Escape Pod 1044: Rhona’s Tavern and Spacetime Portal

Summary

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Escape Pod 1044: "Rhona’s Tavern and Spacetime Portal" by S.L. Myers

Date: May 7, 2026
Host: Alastair (Escape Pod Host)
Narrator: Dani Daly

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Episode Overview

This wildly imaginative episode weaves science fiction, dark humor, and existential undertones into a time-looped tale set in Rhona’s Tavern—a bar marooned on a drifting asteroid outside of time itself. The story follows a ragtag, dimension-hopping team navigating paradoxes, deadly incursions, and the burden of being the universe’s “constants”—anchoring points that tie reality together across timelines. Surreal resets, multiverse carnage, and a strange camaraderie pulse through a space where the only certainty is change, death, or both.

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Key Discussion Points and Story Highlights

1. A Timeless Welcome at the Tavern

[02:30–05:00]

• Hamish Spacer (a wily old man) and Numi (a weaponized, proto-raptor dinosaur) enter the snowy setting and tense, blaster-ready tavern owned by the formidable Rona.
• The bar is revealed to be the “only structure” on an “icy tumbling carbonaceous asteroid trapped in the bubble of frozen time.”
• The interplay of their languages is both literal and metaphorical—Hamish and Numi banter in futuristic slang and Cretaceous-era raptor chirps.

Notable quote:

"An old man and a dinosaur walk into a bar..."
—Hamish Spacer, [04:38]

2. Team Dynamics and The Recruitment of "Constants"

[07:00–13:00]

• Rona introduces Lottie, a nervous recruit from 19th-century London, brought in as the team’s new “constant”—an individual unique in the multiverse, who anchors the team’s presence when they jump between timelines.
• Rona describes the cost and unique danger for constants—she must eliminate infinite versions of Lottie across timelines to empower her role (“All of them plank sweaty balls. That must have been a massacre.” —Hamish, [12:33]).
• The team banters—Nummi the raptor, Hamish the resourceful “flagistics” guy, and Brains, a boy-genius whose brain is visible through a glass skull—highlighting their trust, weariness, and gallows humor.

3. Temporal Hijinks and Violent Loops

[13:15–23:00]

• "Brains" arrives late, causing security systems to go berserk as he multiplies uncontrollably—then is instantly killed, along with everyone else, in a recurring cycle of death and resets.
• Time loops, green miasmic portals, and surreal annihilations abound; every team member is incinerated multiple times, only to “reset” seconds later as if nothing happened.
• The cycle is vexingly cartoonish yet tragic, and the story plays with the existential dread of being repeatedly murdered by alternate versions or quantum intruders.

Notable quote:

"Rona, you glass-headed imbecile."
—Rona reproaching Brains, [15:54]
“Curious tits.”
—Hamish Spacer, bewildered by the endless annihilation, [24:55]

4. The Nature of "Constants" and Multiversal Responsibility

[23:07–24:30]

• Explanation of “constants”: unique anchors immune to quantum entanglement, preventing the team from being lost among infinite possible timelines.
• Rona’s heavy responsibility in “pruning” alternate versions to manufacture a constant, ensuring the team’s safety at a massive ethical cost.
• The team’s cynicism (“A constant burns brighter than anything in the time streams while they last.” —Hamish, [24:30]) hints at their high mortality and the tragic fate often awaiting their constants.

5. Building Toward Change: Empowering the Constant

[26:52–31:23]

• Lottie, now experienced and confident, assumes leadership and equips the team with Rona’s latest weapon—"Obliterator of All Matter."
• Team members retrieve a “zero probability tokamak”—a device described as a “perfect homing device because it doesn’t exist” ([28:34]), underscoring the paradoxical nature of their world.
• Lottie orchestrates the team’s next jump, taking charge as Rona, Hamish, Numi, and Brains prepare to venture into hostile time-space territory.
• In a climactic moment, Lottie heroically defends the tavern from cascading portal incursions, then joins her team outside in the frozen stasis, signifying a passing of the torch.

Notable quote:

“In layman’s terms, it’s a perfect homing device because it doesn’t exist. ...And it always returns here.”
—Brains, explaining the zero probability tokamak, [28:34]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On bar life and multiversal fatigue:

  “You have anger issues, Rona?” —Hamish Spacer, [17:51]
  “I have idiot issues.” —Rona, [17:54]

• Explaining the endless job hazard:

  “Unfortunately, a constant burns brighter than anything in the time streams while they last.” —Hamish Spacer, [24:30]

• Meta-humor and existential fatigue:

  “That felt weird. Are we sure this is the same timeline?” —Hamish, [25:01]
  “Am I even Numi? I’m running probability algorithms right now.” —Brains, [25:11]

• Time travel paradoxes, with a nod to popular culture (Host’s Closing Remarks):

  “If it happens in Dr. Who or anywhere else, it’s sparkling temporal distortion. And what a sparkling temporal distortion this is." —Alastair, [31:49]
  “You can invent the means of saving yourself in the future to save yourself in the past... But that damnation runs two or three different ways here." —Alastair, [32:04]

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Timeline & Structure

• [02:30] — Story opening: bleak setting, characters enter tavern.
• [04:38] — Banter and world-building; team dynamics.
• [07:16] — Introduction of Lottie, new “constant.”
• [13:14, 18:03, 19:59, 24:09, etc.] — Multiple cycles of sudden annihilation and resets, with increasing absurdity and horror.
• [23:07–24:30] — In-depth explanation of “constants” and their narrative role.
• [27:52] — Lottie ascends from newcomer to leader, taking command for the team jump.
• [30:34] — Final battle against portal incursions; Lottie survives and sets out to join her team.
• [31:23] — Timeline stabilizes, the tavern’s sign now reads “Lottie’s Tavern,” signifying change and continuity.
• [31:49–35:00] — Alastair’s thoughtful analysis and meta-commentary on cyclical damnation and hope.

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Host's Take & Final Reflection

[31:49–35:00]

Host Alastair’s post-story reflection draws parallels to “Dr. Who,” “Indigo Killing Time,” and “Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure,” meditating on the story’s blend of paradox, existential cyclical doom, and possibility for change:

“But there is something more than that, the quiet revolution of revolution itself, change not as a force to be feared, but as an inevitable progression, the one piece of linear time you can’t and shouldn’t escape… Sometimes you end up owning the bar.”

—Alastair, [33:00]

He applauds the story’s layered nature, inviting listeners to interpret it as a time-travel adventure, existential horror, revenge, or hopeful progression—all at once.

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Conclusion

"Rhona’s Tavern and Spacetime Portal" is a sharp, witty, and beautifully structured take on the burdens of being an anchor in an uncaring, looping multiverse. Through Rona, Lottie, and their crew, listeners glimpse the relentless hazards, the necessity of constants, and the bittersweet inheritance of leadership—where survival may depend on burning the brightest, even at great cost. Alastair’s closing thoughts frame the episode as an exploration of choosing hope amid cosmic chaos.

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Listen for:

• Banter-packed team dynamics ([04:38–08:00])
• The existential horror of being a “constant” ([23:07–24:30])
• Lottie’s rise from nervous recruit to heroic leader ([27:52–31:23])
• Alastair’s uniquely insightful post-story breakdown ([31:49–35:00])

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A must for fans of clever time-travel tales, dark comedy, philosophy, and the eternal bartender at the end of time.

Transcript

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[Escape Pod Intro Announcer]

Escape pod episode 1044 rona's tavern and space time portal by s.l. myers.

[Alastair (Escape Pod Host)]

Welcome to Escape Pod, the science fiction podcast. I'm Alastair, your host and this week's story comes to us from SL Myers. SL Is a former US Air Force Russian linguist. After tours in Japan, Germany and Riyadh, she left the service to raise four children and to accompany her spouse to US embassies in Kyrgyzstan and Russia. She currently calls Alexandria, Virginia home, and her debut novel, Children of Cain, won first place in the 2023 Writer's Digest Self Published Ebook Awards Fantasy Genre category. Your narrator for this one is Dani Daly. Dani is a jack of many trades, a master of none, but seeing as she loves the rogue life, that's okay with her. You can hear stories that she's narrated all over the Escape Artists Network, Starship Sofa, Glitter Ship, and Asimov's Science Fiction Podcast. We'll have her social media links in the show Notes for you too. Summer Brooks is running audio for you this week, and I'm Alastair, your intrepid host. So charge your glasses and perhaps your blasters because it's story time.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

Rona's Tavern and Space time portal by S.L. myers read by Danny Daly

[Narration Support/Description]

the two

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

Boone companions walked through the snowy woods along the cobblestoned road, the night lit by hissing gas lamp posts. Ahead, just seen through the scarecrow trees, a neon sign glowed bright green.

[Narration Support/Description]

Rona's Tavern, the modest two story brick establishment was the only structure on the

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

icy tumbling carbonaceous asteroid trapped in the bubble of frozen time. The two were deep in a conversation very few in any time or place would have been able to understand. Talking over and with each other in a mix of common tongue circa 5345 new era and in the woofs, squeaks and chirps of the Deinonychus circa early Cretaceous period, the man and proto raptor turned off the road and followed the narrow, winding path leading to the tavern. They stopped on the stone landing near the Oak and wrought iron door with its leaded glass and waited for the defense systems to finish their scans. A click, the heavy door swung out and the two friends stepped in, blasters raised, ready for anything. Everything. The interior was a replica of an old English pub, from the oaken beer

[Narration Support/Description]

casks to the worn floorboards and sturdy

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

but mismatched tables and chairs in the corner.

[Narration Support/Description]

A fusion cast iron stove silently powered

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

the weapons systems and temporal installations. A hearth large enough for five people to stand in was prominent in the center of the main wall. Its plasma fire popped and hissed, the

[Narration Support/Description]

flames invisible but throwing a cheery light.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

The woman standing behind the long bar of polished mahogany had a pulse rifle aimed at their heads, and after a few tense seconds she relaxed and laid the hefty weapon on the gleaming counter.

[Hamish Spacer]

An old man and a dinosaur walk

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

into a bar, the old man said, flashing a wide smile while holstering his weapons, the feathered raptor doing the same.

[Hamish Spacer]

Let me know if you've heard this one.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

Rona, Hamish, I've heard them all. Pressed a button and reset the gluttonous amount of firepower aimed at the door both inside and out.

[Narration Support/Description]

She came around the bar, wiping her

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

hands on her static apron.

[Narration Support/Description]

Any problems finding the time and place

[Hamish Spacer]

right where you said?

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

Hamish said.

[Narration Support/Description]

The protocols?

[Hamish Spacer]

She asked to the fractal. What's the issue?

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

A temporal void was detected several dimensions over. It'll need checking out. Easy peasy.

[Hamish Spacer]

A hop, skip, and a jump.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

Let's hope Rona gave the old man the once over. His dark face was angles of polished mahogany and his hair a wiry white corona that stood straight up from his trim head. He wore a skin tight, violently purple bodysuit and cowboy boots of elephant hide stolen from some barbaric age. Dual custom made biometric blasters hung from his narrow hips. He was even more gaunt than when she'd last seen him, but despite his extreme age, he moved with the ease and agility of a young man. Not for the first time, she wondered what held Hamish Spacer together and how much it cost. How are you, Haim? She finally asked.

[Hamish Spacer]

Older and richer.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

He leaned in and gave her a dry peck.

[Hamish Spacer]

You look bone tired, Rona.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

You should get out more.

[Hamish Spacer]

Visit a beach or something. Get fucked.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

I get out plenty, she said testily. And watch your mouth. Haim glanced around the plasma fire lit tavern.

[Hamish Spacer]

I like the new place.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

Quaint.

[Hamish Spacer]

How's business?

[Narration Support/Description]

The same. Always some gazillionaire needing a new life.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

She turned to the proto raptor. The smallish female was covered with dark iridescent feathers. Except for the pointy face bristling with 70 pointy teeth, the dinosaur had extensive weaponry and shielding strapped everywhere and a

[Narration Support/Description]

speech assister at her throat.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

Still working with this grifter, Numi? Rona asked. He's still paying me, the little dinosaur rasped. Rona knew the two couldn't be separated for all the money and all the universes. She went behind the bar and glanced at the screens. Where the hell's his brains?

[Hamish Spacer]

He'll be here.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

Hamish pulled out a stool while the raptor kicked aside two others and stood in their place, perching a bony elbow on the counter. What can I get you to? Rona asked.

[Hamish Spacer]

Old Crow Bourbon, neat, said the old man. The 3,000 year old bottle, if you still have it.

[Narration Support/Description]

Not to worry, Nummi Krillian Schittski for me.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

Rona leaned close to the little raptor and looked into her nictitating eyes. Why do you always order the whiskey

[Narration Support/Description]

if you don't like it?

[Hamish Spacer]

Maybe she just likes the taste of shit, hame said.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

He and Numi laughed at some private joke, the raptor's little nostrils flaring. Rona rolled her eyes and turned to the heavily bottled shelves, catching her reflection in the bar's modeled mirror. A rumpled and careworn alewife, graying hair caught in a scarf, a static apron tied around a middle made thicker from various killing devices. Haim was right. She looked tired. More concerning. She looked older. A stir of worry in her stomach. How much time had objectively passed since they'd last seen each other?

[Narration Support/Description]

She brushed off the thought as she took down a dusty squat bottle and

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

poured several fingers into a rocks glass, sliding it over to Hamish. Brains is now officially late.

[Hamish Spacer]

He's always late.

[Narration Support/Description]

Hamish took a deep swallow of the

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

bourbon and wiped his lips delicately with his fingertips. Since when? Rona poured out a fiery liquid into a reinforced glass.

[Hamish Spacer]

Since always, the old man said. What's the problem?

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

Your memory, that's what. He's never late. She gave him a side glance as she placed the unstable alcohol in front of the feathered theropod. The curtain behind the bar twitched open, revealing several racks of humming machinery. A slender young woman came through with a tray of sandwiches. Her strawberry blonde hair was braided around a pretty head.

[Narration Support/Description]

She wore a simple white blouse with

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

long woolen skirts tucked into her apron ties on one side. Put the tray on the counter, Lottie, rona said. Before the girl could bolt. The young woman stepped warily forward, her eyes fixed on the raptor. She set the tray at the counter's edge and darted away, the curtains swinging. Fresh, he murmured to Numi, who nodded agreeably, although she likely had a different idea of fresh.

[Hamish Spacer]

Who's the sweetie pie?

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

He asked. Rona. Rona looked sharply at him. Our newest constant arrived a few days ago.

[Hamish Spacer]

She doesn't look local, haim said. Where'd you find her?

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

Early 19th century London. A barmaid in a public house?

[Hamish Spacer]

Faraday's farts, Rona. Our constants get more primitive with each iteration. I know you like to train them from the ground up, but this girl's never even seen a light bulb.

[Narration Support/Description]

They're being eliminated too quickly.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

Thought I'd go back a bit further. She let out a long sigh as she rubbed an aching temple.

[Narration Support/Description]

But acclimating her is proving a challenge.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

Hamish's ancient face took on a clever look as he shifted forward on the stool.

[Hamish Spacer]

I could take her under my wing. Train her up with the sensitivity of

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

an older, more experienced Rona dropped her reinforced hand on his arm, the fingers of iridium alloy digging into his ropy forearm, and leaned close. She's a tenth of your age, old man, and if you so much as

[Narration Support/Description]

touch her or make her feel uncomfortable in any way, I'll break your arm in a time and place you'll never see coming and it'll stay broke.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

She squeezed the arm, her eyes never leaving his.

[Narration Support/Description]

Do you understand?

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

He made a play at a smile.

[Hamish Spacer]

You know me, Rona. It was just talk. It's not like she'll be around long anyway. Not worth the investment in time.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

Rona slowly released his arm. Haim maintained eye contact for another moment and then pulled his arm close, massaging it.

[Hamish Spacer]

What's so special about this one, anyway?

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

She was costly.

[Hamish Spacer]

How many temporal lines?

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

All of them plank sweaty balls. That must have been a massacre. Haim looked over the sandwiches on the tray and picked one up. He next spoke around a mouthful of bacon, lettuce, and tomato.

[Hamish Spacer]

She'll be a powerhouse while she lasts. Does she know?

[Narration Support/Description]

Of course not. It's enough right now for her to

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

deal with being in a different time stream.

[Hamish Spacer]

What if we have to jump?

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

She'll go.

[Narration Support/Description]

Not ideal, but.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

Rona popped straight eyes on the monitors, the pulse rifle in her hands.

[Narration Support/Description]

Brains is at the door. Why didn't the sensors pick him up?

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

The oaken door swung out and a boy in a lab coat over dinosaur pajamas walked in, a shrieker in each hand. His enlarged brain was visible through the transparent skull.

[Narration Support/Description]

The boy flickered and a shrill alarm started to blare. Haim, Rona, Nummi, and Every blaster, laser,

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

vaporizer, and disintegrator hidden throughout the tavern

[Narration Support/Description]

targeted the boy as he split into

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

two boys, then four, eight, 16. Who's the breach? The exponentially multiplying boys cried out, spinning

[Narration Support/Description]

weapons wheeling in all directions.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

Brains, you Leptonian moron, you are. Haim yelled. The boy's eyes all widened with fear.

[Brains]

The coalescing tachyons.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

80 streams of death incinerated the youths,

[Narration Support/Description]

just as several streams from an unobserved

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

portal behind the grandfather clock incinerated everyone

[Narration Support/Description]

else in the room.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

About time.

[Narration Support/Description]

Rona watched the boy on the monitor

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

as he strolled down the snowy path, kicking at stray lumps of ice.

[Narration Support/Description]

Each snowflake assessed his state.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

Each sensor proclaimed him clean from coalescing tachyons.

[Narration Support/Description]

She picked up the rifle and pressed the button.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

The oaken door swung out. The boy walked in, a lab coat over dinosaur pajamas and a shrieker in each hand. His cybernetic brain pulsed against a cranium of glass. You're late, brains, rona said sharply, placing the rifle back on the counter. You could have mucked up the quantum membrane's integrity.

[Brains]

Sorry, Rona. You hid the place too well. Amazing you have any kind of a customer base.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

The boy holstered the guns and stopped next to the raptor.

[Brains]

Hey, lizard breath, I brought you a treat.

[Narration Support/Description]

He pulled out a crumpled stasis bag from a pocket and eased out a flattened rodent. The second the rat hit the air,

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

it started to inflate, its hind leg

[Narration Support/Description]

and an ear quivering as it returned to life.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

Nummi's jaws snapped the rat out of

[Narration Support/Description]

his hand and shook the returning life out of it. She tilted her head back and the

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

limp body slid down her long throat. A final swallow and she burped up a spray of animal hair.

[Narration Support/Description]

Brains, you glass headed imbecile.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

Rona ran a sterilizer over the polished counter.

[Narration Support/Description]

I told you to stop bringing in outside organisms. They could contaminate the bubble.

[Brains]

You worry too much.

[Narration Support/Description]

Brains went around to the casks and

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

drew himself a foaming tankard of Al. He'd bartended for Rona for years and knew his way around a bar.

[Narration Support/Description]

Worrying is what keeps us alive.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

Thank you very much for nothing.

[Narration Support/Description]

The boy took a long, appreciative swallow and wiped the foam mustache with his arm.

[Brains]

So what's the rush, Rona?

[Narration Support/Description]

An indeterminacy sensor was triggered, likely just a magnetar hiccup.

[Brains]

Want me to run some probabilities?

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

He asked.

[Narration Support/Description]

Before she could answer, a young woman

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

came through the swinging doors. A glimpse of blinking gadgetry behind her carrying a tray.

[Narration Support/Description]

Strawberry blonde hair was pulled back from a pretty face. She wore a simple white blouse, a modest skirt, and a static apron tied around her slim waist.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

Eyeing the brains of the boy, she

[Narration Support/Description]

deposited the tray of sandwiches and headed

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

back through the doors.

[Hamish Spacer]

Who's the new sweetmeats?

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

Haim asked, eyeing the still swinging doors over his tumbler. Rona's hand of adamantine bone fell on the old man's scrawny arm and squeezed enough to ensure his full attention.

[Narration Support/Description]

That's our new constant.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

I like this one.

[Narration Support/Description]

So if you're thinking of I was

[Hamish Spacer]

just yanking your chain, boss. You know me.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

I do.

[Narration Support/Description]

And if it happens again, I'll remove that stick arm of yours and feed

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

it to the plasma fire. She released his arm and went back to sanitizing the bar. Hamish massaged his arm.

[Hamish Spacer]

You have anger issues, Rona?

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

I have idiot issues.

[Narration Support/Description]

Suddenly a high pitched alarm blared and

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

Rona had her pulse rifle in her

[Narration Support/Description]

hands just as the room was bathed

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

in a brilliant green light. The Time scavengers were incinerated long before the 80 streams of death could activate.

[Narration Support/Description]

Brains clunked the empty tankard hard against

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

the countertop with a satisfied sigh.

[Brains]

What's the emergency, Rona? I almost had that bit of negative reality figured out.

[Narration Support/Description]

Sensors flagged a superposition of zeta particles. Probably just a rogue black hole, but

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

it'll have to be checked out. Would make a perfect training run for our new constant. Rona pressed a button under the counter.

[Narration Support/Description]

I have a good feeling about this one.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

A young woman walked through the sliding

[Narration Support/Description]

door and stood stiffly next to Rona,

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

her bright red hair pulled into a ponytail.

[Narration Support/Description]

She wore a simple white blouse tucked into smart jeans and clutched a large tablet with the title Open Pit Temporal Mining Procedures. She gave them a shy smile.

[Hamish Spacer]

What's your name, dear?

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

Haim asked.

[Narration Support/Description]

Lottie, sir.

[Hamish Spacer]

Where do you hail from, Lottie?

[Narration Support/Description]

Southwark, sir. London Non space. Time travel era.

[Hamish Spacer]

Like how long with us?

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

He asked.

[Narration Support/Description]

Tree monts this Lord's day.

[Hamish Spacer]

Any spatial adjustment problems?

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

A bit wobbly now and again.

[Hamish Spacer]

How do you like it here?

[Narration Support/Description]

Me da had a pub in Borough Market, so this ain't so different.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

See? She smiled nervously and glanced at Rona. The interrogation is over, Haim, rona said sharply. Time for Lottie to get back to her studies.

[Narration Support/Description]

The girl nodded and hurried out, the door hissing closed just as the barroom was bathed in a lurid green light

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

from a swirling portal, an oscillating cylinder flew out and incinerated everyone inside.

[Brains]

So where's the fire?

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

Brains asked, licking off his beer mustache.

[Brains]

I was so close to approximating the scaffolding of time.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

Rona stood behind the bar, arms folded.

[Narration Support/Description]

A decoherence has occurred in the quantum matrices. There's a temporal leak somewhere near the

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

Raptor dropped her rat and Brains pulled out his interdimensional slide rule.

[Hamish Spacer]

Boar's big ass, Rona, hamish said, glancing

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

around the small tavern.

[Hamish Spacer]

How much of this is even in the same timeline?

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

She shrugged.

[Narration Support/Description]

It's just a tiny crack or we wouldn't be here.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

You'll have to jump, find it and fix it.

[Narration Support/Description]

Brains, start calculating the cosmic ley lines.

[Brains]

Already on it.

[Hamish Spacer]

What about the constant?

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

Haim asked.

[Hamish Spacer]

You've been mum on this one, Rona.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

I have a good feeling about her.

[Hamish Spacer]

Didn't want to jinx it.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

Rhona pushed the call button.

[Narration Support/Description]

A young woman in a standard silver temporal suit stepped through the aperture between

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

the bar and the storied quantum supercomputers,

[Narration Support/Description]

the iris whirring shut.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

Bright red hair grazed her shoulders, framing an eager face.

[Narration Support/Description]

Lottie, time to meet your team.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

She nodded at Haim. This antique is Hamish Spacer, our flagistics guy.

[Narration Support/Description]

There's nothing he can't acquire in any dimension or age.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

You need it, he'll find it. A real bloodhound.

[Narration Support/Description]

Haim put the tankard down and saluted

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

her with his one good arm.

[Hamish Spacer]

At your service, lovely lady.

[Narration Support/Description]

Brains is the data cruncher.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

Rona indicated the boy, busy with various instruments and back.

[Narration Support/Description]

He computes the cosmic ley lines, the

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

quantum flux tubulars, and everything in between.

[Narration Support/Description]

His maturation has been stalled at just that age where the brain is most receptive to processing new information.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

Without all the baggage of the mature mind.

[Narration Support/Description]

It's not without its disadvantages.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

You'll be doing more than your fair share of babysitting during jumps. She turned to the dinosaur.

[Narration Support/Description]

This improbable creature is Numi, our muscle and natural sensor. Her finely honed prehistoric instincts are quicker than any man made technology.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

Nothing gets past her.

[Narration Support/Description]

The feathered raptor looked over a rat's

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

tail hanging from her toothy mouth for a moment before being sucked down her gullet like a spaghetti noodle with a snap of her jaws. Rona didn't have to explain Lottie's role. A singular being in a multiverse of duplicates, a constant, and a flux of branching time streams. She was their homing beacon.

[Narration Support/Description]

As singulars, constants were immune to the

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

quantum entanglement discontinuities inherent with space time travel. Jump more than a few timestreams without

[Narration Support/Description]

one and you risk being stranded in

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

the wrong time forever.

[Narration Support/Description]

Over the years, the team had had

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

hundreds of constants, men and women young and old, and few lasting out the month. Rona was the architect of their constants.

[Narration Support/Description]

She found them zipped through space time, eliminating their copies, and trained them.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

The more timelines and eliminating the the more potent the constant.

[Hamish Spacer]

Did you warn her about the assassins?

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

Rona Haim asked. She glared at the old grifter. Lottie knows what she needs to know.

[Narration Support/Description]

What she doesn't need is you throwing

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

her off her game.

[Narration Support/Description]

The plasma fire suddenly flared up as

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

three frothing portals opened in the ceiling.

[Narration Support/Description]

Lottie dived through the aperture just before

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

the other four were blown to smithereens. Incessantly. Tried to kill you, dear, the old grifter was saying.

[Hamish Spacer]

Unfortunately, a constant burns brighter than anything

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

in the time streams while they last. The young woman cried out and ran

[Narration Support/Description]

back through the holographic doorway just as a swirling green miasmic portal opened in the tavern's center.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

Teams of silver suited doppelgangers jostled within,

[Narration Support/Description]

weapons out, and everyone in the room was disintegrated.

[Hamish Spacer]

Curious tits.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

Rona, Hamish said, glancing around the plasma fire lit tavern.

[Hamish Spacer]

That felt weird. Are we sure this is the same timeline?

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

Numi gripped the sides of her triangle face, the deep set eyes unblinking.

[Brains]

Am I even Nomi? I'm running probability algorithms right now, brain

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

said from behind his instrument panel, his child's hands racing across the keyboards.

[Brains]

So far, no evidence of time splintering.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

Rona turned to the boy.

[Narration Support/Description]

Boson integrals. A green eruption and instantaneous combustion of

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

everything inside the tap room.

[Narration Support/Description]

Fermion integrals brains?

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

Rona asked.

[Brains]

Not good. Our stream appears vulnerable.

[Narration Support/Description]

He studied a wall of screens. Then you leave now.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

Suit up.

[Narration Support/Description]

A green dimensional rupture and total implosion.

[Brains]

Our stream is leaking temporal fluid, the

[Narration Support/Description]

boy said, studying the data from the supercomputer.

[Brains]

There's a rupture in the quantum membrane.

[Narration Support/Description]

A hundred death rays from a hundred micro portals vaporized everyone inside the bar, brains jumped up, his chair tipping and clattering to the floor.

[Brains]

We're leaking buckets of time.

[Narration Support/Description]

Everyone suit up.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

You leave now, Rona Hame said quietly.

[Hamish Spacer]

We're already suited, Lottie.

[Narration Support/Description]

Rona screamed, lunging for the pulse rifle just as the alarm started up and

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

six portals opened and fried everyone to carbon.

[Narration Support/Description]

Lottie walked through the force field, her image wavering for a moment. She wore the new liquid mercury temporal suit. Licks of red hair framed her intelligent, composed face. She walked over to the long table where Rona was tinkering with a beefy looking weapon. How goes the Obliterator of all matter?

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

She asked.

[Narration Support/Description]

Rona glanced up, pushing strands of gray

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

hair from her exhausted shiny face.

[Narration Support/Description]

It's done.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

I pity any team who goes after you guys now. Lottie picked up the surprisingly light firearm and looked it over.

[Narration Support/Description]

Great job, Rona. Now go suit up.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

The woman spun in her pneumatic chair.

[Narration Support/Description]

Do you mean it? Absolutely.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

She smiled at the older woman.

[Narration Support/Description]

You've earned it.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

You don't have to tell me twice.

[Narration Support/Description]

Rona jumped up and ran through the force field.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

The good Lord willing, lottie murmured.

[Narration Support/Description]

A moment later, Haim and Numi stepped

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

through the plasma fire hearth, chatting and laughing, their helmets retracting just in time. You two, lottie said.

[Narration Support/Description]

Did you find it?

[Hamish Spacer]

Right in that abandoned warp minefield like you said. Almost lost an arm scooping it out of that junk.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

Haim held out a phasing, pulsing donut shaped object.

[Hamish Spacer]

But what in the fractals is it?

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

Brains looked over from his holographic instrument panel.

[Brains]

It's a zero probability tokamak with non elastic properties.

[Hamish Spacer]

Thanks for nothing, kid.

[Brains]

In layman's terms, it's a perfect homing device because it doesn't exist. It's made from negative reality held together by artificial time. Can't be altered, duplicated, or destroyed. And it always returns here.

[Hamish Spacer]

So it's a constant?

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

Haim asked.

[Brains]

Exactly.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

Brains zipped up his flowing shiny suit and took the buzzy torus from him.

[Brains]

Apparently I'll invent it in another 500 years. It was Lottie's idea to extrapolate out my current research and build a sensor to find it in the future.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

Rona joined them in her newly minted liquid suit, beaming.

[Narration Support/Description]

Ready, boss Hamish?

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

Lottie asked her husband.

[Hamish Spacer]

Chronometric, gravitonic, or identified Love Brains?

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

She asked the cleverest boy ever created.

[Brains]

Interdimensional ley lines mapped Rona weapons synchronized Numi.

[Narration Support/Description]

Lottie pulled the lever and the plasma

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

fire swirled and morphed into a green miasmic portal.

[Narration Support/Description]

Let's go, team.

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

Numi leaped in first Brain's next, tucking the spinning bit of man made time into a pocket.

[Narration Support/Description]

Haim sent her an air kiss as he rolled in backward. As Rona approached, an alarm blared and she turned, her face twisted in horror. Lottie shoved Rona through the Gateway to Safety as she brought up the multi barreled antimatter disintegrator and fired round after

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

round at the rapidly multiplying green seething portals, grenades and death rays thick in

[Narration Support/Description]

the air, bottles exploding, mirrors smashing, wood

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

splintering, the portals flickering out one after the other, the teams behind them incinerated

[Narration Support/Description]

to crisps until the breaches stopped and

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

she stood alone in the raised tavern, her suit smoking and her hair singed. She ran a hand through the smoldering

[Narration Support/Description]

hair, smoothed over the holes in the

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

liquid suit, and slung the weapon over her shoulder.

[Narration Support/Description]

Then she stepped through the churning hearth to join her team for a little

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

profitable time, scavenging outside in a frozen

[Narration Support/Description]

bubble of time on some forgotten chunk of space rock. The snow fell slowly and the scarecrow trees swayed gently. Stars carpeted the sky and a dying sun dipped on the horizon, throwing long

[Narrator (Dani Daly)]

shadows over the snowy landscape in the growing evening.

[Narration Support/Description]

The modest brick buildings sign blinked on Lottie's Tavern.

[Alastair (Escape Pod Host)]

It's only the Blinovich Limitation Effect. If it happens in Dr. Who anywhere else, it's sparkling temporal distortion. And what a sparkling temporal distortion this is. I am reminded in the very best of ways of both everyone's favourite Gallifreyan and the abjectly terrifying British comic series Indigo Killing Time. That's a story about what happens when two people paid to prune time find themselves extremely pruned in return, and is officially one of those stories I was too young to read. I hope you can hear the capital letters on that, the common ground between them. The constant, if you like, is the way that characters actions both innovate and damn a temporal pincer movement, to borrow a phrase from Tenet, where you can invent the means of saving yourself in the future to save yourself in the past. Ted Logan remembering to hack his way out of the police station involving a trash can. It's a good example from Bill and Ted's excellent adventure, but that damnation runs two or three different ways here. There is the damnation that Rona inflicts on Lottie and so many other constants cheerfully pruning them out of existence to power their enterprise. There is the social damnation of being eternal retail staff, the cheerful barmaid at the end of every universe. And there is the damnation of certain 22 of knowing where your story goes, of where your story ends, of hearing it echo every time you wake up. But there is something more than that, the quiet revolution of revolution itself, change not as a force to be feared, but as an inevitable progression, the one piece of linear time you can't and shouldn't escape. You can check out, you can leave, but sometimes you end up owning the bar. But wider still is the fact that this story can be read in wildly different ways. It's an endless cycle of violent death. It's a horror story. It's a science fiction time travel adventure story. It's an elaborate revenge story. It's a story about things working out in the end. It's a story about being trapped by consequence. It's all of these things and and more. Maya's trusting us to land in the middle and swim to the side we want to, giving us the choice that their characters are perhaps denied no certainty, just hope in the face of an endless ticking clock. Nicely done everyone. Onto the subject of subscribing and support. Escape Pod has long survived on donations alone, and even those ads now subscribing through our Patreon remains the best way to ensure we can keep bringing you one story told well. And if you subscribe at the seven buck tier, you can get rid of the ads again. So if you'd like to support what we and the rest of Escape Artists do, please join our [e-mail] EA podcasts and please do that through your browser. That way you'll avoid paying the App Store fees. If you prefer another method, there are details for supporting us via Twitch, Amazon prime, ko fi and paypal on escapeartists.net or you can reach out directly by email at donationsscapeartists.net with any questions at all and someone will get back to you. Now the legal bit. Escape Art is part of the Escape artists Foundation, that's a 501c3 nonprofit. This episode is distributed under the Creative Comments Attribution Non Commission commercial no derivatives 4.0 international license. And that means you can share it and please do. We love it when you do that. But you cannot sell it and you cannot change it. If you want specifics, please check creativecommons.org and of course our music is by Daikaiju. Oh, and one last thing in the style of Columbo, or perhaps in this week's story, a Barely remember Time Loop, a skateboard is proud to say that we have part partnered with Sleepphones Headphones to provide a special Escape Pod branded set. Sleepphones are soft headphones that you can wear while you sleep. They're comfortable, they're slim. They are essentially a headband with headphones built in. So you put them on, you unplug, and you surround yourself in the sound experience you want without disturbing or being disturbed by the person next to you. They were designed by a family doctor. They provide wearable comfort that is literally music to your ears. And they are available my Gen X friends with both standard 3.5 millimeter audio jacks and Bluetooth. They're easy to clean, they're comfortable, and now they look slightly cooler than they did before thanks to the Escape Pod branded logo that you can get on the side. And you can get 10% off your order of the Escape Pod branded sleepphones if you type in the code escapepod or one word pod in block capitals at checkout. Follow the link in the show notes to sleepphones and remember escape Pod in fact all block capitals to get 10% off. We will see you next week and before then we're sending you off into the week with this quote from Tim Travers and the Time Travellers Paradox what the fuck about this day has led you to believe that anything could be impossible? We'll see you next time folks. Until then, have fun.

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