Podcast
Estrangement: Turning Pain into Peace
Hosted by Becky Kolb, Certified Life Coach specializing in estranged relationships · EN
Estrangement: Turning Pain into Peace Podcast is hosted by me, Becky Kolb, Certified Life Coach specializing in estrangement and relational loss.
This podcast is for Christian women who are estranged from a son, daughter or close loved one and who long for wholeness.
Your heart is broken. You flip between guilt, shame and feelings of unworthiness. Conversations between you replay in your head as you wonder if it was your fault or what you might have done differently.
Anger and resentment are constant emotions as you wonder how this could happen to you.
You feel distant from God and wonder if He even hears your prayers anymore. You aren’t sure how to pray or if there is a right or wrong way. I’ve been there and felt all of this. You are not alone.
And that’s where I come in. As one who has experienced estrangement on several levels, I get you. I understand the grief and heaviness that you feel.
You aren’t who your child or others may say you are. Guilt and shame keep you locked in a mental prison. And I will help you unlock the prison door and find wholeness again. You long for peace.
As your coach, I will help you:
Heal from the crippling effects of guilt and shame.
Reconnect with God and find joy again.
Learn the process of forgiveness - what it is and isn’t.
Build a meaningful life amid the estrangement.
Navigate difficult holidays.
Identify triggers and establish healthy God honoring boundaries.
Let go of the outcome and trust God with your loved one.
Discover lasting peace.
Start the process toward healing now. 📲DOWNLOAD my FREE guide - 4 Steps to Discover Lasting Peace Amid Estrangement at: 📲www.beckykolb.com/guide
My estrangement story began with a divorce and remarriage and some decisions around that. The guilt and shame was overwhelming as most of my family didn't speak to me for several years. You can read my journey with estrangement and the peace I found at https://www.beckykolb.com/meet-becky
I discovered the #1 step toward healing broken relationships and the barrier that kept me from it. You don’t have to make that same mistake.
My relationship with God was almost non-existent and I wondered if He had rejected me too. But what I discovered was His arms open wide waiting for me to come back.
I learned that you can't force reconciliation. Any attempt to change another person is fruitless. The only control you and I have is with ourselves and my podcast and coaching focus is on WHOLENESS in your heart.
I offer free no pressure, no obligation discovery calls to see if coaching is right for you. It's not...
42episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
80: How to Grieve Someone Who is Alive
3d ago00:11:29Tap to summarizeSend me a text…what do struggle with most in estrangementIf someone had told me I would be asking how to grieve someone who is alive, I would have thought them to be crazy. Yet, that’s exactly the question I had when estranged from my kids. Grieving was for the dead, wasn’t it? Grief is one of the deepest stages of emotional pain in any estrangement.In reality, although they are alive, you have lost someone you love dearly. Further, it may even include others such as your grandkids. The hardest part is that when someone dies, others grieve with you and bring comfort. In estrangement, many people do not even know you are grieving, much less come alongside and comfort you. Let’s sit together briefly and I’ll share some important aspects of grieving a loved one who is alive. My hope is it will bring comfort to you that you are not alone in your emotionally raw season. Find the full transcript for this episode plus resources for women at Estrangement: Turning Pain into Peace at beckykolb.com/80.Becky Kolb helps women with estranged relationships find lasting peace and the ability to move forward from guilt & shame, learn the process of forgiveness, rediscover God and what he says about you, develop boundaries and non-negotiables for healthy relationships. And the result is living your passion and purpose with peace and losing the weight of anger and bitterness! Contact Becky at www.beckykolb.com/contactDownload the free guide to work through Finding Peace Amid Estrangement at www.beckykolb.com/guide
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79: How to Stop Feeling like a Failure as a Mom
1w ago00:09:16Tap to summarizeSend me a text…what do struggle with most in estrangementEstrangement creates many illusions and creates a breeding ground for wrecking your value as a person and as a mother. This episode is all about how to stop feeling like a failure as a mom because in short – you aren’t. What you feel isn’t always a true assessment of reality. Reeling from a child’s decision to walk away from a relationship with you causes you to feel like a failure. Let’s flip that narrative and sit together for a few minutes. It is my hope that you walk away feeling encouraged and equipped with renewed hope and confidence in who you are. Find the full transcript for this episode plus resources for women at Estrangement: Turning Pain into Peace at beckykolb.com/79.Becky Kolb helps women with estranged relationships find lasting peace and the ability to move forward from guilt & shame, learn the process of forgiveness, rediscover God and what he says about you, develop boundaries and non-negotiables for healthy relationships. And the result is living your passion and purpose with peace and losing the weight of anger and bitterness! Contact Becky at www.beckykolb.com/contactDownload the free guide to work through Finding Peace Amid Estrangement at www.beckykolb.com/guide
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78: When God Feels Silent in Estrangement
2w ago00:10:06Tap to summarizeSend me a text…what do struggle with most in estrangementEstrangement brings so many emotional feelings and one recurrent one is when God feels silent. Prayers are offered continuously and you feel as if they are disappearing into thin air. Does God hear your prayers for your estranged loved one? Does He see your broken heart? Those are questions women ask when their heart is broken with the pain of an estranged son or daughter. Dear sister in Christ, I had those same feelings and worse. I felt that decisions I made would sentence me for life and that God was punishing me with the estrangement. That was a lie that Satan wanted me to believe and it may be something you struggle with too. Stay tuned for encouragement as I share biblical truth about God and his seeming silence. Find the full transcript for this episode plus resources for women at Estrangement: Turning Pain into Peace at beckykolb.com/78.Becky Kolb helps women with estranged relationships find lasting peace and the ability to move forward from guilt & shame, learn the process of forgiveness, rediscover God and what he says about you, develop boundaries and non-negotiables for healthy relationships. And the result is living your passion and purpose with peace and losing the weight of anger and bitterness! Contact Becky at www.beckykolb.com/contactDownload the free guide to work through Finding Peace Amid Estrangement at www.beckykolb.com/guide
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77: Recognizing the Real Loss in Estrangement
4w ago00:09:38Tap to summarizeSend me a text…what do struggle with most in estrangementEstrangement results in the loss of a relationship either temporarily or permanently. Whether it is a son, daughter, parent, sibling, or someone else, the loss is profound. You’ll grieve the good memories of the relationship that existed before estrangement. And hope for reconciliation one day. However, many women I speak with express a deep sadness with a realization that wasn’t readily identifiable at the outset. Recognizing the real loss in estrangement comes as you realize it isn’t just you and your loved one. It extends to other relationships too. But there is hope and I want to encourage you today with some truths and tips so let’s sit together for a few minutes and I hope you’ll find hope for healing. Find the full transcript for this episode plus resources for women at Estrangement: Turning Pain into Peace at beckykolb.com/77.Becky Kolb helps women with estranged relationships find lasting peace and the ability to move forward from guilt & shame, learn the process of forgiveness, rediscover God and what he says about you, develop boundaries and non-negotiables for healthy relationships. And the result is living your passion and purpose with peace and losing the weight of anger and bitterness! Contact Becky at www.beckykolb.com/contactDownload the free guide to work through Finding Peace Amid Estrangement at www.beckykolb.com/guide
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76: Balancing the Scales
Jul 100:06:41Tap to summarizeSend me a text…what do struggle with most in estrangementLast week the topic was the joy of forgiveness, and I hope you found some nuggets of truth to help you in your estranged relationship. Because forgiveness is so powerful, I have a short follow up on that subject and it’s called balancing the scales. Remember those old-fashioned scales? The kind that had two trays on either side of the stand. They were used to ensure fair trade and accurate measurements for medical compounding and baking. Lean in today with me as we apply this balancing to your estrangement from a loved one. Find the full transcript for this episode plus resources for women at Estrangement: Turning Pain into Peace at beckykolb.com/76.Becky Kolb helps women with estranged relationships find lasting peace and the ability to move forward from guilt & shame, learn the process of forgiveness, rediscover God and what he says about you, develop boundaries and non-negotiables for healthy relationships. And the result is living your passion and purpose with peace and losing the weight of anger and bitterness! Contact Becky at www.beckykolb.com/contactDownload the free guide to work through Finding Peace Amid Estrangement at www.beckykolb.com/guide
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75: The Joy of Forgiveness
Jun 2300:08:55Tap to summarizeSend me a text…what do struggle with most in estrangementJoy and forgiveness don’t belong in the same sentence. Or do they? Estrangement brings such a host of emotions. Sadness, anger, resentment, disappointment and many more. How is joy even possible when your heart is so heavy?Today I’ll share with you the joy of forgiveness and how it can set your heart free – even amid estrangement. You don’t have to reconcile or receive an apology to forgive and have joy. Joy is an acronym for something that I’ll share next. Stay with me and let’s explore this together. Find the full transcript for this episode plus resources for women at Estrangement: Turning Pain into Peace at beckykolb.com/75.Becky Kolb helps women with estranged relationships find lasting peace and the ability to move forward from guilt & shame, learn the process of forgiveness, rediscover God and what he says about you, develop boundaries and non-negotiables for healthy relationships. And the result is living your passion and purpose with peace and losing the weight of anger and bitterness! Contact Becky at www.beckykolb.com/contactDownload the free guide to work through Finding Peace Amid Estrangement at www.beckykolb.com/guide
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74: Trusting God During Estrangement
Jun 1700:08:46Tap to summarizeSend me a text…what do struggle with most in estrangementTrusting God during estrangement is essential to your mental health. However, it’s one of the hardest things to do. This child whom you’ve reared, nourished, protected and loved has chosen to walk away from you and your heart is broken. How could this happen? Every mother makes mistakes parenting her children. I made them. My mother made them. You will too. Prayer is the cry of your heart as you plead with God to soften hearts and reconcile the hurtful words and actions that have created the distance between you. What do you do when God doesn’t answer? When He seems distant too? That’s what today’s episode is all about. Thanks for joining me. Find the full transcript for this episode plus resources for women at Estrangement: Turning Pain into Peace at beckykolb.com/74.Becky Kolb helps women with estranged relationships find lasting peace and the ability to move forward from guilt & shame, learn the process of forgiveness, rediscover God and what he says about you, develop boundaries and non-negotiables for healthy relationships. And the result is living your passion and purpose with peace and losing the weight of anger and bitterness! Contact Becky at www.beckykolb.com/contactDownload the free guide to work through Finding Peace Amid Estrangement at www.beckykolb.com/guide
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73: 3 Reasons Estranged Kids Stay Silent
Jun 1000:12:22Tap to summarizeSend me a text…what do struggle with most in estrangementWhile every family story is different, I’ve discovered three reasons estranged kids stay silent. If you’ve been searching for answers and hearing crickets, you are not alone. As a mother your heart breaks when your child refuses to talk with you. The disruption in your family is overwhelming and may extend even to your grandkids. You long to know why and wonder how you can fix the problem so everything can get back to normal. These questions took a toll on my heart until I took a hard look at the three reasons I’ll share with you today. And once you understand, you can begin to shift your perspective. Furthermore, your behavior and expectations will change creating an open door for reconciliation. Thanks for joining me today. Find the full transcript for this episode plus resources for women at Estrangement: Turning Pain into Peace at beckykolb.com/73.Becky Kolb helps women with estranged relationships find lasting peace and the ability to move forward from guilt & shame, learn the process of forgiveness, rediscover God and what he says about you, develop boundaries and non-negotiables for healthy relationships. And the result is living your passion and purpose with peace and losing the weight of anger and bitterness! Contact Becky at www.beckykolb.com/contactDownload the free guide to work through Finding Peace Amid Estrangement at www.beckykolb.com/guide
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72: Take a Selfie of Your Heart
Jun 500:06:37Tap to summarizeSend me a text…what do struggle with most in estrangementIf you took a selfie of your heart right now, what would it reveal? Selfie’s have been all the rage for a while now. People risk life and limb to crawl to the highest point of a dangerous cliff to capture their smiling face with the tallest waterfall or the deepest canyon. It’s one thing to smile for the camera, but inside I can imagine these people are feeling a bit frightened about what could go wrong. Countless news articles reveal people that have slipped and fallen to an early death trying to capture that perfect selfie. It’s one thing to look good for the camera and all the world to see, but what’s going on underneath? In the heart where only you know the real emotion and pain of estrangement. Today let’s sit for a few minutes with a selfie of your heart where you’ll find some real treasures of joy and peace. Find the full transcript for this episode plus resources for women at Estrangement: Turning Pain into Peace at beckykolb.com/72.Becky Kolb helps women with estranged relationships find lasting peace and the ability to move forward from guilt & shame, learn the process of forgiveness, rediscover God and what he says about you, develop boundaries and non-negotiables for healthy relationships. And the result is living your passion and purpose with peace and losing the weight of anger and bitterness! Contact Becky at www.beckykolb.com/contactDownload the free guide to work through Finding Peace Amid Estrangement at www.beckykolb.com/guide
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71: Can I Find Peace Even Amid Estrangement?
May 2900:09:46Tap to summarizeSend me a text…what do struggle with most in estrangementPeace even in estrangement is attainable although women believe otherwise. What about you? Do you feel that your estranged relationship must be reconciled before you can have peace? I did. Obsessing over words spoken, actions taken and how a loved one could choose rejection was nonstop. You wonder if you’ll ever be normal again. I laugh about this now because what really is normal? You see, women believe they are the only one going through this painfully emotional time and we compare our abnormal to the perceived normal in others. Wherever you are, sit with me a few minutes and I’ll share how you can build a meaningful life and discover peace – even before the relationship heals. Find the full transcript for this episode plus resources for women at Estrangement: Turning Pain into Peace at beckykolb.com/71.Becky Kolb helps women with estranged relationships find lasting peace and the ability to move forward from guilt & shame, learn the process of forgiveness, rediscover God and what he says about you, develop boundaries and non-negotiables for healthy relationships. And the result is living your passion and purpose with peace and losing the weight of anger and bitterness! Contact Becky at www.beckykolb.com/contactDownload the free guide to work through Finding Peace Amid Estrangement at www.beckykolb.com/guide
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