Every Outfit Podcast Summary

Episode 252: "Ho, Ho, Ho! It's a Holiday Mailbag Episode"

Release Date: December 19, 2025
Hosts: Chelsea Fairless & Lauren Garroni

Episode Overview

In this spirited and candid holiday episode, Chelsea and Lauren dig into their annual mailbag of listener questions—embracing festive topics, pop culture tangents, high-camp fashion commentary, and hilarious personal anecdotes. Whether it’s Sex and the City holiday scenarios, guidance on navigating sex in your in-laws’ home, or dissecting Vanity Fair's controversial Trump administration portraits, nothing is off-limits. This lively, irreverent special is a grab bag of fashion, film, etiquette, and deep-dive cultural gossip, with the hosts’ signature wit and specificity.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Holiday Sex Etiquette in the Family Home

[03:08 – 05:08]

• Listener inquires about appropriate boundaries for sex while staying with family during the holidays.
• Chelsea and Lauren both lean towards avoidance—“Your parents and your in-laws should not be hearing you having sex at all” (Chelsea, 03:34).
• Suggestions include: stick to non-penetrative acts, wait until everyone’s asleep, or just get a hotel room.
• Memorable quip: “Must you fudge?” (Tatiana, 03:34), and envisioning a “Hitachi Magic Wand” blowing the Christmas tree’s lights.

Heated Rivalry: Queer TV Review & The Phenomenon of Women Watching Gay Male Porn

[05:11 – 13:07]

• Listeners push for commentary on "Heated Rivalry"—a “gay hockey show” that’s essentially “gay porn” (Chelsea, 05:47).
• Chelsea admits: “I could almost masturbate to this... But I did a little research, and according to recent data from Pornhub, women account for 47% of the viewers of gay male porn on that website. And that is insane” (Chelsea, 07:50).
• Discussion about the chemistry of actors, on-screen representation, why gay male porn appeals to women, and the disconnect of lesbian porn productions.
• Detailed banter about fandom origins (Stucky/Marvel fanfic origins of “Heated Rivalry”) and tongue-in-cheek speculation about actor sexuality for audience fantasy.

Unhinged Christmas Moments: Patti LaBelle’s “This Christmas”

[15:41 – 19:23]

• Chelsea and Lauren react to the viral clip of Patti LaBelle’s chaotic 1996 National Tree Lighting performance.
• Overview of the mishaps—missed cue, wrong lyrics, missing backup singers—“Everyone failed Patti LaBelle during that performance. Including Patti LaBelle.” (Tatiana, 18:23)
• Chelsea recalls a glam real-life Patti sighting at Barney’s (RIP), underscoring her “most glamorous celebrity” credentials.

Outfit Details from the Holiday Party

[19:29 – 23:41]

• Listeners request a breakdown of Chelsea and Lauren’s outfits.
• Lauren: Alaia black shirt dress + long white skirt (all RealReal), gloves (“the first thing everyone said was like, ‘I love your gloves.’” – Tatiana, 21:05), and a cameo from a giant Norma Kamali puffer.
• Chelsea: Floor-length vintage Donna Karan sequin skirt (RealReal) + Uniqlo cashmere sweater, with on-the-fly tailoring by Asher Levine.

Sex and the City Christmas Episode: Theoretical Plotlines

[27:54 – 31:42]

• Both hosts craft full episode outlines for an imaginary SATC Christmas episode—deeply tied to character canon and classic plot machinery.
• Lauren builds an ensemble dinner party with multi-threaded drama (“Miranda drops cheesecake, screams f*ck on the subway platform…” 29:27).
• Chelsea offers playful vignettes, including a Gift of the Magi-style Miranda/Steve subplot and Smith Jared arrested in a Santa suit.
• Recurring themes: Carrie's awkward gift from Big, Samantha’s pursuit of sexy Santas, Charlotte’s crisis over Trey's wedding bench.

Secret Santa for the Sex and the City Girls

[31:49 – 34:49]

• Each character gets a carefully budgeted contemporary gift:
  • Charlotte: Home Court Steeped Rose set or Martha Stewart’s reissued entertaining book
  • Miranda: Dessert-of-the-Month club or a phone “brick” for app restriction
  • Samantha: Sexual wellness items or Champagne (for strategic regifting)
  • Carrie: Diptyque candle (“No one wants to buy them. Everyone just wants to be given them.”—Chelsea, 35:00), or a vintage Elsa Peretti trinket tray.

Sarah Jessica Parker’s Google AI Commercial

[37:05 – 40:57]

• Hosts dissect the uncanny valley aesthetics and SJP’s Carrie Bradshaw-adjacent persona in the ad.
• Debate over her motivation (money and family obligations) and the awkwardness of legacy celebs shilling for tech.

NY Holiday Activities & Cuntiest Christmas Characters

[41:04 – 43:35]

• Nostalgic and current NYC holiday recs: Russian Tea Room tea, department store windows, Joe’s Pub, Christmas drag & cabaret shows, Nutcracker at Lincoln Center.
• “Cunty” Christmas characters: Christine Baranski in The Grinch, Carol Kane’s Ghost in Scrooged; “Rachel McAdams in The Family Stone is cunty in the mean sense” (Chelsea, 42:43).

Vanity Fair’s Trump Administration Portraits

[43:35 – 51:05]

• Sharp, art-world informed take on the recent, controversial “unvarnished” close-ups of 2025 Trump insiders.
• Reading the portraits as a sly reversal of iconic Annie Leibovitz Bush admin imagery. “It’s all about artifice and sort of the fakeness of the lips and the eyebrows…” (Chelsea, 45:35).
• Observations about who gets mocked, media complicity, and photo editor power.

Holiday Film, Music, and Culture Tangents

• Fanny and Alexander & Bergman: deep appreciation for “Swedish Christmas hits different” and Bergman’s pioneering “glamorous women having nervous breakdowns” genre and his fandom of Sex and the City ([52:47 – 57:05]).
• Miss Piggy’s "Santa Baby" as the “best version” (Chelsea, 57:13).

Rob Reiner Obituary & Murder Case

[57:47 – 63:11]

• (With sensitivity & some dark humor) Discuss Rob Reiner’s murder by his son, his cinematic legacy, and personal connections (Chelsea’s mother worked professionally with him).
• Best/favorite film votes: Misery (Chelsea) and The Princess Bride (Tatiana), plus Rob Reiner’s impact on multiple genres.

The Infamous Cursed, Racist Earrings

[64:36 – 68:46]

• A caller asks how to dispose of "cursed and racist" family heirloom earrings.
• Both hosts vacillate between practical advice (“bury them”) and horror-comedy (“this is the beginning of a Blumhouse film”), requesting a photo for context.
• “Just put them in a little Tupperware container and bury them in your backyard.” (Chelsea, 68:12)

More Holiday & Miscellaneous Listener Qs

• The Holiday (film) Post-New Year's: The foursome likely has a “foursome” on New Year’s Eve (Tatiana, 70:41). Kate Winslet is least tethered; Cameron Diaz’s career could adapt.
• Unhinged Christmas Crushes: Bernard the elf from The Santa Clause (Tatiana), the "naughty secretary" from Love Actually (Chelsea), joking nominations for Pigeon Lady (Home Alone 2).
• Dior Pre-Fall Review: “Something for every bitch”; approval for peep-toe mules and expensive denim ([72:34 – 73:19]).
• Chilitis update/dermatologist gripes: Chelsea’s lips “moving in a positive direction,” but “dermatologists are bullshit” for anything but skin cancer ([73:33 – 75:36]).
• Shrimp Cocktail: “Chic, but depends how long it’s been out” ([76:03 – 76:06]).
• Martini Preferences & Hosting Tips: Chelsea favors French 75s; both advocate for timed party arrivals, batch cocktails, minimal hot food, and being “armed with lots of alcohol” ([77:09 – 82:49]).

Lightning Round: Fashion, Film & Relationship

• Elasticized waistbands & Rag & Bone sweatpant jeans: Chelsea swears by them for travel and comfort (“I wear them all the time”).
• Home Alone 1 vs 2: Consensus—OG is superior.
• Valley of the Dolls remake dream-cast: Sydney Sweeney (Jennifer), Mia Goth (Neely), Mikey Madison (Anne), Joan Cusack/Julianne Moore (Helen Lawson); reflections on why it hasn’t worked yet, ideal for miniseries format.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Must you fudge?” – Tatiana [03:34], in re: sex at parents’ house.
• “None of you guys told us that it was gay porn. If you did, we would have prioritized it.” – Chelsea [05:47]
• “I could almost masturbate to this.” – Chelsea on "Heated Rivalry" [07:50]
• “Everyone failed Patti LaBelle during that performance. Including Patti LaBelle.” – Tatiana [18:23]
• “You mean quite literally the things we make up in our head?” – Tatiana on lesbian porn [09:08]
• “Imagine you come and then the Christmas tree just goes out. You ruin Christmas for the whole family. Think twice.” – Chelsea [04:49]
• “Glamorous women having nervous breakdowns… he’s the patron saint.” – Chelsea, on Ingmar Bergman [56:43]
• “Why do you think that I would know what to do with these racist ass earrings?” – Chelsea [65:27]
• “Just put them in a Tupperware container and bury them in your backyard.” – Chelsea [68:12]
• “Trees are major… bringing the outside indoors.” – Chelsea, on why you should just commit to a Christmas tree [89:43]
• “Shrimp Cocktail: Chic or gross?” – “Chicago chic.” – Chelsea [76:06]
• “Batch cocktails are a great idea–then when they run out, people will start making their own drinks.” – Lauren [81:59]
• “I haven’t gotten you a present yet. But that’s another story.” – Chelsea, on holiday gifting procrastination [15:02]
• “Of course, the answer is they all had sex on New Year’s Eve.” – Tatiana, hypothesizing The Holiday’s ending [71:14]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [03:08] — Sex etiquette at the in-laws
• [05:11] — “Heated Rivalry” & women consuming gay male porn
• [15:41] — Patti LaBelle’s “This Christmas” meltdown
• [19:29] — Holiday party outfit breakdown & wardrobe gags
• [27:54] — Sex and the City Christmas episode proposals
• [31:49] — SATC Secret Santa, gift picks
• [37:05] — SJP Google AI ad discussion
• [43:35] — Vanity Fair’s Trump administration portraits unpacked
• [52:47] — Fanny & Alexander/Bergman insights
• [57:47] — Rob Reiner’s death, legacy, and murder case
• [64:36] — Cursed, racist earrings disposal dilemma
• [70:41] — The Holiday (film) postscript, foursome theory
• [77:09] — Martini styles & hosting best practices
• [89:43] — Non-traditional holiday decor advice
• [95:57] — Valley of the Dolls: Why no remake, who should play whom?

Tone & Style

The hosts blend camp, expert fashion analysis, and confessional comic storytelling, with a deep affection for “Sex and the City,” queer pop culture, and left-field tangents. Their interactions are irreverent, explicit, richly referential, and alternately earnest and jaundiced.

Summary

Perfectly combining high-low culture; snark and sincerity; and genuinely helpful advice with unfiltered tangents and wardrobe detail, this holiday episode of “Every Outfit” is both a hilarious time capsule of 2025 holiday pop culture and a comfort-listen for fans missing Chelsea and Lauren’s homegrown, highly specific style of comedic wisdom.