A Simply Irresistible Hotline Episode

Summary

Podcast Title: Every Outfit
Hosts: Chelsea Fairless & Lauren Garroni
Episode: A Simply Irresistible Hotline Episode
Release Date: October 25, 2024

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Introduction

In the latest episode of Every Outfit, hosts Chelsea Fairless and Lauren Garroni dive into a lively and multifaceted hotline session filled with fashion insights, personal dilemmas, and pop culture references. Aptly titled "A Simply Irresistible Hotline Episode," the duo navigates through a spectrum of listener calls, offering their signature blend of humor, expertise, and candid advice.

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Discussion Highlights

1. The Legacy of "Death Becomes Her"

The episode kicks off with Chelsea and Lauren reminiscing about the cult classic film Death Becomes Her. They entertain a submitted Instagram DM question regarding the show's substance and its connections to the movie.

• Chelsea Fairless (00:04): “I spent $40,000 on shoes.”
• Lauren Garroni (00:36): “Yes, Death Becomes Her is a high point of his use of special effects in a not creepy, uncanny valley way.”

Both hosts express a deep appreciation for the film's costume and production design, highlighting its enduring influence on fashion commentary.

2. Navigating Sex Work and Platforms Like OnlyFans

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to a heartfelt call from a listener contemplating starting an OnlyFans account with her boyfriend.

• Caller (03:32): “I've always wanted to be a porn star and I've always wanted to be a sex worker.”
• Chelsea Fairless (03:42): “Do you just want to do this because you're an exhibitionist... or do you actually want to run a small business?”

The hosts dissect the complexities of entering sex work, discussing the importance of viewing it as legitimate work, potential risks of anonymity breaches, and the personal motivations behind such a decision. They emphasize the need for a structured approach and caution against the burnout that can accompany content creation.

3. Black-Tie Event Anxiety

Another listener seeks guidance on attending a high-profile LA black-tie party amidst personal insecurities.

• Caller (06:25): “Could you give me some advice on being my best self in a very LA setting?”
• Chelsea Fairless (07:42): “Keep the outfit simple. Don't try and keep up with the Joneses.”

Chelsea and Lauren offer practical advice on maintaining authenticity, managing insecurities, and leveraging social interactions to shift focus away from personal anxieties.

4. Celebrating Kojo and Patrick Sandberg

A dual-themed call praises Kojo from Entertainment Tonight and inquires about the potential return of Patrick Sandberg's podcast.

• Caller (10:56): “Do you have any opinions on his old segments or his current posts on Instagram?”
• Lauren Garroni (12:26): “It's a bummer that he is not on the red carpet any longer...”

The hosts reminisce about Kojo's impactful fashion commentary and express enthusiasm about potentially featuring Patrick Sandberg in future episodes, highlighting their connections within the industry.

5. Underdressed vs. Overdressed Philosophy

A veteran listener questions the hosts' stance on being underdressed rather than overdressed for events.

• Caller (16:40): “It's always better to be underdressed versus overdressed. Can you elaborate?”
• Chelsea Fairless (17:18): “It's just less embarrassing to be underdressed because being overdressed suggests a level of caring and pre-planning that I find to be more embarrassing.”

Chelsea and Lauren debate the merits of both approaches, sharing personal anecdotes about fashion missteps and reinforcing the idea that underdressing can often be more comfortable and less conspicuous.

6. Embarrassing Early Fashion Careers

An NYC listener probes the hosts for their early career blunders in the fashion industry.

• Caller (20:13): “I want to know if you have any embarrassing stories from your early days working in fashion.”
• Lauren Garroni (20:23): “I'll start with what I think the funniest is...”

Both hosts open up about their initial forays into the fashion world, sharing humorous and cringe-worthy stories that humanize their glamorous personas and offer relatable content for listeners embarking on similar careers.

7. The Phenomenon of "Twink Death" Among Indie Actors

A caller delves into the concept of "Twink Death," referencing the aging of once-adorable indie actors.

• Caller (26:15): “It's like, what if we made the Sopranos but Tony Soprano is the Penguin?”
• Lauren Garroni (28:14): “Twink Death is something we've discussed a lot on this podcast.”

Chelsea and Lauren explore the pressures on young male actors to maintain a certain aesthetic, discussing societal beauty standards and the impact of aging on public perception.

8. Revisiting 1990s Rom-Coms: "Simply Irresistible"

A nostalgic caller urges the hosts to dissect the 1999 film Simply Irresistible.

• Caller (31:59): “Please, please, please talk about this.”
• Lauren Garroni (33:06): “This movie is great because of my own nostalgic love for it.”

The hosts analyze the film's whimsical premise, costume design by Todd Oldham, and the cultural context of late 90s rom-coms, debating its merits and place in modern viewing.

9. Ideal Ankle Boots for Fall 2024

A fashion-conscious listener seeks advice on selecting the perfect black ankle boot for the upcoming season.

• Caller (38:44): “I need a new black boot for fall and I'm just curious what your opinions are.”
• Lauren Garroni (39:00): “One is a square-toed motorcycle boot with a block heel or a point-toe ankle boot with a mid to low heel.”

Chelsea and Lauren provide detailed recommendations, highlighting brands like Schutz and Vagabond, and discussing current trends in ankle boot styles.

10. Emotional Connection to "Six Feet Under"

A Gen Z listener expresses deep emotional resonance with the TV show Six Feet Under and requests a VIP episode focusing on it.

• Caller (46:08): “I cried so, so much. What an ending. What a show.”
• Lauren Garroni (47:10): “Chelsea and I have been having this conversation about how to handle discussing other shows like Six Feet Under or Girls.”

The hosts contemplate dedicating an episode to dissecting beloved series, weighing the challenges of covering complex emotions and character arcs within their podcast format.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Chelsea Fairless (00:04): “I spent $40,000 on shoes.”
• Lauren Garroni (04:23): “She says that she wants to be a porn star, but also the way she's going to do this is have sex with her boyfriend and post on only fans, which does not a porn star make.”
• Chelsea Fairless (07:42): “But first of all, congrats on almost a year of sobriety. That's incredible.”
• Lauren Garroni (17:02): “I don't remember us saying this, however, if I had to guess the context...”
• Chelsea Fairless (25:02): “I don't really have horror stories from. I think what embarrasses me about my early years in fashion is what I wore in the presence of very chic people.”
• Lauren Garroni (33:04): “Chelsea, have you ever seen Simply Irresistible?”
• Chelsea Fairless (36:04): “Yes. They're both movies about bisexuals, lesbians, written by heterosexuals.”

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Insights and Conclusions

Throughout the episode, Chelsea and Lauren demonstrate their versatility in handling a range of topics beyond fashion, delving into personal growth, relationship dynamics, and media critique. Their candid discussions about mental health, career challenges, and societal expectations provide listeners with both entertainment and valuable perspectives.

The hosts’ ability to seamlessly transition between light-hearted banter and serious advice underscores their deep understanding of their audience's diverse interests and struggles. By incorporating personal anecdotes and detailed analyses, Chelsea and Lauren create an engaging and relatable narrative that resonates with both longtime fans and new listeners alike.

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Final Thoughts

"A Simply Irresistible Hotline Episode" encapsulates the essence of Every Outfit—a blend of fashion savvy, cultural commentary, and genuine camaraderie. Chelsea Fairless and Lauren Garroni continue to solidify their status as go-to voices in the intersection of style and pop culture, offering a podcast experience that is as insightful as it is entertaining.

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Transcript

[Chelsea Fairless]

I spent $40,000 on shoes.

[Lauren Garoni]

What's the matter, Morty?

[Caller]

Great gowns. Beautiful gowns.

[Lauren Garoni]

Fashion has changed. No, it hasn't. Hi, I'm Lauren Garoni.

[Chelsea Fairless]

And I'm Chelsea Fairless.

[Lauren Garoni]

And welcome to another Every Outfit podcast episode. Chelsea. We're doing a hotline episode.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I love a hotline episode.

[Lauren Garoni]

Thank you guys for calling in.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah, we received so many good calls this week, but we also got one really good question that was submitted via Instagram DM that I think we're going to kick off the app with, which is a fair point. How did you talk about the substance without referencing Death Becomes Her?

[Lauren Garoni]

A heinous oversight on our part. I honestly, I don't know how we did that.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I know. What kind of vile cultural common Terry are we offering up to these people?

[Lauren Garoni]

Yes, the substance owes a lot to Death Becomes Her. Love this film. I don't know what else to say other than, you're right.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Look, I obviously love Death Becomes her. Although I feel like a lot of my love stems from the costume design, the production design. Like, I think that she Devil is a better movie if we're talking about Meryl Streep comedies from the same era.

[Lauren Garoni]

Correct.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Like, yes, Isabella Rossellini is hot, but I feel like the substance kind of improved upon things a little bit.

[Lauren Garoni]

Robert Zemeckis directed Death Becomes her, you know, as we learned, one of his few actual human films as he's gone, like, completely insane with Mo Cap, and he's also doing some weird film that comes out later this year with Tom Hanks and Robin Wright where it all takes place in one room over decades, and they've, like, de aged them in that uncanny valley way. Like, Death Becomes her is a high point of his use of special effects in a not creepy, uncanny valley way.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I need to watch Death Becomes her again, though. I think I've only watched it a couple times. Like, I watched it in childhood and then maybe 10 years ago.

[Lauren Garoni]

Same. However, I feel like I know Death Becomes her more from that VHS that haunted my ass at Blockbuster.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Oh, yeah, the candelabra through the hole in the stomach. Of course. It's so iconic.

[Lauren Garoni]

We've also been asked to do a Death Becomes her episode for a VIP episode. Eventually we'll get to it.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Okay, this is a really, really special call.

[Caller]

Hi, Chelsea. Hi, Lauren. I have a really big dilemma I need your advice on. My boyfriend and I are thinking about starting like, an only fans or a fansly. Just, I mean, to post form, whether it be like, pictures or, like, full up videos. And I'm a little torn because, like, he's already pretty successful in his career and I want to go to law school in the future probably. And all my friends are telling me it's a terrible idea. Even if we remain anonymous, we don't use our names, we don't use our faces, we don't have any identifying marks in our body. No one can tell where we are. I have always wanted to be a porn star and I've always wanted to be a sex worker. And Luke, my boyfriend, is making my dreams come true. So to me, this is like the best thing that's ever happened to me. But my friends are really in my head that this is a terrible idea. So I would love your advice. And, yeah, I'm hoping that you'll tell me that it's a great idea and I should just go for it. But don't hold back. Love y'all.

[Lauren Garoni]

Bye.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I don't think it's a great idea or a terrible idea, but I want you to ask yourself, do you just want to do this because you're an exhibitionist and you want people to watch you fuck, or do you actually want to run a small business? Which is what being a sex worker is.

[Lauren Garoni]

Having friends who do sex work and do have only fans. It is work, even if this is your dream job. Like, this is a dream job for us and it's still work. And it is annoying at times.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Well, yeah, there's things you don't think about. But don't you think if the goal is, like, having people watching you, they'd be better off just uploading some content to one of the tube sites.

[Lauren Garoni]

She says that she wants to be a porn star, but also the way she's going to do this is have sex with her boyfriend and post on only fans, which it does not a porn star make. Do you know what I mean?

[Chelsea Fairless]

Well, yeah, because I think with only fans, it's like either you have some sort of big social media presence, so people, you know, know you want to watch your porn, or you have been posting free content on porn sites that people can watch and, like, you develop a following from that, and then they want to sort of pay for additional content via OnlyFans.

[Lauren Garoni]

Also, this doesn't have to be a lifestyle in the sense of, like, sure, do it for three months, six months, you don't. This doesn't have to be your career, but it definitely feels like something you need to fulfill and you want to do.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah, and there's lots of different kinds of sex that come with some degree of risk. And because there's a degree of risk, I don't necessarily think that you shouldn't do it. But it's also hard for me, from my perspective, to gauge how risky this actually is for you because obviously the risk is you're going to be identified and publicly humiliated, presumably. Right. Like that's the risk.

[Lauren Garoni]

Right. But from her call, she sort of explained that they don't have any visual identifiers. They won't be showing their faces.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Okay, but like, remember when a certain podcaster like had that secret porn Tumblr that people then just identified them based on cross referencing photos from the Tumblr and from Instagram? So I'm just saying be conscious of that. Like, how specific is your carpet?

[Lauren Garoni]

Very true, very true. I say do it. Probably your desire to do this is going to burn out after a week once you realize how much work goes into content creation.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah, you're going to have to edit your own porn.

[Lauren Garoni]

Also not ideal. But if you do this, I would maybe not tell your friends because they seem a little judgy.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah.

[Lauren Garoni]

Anyway, call back, let us know how it went.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Send us the link.

[Caller]

Hi Kelsey. Hi Lauren. I'm going to a friend's birthday dinner and it's more of a party. It's black tie. It is my dear friend's 30th birthday and I live in Midwest, but she lives in la. And while I love this person, I post pandemic enduring, have kind of retreated to my hometown in the Midwest and I'm now expected to go to this very la, very influency, very almost American, aristocratic black tie birthday party. I've gained a little weight. I mean, I'm very happy with myself in my life. I'm recently almost a year sober. Could you give me some advice on being my best self in a very LA setting? Again, as I said, I'm a Midwestern boy and like social events don't bother me. I know how to talk. I like, understand. I'm a fuckette, obviously. But just some Chelsea and Lauren advice about presenting oneself post weight gain, post Covid in a very sceney LA party situation. Anyway, love you both. Thanks girls. Bye.

[Chelsea Fairless]

To invoke Samantha, where is this fabulous.

[Lauren Garoni]

Party and why weren't we invited? Here's how you can be your best self. One Invite us to this dinner party. All your problems are solved.

[Chelsea Fairless]

But first of all, congrats on almost a year of sobriety. That's incredible. It seems like you've made some big changes in the past few years, and that that has been a positive thing for you. And we certainly love our flyover fuckettes.

[Lauren Garoni]

Absolutely. I was also going to say congrats on a year of sobriety. But I think you've said the most important thing, which is you are very happy in yourself. So you're already way ahead of things in that respect. I couldn't tell from the call if you knew multiple people at this party or just the host, but frankly, I think you have a lot going on. Seemingly being the only person not from Los Angeles. Like, you are unique.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I certainly relate to the anxiety about having a fancy thing to go to when you're also grappling with the weight gain. For me, that also, like, put an additional pressure on what I was wearing because I'm like, fuck, I can't have a bad outfit and feel like shit, you know? Additionally, because you no longer drink, you could no longer use alcohol as a crutch in a social setting. So there's a lot going on here. But my first bit of advice, keep the outfit simple. Don't try and keep up with the Joneses. It's black tie, so you need to wear a suit. But that suit does not have to be expensive. It just has to be tailored. Don't try and shove yourself into something that doesn't fit. But also, you have to remember that it is highly unlikely that anyone at the party is thinking about the things that you are insecure about. This is something that's only going to hinder you in a social setting because you are personally preoccupied with it. So I would go into this consciously thinking I am going to resist the urge to project my own insecurities on other random people because you perceive them as being, I don't know, hotter, richer, cooler, whatever. The thing is a joy of going.

[Lauren Garoni]

To a party in Los Angeles is that these people aren't thinking about you. They're thinking about themselves.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah. People are so wrapped up in their own bullshit that, like, no one is actually thinking about anyone else. And if, during the course of this event you happen to feel like, a pang of insecurity for whatever reason, it doesn't mean the person that you are talking to in that moment is judging you necessarily.

[Lauren Garoni]

Yes. Never call attention to it.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah. So I would just try and keep yourself in check and take comfort in the fact that, like, people aren't out to get you. It's fine. No one noticed that you gained a little weight. And furthermore, no one gives a shit.

[Lauren Garoni]

You get to leave this party and probably never see these people again. If you find yourself in an awful, awkward place in a conversation, I say, when in doubt, just ask people questions about themselves. What's your favorite thing at Erewhon? How about the weather? What was your commute? What should I do when I'm in la? Did you know I'm here visiting?

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah, you always have Erewhon questions to fall back on.

[Caller]

Hey, Lauren and Chelsea, this is Teresa from New Jersey. And I'm just calling because I noticed that the pod also follows Kojo, who used to do all the fashion segments on E. And like, Entertainment Tonight. And I was just curious if you guys had any opinions on, like, his old segments or, like, his current posts on Instagram, because he has so many thoughts and opinions that are always posted. So I was just curious what you thought of him. Now, the second part of my call was, I know you guys are friends with Patrick Sandberg, and I was curious if you had heard anything about the not really podcast ever coming back in the future, even for, like, just a guest episode or a special episode. I don't know. Or if Patrick would ever even be on your pod. Love you guys. Thank you for any insights. Bye.

[Lauren Garoni]

Chelsea, did you follow Kojo?

[Chelsea Fairless]

Obviously.

[Lauren Garoni]

Okay.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I love Steven Kojikaro in the 90s early 2000s, when he was doing all of those fashion police segments. It wasn't like, at the time, I was like, I'm obsessed with him. But now I think I have more of an appreciation. And I also do think that his Instagram presence is delightful, which is why I follow him.

[Lauren Garoni]

Why we follow him in researching Stephen Kojikaru and sort of where he went. I found this factoid which is so upsetting. He was fired from his job on the Today show three weeks after his kidney transplant operation in January 2005.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah, he had a very iconic Oprah appearance where he came on and talked about all of this.

[Lauren Garoni]

I have not read either of his autobiographies, Red Carpet Diaries, Confessions of a Glamour Boy, and Glamour Interrupted, How I Became the Best Dressed Patient in Hollywood.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Another reason why I like Kojo is there was an episode of the Celebrity Book Club podcast about one of his books which, like, dragged him. But also they appreciated him at the same time. And he, like, loved it, posted about it, was down for it. So he has a sense of humor about himself.

[Lauren Garoni]

It's a bummer that he is not on the red carpet any longer doing mainstream coverage for An E. Or Entertainment Tonight or anything like that, because I feel like his Persona, which was very like, I'm friends with you. I'M eccentric, I'm kind of a fan, but somehow I've been given a mic to interview you. Like that set the template for all of these tiktokers that are now on the red carpet.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I know. And also like, even though I am like kind of phobic regarding fashion commentators that use the green screen format, like if anyone should be making that kind of content on tick tock or on reels, it's Stephen Kochikaru. Because like basically his Instagram now is just like he posts photos of celebrities on the red carpet and then writes these like highly specific, very funny, often quite unhinged captions, either dragging them or complimenting them. And I always love to see what he thinks about celebrity fashion.

[Lauren Garoni]

A favorite recent post of mine is he screen capped an allure Instagram post about how black mascara is dead and just wrote in all caps do not listen to these Satan worshipers.

[Chelsea Fairless]

See, he's funny as also he's always dragging like the outfits that Tad is styling for Katy Perry, which gives me another level of entertainment. But he's doing it well.

[Lauren Garoni]

Tad, who was like 6 when he was doing red carpet commentary, I'm sure is like this person.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I don't know if I've made her aware of it. He also has a podcast called the Kojo Files, which clearly we should listen.

[Lauren Garoni]

To and beyond Kojo have us on.

[Chelsea Fairless]

We should honestly try and get Kojo on our pod. Respect to Kojo. He's a complete and utter legend. But on to the second part of this question. I'm sorry to say, but I do not have any knowledge of a reunion as much as I wish I did. I missed that podcast a lot. And yes, because you personally requested this, we will have Patrick on in the new year.

[Lauren Garoni]

Oh, news to me. I'm excited.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I sent him that voicemail and he was like my nightmare. Me being mentioned in the same breath as Stephen Kojikara.

[Lauren Garoni]

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[Caller]

Hi ladies, Longtime listener here, which brings me to my question. I vaguely remember in an earlier episode you guys saying that it's always better to be underdressed versus overdressed. I might be crazy and completely making this up, but I'm pretty sure you guys said that. And I would love to hear you elaborate on that because I'm intrigued.

[Lauren Garoni]

I don't remember us saying this, however, if I had to guess the context, I imagine it had to do with us discussing the misguided idea that Sex and the City gave us that like Carrie Bradshaw, we could put a bunch of random shit together and look as good as she does.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah, I don't know what the context was, but I stand by it. I feel in my soul that it's just less embarrassing to be underdressed because being overdressed suggests a level of caring and pre planning that I find to be more embarrassing than being underprepared and kind of grungy. Also, being overdressed draws more attention to you than being underdressed.

[Lauren Garoni]

We should also clarify, we don't mean underdressed in the sense that it's good to go to a black tie event in jeans.

[Chelsea Fairless]

That's cooler than dressing black tie at a function that doesn't call for that.

[Lauren Garoni]

Only certain people can get away with that. Like friend of the show Lauren Kramer wore jeans to my wedding, but only he could do that.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Being underdressed can be a bad scenario. I don't think it's as bad, but it can be bad. You and I recently went to that insane Veuve Clicot polo match. Oh yes, Which I don't think we ever talked about, and I dressed appropriately for the occasion. But when I got there I was like, oh, I could have gone Hamilton. Like I have this nuts like, floral caftan that is too crazy to wear anywhere. And I was like, fuck, I actually could have worn that. Like, this would have been the place to wear such a thing.

[Lauren Garoni]

We definitely could have dressed more eccentric.

[Chelsea Fairless]

But also, we were probably cooler because we didn't.

[Lauren Garoni]

I don't know. No one complimented our outfits.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Well, to be fair, we weren't really mingling. We were just pounding champagne and watching, like, the horses do their thing.

[Lauren Garoni]

One day, we're gonna get into that VIP tent, Chelsea.

[Chelsea Fairless]

With Kendall Jenner and Nicole Kidman and.

[Lauren Garoni]

Robert Pen in Suki Waterhouse.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Wow.

[Lauren Garoni]

But thank you to father of the pod, Andy Garoni, for gifting us tickets to the Vuvre Clicquot polo match. But I think another thing that goes with overdressing is there's an idea that you're eccentric if you overdress. When I think of someone who overdresses for an occasion, I'm thinking Helena Bonham Carter, Isabella Blow. A hat is usually involved.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Right. But they're extreme people. They're tiny hat wearers. They're the craziest kind of fashion consumer that exists, as far as I'm concerned.

[Lauren Garoni]

My philosophy when I dress is to mainly dress normal but have one eccentric piece in the realm of jeans. Right. I have the citizen of humanity, horseshoe jeans, which have, like, a balloon silhouette to them. They're jeans, but they're a little bit eccentric.

[Chelsea Fairless]

All the pants are looking like that these days.

[Lauren Garoni]

Yes. Which seem to be most people's nightmares. But as someone who's, like, sort of pear shaped like me, it is the ideal pant. But here's the thing. I can't layer a tabby on top of that. I can't have, like, an asymmetrical blouse or something.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Well, yeah. You have to pick one thing when.

[Lauren Garoni]

We'Re talking about the alchemy of underdressing. This is what we're talking about.

[Chelsea Fairless]

All right, moving on.

[Caller]

Hi, Chelsea and Lauren. My name is Alison. I'm a fuckette in New York City. And my question for you is, I want to know if you have any embarrassing stories from your early days working in fashion.

[Lauren Garoni]

When I first heard this call, I was like, I don't have any embarrassing stories. And then, like, a floodgate opened, and I was like, all right, that, that. And that. Oh, that wasn't very great either.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Okay, what happened?

[Lauren Garoni]

I'll start with what I think the funniest is, which I once went into an interview at Everlane when Everlane had just started, and a friend of mine worked at Everlane got me this opportunity to interview to be their copywriter. And the head of the company was like, what's your style? And me being me. I was like, my style is like a more fuckable Diane Keaton. And he went, no, I meant your writing style.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Oh, my God, I'm obsessed with that.

[Lauren Garoni]

When I was an intern at Art and Commerce. Art and Commerce is a production company for fashion, but they also represent a lot of stylists and photographers and what have you. And it was a dream job. I worked in the portfolio department. This is, like, such a precious time where everything wasn't digitized. It was a dream in the sense that, like, every time I was there, I would have to run to Casa magazine to get the latest magazines to rip out the editorials for the various people that they represented towards the end of my tenure there. And maybe it's why I wasn't offered a job. The people that ran my department were like, you gotta go upstairs to the head of production. They need something FedExed right now. And I said, okay. And I went up and I went to the assistant of that person. I said, hey, I'm here to send something from the head of production to FedEx. And he went, no, no, here are my taxes. I need you to take them to the post office. And I went, no, no, I'm here to take the package for the head of production to FedEx. He was like, no, this is it. And I was like, I don't know what was going on with me. But I didn't just take it. I was like, no. They told me I have to take an important package to FedEx, but really they wanted me just to run this guy's taxes to the post office because he didn't have time and couldn't leave his desk. But they didn't just explain that to me. If they explained it, I would have done it.

[Chelsea Fairless]

So you just got in a full fight with this guy?

[Lauren Garoni]

No, he got so frustrated. He was like, never mind. And then I was, like, iced out by everyone.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Oof.

[Lauren Garoni]

What else? Okay. A friend of mine worked at a different agency that represented stylists and photographers. She called me because she was like, this stylist needs an assistant. And I was like, oh, I've never done that before. And she was like, it doesn't matter. She just needs help on set. The day of the shoot, I did it. It went fine. Well, something weird happened. I occasionally wear glasses, and I have a very heavy prescription. I had these really cool Chanel denim glasses. And she was like, oh, can I try them on. And I was like, I have a really crazy prescription. I'm basically blind in one eye. And she was like, it doesn't matter. And she tried him on. And she was like, ah. And then she had a headache the entire day.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Okay, that's on her. If you didn't warn her, that would be on you.

[Lauren Garoni]

That's just a preamble to this. So the next day, of course, we have to send everything back. She does not show up. She's like, you just handle it. And I'm like, I don't know what to do with any of this stuff. So there's one box. I at least know enough to be like, what's your FedEx account or UPS account? She was like, I don't have any of that. Just send it back the cheapest way possible. And I'm like, right. But she goes, just send it back the cheapest way possible. So I went to the post office and sent it. And she goes, where's the tracking number? I said, you asked me to send it the cheapest way possible. So I did. She was like, there's a $20,000 necklace in there. Okay, well, also on her. Yeah, but that was not great. I guess it's not embarrassing, but, like, that was a very stressful situation. It got there. I think she felt embarrassed because she realized, like, if this $20,000 necklace gets lost, I can't just tell this jewelry company, like, hey, a girl I met 24 hours ago just sent it a fucked up way.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah.

[Lauren Garoni]

And then lastly.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Oh, my God. How many of these do you have?

[Lauren Garoni]

This is the last one. When I was in college, I wrote for an online magazine that was also a physical magazine called blackbook.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yes, I remember that magazine.

[Lauren Garoni]

And I got that job because I wrote for a different blog and it was all handled online. And they were having a meetup at this bar, but I was underage and I got so freaked out that, like, I would be carded, my fake ID would be scanned, and, like, they would all see me get rejected from the bar that I just, like, made up an excuse and didn't go.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Okay. So that's just, like, humiliating to you personally. Although no one is aware of this situation. Until now.

[Lauren Garoni]

Yes, until now. So that's the end of my humiliation cycle. Chelsea.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I was gonna say, I don't really have horror stories from. I think what embarrasses me about my early years in fashion is what I wore in the presence of very chic people. Because right after I graduated from college, I was doing a lot of work for Amanda Cutter Brooks and Cecilia Dean, who are both insanely glamorous on Vogue's Best dress list kind of people. And I can only imagine, like, what up? Like Beacon's Closet meets American Apparel, I was wearing in front of them. That's what really gives me severe anxiety. Although a little later, when I worked at V Files, I did do something quite embarrassing. We were doing an event with Young Lean, the Swedish rapper who you may know from the Charlie XCX remix album, if you've listened to that. And in an email thread about this event, a colleague asked me to do something. I don't remember what it was, but instead of just saying, yes, I'll do that, I responded with the Young Lean lyric, got my balls licked by a Zooey Deschanel lookalike cocaine addict, not realizing my boss was also cc'd on the email.

[Lauren Garoni]

That doesn't even make sense. That's not even the answer to the question.

[Chelsea Fairless]

It did make sense within the context of this email chain. And also just to put it out there, this was sort of a vite race, like working environment. It wasn't like I was just crazy. But despite that, it's not something that my boss should have seen. And she then responded with like an all caps, like what? With like several question marks after it. See, this is why I can't have a normal job.

[Lauren Garoni]

Yeah, I think all of these stories explain why we've chosen the career of being a degenerate podcaster.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Great lyric, though.

[Lauren Garoni]

All right, next call.

[Caller]

Hey, Chelsea and Lauren. Okay, I really only made this call because I just feel like Lauren would know what I'm talking about. I was online and I saw like, celebrities who attended this, like, Mew Mew dinner during the Venice Biennale. And I see Brady Corbett and I'm like, oh, Brady Corbett, what has he been doing? I check his IMDb. He hasn't had an acting credit since 2014. So it's like, what is he doing at fashion Spanish? Anyway, I feel like Lauren would know what I'm talking about about this time during the aughts of these, like, indie movies featuring male actors that have since like, experienced twins death, starting with Jake Gyllenhaal and Donnie Jericho, but like Joseph Gordon Levitt, Emile Hirsch, Lou Taylor Pucci, and I don't think anyone would know what I'm talking about, but I just want to feel seen by Lauren.

[Lauren Garoni]

I love this call because it's an incomplete thought. There isn't really a question. But of course, dear, I know exactly what you're talking about. So One, Brady Corbett is not the love child of Brady Hobbs, Brady and John Corbett, but an indie film character actor of the early aughts who appeared in thirteen, the remake of Funny Games with Michael Pitt, and most notably to you and I, Chelsea. He was the guy who wasn't Joseph Gordon Levitt in mysterious skin.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Right? The guy who is like fisting that horse or whatever. What was that?

[Lauren Garoni]

Isn't he the one who believes he's being abducted by aliens?

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah.

[Lauren Garoni]

Yes.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Spoiler alert for that movie, a film.

[Lauren Garoni]

We clearly saw once and never again. But why Brady Corbett was at the Miu Miu dinner at the Venice Film Festival was because he has written and directed possibly the best film of the year called the Brutalist, which won the top award at the Venice Film Festival. And yes, he looks very different than he did in mysterious skin. He looked like a beautiful, twinky blond haired boy in mysterious skin. And now he more looks like he could be part of the motorcycle club from Sons of Anarchy.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Okay, true, but I feel like we're all being a little bit rude about Twink death. Let an effeminate man just fucking age.

[Lauren Garoni]

Twink Death is something we've discussed a lot on this podcast. It does not primarily have to do with actually being gay, but in the realm of like crushable actors of my youth who looked very Twinkie in their early 20s and don't really look like that anymore. Now I will say Jake Gyllenhaal. I don't think this applies to him. He basically looks the same, except a little more buff. Joseph Gordon Levitt looks a tad different. Like there is a movie on Amazon right now called Killer Heat that literally came out of nowhere. It has Joseph Gordon Levitt, Richard Madden and Shalane Woodley. And they released the trailer for it like a week before it was released on Amazon. And I'm like, who is that man? And it's Joseph Gordon Levitt. This happens to me every time a new Joseph Gordon Levitt film comes out.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Okay, I'm just saying that you're being rude and you're applying the same evil beauty standards that have dragged women down for centuries now to men.

[Lauren Garoni]

I think in Brady Corbett's case, it's super cool because he looks so different than he did.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Well, yeah, it's extremely cool that he's a successful director now. Good for him.

[Lauren Garoni]

Well, perhaps we do a best of Brady Corbett VIP episode and we can finally watch Vox Lux, which is a film he wrote and directed.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I know. I think the hosts of who Weekly hated it so intensely that I never prioritized watching Vox Lux, but I can imagine a world where I'm the sort of contrarian that loves Vox Lux.

[Lauren Garoni]

Only one way to find out. Oh, here's another me centric call.

[Caller]

Hi Lauren and Chelsea. My name is Frances and I'm a longtime phaet who's experiencing the misery that is the seasonal cold whose only cure is the nostalgia of a late 90s Rom com. As we approach or are officially in the season of the Witch, I'm dying to hear you two talk about the 1990s film Simply Irresistible. There's so much happening here. To start, Sarah Michelle Geller's wardrobe was designed by Todd Oldham. What a treat. Does this still happen in movies? This was also my first introduction to Patricia Clarkson, which always bears mentioning. The sets in this movie are amazing. Sarah Michelle Gellar's restaurant in particular. When I was a tween watching this, I fantasize of living in this technicolor dream where plates didn't match and a contraption made a martini. Little did I know that 25 years later we'd be living in this current hellscape instead. And of course, there's a few Sex and the City tie ins. So for starters, Betty Buckley herself has a role in this movie. And let me just say, she is the dog's tuxedo in it. Secondly, according to Wikipedia, the director pitched the film to Holly Hunter, who he intended to play the lead role, but the studio did not want her to play the part. Sarah Jessica Parker was then wanted, but the studio felt like she was too old for the part. So the character was rewritten to a 20 year old woman, Sarah Michelle Geller, who landed the role, which is probably actually the most 1990 thing about this movie. Okay, so thank you so much for receiving my feverish thoughts on Simply Irresistible and please, please, please talk about this. Thank you. Bye.

[Lauren Garoni]

So, Chelsea, have you ever seen Simply Irresistible?

[Chelsea Fairless]

No, never saw it.

[Lauren Garoni]

So this film came out in 1999, which is the apex of my obsession with Sarah Michelle Gellar, but also like she seemed to be everywhere. Cruel Intentions comes out in 1999, so does this movie. And also it's the best seasons of Buffy happen in 1999. So I of course saw this in theaters. But Chell, this movie is bonkers. Like it feels like it's a remake of a French film, but it's not. I'll just read you the IMDb logline. A magical crab works wonders for a terrible chef's culinary skills, leading her towards the man of her dreams.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Okay, that sounds pretty Cool.

[Lauren Garoni]

So Sarah Michelle Geller inherits her mother's restaurant. But unlike Meg Ryan, who inherits her mother's bookstore and is really proficient at children's books.

[Chelsea Fairless]

And you've got mail.

[Lauren Garoni]

And you've got mail. Sarah Michelle Geller is a terrible chef. In Simply Irresistible, there is, like, a mysterious, magical man who's like, do you want to buy crabs at a farmer's market? And she's like, I can't afford him. But somehow that crab follows her home, and she's able to make not necessarily good food, but her feelings go into the food. I seem to remember a scene where she's really sad, I think, because the object of her affection rejects her. So she cries into the meal she's making, and so everyone in the restaurant, when they eat, start crying.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Okay, I'm googling this. I see the magical crab.

[Lauren Garoni]

This is also a film where Henry Bendel plays a prominent role in the film because the guy that she likes is the head of the department store. Something like this. Guys, I am going off of my memory of watching this film, so is.

[Chelsea Fairless]

It worth a re watch? Like, should we revisit?

[Lauren Garoni]

I feel like if we package this in some sort of themed episode, like rom coms with insane premises.

[Chelsea Fairless]

So the short answer is no.

[Lauren Garoni]

I think this movie is great because of my own nostalgic love for it.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Right. But on its own, devoid of context. Look, I like how you won't just say it's not good, it's not good.

[Lauren Garoni]

But there's something about this era of film where even not good movies have excellent costumes and excellent production design.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Right.

[Lauren Garoni]

So there's at least something there.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah. We love Todd Oldham. Obviously.

[Lauren Garoni]

I love this detail, which is. I guess this was the last movie Gene Siskel reviewed before his death, and he gave it a thumbs down.

[Chelsea Fairless]

So this is what killed him. The magical crab.

[Lauren Garoni]

He couldn't even hold on till Magnolia. All right, next call.

[Caller]

Hi, Lauren and Chelsea. This is Abby from New York. Long time listener. I'm calling to see. See if you guys would be willing to cover Kissing Jessica Stein on your podcast because it's got tons of crossover with Sex and the City. Great film. I love it so much. I've seen it like, a thousand times, and I think it would be really interesting to hear your thoughts on it. Thanks. Love the pod. Bye.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Have you seen this movie?

[Lauren Garoni]

I have never seen Kissing Jessica Stein.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Okay, so this was an indie lesbian rom com that came out in 2001. It was based on an off Broadway play.

[Lauren Garoni]

I believe that makes a lot of sense.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah. And I saw it when it came out, and I loved it. And then I watched it again about six months ago, and I have a very different read on it. Now.

[Lauren Garoni]

I have not seen it, but I did go and watch the trailer. And I know I keep pitching various VIP episodes, but do we do an episode about this and Chasing Amy? Because they're kind of the same concept.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yes. They're both movies about bisexuals, lesbians, written by heterosexuals. And it shows for sure. Because basically the whole premise of this film is that this one chick is, like, sick of guys. So I think her gay friends are, like, just put like, a ad in, like, the newspaper, like, in the personal section, like, for a woman, and see what happens. So she does. And then this straight woman, like, sees the ad and, like, connects with the ad despite being straight. So she's just like, you know what? Yolo. I'll go for it. So neither of them are gay, and then they both kind of force themselves to be into each other. Like, they, like, force themselves to have sex and stuff. And they're kind of, like, grossed out by it.

[Lauren Garoni]

Cool.

[Chelsea Fairless]

And then in the end, like, one of them ends up actually, like, being a lesbian from the experience. The other one's like, I have a date with, like, Chad or whatever. I like how I'm just saying Chad the incel name or whatever, but, you know, just like some random guy.

[Lauren Garoni]

Yeah. Because Chasing Amy is built on this premise that all a good lesbian needs is a man. And, like, kissing Jessica Stein is, like, all a heterosexual woman needs when she's dated too many men is a woman.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah. And I think with Kissing Jessica Stein, the journey for the main character was more about, like, finding herself. And, like, through having this random, like, scary lesbian relationship, she sort of, like, ended up finding herself. But I will say one thing I absolutely love about this film is Jackie Hoffman is truly stunning in this sort of supporting best friend role in this movie. She is the star. And that's something that really holds up about it. Watching it now, I always thought that.

[Lauren Garoni]

Jennifer Westfeldt, who co wrote the film and stars as the titular Jessica Stein, that she had directed the film as well, but some man named Charles Herman Wormfeld directed it because this was, like, a big indie success. So I was like, what else did he end up directing? And immediately after this, he directed the Legally Blonde sequel.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah, I can see that. I think Time has sort of made this movie better and worse because it's made it worse in terms of, like, the representation of queer people and stuff. It's Made it better in the sense that, you know, it's comforting for me to watch movies about New York in the early 2000s now. And the costumes have gotten better with age. Certainly, like they look cooler now than they did at the time.

[Lauren Garoni]

So worth a rewatch, eh?

[Chelsea Fairless]

I don't know. But I love talking about it. Certainly. Moving on.

[Caller]

Hi, Lauren and Chelsea. I don't think you can fix my life, but I'm just wondering what is the ideal ankle boot. I need a new black boot for fall and I'm just curious what your opinions are and what kind of boot I should buy for myself for fall 2024.

[Lauren Garoni]

Thanks.

[Caller]

Love you, bitches. Bye.

[Lauren Garoni]

Give us a chance like maybe we could fix your life. I don't think our advice is that bad.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Okay. What do you think about boots though?

[Lauren Garoni]

I'm going to assume that you have a standard black boot.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Well, what's a standard black boot? I think she's asking what kind of black boot should I buy?

[Lauren Garoni]

See, my suggestions are not black boots, boots. So if you have black boot suggestions, I say you go first.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah. I feel like if you're buying a black ankle boot in 2024, you have two options. A square toed motorcycle boot with a block heel or a point toe ankle boot with a mid to low heel. Like mid to kitten. One or the other.

[Lauren Garoni]

So I have actual brand recommendations because I was looking. Well, I was looking around.

[Chelsea Fairless]

To be fair, you can find my suggestions at all price points.

[Lauren Garoni]

This is very true. When I think about boots, I think of a couple of companies. One is Schutz.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I wear this pair of shutz mules all the fucking time. I keep wanting to replace them and get rid of them because I've worn them so many fucking times. But I can't find anything that's better. So here I am.

[Lauren Garoni]

I think for the quality to price point, they're very good. There's a Rofella wild bootie and it's a calf hair boot.

[Chelsea Fairless]

You're suggesting a calf hair boot for everyday use. Okay. This does look like a nice boot though. This isn't practical though.

[Lauren Garoni]

It has a lovely 3 inch thick, like a 90s thick heel.

[Chelsea Fairless]

You can't wear this like in an east coast winter.

[Lauren Garoni]

Yes, in the slush. You really wouldn't want to wear leather boots either.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Well, I mean, yeah, you absolutely can. What do you usually wear? Rain boots?

[Lauren Garoni]

Well, yeah, if it's slushy and there's puddles, then I switch into something else. Anyway, I will also recommend Vagabond as a great shoe company. I think the price point to quality equates. Again, they have great square toe boots as well, but they also have a boot called Giselle, which is a dark patent leather, which I think is a nice alternative to a black boot, if that's what you're looking for. There's also the Vendella, which is a red square toe with a short curved heel. I think if you're looking for a new ankle boot, I agree. Like a short curved heel. Very nice.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah. I feel like it's not about a high heel right now.

[Lauren Garoni]

No, I can't wear anything above a 3 inch heel. Do you know how horrified I was when you and Tat were dressing me for our live show? And you both were like, you need to get a 4 inch heel. And I was like, I will die.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Well, don't get me wrong. I have lots of 4 inch heels and 4 inch heel boots. But like, on a daily basis. Yeah, we don't need to go that high if we're dressing up, if we're going to dinner, whatever.

[Lauren Garoni]

I invested in this pair of Saint Laurent kind of Cuban heel boots a couple years ago, and they're the boots that I wear daily.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah. Respectable heel. All right, what's next?

[Caller]

Hey, Chelsea and Lauren, it's Katherine from Austin, Texas. I am rewatching season three, episode three, Attack of the five Foot ten Woman, which I love because I'm also a five foot ten woman. And I'm at the part where Carrie and Samantha are at the Women in the Arts benefit luncheon, and the woman checking them out encourages them to put on their name tags because last year they had an incident with Joyce Carol Oates. Now I'm mostly familiar with Joyce Carroll Och from. From Twitter because she's kind of a spitfire on there. Maybe I read some of her work in high school, but I just sort of don't know what this comment means. Do you guys have any inside info about Joyce Carol Oates and why she maybe threw a fit about name tags? Love you guys.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Okay, I confess, I'm not a big Joyce Carol Oates head. I read we were the Mulvaneys ages ago because it was an Oprah book, but I remember so little about it because all of those Oprah, like, book club books, they're all about, like, childhood trauma, like rape, mental disorders, and they all sort of, like, bleed together for me. But I am aware of Joyce Carol Oates's Twitter presence. Certainly. I know that she has a controversial Twitter presence, to say the least. Yeah. So I can imagine, given the fact that she's like this on social media. I'm sure she's a similarly blunt person in person. She must have had some sort of reputation in the publishing world. Right.

[Lauren Garoni]

I searched her name in the New York Post to see if I could find an archival article from around this time of maybe she did have a meltdown at some sort of publishing event and this is what the writers were referencing. Or potentially she's just a well known writer that people watching the show would understand and that's just, just. It's a funny group of words and a funny incident and they just put those two together.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah. I like the idea that they just sort of randomly slandered her, but I guess we'll never know the answer.

[Lauren Garoni]

We certainly can't ask Daddy. Mpk. He doesn't take our calls anymore.

[Caller]

Hi ladies. I'm a huge fan. I just wanted to call because I know Lauren is probably watching the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City this season and I would just love a fashion temp check on Bronwyn from the both of you. The new housewife. There is a lot going on there and I would just love to hear your thoughts.

[Lauren Garoni]

Chell, I know you're not watching Housewives.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I watched the first season of Salt Lake. I'm just not caught up.

[Lauren Garoni]

I know, but like my cup runneth over. O.C. is going on right now. Salt Lake City, New York. And I think there's a fourth franchise of something I don't watch. It's all happening at once after just it being a drought of housewives.

[Chelsea Fairless]

So you haven't really had the time to thinking about, to think about Bronwyn.

[Lauren Garoni]

I don't like what I've seen. Going back to our underdress overdress question, Bronwyn is someone who definitely overdresses.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah.

[Lauren Garoni]

And I don't enjoy, especially in the Salt Lake City genre of when these women overdress and overdress with high fashion because it just never works.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I just hate when basic people are also flamboyant dressers. Like to me that's the most lethal combination. She does have some great pieces if you look at it. If you google her, as I just did. But the way that she wears them makes them look cheap and costumey. And I'm sorry, it's too soon for us to see the heart shaped YSL fur jacket again. We need to let another 10 years go by at least, if not 20.

[Lauren Garoni]

Well, also because she's wearing it with the equivalent of a live laugh love bag that says all I need is love and wifi.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Well, also apparently on the show she claimed that it was one of three in the world that was made, which I just quite simply do not believe. As someone that has seen one of them in the flesh, I don't believe that I just happened to see one of the three. I think there were several of these made.

[Lauren Garoni]

Embarrassing.

[Chelsea Fairless]

She's lying.

[Lauren Garoni]

Next call.

[Caller]

Hi, Lauren. Hi, Chelsea. This is Lauren. If my voice sounds at all familiar, I am the bucket who made 101 friendship bracelets for the first New York show. And I got pretty wine drunk when I met you two. And you were so sweet and that was like the best night ever. Anyway, I am calling because last night I finished the 2000 show Six Feet Under. I watched it because you two have talked pretty highly of it and your opinions, in my opinion, are typically correct. I finished it last night. I cried so, so much. What an ending. What a show. Thank you for the rack. I'm a Gen Z, so I don't really have anyone to talk to you about it. So I am begging, pleading, bargaining, going through all five stages of grief, asking you two to please do a VIP episode. Or until then, please, please, please tell me who your favorite Fisher child is. I am a David, a middle child. I date men. I'm so obsessed and I need you two to talk about it. So love you guys. Bye.

[Lauren Garoni]

Before we get into which Fisher child we are, Chelsea and I have been having this conversation about how to handle discussing other shows like Six Feet under or Girls, because I don't think a singular episode about the entirety of a show would do it justice. But also, just doing a Six Feet Under Girls episode at a time also feels equally weird.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Well, it feels random, but I think that makes more sense. The other alternative is doing an episode per season, but I kind of also don't think that works.

[Lauren Garoni]

My other thought was, do we do episodes by character? Because at least certainly with Six Feet under, you can kind of deal with all their plot lines separately. Like they all are a family and they. They live and work out of the same home pretty much, but they don't overlap or their storylines really don't intersect each other.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I don't know. I. I really can't figure this out. But my favorite Fisher Child is definitely David, hands down. You are correct. Yes, he's the best one, straight up. I personally relate the most to Claire. Definitely more of a Claire. I see myself a lot in Claire. Also Brenda. I'm not quite as fucked up as Brenda, but, you know, there's some overlap Unfortunately, I do understand her more than I would like to.

[Lauren Garoni]

Yeah. Having just done a rewatch, I always thought that I was a Claire with a David rising, but now I think that I might be a David with a Claire rising.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Right.

[Lauren Garoni]

In showing Paul six Feet under around season two, he's like, God, Brenda's such a. Nate rules. And I was like, no, you're gonna eat your words. Come the end of this series. You are going to say, wow, Nate kind of sucks. And I think Brenda was right. And guess what happened, Chelsea. Exactly that.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah. Justice for Brenda. Although Nate I obviously understand. I think tat is innate.

[Lauren Garoni]

Wow.

[Chelsea Fairless]

No question.

[Lauren Garoni]

Are you sure you're not a little Kathy Bates?

[Chelsea Fairless]

Okay. Yeah, I'm definitely. If we're. If side characters are part of the equation, perhaps I am more like Patricia Clarkson and Kathy Bates.

[Lauren Garoni]

They certainly have the most aspirational late in life plan.

[Chelsea Fairless]

What? Just living in Topanga Canyon and running a dog sanctuary.

[Lauren Garoni]

Okay, next question.

[Caller]

Hi, Chelsea. Hi, Lauren. This is Sonia from Kansas City. I went to Oklahoma City last weekend and I saw the Edith Head costume exhibit at the Oklahoma City Art Museum, which is super rad. I couldn't help but wonder, you could have a fashion item from a film that Edith had designed, costumes for.

[Lauren Garoni]

Which movie would it be and why?

[Caller]

And then a follow up question question is if Carrie Bradshaw could have apparel.

[Lauren Garoni]

Item that Edith had designed, what do.

[Caller]

You think it would be?

[Lauren Garoni]

Love you all.

[Caller]

Also, I would be really curious. Your take on the Penguin, it's pretty bad. That's just my thoughts so far. I'd be very curious for take, but I kind of maybe think that she thinks the same.

[Chelsea Fairless]

So much happening in this question. But let's start with if I could own an Edith Head costume. I would either pick the green skirt suit that Tippi Hedren wore in the Birds just because it's so iconic and that's probably one of the more valuable things to own. But would also love the pink evening gown and matching fur cape that Shirley MacLaine wore in what a Way to Go.

[Lauren Garoni]

I take what is the Edith Head costume that I would like to own as like, what is the Edith Head costume I would most like to wear? And I gotta go with Kim Novak's gray suit from Vertigo. I would say any of the costumes from Sabrina or Funny Face. But even though Edith Head is credited as the costume designer, basically all of the notable pieces are a collaboration between Givenchy and Audrey Hepburn. So that feels like cheating.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I don't know. I think that counts. Like she worked on those movies that's fair.

[Lauren Garoni]

What would Carrie want from Edith Head's work?

[Chelsea Fairless]

Okay, that's a truly insane question, but we'll answer it.

[Lauren Garoni]

Well. But Carrie as a cinephile is hard to pin down. Like, I was going through Edith Head's filmography and I was like, what film do I think Carrie Bradshaw has watched and loves?

[Chelsea Fairless]

I think she's watched a lot of these. We know she watches old movies because she did that with Mr. Big. They watched It Happened One Night and she watched meet me in St. Louis.

[Lauren Garoni]

I guess I have to go with Shirley MacLaine's costumes in Sweet Charity. I think something from there, I'm going.

[Chelsea Fairless]

With the blue chiffon gown that Grace Kelly wears in To Catch a Thief.

[Lauren Garoni]

Interesting.

[Chelsea Fairless]

I feel like that seems like something Carrie would wear and look fabulous in.

[Lauren Garoni]

Or, I mean, Carrie might throw us a curveball. She may want the costumes that Edith had did for Mae west, for Maya Breckenridge, to Samantha.

[Chelsea Fairless]

That's what Samantha needs.

[Lauren Garoni]

As for the Penguin, I have to say I am enjoying it. Chell, it's truly like, what if we made the Sopranos but Tony Soprano is the Penguin? They also do this hilarious thing where they kind of treat calling Colin Farrell as Oz the Penguin as like a slur, which really feels like when someone called Chris Cuomo Fredo, like, from the Godfather films, and he was like, that's an Italian American slur. And everyone was like, no, it's not right. I will say there was a recent episode with Christine Maladi, who plays Sofia Falcone, and it was her origin story. And Chell, it's one of the few examples of a woman Breaking Bad, and it was excellent. So I'm enjoying it. Don't love that. Like, in order to make good drama television, we have to jam IP into it. But if we're gonna do it, then.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Let it be the IP that you're clearly obsessed with.

[Lauren Garoni]

Yes, please.

[Caller]

Hello, girls, second time caller, long time listener. I just wanted to have your opinion about Carrie's eyewear. So, like, what do you think is the most iconic pair of sunglasses Carrie's ever worn? And what's the different kind of sunglasses she's worn that you like?

[Chelsea Fairless]

Most iconic eyewear is the wire rimmed Ray Ban aviators from the early seasons, which was a great look because it's so egalitarian. Like in high school, I remember buying similar sunglasses at from gas stations. That's a look that you can get on the cheap. But I also do like the purple sunglasses that she wears with the pink tiara, head scarf in whatever that lunch scene was.

[Lauren Garoni]

Yeah, I believe it's in market to market the first episode of season six. But this is a funny question just because it made me realize we don't actually have many Cari eyewear moments. No, she wears those kind of sailor ons doing them now those, they're not exactly cat eye. They're like a smaller cat eye glasses in season one when she finds Big leaving church. And then. Yeah, throughout season two and three are the aviators. We really don't get another sunglasses moment until season six. It made me realize this woman does not wear sunglasses.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Well, yeah, and she also doesn't care about her nails. So Carrie does have a couple of random blind spots, I guess.

[Lauren Garoni]

And when we say the aviator sunglasses, I do not mean those green gold tinted ones from the first film. Those do not spark joy.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah, no, we mean the old school Ray Bans.

[Caller]

Hi, Chelsea. Hi, Lauren. I am kind of feeling Carrie Alla Petrovsky sometimes in my relationship and wanted to ask you both for advice.

[Lauren Garoni]

My partner works in news and we.

[Caller]

Have opposite schedules in general. He works nights and I work like a normal eight to five hour. And my partner travels a lot. But I was wondering if you had any advice for me to handle my.

[Lauren Garoni]

Sort of carry level breakdown.

[Caller]

Love you both. Ciao.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Okay, I feel this one, first of all, totally normal to be lonely when your partner is absent. But there's a fine line because you also kind of have to be fine being by yourself. Your happiness can't be tied up in another person.

[Lauren Garoni]

Well, I do think two things are going on here because she talks about. I did edit this call down a bit, but she mentions that they are one on opposite schedules. He works nights and she has a typical 8 to 5 job. But then also. Sorry, this is the part I edited out for clarity. But he works in journalism so he often, like at the drop of the hat has to go off and travel to cover a story. So I think there's the opposite schedules and then the randomness of the travel as well.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah, that is not an ideal arrangement. But here's the thing. It's like, so this summer my wife was gone for pretty much all of July and I had a hard time with it. And then she was gone for pretty much all of September. And that was a much better scenario because I just personally reached a point of acceptance around it, which is like just because my partner's not around and sort of therefore my life has been disrupted to a degree, it doesn't mean that like I can let this up my Life. Especially if this is going to be a fact of my life. Like, you can't be sad and lonely for, like, months of the year. Like, you either have to, like, figure it out or do something different. Either way, I suppose it's about figuring it out. Because if you can't cope with that arrangement, that's also fair.

[Lauren Garoni]

Yeah, it is. Not for everyone. I will say that Paul does not travel much, certainly for work, but he just went out of town to see his family, and I made sure that I packed my schedule. Like, I made sure I was having dinner almost every evening with someone. I took it as an opportunity to catch up with people. So I think it's about putting in a structure. Him randomly leaving at the drop of the hat does make this a little more difficult. But I think you need to find activities that you associate with when he's gone, whether that's knitting or going to certain workout classes.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Are those things that you do well? No, I. I like how these are your examples of activities.

[Lauren Garoni]

No, what happens when Paul is gone is I devolve into my single animal self and I just work all the time. That's what I've realized. Paul once mentioned he was like, you know, when I first moved in, you said that if I weren't here, you would just work until you fell asleep. And it's like, yeah, that was my life. So don't be like me and devolve into having no life work, balance. When your partner leaves.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah, when your partner leaves, be conscious of what your screen time is. That's another thing. Because if you're just scrolling alone, like, that's when gets dark. Anyway, good luck with that. I'm praying for you.

[Caller]

Hey, Chelsea. Hey, Lauren. I just had a birthday and turned 36. I can't help but be a little freaked out about my hair and skin and all of the beautiful pictures from Lauren's wedding. And your tour has made me really curious about your skincare routines. Like, should I be getting Botox? Like, what should I do? I would love your advice. I'm not looking to be anything scary, but I'm just like, as one hits their late 30s, what's, like, a good routine to do? I don't know. I'd love to hear your thoughts. Thanks.

[Lauren Garoni]

Okay, if you're going by photos you've seen of us online, please understand I'll speak for myself. I won't speak for you, Chelsea. Like, I have had a mentee be just selecting which photos to post and rejecting dozens of other photos. Also, a truly good makeup artist will make you yassified without the need of facetuning. So there's that. But also remember that at all of these events that you've seen us look great at, I have gone into a bathroom with overhead lighting and looked in the mirror and been like, oh, I.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Looked to your question about Botox, it's like, well, I don't know what your aging situation is like. I recommend Botox. I use Botox. I love Botox. As for a skincare routine, I've never been able to be consistent about a skincare routine. I am a mess. I use whatever products I have at any given time and I'm not consistent about any one thing. Although there are a few things that I do return too. For moisturizers, I either use the Welita Skin Food Light or the Chanel Camellia Water Cream. For cleansers, I'm currently using the Emma Lewish and Oil Cleanser, but I always have the glossier Milky Jelly Cleanser exfoliants. We got to go with Paula's choice. Let's not around. Although I did try, like Kim Kardashian does make a good exfoliant as part of the skin line. I've been meaning to repurchase that. That and I always use a face oil. Either Kiehl's Midnight Recovery or the Kit Face Oil kit is an Australian brand that I love and I always am using like 10, 000 random kit products at any given time. Although again, just different ones. Not consistent. Don't have my together, never will.

[Lauren Garoni]

I started getting Botox in my late 20s. I think the mid 2010s was a big time for the idea of preventative Botox. I'm not really sure that's a thing. I'm in my mid 30s. I don't want to succumb to late 30s yet. So I'm still holding onto. I'm like mid ish. 30s.

[Chelsea Fairless]

You're the same age as this caller. Can't you just be real?

[Lauren Garoni]

All right. I'm 36 and I've been getting Botox since I was 29. When that shit wears off, I still have lines in my forehead, so it did not prevent much. But I will say, as an alternative to Botox, I have used those silicone forehead patches and they work shockingly well.

[Chelsea Fairless]

What is this, like a Dr. Jart situation?

[Lauren Garoni]

Yeah. I mean, you can get them on Amazon and they basically just so your forehead doesn't move.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Hm.

[Lauren Garoni]

But for me, in the last couple years, the game changer has been retinol.

[Chelsea Fairless]

See, my skin's Too sensitive for that shit.

[Lauren Garoni]

Okay, so here's the thing. I use Paula's Choice, the Paula's Choice one for a very long time. But then a few years ago, I got prescribed one by a dermatologist called Altreno. And I was very worried that my skin wouldn't be able to tolerate tretinoin. I didn't want the tretinoin purge where your skin just breaks out for a month at a time. And Ultrano is a very mild version of tretinoin that has a lotion in it. And my skin tolerates it very well. And then I don't have random pimples anymore.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Congratulations. I have one right now.

[Lauren Garoni]

Thank you. And I with lasers on and off. But I will say something that I've been doing since my early 30s. My facialist does it is I do micro needling once a quarter, which is sort of a fucked up process. I think I've discussed this on the podcast where I'll just look like Samantha after a chemical peel.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Yeah, I know I need to start doing that shit. That's. That'll be part of my 2025 plan.

[Lauren Garoni]

You're basically creating micro injuries to your face to stimulate collagen production.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Right? But that shit works.

[Lauren Garoni]

I look like a solid 34 year old.

[Chelsea Fairless]

You look 12. Last call.

[Lauren Garoni]

Hi, it's me, Tat.

[Caller]

I'm just calling because I wanted to.

[Lauren Garoni]

Note that it wasn't in fact a quiche that Lauren served at Easter brunch.

[Chelsea Fairless]

It was a frittata, which means there was no dough.

[Lauren Garoni]

It was just egg.

[Chelsea Fairless]

And it was the enough for one person.

[Lauren Garoni]

I love you, Lauren, but there was six of us. Those slices were thin.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Thank you, Tat, for calling it and clarifying. I think there were actually seven of us.

[Lauren Garoni]

Okay, you are correct. I did make a frittata. I had to satisfy my Atkins diet following parents, so carbs. Carbs just wouldn't do.

[Chelsea Fairless]

It was delicious, but it was not a quiche.

[Lauren Garoni]

Guess who's not getting invited to Easter.

[Chelsea Fairless]

Next year or ever again. All right, guys, that's it for this week. Thank you to everyone that called in.

[Lauren Garoni]

And we'll see you next week. Bye bye, guys.