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Podcast Host 1
This podcast is supported by the RealReal. Meet Christine. She loves shopping. And this is the sound of fashion overload. Too many fabulous things, not enough space. So Christine started selling with the RealReal.
Lauren Garrone
I've always loved collecting designer pieces, Gucci bags, Prada heels. But my style keeps evolving. Selling with the RealReal game changer. I earn more. And they do everything.
Podcast Host 1
Seriously, just drop off your items or schedule a pickup. We handle the photos, descriptions, pricing, even shipping. You just sit back and watch your items sell fast to our 38 million members.
Lauren Garrone
And I get peace of mind knowing I earn more selling with the RealReal than anywhere else.
Podcast Host 1
Exactly this. That's the sound of your closet working for you. The RealReal. Earn more, save time, sell fast. And right now you can get an extra $100 site credit when you sell for the first time. Go to therealreal.com to get your extra $100. Therealreal.com that's therealreal.com.
Lauren Garrone
I spent $40,000 on shoes. What's the matter, Morty? Great gowns. Beautiful gowns.
Chelsea Fairless
Fashion has changed.
Lauren Garrone
Hi, I'm Lauren Garrone.
Chelsea Fairless
And I'm Chelsea Fairless.
Lauren Garrone
And welcome back to the Every Outfit podcast. We are doing our monthly Sex and the City rewatch episode. This month. We've decided to do Critical Condition. Or should I say I've convinced Chelsea to do the episode Critical Condition because I don't know, it felt kind of relevant to what's going on in my life. This is the episode where, well, Chelsea, may I read to you a user submitted synopsis of this episode from IMDb go for it. Miranda feels a double failure as neither motherhood nor professional life can get her full attention and her neighbors give her dirty looks about her screaming baby. Samantha feels her own problems, such as a broken vibrator, are no less important.
Chelsea Fairless
I agree. One woman's baby is another woman's Hitachi magic wand.
Lauren Garrone
We'll get into it, but something tells me that they couldn't use Hitachi.
Chelsea Fairless
So this episode starts, of course, with a Carrie voiceover. In the life of a New Yorker, there are several unpleasant things that one will inevitably have to face. Having your purse stolen, random public urination, and seeing a gay friend's boyfriend in a Broadway review. I've actually never had the pleasure the same.
Lauren Garrone
And I feel like if we got invited to our Gay friends boyfriend's Broadway review, we would love it.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, we would. Look, I've sat through some really bad plays, standup comedy, improv, but never a Broadway review or an off off Broadway review.
Lauren Garrone
And we should say Marcus, Stanford's boyfriend is more in the background.
Chelsea Fairless
Yes, he's in the background for this beautiful performance of all that jazz. They filmed this at Joe's Pub, which I love. And Carrie is not amused. She tells Stani that she understands the three drink minimum.
Lauren Garrone
This episode might be Carrie at her most unbearable.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, but.
Lauren Garrone
But she does get her ass handed to her by several people throughout this episode. So it is justified, I would say, for sure. Like the unbearableness of Carrie is at an all time high, but like, it is justified with her comeuppance several times throughout this episode.
Chelsea Fairless
So Carrie is incapable of fully appreciating this Off Broadway review because she's thinking about her upcoming review in the New York Times for her book Sex and the City, which just came out. And writing the review is Machiko Kakutani, the longtime book critic at the New York Times. She held that role from 1983 to 2017. She has received the Pulitzer Prize for criticism. And I think half of the people that watch this probably don't realize that that's a real woman.
Lauren Garrone
It is. And thank you for saying her name, because while it's not that difficult to pronounce, I've given myself a complex of trying to say her name.
Chelsea Fairless
But I love how some people in the world of Sex and the City are real and others are fake. Like, Nina Katz is not the booker at Saturday Night Live. That's just a Sex and the City thing. Machiko Kakutani, however, actually the book critic for the New York Times.
Lauren Garrone
Absolutely. And there's a lot of fun had with her name throughout the episode. Carrie goes to the bathroom, and in the bathroom there are women lamenting at how bad the review is. And there's one woman. It's a great shot.
Chelsea Fairless
It's less about, like, how bad it is and more that there's like, no straight guys.
Lauren Garrone
There's which. As someone that has gone to Joe's Pub several times, dozens of times while I was living in New York, not a place I would associate with meeting straight men.
Chelsea Fairless
No. But, you know, Carrie overhears this one woman saying, it's fine that there's no straight guys here. We're going to go cruise the pretzel guys at the Village Square Market this.
Lauren Garrone
Weekend, which I love that this person catches herself and she's like, is that as sad as I think it is? I. And this is where Carrie, of course, jumps in and goes, if it makes you feel any better, I had a thing for the Amish guys who make hair brushes. And this is where we are introduced to Nina Katz, who comes face to face with Carrie Bradshaw knows exactly who.
Chelsea Fairless
She is because it's like she's seen a ghost. Honestly, when she sees Carrie.
Lauren Garrone
That's right. She goes, I recognize you from your column. Oh, and I went out with Aiden right after you.
Chelsea Fairless
And she gives her the face, which is really. It's not even like, subjectively, it's like over the top.
Lauren Garrone
Yes.
Chelsea Fairless
It's like a wince.
Lauren Garrone
Well, yeah. I mean, Carrie is justified that this face lives rent free in her head for the rest of the episode. Because. Yeah. I mean, it is a face of like, ooh, like, you really did a number on this person. But.
Chelsea Fairless
But I also kind of don't get it because it's like, that also reflects badly on you. Like, you dated a guy that wasn't ready to date, clearly.
Lauren Garrone
Yeah. And he did a fair amount of damage to. To her, it would seem. And this is where Carrie says, there I was worried about the New York Times when apparently I'd already been reviewed.
Chelsea Fairless
So she's telling the girls about this at the brunch spot. And Samantha's basically like, it was probably just a facial spasm.
Lauren Garrone
I know. Charlotte's like.
Chelsea Fairless
Or was that Charlotte?
Lauren Garrone
I think it was Charlotte.
Chelsea Fairless
Okay. Sorry. Yeah. It's Bell's palsy is what that is.
Lauren Garrone
Right. I love that Charlotte, ever the devil's advocate, is like, you know what? People are really sensitive about their facial spasms. And Carrie's like, it's not Belle's palsy. Yeah. I mean, again, Carrie is usually out of bounds with these types of things. But I do agree with her. Like, that is a face of, like, you up, Aiden? Real good. Which. How does Carrie not think that she didn't do any damage to Aiden when they broke up? Like, both breakups were incredibly traumatic. Like, you cheated on him and then you guys broke up, he left you, and then you left him because you didn't want to get married after he paid for your apartment in the apartment next door. Like, that's a lot to unpack.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah. And after you got fully engaged and stuff. Also.
Lauren Garrone
Yeah. To go from in a single year, like, I'm going to spend the rest of my life with this person. We're going to renovate this apartment. This is where we're going to live our lives to whatever apartment Aiden went back to where he was eating wings with Steve.
Chelsea Fairless
Meanwhile, over at Miranda's corner of the table, she's looking rough. And you know that she's going through it because she's wearing, like, the saddest sort of gray heather V neck with like cap sleeves and looks like she hasn't showered in days.
Lauren Garrone
Yeah, she's going through it in a way that I can really empathize with. Because you know what, Chelsea? Sometimes your baby won't shut the fuck up. He's not hungry, he's not teething. He just wants to scream. I'm doing everything I can, but I can't please him. If he was 35, this is when we would break up. He has issues, clearly. I'm telling you, this 13 pound meatloaf is pushing me over the edge. I feel disgusting. All of my clothes smell like barf. I don't have time to have a shower, much less get a haircut. Oh, that reminds me, I have to confirm my appointment with John Mandy at the John Mandy salon. You have no idea how hard it was to get this appointment. Hi, it's Samantha Jones. I'm calling to confirm my appointment Saturday for a cut and color with John. Thanks. Crisis averted. Charlotte, Miranda and Carrie all give like Lucille Ball level looks as Samantha's doing this because the juxtaposition of how glamorous Samantha looks in the moment and how trash Miranda looks is quite stark, let's say.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah. Also I feel like we should note that John Mandy not a real celebrity hairstylist. Don't know who this was referencing. If anyone could be John Barrett who had a salon at Bergdorf's for a long time, but we'll never really know.
Lauren Garrone
John Mandy is a good fake celebrity hairstylist name for sure.
Chelsea Fairless
And yeah, it's true. Samantha looks gorgeous in this scene. She's wearing this like fluorescent pink Leonard top that falls off the shoulder in these like teal bangles. Charlotte looks great. Also Carrie is wearing a very major junu watanabe like asymmetric. I don't know if it's like a top or a dress. It's some sort of tunic. It's in kind of like a very like trad kind of Laura Ashley esque.
Lauren Garrone
Floral and I don't think we've mentioned this before, but the irony of Miranda having a baby the previous season is that Cynthia Nixon was actually pregnant during season five as well. Cynthia Nixon and Sarah Jessica Parker were pregnant at the same time.
Chelsea Fairless
So cute.
Lauren Garrone
Although I guess that makes the postpartum look a little more natural. Do you think they told Cynthia Nixon not to cut her hair at the beginning of the season? They were like, we have a storyline for you with Miranda. You're going to look the worst you've ever looked and she was like awesome.
Chelsea Fairless
Oh I'm sure she loved it.
Lauren Garrone
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Chelsea Fairless
So meanwhile in Charlotte's world, she is getting divorced. She has found a divorce lawyer, Matthew Bloom of Bloom and Goldenblatt. Doesn't just give your heart a little flutter just to hear her say Goldenblatt without knowing that that's gonna be like her married name.
Lauren Garrone
I know they really laid down this storyline so well and we'll get into it when we meet Evan Handler for the first time. But like, yeah, who would have seen this coming?
Chelsea Fairless
This scene also made me realize that the lack of Samantha on and just like that really did change the dynamic just because Charlotte and Miranda both have kids and Carrie doesn't have kids obviously. So it makes Carrie the only person in her Friend group without kids, whereas before she had Samantha and it was just kind of a different dynamic.
Lauren Garrone
For sure. I thought you were going to say that Charlotte departs with Miranda because they're often paired off because Charlotte wants to help with the crying baby, but also get more information about Matthew Bloom because she wants to know, can he beat Bunny to a pulp? And then we're left with Samantha and Carrie, which I think those conversations, to your point of, like, in Just like that. And even we see it in Sex and the City, too. The commonality that Charlotte and Miranda have of having children without Samantha, there is kind of that void that we saw in Just like that in these conversations.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah. And in this scene, Carrie continues to spiral and Samantha says the most profound thing, which is, if I worried about what every bitch in New York was saying about me, I would never leave the house.
Lauren Garrone
This was good advice then. This is good advice. In the world of online commentary and content creation, Carrie is not someone that would survive in this social media climate. Like, if Carrie learned that there was a snark subreddit about her, like, she would end things.
Chelsea Fairless
If I learned that there was a snark forum about me, I would end things as well. And, you know, in fact, I'm gonna find an Etsy vendor to needlepoint Samantha's beautiful words on a pillow.
Lauren Garrone
I think that would be great for the studio.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah. And maybe we can sell them if they're cute. We shall see. So Charlotte is now meeting with her lawyer. She looks amazing. This, to me, might be the best she's ever looked because she's wearing a vintage Chanel like, skirt suit with, like, a low, curved neckline. But glasses, which we never see Charlotte wear glasses. Not with an outfit like this.
Lauren Garrone
No, she only wears glasses on dates with men that you think might be gay.
Chelsea Fairless
But her lawyer is so hot that she, like, immediately takes off her glasses and puts them in her little, like, I don't know what it is, some Mark Cross type structured handbag. And it's like, girl, you think he's hot? I just, like, don't think that the guys that they think are hot on Sex and the City are hot. Obviously, Mr. Big, but not this guy.
Lauren Garrone
Well, yeah, this man is no Tom Selleck or Ted Danz.
Chelsea Fairless
I don't know. But do you know what I mean, like, about the guys that look like this on Sex and the City?
Lauren Garrone
Well, I felt like this guy looked a lot like Mariska Hargitay's husband, who appears twice on Sex and the City. Or, well, appears on one episode of Sex and the City where he's the handsome Jewish guy that Charlotte is set up with but misses Harry. And then he is briefly a boyfriend of the week for Carrie during. And just like that. Like, that's what this guy looks like to me. That is a genre of man which is very classically handsome. Very. In a central casting, Gavin Newsom kind of way. So true. I'm shocked that Kyle MacLachlan never came back to the series. We've done the season finale of season five, I Heart Charade, where there is a deleted scene where Trey briefly comes back in that pool scene in the Hamptons. But I was always shocked that he was not present for his own divorce. I don't know if that was a scheduling issue. I don't know if that was more of a storyline they wanted to tell where Charlotte is. Instead of divorcing, Trey is really divorcing Bunny.
Chelsea Fairless
Well, yeah. Who does she think bought that apartment?
Lauren Garrone
Well, as we learn in this scene, Bunny McDougal has been very busy hiding assets to make sure Charlotte gets nothing. And as we've always pointed out for many years, the apartment that Charlotte wants from this divorce was not Trey's to give her. Even though Trey verbally said, you can have the apartment, it turns out Charlotte's name is nowhere on the deed for. For that apartment.
Chelsea Fairless
Charlotte is truly such a grifter for this. And yes, we've talked about this many times, but it's like, imagine marrying someone without fucking them. Then you find out they have erectile dysfunction, get divorced after a year, had no kids with this man, and you think that you're entitled to the apartment that has been in his family for.
Lauren Garrone
Like, 10,000 years because he said you could have it.
Chelsea Fairless
Also, they had a prenup. She was worth a million. But was that contingent on kids? Like, what was that about? Because this apartment is worth way more than a million dollars, for sure.
Lauren Garrone
I believe the million dollars was to be dispersed if they got divorced after five years, again, at best, they were married for two years. I mean, this is a Jennifer Lopez length of a marriage.
Chelsea Fairless
It's weird how they rationalize this to us, the viewer.
Lauren Garrone
Well, there's a deus tre machina that happens at the end of this episode, which is the reason she gets the apartment. This is not good lawyering that gets her the apartments.
Chelsea Fairless
So throughout all of this, Charlotte is very distracted by how hot her lawyer is. And then she sees Harry come in, this ugly piece of shit played by.
Lauren Garrone
The actor Evan Handler, character actor at this point, he had been in an episode of Six Feet under, amongst many other things. But the brilliance of this casting is, at the time, you never thought that this was going to be Charlotte's love interest. Especially because he is introduced in the grossest way possible. Right. He's a bit of a brood. He comes in, he's sweating. He's in the conference room just because he wants to get a bagel. He, you know, put some cream cheese on it, takes a gigantic bite, and then nearly spits it out and goes, who the hell ordered blueberry bagels? Which he is correct about. Blueberry bagels are evil.
Chelsea Fairless
Isn't that Cynthia Nixon's bagel order? Remember that? It was so psycho. And she got, like, so much shit for it when she was running for governor because of her bagel order. What was it?
Lauren Garrone
Oh, no. A cinnamon raisin bagel. So that I sanction with cream cheese. That's fine. And lox.
Chelsea Fairless
Lox, yeah.
Lauren Garrone
Excluding capers, onions, and tomatoes. Yeah. Cause why would you want that?
Chelsea Fairless
Well, at least she did that. So she sees Harry and then is like, okay, I guess I'm going to switch lawyers. And we get an end just like that, where it's basically like. And just like that, Charlotte changed lawyers. What did she say to the hot guy? What was her reason?
Lauren Garrone
I mean, she does ask him. She's like, is he a killer, too? And he nods more. What I want to know is, do you think that Harry Goldenblatt, like, exercised his partnership from Matthew Bloom? Like, how weird is it for Matthew Bloom of blooming Goldenblatt to be like, So I was this woman's divorce lawyer. She fired me for Harry Goldenblatt, and then they got married. And now every Christmas and occasionally at the office when she drops by, I have to make nice.
Chelsea Fairless
So weird.
Lauren Garrone
Do you think Charlotte ever admitted to Harry, Like, I switched to you? Not because you were a better lawyer. I just wanted to fuck Matthew so badly.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, it's true. Like, she would have to explain herself at some point. This woman's crazy.
Podcast Host 1
This podcast is supported by the Real Real. Meet Christine. She loves shopping. And this is the sound of fashion overload. Too many fabulous things, not enough space. So Christine started selling with the RealReal.
Lauren Garrone
I've always loved collecting designer pieces. Gucci bags, Prada heels. But my style keeps evolving. Selling with the RealReal. Game changer. I earn more. And they do everything.
Podcast Host 1
Seriously, just drop off your items or schedule a pickup. We handle the photos, descriptions, pricing, even shipping. You just sit back and watch your items sell fast to our 38 million members.
Lauren Garrone
And I get Peace of mind knowing I earn more selling with the RealReal than anywhere else.
Podcast Host 1
Exactly this. That's the sound of your closet working for you. The real real. Earn more, save time, sell fast. And right now, you can get an extra $100 site credit when you sell for the first time. Go to therealreal.com to get your extra hundred dollars. Therealreal.com that's therealreal.com.
Chelsea Fairless
So, over in the meatpacking district, Samantha's vibrator has broken.
Lauren Garrone
I do love the Carrie voiceover discussing Samantha's grueling day, which included a leg, eyebrow, and bikini wax look. That is a grueling day.
Chelsea Fairless
A leg wax. Absolutely.
Lauren Garrone
A bikini wax.
Chelsea Fairless
A leg wax is worse than. I mean, to be fair, I've never had my legs waxed. I've only had bikini wax. But I imagine just like, given the amount of ground that you have to cover the shin.
Lauren Garrone
Well, as we learn in a different episode, Samantha's getting her bikini waxed every other week.
Chelsea Fairless
Babe, she doesn't even know that laser hair removal is just right around the corner.
Lauren Garrone
Which I guess laser hair removal had such good marketing that it just made electrolysis go away. But actually, electrolysis will take all your hair away. Lasering your hair. You do need to go back in for maintenance.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, but, like, every couple years or something.
Lauren Garrone
Depends on how hairy you are.
Chelsea Fairless
How often do you have to go in for maintenance?
Lauren Garrone
I haven't. To be fair, I haven't gone in in a while, but I need to go back for another round of bikini lasering.
Chelsea Fairless
We can go together. It's been a while for me too.
Lauren Garrone
Here's the undercurrent of the episode, right? Which is, if your friend has a baby, are you allowed to care about the same stupid bullshit that you did before? And the answer is yes, because I agree with Carrie's voiceover. This is a grueling day. Like, this is a. Like, people make fun of the Kardashians and they're like, they don't do anything all day. It's like, I'm sorry, keeping up with their bodies is their work. Yeah, that is work for sure. Being wrapped in plastic and having to sweat two pounds off in between skims meetings. That takes a of dedication. Anyway, so Samantha decides to reward herself.
Chelsea Fairless
With some masturbation and her vibrator dies. It made the saddest little noise.
Lauren Garrone
So, yeah, they have created a fake Hitachi. Clearly, the vibrator that she is using purchased from the Sharper Image, has to be the Hitachi. I'm sure they could not get clearance from Hitachi, because I'm sure Hitachi doesn't want to be known as a vibrator company.
Chelsea Fairless
Well, yeah. And even if you look on the box of a Hitachi, they pretend it's a B back massager. Like, that's the whole thing. They've never once marketed this product as a vibrator ever to this day. But also, Samantha's vibrator is from Sharper Image, which also sold a lot of vibrators.
Lauren Garrone
This has to be a real storyline from someone in the writer's room. We should say that this episode was written by Alexa Jung. She only wrote one episode of Sex and the City. This one. So perhaps this came from her own life. But she wrote or was a part of nearly 50 episodes of Friends.
Chelsea Fairless
That's cool.
Lauren Garrone
So she knows how to deal with an ensemble. And there is so much plot in this episode. It really made me realize what we witness in this episode in just 22 minutes, would truly have been a season and a half of storylines for. And just like that.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, you're right. So over at Miranda's house, she is going through it. Her baby will not stop crying, and now her neighbor is pissed at her.
Lauren Garrone
They do this from time to time, Chelsea. They just cry and cry. There's nothing you can do. I do like how Miranda is apologetic at first and then immediately snaps into Karen mode and is like, look, I apologize. I have a kid. And this neighbor is like, yeah, I do, too. If you ever stop to say hello, you would know that.
Chelsea Fairless
Well, this scene is really interesting because there is a bit of a racial element to it. And, like, in New York, it's not uncommon for white people to move into, like, a predominantly black or Latino neighborhood and then just not talk to any of their neighbors. But also, I don't think you should have to know everyone in your building. Like, that's not realistic, given the size of this apartment building. Although I do think that people that aren't friends with anyone in their building are psychos for sure.
Lauren Garrone
And we'll learn in a later brief scene. There seems to be a whole group of mothers that live within this building that seemingly Miranda just has never noticed before.
Chelsea Fairless
Well, it's like, did you try and talk to Miranda? I guess.
Lauren Garrone
Well, the thing about New York, although it's been a while since I've lived there, you would think that Miranda, once she became pregnant and through those nine months, would have noticed the people in her building pushing strollers, at the very least to be like, what's that stroller? Where'd you give birth? What birthing classes did you take? All of my friends are single and obsessed with their exes and vibrators.
Chelsea Fairless
So the next day, Carrie gets her New York Times review. She runs out in her nightgown and like a hoodie to collect it from the newsstand.
Lauren Garrone
Did you notice, as a reference, I imagine, to the voiceover in the beginning, there's a man pissing in the corner?
Chelsea Fairless
Yes, of course. But the magazines on the newsstand were really a window into a time that no longer exists.
Lauren Garrone
I'm so glad you mentioned this because this scene is maybe 10 seconds long. And I paused and looked at all of the magazines for like a few minutes because I remember all of these magazines that you see so clearly. So they shot this in the summer of 2002. I know this because the magazines you see at this Newsstand are the June 2002 issues. We've got Jennifer Lopez on the COVID of Elle, Ashley Judd on the COVID of Vogue, which is their summer issue, which we learn in addition to Ashley Judd and her sexy style, we also learn 40 designers vacation secrets. We also have Sarah Michelle Gellar on the COVID of InStyle, which I definitely bought. And something I do not remember, but what a time. Johnny Knoxville on the COVID of Details magazine.
Chelsea Fairless
That era of Details, honestly made me.
Lauren Garrone
Pretty sad when it was like a full men's magazine.
Chelsea Fairless
It, like had a very metrosexual period, especially around that time. Yeah, I mean, I'm obviously an old school Details fan. I was horrified when they turned it into a men's magazine.
Lauren Garrone
Do you want to tell people what Details magazine used to be? Because until you told me, I was unaware that it wasn't a men's magazine.
Chelsea Fairless
Well, it was more of a nightlife and culture and fashion magazine. There was a lot of street fashion. Bill Cunningham took a lot of photographs in old school issues of Details, and they would do these lavish Bill Cunningham issues whenever it was fashion month. But yeah, it was the best. This Details I don't fuck with.
Lauren Garrone
Although I did look up the Johnny Knoxville editorial quite good.
Chelsea Fairless
And was it like who shot it? Was it like Terry Richardson?
Lauren Garrone
It wasn't. No. No, to your point. Very metrosexual, very black and white, moody photography.
Chelsea Fairless
Wait, did we talk about the Mademoiselle?
Lauren Garrone
No.
Chelsea Fairless
Mademoiselle Diva down. She's been down for a while now.
Lauren Garrone
I couldn't figure out who was on the COVID of that.
Chelsea Fairless
I mean, to be fair, I don't think I ever lived through an era where Mademoiselle was good Maybe it happened before I was born or before I started reading magazines, but I never really got that. Or actually, I guess I have some of the ones from the 70s that were kind of fab.
Lauren Garrone
But you know what? In this bleak publishing landscape, I would love to live in a world again where Mademoiselle could suck and still exists as a magazine.
Chelsea Fairless
It seems like Allure is hanging on by a thread.
Lauren Garrone
Can we get into the funniest magazine?
Chelsea Fairless
I can guarantee which one it is? Do you want to say the Yahoo magazine?
Lauren Garrone
That's right, folks. In 2002, there was a time where the Internet required a magazine to tell you about what websites to go to. Because this cover of Yahoo. Internet Life was all about the web's funniest sites.
Chelsea Fairless
Are you just reading the COVID lines?
Lauren Garrone
I am, yeah. The best comic links, email forwards, parodies, animations.
Chelsea Fairless
Wow.
Lauren Garrone
Anyway, Carrie's book review, she got a rave. Did she though?
Chelsea Fairless
She did. This is the only part of the review that we hear, which is, all in all, I enjoyed spending time in Ms. Bradshaw's sharp, funny, finely drawn world where single women rule and the men are disposable.
Lauren Garrone
Right. Carrie is reading this to Miranda, who is desperately trying to put herself together before work while also attempting to be a good friend. Is this the first time that Carrie, the love and sex columnist whose book is a collection of her essays over the years, talk talking about dating various men, that she's contemplated that perhaps men are disposable.
Chelsea Fairless
It's like, of course the guys are disposable. You write about a different guy every single week.
Lauren Garrone
Of course, because Carrie has seen Nina Katz. She connects this to. Is that what I did to Aiden? Did I throw him away? And it's like, wait, hold on. Who's featured in this book? We know that Big is featured prominently in this book. You can kind of guess that random boyfriends of the week are in this book. But I never contemplated that Aiden would be in Sex and the City.
Chelsea Fairless
Of course he was. Look, obviously this isn't a fucked up thing for her to read, but Carrie being Carrie, she just has to spiral.
Lauren Garrone
But you know who's actually spiraling is Miranda, who I assume her child is going through the four month sleep regression. We don't know what's going on with Brady. It's just that he will not sleep. He just cries all of the time. Or actually, as Miranda says, last night was a good night because she got a whole hour.
Chelsea Fairless
But this is when Miranda, like, she hits her max. She can't even deal with Carrie talking about this shit anymore. And she's like, maybe you should call your girlfriend Samantha.
Lauren Garrone
Which understandably, Miranda's crash out is valid. But I never thought of this until I've watched this episode. But like, I have a lot of questions about Miranda as a working moment. Like how long was Miranda's maternity leave? I'm guessing Magda watches the child all day now.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah.
Lauren Garrone
Is Miranda pumping?
Chelsea Fairless
Well, what was that scene where she was like, I have to cut my hours way back to like 100 hours a week?
Lauren Garrone
That's the episode, per this user generated synopsis, where she is failing in her personal life and her professional life. We really don't see what's going on with Miranda's work during this episode. We just know that she's like very haggard. But yeah, I imagine that Magna is there 12 hours a day at the very least from 7 to 7, 8 to 8.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah. Miranda has a full time employee.
Lauren Garrone
Also, what is her custody arrangement with Steve like? I know in the Atlantic City episode he's watching the kid for the weekend. She references in season four that her and Steve are working out their custody agreement until the kid is like five or six or something. But I understand that Miranda right now is getting no sleep. But you would imagine if Steve is taking the baby a few days a week or whatever the custody agreement is, she could get her hair done then sleep. I'm not saying she has it better than most. I just.
Chelsea Fairless
She does have it better than most because she has a full time employee.
Lauren Garrone
That's true.
Chelsea Fairless
And a father that, you know, does love the child and want to be present for his life.
Lauren Garrone
Well, also, and someone that she can trade off full time parenting with. Jemima Kirk was recently talking about this on a podcast. And I love my husband, I love raising children. But like, it does kind of seem lit to like be a full time mom for a couple days and then have, you know, co parent with someone and then they take the kids for a couple days and then you can remember what it's like to be a single person.
Chelsea Fairless
So then we get that. I couldn't help but wonder, why is.
Lauren Garrone
It that we only seem to believe the negative things people say about us, no matter how much evidence there is to the contrary, a neighbor, a face, an ex, boyfriend can cancel out everything we thought was once true. Odd. But when it comes to life and love, why do we believe our worst reviews?
Chelsea Fairless
I don't know, Lauren, you tell me.
Lauren Garrone
I mean, I think that anyone who's put work out in the world that has a critique or criticism feels this way. I don't know why negative reviews stick out in someone's mind, but her negative review isn't the book review. It's Nina Katz's face. And it's not even a bad review of her, honestly. It's more reputational. Like, she's worried that Nina Katz has gone out into the world. And told her what, that she's a terrible girlfriend?
Chelsea Fairless
I guess. I don't know. I think criticism is hard when you feel misunderstood, certainly. But also, I don't think things really, really affect you unless you believe that there's some degree of truth. Sometimes I look at, like, our bad reviews, and I'm like, okay, okay, whatever. Then I'm like, you may be making a bit of a valid point with that one. And I'm going to take a pause and think about that.
Lauren Garrone
Yeah, I mean, look, there is constructive criticism. There's stuff that can roll off one's back. Like, I hate you guys talking about the Kardashians. The stuff that affects me are people who truly listen to our podcast and, like, develop a different narrative.
Chelsea Fairless
Well, everyone has different experiences in life, and it's hard for people to not personalize things that they hear.
Lauren Garrone
Yeah. And I think there's also a different climate that exists that I don't think Carrie Bradshaw has the stomach for, which is the parasocial relationship. What is interesting about this episode is it feels like Carrie has never contemplated up until this moment that people might not like her.
Chelsea Fairless
Right.
Lauren Garrone
And again, not because she even gets a bad book review. She does wonder if she disposed of Aiden. And it's like, well.
Chelsea Fairless
Well, you did. Yeah, I mean, you definitely did, but you also didn't want to marry him and have kids with him and stuff, so that was also the correct thing to do.
Lauren Garrone
But you would think Carrie has been able to fully process this. But, oh, no, she must talk about this more with Samantha at City Bakery. Remember City Bakery? Ugh.
Chelsea Fairless
I could cry thinking about City Bakery. It closed pre pandemic, and I went on Google Maps to see what's there now, and the space is empty.
Lauren Garrone
Oof.
Chelsea Fairless
It's just an empty city Bakery just sitting there. But there is a levain bakery across the street. And how do they bake those giant cookies all the way through and yet.
Lauren Garrone
So squishy on the inside?
Chelsea Fairless
It's not the same. That cookie is very different than City Bakery because, like, levain is, like, a thick cookie. City Bakery is, like, let's just make the most physically, like, expansive cookie that we can.
Lauren Garrone
That was a moment in time. Like, Everything was very big. Like lattes were in soup, saucers, cookies were gigantic. Everything was bigger.
Chelsea Fairless
City Bakery was great. And it just sucks that all of those great places around Union Square, like coffee shop are now gone and replace.
Lauren Garrone
With banks or remain empty. Yeah, this does feel like a place that I don't know. I wouldn't take Samantha Jones to. Samantha Jones is not someone I associate with like large baked goods and consuming them, which she says as much. She goes, I'm not eating dessert this week.
Chelsea Fairless
Well, you can get anything at City Bakery, though. That's the whole point. You know, she'd get like a cup of soup or something.
Lauren Garrone
And Carrie is able to con her into eating a brownie in exchange for doing something for Carrie.
Chelsea Fairless
In exchange for reaching out to Miranda and being less of a cunt about the fact that she's had a child.
Lauren Garrone
I mean, I'm kind of on Samantha's side. Like, Samantha's correct. Babies are not her scene.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah. And she is generously offering to take him out for a drink and flirt with his friends when he's in college.
Lauren Garrone
Okay, I wanted to get into this because this has echoes of the canceled Sex and the City 3 film. Right. Because the plotline for Samantha was that Brady was going to accidentally send her nudes.
Chelsea Fairless
I don't think it was an accident.
Lauren Garrone
He purposely.
Chelsea Fairless
And I thought, yeah, I thought he purposefully sent her a dick pic.
Lauren Garrone
So Brady, who at that time, correctly would have been a minor, sends his aunt unsolicited dick pics.
Chelsea Fairless
We'll never know what could have been.
Lauren Garrone
And you wonder why Kim Cattrall didn't want to be a part of this project. So Samantha is like, no can do. I have a very busy day. I have a hair appointment and I'm returning a vibrator before that. I have to say I did want to do this episode because it is reflective of what's going on in my life. But you nor any of my friends are not the Samantha in my life. I realized, do you know who the Samantha to my Miranda is in my world right now?
Chelsea Fairless
Who?
Lauren Garrone
It's my own mother.
Chelsea Fairless
I could see that.
Lauren Garrone
My mother. And God bless her, okay. She worked 40 years in the corporate world. Quite Miranda esque. Worked like 50, 60 hour weeks. She has earned her retirement. But I have often been holding a crying baby. And she's like, how can I help? And I'm like, well, do you want to come over? I don't know, tomorrow afternoon? She's like, no can do. I have Pilates. And then I have to go get A facial. I gotta get my nails done.
Chelsea Fairless
Grandma has priorities and there's nothing wrong with that.
Lauren Garrone
And I love this for her.
Chelsea Fairless
But, yeah, she probably doesn't want to be called Grandma. What's her chosen name?
Lauren Garrone
She doesn't mind the moniker of Grandma, but we sort of settled into Gigi.
Chelsea Fairless
Well, that sounds chic.
Lauren Garrone
Yeah, she's a Gigi. Will she ever see her grandson? Hard to say. She's pretty booked.
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Chelsea Fairless
So Kerry runs into her work acquaintance.
Lauren Garrone
From Vogue, Julia Afton, who. It's always been in the back of my mind, the way that this woman says, referring to Carrie, she gets to run in and out once a month while I'm chained to the hem of Anna Winter.
Chelsea Fairless
It's true. The delivery of that line is so insane and campy. And then she kind of does a little, like, chuckle, you know, at the end of it.
Lauren Garrone
I thought this woman was putting on a British accent, but I think she might be British.
Chelsea Fairless
She's cool. I'm into it. And she's friends with Nina Katz, apparently.
Lauren Garrone
Well, yes. We finally put a name to the face. And that name is Nina Katz, who.
Chelsea Fairless
Samantha knows because she's the booker at Saturday Night Live.
Lauren Garrone
Well, of course. So this makes Kerry spiral even more because she's like, great. Not only will this face, the Nina Katz face, be all over snl, it will now be all over the offices of Vogue. And I'm like, carrie, do you think the shit talking about you and Aiden is just beginning? Like, Nina Katz dated Aiden a year ago. She definitely was talking about Aiden and how fucked up he was about his ex. Fiance. You know, the famous New York love and sex call, Ms. Carrie Bradshaw. Like your fear of this gossip has been going on for a year already.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, it's true. Although no one gives a shit at Saturday Night Live. That's where she's being delusional. Like, who's she telling that to that would care?
Lauren Garrone
Well, as we learn later, perhaps Gwyneth Paltrow or an Ian McKellen. So now we have Samantha returning her vibrator to the Sharper Image.
Chelsea Fairless
Did you ever go in that store?
Lauren Garrone
I didn't. I didn't even realize this is how popular Sharper Image was. That it could be across the street from Bergdorf Goodman.
Chelsea Fairless
I thought it was in Rockefeller Center. Maybe there were multiple locations.
Lauren Garrone
Probably. But you see Bergdorf's in the background.
Chelsea Fairless
I only went to the Rockefeller center location of the Sharper Image.
Lauren Garrone
The Sharper Image to me is that's a catalog that was delivered to my parents home throughout my childhood.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, my parents never got that. But I don't know, I found it fun to just go in there and look at things. I don't think I ever bought anything from there.
Lauren Garrone
Well, when people talk about the missing third spaces, they're talking about just walking around a Sharper Image and not buying anything. Which is probably why the Sharper Image went out of business.
Chelsea Fairless
Exactly. So she then has a very beautiful interaction with a Sharper Image employee.
Lauren Garrone
Can I help you? Yes, I'd like to return this vibrator. We don't sell vibrators. Yes, you do. I bought it here six months ago. That's not a vibrator. It's a neck massager. No, it's a vibrator. Sharper Image doesn't sell vibrators. It's an EC Massage massager. You expect me to believe that women buy these to help their sore necks? It's a neck massager. Fine. I'd like to return this neck massager. What's wrong with it? It failed to get me off. It has a warranty and it just stopped. Made the saddest little sound. Perhaps you wore it out. Well, honey, it wouldn't be the first one.
Chelsea Fairless
I love her so much.
Lauren Garrone
Not that this matters, but do we think the sales associate is a gay man?
Chelsea Fairless
I don't know. Could go either way.
Lauren Garrone
While I love this, are we to believe that Samantha is not going to Toyland?
Chelsea Fairless
It was Babes in Toyland.
Lauren Garrone
I mean, Samantha is such a connoisseur. I'm sure she's going to both places, but it's just funny that she would go to a luxury consumer electronics store to get her vibrator. But again, I'm sure this is based on something that happened to a writer. Yeah, I love this interaction that Samantha has with some other patrons who were clearly looking for a sexual wellness aid at the Scharmer Image as well. Oh, you don't want that one. Too many bells and whistles. That one actually works against you. If we wanted to work that hard, we'd get us a man. Am I right? Samantha instantly established herself as the Machiko Kagutani of vibrators.
Chelsea Fairless
I think that one actually is a back massager.
Lauren Garrone
Not if you mount it. No, absolutely not. That will burn your clit off. Even with underwear. Even with ski pants.
Chelsea Fairless
So good. That one will burn your clit off is one of her best moments.
Lauren Garrone
I could have used a Samantha Jones sex montage of her just using all of those vibrators that she's critiquing.
Chelsea Fairless
So back at Miranda's, the baby is still crying.
Lauren Garrone
Can I just tell you that I. I turned the volume all the way down. I was like, I don't need a cinematic portrayal of a baby crying. And do not, do not do a baby cry right now, Chelsea.
Chelsea Fairless
I won't. So Miranda's neighbor Kendall knocks on the door with the chair, the oscillating chair.
Lauren Garrone
It's not even oscillating. It just. It vibrates.
Chelsea Fairless
Well, what are these chairs called then?
Lauren Garrone
I don't know what that is because there's not a version of that that exists now. There is a snoo, which is an oscillating bassinet for a baby. There's also various swings that move around that you can put a baby in.
Chelsea Fairless
But there's not like a little bounce. No, your baby has a bouncy chair thing.
Lauren Garrone
Yeah, but it's not powered.
Chelsea Fairless
Right.
Lauren Garrone
It's powered by his own body. Like, I think this is a made up device to work with the episode and what happens with Samantha.
Chelsea Fairless
But yes, you could always just grab a Hitachi and see if it enhances the experience.
Lauren Garrone
I've definitely thought about it. So, yeah, her neighbor decides to have a heart and is like, you know what? You're not a bad mother. We all suck at this. And you didn't know about the chair. So here you go.
Chelsea Fairless
And Miranda finally knows her name, Kendall.
Lauren Garrone
Although for a second, like us, she's like, wait, what's her name again?
Chelsea Fairless
See, I'm so bad with names. That scenario is literally my nightmare.
Lauren Garrone
Her neighbor Kendall makes a point where she's like, don't you have Any friends who are mothers? She goes, no, I'm the only one. And then she just goes, oh, you're screwed. She's like, no, they've been very helpful. And then Kendall goes, if they don't have kids, they don't have a clue. And I was thinking about that, and I don't think that's true. I actually think if you don't have a child, you can understand what having a baby is like, but a very specific set of circumstances. My best friend Danielle was taking care of her elderly dog over the summer, who sadly passed on. But we realized that caring for an elderly dog is very similar to having an infant. You don't sleep at night. You're constantly worried if they're breathing or not. You and your partner have to switch off taking care of them. Like, my friend Danielle walked through my home and she was like, I could only be here for a couple of hours. I'm like, same. So, yeah, I think that actually if you don't have a child, but you've taken care of a sick dog, that's exactly what having an infant is like.
Chelsea Fairless
Well, you don't have to have a child to have done a significant amount of child care also. And some people have more experience with that than others. Also, I feel like we should mention the actress that plays Miranda's neighbor was on the Practice. Did you ever actually watch that?
Lauren Garrone
No, I never actually watched the Practice. I feel like I would always see commercials of, like, next week on the Practice.
Chelsea Fairless
I did watch the Practice, but I dipped in and out. More of an Ally McBeal person. But, you know, I dabbled both David E. Kelly shows.
Lauren Garrone
I love a man who was a lawyer and was like, you know what? I got dreams of Hollywood. Guess what? I'm just gonna write lawyer show after lawyer show after lawyer show, and like, 15 years later, I will write big little lies. Anyway.
Chelsea Fairless
No, he's a genius, for sure. And Ally McBeal in particular is one of those shows that like Sex in the City. If I could live in that show.
Lauren Garrone
I would remember how it was so controversial that there was a mixed sex bathroom in the offices.
Chelsea Fairless
An all gender bathroom.
Lauren Garrone
That one. Yes.
Chelsea Fairless
And I'm sure it would be equally controversial today.
Lauren Garrone
Yeah, I guess. Especially for a law office. Maybe don't do that around a bunch of lawyers. Highly litigious folk. Anyway, this episode is a prime example as to why Samantha would have never moved to London because Carrie let her go from being her book publicist. And Samantha was all hurt that she wasn't being paid by Carrie anymore. Because Carrie's like, hey, why don't you call your friend? And Samantha does one better. Shows up in Miranda's apartment. And I would say, rather foolishly, is like, you know what? You go take my hair salon appointment. I will watch this baby for several hours.
Chelsea Fairless
Here I am, Mary fucking Poppins.
Lauren Garrone
This is really above and beyond.
Chelsea Fairless
For sure.
Lauren Garrone
So this is where we get Carrie calling Samantha because the chair has broken immediately after Miranda leaving and the baby won't stop crying. Carrie calls her because she's prompted by watching an old SNL episode on E. Remember those Days? And sees what I will say is a rather impressive Nina Katz graphic during the SNL end credits. You would believe that Nina Katz really does work for Saturday Night Live.
Chelsea Fairless
And then she calls Samantha to just unload. Like, do you think she's trashing me to, say, a Gwyneth Paltrow or an Ian McKellen? It's great reversal.
Lauren Garrone
I think you're right. I don't think anyone at SNL would care about Nina Katz's dating drama.
Chelsea Fairless
No. Unless, like, you have a friend that also works at SNL that also reads Carrie's column.
Lauren Garrone
Like, I wonder if Nina Katz is based on. Remember Lindsey Shook his who dated Ben Affleck right after he dated Jennifer Garner?
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah.
Lauren Garrone
Then people cared about an SNL producer's dating life, but other than that, I don't think so. Only when they date celebrities.
Chelsea Fairless
So Charlotte's divorce is happening. It's the big day. She's there, Bunny is there. Their lawyers are hashing it out.
Lauren Garrone
Frankly, I'm on Bunny's side because I love that what she's willing to offer Charlotte is Trey's mint condition silver buffalo coins, which, honestly, given the perceived wealth of this family and the length of time that Charlotte was married to Trey, probably what she deserves.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, why not?
Lauren Garrone
Certainly not a multi million dollar apartment.
Chelsea Fairless
The costuming in this scene is so brilliant because Charlotte and Bunny are both wearing black, but Bunny has a triple strand of pearls and Charlotte has a mere single strand. So she's being dominated by this woman through jewelry, of course.
Lauren Garrone
Also, is this even possible? Can a lawyer. Fuck it. Tell us. Can the spouse's mother advocate on his behalf during a divorce proceeding?
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, let us know, because we know.
Lauren Garrone
That Trey is in Scotland and I believe we learned in a previous episode. I don't think it's this episode, but it's like some equivalent to Doctors Without Borders, but like in Scot. So he could also play golf and.
Chelsea Fairless
Commune with his ancestors, I guess.
Lauren Garrone
So.
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Lauren Garrone
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Podcast Host 1
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Lauren Garrone
And I get peace of mind knowing I earn more selling with the RealReal than anywhere else.
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Chelsea Fairless
So buddy and Charlotte are arguing, getting into it, and a telegram arrives. How old school.
Lauren Garrone
I remember watching this when this episode came out, and I was like, would this happen? I think Trey could just send an email. But I think the. The structure of a telegram where you have to write stop at the end of the sentence is why Trey said something so old school as a telegram.
Chelsea Fairless
Do you want to read the telegram?
Lauren Garrone
Charlotte York was a wonderful wife. Stop. She did nothing wrong. Stop. Give her everything she wants. Stop. Seriously, mother, stop. Then we hear Carrie say, that's the thing about reviews. Sometimes when you least expect it, you get a rave. I don't think that Trey has ill feelings towards Charlotte.
Chelsea Fairless
No.
Lauren Garrone
I think to this day, and we never got it on in just like that, but I think he cares for Charlotte deeply. And that's something that Bunny and Charlotte get into in this scene where, you know, it's this idea of, like, well, Trey gave me his word that I would get the apartment. And Bunny's like, well, you gave him your word. Till death do us part. But, like, what was Charlotte supposed to do? You imagine that Bunny has some idea of her son's erectile dysfunction issues, but they were able to overcome that. The issue really comes down to they couldn't have a child. Trey didn't want to adopt, so what were they to do?
Chelsea Fairless
So back in crazy Carrie's world, she has forced Steve to meet up with her. This is so dark and depraved.
Lauren Garrone
She has summoned Steve, we imagine, from Queens to the Upper east side, won't let him in her apartment.
Chelsea Fairless
They're just having a casual stoop hang. And then she immediately starts grilling him for information about Aiden and the breakup.
Lauren Garrone
And well, understandably, Steve is like, are you talking to me on behalf of Miranda? I'm hanging around too much. And she's like, no, no, no, this is about Aiden. And he immediately is like, ah, she's shit. You guys are not going to get back together.
Chelsea Fairless
Which fair enough, yeah, Steve can't handle a third go around. And honestly, he should have been more vocal in opposing their reunion on end. Just like that.
Lauren Garrone
I would have loved to have seen it again. Carrie seems shocked that Aiden went through it and went through a dark time post breakup for nearly a month. Which honestly, for the amount of damage those two did to each other over the course of the relationship, I mean, that's pretty good. If he couldn't get out of bed for a month.
Chelsea Fairless
Well, it doesn't mean that he was over it after that month. It's like that's just when he got out of bed. I think being in bed for a month is really bad. As many depressive episodes as I have had, I have never been in bed for a month of my life over anything.
Lauren Garrone
All right, fair enough. Yes. A whole month where he couldn't get out of bed.
Chelsea Fairless
Mostly because I have to work.
Lauren Garrone
Well, you would imagine that he would have to take Pete out to pee.
Chelsea Fairless
He's just letting Pete piss and shit freely in the apartment. That's when shit got really dark for Aiden.
Lauren Garrone
I'm very curious what the timeline is from the time that he and Carrie broke up to when he started dating Nina Katz. Because Steve's like, well, I brought him chicken wings. Like I fed him. And she's like, it was really that bad? And this is when Steve goes, yeah, he lost his ability to open up and trust women. And that doesn't seem like something that a straight man who hasn't been through a lot of therapy would say. And it's not because Steve is like, no, he never said that. That chick he dated afterwards, Nina Katz said that.
Chelsea Fairless
So Kerry knows she's been talking shit, which she should already know.
Lauren Garrone
She should already know. But is it that surprising that Aiden potentially could not open himself up and trust women? Certainly the rebound girlfriend after his fiance dumped him for the second time. Or I guess technically Aiden left her first. But like, you cheated on him and then you left him after he proposed again.
Chelsea Fairless
I think this reflects just as poorly on Nina Katz.
Lauren Garrone
Because she chose to be the rebound girl to Ada.
Chelsea Fairless
Yes, because she found herself dating like a man. That was a mess.
Lauren Garrone
I also get the sense that Aiden couldn't go two weeks despite being in bed for a month. I don't think he could go two weeks without being with a woman. Like, I get that vibe from him.
Chelsea Fairless
Oh, for sure.
Lauren Garrone
Also because.
Chelsea Fairless
Classic codependency pattern. Sorry, I've just been reading all the way to the river, so it's very much on my mind these days.
Lauren Garrone
Also because in this timeline, Aiden would have to be with Kathy already because the top of season six, he's had Tatum. That's the first one. Tater Tot.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, Tate.
Lauren Garrone
Tate. He might even be married to Kathy at this point.
Chelsea Fairless
Right, Good point, by the way.
Lauren Garrone
No questioning of, like, is Aiden doing okay now? She's like a heat seeking missile. Like, I must find Nina Katz. So therefore, she goes to the one place she knows Nina Katz would be.
Chelsea Fairless
Which is the Village Square Market with the pretzel guys.
Lauren Garrone
Okay. Does Carrie think that Nina Katz is there? What, every Sunday, every Saturday. This woman works at snl, so it's.
Chelsea Fairless
A Sunday type thing for her at.
Lauren Garrone
What, 4 or 5pm Whatever. It takes a certain amount of suspension disbelief for this, but fine.
Chelsea Fairless
Well, I think what's more shocking is that Carrie is stalking this woman, which.
Lauren Garrone
I guess is in line with her character. She did this with Big's first wife. She did this, does this with Big, second wife, Natasha, several times, including an end just like that.
Chelsea Fairless
And she also did this with Big's mother.
Lauren Garrone
Yes. A better question is how many restraining orders does Carrie Bradshaw have?
Chelsea Fairless
Might I say Carrie looks amazing. This is such a classic outfit. One of the defining looks from this season, I would say, which is the green terry cloth juicy couture dress with the giant Birkin. The fake Birkin, which we later found.
Lauren Garrone
Out was fake, which makes a lot more sense.
Chelsea Fairless
And I think she has like a red strappy sandal.
Lauren Garrone
She does. Obviously, this costuming choice was to hide Sarah Jessica Parker's pregnant belly. I think they do a very good job. I wouldn't exactly associate this outfit with Carrie Bradshaw.
Chelsea Fairless
What do you mean, just like a.
Lauren Garrone
Terry cloth tube dress?
Chelsea Fairless
Well, the Birkin was strange and the.
Lauren Garrone
Birkin is to hide her stomach, which I was watching the scene and I'm like, she never really uses it to cover her stomach.
Chelsea Fairless
Well, the thing is, is that the way they shoot her in the scene, you cannot tell that she is pregnant. But if you look at the paparazzi photos from her shooting this scene, it is very, very evident that she is with child.
Lauren Garrone
I love that Carrie has a fake Birkin. So she has enlisted Stanford on This stalking mission. And Stanford very kindly asks Carrie, because clearly after the Broadway review, she must have just rattled on about Nina Katz or this face to him. So he very kindly asked, what do you think of Marcus? And this is her reply. What do you think of Marcus? It's nice. I mean, relationships are common, complicated. You can't reduce them to a face. I know that Aiden has feelings.
Chelsea Fairless
Stop.
Lauren Garrone
I am done.
Chelsea Fairless
I've listened to you talk about aiden.
Lauren Garrone
For what, 10 blocks and two years? And I've been a wonderful audience. And I ask you about my Marcus and all I get is nice? I'm sorry, Carrie, how many religions relationships have I been in since you've known me? Real or imaginary?
Chelsea Fairless
What a.
Lauren Garrone
Come on. Your opinion means a lot to me.
Chelsea Fairless
You're my Machiko cocka matzah.
Lauren Garrone
So now what?
Chelsea Fairless
You want me to review your relationship?
Lauren Garrone
Immediately, if not sooner. Okay, well, I like that he makes you happy. In my memory, there's only a handful of times where people call Carrie out on her shit. Like, I think of the episode in season two where Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha are like, you get to talk about Big for two more minutes, and then we're gonna tell you to go to therapy. And then this moment with Stanford.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, it's good that he's asserting his boundaries with her, but it's upended almost.
Lauren Garrone
Immediately because she's like, well, I think he's nice. And then she immediately sees Nina Katz.
Chelsea Fairless
And Nina Katz is with Heather Graham, who was at a career high during this era, I would say.
Lauren Garrone
So whenever I rewatch this episode, I realize that I've Mandela affected myself because I always think that it's Gwyneth Paltrow that she's walking with. And that's because Gwyneth Paltrow's name is uttered in this episode. But no, it's Heather Graham.
Chelsea Fairless
Heather Graham as herself.
Lauren Garrone
Heather Graham coming off of the sequel to Austin Powers.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, I think that would have been her last big movie. But still, this episode is from what, 2002?
Lauren Garrone
Yes.
Chelsea Fairless
So even Boogie Nights was like, not. I mean, five years before. Not a crazy long time. So Nina, correctly, is like, wow, Carrie, one more time and I'm gonna think you're stalking me. It's like she literally is. She knew where you were going to be because you overheard your conversation, and now she's stalking you.
Lauren Garrone
So Carrie's like, can we. Can we talk over here for a moment? And if I'm Nina Cats, I'm like, no, I'm good. I'm here with Heather Graham.
Chelsea Fairless
Well, now I really think that you've stopp.
Lauren Garrone
Oh, wait, Carrie, have you come here to have words with me? Carrie, it's not that I've been living rent free in your head for the last week, is it? Also, don't you have a book coming out soon?
Chelsea Fairless
So Carrie basically says breakups are personal and private, blah, blah, blah.
Lauren Garrone
And I would have never done anything to deliberately hurt him. It's like, sorry, Nina, I accidentally hurt him. And she correctly is like, okay, yeah.
Chelsea Fairless
She doesn't give two shits.
Lauren Garrone
Well, I think at least I took that okay as like, you've just made this way worse. Oh, my God. It reminds me of a conversation you and I had years ago where you said something, I forget what it was. And then you went on to a different topic, and it, like, lived rent free in my head for like a couple minutes. And I was like, you don't really think that, do you? And you're like, oh, my God, are you still thinking about this? If I'm Nina Katz, I'm like, I'm sorry, have you been thinking about this for the last week? Like, I don't know, I feel like whatever trauma Nina Katz had from dating Aiden, and probably Aiden talking about Carrie non stop during their relationship, is healed by the fact that, like, Nina Katz and that face that she purposely made to fuck with Carrie did what it was supposed to do.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, and I think that Nina Katz's indifference to her whole speech is just supposed to illustrate that Carrie is the one with the problem.
Lauren Garrone
Well, as she says in her voiceover, suddenly I realized the critic I was most afraid of wasn't Nina Katz. It was me. The truth is, at any given moment, someone somewhere could be making a face about you, but it's the reviews you give yourself that matter. Said every podcaster, comedian, actor, director, content creator ever. Doesn't matter what other other people say. It's just matters what I say about myself. Wait, did we not discuss when Miranda comes back from the John Mandy salon?
Chelsea Fairless
Oh, yeah, we forgot about that. She comes back with her new hairdo.
Lauren Garrone
How do you feel about this Miranda haircut?
Chelsea Fairless
It's fine, Whatever. I've seen better. I've seen worse.
Lauren Garrone
This is where we learn that Samantha has used the vibrator to give the same vibrations of the chair. And the baby is happy and content. And Miranda is the great line that better be brand new.
Chelsea Fairless
I love when Samantha saves the day.
Lauren Garrone
She's the best. And it was brand new. What do you think Samantha's just gonna use a used vibrator?
Chelsea Fairless
She's Just carrying around like a whole ass Hitachi in her handbag.
Lauren Garrone
We also didn't discuss the moment when Samantha's yelling at the baby and she's like, what do you want? Because it reminded me of something you've said to baby Morty that has become a catchphrase in our household. Which was the baby was very fussy once and you were holding him and you just went in a sing songy voice, shut the up little baby. And so now when he won't stop crying, Paul and I just go, shut the up little baby.
Chelsea Fairless
Does it work? No, because satisfying though.
Lauren Garrone
It feels very satisfying. But yeah, I'll put the Hitachi that you gave us. I'll clean it and I'll. I'll put it in his little, his little little chair and we'll see if that does anything. Our listeners call cps.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, literally. So, yeah, that's basically where the episode ends. There is a brief scene where Carrie and Stanford are reunited and Stanford is like, holy shit, I had nothing to talk about with Heather Graham.
Lauren Garrone
So he asked her about pretzels and have you been to Bavaria?
Chelsea Fairless
Very cute. Okay, exit survey. How many Manolos?
Lauren Garrone
I mean, I think nine. I think this might be an all timer just because the amount of plot in it. The introduction of Harry.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, I'm giving it 9.
Lauren Garrone
I like any episode where the girls are genuinely friends with each other in ways you're not expecting. Like, I don't. I think at the beginning of the episode you wouldn't expect Samantha to do that turn of giving up her hair salon appointment to Miranda, which was very kind.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, we love to see the girls look out for each other.
Lauren Garrone
And Yeah, I mean, this is kind of the rare episode where everyone has a storyline. I mean, Samantha and Miranda's storylines are intertwined. But again, if this were in just like that, this would be a season's worth of plot.
Chelsea Fairless
Who is the mvp? I think it's obviously Samantha.
Lauren Garrone
Samantha.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah. Who are you voting off the island of Manhattan?
Lauren Garrone
Not Nina Katz, but that Vogue editor who says chained to the hem of.
Chelsea Fairless
Anna Wintour and a Wintour.
Lauren Garrone
She needs to get off the island of Manhattan.
Chelsea Fairless
She can't. She's chained to the hem of Anna Wintour. I'm going to vote off Kerry. She needs to touch grass.
Lauren Garrone
She does.
Chelsea Fairless
She couldn't even enjoy her review in the New York Times. Like, that's crazy. The fact that she managed to make that all about something completely unrelated is wild.
Lauren Garrone
I know. I forget when I watch this episode that she does indeed get a positive review.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah, that's like a lot of people's life dream.
Lauren Garrone
And I'm sorry. Men are disposable. Yeah, well, maybe I should save that for the. My hottest take.
Chelsea Fairless
Who is the best dressed?
Lauren Garrone
I think Charlotte.
Chelsea Fairless
I'm giving it to Charlotte. She looked really good during her divorce proceedings. Good for her. Who are you?
Lauren Garrone
I mean, I think this is fairly obvious. I'm Miranda at the moment.
Chelsea Fairless
I guess I'm like some combination of Carrie and Samantha. I wish I could be Samantha through and through, but I'm just too neurotic for that. What is your biggest trigger?
Lauren Garrone
You go first. Let me think of something.
Chelsea Fairless
The scene where Carrie is watching SNL and eating cherries while wearing a white dress. That is bold.
Lauren Garrone
I think my biggest trigger is the Invasion of the Body Snatchers esque look that all of the mothers waiting in the lobby give Miranda as she struggles with the stroller while pushing the door open. That's every mom out in the wild fear of like, am I gonna look like an idiot? And are a bunch of people gonna watch me as I struggle through a door with this stroller? And the answer, most of the time, is yes.
Chelsea Fairless
Actually, that brings me to my hot take. The women in this building are bitches if they're not opening the door for her. Or has Miranda done the same thing to them like 10,000 times?
Lauren Garrone
I mean, I think that's what it is.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah. They have no sympathy for this bitch.
Lauren Garrone
And she deserves it. I think my hot take is that Miranda was probably a terrible tenant in this co op and they were happy to see her leave. Between this and what happened with Dr. Robert Leeds, guess what? I'm sure a lot of people in the building talk shit about Miranda.
Chelsea Fairless
Yeah. Oh, for sure.
Lauren Garrone
Could you imagine her neighbors trying to piece together what her personal life is? They're like, no, she was dating Dr. Robert Leeds. The Nix doctor. No, no, no. She broke up with him and got back together with the father of her child, that guy from Queens. I thought that was, like, her handyman or something.
Chelsea Fairless
All right, the timeless question, how do we end these episodes?
Lauren Garrone
Well, the exit survey is supposed to be the ending of these episodes.
Chelsea Fairless
No, I know, but we still.
Lauren Garrone
So that about does it. We have, Shockingly Chelsea, because I keep track of the episodes that we rewatch. We have done almost every episode of season five.
Chelsea Fairless
Interesting.
Lauren Garrone
You know where we are lacking the first half of season six. Done a lot of back half of season six, A lot of season three, season two, season one, Not a lot of season six, part one.
Chelsea Fairless
Okay, well, we can do that next time.
Lauren Garrone
All right? Until then. Bye, guys.
Chelsea Fairless
Bye.
Hosts: Chelsea Fairless & Lauren Garrone
Date: September 26, 2025
In this episode, Chelsea and Lauren conduct their monthly rewatch of a classic Sex and the City episode—Season 5’s “Critical Condition.” With Lauren suggesting the episode for its parallels to her own life, the hosts dissect the plot, character arcs, fashion, and social commentary, sprinkled with their signature sharp humor and personal anecdotes. The conversation traverses motherhood struggles, fashion memories, the culture of criticism, and what it means to be single amidst shifting friendship dynamics.
Lauren’s pick: Feels personally connected due to parallels in her life.
Summary (via IMDb):
Chelsea’s take: “One woman's baby is another woman's Hitachi magic wand.” [02:06]
The hosts note the clash and overlap of different “crises”—motherhood vs. the single-woman's problems.
Discussion of Machiko Kakutani, the real New York Times critic featured as herself.
Comparison of real and fictional characters in the SATC universe.
Playful moment: “Nina Katz is not the booker at Saturday Night Live. That's just a Sex and the City thing. Machiko Kakutani, however, actually the book critic for the New York Times.” [04:12]
Carrie meets Nina Katz, Aidan’s post-breakup girlfriend, whose harsh facial reaction lives “rent free” in Carrie’s mind.
Miranda’s struggles with new motherhood depicted realistically—overwhelmed, underslept, feeling unattractive, clothing smelling like baby barf.
Cynthia Nixon (Miranda) was actually pregnant during filming, adding realism.
Fashion Note: Hosts dissect everyone’s brunch outfits, with a nod to Samantha’s “fluorescent pink off-the-shoulder Leonard top” and Carrie’s major “Junun Watanabe, asymmetric top or tunic.”
Introduction of divorce lawyer Matthew Bloom, and first appearance of Harry Goldenblatt.
Charlotte’s goals: securing Trey’s apartment.
The hosts reflect on the foreshadowing in using “Goldenblatt” as a name and the casting of Evan Handler.
Classic Samantha storyline: Her Sharper Image “neck massager” (obvious Hitachi Magic Wand surrogate) breaks.
Comic highlight: The struggle of caring about supposedly trivial problems while your friends become parents.
Behind the scenes: Insight into writer Alexa Jung (wrote only this episode; veteran of Friends).
**Lauren realizes her mother is her “Samantha”—the glamorous, busy woman too booked for baby duty.
Miranda returns from the salon; Samantha has used the new vibrator to calm the baby, much to Miranda's nervous amusement.
If you haven’t heard this episode, expect a rapid-fire blend of fashion analysis, 2000s nostalgia, inside-baseball Sex and the City trivia, and genuine reflection on femininity, aging, parenthood, and pop culture. The hosts’ long friendship and shared history with the material allow them to balance sharp critique with heartfelt appreciation—especially when it comes to the show’s fictional friendships and iconic fashion.
Their take: “Critical Condition” shines for its dense plotting and realism—every character gets their due, friendships are tested and affirmed, and, as always, Samantha Jones runs away with the MVP trophy.
Bottom Line:
Still funny. Still sharp. Still obsessed—the perfect pod episode for SATC fans or anyone nostalgic for the era of big cookies, even bigger Birkins, and Samantha’s even bigger energy.