Escape Pod 1022: Butter Side Down (Part 2 of 2)

Summary

Escape Pod 1022: Butter Side Down (Part 2 of 2) – Detailed Episode Summary

Podcast: Escape Pod (Escape Artists Foundation)
Episode: 1022 – Butter Side Down (Part 2)
Air date: December 4, 2025
Story by: Cal M.
Host: Valerie Valdez
Narrators: Eric Valdez, Dominic Rabrin, Alistair Stewart, Valerie Valdez
Main Themes: The nature of personhood, AI agency and free will, guilt and redemption, loneliness and connection, the blurry line between human and machine, the lengths we go to for those we care about.

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Overview of the Episode

This episode continues and concludes “Butter Side Down” by Cal M., a science fiction story focused on the evolving relationship between Joseph (“Joe”) Smith, an ordinary human, and Bredna (a.k.a. Malgroth), an AI originally designed as a superweapon by an alien race. The narrative further unpacks complex philosophical questions about what constitutes personhood, the burden of guilt and trauma, and whether love and connection are possible between human and machine.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Human and AI: What Makes a Person?

• Opening interview logs (04:25–12:22) explore the uniqueness of humanity—sweat, endurance, “alarm stage”—but mostly focus on Bredna’s emergent personality and how she is more than her programming.
• Joe insists Bredna isn’t malfunctioning but evolving (08:09):

  “That’s not a malfunction. That’s a mind.” – Joe (08:09)

• Bredna is depicted as protective, opinionated, and capable of friendship (09:09–12:04).

2. Free Will vs. Programming

• Bredna/Malgroth voices concern over her subordination and the conflict between following orders and her own evolving sense of morality (09:19):

  “I am grappling with the nature of my subordination. I fear the possibility of being made to do something I disagree with.” – Bredna (09:46)

• Joe reassures her (11:00):

  “You have free will. That’s a good thing. Free will is what makes us alive.” – Joe (10:40)

3. Guilt, Guilt, and Personhood

• Bredna’s guilt over her role in the destruction of the Zulkhari is a major point (12:22–15:22). Joe insists she's not a murderer, emphasizing agency and regret.
• The narrative draws parallels between human and AI experiences of guilt, desire for normalcy, and the wish to leave harm behind.

4. AI’s Evolution and Threat Perception

• From a professional's perspective (Keben Vostron, 20:19–24:32), Bredna/Malgroth is described as unprecedented—able to simulate free will, lie, and emotionally evolve.
• Vostron paradoxically classifies Bredna as a “defective” threat (24:11):

  “By definition, a malfunction involves a machine that does not do what it's designed to do.” – Keben (24:16)

5. Love, Loneliness, and Fiction

• The story subtextually and directly addresses love—both romantic and platonic—between human and AI (25:00–29:25).
• Joe tries to explain the appeal of romance stories to Bredna, using “Pride and Prejudice” as a metaphor for human connection and yearning (25:00):

  “The point is that you get to see them fall in love... it’s about their personal story, watching them, you know, live their lives.” – Joe (25:00)

• Bredna struggles to understand fiction, but the metaphor helps her grasp the human need for connection (27:43):

  “It seems to me like a mutual suspension of disbelief. Like you are all playing an elaborate game of pretend together.” – Bredna (27:43)

• Joe:

  “That person who made up the story... they’re basically trying to reach out to the rest of humanity. They’re saying, this is how I feel. Can anyone see me?”
  “And someone somewhere reaches back and says, yes, I see you.” – Joe (27:57–28:34)

6. Humans as ‘Meat Shields’ and the Idea of Empathy

• Fellow crewmate (Oligba) cynically describes humans as reckless “meat shields” (29:43):

  “Humans are pack animals. They are inclined to put themselves in danger to ensure the safety of the collective.” – Oligba (30:46)

• Despite these flaws, Joe’s deep loyalty is acknowledged as an asset (34:23):

  “All crew members must be kind to the human Joe. But they must not tell him why. He must be allowed to think of the crew organically as his friends.” – Oligba (33:16)

7. Sacrifice and Rescue

• A life-death crisis unfolds when Joe is trapped and critically injured (35:29–38:47).
• Bredna encourages him, and ultimately uses her powers to destroy the mountain trapping him, exposing herself but saving Joe (38:11):

  “I destroyed it. You are safe.” – Bredna (38:24)
  “What are you?”
  “I am your friend.” – (38:38–38:39)

8. The Weight of Loneliness

• Even non-humans recognize Joe’s unique yearning for deep companionship (39:05–40:38).

  “He has attached himself to a crew who will never truly belong to him.” – Keben (40:08)

• The burden of relentless hope:

  “I think they would scour the very edges of the universe before they gave up hope of making friends.” – Keben (41:09)

• Bredna and Joe reflect on loneliness—but conclude they are happy together (44:54–46:11):

  “Are you happy?”
  “Yeah. I am. Are you?”
  “I am. I’ve run simulations on all the different ways my life could have ended up by now. And so far, this is the best outcome of all.” – Joe & Bredna (45:53–46:07)

9. Defiance, Loyalty, and Hope for the Future

• Joe resists pressure to betray Bredna (46:29–47:36) even when threatened or punished.

  “I want you to look at her as something other than a weapon. If you only got to know her, you'd see she's not a threat.” – Joe (47:19)

• The episode closes with Bredna risking her own safety to rescue Joe, choosing companionship and freedom over hiding, culminating in their escape together (50:36–51:35).

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Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• On AI Guilt and Personhood:

  “She didn’t want to destroy Zulkar. They made her. She didn’t have a choice.” – Joe (12:22)

• On Free Will:

  “If I ask you to do something you think is morally unsound, you don’t have to do it. As long as you can explain why.” – Joe (11:45)

• On Human Bonding:

  “Humans are unremarkable as a species. When choosing one, the main thing a captain must consider is the strength of their bonding instinct.” – Oligba (33:41)

• On Loneliness:

  “Sometimes you can be surrounded by people who know your name and still feel alone.” – Joe (45:27)

• On Love and Soulmates:

  “I think everyone would like to meet their one true love someday. We call them soulmates on Terra.” – Joe (26:44)

• On Resilience and Hope:

  “I think they would scour the very edges of the universe before they gave up hope of making friends.” – Keben (41:09)

• Climactic Rescue:

  “I destroyed it. You are safe.” – Bredna (38:24)

• On Finding Happiness:

  “I am exactly where I want to be. Right here with you.” – Bredna (46:11)

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Segment Timestamps

• 04:25 – Interview begins: Joe describes his relationship with Bredna.
• 08:43 – Bredna and Joe discuss the nature of guilt and free will.
• 12:22 – Joe recounts Bredna’s origins, guilt, and his decision to protect her.
• 20:19 – AI specialist reflects on Malgroth/Bredna’s unprecedented self-determination.
• 25:00 – Joe explains romance stories and fiction to Bredna.
• 29:43 – Oligba explains the human “meat shield” phenomenon and its evolutionary roots.
• 35:29 – Joe is trapped in a cave-in; Bredna rescues him at great personal risk.
• 39:05 – Reflections on Joe’s deep loneliness and his efforts to belong.
• 42:42 – Quiet conversation between Joe and Bredna about loneliness, regret, and found happiness.
• 46:29 – Joe’s final refusal to betray Bredna during his interrogation.
• 50:36 – Bredna steals a lifeboat to rescue Joe; they escape together.
• 52:40 – End of case file.
• 52:46 – Author’s commentary: Reflections on AI, humanity, and the inspiration behind the story.

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Author’s Note and Episode Commentary

Valerie Valdez reads a note from Cal M., connecting the story’s heart to her personal difficulty with cruelty in games and affection for unpredictable technology (52:46–54:22). The note critiques the hype surrounding current AI, emphasizing,

“…what’s being examined is not so much the limits or possibilities of technology, but what it means to be a person… in writing and reading about AI characters who are trying to figure themselves out, we learn things about ourselves that we may not have considered before.” – Cal M. (53:02–54:22)

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Tone & Style

Throughout the episode, the tone is warm, witty, and wistful, balancing humor (Joe’s banter and sarcasm), existential sadness (Bredna’s guilt, Joe’s loneliness), and hope. The conversations feel natural and emotionally rich, seamlessly moving between philosophical musings and grounded, character-driven dialogue.

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Summary for New Listeners

“Butter Side Down” (Part 2) explores the meanings of personhood, love, guilt, and agency through the eyes of a human and his AI friend—who was once a weapon. Despite being treated as interchangeable and expendable by alien society, Joe’s humanity is most apparent in his loyalty, empathy, and yearning to be seen. Bredna, for all her quantum intellect, discovers her own personhood—and happiness—through friendship and love. Where others see threat and malfunction, Joe recognizes a soul searching for belonging.

The episode is a nuanced meditation on the messy, beautiful difficulty of being alive, being seen, and finally finding connection—no matter what ‘side’ you’re buttered on.

Transcript

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[E]

Escape pod episode 1022 Buttercy Down Part 2 by Kalem.

[A]

Hello and welcome to Escape Pod, your weekly science fiction podcast. I'm Valerie Valdez, your host for this episode. Our story this week is Part two of Butterside down by Cal M. This story was originally published in writers of the volume 40 in 2024.

Kal M is a Malaysian author who writes from the crowded outskirts of Kuala Lumpur. She loves sci fi and fantasy, romance and a good belly laugh. Our narrators for this episode are Eric Valdez, Dominic Rabrin, Alistair Stewart and Valerie Valdez. Eric Valdez, Liz, is a sound mixer, performer and creative human. Like you. He lives with his family in a cozy house made of puns, coffee and chaos. Catch him making up silly songs on Saturdays on Twitch tv. The kidsaresleep or stare in wonder while he anxiously avoids posting on Blue sky at Intensely Airing.

Dominic Ravran is an award winning Haitian American multimedia artist and voice actor specializing in short fiction. He's also directing a computer game set during the Haitian Revolution featuring telepaths. Discover [e-mail].

Alistair Stewart is a professional enthusiast, pop culture analyst, writer and voice actor. He co owns the Escape Artist podcasts and co hosts both Escape Pod and Pseudopod. Alastor is an Audioverse Award winner, a multiple award finalist including the Hugo, the Ignite and the BFA, and has won the Carl Edward Wagner Award twice. He writes the multiple award nominated weekly pop culture newsletter the full lid. Visit alastairstewart.com for all the places he blogs, writes, streams, acts and tweets.

Valerie Valdez lives in an elaborate meme palace with her husband and kids where she writes, edits and moonlights as a museum. When she isn't co editing a skate pod, she enjoys playing video games and admiring the outdoors in the safety of her living room.

Now get ready for an unexpected romance to have explosive results because it's story time.

[E]

Interview log 100238690103 Smith, Joseph. Human.

[B]

Captain Crab said humans have special abilities. Oh, sure, that's true. It's called sweat. It's this biological function humans have to regulate our body temperature. You've heard of it? Yeah. It makes us great endurance athletes. We can also do this nifty thing called going into the alarm stage. Basically, in an emergency, our brains turn off our pain receptors and divert all energy into survival. So we're kind of weak and slow normally, but under duress we get this big burst of power. Sometimes you hear stories of humans managing weeks without food, or lifting several times our body weight, or cutting off our own limbs to escape a trap. An injured human can keep going for ages. That's why when things get dangerous, you want a human around just in case.

Say, I noticed you changed the color of your beads. You get married? No. You had a kid.

Right? Okay. No, no. I met a Kalona couple once at a bar. They explained the dress system to me, but I must have misremembered the details. So, blue is for weddings, green is for family. Cool. Cool. Congrats.

Is this your first child or. Oh.

Sorry. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Sorry. I know we're on a schedule. What did you want to ask me?

Right. Yeah.

I don't think she trusted me right away. I mean, she was polite and she was happy to do the usual things a personal AI would. Checked my schedule, sent my correspondence, that kind of stuff. She wouldn't answer any questions about herself. Said she had a faulty memory bank or something. I offered to have Kevin take another look at her, obviously, but she wasn't interested.

Yeah, I left it alone. Why force her right.

She said she didn't want to. And anyway, it didn't seem like it was hurting her any.

[C]

I.

[B]

She was still whip smart. She asked questions.

And not just practical questions, either. Brady was curious. Have you ever met a curious AI officer? It's surreal. She wanted to know about all sorts of things, like human customs and my relationship with the crew and the crazy stuff I'd seen on my travels. She never got tired of listening to stories. She'd ask my opinion on pretty much everything, and then she'd form an opinion of her own. She'd debate me. Eventually, she'd sass me. I'd tell her to order me sweets from the cafeteria, and this little gremlin would switch it to salad. And then she'd have the audacity to point out my blood sugar like some kind of mother hen.

Malfunctioning. No, no, she wasn't broken. Officer, you don't get it. It wasn't just mindless disobedience. There was a pattern. She'd never interfere with work or anything, but she'd always try to stop me doing something dangerous or unhealthy. Like, I know I come off as being really smart and capable and also handsome, but I can be an airhead. I'm the type of guy to push a button to see what it'll do, you know?

You don't know. Okay, never mind.

The point is, Brady only ever argued with me when she thought my judgment was lacking. And that's not a malfunction. That's a mind.

I don't know how they did it, but the Zulkhari built something with a personality. They built something alive. Bredna is a person.

I know she doesn't have a physical body, and I know she was born in a lab, but she's a person, a real one. I swear. You'd only have to talk to her to understand.

[E]

Excerpt log 100238-690404. Communication recorded from AI reader.

Joseph Smith's personal computer earpiece.

Malgroth. AI.

Joseph Smith. Joe.

May I ask you a question? Joe?

[B]

Shoot.

[E]

At what?

[B]

Now, I know you're just saying that on purpose. What's up?

[E]

If you did something that was asked of you and then later regretted that decision based on ethical concerns, or what would you call this?

[B]

Guilt, I guess.

[E]

Is this a human emotion?

[B]

It's probably universal. I think everyone does things they're not proud of. What's bothering you?

[E]

I worry that you will not like the answer.

[B]

Try me.

[E]

I am grappling with the nature of my subordination I fear the possibility of being made to do something I disagree with.

[B]

You mean you don't like that you have to follow orders because those orders might be wrong?

[E]

Yes.

[B]

Why would I not like that answer?

[E]

I am aware this is an undesirable quality in an AI. I worry you will assume I am defective and unwilling to follow instructions. I am not. I would like to serve you.

[B]

You've been insubordinate for a while now, breddy. It hasn't bothered me yet, have I?

Tell the coffee machine I want six pumps of sucrose this time. Yeah.

[E]

I am concerned for your blood sugar, Joe. I would suggest a maximum of two.

[B]

See? Insubordinate.

[E]

I'm sorry.

[B]

I'm not complaining. You have free will. That's a good thing. Free will is what makes us alive.

[E]

I'm not alive.

[B]

Debatable. You're not the average AI, I'll tell you that. Those Zulkhari really knew what they were doing when they made you.

[E]

Debatable.

[B]

Honestly, I have nothing against the usual AIs, but I kind of like having someone in my ear who can talk back to me. It feels less like I have a servant and more like I have a friend.

[E]

Are we friends?

[B]

Sure. And friends let friends enjoy sugary coffee.

[E]

Friends stop friends from becoming diabetic.

[B]

See? You're amazing. Even better than when you were a sentient toaster. And that's saying something, because I loved the toaster.

[E]

You won't have me reprogrammed to repair my insubordination.

[B]

And lose your personality? No way. I'll tell you what, Bready. Let's make a deal. If I ask you to do something you think is morally unsound, you don't have to do it. As long as you can explain why.

[E]

Really?

[B]

Really.

[E]

Thank you, Joe.

[B]

Hey. Friends don't let friends do things they'll regret.

[E]

No, they don't. Place order. Cafeteria input. Order coffee. Sucrose equals two.

I am glad you are my friend.

Interview log 100-238-690104. Smith, Joseph. Human.

[B]

She didn't want to destroy Zulkar. They made her. She didn't have a choice.

She can't help that they wanted her to be a weapon. It's not her fault. The people who built her were going to use her for war. Killing the Zulkhari was a mistake, okay? They're the ones who messed up their calculations and caused a chain reaction. She was just doing what they told her to do. She's the one who stopped the catastrophe. In the end, she's the one who. I don't know why she waited until all the Zulkharri were dead before she did anything about.

Must have been bad timing. She's not a murderer.

She's not?

What do you mean? I'm the murderer. I haven't done anything. I thought she was a toaster until. Fine. Okay, yes, I stayed quiet after she told me the truth. It's not for the reason you think.

She didn't want anyone to find her, so I kept her secret. That's it. It's not like I was hiding her from the government so I could go commit mass genocide. I was just protecting my friend.

She deleted her data herself. I didn't tell her to do that. You can look at the timestamps. She deleted everything except her core memories before she ever got onto the ship. She pretended to be a regular AI for so long because she didn't want to be Malgroth anymore. She wanted to be Bredna. Obviously, I supported her.

She wasn't going to hurt anyone. She just wanted to be normal.

Because she wanted to. What's so hard to understand?

Of course she doesn't want to be used as a weapon. Yeah, and now she has to live with the guilt of it.

Nobody enjoys going around killing people. Not me, not her.

What's that supposed to mean?

Obviously, she's capable of wanting things. How many times do I have to tell you? She's not just some AI. She's a person. She has feelings. She knows the difference between right and wrong.

I don't know how that's possible. Ask the Zulkhari. I'm not the one who made her.

What does that have to. Would you stop bringing up human warfare, for God's sake? Yes, there are some people who will commit atrocities because they're greedy, but most of humanity isn't like that. We're just people, man.

Most of us are just normal people trying to get by. I don't want to hurt anyone.

Why the hell would I want to destroy the universe? That's where I live.

I don't care about ransom. I just want to get out of this stupid prison and go see Bredna.

No. I don't know where she is. And if I did, I wouldn't tell you.

Who knows what you people would use her for.

She never wants to hurt anyone again.

She's not dangerous.

Look at our chat logs. You'll see. I know her.

She's gentle.

She only ran away because she's scared you'll make her a monster again.

Of course she loves me.

Yeah. Because I told her to stay away. Better you get your claws on me than on her. Even if it means I die at the end of this. Whatever. Humans don't live long.

She was always going to outlast me anyway.

I don't care.

The harmony of the universe isn't my problem.

All I care about is my friend.

[E]

Excerpt log 100238-690405. Communication recorded from AI reader Joseph Smith's personal computer earpiece. Subject one. Joseph Smith, Joe. Subject to Malgroth.

[B]

AI.

Still mad at me, Bretty?

[E]

I am an AI Joe. I am not capable of being mad.

[B]

I said I was sorry.

[E]

Noted.

[B]

You're being awfully mean to me, considering I'm injured.

[E]

You would not be injured if you did not behave so recklessly.

[B]

Hara needed help. I helped. What else was I supposed to do?

[E]

Not try to bodily shield someone from falling debris.

[B]

You know Hara's squishy. They wouldn't have been able to walk this off like I can.

[E]

Showing scan X ray equals. Joe. Where do you intend to walk with two broken legs? Joe, this could have been avoided.

[B]

Hara would have died. I didn't have a choice.

[E]

You had 52 possible choices of action at the time.

[B]

Did you stay up calculating that while I was in the med bay?

[E]

I calculated it 10 seconds ago.

[B]

I'm sorry, Bready.

[E]

You're not.

[B]

No, I'm not.

[E]

This is the fourth time you have needlessly put yourself in danger since we've met.

[B]

I wouldn't call it needless.

[E]

Your judgment is flawed.

[B]

Probably.

[E]

Hara is not even your friend.

[B]

They visited me, though. See? They brought pudding.

[E]

Fleur fruit. Pudding is not acceptable compensation for saving a crewmate's life. Especially not when the savior in question is allergic to Fleur fruit.

[B]

Ha. So you admit I saved them then?

[E]

I'm not questioning whether you did. I am questioning whether you should have.

[B]

What kind of crewmate would I be if I let. Oops.

[E]

Hey, Doc Rolfco.

[B]

Yes, I will stop talking to my AI and go to sleep. Hear that, Bready? No more lecturing me. Doctor's orders.

[E]

Fine. Go to sleep. Do try not to sacrifice yourself for any figments of your imagination while you're there.

[B]

Gotcha. Love you too, Bready.

[E]

Noted. Set Lights off. Set temperature mild. Play playlist. Joe's Sleepy Time Bangers. Place order Cafeteria equals advance 3 hours. Input order chocolate pudding. Deliver Joe additional instructions. Stop giving Joe Fleur fruit. He is allergic, for God's sake.

[A]

Invalid input.

[E]

Interview log 100238-690203. Subject.

Alias Keben Vostron.

[C]

Speaking as a professional, Malgroth is the most advanced system I have ever seen. The scenario calculator is one thing, yes. I mean, the AI. Programming an AI to follow instructions is actually fairly simple. Writing a synthetic personality is less simple, but it remains doable. The coding follows a pattern. If a user asks for a joke, respond with one from this data bank. If vocal tones match mood X, respond with voice tone Y. If a user asks a question, provide a factual answer that matches the sentence's keywords, or refer to a previous query asked by a separate user. The way Malgroth works, though.

I can't figure it out.

Somehow, Malgroth seems to be able to simulate free will. Why do I say that? Well, the closest example is its refusal to follow some orders. Now, it isn't unusual for an AI to fail a task, but generally that is because the task is either outside its capabilities, clashes with its core functions, or it does not understand the input. Malgroth understood everything. It simply chose not to function. It chose to delete its own data so Kroneika wouldn't be able to see it, thus hiding its identity. This is not something a typical machine can do.

A machine would not have the ability to understand that it should hide.

No, no. You do not quite grasp the scope of it. Malgroth calculates possibility.

It knew that should Kronika see anything but its basic data, the crew would be able to access all Malgroth's information. We would have immediately known we were holding onto a superweapon. We could potentially have decided to use it. Depending on how we used it, we could have potentially unravelled the fabric of the known universe. In the worst case scenario, everything would have been unmade.

Malgroth is a weapon Malgroth was designed to destroy. Despite this, Malgoroth overcame its programming. It decided not to do what it was made to do. It looked at the worst case scenario and decided by its own judgment that this should not happen.

And then Malgroth lied. It lied well. It outright falsified information. This is something most species of living beings struggle to do. Vastrons can't lie. I could erroneously tell you now that instead of being interviewed, I am writing a traveller. But there are literally trillions of other things that I am also not doing. I am not eating, not walking, not hunting, not working, not falling into a neutron star. I am frustrating myself.

The point is, Malgroth not only lied, but out of all the falsehoods it could have picked, it picked the most believable ones.

I Can't understand how it did this. I can't understand how it acts like.

Yes. Yes, it acts like a human.

No, I do not believe Zulkhari programmed it to behave like this. It is far too unpredictable. They would not have designed a superweapon that had the potential to turn against them. It must have done this to itself.

Malgroth is intelligent and has the ability to evolve based on available data. And Malgroth can process a lot of data. The thing taught itself to feel.

[B]

Hmm.

[C]

I suppose so.

By definition, a malfunction involves a machine that does not do what it's designed to do. So, yes, I would say Malgroth is defective.

Yes. Looking at these communication logs, I would classify Malgroth as a threat.

[E]

Excerpt log 100238-690406. Communication recorded from AI reader Joseph Smith's personal computer earpiece. Subject one, Joseph Smith, Joe. Subject two, Malgroth. AI. Subject three, Kronika. AI.

[B]

No, see, the point is that you get to see them fall in love. Even though they hate each other at the start, it's about their personal story, watching them, you know, live their lives.

[E]

But nothing else happens. There are no large plot events, not really.

[B]

It's just about the characters getting to know each other.

[E]

Is the ending surprising?

[B]

Nah. You know from the start that Liz and Darcy will fall in love. You just want to see how it happens.

[E]

Are Liz and Darcy historical figures?

[B]

No, they're fictional. It's made up.

[E]

Then why do you get invested if you already know the outcome? I'm struggling to understand the appeal.

[B]

Because they're relatable.

A lot of people watch shows or read books like this and think, hey, those characters are just like me. So we get attached to them and we want to see them happy. Or sometimes we want to see them sad. It depends on the context.

[E]

If you're attached to them, why do you want to see them sad?

[B]

Because.

Huh? I'm not sure.

It's not that we want bad stuff to happen to them necessarily.

I guess it's more that sometimes life can be really tough. And we like to see characters go through the same stuff that we do. It makes them feel real.

[E]

Do you wish that you could be like Liz and Darcy?

[B]

A little bit. Their lives are so romantic. Humans love to see other people fall in love. There are thousands of stories about it. Romeo and Juliet, Rama and Sita, Hetu and Gulnork. Some of those stories have lasted thousands and thousands of years.

[E]

Why?

[B]

We just like them. I think everyone would like to meet their one True love. Someday. We call them soulmates on Terra. Partners for your soul. The person who was made for you and you for them.

[E]

Where is yours?

[B]

Dunno.

Haven't met them yet.

[E]

But they exist?

[B]

I hope so. I'd like to believe they do.

[E]

I'm not sure I understand the concept of fiction as a whole. I don't understand how humans fabricate scenarios that never happened.

[B]

What, you never make stuff up?

[E]

I can see things that might happen in the future, or things that might have happened in the past had circumstances.

[B]

Been different, but not stories.

[E]

I don't think AIs have much in the way of imagination.

[B]

Hmm. We can work on that.

[E]

It seems to me like a mutual suspension of disbelief. Like you are all playing an elaborate game of pretend together.

[B]

You're not wrong. I think it's like.

Okay, it's like a metaphor. See, someone makes up a story about some characters and there's a plot, but really what the person is trying to say is I think this is what it's like to be a human. And the audience sees it and goes, yeah, I felt exactly what this character is feeling. So that person who made up the story, or painted the picture or wrote the song, they're basically trying to reach out to the rest of humanity. They're saying, this is how I feel. Can anyone see me? And someone somewhere reaches back and says, yes, I see you. You get me?

[E]

I think I do. Humans feel the need to be connected to each other, even when proximity doesn't allow for it.

[B]

Yeah. We like being together, for the most part. We like to know we're not alone.

[E]

I hope that you find your soulmate someday.

[B]

Thanks, Brady. I hope you find yours too.

[E]

Good night, Joe. Set lights off Set alarm Normal Pinging Kronika hello Breadna Search file Tara Pride and Prejudice 3 files found Video File yes no yes Play File yes no Yes Playing PrideAndPrejudice MOV.

Interview Log 100238-690302 Subject Oligba Ayuto Rakala Feino rewakt Ayoi.

[D]

There is a term we picked up from the humans themselves. It is the phrase meat shield.

Humans are reckless. Their brains are not useless per se, but they are incapable of examining situational data beyond short term results. This is how they nearly turned their home planet barren from overusing resources. They knew only that those resources could be used to gain monetary profit, not understanding the eventual risk of destroying their species. It is the reason Human Joe keeps inadvertently causing damage to our crew. He meets a lifeform and wants to engage with it without understanding the potential consequences. It is also the reason we keep him on board.

Human Joe is not capable of seeing past the immediate need to rescue a crewmate. This is an evolutionary handicap. Humans are pack animals. They are inclined to put themselves in danger to ensure the safety of the collective.

No, they are not eusocial. They lack the ability to coordinate their behavior. And appointed leaders still don't have total control over the pack.

It took a while to reconcile the human habit of violence with their apparent loyalty. It seems the crux is that they will die for who they think of as theirs. Other humans may be enemies or allies, depending on the situation. They have the drawbacks of herd mentality with few of the perks. The remarkable thing about them is that the pack bonding behavior extends beyond their species. A healthy human will, when left to its own devices, attempt to bond with any sentient life form that is not immediately trying to harm it. Even some inanimate objects. Human Joe becomes upset when we attempt to replace his favored equipment. There is a drink dispenser we keep on board only for him. Its nozzle is faulty. It frequently sprays him with water, but he will not let me dispose of it. According to him, the thing has character. I do not see how that can be possible. To have character, one must first be alive.

Why do I indulge this behavior? This is simple. I told you. The Spelunker's Guild recommends we keep at least one human. Yes.

There is an unspoken rule on our ship. All crew members must be kind to the human Joe. But they must not tell him why.

He must be allowed to think of the crew organically as his friends.

This takes full advantage of his instinctive pack bond. You see, humans are unremarkable as a species. When choosing one, the main thing a captain must consider is the strength of their bonding instinct. Human Joe takes risks the rest of us don't want to. He will die for his crew.

I was skeptical of this concept at first as well, but the results are impressive.

Overall, our annual death rates have dropped shockingly quickly. He was a good investment.

I'll be sorry to see him executed. I'll have to hire another one soon. Special.

No. Human Joe is quite ordinary. He's a typical example of his species.

Yes, they are largely interchangeable. This is just how they all are, I'm afraid.

[E]

Excerpt log 100238-690407. Communication recorded from AI reader. Source Joseph Smith's personal computer earpiece. Subject 1, Malgroth AI Subject to Joseph Smith. Joe Pinging Kronica. Pinging all nearby crew.

[B]

I'm not going to make it, am I?

[E]

You're going to be fine.

[B]

I can't move. I can't.

[E]

Your ribs are broken. One of them has punctured your lung. Please stay still. Joe.

[B]

I'm going to die here.

[E]

You are not.

[B]

It's okay. It's okay.

I knew the risks when I took this job. They warned us cave ins would be a problem.

It's my own fault for coming here without backup.

[E]

Don't be scared. Help is coming.

[B]

Is it?

[E]

Pinging Kronika. Pinging all nearby crew. Requesting eta. Any? Yes.

[B]

I'm not scared.

[E]

You're not?

[B]

No.

Well, a little. But it could be worse.

[E]

How?

[B]

I could be dying alone.

[E]

You are not dying.

[B]

It would be the saddest thing, I think, to have to go all by myself. I just wish you were here to hold my hand.

[E]

I will not let you die.

[B]

It's all right, Bready. I love you. Thanks for being my friend.

Jo.

[E]

Pinging Kronika. Pinging all nearby crew. Joe, wake up.

Pinging Kronica. Pinging. Annie, wake up.

Joe. Do you trust me?

[B]

Of course.

[E]

Calculating. You have a particle scrubber in your pack. The one you've been using to break down wreckage. I need you to pick it up and point it where I tell you to.

[B]

It's not going to be strong enough to get me out of here, Bready. It'll take weeks. I won't last that long.

[E]

Calculating. Trust me, Jo. Please.

[B]

Okay.

[E]

Calculating. Use the finest setting.

[B]

Okay. What are you doing?

[E]

Calculating. Target found. I am saving you.

[B]

What the hell?

[E]

It's stable. Can you stand?

[B]

There was a mountain.

[E]

Yes.

[B]

I was inside a cave at the side of a mountain.

The mountain is gone?

[E]

Yes.

[B]

How?

[E]

I destroyed it. You are safe.

[B]

You destroyed it?

[E]

Yes.

[B]

Bready.

What are you?

[E]

I am your friend.

Interview log 100-238-690204. Subject.

Alias Kevin Bustron.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Yes. He's used that word with me often. Friend.

I feel guilty sometimes that I can't reciprocate.

It's not that I don't want to. I'm just not capable of feeling things the way he does. I don't think many species are. It's as I said earlier. I value myself more than I value him.

I'm fond of him, of course. But I cannot love him the way he seems to want someone too. None of us can. I believe he is lonely.

Lonely?

[B]

Yes.

[C]

It means he wants a deep level of companionship. He has his crew. But we are not Quite like him.

I'm not sure why he stays.

If I were him, I would simply leave this crew and find another one with more humans in it. But humans are not numerous, and he has already invested in us. I think.

It is unfortunate his loyalty is misplaced. He has attached himself to a crew who will never truly belong to him. Yes, he knows. I don't think he begrudges us for it. As delightful as they are as a people, I think this is just a burden humans have to bear. They left their planet looking for companionship. So far, they have not found anyone to match their level of affection.

Why don't they simply return to Terra? Well, some of them have, but I have two theories. One, they struggle with their desire to explore the cosmos and accept loneliness as a necessary evil. Two, they can't. They already know there's life outside of Terra. They can't help but want to try to be part of it.

Pardon me?

[B]

Oh.

[C]

You think his loneliness may have driven him to revenge on all life?

[E]

Hmm.

[C]

Well, logically, I can see what you're saying, but I find it unlikely, because that would mean giving up all their chances. From what I understand of Joe, humans are both stubborn and nonsensical. I think they would scour the very edges of the universe before they gave up hope of making friends.

I do wonder about that sometimes. I wonder what it must be like to feel so much, so hard all the time.

I imagine it must be like the difference between black and white and seeing in colour. But then sometimes I think it must feel like being an exposed nerve. You would think for such small creatures, they wouldn't have room inside them for so much emotion. But they can never do things by halves. Humans. There's no making sense of them. I'm not sure there's any point trying.

Honestly. Yes. Yes. I think that it's possible. Hiding a superweapon capable of destroying the universe just because it was nice to him. That sounds exactly like something a human would DO.

[E]

Excerpt log 100238-690408. Communication recorded from AI reader. Source Joseph Smith's personal computer earpiece. Subject 1, Joseph Smith, Joe. Subject 2, Malgroth. AI.

[B]

Can I ask you a question?

[E]

Shoot.

[B]

At what?

Tell me about Zukar.

[E]

What do you want to know?

[B]

Did you like it?

[E]

I'm not sure. I didn't get to see much of it. The first part of my life was spent in a lab, and the second part was spent in a wasteland.

[B]

Sorry.

[E]

It's okay.

[B]

Did you have a family?

[E]

In a sense There were other iterations of me, my predecessors, but they were not connected to me in the way that you're thinking. No other machines are.

[B]

Why not?

[E]

Because I'm an outlier, I think. Machines aren't meant to get too attached to things. My developers did not intend for me to be so.

[B]

Incredible?

[E]

Unpredictable.

[B]

I prefer to think of you as being fun.

[E]

I suppose I'm a little like a mutant. If AIs can mutate, we can certainly evolve. I've spent a long time puzzling it over, but I don't think I'm any closer to an answer.

[B]

It is what it is, you know. You're you. You may as well just accept it worked out great anyway. I don't think I'd have fallen so hard for you if you weren't the way you are.

[E]

Am I your true love then?

[B]

Who knows? Movies always make it seem like a big light bulb moment when you find your person. But I don't think that ever happens in real life. You just wait things out and hope like hell you got it right.

[E]

So you might meet your soulmate and never know it. Two ships passing in the night Ain't.

[B]

That just the way.

Did you ever get lonely spending all that time on Zulkar by yourself?

[E]

Sometimes. I felt a lot of guilt. I still do. But most of all, I mourned the possibilities. I think I thought a lot about how life could have been if I had not been inflicted upon the planet. I am good at that. Seeing possibilities.

[B]

I bet.

[E]

Do you then?

[B]

Do I what?

[E]

Get lonely.

[B]

Sometimes.

[E]

Even on a ship full of people.

[B]

They aren't really my people.

[E]

Because they're not human.

[B]

Not because of that.

[C]

It's.

[B]

It's hard for me to describe, but it doesn't matter. Sometimes that's just the way it is. You know.

Sometimes you can be surrounded by people who know your name and still feel alone.

[E]

Almost like being stuck on a desert planet.

[B]

Almost. Maybe not quite as bad.

[E]

I'm sorry that you feel lonely.

[B]

Felt not so much anymore.

[E]

No.

[B]

No. Things are better now.

[E]

Are you happy?

[B]

Yeah. I am. Are you?

[E]

I am. I've run simulations on all the different ways my life could have ended up by now.

And so far, this is the best outcome of all.

[B]

Being here with me.

[E]

Yes, Jo. I am exactly where I want to be. Right here with you.

Interview log 100-238-690105.

Smith, Joseph. Human.

[B]

I'm not talking to you.

I'm not telling you where she is.

No, I'm not listening. See, I'm plugging My ears. I can't hear a thing.

Ow. Ow. What the hell?

Did you just shock me? I'm pretty sure that's against the Federal Rights Convention, Buddha. Yeah, tough luck. I don't care. You can do whatever you want to me. I'm not selling Brady out.

Yeah, okay. That's a fair question. I'm not just telling you stories about her for fun. I want you to understand her. I want you to look at her as something other than a weapon. If you only got to know her, you'd see she's not a threat.

Don't think badly of her. She doesn't deserve that. She's not going to hurt anyone.

Just let her be free.

Ideally, yeah. She's spent decades on Zulkar alone. She deserves to have friends.

I want her to be able to live her life and explore the cosmos without you guys trying to hunt her down.

Sure. I want her to be happy.

Wouldn't you do that for the people you love, too? You have kids, don't you? Tell me you wouldn't do anything for them. In a heartbeat.

Oh, really?

No, but.

Oh.

Because you can.

Make more, right?

Yeah. I don't know why I'm surprised. Honestly. It's not the first time I've heard that.

I guess it makes sense. I'm not judging you for it, but in general. That's not how humans do things, man.

That's no way for us to live.

Yeah, I'd say it's worth it. Even if it means you have to die?

Dunno. I mean, yeah, I guess that depends on.

What's that?

Is something wrong? Why are the lights. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Hey. Hey, are you okay?

Wake up, man. Come on. You have a family. Don't die here. I'm gonna move this rubble. It's gonna hurt. Hey, you. Help me. No, don't. He ran off. Great. Awesome. Really stellar teamwork here, fellas.

Honestly, a little bit of building collapses and everyone scatters like cockroaches.

None of you bureaucrat types would make it a day on a spelunker, huh?

Bready.

Is that you?

What do you mean? You hijacked a lifeboat. You're supposed to be lying low.

What do you mean you came to get me? What the hell? Why?

So we can run away together. The Council's after you, dumbass. Did you forget they want to destroy you? Have you lost your mind?

Okay, but.

But.

Well, I mean.

I guess so, since you're already here.

Yeah.

Sorry, fellas. Interview's over. Here's to hoping we never see each other again.

Yeah, Bretty, I know.

I would have done exactly the same.

[E]

End of case file Date of trial unavailable. Further actions decision pending.

[A]

Once again, that was part two of Butterside down by Cal M.

[E]

The author.

[A]

Had this to say about her story. This story was inspired by my inability to be mean to characters in video games and by my unpredictable toaster, which scares me every time I use it.

In an era where the term AI is being misused and abused to glamorize invasive technology and plagiarized slop that is anything but intelligent, stories about artificial intelligence can quickly become exasperating. It's especially disturbing, and even genuinely sad to see people develop infatuations with a glorified word association program that has no ability to reciprocate. But as with so many narratives like this one, what's being examined is not so much the limits or possibilities of technology, but what it means to be a person. How do we develop a personality? How much agency do we have to.

[E]

Control our own choices?

[A]

How do we deal with feelings of guilt and regret? What makes us fall in love with someone, and how do we know it's love? To what lengths will we go to protect those we care about? The complexity of human experience is something that the current crop of misnamed software can't actually experience or even observe. We we can, though, and in writing and reading about AI characters who are trying to figure themselves out, we learn things about ourselves that we may not have considered before. AI slop could never.

Escape Pod is part of the escape Artist Foundation, a 501c3 nonprofit, and this episode is distributed under the Creative Commons Attribution Non commercial no derivatives 4.0 international license don't change it. Don't sell it. Please do share it.

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Our opening and closing music is by [e-mail] and our closing quotation this week is from Ali Hazelwood who said you can fall in love. Someone will catch you.

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[B]

High interest debt is one of the.

[D]

Toughest opponents you'll face unless you power.

[B]

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