If you've ever been called resilient when what you really needed was a hand, this episode is for you.

More info, resources & ways to connect - https://www.tacosfallapart.com/podcast-live-show/podcast-guests/malisa-hepner

Malisa Hepner has lived a lot of life. Foster care, addiction in her family, incarceration, profound loss... and she went beyond surviving to build a career helping others navigate the same kind of pain. As a therapist, speaker and podcast host, Malisa brings both clinical expertise and raw personal honesty to everything she does, including this conversation on Even Tacos Fall Apart.

We dig into what resilience actually means, because it's not about bouncing back fast or being "God's strongest soldier." Malisa talks candidly about how she used to resent that word, how it felt like people watching her drown while cheering her on. Her reframe of the word is powerful: resilience is the ability to show up authentically, find meaning in the mess and know that nothing outside of you changes your worth as a person.

Self-compassion gets a real, practical look here too. Malisa walks through how it started for her as a single decision... a decree, really... to stop tearing herself apart and start treating herself like someone worth caring for. She talks about the body-based tools she uses when grief or anxiety gets loud, how to get out of your head and into your heart in about 90 seconds, and why your brain is genuinely lying to you most of the time it feels like catastrophe.

One of the most powerful threads in this episode is vulnerability. Malisa was told by a trusted friend that she was emotionally unavailable, and she was furious! ...until she realized the friend was right. She had been retelling her trauma like it happened to someone else, using humor as armor, and calling it healing. That moment became the foundation of her podcast, Emotionally Unavailable, and a whole new chapter in her own growth.

This episode was recorded just one month after Malisa lost her son to an accidental overdose. She shows up anyway, in real time, and shares what grief is teaching her about trust, connection and asking for help. It is one of the most honest conversations we have had on this show.

If you are navigating trauma recovery, complex PTSD, perfectionism or just trying to figure out how to be a little kinder to yourself, this conversation could help.