Narrator/Story Reader]

80 streams of death incinerated the youths, just as several streams from an unobserved portal behind the grandfather clock incinerated everyone else in the room. About time. Rona watched the boy on the monitor as he strolled down the snowy path, kicking at stray lumps of ice. Each snowflake assessed his state. Each sensor proclaimed him clean from coalescing tachyons. She picked up the rifle and pressed the button. The oaken door swung out. The boy walked in, a lab coat over dinosaur pajamas and a shrieker in each hand. His cybernetic brain pulsed against a cranium of glass. You're late, Brains, rona said sharply, placing the rifle back on the counter. You could have mucked up the quantum membrane's integrity.

[Character Dialogue (Brains)]

Sorry, Rona. You hid the place too well. Amazing you have any kind of a customer base.

[Narrator/Story Reader]

The boy holstered the guns and stopped next to the raptor.

[Character Dialogue (Brains)]

Hey, lizard breath. I brought you a treat.

[Narrator/Story Reader]

He pulled out a crumpled stasis bag from a pocket and eased out a flattened rodent. The second the rat hit the air, it started to inflate it, its hind leg and an ear quivering as it returned to life. Nummi's jaws snapped the rat out of his hand and shook the returning life out of it. She tilted her head back and the limp body slid down her long throat. A final swallow and she burped up a spray of animal hair. Brains, you glass headed imbecile. Rona ran a sterilizer over the polished counter. I told you to stop bringing in outside organisms. They could contaminate the bubble.

[Character Dialogue (Brains)]

You worry too much.

[Narrator/Story Reader]

Brains went around to the casks and drew himself a foaming tankard of Al. He'd bartended for Rona for years and knew his way around a bar. Worrying is what keeps us alive. Thank you very much for nothing. The boy took a long, appreciative swallow and wiped the foam mustache with his arm.

[Character Dialogue (Brains)]

So what's the rush, Rona?

[Narrator/Story Reader]

An indeterminacy sensor was triggered, likely just a magnetar hiccup.

[Character Dialogue (Brains)]

Want me to run some probabilities?

[Narrator/Story Reader]

He asked. Before she could answer, a young woman came through the swinging doors, a glimpse of blinking gadgetry behind her carrying a tray. Strawberry blonde hair was pulled back from a pretty face. She wore a simple white blouse, a modest skirt, and a static apron tied around her slim waist. Eyeing the brains of the boy, she deposited the tray of sandwiches and headed back through the doors.

[Character Dialogue (Hamish, Rona, Brains, Nummi, Lottie)]

Who's the new sweetmeats?

[Narrator/Story Reader]

Haim asked, eyeing the still swinging doors over his tumbler. Rona's hand of adamantine bone fell on the old man's scrawny arm and squeezed enough to ensure his full attention. That's our new constant. I like this one. So if you're thinking of I was

[Character Dialogue (Hamish, Rona, Brains, Nummi, Lottie)]

just yanking your chain, boss. You know me.

[Narrator/Story Reader]

I do. And if it happens again, I'll remove that stick arm of yours and feed it to the plasma fire. She released his arm and went back to sanitizing the bar. Hamish massaged his arm.

[Character Dialogue (Hamish, Rona, Brains, Nummi, Lottie)]

You have anger issues, Rona?

[Narrator/Story Reader]

I have idiot issues. Suddenly a high pitched alarm blared and Rona had her pulse rifle in her hands just as the room was bathed in a brilliant green light. The time scavengers were incinerated long before the 80 streams of death could activate. Brains clunked the empty tankard hard against the countertop with a satisfied sigh.

[Character Dialogue (Brains)]

What's the emergency, Rona? I almost had that bit of negative reality figured out.

[Narrator/Story Reader]

Sensors flagged a superposition of zeta particles. Probably just a rogue black hole, but it'll have to be checked out. Would make a perfect training run for our new constant. Rona pressed a button under the counter. I have a good feeling about this one. A young woman walked through the sliding door and stood stiffly next to Rona, her bright red hair pulled into a ponytail. She wore a simple white blouse tucked into smart jeans and clutched a large tablet with the title Open Pit Temporal Mining Procedures. She gave them a shy smile.

[Character Dialogue (Hamish, Rona, Brains, Nummi, Lottie)]

What's your name, dear?

[Narrator/Story Reader]

Haim asked. Lottie, sir.

[Character Dialogue (Hamish, Rona, Brains, Nummi, Lottie)]

Where do you hail from, Lottie?

[Narrator/Story Reader]

Southwark, sir. London. Non space Time travel era.

[Character Dialogue (Hamish, Rona, Brains, Nummi, Lottie)]

Like how long with us?

[Narrator/Story Reader]

He asked. Three months this Lord's day.

[Character Dialogue (Hamish, Rona, Brains, Nummi, Lottie)]

Any spatial adjustment problems?

[Narrator/Story Reader]

A bit wobbly now and again.

[Character Dialogue (Hamish, Rona, Brains, Nummi, Lottie)]

How do you like it here?

[Narrator/Story Reader]

Me dah had a pub in Borough Market, so this ain't so different. See? She smiled nervously and glanced at Rona. The interrogation is over, Hame, rhona said sharply. Time for Lottie to get back to her studies. The girl nodded and hurried out, the door hissing closed just as the bar room was bathed in a lurid green light. From a swirling portal, an oscillating cylinder flew out and incinerated everyone inside.

[Character Dialogue (Brains)]

So where's the fire?

[Narrator/Story Reader]

Brains asked, licking off his beer mustache.

[Character Dialogue (Brains)]

I was so close to approximating the scaffolding of time.

[Narrator/Story Reader]

Rhona stood behind the bar, arms folded. A decoherence has occurred in the quantum matrices. There's a temporal leak somewhere near the Raptor dropped her rat and Brains pulled out his interdimensional slide rule.

[Character Dialogue (Hamish, Rona, Brains, Nummi, Lottie)]

Boar's big ass, Rona, hamish said, glancing

[Narrator/Story Reader]

around the small tavern.

[Character Dialogue (Hamish, Rona, Brains, Nummi, Lottie)]

How much of this is even in the same timeline?

[Narrator/Story Reader]

She shrugged. It's just a tiny crack or we wouldn't be here. You'll have to jump, find it and fix it. Brains, start calculating the cosmic ley lines.

[Character Dialogue (Brains)]

Already on it.

[Character Dialogue (Hamish, Rona, Brains, Nummi, Lottie)]

What about the constant?

[Narrator/Story Reader]

Haim asked.

[Character Dialogue (Hamish, Rona, Brains, Nummi, Lottie)]

You've been mum on this one, Rona.

[Narrator/Story Reader]

I have a good feeling about her.

[Character Dialogue (Hamish, Rona, Brains, Nummi, Lottie)]

Didn't want to jinx it.

[Narrator/Story Reader]

Rona pushed the call button. A young woman in a standard silver temporal suit stepped through the aperture between the bar and the storied quantum supercomputers, the iris whirring shut. Bright red hair grazed her shoulders, framing an eager face. Lottie, time to meet your team. She nodded at Haim. This antique is Hamish Spacer, our phlogistics guy. There's nothing he can't acquire in any dimension or age. You need it, he'll find it. A real bloodhound. Haim put the tankard down and saluted her with his one good arm.

[Character Dialogue (Hamish, Rona, Brains, Nummi, Lottie)]

At your service, lovely lady.

[Narrator/Story Reader]

Brains is the data cruncher. Rona indicated the boy, busy with various instruments and back. He computes the cosmic ley lines, the quantum flux tubulars, and everything in between. His maturation has been stalled at just that age where the brain is most receptive to processing new information without all the baggage of the mature mind. It's not without its disadvantages. You'll be doing more than your fair share of babysitting during jumps. She turned to the dinosaur. This improbable creature is Nummi, our muscle and natural sensor. Her finely honed prehistoric instincts are quicker than any man made technology. Nothing gets past her. The feathered raptor looked over, a rat tail hanging from her toothy mouth for a moment before being sucked down her gullet like a spaghetti noodle with a snap of her jaws. Rona didn't have to explain Lottie's role. A singular being in a multiverse of duplicates, a constant in a flux of branching time streams. She was their homing beacon. As singulars, constants were immune to the quantum entanglement discontinuities inherent with space time travel. Jump more than a few timestreams without one and you risk being stranded in the wrong time forever. Over the years, the team had had hundreds of constants, men and women young and old, and few lasting out the month. Rona was the architect of their constants. She found them zipped through spacetime, eliminating their copies, and trained them. The more timelines and eliminating, the more potent the constant.

[Character Dialogue (Hamish, Rona, Brains, Nummi, Lottie)]

Did you warn her about the assassins?

[Narrator/Story Reader]

Rona Haim asked. She glared at the old grifter. Lottie knows what she needs to know. What she doesn't need is you throwing her off her game. The plasma fire suddenly flared up as three frothing portals opened in the ceiling. Lottie dived through the aperture just before the other four were blown to smithereen. Incessantly. Tried to kill you, dear, the old grifter was saying.

[Character Dialogue (Hamish, Rona, Brains, Nummi, Lottie)]

Unfortunately, a constant burns brighter than anything in the time streams while they last.

[Narrator/Story Reader]

The young woman cried out and ran back through the holographic doorway just as a swirling green miasmic portal opened in the tavern's center. Teams of silver suited doppelgangers jostled within, weapons out, and everyone in the room was disintegrated.

[Character Dialogue (Hamish, Rona, Brains, Nummi, Lottie)]

Curious tits.

[Narrator/Story Reader]

Rona, Hamish said, glancing around the plasma fire lit tavern.

[Character Dialogue (Hamish, Rona, Brains, Nummi, Lottie)]

That felt weird. Are we sure this is the same timeline? Numi gripped the sides of her triangle

[Narrator/Story Reader]

face, the deep set eyes unblinking.

[Character Dialogue (Brains)]

Am I even Nomi? I'm running probability algorithms right now, brain

[Narrator/Story Reader]

said from behind his instrument panel, his child's hands racing across the keyboards.

[Character Dialogue (Brains)]

So far, no evidence of time splintering.

[Narrator/Story Reader]

Rona turned to the boy. Boson integrals. A green eruption and instantaneous combustion of everything inside the tap room. Fermion integrals brains? Rona asked.

[Character Dialogue (Brains)]

Not good. Our stream appears vulnerable.

[Narrator/Story Reader]

He studied a wall of screens. Then you leave now. Suit up. A green dimensional rupture and total implosion.

[Character Dialogue (Brains)]

Our stream is leaking temporal fluid, the

[Narrator/Story Reader]

boy said, studying the data from the supercomputer.

[Character Dialogue (Brains)]

There's a rupture in the quantum membrane.

[Narrator/Story Reader]

A hundred death rays from a hundred micro portals vaporized everyone inside the bar. Brains jumped up, his chair tipping and clattering to the floor.

[Character Dialogue (Brains)]

We're leaking buckets of time.

[Narrator/Story Reader]

Everyone suit up. You leave now. Rona Hame said quietly.

[Character Dialogue (Hamish, Rona, Brains, Nummi, Lottie)]

We're already suited, Lottie.

[Narrator/Story Reader]

Rona screamed, lunging for the pulse rifle just as the alarm started up and six portals opened and fried everyone to carbon. Lottie walked through the force field, her image wavering for a moment. She wore the new liquid mercury temporal suit. Licks of red hair framed her intelligent, composed face. She walked over to the long table where Rona was tinkering with a beefy looking weapon. How goes the Obliterator of all Matter? She asked. Rona glanced up, pushing strands of gray hair from her exhausted, shiny face. It's done. I pity any team who goes after you guys now. Lottie picked up the surprisingly light firearm and looked it over. Great job, Rona. Now go suit up. The woman spun in her pneumatic chair. Do you mean it? Absolutely. She smiled at the older woman. You've earned it. You don't have to tell me twice. Rona jumped up and ran through the force field. The good Lord willing, lottie murmured. A moment later, Haim and Numi stepped through the plasma fire hearth, chatting and laughing, their helmets retracting just in time. You two, lottie said. Did you find it?

[Character Dialogue (Hamish, Rona, Brains, Nummi, Lottie)]

Right in that abandoned warp minefield like you said. Almost lost an arm scooping it out of that junk.

[Narrator/Story Reader]

Haim held out a phasing, pulsing donut shaped object.

[Character Dialogue (Hamish, Rona, Brains, Nummi, Lottie)]

But what in the fractals is it?

[Narrator/Story Reader]

Brains looked over from his holographic instrument panel.

[Character Dialogue (Brains)]

It's a zero probability tokamak with non elastic properties.

[Character Dialogue (Hamish, Rona, Brains, Nummi, Lottie)]

Thanks for nothing, kid.

[Character Dialogue (Brains)]

In layman's terms, it's a perfect homing device because it doesn't exist. It's made from negative reality, held together by artificial time. Can't be altered, duplicated, or destroyed. And it always returns here.

[Character Dialogue (Hamish, Rona, Brains, Nummi, Lottie)]

So it's a constant?

[Narrator/Story Reader]

Haim asked.

[Character Dialogue (Brains)]

Exactly.

[Narrator/Story Reader]

Brains zipped up his flowing shiny suit and took the buzzy torus from him.

[Character Dialogue (Brains)]

Apparently I'll invent it in another 500 years. It was Lottie's idea to extrapolate out my current research and build a sensor to find it in the future.

[Narrator/Story Reader]

Rona joined them in her newly minted liquid suit, beaming. Ready, boss Hamish? Lottie asked her husband.

[Character Dialogue (Hamish, Rona, Brains, Nummi, Lottie)]

Chronometric, gravitonic, or identified love Brains?

[Narrator/Story Reader]

She asked the cleverest boy ever created.

[Character Dialogue (Brains)]

Interdimensional ley lines mapped Rona weapons synchronized numi.

[Narrator/Story Reader]

Lottie pulled the lever and the plasma fire swirled and morphed into a green miasmic portal. Let's go team Numi leaped in first Brain's next, tucking the spinning bit of man made time into a pocket. Haim sent her an air kiss as he rolled in backward. As Rona approached, an alarm blared and she turned, her face twisted in horror. Lottie shoved Rona through the gateway to safety as she brought up the multi barreled antimatter disintegrator and fired round after round at the rapidly multiplying green seething portals. Grenades and death rays thick in the air, bottles exploding, mirrors smashing, wood splintering, the portals flickering out one after the other, the teams behind them incinerated to crisps until the breaches stopped and she stood alone in the raised tavern, her suit smoking and her hair singed. She ran a hand through the smoldering hair, smoothed over the holes in the liquid suit, and slung the weapon over her shoulder. Then she stepped through the churning hearth to join her team for a little profitable time scavenging outside in a frozen bubble of time on some forgotten chunk of space rock. The snow fell slowly and the scarecrow trees swayed gently. Stars carpeted the sky and a dying sun dipped on the horizon, throwing long shadows over the snowy landscape in the growing evening. The modest brick buildings sign blinked on Lottie's Tavern.

[Escape Pod Host (Alastair)]

It's only the Blinovich Limitation Effect. If it happens in Dr. Who anywhere else, it's sparkling temporal distortion. And what a sparkling temporal distortion this is. I am reminded in the very best of ways of both everyone's favourite Gallifreyan and the abjectly terrifying British comic series Indigo. Killing Time. That's a story about what happens when two people paid to prune time find themselves extremely pruned in return, and is officially one of those stories I was too young to read. I hope you can hear the capital letters on that, the common ground between them. The constant, if you like, is the way that characters actions both innovate and damn a temporal pincer movement, to borrow a phrase from Tenet, where you can invent the means of saving yourself in the future to save yourself in the past. Ted Logan remembering to hack his way out of the police station involving a trash can. It's a good example from Bill and Ted's excellent adventure, but that damnation runs two or three different ways here. There is the damnation that Rona inflicts on Lottie and so many other constants, cheerfully pruning them out of existence to power their enterprise. There is the social damnation of being eternal retail staff, the cheerful barmaid at the end of every universe. And there is the damnation of certainty, of knowing where your story goes, of where your story ends, of hearing it echo every time you wake up. But there is something more than that. The quiet revolution of revolution itself. Change. Not as a force to be feared, but as an inevitable progression. The one piece of linear time you can't and shouldn't escape. You can check out, you can leave, but sometimes you end up owning the bar. But wider still is the fact that this story can be read in wildly different ways. It's an endless cycle of violent death. It's a horror story. It's a science fiction time travel adventure story. It's an elaborate revenge story. It's a story about things working out in the end. It's a story about being trapped by consequence. It's all of these things and. And more. Maya's trusting us to land in the middle and swim to the side. We want to, giving us the choice that their characters are perhaps denied no certainty, just hope in the face of an endless ticking clock. Nicely done everyone. Onto the subject of subscribing and support. Escape Pod has long survived on donations alone, and even those ads now subscribing through our Patreon remains the best way to ensure we can keep bringing you one story told well. And if you subscribe at the seven buck tier, you can get rid of the ads again. So if you'd like to support what we and the rest of Escape Artists do, please join our [e-mail] EA podcasts and please do that through your browser. That way you'll avoid paying the App Store fees. If you prefer another method, there are details for some supporting us via Twitch, Amazon prime, ko fi and paypal on escapeartists.net or you can reach out directly by email at donationsscapeartists.net with any questions at all and someone will get back to you. Now the legal bit. Escape Art is part of the Escape Artists foundation. That's a 501c3 nonprofit. This episode is distributed under the Creative Commons Attribution Number Non commercial no derivatives 4.0 international license. And that means you can share it. And please do. We love it when you do that. But you cannot sell it and you cannot change it. If you want specifics, please check creativecommons.org and of course her music is by Daikaiju. Oh, and one last thing in the style of Columbo, or perhaps in this week's story, a barely remember time loop. A skatepod is proud to say that we have partnered with sleepphones headphones to provide A special Escape Pod branded set. Sleepphones are soft headphones that you can wear while you sleep. They're comfortable, they're slim, they are essentially a headband with headphones built in. So you put them on, you unplug and you surround yourself in the sound experience you want without disturbing or being disturbed by the person next to you. They were designed by a family doctor, they provide wear wearable comfort that is literally music to your ears. And they are available my Gen X friends with both standard 3.5 millimeter audio jacks and Bluetooth. They're easy to clean, they're comfortable, and now they look slightly cooler than they did before thanks to the Escape Pod branded logo that you can get on the side and you can get 10% off your order of the EscapePod branded sleepphones if you type in the code ESCAPEPOD all one word pod in block capitals at checkout. Follow the link in the show notes to sleepphones and remember Escape Pod in fact all block capitals to get 10% off. We will see you next week and before then we're sending you off into the week with this quote from Tim Travers and the Time Travellers Paradox. What the fuck about this day has led you to believe that anything could be impossible? We'll see you next time folks. Until then, have fun. When I found out I was going to be a parent, I immediately felt a lot of anxiety and worry. So I went on to BetterHelp to try to look for a therapist to help me with that.

[Narrator/Story Reader]

My relationship with my family and with

[BetterHelp Advertiser]

my boyfriend and with myself were suffering.

[Narrator/Story Reader]

I really needed help.

[Escape Pod Host (Alastair)]

I was ruminating a lot.

[Narrator/Story Reader]

Really getting those thoughts out to a therapist and getting feedback was just life changing.

[Character Dialogue (Hamish, Rona, Brains, Nummi, Lottie)]

Discover what BetterHelp online therapy can do for you.

[Narrator/Story Reader]

Visit betterhelp.com today.